relationship COMMUNICATION

James & Natasha King

AVOID CRAFTINESS : If you find yourself letting a conversation brew well before it actually takes place, where you craft the other person’s responses, you are unnecessarily tampering with your emotions. Avoid being emotionally disturbed and viewing the other person inappropriately because of comments you’ve developed in your own mind. Allow the other person to communicate with you in their own truth.

Consider these seven habits as you establish and/or grow your relationships.

LISTEN WITHOUT CONDEMNATION: Whenever you are engaging in a conversation, remember that the other person trusts you enough to share with you with no fear of judgement. Even if you don’t say anything that is viewed as judgmental during the conversation, guard your thoughts against judgement. Not doing so could impact your thoughts, feelings, or actions towards them later on.

USE WORDS WITH NO COATING : At times, you may feel as if you cannot be completely truthful because you fear that you will hurt them. When this happens, you may find yourself sprinkling sugar over your words to avoid telling the whole truth. Coating your words can be misleading for them and restricting for you. There is a way to use your words wisely, and still be completely truthful.

BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR WORDS : Being that opportunities wrapped in a particular set of circumstances do not present themselves more than once, you must choose your words wisely. Justifying what you say using, “I just have to speak my mind…” is acceptable only when you are choosing to allow your spirit to control your mind. Too often, when we “speak our mind”, we are really speaking from a place where we choose to allow our emotions to control our thoughts.

TALK WITHOUT COVETOUSNESS : It is not a comfortable feeling to genuinely engage in a conversation only to be met with words that are dripping with thirst. Refrain from abusing someone’s listening ear with words and thoughts that stem from longing and desiring what someone else has.

DODGE THE COPOUT : The copout is that opportune, yet evasive moment where you find yourself using phrases like whatever, that’s okay, or I don’t care. The irony is that it is not whatever, it is not okay, and you do care. We often find ourselves using these elementary colloquialisms, not because we don’t feel like talking at that particular time, but because we have not learned how to communicate beyond our feelings. Depending on the value of the relationship, you have three options: say nothing (some comments and behaviors don’t deserve your response), agree to talk at a better time, talk through whatever the problem is.

TAKE CONTROL : Taking control is not about dominating the conversation or dictating the other person’s thoughts or feelings. Honestly, that type of behavior and thinking typically yields an unfavorable outcome. Instead, being responsible and taking control of your thoughts, words, and actions places you in a much more effective position for communicating. Maintaining positivity while truthfully sharing what you think and feel will have a greater impact beyond the conversation.

10 YEARS 4 MONTHS 22 DAYS of beautiful love, marriage and partnership