Experience by Screw Loose Press

Experience

A Lit Mag for Kids, By Kids, and About Kids

Screwloose Press Managing Editor Mary Hope Mulcahy Acquisitions Editor Mallory Rogers Copy Editor Jaidyn Taylor Design Editor Jesus Albarran

More than a Ribbon.................................3-8 Photography by Mallory Rogers

Light...........................................................9-10 Drawing by Adia Marti

The Pillow.................................................11-12 Photography by Renatta Rogers

Tired and Sleepless.................................13-14 Drawing by Samantha Limbach

Black Hole................................................15-16 Drawing by Smantha Limbach

Peters Weakness......................................17-18 Gone.........................................................19-20 Drawing by Samantha Limbach

Perpective.................................................21-22 Drawing by Samantha Limbach

The Richest of them all...........................23-24 Illustration by Celia Wu

Aquarius...................................................25-26 Drawing by Adia Marti

Ode To Clovis .........................................27-28 Shasta........................................................29-30 Drawing by Max Marti

Introduction Screw Loose Press’s first literary magazine, Experience, stems from our desire to capture the complexities of youth. Included in this magazine are poems, short stories, drawings, and photographs by young artists. We are excited and proud to be publishing young voices, and know our pages will be the right home for the works these creatives have produced. Youth is a universal experience. And yet, it is something which humans quickly lose touch with. Through the collection of these works, we hope not only to help young readers to relate to writing and writers by seeing that our experiences in life are more universal than divisive; we hope to help older readers take a small step toward remembering what it was like to be impulsive, to be confused, to be hopeful, and to be young.

Many of these works capture the innocence of childhood and the kindness of humanity. The poem “Light” is about the beauty of the nature, friendship, and love which surround each of us, even on our darkest days. “Aquarius,” touches on the power of independence and self-confidence. Also included are works about gratitude for parents, musings on the love of pets, and wistfulness for the comforts of home. These are the central playful themes of growing up. Some works, however, paint a darker picture of growing up. There are stories of loss, first love, and the relationships that aren’t always easy to navigate as we get older. “Peter’s Weakness” explores a first crush, and the conflict of not wanting to grow up. “

“Gone” describes the deeply personal experience of loss, as the poet reflects on lies and deceit that shattered young love. “Black Hole” is about the inherent Janus-looking nature of emotions; the self-preserving instinct to hide them always caught by our desire to share them with the world, though we more than often bottle them up. If these works teach the reade If these works teach the reader anything, we hope the lesson is this: it’s okay to feel. One must not repress the need to rejoice in life’s triumphs. To cry during life’s struggles. Laugh when something is funny. Punch a pillow when you’re angry. Tell a friend you’re sad. And love with your whole heart. Writing, drawing, and photography is also an incredible outlet for these emotions. Keep on creating.

A Note From the Editors: All proceeds from this magazine will go to the Sandy Hook Promise, because we want schools to be a safe place for students to learn. The classroom should remain a place where young minds explore ideas about the world, themselves, and the people around them. And every child deserves to return home, at the end of the school day, to continue their self-discovery and growth.

More Than

A Ribbon Cassidy Ritz “Come on, you stupid lamb!” I growled through clenched teeth as I yanked on the halter, throwing my weight into it. The lamb wouldn’t budge. I looked at the lamb in frustration, hoping my dark look would motivate it. The animal’s head angled back and her black eyes opened wide. Her hooves dug into the soft dirt, only aiding in her resistance. “She won’t move!” I called to my dad who stood outside the makeshift ring, an amused grin on his face. Try pulling her tail,” he said. I grimaced. I hated that. The tail’s only a stubble, and everyone knows what goes on below it— and my dad wanted me to grab it? I stepped closer to the lamb and reached down with two fingers. I stuck my fingers underneath the small bump and tugged. Nothing. “You’ve got to be kidding,” I mumbled, sending another crusty to the lamb. She relaxed her body and looked straight ahead, and I swore I saw a smugness there. If I’d known 4-H would be this hard, I may not have signed up, but I couldn’t give my lamb back to Kelly now. “Pull harder!” my older brother said as he tapped his boot. I held my siblings and their lambs up as we walked them in a circle. I noticed that his lamb cooperated perfectly. I did as he said and the lamb surged forward dragging me with him. I yelled and tightened the rope in my hands. I ran to get ahead of the beast and couldn’t help the victorious grin I sent her way— right before she stopped.

