Confidence SELF
m a g a z i n e
J U N E 2 0 1 5 * W W W. S E L F C O N F I D E N C E M A G A Z I N E . C O M
How to Take Control of What Is Controlling You Thinking Positive How to Be Happy 5 Stories That Sabotage Success and Happiness First Impressions Really Do Count
Meet:
David Shephard - a world expert on NLP
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4
From The Editor
5
9 10
Negative Thoughts - The Cure for the Silent Killer
FEATURE ARTICLE
David Shephard - a world leading expert in NLP Find SelfConfidence By Using This Interest In Others
11 12 16 15 18 19 23 21 24 25
How to Take Control of What Is Controlling You 5 Stories That Sabotage Success and Happiness
Thinking Positive How to Be Happy
Keeping Up With the Competition
Yourself With Positive People For Success
First Impressions Really Do Count
Should You Hire a Life Coach?
The Foundations of a Healthy Mind
How Body Language Works
How To Communicate With Confidence
Find Your Greatness
29
Overwhelmed? Feeling Everything Is “Out Of Control”?
27
EDITORIAL
From The Editor Magik Banaszkiewicz
L
ast week I attended an NLP event called Change Your Mind, Change Your Future. It was organized by The Performance Partnership, a training center in London run by a worldleading expert in the field, Mr. David Shephard. I must say that I have attended a few NLP trainings in my life, but none of them were so full of valuable content delivered in just 2 days. For the first time, I saw, live on stage, a man cured of his phobia in just 20 minutes! During the training, David was hypnotizing us and using Time Line Therapy®, which is a collection of techniques developed by Dr. Tad James. Time Line Therapy® enables you to very quickly and easily release negative emotions from events in the past, delete limiting decisions, and literally put goals
Confidence SELF
m a g a z i n e
into your future in such a way that they happen just the way you want them to. There was a lady cured by David from arachnophobia, which changed her life. Because of her fear of spiders, she had been struggling her whole life. It is possible to get rid of phobia within 1 hour. My question is why, in Western society, it is estimated that there are as many as 55% of women and 18% of men who feel some degree of arachnophobia? If you would like to attend the event but cannot make it to London, you can get a CD set and other materials on the Performance Partnership’s website. In this issue we feature Mr. David Shephard. Find out more about what he can do for you on page 5.
Magik Banaszkiewicz
Write to us... We would like to hear from you. Your feedback would be much appreciated.
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/SelfConfidenceMagazine @MyConfidenceMag /SelfConfidenceM
David Shephard
FEATURE ARTICLE
David Shephard - a world leading expert in NLP
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ost of us want the same thing, a life worth living. To achieve this goal we need to have tools and strategies to help us to handle problems and situations that happen as part of everyday living. We need to have confidence in our ability to communicate our needs and wants. There are techniques that can be used to help us achieve the goal of full confidence.
David comes from a scientific and mathematical background and has worked in the area of NLP for over two decades. For twenty years David has held the title of Master Trainer in Neuro Linguistic Programming and owned the Performance Partnership for over 22 years, as Chairman and Head of Research and Training. David currently holds the position of President of the American Board of NLP which has been promoting, certifying and researching the fields of NLP and hypnosis since 1982. David is also a certified master trainer in Time
Meet David Shephard a world leading authority in NLP and the chairman of The Performance Partnership (TPP). David has developed a unique program that combines four well known methods; Neuro Linguistic Programming, Hypnosis, NLP Coaching and Time Line Therapy® to help you achieve this goal and give you superior communication and influencing skills. The methods individually are powerful and can extract great change in an individual, building their strength and confidence. However, the use of all four provides a platform for change; together they provide the tools for self-fulfilment, success, influence, and transformation.
But the proof of the pudding is in the eating or in this case the training. Some examples of customer feedback include:
“As always David can motivate the audience with his charisma alone. He teaches to inspire all with his knowledge, and just when you think the impossible you do a Performance Partnership Training.” - ALLISON WARD “Successful and unsuccessful people do not vary greatly in their abilities. They vary in their desires to reach their potential.” - JOHN MAXWELL “I have been working in the area of people and business transformation for 17 years and attended many excellent types of training by some of the most respected companies in the world and this course out classes them all in so many ways. I have started using the new techniques with my clients and they are blown away. Thank you.” - JOHN STAFFORD -
Line Therapy® and Hypnosis. He is a published author with several books about NLP and Hypnosis under his wing, including, The Personality Matrix and The Achievement Accelerator. During this time David has trained over 20,000 people in NLP, Time Line Therapy® and hypnosis. Training is offered to individuals and groups and TPP have many large brands as customers, for example, Barclays Bank, Ministry of Defence, Royal Mail, Asda, Unilever, and Price Waterhouse Coopers, as well as many others. Since launching The Performance Partnership, David Shephard has built a phenomenal reputation in the personal development and training arenas. The reason he is so successful is because his training works. The training gives you confidence and heightened ability right across the spectrum of relationships, from business, through to personal. NLP gives you the opportunity to communicate better, master the art of body language and make better choices all round.
What Are the Four Techniques Offered by The Performance Partnership?
Neuro Linguistic Programming Neuro Linguistic Programming, or NLP for short, is a way of dealing with the world and optimising our everyday encounters by combining the interplay between our minds, the way we express ourselves, including language and our behaviour. The management of this three way interaction, using NLP techniques, opens up ourselves to new ways of living; it gives us the confidence building skills to really make a difference in our lives and those lives we touch. NLP is based on the research of scientists, John Grinder and Richard Bandler. Bandler and Grinder examined the work of several world renowned therapists, Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir, and Milton Ericson to establish the patterns and models of therapy, so it could be applied as teaching practise to understand how the interconnection between verbal and non-verbal communication has an effect on the human mind. NLP is a practical methodology, it is a way of improving our communications with people and can be used by all of us to help with life achievements and with general management of life events.
Time Line Therapy ®
Hypnosis
Time Line Therapy® was originally devised by a good friend and mentor of David’s, Tad James. Tad designed this technique to counter the negative feedback we give ourselves, such as anger, fear, guilt, sadness, and hurt, making us unhappy. Time Line Therapy® techniques can be used to remove the limiting self-beliefs and decisions that prevent people from creating the life they want. Beliefs and decisions like “I can’t make enough money”, “I’ll never achieve my ideal weight”, “I can’t have a successful career and a satisfying relationship” disappear for good. It is a powerful method for controlling negativity and creating powerful and forceful positive thoughts that imbue confidence in ourselves. Time Line Therapy® is so called because it helps us to create positive future outcomes. World famous boxer, Mohammed Ali, used the phrase “future memories” to visualise something in the future as being as certain to happen as a past event. He used this method to develop his phenomenal career. Time Line Therapy uses a sub-process known as ‘Creating Your Future®’ to enable you to learn these skills and control future outcomes. With Time Line Therapy® you are able to give yourself the future that you want.
