7 minute read
Rebel Mama
Everyone’s journey to motherhood is different, and not everybody’s is easy. Everyone’s journey once becoming a new mother is also different. Parenthood is challenging enough without worrying if the world is going to judge you for your decisions.
Whilst Rebel Wilson might be smiling here, at the Academy Awards on October 15, our fave new Aussie mama, who announced the arrival of her baby girl Royce on November 8 via surrogate, was quickly shamed for attending a friend’s party soon her daughter was born. Rebel had been a parent for less than a month and she was already being mum-shamed after posting a since deleted video of herself having a good time. For all we know, Rebel only popped out for an hour to celebrate her friend because, while parenthood is undoubtedly important, so is maintaining relationships and your own mental health. Whether she stayed for an hour or longer is none of our business and she is the one who knows her baby and what’s going on at home. Whilst motherhood might be hard now, Rebel’s journey to motherhood was far from easy either. Her baby was years in the making and Rebel has opened up about her 'devastating' journey to becoming a mum.
It was an Instagram post in 2020 of her exercising on the beach, that she captioned with the words ‘year of health’, that gave us what we now know was the first hint she was trying to become a mum.
Busy with a hugely successful acting career, Rebel hadn’t started thinking about the possibility of having children until she was 39 and that’s when she looked into potentially harvesting and freezing her eggs.
With her fertility already complicated by polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), she knew she had her work cut out for her and has described her journey as an “emotional rollercoaster”.
Working with a trainer, Rebel went on to lose 37kg. And it goes without saying that nutrition played a major role in her transformation. Eating had been a real factor in her life and so she dedicated time to deal with “the emotional issues”.
However is was during the filming of her new dramatic film The Almond and the Seahorse that she received the next devastating hurdle in her quest to become a mother.
“During the filming I received some terrible news that all my harvested eggs up until that point had not survived being thawed. I'd lost a huge amount of weight and been through three surgeries at that point and I had no viable embryos. It was devastating."
But her desire to become a mother was so strong, she knew she couldn't give up, so Rebel chose the path of surrogacy as her next step so we were thrilled when she announced the arrival of her baby girl Royce last month.
"I can't even describe the love I have for her, she's a beautiful miracle! I am forever grateful to everyone who has been involved, (you know who you are), this has been years in the making… but particularly wanted to thank my gorgeous surrogate who carried her and birthed her with such grace and care,"
"Thank you for helping me start my own family, it's an amazing gift. The BEST gift!!I am ready to give little Roycie all the love imaginable. I am learning quickly… much respect to all the Mums out there! Proud to be in your club."
Sharing a clip of herself assembling a baby swing for the newborn on Instagram, the Aussie actress said she was 'crushing mumhood', having managed to assemble the device on her own!
"One week of motherhood is done, it's been a total life change. I'm not looking my most glamorous and I've been learning how to change diapers, how to feed the baby and I'm so lucky I have amazing help in my amazing partner Ramona.” "Thank you for all the love for baby Roycie, she's doing amazing. She's a tiny little thing but is doing amazing and is healthy and awesome and such a chilled baby, actually. It's been really cool to get to know her."
The journey to surrogacy
People turn to surrogacy as a means to have a family for a variety of reasons. Some may be heterosexual women who are unable to carry a pregnancy safely or who have had a hysterectomy; some may be a single or partnered gay man. Additionally, as adoption within Australian society is becoming more restrictive and progressively unavailable, couples and single people may wish to avoid the process or domestic or international adoption. Adoption in Australia, with the exceptions of certain states, is currently not an option available to
Gestational surrogacy is when the surrogate has a fertilised embryo transferred into her. The embryo is the product of in vitro fertilisation (IVF) using the sperm and egg of the intended parents, however gay men and single people can also use donated eggs or sperm. A gestational surrogate has no genetic contribution to the child they are carrying. Gestational surrogacy is the most common type of surrogacy arrangements in Australia. Traditional surrogacy is when the surrogate provides the egg herself, so she does provide a genetic contribution to the child she is carrying, which is fertilised with the sperm of the intended father, usually through artificial insemination.
Surrogacy in Victoria
Surrogacy in Australia is regulated in each state, which means there are no uniform laws that cover surrogacy across the country. However in Victoria the intended parents must be over 18 and surrogate must be at least 25 years old and must have previously carried a pregnancy and birthed a child, but they do not need to be resident of Victoria. It is illegal for intended parents or surrogates to advertise their need/desire for surrogacy and this includes posting something online. Laws in all states follow the same basic principles: • The intended parents must not be able to either conceive or carry a baby themselves. • Intended parents and surrogates in NSW are permitted to advertise their need for a surrogate, so long as they have not paid a fee for the advert, statement or notice • The surrogacy arrangement is not enforceable. This means that if the surrogate does not relinquish the baby, or the intended parents do not accept the baby, neither party can enforce the agreement. However, the surrogate can enforce the agreement to recover prescribed costs. • The surrogacy arrangement must be altruistic. Commercial surrogacy is illegal in all states in Australia. This means the
surrogate and her partner cannot be paid for carrying a baby for someone else. • Whilst surrogacy is altruistic, the intended parents must cover the surrogate’s expenses in relation to surrogacy, pregnancy and birth. • When the baby is born, the birth is registered in the state where the baby is born, with the surrogate and her partner listed as the baby’s parents on the Birth
Certificate. After the birth, the Intended
Parents can apply to the Court for a
Parentage Order in the state where they live. The Order transfers parentage from the birth parents (the surrogate and her partner) to the intended parents. The Birth
Certificate is then reissued with the new parents listed, instead of the surrogate and her partner. For more state specific rules in Victoria visit: https://www.surrogacyaustralia.org/ australian-surrogacy-legislation/victoria/
Surrogacy Overseas
If you are not comfortable with the support requirements, laws or effort required of Australian surrogacy, there may be legal overseas surrogacy options which can assist. Countries such as the US, Canada, Greece, Ukraine, Georgia & Russia all provide legal parentage to foreigners who are eligible for their programs. Eligibility and costs differ from country to country.
Parenthood is challenging enough without worrying if the world is going to judge you for your decisions. Parents should be allowed to do what instinctively feels right, and that’s not going to be the same for any two families.
Rebel will be experiencing many firsts right now. Let’s hope this is her first and last run in with the judgemental parent police and she gets to enjoy every minute of being a new mum.
If you'd like more information on surrogacy visit https://www.surrogacyaustralia.org/
