14.52 The Wedding Issue 2011, June 16, 2011, Volume 14, Issue 52, MauiTime

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JUNE 16, 2011 ✚ VOLUME 14 ✚ ISSUE 52 ✚ FREE

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JUNE 16, 2011

Contents VOLUME 14

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THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: What was (or will be) your wedding theme song? Editor: Jacob Shafer (808) 283-1308 / jacob@mauitime.com @jacobshafer on Twitter “Crazy Love” Associate Editor: Anu Yagi (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com @anuheayagi on Twitter “Funeral March” Proofreader: Dina Wilson I can’t remember... Interns: Henry Arroyo, Britney Kidd, Jane Solie, Anna Such Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Jory John, Ben Lowenthal, Avery Monsen, Ted Rall, Chuck Shepherd, Sara Tekula, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Art Director: Chris Skiles chris@mauitime.com / lucky11studios.com “Breathe” Graphic Designers: Shane Fontanilla, Christina Tarleton Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com “Viva Las Vegas” General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Administrative Executive: Judy Toba (808) 244-0777 / judy@mauitime.com Rub salt into my wound, why don’t you? Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown Anything by Elvis Web Design: Linear Publishing Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter

ISSUE 52

4 NEWS & VIEWS Coconut Wireless finds out why TSA is firing 30 workers. By the Numbers tracks tax collections and clean water violations. Editor Jacob Shafer bids a sappy farewell. News of the Weird looks at anal cavities and belly buttons. Quizunderstood asks about nuclear vessels and female lieutenant governors. Eh Brah! crashes a unicycle. Open Letters unzips a fanny pack.

10 FEATURE STORY Whether you greet them with joy, cynicism or some combination of the two, weddings are a part of who we are. And we’ve got a whole issue dedicated to them.

18 FILM CRITIQUE

Barry Wurst II says Midnight In Paris is worth the trip.

19 Film Capsules/Listings

20 THIS WEEK’S PICKS A big Surfrider beach cleanup and Mojomana at Casanova.

22 Da Kine Calendar 23 Grid

28 BACK PAGES

Kula Kid braves a porta-potty. Sign Language tells Gemini to take a break.

30 Classified 31 Mind, Body & Spirit MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2010 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime. MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

JUNE 16, 2011 ✚ VOLUME 14 ✚ ISSUE 52 ✚ FREE

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Celebrating Our 17th Wonderful Year

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Wedding ISSUE 2 0 1 1

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: "You looked like the love child of a Swedish agoraphobe and an albino..." pg.7

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By the

BY JACOB SHAFER

NEWS&VIEWS

jacob@mauitime.com + @jacobshafer on Twitter

NUMBERS Coconut Wireless 29 percent

Portion by which hotel-room tax collections have increased in Hawaii in the first 11 months of the current fiscal year, compared to last year

17 percent 71

Portion by which individual income tax collections have decreased

Number of times Maui Electric Company’s Kahului Generating Station violated the federal Clean Water Act between 2005 and 2008

$0 7

Total fines that were assessed to the station during that time

Number of Republican presidential hopefuls who participated in a televised debate this week in New Hampshire

Bowled Over Attacking football in Hawaii isn’t the best way to win friends—a lesson Gov. Abercrombie is clearly prepared to learn the hard way. In widely publicized remarks made last week, Abercrombie blasted the NFL Pro Bowl, which returned to Honolulu in January after a one-year hiatus, calling the $4 million annual fee Hawaii pays to host the game “egregious” and dismissing the event as “stupid.” “You’ve got this spectacle of these multimillionaires and billionaires out there arguing about how they’re going to divide it up,” said Abercrombie, referencing the league’s ongoing labor dispute. “And then they come and ask us to bribe them with $4 million to have a scrimmage out here in paradise.” The current deal was brokered, in part, by former Honolulu Mayor Mufi Hannemann, who ran against Abercrombie in a contentious Democratic gubernatorial primary. Asked about the situation, Hannemann—who currently heads up the Hawaii Hotel and Lodging Association—told the Honolulu StarAdvertiser there’s a need for “some education, some relationship building, if you will.” Perhaps more like relationship repairing—or severing.

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JUNE 16, 2011

MAUIFEED.COM

In April, we told you about the Big Island TSA screener who was arrested for stealing money from an undercover agent posing

To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1452c

The Blog Roll

Number who said the Constitution should be amended to prohibit same-sex marriage

Airport Insecurity

as a Japanese tourist. And of course you know about the agency’s controversial nude scanners and aggressive pat-down procedures, which sparked near riots during the holidays. Now, on Oahu, TSA announced it’s firing more than 30 workers for failing to properly screen checked bags. “TSA holds its workforce to the highest ethical standards and we will not tolerate employees who in any way compromise the security of the traveling public,” said administrator John Pistole in a release. TSA says the security lapses occurred daily at Honolulu International “during the last few months of 2010.” Sounds bad, but hey—if you were looking at naked pictures and touching strangers’ junk all day, you’d be distracted too. ■

Mayor Arakawa made water a tent-pole issue even before announcing his candidacy, and after he was elected his initial budget proposal featured more than $60 million in water sourcing and wastewater projects. This week, the Mayor signed the County Council’s version of the budget—which shaved some $25 million off his Department of Water requests—but still praised the Council for doing “a commendable job.” Among the allocations Arakawa lauded were $16.2 million for a revamped public radio system, $17 million for a new

If you’re fed up with the parking situation in Wailuku (which is to say, if you ever park in Wailuku), make plans to attend a meeting this Thursday, June 16, where the Department of Public Works will...

won’t sit well with those who already think government spending is out of control.

On Oahu, TSA is firing more than 30 workers for failing to properly screen checked bags. Sounds bad, but if you were touching strangers’ junk all day, you’d be distracted too.

Spending Priorities

5

Sources: Hawaii Department of Taxation, Honolulu Star-Advertiser, Environmental Protection Agency, New York Times

Kihei police station and $24 million in restored non-profit funding—a sticking point that riled up the community and divided the Council. Overall, the budget expands county spending by nearly 10 percent compared to last year, a fact that surely

NEWS BRIEFS

What’s new at MauiTime’s blogs?

MAUIDISH.COM

“Wine doesn’t want to be wine, it wants to be vinegar,” explained winemaster Geoff Kluth during one of the seminars at the Kapalua Wine and Food Festival. The vinegarmaking culprit, it turns out, is...

MAUIVENTS.COM

Attention dance enthusiasts (and the people who love them): don’t miss Bob Fosse’s semiautobiographical musical, All That Jazz, screening this Friday, June 17, at the Iao Theater. The film is inspired by...

Roy’s Kahana Celebrates 20 Years

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NEWS&VIEWS

Local Maui

Wedding Painter

BY JACOB SHAFER

jacob@mauitime.com + @jacobshafer on Twitter

EDITOR’S NOTE

Julia Copeland GIFT YOURSELF OR A LOVED ONE WITH AN ORIGINAL OIL PAINTING!

Local artist Julia Copeland paints wedding ceremonies, honeymoon scenes, bouqets & bridal portraits.

I

n 2008, a few weeks after I took the helm at MauiTime, I received an unsigned, handwritten note that read, simply: “Maui needs the Maui Times.� Setting aside the slightly grating—yet quite common—misspelling of our name, it was a message I took to heart. But there’s another, even bigger truth I’ve learned since: MauiTime needs Maui. We need your feedback, positive and negative. We need your support. And most of all, we need your stories. I’ve had the pleasure of telling some of those stories over the past three years, or at least helping them find their way into these

sentimental tone, this is a goodbye— or at least a see you later. It was an impossibly difficult decision, but a new opportunity is pulling my family and me away from Maui. Fortunately, you’ll be in the capable hands of former editor Anthony Pignataro, who apparently realized editing a newspaper in paradise is a pretty sweet gig (a lesson I’m expecting to learn somewhere over the Pacific). Before I exit, I’d be remiss if I didn’t express my gratitude to a few people. First and foremost, to Tommy and Jen Russo for believing in me and giving me an incredible, life-changing opportunity. To art director Chris Skiles, for making the words that appear in the paper look far nicer than they have any right to. To

I hope we’ve entertained, infuriated and maybe even enlightened you. That was the goal, anyway.

808.250.0544 w w w. m a u i w e d d i n g p a i n t e r. c o m M a u i We d d i n g P a i n t e r @ y a h o o . c o m s

MAUI Make your special day memorable in stunning Island Bridal Attire for the Bride and the entire bridal party. UĂŠ Ă€Âˆ`>Â?ĂŠ ÂœĂœÂ˜ĂƒĂŠ UĂŠ ÂœĂŒÂ…iĂ€ĂŠÂœvĂŠĂŒÂ…iĂŠ Ă€Âˆ`iĂŠ UĂŠ >ĂŒĂƒ UĂŠ iĂœiÂ?ÀÞÊ UĂŠ i˜½ĂƒĂŠĂƒÂˆÂ?ÂŽĂŠĂƒÂ…ÂˆĂ€ĂŒĂƒ and more! Sizes XS to 3X

pages. From fights over solar telescopes, civil unions, the Superferry and Halloween in Lahaina to profiles of community activists, samurai masters, pro-pot cops and physicist surf-bums, I’ve reveled in unearthing the issues and people that make this island a singular, perplexing, astonishing place. As we’ve worked to reflect Maui, we’ve also made an effort to innovate. We printed an 80-page issue in 3D, expanded our online presence through blogging and social media and hosted an election forum featuring live commentary submitted via Twitter. Through it all, I hope, we’ve entertained, infuriated and maybe even enlightened you. That was the goal, anyway. As you’ve probably guessed from my

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our tireless, tattooed sales executive Brad Chambers for bringing home the bacon. To the unflappable Judy Toba, the irascible Jenn Brown, the keen-eyed Sean Michael Hower and Dina Wilson, our most loyal, patient reader. To all the contributors who have lent us their talents, but especially the always-game and ever-jocular Ynez Tongson. And finally, to my dear Anu Yagi—a warrior, a writer and a friend. This job has been one of the true joys of my life. And though you may not need me anymore, you still need MauiTime— and MauiTime still needs you. ■To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1452e

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

NEWS&VIEWS

chuck@mauitime.com +

EH BRAH!

NEWS OF THE WEIRD COLON PROPERTY A 53-year-old man with failing eyesight and who had recently undergone intestinal surgery told Sonoma, California, police that on Sunday afternoon, May 1, a woman came to his home and instructed him to drop his pants and get face-down on the bed so that she could administer an enema. He said he assumed his doctor had sent her and thus complied, and it was over in two minutes. The doctor later said he had no idea who the woman was. (In the 1970s, in the Champaign, Illinois, area, Michael Kenyon operated similarly as the “Illinois Enema Bandit”—and inspired the late Frank Zappa’s “Illinois Enema Bandit Blues.”)

YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT? Several funeral homes in the United States have drive-thru windows to serve rushed mourners or those stressed by the parlor experience. “Not quite as emotional,” said one visitor to the Robert L. Adams Mortuary in Compton, California, referring to the need not to linger in the queue of bereaved, idling motorists. The Adams facility was even more popular during the peak of gang murders in the area, according to an April Los Angeles Times report, because the drivethru window’s bulletproof glass rendered unnecessary the precarious indoor service in which gangbangers tried to further desecrate late rivals’ corpses.

GAMING THE SYSTEM Because of a loophole in Michigan law (which, at press time, legislators were working to fix), a winner of the “Make Me Rich” lottery game in July 2010 (publicized value: $2 million) has been openly receiving the same food-stamp allotment he had been receiving before he won. In May 2011, confronted by WNEM-TV in Saginaw, winner Leroy Fick was defiant about his food stamps. Currently, eligibility is based on regular income, and Fick had taken his payoff last year in one lump sum.

NAVEL OBSERVATORY The Belly Button Biodiversity project at North Carolina State University has begun examining the “faunal differences” in the microbial ecosystems of our navels, to foster understanding of the “tens of thousands” of organisms crawling around inside (almost all benign or even helpful). An 85-year-old man in North Carolina may have “very different navel life” than a 7-year-old girl in France, according to a May Raleigh News & Observer report. So far, only the organisms themselves and the hosts’ demographics have been studied; other issues, such as variations by hairiness of navel, remain. ■

Hey Mr. Unicycle Guy: riding on one wheel doesn’t make you more interesting—it makes you more of a jackass. I don’t have a problem with unicycles per se; I wasn’t raped by a circus performer or anything like that. But I do have a problem with arrogant jerks who ride them on the sidewalk, nearly knocking people over and then offering up a little “who me?” smile as they pedal on their merry way. Then again, considering the insane sunburn you were rocking and the fact that you looked like the love child of a Swedish agoraphobe and an albino, skin cancer will probably get you around the same time karma does. Pack up that stupid contraption and be gone. Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1452n

QUIZunderstood PHOTO COURTESY NOAA.GOV

1. What former mayoral candidate was angling this week for a seat on the Maui Native Hawaiian Chamber of Commerce board of directors?

2. Earlier this month, a team of scientists set out aboard the research vessel Ka‘imikai-oKanaloa (pictured) to study the effects of radiation from Japan’s damaged Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant. Translated to English, what does Ka‘imikai-o-Kanaloa mean?

