Welcome to Marin Waldorf School: Preschool 2020 by marinwaldorfschool

Welcome

PRESCHOOL 2020-2021

Dear Preschool Parents, We are eagerly looking forward to beginning our new year together and would like to welcome all preschool families into our 2020-2021 community. We have enjoyed meeting the incoming families and we would like you to have plenty of time to plan and be ready for your child’s first day of preschool. Creating a bridge between home and school through a common picture of what is important for a healthy childhood is essential to Waldorf education. It is our hope that we can all work together to deepen our understanding of how to provide nurturing support for your children in their first seven years of life. This packet provides you with information pertaining to the first days of school, preparing for the first day, articles for you to read over the summer, and a calendar for the year. We typically begin the year with a series of very short parent and child “mini day” visits before our first day of school. The front office will be in touch to schedule your mini-day when we are able to set dates for 2020-2021. On the day of your visit, please arrive at 10am with your child to your preschool classroom. On the day of your visit, please bring the following to school: ● Clothes bag ● Complete change of clothes inside the bag ● Your child’s inside shoes Traditional activities before the first day of school include our all-school work and beautification on August 22, 2020. The first day of school is Thursday, September 3, 2020, for the 2- & 5-day programs. Children attending the 3-day program will start on Tuesday, September 8. Preschool hours are 8:30 am–12:45 pm. If you are transitioning into Marin Waldorf School or are new to Waldorf education, you will find that we strive to provide and promote a quality environment for the developing young child. We acknowledge that during these unusual times, many of us have relied upon screens far more than we normally would. We hope that you will use these summer days as an opportunity to take up or renew your commitment to minimizing screen time and restoring healthy habits of connection with nature, the outdoors and each other. We cannot emphasize strongly enough the importance of freeing children from the influence of technology, both for their own well-being as well as for the group experience at school. Summer is a wonderful time for outdoor work and play, and to

discover the many alternatives to media entertainment for the young child. (Included in the packet, new preschool families will find an article on media and alternatives for screen time.) We encourage our preschool parents to read the book Beyond the Rainbow Bridge by Barbara J. Patterson and Pamela Bradley or You Are Your Child’s First Teacher by Rahima Baldwin Dancy. Your Child’s Growing Mind by Jane Healy and Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne are also excellent references. In addition, Waldorf Education — A Family Guide is a good overall reference book on the Waldorf approach. (New preschool families, please see articles on the stages of child development according to age.) If you have any questions over the summer, the office staff will do their best to provide an answer. Please contact Robin Boynosky, front office manager, at office@marinwaldorf.org with general questions, or Julie Meade, registrar, at registrar@marinwaldorf.org, for questions about immunizations, aftercare, and school records. You may contact us by emailing Ms. Leanne at leannetarantino@marinwaldorf.org or Ms. Sarah at sarahwhitmore@marinwaldorf.org, and we will get back to you at our earliest convenience. We wish you all a restful, playful, healthy summer and truly look forward to being with your beautiful children in the fall. Warmly, Ms. Leanne & Ms. Sarah (Buttercup) (Sunflower)

ITEMS NEEDED FOR PRESCHOOL Throughout the year your child will need the following items PLEASE LABEL WITH YOUR CHILD’S NAME (Some items can be brought in when the season calls for them.) ● Clothes bag (brought at start of year) ● Indoor slippers (brought at start of year. See description below.) ● Lunch basket or bag (plain, solid color) and reusable containers ● Extra Clothing (brought at start of year): Cotton tee shirts—short- and long-sleeved Socks Underpants Leggings or tights for girls Pants—one long, one short Lightweight fleece or wool pullover or sweater ● Rainwear: raincoat, rain pants, hat or hood, boots ● Easy-on/easy-off pants—elastic waists are best for school ● Warm jacket ● Sun hat ● Wool or winter hat Clothing Bag Please sew the bag according to the specifications provided. See enclosed pattern for instructions. The clothing bag will be kept in your child’s extra cubby. If you need help, you can reach out to the class parents for support. Indoor Slippers The children will need warm, form-fitting and slip-resistant shoes to wear inside the classroom. The Soft Star Roo Moccasins from softstarshoes.com or Wesenjak Slipper Moccasins (Boiled Wool) from sierratradingpost.com are preferred. Extra Clothing Please put an entire change of labeled clothes in the clothing bag, including multiple underwear, multiple socks, pants, T-shirt, a long-sleeved shirt, and a sweatshirt or sweater. Get into the habit of checking this bag regularly. You may want to pack extra pairs of underwear if your child is newly potty trained. Although we have “borrowing” clothes, most young children prefer to wear their own things. Rainwear: Raincoat, Rain Pants, Hat or Hood, Boots Our daily rhythm provides ample outside time, even in the rainy season. Rainwear should fit properly and snap or button comfortably. Please label every item. Many hooded raincoats don’t

fit well around the neck so check when purchasing. (We have found that snow boots are not good rainy weather protection for the children’s feet.) Rubber or plastic rain boots are essential on rainy days. Rain sets which are free of PVC plastic are best. These can be found at REI, www.atoygarden.com and www.puddlegear.com. The website: www.watoxic.org gives brands and types considered safe. (Please don’t send umbrellas to school with the children.) Lunch Items Basket or Bag Developing their autonomy, preschool children begin carrying their lunch to school. A small lunch basket, with a lid, is the traditional Waldorf early childhood lunch container and is easy for them to carry. (Baskets are sold in the front office.) Preferred Water Bottle https://www.kidslandusa.com/klean-kanteen-12oz-classic-bottle-w-loop-cap-green-moss/ *Please send a small water bottle that does not include a sipping spout. Lunch Containers We also ask that you send food in minimal packaging, without much recycling, utilizing reusable containers. We recommend the excellent Trio Bento Bundle from the company Lunchbots, either medium or large, whichever fits your basket and your child’s appetite. Find it at the link below. https://www.lunchbots.com/products/food-containers/lunchbots-bento-trio-bento-boxbundle/?color=Stainless Cloth Napkins and Place Mats With their growing independence and self care, the children will set out their own lunches onto a place mat with a napkin. You can make this with the same fabric you use for the clothing bag. (See the pattern included.) Or if you’d rather, you can buy two cotton napkins. When filling their baskets, place these on top as this will help them be more successful when spreading out their lunch. Sturdy Outside Shoes We run, jump, climb and play hard. Our ability to move freely is of utmost importance in the preschool. A basic, sturdy sneaker with velcro straps is ideal. The children’s shoes play a crucial role in supporting motor development, so please choose them with care. Shoes need to be easy to get on and off, as well as sturdy enough so that your child can comfortably participate in activities. Light-up shoes, high-topped sneakers, shoes with commercial characters, slingbacked sandals, clogs, dress-up shoes, and anything flimsy are not supportive for the active school day. Clothing Recommendations These items are recommended to have at home to wear at school as your child may need them throughout the year. •

Wool, silk undershirts or cotton undershirts. Two long-sleeved; two short-sleeved. An added layer provides core warmth for their developing organs during the colder months and assists in a healthy immune system.

• • • • • • • •

Easy-on, easy-off pants. Elastic waist pants work best and give your child the quick independence they need, especially in the bathroom. Complete rain gear: pants, lightweight coat with hood, boots. A rain hat adds extra protection. Heavy cotton tights or leggings for girls wearing dresses or skirts. Bike shorts in warmer weather. Sunhat Winter hat—a soft winter cap is essential almost every morning, even in the spring. Sturdy closed-toe shoes Fleece or boiled wool vest. Hooded winter jacket-with room for layers underneath.

The micro-climate at Marin Waldorf tends to be chilly in the morning, warming up by noon. Even when the late afternoons are hot, our mornings can still be cold and windy. Please send your child to school in many light layers that can be put on and peeled off throughout the day. Sturdy, comfortable clothing is essential. Pants are best for all kinds of play. (If your daughter insists on wearing a dress or skirt, she should start the day with heavy cotton tights or leggings in cool weather and shorts underneath in warmer weather.) Children should also have on socks and closed toe shoes. A fleece or wool vest over layers is a good solution for proper warmth in our changeable California weather. Hats for warmth in winter and sun protection for our sunny days are essential. Of course, please don’t spend a lot of money buying a new wardrobe for your child as many of these suggested items can be found at an upcycled clothing shop. Logos and media characters on the children’s clothes are not appropriate and best saved for home days. (Refer to the all school dress code found in our Parent Handbook, which is available from the front office.) Please don’t send your child to school in jewelry, watches, nail polish or tattoos. Hair accessories should be simple and functional. These things do not add to the quality of play and are a distraction. In the preschool, it is especially important that the children have freedom to explore and develop their own imaginations so please leave all valued items at home. Even a special rock or shell, which could get lost or broken, should stay at home or in the car waiting. A word about appropriate clothing and the young child who resists wearing it: With their developing individuality, preschool-age children can be quite assertive about what they will and will not wear. It is up to the adults to set the bar for what is acceptable with a firm and loving heart. Simple, emphatic phrases such as “We put on our coat before we go outside,” “We wear socks to school,” or “That’s a stay home shirt” should be enough. Labels or Name Tags All the children’s clothing and necessities must be properly labeled. Please label everything that comes to school in a place that is easy to find. Especially raingear and rainboots as many look alike and sometimes it’s difficult for children to recognize their own. A Sharpie or waterproof marker work well. We thank you in advance for this!

