Winter 2019
Main Street
Us
Editor’s Note
Blake Wasson Editor in Chief
This organization has showered me with bliss, belonging and rage. I’m writing this now in a state of total sleep deprivation, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I learned a lot in my two years here at the magazine, and if it’s taught me anything, its that creativity comes from the least suspecting places. Hidden across campus are some of the most artful minds I’ve ever come across - many of which have found their way onto the pages of this magazine. I’m proud to have been apart of this mission, and I believe that if you’re reading this now, you’ll find a place on these pages too. Also, if you know anybody in the biz willing to hire undergrads with no experience, give me a shout.
Madison Forsberg Managing Editor Anna Parisi Digital Editor Chad Ripley Content Editor Jamie Ammon Content Editor Doug Rodoski Contributing Writer Olivia Potenziano Contributing Writer Jacob Gagne Contributing Writer Julia Scorese Contributing Writer Zach Lewis Contributing Writer
-Blake Wasson, Editor in Chief
Mike McGuinness Contributing Writer Caleb Jagoda Contributing Writer Jessie Stelter Contributing Writer Jonathan Brown Contributing Writer Brier Haigh Contributing Artist Mark Torpey Contributing Artist Anthony Gallo Contributing Photographer Niko Kakouris Contributing Photographer
BIG thank you to everyone at UNH Printing Services for all of their help printing this, and every other issue of Main Street. We couldn’t have done it without them, and we have big hearts full of appreciation. As always, with love, from Main Street.
from artist mark torpey
Winter 2019
Main Street
Contents Features: Scope - pg. 6-7
Reviews: Podcast and Music - pg. 4 Music - pg. 5
Photography: The Wall - pg. 20 Peach Pit - pg. 37
Arts, Opinions, and Culture: Aliens - pg. 18-19 Bands - pg. 22-23 Human Trafficking - pg. 28-29 X-Mas Wars - pg. 35-36
—3—
IG: _anthonygallo
Winter 2019
Main Street
the secrets of scope
Olivia Potenziano | Contributing Writer “SCOPE has changed my career path, college experisities. As the members continue to narrow down their ence and life completely,” said Justin Randle, a senior list for the upcoming concert week by week, the team at the University of New Hampshire (UNH). Degives their final list with 3-5 artists on it to their agent. spite having a major in Political Science and a minor Their agent, who remains anonymous, is an alumnus in Business Administration, Randle hopes to have a of SCOPE and has many contacts within the music career in the music industry either making music or industry. Their agent then contacts the artists on their doing event planning for concerts. Randle’s inspiralist, negotiating the date and price, and eventually gets tion for music has risen through SCOPE (Student back to SCOPE with the artist that will be performing Committee Of Popular Entertainment) and all of the that year. opportunities and possibilities it introduced him to. Now that the fall semester is coming to an end and the Randle joined SCOPE as a first semester freshman in spring semester is quickly approaching, the planning the fall of 2015 after seeing the organization’s table at for the final concert of the year has begun. For many U-Day. Entering UNH, Randle had a hard time adjust- members of SCOPE, this will be their final concert. ing to the college atmosphere initially and not knowing many people on campus. He decided to go outside “It would be amazing to hear students say my final concert in SCOPE was one of the best concerts they his comfort zone and interview for SCOPE. have been to,” Randle said.
“I gained 25 new family members who taught me everything I needed to know about UNH.”
With regards to the group itself, Randle added, “I hope that my time in SCOPE will influence the new members to continue with this organization and help make it sustainable for the future.”
“I gained 25 new family members who taught me everything I needed to know about UNH and honestly, life.” SCOPE gave Randle a sense of community and a place he could share his love for music with people that shared his passion and drive. Now, four years later as a member of the publicity department, Randle is preparing for his final concert with SCOPE: the upcoming spring concert. Even though the details on booking artists must remain confidential, Randle spoke vaguely about how the members of SCOPE go about deciding which artists will be in the running for the semester concerts. The members of SCOPE begin planning the concerts over the duration of the summer using GroupMe to discuss possible acts that they could hire. While most of their focus is on the first concert in the fall, there are still deliberations over which artist they may want for the spring. During the school year SCOPE has weekly meetings at 9pm. Depending on how much there needs to be discussed meetings may last until midnight. Each member comes to the meeting with a list of possible artists they believe UNH students would be interested in seeing. The members of SCOPE factor in which artists have a high demand from students, their relevance to the music industry at the time, and if that artist has a respectable history working with univer-
Being in SCOPE has had its challenges, from late hours to stressful nights of planning. Despite all of these, Randle said it has been the most rewarding thing he has been a part of during his time at UNH. He has met artists such as ASAP Ferg, Lil Uzi, Amine, Galantis and Chase Rice, to name a few. According to Randle, there are many things that make all the late nights worth it, but his top favorite are the friends, classmates, or just students coming up to him saying “that was the best night of my life,” or even kids telling him they have met their boyfriend/girlfriend at the concerts. Students at UNH take the release of the concert date and performers very seriously. There are always rumors buzzing around campus about who the possible artist are for the upcoming concert. The most challenging part about being in SCOPE according to Randle is “knowing who the concert is but having to keep it a secret from my friends, roommates and classmates.” He has received threats, blackmail, and even bribery in exchange for telling who the upcoming concert was. “I just get this from my friends as a joke,” Randle clarified, laughing. “It’s all fun and games. People just really want to know who the concert is.” The spring concert has been in the works for months now. Randle’s prediction? “This next show will be spectacular.”
—7—
Winter 2019
The LP, titled “Bambi” released in September of 2018 included the three singles previously released in the summer of 2018, “Bambi,” “Passenger” and “Golden” along with seven other tracks. They deemed their album introspective. And it is. These five dudes opened up and created an album addressing everything from toxic masculinity, to anxiety and depression, and they did it in the best way possible. The title track “Bambi” seems to express the new
“In the past we might have been apprehensive about being super-vulnerable, but now we’re more aware of how important it is to come forward about dealing with depression or anxiety.” sound and honest writing Hippo Campus wanted to achieve with the new album. The prominent lyric, that is repeated twice in the chorus “Serving Myself ” tells the story of Luppen’s battles with mental illness and the effects it has had on his productivity and his relationships. In a recent interview discuss-
Main Street
ing the album with Medium, Luppen touched on the introspective lyrics in the album saying, “In the past we might have been apprehensive about being super-vulnerable, but now we’re more aware of how important it is to come forward about dealing with depression or anxiety.” They just leave it all out there, that’s what I and everyone else loves most about them. The honesty and vulnerability in not only their songs, but also their presentation is unlike any other band I’ve seen. They’re a bunch of goofball kids who love to have fun, and that’s so evident in their shows. They don’t have to say much--their music does the talking. As far as their new sound goes, the band isn’t worried at all. Luppen said in an interview with Billboard discussing the new album’s sound, “It’s never really been about the sound, it’s always been about great songs. And that’s why I think people will understand this record. Because yes, we are experimenting sonically with what we’re doing, but I think the integrity of the songs remains.” The increased use of synth and creative freedom certainly did not stop the album from being kick-ass. Regardless of the new album, one can still expect to see Hippo Campus favorites like, “Suicide Saturday” and “South” at their concerts and “Violet” will forever and always be the encore that brings the night full circle. — 11—
Winter 2019
Main Street
Outside the wire Doug Rodoski | Contributor I wonder what happens when you don’t eat for 48 hours, Matt pondered as he used his cell phone to dial the Bank of Central Florida. He was not expecting his direct deposit yet, however, better to check than assume otherwise and miss out. “Please enter the last four digits of your debit card number,” prompted the recording. Matt did as instructed. “Now please enter your four-digit access code.” While he waited for his balance, Matt surveyed the pedestrian traffic on Orlando’s Orange Blossom Trail, near the intersection of Sand Lake Road. “Your current balance is….minus one dollar and thirty-five cents.” Matt was an Army veteran who had returned from his Iraq deployment two years ago. Unfortunately, he had spent much of what he had saved on his deployment on a new vehicle which he needed and had spent more on rent and food between jobs. His new job at the retail store in Orlando was working out, however, the bad news was the company withheld his first paycheck and he had been there a month, waiting for his first pay to hit this Friday. All good, except here it was at 2 am on Wednesday, and he was stuck for 48 hours. He did not want to trouble his parents for a loan unless he was completely up against it; they had their own bills to worry about. The challenge was to stay safe and eat something and have the energy for work the next two days. It did not help matters that his Jeep was almost out of gas and he was resigned to sleeping in his vehicle in quote safe unquote
parts of the city in the dead of night. Not a palatable endeavor when there was a high crime rate just miles from Disney World and other tourist attractions. OK, he thought to himself. You have to stay positive and be resourceful. If he could just manage hunger pangs until 6 am, when he reported to work, he could ask one of his buddies or the store manager for some meal money. Just four hours to kill now. He drove his Jeep over to Denny’s restaurant and parked around towards the back. His Jeep had fabric doors and plastic windows, so in order to save gas, he had to leave the windows open and not run the air conditioning. As a result, he could doze a little but not really sleep. The weather was not too bad for September at night; he guessed it was about 70 degrees. He reclined back and turned on his radio; thank God for ESPN radio, as it was a welcome distraction under the circumstances. Just over 24 hours, he told himself. The strain of his Army deployments was somehow different from this. He recalled how at one large coalition base in Iraq, there were air-conditioned dining facilities (Chow halls!) where the soldiers could watch TV and get all they could eat. True, the excursions outside the wire had their dangers, but at least he had the camaraderie of his buddies. Matt managed to doze for an hour, and when he woke up there was a vehicle parked right next to him with an elderly couple just staring at him. Like they never were down on their luck before, — 12 —