3. How many of Hawaii’s 11 Lieutenant Governors have been women? Bonus: How many have been Republicans? See answers, page 29

JUNE 16, 2011

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Pre-Opening Party for Honu! A Fundraiser for Punana Leo o Maui

Monday, June 20, 2011 5:00 pm at Honu 1295 Front Street, Lahaina, HI 96761

Join Honu for its pre-opening party! In celebration, it will be hosting a fundraiser for Punana Leo o Maui, a school focused on teaching Hawaiian language and culture. To help celebrate, Dr. Shawn Steiman of Coffea Consulting will lead a coffee appreciation seminar and tasting of Maui-grown coffees. Following the coffee tasting, guests are invited to stay and enjoy wine and pupus. Coffees and Steiman’s book, The Hawai‘i Coffee book: A Gourmet’s Guide from Kona to Kaua‘i, will be available for purchase, with all proceeds going to Punana Leo. All guests supporting the fundraiser will receive a gift copy of Mark Ellman’s book, Practice Aloha.

Coffea Consulting Tickets must be purchased in advance at Mala Ocean Tavern or via phone 667-9390. Ticket price $85 + tax per person. Price includes coffee tasting, 2 drinks and Pupus & Practice Aloha book.

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he words we use to describe marriage— “hitched,” “institution,” “ball and chain”—hint at our collective matrimonial cynicism. Yet they also belie a simple fact: we still get married in droves. Right now, people of all ages, races, cultures and, yes, genders are exchanging rings, popping champagne and saying “I do.” Sure, many of those blessed unions will wind up in a not-soblessed divorce court. But others will endure, change, grow and become something beautiful, something lasting. That’s why we created this annual issue—to celebrate weddings in all their multifarious forms, to honor (and poke fun at) one of humankind’s oldest, most complex-butcherished traditions. Because in the end, whatever words we use to describe it, marriage is a part of us, in sickness and in health, ’til death do us part.

the

SAME--SEX UNIOONS ✚ THEE SINGLE GIRL’S SURVIVAL GUIDE ✚ SONGS EVERY DJ SHOULDD DITCH ✚ YOUR PIN-UPP WEDDING ✚ AND MUCHH MOREE...

Wedding ISSUE 2 0 1 1

CEL LEB BRA ATING MARR RIAGE ...IN N ALL ITS S FO ORM MS

10 JUNE 16, 2011

“LOVE DOES NOT CONSIST OF GAZING AT EACH OTHER, BUT IN LOOKING TOGETHER IN THE SAME DIRECTION.” - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Words by Anu Yagi ✚ Photos by Sean Michael Hower

Getting Civil Politics aside, what will same-sex unions in Hawaii mean for actual people? efore HB444 was (rather strangely) quashed by former Governor Linda Lingle in July 2010, UCLA’s Williams Institute produced a report itemizing the potential fiscal impacts of the bill. It summarized the findings of “over twenty studies by academic institutions, governments, and trade industry associations,” and estimated that “recognizing same-sex couples is likely to increase spending in a state, creating jobs and tax revenues.” That is, “Hawaii business will experience increased spending on civil union celebrations” to the tune of $4.2 to $9.5 million over four years—and that’s just by the couples themselves. Their out-of-state guests (never mind Hawaii residents) are estimated to pump an additional $17.8 to $40.3 million into our state’s economy over that same period of time; and in the process create 193 to 333 new jobs while “attract[ing] highly-skilled ‘Creative Class’ workers to Hawaii.” Statistics aside, government recognition of gay couples is about equality. Period. But to those for whom the civil rights of our fellow humans is not reason enough, there’s always the fiscal side. And in the case of allowing civil unions, these tangible benefits are no pittance. So as we look for ways to fill the pukaridden cup of our state budget, it’s curious why civil unions in Hawaii didn’t pass sooner. After all, in the early 1990s, Hawaii was progressively poised to be the first state in the union to legalize gay marriage. In the 1993 case of Baehr v. Lewin, the state Supreme Court ruled that it’s discriminatory for the state to refuse marriage licenses to gay couples. However, it was followed by a 1998 constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage to anyone but oppositesex couples. But, finally, on February 23, 2011 Governor Neil Abercrombie signed into law a measure to recognize civil unions in Hawaii, saying, “This signing today of this measure says to all of the world that they are welcome. That everyone is a brother or sister here in paradise.”

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Africa—vacationed on the isle, where Michigan-born Miholer had settled some four years prior, via San Diego. Hitting it off immediately, the pair went on dates to the beach or Wailuku’s (long lost) Hamburger Mary’s, and began a long distance relationship when Rebelo returned to California. Not long after, Rebelo was up for an employee of the quarter award at the Sacramento Bee, where he worked as a graphic designer, and promised Miholer that if he won, he’d use his winnings to visit Maui again. Rebelo says, “within three weeks I was back on Maui, and within six months I’d moved here.” Eight months after settling on Maui with Miholer, Rebelo says, “We were looking to get married and didn’t know of anyone who did gay weddings. So we kind of just did our own little thing together [and] thought, ‘Wouldn’t it be great to start a company that had a resource that were either gay or gay friendly ministers and photographers?’ So, we started a company.” This was during a time when our nation was first warming to idea of gay marriage, but even more fortuitously, the start of their company coincided with the birth of the Internet. Via an invitation to the Maui Tech Park, Rebelo and Miholer began learning HTML “way in the beginning when people didn’t even know what the Internet was.” As a result, Rebelo says, Gay Weddings Hawaii was

the first wedding company in the world—gay or straight—to be represented online, and attracted couples from across the globe. “We had couples come in from England, Italy, even China. At the time, it looked like gay marriage was going to pass and we were doing lots of weddings. Then other Internet wedding companies started popping up— straight ones—so we started doing straight weddings, too. When [other] states started passing civil unions and gay marriage, less and less people started coming because more people wanted to go where it would be recognized. So we saw a tapering off. So we switched our focus back to doing straight weddings, while still doing gay weddings too. And now, there’s been a peak again since the legalization. So we’re getting a lot more inquiries.” Rebelo says they just performed a ceremony for two men from Mississippi, who were “blown away” by the isle’s receptiveness, and “got to experience what it’s like to be recognized as a couple. They didn’t have to be embarrassed for what they are.” Still, Rebelo says “We take so much for granted here on Maui. There’s still a lot of prejudice out there in the world. Especially with older couples, we’ve been conditioned not to show affection in front of the straight community. That’s changing.” For the majority of their career together, Rebelo and Miholer have been

“

t did take longer than expected—18 years—but we finally did it. We finally got civil unions passed and we’re so excited,” says Kevin Rebelo of Kihei, who owns and operates Gay Wedding Hawaii with his partner of 17 years, Frank Miholer. The couple met while Rebelo—who’s originally from Johannesburg, South

“I HAVE SPREAD MY DREAMS BENEATH YOUR FEET; TREAD SOFTLY...” - W.B. Yeats

in the heart-wrenching predicament of making a business of marriage — having coordinated weddings for thousands of heterosexual couples since they began their business in 1994—meanwhile being denied a marriage of their own. “When you’re a part of the struggle it just becomes a part of your life and you just continue forward because you know that right always wins out. Always,” says Rebelo. “But people are seeing that basic human rights are a value that they cherish too and that everyone should be treated equally no matter what their religion says. “I think the challenge has been getting the legal recognition for our couples. People want that,” he continues. “It’s wonderful to know that somewhere in the world—even if it’s not [yet] in your hometown—my marriage is valid and legal somewhere and I’m equal to the citizens of that area. And for us not to be able to offer that to people has been our biggest drawback.” Currently, the state issues “Reciprocal Beneficiaries” licenses for couples who are ineligible for marriage. You might notice that the language on the State of Hawaii Department of Health Office of Health Status Monitoring marriage license application specifically describes fields for for applicants’ information as “GROOM (MALE)” and “BRIDE (FEMALE).” Then again, there’s also a field to describe any “Blood relationship of the groom to bride” (but to be fair, filling out that field will get you rejected in a hurry). In an e-mail to MauiTime, Dr. Alvin T. Onaka, State Registrar and Chief of the Office of Health Status Monitoring for the DOH, said the department is “still working out the details of the marriage/civil union procedures but we are planning to have separate license forms for marriage and civil unions online. We also plan to have the forms available online well before the effective date of January 1, 2012.” Last year, Dr. Onaka proudly described the DOH’s updated Web site made more user friendly. “It’s been great for the economy here,” says Rebelo. “It doesn’t just affect us, it’s great for the restaurants, hotels, everybody. And we’ve always known that there’s been support for gay marriage in Hawaii because everyone we know and the reactions we get think it’s just wonderful. It’s just that small, really vocal minority.” While the civil unions bill is a triumph, it’s still only an incremental step. And Rebelo says they still hope to accomplish “total equality,” as in, “gay marriage recognized across the country, fully and in all states.” ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1452w

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Tips for navigating your friend’s nuptials—and maybe even having a little fun espite what the media and your overbearing grandmother would have you believe, there’s nothing wrong with being single. Relationships are like art: some people simply aren’t cut out to be the next da Vinci and are meant to, uh, paint alone. And like art, a good relationship isn’t just a flash of inspiration, but rather a lot of hard work. If anything, single people are the lucky ones, free from the stress and expense a

D

Don’t sleep with the bride/groom. Sure, in rom coms this usually leads to a hilarious cutscene or montage, but life isn’t a movie, and certainly not a lighthearted one. I’m not trying to moralize or judge here, but unless you’re all professed polygamists, just don’t do it. Bring your allergy meds, preferably non-drowsy. Weddings are a hotbed of allergens, be it the couples’ happiness or the flowers in the bouquet. Sitting through a reading of “Corinthians�

Even the most confident people can be cowed by the prospect of their friends’ weddings, especially when they seem to be taking place one after another, like a procession of biological alarm clocks. wedding, or even serious relationship, can entail. However, some people ignore their better judgment and get married anyway. Amazing, right? Then, they invite their friends. That’s us. Even the most confident people can be cowed by the prospect of their friends’ weddings, especially when they seem to be taking place one after another, like a procession of biological alarm clocks— which usually seems to be the case. Luckily, I’m here to help. Foremost, if you aren’t genuinely happy for the couple and/or can’t at least put on a happy face, just don’t go. Simple as that. It’s important to keep the right mindset at an event that seems to emphasize your single-hood. Remember, this isn’t about you and you’re not being (ahem) singled out. The point is to celebrate a couple’s joy and commitment. It’s their wedding, not your pity party. If you’ve been asked to be a part of the wedding party, don’t worry about bringing a plus one—you won’t be able to spend time with them. Especially if you’re a bridesmaid. I don’t know if it’s due to all the romantic comedies of late or if this has always been the case, but bridesmaids seem to be the new hot nurses. “Always a bridesmaid, never a bride,â€? shouldn’t be a lament, it should be a celebration. Girls, get your guns (and bring your prophylactics)! That said‌

can be uncomfortable enough without you sneezing throughout. While tears of happiness (and dismay) have been traditional wedding guests since the dawn of time, let’s not invite their sisters, red, runny and puffy. Which leads us to... If you must wear makeup, make sure it’s smudge and water proof. Sweat, eye-rubbing, temple-massaging, facepalming and the aforementioned tears will all conspire to make you resemble a drunk clown. Speaking of drunk clowns... Open bars are awesome, puking in

your lap isn’t. It’s fine to imbibe, but once you start texting your exes or telling strangers how much you love cats, it’s time to stop. A little bit of Haleakala Distillers’ Maui Gold Rum to loosen the tongue and start the stream of compliments and conversation is great, but a floodgate of slurred laments and Oceans (of) Vodka— while delicious—isn’t. Dress appropriately. The wedding invitation should hint at the dress code, and you should take the hint. That racy little thing you bought at Forever 21 might get you all the looks at the club, but at a wedding, they’ll be the wrong kind of stares. You also don’t want to be remembered as the auntie wearing clothes three sizes too small, or the uncle whose low-riding pants reveal a little too much (of him and his drinking habits) with every flash of the camera. If your top (or pants) are so low cut that people inadvertently look away when you bend, it’s time to invest in better threads. Classic Jackie O. is a nice direction to meander, and Bohemia Boutique always has something fashionable in stock. Finally, here’s something I do at any social function I feel terribly out of place in. Before attending, I listen to a song I love and for the rest of the night, that’s my theme song. When I’m entering a room, making small talk or trying to sneak appetizers into my purse, boom!, there it is. Personally I like “Tank!� by Yoko Kanno. Nothing like inner big band jazz to lighten the mood. That said it’s probably no surprise I’ve remained single, but meh. Happily married or snarky and single, you’ve got to grab your happiness where you can. ■To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1452w2

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Hair And Now Vintage styles add a retro twist to modern weddings intage wedding design is all the rage, with engaged couples selecting designs from bygone romantic periods for their weddings. Going vintage can give you a lot of options since there are so many golden eras to choose from, but whatever you pick, Maui stylists say it’s best to plan ahead. Rockabilly styles, finger waves, pinup hair and pin curls will all go smoothly with a bit of planning. Here’s our tip list:

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1. Make a consultation appointment Most stylists include a free consultation when you book a session with them—they need to see what they’re working with. “I have a comb, not a magic wand,” says Jeffie Harris of Paragon Salon. “It’s best to come in and talk about the vintage style you want, and we can see how [it’s] going to work.” Sending in photos may not be enough to gauge hair type, length and body, so a trip in person will ensure your retro look will be perfect.

2. Time commitment Finger waves and pin curls have to set for several hours. If your heart is set on a complicated style, be sure to schedule the time for your stylist to make it happen and keep stress levels to a minimum. You can make arrangements to meet early in the day to get your hair prepped, then get the final style just before the ceremony. Other vintage styles may take less time, so if you are strapped for time, discuss the do with your stylist; they can suggest alternative looks.

3. Pick out pictures from magazines Coming to your stylist with some photos of what you like will help you both get on the same page. April Page, stylist at Soleil Luna, says, “I personally love the rockabilly era hairstyles. It’s not as hard as it looks, but I recommend brides bring in pictures of styles they like so I know exactly what they want.” You can also head to the Web to find photos; Google “vintage bride hairstyles” or check out stylesdowntheaisle.com.

