14.20 Take It From The Top, November 4, 2010, Volume 14, Issue 20, MauiTime

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NOVEMBER 4, 2010

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ISSUE 20

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A ma malignant bone tumor took singer/songwriter Charlie sing Lustman’s upper jaw—and Lust gave him his voice

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “If Lingle and the legislature didn’t have pointless bickering, what would they have?” pg.8

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Contents VOLUME 14

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THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: What body part could you do without? Editor: Jacob Shafer (808) 283-1308 / jacob@mauitime.com @jacobshafer on Twitter Uvula Associate Editor: Anu Yagi (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com @anuheayagi on Twitter Right index finger Proofreader: Dina Wilson Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Beau Ewan, Jory John, Nancy Kanyuk, Doug Levin, Jared Libby, Greg Mebel, Avery Monsen, Rob Parsons, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Sara Tekula, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Art Director: Chris Skiles chris@mauitime.com / lucky11studios.com Left testicle

ISSUE 20

5 NEWS & VIEWS Coconut Wireless eulogises Andy Irons. With the general election in the rearview, we break down the results. Open Letters ďŹ nally reads Harry Potter. Quizunderstood asks about pig gods and recycled vacuums. Hawaiian Electric squeezes proďŹ ts in By the Numbers. Lingle and the legislature still hate each other in Spin Cycle. A lady gets sawed in half in News of the Weird. Eh Brah! slaps back.

10 FEATURE STORY

Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia, Christina Tarleton

When musician Charlie Lustman lost part of his jaw, he found his calling. Anu Yagi explains.

Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Toenails

13 FOOD & DRINK

General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Left eye ball

Jen Russo goes Greek at the new Pita Paradise location and previews a month’s worth of foodie events.

Administrative Executive: Judy Toba (808) 244-0777 / judy@mauitime.com Brain

16 FILM CRITIQUE

Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown

Barry Wurst II says Saw 3-D is a dull blade.

Web Design: Linear Publishing www.linearpublishing.com

17 Film Capsules/Listings

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Liver

18 THIS WEEK’S PICKS First Friday in Wailuku, funnyman Bret Ernst at the MACC, a Stomp Out Hunger beneďŹ t and crayon art.

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright Š 2009 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime. MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of the MauiTime

20 Da Kine Calendar 21 Grid

28 BACK PAGES

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NOVEMBER 4, 2010

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NOVEMBER 4, 2010

BY JACOB SHAFER

NEWS&VIEWS

jacob@mauitime.com + @jacobshafer on Twitter

Coconut Wireless PHOTO BY JOSE GOULAO

The Write to Vote

B

y the time you read this, you will have already voted (or not voted). And, like many, you may wonder why there weren’t any blank spaces for write-in votes on the ballot. It’s a question that came up a lot this year, perhaps not surprising considering the high level of voter dissatisfaction. The answer is simple: Hawaii doesn’t allow write-in votes. And, according to a 1992 Supreme Court decision, it doesn’t have to. In 1986, a man named Alan Burdick mounted a legal challenge against Hawaii’s no-write-in policy. Six years later, in Burdick v. Takushi, the high court ruled that the lack of a write-in option doesn’t violate the Constitution. Not everyone agreed. In a dissenting opinion, Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote that banning write-in votes “imposes on the right of voters...to vote for the candidate of their choice” and leaves some with “no way to cast a

Surfing Loses a Legend, Hawaii Loses a Son

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he surfing world was rocked this week by the loss of Hawaii-born pro Andy Irons, a generational talent and one of Kauai’s favorite sons. According to a release from Jodi Wilmott of the Vans Triple Crown, Irons was suffering from Dengue fever and, after pulling out of an event in Puerto Rico, died during a layover in Texas on a return

Native Hawaiians and Caucasians have the state's highest cancer rates, while the lowest rates were found among Chinese and Filipino females. meaningful vote.” Further, Kennedy noted, the “petitioner’s dilemma is a recurring, frequent phenomenon in Hawaii because of the state’s ballot access rules and the circumstance that one party, the Democratic Party, is predominant.” Eighteen years later, that certainly hasn’t changed.

trip to the Garden Isle. He was 32. Irons won three consecutive world titles between 2002 and 2004 along with numerous other awards and events—most recently the Billabong Pro Tahiti earlier this year—and established a friendly but fierce rivalry with fellow icon Kelly Slater. Irons is survived by his brother Bruce

NEWS BRIEFS

Irons, also a pro surfer, and his pregnant wife.

