FEBRUARY 2010
What’s Inside...
WWW.CHATTANOOGASTATE.EDU
Hitting the Other Book: By Matt Nassar, Junior Staff Writer
Admit it, you’ve been there: it’s three a.m., an important class is looming in seven hours, there is still half a paper to be written, and for some reason you are click-
ing robotically through 300 pictures of a classmate you have not spoken to since junior high - and for that matter, barely spoke to while in junior high. Yes, you have found yourself on the Web site that needs no introduction, Mark Zuckerburg’s
playground for the collegiate community (and these days, for their mothers and grandmothers as well): Facebook. Ah, Facebook, the black hole of college life that relentlessly swallows study hours, high school relationships and our ever-waning
ability to communicate face to face. What happened to putting pen to paper to elegantly articulate one’s feelings towards someone one cared about? Or to the intrigue of getting to know a person’s common interests as See Facebook page 4
Verdict Still Out on Just Busted The Joy of save lives and families.” Bissonette, who is also a communication student, argues Its reputation is growthat assertion, “[Just Busted] ing exponentially and by is not designed to help peonow, Just Busted is practiple. It’s designed to embarcally a household name in rass them.” And though he Chattanooga. Go into any thinks the publication is morconvenience store and you’ll ally wrong, he went on to say find it for sale at the he believed it was a register for $1… if it good business model. hasn’t already sold Publishing mug out. Publisher Wanda shots that cost nothGilham says they run ing to obtain, Just out of papers weekly. Busted brings in Open an issue big advertisers such of Just Busted and as Cricket, Sticky you’ll find a yearbookFingers, Rock 105, esque clutter of mug various attorneys, shots; locals arrested bail bondsmen and for DUI, domestic other local busiassault, vandalism, nesses. In August, public intoxication, Just Busted began possession, t hef t distributing issues and much more. The in Memphis and in paper clearly states December, the newsthat, “All arrested are paper began making presumed innocent job postings on the until proven guilty,” online classified site but many believe the Craigslist looking for damage is already graphic artists to supdone when a mug port their expansion. Photo Courtesy of JustBusted shot is published. The grow ing Logan Blakely, a pre- tarati agrees, “It’s one of reach of Just Busted has med student at UTC says, those things where it’s fun been made possible by the “I don’t like it. I think it’s until you’re in it. The mug many who shell out the $1 tacky. I support the fact that shots may be public domain, to own a copy. Jonathan people have a right to know but I feel like it’s distasteful. Hall, a broadcast student and who has committed a crime, And in that regard, I’ll never DJ for Chattanooga State’s but I believe the publishers spend my money on one.” radio station, the WAWL, who select which pictures The purpose of the news- enjoys the publication. “It’s go in need to raise the level paper, according to Gilham interesting to look through See Busted page 2 of what warrants infamy.” is, “To help cut back on crime, By Matt Davis, Senior Staff Writer
Puppies page 4
Chocolate page 5
Basketball page 7
Led slave uprising 1831
Dr. Asa page 4
SACS
By Jessie K nowles, Editor-in-Chief
Talk to your favorite professor or instructor about the details of their job, and you might learn about one of the ‘joys’ they’ve faced recently; the joy of SACS. SACS is the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools. It provides Chattanooga State with its accreditation, meaning it makes Chattanooga State look good on your resume. The Commission on Colleges is the branch of SACS that looks specifically at higher education. Belle S. Wheelan, Ph.D., the president of the commission says, “When an institution has earned accreditation by the Commission on Colleges, it signifies that it has a purpose appropriate to higher education and has resources, programs, and services sufficient to accomplish and sustain that purpose.” How does Chattanooga State prove it deserves this high honor? It takes work to be this good! When you get your syllabus, do not just throw it away on your way out the door. Take a good look. It may look a little like a complicated math equation with numbers, letters and codes, but that is See SACS page 2
charles drew
nat turner
Pain Relief page 2
Blakely suggests that even though many mug shots are of ‘innocent’ people, the publication of their face alone may cause a rouse among their friends, employer or future employers. Evan Bissonette, a contributor for the local news Web site Chat-
Developed storage techniques for blood 1940
harriet tubman
Underground Railroad 1849
nat king cole
Hosts national TV show 1956
ralph bunche
Nobel Peace Prize 1950
martin luther king jr
“I Have a Dream” 1963
vivian malone
Steps of University of Alabama 1963
Honoring Heroes in Black History Photos Courtesy of CreativeCommons
February 2010 • Page 2
The Chattanooga State Communicator
Campus
Busted:
continued from page 1
to see if you know anybody. But also, it gives you a good idea about the good work the area law enforcement does.” Those in favor of the publication will point out that it publishes pictures and information of missing children, sex offenders and dozens of help contact numbers to deal with any emergency situation. Just Busted is also printed on recycled paper. Because of the rapid growth and popularity of Just
Busted, which only registered as a business last April according to the County Clerk office, it may soon become commonplace to see similar magazines in gas stations just as you see car classified magazines such as The Accelerator.
