BETTER, TEMPORARILY

THE LOCKDOWN MONOLOGUES

BETTER, TEMPORARILY

BY / JEAN TONG

The GAMER is gentle, even shy – the camera is their enemy. A nerd in the sense that they don’t try to be anything they’re not. They play on their Nintendo Switch as they speak, increasingly drawn to the game over speaking.

I don’t want lockdown to end.

I’ve had a lot of free time that I didn’t have before. Cause I lost my job when everything. You know.

But I’ve been playing a lot of Animal Crossing, so. That has been nice.

Animal Crossing is a game on Nintendo Switch. It’s basically an über-cute feudal system where you build up your getaway island.

You play a little character version of yourself – I went through this evolution of like, the ‘me’ in Animal Crossing, I wanted it to look exactly like me, then I wanted it to look exactly not like me, then I circled back and now it looks like the kind of me that I want to be, but am maybe a bit too scared to be in real life?

That’s something I’m not doing a lot at the moment. Putting on new outfits for things. I’m gonna need to again, soon…

You can custom design your outfits in the game – pixel by pixel. Some people are recreating designer looks that you can then download for free. I get this weirdly intense pleasure of dressing my me in Rick Owens or Prada or exclusive Nikes or whatever that I would just never be able to afford. But here I can deck out my me for free, and just run around looking so fucking cool.

Sometimes the in-game villagers will even comment, like, wow, you’re wearing ‘Adidas A24 Cap’ by ‘ettoi’ – that’s the user who made the custom design – which really makes me feel like the villagers are responding to the actual me.

The writing’s just really – wow, you know? Like, my birthday was last month, and my villagers threw me a surprise birthday party with balloons and cake and confetti and everything! And then when I went to leave, Carrie, my favourite villager, she’s a kangaroo with a baby joey in her pouch, she said something like ‘Oh, is it that time already!’. And it sounds stupid – but. That really hit me in the feels. It felt like my friends being like, ‘don’t go, I’ll miss you’.

A moment.

I mostly play solo. Been playing… Upwards of 6 hours a day?

I should be looking for another job. I’m on Jobseeker but. That’s all going to end soon…

To be honest… I’m probably playing 8 or 9 hours right now. If only someone would pay me to play Animal Crossing.

I’ve been doing a lot of landscaping on my island. I think I’d really enjoy working on designing public space in real life.

Actually, some people have figured out how to make real money. They’re selling rare furniture, and then they use the custom clothing app to make QR codes, which people who want the furniture can scan to send money…

There’s a particular kitchen set called the ironwood kitchen set, and it’s stunning,

with wooden surfaces but black iron frames, and it looks so modern and sophisticated – everyone is on the hunt for it.

It does feel a bit like the black market.

I don’t really do that. I mostly play to tune out from real life.

A lull – they focus on something in-game.

You know what’s weird though? I was walking along the other day and I saw this stick that was shaped exactly like the sticks in the game – it’s a very specific looking stick – and I had this moment where I was like, pick it up! I gotta pick that up!

That’s when you know you’ve been playing too much.

It’s not like separate worlds – I do experience real life satisfaction. Like when I pay off my home loans that the overlord Tom Nook gives me. It’s just millions and millions of Bells that I can pay off in my own time. Interest free.

Which is funny because I’ll never own a house in real life. Much less a two-storey, 3-bedroom house with a basement. That’s probably why something like the ironwood kitchen set got so popular. We’ll never get that in real life.

Beat.

I used to wake up feeling guilty, ask myself what can I do to take another step forward, take another step forward. Stop wasting your life.

But actually, this whole thing has nothing to do with me.

So right now I’m just letting myself be happy. I put so much time into this game but it’s full of tiny miracles, which you can only find by putting so much time in. The rewards feel so detailed and kind of endless, and if I can find one of those new little miracles each day, or just notice something in the world that I’ve never noticed before – then I can leave feeling like I have achieved something.

Yesterday it was the slow sunset that started around 5.30pm – I got this orange glow that was so stunning – like the real-life sunsets you get where it makes everything a little too sharp and like the world is about to get set on fire but it’s still beautiful.

I stood on the beach and turned the volume up. The sound of the waves breaking, crashing… the wind through the palm trees, that incredible orange glow…

It was like I was there.

The GAMER has turned away from the camera, and is now fully focussed on the game.