14.27 New Year's Roundup 2011, December 23, 2010, Volume 14, Issue 27, MauiTime

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Contents ✚

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: Have you finished your Christmas shopping? Editor: Jacob Shafer (808) 283-1308 / jacob@mauitime.com @jacobshafer on Twitter Santa’s got it covered Associate Editor: Anu Yagi (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com @anuheayagi on Twitter Haven’t even started Proofreader: Dina Wilson Everything but the wrapping Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Rob Parsons, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Sara Tekula, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Art Director: Chris Skiles chris@mauitime.com / lucky11studios.com Yep, just bought myself an iPhone

ISSUE 27

5 NEWS & VIEWS Coconut Wireless parses state budgets and tiger escapes. Green jobs rise in By the Numbers. Quizunderstood asks about Obama vacations and lunar eclipses. News of the Weird attends an Apocalyptic yard sale. Open Letters is cashed out. Eh Brah! trashes a non-recycler.

11 FOOD & DRINK Jen Russo gets gets her luau on in Kaanapali.

14 FILM CRITIQUE

Graphic Designers: Shane Fontanilla, Naomi D. Sheikin and Christina Tarleton

Barry Wurst II says Blue Valentine is the cure for romantic comedy overload. Plus more FirstLight screenings.

Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Switchblades for everyone!

19 Film Capsules/Listings

General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter

16 A&E

Administrative Executive: Judy Toba (808) 244-0777 / judy@mauitime.com Christmas? Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown I’m never finished shopping Web Design: Linear Publishing Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter

Still looking for something to do on December 31? We’ve got you covered, with a look at the hottest parties, swankiest soirees and all the places to find smooches and sippables at the stroke. It’s our New Year’s rundown.

22 Da Kine Calendar 23 Grid

28 BACK PAGES Kula Kid feels Mercurial. Sign Language tells Capricorn to prepare for battle.

30 Classified 31 Mind, Body & Spirit

ON THE COVER: Design by Chris Skiles

Green Island Gardening 15 years in business

Saturday, January 1, 2011 Start the year with a Savings! Save 25% on ALL BATH & BODY PRODUCTS in our Gallery Gift Shop. Stock up on your Lavender Favorites for the New Year!

- Explore the Great Outdoors - Two Days Only Saturday, Sunday, January 1 & 2, 2011 Enjoy the pristine beauty of our farm by taking a easy walking, informative tour. Save 50% on all walking tours ($6 p/p savings) during these 2 days only. Walking tours offered at 9:30am, 10:30am, 11:30am, 1pm & 2:30pm. Advance reservations required.

- Living Wreath Making Saturday, January 1, 2011 - 10am Make a one-of-a-kind wreath of colorful succulents. Wreath base, succulents, supplies & instruction included. $40 + tax. Tea & scone at leisure included. Advance reservations required.

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20 THIS WEEK’S PICKS An islandwide Christmas mashup, a Wyland art show and musical theater with The Fantasticks.

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2010 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime. MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of the MauiTime

PHOTO BY J. ANTHONY MARTINEZ

VOLUME 14

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DECEMBER 23, 2010

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DECEMBER 23, 2010

BY JACOB SHAFER

NEWS&VIEWS

jacob@mauitime.com + @jacobshafer on Twitter

Coconut Wireless Leftover Budget, Anyone? With all the enthusiasm of a cat eyeing a pile of wilted arugula, Gov. Abercrombie submitted an initial budget—drafted by the Lingle Administration—to the state legislature this week. “The budget I am submitting today is not an indication of agreement with the policies of the previous administration,” Abercrombie said in a prepared statement. “To the contrary, there is a broad call

Political contributions will no longer be tax deductible. Corporations that give more than $1,000 to a politician will have to file paperwork with the state Campaign Spending Commission. Hawaii’s primary election will be moved up a month, from September to August. State health care providers will be required to cover colon cancer screenings. And drivers arrested for DUI will have to blow into a breathalyzer device to start their cars. And yes, starting January 11, stores in

With all the enthusiasm of a cat eyeing a pile of wilted arugula, Gov. Abercrombie submitted the Lingle Administration’s budget. from all people of Hawaii for a change in direction.” At the same time, he added, “such dramatic changes...cannot be completed in the two-week period between the inauguration of our new administration and the submittal of the budget.” The budget, which covers fiscal years 2012 and ’13, features a rather gaping $772 million shortfall. Abercrombie didn’t discuss how he plans to close that gap—other than dipping into emergency funds—but did say he’s confident “that we can and will do better, stimulating our economy and creating the breathing space we need to reinvest in our core priorities.”

New Rules In addition to the countywide plastic bag ban, a number of new state rules are set to take effect in January.

Maui County will no longer be allowed to offer plastic bags at the point of sale—with a few exceptions. For more on the state rules, visit the Hawaii House Blog (hawaiihouseblog. blogspot.com). For info about the plastic bag ban, go to the County Web site (co. maui.hi.us) or check out the “Maui County BYOBag” Facebook page.

2009

VOLUME 12

ISSUE 29

MAUITIME.COM

FREE

Distilllers NEWS BRIEFS

killing one person and mauling two others. Amid the ensuing controversy—and a damning investigation that revealed the wall surrounding the tiger’s enclosure was several feet shorter than it should have been—Mollinedo resigned. Now, he’s taking the reins at the Honolulu Zoo. In a statement, Mayor Peter Carlisle promised the zoo is “in good hands” with Mollinedo, while city director Sidney Quintal—who was responsible for the hire—defended Mollinedo’s record in the Honolulu Star Advertiser: “[I’m] convinced that he did everything that was right with regard to managing that zoo and what happened was just very unfortunate.” That’s one way of putting it. ■

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Zoo Over Some jobs come with unforgivable offenses: pilots can’t fall asleep at the controls, brain surgeons can’t hit the operating table drunk and zoo directors can’t allow the animals— especially ones with big claws and sharp teeth—to get out. Or, apparently, they can. Three years ago, Manuel Mollinedo was in charge of the San Francisco Zoo when a Siberian tiger escaped,

The Blog Roll THURSDAY, JANUARY 08

Haleakala

.com

What’s new at MauiTime’s blogs?

MauiTime contributor Rob Parsons is among the latest additions to the Arakawa Administration, landing the environmental coordinator gig this week. Says Rob: “I’m looking forward to implementing...”

You know you should eat local, but sometimes you need a visual aid. Here’s a salad made entirely with ingredients from my Kula Fields box: chopped kale, sliced cucumber, red onion and cranberries, with a...

WTF moment from Anu’s inbox: I imagine the late great Bill Hicks would be OK with the likes of Tool utilizing his work, but something tells me had he been around to witness the Internet blossom into the unwieldy tween it is today, he’d rail against everything but...

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DECEMBER 23, 2010

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DECEMBER 23, 2010

NEWS&VIEWS

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QUIZunderstood 1. This week, a full lunar eclipse visible in North America occurred on

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the Winter Solstice—the darkest day of the year. When was the last time that happened?

A. 1938

B. 1638

C. Never

2. Last weekend, the Obama family arrived on Oahu for a holiday vacation— minus what?

3. On December 16, Na Koa Ikaika Maui announced that former Major League All-Star Garry Templeton (pictured) will manage the team next season. Templeton was last seen on Maui in September; what was he doing?

BONUS: Templeton is one of only two switch hitters in MLB history to do what? See answers, page 29

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BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

NEWS&VIEWS

chuck@mauitime.com +

EH BRAH!

NEWS OF THE WEIRD LAST RIDE The Cabral Chrysler dealership in Manteca, California, was so desperate for a sale in October that one of its employees picked up potential customer Donald Davis, 67, at his nursing home, brought the pajamas-andslippers-clad, dementia-suffering resident in to sign papers, handed him the keys to his new pickup truck (with the requested chrome wheels!) and sent him on his way (even tossing Davis’s wheelchair into the truck’s bed as Davis sped away). Shortly afterward, Davis led police on a high-speed chase 50 miles from Manteca. He was stopped and detained—but at a hospital the next morning, he passed away from heart failure. The Cabral salesman said Davis had called him twice the day before, insisting on buying a new truck.

HEAD CASES Though the death and injury rates for motorbikers in Nigeria are high, compliance with a helmet law is notoriously bad, because so many riders fear “juju,” which is the presence of supernatural spirits inside head coverings. Juju supposedly captures a person’s brain and takes it away, leading most riders to “comply” with the helmet law by wearing only a thin cloth hat that spiritualists assure them will not allow “juju” to take hold.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

in a local messianic church, recently began staging a “Second Coming” sale, supposedly to commemorate the Day of the Lord when Jesus returns, triggering the Apocalypse. Among the responses by local residents: Why would anyone planning to be taken away need jewelry anyway, and, especially, why would Falter need to sell his jewelry instead of just giving it away? (Falter said that he owes money to people right now and is obliged to pay them back as best he can before departing.)

ehbrah@mauitime.com This is for the guy who dumped a trash bag full of cans and bottles in his garbage can, then yelled at me for trying to take them out: it’s called respecting the ‘aina brah, ever heard of it? I wasn’t “stealing” from you as you claimed, but merely trying to right a wrong (and, yeah, OK, get a couple bucks in the process). I’m not some bum who canvasses neighborhoods picking through people’s rubbish (not yet anyway), but when I see someone tossing recyclables without a second thought I think it’s my duty to step in. Next time, maybe you could thank me—or better yet drive your lazy ass down to the redemption center! ■

BOOB RUBES Berlyn Aussieahshowna, 37, was arrested in Boise, Idaho, in November and charged with practicing medicine without a license after she convinced at least two women to let her fondle their breasts under the guise that she was performing a breast “exam.” According to police investigators, Aussieahshowna is neither a doctor nor even Berlyn Aussieahshowna. She is Kristina Ross, and is not even a biological female, although she was identified in a 2004 arrest as a male-to-female transsexual. Authorities were puzzled why the two women were duped since both times, “Dr.” Aussieahshowna performed her “consultations,” including the exams, in bars. ■

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EVERYTHING MUST GO Larry Falter, the owner of a Superior, Wisconsin, jewelry store and an elder

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Feasting and Fire

Kaanapali luau offers divine cuisine and a virtual tour of Polynesian performance Wailele Polynesian Luau Tuesdays & Thursdays Westin Maui Resort and Spa, Kaanapali 662-2753 for reservations

W

ith the changing landscape of Kaanapali and the trend in resort property moving to vacation ownership, the lines are blurring as to what defines a full-service resort. At Westin Maui Resort and Spa, the Starwood resort partnership links the Sheraton and Westin Kaanapali Ocean Resort Villas and pool amenities for guests. One of the must-do experiences is the Wailele le Polynesian Luau. The concept behind this luau—and what sets it apart from others—is the contemporary approach to the cuisine and the sit-down family style courses served. The show is a fabulous exposition of different Polynesian y

love the snapshots—they really do capture the moment. The Wailele Luau runs twice a week, on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The bar is open upon arrival, with a full a line up of spirits and mixers. Blue Hawaiians and mai tais dominate, but you can order whatever you like. The first course arrives as the sun is setting—enjoy the view. The emcee—either Wilmont Kahaialii or Makalapua Kanuha— narrates the show with finesse. You nibble an array of Polynesian pupus: ahi poke, taro lau‘ai‘ia, chips and lomi lomi salmon. The lau ai ia,

yum! y

salad, Haiku or sala l d ffeatures t H ik greens and Kamuela green tomatoes with Kula onion tomat hearts of palm, while and h housemaid Tahitian the h lime dressing pulls the whole whol enterprise together. The standout is the pipi kaula; kaula the dried beef was thick and tender, without being bein too dry. The T hula dancers are in full swing by this time, fu me don’ t try this at ho going goin through Kahiko, Ota, Ota Hula ‘Auwana, Ahuroa and an Maori dances. It’s a visually inspiring tour through Hawaiian t performance that culminates in the grand dance, with stops in Tahiti, Tonga and New finale of Siva Afi, the Samoan fire knife dance. Zealand. The Samoan slap dance is one of my When you enter the luau grounds favorites, and this part of the show kicks off you’re immediately draped with a lei, and the second course. The main entrees are served a photographer snaps your picture in front on big platters in the middle of the table with of a tiki torch-lit waterfall. It’s corny, but I

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ved getting the keiki invol a lazy Susan. My party of four shared a table with a group of tourists. It’s a social environment, really embracing the island style of dining and sharing food, even with strangers that quickly become new friends. The main entrees feature something for everyone. Seared fresh fish, kalua pork and cabbage, poi, teriyaki steak and Molokai sweet potato. I liked the kalua pig, and the cabbage and poi was divine. My niece went for the teri-steak, while my sister enjoyed the fish. Our table partners mixed it up—trying everything—but settled on the surf and turf combo. As the dinner hour lulls and dessert approaches, the show moves through the Fijian warrior and Aparima Tahitian dance. Once the lazy Susan fills with pineapple cake, haupia, macadamia nut tartlet and chocolate cake, the grand finale, Siva Afi, literally heats up the stage. This is one of the most elaborate fire knife dances on the island, incorporating four to five performers. Chief Tavita was stealing the show the night I was there, though I imagine he’s the show-stopper every time he takes the stage. The Wailele Luau can also accommodate vegetarian and other dietary restrictions if you give them a heads-up when making your

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★★★★★

Rated R/120 min.