Hypnosis is a well-known method which unlocks the power of the unconscious and subconscious mind. It is a technique that has been used for many decades in controlling pain, back in 1976, in the Publication, Society for Science and the Public, Michelle Galler Reigel explored the use of hypnosis in pain control in general medical practise and examples of the use of hypnosis for pain control during a surgical operation go back to the mid 1800’s. TPP offer hypnosis training to help with life management and regulation, helping to build confidence.
Coaching This is a natural extension of the work done in NLP. Coaching gives you the ability to ask the right questions, at the right time, in the right way, allowing you to access the resources within yourself to obtain the result you want. For most of us, the hurdles are created in our mind. Confidence building through coaching allows you to regain perspective and focus your thoughts on achieving what you want in life.
Programmes offered by The Performance Partnership (TPP) Free NLP Training
The Warrior Programme
David Shephard offers free NLP training days in London which occur once every six weeks; TPP’s philosophy encompasses the idea to give something back. The course, normally costing £285, is the perfect taster session to find out what NLP is all about and to allow you to decide if you want to go further with NLP and the other techniques available with TPP. The course gives you basic NLP techniques which you can use right away.
One of the most topical programmes delivered by The Performance Partnership is the Warrior Programme. This ground breaking programme was developed by David Shephard in conjunction with The Performance Partnership and is based around NLP and Time Line Therapy®. It is licensed to the charity The Warrior Programme and has been designed to deliver a professional, non-judgemental training, and education programme to enable ex-service personnel and veterans to gain independence, and to be able to function on transition back into civilian life post operations and military service. The programme is also now working with Southampton University and King’s College London, conducting a randomised control trial of the effectiveness of the programme in its impact and benefits on the participants.
Confident Public Speaking Another course presented by David Shephard is on public speaking – Presenting Magically. The course builds your inner confidence and gives you the tools necessary to become a charismatic and engaging public speaker; something we could all use in our professional lives. The course gives you the confidence to build a stage presence where you can handle difficult audiences as well as engage audience energy, banish any stage fright and influence an audience’s state of mind.
The Performance Partnership’s Magic Touch The Performance Partnership is a world leading provider of NLP and Time Line Therapy® coaching. David Shephard is a world leading authority in NLP, he is the chairman of the company, bringing his vast experience and expertise to the company, resulting in the creation of a quadripartite mix of therapies. It is this mix of therapies, coupled with the deep knowledge and experience of David that gives TPP their edge in the NLP space. The TPP company mission, “to make the seemingly impossible, possible” reveals TPP’s underlying strength and passion in helping people to expand their own capabilities and build stronger and more confident lives.
If you want to start making the impossible possible, then visit The Performance Partnership online and sign up for one of David’s courses:
www.performancepartnership.com
PSYCHOLOGY
Negative Thoughts - The Cure for the Silent Killer
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by Chris Doe Ford
o you workout? Most people think of a physical exercise when I ask them that question. You know, like a treadmill, or weights or stairmaster or anything physical, right? That’s normal to think of a physical workout. What I’m talking about here is a mental workout. A mental workout on a disciplined, daily routine that will do wonders for every aspect of your life. Why? To overcome the natural negative thoughts that we all experience on a daily basis. Especially when things are not going so well. You know what I mean. For example, if your business is not going so well, the thoughts come rushing in. “There is absolutely no way I’m gonna make it”, or “I can’t keep dumping money in this online thing”, or “My wife is gonna kill me if this business fails”. You get the picture, right? You see our minds are conditioned by your surroundings to focus and amplify the negative. After all, you live in a negative world. It starts from the time we were infants. What’s the first word every infant hears? “NO”, or “Don’t touch that,” or “Don’t put that in your mouth”, etc. It doesn’t get any more plain and negative than that. I despise that word NO. Furthermore, what did we all hear growing up from your parents? “Don’t you go get in any trouble,” or “Don’t be messing around with the wrong people,” or “Don’t be late for school,” or “Don’t do this or don’t do that.” Wow, what a negative world, huh. If you are starting a new business, whether online or offline, you
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have to overcome all the naysayers and negative thoughts that come flooding in. This takes practice. The first thing you have to do is be aware of the negative thoughts as they come flowing in. If you are embarking on an unknown journey in your business, believe me when I say that those negative thoughts will come. When you become aware of those thoughts, you can now deal with them as they arise. The second thing you have to do when you become aware of the negative thought is to immediately cancel that thought. When you cancel the thought it can’t take root in your subconscious mind. You cancel the thought be redirecting your mind. For example, “There is no way I can pay this monthly bill.” Try re-directing that thought to this, “When I sell 3 units, this will take care of this monthly bill”. You get the picture. When you cancel this thought, then anchor the cancelling of the thought with a physical act, such as clenching your fist when you say ‘cancel’, this technique works wonders on the subconscious mind. This technique is a form of NLP or neurolinguistic programming that has great affect on the subconscious mind.
I’m by no means a subconscious mind expert, but I learned this technique from Jim Lutes, Quanta co-founder, who is such an expert. The third thing you have to do when the negative thoughts arises simply to believe in yourself. Believing in yourself when all the world around you expects you to fail is an art. When you believe in yourself, you may not succeed initially, but that is not a failure. You simply find a new method and continue to move forward. How many times did Edison change his method until the lightbulb came on? As Jim Lutes also taught me, whatever you focus on is what you will create. So I ask you, “Are you focused on your failure, or are you focused on your ultimate outcome? After all, no one else is responsible for your mental thoughts.
Chris Doe Ford - for more information on this topic and daily training and techniques to help with your life, business, and relationships please visit me at http://selfhelpishere.com
SELF-CONFIDENCE
Find Self-Confidence By Using This Interest In Others
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by Suzanne Zacharia
ow do you improve your self-confidence? In NLP, there us a very simple answer. NLP is short for Neuro Linguistic Programming. It works by seeing what it is that successful people do and say, and then mimicking that. In other words, if you say what a successfully confident person says, others will see you as confident. And when others see you as confident, people will treat you with respect as that confident person. And that will give you more self-confidence. And I always turbo-charge my NLP with EFT. EFT are Emotional Freedom Techniques. It is a mixture of specific easy acupressure that you apply yourself (by stimulating the acupressure points) whilst thinking of the resistance to taking self-confident action, in this case. This removes the resistance. And then you can move forward with ease. So, today we remove one block to confidence. You know how when you are in certain company and you twist your mind in knots worrying about what they think of you, what they perceive if you, and how they judge you? Well, a confident person does not think like that. A confident person takes an interest in what people have to say about themselves, without even considering how to respond, what to say, appearances, and so on. The confident person smiles at others and generally feels relaxed in their presence. When the other person speaks, the confident person may tilt their head slightly to one side, to signify an interest in listening. So, let us do EFT first. Ask yourself on a scale of 10-0, where 10 is “no way I am doing that” and 0 is
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“yes, I am happy to put it in action”, what number do you feel about the above paragraph? If anything above a zero, tap on all the points you usually use, whilst you read this paragraph above 5 times. Keep tapping until you finish reading it 5 times. If any uncomfortable emotions come up, simply tap as follows. Setup: “Even though I have this uncomfortable feeling, I allow myself to safely rest now. And that’s OK”. Reminder: “I want to release this uncomfortable feeling.” Keep tapping the above Setup and Reminder till you feel calm. The next day, attempt the simple exercise again from the beginning. And the day after. And for two weeks. You may find yourself pleasantly surprised how much easier it gets. Finally, you will feel as if you are observing yourself speaking and acting like a confident person. And then you will feel more self-confident and self-as-
sured. Try it and see how you feel.
