Preschool Packet 2023-2024 by marinwaldorfschool

DearPreschoolParents,

Wearejoyfullylookingforwardtobeginningournewyeartogetherandwouldliketowelcome allpreschoolfamiliesintoour2023-2024community.

Creatingabridgebetweenhomeandschoolthroughacommonpictureofwhatisimportantfora healthychildhoodisessentialtoWaldorfeducation.Itisourhopethatwecanallworktogetherto deepenourunderstandingofhowtoprovidenurturingsupportforyourchildrenintheirfirstseven yearsoflife.Thispacketprovidesyouwithinformationaboutpreparingforthefirstdayof school,apackinglist,articlesforyoutoreadoverthesummer,andacalendarfortheyear,among otherimportantinformation.

IfyouarenewtoWaldorfeducation,youwillfindthatwestrivetoprovideandpromoteaquality environmentfortheyoungchild.Weacknowledgethatduringtheseunusualtimes,manyofus haverelieduponscreensfarmorethanwenormallywould.Wehopethatyouwillusethese summerdaysasanopportunitytotakeuporrenewyourcommitmenttominimizingscreentime andrestoringhealthyhabitsofconnectionwithnature,theoutdoorsandeachother.Wecannot emphasizestronglyenoughtheimportanceoffreeingyoungchildrenfromtheinfluenceof technology,bothfortheirownwell-beingaswellasforthe groupexperienceatschool.Summer isawonderfultimeforoutdoorworkandplay,andtodiscoverthemanyalternativestomedia entertainmentfortheyoungchild.

Weencourageourpreschoolparentstoreadthebook Beyond the Rainbow Bridge byBarbaraJ. PattersonandPamelaBradleyor You Are Your Child’s First Teacher byRahimaBaldwinDancy. Your Child’s Growing Mind byJaneHealyand Simplicity Parenting byKimJohnPaynearealso excellentreferences.Inaddition, Waldorf Education A Family Guide isagoodoverallreference bookontheWaldorfapproach.

Ifyouhaveanyquestionsoverthesummer,theofficestaffwilldotheirbesttoprovideananswer. PleasecontactRobinBoynosky,frontofficemanager,atoffice@marinwaldorf.orgwithgeneral questions,orMeganSmith,registrar,atregistrar@marinwaldorf.org,forquestionsabout immunizations,aftercare,andschoolrecords.

Wewishyouallarestful,playful,healthysummerandtrulylookforwardtobeingwithyour beautifulchildreninthefall.

Warmly,

DaniellaBaker EarlyChildhoodDirector daniellabaker@marinwaldorf.og

ItemsNeededforPreschool

Throughouttheyear,yourchildwillneedthefollowingitems,inadditiontosturdyplayclothes forschool(readourrecommendationsforyourchild’sschoolclothesonpage3).Pleaselabelall itemswithchild’sname.

● Sturdyoutsideshoes

● Indoorshoes

● Sunhat

● Woolorwinterhat

● Rainwear:raincoat,rainpants,hatorhood,boots

● Warmwinterjacket

● Lunchbasket,lunchbag,orbackpackandreusablecontainersforfood

● Waterbottle

● Clothnapkinsandplacemats(sewinginstructionsincluded)

● Clothesbaglabeledwithyourchild’snameandasmallpillow(sewinginstructions included)

● Afullchangeofclothes,whichwillremaininyourchild’sclothesbaginthe classroom,including:

Short-sleevedcottonshirt

Long-sleevedcottonshirt

Socks(2-3pairs)

Underpants(2-3)

Pants

Shorts

Lightweightfleeceorwoolpulloverorsweater

● Emergencycomfortbag(fullinstructionsincludedbelow)

SturdyOutsideShoes

Werun,jump,climbandplay.Ourabilitytomovefreelyisofutmostimportanceinpreschool. Childrenshouldwearsocksandclosed-toeshoes.Shoesneedtobeeasytogetonandoff,aswell assturdyenoughsothatyourchildcancomfortablyparticipateinactivities.Abasic,sturdy sneakerwithvelcrostrapsisideal.

Thechildren’sshoesplayacrucialroleinsupportingmotordevelopment,sopleasechoosethem withcare.Light-upshoes,shoeswithcommercialcharacters,sling-backedsandals,clogs,dress-up shoes,andanythingflimsyarenotsupportivefortheactiveschoolday.

IndoorShoes

Thechildrenmusthaveapairofwarm,form-fittingandslip-resistantslip-onshoestowearinside theclassroom.TheSoftStarRooMoccasinsfromsoftstarshoes.comorWesenjakSlipper Moccasins(BoiledWool)fromsierratradingpost.comaregoodchoices.

Ifbuyinginlargersizes,pleasenotethatthekindergartenclassroomspreferrubber-soledinside shoes,likeKeds.Softrubber-soledshoesalsoworkwellforpreschool.

ClothingBagandPillow

Weaskallparentstocompleteasmallsewingproject,whichincludesaclothingbag&pillow, beforethefirstdayofschool.Theclothingbagwillholdanextrasetofclothesthatwillbekeptin yourchild’scubby.

FullChangeofClothing

Pleaseputanentirechangeoflabeledclothesintheclothingbag,includingmultipleunderwear, multiplesocks,pants,T-shirt,along-sleevedshirt,andasweatshirtorsweater Althoughwehave “borrowing”clothes,mostyoungchildrenprefertoweartheirownthings.

Rainwear:Raincoat,RainPants,HatorHood,Boots

Ourdailyrhythmprovidesampleoutsidetime,evenintherainyseason.Rainwearshouldfit properlyandsnaporbuttoncomfortably Pleaselabeleveryitem Manyhoodedraincoatsdon’t fitwellaroundthenecksocheckwhenpurchasing.Pleasedon’tsendumbrellastoschoolwiththe children.

Wehavefoundthatsnowbootsarenotgoodrainyweatherprotectionforthechildren’sfeet. Rubberorplasticrainbootsareessentialonrainydays.ThesecanbefoundatREI, www.atoygarden.comandwww.puddlegear.com.Additionally,ourschooloftenhostsawinter clothingswapinthefall,whichallowsparentstosharegentlyusedwintergearandrainbootswith otherfamilies.

LunchBasket,Bag,orBackpack

Tosupporttheirdevelopingautonomy,preschoolchildrenbegincarryingtheirownlunchto school.Asmallwoodenlunchbasket,withalidthechildrencandecorate,isthetraditional Waldorfpreschoollunchcontainerandiseasyforthemtocarry.(Basketsaresoldinthefront office.)Anyotherplain,easy-to-openlunchcontainercanbeusedinlieuofthebasket.

LunchContainers

Wealsoaskthatyousendfoodinminimalpackaging,withoutmuchrecycling,utilizingreusable containers.

WaterBottle

Pleasesendasmallwaterbottlewithyourchild’snameonit.

ClothNapkinsandPlaceMats

Withtheirgrowingindependenceandself-care,thechildrenwillsettheirownlunchesontoa placematwithanapkineveryday.Youcanmakethiswiththesamefabricyouuseforthe clothingbag.(Seethepatternincluded.)Whenfillingtheirbasketsathome,placethematsontop orinaneasy-to-accesspocketasthiswillhelpthembemoresuccessfulwhenspreadingouttheir lunch.

ChoosingClothesforSchool

Themicro-climateatMarinWaldorftendstobechillyinthemorning,warmingupbynoon.Even whenthelateafternoonsarehot,ourmorningscanstillbecoldandwindy.Pleasesendyourchild toschoolinmanylightlayersthatcanbeputonandoffthroughouttheday.

Sturdy,comfortableclothingisessential.Pantsarebestforallkindsofplay Ifyourchildis wearingadressorskirt,theyshouldstartthedaywithheavycottontightsorleggingsincool weatherandshortsunderneathinwarmerweather

Werecommendthefollowingitemsforusethroughouttheyear.

● Wool,silkundershirtsorcottonundershirts.Twolong-sleeved;twoshort-sleeved.An addedlayerprovidescorewarmthfortheirdevelopingorgansduringthecoldermonths andassistsinmaintainingahealthyimmunesystem.

● Easy-on,easy-offpants.Elasticwaistpantsworkbestandgiveyourchildthequick independencetheyneed,especiallyinthebathroom.

● Completeraingear:pants,lightweightcoatwithhood,boots.Arainhataddsextra protection.

● Heavycottontightsorleggingsforchildrenwearingdressesorskirts. Bikeshortsin warmerweather.

● Sunhat

● Winterhat—asoftwintercapisessentialalmosteverymorning,eveninthespring.

● Sturdyclosed-toeshoes

● Fleeceorboiledwoolvest.

● Hoodedwinterjacketwithroomforlayersunderneath.

Logosandmediacharactersonthechildren’sclothesarenotappropriateatschoolandbestsaved forhomedays.Inaddition,werequestyourefrainfromsendingyourchildtoschoolinjewelry, watches,nailpolishortattoos.Thesethingsdonotaddtothequalityofplayandcanbea distraction.Inthepreschool,itisespeciallyimportantthatthechildrenhavefreedomtoexplore anddeveloptheirownimaginationssopleaseleaveallvalueditemsathome.Evenaspecialrock orshellthatcouldgetlostorbroken,shouldstayathomeorinthecarwaitingforthem.

Areminderthatwiththeirdevelopingindividuality,preschoolagechildrencanbequiteassertive aboutwhattheywillandwillnotwear Asadults,wecanguidethemwithsimple,emphatic phrasessuchas“Weputonourcoatbeforewegooutside,”“Wewearsockstoschool”or“That’s astayhomeshirt.”

LabelsandNameTags

Allthechildren’sclothingandnecessitiesmustbeproperlylabeled.Pleaselabeleverythingthat comestoschoolinaplacethatiseasytofind,especiallyraingearandrainbootsasmanylook alike.ASharpieorwaterproofmarkerworkwell.Wethankyouinadvanceforthis!

GettingReadyfortheFirstDayofSchool

Goingtoschoolisexcitingandcanbeanadjustmentforsomechildren.Youcanhelpyourchild prepareforthisbycreatingastoryaboutalittlebunny(pickananimalyourchildloves)who liveswiththeirlovingparent/caregiver.Onedaymamapapa,parentorcaregivertakesthebunny toalittlegrovebyabubblingbrookwheremanylittleanimalsareplaying.Theytellherthat soonshewillgettoplaywithalltheanimalsandmama/papawillcomebackwhensheisall doneplaying.

Letyourimaginationcreateastoryofreassuranceandwarmth.Tellingastorylikethiseach nightfortwoweeksbeforeschoolstartswillhelpbringafeelingoftrust.Ifyouaren’treadyto makeupyourownstory, The Kissing Hand byAudreyPennisasweetbookthatfamilieshave foundhelpfultoprepareforthestartofschool.

