Need to Know
“I’maVirgin Workingat Cosmo!”
What the hell is a 23-yearold V-card carrier doing at a magazine like this? By Malia Griggs
Sex (n): Something everyone else seems to have done that she hasn’t
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Tw id Why d our V card? tan y li o in p d o n ha osm us @C ginDiaries. #Vir
CHRIS CLINTON. Fashion editor: Charles Manning. Hair: Neil Grupp for Wella Professionals. Makeup: Katie Mellinger for Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics. Manicure: Liang using Dior Vernis at Atelier Management. Prop stylist: bednarkstudio.com. Pajamas: Victoria’s Secret; sweater and skirt: DKNY.
Landing the Job
first-job jitters along with this underlying fear: When will my coworkers find out that I know as much about sex as a hermit crab?
Why It Hasn’t Been Swiped
When I got the call saying that the editor-in-chief of Cosmo wanted to meet with me about an editorialassistant position, I was psyched. But then the excitement wore off, My virginity has never been a big and all I could think was Oh, my deal before. I’m not religious, so I’m god. What business would I—a not saving myself, and I’ve come virgin—have working close to having sex. But at a brand famous for when it got down to it, I was MOST stories like “50 Kinky never with anyone who I AWKWARD Sex Moves”? really felt like doing it with. EXPERIENCES Not that I’ve built up my As a recent college AT WORK grad looking to break first time to be some Fifty into magazines, I knew Shades of Grey, out-of� I had to, er, I couldn’t let the oppor body exper ience. I’ve just poke my head into tunity to work at the never seen the appeal in the editor-inbest-selling women’s getting it over with. chief’s office and magazine pass me by. say, “We’re ready Honestly, I consider for the penis So the day before the myself to be fairly normal. I meeting now!” interview, I beefed up take birth control, own a on sex facts, rifled vibrator, and enjoy flirting � A senior editor through my closet for a as much as any sexually asked for sex cheetah-print top, and active female. I always anecdotes, and repeated a G-spot, figured that I’d lose my V the overachiever C-spot, G-spot, C-spot card when the time was in me wanted to mantra to myself. right, and I’ve never offer some crazy When the editor-inpressured myself about it. move called the chief asked what my Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. But one major weakness on how could I? the job might be, I wanted to word-vomit � I organized the “Uh, my virginity?!” But Hottest Bachelors I’ve been at Cosmo for more I kept my mouth shut contest and asked than six months now, and and was thrilled a week around 50 hot, my virgin status hasn’t been later when Cosmo hired half-naked men an issue. Granted, they me. I had standard “How long should
haven’t asked me to write any downand-dirty bedroom-advice articles. But I’m confident I could pull it off— that’s what research is for, right? And although I’ve never had sex, I’m not an idiot. I can still chime in on editorial conversations about achieving orgasm and the many tantalizing ways to use an ice cube. Oddly enough, constant sex talk hasn’t put me in any more of a rush to get off the virgin islands. Because when it does happen, won’t he be lucky? Thanks to Cosmo, I’ll be an expert in bed-breaking Os, tongue tricks, and the lost art of eating a candy necklace off a dude’s package. It’ll certainly be quite a ride. ■ Malia at work—this virgin still gets the job done.
What I’ve Learned
great sex last?” As if I know.
September 2012 | COSMOPOLITAN
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