15.18 2011 Bar Guide, October 20, 2011, Volume 15, Issue 18, MauiTime

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OCTOBER 20, 2011

Contents VOLUME 15

✚

ISSUE 18

READER FEEDBACK BY READERS LIKE YOU PROTEST EVERYTHING

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: Your first alcoholic beverage? Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Can of Budweiser Associate Editor: Anu Yagi (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com @anuheayagi on Twitter Whiskey Sour at Idini’s Proofreader: Dina Wilson La Bierre de France, given to me by nuns Contributors: Jason Castle, Caeriel Crestin, Mick E. Finn, Lantana Hoke, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Sara Tekula, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Intern: Natasha-Lyn P. Mendoza Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Art Director & Production Manager: Scrappers scrapperstown.com Beer hidden in a Dr. Pepper can Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia, Christina Tarleton Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Blitz Weinhard beer in a stubby brown bottle General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Rot gut gin, neat

COVER: Label Lettering By Heather Diane www.heatherdiane.com Photo By Sean Michael Hower howerphoto.com

5 12 21 23 26 28 34 35 36 37 38 39

NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY DINING THIS WEEK’S PICKS DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID FILM CRITIQUE FILM TIMES KULA KID HOROSCOPE CLASSIFIED MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Web Design: Linear Publishing Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Tequila

bacteria to intestinal cells. Monsanto’s billions will not do anyone any good when nature no longer works the way it once did to sustain us. Meanwhile, the hundreds of millions–no, the billions of dollars that go into politics ensure that money and corporate commerce stay in control. To discover where human concerns are represented, look to Occupy Wall Street assemblies. No need to travel, they are coming to a location near you (“Occupy America!” Oct. 6, 2011). They are far different from corporate media tools using fear and ignorance, materialism and lust to keep a dark empire in power.

-Daniel Grantham, Haiku, via email

INCLUDING CHICO BAGS This is so hypercritical (Mauisphere, Oct. 13, 2011). Plastic bags are made from “polyethylene, a petroleum based product.” Well, what the hell you think a Chico Bag is made from?? Polyester, an OIL-BASED SYNTHETIC FIBER. Some are made from plastic itself! Goes to show how people can be easily fooled by green washed bags!

-Bad bag, via Mauitime.com

Send your feedback to the editor editor@mauitime.com, MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793, twitter.com/mauitime, or facebook.com/mauitime.

Admin. Executives: Keo Eaton (Smirnoff Ice), Kellie R. Holliday (808) 244-0777 Admin. Assistant: Jennifer Brown Champagne

Condemning differing views as “junk science” ignores important questions. Engineering calculates how much money and energy is required to approach a funder’s desired result. Science asks how a system works. Great science asks how all systems work together. Profit-directed engineering has allowed us to deface nature, and make plans to essentially commit suicide by disrupting nature, while denying real science. Politicians attack environmental protection for costing their supporters money. Our future with nuclear waste has already been compromised. We are all guinea pigs for modern chemicals. There is no question that climate change is happening at an accelerating rate. The great ice fields that covered the polar regions are disappearing at an incredible geological pace, as are the life-giving mountain glaciers that have sustained water supplies throughout the world for billions of people. Activated genetic material transfers from unlabeled “food” to the bacteria in our digestive tract, and rat studies show transfer from

We reserve the right to edit feedback. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of MauiTime. MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2011 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime. MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

OCTOBER 20, 2011

3

NEWS&VIEWS

LC WATCH BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

Follow The

Booze

$236,736,083.90 Gross liquor sales, Maui County:

Money

$ $

$100,263,374.53 (Retail)

$136,472,709.37 (Restaurants)

$2,326,583.52 Liquor Controls’s cut

Cases Investigated include the following: Minors-checking of personal identification: 23 Prohibitions-minor: 30 Noise levels: 1 Posting of license: 10 Drugs: 1 Entrances, aisles or walkways: 13 Sanitation: 1 Unauthorized use of trade name: 3 Conduct of employees: 8 Obstructing LC operations: 2 Hours for the sale, service and consumption of liquor: 7 Lighting: 7 Posters, signs and advertisments: 1

$1,098,606.51 Salaries

$1,118,198.85 Other Expenditures

$109,778.16 Surplus

• 21,683 Licensee Inspections • 1,104 Case Reports • 1,947 Certification Exams • 2 Educational Classes • 1,409 Certification Cards • 88 Administrative Actions • 25 Violations Adjudicated Breakdown of Violations: 17 Fines Assessed 3 Orders of Reprimand 2 Licenses Suspended 0 Licenses Revoked 3 Dismissed 0 Found “Not Guilty” Source: 2010 Annual Report, Maui County Department of Liquor Control

ET MAUI’S LARGES : OF N IO CT SELE

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NEWS&VIEWS

QUIZunderstood 1. The State of Hawaii Organization of Police Officers (SHOPO) is a powerful union representing 3,000 cops statewide. Among its many accomplishments, SHOPO successfully lobbied the state Legislature to exempt the names of disciplined police officers from the state public records law. Who did SHOPO endorse last week in the 2012 race to replace U.S. Congress member Mazie Hirono (D, 2nd District)? A. Former Honolulu Mayor Mufi Hanneman. B. Honolulu City Councilmember Tulsi Gabbard. C. Office of Hawaiian Affairs Chief Advocate Esther Kiaaina. D. Maui Mayor Alan Arakawa. E. Mad Magazine mascot Alfred E. Newman.

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Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort (built in 1978) and build in its place the luxurious 255-room Andaz Wailea Hotel. The Renaissance has been closed for the last four years. According to an Oct. 16 Maui News story, which of the following was NOT a proposal on what to do with the property? A. A St. Regis project to build 193 luxury condos (each costing at least $1.5 million)

served by “golf cart butlers,” which would have cost $250 million. B. A Baccarat project to build 193 luxury condos (each equipped with “signature Baccarat chandeliers”), which would have cost about $250 million. C. A De Beers project to build 193 luxury condos (each featuring diamond-studded lighting and plumbing fixtures), which would have cost a bit more than $250 million.

3.

Starting in November, the County of Maui has designated each of the first four Fridays of every month to be sponsored by a town, which will hold a street festival in that town’s main commercial neighborhood (though there’s no word from the county on what will happen in December when there are five Fridays). Place each of the following towns in the order the town parties will occur every month: A. Lahaina B. Wailuku C. Paia D. Makawao

See answers, page 29

NEWS&VIEWS

Coconut Wireless

Talk of the Island

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO bad thing. Or at least, something that kids do that might make some of us squeamish but is generally excusable. But when you look at the guys rounded up for Maximum Warrior, that attitude seems to be the mentality of the modern soldier. “I don’t think that I grew up,” Mike S. says in his Maximum Warrior video. “I always want to keep playing.”

MAUI’S MAXIMUM WARRIOR! You’d think that the line between bloody, dirty, ugly war and slick, sexy reality TV game shows would be, well, a deep and impenetrable chasm. But it apparently is not. “We are happy to let you know that one of Maui’s outstanding individuals is now featured on a national show called Maximum Warrior,” a public relations flack with California-based Driven Public Relations emailed me on Oct. 14. “Mahalo and have a nice weekend!” Maximum Warrior is what happens when the magazine Maxim, Jeep and the private military training company T1G build a cross-marketing alliance. It is, well, let’s just let the good people at Driven describe it for you: “Maximum Warrior is a one-of-a-kind competition that tests 10 active or former military and 10 civilian contestants in 15 action-packed, adrenaline-filled challenges,” states the press release I received on Oct. 14. “Tasks include extractions, terrain navigation around IED [Improvised Explosive Devices] simulations, direct combat, off-road driving capability, agility courses, special ops intelligence gathering and more... In addition to the bragging-rights including [sic] title of 2011 “Maximum Warrior,” the competition’s winner will also receive a 2012 Jeep Wrangler Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 Edition vehicle.” The whole thing takes place at a giant training facility in Arkansas run by T1G, a private corporation staffed by ex-special forces guys that offers comprehensive military tactics and weapons training (the T1G website says their facility offers “Zero hassles for transit and gear storage and significantly reduced risk/chance of ‘off-property incidents’”). What’s more, those watching the show online at MaximumWarrior.com (which, apparently, is the only way you can watch Maximum Warrior) can also enter a contest to win the same video-game themed Jeep Wrangler. And yes, one of the 10 ex-military con-

Yippy, let's play War!

testants is former Maui resident Mike S. (they apparently don’t use last names in online-only war-themed reality challenge shows). At 44 years old, Mike S. is probably the oldest guy in the Maximum Warrior show. He’s a United States Marine Corps Platoon Sergeant currently stationed at Camp Pendleton in Southern California. A veteran of one Afghanistan and four Iraq deployments, Mike S.–who seems to be an all-around nice guy and square shooter–also loves surfing. Maybe I’m late to the party, but it seems like equating war with a game might be a

LINGLE RETURNS TO MAUI! Linda Lingle, who spent 10 years on the Maui County Council and another eight years in the Maui County Mayor’s Office before winning two terms as Hawaii Governor, returned to the Valley Isle on Monday, Oct. 17 to campaign for the U.S. Senate seat being vacated by retiring Democrat Daniel Akaka next year. In the grand fashion of someone so experienced and stately in the political arena, Lingle started off strong by appearing before a group of seniors at the

Overheard “When we get stoned tonight we can have more. We have a whole other pizza coming.” -Customers at Flatbread in Paia, Oct. 15

Wailuku Community Center, where she strongly denounced those who scam the elderly out of their pensions. “I’m sad that we have to live like that, and we can’t trust everybody when they call us up,” she said, according to Maui Now. “You just can’t let people you don’t know get access to your information; and even people you do know, you just have to be very suspicious.” Later that day, Lingle moved to an even friendlier crowd: the Maui Chamber of Commerce. “I will go to Washington with a seriousness of purpose!” she told the hundred or so attendees, according to Lingle’s official Twitter feed (@Lingle2012). “I understand the importance of tourism. The visitor industry is critical. If elected, I want to be the point person in the Senate for tourism.” Indeed, Lingle reportedly said that if we could just get back to the number of visitors visiting the islands back in 2000, all would be well. Given Lingle’s many, many years of supporting the visitor industry (her forceful, if ultimately unsuccessful, advocacy for expanding Kahului Airport and the Superferry being just two of many examples), we have no doubt that she was being sincere. But as Mansel Blackford pointed out in his 2001 book Fragile Paradise: The Impact of Tourism on Maui, 1959-2000, relying on tourism handcuffs a region’s economy to the boom and bust market–when the economy is rolling along, Maui gets lots of visitors and times are good. But when large segments of the population are out of work– like they have been for the last few years– the economy on the island can be very bad. “Tourism was certainly a mixed blessing on Maui,” Blackford wrote. “Tourism often promised more than it delivered; it required wrenching changes in the lifestyles of those embracing it, and even of those shunning it.” ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1518n2

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OCEAN AWARENESS TRAINING Did you know that Blue and Sperm whales travel within Hawaiian waters? If you didn’t, then it may be time to brush up on your cetacean knowledge with some upcoming free training offered by Sarah Mesnick, the Science Liaison for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration Southwest Fisheries Science Center’s Protected Resources Division and the Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary. Mesnick will discuss research in Sperm whale intelligence, culture, social complexity and life history as well as other cetacean behavior at the Lahaina Civic Center on Tuesday, Oct. 25 at 6pm. “Floating in the darkness with the sounds of the hunt from mammals big and small, above and below the water, was magical,” said Mesnick. “I am incredibly lucky that my research allows me to spend time with wild animals.” Other community action workshops in this series include: • Thursday, Oct. 27: “Water Quality Monitoring” • Tuesday, Nov. 1: “Understanding Maui’s Herbivore Enhancement Area” • Wednesday, Nov. 2: “Volunteering 101” All sessions begin at 6pm and end by 8pm. There will also be a “Volunteer Networking Potluck” on Saturday, Oct. 29 at Kahekili Beach Park from 9am to noon. For more information or to register go to oceanawarehawaii.org or call 879-2818.

TO YOUR HEALTH

COPD Coalition (Spirometry), Hepatitis Support Network (Hepatitis C Screening), National Kidney Foundation of Hawaii (take-home kidney function test), ‘Ohana Health Plan (glucose testing and medication management), Caregivers Foundation of America (counseling and direct service for care-givers), the Queen’s Women’s Center (women’s cancer information and referral), and the American Lung Association (smoking cessation). Attendees can also learn more about medications, Native Hawaiian approaches to health and family care-giving assistance. For more information, email annie@projectvisionhawaii.com.

MAUI GYMNASTS WIN! The gymnasts at Valley Isle Gymnastics did not let their small island, underdog status overwhelm them, and ranked well in their Oahu competition earlier this month. Athletes aged eight to 12 competed there in the Princess Classic meet, hosted at Island Tumblers Gymnastics. The meet was open to all gymnastics training centers in the state. “There’s never been any doubt in my mind that these young ladies are tough and committed to their sport,” says Coach Ajja DeShayne. “One of our parents summed up our experience quite well: Drowned in Oahu teams, each one of our girls disrupted the other teams’ dominance and climbed on the award podium repeatedly!” The girls are well aware that they’re currently representing the only USA competitive gymnastics experience in Maui County. Athlete Shyanne Sheldon was able to bend Mayor Alan Arakawa’s ear at the Maui County Fair, explaining her recent accomplishments in Oahu. Arakawa, in turn, presented Shyanne with an official mayoral pin, honoring her for the work she’d invested up to that point and wishing her well in re representing all of Maui County in her upcoming competitions. “She was on o cloud nine for days,” said Shan Shannon Sheldon, Shyanne’s

PHOTO BY AJJA DESHAYNE OF AJJA PHOTOGRAPHY

BY JEN RUSSO

Megan Bouthillier, Valley Isle Gymnastics Level 6 Gymnast mother. Here are the Valley Isle Gymnastics athletes’ scores and rankings from the Oct. 9, 2011 Princess Classic:

LEVEL 4 Shyanne Sheldon: 9.00 vault (3rd place), 9.00 bars (4th place), 8.90 beam (2nd place tie), 9.30 floor (3rd place), 36.20 all-around (3rd place) Kiara Soledade: 9.00 vault (2nd place tie), 8.05 (7th place), 8.10 (7th place), 9.00 (3rd place tie), 34.15 all-around (5th place) Makena Derby: 9.30 vault (1st place tie), 9.15 bars (2nd place), 8.55 beam (3rd place), 9.00 floor (2nd place tie), 36.00 all-around (2nd place) Kristina Goetz: 9.00 vault (5th place tie), 9.25 (2nd place), 8.80 beam (5th place tie), 9.35 floor (2nd place tie), 36.40 all-around (4th place)

President Barack Obama put a spotlight on national health care and Hawaii’s state health care plan is standing in that light, LEVEL 6 but there are still a lot of individuals falling Nohealani Ledesma: 9.25 vault (1st through the cracks. Which means this place), 7.45 bars (6th place), 7.50 beam (7th unique health event may help you: place), 7.975 floor (6th place tie), 32.175 allthe Lahaina Wellness Fair will around (7th place) be held at the corner of Prison Megan Bouthillier: 8.55 and Front Streets vault (8th place), 7.40 this Sunday from bars (8th place), 7.85 10am to 2pm. beam (8th place), 7.175 Lahainatown floor (8th place), 30.975 Action Commitall-around (8th place) tee, the Lions Club of Maui, Valley Isle Gymnastics We-A Hui, Aloha will be attending its next Health plan and competition on Oct. 30 at the Maui Board Kokokahi Gymnastics on of Economic DeOahu. For more informavelopment hui’d tion or to join Valley Isle up to bring this Gymnastics call 808-871health educa6116, visit valleyislegytion to all walks mnastics.com or email of life. The ageninfo@valleyislegymnascies there to astics.com ■ sist you (with no jen@mauitime.com questions asked) + @jenrusso include Project -@GilKAOGG (State Representative Gil Keith-Agaran), Oct. 18 Vision Hawaii To share or save this article, (retinal examitype: mt.hy.pr/1518n3 nations), Hawaii

TWEET of the WEEK “Hope someone got pix of the firefighters who Walked a Mile in Her Shoes- fetching bunch of guys & I think one of ‘em even shaved his legs.”

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“Back On On “Back

Front” Halloween In Lahaina Monday, October 31

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4 30PM KEIKI COSTUME PARADE S 4:30PM Sponsored db by Soroptimist of West Maui, Rotary Club of Lahaina and Lahaina Sunrise Rotary 6:00-8:45PM Costume Contest Registration: Campbell Park Live Music: Featuring “1810”, Sounds Of Addiction, Food, Keiki Activities, Official “Back on Front” T-shirt Sales & Face Painting. 7:00-9:00PM Costume Contest On Stage: Banyan Tree Sponsored by Honu Seafood & Pizza and Mala Ocean Tavern. Emceed by Branscombe Richmond. 9:30PM Winners Announced for Costume Contest The County of Maui & LahainaTown Action Committee support a fun & safe family event. Join us on Front St. and respectfully enjoy our historically rich streets.

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Dermatology WALK-INS WELCOME V˜iĂŠ Â?ˆ˜ˆVĂŠUĂŠ,>ĂƒÂ…iĂƒ -ÂŽÂˆÂ˜ĂŠ Ă•Â“ÂŤĂƒĂŠEĂŠ Ă•Â“ÂŤĂƒ

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NEWS&VIEWS

NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY CHUCK SHEPARD

OUR LITIGIOUS SOCIETY In 2009 Diane Schuler, with a 0.19 blood-alcohol reading (and marijuana in her system), drove the wrong way for two miles on a New York freeway, finally crashing into another car, killing three people and herself. In July 2011, her widower, Dave Schuler, filed a lawsuit against the state, alleging that the collision was the state’s fault for not posting signs warning motorists like Diane Schuler that they were going the wrong way. Dave Schuler’s own private investigator told The Daily Cortlandt newspaper that he tried to discourage Schuler from filing the lawsuit, to no avail.

ATTACK OF THE HANGING WEDGIE! Chicago’s WLS Radio reported that a man filed a $600,000 lawsuit on Sept. 2 against the Grossinger City Autoplex in the city, claiming that five employees had physically harassed him during business hours over a two-month period in 2009. Included was the man’s claim that he had been given multiple “wedgies,” one of which was a “hanging” wedgie.

CREME DE LA WEIRD A female Wisconsin prison chaplain was charged in September with several crimes in an

alleged attempt to stage a fake hostage situation with an inmate for the purpose of gaining transfers of both to another prison in the state. Prosecutors said the chaplain, a Wiccan priest named Jamyi Witch, 52, instructed the inmate at Oshkosh Correctional Institution to come to her office, barricade the door, throw things around the room, and role-play with Witch as if she were his mother. While the office was under siege, the pair allegedly had consensual sex, and Witch supplied the man with drugs and sang him lullabies, supposedly to calm him down, ending the drama (until charges were filed).

