How Men Fall In Love And For How Long
This presentation is taken from The Origin of Emotions which can be downloaded at: ww.theoriginofemotions.com
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
This presentation will make the following assertions:
• men can only fall in love with a stranger • men fall in love after 4 months of daily interaction • men fall out of love 46 months after meeting a stranger
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Men in love simultaneously feel three positive emotions when they see or hear the woman they love.
positive emotion
trigger
purpose
monogynistic love
" The woman I love is happy."
encourage men to support women
visual/audible pleasure
the sight or sound of women
encourage men to seek women
affection
the sight or sound of familiar people
encourage everyone to interact with kin
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
Men fall in love 4 months after meeting a woman and fall out of love 42 months later or 46 months after meeting her.
monogynistic love
very strong
strong
moderate 42 months
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
After 46 months, men continue to feel the weaker emotions of visual/audible pleasure and affection.
monogynistic love
very strong
visual/audible pleasure strong
affection moderate
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
Men fall in love when one woman repeatedly triggers their visual/audible pleasure and affection for 4 months.
monogynistic love
very strong
visual/audible pleasure strong
affection moderate
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
7
copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
Visual/audible pleasure is triggered by the sight or sound of women.
positive emotion
trigger
purpose
monogynistic love
" The woman I love is happy."
encourage men to support women
visual/audible pleasure
the sight or sound of women
encourage men to seek women
affection
the sight or sound of familiar people
encourage everyone to interact with kin
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
8
copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
Visual/audible pleasure is specifically triggered by features that fertile, non-pregnant women have and other humans do not.
children
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
men
fertile pregnant women
postmenopausal women
9
fertile non-pregnant women
copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
The following are features that fertile, non-pregnant women have and other humans do not.
hourglass figure
- combination of protruding breasts, wide hips, narrow waist
protruding breasts plump lips wide hips
- ideal hip-to-waist ratio is 0.7
slender appendages
- face, neck, arms, hands, fingers, legs, feet, toes
8% shorter height
- 8% is ideal (about 5½" shorter than a 5'10" man)
feminine voice
- pitch and resonance midway between men and children
beardless face
- beards evolved so men do not court men
pubic hair non-grey hair narrow waist
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
The more exclusive a feature is to fertile, non-pregnant women the stronger the visual/audible pleasure it triggers in men.
strength of effect strong moderate
weak
children
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
fertile pregnant women
fertile non-pregnant women 9
hourglass figure protruding breasts
9
9
plump lips
9
9
wide hips
9
9
9
slender appendages
9
9
9
8% shorter height
9
9
9
feminine voice
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
beardless face very weak
men
postmenopausal women
9 9
pubic hair non-grey hair
9
9
narrow waist
9
9
11
9
9
copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
To fall in love, a man must feel strong visual/audible pleasure for 4 months.
monogynistic love
very strong
visual/audible pleasure strong
affection moderate
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
Strong visual/audible pleasure can only be triggered by an hourglass figure, which confirms that a woman is fertile and non-pregnant.
strength of effect strong moderate
weak
children
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
fertile pregnant women
fertile non-pregnant women 9
hourglass figure protruding breasts
9
9
plump lips
9
9
wide hips
9
9
9
slender appendages
9
9
9
8% shorter height
9
9
9
feminine voice
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
beardless face very weak
men
postmenopausal women
9 9
pubic hair non-grey hair
9
9
narrow waist
9
9
13
9
9
copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
4 months of strong visual pleasure confirms that a woman was not impregnated by another man just before meeting.
very strong
visual/audible pleasure triggered by non-pregnant woman strong
visual/audible pleasure triggered by woman impregnated just before meeting a man as she loses her hourglass figure
moderate
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
this is a tangent
The visual/audible pleasure that a woman triggers in a man declines over time which encourages men to maximize the genetic diversity of their offspring.
very strong
visual/audible pleasure strong
moderate
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
this is a tangent
Over 8 years, the visual audible pleasure that Elizabeth Hurley triggered in Hugh Grant declined enough that . . .
very strong
strong
visual/audible pleasure
moderate
weak
1987
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
1988
1989
1990
1991
16
1992
1993
1994
1995
copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
this is a tangent
. . . that Divine Brown, a street prostitute, became relatively more attractive to Hugh.
very strong
strong
visual/audible pleasure
moderate
weak
1987
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
1988
1989
1990
1991
17
1992
1993
1994
1995
copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
this is a tangent
Women frequently change their appearance to try to slow the decline of visual/audible pleasure.
very strong
visual/audible pleasure
change appearance frequently
strong
moderate
change appearance rarely
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
Affection is triggered by the sight or sound of familiar people.
positive emotion
trigger
purpose
monogynistic love
" The woman I love is happy."