What to Know About Preschool Getting Ready for the First Day of School Going to school is exciting and can be an adjustment for some children. You can help your child prepare for this by creating a story about a little bunny (pick an animal your child loves) who lives with their loving mama and papa. One day mama/papa takes the bunny to a little grove by a bubbling brook where many little animals are playing. They tell him that soon he will get to play with all the animals and mama/papa will come back when he is all done playing. Let your imagination create a story of reassurance and warmth. Telling a story like this each night for two weeks before school starts will help bring a feeling of trust. If you aren’t ready to make up your own story, The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn is a sweet book that families have found helpful to prepare for the start of school. Arrival Time and Saying Goodbye The classroom doors will open to receive the children at 8:30am. We hope that all children arrive by 8:35 am as each child benefits from the rhythmical experience of starting the day together. Parents can help guide their children to put on their inside slippers and say goodbye in the cubby area. A short, sweet, simple farewell is best; two kisses on each cheek or one long hug, a reassuring statement of “I will see you after lunch.” The teachers will lovingly help your child transition into the room and the activity of the day. If your child is crying at drop-off time, please write your cell number on the sign-in sheet. Rest assured, we will call you if we can’t help them settle in. We have many ways to engage the children into the classroom so they are able to join the group experience. Usually, once all the parents have left, the children have relaxed into the routine. Lunch and What to Pack The Early Childhood classrooms are peanut free. Sunflower butter and other nut butters are wonderful options. Food preparation is part of the preschool day. If your child has special dietary needs, let the teachers know in writing as soon as possible. Please send your child’s lunch in a basket (preferably with a lid) or a soft-sided lunch box in a plain color. Foods that are organic, whole grain, and with minimal packaging are best. Please pack food in reusable containers, with a napkin, small place mat and utensils. (Be sure your child can easily open and close their lunchware by themselves, though we will assist them if needed.) Keep lunch and lunchware simple. Avoid sending numerous little containers or too many choices. Children are Page 1 of 4

satisfied with 2 or 3 lunch items: A sandwich or main course, a vegetable and a fruit. (Please see the links for recommended lunch containers on page 2.) Young children need protein and whole grains, plenty of vegetables and minimal sugar. Sandwiches, dinner leftovers or soup in a thermos are some good ideas for lunch. We ask that you not pack any sugary or dessert items as fruit is a delicious dessert. We discourage any food items that have almost no nutritional value and are mostly sugar. Also, please do not send candy or gum to school. Please send only water to drink in plain reusable bottles. Pick-up time is 12:45 pm Children should be picked up promptly at 12:45 pm from the classroom. This is an opportunity to have a brief check-in, if necessary, with your child’s teacher. Once you have signed your child out, please keep him or her in hand and be respectful of the fact that aftercare has started in one of the classrooms. If you are going to be more than 10 minutes late and you have not found another parent to watch your child, please call the front office and they will let your child’s teacher know. If you are not at school by 1:00 pm, your child will be brought into aftercare and the aftercare rates will apply. Aftercare Program Aftercare is available Monday-Friday from 12:45 pm to 5:20 pm. During this time, the children nap or rest, have a light snack and go outside to play. The earliest children can be picked up is 2:30 pm, but 3:05 and 5:15 are the scheduled pick-up times. If you know in advance when you will need aftercare, you can sign your child up by contract. You can also use the drop in option, if space is available. Clothing Recommendations Please have your children dressed in practical play clothing and shoes that they can get off and on easily by themselves. Learning to dress and care for themselves fosters confidence and autonomy. It’s best to have layers on for the changing weather conditions at school. We ask that the children not wear clothing with images, light-up shoes, sandals, jewelry, watches, temporary tattoos, or nail polish. We appreciate your attention to this as bringing these items to school does not support the environment of the preschool as they can inhibit the child in creative play, become social currency and distract the other children. Potty Training As you know, the children need to be fully potty trained. This means that they need to be able to wipe themselves as well, but if they need assistance, we will provide it while wearing gloves. Working on this skill over the summer will ensure that your child is comfortable with this level of self care. As previously mentioned, please send your child to school in elastic waist pants or tights that are easy to get off and on in a hurry. We will, of course, help the little ones who are

Page 2 of 4

still developing this skill; however, it’s best for the young child to be as independent as possible in their ability to care for themselves. Mastering their needs allows them to feel capable and confident. Birthdays at School We celebrate birthdays as close to the actual day as possible and summer birthdays are honored at the end of the school year. Parents/siblings are invited to participate in the celebration and share highlights/milestones from each year of the child’s life and a wish for the year ahead. If you would like to bring a treat for our snack time, a fresh, seasonal fruit for the class would be appreciated. You will receive a list of the class birthdays and more detailed information. As much as you would like to preserve this moment, we ask that no photos be taken during the ceremony to enhance the mood of reverence for the young child. Birthday Celebrations Outside of School To minimize social difficulties, arrangement for non-school parties should be handled outside of school. Please communicate to the parents of your child’s friends when extending invitations. (Personal gift giving among the children should also be done outside of school.) We also recommend keeping birthdays small and simple as larger celebrations can be overwhelming to young children. A good rule of thumb is for them to include as many friends as they are old: 3 year olds, invite 3 friends; 4 year olds, invite 4 friends. Toys and Personal Items All toys, money, and special treasures are best staying at home. If your child happens to bring such things to school, we will place it in a safe place or above their cubby to take home that day. Wellness Policy and Health Practices The early years are a time of protection and thoughtful tending. We adhere to and likely surpass state licensing mandates for the education and care of young children. Now more than ever we are committed to providing this healing education to our youngest students. While we are starting back to school in unique times, we teachers have been diligent in researching and preparing best methods to support your children’s, your family’s and our own best health. Our frequent hand-washing and daily cleaning of the classrooms will continue as always. Our illness policy will be in full effect to protect the health of everyone in the preschool. Additionally, updates or changes from our state licensing agencies may come into effect and could override MWS policies or practices regarding illness. We will adopt the policies as they arise.

Page 3 of 4

In an effort to keep all members of the community well, plan to keep your child home from school if they or their family members are ill, or present any symptoms that could be contagious, such as fever, cold, cough or flu symptoms, nausea, diarrhea, rashes and any other communicable symptoms. If your child becomes ill at school, we will call you promptly and ask that you pick them up as quickly as possible. Rest assured, however, that we will care for them until someone is able to retrieve them. The physical nurturing and impeccable hygienic care of young children has always been core to Waldorf Early Childhood curriculum and practices. We anticipate a year filled with health and conscious care of one another. Waldorf schools are distinguished as centers brimming with vitality and well being. We are committed to maintaining this trend. Communication As the caregivers outside of the home, we are in communication with parents frequently. Formal parent-teacher conferences are scheduled for the week of Thanksgiving but we are available to meet with parents at a mutually convenient time throughout the year. We strive to practice direct speech at school. Questions concerning issues in the preschool should be brought to your lead teacher as clearly and promptly as possible. If you would like to schedule a conversation, please send an email specifying a convenient time to talk. We prefer face-to-face interaction but we can also schedule a phone conversation. At pick-up time, the teachers will share any important information about your childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s day. If you have questions or concerns, please donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hesitate to make an appointment with us: Ms. Leanne at leannetarantino@marinwaldorf.org Ms. Sarah at sarahwhitmore@marinwaldorf.org Any communication meant for the entire preschool parent body must be approved by the class teacher. You can bring it directly to your teacher or go through the class parent. Class parents will not send group emails without the prior approval of the class teacher. The Early Childhood wing is a cell-free zone, so please check messages before entering the play yards. We are looking forward to working together with you to ensure a healthy, smooth and joyous year!