Suzanne Zacharia © 2014, passionately spreading the healing opportunities for health, happiness, and success. Want to use this article? You can, as long as you credit me with it and invite your readers to get my FREE online course “5 Days To Change Your Life” at http://www.New AgeInternationalTraining.com
or http://www.NewAgeLondon.com
How to Take Control of What Is Controlling You
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by Linda Ferguson
hat would you think of someone who really wanted to play mind games so that he could covertly influence people to do what he wanted them to do? To most people, it sounds at least a little sleazy and more than a little selfish. Now what if I add that the person in question is living under an authoritarian regime? And that it’s a woman who might have to depend on her skills in covert influence to sustain her life, freedom and ties to her family. How do you feel about the mind games now? As an NLP (neurolinguistic programming) trainer, I work with lots of clients who arrive wanting to play mind games. Some of them frame it in the socially acceptable language of therapy and coaching: they want to “motivate” or “help” other people. Others frame it in the language of sales, “I want to sell more” or “I want to close more deals.” And some call us on the phone and ask, “Will this help me get girls?” We are probably the only training that is sought in equal measure by people who want to pick up dates and by people serious about helping others overcome trauma, anxiety or other obstacles to well-being. We can help all of these people, although often not in precisely the way they expected when they googled NLP for the first time. People with power and experience find that NLP calls on them to check in with their assumptions, their demons, and the voices in their head. To heighten their influence over others, they need first to become more aware of the way their own experience is shaping their ability
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to read people, to make choices, and to assign meaning to what happens in their lives. People who hunger for enough influence to survive or feel better often find they need to become more conscious of the relationship between what they observe in others and what they want congruently for themselves and from themselves. What is controlling you is outside of your control, but it is not outside your influence. Whether you are limited by the rules of powerful authorities or by the criticism of voices in your head, you cannot break free. You need to wriggle free: to move in small increments until you achieve the momentum and mobility you want. In NLP, we call these increments “shifts,” the small changes that indicate that significant change is on the way. When you make a shift in yourself, you alter your state or your mindset to gather new information and make different choices. When you get someone else to shift, you build an
Shifts happen when you begin to notice two things: l what information is available that you’re not using yet? l when have you experienced the thing you want in another form or context? agreement that motivates and moves. People train with us because we give them the tools to make shift happen. We don’t promise that they will control anyone’s mind (not even their own) but we do offer a better measure of control over the choices they make and the impact they have. Some of them learn to loosen the grip that their past has on their future. Others learn that they have more influence
than they thought over what other people notice or choose to do. All of them choose training because it gives them access to the trainers’ belief that they will find what they need to have more control and the trainers’ perception of where shifts are possible. The trainers point the way to shift and the students make shift happen. When you control your ability to shift, you find that you influence others without mind games and that you look forward more often than you look back. It’s not a control game: it’s a game played for control of your own well-being and the impact you will have on others.
Linda Ferguson, Ph.D. is a senior partner at NLP Canada Training Inc. in Toronto, Canada. She and her team train clients to take more control over their lives and influence. Clients experience rapid, sustainable change and long-term learning about how their thinking drives success. Read more from Linda at http://www.nlpcanada.com
or http://www.nlpcanadatraining.blogspot.com
PSYCHOLOGY
Thinking Positive - How to Be Happy by Susan Katchur
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hinking positive or negative can affect your overall health, inside and out. You have choice everyday. Are you going to see the glass half full or half empty? Is there really a silver lining behind every grey cloud? Positive thoughts improve and build up selfesteem. They produce true joy which radiates outward, from the heart, affecting relationships. Learn how to be happy. Get rid of negative thoughts. Negative thoughts tear down and damage your innermost self and relationships. They send a signal outward, from the heart, saying there is no joy here. You’ve probably heard many negative comments or said them yourself. Some negative comments are: “why should I care when no one else does?”, “I’m just not good enough”, “I can’t do anything right”. STOP! You are hurting yourself and others around you. Are you tired of being sad? Depressed? Down in the dumps? If so, then do something about it! Happiness is a choice. Decide to make a change! No one is responsible for making you feel good, except you. Take responsibility for your own actions and thoughts, then watch your self-esteem and confidence grow. No one else can do this for you. Create your life instead of allowing life to create you. There’s a difference in truly living or just existing through life. You have one life on Earth. It’s time to make the most of it. Stop wasting time or procrastinating. Get started today, right now!
HEALTH AFFECTS Thoughts/Attitude Thinking positive reduces stress hormones and protects against heart disease. It allows the body to call upon its own innate, natural, healing abilities. Neurohormones are released by the hypothalamus, located in the brain, to offset stress hormones. Positive thinking builds up the immune system. The body is strengthened. Common colds and other ailments are less likely to occur. Boost your energy. Negative thinking can deplete the body of energy. It causes greater brain electrical activity, weakening the immune system. The mind has a tendency to get stuck in a rut. A deliberate change of thought patterns can turn things around. Your skin can reveal your innermost attitude. There is a well-known association between stress as an acne cause. Worry, sadness, depression can cause dark under eye circles, puffiness and lack of sleep. Negative thoughts or attitude can cause dull skin, fine lines, inflammation, redness or other poor skin conditions.
Some skin care specialist focus on the inner self by using meditation or hypnosis to improve outer skin appearance. Innermost true joy and happiness radiates outward, resulting in a natural skin glow.
WAYS TO BE HAPPY It is important in how you see yourself, regardless what anyone else thinks. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself. You are of great worth and there is no one like you on Earth. You are truly special and unique. Surround yourself with positive thinking people. Remove yourself from negative thinking people. Some people want to tear you down with constant ridicule or critical comments in order to gain a sense of power, but in reality they are only showing their weakness. When you remove yourself from negative thinking people you will begin to trust and believe in your own decisions. Your self-esteem will grow and radiate out to others. If life knocks you down, get up! Everyone has set backs or disappointments. Do not wallow in your misery or self-pity. You are only hurting yourself. Life goes on. Relationships from family, to friends to co-workers will improve when you are positive.