ArrivalTimeandSayingGoodbye

Wearereadytoreceivethechildrenattheclassroomdoorat8:30am.Punctualityisimportant, aschildrenbenefitfromtherhythmicalexperienceofstartingthedaytogether.

Ashort,sweet,simplefarewellisbest;ahugandakiss,areassuringstatementof“Iwillseeyou soon.”Theteacherswilllovinglyhelpyourchildtransitionintotheroomandtheactivityofthe day.Ifyourchildiscryingatdrop-offtime,restassured,wewillcallyouifwecan’thelpthem settlein.Wehavemanywaystoengagethechildrenintotheclassroom.Usually,onceallthe parentshaveleft,thechildrenhaverelaxedintotheroutine.

SnackandLunch

Everydayinthepreschool,weprepareafresh,warmsnackintheclassroomandthenweeat together.Ifyourchildhasallergiesorspecialdietaryneedsorrestrictions,pleaselettheteachers knowinwritingassoonaspossible.Dependingonthefoodsthatarerestricted,itmaybe necessarytoprovidealternativesnacksforyourchildtoeatduringoursharedsnacktime.

Pleasesendyourchild’slunchinabasket(preferablywithalid),asoft-sidedlunchboxina plaincolor,orinabackpack.Whenpossible,foodsthatareorganic,wholegrain,andwith minimalpackagingarerecommended.Pleasepackfoodinreusablecontainers,withanapkin, placemat,andutensils.(Besureyourchildcaneasilyopenandclosetheirlunchwareby themselves,thoughwewillassistthemifneeded.)

WhattoKnowAboutPreschool

Keeplunchandlunchwaresimple.Avoidsendingnumerouslittlecontainersortoomany choices.Childrenaresatisfiedwith2or3lunchitems:Asandwichormaincourse,avegetable andafruit.Youngchildrenneedproteinandwholegrains,plentyofvegetablesandminimal sugar.Sandwiches,dinnerleftoversorsoupinathermosaresomegoodideasforlunch.

Weaskthatyounotpackanysugaryordessertitemsasfruitisadeliciousdessert.Pleasesend onlywatertodrinkinplainreusablebottles.

FoodRestrictionsandAllergies

Theearlychildhoodclassroomsarepeanut-free.Sunflowerbutterandothernutbuttersare generallyallowed;however,inthecasethatthereisachildwithaveryseriousallergyinyour classroom,theteachermayaskyoutorefrainfrompackingfoodthatmayposearisktothat child.

PottyTraining

Childrenneedtobefullypottytrainedbeforebeginningpreschool.Thismeansthattheyneedto beabletowipethemselvesaswell,butiftheyneedassistance,wewillprovideitwhilewearing gloves.Workingonthisskilloverthesummerwillensurethatyourchildiscomfortablewiththis levelofselfcare.

Pleasesendyourchildtoschoolinelasticwaistpantsortightsthatareeasytogetoffandon.We will,ofcourse,helpthechildrenwhoarestilldevelopingthisskill;however,it’sbestforthe youngchildtobeasindependentaspossibleintheirabilitytocareforthemselves.Beingableto dothingsontheirownhelpsthemtofeelcapableandconfident.

Pick-uptimeis12:45pm

Childrenshouldbepickeduppromptlyat12:45pmnearthefrontoffice.Thisisanopportunity tohaveabriefcheck-in,ifnecessary,withyourchild’steacher.Onceyouhavesignedyourchild out,pleasekeeptheminhandandbemindfulthattheaftercareresttimehasjustbeguninoneof theclassrooms.

Ifyouaregoingtobemorethan10minuteslateandyouhavenotfoundanotherparenttowatch yourchild,pleasecallthefrontofficerightaway.Yourchildwillwaitinthefrontofficeuntil youarrive.

“TheNest”ExtendedCareProgram

Ourextendedcareprogramisdesignedwiththeyoungchildinmind,continuingtherhythmof theschooldaywithrest,snacks,outdoortime,andfreeplay.

OuraftercareprogramoperatesMonday-Fridayeverydayschoolisinsessionexceptthelast Fridaybeforewinterbreakandthelastdayofschool.Therearetwoaftercareprogram options:12:45-3pmand12:45-5:20pm,MondaythroughFriday

Pleasenoteaftercareisonlyavailabletostudentsonacontractbasis.Thereisnodrop-incare. Childrenwhoarenotpickedupatdismissaltimewillwaitfortheirparentsinthefrontoffice. Formoreinformationaboutaftercare,pleaseseetheenclosedaftercareinformationandhandout.

BirthdaysatSchool

Wecelebratebirthdaysasclosetotheactualdayaspossibleandsummerbirthdaysarehonored attheendoftheschoolyear.Parents/siblingsareinvitedtoparticipateinthecelebrationand sharehighlights/milestonesfromeachyearofthechild’slifeandawishfortheyearahead.

Ifyouwouldliketobringatreatforoursnacktime,freshseasonalfruitfortheclasswouldbe appreciated.Asmuchasyouwouldliketopreservethismoment,weaskthatnophotosbetaken duringtheceremonysowecanmaintainthemoodofreverencefortheyoungchild.

BirthdayCelebrationsOutsideofSchool

Tominimizesocialdifficulties,arrangementsfornon-schoolpartiesshouldbehandledoutsideof school.Pleasecommunicatetotheparentsofyourchild’sfriendswhenextendinginvitationsand beawarethatbirthdaysthatdonotincludethewholeclasscanhurtfeelings.Personalgiftgiving amongthechildrenshouldalsobedoneoutsideofschool.Werecommendkeepingbirthdays smallandsimpleaslargercelebrationscanbeoverwhelmingtoyoungchildren.

WellnessPolicyandHealthPractices

Theearlyyearsareatimeofprotectionandthoughtfultending.Weadheretoandlikelysurpass statelicensingmandatesfortheeducationandcareofyoungchildren.Nowmorethaneverwe arecommittedtoprovidingthishealingeducationtoouryoungeststudents.

Weteachershavebeendiligentinresearchingandpreparingbestmethodstosupportyour children’s,yourfamily’sandourownbesthealth.Ourfrequenthand-washinganddailycleaning oftheclassroomswillcontinueasalways.

Thisyear,asinyearspast,ourillnesspolicywillbeinfulleffecttoprotectthehealthof everyoneinthepreschool.Additionally,updatesorchangesfromourstatelicensingagencies maycomeintoeffectandcouldoverrideMWSpoliciesorpracticesregardingillness.Wewill adoptthepoliciesastheyarise.

Inanefforttokeepallmembersofthecommunityhealthy,plantokeepyourchildhome fromschooliftheyareillorpresentanysymptomsthatcouldbecontagious,suchasfever, cold,coughorflusymptoms,nausea,diarrhea,rashesandanyothercommunicable symptoms.Ifyourchildbecomesillatschool,wewillcallyoupromptlyandaskthatyoupick themupasquicklyaspossible.

Waldorfschoolsaredistinguishedascentersbrimmingwithvitalityandwellbeing.We anticipateayearfullofhealthandconsciouscareforoneanother

Communication

Ascaregiversoutsideofthehome,weareincommunicationwithparentsfrequently.Formal parent-teacherconferencesarescheduledfortheweekbeforeourNovemberrecess,butweare availabletomeetwithparentsatamutuallyconvenienttimethroughouttheyear

Westrivetopracticedirectspeechatschool.Questionsconcerningissuesinthepreschoolshould bebroughttoyourleadteacherasclearlyandpromptlyaspossible.Ifyouwouldliketoschedule

aconversation,pleasesendanemailspecifyingaconvenienttimetotalk.Wepreferface-to-face interactionbutwecanalsoscheduleaphoneconversation.

Atpick-uptime,theteacherswillshareanyimportantinformationaboutyourchild’sday.Ifyou havequestionsorconcerns,pleasedon’thesitatetomakeanappointmentwithyourchild’s teacher.

Lisa,Sunflowerleadteacher,atlisaocallaghan@marinwaldorf.org

Fernanda,Buttercupleadteacher,atfernandafuga@marinwaldorf.org

Anycommunicationmeantfortheentirepreschoolparentbodymustbeapprovedbytheclass teacher Youcanbringitdirectlytoyourteacherorgothroughtheclassparent.

CellPhonesandPhotos

Finally,animportantnotethattheEarlyChildhoodwingisacell-phone-freezone,soplease checkmessagesbeforecomingtocampusforpickupanddrop-off.

SupportingOurSchool

Ourfaculty,administration,andBoardofTrusteesaredeeplycommittedtokeepingMarin WaldorfSchool'stuitionasaffordableaspossible,inadditiontoprovidingneeds-basedfinancial aidtofamilieswhoqualify.Ourindexedtuitionmodeldoesnotcovertheschool’sfulloperating expenses.Weexpectallfamilies,preschoolto8thgrade,tomakeafinancialcontributiontothe annualCommunityFundcampaign,whichhelpsusclosethegapbetweenourincomeandour operatingbudget.

GettingInvolved

Ourcommunityisvibrantandactive!Weencourageparentstocontributetoourschool communitybyvolunteering,helpingprepareforandattendingannualfestivals,participatingin developmentactivities,andattendingotherspecialeventsoncampus.

AllMarinWaldorfSchoolparentsaremembersoftheParentAssociation.Theassociationis coordinatedbyaparentchairorco-chairswhomeetregularlywithrepresentativesfromeach class.TheParentAssociation’smainrolesaresupportingtheschool'sfundraisingendeavors, community-buildingactivities,andannualfestivals.AnactiveParentAssociationisvitaltoour school’sfunctioning!

Wearelookingforwardtoworkingtogetherwithyoutoensureahealthy,smooth,and joyousyear!

MarinWaldorfSchool PreschoolDaily&WeeklySchedule

SampleActivitySchedule

Monday SoupMaking/VegetableChopping

Tuesday Breadmaking

Wednesday Painting

Thursday Drawing

Friday OpenActivity

SampleSnackSchedule

Monday

VegetableSoup—pleasebringavegetablefromhometocontribute!

Tuesday Bunswithhoneybutter

Wednesday Oatmealporridgewithraisins

Thursday Riceandbeans

Friday Bakingday

**Fresh,organicapplesandorangesareserveddailyatsnacktime

SampleDailySchedule 8:30am Welcome,doorsopen 8:35am Artisticactivity 9:00am Storytime 9:10am Insideimaginativeplay 10:00am Tidyup/CircleTime 10:20am Morningsnack 10:45am Outsideplaytime 12:10pm Lunch 12:45pm Dismissal 12:45pm Preschoolaftercarebegins 1:15pm Quiettimeornap 2:20pm Peacefulwakingandsnack 3:00pm Pickup 3:00pm Lateaftercarebegins 5:20pm Lastaftercarepickuptime/aftercareclosed

PreschoolFestivalsandEvents

Throughseasonalfestivalsandevents,weacknowledgeandcelebratetheEarth’snaturalcycles andcreateasenseofrhythmandordertotheschoolyear.Parentsareencouragedtoattendthese beautifulcommunity-buildingeventswheneverpossible.Herearesomeoftheeventsthat preschoolfamiliescanlookforwardtoin2023-2024.