Matt thought. Resisting the urge to give them the finger, he started up his Jeep and drove over to a large mall parking lot close to where he worked. He found a spot not far from the streetlights and pulled over. On ESPN radio, the host was talking about obsessive coaches in college sports and it was very interesting. Matt was a big sports fan, and these late night sports shows, which often featured fan call-ins. were fun to listen to and reminded him of games and players he had seen and rooted for in his past. Matt dozed off again as he reflected on how letting his mind wander kind of took the hassle out of his situation. He visualized what he would like to buy and eat the minute he had some money; a Grand Slam breakfast at Denny’s came in to view in his mind’s eye. Matt was awakened an hour later by a blazing white light shining into his eyes. Startled he jumped upright and yelled, and heard the voice of authority yell something back at him. It was the Orange County Sheriff ’s Department, stopping to check him out. The deputy asked for his license and registration, and Matt was careful to ask for permission to reach into his glove box. He presented both to the deputy, who told him to stay where he was and walked back to his cruiser. Matt adjusted the sun visor so the harsh white light was not directly in his eyes, and waited. OK, Matt thought. This really sucks; on my deployments I supervised soldiers, was trusted with thousands of dollars’ worth
Winter 2019
of weapons and equipment, and I was the voice of authority. Now somehow everything is reversed. The irony of it all was that in Iraq, Matt felt the security and support of all of the soldiers in his unit, while the threat from insurgents was external. Back in the states now, he was technically home, yet felt threatened on several levels. The deputy returned and asked what he was doing hanging out in the parking lot at 4 am. Matt explained his financial situation and pointed out where he worked, just visible at the other end of the parking area. The deputy was cordial and suggested that he park closer to his workplace. Taking back his license and registration, Matt thanked the deputy and was surprised when he was told, “And thanks for your service.” The deputy must have noticed Matt’s veteran status when he made the check of his license and vehicle. Or perhaps he recognized qualities in Matt, perhaps not visible to ordinary bystanders, identifying him as a member of the military. He parked on the back row of his store’s parking lot and checked the time; it was 4:30 am. It would be an hour and a half before the store manager would arrive to open up the store. He decided that now would be a good time to freshen up, so he went behind his vehicle and changed clothes and cleaned up the best he could. Back in his vehicle now, he listened to more sports radio and was annoyed when a pickup truck with two scruffy looking dudes pulled up directly in front of his Jeep and got out. Oh boy, Matt thought, what the hell is this going to be. The one guy was unshaven and wore jeans and construction boots, and an old
Orlando Magic basketball jersey. He started to approach Matt in his Jeep as the other man guy got out of the pickup. “Are you all set?” the first guy asked as he approached. Matt didn’t bother to answer, just started up his Jeep and started to pull away like he had someplace to go. Determined not to act like a coward for these guys he took his time driving away. Matt went around the block twice and parked in the same spot near his store. The guys were gone, and it was now 5 am. There was a welcome line of light along the horizon and just an hour before work. Matt drank from the gallon of distilled water he had from yesterday and dialed his bank again just in case. “Your balance is… negative one dollar and thirty-five cents.” Matt was comforted that within 24 hours things would be better. The store manager was named Robert, and he was not very helpful when Matt asked to borrow a few bucks until payday. Robert said he had no cash on him. Matt would have to check with Rick and Dave, who would arrive at work in a couple of hours to help Matt unload the weekly truck. At the daily store meeting right before the store opened, Robert went over the game plan for that day. Matt wondered if his fellow employees could hear the hunger pangs in his stomach. It did not help matters that Robert was in rare form today, pushing the crew to get more done. “Our sales were down last week,” he orated from his pedestal. “If any of you don’t want to be here than let me know.” Matt bit his tongue so hard he tasted blood; such was the price of anger management. If he could — 13 —
Main Street
only relate to this clown how hard things for him were at the moment. Of course he wanted to be here, he was jumping through hoops to show up on time. Matt kept his mind on tomorrow’s paycheck and went to work straightening shelves and helping customers. When Rick and Dave arrived, they were able to spot him a couple of bucks, good enough for two Snickers bars which would carry him into the afternoon. Also, he enjoyed talking about sports with these two, they all were excited that hockey was getting underway. Rick, Dave and Matt all came from the northeast and loved the sport. When 4 pm rolled around, he clocked out for the day. Matt realized he probably only had to slide by for a few more hours, and then it would be both a payday and a day off to get his situation organized. He walked over to his Jeep and started it up. The gas gauge needle read “Empty”, however, he knew there was an emergency reserve feature that gave him a little more. He drove a block over to the big shopping mall and parked. He was feeling a little lightheaded and knew he had to be careful, driving and interacting with others until he ate and rested and felt like himself again. With the windows down on his vehicle, it was not at all unpleasant. He grinned as he remembered a remark made by Colin Cowherd on his sarcastic and enjoyable sports radio show. Colin spoke of how he was always leery of buying a home for his family which was located near a large parking area or a public park. He would be concerned when, during the middle of a weekday,
Winter 2019
random guys would park their cars, roll down the windows, and sit for hours. Colin joked that anyone passing their time like that during business hours was either running from the law or their own personal demons. Matt smiled good-naturedly as he remembered this, and decided to take a walk around. The big indoor mall. He walked to the big Food Court and had a bright idea; he had no money for food, however, there were employees of the different mall food counters who walked around with trays of free samples. Matt approached one of these, and had a couple of small meat and cheese snacks from a fast food place; he made polite chatter with the girl and moved on. He went to a nearby water fountain which worked just fine and it was very refreshing. Matt was careful not to loiter as the mall security were zipping around on their motorized scooters, and they had given them critical looks the day before. These guys did not intimidate him, but he did not need a confrontation to add to his other hassles. Matt circled the mall and browsed the bookstore. The sports section had a great new college basketball book by John Feinstein, one of his favorite writers. Matt flipped through it and made a mental note to come back for it when he had money. He noticed his legs cramping up now; this he credited to not eating enough the last two days, and he headed back to the Food Court. It was after 5 pm, and he stepped out of the pedestrian flow to call the Bank of Central Florida again. There was a chance that his direct deposit would have hit at the end of the business day. “Your current balance is…neg-
ative one dollar and thirty-five cents.” Leg cramps indicated a need for potassium, and to Matt’s surprise, he found a restaurant employee holding a sample tray of chocolate and banana treats. Matt indulged and got a drink of water afterward. Resourceful. OK, maybe my pay will hit at 2 am, seeing how the store was pay rolled from a bank in the Midwest. That meant that Matt had about 8 hours to kill. He went back to his Jeep and moved it to a less populated part of the large parking area. Surprisingly he was able to sleep in the cool evening as the sun faded, and he was out for about three hours. He listened to ESPN radio in the background. He woke up with a start as he noticed a van parked right next to him. There was a logo for a carpet cleaning company on the side of it; the uniformed technician was in the driver’s seat and staring at him. Matt started up the Jeep and drove off. He was getting annoyed with people. Realizing he was almost out of gas soon, he remembered that Acme Cinemas had one dollar movies on Thursday nights. They were second run movies but were sometimes very good. The theaters were a short distance across town, but he decided to take the chance. He parked in the theater parking and rummaged around in the seat cushions; to his relief, he found enough change for the discount movie. He went in and caught the replay of the latest James Bond movie, and enjoyed himself entirely. Leaving the theater, it was 11 pm. — 14 —
Main Street
He decided to drive back to the vicinity of his workplace; his reasoning being that if he were stranded or if there was some other emergency, his store opened at 5 pm. A source of help. He parked his Jeep in the mall parking area in view of his store. It was 11:30 pm, and he felt well enough to just sit and stay awake for a couple of hours. At midnight, an Orange County Sherriff ’s deputy, different than last night, stopped to check him out again. Matt explained his situation, and the cop moved on. Now it was 1 am. Matt was feeling restless and decided to walk around some. He made sure to lock his vehicle and went over to the intersection of Sand Lake Rd. and Orange Blossom Trail. He was still feeling the effects of the leg cramps and walked awkwardly. He turned left on to Orange Blossom and faced a scruffy looking middle-aged man approaching him from the other direction. “How you doin?” the guy asked. “OK”, Matt said and kept walking. The strain of the last few days must have been showing on his face, because the man reached out and grabbed his arm and demanded, “Hey man, you don’t have to be unfriendly, man.”