4. Let your stylist know about

your accessories Not every bride wears a veil, and vintage hair gives you a lot of options for embellishment. Netting was popular in the 30s, while vintage hats, feathers and pearls can be incorporated beautifully into the hair design and add a unique twist. But, of course, your stylist has to know in advance.

5. Come to your appointment with clean, dry hair No pre-application of product needed.

“Come with a clean slate,” says Wendy Pogni, owner of Soleil Luna. “It depends on the style as to what product we are going to use. I always finish the vintage styles with what I call ‘hurricane spray,’ so the style can withstand a hurricane.” If you want your do to go the distance, ask your stylist what they recommend to keep it there. The salon should have all the appropriate products. ■

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Girls’ Night Throwing the perfect bachelorette party takes preparation service possible. Candice Seti of Ambrosia Martini Lounge says she sees a lot of bachelorette parties come through, and if they alert her in advance she can reserve them seating for their entire party in an area they can decorate if they wish. Keep your guest list in check, and make sure every guest is aware of any shared charges you’re anticipating so there are no surprises. Set a date so your guests can reserve that day or evening. The most important thing is to have a great time with the bride to be—however naughty or nice you plan to be. ■

“A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE REQUIRES FALLING IN LOVE MANY TIMES, ALWAYS WITH THE SAME PERSON.” - Mignon McLaughlin

To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1452w3 he bachelorette party is a contemporary tradition. There was a time when brides only got a shower, while the boys got to get a little dirty. Now, of course, the ladies’ parties take a on a more playful tone—though that doesn’t always have to mean male strippers and debauchery. The bachelorette party is still all about the bride, so pleasing her is a must. Planning the party around her interests and tastes will ensure success. “Girls just wanna have fun,” says Lila Sherman of the Love Shack in Kihei. “The party is about sending the bride off to her marriage, and it’s an opportunity for her to have some playtime with her girlfriends.” If you’re planning a bachelorette party on Maui, the Love Shack can help. They’ll come to your designated location and

T

bring games to play, gifts for guests and share their knowledge of sex and play. Pin the macho on the man, and “pass the pecker” games can make for racy fun. If you prefer to run the party yourself, the Love Shack is stocked full of games and gadgets, bachelorette sashes, straws, leis and plenty of party favors. “Usually if the gathering is planning to go to a bar we stay about an hour,” says Lila, “but if you want us longer that’s fine, too.” If you’re planning to take your bachelorette party on the road, you have a few ways to do it. Akina Aloha Tours has a posh limousine bus that holds 16 passengers. Stretch limos seat about eight, while a Cadillac SUV will hold about 6. If you’re not going far, minivan cabs can do the trick. (Reserve cabs for drop-off and pick-up to avoid hassle.) If you’re planning to go to a specific venue, call ahead and let them know you’re coming to get the best

“I TENDED TO PLACE MY WIFE UNDER A PEDESTAL.” - Woody Allen

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HEY MR. DJ, DON’T PUT THESE RECORDS ON... e get it—weddings are all about tradition. But when did “tradition” become synonymous with “worn out cliche”? All aspects of a wedding can fall victim to this trap, but no danger zone looms larger than your DJ’s playlist. Here are some songs (broken down into three cringeinducing categories) that should be taken out of rotation at every wedding—permanently.

W

Songs that sound romantic but totally aren’t. Hey, why wouldn’t you play “White Wedding” at a wedding? It’s got “wedding” right in the title. Well, how about the fact that, according to VH1’s “Pop Up Video,” the song was actually about how much Billy Idol hated the guy who knocked up his sister. (Idol later denied it, possibly to ensure people would keep playing the song at their weddings and remembering who Billy Idol is). Other offenders: “I Will Survive,” “Jesse’s Girl,” “Every Breath You Take,” “I Will Always Love You” Songs that tell you how to dance. Yes, dancing can be awkward; yes, sometimes it’s nice to have the steps spelled out so you’re not left to spastically flail alone in the semi-dark. But get creative. Choreograph your own group moves, or do a traditional Irish jig (or whatever culture suits you). Just please, for the love of disco, do not visit the “Y.M.C.A.” Seriously, young man. Don’t. Other offenders: “Macarena,” “Chicken Dance,” “Limbo Rock,” “The Cha Cha Slide” Songs that define played out. These aren’t all bad songs; in fact, some are quite good. But at a certain point, even the best song reaches it’s saturation point, when playing it doesn’t show what good taste you have, but rather how incredibly lazy and/or unaware of other music you are. With apologies to the great Etta James, we’re looking at you, “At Last.” Other offenders: “Endless Love,” “I Only Have Eyes For You,” “Can’t Help Falling In Love,” “Celebration” ■ -JS

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JUNE 16, 2011 17

BY BARRY WURST II

FILM

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Remember Paris Woody Allen’s latest revels in, cautions against nostalgia Midnight In Paris

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I

’ve always wondered why Maui audiences don’t connect with Woody Allen films. Maybe it’s his East Coast sense of humor— so foreign to our tiny island—or maybe it’s just because a lot of his recent movies haven’t been very good. Whatever the reason, if you are a fan of the Wood Man and happen to live on Maui, you’d better catch his latest release quickly, because it probably won’t stick around too long. Although perhaps Midnight In Paris will be an exception. It stars part-time Valley Isle resident Owen Wilson—and it’s pretty darned good. Wilson stars as Gil, a Hollywood screenwriter vacationing in Paris with his demanding fiancée (Rachel McAdams, cast against type as an unlikable shrew). Gil is struggling to write a real novel after years of authoring insipid Hollywood schlock; his time in Paris is meant to re-charge his creative

Yeah, I’d totally want to escape her too. impulses. While taking a stroll alone one night, Gil finds himself magically transported to the Paris of his dreams, when Ernest Hemingway, T.S. Eliot and the Golden Age of art and literature were in full swing. He soon finds his abilities as a writer tested as his lust for this bygone era becomes an obsession.

The film kicks off with a lovely sequence that calls to mind the artful opening of Manhattan, one of Allen’s best films, and sets a peppy, whimsical tone. Wilson, meanwhile, underplays his laid-back stoner persona and gives a fine, keenly observed performance. This will work best for literature and

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European art history buffs. Adrien Brody’s performance as Salvador Dali is a riot if you know much about the artist and the same goes for jokes directed at Luis Bunuel, Hemingway and Pablo Picasso. Though some references will whizz over all but the most cultured heads, romantics and film lovers will eat this up. Allen understands that we all have an era we call our own, a nostalgic place that brings us comfort and inspiration. But this is clearly a cautionary tale. Don’t hide in the past, the filmmaker warns, at the expense of the present. It’s a rich idea, but the movie feels unfinished. The ending is nice enough, yet stops short of a real conclusion. This is a great date movie for people with smart dates. No, it doesn’t rank among Allen’s masterpieces, but for what it is it’s enjoyable. After all, Allen would be the first to tell you, you shouldn’t let what’s come before prevent you from enjoying what’s happening right now. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1452f

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900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees) The Hangover Part II - R - THU-FRI (12:00, 2:30, 5:00), 7:30, 10:00. SAT-SUN (12:00, 2:30), 5:00, 7:30, 10:00. MON-WED (12:00, 2:30, 5:00), 7:30, 10:00. Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer - PG - THU-FRI (12:15, 2:30, 4:45), 7:00, 9:30. SAT-SUN (12:15), 2:30, 4:45, 7:00, 9:30. MON-WED (12:15, 2:30, 4:45), 7:00, 9:30. Mr. Popper’s Penguins - G - FRI (12:10, 2:45, 5:00), 7:15, 9:45. SAT-SUN (12:10, 2:45), 5:00, 7:15, 9:45. MON-WED (12:10, 2:45, 5:00), 7:15, 9:45. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2D) - PG13 - THU (12:20), 3:45, 6:55, 10:05. X-Men: First Class - PG13 - THU (12:45, 4:00), 7:15, 10:15. FRI (12:20, 3:45), 7:05, 10:05. SAT-SUN (12:20), 3:45, 7:05, 10:05. MON-WED (12:20, 3:45), 7:05, 10:05.

KA’AHUMANU 6

Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) Cry Baby Matinee - G - WED 11:00. Fast Five - PG13 - THU 10:50, 1:35, 4:20, 7:05, 9:50. FRI-WED 12:00, 2:45, 10:20. The Hangover Part II - R - THU 10:40, 12:00, 1:00, 2:20, 3:20, 4:40, 5:40, 7:00, 8:00, 9:20, 10:20. FRI-WED 12:00, 2:20, 4:40, 5:40, 7:00, 8:00, 9:20. Kung Fu Panda 2 (2D) - PG - THU 11:00, 11:45, 2:00, 3:30, 4:15, 5:45, 6:30, 8:00, 8:45. FRI-SAT 11:45, 2:00, 4:15, 6:30, 8:45, 10:45. SUN-WED 11:45, 2:00, 4:15, 6:30, 8:45.

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

Kung Fu Panda 2 (Dolby 3D) - PG - THU 1:15, 10:15. Kung Fu Panda 2 (Tech 3D) - PG - THU-WED 10:30, 12:45, 3:00, 5:15, 7:30, 9:45. Mr. Popper’s Penguins - G - FRI-WED 10:35, 11:35, 12:45, 1:45, 2:55, 3:55, 5:10, 6:10, 7:20, 8:20, 9:30, 10:30.

KUKUI MALL

1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) Cry Baby Matinee - G - TUE 10:30, 1:00 Green Lantern (2D) - PG13 - THU/FRI 12:00 midnight. FRI-SAT 11:00, 1:45, 4:15, 7:00, 9:45, 12:10. SUN-WED 11:00, 1:45, 4:15, 7:00, 9:45. The Hangover Part II - R - THU 10:30, 1:05, 3:30, 5:50, 8:15, 10:30. Midnight in Paris - PG13 - THU 10:45, 1:00, 3:15, 5:30, 7:45, 10:05. FRI-WED 10:30, 12:50, 3:00, 5:30, 8:15, 10:30. Mr. Popper’s Penguins - G - FRI-WED 10:45, 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8:00, 10:15. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2D) - PG13 - THU 10:15, 1:10, 4:10, 7:05, 10:00. X-Men: First Class - PG13 - THU-WED 10:15, 1:00, 4:05, 7:00, 10:00.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX

Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees) Bridesmaids - R - THU-FRI (1:30, 4:20), 7:10, 10:00. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:20, 7:10, 10:00. MON-WED (1:30, 4:20), 7:10, 10:00. Green Lantern (2D) - PG13 - FRI (1:15, 4:00), 6:45, 9:15, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:15), 4:00, 6:45, 9:15, 9:30. MON-WED (1:15, 4:00), 6:45, 9:15, 9:30. Green Lantern (3D) - PG13 - FRI (11:00, 11:30, 1:45, 2:15, 4:30, 5:00), 7:15, 7:45, 9:30, 10:00. SAT-SUN (11:00, 11:30, 1:45, 2:15), 4:30, 5:00, 7:15, 7:45, 9:30, 10:00. MON-WED (11:00, 11:30, 1:45, 2:15, 4:30, 5:00), 7:15, 7:45, 9:30, 10:00. Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer - PG - THU (12:30, 2:45, 5:00), 7:15, 9:30. FRI (12:30, 2:45, 5:00), 7:15. SAT-SUN (12:30, 2:45), 5:00, 7:15. MON-WED (12:30, 2:45, 5:00), 7:15. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2D) - PG13 - THU (12:00, 3:15), 6:15, 9:30. FRI-WED (12:00), 6:15. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (3D) - PG13 - THU-FRI (12:30, 3:45), 6:50, 9:50. SAT-SUN (12:30), 3:45, 6:50, 9:50. MON-WED (12:30, 3:45), 6:50, 9:50. Super 8 - PG13 - THU-FRI (11:05, 11:35, 1:10, 1:40, 2:10, 3:50, 4:20, 4:50), 6:30, 7:00, 7:30, 9:10, 9:40, 10:00. SAT-SUN (11:05, 11:35, 1:10, 1:40, 2:10), 3:50, 4:20, 4:50, 6:30, 7:00, 7:30, 9:10, 9:40, 10:00. MON-WED (11:05, 11:35, 1:10, 1:40, 2:10, 3:50, 4:20, 4:50), 6:30, 7:00, 7:30, 9:10, 9:40, 10:00. Thor (2D) - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:00, 3:45), 6:25, 9:15 . SAT-SUN (1:00), 3:45, 6:25, 9:15 . MON-WED (1:00, 3:45), 6:25, 9:15 . Thor (3D) - PG13 - THU (11:25, 2:05, 4:45), 7:25, 10:05. X-Men: First Class - PG13-THU (11:45, 2:15, 12:45, 3:00, 3:30, 4:00), 6:15, 6:45, 7:15, 9:15, 9:45, 10:15. FRI (12:15, 3:00, 3:30), 6:40, 9:15, 9:45. SAT-SUN (12:15, 3:00), 3:30, 6:40, 9:15, 9:45. MON-WED (12:15, 3:00, 3:30), 6:40, 9:15, 9:45.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER

658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees) Bridesmaids - R - THU (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 10:00. Green Lantern (2D) - PG13 - FRI (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 10:00. SAT-SUN (1:45), 4:30, 7:15, 10:00. MON-WED (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 10:00. Kung Fu Panda 2 (2D) - PG - THU-FRI (1:30, 4:00), 7:00, 9:15. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:00, 7:00, 9:15. MON-WED (1:30, 4:00), 7:00, 9:15. Super 8 - PG13 - THU-FRI (2:00, 4:45), 7:20, 9:50. SAT-SUN (2:00), 4:45, 7:20, 9:50. MON-WED (2:00, 4:45), 7:20, 9:50.