Buzz
Hygienists Give It a Shot
Just Busted’s official contact email JustBustedMugs.com. If you have any opinions about Just Busted, we’d like to hear them: matthew.davis@chattanoogastate.edu.
Nurses Help the Homeless
Photo Courtesy of NursingProgram
Left to right: Hennie Gunter, nursing faculty; Delethia Levi, Ted Nelson, Brother Ron Fender, Community Day Center; Jeremiah Moore and Ken Anderson.
to raise awareness of the needs of the Community Kitchen and Day Center for Chattanooga State hand- homeless clients. The students ed out hope for the holidays. collected more than 1,000 Each year the nursing stu- items to donate to this center. dents are involved with a They deserve our congratuproject that helps to fulfill lations and support as we honthe needs of the community. or the work they do every day The senior RN students’ to help spread love and caring service project this year was throughout our community. By Hennie Gunter, Contributing Writer
The Dental Hygienist Class of 2010.
Photo Courtesy of DentalHygieneProgram
SACS:
continued from page 1
because in 2008, SACS updated their requirements for accreditation and teachers have had to change their syllabi accordingly. There are things like ‘student outcomes,’ ‘instructional activities’ and other complicated terms that teachers have to link up to one another in a complex web. SACS is taking our teachers to task. Each one has to prove that what they are teaching is deemed beneficial by a board of directors and that every activity results in the desired outcome. As one teacher put it, “we have to take out all the useful stuff for you {the student} and fill it with all this educational mumbo jumbo.” Another said in jest, “We can skip over this part for now, but if you’d like to read it someday, it is wonderful.” Some teachers spare us that confusion and take time to create another syllabus altogether just for us, one that makes more sense in application. Apparently, we aren’t quite ready to experience the joy of SACS.
be able to do it themselves. “The Tennessee Dental Hygienists’ Association In 2004, the Tennessee (TDHA) has worked tireBoard of Dentistry passed lessly for dental hygienists to a law enabling Dental Hy- legally administer local angienists to administer lo- esthesia in the State of Tencal anesthesia. Chattanooga nessee. We are so proud to State’s Dental Hygiene class witness and be a part of the of 2010 will be the first to advancement of the dental graduate with this extra hygiene professions” said credential on their license! Angie Maida, RDH, M.Ed. Over the summer, 19 stuStudents in the Dental dents participated in the re- Hygiene program get cliniquired local anesthesia certi- cal practice by treating pafication course. The students tients at the on-campus denlearned about the different tal hygiene clinic located in types of injections and spent the new Health Science CenDegrees significant hours in the clin- ter. Services include x-rays, of ic practicing on each other. cleanings for children and One of the requirements of adults, periodontal debridethe clinical portion of the Na- ments, sealants, and other Have you got what it takes? tional Board exam is that the preventive services and are If you have a great patients have significant build- provided at a discounted story to tell, up; therefore the use of local rate. The small fee covers the let us hear it! anesthesia is necessary. In the cost of materials and supEmail your story to past, students have had to find plies. New patients are always somebody to administer the welcome. Call Chattanooga communicator.editor@gmail.com along with a anesthesia to their patients, State’s dental clinic for an appicture of yourself but this year the students will pointment at 423-697-4444. By Lindsey R iggle, Contributing Writer
6Joe
and we’ll put in the paper!
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The Chattanooga State Communicator
February 2010 • Page 3
Life
Student
Youth in Revolt
Full Speed Ahead
tor, a mechanic has to know expertise. Automotive technihow something works before cians keep Chattanooga going.” he knows why it doesn’t.” As a bonus for students, Although Chattanooga The students have to stay faculty, staff and governState has two fine instructors on top of new technology, ment workers, they also in the automotive tech pro- such as hand held scanners fix cars on campus. Bring gram, Roy Morris and Duane and data streams. Another your car to the automoWalker, the unfortunate fact is innovation is the Controller tive department and get it that they both will be retired Area Network, since the new- fixed up for a reduced cost. by the time this article goes est vehicles contain a system Thanks go out to Mr. to print. New candidates have of twisted wires. Now techni- Morris and Mr. Walker for already been interviewed, but cians can log into computers, working so hard to keep nothing is in place yet. Roy bring up files and discuss the ChattState’s automotive proMorris remains confident problems directly with GM gram on the cutting edge. that the program they have or other car manufacturers. We wish the best of luck Photo Courtesy of DigitalSolutions Berkeley students protest tuition hikes. established will not suffer, but Morris states, “Don’t un- to them and to the future By Dorothy Foster, because they can get triple the keep its superior quality. Even derestimate the importance instructors who will enSenior Staff Writer amount of money from out-of- when he retires, he plans to of technicians. The buses and sure that the program will state students. The students at work through the transition. cars couldn’t run without our continue full speed ahead. Youth in revolt. No, not the Berkeley, the flagship school The automotive program latest Michael Cera movie, but in the California system, are is certified by the National California students