Dog Park Rules Up For Discussion

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f you have a dog, chances are you have an opinion about Maui’s dog parks. If so, mark your calendar: on Thursday, November 18 the Parks and Recreation Department will hold a public hearing concerning draft regulations for the County’s pooch playgrounds. The meeting will begin at 11am at the Waikapu Community Center. (Yes, late morning on a weekday— don’t tell us, tell the County.) Before you go, you can read the draft rules at co.maui.hi.us or call 270-8061 for more info.

State Releases Cancer Findings ore than 6,000 people get cancer every year in Hawaii and another 2,000-plus die from the disease. That’s according to Hawai‘i Cancer Facts & Figures 2010, a report released last week by the Hawaii Comprehensive Cancer Control Coalition (HCCCC) and the state Department of Health (DOH). Native Hawaiians and Caucasians have the highest cancer diagnosis and mortality rates, while the lowest rates were found among Chinese and Filipino females. Overall, cancer is Hawaii’s second-leading cause of death. In addition to the report, HCCCC also released an action plan aimed at increasing early detection and improving care statewide. “Everyone in Hawaii, at some point, will be touched by cancer, whether it is their own personal struggle or supporting and caring for loved ones,” said DOH director Chiyome Fukino. Fukino said survival rates are on the rise, but added that “there is still much to be done.” To learn more, visit hawaii.gov/health. ■

M

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The Blog Roll “Mama pajama rolled out of bed and she ran to the polling station…” As with the primary elections, I had to tromp through the bushes to take a photo of...

MAUIFEED.COM

A bevy of cocktails: Previewing the happy hour menu at South Maui’s Capiche? and the martini menu is...

MAUIDISH.COM

A good-sized crowd gathered last weekend outside the Iao Theater, ahead of the haunted house’s opening. Moaning zombies shuffled about, eliciting...

MAUIVENTS.COM

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BY JACOB SHAFER

NEWS&VIEWS

jacob@mauitime.com + @jacobshafer on Twitter

Election Reflections

MAUI VOTES

Results and analysis from a night of Hawaii-style democracy

I

n November 2008, a crowd gathered at Akaku’s Kahului plaza and watched Barack Obama announce the arrival of “a new dawn of American leadership.” Almost exactly two years later, with another election in the books, that new dawn has turned into an uncertain day. At the national level, Republicans reclaimed the House of Representatives while the Democrats narrowly held the Senate. A few Tea Party favorites, including poster boy Rand Paul of Kentucky, rode a wave of muddled discontent to victory, though the “tsunami” some were predicting turned out to be a mild swell. And, it’s safe to say, the outcome in Washington will be the same: partisans will bicker, lobbyists will lobby and the great American experiment will keep lurching forward.

and Council Chair Danny Mateo, but fringe players like “Free Energy” gubernatorial hopeful Daniel Cunningham, who checked in via Skype and earnestly explained his plan to build “a floating city.” The pizza was gone, the crowd had thinned and even the candidates’ impressive leis (which sometimes seem to multiply of their own accord) were drooping when the second print-out arrived. Now we had actual results to report: Alan Arakawa would reclaim the Mayor’s office from Tavares four years after she took it from him. Don Couch would send South Maui Council incumbent Wayne Nishiki to defeat on his second try. Elle Cochran would succeed Jo Anne Johnson as West Maui’s Council representative after pulling away from opponent Alan Fukuyama. Mike White would claim the Makawao-Haiku-Paia

The campaign is over. It’s time to put away the signs and slogans and matching T-shirts and get down to the messy, often frustrating work of governing. But this year at Akaku’s bi-annual autumn bash, we weren’t so much focused on the rest of the country. There were plenty of interesting races close to home—plus John Cruz was playing and there was free pizza. Most of the politicians who stopped by—draped in leis and wearing their election-night finest—paused at the MauiTime table to say hello (including Council wannabe Lisa Gapero, who we called “not merely a bad choice, but a potentially dangerous one” in last week’s endorsement issue). It was the end of a grueling marathon of forums, signwaving and meet-and-greets, and clearly the hopefuls were emptying the last of their charm reserves. Really, by the time the party stared at 6pm, the outcome was already decided—we merely had to wait for the results. And wait we did. The first print-out from the state Office of Elections arrived almost an hour late, which is predictable but still frustrating—for the politicians trying hard to appear calm, and for members of the media trying hard to find questions left to ask. But we played our parts, with Akaku’s crew—including anchors Kathy Collins and Jeff King—gamely filling the gaps, and giving time to not only mainstream candidates like Mayor Charmaine Tavares