New This Week GREEN LANTERN - PG13 - Fantasy, Action - Good versus evil, a magic ring, a dude in spandex... somehow this all feels so familiar. 114 min. MR. POPPER’S PENGUINS - G - Comedy - Jim Carrey plus some misbehaving arctic fowl equals...hilarity? 95 min.

JUDY MOODY AND THE NOT SO BUMMER SUMMER - PG - Comedy - We’ll just let the tagline do the talking: “Supermegatotally thrilladelic.” Totally. 106 min.

MIDNIGHT IN PARIS - PG13 - Comedy The latest from Woody Allen stars Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams and, presumably, rapid-fire existential dialogue. 94 min. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES - PG 13 - Fantasy - Captain Jack’s back (yep, again) to steal some more booty. 137 min.

NOW SHOWING BRIDESMAIDS - R - Comedy - Gone wild. 124 min.

SUPER 8 - PG13 - Sci.-Fi. - Kids filming a zombie movie wind up capturing something truly scary. 127 min.

FAST FIVE - PG13 - Action - The sequel to Slow Four, or another one of those racing movies with Vin Diesel. You choose. 130 min. THE HANGOVER PART II - R - Comedy - We’re holding out for The Hangover Part III: The Intervention. 102 min.

KUNG FU PANDA 2 - PG - Animated - Jack Black’s back as the rotund, butt-kicking Asian land mammal. Skee-doosh! 90 min.

Mr. Popper’s Penguins

HAWAII LIQUOR

THOR - PG13 - Fantasy - It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a bastardized Greek god with a hammer! 130 min. X-MEN: FIRST CLASS - PG13 - Sci-Fi Because mutants don’t ride coach. 131 min.

JUNE 16, 2011 19

MONDAY 7:30-10PM ALL AGES NO COVER

TUESDAYS 7:30-10PM ALL AGES NO COVER

WEDNESDAYS 7:30-10PM ALL AGES NO COVER

1810 HAWAIIAN ISLAND MUSIC JESSICA RABBITT & KANOA DAMON PARILLO/ DANYEL ALANA

THURSDAYS 9-CLOSE

OPEN MIC

ALL AGES NO COVER

SIGN UPS AT 9PM

FRIDAYS 8PM-CLOSE NO COVER 21+ AFTER FOOD SERVICE

SATURDAYS 9PM-CLOSE NO COVER 21+ AFTER FOOD SERVICE

GOT TALENT?

SOUNDS OF ADDICTION SWATIMTALKINBOUT Is Maui’s new Hard Rock/ Metal band, playing covers from Led Zepplin, Van Halen, AC/DC, To Black Sabbath and Metallica.

TUESDAY, JUNE 21ST FREE HIGH ENERGY COMEDY & MAGIC BY Y

BRENTON KEITH AND HIS BAG O’TRICKS '3&& t 1. Reservations Recommended (Limited Seating)

NEW SIGNATURE

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 22ND

ARE IN!

$POUFNQPSBSZ )BXBJJBO 1PQ 3 # 4JOHFS 4POHXSJUFS Joining him onstage will be his brother, KAI NAKO’OKA on guitar and EDDEE SEBALA on guitar 1.

SERIES SHIRTS

WAILEA NIGHTS WITH

Alika Nako’oka Three course dinner and show $35 per person, $10 show only

900 FRONT ST.

874.1131 t 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea

+1-808-667-7400

www.MulligansOnTheBlue.com

20 JUNE 16, 2011

(Located at the Wailea Blue Course)

BY ANU YAGI

PICKS

anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

This Week's Picks

DIVERSIONS, DALLIANCES & DATES

PHOTO BY TIM LARA

SURF’S UPLIFTING Sunday (June 19), 8am-3pm, Kanaha Beach Park, Kahului; free

I

t will turn your stomach to see how much organpumiced plastic is cut from the guts of dead seabirds— animals who’ve starved to death, their entrails filled with our indigestible excess. Exhumed lighters, bottle caps and bits of other crap are turned into (rather beautiful) mosaics, and these startling images of our waste—and worse, what happens to it—are effective teaching tools for groups like the Surfrider Foundation. This international organization—“dedicated to the protection and enhancement of our local waves, water and beaches through CARE (Conservation, Activism, Research and Education)”—has been heavy on the radar of late. That’s because in January 2010 a new Maui Chapter executive committee was elected, including chairman Tim Lara, vice-

chair Kimo Clark (yes, the bassist from The Throwdowns), volunteer coordinators Kyle Juk and Les Potts, treasurer Charlie Quesnel and board members Hannah Bernard and Lucienne de Naie. Lara explains that the new blood has been upping the ante with a slew of ongoing stewardship opportunities, and their “eyeopening” engagement with the other chapters has inspired new programs like Blue ‘Aina— where each month, volunteers venture aboard Triology (which donates the boat, captain and crew) to snorkel the sea in search of debris, cleaning the ocean from the inside out.You can find out more about this and other events

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

at the group’s Web site (surfrider.org/maui), but here’s the big deal this weekend: Sunday (June 19) is International Surfing Day, which, Lara says, “is kind of like Surfrider’s national holiday.” The timing happens to align with their big monthly beach cleanup, and Father’s Day, too (hence the tag line: “bring your father out to care for Mother Earth”). The day begins with a free yoga session by Kahului Community Yoga (8am) to help limber you up for a day of cleaning at Kahului’s Kanaha Beach Park (9-11am). As if saving the planet isn’t incentive enough, there will be prizes for the most cigarette butts collected, the largest piece of trash, the most unique piece of trash and more. Further freebies abound, and volunteers will receive a limited edition International Surf Day T-shirt and surfboard wax, as well as a year’s subscription to Surfing Magazine. Then, relax and refuel with an ono lunch donated by local restaurants (12pm) followed by entertainment and beach games (until 3pm). A few things to know before you go: plastic trash bags have been nixed, and instead 100 reusable burlap bags (donated by Hawaii Coffee Co.) will be on hand. Speaking of on

hand, latex gloves also defeat the purpose, so Lowe’s gave the group a discount on work gloves (or be super cool and bring your own). Also, no single-use cups are allowed, and volunteers should bring their own refillable bottles ... TIKI YOUR FANCY Friday (June 17), 9:30pm, Casanova, Makawao; $8 w/ tiki-inspired costume / $12 general Whereas Catholicism’s Limbo is on the outskirts of Hell, the comparatively preferable Trinidadian limbo is a hike-up-your-skirt kind of contra dancing that’s known the world over. Everyone knows there’s no sitting in limbo, but if you can go low, show off your stuff at Mojomana’s big Casanova show, this Friday (June 17). Prizes include custom-carved tiki trophies by Toddzilla and over $1,000 in prizes. While that’s way cool, those are just the perks. Because the night is all about the music. Frontwoman Melissa M. calls her new lineup—with Toddzilla and Handsome J—a “high speed, low drag trio.” Augmenting their American pop/surf culture music—shaken with a Hawaiian-style twist—is guest percussionist Berto, and opening up the show is DJ EdaKit (who many may know as a fine sushi artist). ■

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA THE AWARDS

CASANOVA’S FAMOUS NIGHT& CHILLTOWN PRODUCTIONS LADIESE WITH DJ BLAST

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI”

BACK TO FUTUR MUSIC STARTS AT 10PM X $10 COVER

TH FRIDAY, JUNE 17

MOJOMANA

SHOW STARTS AT 10:00PM $8 COVER WITH TIKI/SURF ATTIRE

AKIT DJTIKIED LIMBO CONTEST BASH COSTUME PARTY X ‘HOW LOW CAN YOU GO’ SURF

SATURDAY, JUNE 18

TH

MUSIC STARTS AT 9PM $10 COVER

AM SL SMOOTH COOL FUNKY JAZZ FEATURING

DAVID TROY & CLAY MORTENSEN

MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING X DINE & DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS CALL 572-0220 LOG ON AT WWW.CASANOVAMAUI.COM

JUNE 16, 2011 21

LIVE MUSIC ON THE NORTHSHORE!

RESTAURANT

BY ANU YAGI

CALENDAR

anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

Da Kine Calendar

THURSDAY JUNE 16

WAVETRAIN s PM

FRIDAY JUNE 17

SELECTAH ADDAMON & RAMBO OF JUDAH

FEATURING BENGALI & JAHSON OF INNAVISION ALSO: KOKO, KAIKA T, EMPRESS JOJO "%&/2% 0- s !&4%2

SATURDAY JUNE 18

HARMONIC RESONANCE

SPECIAL GUESTS: MOJOMANA 0- s

SUNDAY JUNE 19

FATHERS DAY HOUSE BAND - LIVE MUSIC NO COVER 7-10PM

TUESDAY JUNE 21

PELIGROSO TUESDAYS! TACOS, MARGARITAS, $3 MEXICAN BEERS

BOOKING INFO: DYINGSONS@GMAIL.COM

142 HANA HWY, PAIA

808-573-8085

www.charleysmaui.com

BIG SHOWS HALIE LOREN - Thu, June 16. This Oregon songbird is wildly popular in Japan, and last September serenaded happy Maui audiences who are all eager for her return. Check her out her unique jazz style at Stella’s intimate concert venue, alongside Maui’s own Marcus Johnson, Gene Argel and Tom Conway. Reservations a must. $15. 7pm. Stella Blues Cafe, 1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201, Kihei; 874-3779; stellablues.com THE STYLISTICS - Fri, June 18. Keeping ‘70s soul music alive, Philadelphia’s The Stylistics—who’ve been rockin’ the scene since ‘66—will play a special Father’s Day weekend show on Maui. Tickets now available for MACC members, with sales open to the public starting Sat, May 28. $35/$45/$55. 7pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Castle Theater, 242SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org MOJOMANA WITH DJ EDAKIT: TIKI-BASH & LIMBO CONTEST - Fri, Jun 17. “Some artists’ compositions just have an unquantiďŹ able ability to invoke various types of scenery, some nameless force that pushes the music into another dimension. Haiku-based Mojomana does this without overdoing itâ€? — Kate Bradshaw, MauiTime. The event features a bodacious limbo contest with custom-carved tiki trophies and over $1,000 in prizes. See This Week’s Picks for more. $8 with tiki-inspired costume / $12 general. 9:30pm. Casanova, 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao; 572-0220; casanovamaui.com 4 FATHERS/4 SONS: HAWAIIAN SLACK KEY ARTISTS - Sat, June 18. Celebrate Father’s Day weekend with four famous Hawaiian musical families: Dennis and David Kamakahi; George and Keoki Kahumoku; Kevin and Ikaika Brown; and Richard and Kai Ho’opi’i. $25. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, McCoy Studio Theater, 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

VOTED BEST HAPPY HOUR ON MAUI! 3 +)(%) 2$ s !- !- $!),9 s $)..%2 @4), 0-

FRIDAY

LZ ST2Y DJ !,, $ ).+3

$PWWFFSS t /P $P 1. t

TUESDAY

TACO TUESDAYS 0- 0DLFO $2.50 5BDPT 4UFBL 1PSL $IJ BDPT SJ 5 NB BMB $ BIJ $3.50 .BIJ . VJT T &R %P .50 T $2 POB $PS $2.50 $4 .BSHBSJUBT

THURS-SUN LATE NIGHT HAPPY HOUR !,, $2).+3 ! AFTER 10PM

22 JUNE 16, 2011

STAGE MAUI ONSTAGE AUDITIONS - Mon, Jun 20. Folks of any age, body type, vocal ability and level of experience are welcome to audition for “The Garden of BE,� written by Mauian Tess Cartwright and directed by Steven Dascoulias. Scheduled to run September 23 through October 2. Please prepare an uptempo song and character monologue (less than four minutes, combined), as well as a headshot and resume. Call to schedule and appointment. Free. 6-10pm. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku; 242-8680; mauionstage.com CIRQUE POLYNESIA - Mon-Sat. It’s Cirque du Soleilesque with a uniquely Polynesian twist. Enjoy amazing high-wire acts, aerial acrobatics, illusions, and mindboggling contortionists. Starting at $62 (ask about deals for keiki and kama’aina). 6pm. Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa, 200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali; 6674540; maui.hyatt.com / cirquepolynesia.com

