When Your Child is Worrying

BY KIEGAN BLAKE, O.T.

During these times of uncertainty, you want to give your child an internal experience of safety and security amidst the changes that are going on around him. You also want to validate your child’s feelings, as her worries are real, even when there is no imminent danger. Here are some tips: • Maintain your morning and evening routines.

These bookends of the day create predictability for your child. • Exercise. Your child is carrying his worry inside his body and so create a daily outlet to discharge his worries. • Create fun. Laughter and giggling are also wonderful outlets. • Include a daily practice to manage your own worries. It is important that you feel centered and regulated for your child. • Take turns talking about what is going well and what is “tricky”. You model talking about a range of emotions, which creates a balanced experience of both positive and tricky experiences, and your child will enjoy hearing yours. • Have at least 2 “quiet” times each day in a cozy space, where you do activities such as reading, drawing or audio book. Your child’s body will benefit from support to calm down and stay settled internally. • Share pleasurable activities with your child.

When your child feels close to you, she is likely to feel more secure and more emotionally calm. • When your child is telling you about his worry, listen and “hold the space” for that emotion.

Resist the urge to minimize it, solve it or talk your child out of it. It is important that he feels understood. • Empathize. “Hmmm, I can see how you’d be thinking about that” • Deep breaths. It is the fastest way to calm your child’s body. Drinking water slows down your child’s breaths. You can practice blowing up a balloon or blowing bubbles to make big breaths fun. • Problem solve together. “Hmmm, I wonder what we could do…” Listen and see what she comes up with. Ponder the possibilities together. • If your child has persistent worries, consider seeing a child counselor.

Kiegan Blake is an Occupational Therapist, Behavioral Specialist and Director of Maui Center For Child Development. For more information, please call (808) 873-7700 or MauiChildDevelopment.com