seat, soundly beating Kai Nishiki. WailukuWaihee-Waikapu incumbent Mike Victorino (who scooted over to the MauiTime table to view the results like a kid on Christmas morning) would trounce Gapero. On Lanai, Riki Hokama would get his old job back, besting Matt Mano. Only one Council race remained too close to call: the East Maui contest between incumbent Bill Medeiros and Bob Carroll, who was Medeiros’s predecessor. (When the final precincts reported in the wee hours, Carroll edged Medeiros by a mere 56 votes.) Neil Abercrombie and Brian Schatz sprinted ahead early in the night and never relinquished their lead, easily beating Duke Aiona and Lynn Finnegan to become Hawaii’s next Governor and Lieutenant Governor. In a statement, Abercorombie said the election was about a “desire for change” and promised that “our best days are ahead of us.” It didn’t rouse on the level of Obama in ’08, but there was a smattering of polite applause when Akaku “numbers man” Dick Mayer called the race for Abercrombie. On a night when national Democrats suffered big losses, Rep. Mazie Hirono and Sen. Dan Inouye cruised to reelection. Same goes for most of the state legislative incumbents: Republican upstarts failed to seriously challenge Sen. Shan Tsutsui

or Reps. Gil Keith-Agaran, Joe Souki, Kyle Yamashita, Angus McKelvey and Mele Carroll. Only one incumbent legislator went down: controversial South Maui Rep. Joe Bertram—a guy who once grew medical marijuana in his office—lost in a squeaker to former MPD captain George Fontaine. As for the County Charter and state Constitutional amendments, voters agreed that budget surpluses should sometimes be stashed for a rainy day, that the Board of Education should be appointed by the Governor (though Maui County voted “no”), that tax money should be set aside for affordable housing, that candidates’ financial disclosure statements should be filed earlier and that the County Council should get more time to finalize the budget (and the Mayor less time). As we folded our tables, powered down our laptops and waved goodbye to the small handful of staff and stalwarts still milling around, Mayor-elect Arakawa walked past, his shoulders now literally heaped with leis. He was headed for the studio for another interview and he was smiling, naturally. But behind the smile was something else, harder to peg: weariness, sure, but maybe also resignation. The campaign is over. It’s time to put away the signs and slogans and matching T-shirts and get down to the messy, often frustrating work of governing. We all hope these politicians can make a difference, otherwise we wouldn’t vote. (“All,” in this case, meaning 49.7 percent of registered voters.) But we’ve also seen enough elections and sat through enough speeches and heard enough promises to know that new dawns are fleeting. ■

Can’t get enough election info? Visit our news blog, mauifeed.com, and follow us on Twitter, @mauitime To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1420u

News. .com

THE WINNERS ARE... GOVERNOR Neil Abercrombie LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR Brian Schatz U.S. SENATOR Dan Inouye U.S. REP. (DISTRICT 2) Mazie Hirono STATE SEN. (DISTRICT 4) Shan Tsutsui STATE REP. (DISTRICT 8) Joe Souki STATE REP. (DISTRICT 9) Gil Keith-Agaran STATE REP. (DISTRICT 10) Angus McKelvey STATE REP. (DISTRICT 11) George Fontaine STATE REP. (DISTRICT 12) Kyle Yamashita STATE REP. (DISTRICT 13) Mele Carroll MAYOR Alan Arakawa COUNTY COUNCIL: EAST MAUI Bob Carroll WEST MAUI Elle Cochran WAILUKU-WAIHEE-WAIKAPU Mike Victorino KAHULUI Joe Pontanilla SOUTH MAUI Don Couch MAKAWAO-HAIKU-PAIA Mike White UPCOUNTRY Gladys Baisa LANAI Riki Hokama MOLOKAI Danny Mateo For complete results, visit hawaii.gov/elections

NOVEMBER 4, 2010

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NEWS&VIEWS

By the NUMBERS

$22 million Third-quarter profit of Hawaiian Electric Industries’ utilities

27 percent Portion of that profit that was the result of rate hikes on Oahu and Maui

2,100 feet Length of the new international arrivals corridor at the Honolulu Airport, which was completed last week

$37 million Cost of the project—approximately $17,620 per foot

QUIZunderstood 1. This week, actor James MacArthur, better known as Danny “Danno” Williams from the original Hawaii Five-O, died. MacArthur was “Danno” throughout the series’ run, but a different actor played the part in the pilot episode. Name him. BONUS: What actor plays “Danno” in the remake currently airing on CBS?