“Come on!” I said and tugged on the rope, I would not stick my hands in that area one more time. I stared and thought about the way my brother walked his lamb and decided to try it. I gathered the rope into my right hand and placed in on the lamb’s neck, grimacing as I felt the oily and muddy wool. I placed my left hand under its jaw. The lamb bleated and its black tongue grazed my hand. “Wonderful,” I said as I wiped slime off onto my pants, then again held onto its jaw. I urged the lamb forward and to my surprise, it fell into step next to me. We made it a whole lap around the ring without stopping and I didn’t hold my siblings up one more time. *** Three months later I sat in the five-foot by five-foot pen. I sat surrounded by one hundred and twenty other lambs, along with the hogs and steers who milled about their stalls. The animals acted restless, as if they knew of the long night ahead of them. The fair came and went in what seemed a blink. Four days ago we brought our lambs to the fairgrounds, showed them to the judge, and auctioned them. I sat in the sawdust next to my lamb and petted her black, bony head trying to keep the tears from falling. Lulu became much more than the stubborn lamb I fought against daily. I had spent countless hours training her to walk next to me and she performed exceptionally despite my escalated nerves.

Tonight, I would have to say goodbye, and I hadn’t anticipated this goodbye would be difficult. I stood and wiped the sawdust from her sides and legs. Then I gave her one last hug, wrapping my arms around her neck. Deep inside, I knew this was right. Her meat would feed many families over the next couple months. A family would eat a roast, one that they would not have been able to afford on their own. I imagined two little boys’ faces as they saw the steaming pot, eyes wide, and licking lips as their stomach’s hungry growl filled the air. I smiled, released Lulu and climbed out of the pen. With one last look over my shoulder, I said goodbye. *** My legs felt as frozen as the packages of meat I sat in. The large box had been filled with the meat donated by our 4-H group. After helping the Utah Food Bank the past two years, I no longer thought about how some of the packages of meat might be my lamb. I smiled to everyone that came to my box as I handed the packaged meat to them. A man snapped a picture of me in my purple sweat suit.

As I stood knee deep in frozen meat, he asked for my name and age. Two days later, as my parents looked at the Desert News, they saw my picture. I went to school the next day, and saw my picture on the board. My teacher cut it out of the newspaper and kept it up for the rest of the year. *** I stood in line, waiting to go into the ring for my last time. I brushed down my lamb and watched as the group in the ring began to lead their lambs out of the gate. I saw the first two kids come out, holding a giant green ribbon against their lambs’ necks. They had a grin that could not betray what they just won. Grand Champion and Reserve Champion Showmanship for their class. My dream. It’s the goal that I has worked towards for ten years, my focus each year as I stepped into that ring. Now, I had one last chance to obtain that goal. I had been close. I watched the way the judge’s eyes followed me around the ring. I knew with confidence that I was showing my lamb just the way I ought to. I met my dad’s gaze as he stood in the crowd, giving me a thumbs up. I was doing well! Then, I suddenly found myself on the wrong side of my lamb.

My mind went blank on how to move from this position. I blocked the view of my lamb. If I stood there any longer, the judge would notice. I glanced at my dad, but the judge suddenly moved in between the two of us. He could not coach me anymore. I was on my own. With some doubt, I lifted my leg and attempted to step over my lamb. As my foot came near to the ground, I knew with clarity that I shouldn’t make that move. I hurriedly brought my foot back over and saw that the judge was watching me. Then it hit me. I moved my right hand under the jaw of my lamb and moved to his other side. Despite the awkwardness, I kept my right hand under his jaw and my left placed at the back of his neck. I looked back to the judge and saw a small smile pulling at his lips. I had no idea where I stood after that. The judge had us walk around the ring once more before taking the microphone. “I had my champion picked from the start, and it would have been this young lady right here,” he said pointing to me.