T

here’s a scene early in Blue Valentine where Cindy (Michelle Williams) runs into Bobby (Mike Vogel), her handsome jock of an exboyfriend. We don’t know yet just how meaningful their relationship was, but we can tell from the way Cindy talks to Bobby that his sudden re-appearance has rattled her. Moments later, Cindy is driving with Dean (Ryan Gosling), her husband, and mentions that she saw Bobby at the grocery store and, in a casual lie, that he’s out of shape and no longer attractive. Dean defensively retorts, “Why would I care what he looks like?� and shakes his head silently, pretending not to be hurt. We see how Cindy’s lie both guarded her true, conflicted feelings and how her half-hearted attempt at honesty with her husband has hurt them both. This sequence is startling in its honesty and a sign of things to come. This is a movie that shows, unflinchingly, how a deeply troubled relationship got started and where it’s ultimately headed. Remember 500 Days of Summer (which screened at the 2009 Maui Film Festival), where we witnessed the beginning and ending of a couple’s season together, told in shuffled order? Imagine that as a gritty independent film that doesn’t rely on a jumbled narrative, self-satisfied winking and flashy CGI. Blue Valentine underlines everything that is false and safe about many movies with a similar premise; it portrays the pain and passion of being in love and cuts deeper than any other modern love story. Gosling and Williams give incredible performances and reveal new depths. By now most are aware that Gosling is a sensational talent but Williams is especially haunting, living up to the promise she showed in Wendy and Lucy. The two leads have a chemistry

that burns brightly, with one scene in particular—a song and dance bit accompanied by Gosling singing and playing his ukulele—that’s the stuff of movie magic. There are also some very painful moments that provide a sharp contrast to the winsome romance. The film is moving, truthful and observant about the ways men and women interact. It’s a date movie, but only for couples who are ready to confront raw emotional intensity. Most Hollywood love stories have characters who act according to the confines of a “romantic comedy,â€? a genre that has devolved past clichĂŠ. Here, everything Gosling and Williams do feels authentic and lived-in, making the action feel captured rather than performed. Blue Valentine was initially slapped with an NC-17 rating (since downgraded to R) due to its graphic sex scenes. Let me knock this useless bit of controversy out of the way: the two scenes in question are intense and explicit to be sure, but in no way cross the line into pornography. Anyone going to see this for a glimpse of Gosling and Williams sans clothing should look elsewhere. On the other hand, if controversy helps the movie, so be it. This one shouldn’t be missed.

are among the ensemble cast. 120 min.

ALSO SHOWING...

RABBIT HOLE - PG13 - Drama - A oncehappy couple struggles to reunite after a shattering tragedy. Nicole Kidman and Aaron Eckhart star. 92 min.

THE WAY BACK - PG13 - Drama - A group of WWII prisoners escape a Stalinist prison camp in this based-on-a-true-story historical thriller. Peter Weir directs. 133 min. TRUE GRIT - PG13 - Western The Coen Brothers update the John Wayne classic (though they insist it’s based on the book) with Jeff Bridges donning the eye patch. 110 min. LEGEND OF THE GUARDIANS - PG Animated - Visually rich epic about some battling owls; should be a real hoot. (Sorry.) 90 min. MAO’S LAST DANCER - NR - Drama, Foreign - A biopic based on the life of ballet dancer Lee Cunxin. In English with Mandarin subtitles. 117 min. FOR COLORED GIRLS - R - Drama - Tyler Perry ditches his drag to bring Ntozake Shange’s 1974 stage musical to the big screen. Janet Jackson and Whoopi Goldberg

SOMEWHERE - R - Drama - A Hollywood party boy’s debauchery is interrupted by the arrival of his preteen daughter. Sofia Coppola directs. 98 min. WINTER’S BONE - R - Drama - A girl tracks her deadbeat dad through the iceshrouded Ozarks, and meets some other kin along the way. 100 min. TINY FURNITURE - NR - Comedy - Armed with a film theory degree and a dying rodent, a girl returns to her hometown to piece her life together. 98 min. THE TEMPEST - PG13 - Fantasy Shakespeare’s desert island (actually Lanai) is populated by the likes of Helen Mirren, Alfred Molina and frizzy-haired comedian Russell Brand. 110 min. NEVER LET ME GO - R - Drama, Sci Fi Two youths at a seemingly boring British boarding school discover a horrible truth and confront eternal questions. 103 min. MY DOG TULIP - NR - Drama - A crusty old man’s heart is melted by a German Shepherd and love, as the tag line says, truly turns out to be a bitch. 60 min.

WASTE LAND - NR - Documentary - The world’s largest landfill—in Rio de Janiero— becomes the site of some amazing and unexpected art. 98 min. BIUTIFUL - R - Drama, Foreign - A man (Javier Bardem) straddles the volatile line between criminal and devoted father. In Spanish with English subtitles. 148 min. CERTIFIED COPY - NR - Drama, Foreign A couple of strangers pretend to be married. Or are they a married couple pretending to be strangers? In English, French and Italian, with English subtitles. 106 min. â–

For dates and showtimes, see page 19. For tickets and more info, call 579-9244 or visit mauifilmfestival.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1427f

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Still figuring out what to do, where to go and who to kiss? You’re on your own with the last one, but as to the first two we’ve got you covered, with an islandwide rundown of the hottest shindigs and swankiest soirees. Pull out this section and take it with you (for bonus points, snap a picture of you

and your friends partying with this guide and send it to us). Remember to designate a driver, celebrate responsibly (or at least not completely irresponsibly)andsqueezethelast few drops out of 2010.

Cheers!

WEST

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an you believe it? The Maui Celebrity Series has been bringing big acts to our little isle for a year now. To celebrate their first birthday, a bunch of famous folk are returning to rub elbows with us once again. The Mick Fleetwood Blues Band—featuring Fleetwood, Rick Vito, Lenny Castellanos and Mark Johnstone, plus Eric Gilliom and Gretchen Rhodes— headlines, and show creator/crooner Brian Evans will join returning series guests William Shatner, Cheech Marin, Tom Arnold, Hal Sparks, Shawn Hatosy and Nermin Zajic (Thurs., Dec. 30; 8pm). Sing “Auld Lang Syne” as you set sail with the Pacific Whale Foundation during one of their two starlight cruises—each lasting two hours—and enjoy live Hawaiian music and ono grinds. Part of the ongoing Maui Whale Festival, their cocktail cruise departs at 10:30pm from Maalaea Harbor and the dinner cruise departs at 10:45pm from Lahaina Harbor (Fri., Dec. 31). Merriman’s hosts a hoedown (Fri., Dec. 31; no cover) with Brown Chicken Brown Cow, serving their regular menu from 5-6:30pm, followed by a special four-course dinner from 8:30-10pm ($125). Follow it up the following day at Maui Brewing Co., which is reintroducing weekly entertainment to kick off the New Year (beginning Sat., Jan. 1; no cover). Hop between sister locales Captain Jack’s Island Grill and Cool Cat Cafe for a double-dose of music, dancing, party favors and drink specials (Fri., Dec. 31; 10:30pm). Kimo’s has killa entertainment with DJ Unique (Fri., Dec. 31; 9:30pm-12:30am), and TiaJuana’s Cantina conjures the one and only Throwdowns, with a midnight champagne toast and party favors included with ticket (Fri., Dec. 31; $20 advance/$30 door; 9pm). At The Underground—the island’s newest (and only) underage nightclub—Maui’s under-21-ers finally have a place to party into the wee hours of the morning, sans bubbly (Fri. & Sat., Dec. 31 & Jan. 1; 7pm-2am; $10). Friday features DJ Blast, DJ Decka and DJ AstroRaph, and Saturday showcases DJ Daniel J, John Scott and Soundsex. As always, it’s a drug-and alcohol-free event, with a zero-tolerance policy (i.e. you’ll be 86’d for life if you break the rules), and those under 16 years old are subject to a Cinderellaesque situation (i.e. gotta bounce by 12am). Timba is as swanky as ever, with their B&W themed party. Tickets include free accessories (feather boas, tiaras, etc.) and a 187ml bottle of champagne just for you. Last year, Timba sold out nearly a week before the event, so if you want to ensure your spot, call for pre-sale tickets (Fri., Dec. 31; $35 advance; 9pm-2am). Umalu at the Hyatt Regency Resort and Spa again hosts their snazzy poolside sparkler party, with a la carte treats like chocolate-dipped strawberries and fine cheeses, plus goodies and entertainment by the Classic Knights (Fri., Dec. 31; 7pm-12am; no cover). And, the chefs at Japengo, the Hyatt’s newest eatery, offer a selection of New Year’s specials and cocktails (Fri, Dec. 31; 5:3010pm), while the resort’s Drums of the Pacific show offers a late night lu‘au including party favors and a champagne toast (Fri., Dec. 31; 9pm-12am). Riddum of Knowledge, Ras Lil Dread and The Fiyah Blaze Band take over Hard Rock Cafe for a night of roots, rock and reggae to ring in the New Year. The kitchen stays open to offer a bite-sized menu past 9pm, and tickets (a portion of which will be donated to the World Hunger organization) include champagne toast and party favors (Fri., Dec. 31; $20 advance/$25 door).

