MARRIAGE STUDIO a marriage guide for the modern couple
February 2015
MARRIED
SEX In this issue
+ Letter from Marie + The New Love Triangle + Get in the Mood + Gifts Your Spouse Will Love + Wife Talk
PA S S I O N love
butterflies KISS and tell Flirt *Wink*Tease
Hi there, sexy. Attraction. Passion. Butterflies. Holding hands. Flirting. Winking. Teasing. Sex. Then you get married and it all dies a slow and excruciating death. At least that's what they tell us. This month I want us all to remember the passion that used to exist in our marriages before we became bogged down with nasty in-laws or boring chores. This month I want us to pay attention to the sex. Pay attention to the desire. Pay attention to the need to see, touch, taste, and feel each other. This month I want us to be thankful for a spouse where we can have sex that isn't just physically fulfilling, but spiritually and emotionally connecting. This month I want us to make Married Sex the very best sex on the planet. Happy February!
Marie
February Member Downloads This month Marriage Studio members will have access to loads of tools to help them pay better attention to their sex lives! For just $10 you'll get access to everything below! + + + + +
4 Date Nights On Demand Married Sex Class (video) His Needs, Her Needs (mp3) Married Sex Worksheets (pdf) 28-day Sex Plan
Join the Marriage Studio now!
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The New Love Triangle
commitment
No, I'm not suggesting you find yourself a piece on the side. I am suggesting that you pay attention to your relationship's Love Triangle. One theory on love is that all relationships are built on Passion, Commitment, and Intimacy. Every relationship has varying degrees of each: A mother and child may be committed and emotionally intimate, but have no passion. The one night stand in college was all passion, and no commitment or intimacy. A marriage where you have a healthy sex life but no friendship would have commitment and passion, but no intimacy. A healthy marriage can be defined as one that has satisfying levels of commitment, passion, and intimacy. Not many relationships can say that! The reality is that it's hard to juggle so many satisfaction levels so we drop one, and for many it is passion that finds itself ignored and forgotten. On the next page do the Love Triangle Checkup to make sure your relationship is at its best!
The
Love Triangle Check Up Passion
Are you sexually attracted to each other? Are you flirting with one another? Is remaining physically attractive a priority for you? Is your sex life spontaneous at times? Is there still a thrill in being together?
Commitment
Have you made a commitment to one another? Do you trust that the commitment will be kept? Have you made plans for the future? What do you hope to accomplish together? Is your commitment to each other a source of peace or stress?
Intimacy Are you friends? Are you able to share your thoughts and feelings easily? Can you share a negative opinion without being afraid that your relationship will be harmed? Is this the first person you want to call with news? Do you empathize with your spouse?
Love without passion is dreary;
Passion without love is horrific.
Get in the Mood
Passionate sex requires new and exciting experiences. Married sex is often the very opposite of new and exciting. So the question is how do we get in the mood? How do we keep things sexy and fresh and exciting AND be in a monogamous and committed relationship?
Sexy Pics for Dummies Your iPhone is always with you, put it to work and put some sizzle in your love life. 1. Feeling hot today? Take pictures in advance and send them when you're in the mood. 2. Don't reuse pictures. Originality is key. 3. Find out what his weakness is and incorporate that. Boob guy? Push those suckers together and snap a picture. Butt? Put on flattering underwear and show it off. 4. Sometimes not showing it all is the way to go. Tasteful side boob/under boob is always good. Or partial boob under a big button down shirt/flannel. Make his imagination work. 5. Take pictures in the morning, it's when you're looking your skinniest. 6. Get into it. If you feel hot, you'll look hot! 7. Filters are your friend.
Maintain the Sexy Marriage is the perfect excuse to "let yourself go," but don't let that happen to you! Stay committed to your maintenance program. 1. Work out. Not because six pack abs matter, but because you want energy in the bedroom. Sex is cardio and requires stamina. 2. Put music on. Any small environment change like sexy music, candles, or satin sheets can help us step out of the daily grind and into fantasy land. 3. Tend to the garden. Remember how your genitalia was always prepared while you were dating? Yeah. Keep doing that.