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS Anthony Watson, sentenced to prison in 1992 for crimes that included rape and robbery, became a notorious jailhouse lawyer and through successful challenges had reduced his 160year sentence to 26–and a release date of 2018. But he filed one appeal too many. A court ruled in his favor on that final appeal and ordered a new trial altogether (vacating the convictions and sentence but also the reductions Watson had worked so hard for). At the retrial in March 2011, he was found guilty again and this time sentenced to four consecutive life terms. ■ chuck@mauitime.com

ehbrah@mauitime.com

T

o the cabbie driving on the 5k road route: Honking your horn and driving fast while we’re running a 5k race won’t make us get out of your way. And we weren’t congratulating you on your driving skills by banging on your cab as you drove by, nearly running us over. We were telling you that we had the rightof-way at that time. Maybe you didn’t notice the 500 people running on both sides of the road, and maybe you didn’t see the many, many signs indicating that the road was a race route. Either way, karma will catch up to you. ■

To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1518n4

FULL SELECTION of PAU HANA SUPPLIES

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Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

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Open: Mon-Sat. 6:30am-10pm Sun 6:30am-9pm

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633.4990 OCTOBER 20, 2011

11

Label Lettering By Heather Diane

* by

*A

nthony

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Pignataro,

Jen Russo Anu Yagi

and K ellie Holiday

N 1925

at the height of Prohibition, the famous New York nightclub owner Barney Gallant wrote up a list of rules for those patronizing establishments that served alcoholic beverages. Some, like his admonishments against “pinching the cigarette girl’s cheek” or making “requests of the leader of the orchestra for the songs of the vintage of 1890” are both practical and timeless. But others, specifically his warnings against getting “too friendly” with the wait staff or “overgenerous” tipping (“Why be a chump? Fifteen percent of your bill is quite sufficient”) are out of line. Here on Maui in 2011, you can never be too kind to your bartender. To quote Winston Churchill (who may have been referring to the Battle of Britain, but who cares), “Never was so much owed by so many to so few.” These people, young and old, male and female, work incredibly hard so that we can get a drink in a matter of seconds. And not just any drink, either, but a Fuzzy Navel (peach Schnapps and orange juice) or a Sex on the Beach (peach Schnapps, vodka, cranberry juice, orange juice) or a Singapore Sling (gin, cherry brandy, grenadine syrup, sweet & sour, club soda). And to hell with the half dozen cocktails the barkeep is currently making–we want our drink now, immediately, yesterday! Bartenders have a helluva job anywhere, but here on island, where they also have to deal with tourists and the county Liquor Control department running minor decoy sting operations, it’s much harder. So yes, get friendly with your bartender. Learn his or her name, chat with him or her (if it’s relatively quiet) and feel free to tip generously. They’ve earned it. To make this easier for you (and them), we’ve compiled a ridiculously useful guide to all things bartender on the island of Maui. You’ll find profiles of some of the best bartenders from all over the island and comprehensive Happy Hour listings, as well as a handy infographic that follows alcohol money through the LC (page 5). As a bonus, Anu Yagi provides a few handy hang-over tips (page 36). So go ahead and have one more for the road, though we ask that you please, please, be safe and smart when you do so.

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OCTOBER 20, 2011

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Photos by Sean Michael Hower

BARTENDERS

AROUND THE ISLAND Hooch Handle Dave Horsman When are you punching the clock at Merriman’s Kapalua? Saturday through Tuesday. Why sling booze? I was sick of mowing laws. And I love meeting new people. Libation Likes Rum. I like to pillage. Astro Sign Aries Moonshine Mixture Margarita: rocks, salt. Personal Poison MGT (Mount Gay Rum and Tonic). Sweet soused perks Meeting new people. Bottle Buzz Kills Meeting new people. Tipsy Tips It’s not easy being me.

Josh Marten @ Sharky’s Hooch Handle Josh Marten When are you punching the clock at Sharkey’s? Always. Why sling booze? Passion for food and people. Libation Likes Wine. I like wine because it can compliment any food or occasion. Astro Sign Libra Moonshine Mixture My cocktail is a Pirates Long Island. I’ve been told I make the best Margarita and Long Island in town. Personal Poison My drink is tequila but I get crazy on it. Sweet soused perks I love people and I get to meet a lot. Bottle Buzz Kills Hearing bad stories. I want everyone to be happy but unfortunately, the times we live in mean there are a lot of people who aren’t.

Linda Arnold @ Bistro Molokini Hooch Handle Linda Arnold When are you punching the clock at Bistro Molokini? Most days until sunset. Why sling booze? I always bartended at parties so I figured why not get paid for it and live somewhere amazing. Libation Likes Kettle One Vodka. It goes with anything. Also wine with unique labels–you never know what you may discover. Beers from Mexico, too. I drank a lot of them in my 20s while living in San Diego and crossing the border… Fun times! Astro Sign Sagittarius but I’m also the year of the Ox and they are both pretty right on. Moonshine Mixture Grandma’s Margarita has been the one up until this summer when I created the Grand Wailea Ginger Tea in honor of our 20th Anniversary. It’s made with Absolut Wild Tea, Ginger, Passion Fruit and lemon & lime. Personal Poison Usually wine but on occasion a martini. Love blue cheese stuffed olives. Sometimes that’s dinner. Sweet soused perks Meeting great people from around the world who would love to trade places with me. Bottle Buzz Kills Not tasting all the drinks. Sometimes they look so delicious! Tipsy Tips Life is Good!

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Hooch Handle Melissa Lamb When do you punch the clock at Honu Seafood and Pizza? Varies but most of the time Wednesday through Sunday evenings. Why sling booze? The bartenders always looked like they were having more fun. Libation Likes I like red wine, wheat beers and vodka. Varies

by mood but is usually one of those three when I’m out. Astro Sign Gemini Moonshine Mixture Orgeat, cucumber, pineapple juice and vodka blended with ice. It’s called Forest Rain. Personal Poison Cheap red wine or Coors light with a lemon. Sweet soused perks Interacting with people who are out for a good time. Also being asked to make shots with crazy names that I’ve never heard of. But if you tell me what’s in it, I can usually pull it off. Bottle Buzz Kills Late Nights. I’m a morning person so it’s hard to wait all day to go to work. Tipsy Tips I also enjoy experimenting and making new drinks.

Buddy Padilla @ The Cliff Dive Bar Hooch Handle Buddy Padilla When are you punching the clock at The Cliff Dive Bar at Sheraton Maui? Tuesday-Friday, 11am-8pm. Why sling booze? Both my brothers are also bartenders, so it was my competitive nature. Libation Likes Corona and Patron: because they give you clarity and vision! Astro Sign Leo Moonshine Mixture Maui Mist (it’s on our menu): Midori, Malibu with orange juice, cranberry and pineapple juice. Personal Poison Beer and tequila. Occasionally wine but there’s no drinking without tequila. Sweet soused perks Being that I work at a pool/beach bar, it’s the view, meeting people and just working in an upbeat atmosphere. Bottle Buzz Kills Being responsible and accountable for other people’s safety. Tipsy Tips “Tonight we ride!!”

Jason Vendrell @ Monkeypod Hooch Handle Jason Vendrell When are you punching the clock at Monkeypod Kitchen? Very often. Always on Sunday nights. Why sling booze? I love smiling, laughing and talking story with people. Libation Likes Tequila, Champagne, Anchor Liberty Ale. Astro Sign Aquarius Moonshine Mixture No Ka Oi: Ocean vodka with muddled Thai basil, lime, simple syrup and mixture of local honey, lilikoi and egg whites. It has a great flavor and light frothy texture, thanks to the egg whites. Our Monkeypod Mai Tai is pretty awesome, too. Personal Poison Champagne when I can afford it (which is rarely). Usually whatever cheap wine (red or white) that’s in my fridge. Sweet soused perks Meeting so many interesting people and having them tell me that my hair looks nice. Bottle Buzz Kills Wanting to drink with the people I meet. Tipsy Tips Monkeypod Kitchen just started doing champagne Sundays: 50 percent off bottles of bubbles all day!

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Hooch Handle Steve Edmiston When are you punching the clock at Stopwatch Bar & Grill? Tuesday, Thursday and Friday nights. Why sling booze? Help out with my college expenses (Aerospace Engineering). I’m living proof that it takes a rocket scientist to do this job. Libation Likes I make excellent Margaritas... lots of Texas Training! Astro Sign Capricorn Moonshine Mixture Tuaca Lemon Drop.

Continued on page 15

OCTOBER 20, 2011 13

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14

OCTOBER 20, 2011

LUNCH Mon-Friday 11am – 2pm DINNER Mon-Saturday 5pm-9pm #LOSED 3UNDAYS s B . Y . O . B .

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Continued from page 13 Personal Poison Top Shelf Mango Margaritas Sweet soused perks All of the interaction with people... and showing off some tricks! Bottle Buzz Kills Shutting people down tactfully. Tipsy Tips I have been at Stopwatch about 14 years and love working here. It’s the Upcountry Cheers!

Sweet soused perks Working with a team to try and provide a special and memorable evening for people. Bottle Buzz Kills Saying “no� to grown adults and telling them they have had enough to drink. Also making people understand that my name is Renie, not Remmy. Tipsy Tips Never ever be what I call an “Industry Whore.� Always treat people well and give them the best service possible, no matter what the gratuity.

Annabehl Sinclair @ Lahaina Grill Hooch Handle Annabehl Sinclair When are you punching the clock at Lahaina Grill? Wednesday through Sunday nights. Why sling booze? Having a culinary background, I wanted to expand my experience and found there is just as much creativity behind the bar. I never looked back. Libation Likes 1) Bourbon, we’ve been friends a long time and it’s such a versatile base. 2) Sauvignon Blanc. I’m a Kiwi, we’re good at making it. 3) I’m not really a beer drinker but I love the Hitachino range. Astro Sign Aries Moonshine Mixture Pearfection Martini: Grey Goose pear vodka, Apple Pucker, prickly pear puree and fresh lemon. Personal Poison Tea. Seriously, I’m a colonial. I can’t help it. Sweet soused perks Experimenting with new ideas–the bar scene is constantly evolving. And, of course, our great customers! Bottle Buzz Kills The hours make family time a little tricky. Tipsy Tips I’m really excited about molecular mixology right now. It’s been making a big splash in other parts of the country. I’m experimenting with foams right now and they are so interesting. You can elevate the cocktail in ways we never could before.

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Hooch Handle Renie Hamayelian When are you punching the clock at South Shore Tiki Lounge? Friday-Tuesday nights. Why sling booze? This was something that seemed fascinating to me from a very young age. Libation Likes I don’t choose favorites. Astro Sign Sagittarius Moonshine Mixture Hawaiian X: Xrated, Stoli Razzberry, plus fresh Maui pineapple. Personal Poison I love water.

Bart Hamayelian @ South Shore Tiki Lounge Hooch Handle Bart Hamayelian (aka Bizzy Barty) When are you punching the clock at South Shore Tiki Lounge? Thursday-Sunday days and Wednesday late night. Why sling booze The money and the people. Libation Likes Whiskey/Pabst Blue Ribbon. Makes tears taste less bitter. Astro Sign Aries Moonshine Mixture Bartle ‘n Dames: Captain Morgan, Malibu, pineapple, cranberry, OJ. Personal Poison Warm milk Sweet soused perks The money and interesting people Bottle Buzz Kills Having to babysit and not being tipped. Tipsy Tips Remember to tip!

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Hooch Handle Leialani Robis When are you punching the clock at Tradewinds? Friday - Monday evenings, and Tuesdays during the day. Why sling booze? I needed a job and started working at Chuck’s Steak House as a hostess and worked my way up. Libation Likes The occasional Jager to relax. Astro Sign Cancer Moonshine Mixture Mojito and Mai Tai. Personal Poison I don’t drink at home. Sweet Soused Perks The best thing about being a bartender is the different people I meet from all over the world. Bottle Buzz Kills I was challenged to come up with my biggest challenge in being a bartender.

HAPPY HOUR

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LIVE M LIVE MUSIC USIC NIGHTLY NIGHTLY 6-9PM 6-9PM SUNDAY :: 2ON 3HADIAN 2OB 7RIGHT s $3 Well Drinks MONDAY :: *AM 3ESSION W "OBBY )NGRAHAM &RIENDS s $4 Mai Tai Drinks TUESDAY:: -IKE -ARK s “Make your Drink a Double� for $2 WEDNESDAY :: 3TEVE 3ARGENTI *OSE s $4 Blue Hawaii THURSDAY :: )SLAND &AVORITES W +AWIKA ,UM (O s $4 Margarita FRIDAY :: 'IRLS .IGHT /UT W 'INA -ARTINELLI s $4 Classic Cosmos SURFIN SAT :: 7ITH $OMINIC s $4 Longboard Draft DAILY SPECIAL FROM 6-7PM 1/2 OFF PUPU Menu

Continued on page 16

OCTOBER 20, 2011 15

Continued from page 15

LAHAINA FRIED SOUP ★ GARLIC NOODLE POHOLE SALAD ★ SOBA ★ YAKITORI PAD THAI ★ MISO SALMON NORI FRIED CHICKEN ★ HAPA RAMEN SINGAPORE NOODLES ★ SAKE COCKTAILS SCALLOPS W/ ASPARAGUS

Learning the fine line between crafting amazing cocktails and speed/efficiency. Tipsy Tips “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink, when they wake up in the morning that’s the best they are going to feel all day.� – Dean Martin

SERVING LUNCH & DINNER Daily 10:30 a.m. - 10:00 p.m.

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16

OCTOBER 20, 2011

Hooch Handle Barbara Cobey When are you punching the clock at Sarento’s on The Beach? Monday - Friday evenings. Why sling booze? My first job was as a busser, then server, then bartender. I’ve had 30 years in the food and beverage industry. I got my beverage training from Tonay Abou Ganim while working in Las Vegas at the Mirage, Bellagio and the Wynn. Libation Likes Rum. It has such diversity and I like the buzz. Astro Sign Aquarius Moonshine Mixture Siren’s Song. It’s almost impossible to resist: Bombay Sapphire, fresh lemon juice and Blue Hypnotic, then shaken, strained and poured into a chilled cocktail glass that’s frosted with superfine sugar and garnished with a berry and lemon wheel. Also the Kula Lavender Mojito, with Appleton Estate Rum. Personal Poison Wine, especially the big reds. Sweet soused perks The customers. I like to make people feel special. Bottle Buzz Kills Challenge is good. Keeping up with the trends. This industry is ever evolving. It’s necessary to continue your education in order to be successful. Guests expect us to be knowledgeable and anticipate their needs. Tipsy Tips I also like to stay in touch with our guests and send out invitations to return.

John Keuler @ Longhi’s Hooch Handle John Keuler When are you punching the clock at Longhi’s? 10am to 4pm Friday to Tuesday. Why sling booze? I thought it always looked like fun, and it is! Libation Likes Beer. I grew up in Wisconsin (big beer drinkers) and I like to taste a variety of beers. Astro Sign Aquarius Moonshine Mixture Lahaina Lemonade. Personal Poison Beer or Vodka Cranberry. Sweet soused perks It’s a very active job and you get to meet a lot of really nice people. Bottle Buzz Kills To give the customer the quality of service I like to maintain when it gets really busy.

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Hooch Handle Michael Misaka When are you punching the clock at Pulehu Restaurant at the Westin Kaanapali Resort? Thursday to Monday. Why sling booze? I have a passion for mixology. Libation Likes St Germaine liqueur. It’s new and hot and our guests love it. Also big boy cabs from Napa valley and Maui Brewing Company’s Mana Wheat. Astro Sign Sagittarius, the most philosophical of all the signs, but I don’t believe in any of that. Moonshine Mixture Caprese Martini: tomato basil-infused martini garnished with a grape tomato and a fresh mozzarella ball. Personal Poison Scotch from the lowlands. Sweet soused perks You’re like a chef but with ingredients that put people in a good mood Bottle Buzz Kills

William Sythes @ Ambrosia Hooch Handle William Sythes When are you punching the clock at Ambrosia? Wednesday through Saturday. Why sling booze? I’ve been in the business so long that I can’t rightfully say what got me into the business. Libation Likes I don’t have a favorite spirit. I view it the same way I do music; I appreciate using a variety of spirits to help express the different moods and attitudes of our customers. Astro Sign Aries Moonshine Mixture You’d have to ask my customers. The drinks I get the most compliments from are slightly dirty vodka Martinis, lilikoi lemondrops and Caipirinhas. Personal Poison

Continued on page 18

OCTOBER 20, 2011 17

Continued from page 16

lahaina cafe

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OCTOBER 20, 2011

Hooch Handle Wendy Agustine When are you punching the clock at Hali’imaile General Store? Monday-Friday during lunch hours: 11am2:30pm. Libation Likes I like fresh and subtle flavors in cocktails, fullbodied chardonnay’s buttery with toasty caramel taste, and big, beefy reds. Astro Sign Pisces Moonshine Mixture Lemongrass Ginger Frost: fresh lemongrass, lime juice and ginger that is infused for about a week. We serve it with either vodka or coconut rum. Sweet soused perks Creating specialty drinks most have not experienced, using Maui’s freshest fruits and herbs.

**

OFF

OFF OFF

50¢ 75¢ $1

DAILY 3-7PM

Recently, I’ve been oscillating between vodkas and whiskeys. Sweet soused perks I think the best thing about being a bartender is that I’m in a profession that generally makes people happy. It certainly beats being a tax auditor or a repo man. Bottle Buzz Kills The biggest challenge with being a bartender is the balance between people enjoying themselves and people being safe.

Mat Seavey @ Mama’s Fish House Hooch Handle Mat Seavey When are you punching the clock at Mama’s Fish House? Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday nights. Why sling booze? The natural progression for a lifetime of restaurant work. Libation Likes I am an equal opportunity imbiber. Astro Sign Aries Moonshine Mixture The Pau Hana: Bombay Gin, guava, lime and ginger, shaken and strained. Personal Poison Mostly wine but failing that, whatever’s in stock. Sweet soused perks Meeting people from around the world. Bottle Buzz Kills Fending off the hordes of rum-crazed women!

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Hooch Handle Triston Rodrigues When are you punching the clock at The Red Bar at Gannon’s, A Pacific View Restaurant? Monday and Tuesday, 3pm-close; Thursday and Friday, 10am-7:30pm. Why sling booze? “Multitasking.� Libation Likes Chopin Vodka and Failla Pinot Noir. Astro Sign Libra Moonshine Mixture Awapuhi (a refreshing cocktail with a mild ginger heat). I grew up loving ginger because our family used it a lot. Personal Poison Mostly Heineken or whatever is on sale or special at my local grocery store. Sweet soused perks Meeting different people from around he world and sharing with them the “Aloha Spirit.� Bottle Buzz Kills Cutting people off. Tipsy Tips Being a bartender on Maui is one of the best jobs anyone could have... especially with the view that I have from The Red Bar.

Hooch Handle Tarah Principato When are you punching the clock at Spago at the 4 Seasons? Tuesday to Saturday. Why sling booze? I started working behind the bar, as most do, in my twenties while in college pouring beers and shaking shots. Soon enough, that “job� turned itself into a passion for food and wine. Libation Likes I am a purist when it comes to cocktails. Therefore, my favorite spirit tends to be a neutral grain vodka, particularly Ketel One when mixed with a splash of soda and fresh squeezed lime. Love, love, love Bubbles! (especially in the pink variety). And, of course, big Italian reds! Beer is typically limited to cold weather visits and East Coast pubs. But when enjoying, I do like a good chilled IPA. Astro Sign Aquarius Moonshine Mixture At Spago, we offer an array of delicious cocktails from our “Liquid Therapy� menu. One of my favorites to make is our Pandora’s Box. I am typically not a gin drinker, but when it comes to Hendricks, I’m in. The Pandora’s Box is a refreshing concoction of Hendricks Gin, St. Germaine (which is an Elderflower liquor) and fresh lemon juice. Shaken and served up in a Martini glass, with a twist! Personal Poison We typically have Ketel in the freezer and a soda gun in the fridge. Otherwise French Rose or bubbles for sunset and big, beautiful reds for anytime after. Sweet soused perks What I love about the bar at Spago is our guests. We have a great local following, as well as guests that travel to see us a few times a year. I love having the opportunity to discuss travels, food, and wine. It’s a job with great chances to share adventures. Bottle Buzz Kills I would say the biggest challenge of being a bartender is having consistency with your service, learning the art of balancing being busy with giving attention to your guests and reminding yourself to work hard but always have fun! Tipsy Tips Come visit me at Spago!