“But, then she almost stepped over her lamb. However, because she corrected it, I will be giving her third place.” I nodded, trying to mask my true disappointment. I knew that I had messed up, and getting third place was better than I should have expected. I have used that day to remind me that I will not get third place this year. This is the year that I will get Senior Class Grand Champion Showmanship. I know I am ready. I spent extra time this year to make sure that I am oiled in all my maneuvers. My dad had played the judge, walking around our ring at home in order to help me practice. Now, I just needed to follow through. The gate opened, and the first lamb went in. I watched as one by one, those ahead of me lead their lambs around the ring, cheesy grins plastered on many of their faces as they look at the judge. It’s the same judge from last year, and I am confident that he likes my style of showing. This calmed my nerves significantly. I reach the front, pull on my lambs’ neck, and he followed me without question. I look up and smile sincerely at the judge. I felt my heart beating heavily, but continued to do as I should. I walked my lamb around the ring several times, keeping pace with the others.

When the judge motions for us to stop, I hurry and check my lamb’s legs to make sure they are square. I adjusted his stance with the toe of my boot as necessary, pushing his hoof back in the sawdust. I stand tall and look at the judge, who notices my swift performance. The judge then gave us the go ahead, and we walked around the circle once more. After a moment, he stopped us and instructed us to line up in the middle of the ring. It’s time for him to feel the lamb for its muscle. When he stepped up to me, I placed my knee in the chest of my lamb. I braced it against the judge’s hands which helped to firm the lamb’s muscle. When he walks to the person on my right, I switched sides. My lamb is always to be between me and the judge. The judge then decides to move us around according to the placing of our lambs. Now for the tricky part. He points for me to move my lamb towards the top of the ring. I switched sides and lead my lamb out of our spot in the lineup. He still stood between the judge and me. Then, I turned my lamb’s head, switched my hands, and turned him around without blocking the view of the judge. I pulled the lamb back through our spot, walking him to the place the judge specified. I set my lamb’s feet and brace his chest the way I had before. The judge is a few feet away, but directly in front of me. The judge tested many others, many of whom did just as well as I did, and I silently applauded them. It is the hardest part of showing.

The judge walked around once more, and we moved accordingly, though some of us quicker than others. He walked towards the side of the ring where the tables sit, and asked for the microphone. He began by explaining what a great group we were. He discussed the things that we had done well, and the things that some of us could improve on. I looked down to ensure that my sheep’s legs are square, and I hear the words that I longed to hear for years. “I will be giving the Grand Champion ribbon to this young lady on the left.” I glanced up, and looked to my left to found no one standing there. I looked to the judge and saw him pointing the ribbon directly at me. Applause erupted from the audience, but the only sound I could hear was my heart thumping in my chest. I won. I did it! The judge walked towards me and extended the ribbon. I took it and shook his hand gratefully. “Thank you!” I said. “Great job,” he said before going to hand out the other ribbons. The rest of my time in the ring was a blur. People congratulating me, someone writing my name down for the records. Then we were ushered out to put our lambs away. I spoke sweetly to my lamb as I walked him back to the pen. He helped me to win this. Because of the time that I spent with him on all those nights, and mornings, he had been as ready to perform as I had.

We won it together. I lead my lamb back into his pen, gave him a rub down, and took off running to my family. My parents hugged me, and told me they are proud of me. My 4-H leader, Kelly, came up and gave me one of his famous teddy bear hugs. “You did good,” he told me before going to help the others with their lambs. I had done good. I sat down and held my green ribbon in my hands, I recalled all of the literal blood, sweat and tears that have gone into holding this in my hand. I spent hundreds of hours over the past ten years working my lambs, washing and shearing them, and practicing the ways to show a lamb. I have worked for this simple, fabric ribbon more than I have likely worked for anything else. This program has played such a vital role in my development. All of the relationships that I have built as our 4-H group gathered at Kelly’s house to wash and shear our lambs. We had laughed, ate pizza, and helped each other with all of the lambs. Together, we donated over one million pounds of meat to the Utah Food Bank. I look at Kelly, reassuring one of the younger kids who is hugging his struggling lamb tightly around his neck, trying to keep a hold of the animal. Kelly had spent so much of his own time to help us succeed.