LateAugustParentEvening—DateTBD

We’llmeetbeforeschoolbeginstotalkmoreaboutthefirstdayofschoolandtheyearahead, andtoansweranyfinalquestions.

AllSchoolBeautificationDay

Saturday,August26,2023

OnourannualAllSchoolBeautificationDay,familiesgathertopreparetheschooltoreceivethe children.Ourworkdayisawonderfulopportunitytobuildasenseofcommunityandmakea valuablecontributiontogettingourclassroomready.Forpreschoolfamilies,thatmightmean ironingsilks,polishingcrayons,orfolding.Weexpecteveryonetoattend!

PreschoolMiniDays—August23,24,and25th

Theseshortorientationdaysareanopportunityforchildrenandtheirfamiliestospendtime togetherandgetcomfortableintheschoolenvironment.Theteachersrequestthatyoubring alongyourchild'sextraclothingbagwithachangeofclothesandtheirinsideshoestostorein theircubby Pleasenote:eachfamilywillattendonjustoneofthethreedays.Sign-upswillbe distributedduringthesummer

FirstDayofPreschoolfor5-DayStudents

Thursday,August31

Schoolbeginsat8:30am.Familiesmaygatherintheplayyardoutsidetheirchild’sclassroom dooruntiltheteacherwelcomesthechildreninsideat8:30am.Saygoodbyeoutsideandallow yourchildtoentertheclassroomtogreettheteachers.

FirstDayofPreschoolfor3-DayStudents Tuesday,September5

BacktoSchoolNight Thursday,September7

BacktoSchoolNightisanopportunitytomeettheschool’sfacultyandadministration,andto connectwithparentsofchildrenfrompreschoolto8thgrade.Afteranall-schoolgathering,we willhaveourfirstparentmeetingoftheyearinthepreschoolclassroom.PleasenotethatBackto SchoolNightandallsubsequentparenteveningsareadults-onlyevents.

FamilyHarvestFestival

Saturday,November4

Currentstudents,theirparents,andtheirsiblingsareinvitedtocampusforanafternoonoflive music,dancing,andfunharvest-themedcraftsandactivities.

PumpkinCarving Autumn,DateTBD

Inthefall,preschoolparentsareinvitedtoschooltohelptheirchildrencarvejack-o-lanterns duringtheschoolday.

PreschoolLanternWalk

LateAutumn,DateTBD

Childrenandparentsgatherinthelateafternoonforawalkaroundcampusatduskwith handmadelanterns,followedbyagatheringintheclassroom.

MayFaire&Grandparents/SpecialFriendsDay Friday,May3

Anall-schoolfestival,theMayFaireisacelebrationofspring.EveryyearinearlyMay,our studentsgatherintheoakgrove,wheregrades1-8,aswellasthefaculty,presentamaypole danceaccompaniedbythe7th-8thgradeorchestra.Preschoolfamiliesareencouragedtoattend!

ParentEvenings&OtherParentEnrichmentEvents

Welookforwardtoseeingyouatpreschoolparentevenings.Thesemeetingsareessentialtothe healthydevelopmentofakindergartenparentbodyandcreatingabridgebetweenhomeand school.Pleasemakeeveryefforttoattend.

Additionally,ourschooloffersparentenrichmentandeducationeventsthroughouttheyear Pleasechecktheschool’sFridaynewsletterforinformationabouttheseevents!

Early Childhood Sewing Instructions 2023-2024

You will make:

2 single-layer napkins, 15” square

2 double-sided placemats, 12” by 16”

1 cubby bag for a change of clothes

1 pillow, 13” by 10”

You will need:

2 1/2 yards of cotton calico, at least 45" wide in a pattern appropriate for kindergarten

¾ yard of coordinating solid color cotton, at least 45" wide, of similar weight

3 ½ yards of 5/8” ribbon

Stuffing for pillow (wool is nice but needs to be removed to wash)

Please note: Preshrink the cotton fabric

Preshrink the fabric twice by getting it wet and drying it in a hot dryer. This will help the items hold their shape through the weekly washing process.

Layout

Lay out and cut the pieces according to the instructions. Please follow the instructions with regards especially to the size of the pieces.

Napkins Cut two 16" by 16" pieces from the cotton calico

Place Mats

Cubby Bag

Cut two 12" by 16" pieces from the cotton calico

Cut two 12" by 16" pieces from the solid cotton

Cut two 17" by 17" pieces from the cotton calico

Pillow Cut two 13” by 10” pieces from the cotton calico

You can make pattern pieces from tissue paper, or newspaper, or simply measure out the dimensions onto the fabric, mark them with pins or fabric pencil and cut accordingly.

Two Napkins

Fold all the edges under 1/8” to 1/4” and press seam with iron.

Fold the already folded edge under 1/8” to 1/4” again and press seam again.

Now there is a rolled edge around the item.

Pin in place.

Sew around the edge to hold in place.

Two Place Mats

Pin one calico and one solid piece, right sides together.

Sew 5/8” from the edge, all the way around, leaving an opening 5” to 6” for turning.

Trim the corners.

Turn right side out and press flat.

Sew the opening closed.

Optional: topstitch ¼” to ½” from edge.

Pillow

Place two pieces of fabric with the right sides facing each other.

Sew a ⅝” seam around the edge leaving a hole large enough to add stuffing to pillow.

Turn right side out.

Stuff pillow and hand stitch (blind stitch) the opening closed.

TheNest

EarlyChildhoodExtendedDayProgramatMarinWaldorfSchool

DearParents,

Thereareafewthingswe,theNestteachers,wouldliketosharewithyouabouttheextended dayprogram

PreschoolAftercareSchedule

12:35-12:45pmBathroomtrain

1-2:20Quiettimeandstories*

2:20-2:30Bathroomtrainandshoes/jackets

2:30Lateaftercaretraintoyard

2:30-2:50Snack**

3pmPreparetogohome

*Sometimes,ifthechildrenarealreadyrested,wewilloffersimpledrawing,books,story,orsongsas wegentlytransitiontosnack

**Pleasepackaspecialaftercaresnackandlabelit.Attheendofrest/quiettimeat2:20pm,theychildren packuptheirbeddingandwesittogethertoeat

Preschool/KindergartenLateAftercareSchedule

At3pm,thechildreninthepreschoolandkindergartenclassroomsjointogetheruntil5:20pm.

3-3:45Garden,SandboxorGrandmotherOak

3:45-4Bathroomtrain

4:-4:30SecondSnack*

4:30-5Freeplay/seasonalcrafting

5-5:15Cleanuptime

5:15-5:20Finalgoodbye

*At4pm,weprovideasnackforthechildren,whichisoftenriceandbeans,honeybuns,apples,

crackers,soup,orasurprise.Youdon’tneedtopackextrafoodforthe4pmsnack.

OutdoorTime

Duringaftercare,yourchildrenareenjoyingnature,eitherinthegardenastheyworktogetherplanting, weedingandharvesting,orexploringtheGrandmotherOak.Theyjump,run,playinthetrees,explore nature,buildfortsandplaygames Onspecialoccasionswe’llvisitBubbles,theresidentturtle,inthe largegarden

SeasonalCrafting

Weoffersimpleseasonalcraftsforthechildren Theymayworkwithclay,makenaturejournals, craftcornhusksdollsandworkwithyarn.Wetrytoimplementelementsfromthegardeninto thecraftsasmuchaspossible,suchasusingleavesforleafrubbingormakingoakgallinkfor drawing.

3pmPickup

Pleasepickupyourchildpromptlyat3pminfrontoftheschoolonIdylberryRoad.Ifyouneedtopick upyourchildearlyforspecialcircumstances,suchasappointments,trips,grandparentvisits,etc., pleaseletyourchild’steacherknowinthemorningatdrop-off

5:20pmPickup

Please remember that parents must arrivenolaterthan5:20pm Parentsarewelcometopickuptheir children anytime between3pmand5:20pm.Comedirectlytothekindergartenplayyardtosignyour childout At5:20pm,thechildrenwillbewaitingatthefrontoftheschoolonIdylberryRoad

Bedding

WeencourageparentstosupplytheirchildwithbeddingthatiseasytorollupwithVelcrostraps

Thechildrenrolluptheirbeddingafterrestsoit’shelpfulwhenthebeddingisasimpledesign.The beddingcanbeusedforseveralyears,fromPreKtoKindergarten.InpreK,achildmaybringa smallnaturalstuffedanimal/dollforcomfort Thesmallfriendwouldstayintheir cubbyatschool withthebedding.Ablanketandpillowareokay,too.

Herearesomesources:

1)“Napmats”canbefoundathttps://wildkin.com/pages/nap-mats or

2)Amazon.com:MoonseaToddlerNapMatwithRemovablePillowandFleeceMinky Blanket,LightweightandSoftPerfectforKidsPreschool,Daycare,TravelSleepingBagBoys andGirls,

21"x50"FitonaStandardCot:Baby

RestandQuietTime

Buildingontherhythmoftheregularschoolday,westartaftercarewithashortresttime,whichallows thechildrentorefreshandprepareforajoyfulafternoon.Everyday,thechildrenlayouttheirmatto restorsleep.Wecreateaverycomfortable,cozyspaceandmayplayasimpleinstrumenttocalmthe children,orwemayjustbequiet Sometimes,ifthechildwouldlikesimpleandgentlemassageontheir feet,wewillofferthat.

Wheneverpossible,werespectparents’wishesthattheirchildnotfallasleepduringresttime,butwe encouragethechildtorestquietly.Wealsohonortherequestfromparentstoeitheralloworhelptheir childtosleep.

Weunderstandthisisaspecialtimeforthechildrenandforthefamilies.Wefeelveryhonoredtobe partofthechild’searlyeducationalexperienceandareverydedicatedtoprovidingarichandjoyful timeforthem

Ilookforwardtoworkingwiththechildrenandgettingtoknowthefamiliesbetter

Kindregards, BarbaraMcVeigh

LeadAftercareTeacher

MarinWaldorfSchool

2023-2024

Early Childhood Extended Day Program (“The Nest”) Contract

Marin Waldorf School’s early childhood extended day program is designed with the young child in mind, continuing the rhythm of the school day with rest/nap, snacks, outdoor time, and free play. The program begins immediately after the regular school day is over, with program options till 3pm and 5:20pm.

I. Contract and Registration

Early childhood extended day programs are available by contract only. To enroll your child in the 2023-2024 program, please select your program preference on the following page then sign and date the contract. To participate in the program, families must sign up for a minimum of three days of extended care.