2. Swedish company Electrolux has begun manufacturing vacuum cleaners made with recycled plastic trash from what Hawaii beach?

3. Kamapua‘a, a half-man, half-pig Hawaiian god, is associated with the humuhumunukunukuapua‘a. What pig-like trait does the fish possess? See answers, page 29

Sources: Hawaiian Electric Industries, Hawaii Department of Transportation

SPINcycle

Sinking to a New Furlough... Last week, at a meeting of the cumbersomely named Legislative Federal Economic Stimulus Program Oversight Commission, chair Kate Stanley suggested Gov. Lingle didn’t use federal dollars “in the most wise way” to end Furlough Fridays and put students back in the classroom. Though Lingle spokesperson Linda Smith was there to defend her boss, the Governor couldn’t resist issuing a snippy statement the following day, in which she called the meeting a “clumsily disguised” attempt to score political points ahead of the election. Probably true—on both sides. Also true: now that Furlough Fridays are over—and with our schools facing significant ongoing challenges— bickering about the issue is pointless and unproductive. Of course, if Lingle and the legislature didn’t have pointless, unproductive bickering, what would they have? - JS

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NOVEMBER 4, 2010

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

NEWS&VIEWS

chuck@mauitime.com +

EH BRAH!

NEWS OF THE WEIRD CUTTING OFF THE FOOT TO SPITE THE LEG In October, Greece’s largest health insurance provider announced, in a letter to a diabetes foundation, that it would no longer pay for the special footwear that diabetics need for reducing pain but suggested it would pay instead for amputation, which is less expensive. The decision, which the foundation said is not supported by international scientific literature, was published in the prominent Athens newspaper To Vima and reported by the U.S. news site DailyCaller.com.

COLD STONED A shop in Santa Cruz, California, opened in September selling ice cream infused with extract of marijuana. Customers with medical marijuana prescriptions can buy Creme De Canna, Bananabis Foster or Straw-Mari Cheesecake, at $15 a half-pint (with one bite supposedly equal to five puffs of “really good” weed, according to the proprietor).

THE LORD’S DOMAIN Shareholder James Solakian filed a lawsuit in October against the board of directors of Bible.com, on the ground that the URL—a potential “goldmine,” he says—was not being properly exploited financially. Although the company’s business plan was, explicitly, to become “very, very profitable,” it also vowed, according to a Reuters report, to be governed by “Christian business principles.”

CUTTING-EDGE MEDICINE Janis Ollson, 31, of Balmoral, Manitoba, is recovering nicely after being almost completely sawed in half in 2007 by Mayo Clinic surgeons, who concluded that they could remove her bone cancer no other way. In experimental surgery that had been tried only on cadavers, doctors split her pelvis in half, removed the left half, her left leg and her lower spine (and the tumor) in a 20-hour, 12-specialist procedure.The real trick, though, was the eight-hour, 240-staple reconstruction in which her remaining leg was reconnected to her spine with pins and screws, leaving her in an arrangement doctors likened to a “pogo stick.” A September Winnipeg Free Press story noted that, except for the missing leg,

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

she is leading a normal life with her husband and two kids and enjoys snowmobiling.

SLIME GOOD ENOUGH, SLIME SMART ENOUGH... Two University of Sydney researchers reported recently that the food-acquisition “strategy” of the brainless, single-cell slime mold appeared to resemble one of the strategies familiar to us so-called brain-containing humans, specifically, making a selection only after comparing it to readily available alternatives. Furthermore, Japanese researchers who mapped the slime mold’s search for food found that its nuclei are arranged in a pattern that is seemingly just as logically helpful in food procurement as the service arrangements are in Tokyo’s acclaimed railway system.

ehbrah@mauitime.com You hit me. I have been waiting tables for a long time and don’t even like it when a customer touches me to get my attention when a simple “excuse me, miss” would do. But you hit me. Not just a tap, but a hit, and it hurt. I couldn’t tell you what a rat bastard I think you are because I unfortunately need my crappy job to pay for college. But you should be ashamed of yourself. You hit a girl. So if you were wondering why I never came back to your table even when your (probably battered) wife was shrieking to call me over, it’s because you are too rude to be served. Learn some manners before you go out in public again. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1420e

PATRIOTISM, RUSSIAN STYLE In September, Russia’s finance minister publicly urged citizens to step up their smoking and drinking, in that the government’s new “sin” taxes mean more revenue. “If you smoke a pack of cigarettes,” he said, “that means you are giving more to help solve social problems.”