HOW to Be HAPPIER - Easy Steps (Take Small Steps with One Thought/Action at a Time)
l Smile l Meditate l Call a friend. l Be kind to others. l Eat healthy meals. l Turn off bad news. l Get plenty of sleep. l Have a good work ethic. l Get rid of negative thoughts. l Fill up with positive thoughts. l Drink water. Avoid diet sodas. l Exercise at least 3 times a week. l Be honest with yourself and others. l Share your love with people and/or pets. l Volunteer in social activities or functions. l Change your dysfunctional, daily, routine. l Don’t waste time. Live life to its fullest potential. l Engage in fun activities. Start a new craft or project. l Laugh everyday. Tell jokes. Watch a funny movie or TV show. l Discover world beauty from small flowers to bright shining stars. l Get a change in environment. Travel to new, fun or relaxing places. l Humble yourself. Be quietly proud of accomplishments. Don’t boast. l Keep your mind alert. Play thinking games: chess, crossword puzzles etc. When you are thinking positive you are more likely to take better care of yourself. Develop a “can do” attitude. Begin to see a bigger, brighter, broader world beyond
yourself or your situations. Your positive energy can be an inspiration to you and others around you. There is nothing to gain with negative thinking. NOTHING! Start thinking
How to Be Happy in Life:
positive today. You can make a difference in the world and leave a great legacy just by being positive. Fill your life with positive energy and true joy then spread it to others!
Susan Katchur, Website Owner and Designer. Writer. Teach Soap Making, Health and Skin Care Tips. Star Gazer and Amateur Astronomer. Love Kids and Pets. School of Education; University of Louisville, KY Medical School; University of Louisville, KY Read more from Linda at http://www.nlpcanada.com
Skin Care Tips:
http://www.natural-goat-milk-soap.com/homemade-skin-care.html
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or http://www.nlpcanadatraining.blogspot.com
PSYCHOLOGY
Keeping Up With
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the Competition
by Kim L. Clark
egardless of the business that you’re in, it is important to be aware of the activities of competitors. We can learn a lot from them, lessons of both the what to do and what not to do variety. But be mindful that it is inadvisable to base your marketing strategies and sales stories on what competitors do and say. Such an approach is reactive. Your business interests are better served when being proactive. In other words, it’s smarter to be yourself. That requires confidence, yet there will be no real success I’ll let you in in life or business inspire trust and on a few pearls that were without a secure confidence? recently shared with me: and healthy sense l Let the client know how you will work. Are you able to of self. Without anticipate and l Answer frequently asked questions that character show empathy before the client has to ask them. trait, one cannot for client needs? be authentic. l Set up a timetable to let clients know Do some Clients respond when they can expect the deliverables reality-testing best to authenticity. and when key milestones while on an will be reached. To help yourself assignment and ask stay true to yourself, your client this: “What start by acknowledging can I do to make things your strengths and remind better, easier, faster?” This little yourself of where you excel. Next, question let clients know that you’re as you monitor the competition, willing to go the extra mile and rather than obsessing over what provide services that make their lives they are doing, pay attention instead easier. You’ll look like a hero, you’ll to what they’re not doing. Where strengthen client relationships and and how can you provide solutions you’ll position yourself to grab some that clients value and how can all-important repeat business. You you best package and deliver it? may even tweak your business model Another big way to beat the if you find out that certain of your competition is to create a good practices can be an inconvenience. experience for the client. Think If you have friends and family who about how it may feel to do business in their jobs hire Solopreneurs, ask with yourself. Do you make it them what they’d like to see more of easy? Do your business practices and less of in the vendors they work
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with. Ask them about what types of behaviors they consider red flags and deal-breakers. Ask them if they could hand-craft the experience they have when interacting with their Solopreneur consultants, what would it look like? Aim to make your clients feel guided and taken care of. This inclines them to trust you and allows them to relax and know that a professional is in control. You look like a real pro because you are always a step ahead. You know how to land the plane, the project is in expert hands and they look like a genius for hiring you. This also supports premium pricing because you demonstrate in all ways that you are worth the money. Ta-dah, you can and will beat the competition! Thanks for reading, Kim
Kim L. Clark is a strategy and marketing consultant who works with forprofit and not-for-profit organization leaders who must achieve business goals. Kim is the founder and principal of the consulting firm Polished Professionals Boston and she teaches business plan writing to aspiring entrepreneurs. Learn how your organization can benefit when you work with Kim http://polishedprofessionals boston.com
PSYCHOLOGY
5 Stories That Sabotage Success and Happiness
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Powerful stuff!
“You are what you believe yourself to be” - PAULO COELHO -
by Sherry Essig
ou’re a masterful storyteller. Trust me, you are; it’s what we humans innately do. Our brains are wired to retain and organize information in story form. And stories are how we learn, grow, connect, and make sense of the world. Yup, stories impact us in powerful ways. And the most impactful stories are the ones we tell ourselves. Stories about what we can and can’t do, who we are and aren’t, what we do and don’t deserve, what we should and shouldn’t do, and whether it’s okay to shine our light or better to play small. Talk about potent! You’re impacted every day
by your stories, because they create the context within which you align your choices. And it’s your choices that move you toward - or away from - success and happiness. Powerful indeed. Karin’s story. When Karin first called me about coaching, she was a stressedout, exhausted, hot mess. A successful sales executive with two teenage daughters and one dog, cat, and husband, she wanted help getting a “little more balance” into her life. And though she didn’t know it, she also needed a new story. As she described her situation,
Here are 5 common stories that WILL sabotage your success and happiness if you keep them around: 1. That’s just the way I am. We all have deeply rooted-habits, and we all have natural tendencies to be, act, or do in a certain way. But it’s not just the way you are. Hang on to that story, and you’ve effectively taken away the possibility of change. (Can you feel the intransigence, even militancy, of this story?) Turns out Karin was capable of change. She wasn’t just that way. The same holds true for you. 2. I can’t “fill in the blank”. If you believe you can’t, you can’t. That’s what makes this such a sabotaging story. Because 99% of the time you actually can, if you’re willing. Yes, it might be scary, push you out of your comfort zone, or conjure up visions of failure. But that doesn’t mean you can’t. Change your story to “I can” and you’ll open up space for what you want. “I can” is powerful and confident: I can be strong, I can take a stand for myself, I can find the courage to be me, I can deal with this difficult situation, I can be successful and happy.
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3. I don’t have time to slow down. I get it. There never seems to be enough time for everything that’s important. But you can’t afford NOT to slow down, because the more you slow down: -- the clearer you think; -- the easier things are; -- the more self-aware you become; -- the more breathing space you create; -- and the more capacity you have to see choices. Ironically, the slower you go, the further you’ll get and the easier the road. 4. If only X, then... If only will keep you stuck forever. And that’s because if only is magical thinking, a wish for something over which you have no control. Now is the time to start creating what you want in your life. 5. I have no choice. ... the mother of all sabotaging stories. You ALWAYS have a choice. You are a masterful storyteller. And you get to choose whether to make your stories saboteurs or supporters.