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Hooch Handle Courtney When are you punching the clock at Ruth’s Chris Wailea? Monday, Thursday and Saturday. Why sling booze? The chance to interact with new people on a daily basis. Libation Likes

Beer, there’s so many to choose from! I love the flavor and carbonation and it tastes good with anything! Astro Sign Virgo Moonshine Mixture Michelada: salted rim, beer, tomato juice, olive juice, Tabasco, Worcestershire, pepper shaken and served over ice. Personal Poison I like everything. Wine with dinner and beer with sports or a movie! Sweet soused perks Working in a fast paced environment, meeting new people and hearing their stories. Bottle Buzz Kills Having to tell someone they’ve had too much to drink. I always want everyone to have a great fun time.

Hooch Handle Lisa Gerstenberger (owner) When are you punching the clock at Steel Horse Saloon? Monday and Friday. Why sling booze? I started at TGI Friday’s because I was a mom and I like the hours. I’ve now worked as a bartender for 25 years and I previously owned a bar for 10 years. Steel Horse is my second bar. Libation Likes At Steel horse we focus on bourbon and beer. I am really enjoying the new Honey Whiskeys, they are nice and sweet! Astro Sign Pisces Moonshine Mixture I make the best Mai Tais on the island! Personal Poison I don’t really drink at home but if I do then it’s Jack Daniels. Sweet soused perks My patrons who become friends and family. Bottle Buzz Kills Working until 2am. Tipsy Tips Come and see me at Steel Horse Saloon. It’s a warm friendly atmosphere. I liken it to a Cheers for Maui–plus we’ve got the cleanest bathrooms!

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Dia Asada @ The Fairmont Kea Lani Hooch Handle Dia Asada When are you punching the clock at The Fairmont Kea Lani? My schedule isn’t consistent, so I may be there any day of the week. Why sling booze? I was first hired as a server at Polo Beach Bar & Grill, then moved to a cocktail server at Luana Lounge, then moved into my present position as bartender. Astro Sign Capricorn Moonshine Mixture Sapphire Kawili: Sapphire gin, honey, blueberries, sage leaves, lemon wedges. Personal Poison Vodka Sweet soused perks Taking the kitchen & putting it behind the bar

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Hooch Handle Matt Hernandez When are you punching the clock at David Paul’s Island Grill? Thursday to Monday. Why sling booze? Friends of mine got me a job as a bar back when I was 21. Libation Likes I like vodka and whiskey, Italian red wines and Longboard Beer. Astro Sign Virgo, but that stuff’s silly! Moonshine Mixture DP’s Island Martini: Grey Goose Orange, Orchid Guava liqueur, lemon and pomegranate juice. Personal Poison Vodka or beer. Sweet soused perks No day is ever the same. Bottle Buzz Kills Keeping a bad day outside of work. Tipsy Tips Always tip your bartender. The better you take care of me, the better I take care of you!

Hooch Handle Dennis “Murph� Murphy When are you punching the clock at Hard Rock Cafe? Monday, Thursday and Friday. Why sling booze? So I can stay past Last Call. Libation Likes Mead Astro Sign Aquarius Moonshine Mixture Liquid THC: Absolut Citron, Midori, Hypnotic, pineapple juice and sweet & sour. Personal Poison Vodka and watermelon juice or PBR Sweet soused perks All the knowledge that’s shared through conversation. Bottle Buzz Kills Rude guests. You should be nice to the guy making your drink. Tipsy Tips Pink Mohawk for Breast Cancer Awareness Month (Pinktober). Come help out the cause.

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Hooch Handle Jerry Gouger When are you punching the clock at Duke’s Beach House? At night, I’m part vampire. Why sling booze? I just sort of lucked into it. Libation Likes Grand Marnier: It’s sweet like me. Coors Light: quantity over quality. Half bottle of red and no glass. Astro Sign Leo Moonshine Mixture Campari & Soda. Personal Poison Miller High Life. Sweet soused perks Getting to joke around with people and make money doing it. Bottle Buzz Kills Staying sober. Tipsy Tips I like long walks on the beach and kittens.

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Continued from page 19 When are you punching the clock at Timba? Fridays and Saturdays. Why sling booze? Love of Music. Libation Likes Patron, Cabernet Savignon and Corona. Moonshine Mixture Uncommon Passion. Personal Poison Vodka soda or Patron. Sweet soused perks Having your days off. Bottle Buzz Kills Keeping the secrets you see happening every night. Tipsy Tips Have a Happy and Safe Halloween.

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a good time to happen. Bottle Buzz Kills Cutting people off is always hard.

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OFF 25%

Hooch Handle Lesly Matchison When are you punching the clock at Haui’s Life’s A Beach? Wednesday through Monday. Why sling booze? I started while I was in college. Libation Likes Vodka, like the Maui Sunburn at Life’s A Beach. Because it’s got vodka and it’s delicious. Astro Sign Capricorn Moonshine Mixture Cactus Cooler: Mandarin Vodka, Peach Schnapps, and Redbull. Personal Poison The new Pinnacle Whip Cream Vodka. It’s delicious. Sweet soused perks Meeting tons and tons of people. Bottle Buzz Kills Trying to keep everyone happy when you’re really busy. Tipsy Tips Bartending is a great job. It’s super fun and I love the service industry!

Food Kama’aina

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Hooch Handle Eric Zimmerman When are you punching the clock at Mala Ocean Tavern? Wednesday through Saturday Evenings. Why sling booze? It all started with an amazing summer break on Hilton Head Island, SC with great friends. Libation Likes Vodka: it can be used in so many ways any time of day and it’s the lowest calorie option for a cocktail. Astro Sign Scorpio Moonshine Mixture Come see me to find out! It changes regularly. Personal Poison A lot of coconut water and a little beer. Sweet soused perks The ability to develop friendships over time with the people I meet not only locally, but from all over. Great food and beverages make people happy and I’m fortunate to make a living by interacting with happy people. Bottle Buzz Kills Informing someone they are no longer about to purchase another alcoholic beverage. The reaction is always awkward. Tipsy Tips Martinis should have a frosty layer of ice, and make sure you have fresh garnishes.

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Hooch Handle Stephanie Nobley When are you punching the clock at Haui’s Life’s A Beach? Thursday to Monday. Why sling booze? I’m from Austin, Texas. There are a lot of bars there and that’s where I got my start. Libation Likes I like Jager. It’s always good for a good time. And Shiraz–I like red wines. Astro Sign Cancer Moonshine Mixture Mai Tai Personal Poison Jager (that sounds bad) and Corona. Sweet soused perks Seeing people, meeting people and allowing for

Hooch Handle Randi Schnider When are you punching the clock at Diamonds and Dog & Duck? Tuesday at Dog and Duck; Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday at Diamonds. Why sling booze? Customer service. Libation Likes Jager. Need I say more? Astro Sign Libra Moonshine Mixture Jager bombs. We sell a lot. Personal Poison Beer and Jager, wine. Sweet soused perks Having good times with fun people while getting paid doing it. Bottle Buzz Kills Dealing with everyone’s different attitude. Tipsy Tips With cosmos you have to use fresh limes and coat the rim with a fresh lime all the way around. We have $4 cosmos on Wednesdays.

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Hooch Handle Darlene Reid When are you punching the clock at

Seahouse? Monday to Friday, 9:30am-4:30pm. Why sling booze? It’s a great financial opportunity. Libation Likes Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio. Astro Sign Cancer Moonshine Mixture Kalina’s Delight: Passion-orange, liquid ice cream, rock candy, Cruzan pineapple rum. Personal Poison Wine. Sweet soused perks Fun, people and location. Bottle Buzz Kills Getting everything done by/for Happy Hour. Also, side work.

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Moonshine Mixture I make an amazing Paloma Blue which is one of our house drinks at Charley’s. It’s Bombay Saphire gin, St. Germaine Elderflower liqueur and fresh squeezed grapefruit. Personal Poison Makers Mark & Ginger Ale Sweet soused perks I enjoy meeting interesting people with widespread personalities from around the world. Bottle Buzz Kills Finding the balance between allowing people to have fun and enjoy themselves, without things getting out of control. Tipsy Tips Everybody should make Charley’s their Pau Hana spot! Hooch Handle

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Hooch Handle Sue Tanaka When are you punching the clock at Lulu’s Lahaina? Monday and Saturday. Why sling booze? I wanted to be able to meet new people while having fun. Libation Likes Mind Erasers: no explanation necessary! Astro Sign Capricorn Moonshine Mixture Surf Tea Tanaka. Personal Poison Red Bull. Sweet soused perks The people you meet. Bottle Buzz Kills The late hours.

Kassi and the gang @ Charley’s Hooch Handle: Kassi Kindlesparker When are you punching the clock at Charley’s? Wednesday through Saturday nights and every Sunday for football and our Bloody Mary bar. Why sling booze? I was a server and two of the bartenders decided to open their own spot. They asked me to be a part of it and told me they would show me the ropes. The rest is history. Libation Likes I prefer bourbons, Malbecs and Guinness. I enjoy alcohol aged in barrels and perfected over time! Astro Sign Cancer

Five years ago, I was thrown behind the bar on a busy night. They never let me go back to serving tables. Libation Likes Spirit–Ketel One Vodka; Wine–Siena (nice exotic red); Beer–Guinness (It’s a meal in a glass). Astro Sign? Pisces Moonshine Mixture Ginger Cosmos or fresh Margaritas. Personal Poison Martinis. Sweet soused perks $$$$. Bottle Buzz Kills The hours. Tipsy Tips Cash tips are always best!

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Marielle Bassett @ Casanova Marielle Bassett When are you punching the clock at Casanova Italian Restaurant? Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday Why sling booze? When I was 18 I wanted to buy a car. So I got a job as a “shot girl” selling shots. Over time I just worked my up to behind the bar. Libation Likes Spirit–Ultimat Vodka; Beer–Black & Blue ( 1/2 Guinness, 1/2 Blue Moon); Wine–Lugana Zenato. That’s a very nice white wine with light, crisp, fruity flavors. Astro Sign? Taurus Moonshine Mixture Fresh Lilikoi Margarita. Personal Poison Ginger vodka & Soda. Sweet soused perks Meeting new people. Bottle Buzz Kills Deciding when to cut people off. Tipsy Tip If you tip well with the first drink, we will remember you aaaaaaalllllll night.

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Hooch Handle: Makana Kilborn When are you punching the clock at Casanova Italian Restaurant? Wednesdays and Fridays usually. Why sling booze?

Jack Daniels and Miller Lite bottles. Libation Likes Whiskey, because it makes the world go round. Astro Sign Virgo Moonshine Mixture Jack Daniels, straight up no chaser. Personal Poison Have I mentioned Jack Daniels and Miller Lite bottles? Sweet soused perks Meeting new people and hearing their stories. Bottle Buzz Kills Trying to hear people tell me their tab name when it’s really loud at nights.

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Hooch Handle/ Bar Manager Carrie Roarty When are you punching the clock at Casanova Italian Restaurant? Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Why sling booze? At 21 I lost my job and figured, “Happy or sad, people are always drinking...” So I got jobs at local bars and clubs, opened my own, sold my own and never looked back. It’s what I do. Libation Likes Spirit–Definately Ketel One; Wine–Red (I love Pinot Noir); Beer–Stella Artois. Astro Sign Scorpio Moonshine Mixture Martinis. Personal Poison Fresh Vodka Gimlets or SideCars. Love me some SideCars. Sweet soused perks The stories, someday I will write a book. Bottle Buzz Kills See above. Tipsy Tips Trust your bartender. If we cut you off, it’s because you need it. If we suggest something to drink, it’s because its good!

JDoc @ Kahalui Ale House Hooch Handle Jess Dockendorf aka JDoc When are you punching the clock at Kahului Ale House? Tuesday, Wednesday days and Friday, Sunday nights and some in between. Why sling booze?

Matt Wilburn @ Kahalui Ale House Hooch Handle Matt Wilburn When are you punching the clock at Kahului Ale House? Wednesday to Sunday. Why sling booze? Jameson. Libation Likes Jameson. Astro Sign Jameson. Moonshine Mixture Jameson. Personal Poison Jameson. Sweet soused perks Meeting new people... And Jameson Bottle Buzz Kills No challenge, just fun! Tipsy Tips Jameson ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1518L

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Bistro Casanova Happy Hour - Every Mon. and Sat. $1 off beers, $5 carafes of Chianti and Pinot Grigio, $5 Mojito and Margarita carafes. 4-6pm. 33 Lono Ave., Kahului; 808-873-3690; bistrocasanova.com Fernando’s Happy Hour - Daily (except Sat). $2 Amber Boch and Bud Light drafts, $2.50 Dos Equis draft, $3 wells, $4.50 original Margaritas. 2-7pm. 270 Dairy Rd., Kahului; 808-873-7759; fernandosmaui.com Green Leaf’s Daily Happy Hour - Daily. Drink specials. Excludes Pay Per View events. No cover. 2-6pm. 1088 L. Main St., Wailuku; 808244-4888 Hang Loose Lounge Happy Hour - Daily. $2.50 domestics. 11am-6pm. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului; 808-877-6284 Kahului Ale House Happy Hour - Mon-Fri. Kahului’s hot spot for sports and entertainment has a Happy Hour featuring 50 cents off all beers plus $3.50 well drinks. Taco Tuesdays 3pm-close: $2 Tacos and $3.50 Mexican beers and Margaritas. Thirsty Thursdays 6pm-close: $1 domestic drafts, $2 pints, $2 well drinks. Two $5 pupu dishes offered each day as part of specials posted daily on Facebook. 3-7pm and 10pm-close (no late night Happy Hour on Fri.). 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului; 808-877-9001; kahuluialehouse.com Koho’s Happy Hour - Daily. Specials on drafts, well drinks, and wine, available in the bar and the dining room. 3-6pm. 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-877-5588 Steel Horse Saloon All Day Happy Hour - Daily. $1 off any drink, $3.50 shots, free pupus and popcorn. Enjoy NFL Sunday ticket in their airconditioned bar. Specials include Karaoke Thursdays, live music Fridays, free pool Saturdays and $3 Bloody Marys on Sat. and Sun. 10 am-7pm. 1234 Lower Main St, Wailuku; 808-243-2206; facebook.com/cheersbikerbar Wailuku Coffee Company Happy Hour - MonFri. Half off iced blended espresso drinks. 2-4pm Wailuku Coffee Company, 28 N. Market St., Wailuku; 808-495-0259

* WEST MAUI ***

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Betty’s Happy Hours - Daily. $2 margaritas, $3 Mai Tais, $4 Mojitos or Kona brews and $5 ceviche. 2-5pm and 9-11pm. 505 Front St. #120, Lahaina; 808-662-0300; bettysbeachcafe.com Captain Jack’s Happy Hour - Daily. $3 wells and $1 off drafts. 3-6pm 672 Front St., Lahaina; 808667-0988 Cool Cat Cafe’s Happy Hour - Daily. $3 wells or feature drink and $1 off drafts. 3-6pm Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina; 808-6670908; coolcatcafe.com David Paul’s Happy Hour - Daily. Half off weekly specialty cocktails, well drinks, draft beers and the wine of the month, plus half off Bar Snax Menu (including Mac & Cheese, Kobe Sliders and Poketini). 5:30-7pm. 900 Front St., Suite A101, Lahaina; 808-662-3000; davidpaulsislandgrill.com Dollie’s Early Happy Hour - Daily. $2.50-$3.50 drafts, $4.95 power hour shots, $1.50 slices of cheese or pepperoni pizza, $5 pupus. 3-6pm and 10pm-12am. 4310 L. Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana; 808-669-0266; dolliespizzakahana.com Duke’s Beach House Happy Hour - Daily. Cocktails: $5 Mai Tai & Duke’s Ocean Mile (Blue Hawaii), Beer: $4 Mirror Pond, Coors Light & Blue Moon, Wine: $6 Kendall Jackson Chardonnay. Food: $5.25 Kahuna Sliders, $5 Cajun Ahi Taco, $4.75 Black Bean Nachos, $5.25 Imu Fired Ribs. 3-5pm 130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina; 808-6622900; dukesmaui.com Hard Rock Cafe Happy Hour - Daily. $4 premium cocktails, $3 domestic drafts, $4 domestic bottles and $5 wines. No Cover. 9pm. 900 Front St., Lahaina; 808-667-7400; hardrock.com

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OCTOBER 20, 2011

Honu Seafood & Pizza Happy Hour - Daily. 15 percent off all food and drinks. 3-4:30pm. 1295 Front St, Lahaina; 808-667-9390; honumaui.com Japengo Happy Hour - Daily. Hand-crafted Cocktails: $6-$8, Beer: $4, Wine: $5. Happy Hour Food Discounts: 25 percent discount on starter menu and a Special Pupu Platter for $26. They also feature live music every night from 6:30pm8:30pm. 5-6:30pm. 200 Nohea Kai Dr., Lahaina; 808-661-1234; maui.hyatt.com Java Jazz Happy Hour - Daily. $2 Becks, $3 Corona or Coors Light, $5 tropical drinks or wells. 4-6pm. 3350 L. Honoapiilani Hwy. #203 & 204, Honokowai; 808-667-0787; javajazz.net Lahaina Cafe Happy Hour - Daily. Discounts on all drinks; 50 cents off domestic drafts, well and call cocktails; 75 cents off domestic bottles; $1 off import drafts, wine, premium cocktails and import bottles. Featuring all-day $10 oyster shooters. 3-7pm. 843 Wainee St., Unit 1 & 2, Lahaina; 808-667-6655; TheEatGuide.com Leilani’s Happy Hour - Daily (except Tue). Featuring $4 Mai Tais and House Margaritas, Draft Beer (Bud light, Coors Light, Mirror Pond, Lava Man Red Ale, Dukes Blonde Ale, Maui Brew Co. Special) and $4 Sliders. 3-5 pm. Whaler’s Village, 2435 Kaanapali Pkwy. Bldg. J, Kaanapali; 808661-4495; leilanis.com Lulus Lahaina Service Industry Night - Mon. S.I.N. Night at Lulu’s Lahaina! Music by the All Access DJs. Get 50 percent off food and drinks, with valid hospitality industry ID. No Cover. 4-7pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina; 808-661-0808; luluslahaina.com Mala Happy Hour - Daily. Fantastic Martini list and the best oyster shooters spearhead this happy hour featuring $2-$3 off drinks and food. 3-4:30pm. 1307 Front St., Lahaina; 808-667-9394; malaoceantavern.com Maui Brewing Co. Happy Hour - Daily. Drink specials. 9:30pm-12am. Kahana Gateway Center, 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana; 808-6693474; mauibrewingco.com Merriman’s Happy Hour - Daily. Well drinks (42 Below Vodka, Bombay Gin, Bacardi Rum, Dewar’s Scotch, Sauza Tequila and Jack Daniel’s Whiskey) for $4 - Domestic Beer $3 - Mai Tais $6 in addition to Specialty Cocktail Menu. Also Oceanfront Wine Bar/menu every day at 3pm. All wine bottle purchases 20 percent off when consumed on deck; 25 percent off on all food everyday at the bar for Kamaaina. 3-5pm. 1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina; 808669-6400; merrimanshawaii.com Outback Steakhouse Happy Hour - Daily. Half off all appetizers, $1 off draft beers, house wines and wells, and $2.95 10oz domestic drafts. 11am-7pm. Lahaina Gateway Plaza, 325 Keawe St., Lahaina; 808-665-1822; outback.com Pineapple Grill Happy Hour - Daily. Great happy hour specials in Kapalua that start at 2:30pm to get your day going with $2 off draft beers and $4 Svedka Vodka cocktails. On Tap Stella, IPA, Heine, Bud Light, Primo and Sam Adams. 2:305:30pm. 200 Kapalua Drive; 808-669-9600; pineapplekapalua.com Pulehu Restaurant Happy Hour - Daily. Featuring $4 Mai Tais, $7 Tropicals, $4 Beer, $6 Wine. $3 sweet potato fries and $3 zucchini frites. 4-6pm. 6 Kai Ala Drive, Lahaina; 808-667-3200; pulehurestaurant.com Roy’s Happy Hour - Daily. “Aloha Hour” half off selected chef-prepared pupus in the bar. On Wednesdays, half off wine in the whole restaurant. 5:30-6:30pm. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy. Kahana; 808-669-6999; roysrestaurant.com Sly Mongoose Happy Hour - Daily. $2.50 domestics, and $2 all Schnapps. 4-7pm. 1036 Limahana Pl., Lahaina; 808-661-6181 Tropica Happy Hour - Daily (except Mon. and Tues.) Specials include: Wednesdays 25 percent off wines by the glass; Thursdays $7 “over ice” signature cocktails and wells; Fridays $9 Signature Martinis; Satur-

days Up to half off select bottles of wine; Sundays Hawaii Travel & Hospitality Industry night with 25 percent off all food, beverage and alcohol. (Proof of Hawaii Industry employment required). 5-6pm. 2365 Kaanapali Pkwy.; 808-667-2525; westinmaui.com/ dining/tropica/