TICKETS ON SALE NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - Want to root, root, root for the home team? Cheer your heart out at some (or all!) of the 48 home games this season (May through August). Next series starts Saturday, June 18 against the Lake County Fielders. VIP seating $13 single/$528 season; stadium seating $9 single/$352 season; general admission $6 single/$220 season; military & keiki $4 single/$176 season. Ichiro “Iron� Maehara Stadium, 700 Halia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 877-8880 SAVE THE DATE: EBB & FLOW ARTS’ “A LITTLE MORE SUMMER MUSIC, PLEASE� - Fri, Sat & Sun, June 24 - July 16. World-renowned musicians pres-

ent engaging, avant-garde performances at both Seabury Hall (Olinda Rd., Makawao) and Maui Music Conservatory (Queen Kaahumanu Center, Kahului). Features a celebrated cast of local musicians, dancers and artists. Free. 7;30pm. ebbandowarts.org KI HO’ALU GUITAR FESTIVAL - Sun, June 26. Enjoy the 20th Anniversary of Maui’s Ki Ho’alu (Slack Key) Guitar Festival with some of Hawaii’s best slack key artists. Free. 2-7pm. A&B Amphitheater & Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org KY-MANI MARLEY - Tue, Jul 5. Native 92.5 FM and Maui Brewing Company present reggae royalty plus Maui’s own One Inity. Tickets available at Ocean’s, Bounty Music and Aston Hotel Maui. $40 advance / $45 door. 8pm doors / 9pm show (21+ only). Oceans Bar & Grill, 1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; hightideconcerts.net SAVE THE DATE: A KEANAE KEIKI JAM FEST Sat, Jul 9. A major fundraising event to help raise funds for the revitalization of the old Keanae School as a Hawaiian Culture Focused Charter School. Entertainment includes performances by Lei‘ohu Ryder, Teomon & the Kryptones, also Pekelo, Halau Ka Pa Hula O Ka Ulu Koa “Hula Keikiâ€?, Inside Out, and Jah Residentz, and even a special sky diving event between (9am-10am). Free. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Keanae Ball Park, Keanae Rd., Keanae; 808-281-7201 MAUI ONSTAGE PRESENTS “CHICAGOâ€? - The hottest on-isle musical of the summer commeth! “Chicagoâ€? opens Friday, July 8 and runs through Sunday, July 31. Showtimes are at 7:30pm on Fridays and Saturdays, and 3pm on Sundays. It’s sure to be a sell-out show, so go get your tickets quick, OK? Purchase tickets at If The Shoe Fits (Wailuku), Lava Java (Kihei) or through the Maui OnStage box ofďŹ ce. $15-$40. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku; 242-6969; mauionstage.com SESAME STREET LIVE, 1-2-3 IMAGINE! WITH ELMO & FRIENDS - Fri, Sat & Sun, July 29-31. Elmo, Abby Cadabby, Big Bird and all your kids’ favorite Sesame Street characters will be on hand to entertain. Full of energy and adventure, Ernie captains the high seas, Elmo dances to the rhythm of the African rainforest and Bert meets an octopus who has the blues. Too cool. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org THE THROWDOWNS CD RELEASE BLOWOUT - Sat, Aug 6. Celebrate the release of The Throwdowns’ ďŹ rst full-length album “Legs Of Our Ownâ€? with a starstudded night featuring performances by Maui’s jazz jewel Lily Meola, Big Island’s soul sister Kimie and with special appearances by Marty Dread and MOTH. 5pm gates / 6pm show. Yokouchi Pavilion / A&B Amphitheater, One Cameron Way, Kahului, 242-SHOW (7469), mauiarts.org / thethrowdowns.com JIM BRICKMAN - Sun, Aug 7. Brickman is a platinumselling artist who’s celebrated for revolutionizing the sound of solo piano with pop instruments and starstudded vocal collaborations. $25/ $35/ $50/ $65 (VIP). 3pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org SPIN DOCTORS - Sat, Aug 20. The two princes who adore you will have to compete to see who gets to be your date at the Spin Doctors concert. $55. 8pm. Royal Lahaina Resort, 2780 Kekaa Dr., Lahaina; 1-877-GROOV (47668); groovetikets.com SAVE THE DATE: KU MAI KA HULA 2011 INTERNATIONAL HULA COMPETITION - Sat, Sept 10. The sixth anniversary of this illustrious invitational, presented by Kauahea Inc. and the Maui Arts & Cultural Center. Featuring group and solo performances in kahiko (traditional) and ‘auana (modern) adult male and female categories. For more information, call

the MACC’s director of cultural programs, Hokulani Holt at 243-4269. 1-6pm. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; mauiarts.org

FOODIE

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL: TASTE OF CHOCOLATE - Fri, Jun 17. Six stations of decadent, gooey goodness: milk, dark, white, cake mousse, custard... your sweet tooth won’t know what hit it. $125. 10pm. Four Seasons Resort, 3900 Wailea Alanui Dr., Wailea; mauiďŹ lmfestival.com MAUI FILM FESTIVAL: TASTE OF WAILEA - Sat, Jun 18. The food selection is too expansive to list here, so we’ll just give you the participating restaurants and let your imagination (and taste buds) run wild: Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse, Mala Ocean Tavern, Monkeypod Kitchen, Matteo’s, Gannon’s & Joe’s, Bistro Molokini, Four Seasons, Pita Paradise, Mulligan’s on the Blue, Capische?, Spago and Ko at the Fairmont Kea Lani. Hungry?. $120. 4:30pm. David Leadbetter Golf Academy, mauiďŹ lmfestival.com/ FRIENDS OF DOROTHY DINING CLUB - Tue, Jun 21. The Maui LGBT social dinner meets once a month, every third Tuesday. A lovely opporutnity to socialize over a great meal. 6-8pm. Polli’s Mexican Cantino Restaurant, 1202 Makawao Ave., Makawao; 572-7808 ROY’S CELEBRATES 20 YEARS ON MAUI - Their Underground Dinner is on Friday, and you’ll want to call for all the details. A private party on Saturday features food station-style dining and special guest chefs. Reserve your space! Roy’s Kahana Bar & Grill, 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana; 669-6999; roysrestaurant.com

ANNOUNCEMENTS

SIGN UP FOR A TWO-NIGHT HALEAKALA CRATER SERVICE TRIP - Volunteer in Haleakala Crater over the Fourth of July weekend on a service learning trip to Paliku Cabin. The ranger-accompanied trip includes some education about Haleakala, some service work and also some free time. Participants will exit down the Kaupo Gap and ride back to the park. Call Friends of Haleakala National Park to sign up or for more information. $15 includes cabin, transportation and two dinners. 876-1673; fhnp.org SIGN UP FOR SUMMER READING PROGRAMS AT YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY - Daily. Readers of all ages are invited to participate in the 2011 HSPLS Summer Reading Program “One World, Many Stories,â€? conducted May 31 through July 1. The free, ďŹ ve-week program features outstanding family-friendly storytelling performances by noted actors and artists. Participants who visit the library weekly and read at least one book per week are eligible to receive a free weekly reading incentive, while supplies last. Contact your local library for starting dates and guidelines. Free. librarieshawaii.org

EVENTS THURSDAY, JUNE 16 TURTLE-RRIFIC THURSDAY - Folks of any age will enjoy learning about green sea turtle’s biology, behavior and diet. Held in an up close and personal setting with the aquarium’s curatorial team at the Turtle Lagoon. Complimentary with admission. 2pm. Maui Ocean Center, 192 Maalaea Rd., Maalaea, 270-7000; mauioceancenter.com MAUI FILM FESTIVAL: FEMALE SHINING STAR AWARD PRESENTATION TO OLIVIA WILDE - Essential credits: “Conversations With Other Womenâ€? (2005), “Bickford Shmeckler’s Cool Ideasâ€? (2006), and “Fixâ€? (2008). Signature role: Quorra in “TRON: Legacyâ€? (2011). Upcoming ďŹ lms: “Cowboys & Aliens,â€? “The Change

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

06/16

06/17

06/18

06/19

06/20 - 06/22

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Thirsty Thursday Ladies’ Night w/ DJ Jamn J 9pm; no cover

Bottoms Up Nightclub w/ DJ C, DJ LX & Emcee Jay-J, 10pm; $10

Rock & Roll Night w/ DJ Diesel Dave 9pm; no cover

Simma Down Nightclub w/ DJ JamnJ 10pm; no cover

MON - Open Mic Jam Sesh w/ host Terri Garrison, 9pm / WED - Karaoke Night, 9pm

AMBROSIA

Jamie Gallo, 7pm / Old School Thursdays w/ DJ Del Sol, 10pm

Whatever You Want w/ DJ AstroRaph, 10pm

Sunrize Saturdaze w/ DJ Decka, 10pm

ULTRA w/ DJ CIA, 10pm

MON – Cocktails for a Cause w/ The Mary Jane Xperiement, 8pm / TUE – Summer Solstice Party w/ DJ La Rage, 10pm / WED – Maui’s HI-5 Night (S.I.N.) w/ DJs Del Sol & CIA, 10pm

SLAM feat. David Choy and Clay Mortensen 9pm; $10

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/ DJ Blast & Chilltown, 10pm; $10

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL

Family and Friends, 5-7pm / ROK 8-10pm

672 Front St., Lahaina - 667-0988

CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY

Live Music

Live Music

Surf Tiki Bash w/ Mojomana and DJ EdaKit 10pm; $8/$12

Zion I & The Grouch Healing of the Nation Tour; 10pm; $20/$25

Wavetrain 9pm; $5

Selectah Addamon & Rambo of Judah 10:30pm; $5/$10

Harmonic Resonance w/ Mojomana, 10pm; $10

Junior & Oren 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter D, 7:30-10pm / TUE - Live Jazz, 7-10pm / WED - Ryan Palma, 7:30-10pm (no cover)

500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului - 873-6555

CASANOVA

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE

Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina - 667-0908

DAVID PAUL’S ISLAND GRILL

Friday’s in the Sky Lounge w/ DJ CIA

900 Front St., Lahaina - 662-3000

DIAMONDS ICE BAR

Industry Night

Cane Fire 10pm; no cover

Live Music 10pm; no cover

Jordan & Wolf 10pm; no cover

MON - Gomega / TUE - Rampage (all sets 10pm; no cover)

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB

Quiz Night 8pm; no cover

Jarod 10pm; no cover

Big John 10pm; no cover

Sebrina Barron 10pm; no cover

MON – Jordan / TUES - Chad and Lawaia of Arise / WED - Live music (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Karaoke & Darts

Live Music 9pm-12am; no cover

Karaoke & Darts

WED - Free Pool

Rampage 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Jah Residentz 9pm-close; no cover

Karaoke Industry Night

MON - Karaoke, 8pm-close / TUE - Junior Lacuesta WED - Jordan Cudworth & Open Mic Night

Lahaina Open Mic Night, 7:30-10pm; no cover (all ages)

Sounds of Addiction 5-8pm

Free Salsa Lessons 10-11pm / Latin DJ 11pm; $7

MON - Damon Parillo & Danyel Alana / TUE Jessica Rabbitt & Kanoa / WED - Erin Smith (all sets 7:30-10pm; no cover)

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

WED - Karaoke

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

Up,” “Butter.” Awards presentation precedes the starlight screening of “Sun City Picture House,” produced by Wilde; followed by “I Am” (8:30pm), and “Bali: Life Is An Offering” (10pm). $22 single ticket. 8pm. Celestial Cinema, 579-9244; mauifilmfestival.com/

FRIDAY, JUNE 17 MAUI UNITED WAY’S 42ND ANNUAL MEETING & RECOGNITION LUNCHEON - Join the organization’s celebratory recognition of our community’s accomplishments over the past 2010-2011 Live United Campaign. $35. 11:30am-1:30pm. Kahili Golf Course, Nahele Ballroom, 2500 Honoapiilani Hwy., Wailuku; 244-8787; admin@mauiunitedway.org; mauiuntedway.org UH MAUI COLLEGE INFORMATION TABLE - Learn more about higher education on Maui. Free. 11am2pm. Queen Kaahumanu Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; queenkaahumanucenter.com HUI NO‘EAU 2011 SOLO ARTIST EXHIBITION OPENING - Celebrate the opening of Hui No‘eau Visual Arts Center’s 2011 Solo Artist Exhibition with featured artists Sidney Yee, Kevin Omuro & Scott Groeniger. Free. 5-7 p.m. Hui No’eau Visual Arts Center, 2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao; 572-6560; huinoeau.com FREE SCREENING: “ALL THAT JAZZ” (1979) - A semi-autobiographical musical by director Bob Fosse, inspired by the melee of simultaneously producing his film “Lenny” and Broadway production “Chicago.” Starring Roy Scheider (as Joe Gideon, a womanizing druggie dancer), Ann Reinking and Jessica Lang. Rated R. Doors open at 7:30pm. Free. 8pm. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku; 242-6969; mauionstage.com MAUI FILM FESTIVAL: RISING STAR AWARD PRESENTATION TO ACTOR GARRETT HEDLUND - Essential credits: “Troy” (2004), “Friday Night Lights” (2004), “Eragon” (2006). Signature role: Sam Flynn, “TRON: Legacy” (2011). Upcoming film: “On the Road.” [Awards presentation precedes the starlight screenings of “Hello Caller” and “Submarine”; followed by “The Lost Thing” and “The Future” (10pm). $22 single ticket. 8pm. Celestial Cinema, 579-9244; mauifilmfestival.com/

HUMAN’S MAUI ACOUSTIC TOUR - Human is joined onstage by Divino and Al Torre. The final installment of a four date tour. $15. 8pm. Mandala Ethnic Arts, Baldwin Ave., Paia; thehumanrevolution.com SCHOOL BAND FUNDRAISER - Maui Mall is fundraising for Maui County schools, with donation boxes set up by vendors throughout the mall. 5:307:30pm. Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 871-1307; mauimall.com

SATURDAY, JUNE 18 LAHAINA PA’U PARADE & HO’OLAULE’A Ho’olaule’a begins at Kamehameha Iki Park next to 505 Front St. Parade begins route begins at Kenui St. to Shaw St. Free. 9am. Banyan Tree Park, 649 Wharf St., Lahaina; 888-310-1117

HALAU HULA O KEOLA ALI’IOKEKAI - Live performance. Free. 1pm. Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; mauimall.com

Barefoot Minded, plus games and prizes (12-3pm). See This Week’s Picks for more. Free. Kanaha Beach Park, Kahului; ww2.surfrider.org/maui

NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - The first of a four game series—and second battle—against the Lake County Fielders. Continues through Tuesday, June 21. Single tickets: $4 / $6 / $9 / $13. 6:35pm. Ichiro “Iron” Maehara Stadium, 700 Nalia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 877-8880; nakoaikaikamaui.com

NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - The second installment in a four game series—and second battle—against the Lake County Fielders. Continues through Tuesday, June 21. 2:05pm. Single tickets: $4 / $6 / $9 / $13. Ichiro “Iron” Maehara Stadium, 700 Nalia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 877-8880; nakoaikaikamaui.com

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL: MALE SHINING STAR AWARD PRESENTATION TO ACTOR ANDREW GARFIELD - Essential credits: “Boy A” (2007), “The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” (2009), and “Never Let Me Go” (2010). Signature role: Eduardo Saverin, “The Social Network” (2010). Upcoming films: “The Amazing Spider-Man.” [Awards presentation precedes the starlight screening of “Danny & Annie” and “Beginners”; followed by “A Shore Thing” and “Last Night” (10pm). $22 single ticket. 8pm. Celestial Cinema, 579-9244; mauifilmfestival.com

EXPLORE ALL OF THE ALI’I KULA LAVENDER FARM FOR HALF THE PRICE - Sve 50 percent on all walking tours. With several tour star-times (9:30, 10:30 & 11:30am, as well as 1 and 2:30pm) there’s sure to be an option that’s perfect for you. Reservations required. Continues on July 13, 14 & 30. Ali’i Kula Lavender Farm, 1100 Waipoli Rd., Kula; 8783004; aliikulalavender.com

SOME HERE. ALL ONLINE.

