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EDITORIAL BOARD
SAN DIEGO, Martin Jhudiel Editor-in-Chief
GO, Jan Vincent Master of Faith
TABLE OF CONTENTS Family as the presence of God’s Kingdom page 2-3
Leaning towards God for Love Advice
ROQUE, Trizia Roby-Ann First Lady
OCAMPO, Ervin James Musical Director
TOLENTINO, Mark Anthony Lead Writer
Dear Ms. Mellany, Thank You for being such a great TRED prof! Your lectures were the best because all came from your heart, you barely needed materials to make us understand each topic. We will put in to our lives everything we learned from your class. Your fans, Editor-in-Chief & First Lady
page 4
Statistics and Facts page 5-6
Love and Marriage: A photo Essay page 7-8
Singing together page 9-10
That’s what HE said page 11-12
ABOUT THE COVER The wedding ring symbolizes the bond shared between two persons in Marriage. The circles express timelessness of love; usually with it are diamonds, but what if our wedding rings came with the crucifix? Wedding is not merely the bond between the wedded persons, but also a covenant with God and the Church, to love one another, and to serve others.
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Family as the presence of God’s Kingdom and miniature of the Church by Ervin James Ocampo Family starts when two people come together and make vows between God and the two of them to live a life that is faithful, loving and fruitful. It’s not just about two people, it’s about the prospect of making family together. The husband and wife are asked to accept children into their lives thus truly becoming a family. In fact, children are a requirement for a Catholic marriage. If a couple can’t even accept the possibility
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of having and raising children then they cannot partake in the sacrament of marriage. Because marriage is about selfless love; when a coupe becomes parents, this where they become service of others, to their children. But more than this, it is rewarding to the parents as they hand over their moral, spiritual and faith life over to their children; which is called the domestic Church.
There are two purposes of marriage. One is the uniting couple through total gift of self and two, the procreating and educating of children. It is in the second purpose where we can assert that is only through marriage and creating a family can God’s presence can be felt and it is in educating these children can family be a domestic Church, a true miniature of the Church.
ETERNAL The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) says: “The family is the original cell of social life. It is the natural society in which husband and wife are called to give themselves in love and in the gift of life. Authority, stability, and a life of relationships within the family constitute the foundations for freedom, security, and fraternity within society. The family is the community in which, from childhood, one can learn moral values, begin to honor God, and make good use of freedom. Family life is an initiation into life in society.” God’s Kingdom here on earth is supposed to make us realize that there is in fact, a God that loves us, inspires us, and at the end of the day will save us. As Christians, we aspire to manifest the Kingdom of God here on earth. It is supposed to have on impact on our thoughts, actions and relationships. In the same way that our most direct contact when we form our values are our respective families,
our families are our constant reminders that God’s Kingdom exists in our midst. They remind us of the unconditional love God has for us, the same way that they are to continually support and unconditionally love us as well. To be the primary manifestations of God’s word and teachings is the primary role of a family. Therefore, if one could feel the existence of God’s Kingdom, it would be in his family, nowhere else. There are different people composing the Church. One group of people is the priests. They are in charge of making sure of imbibing the Catholic doctrines in their parishioners. The same way that parents are there to imbibe in a child the right and wrong. The parishioners are the children, willing to learn, living out what is taught to them. It is the role of the Church to make sure that its people are in line with God. The Church spearheads the teachings of morality, of good and evil. But then again, a person starts
to learn these things at home. Fundamentally, parents have this inherent role of ensuring that their children before they step out of their respective houses will uphold the basic teachings of the Church. In this sense we can see the family as the miniature of the Church. Tie these two definitions together; we go back to what the CCC says. As the original cell of social life, the family dictates what kind of society we will ultimately live in. A choice on our part, as Christians to fulfill our roles in our respective families to be the model Church that can be emanated by others is the make or break point. The Catholic Church recognizes that, this is why a lot of emphasis is placed on the formation of families. Families as the optimum place for moral development, for decision-making, to learn how to love and be loved are just a few of key concepts that cannot be learned anywhere else.
