May
2012 Vo l u me 6 Is s u e 5
Let the Weak Say I Am Strong Despite a body broken by polio, minister and singer Ann Foster chooses to focus on what God has done for her
by Cynthia Diggs Go to the One who can answer your deepest questions
Mother’s Day Minefield, by Sharifa Stevens Take care in choosing that gift or things could go BOOM!
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Getting Over the Pain,
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by Chuck Goldberg
Kirk, McClurkin, LeCrae..., by May Olusola Gospel greats light up the 43rd Annual GMA Dove Awards
May 2012 • Volume 6 • Issue 5 • Page 2
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Publisher May Olusola
CONTENTS
It’s Not Over
Features
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Let the Weak Say I Am Strong
Editor Julie Lyons Art Direction Jason McFarland
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MannaEXPRESS 7000 Independence Parkway, Suites 160–145 Plano, Texas 75025
by Sharifa Stevens
You Surpass Them All
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Soul Food This chicken is better than fried.
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by Joanne Cutting-Gray
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Guest Column: Let Go of the Pain Only God could heal my heart when I lost my baby.
It Is Well
by May Olusola
by Cynthia Diggs
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Third Watch How to get equipped to cast out devils.
Talk Back
by Taiwo Ayeni
Trippin’ on race with Trayvon; cracking the demonic code.
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Prayer Mountain This month’s focus: Honor your mother.
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Manna Confidential How to get a fresh start when sex is boring or just plain awful.
For subscription information e-mail us: info@mannaexpressonline.com For Advertising, event coverage, church or organization listing and general information, please call: Office: 972-782-2727; 972-228-9200
by Chuck Goldberg
My mother’s life demonstrated that it’s not over till God says so.
Staff Photographer Kevin Dukes Cover photo by Kevin Dukes
Choose a thoughtful gift for Mother’s Day…and avoid things that go BOOM.
Columns 5
Grace and Grit
Despite a body broken by polio, Ann Foster focuses on what God has done.
Our writers and friends salute Mother’s Day.
Contributing Writers Taiwo Ayeni Joanne Cutting-Gray Iris Delgado Chuck Goldberg J. Lee Grady Mrs. Happy Hank Lamb Trevor Main Stephanie Morris-Graves Sanele Ndebele Sharifa Stevens Michael Tummillo
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by Mrs. Happy
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Fire in My Bones Break away from the insidious power of pornography.
Entertainment 19
Manna Fun Are you smarter than a fifth-grader? Take a crack at our Bible crossword puzzle.
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Manna Groove We caught them on the red carpet at the 43rd Annual GMA Dove Awards. by May Olusola
by J. Lee Grady To send a message to the Publisher, e-mail: editor@mannaexpressonline.com © 2012 MannaEXPRESS All Rights Reserved. No reproduction of any portion of this issue is allowed without written permission from the publisher. MannaEXPRESS reserves the right to decline advertising that is not in accordance with what the newspaper represents.
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Godly Man The goal of Christian parenting is to make yourself redundant. by Hank Lamb
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ay is a very special month for me. Mothers are honored on Mother’s Day, and I celebrate my birthday on the first day of the month—that should answer any questions about how I got my name. I want to seize this opportunity It is well to wish all mothers a very by May Olusola happy Mother’s Day and Publisher congratulate them on the difficult but rewarding role of raising children. For those single men raising children in place of their mother, all I can say is you are blessed. Keep up the good work.
planned to live their lives to the fullest.
My mother’s teenage and early adult years were plagued with excruciating menstrual periods that often resulted in her admission to the hospital. Although the harsh nature of her cycle, the complications, and the pain all spelled trouble, my mother was unprepared for her doctor’s verdict. “You will not be able to have children,” he told her while she was recuperating from being critically ill. The results of some tests seemed to buttress his claim. This news shattered my mother’s lifelong dream of having kids. She became an orphan at the age of 11 and looked forward to having children of her own to fill the void her parents’ deaths created. She’d been dating my dad for a few years, and as she prepared to break the news to him, she feared for the worst. My father was the first son of his parents, and they were eagerly anticipating the arrival of grandchildren. My mother wasn’t sure he’d remain with her without the possibility of children in the picture. She did what she knew to be best: Leave the situation in God’s hands.
Twelve months later, my mother gave birth to my sister Uyi on May 6, and two years later, she gave birth to my brother, Osahon (which means God hears), on May 15. People always ask me why my mother gave birth to all her children in May, and I always jokingly tell them, “I’m sure my father can explain what always happened during a certain month in the year.”
My father’s response shocked my mother. “I love you and will marry you whether you can bear a child or not,” he told her. My mother thanked God and respected my father all the more. Their families, however, did not approve of the union. My parents were very much in love and made up their minds to leave their respective families out of their relationship. In 1966, they eloped to another Nigerian state far away from home, got married and started their lives as husband and wife. My mother was 29 and my father was 32, and they
Enjoy reading MannaEXPRESS this month and be sure to leave your comments on our website at www.mannaexpressonline.com. Thank you for spreading the word about MannaEXPRESS, and until next month, remember to let God be God.
Three months after their wedding, my mother started having strange physical symptoms. A visit to her new doctor revealed she was pregnant. Shocked and unable to believe what she was hearing, she called my dad, who marveled at the Lord’s doing. The report of the Lord completely erased the doctor’s report, and at 11 a.m. on May 1, 1967, my mother gave birth to a very healthy eight-pound baby girl— me. My parents named me Esohe, which means the grace of God, and gave me the middle name Honey May, which a very close family friend came up with. (I deliberately leave Honey out of my name because I was teased a lot about it growing up.)
Over the years, I loved hearing my mother describe her Anytime I think of the phrase “It is not over until God says experience after the first few days of my birth. “I kept so,” my mind always races to my mother—her easygoing way pinching myself to see if I was dreaming—I used to sneak of life and strong belief that what will be will be. If she didn’t into the nursery to spy on you and count your tiny fingers employ this approach to the way she lived her life, you might and toes to make sure they were 10 each,” she’d say with a not be reading from me today. huge smile on her face.
My mother wasn’t sure he’d remain with her without the possibility of children in the picture.
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With three children under her belt, my mother was convinced that she was serving a God who can never fail. She took care of us to the best of her ability, did not spare the rod and spoil us but made us believe that nothing is impossible. She passed on to glory on August 17, 2007, leaving behind a legacy of unshakable faith in God. To all of those waiting to experience motherhood, I encourage you to let go and let God—let His will and not your will prevail in your life, in Jesus’ name.