protest- fighting mad and fueled with Automotive Technicians Eduing changes to the University indignation. Many came to cation Foundation (NATEF) of California college system. a protest rally completely and is recognized throughout Since California is practically naked except for the signs the United States as a divibankrupt, the University of they were holding. In addi- sion of Automotive Service California system has had to tion to making a mock grave- Excellence (ASE), certifying cut over $600 million from its yard across the street from students as master automobudget, fire 2,000 faculty, and the president’s house, they tive technicians. To obtain increase the tuition. There are have also barricaded them- this certification, Chattatalks of raising it as much as selves in classroom buildings, nooga State students have 30 percent. If this were not brought out only by police to pass competencies in the bad enough, the governing tasers and clubs. Whether areas of engine repair, autoboard is going to limit the their protests will have any motive transmissions/transamount of in-state students effect remains to be seen. axles, manual transmissions and drivelines, steering and suspension, brakes, heating and air conditioning • “I certainly wouldn’t go the naked route, but and engine performance. I’d try to see how we could get money back Mr. Morris says, “Each subject has a science to it. If to the schools.” you teach that science, the -Del Brown students can apply it to any • “I’d just find a different school.” type of car and work almost Photo by IsaacCraft/Communicator anywhere. Diagnostics is the Automotive instructor Roy Morris oversees students Brian Marsh, Henry -Janet Price basis of repair. Just as a doc- Lorenzo and Domiciano Melendez. By Dorothy Foster, Senior Staff Writer
What Would You Do to Protest?
• “I’d stay at home.”
Let’s Get Physical
-Dortha Hodge • “I’d write to my congressman and the Board of Regents.” -Brenda Talley • “I’m low on gas as it is. I wouldn’t have the money to come protest.” -Daniel Dunn • “I’d act up at the president’s house.” -Drew Dobbs • “I’d make a list of names and complain.” -Charles Cravey • “I’d just drop out and get a job.” -Melissa Earls
more and more in demand. The Physical therapy assistant (PTA) program at With the many economi- Chattanooga State first recal troubles haunting aver- ceived accreditation in 1979 age Americans today, it can from the Commission on be very difficult to choose a Accreditation in Physical career, one with longevity Therapy Education (CAPTE). and the assurance of a good Since then, it has blossomed salary. It is a decision that into a successful program, hangs over many students turning out graduates who who are unsure of what to are thoroughly prepared to do with their lives. However, take the physical therapist it does not have to be a bur- assistant licensing exam. For den. Many are turning to the the years 2006, 2007 and ever-growing field of health 2008, all of the students who care. Physical therapy is a graduated from the program profession that is becoming passed their licensing exams. The program consists of a 65-hour curriculum spanning two years, though students are strongly encouraged to take several of the initial courses prior to applying for the program. Science courses that would be helpful before starting the program include human anatomy & physiology and concepts of physics. The local salary of a PTA ranges from $17-to-24 per hour, and the majority of applicants find jobs within six By A mber Lewis, Assistant Editor
months of graduation. The duties of a PTA vary and can include such responsibilities as treating burns, wounds, athletic development, muscle weakness and children with developmental disabilities. There are several things a student can do to get started in this program. If you are interested, talk to your advisor about the necessary prerequisites. Attend the upcoming physical therapy information session on Wednesday, February 10, 2010 at 3:00 p.m. in room 2029 of the Health Science Center. While the physical therapist assistant program is an excellent choice, do not get discouraged if this field does not seem like the right one for you. There are a variety of career training options available at Chattanooga State, both technical and professional. All it takes is some exploration of the programs. Do your research to make sure you choose the job that is right for you.
eta K appa Hosts Interfaith Seminar h T i h P Phi Theta Kappa is hosting an interfaith seminar focused on the relationship between Christianity and Hinduism in an effort to promote discussions on religion and pluralism. PTK’s mission is to help students understand religious diversity through research, outreach and the active dissemination of information. The keynote speakers are Dr. Michael Krogman and Dr. Sarla Murgai. Thursday, February 18 from 11 a.m. to 12:15 p.m. in the Humanities Theater. WWW.CHATTANOOGASTATE.EDU
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February 2010 • Page 4
The Chattanooga State Communicator
Lifestyle
Simple Steps to Success
Puppy Love
By Alvin Poe, Junior Staff Writer
By A mber Lewis, Assistant Editor
Every Student is capable of succeeding at Chattanooga State. It takes time and effort to make your life work, and academics are no exception. Each student is the quarterback of his own team here at Chattanooga State and with these few study habits one is sure to do well. Sarah McDowell works in the main campus College Reading and Writing Center on the second floor of the IMC Building. Peter Y. Peter works in the adjacent Math Center. They have shared some hints on how to succeed no matter what subject you are taking. These study habits are helpful ways to do well. They may seem like common sense but you would be surprised how many students do not follow them. Do not be one of those students.
