No celebrating after drop-off

This Mama aIn’t celebratIng after drop off! By Liv Wilson

It’s done! The Summer holidays are over and the new school year is here. If you’ve been dreading this day, you’re not alone. For many parents across Australia, with an anxious child, the first day of a new school year is much dreaded and not a day to skip out of the gates cheering with our friends as we head for a well deserved glass of bubbles!! And let’s face it, this year comes with added worry for some children after COVID lockdowns, and extended periods of remote learning, added to the awkwardness of trying to reconnect with friends they haven’t seen for a while. I’m a mother of a child who suffered terribly with separation anxiety and I’ve spent many ‘1st days’ praying with every part of my being, that this day, this year, this drop off would be the one where everything clicks and saying goodbye at the gate would be a breeze.

The mornings drag!

It’s no surprise that ‘separation anxiety’ can wreak havoc on your mornings. The sore tummy, the tears, the refusal to eat brekkie, the getting dressed in slow motion! The packing and unpacking of the school bag, the fussing over the lunchbox, the constant questions and the unrelenting need for reassurance. To get out of the door takes a huge amount of strength from the whole family and resisting the urge to slam on the brakes and take everyone home is a challenge like no other. If you’re a Mama to a child with separation anxiety, there are lots of tried and tested (by me) ways you can help make the mornings run a little smoother, ensuring stress is limited and you’re not all frazzled by the time you reach the gates.

• Set a good routine – too much time can create as much stress as too little.

The Ultimate Family Planner will help with family organisation, and the motivational quotes will keep you going. • Discuss your morning routine the night before so everyone knows what’s expected of them when they get up. • Prepare bags and lunches the night before to save over complicating the morning. • Pop a cute note inside your child’s lunchbox - do this every day so they have something to look forward to. A daily riddle is fun too! Check out riddles.com or lunch notes from Sprout and Sparrow. • Have a good, clear calendar so everyone knows what’s happening each day, what chores they need to do and what to look forward to. I love Daily

Orders wall planners for this. • Set a limit on questions and don’t be afraid to say “no more”. Constant questioning can increase stress levels for everyone. • Ask the teacher for a breakdown of the timetable and add it to your wall planner – knowing what’s ahead means you can both prepare for the day.

This will also help prompt conversations in the afternoon. • Apps like Smiling Mind and A Soft Murmur can help calm your child (and you) at home or in the car. • Make sure you keep yourself calm as anxious children feed off your mood too. This can be hard but try your best! • Get a set of print at home emotion cards from the Chaos to Calm

Consultancy to help your kids understand their emotions and encourage them to talk about how they feel. • Talk to the school and tell them what you need them to do. Ask for help!

They may have no idea your child is struggling. • If other mums are offering to help, accept it. Sometimes just the simple act of another mama taking your child by the hand, will break the chain!

I’m not a doctor. I’m not a health professional, I’m just a mama who’s been where you are now, and I know how helpful implementing just a few of these tips can be. There’s no quick fix, it could take a few weeks, perhaps a term to get back in the swing of things, maybe even longer, but, everything will be ok, I promise! xx If you’re worried about your child, it’s important you speak with your GP at the earliest opportunity.