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL: FILMMAKER PANELS - First, at 11am, directors Jack McCoy, Turk Pipkin and Laurent Le Gall and producers David Cumming, Christy Pipkin and Sandrine Di Rienzo will talk about journeys and destinations, specifically as they relate to documentary filmmaking. Next, at 12:15pm, producer/directors Tiffany Shlain, Fitria Putri, Jonathon Kay and Patrick Solomon will tackle nothing less than the future of civilization. Finally, at 1:30pm, the Mauibased filmmakers featured in this year’s festival—Alfredo Villas-Boas, Jace Panebianco, Mike Waltze, Skye Kelly and Eric Gilliom—will expound on their experiences. $10 per panel. Wailea Beach Marriot Resort & Spa, 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea; mauifilmfestival.com

CALENDAR LISTINGS

ON MAUITIME.COM

SANRIO STORE ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION - Say hello to Hello Kitty. 11am-2pm. Queen Kaahumanu Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; queenkaahumanucenter.com

BAND DEBUT: HARMONIC RESONANCE - Catch the rocking debut of Harmonic Resonance with special guest Mojomana. Get a sneak peek of Harmonic Resonance’s new demo at harmonicresonance.bandcamp. com. $10. 10pm-1am. Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon, 142 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-9413; charleysmaui.com

SUNDAY, JUNE 19 INTERNATIONAL SURFING DAY - Sun, June 19 (Father’s Day). Bring your father to care for mother earth. Presented by Surfrider Foundation, Barefoot Wine and Surfing Magazine.Free yoga class by Kahului Community Yoga Center (8am), beach cleanup (9-11:30am), free lunch by Flatbread Co. and entertainment by

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL: COSMIC CLOSING NIGHT POOLSIDE PARTY - Send this year’s fest out in style wtih a swanky waterside soiree featuring food, entertainment and sippables. The thing we’re most excited about? Liquid nitrogen gelato. $60. 10pm. Hotel Wailea, 555 Kaukahi St., Wailea; mauifilmfestival.com

MONDAY, JUNE 20 NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - The third installment in a four game series—and second battle—against the Lake County Fielders. Continues through Tuesday, June 21. 6:35pm. Single tickets: $4 / $6 / $9 / $13. Ichiro “Iron” Maehara Stadium, 700 Nalia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 877-8880; nakoaikaikamaui.com COCKTAILS FOR A CAUSE - This and every Monday (beginning this June), Ambrosia donates a portion of the evening’s proceeds to a worthy Maui non-profit. This week benefits Imua Family Services and is augmented by the tunes of The Mary Jane Xperiement. Ambrosia Martini Lounge, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 891-1011

TUESDAY, JUNE 21 NA KOA IKAIKA BASEBALL - The final installment in a four game series—and second battle—against the Lake County Fielders. Continues through Tues-

JUNE 16, 2011 23

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

06/16

06/17

06/18

06/19

06/20 - 06/22

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

JAVA JAZZ

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

Tracy Stiles 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover

MON - Farzad & Mike Madden / TUE - Ras Shaggai / WED - Rick Glencross

KAHALE’S

Vince Esquire

Kenny Roberts

Eight Track Players

Kahala

MON through WED - Da-Ha-Y-Ns

KIMO’S

1810 6:30-8:30pm

1810 8-10pm

Barefoot Minded 8-10pm

Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm

MON through WED - Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm

Bad Kitty 8-11pm; no cover

Mango Pickers and Billy & The Bad Dogs, 6pm12am; no cover

Bob Jones & Drive 8pm-12am; no cover

Gina Martinelli Band 7-11pm; no cover

MON & TUE - Karaoke Fun Night, 6pm-1am /WED - Kiwi Cowboys 7-10pm (all no cover)

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Aunty Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Aunty Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

LONGHI’S LAHAINA

Crazy Fingers 9pm-1am; no cover

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. 667-0787

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KIWI ROADHOUSE

95 E. Lipoa St., Ste A101, Kihei - 874-1250

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

Live Music & Dancing

Live Music & Dancing DJ Canespider, 11pmclose

Easy Listening w/ Neto 8-10pm DJ AstroRaph, 10pm-close

Karaoke w/ Manino 7:30-11pm; no cover

MON - Service Industry Night WED - Karaoke w/ Manino, 7:30-11 pm

Howard Ahia

Cyrus Clark

Status Party feat. DJ Twizy, DJ Jem and DJ Treb, plus Philly Blunt & Money Mike, 10pm; $10

Kenny Roberts

MON - All Access DJs, 10pm / TUE “Lahaina Idol” Karaoke w/ Troy, 9pm-12am / WED - Kenny Roberts, 5-8pm (all no cover)

MERRIMAN’S

Ranga Pae

Ranga Pae

Ranga Pae

Ranga Pae

TUE - David Choy / WED - Ranga Pae

MOANA CAFE

Phil & Angie Benoit

LULU’S KIHEI

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

LULU’S LAHAINA

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S - LAHAINA

Evan Shulman, 7-9:30pm / Arise, 9:30-11:30pm

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Murray Thorne 6:308:30pm / Pub Quiz Night w/ Trish “The Dish” Smith, 9pm-12am

71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414

day, June 21. 6:35pm. Single tickets: $4 / $6 / $9 / $13. Ichiro “Iron” Maehara Stadium, 700 Nalia Nakoa St., Wailuku; 877-8880; nakoaikaikamaui.com

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 22 KIDS’ DAY OUT AT THE LAVENDER FARM - This special event features face painting, mini bouquetmaking, a treasure hunt and lavender cookie decorating. Lavender lemonade and shortbread cookies provided. Reservations required. $10. 10am. Ali’i Kula Lavender Farm, 1100 Waipoli Rd., Kula; 8783004; aliikulalavender.com SLACK KEY SHOW: MASTERS OF HAWAIIAN MUSIC - George Kahumoku Jr. hosts this Grammy Award-winning concert series. Co-hosted by Da Ukulele Boyz, a different guest artist is featured each week. Dinner/show package available with Sea House Restaurant (adjacent to the concert hall; 5:30pm seating). $39.99. 7:30-9:30pm. Napili Kai Beach Resort Pavilion, 5900 L. Honoapiilani Rd.,Napili; 669-3858; slackkey.com/napilikai.com WOW! WAILEA ON WEDNESDAYS - This week, Leokane and CJ “ Boom” Helekahi bring the sounds of Hana to South Maui. 6:30-8pm. The Shops at Wailea, 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., Wailea; shopsatwailea.com

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CANOES - Fri & Sat, Ras Shaggai 5:30-8:30pm; Sun, Indapkt 3-6pm. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0937. COOL CAT CAFE - Every Thu, Junior & Oren 7:30-10pm; Every Fri & Sat, Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; Every Sun, Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; Every Mon, Peter D 7:30-10pm; Every Tue, live Jazz 7-10pm; Every Wed, Ryan Palma 7:30-10pm. Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina, 667-0908. DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Thu, Damien 3–5pm, Garrett & Peter 6–8:30pm; Fri, Garrett 3-5pm, Kulewa 6-8:30pm; Sat, Tim 3-5pm, Kulewa 6-8:30pm; Sun, Tim 3-5pm, Tim & Miles 6-8:30pm; Every Mon, Brian 3-5pm, Tim & Edee 6-8:30pm; Every Tue & Wed, Brian

24 JUNE 16, 2011

DJ Music

TUE - Open Mic Night

Mark Burnett, 7-9:30pm / Camp Savage, 9:3011:30pm

Evan Shulman, 7-9:30pm

Joshua “Catfish” Cathey Open Jam, 6:30-11:30pm

MON - Tuley & Lanika Tapii, 7-9:30pm / TUE - Kenny Roberts, 7-9:30pm / WED Joshua “Catfish” Cathey, 7pm-12am

Gail Swanson 6:30-8:30pm

Alika Nako’oka, 6:308:45pm / DJ Zeke Kalua 9pm-12am

The Celtic Tigers w/ 6:30-9:30pm / Big John, 10pm-12am

MON - SLAM feat. David Choy, 7-9:30pm; Rocking ‘80s Party 10pm-12am / TUE Brenton Keith & His Bag O’Tricks, 7-8pm / WED - Alika Nako’oka with Kai Nako’oka & Eddee Sebala, 7-9pm; $10/$35

DJ Stylz 10pm; no cover 3-5pm, Alika & Eddie 6-8:30pm. 130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina, 662-2900. HARD ROCK CAFE - Thu, All-ages Open Mic Night 9pm; Fri, Sounds of Addiction 8pm; Sun, Bingo Pajama 4:307:30pm; Mon, Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; Tue, Jessica Rabbitt 7:30-10pm; Wed, Damien 7:30-10pm. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7400. HULA GRILL - Thu, Alika 11:30am-1pm, Ernest Pua’a 1:30-3:30pm, Armadillo 4-6pm, Kulewa 6:30-9pm; Fri, Ernest Pua’a 11:30am-1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 1:30-3:30pm, 1810 4-6pm, Kawika, Roy, & Tarvin 6:30-9pm; Sat, Evan Schulman 11:30am-1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 1:30-3:30pm, 1810 4:15--6:15pm, Will Pohaku 6:30-9pm; Sun, Kawika Lum Ho 11:30-1pm, Ron & Ikaika 1:30-3:30pm, 1810 4-6pm, Derrick Sebastian Trio 6:30-9pm; Mon, Ernest Pua’a 11:30am-1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 1:30-3:30pm, Armadillo 4-6pm, Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Bldg P, Lahaina, 667-6636.

Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina, 661-0808. MERRIMAN’S - Wed-Sun, Ranga Pae; Mon, Benoit Jazzworks; Tue, David Choy. All sets 6-9pm. 1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina, 669-6400. MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S LAHAINA - Every Thu & Sat, Evan Shulman 7:30-9:30pm; Every Fri, Mark Burnett 6:30-9:30pm; Open Jam with Joshua “Catfish” Cathey 6:30-11:30pm; Every Mon, Tulei & Lanika Tapii 6:30-9:30pm; Every Tue, Kenny Roberts 6:30-9:30pm; Wed, Kamaka Camarillo 6:30-9pm. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758 ONO BAR & GRILL - Thu & Tue, Benny Uyetake; Sat, Kealii Lum; Sun, Mitch Keppa; Wed, Scott Baird (all sets 6-9pm). Westin Maui Resort & Spa, 2365 Kaanapali Pkwy., 667-2525.

SUBMIT YOUR

LISTINGS ONLINE

JAVA JAZZ - Thu, Rene Alonzo; Fri & Sat, Farzad & Mike Madden; Sun, Brian Cuomo; Mon, Ashley Welte; Tue, Ras Shaggai; Wed, Howard Ahia (all sets 7pm). 3550 L. Honoapiilani Rd., Lahaina, 667-0787.

CALENDAR LISTINGS MAUITIME.COM/LISTING

KIMO’S - Thu, 1810 6:30-8:30 p.m.; Fri, 1810 8-10 p.m.; Sat, Barefoot Minded 8-10pm; Every Sun, Mon, Tue & Wed, Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811. LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Every Thu, Jarrett & Wilson 3-5pm; Every Sun, Kilohana 3-5pm. Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy. Bldg. J, Ka’anapali, 661-4495. LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Every Thu, Howard Ahia 6-8pm; Every Fri, Cyrus Clark 5-7pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 9am-12pm; Every Mon, Junior 6-8pm. Every Wed, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm. Lahaina Cannery

SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT - Every Tue & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm; Every Sun & Thu, Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Sat, Coehlo Morrison 7-9pm; Every Mon & Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm. 5900 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Napili, 669-1500.

VILLAGE CAFE & SWEET SHOPPE - Thu, Rick Schneideman 5:30-8:30pm; Fri, Glenn Kakugawa 5:308:30pm; Tue, Evan Shulman 6:30-9pm. 2000 Village Rd., Lahaina, 665-1122

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Every Thu, Jamie Gallo 7pm; Every Mon, Cocktails for a Cause (This week’s recipient: Imua Family Services); Every Wed, Red Carpet Movie Night (June is Bill Murray month! This week: “What About Bob”) 7:30pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-1011 BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Every Fri, Tom Cherry & Mike F. 5-9pm; Every Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm. 300 Maalaea Rd. #1M, Maalaea, 243-2286.