This Valentine’s Day, remember that love comes in many forms. There are plenty of dogs that need the love of a devoted owner, and they can bring joy and unconditional love to a lucky person right now! There are hundreds of thousands of homeless pets in the United States, which is why it is better to adopt than buy a dog at a pet store and be a source of demand for puppy mills and dog breeders. Show your love and go to your local Animal Shelter and take home a loving family member today. Here are some adorable cuties from the Humane Educational Society
• • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Never miss class. Never be late to class. Be prepared. Have your book, calculator, pencil and paper. Establish a good rapport with instructors. Know where your teacher’s office is and visit. Pay attention in class and take detailed notes. Read the entire syllabus at the beginning of the semester. Make sure you understand the instructors’ grading system. Buy books in a timely manner. Read them. Do not procrastinate. Start the final project early in the semester. Study outside of class for at least one hour per class period. Ask questions if you do not understand. Be patient with yourself; you are learning. GO TO THE COLLEGE READING AND WRITING CENTER 7:30 a.m.–8:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday, 7:30 a.m. –4:30 p.m. Friday, 9:00 a.m. –2:00 p.m. Saturday (fall and spring semesters)
Dash
LadyBug
212 N. Highland Park Ave, Chattanooga 37404 423-624-5302
Colt
Malibu
Go to petfinder.com
Suess Dove Amy
Pearls of Wisdom From Margie Marge Those that talk behind your back are the ones you owe the most to. They only make others take notice of you. Your talent will speak for itself. In other words, haters can’t keep what’s for you – from you.
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part of a gradual process, not by way of a data dump? Or to the concept of delivering a personal invitation by word of mouth or script, rather than a mail-merge? It would appear that such niceties have been relinquished along with other staples of old-world charm. The Facebook Revolution signals a whole new era of meaningless interaction. Facebook defines itself as ‘a social utility that connects you with the people around you’. Far from serving as an umbilical cord of friendship for the socially deprived, Facebook actively damages interpersonal relationships, harms job prospects, wastes time, and ultimately turns die-hard users into total recluses. It leads your girlfriend to ask questions about your photos, your friends to ask questions about your girlfriend, and her friends to ask her questions about your friends. You don’t need this headache. Nobody does. Yet voyeurism and wanton exhibitionism keeps us hooked, and so we log on, hungry for more low-grade banter and drunken photo antics. In the old days, I have to imagine that stalking involved a pretty high level of commitment: peering in windows, camping outside of houses, calling phone numbers and hanging up upon receiving an answer. But these days, it is possible to glean the cinematic preferences, hometown, phone number, photographs, and - if they are “status happy” - the location of a crush in mere minutes if you are brave enough to
“friend” them or lucky enough to be in the same network. Not that I know how any of this works. Either way, Facebook addictions are running rampant through universities all over our nation. It could be worse; at least there are enough of us that we could easily carpool to therapy. Could someone assume a leadership role and set up a new group for this? We are going to need a means of facilitating drivers. Those of us who are perpetually on the edge of new sometimes either want to ditch it when the vox populi show up in droves, or because it’s no longer the shiny new thing it once was. We thrive on beta. Facebook is a goldmine of tosh – a monument to mediocrity. Once the preserve of institutions of higher learning, Facebook now caters to the untutored masses – anyone with time on their hands and a keyboard beneath them. I’ll be giving up Facebook for Lent. For forty days and nights, I will not be updating my status, becoming a fan, poking anyone or commenting on 25 Random Things. My decision has absolutely nothing to do with any religious fervor, other than being fervently grateful to the Episcopalian calendar for serving up a handy excuse to log off. And yet my addiction is on the mild side, more like a low-grade fever than a full-on infectious case of Facebookitis. I may have sampled the Social Media Koolaid, but I’m not chugging the stuff like many of the ‘tweeple’ I know. For 13 Signs that You are Addicted to Facebook log on to CommunicatorOnline.net
WWW.CHATTANOOGASTATE.EDU
Patriot
LadyBug Charlie
Amos Zoi
Simon Photos Courtesy of HumaneSociety
There are a lot of dogs that need love at the Humane Society. Here are just of few that are ready to become a part of your family today.
Fashion Forward Accentuate Your Accessories
By Jessie K nowles, Editor-in-Chief
Amber Lewis, voted most fashionable Communicator staff member, knows a thing or two about what it takes to make an outfit work! Her accessories - the gray knit hat, chunky necklace, gold hoop earrings and stylish metal rim eyeglasses - perfectly compliment each other without being distracting. They make her look sophisticated but fun! Accessories can make or break your look. Don’t go overboard. Choose a few simple pieces that go well together, and you’ll be stylin’ and profilin’ just like Amber.