Want to know what happens next? Read more online @ mainstmag.com
Winter 2019
Main Street
Behind all the likes and comments Julia Scorese | Contributing Writer
It’s no surprise that anxiety is on the rise in the United States. According to observers and research, anxiety is on the verge of affecting our society like an epidemic. Anxiety seems to hide in our minds and slip to the surface only when we least expect it. Anxiety finds a way to push beyond rational fear, by redefining our internal conflict into exaggerated, demoralizing threats to our being. Stated by Medical News Today, and the American Psychiatric Association, millennials are the most anxious generation;
or work affiliated reasons. Within a matter of time, these devices grew to shape our lives around the use of social media and networks. As the pressure to keep up with technology increased, the stress followed suit as well. It never seems to end. Along with these reports, it’s shown that with time and techno-
“millenials are the most anxious generation; anxiety levels have also risen 5% from 2017-2018” logical advances, the United States is experiencing the greatest increase in anxiety. Yeah, we may deny the fact we’re addicted, but you have to admit to yourself: there’s definitely something that pushes you to check your phone on a consistent basis. Mentally, cell phone use and social media platforms serve as a rewarding pleasure to consumers, but why does this cause anxiety? It’s a lot more than just satisfaction. Notifications trigger receptors that create a dopamine rush, directly giving us the urge to check our phones as a habit. It subconsciously feels great, but little do we pay attention to the damage it’s causing. Cell phone addiction ultimately worsens symptoms of depression and anxiety. With technology advances on the rise, the anxiety that comes with it is inevitable.
How often do you go to pick up your phone in an awkward or uncomfortable situation? This is what’s called escapism. Since our phones become a habit to check, we jump to that relief tool, before letting ourselves step outside our comfort zone. The scary thing is, we don’t even realize. Do you pick up your phone every time you’re bored? We all do. Constantanxiety levels have also risen 5% from 2017 to 2018. ly checking for updates and scrolling through social “Work reporting anxiety and depression have risen by nearly a third in the last 4 years.” Although there’s media allows us an effortless way to escape from no definitive answer to the rise of anxiety, there’s one reality. steadily rising factor that may be able to validate it This sense of gratification is highly found through all, technology and cell phone use. the use of apps, but of course, there’s a downside and Through studies dating back to when cell phones were first introduced, they were said to have no purpose or ability to grow beyond simple phone calls
— 15 —
negativity we are well aware of. We can’t resist the urge to say no when it comes to checking our feeds several times a day. It might be cool to document
Winter 2019
your plans and see what everyone’s doing, but this luxury can feel demoralizing as well. That “like” button can be dangerous, and it’s on every social media platform. After posting an Instagram, do you check for notifications? This goes back to the dopamine rush we feel in the midst of receiving positive feedback through media. It also sets a self-expectation. When making a post, we subconsciously anticipate the number of likes or comments we’ll receive based off previous post trends. When those standards aren’t met it can feel depressing for users. According to youngpost, Psychologist Dr. Christian Chan says, “We feel good
“People work to enhance and upload an “image” of themselves online, putting a positive filter on everything...”
Main Street
The answers to everything are right at our fingertips due to the endless possibilities technology’s grown to provide us. This convenience gives us a solution to all extends, to the point we couldn’t imagine a life without it. We can’t remember the last time we made plans without our cell phones, drove from point A to point B, or even watched the news. Technology’s found a way to diminish the need for routine self-sufficiency and independence. On top of the chemically proven addiction that ties us to our cell phones, we have a need for it too. Having that consistent accessibility makes it hard for us to spend a sheer hour without it, even if we don’t need it. We feel anxious when our battery gets low for that reason. Research has found that younger generations, including millennials, show anxiety through rapid heart rate and stress when being separated from technology.
when we get many likes, but we can get discouraged when we don’t – especially if we interpret the likes as an indicator of approval and our worth.” Self-esteem in teenagers and now older generations is distorted through media and the feeling of exclusion from being on the outside looking in, just from a device. Fomo - fear of missing out, is a new term that’s been introduced in the past few years to describe our hypersensitivity of exclusion in relation to others posts. If we aren’t included, naturally we feel lonely but when we are, it’s simply a struggle to stay in the loop. This pushes us to make social comparisons based on what we see when in reality, it’s just a perfect illusion. When self-esteem is low, it can seem like everyone’s a whole lot happier than you. Chan says, “... the perceptions you have of other people simply aren’t true. People work to enhance and uphold an “image” of themselves online, putting a positive filter on everything they post.” Bullying, harassment or confrontation is now a 24/7 thing with technology. It’s much easier to vocalize yourself behind a device. According to youngpost, “When you’re writing and posting things, there’s a phenomenon in which you don’t have the same filter you might when talking on the phone or in person. I think that lends itself to more abrasive statements,” said Rian Rowles, chairman of psychiatric services at Advocate Christ Medical Centre in the state of Illinois. — 16 —
Winter 2019
Main Street
Legends of the Granite state Mike McGuinness | Contributing Writer Whether you’ve lived in New Hampshire your whole life, or just the past four years studying at UNH, it’s impossible not to find something to love in the beautiful state. From historic seaports and rock-lined beaches, to the towering peaks of Mt. Washington, New Hampshire is a state that welcomes exploration. The most interesting thing about the Granite State, however, are the stories and destinations that you can’t find in a travel book at a rest stop. New Hampshire has been inhabited for 12,000 years, dating back to groups of prehistoric Native Americans who migrated through the state seasonally. Over time, its easy to forget the stories that have been passed along for years – stories that are deeply rooted in the strange. These are the stories that have been passed down hundreds of years, dark and twisted tales that have always kept New Hampshire natives on their toes.