My parents have put in countless hours of their own time as well. Time helping with the fundraising; and waking us up on all those summer mornings only to hear us moan and grumble about how tired we were. Even on the mornings we asked, “Can’t we just do it later?” I think of all the sponsors that have supported me over the past ten years. Those companies and individuals gave me their money so I could continue to donate my lamb to the food bank. They have not only invested in 4-H as a tax deduction or helped the Utah Food Bank, but they have invested in me as a person. Many of those sponsors have supported me throughout my 4-H career. I felt a warmth fill my chest. I have done well by all of them, I have shown them that their time, money, and effort has not been misplaced. But I realize now that’s not what it’s been about at all. I feel the tears slipping over my cheeks and watch as they fall onto the green silky ribbon in my hands. They have helped me to find myself. They saw who I was even before I could. They helped me to see it through all of the little things they did for me. I look up, and saw all the kids running around, many had a green clover patch safety pinned to their white shirts. I saw families sitting in the stands, watching their loved ones as they lead their animals around the ring. My eyes fell to my parent’s faces as they watched me. I smiled at them through my tears.

Light 9

MJ Ingram “what does light mean to you?” they ask it’s not that simple light isn’t just one distinct thing light is the color yellow; it’s warm and comforting and inviting, yellow is the sunrise before a long day and yellow is the soft glow of a starlit sky light is laughing with your bestfriend about anything and everything light is music when you hear the perfect song at the perfect time and get lost in the lyrics light is tight hugs from someone you’ve missed so much light is unexpected compliments that brighten your day light is when someone truly cares about you, and you feel warm inside light is when you’re so happy you’re glowing

light is good talks with good people for hours on end light is days so wonderful you could live in them forever light is swimming in the ocean for the first time; it’s so cold,

but you don’t have a care in the world light is sunflower fields that feel like they go on forever light is photographs where even for a second everything was flawless

light is unconditional love, even when you’ve done nothing to deserve it light is finding beauty in the little things light is the smile of someone you love

when your world seems so dark, it’s almost impossible to find the light but if you open your eyes, you’ll find it’s been there all along,

you just have to believe it’s there and once you believe it, the light will be so big, so bright, you’ll forget the darkness even existed

The Pillow 11

Tzi Martinez The pillow that is covered by brown cloth The pillow that is astonishingly soft The pillow that is profoundly comfortable The pillow that makes hours feel like minutes The pillow that appears to be a necessity The pillow where dreams are born

The pillow that seems irreplaceable The pillow that molds to my head The pillow that makes sleep a perfection The pillow that is elegantly crafted

The pillow that makes bed hard to leave The pillow that makes me forget my fears The pillow that relieves anxiety The pillow where I rest my head

Tired and

Tired and Sleepless I am tired and sleepless I wonder when Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll get to bed I hear dreams replaying in my head I see the back of my eyelids; pitch black I want to be in my bed

I am tired and sleepless I pretend like Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not tired I feel my pillow soaking in all my dreams I touch my fuzzy blanket I worry that I will not be able to fall asleep I cry with little sleep I am tired and sleepless I understand I should get off my phone and get to bed I say that I need 8 hours of sleep I dream of happy things I try to fall asleep fast I hope that I will fall asleep soon I am tired and sleepless

Haylee Evans

Sleepless

Black Hole Haylee Evans Black Hole Slowly I keep climbing up Getting over you Someone says something Someone does something I hear a song I see a picture Every time I think of you Down I fall I keep falling Never hitting the ground I wish I would finally hit I wish I would hit So people could see me hurting So I could have a reason to be hurt I smile I continue to fall Scared to death

Peterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Weakness

‘Second star to the right And straight on to morning.’ I told her that so she wouldn’t Have to grow up and forget me. I was selfish because I was a young boy in love,

But I didn’t know what love was. I didn’t even believe in it at the time. We flew to Neverland And she revealed her feelings for me.