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** SOUTH MAUI ** Ambrosia’s Happy Hour - Daily. Get $1 off bottled beers and well drinks, plus $2 off martinis (try their signature chick martini, the lilikoi drop) and draft beers and $3 off absinthe drinks. Vincent van Gogh would be jealous. No Cover. 6-9pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 808-891-1011; ambrosiamaui.com Beach Bum’s Happy Hour - Daily. $2.50 Bud Light and PBR pints, $3.25 Long Board Lager pints, $3.50 Margaritas and Mai Tais and $3 wells. 3-6pm. 300 Maalaea Rd. #1M; 808-243-2286 Bistro Molokini Happy Hour - Daily. $6 Drinks: Mon. - Mai Tais; Tues. - Crater Punch; Wed. - Lana’s Lemonade; Thurs. - Molokini Punch; Fri. - well drinks; Sat. - local beers; Sun. - Hawaiian Tea. Refillable Grand Wailea Signature Shaker Cocktails - $21. Food Specials: Buy 1 dinner entrée, get the 2nd of equal or lesser value for half off (Hawaii ID required). Nightly $39 3-Course Menu. 2-3pm and 8-9pm. Grand Wailea, 3850 Wailea Alanui Dr.; 808-875-1234; wailearesortdining.com Bocalinos Happy Hour - Daily. $3 well drinks, domestics and glasses of red or white wine. 4:306pm. 1445 S. Kihei Rd.; 808-874-4041 Diamonds Ice Bar and Grill Happy Hour - Daily. $3 Wells, $5 Jager, $2 Bud Light and dollar tacos from 3-5pm. 3-7pm. 1279 S. Kihei Rd. # 314; 808-874-9299; diamondsmaui.angelfire.com Dog and Duck Irish Pub Happy Hour - Daily. $3 Wells, $5 Jager, and $2 Bud Light. 3-7pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 808-875-9669 Lulu’s Happy Hour - Daily. $2.50 well drinks, $3 Rolling Rock or Coors Light drafts, $5 Bud or Bud Light 32 oz. mugs and $6 Shock Top or Stella Artois 32 oz. mugs. 2-6pm. 1945 S. Kihei Rd.; 808-879-9944; lulusmaui.com Haui’s Life’s A Beach Happy Hours - Daily. Budweiser, Rolling Rock, Bud Light and Coors Light $2.50 pints, $3.50 24oz mugs. Stella Artois and Shock Top $3.50 pints, $5 24oz mugs. Mai Tais $1 & $2. For just $6 get a whole liter of Mai Tai. 3-7 pm. On Sun. catch every NFL game. $6 Mimosas or $4 Bloody Marys to go with your $6 breakfast. 7am. 1913 S. Kihei Rd. #E; 808-891-8010 Humuhumunukunukuapua‘a Botero Bar Happy Hour - Daily. Fifty-percent off domestic beers, wine by the glass and well drinks on the rocks. 5-6pm. Grand Wailea, 3850 Wailea Alanui Dr.; 808-8751234; wailearesortdining.com/humuhumu Jawz Fish Tacos Happy Hour - Daily. $3 imported beers and $1 all premium, special and well drinks during Jawz’s happiest hour. 3-6pm. 1279 S Kihei Rd.; 808-874-8226; jawzfishtacos.com Kahale’s Happy Hour - Daily. A variety of drinks and pupus priced $2.25-$3. 10am-5:30pm. Kihei Kalama Village, 26 Keala Pl., Kihei; 808-875-7711 Monkeypod Kitchen Early Happy Hour - Daily. $8 specialty cocktails, $6 Ocean vodka drinks, $4.50 draft beers, $6 selected glass pours, $8 pizzas and half off appetizers. 3-5:30pm and 9-11pm. On Sun. get half Champagne all day. 10 Wailea Gateway Pl., Unit B-201; 808-891-2322; monkeypodkitchen.com Mulligan’s on The Blue Happy Hour - Daily. $6 Mai Tai’s, $5 House red and white wine, $2.50 Domestics, $3.50 Imports, $4 Wells, $6 Premiums, $3.50 Island Beers, plus weekly drink specials, and an ever changing choice of 6 selected Pupus for $6. 3-6pm 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 808-874-1131 mulligansontheblue.com Oceans Bar and Gril Happy Hour - Daily. $2.50 Mai Tais, $2 drafts (excluding Guinness, Cast Away IPA, and Dead Guy Ale). $1 off bottles, $2 off other cocktails and $2 off pupus. 3-6pm. 1819

S. Kihei Rd.; 808-891-2414 Pita Paradise Happy Hour - Daily. $2 off all cocktails, beers and appetizers. Available at the bar. 3-6pm. 34 Wailea Gateway Plaza; 808-8797177 Polo Beach Grille and Bar Happy Hour - Daily. Half off all drinks and pupus, also available at the Luana Lounge. 4-6pm. Fairmont Kea Lani, 4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.; 808-875-4100 Sansei Kihei Late Night Happy Hour - Daily. Sansei’s got beer specials and half off their appetizer menu. It’s also a good time to enjoy one of Maui’s best karaoke nights. 10pm-1am Kihei Town Center, 1881 S. Kihei Rd., #KT-116; 808-879-0004;sanseihawaii.com Sharky’s Happy Hour - Every Mon, Tue, Wed & Thu. $3 top shelf; $3 beers, $2 domestics, 50 cent chicken wings. Tokens are two for one. 3-5:30pm. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei; 808-874-5115; sharkyshawaii.com South Shore Tiki Lounge Happy Hour - Daily. $4 well drinks, Guinness pints, Bloody Marys or Sauza Margaritas on the rocks. 11am-6pm.Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 808-8746444; southshoretikilounge.com Sports Page Early Happy Hour - Daily. $2.50 rails, $3 glasses of wine, $4 Stella Artois, IPA or Widmere. 3-7pm and 10pm-close. 2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4; 808-879-0602 The Red Bar Happy Hour - Daily. $2 domestic and $3 premium drafts; $4 well drinks; $5 wines by the glass. Half off bar menu plus live entertainment Tues. and Thurs. 3-6pm. Gannon’s, Wailea Golf Club House, 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.; 808875-8080; http://gannonsrestaurant.com Three’s Bar and Grill Happy Hour - Daily. $3 Mai Tais and Margaritas, $3 drafts, bottles and wells. Half price appetizers and sushi. Also featuring $1.50 Pen Cove oysters. 3-6pm. 1945 S. Kihei Rd.; 808-879-3133;threesbarandgrill.com Tradewinds Poolside Cafe Daily Happy Hour Daily. $4 Mai Tai, Blue Hawaii, Kihei Seabreeze, Ocean Water and house wine drinks; $3 Bud Light drafts. 3-6pm. 2259 S. Kihei Rd.; 808-8918860; spicesmaui.com/tradewinds

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** UPCOUNTRY ** Cafe Des Amis Happy Hour - Daily. Enjoy half price wine and beer. 4-6pm. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 808-579-6323 Charleys Happy Hour -Daily. Enjoy $3 Wells, $3 Domestic bottles, & $4 Organic house red and white wines. Discounted pupu menu available during happy hour. Also Bloody Mary specials starting at 8am on NFL Sundays. 3-6pm. 142 Hana Hwy., Paia, 808-579-9453 charleyspaia.com Haliimaile General Store Tapas Nights - Wed. and Thu. No food item on the Tapas menu is over $9. Drink specials include $9 well martinis, all well cocktails $5.50, $4 Maui Brewing Co. beers, $9 Byron Pinot Noir and $9 Sonoma Cutrers. 5:30-9:30pm. 900 Haliimaile Rd., Makawao; 808-572-2666 Milagros Happy Hour - Daily. $3 local drafts and house Margaritas (only if you sit inside). 11 am6pm. 3 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 808-579-8755;milagrosfoodcompany.com Polli’s Mexican Restaurant Happy Hour - MonFri. $4 house Margaritas; $3 Coors, Coors Lights, Miller Lights, and Miller High Lifes; $3.25 wells. Food specials: $2.50 tacos, $4.50 half-order of wings, $2.50 nachos, $5 big nachos. 4-5:30pm. 1202 Makawao Ave.; 808-572-7808; pollismexicanrestaurant.com Stopwatch Happy Hour - Daily. $1 off domestics, draft mugs and well drinks. $1 off wine. $2 off pupus on Mon. starting during Monday Night Football. 4:30-6:30pm. 1127 Makawao Ave.; 808-572-1380 ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1518L2

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PICKS

This Week's Picks

DIVERSIONS, DALLIANCES & DATES

BY ANU YAGI

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 20 SOCIAL MEDIA CLIMBER - If you oblige the little b bird who told you “tweet,” learn more by checking out the Maui Social Media Users Group, where you can meet Maui’s social media celebrities IRL– folks like @digitalsplash (Jeff Bennet), @amauiblog (Liz (Liza Pierce), @peterliu47 (Peter Liu) and @mauitime’s own @jenrusso and @tommyrusso–and talk about tech stuff. Seating limited to 30. Free. 4-6:30pm. Malcolm Center (1305 N. Holopono St., Kihei); hightechmaui.com/programs/workshops/cfm No cover. 9pm. Three’s Bar & Grill (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 879-3133; threesbarandgrill.com

PLANTATION DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN - The Lahaina na Restoration Foundation’s third annual Lahaina Plantation Days kicks off with ith a screening of Great Grandfather’s Drum, “an inspiring, century-long story” that follows Maui Taiko drum ensemble’s “journey back to rural Japan to seek their ancestral roots,” and celebrates Japanese-American culture in Hawaii, ”unlock[ing] the door to a colorful culture that’s unique to Hawaii, a world seldom seen byy people outside the community.” The event continues on Fri. and Sat. (5-10pm, pm, Oct. 21 & 22), paying tribute to West Maui’s rich plantation heritage with historistorical displays and exhibits, restaurant food booths, a beer tent, kid zone, e, and live entertainment. $3 general / $5 three-day pass / free forr keiki five-years-old and younger. 6:30-8:30pm. Pioneer Mill Co. smokestack (275 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina); 661-3262; 61-3262; lahainarestoration.org oration.org

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 21 THE EMPIRES OF THE FUTURE FUNK ARE THE EMPIRES OF THE MIND - According to the gospel of Old Gregg, “The Funk is a living creature... [that] came from another planet and landed on Bootsy Collins’s house, back then Bootsy was just a simple farmer... One day Parliament was travelin’ around on The Mothership, foolin’ around with The Funk, when George Clinton kicked The Funk clean overboard. That was July 2, 1979, the day The Funk died.” But as the lore goes, this “funky ball of tits from outer space” didn’t really die at all, and has been hiding out in a sea cave. So we’re suspicious Mark D’Antonio and DJs Boomshot and Del Sol have found The Funk, because of their forthcoming “Future Funk” show–wherein one live musician (D’Antonio, live conga) teams with two DJs (mixing neo and classic funk from the ‘70s and ‘80s) to create “a new wave of electronic music that blends futuristic fat bass lines with classic funky layers.” (PS: Dress to impress; the person with the funkiest outfit wins $100.) $10. 10pm. Stella Blues Cafe (1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei), 874-3779; stellablues.com

IT’S OK TO DIP A TOE OF FROG - The classy, lassy, sassy art of tease is at its finest with Honolulu’s famed amed Cherry Blossom Cabaret–Hawaii’s premiere e burlesque revue. With two showtimes to choose e from tonight at the historic Iao Theater, enjoy “Boo!lesque, sque,” a Halloween-themed evening featuring the sultryy sensation Violette Beretta. (PS: Want more? On Sat. at Casanova, Cherry Blossom Cabaret and Maui’ss own Kit Kat Club Cabaret plus DJ Joey The Wrench rench present their “Speakeasy” showcase. See our ur Da Kine Calendar for details.) $15. 8pm or 9:30pm. m. ‘Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 242-6969; 6969; mauionstage.com / cherryblossomcabaret.com t.com

SATURDAY, SA AT TU UR RD DAY AY, OCTO OCTOBER 22 BOOK ‘EM, MFOL – Books: lovers hoard and haul ‘em because we’re heartsick over ‘em, taking any and BO every chance to add a new find or five to our badly bowing shelves. Whether newly inked or time-worn, bo books have an unmistakable aroma–like rain on asphalt, sex and candy or fresh cut grass. And like sharks iin chummed-up water, their heady smell alone can send bibliophilic folk into a frenzy. So when the Maui Friends Frien of the Library (MFOL) hosts a huge used book sale (every Fri., Sat. and Sun., Oct. 14-30)-the prima primary stock being the carcass of our dearly departed Old Lahaina Book Emporium–expect to see at least a few sshoppers who look on the verge of a codex conniption. All proceeds help support Maui County libraries. Prices start at $1. 10am-4pm. Kahului Shopping Center, next to Ah Fook’s (65 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 268-2976; mfol.org

THAT’S WHERE YOU’LL FIND ME - Maui Ki-Aikido, a 501(c)(3), hosts their “Treasures Beneath the Rainbow” benefit yard sale at their stunning dojo located across from Wailuku’s public gym, swimming pools and tennis courts. Special silent auction items are available for preview online. 8am1pm, Shun-shin-kan Dojo (194 Market St., Wailuku); 244-5165; mauiaikido.com

SUNDAY, SUND DAY AY, OCTOB OCTOBER 23 HORSE SENSE - Haku Baldwin Center (HBC) HBC) provides animal-assisted therapy programs (like e their Therapeutic Horseback Riding, dedicated solely to keiki eiki with special needs), year-round and at no charge to the community. ommunity. Help support their mission by attending their “Fall Harvest Festival,” which boasts pony rides, a petting zoo, a haunted house, a farmers’ market and bake sale, artisan and d food booths, face painting, balloon animals and a keiki Halloween oween costume contest. (PS: Like this? Be sure to friend d and follow HBC on Facebook and Twitter.) 9am-3pm. Haku Baldwin Center (444 Makawao Ave., Makawao); wao); 572-9129; hbcriding@gmail.com com

HEY, FOXYMOPHANDLEMAMA - The Maui Film Festival’s Candle Light Cafe & Cinema is back with their secH ond (and third*) showings of the season which continue to support Maui Tomorrow’s “Bring Back Baldwin Beach Tre Trees, Please” project. Tonight’s the Hawaii premier of Pearl Jam Twenty (a.k.a. PJ20)–the uncensored version, “caved from over 1,200 hours of [rare] footage spanning the band’s career,” directed by C Cameron Crowe (Almost Famous, Jerry Maguire)–which is considered “the definitive porttrait of Pearl Jam: Part concert film part intimate insider-hang, part testimonial to the power of music.” (*PS: Enjoy an encore screening of MFF’s audience award-winner I Am, on Wed., Oct. 26. The flick’s Tom Shadyac’s (Ace Ventura, Liar Liar) “first foray into non-fiction following a career as one of Hollywood’s leading comedy practitioners,” and explores Shadyac’s spiritual quest following life-on-the-A-list disillusionment.) 7pm. $12 / four-for-$40 passes available. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way., Kahului); 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org / mauifilmfestival.com

MONDAY, MONDAY AY Y, OC O OCTOBER CTO T BER 24 MOUTHWATERING MONDAYS - Every Mon. at Whole Foods Market, sample team members’ favorite flavors from 4-6pm. And every Mon. and Wed. at 4pm, join John Motley, licensed acupuncturist, who shares his knowledge of the healing powers of herbs. Free. 4pm. Whole Foods Market, Maui Mall (70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 872-3310; wholefoods.com/maui

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 25 IT’S THE ECONOMY, STUPID - As shitty as a sewer, the e economy’s got everyone’s minds occupied and the slump’s been totally tough, h, especially on mes, you can efsmall businesses. But did you know that even in these tight times, ers’ markets and fectively reach new customers at trade shows, craft fairs, farmers’ chment consulother public events? Today, Steve Rose, a business enrichment ience, lectures tant and SCORE counselor with over 35 years of experience, on the basics of preparing a successful trade show et al event for your business. Free. 12-1pm. 0 E. Maui County Business Resource Center, Maui Mall (70 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 873-8247 7

24

OCTOBER 20, 2011

IT’S 5 O’CLOCK SOMEWHERE - If searching ching for your lost shaker of salt has given you a case ase of the Mondays, turn your frown upside down byy getting wasted in Margaritaville. Because getting ng the best bargain-per-gulp is important, flip to page ge 22 for our annual Bar Guide’s Happy Hourr listings and learn where and when to spend your time and hard-earned dollar. ollar.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 26 IT JUST GO-GOS TO SHOW - Picking a favorite bar on Maui is a bit like picking a favorite child–even if you think about it, it’s best not said aloud. Then again, biases are oft unavoidably evident, and yours truly is plainly partial to hyper-local hangouts like the gorgeous Green Leaf Sports Bar & Grill, where they’ve got everything I need: darts, pool, PBR and fried mandoo. (Oh, and karaoke in event I’ve loosened-up with enough liquid courage.) And though pau hana-happy me has never lasted long enough to partake in Greenleaf’s late night hours, every Wed. night boasts go-go dancers and DJ music, to boot. No cover. 10pm-close. Greenleaf Sports Bar & Grill (1088 L. Main St., Wailuku); 244-4888

OCTOBER 20, 2011 25

PICKS BY ANU YAGI

Can You Hallowbaloo?

Baths, Lapwing and DJ Packo. “Prancing around his equipment, he combined all manner of glitch beats with acoustic flourishes, gurgles and hiccups from crickets,” says Time Out Chicago magazine of Los Angeles’s Baths (aka Will Wiesenfeld). “Then he stepped up to the mic. Seriously, if the Strokes and Daedelus—sans the waistcoat—went into the studio together, this would be the result.”