The Wood Devils If you sit around talking to some of the older folks up in Coos County long enough, you might learn a thing or two about what goes on in the woods and mountains that run along the border of New Hampshire and Canada. In the dense and massive wilderness of the northwestern part of the state, stories of what locals call the Wood Devils have been told for many years. Tales tell of a gray, Bigfoot-like monster. Locals in the area have spotted these tall creatures many times, yet an encounter with a Wood Devil is never violent.
The creatures are said to have a very unique way of interacting with humans, mostly hiding when they do come in contact with a curious onlooker. It is said that the Wood Devils utilize their gray and slender appearance to blend into the trees that make up the forest. They choose to hide behind narrow trunks if spotted by a person, rather than attack. Yet the image of a giant monster peering around a tree at you is one that will surely send you in the other direction. Wood Devils are also known for their piercing scream and their strange faces, which are said to bear no humanoid resemblance.
The Devil Monkeys When it comes to discussing strange creatures in the woods, New Hampshire is lucky enough to have two species of monster. In Danville, for years there have been sightings and discussion of what the locals call the Devil Monkeys. The Devil Monkeys are said to be unique creatures, with a strong resemblance to baboons. They are described as being up to eight feet tall with large feet, a large hairy body and a dog-like face. Even scarier is that the Devil Monkeys are said to be malicious. It is said that these monstrous creatures allegedly attack with ferocity, using their great speed to leap and attack pets and livestock with their razor-sharp teeth. What makes the myth of the Devil Monkey in Danville so interesting however is that the legend did not become prevalent until 2001, when over the course of two weeks nine sightings were documented--even the town’s Fire Chief claimed to have seen the — 17 —
beast with his own two eyes.
Mystery Hill If you’ve been itching to visit Stonehenge, then I have some good news for you: there’s one over in Salem, NH, dubbed “America’s Stonehenge.” It was created approximately 4,000 years ago by unknown architects. Much like its more famous counterpart, Mystery Hill’s Stonehenge was also built by ancient people well versed in the stars and astronomy. With stones uniquely stacked and placed around in specific locations, it has been said that Mystery Hill is meant to serve as an astronomical calendar. Although the site does not share a striking resemblance with the more famous Stonehenge, it has its own interesting aspects. The structure of Mystery Hill is elusive, and no one can be sure of the direct origins or purpose of the arrangement. It is clear thaprimitive forms of mining have occurred, with evident usage of ancient stone on stone tools to remove rock from the depths of the structures. Even more fascinating are the rumors of hidden areas of Mystery Hill. Ancient writing and scriptures painted on the walls hold secrets in their archaic languages. What makes it all so alluring is that it is exactly what the name suggests: a mystery. Like its more famous counterpart, its origins and purpose are unknown. Still, its ability to take over the imagination of those who dare to visit is endless.
Winter 2019
Main Street
I want to Believe Blake Wasson | Editor in Chief
The sky fades from cobalt to black. Stars, billions of them, begin to flicker into the distant atmosphere as the air stagnates. The stillness of the night devours your deliberations. Your transcendence is cut short - a hum drones on just behind the tree line. Body stiff, your eyes dart across the horizon, waiting for the vibration to present itself. That’s when you see it. A beam begins to ignite, flickering in and out of vision. The humming pulsates louder and louder as the beams float overhead. Like yourself, the lights flying over are rigid, following a distinct path. Peering, neck bent at a 135-degree angle, you attempt to make out the shapes and flickering lights. Before you know it, it’s gone. “Just a plane,” they tell you. “Aliens are not real,” they explain. Over two billion people across the globe credit the existence of man-kind to the Almighty. Over a billion believe in the universal soul of Brahman, which takes many forms to explain the existence of eternal life. In the ancient religious movement inspired by Manichaeism, Gnostics believe in salvation through knowledge, brought on by the nature of God in a transcendent world. The list goes on. Modern cultures deem religious folk as believers. Yet, those who take a moment to con-
sider the reality of extraterrestrial beings are branded as conspirators. Why is it so hard to believe? Let’s start with what we know. March 1st, 1639 – Born into a wealthy, English Puritan family, John Winthrop grew up to become the governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony. Known for developing much of colonial New England, Winthrop is also noted for the first ever UFO sighting. “When it stood still, it flamed up, and was about three yards square. When it ran, it was contracted into the figure of a swine,” Winthrop wrote in his journal. For the next three hours, Winthrop and two other Puritans watched as the lights flared in night sky, bouncing erratically with no explanation. When the lights faded away, the three sailors found themselves a mile upstream, against the current, with no recollection. Over two centuries behind, planes were not a valid excuse. September 19th, 1961 – It was late Tuesday night. Barreling down the dark and dusty roads of Lancaster, New Hampshire, Portsmouth residents Barney and Betty Hill soon found themselves in hot pursuit with bright lights in the sky. Navigating Route 3, Betty described the encounter as if there were — 18 —
falling stars, which seemingly fell upward. Barney’s account explains that the lights bounced back and forth in the night sky, and through his binoculars, witnessed nearly ten humanoid figures gazing back at him. The next thing they remembered, the two of them were sitting in their ’57 Chevy Bel Air, 35 miles south, without any recollection of the events that had occurred that night. The only thing left besides their vague memories were the rips and tears in their clothing. The surprising nature of this case sparked national interest, leading to the widely popular 1966 publication, Interrupted Journey, and the 1975 film, The UFO Incident. September 3rd, 1965 – The events that occurred on the afternoon of September 3rd resulted in what’s considered to be the most compelling case of extraterrestrial contact to date. 18-year-old Exeter resident, Norman Muscarello, was hitchhiking on Highway 150 when around 2 am, he noticed five lights radiating from the nearby woods. When the lights began to move in his direction, he bolted. Clearly shaken up, Muscarello flagged down a passing car and was driven straight to the Exeter police station to file a report. After speaking with officers Reginald Toland and Eugene Bertrand, they were shocked to learn that
Winter 2019
earlier that night, the two officers were on patrol and discovered a woman parked on the side of Route 108, claiming she too had witnessed red, flashing lights which followed her vehicle for over ten miles. Fueled by curiosity, the two officers decided to check out the scene. After parking their cruiser by the farmhouse where Muscarello had seen the lights, the two officers witnessed a dark shadow cast from the woods, ascending up into the sky, illuminating with red lights. In no time, the barn-sized object flew overhead and beyond the horizon. Within minutes, a B-47 bomber from Pease Air Force Base flew overhead.
Betty and Barney Hill’s chilling drive was the first ever abductee story of its time, and the incidents that occurred in Exeter on that cold, Friday night were the first time that indistinguishable sightings were reported across the map. One things for sure – New Hampshire is undeniably an extraterrestrial hotspot.
Each of these individual cases, which took place decades apart, shook the world for one simple reason: it was the first of its kind. John Winthrop’s sighting was the first ever recording of an unidentified flying object.
Besides disbelief, judgment and public criticism, the one thing that each sighting has in common is the speedy justification. Locals, law enforcement, the government, your mother and father; each and every one has, what they believe to be, a rationalized explanation. Yet they still pile in their vehicles on Sunday mornings and worship Divinity. They sport gold and silver necklaces, shrouded with large or small crosses. It’s easy not to believe. The idea of extraterrestrials is undeniably a difficult concept to grasp. As FBI Special Agent Fox Mulder explains, “When convention and science offer us no answers, might we not finally turn
“Those who take a moment to consider the reality of extraterrestrial beings are branded as conspirators.”