I commented that it sounded like she let everyone else’s needs trump hers. Karin sighed and said, “I know. But that’s just the way I am; that’s never going to change.” Crrrraaaash! That’s the sound of Karin slamming into her story called That’s Just the Way I Am. She’d crafted her story so masterfully that she believed it to be an inalienable truth: that she was constitutionally incapable of valuing her needs, wants, and desires as equal to those of others. More balance? Not with that story! And she’s not the only one schlepping around not-gonna-getyou-where-you-want-to-go stories.
Sherry Essig specializes in helping professionals get unstuck so they can expand their capacity for more... more happiness, success, and peace of mind. Her work is built on an understanding that your professional career and your personal life are two aspects of the whole that is you. She blends over 25 years of business experience, applied metrics, and in-depth coach training with the principles of leadership of self, positive psychology, and yoga. For additional free resources to help you get unstuck visit http://www.flow-dynamix.com.
PSYCHOLOGY
First Impressions Really Do Count by Mark R Stephens
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e’ve all heard about how important first impressions are. In business, the firm handshake, eye contact, smile and initial greeting are all highlighted as key to creating a good first impression. But how much control do we have over it? As neuroscience develops, it is confirming just how important and deep-seated these initial feelings towards others are - and often we can’t do anything about it.
The judgemental amygdala Neuroscience, through the use of advanced brain imaging techniques, allows us to test how specific areas of the brain react to certain stimuli. Those images you have seen of the brain with brightly-coloured ‘hear map’ areas lit up denote extra neural activity as measured by fMRI. Neuroscientists have a good understanding of which areas of the brain are responsible for which elements of behaviour, though the exact mechanics of these relationships are less certain. The amygdala, for instance, are two almond-shaped areas located within the temporal lobes of the brain and they are known to play an important role in the processing of memory, decision-making, and emotional reactions. They are part of the limbic system of the brain. They also play a key role in making snap decisions and judgments it seems, and they are capable of producing responses to complex social signals such as the trustworthiness of a face even before we become aware of it - as confirmed in a study recently published in
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the Journal of Neuroscience. In the study, subjects were shown a series of facial images of strangers both real and manipulated ones using features like high inner eyebrows and pronounced cheekbones known to engender a feeling of trust. The scientists found that specific regions inside the amygdala exhibited activity tracking how untrustworthy a face appeared; other regions showed activity tracking the overall strength of the trustworthiness signal even when not seeing faces consciously. Almost like a throwback to our ‘fight’ or ‘flight’ mentality, the amygdala seems to help us instantly form an impression of someone even before we are conscious of it.
Taming the emotional response It’s easy to see how these snap judgments could be of use in our ancestor hunter and gatherers; but in the meeting room or the boardroom they are less helpful. That’s why the best leaders usually demonstrate an ability to tame these responses. They are able to ‘switch’ away from the more primitive and emotionally-based limbic functions of the brain, to the more measured and considered responses characteristic of the
‘higher thinking’ system of the brain. Understanding the primitive responses in our brains is the first step to being able to master them better and achieving the control over our reactions that is one of the keys to leadership. Rather than relying on first impressions, leaders make informed decisions - and it may take an extra effort of will to overcome the ‘instincts’ of the brain. The team at NeuroPower is at the forefront of introducing new approaches to organisational development through the findings of neuroscience. We apply them to all types of businesses, developing high performing teams and enhancing leadership. Find out more at our website: http://www.neuropowergroup.com
Mark R Stephens With a background in travel, B2B sales and personal development, I am a published author and editor, resident in Thailand for the past decade; originally from the UK and also an Australian citizen.
PSYCHOLOGY
Surround Yourself With Positive People For Success by Bud Bilanich Self confidence is an important key to personal and professional success. If you want to become self confident you need to do three things. 1) Become an optimist. 2) Face your fears and take action. 3) Surround yourself with positive people.
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n this article, I’d like to focus on the importance of surrounding yourself with positive people. Positive people help your self confidence because they tend to see the potential in you even when you might not see it in yourself. Negative people, on the other hand, will hinder your self confidence because they tend to reinforce your self doubt and negative beliefs about yourself. As Mark Twain said... “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that. The really great make you feel that you too can become great.” Positive people help you realize your dreams. Negative people take them away. Positivity and optimism are contagious. Unfortunately, so are negativity and pessimism.
Surround yourself with positive people, and you’ll become positive and self confident. On the other hand, surround yourself with negative people, and you’ll become negative and lose your confidence. Self confidence and negativity are mutually exclusive. Negative people tend to come in two flavors: cynics and humorists. Cynics are not fun. They don’t like much of anything. They’re the kind of people who complain about having to pay taxes after winning the lottery. Humorists, on the other hand, can be seductive. They’re clever and amusing. They go around with a smirk on their face, using humor to point out everything that’s wrong. At first, they can be fun to be around. It’s like the two of you have an inside joke on the world. In the long run though,
their negativity will wear you out. Set your boundaries. Walk away from the negative people you encounter. End your toxic friendships. It may be difficult at first, but as you move away from negative people, you’ll become more positive and will attract positive people into my life. Forming a group of positive friends and colleagues is one way of surrounding yourself with positive people. Make a commitment to meet with this group on a regular basis to discuss one another’s hopes, dreams and goals. Exchange ideas and support one another. You want to find people who accept you for who you are, but are willing to challenge you, in a positive and constructive manner, to excel and to become a personal professional success. »
“The Mastermind principle consists of an alliance of two or more minds working in perfect
I can’t take credit for this idea. In Think and Grow Rich, probably the most famous self help book of all time, Napoleon Hill suggested the idea of Mastermind Alliances. An article in the February 2009 issue of SUCCESS Magazine defines a Mastermind Alliance...
harmony for the attainment of a common definite objective. Success does not come without the cooperation of others.”
A Mastermind Alliance then, is a group of positive people helping one another achieve goals; exactly what I suggested above. Of course if you want to surround yourself with positive people, you need to be a positive person yourself. Here are ten small sentences you should incorporate into your daily vocabulary if you want to become known as a positive person: o You can do it. o I believe in you. o I’m proud of you. o Thank you. o I need you. o I trust you. o I respect you. o I appreciate you. o I value you. o I love you.