Photo by Jessie Knowles/Communicator
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The Chattanooga State Communicator
Entertainment
February 2010 • Page 5
Reviews
Chocolate Art for Your Sweetheart By Jessie K nowles, Editor-in-Chief
The Hot Chocolatier, a Chattanooga business owned by ChattState alum Wendy Buckner, celebrated its one-year anniversary on December 18, 2009. They are in full swing just in time for Valentine’s Day, ready to offer the hippest, hottest and most artistic chocolates that you can find. “I never really knew what I wanted to do, but I knew I wanted it to be art-related,” says Buckner, who majored in “undecided” at ChattState. She studied with teachers like Michael Holsemback, Kim Page and Denise Frank, focusing on painting and drawing during her time at the college. Holsemback, Buckner says, really allowed her to explore her artistic interests, which led her to encaustic painting – painting with beeswax. After graduating from Chattstate, Buckner married and travelled to Iowa City where her husband, Brandon, was attending graduate school for painting. Feeling
the need to be the breadwinner for the family at the time, Buckner took a job at the university hospital, but soon realized her heart lay elsewhere. Buckner had always loved to bake and found herself “experimenting at home, making chocolates,” she says. Eventually, she began selling chocolates to her coworkers at the hospital. “I was so concerned with having a career that I thought I should apply to medical school,” Buckner says, but after a disappointment over not being accepted due to lack of experience, she decided to go to school for what she loved and attended The French Pastry School in Chicago. After graduating, Buckner worked in a small chocolate shop in Asheville, North Carolina before her husband got a job teaching at UTC, bringing her back to Chattanooga. With the help of CreateHere and the Chattanooga Opportunity Fund, she was able to rent a space in the Small Business Center on the corner of Cherokee Boulevard and Manufacturer’s Road.
I LOVE...
Throes
I love... snow when it’s falling, apples that are green, jazz in the evening, fresh clothes that smell clean, rain in the summertime, stars shining bright, Mars, Saturn and Jupiter seen on a clear dark night. Breakfast in the evening, ice cream when it’s cold, fireplaces and picnics, and even growing old. Lazy, crazy people, lying in the sun, smelling babies bellies, laughing when it’s fun. Listening to silence, speaking to God when afraid, procrastination when I wake up, before the bed’s been made. The smell of charcoal burning, hosting family and friends, just hanging out with nature and sailing the Caribbean. Colorado and its mountains, playing the piano when I’m sad, rolling my eyes at you, whenever I get mad. Firecrakers and incense, Hawaiian sand between my toes, crying when its over...... and you, I suppose.
Blue lips in the midnight Blood red in the morn’ Now I’m not alone inside her Or under burden borne
By Ryan Tyler
By Margie Penn
She spares the sheets a strangle And I, the hips, release She’s warm inside my arms And has yet to set me free A rush of blood to sink me A plea of sheathing skin All gentle invitation To lure me further in A shadow of a different pain Than I will ever know Abets a smile hidden In her sigh and skinny rose Rub wet hair from her forehead Unlock me from her feet Convince her eyes to open And lip from ‘twixt her teeth
Photo by Jessie Knowles/Communicator
Wendy Buckner shows off her chocolate art.
A book that propped the bed up She now pretends to read We glisten at the fall of dawn No hunger left to feed I check my scars for body And she will do the same While one will dream of last night’s kiss And one, tomorrow’s name
Mal-entine By Ryan Tyler
Three Words, Eight Letters
Roses are dead And violets are, too Cut down in their prime for you
You don’t deserve A teddy bear When I tell you that I love you, I You’ve earned a Grizzly, fair don’t want to say it out of habit. and square And this, they will remember I don’t want to tell you because To soften autumn nights I would not pray you said it first The eyes of earth offensive Or to make the conversation go For Cupid’s dart This intimate polite To pierce you near but through better than it is. the heart When I tell you I love you, it’ll Hearts will holiday to dream be for real. Recall a slender breath My only wish I’ll say it to remind you But the heir of such a moment that you are the best thing This special day Won’t soon let them forget Is I hope your cat pees on your that has happened to me. computer and it dies I don’t see that changing Life begins at perception anytime soon. By Colleen Casey
Dr. Asa Visits Chattanooga State
As I slip her velvet clutches, My home in heaven’s throes, Those mortal missing pieces Will fire pain to prose
ing In March m o C
To T he
Buckner says that these organizations made it really easy for her to start the Hotchocolatier business, even in the face of a recession. In fact, the day she signed the lease was the day the recession was officially announced! During the Great Depression in the 1930’s, chocolate was rationed. People would line up to get their chocolate. Buckner says, “There was always a chocolate shop on the corner. Chocolate always did well.” More than a year later, the Hot Chocolatier is still running and has the best-tasting, most unique chocolate in town. The experience that Buckner had with encaustic painting at Chattanooga State helped her to make chocolate sculptures that boggle the mind. “Chocolate has a similar consistency to beeswax so it was an easy transition,” she says. For Valentine’s Day or anytime, the sweets offered by the Hot Chocolatier make an exciting alternative to a plain old box of chocolates. For the art lover in your life, go the www.hotchocolat ier.com