16 DECEMBER 23, 2010

SOUTH

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ew Year’s resolutions mean New Year’s Eve indulgences. Get your fine . dining fix at the Five Palms Restaurant during one of two exclusive seating times for their gourmet four-course dinner (Fri., Dec. 31; 5-6:30pm or 7-9:30pm; reservations required). Or start your night with a little spice at Monsoon India’s New Year’s Eve BYOB buffet and enjoy a magic show by Neil Bruce and violin music by Cambria Moss (Fri., Dec. 31; 5-9pm; $29.95). Get intimate and add a little island flare with the award-winning sounds of John Cruz and his band at Stella Blue’s. Friday night at Stella’s includes a stunning sevencourse dinner and midnight champagne toast, and music with Cruz continues on Saturday with a Supper Club installment (Fri., Dec. 31; 8pm-12:30am; $100 / Sat., Jan. 1; 6pm; $60 four-course dinner/$30 show only). Three’s Bar & Grill offers a four-course dinner ($55; includes three glasses of sparkling wine), but you’ll want to stay late for their black-light party that kicks off with Arise, followed by metalicious Moth—and a laser light show—at midnight. Plus, they’re doling out giveaways for the first 50 patrons and offering $3 champagne specials (Fri., Dec. 31; 9pm; $5). If you’re all dressed up, you’ve got somewhere to go: The South Shore Tiki Lounge is requesting you dress to the nines—bling and boas encouraged—for a smooth criminal party that’s one part gangster and one part gorgeous. If you call and reserve a VIP table, you’ll get gobs of goodies like feathered tiaras and noisemakers (Fri., Dec. 31; 10pm; no cover). Mulligans on the Blue partners with Maui Tribe to present a New Year’s extravaganza with the one and only Willie K, plus Gail Swanson and Ka‘ena Elaban. Whatever party plan you choose—either the buffet dinner/show package ($75) or show-only tickets ($25)—make sure you get your tickets early, as this event sells out annually (Fri., Dec. 31; dinner starts at 7pm, last seating at 8:30pm). “Ambrosia’s Next Top DJ” winner DJ Mats headlines a night of dancing—plus free party favors for all. They’re doing something unique with their hourly shot specials—so wherever in the world it’s turning 2011, there’s a locale-inspired drink available. Like, when the ball drops in NYC, you can down a “New York Motherfucker.” When it’s party time in the Lone Star State, buy a round of “Texas Twisters.” Or when they’re kissing in Colorado, top off a “Colorado Bulldog.” Come Saturday night—if you’re still ready and rearing while the rest of the world is recovering— Ambrosia has you covered with turntable tunes by DJ Decka and $2-off tequila drink specials (Fri. & Sat., Dec. 31 & Jan. 1; 9:30pm-2am).Oceans offers a little something for everyone, with entertainment including Dat Guyz, Pac Vibes and DJ Stylz (Fri., Dec. 31; 9pm; no cover).

CENTRAL/ UPCOUNTRY

F

or early NYE entertainment, make sure you check out the MACC’s McCoy Studio Theater for Solo Sessions with Barry Flanagan, where Flanagan will share stories and insights from his career (Thurs., Dec. 30; 7:30pm; $25/$45 VIP). Since we’re coming into the Year of the Rabbit, a special “New Year’s Eve Romp” benefit will be held in support of arts education on Maui (with special thanks to Maui Elite Gymnastics Academy, Queen Kaahumanu Center, MEO, Next Level Theater Productions and Source Maui; call their info hotline for details: 495-0099). Feel like a hot, famous person at the one and only Kahului Ale House’s red carpet night. Dance off your regrets and make your resolutions to the sultry stylings of Next Level Entertainment DJs, special guest DJs and smokin’ go-go dancers. Included with price of ticket are cool party favors for the first 100 guests, a midnight pupu buffet and champagne toast (and don’t miss their special ice shots—i.e. shots poured into glasses formed of ice), and arrive preparty for extended happy hour specials, live Hawaiian music and a screening of the Times Square ball drop (Fri., Dec. 31; 7pm; $20). Makawao’s Casanova restaurant lives up to its synonymous-with-seduction namesake, offering a night of erotic NYE festivities. The digs are dressed up with decor by Next Level Theater Productions, and dancers twirl on poles while Marasco and DJ SID spin vinyl. Complimentary champagne toast at midnight, plus purrfect sideshow acts by Kit Kat Club Production and exotic body painting by Maya . (Fri., Dec. 31; 9:30pm; $25 door).

T

hat our strange little orb hurtles 584 million miles around the Sun every 365 days (that’s 66,700 miles an hour, according to NASA!) is certainly something to celebrate. And so the Earth over, we collectively consecrate our new elliptical embarkation with libations and noisemakers, fireworks and midnight kisses, reflecting on the year gone by and making resolutions for the year to come. But why on January 1? And why with our weird traditions?

POLITICS IS EVERYTHING Julius Caesar introduced his calendar in 45 B.C., moving the start of the year (i.e. the time when Roman consuls were to enter office) from March to January 1. However, it wasn’t until the centuries following Pope Gregory XIII’s 1582 reformation of the Julian calendar that many world countries adopted the Gregorian version and began to embrace January 1 as the first of the year. Though, oddly enough, the acceptance of January 1 as the New Year, in many countries, preceded the use of the Gregorian calendar at large—sometimes by more than a century.

BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE Since ancient times, cross-cultural superstitions led to the widespread use of fireworks and noisemakers as a way to dispel the wrathful works of evil spirits. The Chinese (whose New Year waits until February) are duly given credit for fireworks’ discovery. But 7th century Byzantine Greeks are credited for the origins of the unassuming sparkler, with their creation of a fiery, pitch-based wartime implement called “Greek fire” used in naval battle. Today, pyrotechnics are pure entertainment, built—at great expense—with naught but shock-and-awe aesthetics in mind. If the cleansing of evil is still what you’re after, just imagine that’s what you’re doing when sweeping up all the opala the next morning.

SCIENCE OF CHAMPAGNE

INDEX Ambrosia, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 891-1011; ambrosiamaui.com Captain Jack’s Island Grill, 672 Front St., Lahaina; 667-0988 Casanova, 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao; 572-0220 Cool Cat Cafe, Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina; 667-0908; coolcatcafe.com Drums of the Pacific 2525 Kaanapali Pkwy, Hyatt Regency Maui Resort and Spa, Lahaina; 661-1234 Five Palms Restaurant, 2960 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 879-2607; fivepalmsrestaurant.com Hard Rock Cafe 900 Front St., Lahaina; 667-7400 Japengo 2525 Kaanapali Pkwy, Hyatt Regency Maui Resort and Spa, Lahaina; 661-1234 Kahului Ale House, 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului; 877-9001; alehouse.net Kimo’s Restaurant, 845 Front St., Lahaina; 661-4811; kimosmaui.com Maui Brewing Co. Brewpub, Kahana Gateway Center, 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana; 669-3474; mauibrewingco.com Mulligans on the Blue, 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea; 874-1131 Pacific Whale Foundation, 300 Maalaea Rd., Ste. 100, Maalaea; 249-8811; pacificwhale.org Maui Theatre, 878 Front Street (Old Lahaina Center), Lahaina; 856-7973; mauitheatre.com / ticketmaster.com McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-7469; mauiarts.org Merriman’s, 1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina; 669-6400 Monsoon India, 760 S. Kihei Rd, Kihei; 875-4555 Oceans Beach Bar & Grill - 1819 S. Kihei Rd.; 891-2414 South Shore Tiki Lounge, Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 874-6444; southshoretikilounge.com Stella Blues Cafe, 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei; 874-3779; stellablues.com Three’s Bar & Grill, 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei; 879-3133 TiaJuana’s Cantina, 2291 Kaanapali Pkwy., Lahaina; 667-4080 Timba, 505 Front St., Lahaina; 463-1371; timbamaui.com Umalu 2525 Kaanapali Pkwy, Hyatt Regency Maui Resort and Spa, Lahaina; 661-1234 The Underground, 744 Front St., Lahaina; lovelighthawaii.com

New studies have revealed that it’s the bubbles in bubbly that make it so appealing. French scientists used a technique called mass spectroscopy to assess the surface of sparkling wine, finding that an average bottle releases 5 liters of carbon dioxide. Aromatic fatty acids are thus expelled as aerosols, creating a lustrous fizz that can fruitfully augment flavor. The best, of course, is real champagne—exclusively from France’s famed Champagne province—wherein wine has undergone methode champenoise, a complex traditional practice including a second fermentation. On the other hand, processes for making the cheap stuff (and at the end of the night, does it really matter?) are as simple as injecting CO2 into wine, not unlike the way soda pop is made. But why is champagne the standard celebratory sippable? Thanks to astute 18th century marketing, royalty used it as a status symbol at parties and coronations, making the drink synonymous with class in a glass.

SEAL IT WITH A KISS No one seems to know the roots as to why, but superstition holds that a kiss-less New Year’s night heralds a year of loneliness (hmm… I’m guessing it was some susceptible, loose-lipped wench who first fell for a pickup line from a pubdrunk bloke, despite his Bubonic-ish ulcer, and the rest is history). But really, does kissing need a reason? Whether or not you’re sloppy drunk, snogging your dearest (or nearest) at the stroke of midnight is fun—whatever the past year brought and whatever the new one may bring. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1427a

DECEMBER 23, 2010 17

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Showtimes FIRSTLIGHT

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: everyday until 4pm) The Fighter - R - WED-THU 11:30, 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30. Little Fockers - PG13 - THU-WED 11:00, 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8:00, 10:15. Tron: Legacy (2D) - PG - THU-WED 11:15, 1:55, 4:35, 7:15, 9:55. True Grit - PG13 - THU-MON 12:00, 2:25, 4:50, 7:15, 9:40. TUE 1:00, 3:25, 5:50, 8:15. WED 12:00, 2:25, 4:50, 7:15, 9:40.

Castle Theater, MACC, 579-9244 Biutiful - R - WED 5:30. CertiďŹ ed Copy - WED 8:00. For Colored Girls - R - SUN 6:00. Legend of the Guardians (2D) - PG - SUN 2:00. Mao’s Last Dancer - SUN 4:00. My Dog Tulip - TUE 6:00. Never Let Me Go - R - TUE 4:00. Rabbit Hole - PG13 - TUE 8:00. Somewhere - R - SUN 8:00. The Tempest - PG13 - MON 8:00. Tiny Furniture - MON 6:00. True Grit - PG13 - THU 8:00. Waste Land - WED 4:00. The Way Back - PG13 - THU 5:30. Winter’s Bone - R - MON 4:00.

FRONT STREET THEATER 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees) The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2D) - PG - THU-FRI (1:15, 4:00), 6:30, 9:15. SAT-SUN (1:00), 3:45, 6:30, 9:15. MON-WED (1:00, 3:45), 6:30, 9:15. Gulliver’s Travels (2D) - PG - SAT-SUN (1:15), 4:00, 6:30, 9:00. MON-WED (1:15, 4:00), 6:30, 9:00. How Do You Know - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:30, 4:15), 7:00, 9:45. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:15, 7:00, 9:45. MON-WED (1:30, 4:15), 7:00, 9:45. Tangled (2D) - PG - THU-FRI (1:00, 3:45), 6:30, 9:00. True Grit - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 10:00. SAT-SUN (1:45), 4:30, 7:15, 10:00. MON-WED (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 10:00.

