A U T H O R I T Y
THE
PSYCHO EATING
TODD GASTER
5 STEPS
STOP A BULLY
C UR SE OF
TO BULLY PROOF YOUR CHILD
<<
INNER ESTEEM C O AC H
IN THEIR TRACKS
empower YOUR kids, TEACH THEM TO THRIVE
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hank you for picking up this issue of Authority Expert Magazine. We publish this magazine quarterly to showcase thought leaders with world-improving messages. As this magazine evolves, we will be including your feedback and letters as well. Let us know what you think by messaging us at info@authoritymarketingfilms.com. Authority Marketing Films is an experiential media production agency. With in-house production which includes pro video production, an e-magazine, social media syndication, blogging, podcasting, books, national and international press coverage. All of the media we create is directed at bringing our clients more exposure, increased number of sales, increased
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transaction amount and lead strategies to capture even more potential clients. Our philosophy is that branding is the task of clearly and elegantly communicating who you and your company are, what you are all about and transfer that value and quality to your ideal clients. Many agencies create a fancy facade, template ‘rockstar’ personality or create something specifically focused on building the agency portfolio or focus on accumulating awards. This is not about us. This is not about you, it is all about YOUR clients.
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BY TODD GASTER
STEPS TO BULLY PROOF 5
YOUR CHILD
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The second step is how does your child choose to esteem themselves? Now, esteem is different than confidence. A lot of times we hear people that say, you know what? Let’s build up our child’s selfesteem by taking them to a martial arts class, something they can be good at. That will give them confidence. That’s not esteem. Choosing to esteem yourself, understanding your worth, your value, just simply for being you is the second step.
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The third step to bully proofing your child is complete ownership of your four core powers, the thinking, feeling, saying, and doing. What is it that you say? What is it that you do? What is it that you think? What is it that you feel? These are all ownership of your four core powers, and it allows you to become response able, that is able to respond to the environment or the situation around you.
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The fourth step is setting a bully proof state. Think of it as a bubble, if you will, surrounding yourself in this bully proof state, allowing you to, no matter, whatever comes in, it doesn’t come into your bubble. You have your boundaries. It doesn’t come in to touch you.
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And then the fifth step is the empowering emotions, understanding the difference between a child who’s bullied and a child who’s not bullied. More often than not, the child who is bullied is in a disempowering state or a disempowering emotion, one of depression, sadness, frustration, and the child who is in an empowering emotion of confidence, happy, joy, what is the difference between the two? So understanding the fifth empowering emotion.
So again, these five steps. Number one, the beliefs, what are the beliefs that you have about bullying? What are the beliefs that your child has about bullying? The second, understanding the self-esteem, how your child chooses to esteem themselves. Third, ownership of their four core powers. Fourth, creating that bully proof state, that bubble that doesn’t allow anything in. And then the fifth, choosing the empowering emotions for you and your child. When you have these five steps, you truly are on your way to a bully proof child. For more information, please visit ToddGaster.com AUTHORITYMARKETINGFILMS.COM
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For more information, please visit ToddGaster.com
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The first step is understanding the beliefs that you have and your child has about bullying. The beliefs are vastly different nine times out of ten. The beliefs that your child has about bullying is completely different than the beliefs you have about bullying, and understanding those beliefs and how to communicate with your child about those beliefs is the first step.
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THE CURSE OF
PSYCHO EATING
BY TODD GASTER
W
hat do I mean ‘psycho eating’? Well, let me give you an example from my own life.
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There was a time that I was 320 pounds. Not only that, every Monday night was ten cent wing night. Me and a bunch of my friends would go out and see who could eat the most wings. It was only ten cents a wing. And so I wasn’t eating for nutrition or to nurture my body. I was eating to win. It created an addiction. It created euphoria. It was something I could get connection with, and it became psycho eating. Now, this is just one example. Maybe it’s an example of going out drinking. Maybe it’s an example of going to parties. Maybe it’s an example of, hey, you know what? I’ve worked out six days this week. I deserve to have this cake. What is it that you do that you know is not what you’re supposed to be doing? You know it’s not going to give you what it is that you want, but yet you psycho eat.
