Interview with Kristine Fowler Cirby, 2025 President of the Marin County Bar Association

Ingrid Carbone

Kris has been practicing law for 33 years. She received her BA in Law and Society from UC Santa Barbara and received her law degree from University of San Francisco. She is originally from Philadelphia but grew up in San Jose, California. She has resided in Marin County, where she currently practices family law, for over 30 years.

What do you look forward to in being the president of MCBA?

I would like to create more in-person events to reinvigorate our legal community in Marin.  While Zoom events are more convenient for all of us, they have created distance in our community.  Many of us work as solo practitioners or get caught up in our own work if we work in a firm.  It’s important to have social and educational gatherings where we can connect with our colleagues both in and out of our practice areas.

What made you want to become a lawyer in the first place? 

When I was 7 years old, I loved Nancy Drew books and wanted to become a detective.  Nancy Drew’s father had been an attorney, so my mom thought this would be a much more practical career and planted the seed.  In the 8th grade, I participated in a mock trial in my U.S. Government class.  I was the defense attorney in a case where 2 teenagers were accused of throwing a Molotov cocktail into a store.  The prosecution kept calling them “kids”, to which my teacher suggested that I object because “kids” are baby goats.  I won that trial and kept going.  I majored in law and society in college with a focus on political science because I briefly thought I would go into government. After taking the Impact of the Vietnam War class at UCSB, I volunteered at the local Vet Center and later interned with the Senate Veterans’ Affairs Committee in DC. While I didn’t end up taking that path, it has informed a lot of the civic work I have done outside of my practice, such as my involvement in MCBA. 

As a lawyer, did you always want to practice family law? 

No.  I started out interning in law school at a firm that focused on business law.  After law school, I worked for a small firm, and I was briefly assigned to the family law attorney.  I was the go-to person for the research and investigation on a big, high wealth case.  However, after I passed the bar, I moved to a firm with a focus on construction defect law.   I hated it.  The client was a faceless fireplace manufacturer.  I would attend giant settlement conferences and depositions where I would sit around all day waiting for fireplaces to be mentioned.  I missed family law where I had a relationship with the clients. 

You worked for the Family and Children’s Law Center for 20 years prior to forming your own practice.  How did you become involved with them?  

After I had my daughter in 1997, I realized that I could not balance my family life and work at my current firm where the billing requirements left little room for anything but work.  I came back from maternity leave behind on my hours because I tacked a week of PTO to my leave.  My boss wanted me to work weekends to make up the time even though I had an infant at home, so I left.  After a brief stint doing contract work, I saw a posting for a staff attorney at Family and Children’s Law Center.  The agency was one exit away from my daughter’s day care whereas my previous job had been in the city.  This seemed ideal.

I took the job for practical reasons, but my purpose there quickly evolved when I realized how much I enjoyed being a champion for the underrepresented.  I always wanted to help clients, but in a law firm, I was restrained by financials.  For example, I had a case in the firm where the client clearly needed a child custody order, but the partner told me I couldn’t get it because the client owed them money.  

At FACLC, they vigorously represented the people who couldn’t pay these firms.  They are one of the very few resources for these folks in Marin so there was A LOT of work. On my first day at FACLC, they handed me a file and said I was due in court in 30 minutes! 

Were you nervous?

I was However, as I was standing in line to check in with the court room clerk, the attorney ahead of me turned around and said, “You must be Kristine Cirby.”  I was confused until she introduced herself as Verna Adams, who was then a practicing family law attorney and on the board of the agency.  My nerves settled down when I realized what a welcoming community this was. 

How long were you at FACLC before you became legal director?

Not long at all.  The first week I was at FACLC, the executive director quit, and they hired a male interim director.  After that, two employees quit because they didn’t want to work for a man.  The board quickly realized that the executive director couldn’t do everything, and they needed a legal director as well.  I was hired after being at the agency for only 6 months.  

This was another big job, and I was nervous that it would keep me from being as involved with my family. My daughter was only 3 at the time, and I still had some PTSD from my law firm days.  However, shortly after I was promoted to legal director, I was scheduled to go on vacation, and I was going to cancel.  The board insisted that I go and even sent a fruit basket to the hotel.    

In 2015, I was promoted to executive director, and I left the agency in 2019.

Why did you leave? 

In 2019, my best friend from college had a massive stroke from the stress of her law practice.  I realized that I had been under a lot of pressure running the agency and taking on a full case load.  Shortly before my friend had her stroke, Rodney Johnson, a now-retired family law attorney, asked me if I ever thought of going out on my own and told me I’d be good at it.  So, I started saving money and planning, and on October 1, 2019, I started my own firm. 

What do you miss about the agency?

 I miss the camaraderie of working with a team. We used to have lunch together daily to decompress.  I also miss the number of people I was able to help.  During my time at FACLC, I helped 300-500 domestic violence victims.  I loved being able to help empower these clients in one of the darkest times of their lives. 

Do you still take on domestic violence cases?

Yes, but not in the same numbers.  This is really hard work.  It helps that I can be more selective about the cases I take.  At FACLC, I was stalked, harassed, and protested by opposing parties.  At one point, I had to take out a workplace violence restraining order against an OP for myself and the staff.

Rumor has it you have represented death row inmates in their divorce cases?

At FACLC, we would get letters from inmates on death row asking for help with their divorce.  I ended up taking on 10 of these cases.  I took them on because I didn’t feel comfortable giving them to my staff.  I visited death row three times to visit clients.  Two of these were contact visits, and the other was through the glass.  

Were you scared during the contact visits? 

Yes.  I had to sign a waiver saying that if I was taken hostage, San Quentin would not negotiate for my release.  For one of the contact visits, my client was in the Mexican mafia and had three tear drops on his face representing the number of people he had killed.  

In another of my death row cases, the wife objected to the divorce in court because she was sure her husband would get out, and she would get a lot of money.  These were very different than my usual cases.  In one of my cases, we were negotiating spousal support paid as commissary funds.  

So, how do you like having a solo practice after working in such an exciting and energetic setting? 

I really enjoy the flexibility of selecting my clients and managing my workload.  This has allowed me to get involved in the legal community in ways other than fundraising. I joined the Board of MCBA.  Then, I joined the boards of Rally Family Visitation Services and Community Violence Solutions.  I also work as a Judge Pro Tem for Bench/Bar Settlement Conferences.

I also like the diversity of my clients.  I have had to use my experience as a business attorney when working with high net worth individuals, and I still take on some pro bono and low fee cases.   

What are your favorite cases? 

I really like custody cases.  I take on a lot of high conflict child custody cases.  I like to try to lower the temperature in families.  I try to look at these cases from the child’s perspective and ensure that both parents are involved, whether I am representing mom or dad. I try to talk to my clients about the importance of having both parents, even if it’s just for limited contact. You take on a lot of hard cases.  How do you take care of yourself? 

Mainly, I am really good at compartmentalizing.  I honed this skill at FACLC.  I am also a big fan of weekly therapy, and I do Pure Barre to relieve stress.  Pre-Covid, I was invited to be part of a Facebook group of lawyer moms that grew from 1,000 members to 8,000.  These women are attorneys from all over the country in all different practice areas.  I have gotten to know these amazing women personally through FB events and annual trips.  I have gone on 6 of these trips to places such as Chicago, Santa Fe, and Santa Barbara.  It’s been really helpful to have a community of women who understand the challenges we face as moms and women in the law.