5 Steps to Surviving a Noisy Campus

Lex Diersch

Are the leaf blowers making you get up early on your one day to sleep in? Is the Douglas fire alarm putting a damper on your chill, lofi beats study time? Never fear, for I have devised a list of things you can do to get through it and survive the noise!

1. Find a pit of sand or dirt and stick your head into it like an ostrich. If you put your head in deep enough, you will no longer be able to hear all of the annoying campus noises.

2. Hire someone to keep their hands over your ears at all times. Your arms will get pretty tired after a while and your noise-cancelling airpods will die eventually. Plus, you get a friend to keep you company as an added bonus.

3. Pound your head against a nearby wall. After a while, the ringing in your ears will drown out the noise.

4. Make sure to stay hydrated. All of that yelling at your neighbours to be quiet while you’re trying to study is going to make your throat super hoarse and dry, so make sure to have a bottle of water with you at all times. Or even a nice, refreshing glass of lemonade from the Bookstore Caf will get the job done. Just make sure you don’t drink too much, or you will be spending most of the day going to the bathroom.

5. If you’re really frustrated, find an abyss or a void and scream into it. There’s nothing more soothing than letting out all your frustration at an all-consuming black hole. And, if you’re lucky, the void might just scream back at you.

All of this noise can be a bit overwhelming. You might find yourself wondering if the Douglas alarms will ever cease. However, by following these simple tips, you can make it through! Don’t forget that it will all be over eventually. I think.