CAPISCHE? - Every Fri & Sat, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm. 555 Kaukahi St., Kihei, 879-2224. HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Every Thu, Junior Lacuesta; Every Fri, Mon &Tue, Rick Glencross; Every Sat, Ryan Robinson; Every Wed, Jordan Cudworth. (all sets 4-8pm.) Sun, Mon & Tue, Karaoke 8pm; Wed, Open Mic 9pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., #E, Kihei, 874-1250. KAI WAILEA - Thu, Mon & Sun, Wolf; Fri, Ryan Robinson; Sat, Kanoa; Mon, Tom Conway; Wed, Francois (all sets 6-8:30pm). 3750 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1955. KIWI ROADHOUSE - Thu, Bad Kitty 8-11pm; Every Fri, Mango Pickers and Billy & The Bad Dogs 6pm-1am; Sat, Bob Jones & Drive 8pm-12am; Every Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 7-11pm; Wed, Kiwi Cowboys 8-11pm. 95 E. Lipoa St., Ste. A101, Kihei, 874-1250. LULU’S KIHEI - Every Thu & Fri, Live music and dancing; Every Sat, Easy Listening with Neto 8-10pm; Every Sun & Wed, Karaoke with Manino 7:30-11pm. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 879-9944. MONSOON INDIA - Every Sat, Romantic Violin & Guitar Duets by Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Louise Lambert 6-9pm; Every Tue, Hula Honeys 5:30-8:30pm. 760 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 875-6666. MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu, Murray Thorne 6:30-8:30 pm; Fri, Gail Swanson 6:30-8:30 pm; Sat, Alika Nako’oka 6:30-8:45pm; Sun, The Celtic Tigers 6-9:30 p.m. Wed, Wailea Nights with Alika Nako’oka, Kai Nako’oka and Eddee Sebala 7-9pm. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131. PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Sun, Phil & Angela Benoit 5:30-7:30pm. 34 Wailea Gateway Plaza, Wailea, 879-7177. SHARKY’S - Thu, Jordan Fun 5:30-9pm; Every Fri, Dress Like A Pirate Night 5:30-9pm; Tue, Karaoke Contest with DJ Jay 5:30-9pm. Lipoa Center, 41 E. Lipoa St. Ste. 15, Kihei, 874-5115 SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Every Thu, Erin Smith; Every Fri, Randall Rospond; Every Sat, Tom Conway; Every Sun, Viva La Rumba; Every Mon, Kanoa; Every Tue, Sebrina Barron; Every Wed, Wolf. (all sets 4-6pm.) Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 874-6444.

SPECIAL MAI TAIS $3.50

2PM - 5PM

HAWAIIAN MIX PLATE

fund raising event for akaku tv at akaku center (333 Dairy Rd., Kahului)

Pork & Brisket Sandwich $5

TERIYAKI BEEF, FLAME BROILED MAHI, JASMINE RICE & LOCAL STYLE MAC SALAD OR MIXED GREENS

$15.95

ribs

COMPLETE DINNER

SUNSET SPECIAL

$29.95

4:30PM - 6PM

for $6

10% of sales proceeds will

go to akaku

A KA KU MA UI COMMUNITY

TELEVISION

AIR CONDITIONED DINING ROOM AND OPEN AIR PATIO RIGHT BY THE OCEAN

'SPOU 4U t -BIBJOB .BVJ t -VODI BN QN t %JOOFS QN QN

736 FRONT STREET Ă? LAHAINA 808-661-1125 www.famousdaves.com

There are over 100 things you could be doing today on Maui. Go to mauitime.com for complete weekly calendar listings, and find something to do today.

JUNE 16, 2011 25

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

06/16

06/17

06/18

06/19

06/20 - 06/22

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SCOREBOARDS

Randall Rospond 6-9pm; no cover

Joe Benedett & Randall Rospond, 8:30-11:30pm

Live Music

Dress Like a Pirate Night

DJ Slackin 10pm-close; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm-close; no cover

DJ LX 10pm-close; no cover

Live Music 9pm-12am; no cover

Live Music 9pm-12am; no cover

Ladies’ Night 7pm-close

Live Music 9pm-close

Free Pool 12 - 9pm

STELLA BLUE’S

Ah Tim, 4-6pm / Halie Loren with Tom Conway, Gene Argel and Marcus Johnson; 6-9pm; $15

Ahumanu 4-6pm

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9:15pm-12am; no cover

Gina Martinelli Band 9pm-1am; $3

THREE’S BAR & GRILL

Marty Dread & Friends 10pm

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

1445 S. Kihei Rd. , Kihei -

R.S. SHARKY’S FAMILY RESTAURANT 41 E. Lipa St., Kihei - 874-5115

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

STELLA BLUES CAFE - Every Thu, Ah-Tim 4-6pm; Thu, Halie Loren with Gene Argel, Marcus Johnson and Tom Conway; Every Fri, Ahumanu 4-6pm; Fri, Soul Sessions with Eric Gilliom 7:30pm; Ocean Langlois’s “Tropical Twilight” benefit for Shriners feat. Gail Swanson and Jimmy Mac & The Kool Kats; Every Sun, SLAM featuring David Choy 7-10pm; Every Mon, Tom Cherry & Mike Finkeiwicz 4-6pm; Mon, Supper Club feat. David Pack of Ambrosia 6-9pm; Every Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Every Wed, Randall Rospond 4-6pm. 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei, 874-3779. TAQUERIA CRUZ - Every Tue & Sat, live music - Reggae, Jazz, Blues 5:30-8:30pm. 2395 S. Kihei Rd. #112, Kihei, 875-2910.

MON through WED- Karaoke

Industry Night 9pm-2am; no cover

Undone w/ Ross Q 9:30pm-2am; $10

Spun Out w/ DJ Calcul8 9pm-2am; $10

Closed

MON through WED - Closed

Ladies’ Night 9pm-1:30am; $10

College Night: Next Lvl DJs 9pm-2am; $5/$10 (18+)

Live Music 10pm

Live Music 10pm

Free Karaoke

MON - Free Karaoke / TUE - Thirsty Tuesday & Free Karaoke / WED - Free Karaoke

Next Level Entertainment 10pm

Francois 6-9pm; Every Sun, Fausto 9am-1pm. 500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului, 873-6555.

TIKI BAR & GRILL - Daily, hula show 6:30-7pm and live music 7-9pm.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI

TIKI TERRACE RESTAURANT - Every Ka’anapali Champagne Brunch 9am-1pm.

CAFE DES AMIS - Every Thu, Joe Conte plays The Chapman Stick; Every Sat, live Argentinian music; Every Wed, The Stone Violets 6:30-8:30pm. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-6323. KULA LODGE - Sat & Sun, Jazz music. 15200 Haleakala Hwy., Kula, 878-1535. LOCAL MOCHA CAFE - Fri 6-8pm. 81 Makawao Ave., Pukalani, 573-2859.

RESORT SHOWS

& Sat, live music

CENTRAL MAUI

Kaanapali Beach Club - 104 Kaanapali Shores, 6612000.

Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa- 200 Nohea Kai Dr., 661-1234.

OHANA BAR & GRILL - Every Wed & Thu, live music 5:30-9:30pm; Every Sun, Thu & Sat, torch lighting ceremony 5:30-9:30pm.

POLO BEACH GRILL & BAR - Daily, live music 4-5:30pm. Four Seasons Resort - 3900 Wailea Alanui, 8748000. LOBBY LOUNGE - Daily, torch lighting ceremony and hula 5:30-6:30pm; Every Thu-Wed, Jazz music 8-11:30pm; Every Tue, Jazz music 8-10:30pm; Every Sun, Hawaiian music 8:30-10:30pm.

Ritz-Carlton Kapalua - One Ritz-Carlton Dr., 6696200.

Grand Wailea Resort & Spa- 3850 Wailea Alanui Dr., 875-1234.

ALALOA LOUNGE - Every Fri & Sat, live music 8pm12am.

BOTERO BAR & LOUNGE - Every Wed, live Hawaiian music 5:30-9:30pm.

ON MAUITIME.COM

UMALU - Daily, live music 6:30-8:30pm and torch lighting ceremony 5:30-6pm.

9:30pm.

LONGBOARDS KA’ANAPALI - Daily, solo guitarists and sunset hula dancers 5:30-8:30pm; Every Sun & Wed, live music 5:30-9:30pm.

CALENDAR LISTINGS

WEST MAUI

Sun,

Marriot Maui Ocean Club - 100 Nohea Kai Dr., 6671200.

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

TRADEWINDS POOLSIDE CAFE - Every Thu, Island Favorites with Kawika Lum Ho; Every Fri, Girls Nite Out with Gina Martinelli; Every Sat, Classic Rock with Dominic; Every Sun, Ron Shadian & Friends; Every Mon, Bobby Ingram & Friends; Every Tue, Mike and Mark; Every Wed, Steve Sargenti. (all sets 6-9pm.) 2259 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 891-8860.

26 JUNE 16, 2011

WED - Higgy Jiggy 8:30-11:30pm; $3

Karaoke

THE RED BAR AT GANNON’S, A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT - Thu, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm; Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm. Wailea Golf Club House, 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., Wailea, 875-8080.

CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY RESTAURANT - Daily,

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover

Karaoke

THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Every Thu, live jazz; Every Fri Jeff; Every Sat, Steff Lomeli; Every Mon, Cyrus Clark; Every Tue, Gerit Williams (all sets 7-9pm). 1945-G S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 879-3133.

CAFE O’LEI AT THE DUNES AT MAUI LANI - Every Fri & Sat, Phil & Angela Benoit 5:30-8:30pm. 1333 Maui Lani Pkwy., Kahului; 877-0773.

MON - Tom Cherry & Mike Finkewiecz, 4-6pm / TUE - Tom Conway, 4-6pm / WED - Randall Rospond, 4-6pm; SLAM feat. David Choy, 7-10pm; no cover

Karaoke

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE - Every Thu, Phil & Angela Benoit 6:30-8:30pm; Every Tue, Open Mic Night 6pm. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

ALE HOUSE - Every Fri, Braddah Francis 4-8pm; Every Mon, Terri Garrison 4-7pm; Every Tue, Braddah Francis 4-7pm. Every Mon, Terri Garrison 4-7pm. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877-9001.

MON - Mahalo Monday, 10am - 7pm TUE - Tennis League Night, 8pm-close WED - DJ Dance Party, 8pm-12am

Karaoke

744 Front St., Lahaina

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9350

Industry Night 10pm-close

Randall Rospond 10pm-12am; no cover

THE UNDERGROUND WATERCRESS

MON - DJ Blast / TUE - DJ LX / WED Ladies’ Night w/ The ADD Twins (All sets 10pm - close; no cover)

Live Music

2291 Kaanapali Pkwy. - 667-4080

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

Kanoa 10pm-close; no cover

Unplugged with Erin Smith and Arise, 10pm

TIA JUANA’S BEACH CANTINA TIFFANY’S

TUE - Karaoke Contest w/ DJ Jay

Royal Lahaina Resort 2780 Kekaa Dr., 661-3611. ROYAL OCEAN TERRACE - Every Thu, Fri & Sat, live Hawaiian music 6-8pm.

GRAND DINING ROOM - Every Sun, live Hawaiian music and hula 10:30am-1pm. Makena Beach & Golf Resort - 5400 Makena Alanui, 875-5888. MAKENA BEACH & GOLF RESORT - Every Sun, live music 9am-1pm.

Sheraton Maui - 2605 Kaanapali Pkwy., 661-0031.

The Shops at Wailea - 3750 Wailea Alanui, 8916770.

LAGOON BAR - Daily, cliff diving 6-8pm, torch lighting ceremony 6-8pm, and live music 6-9pm.

THE SHOPS AT WAILEA - Every Wed, WOW! Wailea on Wednesdays live music 6:30-8:30pm.

Sugar Cane Train - 975 Limahana Pl., 661-0088. SUGAR CANE TRAIN - Daily, Sugar Cane Train rides 10am-4pm; Thu, Sugar Cane Train Dinner 5pm.

Wailea Beach Marriot Resort & Spa - 3700 Wailea Alanui, 879-1922. KUMU BAR & GRILL - Daily, hula performance 6:309pm. MELE MELE LOUNGE - Daily, live music 9-11pm.

Warren & Annabelle’s - 900 Front St., 667-6244. WARREN & ANNABELLE’S - Daily (except Sun.), Warren & Annabelle’s Magic Show 5pm.

EAST MAUI Hotel Hana-Maui - 5031 Hana Hwy., 248-8211.

Kaanapali Beach Hotel - 2525 Kaanapali Pkwy., 661-0011.

SOUTH MAUI

HOTEL HANA-MAUI - Every Fri, hula performance 7-8pm.

KANAEHELE ROOM - Daily (except Sun & Mon), “Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages” 4:30-7:30pm.

FAIRMONT KEA LANI - Daily, live music 5:30-

PANIOLO LOUNGE - Every Thu-Sun & Wed, live music 6:30-9:30pm.

Fairmont Kea Lani - 4100 Wailea Alanui, 840-8402.

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JUNE 16, 2011 27

KULA KID

BY ANU YAGI

anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

I’m A Big Kid Now (Kind Of)

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FRIDAY AFTERNOON IS THE MOST POSITIVE, HOPE FILLED PORTION OF THE WEEK. SO HANG OUT WITH JOHNNY A AND SOAK UP THE GREAT VIBES, THE LAUGHTER, THE FREE STUFF, AND (OF COURSE) THE GREATEST ROCK AND ROLL EVER CREATED.