KA’AHUMANU 6

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: everyday until 4pm) Black Swan - R - THU-FRI 11:45, 2:10, 4:35, 7:05, 9:30. SUN-WED 11:45, 2:10, 4:35, 7:05, 9:30. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1 - PG13 - THU-FRI 12:45, 3:55, 7:05, 10:05. SUN-WED 12:45, 3:55, 7:05, 10:05. The Tourist - PG13 - THU-FRI 11:00, 11:55, 1:20, 2:15, 3:40, 4:40, 6:00, 7:00, 8:20, 9:35, 10:45. SUN-WED 11:00, 11:55, 1:20, 2:15, 3:40, 4:40, 6:00, 7:00, 8:20, 9:35, 10:45. Tron: Legacy (2D) - PG - THU-FRI 12:00, 2:40, 5:20, 8:00, 10:40. SUN-WED 12:00, 2:40, 5:20, 8:00, 10:40. Tron: Legacy (3D) - PG - THU-FRI 11:00, 1:40, 4:20, 7:00, 9:40. SUN-WED 11:00, 1:40, 4:20, 7:00, 9:40.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees) The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (3D) - PG - THU (1:40, 4:15), 6:55, 9:35. FRI (1:40), 4:15, 6:55. SAT-SUN (1:40), 4:15, 6:55, 9:35. MON-WED (1:40, 4:15), 6:55, 9:35. The Fighter - R - THU (1:25, 4:05), 6:45, 9:25. FRI (1:25), 4:05, 6:45. SAT-SUN (1:25), 4:05, 6:45, 9:25. MON-WED (1:25, 4:05), 6:45, 9:25. The Fighter (Sony Digital) - R - THU 7:15, 9:55. FRI (1:25), 4:05, 6:45. SATSUN 7:15, 9:55. MON-WED 7:15, 9:55. Gulliver’s Travels (3D) - PG - SAT-SUN (12:00, 2:25), 4:50, 7:15, 9:40. MONWED (12:00, 2:25, 4:50), 7:15, 9:40. How Do You Know - PG13 - THU (12:50, 1:35, 3:40), 6:30, 7:10, 9:20. FRI (12:50, 1:35), 3:40, 6:30, 7:10. SAT-SUN (12:50, 1:35), 3:40, 6:30, 7:10, 9:20. MON-WED (12:50, 1:35, 3:40), 6:30, 7:10, 9:20. Little Fockers - PG13 - THU (12:15, 2:40, 5:05), 7:30, 10:00. FRI (12:15, 2:40), 5:05. SAT-SUN (12:15, 2:40), 5:05, 7:30, 10:00. MON-WED (12:15, 2:40, 5:05), 7:30, 10:00. Little Fockers (Sony Digital) - PG13 - THU (2:10, 4:35), 7:00, 9:30. FRI (2:10), 4:35, 7:00. SAT-SUN (2:10), 4:25, 7:00, 9:30. MON-WED (2:10, 4:25), 7:00, 9:30. Tangled (2D) - PG - THU (1:30, 3:55), 620, 8:45. FRI (1:30), 3:55, 6:20. SATSUN (1:30), 3:55, 6:20, 8:45. MON-WED (1:30, 3:55), 6:20, 8:45. Tangled (3D) - PG13 - THU (12:00, 2:25, 4:50), 7:15, 9:40. FRI (12:00, 2:25), 4:50, 7:15. True Grit - PG13 - THU (1:30, 4:05), 6:40, 9:15. FRI (1:30), 4:05, 6:40. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:05, 6:40, 9:15. MON-WED (1:30, 4:05), 6:40, 9:15. True Grit (Sony Digital) - PG - THU (2:00, 4:35), 7:10, 9:45. FRI (2:00), 4:35, 7:10. SAT-SUN (2:00), 4:35, 7:10, 9:45. MON-WED (2:00, 4:35), 7:10, 9:45. Yogi Bear (3D) - PG - THU (12:00, 2:10, 4:20), 6:30, 8:40. FRI (12:00, 2:10), 4:20, 6:30. SAT-SUN (12:00, 2:10), 4:20, 6:30, 8:40. MON-WED (12:00, 2:10, 4:20), 6:30, 8:40. Yogi Bear (Sony Digital) - PG - THU (12:45, 2:55, 5:05). FRI (12:45, 2:55), 5:05. SAT-SUN (12:45, 2:55), 5:05. MON-WED (12:45, 2:55, 5:05). WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees) Little Fockers - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:15, 3:45), 7:15, 9:45. SAT-SUN (1:15), 3:45, 7:15. MON-WED (1:15, 3:45), 7:15, 9:45. Tron: Legacy (2D) - PG - THU-FRI (1:05, 4:00), 7:00. SAT-SUN (1:05), 4:00, 7:00. MON-WED (1:05, 4:00), 7:00, 9:55. Yogi Bear (3D) - PG - THU-FRI (1:30, 3:45), 6:30, 9:00. SAT-SUN (1:30), 3:45, 6:30, 9:00. MON-WED (1:30, 3:45), 6:30, 9:00.

New This Week

Schaefer International Gallery Wed - Sun 11 am-5 pm

Upcoming Exhibit

THE LEGACY OF LAND

JDQXDU\ - )HEUXDU\

UPCOMING SHOWS www.MauiFilmFestival.com

LITTLE FOCKERS - PG13 - Comedy Apparently two movies weren’t enough for Ben Stiller and Bob De Niro to work out their issues. And now there are kids involved. 83 min.

FIRSTLIGHT ACADEMY SCREENINGS DEC 23, 26-30 & JAN 2

Founder of musical duo, HAPA

SOLO SESSIONS w/BARRY FLANAGAN

GULLIVER’S TRAVELS - PG - Comedy, Fantasy - Jonathan Swift’s 18th century adventure gets an update, Jack Black-style. Next up: Will Ferrell as Captain Nemo. 85 min.

7+85 ‡ DEC 30 ‡ 0FCR\ ‡ 30SP Acoustic Guitar Virtuoso

NOW SHOWING

LEO KOTTKE

BLACK SWAN - R - Drama, Horror - Thought ballet was all pointe shoes and demi-pliĂŠs? Think again. Natalie Portman stars. 109 min. THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER - PG - Fantasy - Pasty-faced British kids and CGI animals hit the high seas in the third film installment of C.S. Lewis’s beloved series. 115 min. THE FIGHTER - R - Drama - A working class boxer nicknamed “Irishâ€? (code, as ever, for “whiteâ€?) fights for respect in and out of the ring. Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale star. 116 min. HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS, PART 1 - PG13 - Fantasy - Harry enters his final year at Hogwarts with bigger problems than getting financial aid for wizard college. 149 min.

7+85 ‡ JAN 6 ‡ CDVWOH ‡ 30SP 61st Warren Miller’s Xtreme Ski Film

Yeah, we want to gouge our eyes out, too. (Little Fockers)

WINTERVENTION 6A7 ‡ JAN ‡ CDVWOH ‡ 30SP

Electronic Music-New Media Art

HOW DO YOU KNOW - PG13 - Comedy Owen Wilson, Reese Witherspoon and Paul Rudd form a love triangle, with Jack Nicholson thrown in to screw up the geometry. 136 min. TANGLED - PG - Animated - Running out of fairy tales to sprinkle with empowering modern messages and pop culture references, Hollywood turns to Rapunzel. 115 min. THE TOURIST - PG13 - Drama - Smoldering

good looks and vague accents collide as Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie share the screen. The plot? Come on, you don’t care about the plot. 104 min. TRON LEGACY - PG - Action - A sequel 28 years in the making. Strap yourselves in, geeks, and enjoy the ride. 141 min. YOGI BEAR 3D - PG - Family, Animated - An existential meditation on love, yearning and the meaning of picnic baskets. 98 min.

CHRISTOPHER WILLITS 68N ‡ JAN ‡ 0FCR\ ‡ SP

Box Office: 10 AM - 3M ‡ MO1 - SAT

242-SHOW .MauiArts. 7469

WWW

ORG

The Maui Arts & Cultural Center is a 501(c)3 nRnSrRĂ€t RrJani]atiRn PaGe SRssiEle E\ the JenerRsit\ RI SeRSle ZhR lRYe Maui

DECEMBER 23, 2010 19

PICKS

This Week's Picks

DIVERSIONS, DALLIANCES & DATES

Nice

...And Naughty

I’ve never believed in Santa Claus, though not for lack of trying. Mom says she’d try—and fail—to encourage me, but finally gave up. I guess there’s no convincing inherently cocked-brow keiki of anything (especially regarding the third-creepiest holiday character, after the Tooth Fairy and Cupid). But as silly as I’ve always found Santa, I’m no Scrooge. Keiki should have their Christmastime fun— and there’s plenty to be found this week. While you’re finishing up last-minute gift buying at the Lahaina Arts Society’s banyan tree craft fair, keiki can engage themselves in Christmas craft projects and enjoy the cool tickle of professional face painting (December 24 & 26; 11am-4pm). You can also send your right-brained babies (ages 5 and up) to Camp Kalaunui’s “Winter Wonderland” at the Hui No’eau for a week’s worth of wintertime arts immersion (December 23-29; 9am-4pm), or join artistic forces in the Makena Beach & Golf Resort’s sandman building contest, for a chance to win great prizes (December 23; 10-11:30am). For kids eager to meet the Big Guy in person, unique ways abound. Santa sails in to the Maluaka Beach (in front of the resort formerly known as the Prince), and brings with him helper elves and a big bag of free treats (December 24; 10-11:30am). Also, Scuba Claus makes daily appearances at the Maui Ocean Center, wearing a special dive mask that allows him to interact with audiences while he’s immersed in the aquarium’s Open Ocean exhibit (through December 25; 11am & 3pm).

Maybe you’ve never baked a bun in your oven. Maybe your stork’s gift has already flown the coop. Maybe you snagged the last available babysitter between here and Bermuda. Whatever your reason, if you’re not staying up ’til 2am playing Santa— but want to stay up late anyway—there’s an after-dark X-mas party perfect for you. Upcountry, Casanova hosts a “Nightmare B4 X-mas Party” (dress in black!) featuring booty bass, hip hop and dubstep by DJ Kurt (December 24; 9:45pm). Plus, return on Christmas night for “It’s a White Christmas Party” (dress in white!), a benefit for the Maui Food Bank and The Source featuring the funky, old school spins of DJ Sweet Beets and DJ SID (December 25; 9:45pm). On the West side, support Lahainaluna’s Class of 2001 by attending their fundraiser at Lulu’s Lahaina with An Den and Sounds of Addiction (December 23; 9pm); or look cool lounging on Timba’s plush, eggnog-colored seats while sipping something saucy (December 24; 9pm-2am). South-siders are spoilt for choice with Oceans Beach Bar & Grill’s Christmas Eve-Eve hip hop event (December 23; 10pm), a rockin’ X-mas Eve party at Diamonds (December 24; 10pm), and yet another bash at Three’s Bar & Grill (December 24; 10pm). Also, Ambrosia hosts hopping dance parties on both Christmas Eve and Christmas day, with “Ambrosia’s Next Top DJ” winner DJ Mats and DJ Decka spinning. Of course, Mulligans on the Blue offers something festive any night of the week. The Willie K Christmas Series continues with Uncle Willie sharing holiday tunes (December 23, 27, 28 & 29; 7-9pm). You can also spend Christmas Eve at Mulligans with the lovely Gail Swanson (December 24; 6:30-8:30pm), or enjoy Christmas dinner while Murray Thorne performs (December 25; 5-8pm).