Talk Back Letters to the Editor Who’s a Racist? My oh my, MannaEXPRESS, you guys are truly on another level. [“What Do You See?” by Sharifa Stevens, Stephanie Morris-Graves, and Julie Lyons, April 2012.] The boldness to tackle a subject religious folks tend to shy away from is truly commendable! Keep up this fire. God bless all of you. —Faith Norgen Good job, ladies. I am an AfricanAmerican lady, and I can relate to what these writers are saying. I hear you, Stephanie, about going to the store and security is following you like a thief. It is very painful, and I am hoping people will truly see the other side. —Anastasia I am an African living in Africa, but even there we have all sorts of prejudice. I have found myself bleeding on the inside anytime I read about stories like those of Trayvon Martin, Amadou Diallo, and others. Is it possible God is white, and no one ever told us? —Linda Ekezie
everyone does on a daily basis, whether they realize it or not. All animals do; it is a survival response. You fear a tiger because of its reputation but recognize it for its stripes. The problem is not the people themselves. For decades, many people have tried to overcome the horrible racism and prejudices of the past but are afraid to speak Get off the black thing already! It doesn’t matter what color the young boy was. The openly for fear of reprisal. Hence, others feed the fire to perpetuate hatred. All that is sad part is, he’s gone! —Pixy needed for evil to win is for good people to stand by and do, or say, nothing. —James M. I’m not racist and have several black friends. But this kid wasn’t an angel like I appreciate the way the writers opened the media suggest, and I think George up about how they feel. The truth is bitter Zimmerman was defending himself. —Joe but has to be told. The bottom line is that a human life was taken, and a lot of folks are screaming “racism.” What are What I see is two people the Lord Christians saying about it? We should be loves and cares about just as He does everyone. There is no color in God’s eyes. praying for the two families. The end of I am not prejudiced, nor should others be, this write-up says it all—“I hope that the Christ-followers that I encounter are good but that is their choice. I pray that God neighbors. At the end of the day, though, will bring glory to this situation and that my charge from my King is to be a good if they do not know Jesus, through this they might come to know Him. I think it neighbor, period.” We must learn to be is about time we all grow up and let go of good neighbors, not good color-conscious this race thing. I feel for the mother of this neighbors. —Carol Johnson child that was killed. I cannot understand why this happened, but there is a reason I have a lot of black friends, but I am so for everything. —Fannie Mooring sick of people screaming racism every time a black person is hurt or killed by a white person. If the kid had been white People seem to be skirting an important issue here. Prejudiced does not equal racist. and Zimmerman had been black, nothing would have been said about it. This kid I am not a racist. I believe people can and was no angel. I’ve seen pictures of him should marry anyone they love, LOVE and he looks like a street thug in them, being the operative word. It is almost impossible to not be prejudicial. I am often but the only pictures they show on TV are the sweet little innocent ones of him guilty myself when I see a big, tattooed when he was 14. He was 17 when this shaved-headed white guy wearing chains happened. I believe it was self-defense, and and leather—I tend to give him a wide Zimmerman is going to spend the rest of berth! But having preconceived notions his life in prison because of political B.S. based on a person’s looks is something —Janice I am a white man, and this article touched me for black people. I am guilty at times of jumping to conclusions based on stereotypes. After reading this, I will try to ensure my perceptions will stay changed. —Richard Landon
“I have found myself bleeding on the inside anytime I read about stories like those of Trayvon Martin and Amadou Diallo. Is it possible God is white, and no one ever told us?” Until you have actually walked in my shoes, don’t presume to tell me that the world I live in is not racist. I am 60 years old and experienced racism at an early age and know it when I see it. I deal with it through prayer and educating others. I won’t apologize for my skin color to make anyone else comfortable. God made me, and He doesn’t make mistakes. —Diane
Demons 101 This is powerful information, and many of us are ignorant of the enemy’s devices [“Demons for Dummies, Part 1,” by Taiwo Ayeni, April 2012]. God bless you my brother in Christ, as this info is valuable in bringing us into a clean and holy standing with God…which is His will! —George
Prayer Mountain May 2012: Honor your mother
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elcome to the month of May—a special month with a special day dedicated to honoring mothers. Can you imagine the world without mothers? We thank God for all mothers and pray that His grace will continue to be sufficient for them, in Jesus’ name.
naturally. These are just a few attributes a mother’s touch produces. When your child is sick, who does he call? Mothers! Dad could be sitting right next to your child, but nothing is like a mother’s touch.
Along with the touch of a mother, we must also make plans to meet our children’s needs—financially, Scriptures: spiritually, and emotionally. God’s Word has given us Psalm 37:7; Jeremiah 17:7; Proverbs 10:12; I Peter 4:8; Deuteronomy 6:6-7; Galatians 5:22; Proverbs 19:17; Isaiah clear instructions for training our child. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and 42:9; Exodus 19:5; Romans 12:13; Deuteronomy 31:6. when he is old he will not depart from it.” That touch of instruction carries great rewards, though motherhood is Prayer points: not easy! We can’t give up on any little obstacle. We must • Faithful God, thank you for the glorious vessels called be determined to be the best mother we can be. mothers. • Bless them at all times and meet their needs, according We can’t let challenges in life consume us. Find time to to your riches in glory through Christ Jesus. relax, read, enjoy a brisk walk or a soothing bath to keep • Grant all mothers the courage and patience they need to face the future that life with children always brings. your mind from the hustle you encounter in life. As you continue to apply the Word of God to your life, you will • Father, give our mothers a double portion for all their find your mind renewed, and you will achieve victories. troubles. • Lord, give all mothers the extra grace to teach and love Once you become a mother, it is imperative to be there their children as you love and teach them. • Dear Lord, bow down your holy ears and hear the cries for your children. It is a must. Setting a career aside for the first five years of your child’s life, whenever possible, of all mothers. can give him/her the best start in life. Remember that a • Father, remember the good works of mothers who mother’s touch is like no other. One thing I know we all are ill and let there be a manifestation of your healing agree on is that time can never be replaced; money can power in their lives. • Father, give mothers unmerited favor in their endeavors. always be earned. Many things we make commitments to are just other ways to fill a void in our life. The Word • Holy Spirit of God, descend by fire and build an of God gives clear instructions and directions to help us impregnable wall of protection around mothers, in be the best mothers we can be. Jeremiah 29:11: “For I Jesus’ name we pray, amen. know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Fresh Manna
The Secrets of a Mother’s Touch A mother’s touch is different. It seems Dad always says, “Go ask your mother.” One thing about being a mother, the touch of love, joy, protection, and care comes
PRAYER REQUESTS FROM OUR READERS: “Please pray that God would restore and bless my friendships with both of my dear friends, Dani (who needs salvation) and Rebecca. They have been my closest friends, and I have been struggling emotionally from the idea of losing these years-long friendships. I believe in God’s ability to bring healing to these friendships with prayer and ask you to join me in this effort.” —Nicholas “Pray for the protection my children, who have had many trials and tribulations in their lives. I pray they will have the love, courage, and faith to accomplish their purpose and to stand on their own without fear and without constant hurt from others. I pray they will be successful.” —Audrey can’t make excuses for our children’s improper behavior. Granted, there are some strong-willed children who need to be dealt with according to the Word of God. Our children will at times bring disappointments and even rebellion, but one thing I’ve learned is not to dwell on the problem but to concentrate on the Word and prayer, also seeking counsel from friends whose children reflect sound child-rearing.
Our children are priceless—let’s put all we can into being You get out of motherhood what you put into it. I see mothers while we have the chance. many teens left to fend for themselves, and it hurts my heart when I talk with them. I discover that they have no —Iris Shamble sense of direction or value on their lives. Isn’t that sad? We
Prayer on Mother’s Day I thank you, Creator of us all, for my mother. I thank you that she gave me life and nurtured me all those years. She gave me my faith, helping me to know you and to know Jesus and His ways. She taught me how to love and how to sacrifice for others. She taught me that it was OK to cry and that I should always tell the truth. Bless her with the graces she needs and which you want to give her today. Help her to feel precious in your eyes and to know that I love her. Give her strength and courage, compassion and peace. Bless her this day with your love. May 2012 • Volume 6 • Issue 5 • Page 6
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Let the Weak Say I Am Strong
Despite a body broken by polio, minister and singer Ann Foster chooses to focus on what God has done for her
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ost would give anything to make it in Hollywood or Broadway, and Ann Foster of Hurst, Texas, knew this was her destiny as a singer. Today, however, she is grateful that God had other plans.
Witness
Her introduction to singing began at 4 when she was hospitalized for polio in Atlanta—in an era when the disease meant severe debilitation and sometimes death. Foster was not expected even to live, but instead the disease stole most of her youth. Today, though Foster wears a brace on her left leg, uses crutches, and calls her legs “pretty deformed,” she has never stayed down physically or spiritually. by Chuck Goldberg
It began with a fever for several days, rising to 104 for sustained periods, which burned her nerve endings. Eventually, she became paralyzed in both legs and one arm and was severely crippled, she says.
you, but Jesus will be with you, so you talk to Him.’ So I developed a relationship with Jesus,” Foster says. “He became my best friend and helped me cope with my crippled body day by day. So I knew He would help me, whatever the circumstances.” Plus, her mother had brought her a record player, so she would sing all the time, often making up songs and singing requests. She learned to sing while lying on her stomach in a full body cast, an ordeal she faced three times. “When I sang, I’d feel the warmth of God’s presence through the songs, that He had an angel with me,” Foster says. She continued singing while in and out of the hospital throughout her childhood. Often in excruciating pain, Foster underwent 13 surgeries in all. After each time in a body cast, she had to learn to walk again because of the resulting muscle atrophy. “Just to stand up was a major task whenever I was in a body cast for so long,” she says.