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Leaning towards God for Love Advice by Trizia Roby-Ann Roque
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.“ - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 This famous verse above tells that love is everything good and great. When you love someone, you try to keep up even with the most unreasonable trait there is. When you love someone, you desire for the good of your partner. When you love someone, you do not make judgments. When you love someone, you keep in mind that everything you do is for the one you love and for God. Patience So don’t get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time. - Galatians 6:9 In here, we are reminded of the saying that ‘Patience is a virtue’. Inspite all that hurts, there will always be that right moment when all will fall into the right place; you just have to be patient, persevere and try to solve them with hopes up. Yes, it’s true that it can be frustrating at times that we live a life full of problems, but when we stand before God, none of that is going to matter. Communication A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is eventempered. - Proverbs 17:27 A person who does not know how to control his anger can speak insensitive words against others and this, oftentimes,
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causes quarrels. Communication and deep understanding is essential to have a harmonious relationship. Conflict Resolution Those who control their anger have great understanding; those with a hasty temper will make mistakes. - Proverbs 14:29
Sexuality “The husband should not deprive his wife of sexual intimacy, which is her right as a married woman, nor should the wife deprive her husband. - 1 Corinthians 7:3
Everyone must learn how to control their temper no matter how difficult situation is. Everytime that you face a crisis, don’t let your emotions get to you for it will only weaken your sense of thinking. It is through careful thinking and calmness that resolution can be achieved.
In here, we are reminded of the saying that ‘Patience is a virtue’. Inspite all that hurts, there will always be a right moment when all will fall into the right place eventually; you just have to be patient, persevere and try to solve them. Yes, it’s true that it can be frustrating at times that we live a life full of problems, but when we stand before God, none of that is going to matter.
Divorce
Parenting
“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’ And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one separate them, for God has joined them together.” - Matthew 19:4-6
Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it. - Proverbs 22:6
Divorce is never an option. When two persons get married, they vow, with the church and God as their witness, that they will love each other and stay together no matter what. As for the vows, they should be together, for richer and poorer, for sickness and in health and until the very last day of their lives.
It is the duty of the parents to teach their children the righteous way of living and it is their major responsibility to try their very best to fulfill it. With the right values and morals that the children learns from their parents, they become good inviduals, even in the future. With good principles as their foundation, they can become effective citizens for God and the country. References: http://liferelationships.com/resources/ biblical_resources/bible_verses.asp
Vital Statistics by Jan Vincet Go
Only 10%
of people who leave their marriage end up marrying the person with whom they had an affair.
In an argument with your partner, when your heart rate goes over
100 beats per minute,
you are incapable of hearing what your partner is trying to tell you.
40% of women
would consider dumping
a boyfriend if her friends didn’t like him.
One hour
is the time it takes for a woman to determine whether or not she wants to date a man again.
15 minutes
The time it takes for a man to determine whether or not he wants to date a woman again.
Goodbye kisses
studies indicate that a man who kisses his wife goodbye when he leaves for work averages a higher income than the guy who doesn’t do that. Husbands who show affection are said to be more stable and methodical, and thus, end up receiving bigger pay checks.
Ten Teen Facts 1. The U.S. has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the industrialized world – twice as high as in England or Canada, and ten times higher as in Switzerland. 2. About 750,000 teens get pregnant in the United States each year. Nevada has the highest teen birth rate; 113 out of every 1,000 teens will get pregnant. 3. About 1 in 3 women become pregnant at least once before they’re 20. 4. A sexually active teen that does not use contraceptives has a 90% chance of becoming pregnant within a year. 5. It affects education - only a third of teen mothers earn their high school diploma. And only 1.5% have a college degree by age 30.
8. 8 in 10 girls and 6 in 10 boys say they wish they had waited until they were older to have sex. 9. Most teens (6 in 10) and adults (3 in 4) believe that teen boys often receive the message that they are “expected to have sex.”
Sources:
10. Diapers are expensive, but it’s nothing compared to the $9 billion that teen pregnancy costs the United States each year. This includes increased spending in child welfare costs and public sector health care.
http://www.lovepanky.com/entertainment/gossip/relationship-facts
7. 75% of girls and over half of boys report that girls who have sex do so because their boyfriends want them to.
http://facts.randomhistory.com/dating-and-relationship-facts.html
6. It also affects their kids - girls born to teen mothers are more likely to be teen mothers themselves. Boys born to teen moms are more likely to end up in prison.
Love and Marriage Photos by Martin San Diego & Trizia Roque
"There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage." Martin Luther
Singing together:
the psychologist and the chef by Mark Tolentino
“Each day is memorable in our marriage, just appreciate life each day and you will feel no problem at all,�
this is what Mrs. Len-len Alarde, a 35-year-old housewife, answered when we asked her if in their marriage life, she and her husband had a big fight that was hard to resolve. Mrs. Len-len is a psychologist before when she was still single.