To enroll, please submit a copy of your signed contract to Megan Smith, registrar, at registrar@marinwaldorf.org or by mail to 755 Idylberry Road, San Rafael, CA, 94903. To guarantee a spot in the program, please enroll no later than May 31, 2023. After this date, enrollment will be available on a rolling basis as long as space is available. (Please see “Program Limits and Wait List” below.)

All new contracts, contract changes, and cancelations are effective on the first day of the following month. For more details, please see “Cancelations and Refunds” below.

II. Aftercare Calendar and Hours

Aftercare is offered every day school is in session except the last day before winter break (Wednesday, December 20, 2023) and the last day of school (Wednesday, June 12, 2024)

Aftercare begins immediately following regular preschool or kindergarten dismissal, at 12:45pm and 1pm respectively, and runs until 3pm or 5:20pm.

III. Fees

Families may opt to enroll their children in aftercare three, four, or five days a week for 3pm or 5:20pm pickup. To participate, you must enroll your child for a minimum of three days/week.

Extended care fees are calculated monthly and are based on the number of days your child is enrolled and the pickup time selected. The annual program fees are as follows:

Please note: You do not need to select the same pickup time for all three, four, or five days your child is enrolled in the program; before sending an invoice, the business office will adjust your contract fees according to the days and times selected.

IV. Payment Options

After you submit your signed contract, you will receive an invoice from Marin Waldorf School and may submit your payment the following ways.

• One payment due in full on or before September 1, 2023, no fee

• Two equal payments due on or before September 1, 2023, and again on or before December 1, 2023, subject to a 2.5% interest fee

• 8 monthly payments from September 2023 through April 2024, made through FACTS

tuition management New accounts require additional paperwork, which are processed through FACTS, our payment processing provider, subject to a 5% interest fee

V. Program Limits and Wait List

Per childcare licensing requirements, the size of our extended day program is limited

Children may join the program on a rolling basis as long as space is available. Once the program is full, families who would like a spot in the extended day program will be put on a

Days 12:45/1pm3pm 12:45/1pm5:20pm 3 $2,450 $4,895 4 $3,250 $6,500 5 $4,050 $8,100

waitlist and offered a space if one becomes available. Please contact the front office if you would like to join the wait list for aftercare.

VI. Midyear Start and Contract Changes

If you would like to enroll your child in aftercare after September 2023, or you would like to make a change to your aftercare pickup time or days in the program, you must submit a new signed contract to Megan Smith in the school’s front office at registrar@marinwaldorf.org. All contract changes are effective on the first day of the month (for example, a contract received on September 15 will be effective October 1). Fees for new contracts or fees/refunds on updated contracts will be prorated based on the date the new/updated contract is submitted. Before submitting your new or updated contract, please contact the front office to determine if there is space available in the program.

VII. Cancelations and Refunds

No refunds will be issued for days missed due to absences or school closures during your contract. If you wish to cancel your child’s aftercare contract, please submit a request in writing to Megan Smith, registrar, in the front office, at registrar@marinwaldorf.org All cancelations are effective on the last day of the month (for example, a contract canceled on October 10 will be effective November 1) Once the front office has received your request, the business office will issue a refund for the balance of your agreement

VIII. Siblings

If you have more than one child participating in the aftercare program, please fill out and submit separate contracts for each child. You may submit one payment for all participating children.

IX. Pickup

Please pick up your child no later than 5:20pm. For late pickups, a $5 per minute late fee will be charged. Parents may pick up their children from aftercare anytime official dismissal time.

CHILD’S NAME:

Grade level Preschool Ki Kindergarten

Please select the days and pickup times below. Please note that you must select a minimum of three days to enroll in extended care.

Mondays 3pm 5:20pm

Tuesdays 3pm 5:20pm

Wednesdays 3pm 5:20pm

Thursdays 3pm 5:20pm

Fridays 3pm 5:20pm

My child, named above, will be attending the Early Childhood Extended Day (“The Nest”) Program during the 223-2024 school year. The Extended Day Program is available Monday to Friday every day school is in session from August 30, 2023 to June 11, 2024, except Wednesday, December 20, 2023 There is no extended care on the last day of school.

Your contract and payment must be submitted to the school before your child's place is reserved. No refunds will be made for days missed due to absences (including illness, vacation, etc.) during your contract. To cancel or make changes to your contract, you must complete a new registration contract and submit it to the front office. Changes and cancelations are prorated based on the new contract date. Please note all new contracts and changes are effective on the first day of the following month.

Please select your payment method:

I will pay for the full contract charges selected above by check or credit card on or before September 1, 2023.

I will pay 50 percent of the full contract charges selected above by check or credit card on or before September 1, 2023 and make a second payment in that amount on or before December 1, 2023

I already have a FACTS account on file and wish to pay the contract charges selected above monthly.

I already have a FACTS account on file and wish to pay for the contract charges selected above biannually (September 2023 & December 2023).

I do not have a FACTS account and will complete and submit a FACTS form within 10 days of signing and submitting this form to pay for contract charges selected above.

By typing or signing my name on this electronic record, I/we am/are supplying my/our electronic signature with the intent to sign this agreement and agree to its terms.

DATE: SIGNATURE:

Print name:

Daily Rhythm at Home and Its Lifelong Relevance

by Helle Heckmann

As parents of little children, you are often very tired and you get too little sleep, and when you have too little sleep you also have too little energy and then often you give in when you think you should not have done, or you get angry or irritated so you are not present and when you are not present you lose the children and you do not like yourself. To make it easier for you to deal in the daily life with your children there are three important considerations:

• To be flexible

• To set limits (borders) and

• To observe the same routine everyday

o become flexible is the result of objective inward observation. You may train your flexibility through an inner work where you learn about yourself. In relation to limits, you have to find out them for yourself. You have to decide what the limits are for your child in your house: time to go to bed, time to eat, what to eat, what language to use in the family and so on. You have to make up your mind about limits beforehand, so, instead of saying “no, no, no…” and becoming angry, you simply do not allow the children to go beyond the limits. You know this is your decision and do not need to be angry. If you are ahead of the child and you see a certain situation coming, with humor and the right gesture or word, you can move away from the situation, and this will be possible if you train your flexibility. Knowing more about yourself will give you the possibility to also be ahead of yourself. When you catch this tool you can start working with your children in a much freer way, because the limits are set.

The third recommendation, to make a routine which is the same every day, gives the child rhythm. All Waldorf families probably know how the daily life is in the nursery and kindergarten. The children go

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through the day in alternate periods of concentration and expansion, as if in a breathing rhythm where there is inhaling and exhaling.

In the inhaling or breathing‐in phase the child directs his attention to an activity that basically relates him to himself. For little children each breathing‐in period (drawing, water painting, and knitting, eating…) is very short because little children can only concentrate for short periods of time. In the exhaling or breathing‐out period, the child relates mainly to the surrounding world (free play, free running etc.). For each breathing‐in period the child needs a breathing‐out period and so a pattern is established. This rhythm is something that you can bring into your home. You have to try to find out when the children breathes‐in and when they breathe‐out. And when the children are in the breathing‐in period, you have to make sure you are present, so the child feels ah, here I feel my parents, they are there for me. After that, for very short time, you can do what you have to do at home and you can tell your child you have to wait because I need to do this. And this will be all right because you know you have been present with the child. As an example, look at the situation when parents pick up their children from the kindergarten. At the very moment you are picking up your child: Does the cell phone ring and you answer? Do you greet your friends and engage in intense talk? If yes, then you are not present for the child. In my last visit to Mexico I saw very few parents really greeting their children, the majority were talking to other parents or engaged in school affairs or talking in their cell phones, or arriving late or in a hurry.

But, for your child who has been gone for five hours and who really wants you… you are not there. So the child screams I want an ice cream! I want this or that! or he starts running around, or falling, or getting into little conflict because he is confused, because he has not really met you. On the contrary, if you take the time (and it is five seconds perhaps), you bend down, give him a hug and then smell him (so lovely!) and really you are there, his eyes will tell you more than words, how his day was. He cannot tell you with words because he cannot remember, but his eyes will tell you everything. And then you take his hand and walk together (of course in a tempo that the child can follow), and this is really lovely because you are making a new nice situation, a “you and I situation.” Now, if you need to greet people you can do it, very shortly, but together with the child because your child will feel I am where I belong, with my parent. This was a breathing‐in situation where you were present.

Then you go to the car and go home (breathing‐out) and it is probably time for eating which brings again a breathing‐in situation. How do you eat? Do you sit down together with the child? Or is the child sitting by himself and you are walking around talking on the telephone? If you give yourself the time and sit down with your child you will teach the child manners at the table by your example. Many of the children today do not sit with their parents and they do not learn to hold utensils appropriately. However, this is important, otherwise when they are seven years old they cannot hold a pencil and to learn it at that age is so difficult compared to when they were one or two years old.

In addition, to sit at the table and to have a beginning, a process and an end, is important because this is how you should live the whole of life. Everything has a beginning, a process and an end. It may take you only fifteen minutes to sit appropriately, to check how the child holds and drinks from cup (children from one year onwards do not need a sip cup), to eat with closed mouth, and everything you are given and so on, being, in this way, an example for your child to follow, but more importantly you have taken this short moment to make again a “you and I situation” and at the same time you also help the child to find a social form of how we are when we eat together.

When you finish with the meal you remind the children they need to help with the table so that they also learn that when they are a part of a social environment they also take part in the cleaning up. In this way

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you have made and create a situation where you have been present and now you can say to the child go and play (breathing‐out) because you have been there, and then you can do what you need to do but you have to be visible to your child. This is so, because a little child cannot play by himself if the center is not there and you are the most important person for the child. You are his center, and if you leave the room the little child will follow you.

When you are doing your things, the situation may occur where children will say I am bored. In this case you, of course, don´t turn on the television or music. When you are occupied with other things, you can tell your child now you play by yourself. If you know you have been present you can actually expect them to find something to do themselves. It is very important that you are not afraid of your children not knowing what to do or being bored. It is very important that you feel it is right: I have been there with them now they can be by themselves.

Nowadays, parents often use media or adult‐directed activities for their children because they are afraid of their children being bored and assume that they are not able to do anything themselves. This is a tricky situation. If you think you have to entertain your under‐seven children all the time, with media (films, TV, videogames, computers and so on), after‐school classes, and/or other adult‐directed activities, then they do not learn how to play by themselves. They will not have a moment where they can be in a state of not knowing what to do and from there progress into a state of finding images inwardly and thus creating things from inside out. By letting them to be bored you help them, because being bored represents the opportunity the children will have to go into this process of inner creativity. The fact that children are able to be by themselves, to create their own play without adult direction is of great importance because during the first seven years of the child everything is about being able to create.