Page 4 of 4

Marin Waldorf School Preschool Schedule Daily Schedule 8:30 am 8:35 am 9:00 am 9:10 am 10:00 am 10:30 am 10:45 am 11:10 am 12:15 pm 12:45 pm 12:45 pm 1:15 pm 2:20 pm 2:30-3:00 3:00 pm 5:20 pm

Welcome, doors open Artistic Activity Storytime or Circle Inside Imaginative Play Apples and Tidy-up Storytime or Circle Morning Snack Outside Playtime Lunch Dismissal Preschool Aftercare begins Quiet Time or Nap Peaceful Waking and Snack Pickup Window Late Aftercare begins Last Aftercare pickup time/Aftercare Closed

Artistic Activity Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday

Soup Making Breadmaking Painting, Making Vegetable Chopping Coloring, Making, Home Arts Snack

Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday

Golden Vegetable Soupâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;please bring a vegetable from home Buns with honey butter Oatmeal Porridge with Raisins Rice with Vegetable Salad Black Bear Beans

Marin Waldorf School | 2020-2021 CALENDAR AUGUST S

S 1

17-28 Teacher In Service Days

FEBRUARY S

22 School Beautification Day

10 11

SEPTEMBER S

28 29

MARCH S

2 Michaelmas Celebration

OCTOBER S

2 First Day of School for Grades 1-8 3 First Day for Kindergarten and 2 & 5 Day Preschool 7 Labor Day 8 First Day for 3 Day Preschool 10 Back to School Night

12 Indigenous Peoples’ Day

DECEMBER S

28 29

1 Annual Giving Fund Kickoff 4 Advent Spiral 17 Winter Assembly 18 Shepherd’s Play 21 Winter Break Begins

1 New Year’s Day

JANUARY S

7 Children’s Faire Set Up Day 8 Children’s Faire 11 Veteran’s Day – School Closed 23-25 Parent / Teacher Conferences – No Classes 26-27 Thanksgiving Break – School Closed

4 School Resumes 18 Dr. Martin Luther King Day – School Closed 23 Open House

16-19 Professional Development – No Classes

3/29 – 4/9 Spring Break – School Closed 26 Eurythmy Performance

APRIL

NOVEMBER

15 President’s Day -School Closed

7 May Faire

MAY S

31 Memorial Day

1 2

4 Last Day For 2 Day Preschool

JUNE T

28 29

8 Last Day for 3 & 5 Day Preschool 9 Last Day for K & Grades 1-8 11 Graduation

No Classes

Early Release Days

Teacher In Service Day – No Classes

Kindergarten at 12:30 pm Grades at 12:35 pm

Special Event

Sept 2nd Nov. 20th Dec. 18th March 26th June 9th

Board Meeting PA Meeting

PA R E N T S ’ G U I D E T O I M M U N I Z AT I O N S

REQUIRED FOR PRE-KINDERGARTEN (CHILD CARE) Starting July 1, 2019 Parents must show their child’s Immunization Record as proof of immunizations (shots) before starting pre-kindergarten (child care) and at each age checkpoint after entry: Age at Entry/checkpoint

Required Doses

2–3 Months

1 Polio 1 DTaP 1 Hep B 1 Hib

4-5 Months

2 Polio 2 DTaP 2 Hep B 2 Hib

6-14 Months

2 Polio 3 DTaP 2 Hep B 2 Hib

15-17 Months

3 Polio 3 DTaP 2 Hep B 1 Hib* (on or after 1st birthday) 1 Varicella 1 MMR (on or after 1st birthday)

18 Months–5 Years

3 Polio 4 DTaP 3 Hep B 1 Hib* (on or after 1st birthday) 1 Varicella 1 MMR (on or after 1st birthday)

* One Hib dose must be given on or after the 1st birthday regardless of previous doses. Required only for children younger than 5 years old. DTaP = diphtheria toxoid, tetanus toxoid, and acellular pertussis vaccine Hep B = hepatitis B vaccine Varicella = chickenpox vaccine

IMM-222 Child Care (1/19)

Hib = Haemophilus influenzae, type B vaccine MMR = measles, mumps, and rubella vaccine

California Department of Public Health • Immunization Branch • ShotsForSchool.org

Sewing Instructions for Preschool Clothes Bag, Place Mats and Napkins Purchase:

2 & ½ yards cotton calico in a small, subtle print* ¾ yard cotton solid or coordinating calico* 1 yard of ¾” grosgrain ribbon, cotton twill, or cord for bag tie

* Please note: You may wish to buy an extra yard or two of calico and save the extra fabric so you can make your child’s apron and bandana for kindergarten with the same pattern. Hints:

Pressing is of utmost importance in sewing. When you turn your items right side out, trim the corners and press the seams flat first, and then press the entire item flat. This will give a crisp, finished look. If you pass the cut edge of the ribbon over a flame, the nylon will fuse and prevent unraveling. These items will live in your child’s daily life for a long time, so take care with them. Be sure to pre-shrink the fabric!

Cut Out Pieces to Layout On Following Page Napkins: cut 4 pieces 19” by 19” calico Place mats: cut 4 pieces 12” by 16” calico and 4 pieces 12” by 16” in solid Clothes bag: cut 2 pieces 16” by 16” in calico Napkins:

Fold back all edges ¼” and press. Again fold edges over ¼” and press. Sew along the inside of edges with a zigzag or straight stitch. Done. Make four.

Place Mats:

Pin one calico and one solid piece, right sides together. Sew 5/8" from the edge, all the way around, leaving an opening 5" to 6" for turning. Trim the comers. Turn right side out and press flat. Sew the opening closed. Optional: topstitch ¼” to ½” from edge.

Clothes Bag: Fold the top 3” of each of the four side seams in 5/8” and press with the iron. This will become the openings of the channel for the draw string. See the diagram. Then fold the top edge of both pieces down ¼” and press. Fold the same top edges down 1”. Press and Sew. Each piece of calico will have a 1” channel across the top. This will be the channel for the draw string. Lay the pieces together face to face and sew around the outside a 5/8” seam starting 2” from one end of the channel to 2” from the other drawstring channel. See diagram. Run 1 yard ribbon through the two channels and tie in a knot.

YOUNG CHILDREN IN THE

DIGITAL A AGE: PARENTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S GUIDE Nancy Carlsson-Paige, Ed. D.

YOUNG CHILDREN IN THE DIGITAL AGE: A PARENT’S GUIDE

be a resource for you to depend on when you are trying to figure out about any screen, app, or digital device your child might want to use. From child development theory and research, we know a great deal about how children learn and develop and what they need in order to grow to their full potential. In this report, I’ll offer you six core ideas that come from the field of child development that can be helpful in evaluating screen and technology use with young children. We can use these ideas, not as a rigid rulebook of “shoulds” and “should nots,” but more as a guide to help us make decisions and support kids in this tech-saturated world of ours.

Nancy Carlsson-Paige, Ed. D.

When I talk with parents these days, they often say that their children’s lives are very different from what their own childhoods were like. Frequently, they name technology as the single biggest change in their kids’ lives—and in their own lives too. Many parents go on to say that their children are on screens more than they want them to be, and that screen use is often a source of conflict with their children. Many express uncertainty about however they are letting their kids use screens, and a sense that they might be doing it “wrong.” I’m hoping that the ideas in this report will resonate in a positive way for readers by providing some helpful new information and support on this challenging topic—that’s my goal in writing this.

SIX CORE IDEAS FROM THE FIELD OF CHILD DEVELOPMENT:

#1. YOUNG CHILDREN USE THEIR WHOLE BODIES AND ALL OF THEIR SENSES TO LEARN ABOUT THE WORLD. Babies and young children are always moving. They have to move. It’s the movements and use of all of their senses that drives their development. A lot of us in the child development field were delighted in the 1990’s when advances in neuroscience began crossing over into child development. The brain scientists were confirming that play and active learning are critical to optimal brain development. Neurons in the brain strengthen and connect as children move, explore, and interact in the world. Everything we knew from child development theory was supported by this new brain research.

Technology cascaded into all of our lives in a very short period of time. Many of us are struggling to make sense of it, to figure out how we can use technology well. It has been a challenge for every age group. Some of the concerns we read about are serious—the psychological effects of social media, the breeches on privacy, health issues like sleep disturbance, eye strain, and perhaps other effects waiting to emerge.1 Many of these risks have their biggest impact on young children because their bodies and minds are still forming.

The brain of a newborn is a little more than one quarter of the volume and weight of the Many parents find it hard to make decisions about adult brain. By the age of three, it has reached screen time for their kids because advice comes 80 percent of its adult size and, by age five, 90 from different directions and often conflicts. In percent. Neurons are strengthening and synapses the field of child development, are forming in the brain at a we have decades of theory Neurons in the brain faster rate during these early and research that can be very strengthen and connect as years than at any other time helpful as a guide for screen in life. children move, explore, and digital device use with interact in the world. young kids. These ideas can

Unfortunately, there is a dearth of specific research about how media use affects brain development. But what we do know is that the experiences a child has shape brain development. As the child moves, interacts, and uses her senses, neural activity in the brain is stimulated. One neuroscientist wrote, “You hold him on your lap and talk…and neurons from his ears start hard-wiring connections to the auditory cortex. And you thought you were just playing with your kid.”3 A child’s whole development, brain development included, is best supported when young kids have full-on opportunities to use their whole bodies and senses for activity, play, and social interaction.