— 19 —
Main Street
to the fantastic as a plausibility?” The mere idea of aliens has fueled Hollywood for generations, endlessly pumping out blockbuster hits depicting little green men at war with society, the government or their own kind. Taking many forms, aliens have gone through endless transformations on screen, dominating human society with their physics-defying technology, scandalous intelligence and epic journeys throughout time and space. Don’t get me wrong, Spielberg’s E.T. and Close
Encounters of the Third Kind
hold a special place in my heart, but the stereotypical depiction of elongated heads and gray-skinned humanoids may simply be a cliché. For all we know, extraterrestrials could have stereo vision, opposable thumbs and simple, common language. They could be walking among us, for all we know it. That’s just it: we don’t know. That’s half the fun. If we only knew what lie just beyond our atmosphere, the stories would stop. The idea of something greater, something far beyond our reach would vanish. Our movies would halt, our imagination would subside and the idea of aliens would end up in history books. We would stop wondering, we would stop admiring, and worst of all, we would stop believing. And one things for sure, I want to believe.
Winter 2019
Main Street
Funky Band Names Anna Parisi | Digital Editor
A
Abracadver Afraid of Figs Armed and Hammered Amish Meth Lab
B
Band Geeks Butthole Surfers Burger Pimp
C
Crispy Ambulence Creamy Electric Santa A Cat Born in an Oven isn’t A Cake
D
The Druids of Stonehedge Dogs That Know They’re Dogs Daylo
E
Epileptic Disco Elizabeth Taylor’s Husbands Evil Gazebo
F
Feral Nanna Freud Chicken
G
O
Ghandi’s Lunchbox
Once I Killed A Gopher With A Stick
H
P
Henry Kissinger’s Tits Hobo Johnson & The Lovemakers
Paisley Brain Cells Pee Shy Pelvis Aquarium Playdough Fish
I
Q
The Inflatable Boy Clams
J
QuarteRoy
R
Jurassic Shark Joan of Arkansas
K
Rhymes With Orange
S
Kid With Man Head
L
Spendtime Palace Smilin’ Hams The String Cheese Incident Sharon Stoned Skankin’ Pickle
Lucifer Loves Tarantino
M
Microwaveable Tree Frogs Mussolini Headkick
N
Noseholes Naked David Hasselhoff Nervous Christians Not with My Camel
T
The Tortillas You Wanted Technosquid Eats Parliament
— 22 —
U
UltraBabyFat
V
Vulfpeck Vermin Suicides
W
We Are Going to Eat You Werewolf Jerusalem
X
Y
Xit Wounds
Yolanda Be Cool Yeasayer Your Alibi
Z
Zig Zags Zombie Cookbook
Winter 2019
Main Street
What’s Your Band Name? First Initial
Birthday
A: Argyle B: Bearded C: Carnivorous D: Decorative E: Electric F: Freckled G: Generic H: Hellish I: Icky J: Jacked K: Kooky L: Lazy M: Mellow N: Nonexistent O: Orphan P: Playful Q: Quintessential R: Random S: Soggy T: Taboo U: Urban V: Vacant W: Waxy X: X-rated Y: Yacking Z: Zen
1: Tangerine 2: Napkin 3: Sweatshop 4: Poncho 5: Tourist 6: Melons 7: Baboon 8: Dinosaur 9: Fish 10: Pistachio 11: Salad 12: Elbow 13: Pudding 14: Catharsis 15: Cereal 16: Disco 17: Vegans 18: Waitress 19: Noodle 20: Clowns 21: Bastard 22: Beach 23: Lamp 24: Hitchhiker 25: Gentlemen 26: Taxi 27: Cavalry 28: Flapjacks 29: Hotel 30: Bowling 31: Bellboy
Your Band Name:
— 23 —
Winter 2019
Tip
s on how to treat
Main Street
Your Bartender
Madison Forsberg | Managing Editor On any given Tuesday, Thursday or Saturday night here in Durham, every student over the legal drinking age knows that it’s bar night. For most, this means getting ready by adorning oneself in some of their best clothing, cracking a beer, uncorking a bottle of wine, or taking shots to pregame the kickass night ahead. Once ready, you head down at Libby’s, Scorp’s or the Knot to share a few drinks and laughs with other people your age who want nothing more than to blow off steam from the stressful week in a sweaty basement accompanied by booze.
Naturally, everyone is a fantastic customer, but once alcohol gets into the mix, plus the stereotype of this young college demographic consistently being broke, there are a few things that bartenders tend not to appreciate.
For others, this means come 4 p.m. they put on a uniform or work clothes, eat some filling dinner and walk down to those same three locations, but not with the goal of drinking until double vision. Instead, they’re gearing up for a hard, long night of serving drinks.
Drinking out is no doubt expensive, even on dollar drink nights the bar tab can add up. No one wants to go out and dump $50 at Libby’s just on rum and coke’s, but the cheaper option is always to drink at home. Bartenders and servers do not get paid much of an hourly wage, in fact the majority of their income all comes from tips. Without a tip, they are stuck to making their between $3.50-$5.50 an hour wage and after six straight hours of service, no one wants to go home with a mere $30. You don’t need to tip too much, but a $1 tip on your drink order is more than appreciated by the people behind the counter.
Bartenders— everyone’s best friend, access to alcohol and the hardest working people standing in those bars three to five nights a week on the sticky floors covered in spilled spirits. Everyone knows that bartending is indeed a very fun job, and can at times be a career path people choose just out of love for the spirits industry. The mixologists who give up their normal drinking hours in order to provide a good time for the 9-5ers. But, is it always such a fun job here in the tiny college town of Durham? The answer: no. The reason: the Durham bars are not normal, every day town bars. They’re not the bars in New York, Boston or even the bars in the tiny towns where your parents reside. Instead, they are college bars and their main customer demographic are people of a very specific 21-24 age range.
Fear not, however, from one bartender and avid drinker to the next here are a few tips to take into consideration the next time your crew congregates downtown to crush a few and dance until your heels hurt.
1. TIP YOUR BARTENDER
2. WAIT YOUR TURN Of course, everyone is excited to get their drinks once they walk up to the elevated bar top. Ideally, you want to spend as little time at the counter as possible and the maximum amount of time dancing and drinking. The bartenders want this for you too, it is their job to serve you and most of them aim to do this as quickly and as efficiently as possible, but when there’s twenty college kids at their bar top it can be a bit overwhelming. They know who was there first and who hasn’t been served yet, and waving, snapping or yelling won’t make them want to get to you any sooner.
3. DON’T HIT ON YOUR BARTENDER WHILE THEY’RE WORKING We’ve all been there, you go up to order a drink and realize the person serving you is a bit better looking than average. This leads to the impulse to try to get their attention or express your feelings to them as soon as possible, but while they’re working isn’t the best time. No one’s saying that you two won’t eventually get to talking and fall in love in your fairytale bar based romance, but trying to hold their attention for a conversation or gassed up pick up line can often come off creepy and annoying. They’re busy doing their job and most likely won’t have — 24 —
Winter 2019
time to express interest back. Sure, leave your number on your tab or on the bar, maybe try to catch them once they get off shift and have a moment to sit down, but holding the line up to tell them you can’t believe how lucky you are that they fell down from heaven just to make your vodka soda tonight probably won’t get you far into your romantic fantasy.
Main Street
over serving can include more than just losing their job, it can also mean hefty fine’s and depending on the severity (someone dies, or the person served is underage) it can include jail time. They’re not trying to tell you that you can’t handle your twelfth tequila shot and they certainly aren’t looking for you to prove to them that you can, what they’re trying to tell you is that they’re being conscious of their responsibility as a bartender. If you really want that twelfth shot, rendezvous with your friends at your apartment where you can keep the drinking and the party going long past last call.
