Dear new COVID mum

Dear new COVID mum, I know what it’s like…

On behalf of the mums of the 294,400 babies born in Australia in 2020, also known as the ‘COVID Mums’, we would like to welcome the 2021 mums to the COVID mum clan!

For many of us, we were born with a strong maternal instinct and on average waited 11,498 loonnnng days, envisioning what life as a mother would be like.

2020…boom... COVID hit, and those dreams remained just that… ‘dreams’. For ‘COVID Mums’, it has truly been a ride like no other. Picture this, a roller coaster ride that stops, starts, stops again… throws you off, cracks appear in the tracks, there is no safety harness holding you in, some of us rode a loop alone, the ride goes out of service, and we must wait months for repair. Does this sound familiar? Instead of sharing your exciting news of pregnancy at a beautifully planned luncheon with your besties where you design announcement cards and strategically hide them under the cushions of each chair, you share your news over a Friday night zoom session. Flipside, you got to take a still shot of the reactions of all 6 friends at once to post on socials, except the photo isn’t exactly flattering having mid facial expressions. So, scrap that idea.

Hey, it’s not all that bad. Instead of being stuck in the waiting room at pathology as you wait in between your blood sugar tests, you get to relax in the comfort of your car. Now that was a plus! Instead of having your partner hold your hand and enjoy watching those squirms as you have your ultrasound check up’s, he impatiently awaits in the carpark for your Facetime call, except there’s poor phone reception in the basement. Noooo!!!

Instead of driving to the office each day and holding back the vomit, you time the vomits in between the zoom meetings and so eloquently turn off the zoom camera to have a moment.

Instead of your colleagues seeing your baby bump growing, people forgot you are pregnant with your belly hidden below the computer screen. Let’s not forget the fact that your bottom half was already in maternity leave mode, as you rocked your comfy trackies and uggies, with your top half remaining corporate.

Instead of having to time your toilet shuffles to the closest facilities from your office, trying to locate a cubicle that has toilet paper available, you can dart across the hallway to your ensuite.

You pictured a perfectly coordinated baby shower and had purchased all matching decor, where you got to wear a beautiful flowing dress and a flower crown. Instead, you have a handful of your closest friends over and sit around relaxing and chatting in comfort. Again, not so bad, right? Instead of having a baby sprinkle at work where everyone flocks to the boardroom like seagulls when they smell free food, your team coordinate a zoom session for you. Who would have thought we would be having zoom baby sprinkles… well we did! Yes, it was slightly awkward, however a cute touch!

Instead of being able to have your partner stay with you in hospital, and do tag team on resettling, some mums had to say goodbye to their partner once bub was born and endured that first night alone and afraid.

Instead of being able to have unlimited visits in hospital, you had to create a schedule of who would visit when each day and you had to have the awkward conversations as to those that didn’t make the cut. The plus side was that you didn’t have to fight off the herds of visitors when all you wanted to do was rest and select your next hospital meal as you made the most of being waited on. Instead of siblings being able to meet in hospital, introductions occurred as you pulled up in the driveway at home. Instead of your family living overseas meeting their new addition, so many of them are yet to meet them.

For me being the social butterfly that I am, I couldn’t wait to become a mum to join a mothers’ group. To find out that these mothers’ groups were on hold and instead there was an online catch up with the local mums’ and the clinic nurse… now that broke my heart! Luckily for me, after our SUPER awkward first zoom session, one of the mums’ arranged a face to face catch up and we haven’t looked back. Give it a go. You never know who you might meet! Who else has been doing zoom baby catch ups? How grateful we are for technology that allows us to still be connected, oh I mean so the babies can see their friends right! I suppose it isn’t all that bad, that you could enjoy a vino whilst enjoying nursery rhymes! Instead of having an epic first birthday party, you scrap that idea and start planning an epic second birthday party. ‘COVID mums’, I know it’s been a hell of a ride. Yes, it’s tough and feels so unfair, as if we have been totally ripped off. However, try and find that upside. In saying that, you have full permission to tell a non-COVID mum to go jump when they tell you they get how hard it is haha.

By Tammy Hewitt. Tammy is an Aussie mum, coach and mentor. Tammy and fellow mum Leah Riddell are behind the new community, The Pain To Power Sisterhood, a safe space where women come together, to support and empower each other in a place that rebuilds and focuses on hope for the future.

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