GOOD NEWS FOR TOM SELLECK In research results announced in June, a team led by a University of Oklahoma professor, studying Mexican molly fish, discovered that females evaluate potential mates on sight, based on the prominence of the moustache-like growths on males' upper lips. More controversially, the researchers hypothesized that males further enhance their mating prowess by employing the "moustache" to tickle females' genitals.

TRAGIC IRONY A 45-year-old, out-of-town man was killed in a street robbery in Oakland, California, in July after he became distracted while typing a location into his cell phone’s map program to find his way to a job interview. The appointment was at Google Inc. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1420n

Overheard “I’m supposed to be a guy who everyone asks what he’s supposed to be.” - Costume-less man in Kihei on Halloween night

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NOVEMBER 4, 2010

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A malignant bone tumor took singer/ songwriter Charlie Lustman’s upper jaw—and gave him his voice BY ANU YAGI

T

HE SAW. IT WAS THE LAST THING CHARLIE LUSTMAN REMEMBERS SEEING AS HE WAS WHEELED INTO THE OPERATING ROOM, IN THE QUIVERING MOMENTS BEFORE THE WORMHOLE OF ANESTHESIA. It was the kind of saw that could cut through human bone—the vertebrate-

10 NOVEMBER 4, 2010

defining connective tissue that the American Society for Bone and Mineral Research describes as having the strength of cast iron—and it was the biggest, baddest tool in the arsenal. It had to be; it was about to remove the left half of Lustman’s upper jaw. “Wanna see?” he asks me during our interview, eyes sparkling like a kid about to

show off his first set of stitches. We’re sharing “war stories” outside Paia’s Cafe Des Amis, so he takes a few mischievously furtive glances. “I’ve gotta wait until no one’s looking,” he says. “Don’t want to freak anyone out.” With the coast clear, he removes his prosthetic piece—a sort of hyper-dilated denture that replaces a disconcertingly large piece of of his skull. The flesh of his face falls limp, like an old man swooped in to possess just the left cheek of this 45-year-old, and he holds

his mouth agape so I can peer into the void. Then, he pops the prosthetic back in, adjusting it with a practiced wiggle, and you’d be none the wiser but for a thin wire protruding near his right incisor. It started as a tiny lump on Lustman’s gum line that turned out to be a rare form of osteosarcoma. “I have a one-in-400million-diagnosed cancer,” he says, and makes the whirling onomatopoeia of slot machine sirens. “The odds are something like winning the lottery twelve times, or being struck by lighting nine times.” But for Lustman, “why me?” quickly turned to “why not me?” as he asked himself, “Who else, if not me? My neighbor? My mother? My pregnant wife?” From the moment he embraced his “luck,” he resolved, “I’m going to do cancer my way.” That meant redefining his identity as a musician—with or without his top jaw— chronicling his experiences in his album, Made Me Nuclear, writing a one-man operetta and embarking on his “campaign of hope,” aimed at making obstacles seem surmountable and “making cancer survival popular.”

At the end of his motivational presentations—at schools and churches and wellness centers—Lustman says he likes to take out his prosthetic, hold it up and ask, “What’s stopping you from doing what you love? What’s stopping you from finding a positive way through your challenges?”