After surgery to correct scoliosis in her left hip, she finally got to go home. Then she fell and broke Because polio patients were her right leg, putting her often quarantined, Foster in a full leg cast with her spent considerable time alone limb extended. All the photo by Kevin Dukes in the ward. Her mother was time in a wheelchair then only allowed to see her weekly undid her hip surgery, Since TV was unavailable in her ward, Foster read for two hours, and her father leading to more pain and frequently, loving to pore over the encyclopedia and even was away in the Marine Corps. discomfort. the dictionary to learn words. Home schooling didn’t Foster also had a brother who exist, but library books were circulated at the hospital, was born when she was about At about age 10, Foster which Foster used extensively. Eventually, her health 10 years old. finally got relocated to an improved sufficiently for her to attend public school. Atlanta hospital closer to Her isolation remained from her parents in an Atlanta In high school, she studied with good voice teachers and age 4 till about 12, causing suburb, but it only became an accomplished soprano, seizing opportunities emotional pain along with the happened after an orderly to sing with the Atlanta Pops symphony, perform the physical pain. Though she knew her parents loved her, she inappropriately touched her in her wheelchair during National Anthem at ball games, and appear before various could not fully understand why she was left alone so much. movie time in the ward. A nurse later overheard Foster churches, civic groups, and at weddings. telling a fellow patient, and the orderly was arrested. “That was my circumstance as a child,” Foster says, “but Foster was called to the ministry at age 16 and wanted I knew Jesus was with me. I knew my parents were not Seeing her parents more frequently changed her life for to be a music minister. At age 18, she received a voice rejecting me, but it was still lonely. Later, when I had the better, she says. It meant less loneliness and sense of scholarship to Shorter College in Rome, Georgia, where children of my own, I came to understand that it was rejection and more security, love, and care. she met future husband Carter, marrying in June 1961. probably more difficult for my mother to leave me than it They immediately began senior pastoring, planting was for me to be left alone.” About a year later, Foster was water-baptized. Through churches in Kentucky, Indiana, Colorado, and Texas her teen years, she had what she called an up and down until 2006, when Carter was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Through these years, Foster reached out to God, taking Christian life. “I called myself a chronic re-dedicator,” she disease while they pastored Colleyville Christian her mother’s words to heart. “Mom said, ‘I can’t be with says with a chuckle. Fellowship. At that point they contacted Covenant
“My husband used to tell me I was the little lamb that God had to hobble to keep me off Broadway. Instead, He led me to work in the church. Nothing is more challenging.”
May 2012 • Volume 6 • Issue 5 • Page 8
Church of Carrollton to request a merger. Today, the Fosters are staff pastors at what has became Covenant Church of Colleyville, one of five Covenant satellite churches in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. In charge of adult education, the Fosters preach occasionally but primarily devote themselves to marriage counseling. In 2006, Foster obtained a Ph.D. in theology online through the University of Honolulu. The Fosters have five children, 15 grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren. Foster wasn’t sure she could even have children, let alone properly care for them. Just holding a baby posed a challenge, but she pulled it off, even while living in two-story homes.
Foster constantly practices what she preaches to the handicapped—never allow your disability to limit you. “Your handicap should not ever define you,” she says. “We should be defined by our response to it, and the way we continue to worship and praise the Lord and be grateful in all circumstances.” It’s all part of her key message, centered around 2 Corinthians 11:30 and 12:9—only boasting about the things that exhibit weakness, and recognizing that’s how God’s power works best. With this perspective, Foster has never had room for anger or bitterness, always seeing God at work through adversity. She has never praised God for her suffering, but in spite of it, firmly believing that all things do indeed work for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.
“It’s a miracle that the Lord helped me know what to do and how to raise my five children,” she says. “It wasn’t easy as a handicapped mother. Today, though, they’re all wonderful, productive, God-fearing adults, and I’m proud “I really do believe this,” she says. “The more you can of them.” praise Him in spite of your circumstances, the more His purpose is revealed in you and you can help others. It’s Foster believes that had she Christ in me that touches wound up in show business, people and is the hope of her life would have turned glory. If this vessel wasn’t out very differently. Instead, broken, He wouldn’t be able she says, God used her to be the glory that shines disability to lead her into from me. He uses me, and her true calling. I’m so thankful for that.”
“Your handicap should not ever define you. We should be defined by our response to it, and the way we continue to worship and praise the Lord and be grateful in all circumstances.”
“My husband used to tell me I was the little lamb that God had to hobble to keep me off Broadway,” she says. “Instead, He led me to work in the church. Nothing is more challenging. Nothing is more rewarding than saving a marriage, when you get one on one with a couple and see them changed. It’s such a blessing to me.”
And Foster has maintained her perspective, even when seeing others she personally prayed for receive healing. When she told God it was her turn to receive, she unquestioningly accepted His answer.
Ann and Carter Foster, partners in life and ministry, have been married for 50 years.
and continually praising Him, remaining grateful in all circumstances. “I know Him,” she says simply. “I know Him personally. I know that He knows me. When you fight with questions like, ‘Why me?’ and ‘Why haven’t you healed me?’ we have that temptation to doubt that He loves us. But I know that He does love me and He does care about me. And He loves me even more because I’m His little crippled lamb.” •
“He said, ‘You take those thoughts captive and focus on what I have done in your life and what you’re believing Chuck Goldberg has a degree in journalism and a Master of me to do.’ He’s just chosen to use me to encourage people Divinity in Christian education. A former newspaper reporter Though Foster fell in 1999 and crushed her good leg, who are still handicapped and who still have disabilities and magazine managing editor, he is now an ordained forcing her to rely more on her wheelchair, she says she still to deal with.” minister and freelance writer-editor. He and his wife Dolly leads an active life—working full-time, going shopping, have three children and live in Layton, Utah. and traveling. She has even found a way to snow ski, ride Developing a relationship with the Lord, according horses, and ballroom dance with Carter, doing everything to Foster, is the reason she believes she has been able she can as an outlet for her daring nature. to overcome. It’s all about keeping your eyes on Him
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You Surpass Them All: A Mother’s Day Tribute A
s children, my brother, sister, and I would periodically ransack drawers, cupboards, and closets all over the house in hopes of discovering goodies from our oh-so-distant youth. But the mother lode was finding treasures from our parents’ past. Toys, keepsakes, books… they were all fascinating. But there was one keepsake that I would always go back to: my mother’s sketchbook. In my young eyes the drawings were the most beautiful I had ever seen. The pages were only letter-sized, and I don’t even know if she had drawn the pictures as a child or an adult. I did know, however, that I wanted to draw pictures like the woman I loved so much. Today my mom would laugh if she heard me describe those simple sketches as beautiful, but they were certainly enough to set me on a path that led me to major in studio art in college and then pursue a career in graphic design.
two things: enjoying life to the fullest and helping people to the maximum. I remember her always reaching for her checkbook and giving to people of all ages. There were times she bundled us in the car with cleaning supplies to go and clean the quarters where some reverend fathers and sisters lived. There were many times we were deprived of things because someone else needed that money.
—Tiffany Roaten Director of Sales, Top Page Marketing Solutions, Fort Worth
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ontinue my legacy of helping others—I know you are already doing that, but I want you to do more for people in need.” These were my mother’s words to her children as she sensed her time to go be with the Lord was at hand. Her words sank in, though the thought of losing her was too much to bear. My mother believed in
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y mother was born and raised in Texas. I was also born and raised in Texas. My two brothers were not as blessed. They were born in Oklahoma! Our dad was born in West Virginia. All of our lives start in a place not of our choosing. All of our lives place us in the context with other people not of our choosing. Not every family stays together. Some appear to manage better than others. Why is this so? What’s the determining factor that holds a family together?
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Sometimes my mother says, “I wish I would have…” in reference to some inner feeling of motherly failure, and I stop her before she can say more. Because her three children love beauty. They’ve had the courage to follow their dreams. And they all love Jesus. I can think of no better gift a mother can give.
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—Aimee Colbert Pastoral counselor and author, Fort Worth
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—May Olusola Publisher, MannaEXPRESS, Plano
—Jason McFarland MannaEXPRESS art director and graphic designer, Memphis
No doubt there are many solid and reasonable answers. mother’s nurturing is essential to the success of For the family I grew up, a major factor was the daily every child. Unfortunately, many people aren’t choices my mother made. In our most formative years she privileged enough to have a personal connection with stayed home. When we were teenagers, she worked but their biological mothers. —Sanele Ndebele got home the same time we did. She stayed married to a MannaEXPRESS contributor, husband with a drinking problem. My mother worked and was rarely emotionally available Johannesburg, South Africa to us. My grandma took it upon herself to represent Mom exemplified her love for the Lord and His womanhood in my life. She took me in as if I were her church by taking us to church. She didn’t drop us off. own and afforded me the opportunities that my own She attended with us. She wasn’t perfect, but she did mother couldn’t provide. Because of her influence, I’m the exemplify the kind of priorities and values she wanted us woman that I am today. to live. Thanks, Mom! This is my tribute to the “unsung mothers” who come —Hank Lamb to the aid of needy children. On the behalf of all of the Senior Pastor, Central Christian Church, Richardson children you’ve sincerely served, I say thank you. You are loved and appreciated.
would dine with us without our knowing it. I know what the Lord looks like—I saw him in the joy in her eyes! On December 28, 2010, the Lord called her home. She was 59 years old. At her funeral there were more than a thousand people who attended, and more than half of them came up to us and shared their testimony about finding the Lord through our beautiful mother Sue.