5. BE AWARE OF YOUR TAB
4. IF THEY CUT YOU OFF, IT’S FOR A REASON No one likes being told how much they can drink, especially when you’re out trying to have a good time with your friends, but your bartender isn’t trying to ruin your night. They’re actually trying to prevent you from ruining theirs. Bartenders are responsible for the amount of alcohol their establishment serves you. If you leave, and god forbid get into an accident or an alcohol induced fight where you can potentially harm yourself and others, then guess who’s responsible? They are. Despite what most people like to think, there is a limit to how much alcohol one person can consume, and it’s an even smaller legal amount when you are drinking in someone’s bar/restaurant/event, wherever. Not only do they not want to clean your up-chuck off of their bar top or their floor, but they don’t want to lose their job or the liquor license for their place of work. Consequences for — 25 —
Be aware of how much you’re spending. Not everyone opens a tab when going to the bars, some people prefer to deal in cash or prefer to keep their cards on them, but if you’re going to be making multiple trips up to grab a drink and don’t want to worry about losing your card, it’s pretty easy just to ask your bartender to keep a tab of your drinks open throughout the night. This, however, can also cause problems for both you and your local bartender. For one, it’s easy to spend money when you’re not handling it, it creates this illusion that you’re not really paying for the drinks you’re buying, instead you just put all your drinks onto this imaginary list and at the end of the night it will be fine. Until you realize your friend has also been using your tab and now that $20 you thought you spent turns into $55 and you’re left confused and a bit angry as to how you could possibly owe this much money. And everyone knows that simply telling your bartender you won’t pay the $55 works seamlessly to get you out of your bill, right? Wrong. Somehow, in some way you did spend the money, either by buying others drinks or simply going a bit overboard yourself, and you can of course ask your friends to pay you back, but first you need to pay the bar. Tabs are also tricky because once that liquor hits you in a place of sloppiness, it’s easy to forget to go pay your bill and retrieve your card. No one at the bar, not the bartenders or the bouncers want to chase you down after walking out on your bill, but don’t worry, they’ll hold onto it for you! Instead, you will have a true walk of shame the next day come opening time when you have to sheepishly go retrieve your debit card, pay your bill and usually the added on fine most bars implement for tabs that are left behind at the end of the night. Not only does this screw up your next day, but it will cost you more money and it also messes up the bartenders tip system. Bar nights are fun, and are often an occasion many people look forward to throughout their week. You get to go out, binge drink without judgement, show off your killer Michael Jackson Thriller dance moves and sometimes, if you’re lucky, meet someone who’s kind of cute. But it’s easy to forget that in order for your night of rocking memories to go on smoothly, other people are there at the bar trying to make their living by getting you drunk.
Winter 2019
LIBBy’s name: brad age: 22 hobbies: dilly, dilly hangin’ with my brothers drink of choice: natty’s brah relationship status: dtf
Scorps name: ashley age: 22 and one month hobbies: flirting with sammy at campco drink of choice: voda soda, duh relationship status: it’s complicated :(
— 26 —
Main Street
Winter 2019
Main Street
Stone ChurcH name: billie age: 23 hobbies: foraging for mushrooms and vlogging about it drink of choice: sip of sunshine relationship status: polyamorous
The Knot name: allen age: 26 hobbies: wittling drink of choice: whiskey realtionship status: married, no ring tho illustrations by brier haigh — 27 —
Winter 2019
Main Street
Granite State Trafficking Jessie Stelter | Contributing Writer
“You’d be surprised how little people at the university, or in general, don’t have any idea what human trafficking even is. It’s scary to me. It’s a billion-dollar industry and it can happen to literally anyone,” said Alison Eagan, a Freedom Café volunteer and UNH student. Eagan heard about the café through word of mouth --a café off the beaten path of the UNH campus, known for its relaxed and sociable atmosphere. However, it wasn’t until she went there that she became aware of its mission: to end human trafficking. Human trafficking is a “compelled service usually through force, fraud or coercion,” according to Stephanie Halter, a criminal justice professor at Plymouth University. Halter is a member of the NH Human Trafficking Collaborative Task Force, which is a social services agency dedicated to creating resources for trafficking victims. Human trafficking is another term for modern-day slavery. It can take many forms, but generally manifests in the exploitation of people by forcing them into labor, or the sex industry, Halter explains. The Freedom Café is an all-encompassing hub for raising money and developing programs that address multiple areas of the human trafficking issue to help tackle the problem in NH, as well as nationally and internationally. Every few months they contribute to a particular
grant or program that focuses on some aspect of human trafficking, whether it be raising public awareness, prevention education, aftercare services for survivors, law enforcement/rescuing, or legislative work that strives to improve the public policies surrounding the issue. Last month, the café put its funds toward the United Nations Gift Project, a traveling display of people’s survival stories brought to different universities in the area. The café was started by Bryan Bessette, who is now the president and executive director of the café and its movement. The idea started with a trip to Nepal where Bryan worked within school systems where students had just recently come out of a life of bonded slavery. When Bessette returned to Durham NH, he thought about the idea of opening up a nonprofit café that could raise money for the types of tragic cases he’d seen in Nepal. Soon after his arrival back home, news broke that there was a case of labor trafficking that occurred within the construction process while the Cottages were being built. “The news hit me like ‘wow.’ The closeness, the broadness, the lack of funding and awareness made me realize there is an urgent need and we need to be a part of doing something about it. It really is everywhere--it was on our campus. This is urgent, I needed to create a platform to continue to build consistent engagement,” said Bessette.
—28 —
Winter 2019
Both labor and sex trafficking exist here. Trafficking in New Hampshire is typically seen in more populated areas of the state. Manchester, Concord, Portsmouth, Exeter, Dover, and Rochester are places in which multiple cases of human trafficking have been discovered just within the last year, reported Halter. Given that anti-trafficking efforts are relatively new, this is just the beginning of uncovering these sorts of cases, she said. Traffickers’ process of coercion usually entails targeting vulnerable people, such as homeless youth. They may be runaways from New Hampshire or young people from other states who are being trafficked into New Hampshire. Individuals living in poverty and those in low wage service sector jobs are also a vulnerable population that traffickers target. People with addictions who are dependent on drugs, a population becoming ever so more prevalent with New Hampshire’s opioid crisis, is a third group that is increasingly at risk of becoming victims.
“Recruiting entails befriending the victim and gaining their trust. This manipulation is planned, and purposeful.” “We’ve discovered that traffickers go to places like recovery centers or disability service sectors and wait for people to come out and then recruit them. They are trying to somehow identify the youth that are at risk and in a vulnerable place,” explained Halter. “Recruiting entails befriending the victim and gaining their trust. This manipulation is planned, and purposeful.” From there, the power dynamic slowly shifts and traffickers can start to coerce victims to do things, she continued. “In a lot of these relationships, the victim feels like this person actually cares about them or loves them. They could even be a boyfriend,” explained Halter. The Freedom Café represents a good setting to increase awareness among people in the commu-
Main Street
nity, said, Eagan. The significance of coffee in the context of human trafficking is how it’s grown and processed. The Freedom Café knows exactly what they’re selling and where they’re getting it from, said Eagan. “As a barista, if [the customers] haven’t been there before it’s important to tell our customers what we’re about and why it’s important to us that our coffee is all fair trade, and that people are treated fairly, and get fair wages and have fair working conditions. Our mission comes full circle,” said Eagan. Bessette’s idea started very small as he initially had no plans to have a fully running café right at the get-go, but as he began to pitch the idea and build a team, he realized there was a greater capacity for this than he originally had imagined. Bessette and his team went to the town of Durham and talked about the plan for the café, what would be necessary to make it work, and found some investors to help it get off the ground. One goal of the café is to empower UNH students to apply what they are learning in school, and do what they are passionate about, to help aid in ending human trafficking, explained Bessette. Their efforts are warranted given that the problem isn’t going away. New Hampshire law enforcement has confirmed 49 cases of human trafficking just in the last year in a half, and that’s not nearly as many cases as there are in reality, warns Halter. The Freedom Café volunteers want more people to know about the statistics and how large this problem and how the industry is. “It’s all around you, whether it’s on a local or national scale. It’s even happening in your hometown. Most of us probably don’t know it because we don’t know the signs. It’s a human’s rights violation, and it’s right in front of our eyes,” asserts Eagan. You can follow the Freedom Cafe on Instagram:
@thefreedomcafe
— 29 —
Winter 2019
Cyrus
Main Street
Jonathan Brown | Contributing Writer
“Em and I broke up.”