In my view, this is a very fundamental point. We want to encourage young children to act on the world, to be interested in exploring everything around them. When we teach them early in life that an object—a screen--entertains them, we are undermining their inherent capacity for taking initiative and learning through discovery.

#2. YOUNG CHILDREN LEARN FROM DIRECT, FIRST-HAND EXPERIENCE IN THE REAL WORLD.2 Everything on a screen is a symbolic representation of something in the real world. You and I know this without even thinking about it. But young children don’t understand this. And it takes them many years to realize fully that what is on the screen is a representation of something and not the real thing. Even my grandson Miles, at the age of four, punched the television set because, he said, “I thought the bad guy was coming out of the TV.” The youngest of my eight grandchildren is Max, who is two years old and lives in Swaziland. Recently, we had a Skype call with him and his parents. Max kept reaching for the screen, trying to touch me, to play and interact the way

When a child looks at a screen, not only is she more passive, but also her attention shifts away from her own initiative.

Photo #1 Fisher-Price Newborn-to-Toddler Apptivity Seat

When we watch young children who are engaging with screens, like the child in photo #1, one of the first things we notice is that they are not moving or using their whole bodies. Their bodies are more passive as their attention is absorbed by the screen. The focus shifts from moving to looking. From acting on the world to re-acting to what’s on the screen. This is a very significant shift in energy and attention for a child. Further, there is something even more significant. When a child propels herself forward physically—to grab a toy, to crawl, to stand—she is taking initiative to act in and on the world. When a child looks at a screen, not only is she more passive, but also her attention shifts away from her own initiative.

we did when I was visiting him last summer in Africa. He was confused. It’s true that with more experience, young children seem to get used to talking to a screen version of their loved ones. Skype and various apps that allow for real time conversations can help children be in touch with loved ones who are far away, and many families are glad to have this way to connect.

children. And a majority of parents believe that early screen use is beneficial.4 But we need to be cautious about these claims, as companies can make them even if they are false or not grounded in research.5 Let’s imagine that the child in photo #3 is reaching for a ball that she sees on the screen. Think of all the things she could do with an actual ball. She could grab it, turn it over in her hands, roll it, watch it roll away, crawl to get it, throw it, bite it--she could keep on inventing new ways to explore the ball. And with each exploration, the neurons in her brain would be getting stronger, new synapses connecting.

Photo #2 Grandson Jake Skyping from the U.S. with his Guatemalan family

In the ideal sense, children benefit most from having direct experiences in the actual world of relationships and objects. This is because threedimensional experiences are wholistic, they involve a child fully—body, mind, and feelings-and this level of engagement is greater than what can be gained from two-dimensional experiences.

When I was in Swaziland last summer, Max was 18 months old. He was using a ball to work on a very important cognitive concept: object permanence. This is one of the most fundamental concepts in human development--the idea that when something is out of our sight, it still exists. Without this concept, humans wouldn’t learn language or math or be able to think of anything abstractly. We all constructed this concept in our minds during the first two years of life, and we did it by having lots of experiences interacting with objects and people. Slowly, we learned that things existed even when we couldn’t see them. Max spent a lot of time working on this idea last summer. He would roll the ball under the couch so it was out of sight. At first, he looked a bit confused. Where was the ball now? Eventually, he would crawl under the couch and find it. He practiced this countless times, each time getting a little more secure with the idea of where that ball was even when it was out of his view.

Photo #3 Enlight KiddieTAB Advertisement

In photo #3, we see a young child reaching for something she sees on a screen. This is an advertisement from the company KiddieTab that is promoting the use of screens with young children. It says: “The Benefits of Exposing Young Children to Modern Technology.”

Max wouldn’t have been able to build this important concept in his mind without having had direct experiences with the ball in threedimensional space. Seeing the ball on a screen would not have given him the data he needed to construct this idea.

There is a lot of marketing to parents that asserts the benefits of screen technology use with young

There are many concepts young children develop out of their experiences with three-dimensional objects. When we watch them, we see that they are learning almost constantly from banging things, dropping them, rolling them, mushing them around, covering them up, tasting them, rattling them, etc. I saw a research study recently that said that young children couldn’t transfer information learned on a two-dimensional screen to three dimensions.6 That seems obvious to me because of how they learn and need to learn in the early years. Presenting a child with images on a 2-D screen short changes a child by giving her far too little to go on, too little information on which to build concepts needed in order to build the foundation for later learning.

Photo #4 Block building in a Kindergarten classroom

#3. YOUNG CHILDREN LEARN BY INVENTING IDEAS. Children are active learners. They learn by interacting with other people and by having lots of hands-on experiences with all kinds of things around them.

Presenting a

Let’s look at photo #4 of children building with blocks. When kids build with blocks and with many other materials, they are working on a whole variety of concepts. One very important group of concepts relate to number. With blocks, kids classify them into groups by shape. They put them in order by length. They match them up in various ways. They do this usually while they are playing and this learning is happening naturally. These concepts build toward an understanding of quantity, a concept that is quite complex and takes time to understand, a concept we all constructed at one time in our young lives. child with

Children don’t learn optimally when we try to put images on a 2-D screen short If you and I look at different information into their heads changes a child by giving her objects--let’s say at a group of directly. Most of us probably far too little to go on, too little four giraffes, a group of four remember having to learn information on which to build watermelons, and a group some things by rote when we of four cupcakes--we know were in school. And most concepts needed in order to without having to think about of us probably know that we build the foundation for later it that there are four objects forgot what we learned quite learning. in each of these groupings, quickly. For genuine learning even though they look very to happen, kids need to construct ideas for different. But we didn’t always know this, themselves, in their own minds. This is the kind and young children don’t automatically know of learning that is real and genuine and stays it. They have to build this understanding over with us. time. For young children, whichever grouping is the biggest—takes up the most space—has the most in it. Without thinking about it, you and I can “abstract” the quantity of four from the materials and understand that these differentlooking amounts have a “fourness” in common.

This isn’t a concept that we can teach children directly. Like many concepts, children have to construct this idea from their own experience with materials. That is why having lots of experiences with a whole variety of real objects is critical to early math learning.

When we observe children, we notice that they are often working on these early math concepts spontaneously. I was in Guatemala where my grandson Jake lived, and he was five years old at the time. We had a lovely fruit salad one morning for breakfast. The bowl of fruit was out on the table for five of us to share. Jake went out to the table and set up the breakfast on his own.

In many early childhood classrooms these days, adults are teaching children by direct instruction through rote learning. Commonly, there will be flashcards with number symbols written on them: 4, 5, 8, 9, etc. Teachers will hold these up for children to name. But a child can call out the correct “name” of the numeral without understanding the “concept” of the number. He could say that “4” is “four” without understanding the concept of quantity. Unfortunately, in early childhood education today, there is far too much drilling of number names and other specific memorizable “facts.” Many adults are deceived into thinking that children understand concepts because they can parrot back the names of symbols. But children have to construct this understanding in their own minds through their ongoing actions on materials and in play with other kids.

Photo #5 Children work on math concepts in their everyday lives

He put a plate at each chair (one-to-one correspondence). Then he spooned three pieces of watermelon and two pieces of pineapple onto each plate (classification by three’s and two’s). Again, Jake was working on these pre-number concepts on his own, just through his own natural activity. During this same visit, I noticed that Jake was getting interested in counting. One day as we walked by the lake in his lakeside village, we saw some ducks on the water (there were five). He started to count: “one, two, three, four, eight!” He grinned at me happily.

Good early childhood education offers play-based learning experiences that allow children to build ideas through engaging activities. This is what active learning really means. It’s the opposite of drills and rote learning. The focus in a playbased classroom is on each child’s developing understanding and not on getting final right-or wrong-answers.

If Jake were in a classroom with an emphasis on direct instruction and right answers, the teacher would correct him for counting incorrectly. But actually, Jake was showing how much he already knew about number. He was matching the name of a number to each duck. He knew that those names referred to quantities. He stated the

Good early childhood education offers play-based learning experiences that allow children to build ideas through engaging activities. 6

names in an order. This was a lot to already know. But he still needed more experience before he would understand the specific quantity that each of those names referred to.