Here are some of my best ideas on attracting positive people. o Think positively. Train yourself to see the opportunity in every difficulty and the good in every person you meet. Be genuinely happy about not only your success - but the success of others in your life. o Smile. Smiles are contagious. When you smile at others, they tend to return the favor. A smile can have a positive impact on someone who is having a bad day. By smiling, you’ll attract other smiling positive people - the kind of people who will help you fulfill your dreams. o Speak positively. You attract positive people when you say positive things. When someone greets me by saying, “How are you?” I always smile and answer “Great, and you?” even if I’m having a tough day. This doesn’t mean that I don’t share my troubles with close friends. I just don’t wear them on my sleeve. The common sense point here is simple. Self confidence is an important key to personal and professional success. Surrounding yourself with positive people is a great way to build your self confidence. Jettison the negative people in your life. If you can’t remove them completely, do your best to keep them at arm’s length. Build a network of positive people by being positive yourself. Think positively. Smile. Speak positively. Article Source lll
Bud Bilanich is a success coach, motivational speaker, leadership consultant, author and blogger. In his latest bestseller “Straight Talk for Success,” Bud explains the five keys to a successful life and career that he has developed after 20 + years of research and study of success and successful people. Bud can help you become the personal and professional success you deserve to be. Visit http://budbilanich.com/success.html
to claim several valuable success gifts and to sign up for his free weekly eZine, “Common Sense.” Log on to http://budbilanich.com/success.html
to collect your free gifts.
Should You Hire a Life Coach?
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by Andrew Stratton
ow more than ever, with the mindfulness movement in full swing, people want to live meaningful lives filled with purpose and fulfillment. They want to identify their passions, accomplish new goals, and live life more intentionally. While all of these things sound nice, sometimes it’s hard to know where to start or how to find motivation to keep going. This is why a life coach can be your greatest asset. A life coach will guide you through personal and professional obstacles, make sure you stay on track, and help you live up to your fullest potential. Life coaches are a great investment for anyone who wants to lead a better life. Here are a few reasons why hiring someone to walk you through important decisions could transform your circumstances for the better.
They Give You a Unique Perspective When you find yourself stuck in a rut and looking for help, sometimes talking to a friend or family member isn’t always the best option. While your friends and family care about you deeply, they may have preconceived notions about your particular situation, which might just keep you stuck in the same place. By hiring a coach, you’re able to build a completely new relationship and receive objective, unbiased feedback from someone who has every incentive to help you make your dreams come true.
They Test Your Limits As much as we want to make improvements in our lives, we sometimes have a tendency to procrastinate or settle for a situation that is mediocre. The truth is that if we don’t have someone else holding
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us accountable for our goals, we are less likely to make them happen. When you work with a coach, you will have someone who is responsible for making sure you reach the goals you set and pushes you to continuously grow and improve in those areas. Knowing that someone will be checking in with you will help give you the motivation you need to work on your goals.
They Give You Confidence and Direction When we are trying something new or working toward a goal, we often hear a little voice in our head telling us all the reasons why it won’t work and why we can’t do it. This negative selftalk is detrimental to our personal development, not to mention that it’s usually wrong. Your coach will help you rationalize your negative thoughts, give you confidence, and assist you in outlining a path you believe in. Having this support and guidance could be the difference between staying complacent and achieving your goals.
They Assist with Big Decisions Trying to make big decisions or answer big questions can be a daunting task. If you’re wondering what you should do with your life or if you should make a career change, this can leave you feeling helpless and lost. A life coach can walk you through this process in a way that makes you more comfortable and eventually gives you a tangible result. The answers to these questions will have a lasting impact on your life, which is why consulting an expert may be the best decision you make. To learn more about their options for a life coach, Worcester, MA residents should visit http://www.motivactgroup.com/
Andrew Stratton
The Foundations of a Healthy Mind
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by Jed McCall
e all understand how we get a healthy body, don’t we? We know we need to make sure to eat healthily, exercise regularly and cut down on bad habits such as drinking and smoking; however, building a healthy mind is less understood. Furthermore, many people do not even consider the importance of having a healthy mind. Since there is so much confusion about healthy and unhealthy minds, let’s try and clarify this. First of all, having an unhealthy mind does not mean you like to watch horror films or play violent computer games, but it does mean taking a healthy interest in life, habit and behaviour. The sign of an unhealthy mind is seen in the least in self critical behaviour and in the most with clinical mental illness. Just feeling sad from time to time is not a sign of being unhealthy, for that is part of being human. An unhealthy mind sees difficulty in everything and finds adapting to circumstance near enough impossible. If you have ever failed to do something because you feel that you are not good enough, you may have to loud an internal critic. The different parts of our personality are organised in importance according to levels of self belief. So for instance,if you are lacking in confidence, the chances of you having a daring or risk taking personality are significantly reduced. Many people think their personalities are set in stone with the ‘I was born that way’ expression being the popular refrain. Yet the chances are you know someone who has achieved something that has changed their character forever, such as losing weight, gaining a qualification, having children or getting married. To say our personalities are set is stone is like saying we never change as we get older, and we know this is not true. Yes, being human is all about accepting change while adapting to it accordingly. The foundations of a healthy mind are those built on an acceptance of change on the one hand; and a desire to maximise as much benefit from it on the other. In the example of someone who manages to lose weight, we thought about the possible changes
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to that person’s character. The chances are that individual will become more confident, feel more attractive and have the courage to learn new skills. The physical act of losing weight will have had a real time effect on their mental health. Of course, in this example, the change is one that the individual desired and prepared for. How can we have a healthy mind when there are so many random, difficult events that can happen in our lives? I mean we can’t change what happens to us, right? Well, a healthy mind is one that is capable of adapting to change and events that are good or bad. You see the individual who is healthy and happy is best placed to cope with any eventuality. Having high morale means being able to take the rough with the smooth. A healthy mind is a resilient mind. You may not be able to change the things that happen to you, but you can affect your response to them. Never underestimate the power of your own mind to deal with the bad things that happen in life. An unhealthy mind thinks in patterns of negativity and self critique; whereas a healthy mind is ingrained in a pattern of positive attitude and self affirmation. There are various ways you can increase your mental strength. I am not saying you can learn to bend spoons here, but I am saying you can develop mental fortitude. So long as you are willing to put the work in, a strong and healthy mind is within the reach of everyone. This will help you to cope with stress, keep anxiety at bay and be more well rounded in your personal life. One of the best ways to increase you levels of resilience is through insight. When something that makes you feel bad happens then ask: What happened? How did it affect you? Why did other people behave the way they did? How do you feel about it? What other factors were part of what happened? People who ask themselves penetrating questions and give honest answers tend to bounce back more quickly. Many years of struggle to overcome negative thought patterns and achieve success in personal and financial life has opened my mind to others in the same or similar situations, too many of us have spent to long in the success wilderness. Take a look at what is on offer and remember to get your no cost package of amazing tools to assist you.
