Solicited Advice

From Pocket

Solicited advice is a weekly column where Massive’s own four-legged Agony Aunty, Pocket, shares her wisdom and experience with you all. She speaks only truths.

Pocket, I’m feeling stumped for Autumn fashion inspiration. Any advice on what’s hot right now?

Latching onto trends or the latest fashion is overrated and won’t serve you nearly as well as classic staples and a defined sense of personal style. Take this from someone who always wears all black! Figuring out what works for me and sticking to it has massively reduced my consumption. One closet staple for humans that I cannot recommend highly enough is cat hair to elevate any look instantly. Get some all over your clothes for a simple, timeless look. If you aren’t around Massey Wellington campus to obtain samples of my fine hair when I choose to rub myself on your leg, you can try and befriend your local mangy stray (just keep in mind the quality will be, of course, far inferior).

Do you have a question you’re dying to have answered?

Massive Magazine on Instagram or editor@massivemagazine.org.nz and look out for next week’s issue - no question is too difficult for Pocket.

Aquarius Pisces Aries

Stop. Booking. Tattoo. Appointments. You don’t have the money.

Keep. Booking. Tattoo. Appointments. Ignore that I told Aquarius to stop, you need more.

Your birthday has been and gone Aries, time to stop spending and start saving.

Everyone may love you, Taurus, but I know the truth. Stop that God complex before it gets out of hand.

Time to take that stick out of your ass and start partying, school can wait.

Stop partying until 4AM and then calling sick into work the next day. You got bills to pay!

Are you okay, Leo? Your friends are getting worried.

This week is going to be good for you, Virgo. Just go with the flow and everything will turn out fine.

Scorpio Sagittarius

Start looking for another job, Scorpio, you are over worked and underpaid, you deserve better babes.

For the love of God, stop procrastinating!!! Everything will be so much better if you do that assignment early and not the day before. There is no such thing as doing best under pressure.

Take a deep breath, ground yourself. You don’t need to be making huge life decisions on a whim. Take a moment to think about it.

Capricorn

Your friends aren’t avoiding you, they’re just busy, reach out first maybe? They still love you I promise xx