Gwenevere’s Gift Child’s memory helps parents bring comfort to others

By Melissa Wagoner

After Gwenevere Bush was born five weeks early on Oct. 18, 2020, she spent the first 38 days of her life in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) before finally being allowed to leave with her parents Melissa and Soren Bush, returning to their Stayton home.

Unfortunately, that happy homecoming would not last. Gwenevere’s health began to decline, and she was forced to return to the hospital, eventually receiving a devastating double diagnosis: Noonan syndrome – a genetic disorder that prevents normal development – and pulmonary hypertension, a type of high blood pressure that affects both the lungs and the heart.

“Initially the team was hopeful we could manage it [at home] but it moved really fast,” Melissa said, recalling another short trip to Stayton before Gwenevere was, once again, admitted to the pediatric intensive care unit (PICU) at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital where she would spend the rest of her life.

“She just wasn’t able to maintain her oxygen levels,” Melissa said. “And we couldn’t manage it at home.”

Instead, the Bushes spent their days at Doernbecher, getting to know their daughter and reveling in a personality that was nearly always cheerful, despite continued medical interventions.

“She was always very happy,” Melissa said. “And she didn’t really cry a whole lot. Initially they thought something was wrong with her because she didn’t cry a

Gwenevere’s Gift Father’s Day Project

Donations accepted at www.gweneveresgift.org between now and June 10.

lot but once her personality came out, we found out she just was a happy baby.”

On April 24, 2022, only 18 months after she was born, Gwenevere passed away, leaving two devastated parents. “I just started thinking that Mother’s Day was coming up,” Melissa recalled, “and I really wasn’t looking forward to that at all. But I wanted to turn that day into something good. And so, I came up with the idea that we were going to make gift bags for moms who had a child in the NICU or the PICU.”

And that’s how Gwenevere’s Gift began. Gathering donations of snacks, personal care items and notes of encouragement, Melissa began filling her daughter’s empty room with hope.

“I know a lot of people process their grief in different ways,” Melissa acknowledged. “But for me, giving back in Gwenevere’s memory and in her name helps me,

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Arranged in gift bags and delivered to moms only days after Gwenevere’s passing, the Mother’s Day Project was, for Melissa, a way to heal. And so, she continued, distributing another round of bags to dads on Father’s Day and to parents in honor of Valentine’s Day. “Our goal is to make the families who have children in the hospital know people are there for them,” Melissa explained. “I’ve been that parent in the hospital room, I know what they’re going through. Obviously, the kids are going through a lot, too, but there’s a lot of support for the kids… I wanted to do something for the parents because their mental health is important. And just knowing someone is thinking about you, it means a lot... It can feel really lonely sitting in a hospital room with your child and you don’t know when you’re going to leave.”

Registered officially as a nonprofit in April 2023, marking the one-year anniversary of Gwenevere’s death, Gwenevere’s Gift has continued to grow, providing gift bags to 38 moms this past Mother’s Day, and planning to provide just as many to dads on Father’s Day as well.

“Then our next goal would be for next year to include all of Doernbecher because right now we just did enough for people in the PICU, but Doernbecher has a NICU and a General Admission, too,” Melissa said. “That would be adding another 130 gift bags.”

Along with the gift bag expansion, Melissa also hopes to eventually establish a grant fund for those families who don’t qualify for financial assistance.

“I found that there are a lot of people that just barely miss the bar with services,” she explained. “Making a little too much to qualify but still having a hard time… When your child is in critical condition in the hospital the last thing you want to worry about is paying your bills.”

It’s just one of the many ways Melissa has demonstrated her understanding of what it’s like to care for a sick child and it’s why Gwenevere’s Gifts have already received so much praise.

“I’m almost in tears after opening my bag…” one recipient wrote. “The items really represent a family that understands what the needs are of the families going through this.”

Packed with items like high quality soap, for that comforting home-away-from-home smell, and coffee cards, “because you can never have too much coffee,” the most popular item has been the travel neck pillow.

“You are sitting in an uncomfortable hospital chair and often your child has wires, so you can’t move them, and that neck support is helpful,” Melissa explained. “And we did some eye masks and headphones so you can sleep in the hospital. Especially in a critical care unit the nurses come in a lot and there’s beeping and alarms. That is definitely helpful if you want to sleep because it is hard to get your sleep in the hospital.”

Currently accepting donations for the 2023 Father’s Day Project, which will be delivered on June 17, Melissa encourages anyone interested in contributing to visit her website www.gweneveresgift.org.

“We’re trying to include more gift cards for dads because they said the financial burden stresses them out a lot,” she said of the current goal, which is to help parents who are attempting to balance the need to continue earning an income with the desire to spend their days with their child and to help them feel understood.

“Our message for these families is: just as you are there for your loved one during this critical time, we are here for you,” Melissa wrote on her website.

“You are seen. You are loved. You are not alone.”

That is Gwenevere’s Gift.