On Tuesday, February 9, 2010, Dr. Asa will be coming to Chattanooga. Dr. Asa is the host of the nationally syndicated radio talk show Dr. Asa ON CALL and author of the book Empowering Your Health. He will be signing copies of his book at Nutrition World from 1-4 p.m. at 6201 Lee Highway and will be on the ChattState campus from 6-7:30 p.m. Tickets are required for admission, and will be reserved on a first-come first-serve basis due to limited seating. To find out more about these events and Dr. Asa himself, logon to CommunicatorOnline.net. Official PressPhoto
e h eatr Humanities T
HUMANITIES THEATER FEBRUARY EVENTS Friday Night Improv with “Ba-Dum-Cha” Every Friday in February at 7:30 p.m. (February 5, 12, 19, 26) Based on audience suggestions Performed by the second-year students of the Professional Actor Training Program Admission is Free WWW.CHATTANOOGASTATE.EDU
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February 2010 • Page 6
The Chattanooga State Communicator
Editorials We Distort You Deride (Fox News & Their Lies) By Matt Nassar, Junior Staffe Writer
No doubt you’re reading this article begrudgingly, thinking, “what a revolutionary and original idea,” with sarcasm dripping down the side of your mouth. This time, however, it’s even worse. On Tuesday, November 10, 2009, Jon Stewart of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show lambasted Fox News’ Sean Hannity for trying to make the GOP anti-health care reform protest appear more heavily attended than it was by recycling old footage of a larger rally, claiming it as footage of the most recent GOP protest. This type of deceit has become par for the course for America’s mostwatched cable news service. Stewart called to attention how Fox News’ anchors claimed all day that between 30,000 and 40,000 people attended the rally, while The Washington Post reported the turnout as no more than 5,000 to 10,000. He aired footage from Hannity’s show, pointing out how a clip of a few protesters approaching the rally on a sunny day with no leaves on the trees was immediately followed by a wider angle of a huge rally under cloudy skies, surrounded by bushy green trees. The footage was ran side by side with film from Glenn Beck’s rally in September, the one Hannity used to misrepresent the GOP protest. It was identical. The next day, Hannity acknowledged the incident. He claimed the swap of footage was “inadvertent.” Come on. This is just another in a sad
history of dishonest, deceptive and deceitful “inadvertent” mistakes. I’ll be the first to admit, there are enough lies heaped upon the American people in the pursuit of political agendas to topple the Watergate Hotel itself. We all cope with them in our own way: some ignore or accept, and others are skeptical. Problem is, people keep watching. I’m not writing this to point out the evils of conservatives and convince you all to come to the liberal’s side of the health care debate. If the thought of a public option makes you want to spit coffee out of your “Ronald Reagan for President” mug every morning, fine. But I thought you Republicans were the ones who said, “If someone hits you, hit back.” Well, Fox News is hitting you, logicalminded, well-spoken conservative. They’re beating you up like the kid in middle school who wore Coke bottle glasses and was picked last in dodgeball, making the conservative ideals you stand for look ridiculous. Isn’t it about time you showed us what you’re really made of? Stop watching their spin and they’ll stop spinning. After all, they wouldn’t do it if it didn’t get them viewers. So all of you Republicans reading this: Stop walking so damn softly. Let’s see that big stick you’re always bragging about. Maybe the landslide victory in the 2010 elections you wish for every time you throw a penny into a fountain — if you’ve any left after all those taxes us mean old Democrats made you pay — will come true and Congress can finally get something done. Thanks.
Opinions
The Valentine’s Day Conspiracy By Lee Lunsford, Senior Staff Writer
February 14 is a day surrounded by love, romance, cheesy cards, giant puppy dog stuffed animals, chocolates and romantic comedies. But what about people who are not in a relationship? February 14 is just another day, like Christmas for the non-Christians, just another day with the same boring everyday activities. It is sickening how everybody can put on the loveydovey façade. I mean what is so special about February 14? It is another over publicized holiday. Doesn’t anyone find it odd that Valentine’s Day cards were available right after Christmas? We still have one month until the stupid holiday so why push the idea so early? I just bought my girlfriend some jewelry for Christmas so why do I need to focus on buying something else a month from now? A three-week minimum grace period would be nice. Let the credit limit on my Visa card increase a little bit before I go out and buy a fourfoot-tall stuffed puppy with I “heart” you on the front. There needs to be a proper balancing act between the holidays. In today’s world, we go from the Fourth of July
to Christmas, skip all the way over the Michael Myers Halloween marathon on AMC and rush straight into the Tim Allen Santa Clause marathon on ABC Family. I have a conspiracy theory for you. The meteorologists are in cahoots with grocery store chains. When that four-letter-word (snow) is mentioned, Lord help you - go to Food Lion, and when you get there, I hope you don’t need milk and bread because it’s all gone! What’s the deal with milk and bread anyway? Shouldn’t it be milk, sandwich meat, and bread? Honestly, what are we eating a bowl of milk, dipping our bread in it like a chip? It is crazy the way the world is run, simply because it is the way everybody thinks. Everybody thinks of the future. Today, as I write this on January 15, 2010, even though I am happy with my girlfriend, there is no guarantee she will even be talking to me February 14, so I am not going out tomorrow to buy a Valentine’s Day card. Does that make me a bad boyfriend? I honestly don’t think so. I believe it makes me cautious. Just like the people who swarm the grocery store to buy milk and bread.