20 DECEMBER 23, 2010

BY ANU YAGI anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

Ooh Baby, It’s a Whale World

Some Fantasticks

December 23 & 24, 6-10pm, Wyland Galleries, Front St., Lahaina, free

January 7-9 & 13-16, ProArts Playhouse, Azeka Makai Shopping Center, Kihei, $25 adult / $20 keiki

I’m afraid that by admitting this I might be excommunicated from “the art capitol of the Pacific,” but I’m always getting Wyland and Christian Reese Lassen mixed up. Both are big-name Hawaii-based artists with a penchant for painting marine mammals with a mystical, sunset-drenched slant—so you can see how I might confuse the two. The easiest way to tell them apart is that Wyland’s work tends to be larger-format—he’s famous for his building-sized murals. Lassen, on the other hand, looks like he longs to be Fabio (or at least model for romance novella covers), and his paintings tend to incorporate images of Disney characters (yes, alongside solar system swimming dolphins). But I digress. Wyland will be unveiling new work at Lahaina’s Wyland Galleries—on Thursday and Friday only—plus creating a new oil painting each night, to be auctioned at the close of the evening. Also, he’ll be demonstrating his skill in the styles of Japanese sumi-e and Chinese brush painting, creating on-site commissioned works for patrons who are so inclined. As Wyland’s hands will be busied by brushes, he will not be available for autographs, though a limited number of signed books will be made available each night. (Post scrip apologies to Lassen super fans, as I did indeed intend to offend. See you at the “Dolphins & Teleportation Symposium” in Kona next summer.) 800-995-2630 / wylandgalleries.com

I don’t know what feels worse—my embarrassment over several failed attempts to see The Fantasticks at the ProArts Playhouse, or the simple fact I have not yet enjoyed it. Because though I haven’t witnessed their rendition firsthand, I know it’s going to be, well, fantastic. So while I’m not in the habit of plugging an event that’s not this weekend (the show opened on December 18, but they’re on Christmas break), I want to give you as much time to plan to see it as I’ve wound up needing. Every production I’ve seen from ProArts has been topnotch (they’re the fine folks who’ve brought us Urinetown and Cabaret), and this production boasts some of my favorite Maui players, like Tom Althouse, Dale Button and Kalani Whitford, plus Robert Wills, Leighanna Locke, Jonathan Lehman, John Peterson and James Natividad. Based on a book and lyrics by Tom Jones and music by Harvey Schmidt, The Fantasticks tells the story of “a young man and the girl next door, whose feuding parents have built a wall to keep them apart [where] their parents congratulate themselves, for they have staged the feud in order to achieve, by negation, a marriage between their disobedient children.” 463-6520 / proartspacific.com

A CHANCE TO WEAR YOUR FINERY, FLASH YOUR GEMS AND PUT ON YOUR DANCING SHOES! VIP TREATMENT FOR LADIES B4 11:00PM / FREE CHAMPAGNE AT MIDNIGHT! MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING. DINE AND DANCE AT CASANOVA. $25 AT THE DOOR. $20 WITH DINNER RESERVATIONS. CALL 572-0220 FOR INFORMATION AND RESERVATIONS VISIT WWW.CASANOVAMAUI.COM

DECEMBER 23, 2010 21

BY ANU YAGI

CALENDAR

anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

Da Kine Calendar ANNOUNCEMENTS CALL FOR ENTRIES: ANNUAL JURIED EXHIBITION 2011 / SOLO EXHIBITION 2011 - Dec 30 is the receiving date for the multimedia juried exhibition (with juror Vince Hazen). Show runs January 8 - February 18. Proposals for the solo exhibition are due January 10, with the show running June 18 through July 23. Hui No’eau Visual Arts Center, 2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao; 808-572-6560; http://huinoeau.com ‘TIS THE SEA-SON FOR SHARING - Help the hungry of Maui County this holiday season. Those who bring in at least two food items for the aquarium’s food drive or make a financial contribution to the Maui Food Bank will receive a free “Something’s Fishy” bumper sticker or turtle window decal. 9am-5pm. Maui Ocean Center, 192 Ma’alaea Rd., Ma`alaea; 808-270-7000; mauioceancenter.com GIFT WRAPPING - Thu & Fri, Dec 23 & 24. Wailuku Church of God (near Longs; 9am-8am) and St. Anne Church (near Kahului Florist; 12pm-close) provide gift wrapping services through Christmas Eve. Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-871-1307; mauimall.com GRAND OPENING: THE GREEN GARAGE - The Green Garage is Maui’s newest — and now largest — locally owned thrift & consignment store. Celebrate their grand opening with extended holiday hours (9am9pm) on December 23. The Green Garage, 400 Hana Hwy., Kahului; 808-344-2269; greengaragemaui.com

ARE SENDING YOU TO TOOL!

ALL WRAPPED UP - Thu & Fri, Dec 23 & 24. Habitat For Humanity provides gift wrapping services on December 23 (2-10pm) and December 24 (11am-6pm). Queen Kaahumanu Shopping Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; queenkaahumanucenter.com PUBLIC LIBRARIES CLOSURE - In observance of the Christmas holiday, all public libraries will be closed on December 25 & 26. However, so you bibliomaniacs can check-out your weekend fix, the Kihei and Lahaina libraries will be open on Christmas Eve.; librarieshawaii.org

TICKETS ON SALE SOLO SESSIONS WITH BARRY FLANAGAN - Thu, Dec 30. This intimate MACC series continues with Barry Flanagan, founder of the musical duo Hapa. He will share stories and inspiration behind his music. $25 / $25 VIP. 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org

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22 DECEMBER 23, 2010

THE MICK FLEETWOOD BLUES BAND - Thu, Dec 30. Celebrating the Maui Celebrities Series one year anniversary. Band features Mick Fleetwood, Rick Vito, Lenny Castellanos and Mark Johnstone. Plus, Eric Gilliom and Gretchen Rhodes. Also, crooner Brian Evans joins returning guests William Shatner, Cheech Marin, Tom Arnold, Hal Sparks, Shawn Hatosy, and Nermin Zajic. 8pm. Maui Theatre, 878 Front St. (Old Lahaina Center), Lahaina; 808-8567973; mauitheatre.com / ticketmaster.com AN EVENING OF OF POETRY, COMEDY, THEATER & MUSIC - Sat, Jan 8. A benefit for the Maui Fringe Festival and Mana’o Radio. Featuring performances by Kathy Collins, Joel Katz, Murray Thorne, Cyrus Clarke, The Troublemakers Trio, Marja Apisaloma, Joe Bennedett, Mountain, Visions Conservatory and The Haiku Hillbillys. $10 advance / $12 door. 8-11pm. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku; 808-242-6969; mauionstage.com

KANAKA HEKILI M/C 5TH ANNUAL GOLF TOURNAMENT - Sat, Jan 15. Currently seeking golfers, sponsors and prize donations. Deadline for hole sponsorship is January 8. Deadline for tournament entry is January 13. A portion of the proceeds benefit Maui Veterans for Foreign Wars. $100. Elleair Ballroom at the Maui Beach Hotel, 170 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului; kanakahekili.com 2ND ANNUAL WINE WOMEN & SHOES EVENT - Sat, Jan 15. A snazzy benefit for Imua Family Services. $95 single ticket / $1,500 table. 10:30am2pm. Four Seasons Resort, 3900 Wailea Alanui Dr., Wailea; 808-244-7467; imuafamilyservices.org/ MAUI HUMANE SOCIETY’S ANNUAL FUR BALL - Sat, Feb 19. This beloved fundraising event will honor the service animals, men and women who have served our country in the armed forces, with the 2011 event theme “The Canine Canteen: Swing the Night Away.” Tickets and sponsorships now available. Grand Wailea Resort & Spa, Haleakala Ballroom, 3850 Wailea Alanui Dr., Wailea; 808-8773680 ext 32; mauihumanesociety.org DAMIAN MARLEY & NAS’S “DISTANT RELATIVES” TOUR - Sun, Feb 27. An all-ages show! Think of how sad you’ll be if you miss this. So stop at nothing to get your tickets. Because “it’s a journey, some will get left behind / ‘cause in life you cannot press rewind.” $40. Events Lawn, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org

STAGE “THE FANTASTICKS” - For 12 performances, opening December 10 and running through January 16. A wonderful parable of love, from a book and lyrics by Tom Jones and music by Harvey Schmidt. $25 adults / $20 keiki under 12. ProArts Playhouse, 1280 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 808-463-6520; proartspacific.com CIRQUE POLYNESIA - Mon-Sat. It’s Circue du Soleil meets Polynesian hula with amazing high-wire acts, aerial acrobatics and illusions, and mind-boggling contortionist and balancing-acts. Call for their Kama’aina special. Starting at $62; deals for kids. 6pm. Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa, 200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali; 808-667-4540; http://maui.hyatt.com “LITTLE WOMEN” - THE MUSICAL - December 27-30. Louisa May Alcott’s “Little Women” comes to Maui as a delightful musical, performed by the Hana Theatrical Players. Among the many notables are Joyce MitchellMynar and Linda Enriquez Meyer (co-directors/stars), plus Kelly Kristofferson as Jo. $15 / $25 / $50. 7-10am. Wananalua Church, 10 Hauoli Rd. - off the Hana Hwy., Hana; 808-248-7569

FOODIE CHRISTMAS DAY BUFFET - Sat, Dec 25. Who wants to cook and clean on Christmas? Why not spice it up at this Kihei hub’s BYOB buffet. $29.95. 5-9pm. Monsoon India, 760 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 808-875-4555 CHRISTMAS LU’AU - Sat, Dec 25. For the holiday, additional lu’au menu items include roasted Diesel Farm turkey, Portuguese sausage with chestnut stuffing, and pumpkin and pecan squares. Onolicious! $96 adults / $49-$61 keiki. 5pm. Drums of the Pacific Luau, 200 Nohea Kai Dr., Lahaina; 808-661-1234

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

12/23

12/24

12/25

12/26

12/27 - 12/29

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Ladies Night w/ DJ Jamn J, 9pm

Bottoms Up Friday w/ DJ LX & Jay J, 10pm

AMBROSIA

Old School Thursdays w/ DJ Del Sol

Christmas Eve Bash w/ DJ Mats

Christmas Dance Party w/ DJ Decka

Live Music

Live Music

The Nightmare B4 Xmas 9:45pm; $5

It’s A White Christmas 9:45pm; $10

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY REST. 500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului - 873-6555

CASANOVA

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

Wave Train, 9pm; $5

Simma Down Sunday w/ DJ Jamn J, 10pm

MON- Karaoke, 8:30pm / TUE - Live Music w/ Island Soul 9pm / WED - Wild Wednesday w/ Bad Kitty, 8pm

Sunday Night Fever w/ DJ CIA

MON – Wolf & Ryan / TUE – Beat Down w / DJ Astro Raph / WED – Maui’s HI-5 Night (S.I.N.) w/ DJs Del Sol & CIA

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesdays goes “Back to the Future” w/ DJ Blast, 10pm; $10

Closed

Sunday Funday

TUE - Danyel Alana Trio, 9pm; $5 WED - DJ Boomshot & DJ Jay P, 10pm; $5

Barefoot Minded 7:30 - 10pm; No Cover

Closed

Closed

Erin Smith 7:30 - 10pm; No Cover

MON - Peter D / TUE - Live Jazz / WED - Ryan Palma (All sets 7:30 - 10pm; No Cover)

DIAMONDS ICE BAR

House Music 10pm; No Cover

Rockin’ X-mas Eve Party 10pm; No Cover

Merry Christmas

Live Music 10pm; No Cover

MON - Gomega, 10pm / TUE - Supah Dupah Reggae Band, 10pm / WED - Heavy Hitters Punch Lines, 8pm / Ron & Rob, 10pm

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB

Quiz Night 8pm; No Cover

Jarod 10pm; No Cover

Merry Christmas

Kanoe 10pm; No Cover

MON – Ka’ena Elaban / TUE – Jordan & Wolf / WED – Jessica & Kanoa (all sets 10pm; No Cover)

Karaoke

Kanaka Jams 6:30-10:30pm No Cover

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON, TUE & WED - Karaoke

Rampage 9pm - Close

Dat Guyz 9pm - Close

Merry Christmas

Karaoke

MON - Karaoke / TUE - Karaoke Contest / WED - Open Mic Night

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Ashley Welte 7pm - Close; No Cover