However, when she got married, she left her job. She did not want to find a job now because she is thinking whether she can earn more when she is just home or she can earn more when she is working at the office. For now, she is an owner of a sari-sari store and
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ETERNAL property owner of two houses with different rooms for rent. In the early stage of their marriage, Mr. Chris Alarde, who is a FilipinoChinese but an American citizen, has worked in the US as a gourmet chef; but due to the recent recession in the US, her husband went home and lost the job. That is why they are together again now. However, for their 8 years of marriage, they did not have the chance to raise their own child. That is why, while taking in-charge of their store and houses, she is also taking care of her 19 dogs. Mrs. Alarde told us that they are still hoping to have their own kid. However, if fate does not reward them one, they are going to take the option of adopting a child. In the meantime, she is giving her motherly care to her niece since her niece is away from her parents. Unfortunately, her niece does not know the truth. Her niece just knows that Mrs. Alarde is her older sister. This secret is still hidden to her niece because they told us that her niece is too young to know the truth already. As we continued to interview Mrs. Alarde, the conversation was diverted to their love story. They started out as friends serving as choir members for the same church. That time, Mr. Alarde has different girlfriend. However, as time went by, people and their feelings also changed. That is why Mr. Alarde courted Mrs. Alarde. When we asked Mr. Alarde what is the reason behind his feelings for Mrs. Alarde back then, he jokingly
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said that he liked Mrs. Alarde’s legs. By the time they are ready to get to the next level, Mr. Alarde told us that he just did a simple proposal. He just gave his wife a ring. “Then, that was it,” Mr. Alarde told us.
wants to get married, should have. The couple should also have a stable job in order for them to have something to eat because love is not enough to survive physically in married life.
Before we ended our conversation, Even before we leave, they let we asked them a last question, us took photos of their wedding “How do you know if you are ready album. to get married?” The couple said that one should be emotionally mature, which is the most important thing a person, who
That’s what HE said Excerpts from Fr. Karol Wojtyla’s Love and Responsibility by Mark Anthony Tolentino “Marriage is an act of will that signifies and involves a mutual gift, which unites the spouses and binds them to their eventual souls, with whom they make up a sole family - a domestic church.,” quoted by Pope John Paul II. Nearly 20 years before he became Pope John Paul II and known as Fr. Karol Wojtyla, he wrote a compelling explanation of what destroys relationships and how to make them living and growing a meaningful experience that makes us to better people, in his book, Love & Responsibility. In the introduction of Pope John Paul II’s book, he described his reason for writing the book as being ‘born principally of the need to put the norms of Catholic sexual morality on a firm basis, a basis as definitive as possible, relying on the most elementary and incontrovertible moral truths and the most fundamental values or goods.’ Pope John Paul II’s book comprises five chapters: The Person and The Sexual Urge; The Person and Love; The Person and Chastity; Justice to the Creator; and Sexology and Ethics. In every chapter, people will learn not just something but good things for love and its true responsibility. The Person and The Sexual Urge The first chapter of the book involves two major parts, the Analysis of the Verb “to Use” and Interpretation of the Sexual Urge. Each major part discusses different ideas from Pope John Paul II dealing the person himself and the sexual urge. To establish the opening chapter of the book, Pope John Paul II focused on proper
“to Use” and discussed how a person could be a subject and object of each action. Then, he gave the readers a view of how the “to Use” is employed to as how it literally means and how it should be viewed. He also tackles “Love” as the big opposite of “Using” as positive solution to the problem of the proper attitude to have toward a person. He insisted that love is only possible if both parties bond to a common good that no one is aggravated. He proceeded to the concept of “Utilitarianism” that puts the emphasis on the usefulness of any and every human activity. The useful is whatever gives pleasure and excludes its opposite, for pleasure is the essential ingredient of human happiness. He also said that the value of a person is always greater than the value of pleasure where comes the negativity of using a person for your own pleasure and not following the true meaning of love. After that, the interpretation of sexual urge came in. He asked in the book whether every man’s action could be classified into an instinct or just the urge. As urge was related to the sexual urge itself, he then classified it as an attribute of an individual. Then quoted, the sexual urge is a natural drive born in all human beings, a vector of objective along which their whole existence develops. He added that if not for sexual urge, people would not exist. In ending the first chapter, he said that love owes its fertility in the biological sense to the sexual urge… but it must also possess a fertility of its own in the spiritual, moral, and personal sphere. The Person and Love In his second chapter, he stood in three major analyses of love: metaphysical analysis, psychological analysis and the ethical analysis.