Hold onto your highlyregimented gender role; that fuzzily sexist, heart-shaped holiday has arrived! Here’s a man’s how-to guide for Valentine’s Day. If you’re of the female variety, then this column is undoubtedly not for you. On Valentine’s Day, every encounter with a woman is booby-trapped. (And not in a good sense.) Since gals blame men at large for their suffering you can be certain that your girlfriend or current hook-up buddy (which invariably constructs the acronym CHUB) will closely survey everything you do. Tread carefully or you’ll find yourself asking God for your damned rib back. Valentine’s Day is all about manufactured, scheduled, universal romance, which means actually making it romantic is rather difficult. The artificial nature of the holiday, however, is utterly trumped by its ubiquity and women the world over have become accustomed to certain treatment on Valentine’s Day. As a result, you must begrudgingly buy them candy and/or flowers
or face serious consequences. You know, it doesn’t really matter where this custom originated, although speculation is rampant that the greedy executives inside the hallowed halls of Big Chocolate conspired with the cunning charlatans of Big Flowers to lobby Congress to make laws that would require every adult male to purchase chocolate and flowers for their significant others on February 14. The legislation didn’t make it past the Supreme Court, but women caught wind of the effort and decided that it didn’t matter whether there were laws in place; they liked their chocolate and flowers. To the delight of the chocolate and flower cartels, men today dutifully purchase such gifts under the watchful eye of these needy creatures. There is nothing women don’t make unnecessarily complicated, including gifts. They love that you bought them chocolate. They love eating chocolate. They hate themselves for loving to eat chocolate so much. A woman has more nuanced feelings toward a Cadbury bar than you have toward your own mother. Don’t let your undy-
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Men Using Calculated Advances By Matt Nassar, Junior Staff Writer
Published by the students of Chattanooga State
ing devotion to appeasing her scam you into buying expensive jewelry. You probably wouldn’t pick out the right thing, and she’s planning on dumping you soon anyways. And you’ll look like a fool walking around campus with flowers. I personally like to give goldfish. It’s a little something different that says, “I’m ready to take our relationship to the level where we share a pet, but not to the level where I trust you with anything I care about.” What’s more is that the guilt trip potential is enormous once the goldfish inevitably dies. If you haven’t already made dining arrangements, then you’re screwed. (And not in a good sense.) If you have, remember that it’s your job to eat a considerable amount more than her at dinner. Girls don’t like it when their appetites are bigger than guys. Oddly enough, they also don’t like it when you tell them they should go on a diet — even if it’s true. During dinner, you may be asked to express — in full sentences — what it is you’re thinking. This is a daunting task for most men, as we must frantically empty our
heads of the few thoughts we do have and fill them with non-sexualized meanderings before we can respond. (I recommend practicing a few days ahead of time.) The exception is if your woman talks about her own problems: say absolutely nothing, indicate that you sympathize, memorize a handful of important and trivial details in case she tests how well you listened later, and encourage her to tell you more while you zone out. After chowing down, watching a romantic movie is an appropriate excuse to turn off the lights and endure two more hours of this disparaging holiday. All chick flicks must have four things: an impending wedding, mediocre humor, a Stepford hunk, and a right-in-front-of-hernose-the-whole-time moment. The Notebook, Titanic, You’ve Got Mail or Sixteen Candles are all sure bets to satisfy her whimsical desires. You can attempt going over the top, but let’s face it guys: we’re not good at exceeding bare minimum efforts. And remember, a woman may swoon over romantic gestures in the movies, but without a soundtrack, professional
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writers and Hollywood looks, you’ll probably just come off looking creepy or dangerous. The statuesque nice-guy image does not win out here. Your only hope is to lower her expectations. Don’t try pulling out all of your romantic antics and quips all at once. The reason why taking things slow works so well with women is that it gives them time to realize how inept you really are and to adjust their expectations accordingly. Be advised, women often say or do the opposite of what they mean. This is probably a systemic guerrilla tactic used to disrupt the normal operation of patriarchal society. But if you follow my advice tomorrow you just might be lucky enough to wake up with a woman that fell prey to your calculated advances and shallow entreaties. Good luck, gentlemen.
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February 2010 • Page 7
Sports “WHO AM I?” Contest
Tigers Fight to Up the Grade
By Margie Penn, Senior Staff Writer In honor of Black History Month, see if you can match the names with the correct response. 1.