The day she met and talked with Mother Teresa—one of her inspirations—was one of the happiest days of her life. That occasion fueled an increased desire to do more for mankind. Till her departure from us on August 16, 2007, she never stopped giving. I salute my mother, Elizabeth A. Oyairo, this Mother’s Day, and I thank God that I came to this world through her.
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Something about that incident has helped me understand God’s love for me. And that’s the one thing Mum effortlessly does. Which is to model the love of God to me!
have been thinking of so much I could say about my mother. I could talk about her patience and kindness, which she displays daily in her job as a nurse. Or the way she is playful and funny, which I see a lot when she interacts with my nephew, her grandson.
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o honor one’s parents is the first commandment that comes with a promise—a long and prosperous life! I would like to honor my mother-in-law Susan Roaten, a true servant of the Lord. I married into the Roaten family four years ago, and even before my husband David and I had discussed marriage, Sue was buying us wedding gifts and baby blankets and clothes. She was confident that I was the one for her son, because her gift was prophecy and dreams, and when she was still pregnant with David she had a dream about me, right down to the fact that I would be called into ministry. All that the Lord showed her has come to pass. She is the one who brought me to Christ four years ago.
She is a woman full of life, character, and the wisdom of age. Yet in thinking of what I’d want the world to see and know about her given a chance through my eyes, it is her love that stands out the most. It almost sounds cheesy to say her love stands out because, well, isn’t that what mothers do? But I choose to talk about her love because it is the one thing that’s changed me, challenged me, and molded me. I’ll always remember an incident from my final year of high school. I had to pay my exam fees with a tuition topup at the same time. She had bills to pay, a lot of them.
In her bank account she had enough to pay my fees and She is my hero. She had such a beautiful anointing, and nothing else. She had a choice: spend that on her to-do list, which was important to her, or pay my fees. She instead of giving up on life when seriously ill, she was living the victorious life all Christians are called to. I chose the latter. asked her if she was one of the angels that Paul mentioned May 2012 • Volume 6 • Issue 5 • Page 10
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Manna Confidential Has sex become boring, disappointing, or downright awful? Then this column is for you. I’ll bet your husband (or wife) is ready for a new beginning too. “Let’s start over with sex.” Mrs. Happy
start the conversation.
There. I gave you a way to
Good sex has three elements: 1. Spiritual. God created sex; He pronounced it good; it is for the benefit of both the man and the woman; and it is righteous and holy and intended for joy. It is one of God’s most wonderful gifts to us. It can be one of the most thoroughly enjoyable aspects of marriage. God can line up our sex life with His Word. It’s there for the asking—but most people don’t ask. Yes, we can ask God for good sex. And we should. Will you dare to take this matter before God? 2. Emotional. If you and your husband aren’t getting along, you’re not gonna have good sex. If there isn’t a foundation of love and respect, a woman will not feel free and secure enough to respond to her husband sexually. Husbands, take care to be considerate and kind to your wives. Simply put, you ain’t gettin’ none if you don’t. Not because we’re rebellious or unsubmitted, but because our bodies just shut down when we’re disrespected or mistreated. 3. Physical. Technique is more important than us spiritual folks want to admit. Husbands and wives have to get good at pleasing each other. It can take time to develop skills and knowledge of each other’s bodies. The truth is, a man can be physically satisfied at some level—a pretty minimal level, mind you—more easily than a woman. Her sexual response is just more complicated. It involves more of her body. But God made her that way. Sex is costly for women—but when it’s great, it’s fantastic. (Mrs. Happy secretly thinks it is better for women, but she will not know for sure till she gets to heaven.)
nothing is happening. But because he seems so into it, she never says anything. So the same sorry act is repeated again and again, and since she is seldom if ever physically satisfied, she just gets bored with the whole thing. Or worse, finds it incredibly annoying and awful. Compounding the problem is that just about everyone starts out with the “missionary” position, which really should be considered advanced sex. Mrs. Happy thinks you should have to have a license to do it. Why? Because it’s probably the most difficult position for a man to control his response in. And he needs to do this for his wife to reach climax—slooooow down, brother. So, Mrs. Happy says, dispense with the ol’ man-on-top for a while unless it’s working for you. Back up. Sex is really all about playing. It’s the adult version of play. It’s fun, it’s creative, it’s exciting—and you save the best for last. You work up to the good stuff—you don’t charge right in. If your wife isn’t experiencing climax during intercourse (ask her), it’s time to go backward.
It’s there for the asking— but most people don’t ask. Yes, we can ask God for good sex. And we should. Will you dare to take this matter before God?
so many places. Men are fascinated by it all, but the knowledge doesn’t come automatically. Take his hand in yours and guide him as he touches you. If that isn’t working, have him put his hand on yours as you touch yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that—it’s not masturbation, because you are doing it together, for the benefit of both of you. He will love learning with you— trust me. Mrs. Happy has said it before, and she will say it again. Your husband wants nothing more than to please you sexually. That’s the biggest turn-on there is. Plus, if he pleases you, he’s gonna end up getting pleased a whole lot more himself. That’s what we call a win-win, sister. It would be good for your husband to bring you to climax without intercourse at first, using his hands. You will learn where, when, and how your body responds, and you can provide feedback (“mmm” works quite well) to your husband so he can discover how better to please you. Then you can have intercourse for his benefit. In the Happy household, it ain’t over till everybody’s happy. We aim to please each other. (Be patient; it can take months for intercourse to work for both of you. Practice, practice.) This being a family newspaper and all, Mrs. Happy can’t go into greater detail here. But these suggestions should help you get started on your way to satisfying sex. (P.S. Pornography, sex toys, and pressure to perform disgusting sex acts are all a slap in the face to your wife or husband. While God has given husbands and wives great liberty in the bedroom, we are still commanded to keep the marriage bed undefiled. Hebrews 13:4.) • Mrs. Happy looks forward to your comments online— just keep it holy, y’all. Kindly leave your response at www.mannaexpressonline.com.
Wives, let your husband get to know your body. Figure out how your body responds—and let him in on the learning experience. He’ll love it. First off, let him see you. That man finds you irresistible; the Word says your body belongs to him, and vice versa. Let him see all of you. Your husband is the one man in the world that you don’t need to be modest around—Mrs. Happy finds that to be very cool. Men are usually turned on by sight. So, make it a multimedia experience.
So, about technique. Mrs. Happy has observed that one of the biggest mistakes husbands and wives make is rushing right to intercourse. That’s like eating dessert for Instead of hurtling toward intercourse, have him touch you the first course. A lot of women don’t reach climax during with his hands. Back rubs are really nice—mmm. Especially intercourse—at least not easily. the lower back...then lower...you get the picture. Here’s a typical scenario: You have this guy who thinks doing the basic in-and-out is gonna do it for his wife just because of his wonderfulness—and she’s wondering why
Men have a tough time learning how to touch a woman. They don’t realize how strong they are. Our bodies are different from theirs and so much more sensitive in May 2012 • Volume 6 • Issue 5 • Page 12
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Which Is the Model Christian Family?
Put Away the Porn I
f you or someone you love is struggling with a porn addiction, take these steps to freedom.
At a men’s conference I sponsored recently in Philadelphia, some of FIRE IN MY BONES my friends took the stage by J. Lee Grady and got gut-level honest about their temptations. I was so proud of their courage. Shay, a young father from Ohio, admitted that he was exposed to hardcore pornography when he was only five years old. He began modeling what he saw in X-rated videos when he was just six. Another guy from Pennsylvania told the men in the audience that he began watching porn when he was a preteen—and this led him to sex with dozens of girls in high school. Until recently this man still battled the shame of his porn habit, even though he was a lay leader in his church. Jason, a youth pastor in northwestern Pennsylvania, preached to the men on Friday night about how to reclaim purity in our sex-saturated culture. Like so many of the guys in our conference, Jason had been exposed to porn at a young age. His lust could not be satisfied by masturbation or kinkier videos, so his addiction drove him to seek out multiple girls for instant gratification. That’s where porn leads.
be an “overcomer” when you really are a prisoner of lust, then please consider taking these radical steps. (And if you know someone who is battling this monster, please consider forwarding this message to him or her.)