In addition, when children are learning through interaction--with materials and with other kids-they are learning about learning itself. They learn that they can have their own original ideas. They can create and invent and build understanding in their own minds. Because screen-based learning focuses on direct instruction and right answers, kids get the wrong idea about what learning actually is. In classrooms where children have too much direct instruction, they can think that knowledge and answers belong to the teacher. And when they learn by computers and apps, they can think the answers are in the devices. In both cases, the answers lie outside of the child, and are not within his or her own power to discover.

#4. YOUNG CHILDREN MAKE SENSE OF THEIR WORLD THROUGH PLAY. When you and I have experiences that cause us angst--maybe we have a disagreement at work, Photo #6 or something scary happened to us, or there ABC Mouse Online Curriculum for Children Ages 2-8 was a conflict at home--we tend to go over the moments of difficulty in our minds. We replay Unfortunately, most of the learning apps and the events mentally as we try to sort through computer learning games such as the example what happened. We might in photo #6, by their very when children are learning talk with someone we trust nature, promote the kind of and verbally describe what through interaction--with learning that emphasizes took place and how we feel. getting the right answers and materials and with other As adults, we have this ability learning by rote. Kids follow kids--they are learning about to use our thoughts and words directions and give answers. to process our experiences. learning itself With screens and digital But children don’t have these devices, they can’t learn by tools. The way that young children process and manipulating actual building materials. If they make sense of their experiences is through play. do have an app that lets them move objects around on a screen, for example, they will learn something, but far less than what they could potentially learn from having materials in their hands and discovering myriad things to do with them. The learning that comes from drills and producing answers does not provide as solid a foundation of understanding in a child’s mind. It is a more superficial kind of learning that does not hold up as well as the kind of learning that a child constructs through direct action on materials.

Play is so vital to young children’s emotional and mental health that it is sometimes called the engine of development. Play is universal among children, as universal as walking and talking. All children know how to play, and no one has to teach them. Surely, any activity that is wired into humans this way is critical for human adaptation and development.

When my grandson Jackson was two years old and I was giving him a bath, a small spider dropped down from above onto the rim of the bathtub. Jackson started screaming in fear of the spider. I was surprised and tried to show Jackson that the little creature was harmless, but he kept on screaming and seemed genuinely scared. So, I wrapped Jackson in a towel and lifted him out of the tub.

Children get better at playing the more they play. They need to practice every day so they can become good players.

Jackson’s spider encounter is an example of an everyday stress that could happen in the life of a fortunate child like Jackson whose basic needs—for a home, food, love, and security—are well met. There are forms of stress that some children experience that are far more severe The next day when Jackson came over to my than seeing a spider. But even in situations house after day care, I had some play things set where there is more extreme stress--often when out. There was playdough, a tiny doll (Jackson’s there is poverty or violence in a child’s life--play baby brother had just been born so he played with is a vital resource that can help children cope. I the little doll a lot), and a plastic spider—the have been amazed at the ability of children I’ve kind you can buy in a jug full of different kinds worked with in situations of violence and war of plastic animals. There was that are able to use their play also a little box on the table. to strengthen their sense of Because play is such a Jackson put the toy baby into safety and security. vital resource for healthy the box. He squished some playdough into a flat shape, development, it is worrisome to In observing children at covered the baby up, and observe the significant decline play, whoever they are and said, “The baby is scared of whatever their circumstances, in children’s play today. the spider.” Then he took the I look for the basic elements baby back out of the box, then of play that we saw in Jackson quickly returned it to the box, covered it with at age two: a story that comes from the child’s playdough and repeated, “The baby is scared own experience; some original parts to the story of the spider.” And, then once more, Jackson that come from the child’s imagination; some repeated the same little scenario. evidence of emotional benefit to the child (i.e., making sense of a situation; feeling positive, A two-year-old is just beginning to play, but we secure and safe; having fun). can see the simple and important elements of play in what Jackson did. He told a little story that Because play is such a vital resource for healthy was based in his own experience with the spider, development, it is worrisome to observe the but it was also partly from his imagination. He significant decline in children’s play today. projected his own fear of the spider onto the baby Children are now playing less both at home and and then found a way to protect the baby from in school.7 the spider with the playdough cover. Jackson In classrooms for young children, we’ve seen a repeated this little story several times, all the dramatic decline in play. The education reforms while getting a sense of mastery over what had of the last almost twenty years have pushed scared him. academic standards and testing down to our As children get older, their play becomes more youngest kids, even to preschoolers. Studies complex. Brain scientists would tell us that have shown that classrooms for young children the neural structures of the brain increase have far less play than in the past, less arts, as children’s play gets more complex, and the less recess, and more direct instruction and growing brain supports more complex play.

worksheets.8 These changes in early childhood education have been detrimental to all young children, but most harmful to black and brown children living in low-income communities where misguided education reforms have had their greatest impact.9 The loss of play in classrooms for young kids has robbed them of one of the greatest resources they have for making meaning of their lives and gaining feelings of mastery over difficult experiences.

Photo #7 Action figures of characters from the movie Frozen

Not only are children today playing less, but when they do play, their ability to create their own original stories has declined.11 The prevalence of screens in combination with the mass marketing of toys and products linked to screen media has affected how children play. When children see movies—for example, Frozen or Star Wars-and then play with the action figures, props, and costumes linked to these films, they typically act out the media-based stories and not stories of their own. The play looks very similar from one child to the next. Ideally, however, no two children would play in the same way. This particular influence of commercial culture has meant that not only do children today play less, but even when they do play, the experience isn’t as fully beneficial as it might be.

The loss of play inside of schools has corresponded to a reduction of play in children’s lives outside of school. Children are spending more time in front of screens — watching television, movies, and using computers, tablets and phones — than ever before.10 The time kids are spending with these types of media is replacing child-directed play, even among very young children. Many of us are familiar with issues relating to screen addiction, and all age groups, including young children, seem to habituate to screens. While there are many factors involved in screen addiction, different for each age group, it is worth noting that from a developmental perspective, young children may be especially vulnerable to habituation because of how their minds work. Young children are more swayed by what they see than are older children and adults who have a more developed capacity to think critically and to step away from what they are seeing if they choose to. Young kids live in the moment: they get engrossed with the images in front of them, and they are pulled in completely.

Also, the messages in media culture tell children about themselves and their world. There’s an over-representation of white characters in much of kids’ pop culture and more whites featured in leading roles, as well as a prevalence of rigid gender stereotypes—all of which can negatively impact children’s sense of self.12

#5. YOUNG CHILDREN BUILD INNER RESILIENCE AND COPING SKILLS THROUGH PLAY. After our visit to Guatemala the year my grandson Jake was four years old, I learned that he had cried for a long time when he realized that my husband Doug and I had left. The following year after our next long visit, I was determined to do a better job of helping Jake prepare for our departure.

Young children are more swayed by what they see than are older children and adults

The day before we were leaving to return to the U.S., I brought Jake over to the little casita where we were staying. I had some things to play with set out: my familiar home-made playdough, some popsicle sticks, paper, crayons and glue. I drew a simple house on paper with two stick figures and said to Jake, “Tomorrow, Grampa Doug and I are going on an airplane back to Boston” (he had visited Boston in the past). Right away, he picked up a crayon and drew his own “house” on paper. He put us all inside the house and gave us names: Mommy, Papa, Grampa Doug, Nancy, and Jake. On another piece of paper, he drew another “house,” ringed it with play dough and called it Boston. He put the same five people in there too. Then he started making airplanes. Jake glued two sticks together and put five people on the plane: Mommy, Papa, Grampa Doug, Nancy, and himself. He flew the plane from the house in Guatemala to the house in Boston. All of us were on the plane and all of us were in the houses together. He made more planes, always with five of us on them, and flew them all around the room and between the two houses. He was very engrosssed in this play and it went on for a long time. When it was time to wind down, I said, “Jake this has been really fun playing with the airplanes and houses. But remember that tomorrow, Grampa Doug and I will go in an airplane back to Boston.” I put two of his little playdough pieces on a plane and flew it to the Boston house.

Photo #9 Jake’s airplane with all of us on board

The next day after we had left Guatemala, Jake’s mom wrote to me to say that Jake woke up that morning and announced, “Grampa Doug and Nancy are gone. They went back to Boston.” He seemed settled and tranquil, with no sign of distress. Inner resilience builds in children over time. When children have the chance to play every day, they increasingly build skills that help them work through challenging experiences. Just in this one play episode, we can see that Jake was able to come to terms with an event that was potentially difficult for him. Instead of the feeling of despair he’d had the year before, there was a different confidence: “I can do this. I know Grampa Doug and Nancy left and I’m okay.” When children play this way over time, their inner resilience strengthens; they become secure in handling the challenges life brings. The materials Jake played with had a lot to do with his ability to create play of benefit to him. The materials were undefined and openended. With popsicle sticks, playdough, crayons and paper, he could make whatever he wanted. Giving kids undefined materials allows them to reach inward to create the props and symbols they need to get the most out of their play. This can’t happen when we give them defined toys or screen apps or games because the images are pre-set. They determine what happens in the play and impede a child from accessing his or her own imagination and emotional needs.

