The Torah Times
“It’s What’s Happening!” Parshat Beshalach
ONE SHEKEL
Copyright © 2012 The Torah Times
Exodus a Disaster! ps h To tion a r To uca d E for
Special reporting by Dawson and Avi Ramm
FOOD critic by Miss Lonen Watchamacallit?!
Man oh Man! This watchamacallit (how else to describe this strange stuff) leaves so much to be desired. The nondescript food makes me yearn for the good old days, the fleshpots and zesty tastes of leek, garlic and onion. The stuff goes bad in one day! No shelf life, no saving grace, barely allowing you to live from one day to the next, it gets all rotten and wormy by the next morning. Besides, the delivery is irregular and unreliable. One day you get one portion, the next day you get double, and the next day you get nothing! Weren’t we promised daily delivery? I tried to find something to eat the day after Friday, but there wasn’t a morsel! All gone! This food is for the birds! This spiritual stuff don’t agree with my system. Something’s obviously wrong when it stays in your stomach, and you get no bowel movement. It’s really so boring to keep on eating the same thing over and over again. Manna in the morning, Manna in the evening, Manna at suppertime..."
Marah’s BITTERSWEET TREATED WATER Another Heavenly Product, Unlimited
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HISTORIC COLLECTOR’S ITEM!
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Hashgach
MIdBAr ZIN, IYAr 14The same opposition Members of the Opposition party had also protested, Teluna Party have issued “Are there no graves in numerous complaints and Egypt?” when Israel was at dire warnings of grave food the brink during the red Sea emergencies and serious star- crisis three weeks ago. vation that are threatening “Our leaders are reckless Israel. and irresponsible,” com“This so-called ‘exodus’ is plained Miss Lonen, an going nowhere; Opposition leader. “This it’s a dead end! whole “Exodus” concept Are there no How long can is a major mistake, rungraves in we subsist on ning out in utter haste Egypt? 30-day old leftwithout proper planning over Matzah into this deserted forsakcrackers? You en place. “Instead of just lookcan’t feed huning up to Heaven, we gry people with miraneed leaders who are down cles!” they complained. to earth!”
HP
WOMAN IN THE NEWS:
Miriam Born in a very bitter and oppressive time, sweet little Miriam had worked to save her brethren many years ago, when our Jewish leadership was still in its infancy. Always optimistic, 'Big sister' Miriam was an enduring source of strength, confidence and hope, even when respected communal leaders had predicted gloom and doom. Her sense of Vision and foresight allowed Miriam to offer marital advice to divorced couples; marriage counseling that helped repair many a broken family. Her patient wait-and-see attitude stood by her when things didn't seem to work out as hoped, when her predictions seemed to go down the drain. Her persistence allowed her to eventually see the results of her efforts. A dedicated mother’s helper, Miriam volunteered as a pediatric nurse in the maternity wards, caring for crying children and rocking them to sleep with soothing lullabies. She also served as a consultant/coordinator for adoptive mothers seeking a nurse for their baby. This week, Miriam debuted as a talented composer with a nine word choreographed musical, playing and singing for women audiences. Miriam is not afraid to express herself, regardless of where the chips may fall. To this day, Miriam is responsible for a daily antiLashon Hora shiur for men and women. When Miriam does something, she certainly does it well. A fountain of inspiration, she gushes forth with life wherever she goes, flowing with goodwill. All’s well that ends well.
musical NOTES Grace in Sea Major
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his impromptu performance lacked the usual concert accouterments: no advertisements, acoustics or auditions; no fancy stage or grand curtains; no recitals or rehearsals; no philharmonic orchestra or
virtuoso. No memorizing notes, dexterity of players’ hands or fiddling of the fingers. Yet this spontaneous outpouring became a splashing success! What it lacked in physical equipment, it more than made up in spirit, culminating in a grand finale. Millions attended without Pr or tickets or reservations. Instead of paid performers, the audience joined in, with jubilant melodies sung from the heart. Octwaves rising to a triumphant crescendo, liberation reverberated through young and old in a fervent and ecstatic synchronized chorus, flowing smoothly, all on the same wavelength; joy and elation echoed by wave after wave of thunderous applause engulfing the area. Neatly arranged like alternate courses, each stanza and sentence representing an additional brick, rising higher and higher, forming tall columns of an imposing edifice. Buoyant voices rising in cadence drowned out the opposition, as nature returned to fill the void. The tambourine performance reflected years of preparation and persistent practice, which helped the player stay in tune, ready for that very special moment. Special thanks to "The Birds" ensemble who flew in for the celebration.
JE WIS H WOMEN ’S CIRCLE PRE SE N TS
The Tambourines Join the Miriamathon!
SING ALONG PERFORMANCE
At the Crossings, Waterbury Fruit and Refreshments
I Remember When...
Seaing Is Believing! By Shifcha Seymour As a simple domestic maid, I’m very flattered to share my special view and perspective of the amazing red Sea Crossing. Let’s sea. I'm really not a writer, and I don’t have the spiritual insight, eloquence or prophetic perception of Ezekiel’s divine Chariot, but this was really something out of this world! Billions of pails of water were suddenly mopped up, that we were able to walk right through! If only I could dry my floors so easily! Taking the plunge, crystal clear channels
offered fruits and gushed forth with fresh water drinking fountains! Ecstatic, we broke into a joyous sing-a-long. O my G-d! The divine spirit was actually palpable, you could feel it, l’pail mamash! Sorry, that’s it for now. I must go back to work, mopping up. You can’t always rely on miracles!
NEW RELEASE!
NewWave n
The i
Jewish Music
• Free! • Free! Free! • Free!
FAITHFUL RENDITION
#1 AMONG THE TOP TEN SONGS!
By Miriam Aarons and the Tambourines
Forward: by Nachshon B. Aminadav
Top Flight Accompaniment by "The Birds"
Main Act: "Greatest Aquatic Show on Earth!" • 12 Channels • Presenting: "Moses & The Sons of Israel" in Live Concert • Spectacular Seanic Views • Original Cantorial
Side A
Side B
SHIRA by the Sea
Shirat Devorah
Upbeat Allegro tunes! #1 Top 10 Hit! Free! Divine! Wonderful! Inspired! A rich Experience! Drowns out oppression!
Upbeat, Allegro tunes! #4 of the Top 10!
Presented by: Moshe Rabenu: Solo Children of Israel Choir: Voice Percussion: Miriam High pitched vocals: Birds First visuals: Children Layout and design: Areach/Levana Selections: -Az Yashir- Ashir- Azi- Zeh E-liMi Kamocha - Ad Yavor - Hashem yimloch" Better than Ezekiel" - Maid's Review
Ben Avinoam Presents... Shirat Devorah Songs of Victory! Plus.. Top of Yael! Background: Nachal Kishon Mournful Blues: Aim Sisra Special thanks to Zevulun & Naftali Selections: Uri Uri- Ad Shakamti- Lama Yashavta - Kol M'chazzim - Mini Ephraim - Tzidkas Pirzono - T'vorach minashim - Zeh Sinai -