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Your have just worked eight hours and had a long drive home in horrible traffic, you're exhausted. As you prepare your dinner you ask your child to start his/her homework. A hideous wail comes out of that angelic face and screams, "I don't want to!" In your mind, you know how this is going to play out, after a half hour to an hour of negotiating, you have lost your cool and your child is upset. All of this to get two sheet of homework completed. How can this situation change? First of all, we need consistency in discipline. Preferably this consistency starts when your child is young. Children need boundaries, we as parents are responsible for setting them. When you ask your child to do something or not to do something, it is not an option for them to ignore this request. Choose a discipline that is agreed upon with your spouse or significant other and never make false threats. That is the most common mistake parents make are false threats. If you say they are going to spend a half hour in their room, you better make sure you have nothing on your schedule, but to be able to supervise this punishment. Give your child one warning telling them, if they repeat the behavior, you will discipline them. If they repeat this behavior, then follow through with the discipline. Once your child realizes you are not making false threats, he/she will not push your limits. Children will rebel, disobey and resist you if you are not consistent. If you are struggling with a child that will not follow instructions or disrespects you, you might need to look at your consistency of discipline. If your child is older and you need to start implementing consistency, it will take time. Do not give up; the reward in the end is worth it. It is important to a child to know his/her boundaries. For example, a parent does not want the kids eating in the living room. The next day they may be too busy to say anything and let it go. The child assumes it is now okay, for them to eat in the living room, because you didn't say anything. Then the next time you get angry with them for eating in the living room and you have left them confused. Another example, a parent tells a child they are not to have sweets before dinner. Then one time the child tries to beg and negotiate having a sweet before dinner. The parent finds it cute and funny and gives in just this once. The parent has just given the child permission to negotiate all rules and decisions the parent makes. The child may even be bold enough to try this trick on other adults, whom may not appreciate it. Mixed messages will not help your child out in life. They need to understand consistency with rules and discipline. In the end, you and your child will have a better relationship.
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