Photo #8 Jake’s house with everyone inside

interfere with a child’s own story and the needs of her own psyche. It’s a tradeoff we can keep in mind: More direction from outside means less access to the inner life of imagination and emotion.

#6. CHILDREN LIVE AND LEARN IN A CONTEXT OF SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS. There is a human, social dimension to almost everything a child does. If we look again at photo #4 of children building with blocks, we see that the children weren’t only learning math with the blocks, they were learning math from one another. They learned from hearing each other’s ideas and they also learned about getting along with each other as they played.

Photo #10 The Puppet Pals phone app

There are screen apps and games that many children spend a lot of time “playing.” Puppet pals, the app pictured in photo #10, is an Children’s emotional and social development example of a phone app. The creators of Puppet happens slowly over time, just as their cognitive Pals advertise the app as “encouraging creative development does. They play.” There are characters in develop awareness and skills the app--policeman, ballerina, Inner resilience builds in slowly that grow from their doctor, astronaut—and kids children over time. experience interacting with can tap on the screen to mix others. their heads and bodies. They can make the characters talk, move their limbs, Today, the context in which children are and put them on animals or vehicles to ride as developing socially and emotionally is changing they tell a story. rapidly and dramatically. Children are playing less both in school and at home and therefore, I watched two of my granddaughters as they have less experience interacting with other kids. played with Puppet Pals. They had a lot of fun And it seems, judging from the research, that creating the characters, making them move, many children have less time or less focused putting them on animals to ride. Almost all of time with parents.13 Many parents are less their time was spent this way. The story they available to children because of time spent with told was brief and confined to the characters and technology.14 Because child development theory actions of the app. would tell us that children need The more that elements on lots of social interaction for It can be helpful to realize that the more that elements a screen shape play, the less healthy development, it is a on a screen shape play, a child’s play can come from concern that they are getting less of it today. the less a child’s play can

within. come from within. And the It’s hard to pinpoint exactly less a child’s play comes what it looks like for children today to be having from within, the harder it will be to build inner less social interaction, but this story really made resilience and coping skills through play. All me think. My friend Joyce told me that she of the entertaining options offered on the screen recently rode on a bus and in the seat across from 11

her was a young child who looked to be about one year old sitting on the lap of a caregiver. Joyce said that she and the child began to interact. They smiled at each other, made faces, and went back and forth in their nonverbal communication. Suddenly, the caregiver whipped out a smart phone and handed it to the child who went quickly into a phone-absorbed state and never looked at Joyce again. This is one small example of one mobile device affecting one social interaction in a baby’s life. What will be the effect on children of an accumulation of countless social experiences reshaped by technology?

Soon after smartphones appeared on the market a decade ago, apps and tablets for kids became more prevalent. And as the prevalence of kiddie technology increased, something else began to occur. Parents and caregivers began to see an easy opening for using phones to amuse and distract children. What quickly became a common practice was to offer a phone to a child in a difficult situation--a hard transition, a conflict, a scary moment--or simply to occupy a child, like the caregiver on Joyce’s bus. It was an easy solution. Distract the child, end the distress, amuse the child, make life easier. But at what cost to the child’s social and emotional development?

When smartphones came out about ten years ago, many of us noticed parents on their phones with their children in public places like parks and restaurants. Teachers would tell me about parents on cell phones at day care pick up time, paying no attention to the child or the teacher, while continuing their conversations. Researchers began reporting that children felt “unimportant” when parents were on their phones; that they felt they were competing with technology for parents’ attention.15

A few summers ago, I spent a week with close friends, including five-year-old Quentin and his Nana. Quentin is very close to his Nana, he adores her. After we’d spent a full week together, Nana explained to Quentin that she had to leave in the morning to visit her own mom. When Nana pulled out of the driveway, Quentin let go with a painful cry. He wailed so completely, with so much sadness, as he watched his Nana drive away. I took Quentin on my lap and there he sat, crying. After a while, when I thought it might be possible, I made a suggestion: “Quentin,” I said, “I have an idea. Let’s get some paper and markers and you can make a picture for Nana and we can send it to her.” Quentin liked this idea. He was ready to feel better.

There’s a large body of work in the child development field on children’s healthy attachments and sense of security. While there are many important factors that affect children’s emotional security, having the consistent, focused, loving attention of an adult is a major one. Perhaps those of us who I set Quentin up at the table interact with children have What will be the effect on an opportunity here. We children of an accumulation of with the paper and markers and left him for a bit. When I can practice giving our full, countless social experiences came back to the table, I was undivided attention to children reshaped by technology? quite amazed. Quentin hadn’t at least during some times made a picture for Nana, he of the day. Doing this offers had written her “a letter”—something he had us a meaningful experience in the act of being never done before. present, something most of us find very difficult. Just staying in the moment of being with a child with awareness is a satisfying practice for us, and a true gift to children, one they sorely need today.

If I’d given him my phone, I would have bypassed all of that rich emotional experience he deserved to have. loss, to find the words to express those feelings, to write a letter to his Nana and to strengthen their relationship in doing so. If I’d given him my phone, I would have bypassed all of that rich emotional experience he deserved to have. Children need to have the full range of emotional and social experiences in order to grow that part of themselves. If we bypass those harder moments and don’t let children make their way through them, they will grow up without a rich emotional life and without the tools that develop from life experience. They will learn that when they feel bad, instead of looking inward to find the resources to cope, they can turn to a screen or something else external to make themselves feel better.

Photo #11 Quentin’s “Letter” to Nana

Quentin’s letter, pictured in photo #11, was written in five-year-old invented spelling. Maybe you can decipher it, but here is what Quentin told me it said:

CONCLUSION

“I MISS YOU NANA. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE? I REALLY LOVE YOU.”

Knowing how young children develop and learn, in my view, is the single most important resource we have for making decisions about screen use. The six core ideas from child development, listed on page 14, lead to specific suggestions that we can put to use when trying to decide how to handle screens and digital devices with young children.

When Quentin was in my arms crying hard, I could’ve offered him my phone to play with. Quentin loves to play games on the phone. (He’s one of those kids who gets his hands on your phone if it’s on the table, and surprise! You have a new downloaded app before you know it.) Offering Quentin my phone would’ve been a really easy option and one that would’ve distracted him right away from his pain. What a seductive option that is for an adult! It works so Knowing how young children effectively. But the problem develop and learn, in my view, is, it works only in the short is the single most important term.

resource we have for making decisions about screen use. If I had given Quentin my phone, he would not have had the chance to feel his feelings of sadness and

SUGGESTIONS FOR PUTTING THE SIX CORE IDEAS TO USE: 1. Surround young children with opportunities to move and explore using their whole bodies and all of their senses. 2. Provide young children with all kinds of objects to explore. And try to give them lots of opportunities for social interaction--remembering that kids grow cognitively, socially and emotionally as they actively engage with materials and people. 3. Keep children away from screens in the first two years of life as much as possible and keep screen use to a minimum throughout the early childhood years. When a child wants screen time, we can ask ourselves: “What is the potential of this activity for fostering imagination and/or social development? Is there a more beneficial, more fully engaging experience available for my child right now?” 4. Try to provide a space (even a corner of a room in an apartment can work well) and uninterrupted time for children to play every day.16 5. Give children undefined materials (playdough, art materials, blocks and building materials, household objects) to play with that will encourage the deepest, most creative and expanded play possible. 6. Try to pay conscious attention to our own use of mobile devices in the presence of children and try to set devices aside until later as much as possible. 7. Try to make screen use with children a conscious choice and not one we turn to automatically. 8. Try practicing the art of being fully present with children—giving them our full attention-- even if it’s just for a few moments. 9. Avoid using screens to occupy children or to distract them from difficult feelings or moments. Keep open-ended materials like playdough, markers and paper, building materials easily accessable. 10. Be alert to the school environment children have and advocate for classrooms that engage kids through playful learning and allow them to follow their own curiosity rather than the didactic learning that is so widespread today.17

