Do You Communicate with Your Horse?

by Nicole Birkholzer

Of course you do. Every time you go to see your horse, you communicate. Your body expresses your energy and your emotions. Your mind communicates whether you are present or thinking about something else. Your words also connect you with your horse, sometimes less and sometimes more. You can also communicate intuitively. You may walk into the barn and immediately sense that your horse is not well. Your hand wheel, and your breath shortens. When traffic starts moving you release your breath and get going. Trying to catch up, you zip through the neighborhoods and finally arrive at the barn with ten minutes to spare. You exit the car. Your breath is short, and your stride is fast. touches your horse’s shoulder, and she releases a big shudder. Isn’t it amazing how many communication tools you have?

In the meantime, your horse has been turned out with his friends or is relaxing in his stall.

Considering your state of being, would it surprise you if your horse stays away from you, and isn’t waiting at the gate or stall door?

The tricky thing is that being unaware of these tools or ignoring them can lead to miscommunication.

Following are some suggestions to help you consciously use your body, mind, words, and intuition to enhance your communication skills with your horse.

Body

You have a riding lesson scheduled for 6 p.m. On your drive to the barn you get stuck in road construction. You keep an eye on the clock as the minutes tick away. Your eyes are focused on the car ahead of you, waiting for it to move. Your stomach gets tight, your hands grip the steering

The same is true for those of us who have their horses at home. If I go out to see my horses during a busy day full of phone calls, answering emails, or attending to an emergency, and I don’t stop to take a few deep breaths, my horses are not excited to hang out with me. I am bringing too much mental energy into the pasture. When this happens, my horses will find better places to seek ease than by standing next to me.

When we hold tension in our body our energy feels electric to a horse.

Take a deep breath right now. Inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth. Do the same before you see your horse. A deep conscious breath makes you aware of your body. Three conscious breaths will get your nervous system out of fight-or-flight mode. As you feel into your body, you release the tension and become grounded. Your horse will feel at ease with you.

Mind

How do you consciously manage your mind once you are with your horse? First and foremost, keep your mind on task. Stop thinking of what you were doing before you entered your horse’s space. Whether it was a traffic jam or an emergency call, those events have already happened, and your mind does not need to rehash them while you are hanging out with your horse. Also, keep your mind from thinking ahead.

Be in the now. Direct your mind to attend to your horse and use your senses to connect with him. Notice when your horse blows out through his nostrils and take it as a sign to take a deep breath yourself. Follow your hand as it wants to run down your horse’s spine. What do you feel? A warm spot? Breathe into it. Observe your horse as he lowers his head, licks, and chews. Keep your mind engaged with your horse’s expressions and let your body guide your hand to offer ease and relaxation.

Words

Verbal communication is one of the most powerful ways to communicate. When you explain things verbally, you immediately create a picture in your mind’s eye of what’s to come. That image allows your horse to wrap his mind around your plan. Here is the secret to verbally communicating with your horse: Use your words wisely.

As you pick your horse’s hoof, saying “good boy” many times is meaningless. Saying “thank you” at the end of picking the hoof expresses appreciation for your partnership. And, rather than abruptly putting a halter on your horse, take a moment and ask your horse, “Please put your muzzle into the halter.” Engaging verbally in short sentences has meaning when you ask for collaboration.

Avoid using the word don’t in your sentences. It doesn’t associate with a visual. If you say, “Don’t be afraid of the mailbox,” your horse will see a visual of moving away from the mailbox. Now, add your worry about your horse spooking at the mailbox, and you've just created a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Instead, use your words to describe what you do want to accomplish. Tell your horse, “Let’s take a breath and walk right past that mailbox.” Then take a breath, soften your seat, and look ahead so your horse can follow your lead.

Intuition

Using your intuitive skills creates the deepest connection with your horse. If you recognize and acknowledge your intuition, your life will flow with ease. Imagine you are in a lesson on a horse you have ridden only a few times. Going down the long side of the arena, you sense that the horse is not feeling right. You want to say something to the instructor but feel silly doing so; then as you head into the corner, boom, the horse explodes. You find yourself on the ground.

No surprise here. You intuitively knew something was not right. But because you don’t always trust your intuition, you let your mind override that tool.

Let’s say your mare spooks for no apparent reason. Your trainer thinks it’s a “mare thing,” and the vet wants you to have bloodwork done. In the meantime, every time you step next to your horse, you feel a splitting headache radiating from your temporomandibular joint (TMJ). When you finally get the vet to look in your horse’s mouth, he discovers a molar split in half with an infection brewing. Listening to your intuition can mean advocating for your horse.

Or perhaps a few new boarders have arrived at the barn. The barn manager wants to rearrange the herd and wonders who to add to whom. Your gut tells you right away which horse would benefit from whom, and you share your idea. When you drive up to the barn the next day, all the horses have their noses in a hay pile. The barn feels quiet and at peace.

See what I mean? Following your intuition and speaking up for your horse allows you to carry more ease in yourself, and you’ll bring more ease to your horse.

A conscious breath will always be the tool to help you move from unconscious to conscious communication. Inviting

Nicole Birkholzer is a relationship coach for animals and their people. Her mentorship program, Your Animal, Your Mentor! teaches you to communicate with your animals on a deeper level to discover their innate wisdom. In her animal communication sessions, Nicole shares your animal’s thoughts, needs, and wishes. Learn more and listen to Nicole’s podcasts at mindful-connections.com.

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