M
1. Spill your guts. The first step toward repentance is honesty, and it must be brutal. To repent means to turn 180 degrees, so this decision cannot be halfhearted. It’s not enough to whisper a quiet prayer under your breath. To break free from a life-controlling habit as powerful as porn, you must talk to someone else. And you should do it sooner, not later.
GODLY MAN by Hank Lamb
college in May 2013.
James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed” (NASB). I have prayed with many guys about their porn addictions, and they have testified that the power of their sin broke the moment they admitted it. Sit down with someone (preferably a more mature Christian you know and trust) and put all your cards on the table. If you humble yourself, God will give you grace to change.
It’s not enough to whisper a quiet prayer under your breath. To break free from a lifecontrolling habit as powerful as porn, you must talk to someone else. And you should do it sooner, not later.
2. Get ruthless. Sin is deceitful. It loves to make up excuses such as, “No one knows about your habit, so it’s not hurting anyone,” “I deserve this little treat,” or “I can play with fire and not get burned.” Don’t believe the lies. Esau sold his birthright for a bowl of soup, and many men today forfeit their relationship with God by compromising with porn.
Thankfully all these guys eventually found Christ and discovered the grace to escape the porn trap. They are happily married today, and they’ve been freed from the shame of past failures. But I meet many Christian men who are not so fortunate. A huge percentage of men in church have given up trying to resist temptation.
You can’t break free from sexual sin by slowly backing away from it or taming it like a pet. The Bible tells us to “flee” from immorality (2 Timothy 2:22). You must lay the axe to the root of your problem. Cut off all access to porn. Say goodbye and slam the door in its face. And if you can’t stop looking at it on your phone or computer, get rid of your phone and computer.
If you are one of those men (or women) who wears a fake smile when you go to church, pretending to
3. Keep no secrets. Guys addicted to porn struggle with constant shame. They can’t enjoy prayer or worship
because they feel condemned. They can’t share their faith with others because they feel like hypocrites. And many Christian men are so full of guilt they turn to alcohol or drugs to numb their pain. It’s not enough to confess your sin to a brother once. You must stay in relationship with people who love you enough to confront you. Find one or two accountability partners and make a covenant with them to live transparently. And don’t wait until you fall to call for counsel. Contact them whenever you feel tempted. Send up a flare and ask for help before it’s too late. 4. Refocus your life on others. Lust is ultimately about self-gratification. When a young man gets hooked on porn, he can’t grow up emotionally. This is why some adult men in their 50s and 60s act like 13-year-olds when it comes to sex. They are stuck in perpetual puberty. You will never break free from the bondage of sexual sin simply by gritting your teeth and trying to forget the images you saw in magazines or videos. You must totally redirect your energies toward serving others: your spouse, your children, your church, and the needy people around you. Throw yourself into selfless ministry and starve your illegal urges.
y wife and I have enjoyed the privilege of raising and loving our three children. Our oldest, Caleb, has graduated from college and is working fulltime. Living at home this last year, he was able to pay off all of his student loans. Hallelujah! Our other two children will graduate from
I can guarantee you one lesson all three of my children have learned: Mom and Dad are not perfect! In his helpful book, Like Dew Your Youth, Eugene Peterson writes, “The task of the parent is not to confront directly the problems of the young and find the best solutions to them; it is to confront life, and Christ in life, and deal with that. A parent’s main joy is not to be a parent, but to be a person.” His point is, “The parent’s main task is to be vulnerable in a living demonstration that adulthood is full, alive, and Christian.” I have found this advice to be true. Rather than tell my kids they have to go to church, and have to read their bible, and have to (you fill in the blank), we’ve taught them by example that we get to do all of these things. We want to do them as an expression of our love and adoration of God. As you read through the Bible, you should notice that
there isn’t one family in all of Scripture that is put forth as an exemplary family. Not one! Our children will learn to love what we love, despise what we despise, and dismiss what we dismiss. Our examples, good and bad, will be mimicked. Be careful, Mom and Dad, how you behave. All three of our children made it a priority to attend church while in college. My daughter plays piano for a Baptist church and a Methodist church each week. My oldest son teaches a youth Sunday school class. My other son plays drums on the worship team. They do these acts of service as an expression of their love for the Lord. Mom and Dad cannot make their children love someone, do certain things, and behave in particular ways. Many try with unhealthy efforts of physical discipline (bordering on abuse in some cases), grounding, and removing privileges. All of these efforts can produce friction and detachment rather than lovingly talking with them to create respect and love for one another. The book of Proverbs offers some sage advice: “My son, obey your father’s commands, and don’t neglect your mother’s instruction” (6:20, NLT). “Sensible children bring joy to their father; foolish children despise their mother” (15:20, NLT). “So give your father and mother joy! May she who gave you birth be happy” (23:25, NLT). So exactly what is it we are supposed to be teaching our children? What is Christian parenting? In short, it is loving our children as God loves us. It isn’t about control or conformity. It’s emulating the father of the prodigal
5. Stay filled with the Spirit. None of these previous steps is possible without the Holy Spirit, who is our promised Helper (see John 14:16). Self-help is not the answer. Ask the Spirit to fill your life with His refining fire. He will go to the root of your unholy desires, burn up your lust, and give you supernatural ability to resist temptation. • J. Lee Grady is contributing editor of Charisma magazine. You can learn more about his ministry at themordecaiproject.org. This article is reprinted by permission from Charisma magazine online.
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As you read through the Bible, you should notice that there isn’t one family in all of Scripture that is put forth as an exemplary family. Not one! son who loved him enough to let him leave and squander his inheritance. It’s loving the oldest son enough to let him struggle with his hardhearted, judgmental self. In Parenting Without Perfection, John Seel observes, “Godly parenting is more about who we are as parents than it is about our children. It’s more a mirror than a rod.” Our deepest prayer and desire as parents is that our children will become mature followers of Christ with a clear sense of calling in their life. We must aim at making ourselves unnecessary. Here’s the aim, according to Seel: “The hour when we can say ‘They need me no longer’ should be our reward.” That is our goal, to lead them to become independent, to stand on their own two feet, and to make ourselves unnecessary. Like Paul, parents should be able to say, “We want to present them to God, perfect in their relationship with Christ” (Colossians 1:28b, NLT). • Hank Lamb is senior pastor of Central Christian Church in Richardson.
Manna FUN!
Rough Guide to Mother’s Day Gifts (You’re welcome.)
grace and grit by Sharifa Stevens
Mother’s Day is like a minefield, fraught with opportunities for disaster and possible maiming. It’s not as dangerous as, say, Valentine’s Day, but the lingering effects of a badly thought-out gift can be pretty uncomfortable.
This list certainly is not exhaustive, so let’s keep the dialogue going—leave your Mother’s Day gift ideas online...or your warnings.
For the Introverted Mother • Ask her about herself. You don’t have to buy a book of questions to fulfill this request. Introverted mothers (like me) want desperately to be known, and desire space to express themselves. Compounding this desire is a possible sense of loneliness that comes from feeding, clothing, diapering, cajoling, mentoring, cheerleading, chauffeuring, disciplining, cooking, cleaning...and seldom being asked a genuine “how are you?” Children can be inquisitive, too, by asking their mom what she was like at their age. • A Kindle. Reasonably priced, lightweight, and a treasure trove of literary possibilities. If your family already has an Amazon Prime membership, there’s the added benefit of a free lender’s library.
What is a million years like to you?
For the Motherless Mother
• Breakfast in bed...somewhere else. And that can be in a hotel that you bid on that’s five miles away. Somewhere she doesn’t have to wash the dishes that she just dined on, or make the bed after she leaves it. Drop off the kids at your folks’ house and traipse happily away for a night. • Dinner with a theme. If you can’t get away for the night, take her on a culinary journey. Ethiopian, Moroccan, Japanese, Thai, Italian—take her senses on a trip. Bonus points if the family can pull this off with costumes and decor. (Don’t forget to clean up and do the dishes.)
Solution to last issue’s crossword!
God: Like one second.
• Tissues and a hug. Even if you say nothing but “I know you must miss her,” or “I wish your mother could be here with you,” she will be grateful that you care.
Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you? God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny? God: Just a second.