Reenact '50 Shades of Grey' This book got all kinds of women excited. Just use Christian's playbook. 1. Take the lead. It doesn't have to go as far as spanking, but take the lead. Plan the date. Tell her what you want her to wear. Have an opinion. It is sexy. 2. Be a bajillionaire. Ok, that isn't easy, but being/acting like a baller for one night is always sexy. 3. Talk dirty all day long. For women, foreplay happens in the brain first. Text her all day long about what you want to do with her that night. Get her mind going first and her body is sure to follow.
MAINTAIN or ABSTAIN So, how does your garden grow? The best part of marriage? You can let yourself go and no one is going to dump you for it. The worst part of marriage? You can let yourself go and no one is going to dump you for it. There is no part of physical upkeep that is let go faster than landscaping the… private garden. Are we all on the same page? Good. Unless you are Kim Kardashian, no one really knows how you are doing at keeping things in shape Down There. No one, that is, except your spouse. He knows how you’re doing, and even though he’d (probably) never say it he’s wondering how things got so out of hand. Don’t let marriage and monogamy be your excuse. Decide today to get back to dating level upkeep (remember when your garden was ALWAYS on point? Yeah, your marriage deserves it.).
The Tools Invest in an electric trimmer, especially if you’ve let yourself REALLY go. The right tools will keep you from getting discouraged while cutting down the overgrown jungle.
The Commitment Carve out a chunk of the day where you can get everything back to where it’s supposed to be. Have someone take the kids so no one is banging on the bathroom door. You want lots of peace and quiet for this job.
The Schedule This is an issue of self-care, Ladies. Taking care of your garden is a form of taking care of yourself and a reminder to you (and your husband) that you’re a sexual being. Choose one day every week for maintenance so that you don’t find yourself in this hairy situation again.
WHAT DOES HE WANT? 1
2 4
3
5
1. Lingerie - The lingerie doesn't get him excited. A wife that initiates sex gets him excited. Do not put this gift in a box. 2. Sugar - You probably have him on some low-carb diet because you love him. Give the man cake. 3. Shower Love - Write down what you think about while in the shower. 4. Roses - He might want flowers, too. 5. Gadgets - This cool watch can get any tech geek going, no sex required!
WHAT DOES SHE WANT? 1
2 4
3
5
1. Vacuum - Not for her. For you. Do all of the chores one weekend and watch her swoon. 2. Notes - Send her a message that tells her how you FEEL about her. 3. Jewelry - A little bling never hurt anyone. 4. Roses - She definitely wants flowers. Bonus points for delivering them in front of an audience. 5. Getaway - A surprise weekend getaway is a surefire way to make her squeal.
We aren't the only ones talking and thinking about Married Sex. Here are some fun articles and blog posts we've found around The Internet that we think you might enjoy and/or find helpful. If you enjoy the articles and want to hear what other wives think then make sure you join our Wife Talk Meetup at the end of the month!
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WIFE
talk
Once upon a time before I was married I used to say things like, "Well, when I get married I'm still going to have sex all the time because I'm so into sex and sexsexsexsex I'm so sexual!" Because in those days, I had no idea what the hell I was talking about.
"Sex WTF/FTW" by Rebecca Woolf
You remember what it was like – every time you saw each other, it was all you could do to keep your paws off each other. I believe I spent the first 6 months of my relationship with my husband with JBF hair. What’s that, you ask? What’s JBF hair? Think about it: “Just Been…”
"The Five Stages of Parents' Sex Life" by Dani Ryan
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At 32, Beyonce feels free. Completely and utterly safe with Jay and that type of vulnerability is HOT. You ever disrobe in front of someone and all you can think about is how amazing they are and how excited you are to be with them in that moment? You’re not thinking about your stretch marks or the bills piled up on the counter. You are together. And that is enough. That is the message “BEYONCE” is sending.
"Beyonce's New Album is the Blueprint for Modern Womanhood" by Tara Jefferson
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At the beginning, when he asked why I had started to wear clothes to bed, I just smiled and said I was just trying something different. When my nighttime wear shifted from cotton to silk, lycra to lace, he stopped asking questions.
Marriage a la Francaise by Gina Zupsich
There's nothing over-the-top about Kyle Chandler or Connie Britton's acting -- nothing out of the ordinary, either -- but their marriage comes across as steamy. They bicker and flub, sure, but they also talk to each other like they remember why they tied the knot in the first place -- so that they could jump each other's bones after breakfast.
"The Sexiness of Marriage in Friday Night Lights"" by Adam Miller
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