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 28

Menehune Water Costume, Awesome!

B

oil thou first i’ the charmed pot, the fourth annual Hallowbaloo’s got events a-lot. Into the cauldron boil and bake, a Go! airplane ride with the friends you take to The Gathering Place, i.e. Oahu, and stay in an Aqua hotel room with a view. Like a hell-broth boil and bubble, 20,000 fellow costumed crazies makes for adventurous trouble... OK, I’ll stop with the bad Macbeth homage. Look, what I’m trying to get at is Hallowbaloo is the state’s biggest, baddest music and arts festival, taking over Honolulu for five days and four nights of “spirited sounds and masquerade mayhem.” If you’re feeling stuck-at-home with the outer-island mentality, I’ll ask you to please smash that mindset like a pumpkin. Here are a few reasons why:

1) Why the hell not? 2) If Maui really is no ka oi, we’d best be representin’–especially when Valley Isle-based artists like MOTHxp, The Freeradicals Projekt and DJ Boomshot are proudly in the lineup. 3) The rest of the entertainers include All The Apparatus, Baths, Black Square, Cherry Blossom Cabaret, Clones of the Queen, Dancers Unlimited, The Deadbeats, Doolin Rakes, Giinko Marischino, Guy Cruz, Hell Caminos, Kalalea Fire, Kings of Spade, Man Man, Medicine for the People, Mike Love, New Mastersounds, Paper Diamond, Professor Pandemonium, Sing The Body, Soul Revival Sound System, The Jump Offs, and Warpaint, plus DJs Delve, Eskae, Gaudi, Kittylee, Matt Ratt, Monkey, Mr. Nick, Nocturna, Packo and Revise. 4) Events are free or ridiculously reasonable ($10-$55). Plus, you can save $10 on go! Mokulele airfare if travel’s booked by Wed., Oct. 26 (be sure to use coupon number “KMJYGAB” and promotion code “HAL17”), as well as save 15 percent on select Aqua Hotels & Resorts reservations booked online (using the promotion code “hallowbaloo”). There’s more to do at Hallowbaloo than can be listed in this small space (we recommend you check out the events kick-ass website, hallowbaloo.com, to plan your custom adventure), so here are a few juicy day-by-day bits to get you started:

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 27 Hallowbaloo Electronica Pre-Party at NextDoor (43 N. Hotel St., 9pm doors) featuring

26

OCTOBER 20, 2011

Hallowbaloo Kick-Off Concert at The Waterfront at Aloha Tower Marketplace (1 Aloha Tower Dr., 8:30pm doors) featuring Clones of the Queen (9pm), Warpaint (10pm), and Paper Diamond with Kalalea Fire (12am). Hawaii’s Clones of the Queen “use[s] ethereal vocals, stormy percussion and heavily-effected guitar lines and synth loops [that] so well represents the cosmopolitan renaissance that is now in Honolulu.” Los Angeles’s Warpaint was recently named to the “BBC Sound of 2011 List: Fifteen of Music’s Most Exciting and Rising Stars.” And though new to to the scene, Paper Diamond’s already being compared to the likes of Diplo and Thievery Corporation; and will be joined onstage by Kalalea Fire, a Kauai-based fire dancing troupe.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 29 Hallowbaloo Street Festival (i.e., the main event, 5-10pm, Nu‘uanu Ave., free), with over 35 bands on six outdoor stages, ono grinds from the Art District’s top restaurants (street-service style!), eight outdoor bars (Hallowbaloo wristband required for purchase). Plus, “The Haunted Garage” at The Arts at Marks Garage (1159 Nu‘uanu Ave., 6-10pm), “a sensually terrifying, world-class holiday-arts attraction” and the premier fundraiser for the Hawaii Academy of Performing Arts; “The Octopus’s Garden,” an ocean-themed variety show by Cherry Blossom Cabaret; “Showdown in Chinatown,” a sixth-annual the-theme-says-it-all filmmakers’ festival and contest; live glass blowing and a massive costume contest. Maui’s own DJ Boomshot plays the Dance Cauldron (6pm, free) and MOTHxp takes to the Nuboo Stage (7:30pm, free). Plus, The Freeradicals Projekt get funky in the Loft Gallery & Lounge (wristband required; 10:15pm). Other interesting acts include Giinko Marischino (9:10pm, Pauahi St., free), a “dragbutoh-modern dance collective,” self described as a “nut and a bunch of cherries”; Man Man (8:40pm, The Loloweeny Stage, free), which evokes the likes of Frank Zappa and Tom Waits; plus Maui faves Hell Caminos (6pm, The Loloweeny Stage, free) and Kings of Spade (12am, The Venue, wristband required).

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 30 Hallowbaloo Kanikapila (3-6pm, Kaimana Beach Park, at the foot of Diamond Head, free) featuring Guy Cruz with Marc Pearlman and Medicine for The People.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 31 (More) Waikiki Madness (7pm-2am, Kalakaua Ave., free) on Halloween night. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1518p2

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WEDNESDAY 26 9pm

GET UP & JAM OR WATCH THE RISING STARS

1913 S Kihei Rd 808.891.8010 ACROSS FROM FOODLAND

28

OCTOBER 20, 2011

Da Kine Calendar BY ANU YAGI

BIG SHOWS SHEETAL GANDHI’S BAHU-BETI-BIWI (DAUGHTER-IN-LAW, DAUGHTER, WIFE) - Thu., Oct. 20. Gandhi’s magnetically rhythmic Bahu-Beti-Biwi wraps North Indian musical traditions into a contemporary exploration that glides between humorous portraiture and active resistance. A combination of evocative dance, stirring vocalization and percussive rhythms make for an outstanding performance. $12 / $25 / $35. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org TITA LIMA - Fri., Oct. 21. Experience the sounds and culture of Brazil with singer and composer Tita Lima. Her signature mix of sambasoul and trip-hop will carry you through the night. $35 standard / $45 premium. 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org FUTURE FUNK - Fri., Oct. 21. Mark D’Antonio and DJs Boomshot and (Best of Maui winner) Del Sol team-up to blend live conga with a 2x4 set mixing neo and classic funk from the ‘70s and ‘80s, creating “a new wave of electronic music” See This Week’s Picks for more. $10. 10pm. Stella Blues Cafe (1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei), 874-3779; stellablues.com INNAVISION WITH MR. 83 - Sat. Oct. 22. Cultura Vision Maui and Q103 FM presents InnaVision with Mr. 83, plus Jah Residentz, Rambo of Judah and MC Spence Jah. $20. 9pm doors / 10pm show. Oceans, 1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 891-2414; innavisionmusic.com

STAGE BOO!LESQUE - Fri., Oct. 21. The classy, sassy art of tease is at its finest with Honolulu’s famed Cherry Blossom Cabaret (CBC)–Hawaii’s premiere burlesque revue. See This Week’s Picks for more (plus, check out Sat.’s events for info about “Speakeasy,” with Maui’s own Kit Kat Club Cabaret and DJ Joey The Wrench). $15. 8pm or 9:30pm. ‘Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 242-6969; mauionstage.com / cherryblossomcabaret.com PROARTS PRESENTS “SYLVIA” - Final weekend! Thu., Fri., Sat. & Sun., Oct. 7-8, 1316 and 20-23. A pair of empty-nesters find their new dog’s a bone of contention. 7:30pm Thu.-Sat./3pm Sun. $20 adults/$15 students 18-years-old and younger/$15 kama‘aina nights (Oct. 8, 13 & 20). ProArts Playhouse, Azeka (Makai) Shopping Center, 1280 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 463-6550; proartspacific.com ‘ULALENA - Mon.-Fri. A nonpareil portal to Hawaiian history and kanaka maoli lore, what ‘Ulalena accomplishes–five nights a week for 12 years strong–is without a doubt the most powerful cultural education available for our visitors and ourselves. Rich with tradition while sublimely contemporary, it’s a clean, consistent and critical contribution by Hawaii about Hawaii, for the world. Mahalo ke akua! Starting at $24.50 keiki / $59.50 adults. VIP and dinner packages available. 6:30pm. Maui Theatre (formerly Maui Myth & Magic Theatre), Lahaina; 877-688-4800; mauitheatre.com

CIRQUE POLYNESIA - Mon.-Sat. It’s Cirque du Soleil-esque with a uniquely Polynesian twist. Enjoy amazing high-wire acts, aerial acrobatics, illusions, and mind-boggling contortionists. Starting at $62 (ask about deals for keiki and kama’aina). 6pm. Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa, 200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali; 667-4540; maui.hyatt.com / cirquepolynesia.com

TICKETS ON SALE FOURTH ANNUAL HALLOWBALOO MUSIC & ARTS FESTIVAL (HONOLULU) Oct. 27-30. More than 15,000 costumed crazies are showing up for four nights of spirited sounds and masquerade mayhem at Hawaii’s largest live music showcase—will you be one of them? The lineup of over 35 bands, DJs and performance groups include Warpaint, Paper Diamond, Baths, Man Man, The New Mastersounds, Gaudi, Hell Caminos, Mike Love, Kings of Spade, Cherry Blossom Cabaret, and Maui’s own Freeradicals Projekt, DJ Boomshot, and MOTHxp. Enter to win a flyaway vacation (plus view line-up or purchase tickets) by visiting hallowbaloo.com. MAUI 2011 FOAM MASSACRE - Oct., 2831. Power Up Crew and Boss Lady Entertainment present the first-ever Halloween theme foam party, hosted by Native 92.5’s Chisa and featuring bikini contests, fashion shows, Hawaii Island gogo dancers “The Twins” and Power Up Crew DJs. $15 advance / $20. Fri., Oct. 28: 10pm-close (21+). Oceans Bar & Grill, 1819 S. Kihei Rd., 891-2414. Sat., Oct. 29: 5-9pm (teen rager) / 10pm-close (21+). LuLu’s Kihei, 1945 S. Kihei Rd.; 879-9944. Mon., Oct. 31: 10pm-close (21+). LuLu’s Lahaina, Lahaina Cannery Mall; 661-0808 ONE NIGHT ONLY: AN INTIMATE EVENING WITH BRIAN MCKNIGHT - Fri., Nov. 4. Multi-platinum singer-songwriter, arranger, producer and R&B musician Brian McKnight performs live. Brian’s making this a family affair, and is joined by his brother Claude McKnight (of Take 6) and his sons BJ and Niko (aka BRKN ROBTZ). $45 / $55 / $65. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org SAVE THE DATE: 3RD ANNUAL HANA LIMU FESTIVAL - Sat., Nov. 5. This festival promotes a deeper understanding of native limu—not only as an ‘ono and nutritious part of the traditional Hawaiian diet, but for its vital importance to the health of the nearshore ecosystem. This fun event features talk story sessions with honored kupuna, limu identification and sampling, limu planting, cooking demos, keiki games, Digital Bus interactive science activities, a silent auction, live music, mean kine grinds and artisan booths. Sponsored by Na Mamo O Mu’olea. Free. 10am-3:30pm. Kapueokahi (Hana Bay), Hana; 269-2514 MAUI MOVIE PREMIERE: TOM VENDETTI’S “WHEN THE MOUNTAIN CALLS” AND A PERFORMANCE OF “IN LOVE WITH THE MYSTERY” BY ANN MORTIFEE AND PAUL HORN - Sat., Nov. 5. Local filmmaker Dr. Tom Vendetti shares his

serendipitous story of three decades of traveling to Tibet. From learning of Bhutan’s belief in Gross National Happiness being inextricably tied to ecological and cultural preservation, to interviewing the Dalai Lama, the film is full of snapshots that are sure to inspire. Further, “the father of New Age music” Paul Horn performs, as will his wife, authoress Ann Mortifee, who will also share from her book “In Love With The Mystery.” For more information, visit whenthemontaincalls.com and annmorfitee.comin-lovewith-the-mystery. $25. 7-9pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 2427469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org SAVE THE DATE: DINE OUT FOR HOSPICE MAUI - Tue, Nov. 15. Hospice Maui provides quality, compassionate care for the terminally ill, and peace of mind for their families. Help support their mission and celebrate their 30th anniversary by dining-out at participating restaurants on Nov. 15, from which a portion of proceeds will benefit Hospice Maui. For more information, call 244-5555 or visit hospicemaui.org. Participating restaurants by region: Central Maui >>> Bistro Casanova (dinner), Da Kitchen (dinner), Ruby’s Diner (all meals), McDonald’s Dairy Rd. (dinner), McDonalds Puunene Ave. (dinner). Upcountry Maui >>> Market Fresh Bistro, (breakfast and lunch), Tribe (lunch), Polli’s Mexican Restaurant (lunch and dinner), Casanova (dinner), Kula Lodge (dinner). South Maui >>> Sarento’s on the Beach (breakfast), Mala Wailea at Wailea Marriott (lunch and dinner), Mulligan’s on the Blue (dinner), Stella Blues Cafe (dinner). West Maui >>> Honu Seafood and Pizza (lunch and dinner), Mala Ocean Tavern (lunch and dinner), Merriman’s (dinner). THE BOUNCING SOULS AND YOUTH BRIGADE - Thu., Nov. 17. Jersey’s The Bouncing Souls and Cali’s Youth Brigade visit Maui for the first time, joined by Maui’s own White Rose and Minor Setback. 7:30pm doors. $20 advance / $25 door. 7:30pm. Oceans Beach Bar & Grill, 1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 891-2414 RALPHIE MAY - Sat., Nov. 19. Male comedienne Ralphie May is one of the biggest comics in the country—literally. Of NBC’s “Last Comic Standing” fame, he also recently finished shooting a new movie titled “The Best and Brightest” which also stars Neil Patrick Harris and Amy Sedaris. 8pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 2427469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org CHRIS ISAAK - Thu., Dec. 1. As part of his Beyond the Sun tour, catch Chris Isaak for a one-night only performance on Maui. Tunefully and artfully exploring the good, the bad and the ugly of love and other matters of profound human interest, Chris reaffirms his passion for the life he leads and has an impressive recording career to prove it. $45 / $55 / $65 / $85. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org WALKING IN A WILLIE WONDERLAND Sat., Dec. 3. Expect the unexpected as Willie K’s return to this popular holiday concert will be filled like a Christmas stocking–full of old favorites and new arrangements, too. Get into

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

10/20

10/21

10/22

10/23

10/24 - 10/26

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

Rock & Roll Night w/ DJ Diesel Dave, 9pm; no cover

NFL / Simma Down Nightclub w/ DJ JamnJ & DJ Iggy, 10pm; no cover

MON - NFL / Open Mic Jam Sesh w/ host Terri Garrison, 9pm; no cover / TUE Country Music, 9pm / WED - Maui Makani Classic Windsurfing Championships Kickoff Party w/ DJ Kollision & DJ Caveman, 5pm-12:30am; no cover

Whatever You Want w/ DJ AstroRaph, 10pm

Sunrise Saturdaze w/ DJ Decka, 10pm

ULTRA w/ DJ CIA, 10pm

MON – Cocktails For A Cause , 8pm ; Super Nova feat. Indio & Gibran, 9pm / TUE – Dirty House Tuesdays w/ DJ La Rage / WED – Red Carpet Movie Night , 7:30pm; Maui’s HI-5 Night (S.I.N.) w/ DJs Del Sol & CIA, 10pm

Dorfmisikanten 6-11pm; no cover

Dorfmisikanten 6-11pm; no cover

Live Music & Dancing

Live Music & Dancing

Fangtasia feat. DJs Monks, Odub, Dmize and MC Cronick, 10pm; $5

Speakeasy w/ Cherry Blossom Cabaret, Kit Kat Club Cabaret & DJ Joey The Wrench, 10pm; $10

ALE HOUSE

Clay Mortensen 5-8pm / Nightclub w/ DJ Jamn J 9pm; no cover

Braddah Francis 4-8pm / Nightclub w/ DJ LX & Emcee Jay-J, 10pm; $10

AMBROSIA

Jamie Gallo, 7pm / Old Skool Thursdays w/ DJ Del Sol, 10pm

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

BRIGIT & BERNARD’S GARDEN CAFE 355 Hoohana St., Kahului - 877-6000

CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY 500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului - 873-6555

CASANOVA

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

TUE - Maui Tribe presents Willie K and The Warehouse Blues Band, 9pm; $10 / WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/ DJ Blast & Chilltown, 10pm; $10

CHARLEY’S

Wavetrain feat. Mark Johnstone 10pm; no cover

The Kihei Cowboys 9pm; $5

Harley Dale Brown & Friends 9:30pm; $5

NFL Sunday Ticket

COOL CAT CAFE

Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter D, 7:30-10pm / TUE - Live Jazz, 7-10pm / WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm

DIAMONDS ICE BAR

Jordan & Wolf 10pm; no cover

Roast 10pm; no cover

Bad Kitty 10pm; no cover

Live Music 10pm; no cover

MON - Gomega / TUE - Rampage / WED Juke Box Party (all sets 10pm; no cover)

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB

Quiz Night 8pm; no cover

Jordan & Wolf 10pm; no cover

Dance Party 10pm; no cover

Sebrina Barron 10pm; no cover

MON – Juke Box Party / TUE - Daniel of Off Tomorrow / WED - Sebrina Barron (all sets 10pm; no cover)

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR

Karoke / Free Pool Night

Karaoke / Darts

Karaoke & Darts

NFL / Karaoke / Darts

MON - NFL / WED - Go Go Dancers & DJ Music, 10pm-close; no cover

Rampage 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Str8 Viben 9pm-close; no cover

NFL / Karaoke Industry Night 8pm-close; no cover

MON - NFL / Karaoke, 8pm-close / TUE - Junior Lacuesta WED - Rick Glencross & Open Mic Night

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

the holiday spirit with this charismatic and versatile Native Hawaiian entertainer where he’ll share his extensive vocal range and guitar talents with family and friends. $12, $28, $37. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org HERITAGE FILM FESTIVAL: KAHO’OLAWE ALOHA ‘AINA - Sun., Dec. 4. Heritage films presents three short films about Kaho’olawe and its historic struggles, beginning with the earliest days of the movement to stop bombings on the island. After the screening, audience members will have the chance to meet the talented people who’ve helped bring these stories to the public during a Q&A session. $10. 3 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org HOLIDAY POPS! WITH MAUI POPS ORCHESTRA - Sun., Dec. 4. Special guest artist Amy Hanaiali’i Gilliom and Music Director James Durham have programmed an outstanding variety of music for this annual concert tradition; including classical and holiday favorites plus Amy’s best-loved songs. $10, $25, $35, $45. 3:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org BOYZ II MEN - Sat, Dec. 10. Mowtown Philly back again! Hey, am I the only one who thought the lyrics “ABC BBD” was about bebadeeze (not Bel Biv DeVoe)? Auwe, eh? I’m some babooze! Anyway, yeah. Boyz II Men is coming to Maui. Seriously. So prepare fo’ da flashbacks! $45 / $60 / $75. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org STEVE MILLER BAND & DAVE MASON Sun., Dec. 11. Calling all jokers, smokers and midnight tokers! $55 / $65 / $85 / $125. 7

Open Mic Night, 7:3010pm; no cover (all ages) Karaoke

Lucky Tonuge 8-11pm Karaoke

p.m. A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org G E N E R A T I O N S : K E K U H I KEALI‘IKANAKA‘OLE - Sat., Dec. 17. A multitalented tita, Kekuhi’s music demonstrates what it means to be Hawaiian today. Making this special night a family affair, Kekuhi’s mother and son will join her on-stage for this intimate concert. $30. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org COMEDIAN BILL MAHER - Sun., Jan. 1. Who cares if atheists ain’t got no songs? We’ve got Bill Maher! Tickets go on sale Sat., Oct. 22 at 10am. $35.50 / $45.50 / $65.50 / $85.50. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org

