Tale of heartbreak set to help parents heal

Emma should have been celebrating her 32nd birthday with family and friends.

There would have been a cake, gifts and jokes about growing old. Instead, her family will remember her as she was, a smiley 5-monthold baby who should have had a long life ahead of her. Now her mum, Wendy King, is hoping to help other parents who have felt the heartbreak of losing a child.

Why Me? – How to Regain Hope

After the Death of a Child is Wendy’s personal account of losing her beloved first-born daughter to heart failure.

The Blenheim life coach hopes her words will help others heal too.

Emma was born in Dunedin at almost 32 weeks weighing just 840 grams and spent three and a half months in Neonatal Intensive Care.

Doctors discovered her heart was enlarged and blood tests later revealed Wendy had been exposed to German Measels while pregnant.

“As she was a one off baby, it was difficult for the doctors in the early stages of her life, to know what her long-term prognosis would be.

“In the early months I thought I was going to physically die.

“I developed a pain in my heart known as broken heart syndrome … which occurs when a person experiences sudden acute stress that can rapidly weaken the heart, you can actually die from this.”

Wendy says there was little in the way of support and she found the thought of joining a grief group “overwhelming.”

“As a first time mum and never experiencing losing any family member to death before, I found that overwhelming.

“I could not face walking into a room not knowing anyone and talk about my loss. I was devasted – I was suffering from a trauma.”

Eighteen months ago, Wendy started to write about her experience. She says she carried out her own research into the affects of trauma on the body and brain.

“I just didn’t want to go through the rest of my life feeling so helpless. There were also further studies recommended, which helped me understand and heal from the trauma of losing Emma. It was life changing.

“To know that you aren’t going mad, to be validated for what you are feeling, and what your brain and body is going through, and how to heal your mind and body, was amazing

“The intensity of her loss has gone. I miss her, but I don’t feel as if I am only just functioning –I need others that have suffered like me to know and understand why they feel the way they do and how they can heal.”

Wendy’s book is for sale at a pre-release of $19.95 (RRP $39.95) Visit https://tinyurl.com/ Why-me-book

Forest Hopes

A Marlborough couple who spent 25 years restoring a native forest in the Marlborough Sounds are bringing the forest to town. Brian and Ellen Plaisie, who run the Koru Native Wildlife Centre in Grovetown, want to establish a small, and biodiversity-rich native forest next to the wildlife centre. To fund the establishment of the community forest, the Plaisiers have opened a Givealittle page. To donate visit https://givealittle.co.nz/cause/ growing-dense-forest-full-of-native-wildlife.

Classic Cars

The 2023 Hospice Vehicle Display fundraiser takes place this Sunday, 19 March, at the Waterlea Racecourse on McLauchlan Street in Blenheim. The venue will be open from 9.30am for the display cars, with public viewing from 11 am. It is expected cars will be on display until 3.00pm. The entry fee is $5 per car and general public can get in for a gold coin donation. People are encouraged to bring a long a picnic.

Irish Exhibition

A tale of two men born 60km apart in Ireland during the early 1800s and laid to rest 10km apart in Marlborough is the theme of a new exhibition at Renwick Museum. Opening at 10am on St Patricks’ Day this Friday, the exhibition is being curated by museum volunteers Sharon Evans and Megan Ross. Sharon says she hopes more information on the Gee family will come to light during the running of the exhibition and also of other Irish settlers to the Renwick area in the 1800s.