That could be difficult: Cyrus tells me this as we sit Cyrus has a mustache. In in the terminal of Boston fact, we all have mustaches. Logan. It’s a throwaway re- Dustin had the wonderful sponse, the lowest common idea of us getting “travdenominator to Dustin’s el-staches” for this trip, and prodding “Did you tell him we all bought into it. Cyrus yet?” The words linger in usually wears a beard. Comthe air for a moment before bined with his short hair, I respond with a worthless he often looks like a well“sorry”, the sole word I can groomed version of me. Not think of in my dumbstruck to worry though: Andy’s state. “How?” looks the worst. It’s much too wide, and when I relay They dated for four-andthis to Dustin, all he says is, a-half years, the entirety “I knew that would be the of Cyrus’s college career best part of the trip.” aside from the few weeks that remain after this fleetDespite his facial hair, ing spring break trip. They Cyrus has the wind at his were supposed to be perfect back; today’s college gradfor one another. But then I uates leave many more remember the photos they women in the sea than took: always looking candid, men. Unfortunately, since it took a true friend to know he hasn’t been on the marthey were staged, the two ket since high school, he of them freezing their exneeds helps navigating the pression the moment before world of women who are the shutter popped, aiming not in secondary education. to suspend their happiness I sometimes fear us men in time. It made me think are digging ourselves into a about all those times he said hole. The picturesqueness he didn’t want to have kids; of Instagram and promiscumaybe it was less about him ity of Tinder leave reality and more about her. distorted. We believe the only women worth talking “Yeah, so that means you to are goddesses and that have to help me talk to any sign of engagement girls,” Cyrus says. I stare at signals sexual attraction. Cyrus, my eyes blinking as Who are we men to think so if seeing for the first time. highly of ourselves? — 30 —
I sit beside Cyrus as we drive across New Hampshire. The White Mountains undulate beyond the windows of his ancient Civic. He’s never more himself than in the northern reaches of the state. Our conversation endlessly winds between topics, up hilltops and down valleys. Like the sun bounds the Earth, the subjects of women and dating always keep us within their orbit. Cyrus blazes through a monologue on female communication methods, hypothesizing about the body language, the text messages, the pillow talk. Exasperated, he throws his hands off the wheel, sending them thumping against the roof in defeat. I want to help, but I’m often just as clueless as he is. From our plane in Boston, we reach America’s other north. In Seattle, we leave behind the woes of New England for the awe of Puget Sound. Everything here looks like home beneath a magnifying glass: the buildings taller, the mountains steeper. By day, we glide up and down the slopes of the city. We push through the congested aisles of Pike Place Market, chewing blackened halibut
Winter 2019
sandwiches and thumbing through pages at the apothecary. We inhale long, slow breaths of marijuana on our “substance-free” kayak rental, standing on the arboretum that acts as the dividing line between the University of Washington and Seattle University. But by night, the universe collapses to a single reality: talking to girls. Cyrus and Dustin’s interest in this topic verges on obsession. Andy and I deem them fit to psyche themselves out with their banter (Cyrus, you’re gonna need to find somewhere else to sleep tonight.) but they view it as practice. We meet up with two of Dustin’s friends, here on an unrelated trip, and play shuffleboard in a wooded bar basement. Cyrus wears a checkered-print button-down, attempting to sip his beer with the same suaveness that the Marlboro Man lights his cigarettes. Dustin’s friends suggest another bar and we all stride into the windy night. They tell us it’s one of the bestknown spots in Seattle. Cyrus trails at the back of the group, wide-eyed at the expectation of women. “The Cuff ”, I read as we saunter towards the entrance. An older gentleman, leaning against the building while smoking a cigarette, motion us to go in as we approach. “Go in, have some fun!” he
says. We heed his advice, and upon entering we find ourselves in a black-lit room surrounded by middle-aged men. We promptly exit and some clubfooted gay man hobbles after us, trying to convince Dustin to have some fun. It turns out “The Cuff ” is a gay bar and sex shop, a place as renowned for its lack of women as it is for its cock ring selection.
Main Street
We bestow upon them the “rah-rahs” of courage and wish them the best of luck.
Cyrus and Dustin make their way down to the dance floor. Cyrus sees her amongst the crowd, blonde and in a white dress. Not wanting to come off as desperate, they don’t walk immediately up to them but shuffle their way across the dance floor. Cyrus starts to get nervous, Cyrus has this weird dance but refuses to be deterred; move. He squats like he has he has to do this. As they get polio, his knees bending into closer, he realizes he doesn’t one another. With his finknow what to say. So long gers pointed like two pistols, he’s avoided flirtation it’s his torso swivels back and as if all that data has been forth. It’s funny to watch, erased from his mind. “Hey!” but you have to admire his or “What’s up?” is much too enthusiasm. I feel like that’s casual, likely to receive at often our favorite part of best acknowledgment and at our friends, the goofy side worst rejection. Cyrus looks that not everyone gets to around; Dustin has disapsee. However, using this peared, receded back into approach with strangers – the safety of the crowd due especially women – is hit-or- to his own nerves. Cyrus and miss. the girl make eye contact. He can feel himself start to We find another club. It’s sweat. Be funny, he thinks, early, so we wander upstairs knowing humor is the quickto some plush chairs and a est way to a woman’s heart. couch overlooking the dance He remembers the ordeal floor. We figure it’s a ripe he’s just been through and time to get high again, and runs with it. we each eat a pre-packaged brownie as we wait for the “Is this a gay bar?!” he yells millennials to arrive. Cyrus over the music. stares at some woman down there, trying to get all of us The girl looks at her friends, to agree with him that she is a puzzled look on her face. the best-looking girl in the They all laugh, and then they place. He and Dustin start to walk away. get antsy being upstairs, and they decide to take action. —31 —
Winter 2019
Main Street
Warning: Habits Ahead Jamie Ammon | Content Editor
Habits aren’t just about drugs. We immerse ourselves in habits from the moment we get up in the morning. A habit is anything you do consistently, and that you would hate to part with. An unhealthy habit is a habit that hurts you. An addiction is a habit you couldn’t stop if you wanted to. It’s a quick and complicated path from one to the next, but it’s something we all have to deal with. You can’t get through the world without your habits. Brushing your teeth. Exercising. Drinking enough water. Getting enough sleep. If you do these regularly, they become thoughtless parts of your life. You don’t have to make time for them, they just come naturally. And they each make your life and health better. Healthy habits.
“An overly concerned suburban mother would call these ‘gateway habits.’” Checking your phone. Staying up a little too late. Snacking unconsciously. Getting drinks with friends. None of these are innately unhealthy but be warned: they can each lead to something more serious. Dependency on technology
and escaping from the real world. Insomnia and sleep deprivation. Weight gain. Alcoholism. The exaggerated results are just that; they’re hyperbolic manifestations of what could be. Not every person who drinks with their friends becomes an alcoholic, but someone who does it every day could start to forget what it’s like to be without a drink in their veins. An overly concerned suburban mother would call these “gateway habits.” Juuls. Joints. Cigarettes. Whatever your inhalation fixation is, it could hurt you. Maybe everyone you know vapes. Maybe it’s just easier. Maybe it calms your nerves and makes you feel better. And honest to god it’s not — 32—
the worst thing you can do to your body. But what many people don’t realize is the amount of nicotine in each Juul pod: about 20 cigarettes worth. Next time you finish your pod, think about that before you start your next one. Plenty of PSAs and lectures from your friendly neighborhood father figure will tell you not to smoke cigarettes. But chances are if you’re already smoking, you know what it’s doing to you. Health concerns are not what is making the decision for you. They say it takes 30 days to form a habit. That’s great news if you need to change your sleep schedule—just commit yourself 100% for a month and you’re there. A habit like that is hard to break and easy
Winter 2019
ble amount of trouble getting yourself to stop it now. These things can tie one into the next until you look around and don’t even recognize what you’ve gotten yourself into. You don’t know how you got to where you are today. If you’re not careful, college can go by in a blur. It goes by too fast for most people, but the ones who aren’t paying attention to staying healthy might have much bigger consequences to look out for. You might wake up on the other side without a single good habit set in place, and a dozen bad ones chaining you down. to follow. Want to work out more? Four weeks of weight work and it’s smooth sailing. Sick of getting headaches from dehydration? Start carrying a water bottle everywhere you go and you’ll forget you ever had a problem in the first place. But what if you have a bad day. What if your bad day turns into a bad week. What if the weeks start to slide by and before you know it you’ve got a bad habit. What if your bad habit turns into an addiction? What if you can’t stop? The danger with habits is that they are easy. A month may seem like a while, but it is so much simpler than you think to fall into a bad habit. Think about your last month here. What’s the first thing you remember doing? Does it really seem like that long ago? If you had started a bad habit that day, you would have an incredi-
It doesn’t seem like a big deal today, but when you think about how you’ll look back forty years from now, ask yourself: what will be my regrets?
