Finding strength

How to improve resilience

Resilience has become something of a buzzword since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. Clinical, health and neuropsychologist Dr Melanie Robertson, and Thomas Blasbichler (MA), clinical and health psychologist at Park Igls, thoroughly researched this topic before joining forces with the health retreat’s doctors to develop a programme designed to strengthen mental resilience. Beneficial during a pandemic, resilience can help us through all kinds of personal crises.

Their interest in the issue of resilience predates the coronavirus. Back in 2017, Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, and American psychologist Adam M Grant famously published Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy. In this bestselling book they combined Sheryl’s personal insights following the death of her husband with Adam’s groundbreaking research on strength in adversity. Dr Robertson agrees with the authors that we are not born with resilience, but, like a muscle, we can train it.

Blasbichler concurs. In his view, resilience arises from the interaction of many factors. the foundations are laid during childhood and are influenced through experiences and learning processes in later life. Resilience is therefore a combination of abilities, attitudes and behaviours that are both inherited and acquired through experience. ‘Even though the genetic point of departure is different for each person, we can definitely learn to be resilient.’

HOW RESILIENT ARE HUMAN BEINGS? Scientists have defined seven factors of resilience: acceptance, optimism, problem-solving skills, healthy ability to manage feelings, self–efficacy, autonomy and network–orientation. But so far, we only have hypotheses as to why some people are more resilient that others. According to Blasbichler, some of it is a question of how we evaluate situations. This can be subject to change because it is about how much one believes a difficult situation can be mastered.

However, how is a person’s psychological resilience graded? Can resilience even be measured? Although the desire for a way to measure it is understandable, resilience cannot be assessed scientifically: It is a complex interplay of very different components relating to individual development and personality. Dr Robertson believes that a person’s resources, the pillars of stability in each individual’s life, are of huge importance. These tend to be friendship, family, work and leisure pursuits. In her view, resilient people often unconsciously invest in these resources. They do not shy away from change, and are able to rapidly build support systems when necessary.

LOOKING AHEAD It never ceases to amaze Dr Robertson that there are people – and we all know someone like this – who suffer calamity after calamity yet still face life with courage, determination and joy. Like the rest of us, these people have good days and bad, but

WHAT TO DO IN AN ACUTE CRISIS

Avoid focusing on difficulty or failure. Think about your strengths: the experiences and skills that you can fall back on, the people who can and want to offer support and, quite possibly, the strength you draw from your faith.

Negative thoughts can make us believe that a difficult situation is worse than it is. Try to pick up on thoughts such as ‘it’s all getting on top of me’. Then find a phrase to counteract the negativity: ‘I want to try it.’ You can say it aloud.

Ask yourself, whether you’ve fallen victim to faulty reasoning. This might include overgeneralising (‘Because something bad happened, something bad will happen in the future.’); emotional reasoning (‘My feelings of guilt prove that I am responsible.’); and expecting too much from yourself (‘I must be strong and resolve the situation by myself.’). Draw up a table in which you present these problematic thoughts. Instead of ‘I must resolve the situation by myself’ you could say, for example: ‘I’m in a difficult situation and it’s OK to accept help.’

Ask yourself whether you can see the situation differently. How great is the likelihood of your worries actually coming true? What advice would you give to a friend who was in the same situation?

Many people in a crisis situation ruminate endlessly on their problems and their possible impact on the future. Brooding, however, does not lead to progress SELF-HELP and can exacerbate the misery. If you catch yourself doing this, try to stop these thoughts with these simple techniques: count backwards in fours from a thousand. Or focus your attention on a picture on the wall. At first look at it as a whole and then zone in on particular details.

Draw a timeline that begins with your birth on the left and leads to the present moment on the right. Mark every crisis you have encountered and survived on the timeline. Now think about each crisis and how you emerged from it. Which of your strengths did you use, who was there to help? Could you take recourse to those experiences now?

When in crisis, we tend to neglect positive aspects of life to such an extent that, even without the crisis, we might become unwell. It is important, therefore, to think about what you might enjoy doing. And when the time is right, do it! You don’t have to make it complicated: a day out, cooking for friends, making music, sewing, gardening or going on holiday will do. Indeed, simply going for a walk and enjoying your natural surroundings, watching a film tucked up at home, reading a good book or taking a relaxing bath are all great. For best effects, combine active with more relaxed activities.

