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Picture Perfect Parent-Teacher Conferences

This is what your parent teacher conferences look like, right? Both mom and dad, present, smiling and super excited to see you, presumably agreeing with everything you say. If the stock image of what the internet says “parent-teacher conference” looks like, and yours are perfect then please continue to the next page. If the image makes you smirk then please use this advice from MEA and NEA members and experts to improve your parent-teacher conferences in the future.

Getting Parents to the Conference

“I offer the students a free assignment coupon if their parent comes to see me. I give the parents the coupon to take home and give to their child. I’ve found that kids will go home and beg their mom or dad to come in, even if it is just to talk to me. The coupon can be used for an assignment that students have not completed, don’t want to complete, or to replace their lowest grade of the quarter with full points. I have many graded assignments so the coupons don’t affect their grades much, but they sure do work hard to get their parents to see me!” Julie Woletz, a business education teacher at Cambridge High School in Cambridge, Wisconsin.

Sharing Success

“I video as many activities as possible. ‘Readers Theaters,’ students reading their written weather reports, news reports about a volcano erupting, poems etc. These are scored for reading fluency, writing, speaking and listening standards. The students view, score themselves on rubrics, and set goals for the next opportunity. The parents really enjoy seeing them at conference time. After the initial embarrassment, the students are proud of their performances. Parents only have words of praise for their child. It is an enjoyable way to conclude a conference.”

Debbie Melvin, SAD 29 EA Flip the Conference

“I did student-led conferences this year and it was SUPER!! During the conference the children talked to their parents about the learning that has taken place thus far in the school year, showed them some of their work, and talked about their goals,” said Rachel Bourgeois, Eastern Aroostook EA. Bourgeois says she changed the dynamic in an effort to support the learning of each child with their parents, showing that education is a collective effort.

Preparing for Angry Parents

Before the conference:

Talk with others who work with the child and find their success in other subjects if they’re not doing well in your class. Jerry Newberry, co-authored NEA Health Information Network's Can We Talk?/ Conversamos? says this may help a parent feel less defensive when you

describe the performance in your class.

Document the child’s problem and your conversations about it. “A lot of kids, if they are not doing well, will hide information from their parents,” says Newberry.” So the parent is missing information. The parent's tendency is to defend the child and assume the teacher is wrong. Then the teacher gets defensive. The solution is concrete evidence.” At the conference:

Start on a positive note.

“Always start the conference with something positive. Try not to make p/t conferences the first time you meet a parent especially if you have concerns,” says Special Education teacher Cyndy Fish, Bangor EA. “I have a Glow and Grow sheet for every kid that parents can take with them. Glow a positive fact or piece of info; grow one area and focus to improve.”

This is your chance to be the teacher who shares something positive to change the mood/tone of the conference to a positive one.

Use 'active' or reflective listening.

“I hear you saying ______. Is that correct?” That's how Diane Postman, an early childhood special education teacher in Gloucester County, Virginia, summarizes this very effective technique, which lets the parent know you're sincerely listening. It also makes sure you understand.

“Often, the angry person is part right and part wrong,” notes Postman. “If you begin by agreeing or acknowledging what they are saying, they will calm down.”

Don't propose your solution first.

If the teacher lays out a plan, there's a good chance the parent will come back with, “We tried those things and they were an utter failure,” says Newberry.

Instead, he advises, ask the parents to explain what's been done in the past and whether it worked. “Often a meeting fails just because the teacher talked first,” he says.