PSYCHOLOGY
How Body Language Works
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by Catherine E.P. Gray
ody language is another term given to the non-verbal communication we do with our bodies every day. In face eighty percent of our daily communication is considered to be non-verbal. The study of body language works by studying our various body gestures, eye dilations and even the change in pitch of our voice in certain situations. The basic premise of body language is that our body’s limbic system or reptilian brain, which controls our most basic survival functions, including the fight-orflight response, will naturally tell our bodies to perform certain gestures. Even babies seem to intuitively know how body language works and are able to communicate their needs to us via their small body gestures. Babies learn from an early age how certain gestures elicit certain responses. For instance smiling and tilting one’s head slightly often results in an increase in attention. Even learning how to shake one’s head “yes” and “no” seems to be derived from our childhood, where the “yes” head nod allowed us to find our mother’s breast to feed from, and the “no” head nod terminates the feeding process. When we are children, body language signs are more apparent because we haven’t learned how to hide them or minimize them. As a result, children make excellent examples of study when it comes to
non-verbal communication. Children generally have little control over their reactions to various situations, so when they have a like or dislike over something they usually let you know. As a result you will see more natural limbic body language signs from children than you would from an adult. For example, when a child lies they tend to cover or touch their mouths, almost in an effort to prevent the lie from escaping. As we get older we might deflect this motion by scratching our nose or combing our fingers through our hair. As we get older we learn how to mask our face and some of our movements. In these cases body language works by studying the parts of the body we have little to no control over, and the parts of the body that we generally don’t pay attention to. This means the observing of our feet, pupil dilations, and the pitch of our voices. Our feet are one of the few parts of the body we don’t really pay attention to unless we’re consciously thinking of them. As a result the feet are often where people studying body language will start. They can tell you who the dominant person is in the relationship, whether someone is truly interested in you, and if someone is getting ready to leave. Pupil dilation is another body language sign observed to see if someone likes or dislikes something. However, this response only lasts momentarily so unless you are close enough to observe their initial response to a visual stimulus, you’re going to miss seeing the pupil dilations. Our vocal pitch is also something we should be aware of since our voice often reflects the emotions we’re feeling. For example when stressed many individual’s voices will start to increase in pitch.
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If someone’s pitch doesn’t change when they’re stating something that should have an emotional response associated with it, than that may be a sign of deceit. Now that you know how the study of body language works, the next time you go out take the time to observe those around you and see what you can decipher from their body language signs. Just make sure that you’re not too obvious in your observations of others, as this will make people uncomfortable around you, and change their body language signs.
Catherine E.P. Gray is the President & Founder of Inside-Out Beauty, LLC a full service image consulting company based in New York City that enables clients to achieve their personal and/or professional image goals by addressing all the interrelated aspects of one’s image. For more information on Inside-Out Beauty and how they can help you or your company achieve your goals by showing you how body language works, please visit http://www.insideout-beauty.com
PSYCHOLOGY
How To Communicate With Confidence
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by Kevin Sinclair
omething that all great communicators have in common is that everyone listens when they speak. However, communication happens to be one of the biggest fears that many people have, especially public speaking. In fact, people are more fearful of public speaking than death! Have you ever wondered why people do not listen to you even though you have good ideas to share? Read on, this is an article for you.
Communicating confidently is more than what you are speaking. It also has to do with your body language. What does the mind of a successful communicator look like?
A know it all is not a confident communicator You do need to have a good handle and knowledge of the subject you are speaking about, but it is how you say things rather than what you say. A successful person does things differently rather than doing different things. You have to be fully convinced of the subject you are speaking about and it is then that others will hear
that conviction in your voice. It is when your voice is equipped with conviction that it will hold other people’s attention. If what you speak about is useful to your listeners and said with conviction, you are then appreciated. This of course, increases your self-confidence!
People do not make confident communicators nervous Many people fear catastrophes that actually never comes to pass. In addition, people have strong images of people in their own minds, to the point that they may actually think someone else is perfect. This imaginary perfect personality and their own personality that they
tend to make comparisons to is an unfair way to compare. It is this type of thinking that will breed the fear of speaking and meeting other people. It can lower your selfconfidence and you may fear what it might be like to speak to these “perfect” people that you created in your mind. Of course, in the real world. no one is perfect and you have to know this in the deepest part of yourself. Everyone has faults and their own set of weaknesses. It is vital for you to know that people are essentially imperfect. This can help you to have more confidence when you face people.
What you see is what you get. Snooze and you lose It is to your advantage that you be in your best mood and have a pleasant demeanor when you meet new people. Of course, you cannot expect to be in a good mood all the time, which means you may not always be prepared to communicate or you may be fretting over another matter. Confident communicators learn to keep their emotions in control. This is an excellent way for the communicator to make sure he or she is in control of the situation. While you may not be in the best of moods, you keep indecisiveness far away, because being indecisive will take from your focus as well as your energy and you will then not make a good impact. When you decide to communicate, have faith in yourself and proceed.
Watch your body language Your posture, gestures, and your eye contact will be talking louder than your words. Did you know that body language has the ability to cut through language barriers, places, time, and knowledge? People begin interpreting your body language unconsciously wherever you go. Those around you begin to make impressions about you as soon as they make eye contact with
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you. Your body language has a big impact on the very impression you make, even without speaking.
Facts you should know l You could have a sad expression
due to another matter, but the person you are speaking with has no way of knowing this and may interpret the sadness as you not approving of what he or she is saying, which can lead to a misunderstanding. l Steadily gazing can be interpreted as aggression, intensity, anger, or a strong interest. If you have very little eye contact, it may give the impression that you are shy or lacking in confidence. l When your hands are open it is interpreted as being honest, but if you tend to make a lot of hand gestures, it can be interpreted as nervousness. Being a confident communicator, which includes both your words and body language is not something that you can be perfected in one day. However, take every opportunity you can to speak to others. Take note of your communication skills
such as your mistakes and your strong points and how you affected the person overall. Learn from your experiences and then there will be no reason why you cannot be a successful communicator. Sign up for your free 7 day e-course “ Boost Your Self-Esteem “ to learn how to raise your selfesteem and be free of anxiety, stress and loneliness as your life becomes more rewarding and satisfying. Click here to grab your copy now. Don’t hesitate as this special e-course may not be available for long.
Kevin Sinclair Kevin Sinclair is the owner of Personal and Business Success Resources, Be Successful News, Net-MLMProfits.com, MusicianHome. com, and my-personalgrowth.com - all web sites focused on providing you with relevant information to help you succeed in your business, or life.