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So the curse of psycho eating, again, how do you break this curse? Well, the first step, again, is to understand your value, understand your worth. When you understand what it is that you are worth, when you understand that you don’t need to get your worth or your value from someone else, from someone outside of yourself, you set up boundaries for what it is that you will and you will not allow in your life. When I broke the curse of psycho eating, I went from 320 pounds to 175. My mother, for example, she attributed love to food, and how much that she would give out, and so there was always snacks and cakes and, you know, additional food. And I remember one of the big issues that I got into a discussion with my mother about is one time, my son, when he was really young, got himself into trouble, and we sent him to bed early. Well, he didn’t get to have a snack that night, and my mother lost it. She couldn’t believe that we would do such a thing, send my child to bed without a snack that night, because, again, in her mind, it was love. We were withholding love from our child because we didn’t give him his snack before bed. So what is it that you’re doing? What meanings do you have that you’re giving your children about food? Is love food? Is food love? What is it, the meaning that you are taking, and what are your children learning from this? For more information, please visit ToddGaster.com
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ARE YOU A
VICTIM A TARGET OR
BY TODD GASTER
hat if the beginning of bully proofing a child was simply referring from victim to target? Changing that terminology from victim to target? Have you ever met a person who was referred to as a victim who was empowered? If we change that term from victim to target, we are now more empowering. A target can move. It can be missed. So when they’re a target of the bullying, they are now putting themselves in control. They are now putting themselves to be able to be response able, or responsible, for how they view that. When a bully is directing their bully actions towards your child, they can simply miss. They can simply not land. They can simply move on. When a child views themself as a target, it allows them to be in control. Being a target is much more empowering than being a victim.
IT’S NOT THE SCHOOLS JOB TO STOP THE BULLY
US PARENTS
Teachers have so much on their plate that they can’t handle all of the bullying that goes on. It’s not their job. We need to be proactive as parents to put into our children the inner esteem, the true value, the true worth that they have, to really bully proof our kids so that when they go to school they’re there to learn. They’re there to be with friends. They’re there to learn how to live life.
For more information, please visit ToddGaster.com
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IT’S
Sadly, according to the National Association of School Psychologists, only one in four teachers believe bullying is even a problem, and only 4% will ever intervene in a situation of bullying. What if your child is one of their students? It’s not the teacher’s job. It’s not the school’s job to prevent bullying. It’s us as parents. We need to create a generation of bully-proof kids, and when we can do that, then we can have our children become the true leaders for change in this world.
160,000 kids
WILL MISS SCHOOL
TOMORROW
BECAUSE THEY ARE BULLIED
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STOP A BULLY
IN THEIR TRACKS BY TODD GASTER
S
o how do you stop a bully in its tracks? Well, it starts with how you think about the bully and the bully’s actions. When the bully directs their actions towards you, what happens if they miss? What happens if they don’t land?
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How you stop a bully in its tracks is simply understand what drives a bully to do what it is that they do. Why are they doing things? They’re looking for a reaction. Well, if their actions don’t land, there is no reaction, so it stops the bully. When you look at how you are responsible, or able to respond to your environment, able to respond the things about you, understanding the thinking, feeling, saying, and doing, that you are in ownership of those, it stops the bully. It now becomes your choice. Do you want to respond to the bully? Do you not want to respond to the bully? Is there something that you want to say? Is there something you want to do? Doing could be simply walking away. How do you stop a bully in their tracks? Understand that the actions the bully takes do not affect you. It is your choice. For more information, please visit ToddGaster.com
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You’re all too familiar with how deeply this is affecting your child. You need to know that you’re not alone. I talk with parents and guardians of great kids who are going through a lot of this unnecessarily. As parents, we were never taught how to help our kids through these tough situations, so we wipe the tears, give them a hug, meet with teachers, and try to figure out how to truly help our kids. But, to really help our kids, we need to be proactive and equip them to face these daily challenges with a deep confidence and a solid self-esteem. I’ve created a free online training that confronts these problems and gives you simple solutions that you and your child can work through to raise their inner esteem. This training is to empower you to teach them how they can thrive from within and protect them against potentially abusive relationships, socially created personality problems, and discern and avoid poisonous people. Raising your child’s selfesteem will also allow them to reach their highest and best potentials, become completely bully proof, access their inner genius, do well in school, attract friends to them, healthfully keep off or shed unwanted pounds, and live a truly passion filled, incredible life.