encourage men to support women
visual/audible pleasure
the sight or sound of women
encourage men to seek women
affection
the sight or sound of familiar people
encourage everyone to interact with kin
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
Affection is specifically triggered by features that modern humans have and other primates do not.
arboreal primates
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
terrestrial primates
small-brain humans
20
modern humans
copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
The following are features that modern humans have and other primates do not.
singing, poetry, alliteration
- logically sequenced acoustics from human voice
talking smiling
- corners of mouth turned up, not showing teeth
eyebrows, white eyes, nose, philtra, lips, chin
- everted lips
hands with long opposable thumbs walking bipedally
- or dancing
feet without opposable toes bums without tails
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
The more exclusive a feature is to modern humans the stronger the affection it triggers in others.
strength of effect strong
moderate
weak
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
arboreal primates
terrestrial primates
small-brain humans
modern humans 9
singing, poetry, alliteration talking
9
9
smiling
9
9
eyebrows, white eyes, nose, philtra, lips, chin
9
9
hands with long opposable thumbs
9
9
walking bipedally
9
9
feet without opposable toes
9
9
9
bums without tails
9
9
9
22
copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
this is a tangent
The affection a feature triggers is stronger if there is proof of interaction.
• singing to music • dancing to music • making eye contact
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright © Mark Devon 2009
this is a tangent
While seeing white eyes triggers moderate affection . . .
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
this is a tangent
. . . making eye contact triggers stronger affection because it confirms interaction.
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
Affection starts weak and grows stronger the more time you spend with someone.
very strong
strong
affection (full-time interaction)
moderate
affection (part-time interaction)
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
48
52
56
60
months since first meeting someone
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
To fall in love, a man must feel affection that grows from weak-to-moderate strength in 4 months.
monogynistic love
very strong
visual/audible pleasure strong
affection moderate
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
Only strangers can start at weak affection.
very strong
affection (old flames, family, friends) strong
affection (new women)
moderate
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
Because men can only fall in love with strangers they maximize the genetic diversity of their offspring.
woman
child 1
child 2
child 3
child 4
child 5
child 6
MA
MA
MA
Mike falls in love with one woman for life Anne
MA
MA
MA
Mike only falls in love with strangers Anne Betty Carol
MA MB MC
Dawn
MD
Elaine
ME
Francis
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
MF
29
copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
Strangers can only trigger moderate affection by month 4 if they are interacting on a full-time basis.
very strong
strong
affection (full-time interaction)
moderate
affection (part-time interaction)
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
Because men can only fall in love with women who interact on full-time basis they do not fall in love with women who could have been simultaneously courting another man.
very strong
strong
moderate
affection (part-time with man 1)
affection
weak
(part-time with man 2) 0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
Men fall out of love after 42 months or 46 months after meeting a woman.
monogynistic love
very strong
visual/audible pleasure strong
affection moderate 42 months
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
Love encourages men to support women.
positive emotion
trigger
purpose
monogynistic love
" The woman I love is happy."
encourage men to support women
visual/audible pleasure
the sight or sound of women
encourage men to seek women
affection
the sight or sound of familiar people
encourage everyone to interact with kin
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
33
copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
By supporting women, men indirectly support their children.
monogynistic love women
men
maternal love
children
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
Men maximize the number of two-parent children they have by starting the next child when the current child no longer needs full-time care.
child 1
child 2
child 3
child 4
child 5
child 6
child no longer needs full-time care
Anne Betty Carol
MA MB MC
Dawn
MD
Elaine
ME MF
Francis
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
Children no longer need full-time care when their first set of teeth have fully erupted at 33 months.
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
•
before their first set of teeth fully erupt, children need assistance to eat
•
mothers must first breastfeed, then transfer of masticated food to their children
36
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Adding 9 months of gestation to 33 months of post-natal care equals a total support time of 42 months.
monogynistic love
very strong
strong
9 months gestation
33 months post-natal support
moderate 42 months
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
There is ample evidence that men do not love one woman forever.
• fireworks do not continue • 50% of marriages end in divorce • affection keeps the other 50% together
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copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Based on 2002 US Census Data, the average length of first marriages is 44 months.
men
women
average age at first divorce
30.5
29.0
average age at first marriage
26.9
25.3
3.6
3.7
average length of marriage
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
average length of marriage
3.7 years
average length of marriage
44 months
39
copyright Š Mark Devon 2009
Assuming 16 months of courtship and 44 months of marriage, couples typically divorce 14 months after the man falls out of love.
monogynistic love
very strong
strong
16 months of courtship
44 months of marriage
14 months to divorce
moderate
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 19-Aug-09
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copyright Š Mark Devon 2009