He started the first analysis by describing love as attraction, desire, and goodwill. He explained love as attraction based on feelings of a person arising spontaneously but considering the feeling as “blind.” While desire, love as desire was a result of a person being naturally not self-sufficient, thus, there is a need for other beings. On love being goodwill, He quoted that love is the fullest realization of the possibilities inherent in man. As goodwill, it is not enough to long for a person as a good for oneself; one must also, and above all, long for the good of that person. He then takes up the problem of reciprocity of love between people, the movement from sympathy to love, and concludes this part with a discussion of betrothed love. After describing what love is in the first part, Pope John Paul II then offers interesting analyses of sensuality and sentiment, which he regards as “raw material” for human love, and then the problem of integrating love. This section of The Person and Love lets the reader get equipped for the discussion in The Person and Chastity dealing with the integration of sensuality and sentiment as “raw material” for love. However, before entering the third chapter, Pope John Paul II discussed the ethical analysis of love that it is impossible to integrate the various elements of love, to have psychological completeness in love unless ethical completeness is attained. This is possible only by considering love as a virtue acquired when one shapes one’s choices with truth. The Person and Chastity The third chapter of the book contains three major parts, of which the first is devoted to the rehabilitation of chastity,
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“Chastity is best understood as part of the virtue of love, which seeks to respect the high value of the whole person, rather than as part ofthe virtue of moderation which regulates sexual experiences. “ “Marriage is an act of will that signifies and involves a mutual gift, which unites the spouses and binds them to their eventual souls, with whom they make up a sole family - a domestic church.” the second to the metaphysics of shame, and the last is the subject of continence and the difference between continence and chastity. Pope John Paul II began by noting that today there is hostile dislike even to talk about chastity. If we look at matters in this light, we can see that chastity, far from being intimidating to love, in fact enables us to love rightly, for it frees us from everything that makes ‘dirty’ and is rooted in an “attitude towards a person of the opposite sex which derives from sincere affirmation of the worth of that person.” He also stressed that neither sensuality nor worldly desire is itself a sin. After talking about chastity, he then analyzed the phenomenon of shame. According to him, shame arises “when something which of its very nature or in view of its purpose ought to be private passes the bounds of a person’s privacy and somehow becomes public.” Then, he wrote that shame is a natural reflection of the essential nature of a person as incommunicable and inalienable. Following the discussion on shame was the problems of continence. The final section of the chapter, Pope John Paul II treats of another component of chastity – a component, not the true virtue – namely continence or self-control. He takes that a continent person is someone who can control his sexual desires over love. Justice Toward The Creator The fourth chapter was divided into two major points: marriage and vocation. On topic about marriage, Pope John Paul II discussed monogamy and the indissolubility of marriage, the value of the institution, procreation and parenthood,
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and periodic continence: method and interpretation. He argued that monogamy and the indissolubility of marriage are required by the personalistic norm, stating, “Attempts to solve the problem of marriage other than by monogamy are incompatible with the personalistic norm and fall short of its strict demands in that they put one person in the position of an object to be enjoyed by another.” Next, he argued that the institution of marriage justifies the intimate sexual relationship between husband and wife in the eyes of society because the institution serves to protect the interpersonal structure of marriage as a community of two persons united or made one because of their love. He then distinguished sharply two orders that meet in the sexual union of man and woman: the “order of nature which has as its object reproduction, and the personal order, which finds its expression in the love of persons and aims at the fullest realization of that love.” About periodic continence, Pope John Paul II’s major claim is that periodic continence is the only way to face the problem of birth regulation because continence is a “condition of love, the only attitude towards a partner in marriage and particularly towards a wife, compatible with affirmation of the value of a person.” Sexology and Ethics This last chapter of the book is also called “supplementary survey” that includes six sections: introductory remarks, sexual urge, marriage and marital intercourse, problem of birth control, sexual psychopathology and ethics, and therapy. In his introductory remarks, Pope John Paul II highlights the superiority
of ethics over empirical studies, and he repudiates what he calls pure sexology. About sexual urge, He cited certain findings of sexology that enable us to understand more fully how sexual stimuli affect men and women differently, how boys and girls differ in their sexual awakening. Such information can be of value in understanding better the complex of somatic and physiological factors conditioning the sensual reactions in which the sexual urge manifests itself. On the topic of marriage and marital intercourse, Pope John Paul II has written that when it comes to sexual intercourse, man should also be concerned with how the woman reaches climax. Both of them are involved in the sexual intercourse, so they should help and be familiar of each other whether they reach climax or not. He said that both of them should reach in harmony. If this were not paid attention well, especially by the man, the woman would have hostile attitude towards sex. For the problem on birth control, he summarizes that there can be two elements for proper birth control: readiness during intercourse to accept parenthood and that readiness to practice continence that derives from virtue, from love for the closest of persons. References: Love & Responsibility Foundation (2002). John Paul II on Love & Responsibility. New York. Wojtyla, Karol (1981). Love and Responsibility. San Francisco: Ignatius Press. May, William. Karol Wojtyla’s Love and Responsibility: A Summary.
“Don’t rush into any kind of relationship. Work on yourself. Feel yourself, experience yourself and love yourself. Do this first and you will soon attract that special loving other. “ Russ Von Hoelscher