Guest Performer 7pm - Close; No Cover

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - Close; No Cover

COOL CAT CAFE

Wharf Cinema, Lahaina - 667-0908

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

JAVA JAZZ

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. 667-0787

EVENTS THURSDAY, DEC 23 12 DAYS OF FISH-MAS - Continues through December 25. Special Dive Link presentations hosted by Scuba Claus — wearing a special dive mask that allows him to interact with guests — in the Open Ocean exhibit (11am & 3pm). Plus, enjoy themed dining specials, holiday giveaways and more. Maui Ocean Center, 192 Ma’alaea Rd., Ma`alaea; 808270-7000; mauioceancenter.com BLOOD DRIVE - Blood donors saved my life. Can’t hardly type the words without getting all verklempt! You can be a superhero, too, by calling and booking an appointment. Best of all, it’s easy peasy lemon squeezy. Continues on December 24. 7am-4pm. Maui Economic Opportunity, Inc., 99 Mahalani St., Wailuku; 1-800-372-9966 CAMP KALUANUI WINTER WONDERLAND - Keiki art classes for ages 5 and up. Continues through December 29. Call to register. 9am-4pm. Hui No’eau Visual Arts Center, 2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao; 808-572-6560; huinoeau.com SANDMAN BUILDING CONTEST - Um, hello? Doesn’t this sound like the coolest thing, um, ever?! Not to mention, they’re also doling out great prizes for best and most creative works. Free. 10-11:30am. Makena Beach & Golf Resort, 5400 Makena Alanui, Makena; 808-874-1111; makenaresortmaui.com/ Weddings/Special-Events-Catering.asp FREE CHILDREN’S ART & FACE PAINTING - Continues on December 24 & 26. Enjoy free keiki activities at the Lahaina Arts Association’s weekly craft fair. Free. 11am-4pm. Banyan Tree, Front St., Lahaina; 808-661-0111 MICHAEL KOLLWITZ - See this Champman Stick master do his stuff and pick up his holiday CDs, “Frosty the Stickman.” (Also, check him out at 9am at the Lahaina Arts Society fair, under the banyan tree, December 24-26.) Free. 6pm. Whalers Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Ka’anapali; 808-661-4567; whalersvillage.com UNVELING OF NEW WYLAND WORK: NIGHT ONE - Wyland reveals his latest work and creates a new oil painting live, auctioning off the original at the end of the night. He will also do on-site commission

Disaster Kit 8:30pm; No Cover

work for patrons in Japanese sumi-e and Chinese brush style. Continues on December 24. No Cover. 6-10pm. Wyland Galleries, 711 Front St., Lahaina; 1-800-995-2630; wylandgalleries.com/ HOLIDAY JAZZ - Featuring Phil & Angie Benoit with Marcus Johnson on bass and Paul Marchetti on drums, in the lower courtyard. Free. 6:30-8pm. The Shops at Wailea, 3750 Wailea Alanui, Wailea; 808891-6770; shopsatwailea.com KARAOKE BY ELEINA - Your 15 minutes of mall fame has arrived. Free. 6:30pm. Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-871-1307; mauimall.com HULA BY TE TIARE PATITIFA - Live performance. Free. 7pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina; 808-661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com MAUI COMMUNITY BAND Their finest songs they bring to this pa-rum-pa-pumpum performance. Free. 7pm. Queen Kaahumanu Shopping Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-877-3369; queenkaahumanucenter.com

WED - Karaoke

Brian Cuomo 7pm - Close; No Cover

808-874-1111; makenaresortmaui.com/Weddings/ Special-Events-Catering.asp BLOOD DRIVE - What better Christmas gift than the gift of life? Continued from December 23. 7am-4pm. Maui Economic Opportunity, Inc., 99 Mahalani St., Wailuku; 1-800-372-9966

and head to this Christmas party. Featuring DJ Sweet Beets & DJ SID’s old school and funky grooves. A benefit for the Maui Food Bank and The Source 2011: Interactive Arts Festival. $10. 10pm. Casanova, 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao; 808-5720220; casanovamaui.com

MAUI UNITED PENTECOSTAL CHURCH - Live performance. Free. 11am. Queen Kaahumanu Shopping Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808877-3369; queenkaahumanucenter.com

CHRISTMAS DAY DANCE PARTY - Dance off the cookies and milk you snuck from Santa with beats by DJ Decka. No Cover. 10pm. Ambrosia, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 808-891-1011

NETO PERAZA - Live performance. Free. 1pm. Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808871-1307; mauimall.com

TUESDAY, DEC 28

OIL PAINTING DEMONSTRATION - Jack Hamilton showcases his artistic skills. Free. 4-7pm. Maui Hands, Lahaina, 612 Front St., Ste. D, Lahaina; 808667-9898; mauihands.com

SOME HERE. ALL ONLINE.

UNVELING OF NEW WYLAND WORK: NIGHT TWO - Continued from December 23 (see Thursday’s events for more). In the interest of time given production of live works, no autographs will be allowed. But, a limited number of signed books will be made available. No Cover. 6-10pm. Wyland Galleries, 711 Front St., Lahaina; 1-800-9952630; wylandgalleries.com/

CALENDAR LISTINGS

NEW YORK ARTIST MIMI STUART - Continues on December 24. Stuart calls her signature style “energy of subject.” Her work is on display at the Museum of Flight at the Smithsonian and in many private collections. Meet her and enjoy the music of Kurt Lee. 7-10pm. Sargent’s Fine Art, 802 Front St., #A, Lahaina; 808-667-4030

ON MAUITIME.COM

LAHAINALUNA CLASS OF 2001 HOLIDAY PARTY FUNDRAISER - Featuring music by An Den and Sounds of Addiction. Lulu’s Lahaina, Lahaina Cannery Mall, Lahaina; 808-661-0808.

FRIDAY, DEC 24 SANTA SAILS IN - Santa’s canoe makes a beach landing in South Maui, bringing Jolly Ol’ Saint Nick with his bag of children’s holiday gifts. Take your keiki to this meet and greet and leave with a treat. Free. 10-11:30am. Maluaka Beach (front of former Maui Prince Hotel), 5400 Makena Alanui, Makena;

MON - Ashley Welte / TUE & WED - Rene Alonzo (All 7pm - Close; No Cover)

UNITY CHURCH’S CHRISTMAS EVE SERVICE AT IAO THEATER - Rev. Mary Omwake presents an inspirational Christmas Message. Free. 6:30pm. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku; 808-242-9327 THE NIGHTMARE B4 XMAS PARTY - Featuring DJ Kurt: The Black Party with booty bass, hip hop and dubstep. $5. 10pm. Casanova, 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao; 808-572-0220; casanovamaui.com

SATURDAY, DEC 25 It’s A White Christmas Party - Presents exchanged. Tryptophan overdose overcome. Now what? Don your winter white (so you’ll glow in the black light)

HA’IKU BOYS AND GIRLS CLUB BENEFIT - The holiday leftovers have been gobbled up. Now what? Well, ‘tis still the season to give (and get good grinds) for a good cause. The club receives a portion of the proceeds of each pizza sold, to be used for field trips and program supplies. 5-10pm. Flatbread Co., 89 Hana Hwy., Paia; 808-575-9024; bgca.org

WEDNESDAY, DEC 29 KEIKI HOLIDAY CRAFTS - Partake in a fun craft project, complimentary with aquarium admission, in the Marine Mammal Discovery Center. Plus, an intriguing story time, hosted by an Ocean Naturalist, in the Hawaiians and the Sea exhibit. 11am-2pm. Maui Ocean Center, 192 Ma’alaea Rd., Ma`alaea; 808-270-7000; mauioceancenter.com RED CARPET MOVIE NIGHT: “THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY” (1998) - If you’re stalking someone at this screening and forget your antihistamines, don’t freak out and ask her if she’s ever had a whitehead on her eyeball. That might not go over well. Free popcorn, on the other hand, always goes over well. No Cover. 7:30pm. Ambrosia, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 808-891-1011; ambrosiamaui.com

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CANOES - Fri, Howard Ahia 5:30-8:30pm; Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 808-661-0937. DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Thu, Ernie 3 – 5pm, Garrett & Peter 6 – 8:30pm; Fri, Garret 3 – 5pm, Kulewa 6 - 8:30pm; Sat, Mondo 3 – 5pm, Kulwea 6 - 8:30pm; Sun, Mondo 3 – 5pm, Ernie & Miles 6 – 8:30pm. 130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina, 808-662-2900.

DECEMBER 23, 2010 23

LIVE MUSIC ON THE NORTHSHORE!

“home of the $1 mai tai” Kihei’s BEST Sunset Cocktail Spot!

THURSDAY DEC 23

WAVE TRAIN $5 9PM FRIDAY DEC 24

OPEN 7AM - 10PM SATURDAY DEC 25

CLOSED

SUNDAY DEC 26

SUNDAY FUNDAY/NFL

DINNER PIZZA SPECIAL! BUY 1 GET 1 1/2 OFF!

MONDAY DEC 27

NFL / MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL! TUESDAY DEC 28

DANYEL ALANA TRIO $5 9PM WEDNESDAY DEC 29

DJ BOOMSHOT & DJ JAY P SPINNING SWEET BEATS ON THE NORTH SHORE. $5 10PM DRINK SPECIAL $2 WELL 10PM-12PM! BOOKING INFO: DYINGSONS@GMAIL.COM

142 HANA HWY, PAIA

808-573-8085

www.charleysmaui.com

24 DECEMBER 23, 2010

AUTHENTIC MEXICAN FOOD BURGERS SALADS Live Music Daily Sunset Happy Hour 3-7 Nightly Entertainment DON’T FORGET THE CONCERT AT THE MAUI THEATRE 12/30!

RAMPAGE

THURSDAY 23 9pm

KIHEI’S LEGENDARY WEEKLY REGGAE DANCE PARTY

DAT GUYZ

ORIGINAL AND ISLAND MUSIC FAVORITES

MELE KALIKIMAKA

FRIDAY 24 9pm SATURDAY 25

SUNDAY 26 8pm COME GET YOUR 2011 LAB CALENDAR SIGNED BY ALL THE GIRLS MONDAY 27 KARAOKE HAPPY HOUR PRICES ALL DAY!! 8pm

KARAOKE INDUSTRY NIGHT

KARAOKE CONTEST TUESDAY 28 PRIZES!! $1 TACOS $3 CORONAS $3 CUERVO SHOTS

9pm

CELEBRITY KARAOKE

WEDNESDAY 29 9pm PARTY WITH TOM ARNOLD,SHAWN HATOSY & BRIAN EVANS

1913 S Kihei Rd 808.891.8010 ACROSS FROM FOODLAND

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

12/23

12/24

12/25

12/26

12/27 - 12/29

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

KAHALE’S

Vince Esquire

Kenny Roberts

Eight Track Players

Kahala

MON, TUE & WED - Da-Ha-Y-Ns

1810

Ben & Glenn

Closed

Sam Ahia

MON & TUE - Sam Ahia

Bad Kitty 8-11pm

Billy & The Bad Dogs 8-11pm

Billy & The Bad Dogs

Gina Martinelli Band 6 - 9pm

MON - Kiwi Cowboys 6-9:30pm

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Aunty Toddy Lilikoi

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Aunty Toddy Lilikoi

LONGHI’S LAHAINA

Crazy Fingers 9pm - 1am; No Cover Karaoke w/ Manino 7:30-11pm; No Cover

MON - Service Industry Night WED - Karaoke w/ Toby, 7:30 - 11 pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei 875-7711

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KIWI ROADHOUSE

95 E. Lipoa St., Ste A101, Kihei - 874-1250

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S KIHEI

Live Salsa w/ Neto & Barbara 8-11pm / DJ Nexus 11pm-Close

Dezman, 8-11pm; $2 / DJ Canespider, 11pm; No Cover

Easy Listening w/ Neto 8pm / DJ AstroRaph, 10pm

LULU’S LAHAINA

Lahainaluna c/o ‘01 Holiday Party w/ An Den & Sounds of Addiction, 9:30; $10/$12

Cyrus Clark

X-clusive Saturday Nights w/ All Access’s DJ Money Mike

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

MON - Service Industry Night w/ All Access DJ & Junior TUE - Karaoke w/ Troy / WED Ladies Night w/ DJ Twizzy

MAUI BREWING CO.