If all the activities come from outside (electronic screen, video‐games, adult direction, etc.), then not much happens in the sphere of inward creation. That is why in Waldorf kindergartens, teachers do not sit down and play with the children but do real work, from which the children draw inspiration to use it in their own play. In these kindergartens you may find teachers sweeping, cooking, sawing, tending the vegetable patch, taking care of farm animals, cutting wood, and whatever the particular setting of each school allows to do. Equally, you, as a parent, in the breathing‐out phase, may do your work and the children beside you should be able to do their work (i.e. their own play). This is possible only when the children feel that they have met you in a previous breathing‐in phase.

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The Two-Year-Old Child

While the one-year-old child enters the world of walkers and begins to comprehend physical space, the two-year-old enters the world of speech and language and makes an initial foray into social life. Children first repeat what they have heard others say and then practice using those same words in a similar situation. Affirmation by the speakers around them helps them consolidate their learning and soon they will be verbally expressing themselves appropriately in altogether new circumstances.

having them met, may bring on whining, crying or even full-blown tantrums. Conflict with playmates may also begin during this stage of development.

The second important development, sometime during the third year, occurs when the child stops referring to him or herself by name or in the third person and says, “I.” This is a further step in separation from the environment and towards selfawareness that is necessary for continued development and, in particular, for developing the initial capacity for thinking that will show itself increasingly once the child turns three.

The strong will of the young child combined with the new “yes/no” consciousness will bring parents daily challenges! Being consistent with rhythms, allowing enough time between activities, and making transitions as playful as possible will minimize the potentials for child or parent meltdowns.

Avoid meeting the child’s “no” with threats or bribes. Try saying, “When you have put on your coat, we can go to the park,” rather than saying, “If you don’t put on your coat we are not going to the park today;” or rather than saying, “If you put on your coat now, we can stop at the store and get some graham crackers to take with us to the park.”

Development of language is a marvelous process to witness. The personality of the child emerges more clearly as he or she begins to talk. Two-year-olds delight in the sounds of words and take new interest in books. They will talk to and talk for their dolls, toys or other play objects. At a certain point, they will ask repeatedly, “Why?”

Along with language acquisition, two other important developments occur during the third year of a child’s life. Parents will notice the first waking up of the feeling life, not the vast ocean of adolescent emotions or even the rolling waves of likes and dislikes of the 7-12 year-olds, but the clear emergence of a much more assertive, “yes” or “no.” It is also the case that the frustration at not being able to fully communicate his or her wishes, or not

Use play and imagination to jolly your toddler along. You could say, for example, “Let’s put dolly in your pocket, because she might like to go to the park, too.” Another possibility would be, “Let’s take the dump truck to the sandbox; there might be some digging that needs to be done.”

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“Do it myself!” Parents of two and three-year-olds will hear this often. Having hooks and shoe racks at child height will help facilitate the desire to learn to dress and undress and also establish the habit of hanging up outer wear and tucking shoes and boots tidily out of the way.

A specific challenge may be new anxiety about separation from one or both parents. This may seem to be a regression, but is more likely related to the child’s awakening feelings. Again, consistency of routines before and after the time apart is helpful. Also, “practicing” separation for short periods of time (10 or 15 minutes to start with) and saying, “I will come back soon,” and then extending the time apart gradually can also be helpful. If parents are anxious at the time of separation, then the child will be as well. So, the most important support for the child is the parents’ inner state of trust and calm.

At a certain point, the two-year-old will say “why” many times a day. How should a parent answer this question? The child is learning the concept of a question. Another commonly heard question is, “What are you doing?” (This may well be followed by “Why?”) The child is not necessarily looking for an answer, but is practicing forming a question. You will naturally answer a simple and concrete question. However, if the question is related to more complex phenomena, alternative responses could be, “hmm,” “I wonder why” or “because.” These will be much more helpful than abstract, intellectual explanations that the child is not yet ready to cognize. An imaginative picture as an explanation is more appropriate and satisfying at this age. A simple affirmation of the phenomena, such as “Yes, the trees are dancing with the wind, “ may also suffice.

The gift of life with a two-year-old is the joy of communication and companionship.

The Three-Year-Old Child

The sky is not always blue for the child approaching three. Clouds drift in and out and the weather can be unpredictable, but the rays of sunlight that pierce even the darkest days are brilliant. The two-year-old claimed the world by naming it, but the three-year old astounds us with the verbal ability to express more and more complex relationships.

Language has an inherent order and logic that helps the child develop the capacity for thinking. Thoughts first arise because of speech and are expressed through speaking. At a certain point, outer speech becomes inner speech and then, thoughts begin to arise ahead of speech. We could say that movement brought to stillness allows speech to arise, and speaking brought to stillness allows thinking to arise.

The sense of oneness with everything fades somewhat with the emergence of self, but along with the capacity for thinking comes the capacity for fantasy or imagination. Imagination becomes the basis for a new kind of play that may have begun during the third year of life, but comes into fuller bloom after the third birthday.

Karl Koenig expressed this process in a fairy tale picture. He called thinking the sleeping beauty in the castle of the head that is kissed awake by the “I.” The objectification of the world that is required for thinking is strengthened first by the freedom that the child experiences in uprightness and learning to walk, then by the power of language to describe things and relationships. The differentiation between the self and everything else culminates in the child’s saying, “I.” The sense of self as separate is referred to in developmental psychology as the emergence of self.

Play was usually a solitary affair for the one-year-old, and two-year-olds typically engage in what is called ”parallel play,” but the three-year-old is genuinely interested in interacting with other children and in creating imaginative scenarios taken from real life or the world of stories. While adult help in getting started or sorting out difficulties may be required, three-year-olds slip readily into imaginative play.

The three-year-old is also becoming more confident physically and enjoys challenging him or herself in new movement activities. Even though the seeds for the emotional/social life and for thinking have already been planted by the age of three, movement is still the primary mode of learning for the child before the age of seven. At any given moment, it is likely that the three-year-old may have a different plan or agenda than that of the parent, and can be bold, assertive, and quite stubborn at home. On the other hand, he or she can also be sensitive, shy, and reticent, especially in new social situations, and in those situations will not want to be the visible focus of attention.

Challenges for the parents of the three-year-old: Because of the child’s new capacities, it can be tempting to over-stimulate the three-year-old with

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intellectually oriented activities. This can be a hidden challenge for parents. Even asking the child many questions and giving them too many choices can tax their forces and cause unnecessary stress. Offering two equally good choices (for clothing, food, or activities) is much more age appropriate than asking,” What would you like for breakfast?” or “What would you like to do today?” Objects for creative or dramatic play are more essential and developmentally appropriate than puzzles or specifically designed teaching toys.

There are many media options designed for young children around the age of three. In Waldorf early childhood education, however, we recognize the continuing critical importance of three-dimensional experiences for the child up to the age of seven. The long-term benefits for future academic success of supporting the development of their imaginative capacities and strengthening their will to stay with and play out their inner “thought pictures” has been well documented in recent studies.

capacity for comprehension is that they may be frightened by scary elements, especially if the story is not being read or told by a trusted adult.

A wonderful activity to introduce at this age is for a parent to tell the child, ideally before nap or bedtime, a story about the child’s day or a specific incident from the day. This is helpful for the child’s developing memory, good practice in creativity for parents, and can be a tender ending to the day. Some children like to hear about themselves in the third person, while others prefer to know already that the story is about them. Stories about simple everyday activities and excursions are just as satisfying as “adventure stories” for the three-yearold. All of life is still an adventure.

This is the gift for the parents of the three-year-old: finding the spirit of adventure in everyday living.

The Four-Year-Old Child

The world of the four-year-old begins to expand beyond home and the circle of family. The most intriguing new territory is social. Four-year-olds typically want to be around other children, especially if they do not have siblings. As a result of their new experiences, they may well “bring home” new behaviors and language. Four-year-olds still need regular rhythms and clear boundaries to give them the sense of security out of which to explore new areas and to counter influences that may not be consistent with what is happening at home.

They can participate for longer periods in structured activities, but still need even longer periods of unstructured time. They like to run, can walk longer distances on their own two sturdy legs, and may enjoy riding scooters or balance bikes. The family may have already gone on camping trips, but now the four-year-old can be a fuller participant.

Four-year-olds are ready for more complex stories and are particularly drawn to animal tales, stories with rhymes and repetition, and very simple fairy tales. In Waldorf nursery and preschool classes puppets are often used at story time, which help the children to experience the story more vividly.

While the two-year-old played primarily with things and the three-year-old moved those things around, the four-year-old will still do both and add a dramatic, imaginative element to his or her play. Creative play, especially with playmates, is what nourishes the child’s development at this stage. Family life (of both humans and animals), daily activities, and the overcoming of household problems form the greater part of the content of this play. Dramatic play represents a healthy means of processing experiences that the child has witnessed and also of integrating new learning.

Younger fours may need help negotiating differences among play partners and finding “win-win” solutions. At this age, inclusion is an important theme. “There is room for everyone.” “Let’s make our house bigger.” Helpful advice that adults can offer or model to playmates is to knock and ask, “May I please come in?” or “I have brought you a present.”

Four-year-olds can be exuberant about everything, especially at home. They often need guidance in how to express themselves in consideration of others. While good manners may have been modeled previously, making this a priority at this stage is important. “Please,” “thank you,” “excuse me,” and “I’m sorry” should be family currency. The family meal is the perfect time for social learning and modeling care for others and practicing appropriate mealtime conversation.

Predictability in the environment and in daily rhythms were critical during the earliest years and continue to be, but now, clarity of expectations in social situations is equally as critical for the fouryear-old child. Again, modeling is the best way to teach good manners and consideration of others. Long-winded preaching falls on seemingly deaf ears.

Challenges for the parents of the four-year-old may resemble those of the previous years and also include some surprises, such as the new behaviors and language learned outside the home or from new playmates.

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he increased capacity of the four-year-old to focus may mean that transitions become tricky again. Many of the suggestions delineated in the description of the two-year-old will still be helpful, but parents will naturally need to adjust for the increased language skills and other capacities of the older child. Suggestions about limiting choices given for three-year-olds also hold for four- year-olds. That the child’s cooperative spirit in other settings is not always evident at home is what might seem new and puzzling.

and doing so is a privilege, especially if adults carry the same feeling inwardly. Parents have found that both of these expressions can be used very effectively for younger children as well.

Potty talk, name-calling, and images that are developmentally inappropriate, whether from media or other sources, may well find their way into the life of the four-year-old. This requires a calm, evenkeeled response by family members. Over-reacting will often escalate unwanted behaviors. Firm and clear statements beginning with, “In our family, we… (fill in the blank)” are the most effective remedy. This requires considerable self-discipline from parents, but is also an unavoidable yet valuable opportunity to clarify and communicate family values.

The gift of parenting a four-year-old is the opportunity to clarify family values and begin creating the family culture.

YOUNG CHILDREN IN THE DIGITAL AGE:

A PARENT’S GUIDE

Nancy Carlsson-Paige, Ed. D.