Overwhelmed? Feeling Everything Is “Out Of Control”? by Ling B Wong
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ave you ever felt like everything is spinning out of control and you are so overwhelmed that you just freeze in analysis-paralysis? Do have a to-do list a mile long yet you have no idea what to do? Here are a few tips on how to put yourself back onto the driver’s seat. The first thing is to assume personal responsibility that we can take back control. When we feel like everything is out of control, we are relinquishing our personal power to external circumstances and taking on a victim mentality. Now I don’t mean being a control freak - trying to control circumstances we cannot control adds a lot of undue stress, and further confirm that we are not in control! But we can decide how we perceive a situation and hence change how we react. By surrendering, we often open up possibilities that we are unable to see because we are fixated on one specific outcome. It is easier said than done, and it’s a practice to get out of our thinking (monkey) mind that tends to give you simulation of 12 different worst case scenarios! For me, it always helps to stop, be still and listen. Make room for intuition and creativity to come through. After stopping and being still, the next thing is to exercise discernment and discipline. When we exercise discernment, we have to go back to understanding what’s important for us and get clear on the outcome we want. Then we can strip away things that don’t contribute to that end. More
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often than not, you will find that a lot of things just don’t matter, and you can stop doing them! You also need discipline because it’s one thing to identify what can be stripped away, it’s another thing to really do it. We may be afraid that we are not good enough to make that judgment or let go of whatever we need to let go of. We may be afraid that if we don’t do certain things for other people, we will be considered not worthy. We may be afraid that if we don’t perform certain task a certain way, we will get criticized or judged. We may be afraid of missing out if we don’t do certain things. We have to be able to see through our fears, and have the discipline to take the actions that will lead to the desired outcome. Through her unique blend of Business + Marketing coaching with a Mindset + Psychic Twist, Ling Wong helps Maverick Entrepreneurs nail their message, claim their superpowers and muster up the GUTS to monetize their Truth.
Ling B Wong helps her clients translate their vision, purpose and superpowers into practical strategies, compelling offerings and effective communication that sell, through her intuitive yet rigorous iterative process born out of her Harvard Design School training and 10 years of experience in the online marketing industry. Find Ling and download her free “Monetize Your Truth” Mindset + Marketing training bundle at http://business-soulwork.com/gift/
PSYCHOLOGY
Find Your Greatness by Tony Fahkry “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them”
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elen Keller contracted what is believed to have been meningitis or scarlet fever at the age of 19 months and was left permanently deaf and blind. Her parents knew their chances of finding a teacher to work with her were slim, given their remote location in Alabama. Yet this did not deter her mother, Kate Keller from finding a teacher by the name of Anne Sullivan. Anne had overcome her own physical problems to include vision complications which required repeated surgery to correct. Over the coming years Sullivan taught the ten-year-old Keller to read Braille to aid her learning capabilities. It later became evident that Keller was eager to gain knowledge and soon after, graduated magna cum laude from Radcliffe College. Keller became a life-long advocate for the disabled and wrote twelve books, travelling to over 40 countries as a renowned speaker and author. Of the many honours received for her accomplishments, Keller obtained the Presidential Medal of Freedom, known as the highest civilian medal awarded by the President of the United States. In light of Helen Keller’s story, I’d like you to consider your definition of greatness. In their book, The Winner’s Brain by Dr Jeff Brown and Mark Fenske the authors state, “In 1954, psychologist Julian Rotter coined the term locus of control to refer to people’s belief about what causes good and bad things to happen in their lives. An
- WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE -
internal locus of control reflects the belief you are master of your own destiny; an external locus of control reflects just the opposite.” Helen Keller maintained a strong locus of control given her accomplishments and in view of her disabilities. It begs the question: are we born into greatness or does it develop it over time? I affirm that greatness is formed as a result of a nurturing environment. For some, hardship means to recoil in resignation. For others like Keller, it presents the opportunity to overcome restrictions to win through. You are never presented with an experience to the sum of your conditioning. We must venture beyond our harbour of contentment if we wish to discover our genius. Recognise your limitations, but don’t let them define you. Similarly, don’t be deceived by a limited consciousness - expand, expand, expand your mind. In stating the obvious, being unaware of your potential means you’re less inclined to unearth your greatness. Those who know of their potential have an unyielding self-belief to expose themselves to the unknown. Just as a tightrope walker knows death is imminent if he loses balance, he continues to push past the precipice of fear into the unknown. It is there he develops a deep respect for his pursuit, knowing his life can be taken away from him at any moment. Don’t place limitations on what you perceive is possible. Far too many people discount what they’re capable of, given self-imposed
ceilings of limitations. Those same people set lofty goals yet wonder why life is not imbued with passion. Take charge by accepting responsibility for your actions, irrespective of whether circumstances play out in your favour or not. Greatness summons you to venture into the unknown, often without a clear vision. There are no assurances when one yields to greatness. Talent, genius and your impending gifts serve you when you step into your power. Greatness is attained when we follow our passions and build on our successes. As we pursue our dreams, our goals and our desires, we invest in our greatness. “The greatest men and women are not competing against you; they are competing against themselves each and every day. You are your greatest competition,” affirms Dr Stan Beecham in his book Elite Minds. Greatness demands we overcome our inherent shortcomings as we are exposed to that which scares us. Author David Potter states, “We might gain perspective by considering how the Ancient Greeks determined greatness in athletes. Then and now, true greatness is as defined not by a single moment, but by the ability to build a record of extraordinary achievement.” Greatness is attained when we dare to play big and for this reason it is commensurate with humility. The great are humble, knowing their talents, gifts and genius are expressed through them as infinite intelligence. Equally, others suggest greatness extends from the soul. When an
individual cultivates their soul’s gifts, greatness results to express this faculty. Those like Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King Jr. and others understood that to have an emotional impact on people, they had to align with their soul’s calling. It is written into their words and actions. Pursue integrity by aligning with your deepest values. Honour these values to invest in your greatness. Just as connecting with your deepest nature reflects your soul’s quality, integrity is the glue which binds actions to greatness. We are the sum of our actions and in the same way actions express our thoughts, they also reflect our self-worth. You strengthen your self-esteem by elevating your internal locus of control every
time you honour your integrity. Shakespeare proposed three conditions for greatness in the opening quote while the Roman philosopher Seneca suggested adversity commands the path to greatness. Either way, greatness is the journey to overcome our limitations. It was Michelangelo who affirmed, “In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to new away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.” I urge you to unearth your greatness, thus exposing the façade obscuring it. In time, your doubts and
fears will break away revealing your true, strong self. It this self that shall be seen by all. If you enjoyed this article by Tony Fahkry, why not gain access to Tony’s full body of knowledge by getting a copy of his new book ‘The Power to Navigate Life’ The Power to Navigate Life is arguably the most complete and powerful teachings on the mastering of life. The Power to Navigate Life is your opportunity to experience a rewarding life from the very first page. Visit http://www.tonyfahkry. com to get your copy.
Tony Fahkry Founder of The Power to Navigate Life, Tony is one of Australia’s leading authors, and speakers on Mind-Body health. With over 10 years industry experience, Tony believes in an all-encompassing approach to health and well-being, focusing on the benefits of stress and lifestyle management; leading him to become a much sought after holistic lifestyle coach, author and speaker. The regularly published expert in the field of mindbody connection, enjoys focusing on his major teaching principles across the areas of self-awareness, personal growth and health & spiritual guidance. Article Source lll