WED - Open Mic Night, 10pm; No Cover

Kahana Gateway Center - 669-3474

MOANA CAFE

71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St. Kihei - 874-1131

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-2414

HULA GRILL - Thu, Bruddah Larry 11:30am – 1pm, Ernest Pua’a 2 - 4pm, Armadillo 4:15 – 6:15pm, Kulewa 6:30 - 9pm; Fri, Ernest Pua’a 11:30am – 1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 2 - 4pm, 1810 4:15 – 6:15pm, Kawika, Roy & Tarvin 6:30 - 9pm; Sat, Closed; Sun, Ron Hetteen 11:30am-1pm; Kawika Lum Ho 2-4pm; 1810 4:15-6:15; Derrick Sebastian Trio 6:30-9pm. Mon, Ernest Pua’a 11:30am – 1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 2 – 4pm, Armadillo 4:15 – 6:15pm, Derrick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30 - 9pm; Tue, Kawika Lum Ho 11:30 a.m – 1pm, Jarrett Roback 2 – 4pm, Ernest Pua’a 4:15 – 6:15pm, Ernest Pua’a & Friends 6:30 - 9pm; Wed, Mika Villaren 11:30am – 1pm, Ernest Pua’a 2 - 4pm, Peter DeAquino 4:15 – 6:15pm, Ernest, Roy & Tarvin 6:30 - 9pm Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Bldg P, Lahaina, 808-667-6636. LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Every Wed, Thu & Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Sat, Harry Troupe 7:30-9:30pm; Sun, Greg Di Piazza 7:30-9:30pm; Every Mon & Tue, Martin Tevaga 7:30-9:30pm 730 Front St., Lahaina, 808-661-0700. LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Every Fri, The J.D on the Rocks Band 2:30-5pm; Every Sat, JD & Harry 2:30-5pm; Every Sun, Kilohana 2:30-5pm Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy. Bldg. J, Ka’anapali, 808-661-4495. LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Every Thu, Classic Rock Thursdays featuring Howard Ahia 6-8pm; Fri, Cyrus Clark 5-7pm; Every Mon, Junior 8-9:30pm; Every Tue, Karaoke w/ Troy 8pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina, 808-661-0808. MERRIMAN’S - Tue, David Choy; Wed-Sun, Ranga Pae; Mon, Benoit Jazzworks. All sets 6-9pm. 1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina, 808-669-6400. PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Wed, Greg DiPiazza 6-8pm; Tue, Ah Tim 5:30-8:30pm 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 808-661-8881. SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT - Every Tue & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm; Every Sun & Thu, Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Sat, Coehlo Morrison 7-9pm; Every Mon & Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm 5900 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Napili, 808-669-1500. TIA JUANA’S CANTINA - Wed, Tableside Magic with Brenton Keith 6-9pm 2291 Kaanapali Pkwy., Lahaina, 808-667-4080. TROPICA - Every Fri, Soul Lounge 8 -10pm; Every Sat, Island Essence featuring DJ Zinn 8-10pm. Westin Maui Resort & Spa, 2365 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Ka’anapali, 808-662-2762.

Phil & Angie Benoit

DJ Music

TUE - Open Mic Night

Willie K Christmas Series / Pub Quiz Night w/ Trish “The Dish” Smith, 9pm

Christmas Eve w/ Gail Swanson, 6:30-8:30 / Ka’ena Elaban, 9pm-12am

Merry Christmas w/ Murray Thorne, 5-8pm

Christmas Eve Hip Hop Event

DJ Stylz, 10pm; No Cover

DJ Music, 10pm; No Cover

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Every Thu, Jamie Gallow (Christmas edition!) 7pm; Every Tue, “Glee” Screening 7pm. Every Wed, Red Carpet Movie Night (this week: “There’s Something About Mary”) 7:30pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-891-1011 BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Every Fri, Tom Cherry & Mike F. 5-9pm; Every Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm 300 Maalaea Rd. #1M, Maalaea, 808-243-2286. CAPISCHE? - Sat, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm 555 Kaukahi St., Kihei, 808-879-2224. HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Every Thu, Junior Lacuesta; Every Fri & Tue, Rick Glencross; Every Sat, Ryan Robinson & Wolf; Every Wed, Jordan Cudworth. (All Sets 4-8pm.) Sun, Mon & Tue, Karaoke 8pm; Wed, Open Mic 9pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., #E, Kihei, 808-874-1250. KIWI ROADHOUSE - Fri, Mango Pickers 5-7pm; Sat, Billy & The Bad Dogs 1pm; Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 6-9pm; Mon, Ron & Rob of The Crunch Pups 5-7pm. 95 E. Lipoa St., Ste. A101, Kihei, 808-874-1250.

The Celtic Tigers, 6-9:30pm Big John, 10pm-12am

PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 5:30-7:30 p.m. 34 Wailea Gateway Plaza, Wailea, 808-879-7177. SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Every Thu, Erin Smith; Every Fri, Randall Rospond; Every Sat, Tom Conway; Every Sun, Viva La Rumba; Every Mon, Kanoa; Every Tue, Sebrina Barron; Every Wed, Wolf. (All Sets 4-6pm) Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-874-6444. STELLA BLUES CAFE - Every Thu, Ah Tim 4-6pm; Every Fri, Ahumanu 4-6pm; Every Sun, Slam featuring David Choy 6-9pm; Mon, Jamie Lawrence 4-6pm ; Every Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Every Wed, Randall Rospond 4-8pm, Slam featuring David Choy 6pm-11pm; 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei, 808-874-3779. TAQUERIA CRUZ - Every Tue & Sat, Live Music Reggae, Jazz, Blues 5:308:30pm 2395 S. Kihei Rd. #112, Kihei, 808-875-2910.

SUBMIT YOUR

LISTINGS ONLINE

THREE’S BAR & GRILL Thu, Live Jazz; Fri, Jeff; Sat, Steff Lomeli; Mon, Cyrus Clark; Tue, Sammy Rouisse. (All sets 7pm) 1945-G S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-879-3133.

THE RED BAR AT GANNON’S, A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT - Thu, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm; Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm Wailea Golf Club House, 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., Wailea, 808-875-8080.

CALENDAR LISTINGS

LULU’S KIHEI - Fri, Salsa Lessons 7-8pm & Salsa Music w/ Neto & Barbara 8-11pm; Fri, Hula Show 5-7pm; Fri, Dezman 8-11pm; Sat, Hula Show 6-8pm; Sat, Easy Listening w/ Neto 8-11pm; Sun, Karaoke w/ Manino 7:30-11pm; Mon & Tue, Easy Listenting w/ Terry 5-7pm; Wed, Karaoke w/ Toby 7:30-11pm. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-879-9944.

MAUITIME.COM/LISTING

MONSOON INDIA - Every Sat, Romantic Violin & Guitar Duets by Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso 6:30-8:30pm; Every Tue, Hula Honeys 5:308:30pm 760 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-875-4555. MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu, Mon, Tue & Wed, Willie K Christmas Series 7-9pm; Fri, Christmas Eve w/ Gail Swanson 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Ka’ena Elaban 9pm-12am; Sat, Merry Christmas w/ Murray Thorne 5-8pm; Sun, The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley 6-9:30pm; Wed, Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks 5:45-7pm. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 808-874-1131.

TRADEWINDS POOLSIDE CAFE - Every Thu, Island Favorites w/ Kawika Lum Ho; Every Fri, Girls Nite Out with Gina Martinelli; Every Sat, Classic Rock with Dominic; Every Sun, Crunch Pups “Uncrunhed”; Every Mon, Bobby Ingram & Franklin Russell; Every Tue, Mike and Mark; Every Wed, Steve Sargenti. All no cover. 2259 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-891-8860.

CENTRAL MAUI

MON, TUE & WED - Willie K Christmas Series / MON - DJ Paul, 10pm-12am / TUE - Tin Can Comedy, 9-10pm / WED - Brenton Keith

CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY RESTAURANT Every night, Francois on piano; Every Fri & Sat, “Early Late Night” live music until 11pm; Every Sun, Fausto on acoustic guitar during brunch. 500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului, 808-873-6555.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI ALE HOUSE - Fri & Tue, Braddah Francis 4-8pm. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului; 808-877-9001. CAFE DES AMIS - Every Thu, Joe Conte plays The Chapman Stick; Every Sat, Live Argentinian Music; Every Wed, The Stone Violets 6:30-8:30pm. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 808-579-6323. GREEN BANANA CAFE - Every Tue, Thu & Sat, Polynesian Dance Coffee Luau 6pm.137 Hana Hwy., Paia, 808-579-9130. LOCAL MOCHA CAFE - Every Fri & Sat, Live Music 5-9pm. 81 Makawao Ave., Pukalani, 808-573-2859. MOANA BAKERY & CAFE - Every Thu, Phil & Angela Benoit 6:30-8:30pm; Every Tue, Open-Mic 6pm. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 808-579-9999.

RESORT SHOWS WEST MAUI Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa- 200 Nohea Kai Dr., 808-661-1234. UMALU - Live Music 7-9 p.m.; Daily, Torch Lighting Ceremony 5:30-6 p.m.; Daily (except Wed), Live Music 4-6 p.m. Kaanapali Beach Club - 104 Kaanapali Shores, 808-661-2000. OHANA BAR & GRILL - Every Wed & Thu, Live Music 5:30-9:30 p.m.; Every Sun, Thu & Sat, Torch Lighting Ceremony 5:30-9:30 p.m. Kaanapali Beach Hotel - 2525 Kaanapali Pkwy., 808-661-0011. KANAEHELE ROOM - Daily (except Sun & Mon), “Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages” 4:30-7:30 p.m. TIKI BAR & GRILL - Daily, Hula Show 6:30-7 p.m.; Every Tue & Wed, Leo Kane 6-9 p.m.; Every Sun & Mon, Kealaoka’ (Jason Fundang) 6-9 p.m.; Daily, Music by Lanui 6-9 p.m.

ALE HOUSE - Fri, Live Hawaiian Music 3-8pm. 355 Kamehameha, Kahului, 808-877-9001.

TIKI TERRACE RESTAURANT - Sun, Ka’anapali Champagne Brunch 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

CAFE O’LEI AT THE DUNES AT MAUI LANI - Thu, Reiko Fukina 5:30-8pm; Fri, Phil and Angela Benoit. 5:30-8pm.1333 Maui Lani Pkwy., Kahului, 808877-0073.

Marriot Maui Ocean Club - 100 Nohea Kai Dr., 808-667-1200. LONGBOARDS KA’ANAPALI - Daily, Solo guitarists and sunset hula dancers 5:30-8:30 p.m.; Every Sun, Miles Ahead Duo 8-11 a.m.; Every Wed,

DECEMBER 23, 2010 25

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26 DECEMBER 23, 2010

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

12/23

12/24

12/25

12/26

12/27 - 12/29

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

PINEAPPLE GRILLE

200 Kapalua Drv. Lahaina - 669-9600

Jawaiian Music w/ DJ Bruddah Damien

RB BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE

Smooth Jazz Sounds w/ Brian Cuomo & Friends, 7pm -10m Evan Almighty

4465 Honoapiilani Hwy, Lahaina - 669-8889

TUE - TBA / WED - Evan Almighty

SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke 10pm - 1am; No Cover

Free Karaoke 10pm - 1am; No Cover

Open Mic Night 10pm - 1am; No Cover

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke 10pm - 1am; No Cover

Free Karaoke 10pm - 1am; No Cover

Free Karaoke 10pm - 1am; No Cover

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

DJ Slackin 10pm - Close; No Cover

DJ Sonny 10pm - Close; No Cover

DJ LX 10pm - Close; No Cover

Kanoa of Gomega 10pm - Close; No Cover

MON - Kanoa / TUE - DJ LX / WED- The ADD Twins (All sets 10pm - Close; No Cover)

Ahumanu

Ahumanu

Merry Christmas

Slam feat. David Choy

MON-TJamie Lawrence / TUE - Tom Conway; WED Randall Rospond / Slam w/ David Choy

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; No Cover

Closed

Closed

Ben Korse Benefit w/ Arise, 10pm

Supernova Christmas Eve Bash, 9:30pm

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

Industry Night 9pm-2am; No Cover

X-mas Eve Party

Closed

Closed

MON - WED - Guest DJ 9pm-2am; No Cover

Soul Lounge 8-10pm

Island Essence w/ DJ Zinn 8-10pm

Karaoke

Merry Christmas

Free Karaoke

TUE - Thirsty Tuesday & Free Karaoke / WED - Free Karaoke

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 -879-0004

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

STELLA BLUE’S

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

TROPICA

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THE SHOPS AT WAILEA - Wed, Jamie Lawerence and friends 6:30-8:30 p.m.