YOUNG CHILDREN IN THE DIGITAL AGE: A PARENT’S GUIDE

Nancy Carlsson-Paige, Ed. D.

When I talk with parents these days,they often say that their children’s lives are very different from what their own childhoods were like. Frequently, they name technology as the single biggest change in their kids’ lives—and in their own lives too. Many parents go on to say that their children are on screens more than they want them to be, and that screen use is often a source of conflict with their children. Many express uncertainty about however they are letting their kids use screens, and a sense that they might be doing it“wrong.” I’m hoping that theideasinthisreportwillresonateinapositive way for readers by providing some helpful new information and support on this challenging topic—that’s my goal in writing this.

Technology cascaded into all of our lives in a very short period of time. Many of us are struggling to make sense of it, to figure out how we can use technology well. It has been a challenge for every age group. Some of the concerns we read about are serious—the psychological effects of social media, the breeches on privacy, health issues like sleep disturbance, eye strain, and perhaps other effects waiting to emerge.1 Many of these risks have their biggest impact on young children because their bodies and minds are still forming.

Many parents find it hard to make decisions about screen time for their kids because advice comes from different directions and often conflicts. In the field of child development, we have decades of theory and research that can be very helpful as a guide for screen and digital device use with young kids. These ideas can

be a resource for you to depend on when you are trying to figure out about any screen, app, or digital device your child might want to use.

From child development theory and research, we know a great deal about how children learn and develop and what they need in order to grow to their full potential. In this report, I’ll offer you six core ideas that come from the field of child development that can be helpful in evaluating screen and technology use with young children. We can use these ideas, not as a rigid rulebook of “shoulds” and “should nots,” but more as a guide to help us make decisions and support kids in this tech-saturated world of ours.

SIX CORE IDEAS FROM THE FIELD OF CHILD DEVELOPMENT:

#1. YOUNG CHILDREN USE THEIR WHOLE BODIES AND ALL OF THEIR SENSES TO LEARN ABOUT THE WORLD.

Babies and young children are always moving. They have to move. It’s the movements and use of all of their senses that drives their development. A lot of us in the child development field were delighted in the 1990’s when advances in neuroscience began crossing over into child development. The brain scientists were confirming that play and active learning are critical to optimal brain development. Neurons in the brain strengthen and connect as children move, explore, and interact in the world. Everything we knew from child development theory was supported by this new brain research.

The brain of a newborn is a little more than one quarter of the volume and weight of the adult brain. By the age of three, it has reached 80 percent of its adult size and, by age five, 90 percent. Neurons are strengthening and synapses are forming in the brain at a faster rate during these early years than at any other time in life.

Neurons in the brain strengthen and connect as children move, explore, interact in the world.

Unfortunately, there is a dearth of specific research about how media use affects brain development. But what we do know is that the experiences a child has shape brain development. As the child moves, interacts, and uses her senses, neural activity in the brain is stimulated. One neuroscientist wrote, “You hold him on your lap and talk…and neurons from his ears start hard-wiring connections to the auditory cortex. And you thought you were just playing with your kid.”3 A child’s whole development, brain development included, is best supported when young kids have full-on opportunities to use their whole bodies and senses for activity, play, and social interaction.

In my view, this is a very fundamental point. We want to encourage young children to act on the world, to be interested in exploring everything around them. When we teach them early in life that an object—a screen--entertains them, we are undermining their inherent capacity for taking initiative and learning through discovery.

#2. YOUNG CHILDREN LEARN FROM DIRECT, FIRST-HAND EXPERIENCE IN THE REAL WORLD.2

Everything on a screen is a symbolic representation of something in the real world. You and I know this without even thinking about it. But young children don’t understand this. And it takes them many years to realize fully that what is on the screen is a representation of something and not the real thing. Even my grandson Miles, at the age of four, punched the television set because, he said, “I thought the bad guy was coming out of the TV.”

The youngest of my eight grandchildren is Max, who is two years old and lives in Swaziland. Recently, we had a Skype call with him and his parents. Max kept reaching for the screen, trying to touch me, to play and interact the way

When we watch young children who are engaging with screens, like the child in photo #1, one of the first things we notice is that they are not moving or using their whole bodies. Their bodies are more passive as their attention is absorbed by the screen. The focus shifts from moving to looking. From acting on the world to re-acting to what’s on the screen. This is a very significant shift in energy and attention for a child. Further, there is something even more significant. When a child propels herself forward physically—to grab a toy, to crawl, to stand—she is taking initiative to act in and on the world. When a child looks at a screen, not only is she more passive, but also her attention shifts away from her own initiative.

we did when I was visiting him last summer in Africa. He was confused. It’s true that with more experience, young children seem to get used to talking to a screen version of their loved ones. Skype and various apps that allow for real time conversations can help children be in touch with loved ones who are far away, and many families are glad to have this way to connect.

Photo #1 Fisher-Price Newborn-to-Toddler Apptivity Seat

When a child looks at a screen, not only is she more passive, but also her attention shifts away from her own initiative.

In the ideal sense, children benefit most from having direct experiences in the actual world of relationships and objects. This is because threedimensional experiences are wholistic, they involve a child fully—body, mind, and feelings-and this level of engagement is greater than what can be gained from two-dimensional experiences.

children. And a majority of parents believe that early screen use is beneficial.4 But we need to be cautious about these claims, as companies can make them even if they are false or not grounded in research.5

Let’s imagine that the child in photo #3 is reaching for a ball that she sees on the screen. Think of all the things she could do with an actual ball. She could grab it, turn it over in her hands, roll it, watch it roll away, crawl to get it, throw it, bite it--she could keep on inventing new ways to explore the ball. And with each exploration, the neurons in her brain would be getting stronger, new synapses connecting.

When I was in Swaziland last summer, Max was 18 months old. He was using a ball to work on a very important cognitive concept: object permanence. This is one of the most fundamental concepts in human development--the idea that when something is out of our sight, it still exists. Without this concept, humans wouldn’t learn language or math or be able to think of anything abstractly. We all constructed this concept in our minds during the first two years of life, and we did it by having lots of experiences interacting with objects and people. Slowly, we learned that things existed even when we couldn’t see them.

In photo #3, we see a young child reaching for something she sees on a screen. This is an advertisement from the company KiddieTab that is promoting the use of screens with young children. It says: “The Benefits of Exposing Young Children to Modern Technology.”

There is a lot of marketing to parents that asserts the benefits of screen technology use with young

Max spent a lot of time working on this idea last summer. He would roll the ball under the couch so it was out of sight. At first, he looked a bit confused. Where was the ball now? Eventually, he would crawl under the couch and find it. He practiced this countless times, each time getting a little more secure with the idea of where that ball was even when it was out of his view.

Max wouldn’t have been able to build this important concept in his mind without having had direct experiences with the ball in threedimensional space. Seeing the ball on a screen would not have given him the data he needed to construct this idea.

Photo #2 Grandson Jake Skyping from the U.S. with his Guatemalan family Photo #3 Enlight KiddieTAB Advertisement

There are many concepts young children develop out of their experiences with three-dimensional objects. When we watch them, we see that they are learning almost constantly from banging things, dropping them, rolling them, mushing them around, covering them up, tasting them, rattling them, etc.

I saw a research study recently that said that young children couldn’t transfer information learned on a two-dimensional screen to three dimensions.6 That seems obvious to me because of how they learn and need to learn in the early years. Presenting a child with images on a 2-D screen short changes a child by giving her far too little to go on, too little information on which to build concepts needed in order to build the foundation for later learning.

#3. YOUNG CHILDREN LEARN BY INVENTING IDEAS.

Children are active learners. They learn by interacting with other people and by having lots of hands-on experiences with all kinds of things around them.

Children don’t learn optimally when we try to put information into their heads directly. Most of us probably remember having to learn some things by rote when we were in school. And most of us probably know that we forgot what we learned quite quickly. For genuine learning to happen, kids need to construct ideas for themselves, in their own minds. This is the kind of learning that is real and genuine and stays with us.

Let’s look at photo #4 of children building with blocks. When kids build with blocks and with many other materials, they are working on a whole variety of concepts. One very important group of concepts relate to number. With blocks, kids classify them into groups by shape. They put them in order by length. They match them up in various ways. They do this usually while they are playing and this learning is happening naturally. These concepts build toward an understanding of quantity, a concept that is quite complex and takes time to understand, a concept we all constructed at one time in our young lives.

If you and I look at different objects--let’s say at a group of four giraffes, a group of four watermelons, and a group of four cupcakes--we know without having to think about it that there are four objects in each of these groupings, even though they look very different. But we didn’t always know this, and young children don’t automatically know it. They have to build this understanding over time. For young children, whichever grouping is the biggest—takes up the most space—has the most in it. Without thinking about it, you and I can “abstract” the quantity of four from the materials and understand that these differentlooking amounts have a “fourness” in common.

Photo #4 Block building in a Kindergarten classroom

Presenting a child with images on a 2-D screen short changes a child by giving her far too little to go on, too little information on which to build concepts needed in order to build the foundation for later learning.

This isn’t a concept that we can teach children directly. Like many concepts, children have to construct this idea from their own experience with materials. That is why having lots of experiences with a whole variety of real objects is critical to early math learning.

In many early childhood classrooms these days, adults are teaching children by direct instruction through rote learning. Commonly, there will be flashcards with number symbols written on them: 4, 5, 8, 9, etc. Teachers will hold these up for children to name. But a child can call out the correct “name” of the numeral without understanding the “concept” of the number. He could say that “4” is “four” without understanding the concept of quantity.

Unfortunately, in early childhood education today, there is far too much drilling of number names and other specific memorizable “facts.” Many adults are deceived into thinking that children understand concepts because they can parrot back the names of symbols. But children have to construct this understanding in their own minds through their ongoing actions on materials and in play with other kids.

Good early childhood education offers play-based learning experiences that allow children to build ideas through engaging activities. This is what active learning really means. It’s the opposite of drills and rote learning. The focus in a playbased classroom is on each child’s developing understanding and not on getting final right-or wrong-answers.

When we observe children, we notice that they are often working on these early math concepts spontaneously. I was in Guatemala where my grandson Jake lived, and he was five years old at the time. We had a lovely fruit salad one morning for breakfast. The bowl of fruit was out on the table for five of us to share. Jake went out to the table and set up the breakfast on his own.

He put a plate at each chair (one-to-one correspondence). Then he spooned three pieces of watermelon and two pieces of pineapple onto each plate (classification by three’s and two’s). Again, Jake was working on these pre-number concepts on his own, just through his own natural activity.

During this same visit, I noticed that Jake was getting interested in counting. One day as we walked by the lake in his lakeside village, we saw some ducks on the water (there were five). He started to count: “one, two, three, four, eight!” He grinned at me happily.