I

t was March 1, 2006, when Lustman received the news “that it was all gonna change.” He was in the studio working on Shaya, a 13-track ode to his burgeoning family’s firstborn son. Little more than a week prior, a nervous periodontist had biopsied that tiny bump on his gum line, so with the jitter of impending news roiling within, he broke a cardinal rule of recording and brought his cell phone into the sound booth. It rang mid-track as he belted the song “Shayalala,” and—as he’d later write into the song “The Call”—“it felt like someone shot me.” Uncertain survival rates aside, a malignant tumor growing in his maxillary arch seemed to spell certain death for Berkelee College of Music graduate with a career that had included commercial jingle writing and musical direction for ABC’s Mike and Maty Show. In a way, though, Lustman did win the lottery. Cancer is expensive (I’d know; as I write this it’s been a year to the day since my own leukemia diagnosis, and I’ve spent much of it paying off the bills), but the very week Lustman got “the call” he’d also sold his business of seven years (in a morbidly ironic twist, it was a silent movie theater). “I got a hefty paycheck and a cancer diagnosis in the same week. I went from ‘Woo hoo! I’m rich!’ to ‘Oh, God! I’m going to die!’” he remembers. “So, of course, I went online. After about an hour of being miserable and frightened, I decided never to go online again.” Lustman is the kind of guy who gets kicked out of his cancer support group for being too supportive. “I’ve always been on the positive side of things,” he says, though he admits he first joined his support group—as many do— to gripe about the woes of chemo. “Don’t block your fear—have it,” he says. “Go through that emotion until it’s taken you as far as you can go and then say, ‘OK, that’s one interpretation—let’s flip it. Let’s look at the polar opposite of that feeling and focus on that for as much time as you focused on it being scary.’ You’ll start to relax. It’s a therapeutic process that works for everyone and everything.” Lustman traces his optimistic outlook to a cancer patients’ retreat in Montecito, California, which he says was “about being positive to heal yourself.” Led by the late Dr. O. Carl Simonton—the radiation oncologist who brought psycho-social treatment to mainstream medicine by preaching that “emotions significantly influence health and recovery from disease”— Lustman says the retreat “totally opened me up to a new way of seeing things.” (He also recommends that anyone experiencing illness immediately read Simonton’s Getting Well Again.) “On the third or fourth day, at about midnight, I couldn’t sleep and got up,” he recalls. “I wandered through the night to the main church of the monastery, filled with lit candles. Nobody was there. But

there on the wall was a 30-by-40-foot wood-carved Jesus on the cross. It was magnificent—and shocking—dripping blood carved of wood.” Verging on epiphany, he says he looked up at the statue and thought, “OK. I think I got it. First of all, I think you’re cool. You preach love. You broke the rules. You sacrificed. And you brought me here tonight. Why did you bring me here?” “I’m not a religious guy,” he injects. “I’m spiritual, but not religious. But I looked down, and under [Jesus’] feet is a piece of furniture with a tarp covering it. I pull the tarp off and there’s an upright piano—an old spinet one—and I look up and am like, ‘Yeah, man. I get it.’ So I sit down and out flows...”

centers, wellness communities—anywhere they’d have me. I adapted the collection as a staged, one-man operetta, and performed it for almost 11 months at a theater in LA. I’ve been working. And so he lets me stay.”

L

ustman’s album and operetta are both titled Made Me Nuclear “because that’s what they did,” he says, referencing the radioactive dyes pumped through his system for the necessary bone scans. Though the tumor was deemed isolated, after the two extensive maxillectomy surgeries, doctors informed him he’d also have to undergo 20 rounds of adjuvant chemotherapy, “just in case.”

For Lustman, “why me?” quickly turned to “why not me?” as he asked himself, “Who else, if not me? My neighbor? My mother? My pregnant wife?” Now Lustman begins to sing for me, in his sandpaper voice the tone of apple juice, “Almost everyone I’ve known has been afraid of the call / Then my phone rings and he tells me it’s all gonna change / So I listen to the doctor, but I don’t hear anymore / As he tries to explain, I’m standing unable to move...” He finishes his song and explains, “The chords were just coming out. I finished the first verse, and I [realized] I’m supposed to write this, in song in verse, from the first thing that happened, all the way through my treatment, out to the other side, better than I was before I started.” Back in his bunk, he says he “looked to the sky” and in response to a voice that asked him “Why you?” said, “I’m going to tell this story for others, to help them through.” He says the voice returned to him and said, “Do it. But you’d better do it. I’ll be watching you.” “Here I am, almost for four years later,” he says. “I wrote the collection. I produced it as a Pop record. I’ve played in cancer

“I’ve always been very into natural things, so I was kind of confused over the concept of chemotherapy,” he says. “Confused over the concept of destroying everything to get to the one dangerous thing.” Again he sings to me, strumming his bright, retina-burning Martin guitar, the lyrics this time about grappling with Western convention. Ultimately he decided to opt for chemo, his thoughts heavy with his young son and pregnant wife. “They were the motivating factor in deciding to take the most lethal chemicals in the world and run them through my body for a year. But I decided, I’m was going to do the natural approach as well,” he says. “I was going to do all those things ‘just in case,’ too, so I could take chemo better than anyone’s ever taken chemo before.” It’s then I notice the little sewn slits in biceps of his self-branded, self-designed longsleeved T-shirt, and I exclaim, “Oh! For PICC lines?” He beams and we chorus, “For PICC