28 JUNE 16, 2011

ow should I know what blooms outside the beer garden? There might once have been a time when I knew, but that was many Blue Moons ago. Because from the moment I plant a kiss on the lip of a glass, I’m locked in until the world spins. At the last few outdoor MACC shows—most recently Sunday’s Republik Music Festival—I’ve joked with friends that whatever is beyond the beer barrier likely smells a lot better. Oh, sweet and supple youth untarnished by cigarettes, booze and life’s crushing defeat! It’s all very Calgon. When people watching, as a now well-seasoned festival-goer, observing the kiddies has taken on a pleasant new dimension. It makes me feel wisely aloof to smirk from behind sunglasses at their quaint exhibitions of concert naivete. Tooboisterous boys inanely bragging, I know them too well. Insecure hoochies, I know them best. And all with a hyper selfaware countenance based on the belief that the world is watching them (it’s not, but I am). But they’ll come along, given some time—and albeit awkward, it’s this growing that’s half the fun. (Though my stomach still turns at the thought of who’s encouragingly smirking at me.) Because experience is only earned with age, there’s some give in the take of training. And so—for the ďŹ rst time in my life—I used a Porta-Potty. The ill-advised practice of martyring my bladder for the sake of my psychology ďŹ nally came to a head. And beyond basic comfort, making room for more beer became a priority. Using the same logic that the under-21 side of the stage smells better, I hypothesized that their so-called toilets must be categorically cleaner, too. So I sauntered across the great divide, and into the fresher air, to test my theory. While swaying in the straight line I met two young men, Landon and Ryan, who guided me on my journey and wished me Godspeed. Afterward, I couldn’t help but chastise them. Inside with no lights, the Porta-Potty is darker than my lungs. This makes it hard to navigate the rotting remains of claustrophobic germaphobes, dead on arrival, before hovering above a pile of poop-soaked toilet paper and praying that the Crap Monster doesn’t surge from the depths to devour my soul. Bad as that was, I did peek into the bathrooms back in the beer garden. It took all of 0.1 seconds to conďŹ rm my suspicions and vow to pee alongside keiki henceforth. In other crappy news: Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. These are the gritty signposts along

the road of the popular Kubler-Ross Model, better known as the ďŹ ve stages of dying, death and grief. But calling DABDA “stagesâ€? is actually a misnomer. As Russell Friedman and John W. James point out in a story for The Skeptic, “Kubler-Ross repeatedly stipulated that a [person] would not go through all ďŹ ve stages, nor would they necessarily go through them in sequence.â€? Good to know. I’ve got denial and depression down like gravity, but I was beginning to worry about having to come around to the whole acceptance bit. See, (TMI Warning!) it’s not uncommon for me to be wracked with loathsome self-pity every time I take a shower (the grout mold’s tortured screams are, in fact, audible). But lately, I’ve augmented this already mournful ritual by pitifully curling up in the corner for a good, soggy sob a la Glenn Close in The Big Chill. My reason for weeping is because this is the last issue of MauiTime helmed by our beloved editor Jacob Shafer. (Maybe I’m bargaining, but I’d rather say it’s his last issue for now. After all, ye ole MT editor Anthony Pignataro is returning to take the ship’s wheel; so you never can tell how tracks on this crazy trail of life might loop.) Oh, he’s kept a steady keel, this vessel grim and daring, and so I’ve called him “Captain.â€? He’s ďŹ rst on my short list of heroes, easily trumping former favorites Jean Luc Picard and Agent Dale Cooper. Jacob has a way of easily articulating all I wish I could say, and being so perfectly perspicacious and enviously disarming, he’s inspired me to think more, to dream better, to ask more questions and get better answers. His only fault is his great faith in me, and by it I’ve reaped the beneďŹ ts of his tutelage, thus becoming (maybe) a better writer—and (certainly) a better person—because of him. I’ve been damned lucky—and frankly, think you’ve been lucky too, dear readers. Though I’ve tried otherwise, I have not been a very good deck hand—polishing portholes when I ought to have been repairing rigging. And while I’m angry at myself for not having done it sooner, now’s the time to trade in my “Fâ€?s for Bâ€?s with regard to ucking-up. But ďŹ rst, I’m going to drown my sorrow in a bottle o‘ something—and ďŹ nd a nice clean place to take a piss. â–

To read more Kula Kid with links and photos and stuff, and to leave comments, visit mauifeed.com/kulakid To share or save: mt.hy.pr/1452k

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com +

HOROSCOPE

Sign Language

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS ...to questions on page 7

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) Take a break. There’s only so much you can accomplish now, and laboring to make progress when tensions are high or chaos reigns is just so much wasted effort. Once the dust settles, people calm down, and your own emotions pull out of their tailspin, you’ll be able to soar swiftly and efficiently to your destination, whereas if you attempt to get there now, you’ll end up in a Bermuda Triangle of sorts, instead, flying in circles and running out of fuel. Go find something else to do, already. When the “weather” clears and it’s safe to continue your journey, you’ll know. CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) The end of something doesn’t have to be a dismal funereal affair, where everyone involved mopes around feeling sorry for themselves. You already know how every ending is a new beginning. In this case, that may very well be cause for outright celebration, not doom and gloom. You’ve had enough of that kind of shit. Turn up the music, tell everyone to wake up and snap out of it, and change things up. It’s time to put on a party hat and drink, not to drown your sorrows, but to loosen you up for something altogether new! LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) Everyone makes mistakes. In most cases, it’s best to own up to yours and fix them. Sometimes, though, it really doesn’t matter. Going to that much effort to rectify something so small will actually just make you seem nitpicky and petty, as well as willing to waste others’ time on something that’s relatively inconsequential. Since those aren’t typical qualities of yours, let this oopsie slide. If and when someone notices and points out your gaffe, admit to it, of course—but until then, assume that it probably doesn’t make a whit of difference, since that’s almost certainly the case. VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) Generally your judgment is rather good, but you only developed it by making some spectacularly disastrous mistakes in the past. Occasionally, one of these will come back to haunt you in some way. There’s no point in denying what happened, but you can easily drive the point home about how you learned from your past stupidity. Don’t go on the defensive if one of these experiences is brought up; it happened, and everyone knows it. However, your more recent life experience has taught you how to deal with uncomfortable situations with grace; this is one of those, so show off your new skills. LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) It’s easy to be friends with someone when they shine. Of course, when they need your friendship the most is when they do something they’re ashamed of (and you probably are, too). Which kind of friend will you be when something like this happens? Will you stick by them, despite their reprehensible or incomprehensible actions? Or will you shun them? Of course, we all know which friend you’d like to be in theory. Can you put it into practice, despite what they’ve done—perhaps something that even horrifies or disgusts you? This week you may find out. SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) If someone claims to be proud of everything they’ve ever done, they’re full of shit, and/or probably too insufferable to be around. Everyone screws up, and pulls crap they’re ashamed of after the fact. I doubt you need this warning, but avoid holier-than-thou types this week, like the plague. They’re not good for your happiness, well-being, or self-esteem, and have little to offer besides their stupid judgmental attitudes. You have a dark side, and even if you’ve done things you’re a little ashamed of, you should be proud of being willing to explore and accept all of yourself. Until they can do the same, don’t bother with them. SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC.21) Sure, all the sexting and naughty chat is plenty of fun, but

until you meet face-to-face, online flirtations pretty much exist only in the realm of fantasy. So much of a connection between two people can only happen when you’re in the same room with each other. Many people have already discovered that what seemed ideal, perhaps even phenomenal, in theory, turned out to be a tremendous disappointment in reality. Until you have hands-on verification that the fantastic dream you’re talking and thinking about will actually work for you, don’t get your hopes too high. This scenario may not be too good to be true, but unfortunately it probably is. CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) When all the pieces don’t quite add up, either the story you’re being told is highly unusual, or it just plain isn’t true. We’re both cynical enough to more or less assume the latter, but just in case this is one of those weird situations, hold off on the accusations. See if you can get any substantiation for the odd scenario that’s being described to you. You can afford to give someone the benefit of the doubt—to a point. Eventually, though, you deserve and should require a little more than having to rely on blind faith. Proof is available, if it exists. Ask for some. AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) Moving too fast happens most often when we’re young, but even older people can get carried away and suddenly find themselves a few steps past where they’re strictly comfortable. It may be difficult to force things backwards a few steps—particularly if there are logistical difficulties, like moving out of your lover’s apartment—but that’s still preferable to the alternative: carrying on as if this was just where you meant to be, even if you’re not feeling it. It’s that kind of false bravado that leads to even more discomfort, and, ultimately, pain and heartbreak. You need to be sure— so give yourself the space to make sure, even if asking for it is very, very hard.

1. Randy Piltz 2. “Heavenly Searcher of the Sea” 3. Two (Jean King, 1978-’82; Mazie Hirono, 1994-’02); two (James Kealoha, 1959-’62; James “Duke” Aiona, 2002-’10)

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PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) I’ve never cheated on anyone in my life. However, just because I never went there doesn’t mean I’d treat anyone who did with righteous, holier-than-thou derision and scorn. I might be more guarded with them, true. However, I choose to believe that people can learn from their mistakes, and even though they may never be free of the impulses that led to those mistakes, they can change their responses to them. Of course, some people will never learn, because they’re incapable or unwilling. Has the person spinning stories to you changed? Or are they just telling tales? That’s this week’s question.

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ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Manifesting what you want is usually relatively easy for you (by that I mean easier than it is for other signs). That’s why you get impatient when it doesn’t happen right away, as soon as you put it out there. When what you’re trying to bring into your life is complex, subtle, or very rare, it’s simply going to take longer. Accept that. Trying to force it to happen before it’s “ready” will just mean ultimately longer delays. Remember that patience you’re supposed to be cultivating? This week (and in the weeks to come), put it to the test.

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TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) Expecting everyone to conform to your standards is slightly ridiculous. Attempting to require them to do so is frankly preposterous. If you’re trying anyway, it’s because you still haven’t yet learned to appropriately pick your battles, because these types of fights either can’t be won, or can only be won by sacrificing something even more valuable; in other words they’re simply not worth the effort. This week, take a step back from any conflicts (or potential conflicts) you’ve got going on. For at least a couple of them, you’ll be happier and better off if you just back off. They’re not worth it. Figuring out which ones will not only make you happier, it’ll make you much likelier to win the battles really worth fighting.

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HEALTH

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NOTICES

ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH IS OFFERING FREE HIV TESTING & COUNSELING (STD/HEP C as well). Mon: Kihei Community Center— 11-2 pm Tues: Wailuku Health Center— all day Wed: *Paia Community Center— 12-3 pm ( 1st, 3rd, (5th) week): *Haiku Community Center—12-3pm (2nd, 4th week) Thur: *Lahaina Comprehensive Health Center—9-12pm Fri: (nonfurlough Fridays) Wailuku Health Center—appt. *=starting 4/1/10 Results in 2 weeks. For more info CALL 984-2129.

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SERVICES

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RECYCLING

RECYCLING DONATE good, clean, reusable items through the ALOHA SHARES NETWORK to local nonprofits. Tax receipts provided by non-profits. No clothing/ shoes A Maui Recycling Group Project 268-4380. www.alohashares.org HOME COMPOSTING Classes sponsored by County of Maui and Sharing Aloha, taught by Wilma of Joy of Worms, held monthly. Registration required. 573-3911. www.joyofworms.com RESIDENTIAL METALS Recycle many metal items! Central Maui Landfill Mon-Sat 6-3 Please kokua: follow posted instructions, No items w/ fluids are allowed. Call Recycle Maui Hotline 270-7880 HABITAT RESTORE Great deals! Discounted prices on Reusable building materials. M-S 9-4 Habitat for Humanity 986-8050 RECYCLE PHONE BOOKS! For drop off locations call 8749095 or go to www.mauicounty. gov/recycle Sponsored by EZToUseIslandPages (the little blue book) Take phone books from West Maui to the phone book container at the Olowalu Recycling & Refuse Convenience Center.

SERVICES

MAUI RECYCLING SERVICE Picks up all your glass, plastic, aluminum, tin, newspaper, & cardboard. Now also: glossy paper & office paper recycling offered. Home Pickup; a convenience for $25.15/mo! Bi-monthly

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HO’OMALUHIA THERAPEUTIC BODYWORK If you are experiencing neck discomfort, lower back pain, or looking for ultimate relaxation, I can help you become a healthier you. I offer a variety of therapeutic techniques. Please visit my website at www.hoomaluhia.com for additional information. You can schedule a relaxing and healing session at my Pukalani studio by calling 280-8557. Aloha, Richard *HEALING HANDS M4M* Treat yourself to a full-body M4M combination nurturing & therapeutic bodywork session. In-calls & out-calls available. Call 242-1122. TAKE A MINI~VACATION Best Bodywork Around! Relaxing, Deeply Releasing, Many Styles Available: Lomi, Thai, Esalen, Tantrik. Experience the Maui Magic call Jamie: 808 875~8388 (Convenient So Kihei Rd) SACRED LOVING TEMPLE Enlightened Intimacy in Feeling fulďŹ lled & Transformed by The Goddess Divine. Bodywork & Tantra Call me now 808 359 1987 For menu of choices, & pics: www. creativeloving.net FIND MAUI’S HOLISTIC EVENTS! Visit www.mauivision.net today and explore our extensive mind, body & spirit listings. New June/ July Maui Vision Magazine out now! Call 669-9091 for info.

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MASSAGE

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AIR MAUI HELICOPTER TOURS 2 FOR 1 SPECIAL! West Maui/Molokai Special. Only Air Maui offers this incredible ight! Call now for your 2 for 1 Kama’aina special or special visitor rate! Expires Dec. 31, 2011. For reservations call 877-7005

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Offering developmental, recreational and competitive training.

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