If Jake were in a classroom with an emphasis on direct instruction and right answers, the teacher would correct him for counting incorrectly. But actually, Jake was showing how much he already knew about number. He was matching the name of a number to each duck. He knew that those names referred to quantities. He stated the

Photo #5 Children work on math concepts in their everyday lives

Good early childhood education offers play-based learning experiences that allow children to build ideas through engaging activities.

names in an order. This was a lot to already know. But he still needed more experience before he would understand the specific quantity that each of those names referred to.

In addition, when children are learning through interaction--with materials and with other kids-they are learning about learning itself. They learn that they can have their own original ideas. They can create and invent and build understanding in their own minds. Because screen-based learning focuses on direct instruction and right answers, kids get the wrong idea about what learning actually is. In classrooms where children have too much direct instruction, they can think that knowledge and answers belong to the teacher. And when they learn by computers and apps, they can think the answers are in the devices. In both cases, the answers lie outside of the child, and are not within his or her own power to discover.

#4. YOUNG CHILDREN MAKE SENSE OF THEIR WORLD THROUGH PLAY.

Unfortunately, most of the learning apps and computer learning games such as the example in photo #6, by their very nature, promote the kind of learning that emphasizes getting the right answers and learning by rote. Kids follow directions and give answers. With screens and digital devices, they can’t learn by manipulating actual building materials. If they do have an app that lets them move objects around on a screen, for example, they will learn something, but far less than what they could potentially learn from having materials in their hands and discovering myriad things to do with them. The learning that comes from drills and producing answers does not provide as solid a foundation of understanding in a child’s mind. It is a more superficial kind of learning that does not hold up as well as the kind of learning that a child constructs through direct action on materials.

When you and I have experiences that cause us angst--maybe we have a disagreement at work, or something scary happened to us, or there was a conflict at home--we tend to go over the moments of difficulty in our minds. We replay the events mentally as we try to sort through what happened. We might talk with someone we trust and verbally describe what took place and how we feel. As adults, we have this ability to use our thoughts and words to process our experiences. But children don’t have these tools. The way that young children process and make sense of their experiences is through play.

Play is so vital to young children’s emotional and mental health that it is sometimes called the engine of development. Play is universal among children, as universal as walking and talking. All children know how to play, and no one has to teach them. Surely, any activity that is wired into humans this way is critical for human adaptation and development.

Photo #6 ABC Mouse Online Curriculum for Children Ages 2-8

when children are learning through interaction--with materials and with other kids--they are learning about learning itself

When my grandson Jackson was two years old and I was giving him a bath, a small spider dropped down from above onto the rim of the bathtub. Jackson started screaming in fear of the spider. I was surprised and tried to show Jackson that the little creature was harmless, but he kept on screaming and seemed genuinely scared. So, I wrapped Jackson in a towel and lifted him out of the tub.

The next day when Jackson came over to my house after day care, I had some play things set out. There was playdough, a tiny doll (Jackson’s baby brother had just been born so he played with the little doll a lot), and a plastic spider—the kind you can buy in a jug full of different kinds of plastic animals. There was also a little box on the table. Jackson put the toy baby into the box. He squished some playdough into a flat shape, covered the baby up, and said, “The baby is scared of the spider.” Then he took the baby back out of the box, then quickly returned it to the box, covered it with playdough and repeated, “The baby is scared of the spider.” And, then once more, Jackson repeated the same little scenario.

A two-year-old is just beginning to play, but we can see the simple and important elements of play in what Jackson did. He told a little story that was based in his own experience with the spider, but it was also partly from his imagination. He projected his own fear of the spider onto the baby and then found a way to protect the baby from the spider with the playdough cover. Jackson repeated this little story several times, all the while getting a sense of mastery over what had scared him.

As children get older, their play becomes more complex. Brain scientists would tell us that the neural structures of the brain increase as children’s play gets more complex, and the growing brain supports more complex play.

Children get better at playing the more they play. They need to practice every day so they can become good players.

Jackson’s spider encounter is an example of an everyday stress that could happen in the life of a fortunate child like Jackson whose basic needs—for a home, food, love, and security—are well met. There are forms of stress that some children experience that are far more severe than seeing a spider. But even in situations where there is more extreme stress--often when there is poverty or violence in a child’s life--play is a vital resource that can help children cope. I have been amazed at the ability of children I’ve worked with in situations of violence and war that are able to use their play to strengthen their sense of safety and security.

In observing children at play, whoever they are and whatever their circumstances, I look for the basic elements of play that we saw in Jackson at age two: a story that comes from the child’s own experience; some original parts to the story that come from the child’s imagination; some evidence of emotional benefit to the child (i.e., making sense of a situation; feeling positive, secure and safe; having fun).

Because play is such a vital resource for healthy development, it is worrisome to observe the significant decline in children’s play today. Children are now playing less both at home and in school.7

In classrooms for young children, we’ve seen a dramatic decline in play. The education reforms of the last almost twenty years have pushed academic standards and testing down to our youngest kids, even to preschoolers. Studies have shown that classrooms for young children have far less play than in the past, less arts, less recess, and more direct instruction and

Because play is such a vital resource for healthy development, it is worrisome to observe the significant decline in children’s play today.

worksheets.8 These changes in early childhood education have been detrimental to all young children, but most harmful to black and brown children living in low-income communities where misguided education reforms have had their greatest impact.9 The loss of play in classrooms for young kids has robbed them of one of the greatest resources they have for making meaning of their lives and gaining feelings of mastery over difficult experiences.

The loss of play inside of schools has corresponded to a reduction of play in children’s lives outside of school. Children are spending more time in front of screens — watching television, movies, and using computers, tablets and phones — than ever before.10 The time kids are spending with these types of media is replacing child-directed play, even among very young children.

Many of us are familiar with issues relating to screen addiction, and all age groups, including young children, seem to habituate to screens. While there are many factors involved in screen addiction, different for each age group, it is worth noting that from a developmental perspective, young children may be especially vulnerable to habituation because of how their minds work. Young children are more swayed by what they see than are older children and adults who have a more developed capacity to think critically and to step away from what they are seeing if they choose to. Young kids live in the moment: they get engrossed with the images in front of them, and they are pulled in completely.

Not only are children today playing less, but when they do play, their ability to create their own original stories has declined.11 The prevalence of screens in combination with the mass marketing of toys and products linked to screen media has affected how children play. When children see movies—for example, Frozen or Star Wars and then play with the action figures, props, and costumes linked to these films, they typically act out the media-based stories and not stories of their own. The play looks very similar from one child to the next. Ideally, however, no two children would play in the same way. This particular influence of commercial culture has meant that not only do children today play less, but even when they do play, the experience isn’t as fully beneficial as it might be.

Also, the messages in media culture tell children about themselves and their world. There’s an over-representation of white characters in much of kids’ pop culture and more whites featured in leading roles, as well as a prevalence of rigid gender stereotypes—all of which can negatively impact children’s sense of self.12

#5. YOUNG CHILDREN BUILD INNER RESILIENCE AND COPING SKILLS THROUGH PLAY.

After our visit to Guatemala the year my grandson Jake was four years old, I learned that he had cried for a long time when he realized that my husband Doug and I had left. The following year after our next long visit, I was determined to do a better job of helping Jake prepare for our departure.

Photo #7 Action figures of characters from the movie Frozen

Young children are more swayed by what they see than are older children and adults

The day before we were leaving to return to the U.S., I brought Jake over to the little casita where we were staying. I had some things to play with set out: my familiar home-made playdough, some popsicle sticks, paper, crayons and glue.

I drew a simple house on paper with two stick figures and said to Jake, “Tomorrow, Grampa Doug and I are going on an airplane back to Boston” (he had visited Boston in the past). Right away, he picked up a crayon and drew his own “house” on paper. He put us all inside the house and gave us names: Mommy, Papa, Grampa Doug, Nancy, and Jake. On another piece of paper, he drew another “house,” ringed it with play dough and called it Boston. He put the same five people in there too. Then he started making airplanes. Jake glued two sticks together and put five people on the plane: Mommy, Papa, Grampa Doug, Nancy, and himself. He flew the plane from the house in Guatemala to the house in Boston. All of us were on the plane and all of us were in the houses together. He made more planes, always with five of us on them, and flew them all around the room and between the two houses. He was very engrosssed in this play and it went on for a long time. When it was time to wind down, I said, “Jake this has been really fun playing with the airplanes and houses. But remember that tomorrow, Grampa Doug and I will go in an airplane back to Boston.” I put two of his little playdough pieces on a plane and flew it to the Boston house.

The next day after we had left Guatemala, Jake’s mom wrote to me to say that Jake woke up that morning and announced, “Grampa Doug and Nancy are gone. They went back to Boston.” He seemed settled and tranquil, with no sign of distress.

Inner resilience builds in children over time. When children have the chance to play every day, they increasingly build skills that help them work through challenging experiences. Just in this one play episode, we can see that Jake was able to come to terms with an event that was potentially difficult for him. Instead of the feeling of despair he’d had the year before, there was a different confidence: “I can do this. I know Grampa Doug and Nancy left and I’m okay.” When children play this way over time, their inner resilience strengthens; they become secure in handling the challenges life brings.

The materials Jake played with had a lot to do with his ability to create play of benefit to him. The materials were undefined and openended. With popsicle sticks, playdough, crayons and paper, he could make whatever he wanted. Giving kids undefined materials allows them to reach inward to create the props and symbols they need to get the most out of their play. This can’t happen when we give them defined toys or screen apps or games because the images are pre-set. They determine what happens in the play and impede a child from accessing his or her own imagination and emotional needs.

Photo #8 Jake’s house with everyone inside Photo #9 Jake’s airplane with all of us on board

There are screen apps and games that many children spend a lot of time “playing.” Puppet pals, the app pictured in photo #10, is an example of a phone app. The creators of Puppet Pals advertise the app as “encouraging creative play.” There are characters in the app--policeman, ballerina, doctor, astronaut—and kids can tap on the screen to mix their heads and bodies. They can make the characters talk, move their limbs, and put them on animals or vehicles to ride as they tell a story.

I watched two of my granddaughters as they played with Puppet Pals. They had a lot of fun creating the characters, making them move, putting them on animals to ride. Almost all of their time was spent this way. The story they told was brief and confined to the characters and actions of the app.

It can be helpful to realize that the more that elements on a screen shape play, the less a child’s play can come from within. And the less a child’s play comes from within, the harder it will be to build inner resilience and coping skills through play. All of the entertaining options offered on the screen

interfere with a child’s own story and the needs of her own psyche. It’s a tradeoff we can keep in mind: More direction from outside means less access to the inner life of imagination and emotion.

#6. CHILDREN LIVE AND LEARN IN A CONTEXT OF SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

There is a human, social dimension to almost everything a child does. If we look again at photo #4 of children building with blocks, we see that the children weren’t only learning math with the blocks, they were learning math from one another. They learned from hearing each other’s ideas and they also learned about getting along with each other as they played.