lines!” and hold out our arms to compare the little dotted scars where catheters were once inserted into our brachial veins, through to our hearts’ right artiums—a chamber that churns a liter of blood every minute and makes receiving chemo (or anything) easier because aggressive chemicals never have the chance to touch the vascular wall. He was a good patient, and kept but one PICC line for all 20 rounds. I had but four intravenous rounds, but manage to boast five pukas. It’s a fact that illustrates both our similarities and our differences as patients, and as survivors. Lustman delves a lot into the emotional side of illness, but forever rebounds to buoyant affirmations and colorful shtick, which plays well with his most common audiences—school kids, church-goers and hospital patients. Personally, I tend to err toward the technical, mildly morbid end of the spectrum with (hopefully humorous) self depreciation as my go-to gimmick. He began making an upbeat album on the anniversary of his diagnosis. On mine, I got a skull tattoo. “Do you ever find that people are critical of you talking about cancer too much?” I ask (it’s a fair criticism I’ve faced myself). “Just once,” he says. “A critic reviewing the show said I didn’t put enough angst into it—[though] there’s a scene where I relive the pain of every side effect. But it’s otherwise been nothing but positive.” I side with that critic to some degree, and find Lustman’s lyrics—while certainly honest—a tad too literal. Yet I rejoice in the fact that he creates despite and because of his ordeal, and that his life’s mission is to now spread hope to everyone, for every reason. And it works. After speaking with Lustman, I found myself reflecting on the seeds of my own resolve: When I was a teen, seeing a bald young woman sitting outside the Pacific Cancer Center, resiliently smoking her cigarettes with a bring-it-on snarl. The combat wazas taught to me by iaijutsu senseis. Being fresh off my first air ambulance, seeing room after room of gaunt, gray faces as they wheeled me into the ward I would come to call home. Promising myself then that would not be me. “You really have the ability to control a lot of what’s going on in this show,” says Lustman. “Now they call me “NED”: No evidence of disease. I’m here and I feel great.” He feels great because he did it his way. And he’s here to tell you that whatever your battle, you can choose your way, too.

C

harlie Lustman moved to Maui ten months ago, and is thrilled that “she hasn’t spit me out yet.” He is available to perform at schools and churches and wellness centers, even corporate outfits. Also, he’s got December 18 secured at the ‘Iao, where he’ll be performing songs from Made Me Nuclear. But, he’s quick to emphasize, “it isn’t the all-about-Charlie Lustman show.” He’s currently master-planning the event to feature local musicians, with the help of oft-missed Eha Pool Bar diva Tami Solomon. If you’re interested in joining his campaign or want to learn more, visit mademenuclear.com. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1420a

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FOOD & DRINK

BY JEN RUSSO jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso on Twitter

Greeking Out

New Pita Paradise location showcases generations of Mediterranean flavor Pita Paradise Wailea Wailea Gateway Center, 34 Wailea Gateway Pl. 879-7177, open 7am-10pm

T

he Arabatzis family has generations of Mediterranean cuisine experience to share with Maui—so much, in fact, that it can’t be contained in one restaurant. And so they opened another one, the new Pita Paradise location in Wailea. The culture of food runs deep in Greece. Did you know people have been eating feta cheese since the Byzantine? It was good then and it rocks now. You may already be familiar with the the Arabatzis’ food. The Greek Bistro, now closed, was started in 1988 by John Sr., while Pita Paradise in Kihei opened was more than eleven years ago by John Jr. and his wife Christine, and is still going strong with its casual but delicious Mediterranean offerings. While the Wailea and Kihei restaurants share the same name—and both have lots of great Arabatzis recipes—the similarities end there. “My father is from the Grecian islands and

PHOTOS BY ER

HAEL HOW SEAN MIC

ni Fettuccin Chicken

introduced an ethnic, Greekflavored cuisine to Maui,” says John Jr., who adds that he learned to cook at The Greek Bistro and has been preparing food for two decades, since high school. The new location has a gorgeous full bar, an extended wine list and a spacious dining room with air conditioning that gives way to large windows looking out at the open-air lanai seating. A mural adorns the wall, telling a story of the family’s dedication to sharing their food traditions with Maui. Christine