FOODIE MAUI CULINARY ACADEMY’S 15TH ANNUAL NOBLE CHEF “A FOOD AFFAIR” Sat., Oct. 22. A prestigious, mentorship-aligned fundraising gala which highlights the University of Hawaii Maui College’s culinary student and faculty talents. Many of Maui’s celebrity chefs will present a specially created appetizer during the reception, with a student-prepared multicourse sit-down dinner and dessert extravaganza to follow. $150 each / $2,500-$5,000 sponsorship opportunities available. 5:30pm reception / 7pm dinner / 8:30pm dessert extravaganza. Fairmont Kea Lani, 4100 Wailea Alanui Dr., Wailea; 984-3261; fornwall@hawaii.edu BRIGIT & BERNARD’S 14TH ANNUAL OKTOBERFEST - Maui’s best and most authentic Oktoberfest celebration, every Fri. & Sat. in Oct. Features entertainment by oompah band

Karaoke

Dofmisikanten. Call for reservations. 6-11pm. Brigit & Bernard’s Garden Cafe, 335 Hoohana Street, Kahului; 877-6000 LEARN HOW TO GROW YOUR OWN CLEAN, NUTRIENT DENSE FOOD - Wed., Oct. 26. Instructor Mike Zelko has been an agriculturist in Hawaii for over 30 years, and this week continues a five-class course (Wed., Sept. 28 Oct. 26) in growing your own food. Mike brings farm humor to each class with his practical and entertaining approach, and this week’s lesson focuses on how to plant for year-round harvest and delicious preparations for your hard-earned produce. Bring your specific questions and have them answered about your land or crop. $20 per class / $30 per couple. 4-6pm. Hali’imaile Community Garden, Aoiki St., Hali’imaile; 270-3123; haliimailegarden.weebly.com SLOW FOODS TASTE EDUCATION: DINNER PARTY - Wed, Oct. 26. Ralph Giles and Daniel J Southmayd, owners of Catering From Soup to Nuts, walk you through how to plan the perfect dinner party. These catering experts provide practical advice from meal planning to table settings to hosting etiquette and more. Individual sessions are $15, series of 9 is $125. 6-7:30 p.m. Class Act, 310 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 872-3310

WED - Karaoke

nating stigma, and helping those at risk of or affected by suicide. Artwork must be original, not too busy or crowded, created on a white 8 1/2 x 11, unlined paper, contain the student’s contact information and include an artist statement. Winners will receive a gift certificate to Queen Ka’ahumanu Center (1st prize = $250; 2nd prize = $100; 3rd prize = $50). Deadline for submittals: Oct. 24, 2011 (postmarked by 4:30pm). Mail entries to: Kamehameha Schools Maui, High School Office, Attention: Suicide Prevention Logo, 270 ‘A’apueo Parkway, Pukalani, HI 96768. For more information, e-mail suicidepreventionmaui@hotmail.com. SIGN-UP FOR MAUI OPEN STUDIOS 2012 - Wanna show off your cool artistic talents? Do it during Maui Open Studios 2012, an event where artists and artisans open up their exhibition spaces to show and sell their work to the public. Detailed guidebooks are available throughout the duration of the event whereby visitors design their own self-guided tours based on the artists and work that interests them most. Each weekend in Feb. features artists in different areas on Maui—from West, Central and South, North and Upcountry, and East. Want in on the action? The deadline for artists, artisans, advertisers and sponsors to register is Nov. 1, 2011. FREE to the public. 415-450-1307; mauiopenstudios.com

ANNOUNCEMENTS

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 20

PREVENT SUICIDE MAUI COUNTY TASK FORCE NAME & LOGO CONTEST - Calling all Maui County high school students: the Prevent Suicide Maui County Task Force needs your help in creating a new name and designing a logo. The mission of The Force is to prevent suicide by raising awareness, elimi-

FREE SCREENING: “PLAYING FOR CHANGE: PEACE THROUGH MUSIC” - The story of hope, struggle and the remarkable power of music. Sponsored by the University of Hawaii Maui College Peace Club. Free. 6pm. UHMC, Ka Lama 103, 310 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului PLANTATION DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN - The Lahaina Restoration Foundation’s third

OCTOBER 20, 2011 29

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

10/20

10/21

10/22

10/23

10/24 - 10/26

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

JAVA JAZZ

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

Tracy Stiles 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover

MON - The Chris & Mary Jane Xperiment / TUE - Ras Shaggai / WED - Rick Glencross

KAHALE’S

Bad Kitty, 7pm

Kenny Roberts, 7pm

Eight Track Players, 7pm

The Kihei Cowboys, 7pm

MON - Kawika / TUE - Da Hawaiians / WED - Gina Martinelli (all sets 7pm)

1810 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo 8-10pm; no cover

1810 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON through WED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30pm / DJ Kamikaze, 10pm-close

MON - NFL / TUE Country Music & Dancing w/ Rick Scanlan, 7-11m / WED Sebrina Barron 7-9pm; Ladies’ Night w/ DJ La Rage, 10pm-close

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

Fulton Tashombe & The Maui Jazz All-Stars, 7-10pm

LONGHI’S LAHAINA 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

Salsa Night w/ Netto & Barbara Peraza, 8-11pm / DJ Nexus 11pm-close

Requesola w/ Rob & Ron, 6:30-9:30pm / DJ Nexus 10pm-close

Camp Savage 7:30-9:30pm / DJ AstroRaph, 10pm-close

Howard Ahia 6-8pm; no cover

Marvin Tevaga, 6-9pm; no cover / Stiletto Mafia Party feat. DJ Kurt Kaiser 9:30pm-2am; $10

STATUS hosted by Philly Blunt & feat. All Access Ent.’s DJ Money Mike, 10pm; $10

Ranga Pae

Ranga Pae

Ranga Pae

Phil & Angie Benoit

Tom Conway

Murray Thorne, 7-9pm / Pub Quiz Superfreakout w/ Trish “The Dish” Smith 9:30pm-12am

Tyler Bush 6:30-8:30pm

SLAM feat. David Choy & Clay Mortensen 7-10pm; no cover

The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley 6:30-9:30pm

MON - Lily Meola, 6:30-8:30pm / TUE Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks, 7-8pm / WED - Murray Thorne, 7-9pm

Mauimusicmecca presents Guest DJ 10pm; no cover

Allyance Ent. & Kokonuts Ent. presents Rhythms of the Islands 808 feat. Molo Ty, Sione Liti, Inuj Iongi & T-Rose

Innavision 10pm

NFL

MON - NFL / TUE - Viva La Rumba, 7-9pm / WED - Raveolution, 10pm

Jordan 6-9pm

Dress Like a Pirate Night

SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

LULU’S KIHEI

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

LULU’S LAHAINA

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

MERRIMAN’S

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414

SHARKY’S

41 E. Lipa St., Kihei - 874-5115

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

annual Lahaina Plantation Days kicks off with a screening of Great Grandfather’s Drum. See This Week’s Picks for more. $3 general / free for keiki five-years-old and younger / $5 three-day pass. 6:30-8:30pm. Pioneer Mill Co. smokestack (275 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina); 6613262; lahainarestoration.org WAVETRAIN #120 - Every Thu. at Charley’s, Grammy nominee Mark Johnstone (keys, guitar), David Wolf (bass), and Paul Marchetti (drums) drench the North Shore in dirty modern electro funk. And yeah, “#120” means they’ve done it 120 times without missing a beat. No cover. 10pm. Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon, 142 Hana Hwy., Paia; charleysmaui.com; 579-8085

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 21 3RD ANNUAL LAHAINA PLANTATION DAYS CONTINUE - Lahaina Restoration Foundation’s signature event, paying tribute to West Maui’s rich plantation heritage with historical displays and exhibits, cultural areas, restaurant food booths, beer tent, kid zone and entertainment by Hawaii’s popular entertainers. Continues on Sat., Oct. 22. (PS: Tonight, as with every Fri. night, you can take a candlelit tour of the historic Baldwin home on Front St. or enjoy the Wo Hing Temple Museum, which stays open late.) $3 general / free for keiki five-years-old and younger / $5 three-day pass. 5-10pm. Pioneer Mill Co. smokestack (275 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina); 661-3262; lahainarestoration.org STILETTO MAFIA - Put on your you-knowwhat pumps for a theme party featuring DJ Kurt

30

OCTOBER 20, 2011

Kaiser. $10. 10pm-close. LuLu’s Lahaina, Lahaina Cannery Mall, Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina; 661-0808 FANGTASIA - Vampires have never been cooler, thanks to “Twilight” (wait, WTF?). Show off your sharpened incisors at this blood bash featuring DJs Monks, Odub, Dmize and MC Cronick, plus Ms. Savage and the foxiest gogo dancers ‘round town. $5. 10pm. Casanova, 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao; 572-0220; casanovamaui.com ROASTED - You know, a roast, like on TV or your dad’s boss (or whomever). But in this case, it’s Diamonds Ice Bar’s and Dog & Duck’s owner, Mick. No cover. 10pm. Diamonds Ice Bar & Grill, 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 874-9299

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 22 SENIOR CITIZEN HEALTH AND WELLNESS FAIR - The County of Maui Office on Aging in cooperation with MEO hosts its annual Maui County Senior Citizen health fair, featuring entertainment and education, plus fun and fellowship for senior citizens, their families and friends. 8 a.m.-12 p.m. War Memorial Stadium, 211 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului; 249-2970 BURLESQUE WORKSHOP: BURLY-Q BASICS WITH HONOLULU’S CHERRY BLOSSOM CABARET - Learn glove and stocking peels, fan dance basics, boa tricks, classic bump n’ grind, character building and more. Advanced (online) registration required. Absolutely no walk-ins allowed. $50. 2:30-4:30 p.m. Body Alive Yoga & Movement Studio, 1995 Main St.,

MON - All Access DJs, 10pm / TUE - “Lahaina Idol” Karaoke w/ Troy, 9pm12am / WED - Kenny Roberts, 5-8pm (all no cover) Ranga Pae

TUE - David Choy / WED - Ranga Pae TUE - Open Mic Night

MON - Eat & Place Day Dance Dance Extreme Competition, 7pm / TUE - Karaoke w/ DJ Jay / WED - Western Night & BBQ Championship

second floor, Wailuku; bodyaliveyoga.com TREASURES BENEATH THE RAINBOW - A benefit yard sale for Maui Ki-Aikido, a 501(c) (3). See This Week’s Picks for more. 8am-1pm, Shun-shin-kan Dojo (194 Market St., Wailuku); 244-5165; mauiaikido.com HAVE COFFEE WITH REP. MAZIE HIRONO - Hear Rep. Hirono’s take on what’s up with Washington DC and let her know your ideas and concerns. Free. 2pm at Ali’i Kula Lavender Farm, 1100 Waipoli Rd., Kula. 4:30pm at Da Kitchen, 425 Koloa St., Kahului. STR8 VIBEN - Molokai’s own Str8 Viben is back at the LAB, concocting local-style reggae dance tunes, straight up. No cover. 9pm. Haui’s Life’s A Beach, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 891-8010 HONOLULU’S CHERRY BLOSSOM CABARET PRESENTS SPEAKEASY MAUI - Sat., Oct. 22. Featuring Cherry Blossom Cabaret, Hawaii’s premiere burlesque revue, and Maui’s finest, Kit Kat Cabaret, plus DJ Joey The Wrench. $10 (before 10pm) / $15 (after 10pm). Casanova, 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao; 572-0220; casanovamaui.com STAND UP COMEDY NIGHT - Laugh your ass off (which we mean to say there’s adult humor) to local comics. $10. 10pm. Stella Blues Cafe 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 874-3779; stellablues.com

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 23 XTERRA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS - After 17 years in Wailea, this bad-ass triathlon (rumor mill: Lance Armstrong’s racing!) is moving to the

Kapalua trails. Presented by the Maui Visitiors Bureau, Paul Mitchell and Hawaiian Airlines. (PS: Look for Anu Yagi’s third annual report in next week’s Kula Kid :) ANOTHER #RAPTUREFAIL BY HAROLD CAMPING / HAWAII SECULAR SOCIETY’S MAUI CHAPTER’S MONTHLY MEETING Crazy Harold Camping’s convinced the world’s ending today (note: all his previous predictions, most recently this May, have been quite obviously wrong). With some small irony it’s also the day of the Maui Chapter of the Hawaii Secular Society’s regular monthly meeting. So if you find yourself left behind, why not join the crew? And in the absolutely likely event the world does not end, the group will discuss snorkel cleanups and other charitable activities. Free. 4:15pm. Wow-Wee Maui Kava Bar, Dairy Rd., Kahului; 946-7811

MONDAY, OCTOBER, 24 SUPER CHARGE YOUR MANIFESTING ABILITIES - Kathy Williams (note: not comedian Kat Williams) leads a lecture. 6:30-8pm. Soul Space Maui Renewal Center, 16 S. Market St., Wailuku; soulspacemaui.com

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 25 OCEAN AWARENESS TRAINING - A unique opportunity to learn about blue whales and sperm whales, both of which are sighted within the Hawaiian Islands’ waters. The lecture is led by cetacean behavior research specialist, Sarah Mesnick, the Science Liason for NOAA South-

PLAY LOUD. AT THE SUNDAY HAPPY HOUR THAT ROCKS.

HARD ROCK CAFE MAUI - THE PLACE TO BE!

SUNDAYS WITH GRAMMY AWARD WINNING ARTIST WILLIE K EVERY SUNDAY 11-3

705&% #&45 %BODF 'MPPS JO .BVJ VOTED BEST -BUF /JHIU JO .BVJ VOTED BEST )BQQZ )PVS JO .BVJ

$3 domestic drafts $4 domestic bottles $4 premium well drinks $5 wines

BISTRO CASANOVA

CASANOVA Open Mon-Tue 7:30am-9:30pm; Wed-Sat 7:30am-2am; Sun 8am-9:30pm

.BLBXBP "WFOVF t .BLBXBP (808) 572-0220

Open Monday -Saturday 11 am - 9:30 pm

-POP "WFOVF t ,BIVMVJ (808) 873-3650

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

CASANOVA’S FAMOUS LADIES NIGHT

BACK TO THE FUTURE W/ DJ BLAST & CHILLTOWN MUSIC STARTS @ 10PM + $10 COVER

FRIDAY OCTOBER 21ST

HAPPY HOUR DRINK SPECIALS DURING THE SHOW KAMA’AINA SPECIALS ALL DAY!

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA’S THE AWARDS “BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI”

SHOW STARTS @ 10PM + $5 COVER

EDE PRESENTS

FANGTASIA DJ MONKS+DJ ODUB+DJ DMIZE MC CRONICK + MS.SAVAGE FOXIEST GO GO DANCERS

SATURDAY OCTOBER 22ND

SPEAKEASYCHERRY BLOSSOM CABARET+ KIT KAT CLUB CABARET+ DJ JOEY THE WRENCH SHOW STARTS @ 10PM + $10 COVER BEFORE 11PM

TUESDAYS IN OCTOBER

MUSIC STARTS @ 9PM + $10 COVER

MAUI TRIBE PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS

WILLIE K + WAREHOUSE BLUES BAND MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING + DINE & DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS CALL 808.572.0220 LOG ON AT WWW.CASANOVAMAUI.COM

OCTOBER 20, 2011 31

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

10/20

10/21

10/22

10/23

10/24 - 10/26

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

DJ Slackin 10pm-close; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm-close; no cover

DJ LX 10pm-close; no cover

Live Music 9pm-12am; no cover

Live Music 9pm-12am; no cover

Ladies’ Night 7pm-close; no cover

Cane Fire 8:30-11:30pm; no cover

Free Pool Day

Ah Tim

Future Funk DJ Boomshot & DJ Del Sol w/ Mark D’Antonio 10pm; $10

Stand Up Comedy Night 10pm; $10

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9:15pm-12am; no cover

Maui Underground 9pm-1am; $3

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover

The Edge 9pm

Mishka & Cane Fire 10pm

Karaoke

Karaoke

Industry Night 9pm-2am; no cover Next Level Entertainment 10pm

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

WATERCRESS

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9350

west Fisheries Science Center’s Proteced Resources Division. Free. 6-8pm. Lahaina Civic Center, 1840 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina; 8792818 ext. 22; hawaiihumpbackwhale.noaa.gov

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 26 THE MANKIND PROJECT - Men, women, children, kupuna, kanaka, and kamali’i are are invited to celebrate the initiation of the most recent group of Maui men to attend Hawaii’s New Warrior Training Adventure, and learn about the benefits that this experience has provided for these men, their families, and their community. The ManKind Project is an international nonprofit education and training organization, supporting over 1,000 men’s groups in 10 countries. Potluck and refreshments will be provided. (PS: Striving for a zero trash event, please bring your own cups, plates and utensils.) Free. 6:30pm. Haiku Community Center, Hana Hwy., Haiku; mauimkp.com

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI

COOL CAT CAFE - Every Thu., Barefoot Minded; Every Fri. & Sat. Dave Caroll; Every Sun., Erin Smith & Friends; Every Mon., Peter D; Every Tue., Live Jazz; Every Wed., Jordan Cuddy. (All sets 7:30-10pm.) Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina, 667-0908 DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Duke’s Beach House - Every Mon., Tue. & Wed., Brian 3-5pm; Wed., Alika & Ron 6-8:30pm; Thu., Damien 3-5pm; Thu., Garrett & Peter 6-8:30pm; Fri., Garrett 3-5pm; Every Fri. & Sat., Kulwewa 6-8:30pm; Every Sun. & Sat., Tim 3-5pm; Sun., Tim & Miles 6-8:30pm; Tue., Alika & Edee 6-8:30pm; Tue., Tim & Edee 6-8:30pm; Fri., Henry Kapono 5-7pm. 130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina, 662-2900 HULA GRILL - Wed., Alika 1:30-3:30pm; Wed., Peter DeAquino 4-6pm; Every Tue. & Wed., Ernest Pua’a & Friends 6:30-9pm; Thu., Alika 11am-1pm; Thu., Ernest Pua’a 1:303:30pm; Every Mon. & Thu., Armadillo 4-6pm; Thu., Kulwewa 6-9pm; Every Mon., Fri. & Sat., Kawika Lum Ho 1:30-3:30pm; Every Fri. & Sat., 1810 4-6pm; Fri., Kawika, Roy & Ivan 6:309pm; Sat., Wili Pohaku 6:30-9pm; Every Sun. & Tue., Kawika Lum Ho 11am-1pm; Sun., Ron & Ikaika 1:30-3:30pm; Sun., Derick Sebastian Trio 6-9pm; Mon., Derick Sebastian & Josh Kahula

32

OCTOBER 20, 2011

Kanoa 10pm-close; no cover

MON - DJ Blast / TUE - DJ LX / WED Ladies’ Night w/ The ADD Twins (All sets 10pm - close; no cover)

NFL BBQ

MON - Mahalo Monday Industry Night, 10pm-close / TUE - Tennis League Night MON - Tom Cherry & Mike Finkewiecz, 4-6pm / TUE - Tom Conway, 4-6pm / WED - Randall Rospond, 4-6pm / SLAM feat. David Choy & Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm

Gina Martinelli Band 7pm

MON - Audiohead, 7pm / WED - Blues Night w/ House Shakers, 7pm

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

Undone w/ Ross Q 9:30pm-2am; $10

Spun Out w/ DJ Calcul8 9pm-2am; $10

Closed

MON through WED - Closed

Kua Aina 10pm

College Football

NFL

MON - NFL / TUE - Free Karaoke, 9pm / WED Free Karaoke, 9pm

6:30-9pm; Tue., Jarrett Roback 1:30-3:30pm; Tue., Damon & Danyel Alana 4-6pm; Every Mon., Wed. & Fri., Ernest Pua’a 11am-1pm. Whaler’s Village, 2435 Kaanapali Pwy., Bldg P, Lahaina, 667-6636 LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Every Thu., Jarrett & Wilson; Every Fri., DJ & Friends, Every Sat., JD & Harry; Sun., Merv Oana (all sets 3-5pm). Whaler’s Village, 2435 Kaanapali Pkwy. Bldg. J, Ka’anapali, 661-4495 LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Every Thu., Howard Ahia 6-8pm; Fri., Marvin Tevaga 6-9pm; Every Tue, “Lahaina Idol” Karaoke w/ Troy 9pm; Every Wed, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina, 661-0808 PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Thu., Greg di Piazza feat. Alana Cini 5:30-8:30pm; Tue., Ah-Tim Elenicki 5:30-8:30pm; Wed, JD on the Rocks 5-8pm. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina; 661-3636 R.B. BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Every Sun., Live jazz. 4465 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina; 669-8889 SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT - Every Tue. & Fri., Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm; Every Sun. & Thu., Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Sat., Coehlo Morrison 7-9pm; Every Mon. & Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm. 5900 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Napili, 669-1500 VILLAGE CAFE & SWEET SHOPPE - Fri., Glenn Kakagawa and Sarah Cravalho 5:308:30pm. 2000 Village Rd., Lahaina, 665-1122

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Every Thu., Jamie Gallo 7pm; Every Mon., Cocktails for a Cause (this week benefits Imua Family Services) 8pm + Super Nova feat. Indio & Gibran 9pm; Every Tue., “Glee” on the big screen 7pm; Every Wed, Red Carpet Movie Night [October is Thriller Month! This week: “Silence of the Lambs” (1991)] 7:30pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-1011 CAPISCHE? - Every Fri. & Sat., Mark Johnstone 7-10pm. 555 Kaukahi St., Kihei, 879-2224 HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Every Thu., Junior Lacuesta 4-8pm; Every Fri., Tue. & Wed, Rick Glencross 4-8pm; Every Sat., Ryan Robinson 4-8pm; Every Sun. & Mon., Karaoke 8pm; Every Wed, Open Mic Night 9pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., #E, Kihei, 874-1250 KAI WAIEA - Thu., Mon. & Sun., Wolf; Fri., Ryan Robinson; Sat., Kanoa; Mon., Tom Con-

way; Wed, Francois (all sets 6-8:30pm). 3750 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1955 LULU’S KIHEI - Every Thu., Netto & Barbara Peraza 8-11pm; Every Fri., Ron & Rob 6:309:30pm; Every Sat., Camp Savage 7:309:30pm; Every Sun., Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30pm; Every Tue., Ric Scanlan 7-11pm; Every Wed, Sebrina Barron, 7-9pm. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 879-9944 MONSOON INDIA - Every Sat., Romantic Violin & Guitar Duets by Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso 6:30-8:30pm; Mon., Louise Lambert 6-9pm; Every Tue., Hula Honeys 5:30-8:30pm. 760 S. Kihei Rd., 875-6666 MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Every Thu., Murray Thorne 7-9pm; Fri., Tyler Bush 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, SLAM feat. David Choy & Clay Mortensen 7-10pm; Every Sun., The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley 6:30-9:30pm; Mon., Lily Meola 6:30-8:30pm; Tue., Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks 7-8pm; Wed, Willie K 7-9pm. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131 SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Every Thu., Erin Smith; Every Fri., Randall Rospond; Every Sat., Tom Conway; Every Sun., Viva La Rumba; Every Mon., Kanoa; Every Tue., Sebrina Barron; Every Wed, Mark Johnstone. (all sets 4-6pm.) Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 874-6444 STELLA BLUES CAFE - Every Thu., AhTim 4-6pm; Every Mon., Tom Cherry & Mike Finkeiwicz 4-6pm; Every Tue., Tom Conway 4-6pm; Every Wed, Randall Rospond 4-6pm / SLAM feat. David Choy and Clay Mortensen 7-10pm. 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei, 874-3779 THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Every Sun., Gina Martinelli Band 7pm; Every Mon., Audiohead 7pm; Every Wed, Blues Night w/ House Shakers 7pm. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 879-3133 TRADEWINDS POOLSIDE CAFE - Every Thu., Island Favorites with Kawika Lum Ho; Every Fri., Girls Nite Out with Gina Martinelli; Every Sat., Classic Rock with Dominic; Every Sun., Ron Shadian & Friends; Every Mon., Bobby Ingram & Friends; Every Tue., Mike and Mark; Every Wed, Steve Sargenti. (all sets 6-9pm.) 2259 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-8860

CENTRAL MAUI ALE HOUSE - Thu., Clay Mortensen 5-8pm. Every Fri., Braddah Francis 4-8pm; Every Mon.,

Terri Garrison 4-7pm, Open Mic Night with Terri Garrison 9pm; Every Tue., Braddah Francis 4-7pm. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877-9001

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CAFE DES AMIS - Every Thu., Joe Conte plays The Chapman Stick; Every Sat., live Argentinian music; Every Wed, The Stone Violets 6:30-8:30pm. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-6323

Must Present Hawaii I.D.

OCTOBER 20, 2011 33

FILM

Cheap Scares The Thing Was Remade Again?! BY BARRY WURST II

The Thing

★★★★★

Rated R/130 Minutes

R

emakes tend to be hit and mostly miss but when filmmakers re-do truly great horror films, they’re asking for trouble. Few cared when The Amityville Horror and When a Stranger Calls were given updates; since the originals were so bad, any improvements would be a step up. However, when Let The Right One In was turned into the neutered Let Me In last year, most horror fans didn’t bother to show up and gave the movie the verbal dirty lickings it deserved. Now, someone at Universal Studios has decided to remake John Carpenter’s The Thing, which was itself a remake of 1951’s The Thing from Another World. Carpenter’s film is still frightening and should have been left alone. That said, this prequel (set days before and leading up to the opening moments of the previous film) is an adequate monster movie, though it in no way equals or surpasses Carpenter’s 1982 classic. Kate Lloyd (Mary Elisabeth Winstead) is a

seasoned scientist who is asked to join an expedition to Antarctica, where she will join a Norwegian crew in unearthing an alien spacecraft. The discovery and thawing of a frozen creature puts Kate in survival mode, as she not only fends off a hideous monster with a flame thrower but must decide which of the mostly male crew could possibly be the alien in disguise. Everything here suffers from comparison with the earlier film. First time director Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. ably helms a demanding, f/x-heavy film but lacks any sense of style. The special effects, a mix of practical make-up and extensive CGI, provide some shocking and nauseating moments but in no way do they ever seem as real and life-like as Rob Bottin’s legendary creatures from the prior film. Winstead unwisely chose to underplay her role, when a more intense, expressive performance would have made a bigger im-

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34

OCTOBER 20, 2011

pression. In her first major starring role, she misses an opportunity to give a real break out turn, though everyone else in the cast is

Show us The Thing and we’ll show you ours.

equally underwhelming. The characters in the Carpenter film also lacked real development, but the performances by veteran actors like Kurt Russell, Wilford Brimley and Richard Masur were memorably powerful and emotionally charged. Here, the cast has the pedigree and performance level appropriate for a straightto-DVD movie. Though a prequel, it follows the structure of both previous Things pretty closely, with

only the big climax offering welcome variety. Instead of remixing Carpenter’s The Thing, the grand finale branches out and borrows scenes from The X-Files: Fight the Future, Alien and From Beyond. The end credits sequence, which ties this movie together with Carpenter’s, is staged in such a mediocre way that it feels like a last-minute, tacked on attempt to appeal to the fanboy community. I have a dear friend who works and lives in Antarctica for much of the year and he’s told me that the 1982 version of The Thing captures somewhat closely what it’s like out there. The reason Carpenter’s film remains the best of the three Things is that it conveyed human isolation, captured the lifestyle of a close knit group of men and made us care deeply when they had to decide which of them was taken over by a vicious imposter. The question of how well do you know those closest to you never gels in the 2011 version, because we never care. It entertains on a superficial level, has impressive effects and some cheap scares but stands meekly in the shadow of a great and still petrifying horror movie. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1518f

FILM

Showtimes FRONT STREET THEATER 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees) 50/50 - R - THU (4:15), 7:10, 9:45. The Big Year - G - THU (4:05), 7:05, 9:35. FRI (1:20, 4:05), 7:05, 9:35. SAT-SUN (1:20), 4:05, 7:05, 9:35. MON-WED (4:05), 7:05, 9:35. Dolphin Tale (2D) - PG - THU (3:45), 6:45, 9:15. FRI (1:00, 3:45), 6:45, 9:15. SAT-SUN (1:00), 3:45, 6:45, 9:15. MON-WED (3:45), 6:45, 9:15. Footloose - PG13 - THU (4:00), 7:00, 9:40. FRI (1:15, 4:00), 7:00, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:15), 4:00, 7:00, 9:30. MON-WED (4:00), 7:00, 9:30. The Three Musketeers (2D) - PG13 - FRI (1:30, 4:15), 7:10, 9:45. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:15, 7:10, 9:45. MON-WED (4:15), 7:10, 9:45.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees) 50/50 - R - THU (2:20, 4:35), 7:05, 9:20. FRI (12:05, 2:20, 4:40), 7:05, 9:20. SAT-SUN (12:05, 2:20), 4:40, 7:05, 9:20. MON-WED (2:20, 4:40), 7:05, 9:20. The Contagion - PG13 - THU (1:55, 4:10), 6:35, 9:00. Courageous - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:05, 3:55), 6:50, 9:45. SAT-SUN (1:05), 3:55, 6:50, 9:45. MON-WED (1:05, 3:55), 6:50, 9:45. Crazy, Stupid, Love - PG13 - THU (1:10, 4:00), 6:55, 9:40. Drive - R - THU (2:35, 4:55), 7:35, 10:05. Footloose - PG13 - THU (1:30, 2:10, 4:20, 4:50), 7:00, 7:30, 9:35, 10:00. FRI (11:35, 1:30, 2:10, 4:10, 4:55), 7:00, 7:30, 9:35, 10:00. SATSUN (11:35, 1:30, 2:10), 4:10, 4:55, 7:00, 7:30, 9:35, 10:00. MON-WED (1:30, 2:10, 4:10, 4:55), 7:00, 7:30, 9:35, 10:00. The Ides of March - R - THU (1:40, 2:15, 4:15, 4:40), 6:45, 7:20, 9:15, 10:10. FRI (1:35, 4:05), 6:35, 9:05. SAT-SUN (1:35), 4:05, 6:35, 9:05. MON-WED (1:35, 4:05), 6:35, 9:05. Johnny English Reborn - PG - FRI (11:45,

NEW THIS WEEK JOHNNY ENGLISH REBORN - PG - Comedy Rowan Atkinson (you know, Mr. Bean) stars in a spy spoof. 101 min. THE MIGHTY MACS - G - Family - Breath a sigh of relief: they haven’t busted-out a Steve Jobs flick– yet. Instead, this 2009 movie’s based on the true Cinderella story of the nun-run, all-girls Catholic college basketball team, Immaculata, and their unprecedented 1971-72 win of the first women’s basketball national championships. 100 min. PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3 - R - Horror - A prequel to (you guessed it!) Paranormal Activity and Paranormal Activity 2. 84 min. THE THREE MUSKETEEERS - PG 13 - Action Apparently, Hollywood can turn even candy bars into premises. Kidding! Obviously based on the legendary novel by Alexandre Dumas, this movie’s replete with uber-handsome boys and girls playing with swords and hearts. 110 min.

NOW SHOWING 50/50 - R - Comedy - Part sex farce, part tear-jerker, Barry Wurst II says this cancer-as-comedy flick “isn’t a dour, heavy-handed Disease of the Week TV Movie ordeal [but] a movie funny enough to leave your ribs aching from laughter [while] also potently touching and honest.” 99 min. THE BIG YEAR - PG - Comedy - Steve Martin, Jack Black and Owen Wilson star as birding enthusiasts (the flick’s Audubon-approved!) on a crosscountry adventure. 100 min. COURAGEOUS - PG 13 - Action - Through trial and tribulation, four law enforcement officers fulfill their duty to serve and protect. 95 min.

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

2:05, 4:35), 7:20, 9:55. SAT-SUN (11:45, 2:05), 4:35, 7:20, 9:55. MON-WED (2:05, 4:35), 7:20, 9:55. Killer Elite - R - THU (2:00, 4:30), 7:15, 9:50. FRI (12:05, 2:20, 4:40), 7:05, 9:20. SAT-SUN (11:30, 2:00), 4:30, 7:10, 9:50. MON-WED (2:00, 4:30), 7:10, 9:50. The Mighty Macs - G - FRI (12:00, 2:25, 4:50), 7:15, 9:40. SAT-SUN (12:00, 2:25), 4:50, 7:15, 9:40. THU (2:25, 4:50), 7:15, 9:40. The Three Musketeers (2D) - PG13 - FRI (11:50, 2:15, 5:00), 7:35, 10:05. SAT-SUN (11:50, 2:15), 5:00, 7:35, 10:05. MON-WED (2:15, 5:00), 7:35, 10:05. The Three Musketeers (3D) - PG13 - FRI (1:45, 4:20), 6:55, 9:25. SAT-SUN (1:45), 4:20, 6:55, 9:25. MON-WED (1:45, 4:20), 6:55, 9:25. Warrior - R - THU-FRI (1:00, 3:50), 6:40, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:00), 3:50, 6:40, 9:30. MON-WED (1:00, 3:50), 6:40, 9:30. What’s Your Number? - R - THU (2:25, 4:45), 7:25, 9:55. FRI (12:10, 2:30, 4:45), 7:25, 10:10. SAT-SUN (12:10, 2:30), 4:45, 7:25, 10:10. MONWED (2:30, 4:45), 7:25, 10:10.

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) Dream House - R - THU 1:15, 3:30, 5:50, 8:00. Footloose - PG13 - THU 2:00, 4:30, 7:00. FRISAT 1:30, 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:45. SUN 1:30, 2:00, 4:30, 7:00. MON-WED 1:15, 4:15, 7:15. The Ides of March - R - THU 1:30, 3:50, 6:00, 8:20. FRI-SAT 11:15, 1:30, 6:00, 8:20, 10:30. SUN 11:15, 1:30, 6:00, 8:20. MON-WED 1:30, 3:50, 6:05, 8:20. Real Steel - PG13 - THU 1:00, 4:05, 7:20. FRISAT 11:05, 1:45, 4:40, 7:20, 10:00. SUN 11:05, 1:45, 4:40, 7:20. MON-WED 1:00, 4:05, 7:20. The Three Musketeers (2D) - PG13 - FRI-SUN 11:00, 1:30, 4:05, 6:30, 9:15. MON-WED 1:05, 3:30, 6:00, 8:30.

DOLPHIN TALE - PG - Family - Based on the true story of Winter, a maimed dolphin who gets a progressive prosthetic tail. 128 min. FOOTLOOSE - PG 13 - Fantasy - Either Kevin Bacon isn’t kosher with today’s kids or Hollywood’s binged-and-purged another toothless remake. Maybe both. 113 min. GHOSTBUSTERS - PG - Comedy - Yep. The 1984 classic screens every Thursday in Oct. at Queen Kaahumanu Center. Who you gonna call to go with you? 105 min. THE IDES OF MARCH - R - Political Drama Adapted from the 2008 play Farragut North, which is loosly based on Howard Dean’s unsuccessful bid for the 2004 Democratic presidential nomination. (If you’re having diffculty remembering Dean, we’ll remind you of the ‘Dean Scream’ media gaffe. What a hoot!) Directed by George Clooney. Starring Clooney, Ryan Gosling, Marisa Tomei, Paul Giamatti and Philip Seymour Hoffman. 101 min. KILLER ELITE - R - Action - Jason Statham, Clive Owen and Robert De Niro star in a flick that’s sure to be replete with ‘splosions. 106 min. REAL STEEL - PG 13 - Action - The artist formerly known as Wolverine makes a shady living in the biz of amateur robot boxing. Barry Wurst II says, “While the film is predictable, it isn’t stupid.” 128 min.

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) The Big Year - G - THU 12:25, 2:40, 4:55, 7:10. FRI-SAT 10:30, 9:25. SUN-WED 10:30. Dolphin Tale (2D) - PG - THU 2:05, 4:40, 7:05. FRI-SAT 11:35, 2:10, 4:40, 7:15, 9:45. SUNWED 11:35, 2:10, 4:40, 7:15. Dolphin Tale (3D) - PG - THU 11:35. Ghostbusters - PG - THU 7:30. Moneyball - PG13 - THU 11:15, 1:55, 4:35. Paranormal Activity 3 - R - FRI-SAT 11:10, 12:10, 1:10, 2:10, 3:10, 4:10, 5:10, 6:10, 7:10, 8:10, 9:20, 10:10 . SUN-WED 11:10, 1:10, 3:10, 5:10, 7:10. Real Steel - PG13 - THU 10:45, 11:45, 1:30, 2:30, 4:15, 5:15, 7:00, 8:00. FRI-SAT 11:15, 1:00, 2:00, 3:45, 4:45, 6:30, 7:30, 10:15. SUNTUE 11:15, 1:00, 2:00 3:45, 4:45, 6:30, 7:30. WED 11:00, 1:00, 2:00, 3:45, 4:45, 6:30, 7:30. The Thing - R - THU 12:20, 2:40, 5:00, 7:20. FRISAT 12:20, 2:40, 5:00, 7:45, 10:00. SUN-WED 12:20, 2:40, 5:00, 7:45.

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WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER? - R - Romantic Comedy - If you assessed your last 20 relationships (as Anna Faris does in this flick), would you wonder if one of them was your one true love-lost? (Our answer: if you’ve got 20 relationships worth assessing, the problem probably isn’t with the one that got away.) 106 min.

LAST CHANCE THE CONTAGION - PG 13 - Thiller - The only thing scarier than a deadly airborne disease that threatens every human on Earth (no worries, a crackerjack CDC team is on the case!) is this film’s sky-high payroll. Starring Marion Cotillard, Matt Damon, Laurence Fishburne, Elliot Gould, Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Winslet and Dr. Sanjay Gupta (as himself). 105 min. CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE - PG13 - Comedy - Hilarious and heartbreaking, this new Steve Carrell flick is uneven, but touching. 107 min. DREAM HOUSE - PG 13 - Horror - Scary shit ensues in a haunted house. How original! Starring Daniel Craig, Naomi Watts and and Rachel Weisz. 94 min.

THE THING - R - Thriller - Question: Does anything good ever happen to scientists in Antarctica who discover 100,000-year-old alien remains? Answer: Nope. 103 min.

DRIVE - R - Action - With such an underrated profession, it makes sense that a stuntman might moonlight as a wheelman. Mad skills are mad skills, after all. But it also makes sense that being complicit in crime might upend said stunt/wheelman’s life. Ryan Gosling (who, Marcus Springs of Requests says, “if [Gosling] was any more of a Hollywood darling, he’d be Shirley Temple”) stars. 100 min.