Children’s emotional and social development happens slowly over time, just as their cognitive development does. They develop awareness and skills slowly that grow from their experience interacting with others.

Today, the context in which children are developing socially and emotionally is changing rapidly and dramatically. Children are playing less both in school and at home and therefore, have less experience interacting with other kids. And it seems, judging from the research, that many children have less time or less focused time with parents.13 Many parents are less available to children because of time spent with technology.14 Because child development theory would tell us that children need lots of social interaction for healthy development, it is a concern that they are getting less of it today.

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what it looks like for children today to be having less social interaction, but this story really made me think. My friend Joyce told me that she recently rode on a bus and in the seat across from

Photo #10 The Puppet Pals phone app

Inner resilience builds in children over time.

The more that elements on a screen shape play, the less a child’s play can come from within.

her was a young child who looked to be about one year old sitting on the lap of a caregiver. Joyce said that she and the child began to interact. They smiled at each other, made faces, and went back and forth in their nonverbal communication. Suddenly, the caregiver whipped out a smart phone and handed it to the child who went quickly into a phone-absorbed state and never looked at Joyce again. This is one small example of one mobile device affecting one social interaction in a baby’s life. What will be the effect on children of an accumulation of countless social experiences reshaped by technology?

When smartphones came out about ten years ago, many of us noticed parents on their phones with their children in public places like parks and restaurants. Teachers would tell me about parents on cell phones at day care pick up time, paying no attention to the child or the teacher, while continuing their conversations. Researchers began reporting that children felt “unimportant” when parents were on their phones; that they felt they were competing with technology for parents’ attention.15

There’s a large body of work in the child development field on children’s healthy attachments and sense of security. While there are many important factors that affect children’s emotional security, having the consistent, focused, loving attention of an adult is a major one. Perhaps those of us who interact with children have an opportunity here. We can practice giving our full, undivided attention to children at least during some times of the day. Doing this offers us a meaningful experience in the act of being present, something most of us find very difficult. Just staying in the moment of being with a child with awareness is a satisfying practice for us, and a true gift to children, one they sorely need today.

Soon after smartphones appeared on the market a decade ago, apps and tablets for kids became more prevalent. And as the prevalence of kiddie technology increased, something else began to occur. Parents and caregivers began to see an easy opening for using phones to amuse and distract children. What quickly became a common practice was to offer a phone to a child in a difficult situation--a hard transition, a conflict, a scary moment--or simply to occupy a child, like the caregiver on Joyce’s bus. It was an easy solution. Distract the child, end the distress, amuse the child, make life easier. But at what cost to the child’s social and emotional development?

A few summers ago, I spent a week with close friends, including five-year-old Quentin and his Nana. Quentin is very close to his Nana, he adores her. After we’d spent a full week together, Nana explained to Quentin that she had to leave in the morning to visit her own mom. When Nana pulled out of the driveway, Quentin let go with a painful cry. He wailed so completely, with so much sadness, as he watched his Nana drive away. I took Quentin on my lap and there he sat, crying. After a while, when I thought it might be possible, I made a suggestion: “Quentin,” I said, “I have an idea. Let’s get some paper and markers and you can make a picture for Nana and we can send it to her.” Quentin liked this idea. He was ready to feel better.

What will be the effect on children of an accumulation of countless social experiences reshaped by technology?

I set Quentin up at the table with the paper and markers and left him for a bit. When I came back to the table, I was quite amazed. Quentin hadn’t made a picture for Nana, he had written her “a letter”—something he had never done before.

Quentin’s letter, pictured in photo #11, was written in five-year-old invented spelling. Maybe you can decipher it, but here is what Quentin told me it said:

“I MISS YOU NANA. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE? I REALLY LOVE YOU.”

When Quentin was in my arms crying hard, I could’ve offered him my phone to play with. Quentin loves to play games on the phone. (He’s one of those kids who gets his hands on your phone if it’s on the table, and surprise! You have a new downloaded app before you know it.) Offering Quentin my phone would’ve been a really easy option and one that would’ve distracted him right away from his pain. What a seductive option that is for an adult! It works so effectively. But the problem is, it works only in the short term.

If I had given Quentin my phone, he would not have had the chance to feel his feelings of sadness and

loss, to find the words to express those feelings, to write a letter to his Nana and to strengthen their relationship in doing so. If I’d given him my phone, I would have bypassed all of that rich emotional experience he deserved to have.

Children need to have the full range of emotional and social experiences in order to grow that part of themselves. If we bypass those harder moments and don’t let children make their way through them, they will grow up without a rich emotional life and without the tools that develop from life experience. They will learn that when they feel bad, instead of looking inward to find the resources to cope, they can turn to a screen or something else external to make themselves feel better.

CONCLUSION

Knowing how young children develop and learn, in my view, is the single most important resource we have for making decisions about screen use. The six core ideas from child development, listed on page 14, lead to specific suggestions that we can put to use when trying to decide how to handle screens and digital devices with young children.

Photo #11 Quentin’s “Letter” to Nana

If I’d given him my phone, I would have bypassed all of that rich emotional experience he deserved to have.

Knowing how young children develop and learn, in my view, is the single most important resource we have for making decisions about screen use.

SUGGESTIONS FOR PUTTING THE SIX CORE IDEAS TO USE:

1. Surround young children with opportunities to move and explore using their whole bodies and all of their senses.

2. Provide young children with all kinds of objects to explore. And try to give them lots of opportunities for social interaction--remembering that kids grow cognitively, socially and emotionally as they actively engage with materials and people.

3. Keep children away from screens in the first two years of life as much as possible and keep screen use to a minimum throughout the early childhood years. When a child wants screen time, we can ask ourselves: “What is the potential of this activity for fostering imagination and/or social development? Is there a more beneficial, more fully engaging experience available for my child right now?”

4. Try to provide a space (even a corner of a room in an apartment can work well) and uninterrupted time for children to play every day.16

5. Give children undefined materials (playdough, art materials, blocks and building materials, household objects) to play with that will encourage the deepest, most creative and expanded play possible.

6. Try to pay conscious attention to our own use of mobile devices in the presence of children and try to set devices aside until later as much as possible.

7. Try to make screen use with children a conscious choice and not one we turn to automatically.

8. Try practicing the art of being fully present with children—giving them our full attention-- even if it’s just for a few moments.

9. Avoid using screens to occupy children or to distract them from difficult feelings or moments. Keep open-ended materials like playdough, markers and paper, building materials easily accessable.

10. Be alert to the school environment children have and advocate for classrooms that engage kids through playful learning and allow them to follow their own curiosity rather than the didactic learning that is so widespread today.17 www.deyproject.org

@DEY_project

REFERENCES

1. Hertsgaard M, Dowie M. How big wireless made us think that cell phones are safe: A special investigation, The Nation, March, 2018.

2. The field of child development defines “young children” as children from birth to age eight.

3. Frost JL. Neuroscience, play, and child development, Paper presented at the IPA/USA Triennial National Conference, June, 1998.

4. Zimmerman FJ, Christakis DA, Meltzoff AN. Television and DVD/video viewing in children younger than 2 years, Archives of Peditric & Adolescent Medicine, 2007.

5. Campaign for Commercial Free Childhood. FACT SHEET: Baby scam: Marketing to infants and toddlers. www.commercialfreechildhood.org.

6. Strouse GA, Ganea PA. Toddlers’ word learning and transfer from electronic and print books, Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, July, 2016.

7. Haidt J, Lukianoff G, How to play our way to a better democracy, New York Times, September 1, 2018.

8. Bassok D, Latham S, Rorem A. Is kindergarten the new first grade? ScienceDaily, January, 2014.

9. Ibid

10. Ravichandran P, DeBravo BF, Beauport MPH and R. Young children and screen tiime (TV, computers, etc.), National Center for Health ResearchYoung, 2018.

11. Levin DE, Carlsson-Paige N. The War Play Dilemma. New York: Teachers College, 2006.

12. Carlsson-Paige N. Taking Back Childhood: A Proven Roadmap for Raising Confident, Creative, Compassionate Kids. New York: Penguin books; 2009.

13. Radesky JS,Kistin CJ,Zuckerman B,Nitzberg K,Gross J,Kaplan-Sanoff M,Augustyn M,Silverstein M. Patterns of mobile device use by caregivers and children during meals in fast food restaurants, Pediatrics, 2014.

14. Dona Matthews, Turn off that smartphone, mom and dad! Psychology Today, November 23, 2017.

15. Caroline Bologna, Many kids feel “unimportant” when parents are distracted by smartphones, survey says. Huffington Post, July 2015.

16. TRUCE (Teachers Resisting Unhealthy Children’s Entertainment) www.truceteachers.org.

17. Michael Yogman, Andrew Garner, Jeffrey Hutchinson, Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, The power of play: A pediatric role in enhancing development in young children, Pediatrics, August, 2018. From the American Academy of Pediatrics Clinical Report.

NANCY CARLSSON-PAIGE, ED. D.

Nancy Carlsson-Paige, Ed.D., is Professor Emerita at Lesley University where she was a teacher educator in child development for more than 30 years. Nancy has written many books and articles on children, their social and emotional development, and the effects of media on young children. Her most recent book is called Taking Back Childhood:A Proven Roadmap for Raising Confident,Creative,Compassionate Kids.

In 2012, Nancy co-founded Defending the Early Years and is now a senior advisor at DEY. Nancy is an advocate for education policies and practices that promote social justice, equity. and the well-being of all children.

DEFENDING THE EARLY YEARS (DEY) is a non-profit organization working for a just, equitable, and quality early childhood education for every young child. DEY publishes reports, makes mini-documentaries, issues position statements, advocates on policy, and has an active website full of resources, blogs, and activist steps for early childhood educators.

www.deyproject.org @DEY_project

© November, 2018 by Defending the Early Years. All rights reserved. Full report, Young Children in the Digital Age: A Parent’s Guide, available for downloading at no cost on our website: www.DEYproject.org

The Two-Year-Old Child

having them met, may bring on whining, crying or even full-blown tantrums. Conflict with playmates may also begin during this stage of development.

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The gift of life with a two-year-old is the joy of communication and companionship.

The Three-Year-Old Child

Challenges for the parents of the three-year-old: Because of the child’s new capacities, it can be tempting to over-stimulate the three-year-old with

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capacity for comprehension is that they may be frightened by scary elements, especially if the story is not being read or told by a trusted adult.

This is the gift for the parents of the three-year-old: finding the spirit of adventure in everyday living.

The Four-Year-Old Child

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and doing so is a privilege, especially if adults carry the same feeling inwardly. Parents have found that both of these expressions can be used very effectively for younger children as well.

The gift of parenting a four-year-old is the opportunity to clarify family values and begin creating the family culture.