www.deyproject.org 14

@DEY_project

REFERENCES 1. Hertsgaard M, Dowie M. How big wireless made us think that cell phones are safe: A special investigation, The Nation, March, 2018. 2. The field of child development defines “young children” as children from birth to age eight. 3. Frost JL. Neuroscience, play, and child development, Paper presented at the IPA/USA Triennial National Conference, June, 1998. 4. Zimmerman FJ, Christakis DA, Meltzoff AN. Television and DVD/video viewing in children younger than 2 years, Archives of Peditric & Adolescent Medicine, 2007. 5. Campaign for Commercial Free Childhood. FACT SHEET: Baby scam: Marketing to infants and toddlers. www.commercialfreechildhood.org. 6. Strouse GA, Ganea PA. Toddlers’ word learning and transfer from electronic and print books, Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, July, 2016. 7. Haidt J, Lukianoff G, How to play our way to a better democracy, New York Times, September 1, 2018. 8. Bassok D, Latham S, Rorem A. Is kindergarten the new first grade? ScienceDaily, January, 2014. 9. Ibid 10. Ravichandran P, DeBravo BF, Beauport MPH and R. Young children and screen tiime (TV, computers, etc.), National Center for Health ResearchYoung, 2018. 11. Levin DE, Carlsson-Paige N. The War Play Dilemma. New York: Teachers College, 2006. 12. Carlsson-Paige N. Taking Back Childhood: A Proven Roadmap for Raising Confident, Creative, Compassionate Kids. New York: Penguin books; 2009. 13. Radesky JS,Kistin CJ,Zuckerman B,Nitzberg K,Gross J,Kaplan-Sanoff M,Augustyn M,Silverstein M. Patterns of mobile device use by caregivers and children during meals in fast food restaurants, Pediatrics, 2014. 14. Dona Matthews, Turn off that smartphone, mom and dad! Psychology Today, November 23, 2017. 15. Caroline Bologna, Many kids feel “unimportant” when parents are distracted by smartphones, survey says. Huffington Post, July 2015. 16. TRUCE (Teachers Resisting Unhealthy Children’s Entertainment) www.truceteachers.org. 17. Michael Yogman, Andrew Garner, Jeffrey Hutchinson, Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, The power of play: A pediatric role in enhancing development in young children, Pediatrics, August, 2018. From the American Academy of Pediatrics Clinical Report.

NANCY CARLSSON-PAIGE, ED. D. Nancy Carlsson-Paige, Ed.D., is Professor Emerita at Lesley University where she was a teacher educator in child development for more than 30 years. Nancy has written many books and articles on children, their social and emotional development, and the effects of media on young children. Her most recent book is called Taking Back Childhood: A Proven Roadmap for Raising Confident, Creative, Compassionate Kids. In 2012, Nancy co-founded Defending the Early Years and is now a senior advisor at DEY. Nancy is an advocate for education policies and practices that promote social justice, equity. and the well-being of all children.

DEFENDING THE EARLY YEARS (DEY) is a non-profit organization working for a just, equitable, and quality early childhood education for every young child. DEY publishes reports, makes mini-documentaries, issues position statements, advocates on policy, and has an active website full of resources, blogs, and activist steps for early childhood educators.

www.deyproject.org

@DEY_project

© November, 2018 by Defending the Early Years. All rights reserved. Full report, Young Children in the Digital Age: A Parent’s Guide, available for downloading at no cost on our website: www.DEYproject.org

The Two-Year-Old Child While the one-year-old child enters the world of walkers and begins to comprehend physical space, the two-year-old enters the world of speech and language and makes an initial foray into social life. Children first repeat what they have heard others say and then practice using those same words in a similar situation. Affirmation by the speakers around them helps them consolidate their learning and soon they will be verbally expressing themselves appropriately in altogether new circumstances.

Development of language is a marvelous process to witness. The personality of the child emerges more clearly as he or she begins to talk. Two-year-olds delight in the sounds of words and take new interest in books. They will talk to and talk for their dolls, toys or other play objects. At a certain point, they will ask repeatedly, “Why?” Along with language acquisition, two other important developments occur during the third year of a child’s life. Parents will notice the first waking up of the feeling life, not the vast ocean of adolescent emotions or even the rolling waves of likes and dislikes of the 7-12 year-olds, but the clear emergence of a much more assertive, “yes” or “no.” It is also the case that the frustration at not being able to fully communicate his or her wishes, or not having them met, may bring on whining, crying or even full-blown tantrums. Conflict with playmates may also begin during this stage of development.

The second important development, sometime during the third year, occurs when the child stops referring to him or herself by name or in the third person and says, “I.” This is a further step in separation from the environment and towards self-awareness that is necessary for continued development and, in particular, for developing the initial capacity for thinking that will show itself increasingly once the child turns three. The strong will of the young child combined with the new “yes/no” consciousness will bring parents daily challenges! Being consistent with rhythms, allowing enough time between activities, and making transitions as playful as possible will minimize the potentials for child or parent melt-downs. Avoid meeting the child’s “no” with threats or bribes. Try saying, “When you have put on your coat, we can go to the park,” rather than saying, “If you don’t put on your coat we are not going to the park today;” or rather than saying, “If you put on your coat now, we can stop at the store and get some graham crackers to take with us to the park.” Use play and imagination to jolly your toddler along. You could say, for example, “Let’s put dolly in your pocket, because she might like to go to the park, too.” Another possibility would be, “Let’s take the dump truck to the sandbox; there might be some digging that needs to be done.” “Do it myself!” Parents of two and three-year-olds will hear this often. Having hooks and shoe racks at child height will help facilitate the desire to learn to dress and undress and also establish the habit of hanging up outer wear and tucking shoes and boots tidily out of the way. A specific challenge may be new anxiety about separation from one or both parents. This may seem to be a regression, but is more likely related to the child’s awakening feelings. Again, consistency of routines before and after the time apart is helpful. Also, “practicing” separation for short periods of time (10 or 15 minutes to start with) and saying, “I will come back soon,” and then extending the time apart gradually can also be helpful. If

parents are anxious at the time of separation, then the child will be as well. So, the most important support for the child is the parents’ inner state of trust and calm. Difficulty going to bed or to sleep can also be related to the child’s not wanting to feel separate and the above suggestions can be easily adapted for nap or nighttime challenges. A predictable bedtime ritual is especially important during this period. A doll, a stuffed animal, or a favorite blanket can be a great comfort to the child in this and other new situations. Some children play with dolls, imitating what they see parents do with younger siblings, but for many children, the doll represents an inner aspect of the child’s self and provides the child with a sense of companionship that allows him or her to feel less alone in the journey. At a certain point, the two-year-old will say “why” many times a day. How should a parent answer this question? The child is learning the concept of a question. Another commonly heard question is, “What are you doing?” (This may well be followed by “Why?”) The child is not necessarily looking for an answer, but is practicing forming a question. You will naturally answer a simple and concrete question. However, if the question is related to more complex phenomena, alternative responses could be, “hmm,” “I wonder why” or “because.” These will be much more helpful than abstract, intellectual explanations that the child is not yet ready to cognize. An imaginative picture as an explanation is more appropriate and satisfying at this age. A simple affirmation of the phenomena, such as “Yes, the trees are dancing with the wind, “ may also suffice. The gift of life with a two-year-old is the joy of communication and companionship.

Links T. Atchison, “Making Peace with Toddler Conflict,” from A Warm and Gentle Welcome (WECAN 2008) D. Udo de Haes, The Creative Word Chapters 9-11 (WECAN 2014) Books T. Atchison & M. Ris, eds., A Warm and Gentle Welcome: Nurturing Children from Birth to Age Three (WECAN 2008) S. Howard, ed., The Developing Child: The First Seven Years (WECAN 2004) A.J. Solter, Tears and Tantrums: When Do Babies and Children Cry (Shining State Press 1998) D. Udo de Haes, The Creative Word (WECAN 2014)

The Three-Year-Old Child The sky is not always blue for the child approaching three. Clouds drift in and out and the weather can be unpredictable, but the rays of sunlight that pierce even the darkest days are brilliant. The two-year-old claimed the world by naming it, but the three-year old astounds us with the verbal ability to express more and more complex relationships. Language has an inherent order and logic that helps the child develop the capacity for thinking. Thoughts first arise because of speech and are expressed through speaking. At a certain point, outer speech becomes inner speech and then, thoughts begin to arise ahead of speech. We could say that movement brought to stillness allows speech to arise, and speaking brought to stillness allows thinking to arise. Karl Koenig expressed this process in a fairy tale picture. He called thinking the sleeping beauty in the castle of the head that is kissed awake by the ”I.” The objectification of the world that is required for thinking is strengthened first by the freedom that the child experiences in uprightness and learning to walk, then by the power of language to describe things and relationships. The differentiation between the self and everything else culminates in the child’s saying, “I.” The sense of self as separate is referred to in developmental psychology as the emergence of self. The sense of oneness with everything fades somewhat with the emergence of self, but along with the capacity for thinking comes the capacity for fantasy or imagination. Imagination becomes the basis for a new kind of play that may have begun during the third year of life, but comes into fuller bloom after the third birthday. Play was usually a solitary affair for the oneyear-old, and two-year-olds typically engage in what is called ”parallel play,” but the three-year-old is genuinely interested in interacting with other children and in creating imaginative scenarios taken from real life or the world of stories. While adult help in getting started or sorting out difficulties may be required, three-year-olds slip readily into imaginative play.

