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Once baby comes along, all you want to do is be there to hold the little one. The thought of missing even one second of the child's precious moments makes most mothers dread leaving the house. Thus, many moms relinquish secular work outside the home to raise their children. Whether you decide to work from home as well, mothers who stay home have a greater stress load than most realize. Staying home with children does not result in a life of leisure, as some assume. Running a household, managing daily child-related activities, and maintaining sanity are all balls in the air of a very delicate juggling act. If you include managing expenses and trying to start or run a business from home, each adds its own complex dynamic to the mix. The stress of it all begins to weigh heavy. Much is dependent on the stay at home mom and since the mother is home, she feels an even greater responsibility to be validated and prove that she is not merely sitting around watching soap operas all day. The stress builds from both internal and external forces. Inside, moms may suffer from low selfesteem, exhaustion and perhaps feelings of inadequacy from no longer bringing income into the household. Externally, the lack of sleep, poor eating habits and lack of exercise increase the intensity of the pressure. Each situation is unique in many ways, but there are easy ways to relieve "stay at home mom" stress. Here are some proactive tips. 1. Get out of the house more! Sounds cliche, but no man is an island. Part of the stress mothers encounter comes from being fully immersed in motherhood, forgetting and neglecting womanhood and sisterhood. Friendship and socialization is specific to our nature and should never be ignored. Join or start a mom's group. (Not just an online or virtual community, but one that meets in person.) Go to a park, the zoo, a mall or a library. Try to get out of the house with the children each day, weather permitting. Learning social skills early on is important for them too. 2. Don't lose your previous identity. Just because you are a mother-even one that stays homedoesn't mean that you aren't you anymore! Children add things to your life: joy, laughter, diapers, tears, heartache, warmth, love and more. Yet you don't have to stop being yourself entirely to commit to your new role. Perhaps there were a few bad habits you kicked before little Timmy came along, but that's a positive improvement, not a total identity overhaul. If you used to participate in networking events, go out with girlfriends once or twice a month or play in a band, you don't have to give those things up entirely. As long as your child is safely being cared for in your absence, feel free to explore your own interests, being careful to not lose your own essence. Since, eventually, you could end up resenting what should be the best time in your life-your being a mother and a well-rounded individual. 3. Seek balance in all areas of your life. Just because you are home doesn't mean everything in
your life has to be about the house, the kids and the hubby. Take time for you, for you and your mate, for you and your kids, for you and your mother, for you and your best friend, etc. See where I'm going with this? It's okay to enjoy time with others outside the home AND within the home. As long as you seek to enjoy a variety of interests with a support network of close friends and family, you can't go wrong. But by totally focusing on one aspect over another, both guilt and distress will ensue, making you a very unhappy mommy. 4. Stop neglecting your hair and make up! Stay home moms often let themselves go. Since they may not officially have to leave the house, they don't change into outer wear, fix their hair or put on make up. (No offense to those that do, but you know who you are if this tip speaks to you.) Why is that? This type of neglect is actually counterproductive. Maybe for the first several days to a week after the new baby comes home, you can let the grooming go for a bit, but don't give it up all together. Many moms begin to feel depressed and unattractive due to the added baby weight. Don't make it worse. Spruce yourself up a bit each day; regardless if you have somewhere to go outside of the house or not. Think of each day as a new opportunity or adventure. Would you want to greet opportunity looking like you just rolled out of the bed? Didn't think so. Take time in the morning for grooming. It really helps to relieve the stress that is tied to low self-esteem. 5. Get to know the stress in your life. Start journaling about circumstances, dates and times that seem to cause you the most stress. Look for patterns and then get help from a stress management professional. Together, you can review the patterns and put them into perspective to help create a plan to reduce or eliminate the extra stress in your life. Staying home to raise your children during these critical early stages of life is a gift indeed. Don't allow stress to rob you of the joy. Take action to get your stress under control and start truly enjoying this gift, as these moments are precious and rather fleeting.
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