AFTER THE STORM

SELF-HELP

Expressive writing is a form of writing therapy developed primarily by James Pennebaker, one of the doyens of narrative psychology. Pennebaker created a self-help programme to help process traumatic experiences and emotional crises by writing continuously for 20 minutes, repeated over four consecutive days. It is important, however, that you observe the ‘flip-out rule’ and stop if you feel that writing about a certain event will push you over the edge.

Day 1: Write about an emotionally distressing episode that fundamentally affected your life. Write about the incident as well as how you felt at the time – and about how you feel now when you think about it. Try to write exactly what you think or feel.

Day 2: Write about the same event. This time, try to relate it to different areas of your life. How did it affect your behaviour towards relatives and friends, to your work, your self-image, and the way in which you think about your past?

Day 3: Write about the crisis again, but from different perspectives. This time, allow yourself to pay attention to the areas in which you feel most vulnerable. In Pennebaker’s experience, day 3 is critical because this is when participants tend to touch upon issues they have successfully avoided before.

Day 4: It is now time to take a step back. Think about the events, issues, thoughts and feelings that you have unveiled in your writing. What did you lose because of the crisis? Did you also gain or learn from it? Pennebaker advises that you ‘do everything you can to combine your experiences with a story that you can take with you into the future.’ what sets them apart is the ability to keep looking forward while never forgetting what they have endured.

These are the people who, despite all, are able to re-establish a good quality of life and wellbeing. They are no less vulnerable than others, but they deal with crisis and suffering differently. ‘Resilience is like a Weeble toy: it wobbles but doesn’t fall down. We also think of it as the soul’s immune system,’ adds Blasbichler.

THE RIGHT TIME FOR THERAPY Personality is part fixed and part flexible, so we can make adjustments here and there. In challenging times, leaving – or being forced to leave – our comfort zones creates a sense of insecurity and undermines self-confidence. There comes a point when we can start to feel stuck, unable to move forward, and we increasingly desire change, progress and development. This, Dr Robertson believes, it’s the right time to find support in talk therapy with the aim of restoring stability and confidence or to make lasting life changes.

‘When people come to Park Igls for conversational therapy during or after a life crisis, the first thing we psychologists do is create a stress-free space

Dr Melanie Robertson

Clinical, Neuro and Health Psychologist

Thomas Blasbichler (MA)

Clinical and Health Psychologist, Coach

for them so that we can talk in confidence and trust. These conversations alone are often highly effective in relieving anxiety. Our focus is on the here and now. Targeted mindfulness and deep relaxation exercises help our clients identify new resources or recognise and nurture existing ones. Quite often, unknown perspectives open up to them and they discover other aspects of themselves. This in turn broadens horizons, fosters inquisitiveness, and draws attention to the positives.’

For Blasbichler, talk therapy is about being present, listening, and working with the client to identify options. Effective measures include finding coping strategies, acquiring stress management skills, learning relaxation exercises, encouraging selfefficacy and increased social contact.

RUN OF THE MILL Blasbichler believes that receiving help from psychologists is far more socially acceptable now than it was even just a few years ago. ‘Nevertheless, I cannot help but feel that more preventative support would be hugely valuable. People shouldn’t wait until they are in a crisis situation before seeking psychological help. However, this does require a level of sensitivity to the body’s warnings – psychosomatic responses such as sleep disorders, migraines, neck pain, gastrointestinal complaints etc. – and that professional help is sought in good time.’

‘In the United States, regular therapy sessions are considered a status symbol – which is probably taking things a bit too far,’ says Dr Robertson. However, psychological interventions in the professional and private spheres are also becoming more socially acceptable in Austria. Seeing a therapist simply to find out more about our own personality, and perhaps to uncover the mystery of resilience, no longer elicits disapproval.

Resilience After Crisis

The return to normality after a stressful crisis like the recent lockdown can be difficult. We long for the company of others and the mental balance this brings, while at the same time feeling comfortable in our solitary withdrawal from the world. With the help of therapeutic conversations and exercises as well as relaxing treatments, you will be able to face future stressful situations more resiliently as well as overcoming any current difficulties.

Mayr Basic (see www.park-igls.at) 3 talk therapy/coaching sessions (50 mins each) 2 personal training sessions (50 mins each) 2 craniosacral therapy or Shiatsu sessions (50 mins each) 3 full body massages – primarily acupressure and connective tissue massages (50 mins each) 3 combination heat packs (hay flowers and moor)

€2,299 for 1 week plus Mayr medication price excludes accommodation (room rates from €158 per night/person)