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SUGAR CANE TRAIN - Thu, Sugar Cane Train Dinner 5 p.m.; Daily, Ride the Sugar Cane Train 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Warren & Annabelle’s - 900 Front St., 808-667-6244. WARREN & ANNABELLE’S - Daily (except Sun.), Warren & Annabelle’s Magic Show 5 p.m. Westin Maui Resort & Spa - 2365 Kaanapali Pkwy., 808-667-2525. ONO BAR & GRILL - Sun, Raz Shaggai 6-9 p.m.; Fri, Brian Haia 6-9 p.m.; Sat, Keali’i Lum 6-9 p.m.; Wed, Scott Baird Duo with James DeBose 6-9 p.m.

SOUTH MAUI Fairmont Kea Lani - 4100 Wailea Alanui, 808840-8402. FAIRMONT KEA LANI - Daily, Live Music 5:30-9:30 p.m. POLO BEACH GRILL & BAR - Daily, Live Music 4-5:30 p.m. Four Seasons Resort - 3900 Wailea Alanui, 808874-8000. LOBBY LOUNGE - Daily, Torch Lighting Ceremony 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Tue, Jazz Music 8-10:30 p.m.; Every Mon, Wed, Thu & Sat, Fri, Jazz Music 8-11:30 p.m.; Sun, Hawaiian Music 8:30-10:30 p.m.; Daily, Hula Dancers 5:30-6:30 p.m. Grand Wailea Resort & Spa- 3850 Wailea Alanui Dr., 808-875-1234. BOTERO BAR & LOUNGE - Every Wed, Live Hawaiian Music 5:30-9:30 p.m. GRAND DINING ROOM - Every Sun, Live Hawaiian Music and Hula Performances 10:30 a.m.-1 p.m. Makena Beach & Golf Resort - 5400 Makena Al-

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BY ANU YAGI

KULA KID

anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

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28 DECEMBER 23, 2010

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o it’s come to this. Lunacy.

“For god’s sake, Anu,” I screamed aloud. “Pull yourself together!” The apps on my iPhone wiggled with little “Xs” in their corners and I flung my Twitter app into the furthest black screen, hoping that might curb my mania. No sane person should Tweet 22 times in 24 hours, historic lunar eclipse or no. It’s gotten to the rotten point where I think in 140 characters or less, and assess every passing half-thought based on whether or not it’s tweet-worthy. It never is. Nothing is. And no one cares (or should care) if I’ve gotten a haircut, a flat tire—or two—or the specifics of my poor eating habits. (Except when I write about those things in a 600-word column; then you should totally care.) But there I was at 2am, one eye straining skyward for a glimpse of a reemerging moon, the other peering at a blinking cursor, wondering what to tweet next. Standing in a rain not heavy enough to dissuade Haiku’s mosquitoes—which with every bite aimed to turn me into the elephant woman—I clung to my phone and said about as much: #offtojointhecircus I was about to “send” to my 229 followers, “Am I a vain person if this sliver moon is reminding me to clip my toenails?” when suddenly the clouds parted. OMG. What have I become? Inflamed bug bites aside, I was indeed a freak. And a vain one at that. A serial tweeter obsessed with @ replies and my followers-tofollowing ratio, even when most of my followers are bots. But the real (and again, vain) reason I’ve been on a rampage is that @safran_john (a trueblue international celebrity and “documentarian (of sorts),” who is the sole soul on my “potential husbands” Twitter list) started following me last week, and when one marries two obsessions, nothing

good will come of it. Then again, I blame @safran_john, because it was he who noticed how I’d listed him and made public comment, going so far as to say I am “hot” (because, naturally, my profile photo is more flattering than real life). Consequently, I’ve been evermore twit-addicted, hoping that he might @ reply my @ reply (he did not), and imagining an art houseesque romance that is as unrealistic as my profile pic—and the likelihood of anyone giving two sheets about my tweets. However embarrassed by insanity though I may be, I’m happy for my wee-hour epiphany—deciding that with my New Year’s resolution to be more responsible, I need to show more online discretion—and can only now hope my revelations did not come so late that my losses can’t be mitigated. Speaking of mitigating losses: Mercury is in retrograde. I do not really know what that means, but MauiTime contributor Sara Tekula tweets about it, and I’ve come to understand it means the world around you falls to pieces and can thusly be blamed for any and all of life’s bullshit. Another friend of mine enlightened me to the idea that this astrological thingamabob has particular effect on cars and technology, and my week has gone accordingly (again, two flat tires and twice locking myself out of my car— in the rain). So like blaming @safran_ john for my recent diarrhea of the iPhone, I’d been blaming Mercury for not stopping to check tire pressure or ensure my keys are in hand before I lock the door. Because it’s easy to blame what’s big, unknowable, unreachable and unlikely: ##andNewYearsresolutions donttakeeffectuntilthe1st ■

To read more Kula Kid with links and pictures and stuff, and to leave comments, visit mauifeed.com/kulakid To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1427k

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN

HOROSCOPE

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com +

Sign Language CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) It’d be lovely if you could be perfectly well-rested and psychologically ready (or even eager) for a challenge the next time one presented itself. Of course, shit mostly hits the fan when we’re sleep-deprived, overworked, or just plain unprepared. Yes, you’re notoriously adept at rolling with the punches when this happens. However, you don’t need to rely on your improvisational skills and resourcefulness right now, since you have the luxury of getting yourself rested and psyched up for whatever comes your way. It may be something challenging, it may not—either way, since you can, spend some time this week just getting yourself ready. AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) Creating a bonfire fueled by all the things you don’t want in your life may be momentarily satisfying, but it’s likely to have repercussions that create more hassle than anything else. It’s good to shed the shit, but you must find more subtle means of doing so. “Losing” things can work for an unwanted scarf, but people aren’t gotten rid of so easily. You must find ways to strip your life down to the people and things that really matter to you, but gently, in ways that leave those you move on from better off than when they met you. I assure you, it’s possible. It’s up to you, however, to find the way. Once you set the intention, though, it shouldn’t be that hard to figure out. PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Acts of giving can assume some seriously strange forms this holiday season. Be alert for unexpected and unusual opportunities for generosity right now. Sometimes they could be about stepping up and doing something no one would expect you to do, unprompted. Other times, weirdly enough, it might be about what you don’t do (not smoking is an obvious example). Getting good at this is going to stretch even your vaunted intuition. You’ll have to read between the lines, and then sometimes read between those lines. However, if you do so as well as I know you can, people will be amazed at your virtually psychic ability to give them exactly what they need, just when it occurred to them to need it. ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Once upon a time, diverging from the standard set by society for intimate relationships wasn’t done, or only done in absolute secrecy. Now, more people are empowered to create their own parameters and paradigms for their entanglements. Hopefully, you rule-breaking Rams are leading the charge. It’s okay to go for the white-picket-fencesuburban-house-with-two-kids cliché—but you should recognize it as a choice, and only make it if it perfectly suits who you are. You are more empowered to create the exact scenario you want than you’ve ever been. You’d be a little bit of a fool to ignore that amazing opportunity. TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) For many plants, flowers are the beginning of the end, or at least of a dormant phase of their existence. They usually occur in response to changing conditions that won’t allow the plant to continue as it has (cold weather approaching, for example), so it makes an effort to reproduce by creating a flower. It’s interesting how the chapter before death (or a long sleep, anyway) is when they are at their most beautiful. I think understanding the reasons behind the creation of such beauty only enhances it, don’t you? This week, make an effort to perceive and understand the hidden agenda behind all the beauty you see; you’ll find that it will make some sparkle, and some almost vanish—and won’t it be interesting to see who does what? GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) When ill-mannered associates get bitchy and judgmental, try to resist simply jumping on the bandwagon and validating those catty critics (or worse, adding fuel to the fire by offering witty jibes of your own). Being a “mean girl” is juvenile and beneath you, and really should have been left behind back in junior high. It’s sometimes very hard to

not get caught up in the frequently funny remarks, though, especially when one is as clever and pithy as you frequently are. Find other ways to impress and delight, however, since you assuredly can. Cattiness doesn’t suit you. CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) It’s actually surprisingly easy to avoid dealing with the stuff you’re dreading this week, as distractions are frequent and plentiful. That doesn’t mean you should, however. Taking breaks from annoyances before they make you loopy is a good idea; avoiding them altogether will almost certainly exacerbate the problem. If you’re waiting for “a better time” to deal with something difficult, ask yourself now to pin down just when that better time is (and then hold yourself to it). More often than not, you’ll realize you’re just delaying the inevitable, and it’d be easier and less painful just to get it over with.

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS to questions on page 7... 1. B. 2. President Obama 3. Leading the Chico Outlaws to a 7-1 win over Na Koa Ikaika and a Golden Baseball League championship; collect at least 100 hits from each side of the plate in a single season

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) Here’s the thing about developing internal discipline (something Leos often struggle with): it’s not just about keeping up with a commitment. Sometimes, it’s about being determined to pick it back up after you (almost inevitably) let it slide. That’s almost harder to do, since at that point you’ve completely lost momentum. But it’s a necessary skill, one which all people known for their reliability have mastered. Sure, they drop the ball less often in general—but that doesn’t mean they never drop it. They just pick it right back up as soon as they can. You must learn to as well. VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) People change. That’s why long-term compatibility is a tricky thing to come by. People who are soulmates now might be complete opposites in a decade. In a way, you have to get lucky that you both change in ways that allow you to continue getting along and appreciating each other. This, of course, is not something you can truly predict or accurately plan (although nudging things in the right direction is entirely possible). That’s why I wouldn’t worry too much about it anytime soon. Be in the moment and let things just play out. You’ll be happier that way. LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Everyone loves their dog or kid—so much so that they can sometimes be oblivious about what kind of a pain in the ass their loved one can be. They want to believe little Scruffy is a special angel who’s very nearly perfect; when the reality diverges wildly, it can be a very difficult topic to broach, especially for you excessively tactful (and frequently too nice) Libras. However, because of your diplomacy, you’re actually the perfect person to address such a delicate matter. If something like this comes up this week, please step up to the plate and take care of it. SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Light is meaningless without darkness, but that doesn’t mean good is meaningless without evil. Sure, a noble act means more when it’s in the context of many ignoble ones, but it’s still amazing in their absence. You don’t have to wait for something awful to occur before you step up and make something wonderful happen. Keep that in mind this week, as it’s quite likely that nothing particularly bad will happen. There’s still loads and loads of potential for good, though. If you are alert, you should be able to discover and manifest quite a bit of it. SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC.21) I understand your reluctance to be a know-it-all bore. But the thing about wisdom is that it only increases its value when shared. That doesn’t mean you need to chime in every time you know something others don’t. That would turn you into just the kind of annoyance you’d like to avoid being. It does mean, however, that when your insight is specifically requested, you need to overcome your reticence and weigh in, unequivocally. What you have to say is worth hearing (whether or not they really want to hear it)—and, after all, they asked for it.

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DECEMBER 23, 2010 31

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