For the Timeless Mother • Time nooks. Because when I wrote “timeless,” I meant that literally. You’d think that all of life’s conveniences, from indoor plumbing to iPhones, would make time to pray, to sleep, to accomplish an easier thing to grasp. Instead, we’re just more distractible, more prone to comparison and failure, and more likely to burn out. Help that timeless mother to carve out nooks of space for exercising, prayer, hairwashing (that takes time for me!). Then guard those nooks so she has space to just be. • Multiple Mother’s Days. Who says Mother’s Day should only be once a year? Make it once a month! And preferably on a Friday or Saturday, so half the evening isn’t spent prepping for the following work/school day. A friend told me that if she was in charge of Mother’s Day, it wouldn’t be on a Sunday.
The best gifts are those that are chosen with attention and care and given with joy. As in, don’t give a gym membership to the mom who gave birth last week.
For the Mother with Wanderlust
Bad Bob! continued from the last issue
Mortal: What is a million years like to you?
Denomination A woman went to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. “What demonination?” Asked the clerk.
For the Unspoiled Mother • Spa day. I don’t know one mother who would refuse a good Swedish massage or a mani/pedi. If you’re treating your wife and you don’t have bank for the spa, husbands, it can actually be more special if you do it yourself. You can find instructions online. (But don’t skimp, dude. Mediocrity is worse than long toenails.) • A long, luxurious nap. Oh, yeah. All the mothers of newborns and toddlers are with me on this one. Nothing says “Happy Mother’s Day!” like taking on all of Mom’s responsibilities so that she can nestle under the covers and rest for a while.
For Every Good Mother
• Recognition—personalized. The best gifts are those that are chosen with attention and care and given with For the Not-Yet Mother joy. As in, don’t give a gym membership to the mom • A day off from church. who gave birth last week. Also, cleaning appliances, Mother’s Day Sunday pantry items, and other stuff that will help her to serve (with some exceptions, you better are not thoughtful gifts. I’m sure) can stab at an • Room to be. Mothers, especially good ones, are not already tender unfulfilled completely defined by that role. Allow mothers room to desire for children. Those be professors, postal workers, writers, artists, engineers, who are not mothers can daughters, sisters, friends, wives. Give mothers room to be made to feel invisible be women. or inadequate. If it’s too • Respect. Her work directly impacts the quality of excruciating to go, skip it for a Sunday. If you’re in church the people around you. Ignoring her value may be leadership, please, I beg you; watch your words while common, but not correct. Good mothers (and you celebrating mothers on Mother’s Day. I think it’s great to don’t have to birth a child to be a good mother!) reflect celebrate mothers. Women, however, are complete not the creative, watchful, ever-loving, correcting, lifebecause of who they marry or whether they give birth; giving, nurturing glory of God. Respect is due. • they are complete because they are gifted and sealed by the Holy Spirit, saved by Jesus and beloved of the Father. Sharifa Stevens is a wife and mother, singer, and writer. She Any other gospel is anathema. earned a B.A. from Columbia University and a Master of Theology degree from Dallas Theological Seminary. She lives For the Mother with Wry Bible Humor in Dallas.
(OK, maybe this is just for me...)
• Gather the children and read all the verses in Proverbs that mention mothers. You can use net.bible.org for a quick search by book with the keyword “mother.” Don’t miss Proverbs 6:20 and Proverbs 30:17. May 2012 • Volume 6 • Issue 5 • Page 18
“Oh, my goodness! Have we come to this?” said the woman. “Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic!”
Why did God create man before woman? Q. Why did God create man before woman? A: He didn’t want any advice.
You and Your Bible Crossword Puzzle Across
1. keep this command without spot or ___ (1 Tim.6:14) 6. we know that our old ___ was crucified with him (Rom 6:6) 10. a rising, a ____, or bright spot (Lev 13:2) 14. Jesus of Nazareth, which was crucified: he is ____ (Mark 16:6) 15. The burning sand will become a ___, the thirsty ground (Isa 35:7) 16. before me was a ___ horse! Its rider was named Death (Rev 6:8) 17. not plant the body that will be, but just ___ ___ (1,4) (1 Cor 15:37) 18. Go ___ all the world and preach the good news (Mark 16:15) 19. bring forth ___ ___, and thou shalt call his name JESUS (1,3) (Matt 1:21)KJV 20. David made this a ___ and ordinance (1 Sam 30:25) 22. I will ___ above the tops of the clouds (Isa 14:14) 24. drove the sea back with a strong ___ wind (Exod 14:21) 26. For ___ commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light (Prov 6:23) 27. all that make sluices and ___ for fish (Isa 19:10) KJV 30. Above all ___ , guard your heart (Prov 4:23) 33. to another faith by the ___ Spirit (1 Cor 12:9) 34. son of man, take thee a ____, and lay it before thee (Ezek 4:1) 36. but lips that speak knowledge are ___ ___ jewel (1,4) (Prov 20:15) 40. one of the soldiers ___ Jesus’ side with a spear (John 19:34) 42. Then Job took a piece of broken pottery and ___ (Job 2:8) 44. ran greedily after the ____ of Balaam for reward (Jude 1:11) 45. vain for you to rise up early, to sit up ____ (Ps 127:2) 47. Bring me any ___ too hard for you (Deut 1:17) 48. learn to maintain good works for necessary ____ ( Titus 3:14) 50. whatever is hidden is ___ to be disclosed (Mark 4:22) 52. A whirlwind will ___ them away (Hos 4:19) 55. appeal, request (2 Chr 6:19) 58. Am I a sea, or ___ ___ (1,5) (Job 7:12) KJV 59. In an ___ to escape from the ship, the sailors (Acts 27:30) 63. they swarmed around me like ___ (Ps 118:12) 64. there ____ till ye depart from that place (Mark 6:10)KJV 67. So he sent him out of the ___ of Hebron (Gen 37:14) KJV 68. he tore the lion apart with his ___ hands (Judg 14:12) 69. a white horse, whose ___ is called Faithful and True (Rev 19:11)
Copyright 1983 by Jack T. Chick. Reproduced by permission of Chick Publications. Website: www.chick.com.
70. the sons of Esau, who is ____ (Gen 36:19) 71. Tell the Israelites to bring you___ ___ heifer (1,3) (Num 19:2) 72. I will take the ___ heart out of their flesh (Ezek 11:19) KJV 73. so is good ____ from a far country (Prov 25:25)
Down
1. The brasen altar, and his grate of ___ (Ex 39:39) KJV 2. this is the ____ of David’s mighty men: Jashobeam, (1 Chr 11:11) 3. there was what looked like ___ ___ of glass (1,3) (Rev 4:6) 4. But Esau ran to ___ Jacob and embraced him (Gen 33:4) 5. Your arm is ___ with power (Ps 89:13) 6. Joshua son of Nun secretly sent two ___ from Shittim (Josh 2:1) 7. a very long period of time 8. grandson of Terah (Gen 11:31) 9. bring it to thee in ___ by sea to Joppa (2 Chron 2:16)KJV 10. and keep some ___ between the herds (Gen 32:16) 11. and to decide all ___ of dispute and assault (Deut 21:5) 12. Man does not live on bread ___ (Matt 4:4) 13. the wicked ___ their bows; they set their arrows (Ps 11:2) 21. which shall not ____ of death, till they see (Matt 16:28) 23. is on his way to Timnah to ___ his sheep (Gen 38:13-14) 25. exiles who lived at ___ Abib near the Kebar River (Ezek 3:15) 27. he made a ___ of cherubim of olive wood (1 Kings 6:23) 28. Take a pot, and put an ___ full of manna therein (Exodus 16:33) 29. Roman Emperor 31. eyes they have closed; ___ at any time they should see (Matt 13:15) 32. Darius the ___ took over the kingdom (Dan 5:31) 33. The creatures ___ back and forth like flashes of lightning (Ezek 1:14) 35. keep away from every brother who is ___ (2 Thess 3:6) 37. anyone who says to his brother, ___ ,’ is answerable to (Matt 5:22) 38. In ___ ____ it shall be made with oil (1,3) (Lev 6:21) 39. I will give him ___ from all his enemies (1 Chr 22:9) 41. As fish are caught in a ___ net (Eccl 9:12) 43. graveyard 46. the sucking child shall play on the hole of the ___ (Isa 11:8) KJV 49. swords into plowshares, and their ____ into pruninghooks (Isaiah 2:4) 51. and neither did ____ nor drink (Acts 9:9) 52. every knee will bow; by me every tongue will ___ (Isa 45:23)
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53. ___ your treasure is, there your heart will be (Matt 6:21) 54. I mean not that other men be ___, and ye burdened (2 Cor 8:13) (KJV) 56. He brought out Israel, ___ with silver and gold (Ps 105:37) 57. units, parts 58. by him we cry, “___, Father (Rom 8:15) 60. for he commandeth ____ the winds and water (Luke 8:25)KJV 61. When the LORD God ___ the earth and the heavens (Gen 2:4) 62. he that ploweth should ____ in hope (1 Cor 9:10)KJV 65. snakes among them; they ___ the people and many Israelites died. (Num 21:6) 66. ___ ___not forget your precepts (1,2) (Ps 119:141)
Answers in the next issue!