Then gave me a kiss. A kiss? A strange little cup? What would I do with a little cup? I took it, and poor Tink, jealous. I didn’t care because I needed Wendy.

Wendy, realized she didn’t need me, Then decided to leave Neverland So she could grow up, And live a normal life. Until Hook captured her, One more adventure, One more game. If I rescued her,

Tiffany Atkins Tiffany Atkins

It would be our last adventure. Fighting that codfish made me realize Just what I was about to lose. ‘Your Wendy was leaving you, You are incomplete.’ Hearing him talk about Wendy

Shutting the nursery window And not being able to hear me Call out her name was devastating. Hook found my weakness, Then grabbed Wendy and me. As we were thrown on the ground,

I looked in her blue eyes. Thinking this was the end, Thinking I would never see her again. That’s when she leaned over And gave me a thimble. Her lips brushed against mine. My face blushing, bright red,

A burst of energy came out of nowhere. I jumped up and beat Hook. What did I get from it? A final goodbye and a wave at the window, ‘I’m sorry Peter, but I must grow up.’ And a memory of a girl. I thought she loved me too. ‘Oh the cleverness of me.’

G o n e

Glassy blue eyes that puncture, Creating a hole in my heart, Haunting me forever. Haunting me forever by the memories, Of a heart so secure, Of a girl lost in love. Afraid of losing him, Because losing him Would force me to move on. Like shattere d glass on concrete, He broke my trust. Full of lies and deceit. Losing him would f orce the thought of What we could have been, If he never left. Late night talks that start Fading into goodbyes, Then fading to nothing at all. Gone. Haunted. Lost. Goodbye.

Tiffany Atkins

I saw him at his

I saw the look in your eyes

weakest moment,

when you opened

And took my place in his head.

the door

I heard his thoughts and

To the skeletons

saw he was fragile.

in his closet.

I knew it was

I heard the silent

time to make a move.

cries for help

I carried sorrow and

in the daytime,

lust and

And the loud

used it against him

weeping at night.

Because his faith

I carried his burden

was shaken.

when I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to,

I followed him

So he could be forgiven.

through

I followed him

the darkest hour,

from the very beginning,

Then faded

He was never alone.

when I won. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~

Tiffany Atkins

Perspective

The 23

Jaidyn Taylor A lion considered himself the richest beast of them all. After all, lions are the Kings of the Jungle. This lion had the biggest, thickest mane with a red the color of fresh blood. He towered over all the other lions and creatures of the land. He had the most meat, ruled the most land, and had the greatest pride. One day, the great King of Lions took a walk through his lands and happened upon a tiny creature, a turtle. But this turtle was surrounded by many other creatures, all laughing and smiling, enjoying themselves beneath the rays of the sun. The lion grew mad. The turtle appeared happy, but how could he possibly be happyâ&#x20AC;Świth nothing? The turtle owned no land, had no pride and no abundance of meat. What had he to be happy about?

Beast of

Richest “Little turtle, as your king I ask you this; how can you be so happy while you have no wealth? You are not famous, like I am. You have no land, as I do. You have nothing! ” “Little turtle, as your king I ask you this; how can you be so happy while you have no wealth? You are not famous, like I am. You have no land, as I do. You have nothing! ” What causes you to smile so?” The little turtle met the king’s gaze and said simply this. “This is true, my king. I have no wealth. I am not famous, like you are, or have land, as you do. I truly have nothing. And yet, I smile anyway. To have everything, my king, is really to have nothing at all.”