The three-year-old is also becoming more confident physically and enjoys challenging him or herself in new movement activities. Even though the seeds for the emotional/social life and for thinking have already been planted by the age of three, movement is still the primary mode of learning for the child before the age of seven. At any given moment, it is likely that the three-year-old may have a different plan or agenda than that of the parent, and can be bold, assertive and quite stubborn at home. On the other hand, he or she can also be sensitive, shy and reticent, especially in new social situations, and in those situations will not want to be the visible focus of attention. Challenges for the parents of the three-year-old: Because of the child’s new capacities, it can be tempting to over-stimulate the three-yearold with intellectually oriented activities. This can be a hidden challenge for parents. Even asking the child many questions and giving them too many choices can tax their forces and cause unnecessary stress. Offering two equally good choices (for clothing, food or activities) is much more age appropriate than asking, ”What would you like for breakfast?” or “What would you like to do today?” Objects for creative or dramatic play are more essential and developmentally appropriate than puzzles or specifically designed teaching toys. There are many media options designed for young children around the age of three. In Waldorf early childhood education, however, we recognize the continuing critical importance of three-dimensional experiences for the child up to the age of seven. The long-term benefits for future academic success of supporting the development of their imaginative capacities and strengthening their will to stay with and play out their inner “thought pictures” has been well documented in recent studies. When is the right time to begin instructional classes or preschool? Again, play is the key. Is the class or preschool play-based? Are the instructors developmentally aware and appropriate in their approach? Too many different activities in the course of a week can leave both parent and child breathless.

Three-year olds are beginning to follow the thread of stories and can grasp the meaning of language that they would not use themselves and this can be enriching for them. The challenge with this new capacity for comprehension is that they may be frightened by scary elements, especially if the story is not being read or told by a trusted adult. A wonderful activity to introduce at this age is for a parent to tell the child, ideally before nap or bedtime, a story about the child’s day or a specific incident from the day. This is helpful for the child’s developing memory, good practice in creativity for parents, and can be a tender ending to the day. Some children like to hear about themselves in the third person, while others prefer to know already that the story is about them. Stories about simple everyday activities and excursions are just as satisfying as “adventure stories” for the threeyear-old. All of life is still an adventure. This is the gift for the parents of the threeyear-old: finding the spirit of adventure in everyday living. Links R. Long-Breipohl, “Thinking and the Consciousness of the Young Child” from A Warm and Gentle Welcome (WECAN 2008) J. Steegmans, “The First Three Years, Part III” from Cradle of a Healthy Life (WECAN 2012) Books T. Atchison & M. Ris, eds., A Warm and Gentle Welcome: Nurturing Children from Birth to Age Three (WECAN 2008) H. Britz-Crecelsius, Children at Play: Using Waldorf Principles to Foster Child Development (Inner Traditions 1996) S. Howard, ed., The Developing Child: The First Seven Years (WECAN 2004) S. Jenkinson, The Genius of Play: Celebrating the Spirit of Childhood (Hawthorn Press 2003) A. Kohn, Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason (Atria Books 2006) N. Mellon, Storytelling with Children (Hawthorn Press 2013) J. Steegmans and G. Karnow, Cradle of a Healthy Life (WECAN 2012)

The Four-Year-Old Child The world of the four-year-old begins to expand beyond home and the circle of family. The most intriguing new territory is social. Four-year-olds typically want to be around other children, especially if they do not have siblings. As a result of their new experiences, they may well “bring home” new behaviors and language. Four-year-olds still need regular rhythms and clear boundaries to give them the sense of security out of which to explore new areas and to counter influences that may not be consistent with what is happening at home. They can participate for longer periods in structured activities, but still need even longer periods of unstructured time. They like to run, can walk longer distances on their own two sturdy legs, and may enjoy riding scooters or balance bikes. The family may have already gone on camping trips, but now the four-year-old can be a fuller participant. Four-year-olds are ready for more complex stories and are particularly drawn to animal tales, stories with rhymes and repetition, and very simple fairy tales. In Waldorf nursery and preschool classes puppets are often used at story time, which help the children to experience the story more vividly. While the two-year-old played primarily with things and the three-year-old moved those things around, the four-year-old will still do both and add a dramatic, imaginative element to his or her play. Creative play, especially with playmates, is what nourishes the child’s development at this stage. Family life (of both humans and animals), daily activities, and the overcoming of household problems form the greater part of the content of this play. Dramatic play represents a healthy means of processing experiences that the child has witnessed and also of integrating new learning. Younger fours may need help negotiating differences among play partners and finding “win-win” solutions. At this age, inclusion is an important theme. “There is room for everyone.” “Let’s make our house bigger.” Helpful advice that adults can offer or model to playmates is to knock and ask, “May I please come in?” or “I have brought you a present.” Four-year-olds can be exuberant about everything, especially at home. They often need guidance in how to express themselves in consideration of others. While good manners may have been modeled previously, making this a priority at this stage is important. “Please,” “thank you,” “excuse me,” and “I’m sorry” should be family currency. The Child Development Year by Year ©WECAN 2017 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher.

family meal is the perfect time for social learning and modeling care for others and practicing appropriate mealtime conversation. Predictability in the environment and in daily rhythms were critical during the earliest years and continue to be, but now, clarity of expectations in social situations is equally as critical for the four-year-old child. Again, modeling is the best way to teach good manners and consideration of others. Long-winded preaching falls on seemingly deaf ears. Challenges for the parents of the four-year-old may resemble those of the previous years and also include some surprises, such as the new behaviors and language learned outside the home or from new playmates. The increased capacity of the four-year-old to focus may mean that transitions become tricky again. Many of the suggestions delineated in the description of the two-yearold will still be helpful, but parents will naturally need to adjust for the increased language skills and other capacities of the older child. Suggestions about limiting choices given for threeyear-olds also hold for fouryear-olds. That the child’s cooperative spirit in other settings is not always evident at home is what might seem new and puzzling. Parents may need to ask themselves if their four-year-old has had enough unstructured, self-directed playtime during the course of the day. This need can be well supported by creating both indoor and outdoor play areas that have an array of open-ended play materials that invite inventiveness and creativity. It may also be that the child is looking for more flexibility and playfulness in communications from adults. That may be a tall order at the end of a long workday, but if parents can find the spark of inspiration, the results can be very rewarding. Modeling good communication and negotiation between parents or with older siblings can also be helpful in building skills in cooperative living. One expression that engenders socialness is “Let’s,” for example, “Let’s tidy up together.” This takes the sting out of the child’s having to stop their chosen activity to do something that is necessary for the good of the family. Another expression that seems to work magically is, “You may…(fill in the blank).” What is being communicated here is that the children are being allowed to participate in something important, and doing so is a privilege, especially if adults carry the same feeling inwardly. Parents have found that both Child Development Year by Year ©WECAN 2017 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher.

of these expressions can be used very effectively for younger children as well. Potty talk, name-calling, and images that are developmentally inappropriate, whether from media or other sources, may well find their way into the life of the four-year-old. This requires a calm, even-keeled response by family members. Over-reacting will often escalate unwanted behaviors. Firm and clear statements beginning with, “In our family, we…(fill in the blank)” are the most effective remedy. This requires considerable selfdiscipline from parents, but is also an unavoidable yet valuable opportunity to clarify and communicate family values. The gift of parenting a four-year-old is the opportunity to clarify family values and begin creating the family culture. Links L. deForest, ed., Tell Me A Story, Introduction (WECAN 2013) R. Long-Breipohl, Supporting Self-directed Play, Chapters 1-3 (WECAN 2010) Books P. Bradley and B. Patterson, eds., Beyond the Rainbow Bridge (Michaelmas Press, 2000) L. deForest, ed., Tell Me A Story (WECAN 2013) A. Faber and E. Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen& Listen So Kids Will Talk (Scribner 2012) A. Kohn, Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason (Atria Books 2006) R. Long-Breipohl, Supporting Self-directed Play (WECAN 2010) S. Oppenheimer, Heaven on Earth: A Handbook for Parents of Young Children (Steiner Books 2006) K.J. Payne, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids (Ballantine Books 2010)