interview
TODD GASTER I N N E R
E S T E E M
C O A C H
BULLY-PROOFING AMERICA one C HILD AT A TIME
M T
M
Have you ever been bullied? I can tell you the exact time, the exact place I was, what exactly was said and the bullies name at that time. Not only did it affect the life I had that time but it also affected several other decisions that I made. So yes, I absolutely was bullied.
MATTHEW TODD
M T
Why are you so passionate about helping kids? Not only do I see how bullying affected my life but how kids today are growing up and the things that are happening with them. 160,000 kids won’t go to school tomorrow because of being bullied. 3.2 million are being bullied every single month. There are kids who are actually taking their lives because of being bullied. I knew that there was something that I could do and I absolutely had to. A way that I talk to kids, and teach them how to thrive from within. I discovered the key thing is really the inner esteem, the value that these kids put on themselves.
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When did you begin to realize that? I began to realize that kids are magnificent. Kids are great. I don’t care if it’s a bullier or the target, all kids are great. And that is really our responsibility to teach these kids how to thrive, how to handle their emotions and really how to succeed in life. What are the symptoms that a child is being bullied? One of the quick ways to know that they are being bullied is that they start withdrawing from the things they used to love that they no longer want to do. Also, you will see a lot of times, the kid explodes at home. What I mean by that is when the child is being bullied at school, when they react, or show any emotion at all, they are letting the bully win. And so they keep everything inside. When they get home, maybe the parent says “Hey, can you pick up your shoes?” The kid absolutely explodes for no reason at all. Because they finally can get out all those emotions. Sometimes, they won’t explode. But this leads to kids who are cutters. Kids who intentionally cut their arms, cut their thighs or places that you wouldn’t necessarily see because again, they
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For more information, please visit ToddGaster.com
As a licensed trainer of NLP, a licensed trainer of Neuro Semantics and a board certified coach, I’ve dedicated my life to understanding why people do what they do and really how to live with excellence. I’ve taken those learnings and applied it to children and teach them to thrive from within so that they can live the life that they were designed to live.
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con’t
do not want you to see it. They don’t want the bully to know that they are winning. They need to let out their emotions so they will cut themselves. When you are involved with your kids and in your kids lives, you will see these symptoms and realize what is going on and investigate it more. M
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What is the best advice you could give to a parent on how to help a child with bullying? The best advice that I would give is to help their child understand their 4 core powers. Owning their
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4 core powers really means that no one else can make them think anything. No one else can make them feel anything. No one else can make them do anything. No one else can make them say anything. That is easy to say, but when you understand the truth that no one else can make you do anything, that interrupts the pattern. Because there are 6 things that have to happen in order to be bullied. If you interrupt any one of those, it interrupts the pattern. It stops the bullying. For parents who are committed to teaching their children to thrive from within, how to live their highest best potential, to live the life they are designed to live, go to www.toddgaster.com and there are videos, free training, and more.
Being Able to Affect More People’s Lives
F
rom the moment Matthew and I met, it’s been really a joy. There are a lot of people who don’t walk their talk. And my experience from, A to Z has been amazing. The level of professionalism from the contact, in between, the making sure that, “Hey do you have this, do you need that?” The communication level has been great. And then the experience once I got here from the moment of stepping off the plane, having someone waiting for me. The biggest benefit that I feel that I’m getting out of the shoot is I believe I have a specific calling, a specific mission. And by using this medium and your help, being able to affect that many more people’s lives and to be able to see and understand. Most people don’t even know that what I do exists, and so they know they need this. They know they have it, but they don’t know how to get it. And so the biggest the benefit that I see with using your help is really getting this message out to the masses.
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