Them All

Aquarius 25

Nastasha Pearson

Aquarius I am, but what does that mean? I’m crazy, I’m fun, but not always seen. My thoughts are complex, and confused I might seem. I walk my own path, excited and free. I’m helpful, childlike, and have a bright gleam. My eyes tell a story, not many can read. I enjoy conversation in almost all things. I can talk for days and I love to sing. You may think I’m funny or quite the catch, However not if our personalities don’t match. Aquarius I am, and proud to be, I’ll love you for you if you love me for me.

Here I sit, lonely hearted, With a pug, who just farted.

Renatta Rogers

Ode to

Clovis

Shasta 29

Carson Hart

Hello, my name is Shasta, and I am a cat. Cats donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do much, but I will tell you something of what I do. I woke up this morning with a very dry mouth, and so went over to the germ infested hole I call my water bowl. Once the desert left my mouth, I went to my usual spot at the front door, and began to whine. I whined until my slaves (aka the humans) finally opened the door to me. I walked out, turned around, and whined again until they let me back in. I played this game for several minutes.

Feeling famished from my work, I decided to go hunt down my prey and murder the so called â&#x20AC;&#x153;birds.â&#x20AC;? HAHAHA! There were feathers everywhere. With a full belly and my humans officially annoyed with me, the sky has grown dark, I went back inside my palace. I took my place atop their beds stacked with the softest of blankets, pawed at the softness, and fell asleep amongst my ocean of fur. The next day, I did everything again. Cats are amazing and someway we will destroy all humans and we will rule the world.

CONTRI 31

CASSIDY RITZ (Writer) Cassidy Ritz is 21 years old. She studies teaching at Weber State University. Cassidy was raised in a small town on the values of family, hard work, 4H, and a love of the outdoors. MJ INGRAM (Writer) MJ Ingram is a student at Burke High School, in Omaha, Nebraska. At Burke, she participates in Concert Choir and Varsity Show Choir. MJ is also the Membership Coordinator of Burkeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Thespian Society. After high school, she plans to study elementary education. In her free time, she enjoys hanging out with her friends, playing with her cat, and reading poetry. She would like to thank her parents and English teacher, Ms. Kawecki, for all of their support. TZI MARTINEZ (Writer) Tzi Martinez is a student at Medicine Valley High School in Curtis, Nebraska. HAYLEE EVANS (Writer) Haylee Evans is a senior at Medicine Valley High School in Curtis, Nebraska. TIFFANY ATKINS (Writer) Tiffany was born and raised on a farm in North Carolina. She has always had a love for visual and literary art, especially poetry. Tiffany has a B.A. in liberal arts with a minor in creative writing from Southern University State. Her favorite poet is William Wordsworth. JAIDYN TAYLOR (Writer) Jaidyn Taylor is a student at the University of Nebraska - Lincoln. She is currently studying English and Agronomy. In her free time, she loves to read, write, and draw.

BUTORS 32

NATASHA PEARSON (Writer) Natasha lives in Charlotte, North Carolina. She loves to write, and always has — especially poetry and short stories. She also loves astrology and anything dealing with Zodiac signs. She herself is an Aquarius, and loves that everyone has a unique sign to match their personalities. She encourages you to look up your sign, if you don’t already know it. RENATTA ROGERS (Writer/Artist) Renatta is from Omaha, Nebraska. She is 9 years old. When asked for three interesting facts about herself, she said “I am Jewish. I love swimming, and I like animals!” CARSON HART (Artist) Carson is a junior high student attending Oak Canyon Jr. High in Lincoln, Utah. He loves sports and drawing. He also enjoys playing video games and writing. ADIA MARTI (Artist) Adia is from Oklahoma. She is 11 years old. Adia only likes to draw in Pencil. MAX MARTI (Artist) Max is from Oklahoma. He is 13 years old. Max is a long-distance runner and artist. He especially likes to pencil-shade. SAMANTHA LIMBACH (Artist) Samantha is from Chicago, Illinois. She graduated from Bryan University in 2016, with an associates degree in applied science. Samantha has always loved to read and write. CELIA WU (Artist) Celia is a student at the University of Nebraska - Lincoln. She was born in China in 1998. Celia describes herself as someone who works hard to be a nice person.