Tomiwa Oyedokun

DECLASSIFIEDS

Too scared to ask out that hot girl from Rels class? Have a thought you’re dying to share? Did a professor say something strange or funny? Do you have some information that you want to get out to the student body? Whatever it is, the declassifieds are here for you.

Submit yours at www.marshillnewspaper.com/declassifieds.

I vote fned should be the new TWU logo

Hailey Hrvatin is the bomb.

fned is the new egg???

Follow @fned.offical on instagram

All in favour of admitting that the word “responsibility” has too many “i”s, say “me”.

Patagonia CEO not selfless, saving $$$ on taxes using “climate change” as excuse

George Dumitrascu commits tax fraud

I dont think george is romanian. A man with that hair has to be kazak

“The brass players are saying “We Want Meat”” - Dr. Thorpe

Trinity trying to be like a small European town with all the bells but really they’re just pissing us off

If the Moral Koala doesn’t return for this year’s Mars Hill, I’m gonna riot.

That Bret guy who loves Milton has better fashion than every guy at this school

Pineapples and salsa???

How many people here knows about TWU’s subreddit?

“It’s not everyday that your professor reenacts the birth canal experience”- Todd Dutka

Ed is a secret celebrity. He’s the face of Gerber. Baby’s all grown up now :3

Rels 101 is NOT like veggie tales. Where is the cucumber?

“Are torch kids called flame kids now?” - Neftali

Mars Hill team is killing it this year! 11:07 Michael looks and sounds like he’s lost his will to live

Dr Holly Nelson is a gem and she is who I will miss most when I can’t afford this university anymore

Long ago, the 11:07 team performed together in harmony. Then. Everything changed when the administration attacked. Only Braedon Grover Sunnes, master of all forms of improv comedy, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he graduated.

Pie I just want pie

When TWUSA breaks into your apartment and leaves you with a pie.

Quickly, we must save the de-classifieds.

Theatre? More like theat-her right? Get it? Kinda sounds like her

Chocky milk make the pain go away

Fat Bear Week was legendary

Pirates of the Caribbean slaps. Great movie 10/10 no notes

The only spirit I’m searching for this Halloween is the Holy Spirit. Can I get an amen?

Declassifieds are like constipation, confessions are like laxatives. More regular, more often

Someone should write an article about Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. That would a great Arts and Culture article.

The person who runs the 11:07 Instagram account has yet to discover that you can post photos not in a square ratio

skip class. eat sandwich I simply refuse to submit to twu confessions, so i will participate in the conversation here: hot stoner meetup?

In the Langley School Trustee Race: Neil Turner

I’d a poet, and I didn’t even know I was rhyming those words.

y’all I gotta be honest I got so much hotter after I graduated and didn’t settle down with the first average white man I saw on O day

olivia corps has big rat energy and i mean that as the highest compliment

I sneezed on your mom

I don’t think people are taught to think critically anymore and honestly how are you supposed to have an educated conversation if you can’t at least listen to the person you are talking too?

*Hannah in TWUSA plays childish gambino*

“What is going on here!” Andrew Borchard as he bursts from the TWUSA office.

can i be sl*tty here like twu confessions?

back 40 cult meeting october 18th 11pm at the trampoline

Ella Throness is the prosecco to my negroni sbagliato.

Christian, come back to the theatre department. We miss u. <3

“And that is break when you get back we will talk about bombing!”

i might be getting a dog Can someone tell me why the water in Macmillan is so hot? I like drinking warmer than room temp water as much as the next person but being boiled alive in the shower is a bit much.

BOYCOTT THE CENSORING OF MARS HILL

Editor’s Note: Are we being censored? This is the first I’m hearing of it. -Seth

Mars’ Hill reserves the right to edit or reject submissions based on content and/or length. A printed submission does not reflect an endorsement of any kind, nor does it reflect the opinions of Mars’ Hill or its staff, the student association, or Trinity Western University.

The Josh Report

Date and time: 2022-10-14, 11:42. Location: Reimer Student Centre. Student Suspicion Level (SSL): Low.

REPORT: The Josh, unable to infiltrate any of the dorms, has decided to dig a hole big enough to sleep in. He has chosen a spot near the Reimer Student Centre, where students occasionally throw him Sodexo leftovers. Some students have taken a liking to The Josh. They taught him his first word: “Heartsparkle.”