Ernie Davis (1939-63)
2.
Eldridge Tont Woods (1975-)
3.
Althea Gibson (1927-2003)
4.
Francois Pienaar (1967-)
5.
Pele (1940-)
6. Joseph J. Jackson (1887-1951) 7. Rubin “Hurricane” Carter (1937-) Answers a. A prize-fighter from New Jersey. b. A world-renowned athlete born in Vereeniging, South Africa. c. The first African-American to
win the Heisman Trophy, born in New Salem, Pennsylvania. d. d. A baseball player born in Brandon Mills, South Carolina whose nickname was “Shoeless Joe.” e. A tennis player born in Silver City, South Carolina. f. The first African-American to win major titles for the sport of golf, now shrouded in controversy. g. A football player, widely held to be the best player in the game’s history.
The first three emails with the correct answers will be selected as the winners. Winners will be contacted by email. Communicator staff and family members are not permitted to enter. 1st prize $15; 2nd prize $10; 3rd Prize $5 Paid on Feb. 1 in Student Center S-216 Identification required. Contact communicatoraad@gmail.com
Lady Tigers #23 Beneidra Colbert throwing ‘bows’ against a Roane State player.
doesn’t reflect what can’t be put on paper; that these ladies have hustled and worked The fall semester grades to beat the odds they face have all been handed out on the basketball court. and a new semester has ar- One of those obstacles is berived; and so too has the bas- ing an undersized team. ketball season been graded. Overall, the first half The Lady Tigers played of their season merits a B against our rivals, the Cleve- grade; let’s see what the secland State Cougars, in the ond half of the season has last game of the semester in store for these ladies. and came out with a narrow The men’s team is harder 78-74 win against our neigh- to grade overall. First, you bors to the north, ending the have to take into considerfirst half of the season with ation that the team is ranked a five-win, two-loss record. number 17 in the entire naThe first game back from tion. The first game of the winter break was against the season was against the Roane Raiderettes of Roane State State Raiders. Alex Dean Community College. Though threw down a thunderous the Lady Tigers lost a closely dunk as time ran out, putcontested game it may be fair ting emphasis on an otherto say that it’s time to shake off wise lackluster win at home. some of the winter cobwebs. Bundle that with a couThe Lady Tigers have ple of early season losses some players now eligible to and it is a recipe for disapget on the court after having pointment. At least that is lost Chasity Welch late in the the sentiment of a couple of first semester to a knee in- players on the team. Ask anyjury. They look to work hard one of the fans or coaches and play harder. Hopefully, and they would say that the they’ll gain momentum go- losses are bad, but not someing into the Regional Tour- thing that can’t be overcome nament later in the semester. with hard work and practice. Their overall record of One of the things that the five wins and three losses men’s team found out was By Abel Isidro, Sports Editor
Photo by Abel Isidro/Communicator
that they have a big target on their backs for their number 17 ranking at the beginning of the season. As most teams that came to play our Tigers showed on the court, they are poised and ready to take down the giant of their division. One team had the fortune of following through with those plans, while the rest found out it is easier said than done. The Tigers learned that they have to keep the pressure on. They are not simply going to win every game just because they were recognized at a national level. Instead, they must revisit the fundamentals and build that confidence every second of every game. With this they will be able to showcase their abilities as stellar athletes. For this report I too share the sentiment of some of the players on the team and would give them a grade of B- overall. The eight wins against two losses are good for any team but not for this particular team. Finishing with a strong record and some swagger going into the Regional Tournament is a certain recipe for success.
B.J. Frazier goes in for the jump shot.
Photo by Abel Isidro/Communicator
Intramural Spring Outlook Team Sports Basketball Season: January 25 - February 24 Bowling season: February 10 - April 14 Register by February 2 Ultimate Frisbee season: February 18 - March 25 Register by February 9 • Captains meeting February 17 Indoor Soccer season: March 1 - April 14 Register by February 16 • Captains meeting February 17 Flag Football season: March 2 - April 20 Register by February 16 • Captains meeting February 17
Tournaments Racquetball: Ladder runs from February 1 - April 16 Kickball: Play February 1 - February 3 Ping Pong: Play March 1 - March 4 Register by February 23 Spades: Show up and play February 10 March Madness: Using either Facebook or hard paper; host a NCAA Pick’em Bracket
Outdoor Recreation Frisbee Golf: March 20 Rock Climbing Trip: February 11 and February 25 (UTC and Urban Rocks) River Park Bike Ride: March 27 and April 10 Paintball: April 1 Register by March 23 Hiking/Mtn Biking/Canoeing: April 3 Register by March 24
Alex Dean #23 with a hanging dunk.
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Photo by Abel Isidro/Communicator
White Water Rafting: April 17 Register by April 9 WWW.COMMUNICTORONLINE.NET
February 2010 • Page 8
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