WARRIOR - PG 13 - Drama - Finally, MMA gets a real movie. Two estranged brothers–one a physics teacher, the other an Iraq War veteran–are pitted against one another by their former drunk/boxer dad (Nick Nolte). 139 min.

MONEYBALL - PG 13 - Drama - “Unquestionably, this is one of the great baseball movies, a film for lifelong fans of the sport and even for those who didn’t know the A’s stand for the Oakland Athletics,” says Barry Wurst II. 133 min.

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KULA KID

If You’ve Got The Poison, I’ve Got The Remedy BY ANU YAGI Party up, would you like to come? / Put your faith in a pool of rum / Perfect smile with a crooked tooth / She was dressed as a kissing booth. - Jinja Safari, “Hiccups” ave you ever called your boss–six hours after your shift’s supposed to start–to tell him you just woke up sanspants, clothed only in your vomit? I have. If you want, you should try it sometime; that is, if you 1) have a really cool boss; 2) don’t value your quality of life; and 3) have at least one good friend who’s willing to throw you over their shoulder like a continental soldier, hike you home and “hose you off outside like a wild animal” (to quote said friend verbatim). Why try? That kind of gnarly hangover– one that makes you wish you were dead instead–is a fast-track to a Masters from the School of Hard Knocks; quick as degree from DeVry but cooler, more substantive and makes for a great answer to that annoyingly ubiquitous job interview question (you know, after you’re fired for being a no-show). INTERVIEWER: “Now that I’ve heard about your strengths, tell me about your weaknesses.” INTERVIEWEE: [Insert the standard, “Oh, I work too hard; am too committed...” followed by] “I’m honest to a fault. The best leaders–which I can already tell you are (insert sleazy wink)–make a point of surrounding themselves with those who aren’t afraid to voice a little dissidence if for the good of the company. And further, if I’m so hungover I must miss work, once I regain consciousness I’ll call and tell you so–instead of lying and saying my cat died or that I have food poisoning.” The Interviewer might think you’re joking (a healthy sense of humor in the workplace is a plus!), but when s/he hires you and finds your lip service really does extend to the pau hana glass, s/he can’t say you didn’t warn them. Then again, no matter how much you love the nightlife (and sometimes the daylife; OK, the anytimelife) and love to boogie, honesty about hangovers only goes so far, so often. While rest is part of the cure for any ailment, sometimes you’ve gotta suck it up after suckin’ ‘em down and get through the day anyway. So, as MauiTime’s resident drunk (which is saying something), I’ve been assigned to share a few hangover remedies in honor of our annual Bar Guide. (Oh, and I suppose fixing the feeling of deargod-every-cell-hurts-like-hell shouldn’t be underrated.)

H

1) PREVENTION & HYDRATION - The lamest on the list because it requires responsibility and planning, whatever that is. It should be mentioned that the British Medical Journal reports the obvious: “No compelling evidence exists to suggest that any conventional or complementary intervention is effective for preventing or treating alcohol hangover. The most effective way to avoid the symptoms of alcohol induced hangover is to avoid drinking.” Seeing as that’s out of the question, let’s take another cue from the Europeans and drink as they do, i.e. with lots of water between libations. After all, alcohol is a diuretic and dehydrating (as is puking when you’ve gone too far). So downing a river of electrolyte-rich drinks like coconut water or sports stuff is helpful before, during and after drinking. 2) LA‘AU LAPA‘AU - Ever since Hawaiian herbal healing has been co-opted by the hippies, arborists have reported a drastic decrease in the number of nuts produced by kukui trees, seeing as the kanaka cure is naught but fresh kukui blossoms. Kidding! I made the hippie part up. But seriously, chewing and swallowing a handful of little white kukui flowers is a trick worth trying. Sure, it tastes bad, but so does puke. You pick. 3) PILL POPPIN’ - There’s stuff like NoHang or Chaser, available online or in fine gas stations, which some say helps mitigate the morning-after moans (see #5). A likewise alternative is milk thistle, which like the aforementioned brands simply helps the liver process toxins. Then there’s stuff like Acetylcysteine, Chlormethiazole, Tolfenamic acid and Rosiglitazone which sounds scarier than the wrath of the porcelain god. 4) HAIR OF THE DOG - Nothing like bandaging a wet wound so that it won’t heal. Oh, sweet tradition. Oh, sweeter breakfast beverages like mimosas or Bloody Marys. The wives’ tale is that it staves off withdrawal, but really it just postpones the hurtin’. At least, it’s fun. 5) MOANING MISERABLY - My favorite. Hearing yourself feeling bad for yourself really makes you realize how pathetic you are, how that whole responsibility and planning thing really isn’t so bad after all, and how–if nothing else but to avoid getting fired–you really ought to wash the wine out of your hair and find some pants. ■

To read more Kula Kid with links and photos and stuff, and to leave comments, visit mauifeed.com/kulakid

anu@mauitime.com

36

OCTOBER 20, 2011

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HOROSCOPE

Sign Language BY CAERIEL CRESTIN

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS ...to questions on page 7

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

You see things one way, but it’s not the only way. Imagine something simple and concrete, like a shiny red apple. A Biblethumper could view it as a symbol of the knowledge of good and evil, or original sin. A dietician might call it an excellent source of fiber and nutrients. Someone of a more philosophical bent could claim it’s impossible to prove the apple even exists. See how all these different people, all purportedly referring to the same thing, would have entirely different conversations and tell completely different stories? Go ahead and seek some common ground—but if you don’t find it, don’t feel bad.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

I understand why you think your window of opportunity’s gone. After all, you sat on your hands and forlornly watched it split. Now that it’s over the horizon, I’m sure you’re kicking yourself and wishing you’d been brave enough to get on that train and see what happened next. Here’s some arguably great news: the train’s been delayed just around the bend. Start running now and you’ll be able to catch up and hop aboard. What are you waiting for? I’m not sure you can live with chickening out twice in a row. Go for what you want. Now.

1: A. Former Honolulu Mayor Mufi Hanneman. 2: C. A De Beers project to build 193 luxury condos (each featuring diamond-studded lighting and plumbing fixtures), which would have cost a bit more than $250 million.

3: B, A, D, C

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

Ignoring the possibility of laser eye surgery, imagine you had to choose between blurry, error-prone vision, or wearing thick, ugly glasses in order to see clearly. Ultimately, the real question is this: Which is more important to you—how you see the world, or how you’re seen by it? Being a blind, loveably naïve fool may be charming, but perceiving the world clearly—even if it makes you cynical—is a power I don’t think you’d be happy without. Only you can decide which is more important to you right now, but decide you must; you can’t be both. CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

Although it goes against your stubborn nature, surrendering now may be your best bet. Ensuring that you “live to fight another day” is more important than this particular battle, especially if you’ve finally recognized that it’s not one you can win. Instead of struggling on anyway, retreat now so that you can find a more defensible position later. You’re good at seeing the big picture, so surely you see the wisdom of my advice. Take it. Winning this war overnight isn’t going to happen. If standing firm here and now means you’ll be effectively crippled later, may I suggest rolling over, showing your belly, and waiting for a better time and place to put up a real fight?

Confidence is sexy, but acting like you shit golden eggs or speak with the voice of god has quite the opposite effect. You should be confident—but realistically so. Excessively tooting your own horn, or generally trying too hard, won’t impress anyone, and will turn off most. Sure, being quiet about your awesomeness may mean you get overlooked this time. But if you do appear on someone’s radar, you’ll be that much more impressive, and classier than the guy parading around in his one-man-band get-up. Self-promotion has a time and place— this week simply isn’t it. CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

I get the enduring appeal of a pretty face, massive wealth, or celebrity. But don’t be blinded by them. If you want someone who’ll actually make you happy, you’ll need to practically ignore these flashy traits. Don’t delude yourself that riches or beauty by themselves will keep you happy; they’re ultimately too ephemeral and superficial for that (and having a gorgeous or filthy rich partner isn’t the picnic you may think it is). Even if you focus primarily on less shallow qualities, you’ll likely want to still include factors such as cuteness or net worth into your overall equation. In your shoes, however, I’d at least try to leave them out completely. LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

Think of your relationships as chairs. Overload them with weight, and they’ll collapse. What kind of “chair” do you want? A rare antique may be indescribably beautiful, but will only survive in perfect conditions. Something made of wicker may be lightweight and flexible, but easily crushed by even slightly rough treatment. Something sturdy and utilitarian may not be as gorgeous, but will keep doing its job, even when left out in the rain. What kind of chair you end up with is at least partially up to you. Is it something you hope to keep enjoying in a decade or two, or able to take a certain amount of hardship, or simply as ephemeral and beautiful as a soap bubble?

Of course, you’re delighted when someone appreciates your unique qualities, but when they obsess about them, it gets downright creepy. You’re more than a vehicle for your flaming red hair, gorgeous breasts, or spectacular singing voice. Go ahead and flaunt your assets as usual this week, but don’t oversell them. Make sure everyone knows you’re a package deal. If someone only values you for a couple of your shining qualities, dump them, pronto. While it’s unlikely anyone will appreciate every single aspect of your being, many are ready to value most of who and what you are. VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

Going slow is lovely and all, and probably generally a good idea, but sometimes the only way you’re going to get in at all is with a full-throttle cannonball dive off the side of the cliff. Wading in, in this case, is simply not an option. Therefore, you must either marshal your courage and dive in, willfully embracing the consequences (both good and bad) that result. If you can’t do that, stop even looking at the lake you’re not going to jump into. Step aside and make room for someone more willing to take the risk. ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

Ego may prevent some people from ever kissing ass. Others have no problem with a little harmless (and swiftly forgotten) buttsmooching, if it’ll get them what they want. I’m not sure which category you’re in these days. Since a tiny bit of brown-nosing is necessary to get what you want, you must weigh that against the sanctity of your pride. Which would you rather have? Personally, I think your self-respect would recover pretty quickly from your ass-kissing efforts, especially soothed by the satiation of your desires. However, you may prefer to cling to your unsullied dignity instead. Whichever you choose, pride or desire, let the other go. Try to hang onto both and you’ll just be miserable.

Someone please tell those who drench themselves in perfume/ cologne that a cloud of headache-inducing, suffocatingly sweet stench is not hot. What’s ironic is that they don such scents to be more attractive, clueless that it might have precisely the opposite effect. You’re doing something similar—instead of making you sexier or more appealing, as you hope, it’s driving people away. Once you determine what you’re doing wrong (you may have to ask others; like those perfumed people, your nose may be desensitized to the noxiousness of your efforts), it’ll be simple to ditch the bad habit—about as easy as tossing a perfume bottle into the trash. LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

Very few people would want to taxidermy a well-loved house pet after it’s passed away. I wouldn’t have guessed you were one of these, and yet here you are, determined to stuff, mount, and artificially preserve something you’d be better off burying or burning. Despite the temporary comfort this might bring you, it’s really just a (slightly disturbing) way to keep from moving on. Stop trying to keep this thing long past its sell by date, or soon you won’t have any room in your home, heart, or fridge—which means nothing fresh, new, and wonderful will ever come in. Make space.

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

OCTOBER 20, 2011 37

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$$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live

5 $2 *p

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Contact brad@mauitime.com or call (808) 283-3260 for more information.

The Business Card District HOT HULA Fitness

Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 http://www.easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN)

*4 week minimum, black & white. Add $10 for full color

10 OFF! any color

$

service!

thru oct.31st Call for your appointment

808 442 2242

Manicure Pedicure Combo $29.99

Reflexology Acrylic KRXU Full Set Body Massage $2 .99 1 hour $55

Lovely

NAIL & SPA

879-2600

Footsie

REFLEXOLOGY 879-8898

9 S. .I+EI R'ย .8.8I 0ALL ย 0AE 2

Mind, Body & Spirit Authentic $45 TANTRA LOVING BODYWORK Inanna 264-6325 SACRED TOUCH Kihei, Tues-Sat. 281-4984

*HEALING HANDS M4M* Treat yourself to a full-body M4M combination nurturing & therapeutic bodywork session. In-calls & out-calls available. Call 2421122. FIND MAUI’S HOLISTIC EVENTS! Visit www.mauivision.net today and explore our extensive mind, body & spirit listings. New October/November Maui Vision Magazine out now! Call 6699091 for info.

MASSAGE LICENSED MASSAGE THERAPY Enjoy a Relaxing Professional Massage. Private, Comfortable West Maui location by a Certified LMT. For Pregnancy Massage, Deep Tissue, Lomi or Swedish, call Susan 276-2114. Same day appts. available. MAT#8984

Thai Bodywork

Body Work

With Dawan Upcountry Location

264-1576 PAN’S

THAI BODY WORK With Thai Herbs & Balms Located Upcountry

$

6<9 :,*65+ 36*(;065

56> 67,5 05 20/,0 3076( :; ‹

OPEN MON-SAT IN KIHEI OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK IN WAILUKU

)HHO WKH 6WUHVV 0HOW $ZD\

45 / 1 hr

• $65 / 1.5 hr

40 N. Market St. Wailuku, HI 242-8788

Arunee, Located in Haiku (808)344-4674

NOW OPEN SUNDAYS Thru November

NEW ITEMS just arrived from Honolulu Gift Show!

and so much more!

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Open 10am - 5pm

MASSAGE

$45

244.2300

463-1771 MAT #11951

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$

50 *(33 4(30( 4(;

This picture is stupid. Everyone knows mimes don’t talk, they text!

Authentic THAI Bodywork s

FALL SPECIAL

0'' THE INTITAL CONSULTATION

& ACUPUNCTURE TREATMENT WITH

DEBORAH MAGHEN, LAc an $85 value

Skilled Therapeutic Massage

19 Baldwin Ave, Paia 579-9922

1816 Mill Street ÂŚ Wailuku

I'ao Acupuncture & Spa COMPLIMENTARY FAR-INFRARED SAUNA TREATMENT WITH JADE STONE MASSAGE BY HONORA, LMT

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Call:249-8280 ¡ XXX JBPBDVQVODUVSF DPN

95 Lipoa St. #105 Kihei, HI 874-5333

hats * shoes local jewelry * yoga wear boardshorts * glass

ÂŚ Cystals ÂŚ Minerals ÂŚ ÂŚ Asian Art ÂŚ Jewelry ÂŚ

FULL 90 MINUTE

NOW WITH 2 LOCATIONS!

^^^ NYLLU[PTH\P JVT *Now accepting Health Insurance

Green Lotus

298.8869

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>ĂƒĂƒ>}iĂŠUĂŠ VĂ•ÂŤĂ•Â˜VĂŒĂ•Ă€iĂŠUĂŠ ˆvĂŒĂƒĂŠUĂŠ >Vˆ>Â?ĂƒĂŠUĂŠ7>Ă?ˆ˜}

Full Body Oil or Authentic Thai Style

MAUI’S LOWEST COST AND HIGHEST QUALITY HEALING SESSION ONLY ORGANIC PRODUCTS USED

Call mauitime to book an ad today. 808-283-3260

É‘Č?Č?Č˝ PȨ

Traditional Thai

Ancient Techniques s Herbs s Balms

Experience Thailand’s Living Treasure!

$45 for 1 hour!

Call NOM in 0UKALANI s

CHINESE TRADITIONAL BODY WORK B EAU T IFU L S T U D IO Stiff Neck/Frozen Shoulders Headache Facial Beauty Whole Body Care North Kihei 8:30AM-7:00PM

808-269-7342

XIAO

There is nothing sadder then a business without an ad Book one today! 808-283-3260 OCTOBER 20, 2011 39

If the current price of gold is $1680 we will pay you $54.02 per gram for pure gold. )UHH 3DUNLQJ RQ 9LQH\DUG EHKLQG 0DXL 6SRUWLQJ *RRGV

island

Free Pap Smears & Mammograms

status

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MAUI’S BEST

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320 OHUKAI RD. #404, KIHEI 808.879.2826

SPECIAL!

Â

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Your LOGO ORGANIZATION or GRAPHIC

10 Custom T-Shirts Only $99

t /0 Minimums t /0 Color Fees t /0 Set Up Fees t /0 Worries!

Unlimited Colors (2 4URNAROUND s FREE Art

1261 Lower Main St. CALL NOW! (808) 268-5860

(Wailuku)

MAUI TATTOO COMPANY Traditional, Custom, Polynesian, Cover-Ups, Portraits & Permanent Makeup. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., under Lu Lu’s. 874-0034 WAILEA AND MAKENA REAL ESTATE DEALS Heavily discounted opportunities. Prices from $469k and up. Contact Josh Jerman, Realtor 808-283-2222 The Wailea Group LLC

Mum’s M um’s the the word. word. . But the But the secret secret out isis out 0(',&$/ 0$5,-8$1$ ,1,7,$/ &(57,),&$7,21 5(1(:$/6 ‡ $// )((6 ,1&/8'('

REWARD $500 For Macbook Pro computer and Lacie External Hard Drive missing from my Home at Tavares Beach. No Questions Asked 264-0816 or agentliam@me.com

CHRYSLER EXPERTS! SPORTFISHING

"-7 / -).) s 6/,6/ -%2#%$%3 s 67 !5$)

GROW YOUR OWN

3%26)#% s 0!243 s !##%33/2)%3

The Office of

MATTHEW BRITTAIN, LCSW

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Coordinating M.D. Services for the Medical use of Marijuana

s 3CHEDULED -AINTENANCE TO -AJOR /VERHAULS s 4OWING s %XTENDED 7ARRANTY 3ERVICE s #USTOM 0ERFORMANCE 0RODUCTS )NSTALLATION s #OLLISION 2EPAIR s 2ESTORATIONS s $ETAILING s 4IRES s 7HEELS s -UFFLERS s "ATTERIES s !IR #ONDITIONING #OMPUTER %LECTRONIC $IAGNOSTICS

$)%3%, s ")/$)%3%, s (9"2)$3

2$

42 ft. Custom Sportfishers Catch a 500+lb Marlin & your trip is

FREE

and we make a $300 donation to a Maui charity

(808) 667-2774

)3,!.$ 7)$% 3%26)#%

0(',&$/ 86( RI 0$5,-8$1$

CERTIFICATES & RE-CERTIFICATION

10% DISCOUNT

Stop Wishin’ & Go Fishin’

FOR MORE INFO CALL:

808.298.3189

&DVVLH DW AIR MAUI HELICOPTER TOURS 2 FOR 1 SPECIAL! West Maui/Molokai Special. Only Air Maui offers this incredible flight! Call now for your 2 for 1 Kama’aina special or special visitor rate! Expires Dec. 31, 2011. For reservations call 877-7005

GET YOUR FACE PAINTED FFOR O HALLOWEEN! LLOO WEENN! GGo tto Island Status to celebrate your night out!

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878-2698

!-%2)#!. s !3)!. s #!23 s 3563 s 425#+3

,OWER +ULA 2OAD s "EHIND +ULA (ARDWARE

QUALIFYING MEDICAL CONDITIONS INCLUDE: (but are not limited to)

Cancer, HIV/AIDS, Severe Pain, Severe Nausea, Glaucoma, Seizures, Severe Muscle Spasms

MAUI

Fall renewal special, Only $125 through Dec. 30th

Haiku - (808) 575 - 9999 Kahului - (808) 871 - 6393

Please call Matthew at our Main Office in Hilo at

OhanaGreenhouse.com NationalGardenWholesale.com

We are not a dispensary. Offering monthly clinics on Maui. We are not State of Hawaii employees or contractors.

Plus the $35 State processing fee

(808)934-7566

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