I’ll Fly Away: The 43rd An nual GMA Dove Awards I
didn’t know what to expect as I traveled to Atlanta, Georgia, to cover the 43rd Annual GMA Dove Awards ceremony on April 19. Excitement and anxiety got the better part of me when photographer MANNA GROOVE Kevin Dukes and I pulled by May Olusola up to the Fox Theatre in downtown Atlanta. We managed to find a divinely orchestrated spot on the red carpet as an impressive array of Christian celebrities and gospel artists from all genres filed in. I was thrilled to snag my first interview with a very down-to-earth Nicole
Adams, Danny Gokey, and many others made the night an exciting one.
C. Mullen, best known for her song Redeemer. I asked her how she feels about her music touching lives. “It is not about me,” she said, “it is about Him and people getting to know Jesus Christ.” Comedian David Mann of Tyler Perry’s series Meet the Browns and Chonda Pierce—the “Queen of Clean Comedy” and author of six bestsellers—co-hosted the awards. Their bare-all rib-cracking jokes had the audience in stitches.
“Good and bad things that happen on a daily basis inspire the kind of music we bring out,” said three-time Grammy Award-winning sisters Erica Atkins-Campbell and Trecina Atkins-Campbell, popularly known as Mary Mary. On their new reality TV series, they explained that “We don’t watch our lives, we live it. We are opening up our lives for people to see it, and hopefully it directs them to God.”
Appearances and performances from gospel greats such as Russ Taff, Kirk Franklin, Donnie McClurkin, Mandissa, Jamie Grace, Jason Castro, Jason Crabb, Phil Stacey, Natalie Grant, Kari Jobe, Ruben Studdard, The Isaacs, Yolanda
Jason Crabb’s star shone bright as he won the Male Vocalist of the Year and Artist of the Year awards. “It just blows my mind,” he said of his Dove Awards. Kirk Franklin, the No. 1-selling gospel artist, won the
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Christian hip-hop singer LeCrae—famously cited by New York Knicks star Jeremy Lin as his favorite rapper— received the Rap Hip Hop Song of the Year and Rap Hip Hop Album of the Year. A shocked Jamie Grace won the New Artist of the Year Dove Award—at 20, she was the youngest artist to take home honors at the 43rd Dove Awards. “Just to be called a winner in this same building
where I attended my prom four years ago dreaming of meeting stars on the stage one day really blows me away,” she said. Other highlights included Yolanda Adams, Angie Stone, Karen Peck, and Crystal Lewis singing a tribute to Whitney Houston, while Natalie Grant, who won her fifth Dove Award for Female Vocalist of the Year, performed her hit song “Alive.” A cheerful and very pregnant Laura Story won the Dove Award Song of the Year and Pop/Contemporary Recorded Song of the Year for “Blessings.”
May and Mary Mary
Michael T ait, center
Eric Dawkins of Dawkins
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Contemporary Gospel Album and Contemporary Gospel Recorded Song of the Year—his 15th and 16th Dove Awards, respectively. MannaEXPRESS asked Franklin where he gets his inspiration. Laughing and smiling, he said, “It will take us staying on this spot for at least three days for me to share my personal experiences and how they inspire me.”
Wess Morg a
Other winners included: Group of the Year: NEEDTOBREATHE Southern Gospel Recorded Song of the Year: The Perrys Country Recorded Song of the Year: Karen Peck & New River Rock Album of the Year: Switchfoot Inspirational Album of the Year: Selah Praise and Worship Album of the Year: Chris Tomlin. For a detailed list of nominees and winners, please go to: www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/cms_ content?page=1484061&sp=1002. •
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Jason Crab
b wins Go
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Yolanda Adams, Crystal Lewis, Angie Stone, Karen Peck David and Tam
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the Browns
May 2012 • Volume 6 • Issue 5 • Page 20
Kari Jobe
Page 21 • Volume 6 • Issue 5 • May 2012
Kirk Franklin be
ing interviewed
How Will I Ever Get Over the Pain?
Better Than Fried: A New Kind of Chicken I
know there is no substitute for real, deep-fried chicken. But if you’re in a healthy, guilty, or conscientiousparent mood and you want to save time and the hot, oily mess, Soul Food try this. The dish uses by Joanne Cutting-Gray panko, rough-cut bread crumbs from crustless bread. It can be found at your supermarket alongside the boxes of regular bread crumbs. You could make your own as I have, but homemade doesn’t work as well. Why? Because the dry, rough cut of panko makes for a more crispy, crunchy chicken. Panko is no more expensive than a comparable box of, say, Italian crumbs. So don’t try to make this dish substituting regular bread crumbs. It won’t be the same.
toss it, then there’s no excuse. We are stewards of God’s bounty, after all. (Those of you who compost the tossed leftovers are forgiven.) Now you may be thinking, yes, but I don’t know what to do with the green beans that are getting old, the sauce or gravy left over from last night’s beef, the fruit going soft, or the egg whites I don’t need. My cooking teacher knew. She saved everything—the gravy, sauce, vegetables, fruit, even left-over pasta. And I learned from her. I save what I can by putting the leftover whatever in a small plastic container, labeling it, and popping it in the freezer. An old gravy can be the basis of a new one; an old sauce can transform something sauceless; the old veggies can be pureed and turned into soup. My teacher called hers “Pot luck” and served it in her exclusive French restaurant! I can’t bear to waste food, and I even save the juice from cans of cherries to make a luscious dessert sauce or add flavor to pies, cakes, or pastries. Believe it or not, you can even freeze left-over cheese for a cooked sauce.
The difficult part in breading anything is getting the crumbs to stick. I’ve found a secret that works not just for this dish but for any breaded meat. It’s letting the breaded chicken or chops air-dry on a rack for 20 to 30 Ever wondered how to get the bread minutes before cooking. crumbs to stick to the meat? I’ve found This is the difference a secret: letting the breaded chicken or between losing half of chops air-dry on a rack for 20 to 30 minutes the crumbs and keeping before cooking. This is the difference them locked on the between losing half of the crumbs and meat. The other trick is keeping them locked on the meat. the egg wash. The usual
Joanne’s Quick Tip...
recipe calls for dipping the poultry or chops in beaten egg plus water. This one uses only egg whites and cornstarch, which helps the breading adhere. I save leftover egg whites in a glass jar in my freezer, since I often make recipes such as custards that call only for egg yolks. Whenever I need whites, I just defrost the amount needed—about 1/8 cup per white.
A digression: a recent survey claims that Americans waste nearly half of their food. One reason is undoubtedly the over-large portions served in restaurants. But the main reason, let’s face it, is that we are wasteful. In part this is because of prepackaging in grocery stores, in part because we hate leftovers, and in part because we may not know how to cut down recipes. But if the final “in part” is that we just
Cynthia Diggs talked to God when no one could answer her deepest questions Unfried, Fried Chicken Two Ways Chicken: 2 chicken legs with thighs, and 2 breasts 1 cup Panko 3 egg whites, beaten with 3 t. cornstarch 4–5 T. unsalted butter melted 1/2 t. cayenne pepper 1/2 t. salt 1/2 t. pepper
OK, digression ended: back to the chicken.
Dip chicken pieces in egg white-cornstarch mixture and sprinkle panko on both sides, pressing extra panko into chicken if necessary. Mix salt, pepper, and cayenne with melted unsalted butter and drizzle carefully over top and bottom of chicken pieces. Dry on a rack for 30 minutes. Bake in a shallow pan at 450 degrees till well-browned and cooked through (about 30 minutes). Let stand 5 minutes to crisp. Serves 4. You can serve the unfried chicken unadorned or add the following.
Maryland Unfried Chicken Gravy
butter mixture begins to turn brown. (Watch carefully. It can burn very quickly). Slowly whisk in milk and cream until thick and smooth. Season to taste and add any unburned drippings and crust from baking pan. Serves 4 over rice. What makes this chicken so delicious is the crunchy taste of the panko, the spicy taste of the cayenne, the addition of drippings in the gravy, and…cooking the flour-butter mixture until it turns brown. By the way, I didn’t say that the flour-butter mixture is what the French call a roux. Now, if you managed to make it, aren’t you proud of yourself? • Joanne Cutting-Gray, Ph.D. is an author, scholar, and lifelong student of cooking. She lives with her husband in Savannah, Georgia.