“You might wake up on the other side without a single good habit set in place, and a dozen bad ones chaining you down.” Think about all of the beautiful tan women who used to go to tanning booths every week. Think about how their skin aged too fast. Or worse, how their skin killed them. Think about the businessman who started with a cup of coffee a day in high school then added another daily boost each year until he can’t see straight without half a dozen — 33 —
Main Street
cups and can’t stop drinking them if he tried. Ask yourself if he wants to be where he is. Think about the people who smoked in the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s because it was cool. Think about how long it took them to quit when they got worried about the health risks. How hard that journey was and how many times they went back to where they started. Ask yourself, what would they do if they could go back in time to their first cigarette? There are so many ways to make your life better and so many ways to improve the lives of those around you. But there are just as many ways to wreck it for yourself and everyone else. So please, for your own sake, start watching your habits here.
Winter 2019
Main Street
Money doesn’t grow on Christmas trees Zach Lewis | Contributing Writer The holidays scrape inch by inch closer every year to overtaking Halloween (Christmas’ disturbed younger sister) and subsequently the entire autumnal season. It isn’t about Jesus, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or any other belief system; it’s about belief in the almighty dollar. Money, money, money. The root of all evil and the root of all Christmas presents. Sometimes money is the best Christmas present, especially if you can’t be bothered to learn anything about your supposed partner or if you know they’ll just be using it for illicit substances.
No longer do we hunt for survival, but for the latest artisanally crafted yet corporate-approved method of storing knick-knacks. Whatever you decide, you’ll probably use a debit or credit card for most of the gifts. If you aren’t crushed by the weight of presents, you will be by credit card debt. Buying is so hot right now. “Consumer Affairs” states that “spending during the holiday shopping period rose 4.9 percent over last year’s numbers, posting the largest increase since 2011.” I wanted to see the trend in action, so I set out to join the masses. I visit the Mall of New Hampshire, not just for a fluorescent light-induced headache, but to experience the festive season of spending head-on. PR Newswire also reported that “retailers in the Northeast expect to see the strongest year-over-year growth [this year].” We’re in the eye of the storm. My first stop is at Starbucks to satisfy my inner Basic Bitch. Every sip of that creamy Gingerbread latte is a taste towards the end. Lines of pathetic souls. Weary in spirit and body, needing their lactose and caffeine fix. I speak to a middle-aged man waiting. He says he doesn’t drink coffee but is here for a venue-sized whole milk. Disgusting. I quickly shuffle away from the cereal killer.
of espresso, according to a Starbucks press release.” Move the fuck over Eudora Welty because that imagery is magnificent. “The third, inspired by the styling of Starbucks’ coffee bags, has vertical white and red-toned stripes.” The most slimming of the four cups. “The fourth and final design is white featuring red coffee cherries and green leaves, similar to holly.” None of these are outwardly offensive but if you try hard enough I’m sure you could find an aspect of the design to piss you off. Our ritualized holiday shopping habits typically begin on Black Friday. Issue 32, 2018, from the “Journal of Research for Consumers” states, “it is the biggest sales day of the Thanksgiving weekend, and more people shop on Black Friday than any other day during Thanksgiving week.” The same issue goes on to say, “some people may enjoy Black Friday shopping due to time spent with their close family members and friends as well as the thrill of bargain hunting.” No longer do we hunt for survival, but for the latest artisanally crafted yet corporate-approved method of storing knick-knacks. We bond by spending money. We measure love through dollars and cents. I know the perfect gift! I could have purchased this online but I want to feel vintage. “Business Insider” states that “millennials are demonstrating a heightened inclination toward shopping online, with 60% saying they plan to shop on their computers and 55%
I see the Holiday cups. “Fortune Magazine” describes the cups thusly: “The first design is green argyle with stars like that atop the Siren’s crown in the company logo.” So delicious-sounding it makes me want to buy designer jeans. “The second cup’s red-and-white flame pattern is meant to represent the intense flavor — 34 —
— 37 —
Winter 2019
Main Street
Songs of the 2019 Stars Madison Forsberg | Managing Editor
Aries Mar 20 – Apr 20 ^^^ Africa - Toto
April is the start of the rainy season in some parts of Africa, Aries. Might as well bless those rains year round though with this bangin’ tune, treat 2019 like a Safari and soak up all the wildlife!
Taurus Apr 20 – May 21 ^^^ Bulls On Parade - Rage Against The Machine
Rage Taurus, rage! Take 2019 by the horns and really show this year your rockin’ stubborn side. This would be a good year for you to try your luck at The Running of the Bulls. Really grab those horns, literally!
Gemini May 21 – Jun 21 ^^^ Neighbors - J. Cole
Watch out for those neighbors this year, Gemini. Sometimes a cup of sugar isn’t as innocent as it seems… beware, a Leo might be asking for some.
Cancer Jun 21 – Jul 23 ^^^ Rusty Cage - Johnny Cash
Break out of your rusty cage and run, Cancer. 2019 is a year of change, and with this rustic tune there’s no way you won’t be able to break from your routine and get rhythm on up out of your day-to-day. Toss on some good ol’ Mr. Cash and make 2019 a year all about you!
Leo Jul 23 – Aug 23 ^^^ Hey, Ya! - OutKast
Shake it like a polaroid picture, Leo! 2019 is a year for you to ask for some sugar because you are the neighbor and baby, you don’t mess around! Enjoy what ‘19 brings your way. Remember what’s cooler than being cool: ICE COLD!
Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 23 ^^^ Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day Everyone had a Green Day phase, Virgo, but yours is coming back for 2019! Exciting! You might be kind of sleepy throughout your birthday month though…
Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23 ^^^ Gin and Juice - Snoop Dogg
You got lucky this year, Libra. Snoop is on your side for this laid back year of chill. Keep your mind on your money and your money on your mind and it will be all good in your dog house.
Scorpio Oct 23 – Nov 22 ^^^ Man in the Mirror - Michael Jackson
2019 is a year of reflection for you, Scorpio. Take some time to yourself to look into that mirror and find your inner Michael Jackson. Plus, you can swap this tune out for Thriller on Halloween and still be on your yearly theme!
Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 22 ^^^ We All Die Young - The Decemberists This birthday month band says it all here, Sagittarius. We all die young, and you’re not exempt, so just say f*ck it to 2019 and live yah damn life.
Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 20 ^^^ STOP TRYING TO BE GOD - Travis Scott Weird year for you Capricorn, 2019 comes in hot with an ego trip. But don’t fear, take some advice from Travis and stop the holier-than-thou BS and you’ll have a great last year of the decade.
Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 ^^^ Ocean Man - Ween
With your sign, the water-bearer, defining you Aquarius, this might be the year you finally turn into the Ocean, Man! Embrace the water within and stay hydrated all year!
Pisces Feb 18 – Mar 20 ^^^ March of the Pigs - Nine Inch Nails You’re gonna march right through March this year, Pisces! Toss on some NIN any time you feel like your mind is in a hectic place. Also... maybe avoid pork?’ — 38—