2 T. butter 2 T. flour 3/4 c. milk 3/4 c. heavy cream or half-and-half Salt, pepper Melt butter in small, heavy-bottomed pan. Stir in flour and cook until bubbly. Continue to cook until flourMay 2012 • Volume 6 • Issue 5 • Page 22
J
ust about every little girl has played house with her baby dolls pretending to be a mom. It is a dream to grow up and experience the love of a child. I distinctly remember the wonderful relationship I had with my Guest Column mom growing up and even by Cynthia Diggs to this day. My mom taught her girls and even her only son the importance of having a good, God-fearing mom. I guess it was always in the back of my mind that I would emulate her one day and share with my children all that I learned from her.
many times I would slip off to my room and just cry after interacting with them. It was during these times that I would talk to God and ask Him questions that no one else could answer. I would also beg Him to take the pain away. It was here that I learned to talk to God about what was hurting me the most. My prayer life increased, and I found myself talking to Him more than anyone else. I was developing a relationship with God through my pain!
others in my purse, underlined them in my Bible, and even posted them in visible places at home. I declared my healing through prayers and God’s Word.
It was through constant prayer and seeking God for healing that I was able to understand why my womb was chosen. It is very hard to imagine your pain and your story being the one that actually helps someone as they go through the same painful experience. As I grew in God, It was also through my love of music that I was drawn to I discovered this was one of many stories that I would listen to gospel songs every day, and sometimes, I would have to share with women all over the world. It was just a even fall asleep with them on. I would listen to Yolanda couple of years ago that I shared openly and publicly with Adams sing, “I am just a prayer away,” and Tramaine a group of ladies at a prayer breakfast. Afterward, so many Hawkins’ words, “A wonderful change has come over told me how my testimony had blessed them and helped me.” I distinctly remember those two songs ministering to them to release pain they had carried for years. It was like my broken heart. I don’t believe I fully understood all of a light bulb that instantly came on telling me my pain And so it happened to me in my early twenties that I the lyrics at the time, but it was the Holy Ghost that led was worth it all. became pregnant through a promiscuous relationship. It me to them. I wanted my change! was never my desire to have a baby outside of marriage; It was my own mother who shared each year at Mother’s in fact, I was taught all of my life that if you play with Day that she thinks of me as a mom because of the love fire, you will eventually get burned. Needless to say, this I share with everyone and their children. I am thankful was not the happy time for me that I had fantasized about to her for being my very first mentor and owe her so as a little girl. I was constantly sick, and that alone made much for guiding me through this process. I speak today me really sad. My thoughts of a blissful pregnancy ended as a healed woman full of gratitude that God can turn when I was rushed to the hospital just to hear that my bitterness into a blessing! I am thankful to Him for baby had died. No other words have ever cut so deep or choosing me for such an assignment and allowing me to hurt so bad, besides the death of my own father. still be a mom to so many as an aunt, mentor, teacher, personal tutor, and godparent. • The first Mother’s Day after losing my child was devastating for me. I did not want to go to church or Minister Cynthia Diggs is a conference speaker, gospel singer, hear the word “mother” at all. Going to baby showers and an associate minister at St. John Church in Grand Prairie was almost out of the question. For years I asked myself, and in Southlake. She is the founder of 4Real Ministries… “How will I ever get past this?” I just couldn’t see it. Realistic Expectations About Life. I could not understand why I would have to go through something so painful. I did not have the best support system at the time; I was afraid, I felt guilty, and I just never felt like I would get over it. I was told not to talk about it, and I did just that. I carried this pain around for years and years until I allowed God to truly minister to me and take it away.
My thoughts of a blissful pregnancy ended when I was rushed to the hospital just to hear that my baby had died. No other words have ever cut so deep or hurt so bad.
I am thankful that I never stopped going to church, although many Sundays I was there in body only. Hearing the Word of God preached and remaining active in the ministries I was a part of helped tremendously. Through the teaching of God’s Word to Around the fifth year after my baby’s death, I began to others, I was convicted not only to read God’s Word but notice it was a little easier for me to be around other to study the same Scriptures that I was telling everyone children and even embrace a pregnant woman. I have else to read. I began to meditate on healing scriptures, always had a very close-knit family; nieces and nephews and my favorite one was Psalm 147:3, “He heals the continued to come into my life through my brother and brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” I kept sister. We noticed that the children would always take a reading it and reading it until it made sense. God is the special interest and liking to me. My mom believed this only one who can do this, I just have to let Him! I can was God’s way of starting my healing process. It was never honestly say that I let God do for me what He wanted to hard for me to love those children, and actually, I would do all the time. I learned I could not teach healing until love on them as if they were my own. No one knew that I was healed myself. I carried this Scripture along with Page 23 • Volume 6 • Issue 5 • May 2012
Demons for Dummies, Part 2 P
astor Taiwo Ayeni is an authority on deliverance ministry. This month, he continues his three-part series on the basics of casting out demons.
Before You Cast Out Demons You must be a person of prayer who is thorough in his dealings with God and strives for holiness. It is very important to wait on the Lord if you want to engage in this ministry. The following are essential:
• Consistent prayer life. You must be a person given to prayer. Prayer is the precursor to the acquisition of It is important to know power (Isaiah 40:28–31). Therefore, to acquire power Third Watch the patterns of behavior you must spend time with God in prayer. You need to by Taiwo Ayeni that provide you with have a strong anointing from God, which you could the evidence of demonic only have received through faithfulness to God in oppression. There are stages through which satanic prayer. In this ministry more than any other, there is oppressions or possessions manifest. When you begin to a strong dependence on the Holy Spirit. Prayer can observe the signs, it will help you identify what is going on. guarantee this. Regression. Prayerlessness; lack of fellowship, study, and meditation on the Word of God. Repression. One is hindered from expressing joy, love, and appreciation, and receiving God’s goodness and loving-kindness. Suppression. Being “pressed down” physically, emotionally, mentally; inhibited, inactive, uninterested, and unenthusiastic about spiritual things. Depression. Emotional dejection and withdrawal (for example, Saul in I Samuel 16:14, 23). Oppression. Emotional or psychological weights and physical distraction (Hebrews 12:1). Obsession. Overwhelming conviction about a situation that is not true of oneself—for example, a lie, poverty, disease, sickness, etc. Possession. Under full control or dominion by a force greater than oneself.
In this ministry more than any other, there is a strong dependence on the Holy Spirit. Prayer can guarantee this. • You must possess power to exercise authority. For divine power to back the authority you possess, you must do everything to receive power from on high through praying in the Spirit, meditating on the Word, and fasting. (Ephesians 6:10; Mark 1:27; Luke 4:35.) The Lord Jesus Christ Himself was praying “when heaven was opened” unto Him (Luke 3:21–22), and He was subsequently led by the Spirit and power in Luke 4:1, 14. He has given you the power, so connect to it (Luke 10:17–20). • The Word is required. You need to be familiar with the Word of God in order to cast out demons. The success
I have had in deliverance ministry has come through the relevant use of the Scriptures. The knowledge of the Word through the help of the Holy Spirit equips you with the spiritual sword for battle (Hebrews 4:12). • The ability to speak in tongues. Jude 20 reveals that we build ourselves up in our most holy faith by praying in the Spirit—speaking in tongues. You need the ability to speak in tongues before, during, and after casting out demons. When you speak in tongues, you speak the language of heaven, and demons succumb to this mystery (I Corinthians 14:2). • Faith. Without faith there is nothing we can achieve for God. It is faith that makes you stand on the fact that the demons have gone even though you don’t see them leave. It is essential to have faith in God’s Word and promise: “And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues...” (Mark 16:17). • The name of Jesus. The Bible tells us that at the call of His Name, every knee shall bow (Philippians 2:10). There is no other name under heaven that can guarantee salvation or deliverance (Acts 4:12). You must know and exercise this as a matter of fact. • The blood of Jesus and the victory on the cross are also potent weapons of war to wield in the battle against demons (Revelation 12:11; Ephesians 2:13–15; Colossians 2:14–15). Next month, to conclude his series, Pastor Ayeni describes the step-by-step process of casting out demons. • Taiwo Ayeni is president of Rehoboth Bible Ministries, Inc., in Grand Prairie, where he lives with his wife Abidemi and their son and daughter. You may contact him at rehobothbministries.org.
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