Arabatzis, who oversees the restaurants, nts, in tthe lamb designed the room to be elegant and d sala salad and the comfortable, awash in warm tones with med medalions modern stucco walls. entr entree, but The breakfast menu is unique with ith if yo you really its Greek-inspired dishes, like the wan want to go egg with feta and basil pita, and thee Gree Greek get the Mediterranean skillet. They have a Greek Gods pastry chef who comes daily to make ke Platte Platter, which fresh baked goods. The lunch menu u featur features all has lots of pita sandwiches, fresh of the family salads and pasta dishes, all available specia specialties: for take out as well. mous moussaka, The Pita Paradise crew have a gyro, spinach special connection to the bounty tiropit tiropita and of the Pacific Ocean, something thee tzaziki tzaziki. The Pita Greeks lack. The once-abundant Paradis Paradise gyro Mediterranean Sea is overfished and d isn’t m made on a polluted and fishing is threatened. spit, bu but rather On Maui, John Jr. fishes for the from ha hand-sliced, restaurants on his boat, “The grilled lleg of Ricket,” catching ahi, mahi, lamb. ono and local bottom fish like The n new bar is Left to Right: opakapaka, onaga, gindai, lehi, and decked out with hapu (seabass). a cockta cocktail menu Casbere-ParadRoy Stone- Parker , Callie a, Christine Ar Executive Chef Jesse Robinson that’s pe perfect for abatzis, Jesse Robinson, Chad Beitler & Jesse designs a nightly special around celebrati celebrating the Rois the fresh fish. “Myy inspiration p day’s hap happiest in creating tthe fresh hour, 3-6 3-6pm, butter sauce with sun-dried tomato fish dishes ccome from m the where co cocktails mashed potato and sauteed vegetables. The environment around environme d me, the are $1 off, beers are $3-$4 and ta tapas are ahi melted in your mouth, and the sauce produce and the people fresh produ $2 off. The Mediterranean punch is made had a gorgeous glossy purple color. Every with,” says Robinson. I work wit with Southern Comfort, Disaronno, melon dish is served with their house-made pita Mediterranean flavors “The Med liqueur and fresh juices. The Paradise bread, and it goes with everything. you can eexpect are the Passion designed by bartender Chad Beitler The Mediterranean appetizer platter is freshness of the herbs and and Christine Arabatzis imparts a ginger a can’t-miss starter, full of fresh vegetable It’s a combination citrus. It passion fruit buzz with Canton Ginger tapas and dips. The spicy falafel is amazing; of light with rich flavors. liqueur and St. Germaine plus fresh passion some falafel can be dry, but these have an Greek food fo is some of the fruit juice. irresistible texture and flavor. The bruschetta, healthiest healthie food.” Pita Paradise Wailea is offering a buy hummus and tepanade with grilled pita make The evening I stopped one, get one half-off entree special on it a salad and appetizer all at once. There by, the fresh fish was Mondays; call and make a reservation are lots of tapas to enjoy: ziziki, tiropita, pan seared ahi with a se and mention the special. They’ll also be lamb pitza and calamari. calamar The Greek salad is burgundy burgundy red wine bu participating in restaurant week Wailea, reinvented with wit an amazing dressing. running November 7-13. And on the A new addition to second Fridays of each month starting at the menu are the pasta 6:30pm they’ll have a live belly dancing entrees, recipes sourced entr show, while on Sundays Benoit Jazzworks from John Jr.’s sicilian will perform at 5:30pm. ■ roots root traced through his mother and grandmother. mot Got a hot food scoop? Contact Jen Russo at The Bolognese is a rich 280-3386 or fax to 244-0446. pork and beef sauce stewed for hours. “I have stewe To share or save this article, type: watched my grandmother watch mt.hy.pr/1420d make traditional Italian cuisine since I can cuisin For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s remember,” says John Jr. remem food blog at: mauidish.com The chicken fettuccine, which has a light cream with mushrooms and sauce w chicken breast chunks, was To 97.3 K-Rock during the Johnny a table favorite; we had to A show at 5:20pm every Friday jan ken po for who got to for Jen Russo’s lineup of foodie Fresh Ahi KEba take hom home the leftovers. The events and tastings of the week. b tradition traditional Greek lamb is seen

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Full Plate

Foodies rejoice: November is stuffed to the g gills with amazing g events

N

ovember is a great month for foodies, not only because of the American feast we have coming up on the 25th, but also because of the amazing lineup of wine and food events this month. On Friday, November 5, Kalama Intermediate’s 8th grade Hawaiian Immersian class is selling Chop Steak plates for $7.50 at First Friday starting at 5:30 pm. The class is raising funds for a trip to Washington D.C. in the spring. Also this Friday, Sheraton Maui Resort and Spa is hosting its third annual Fall Festival of Wines starting at 7pm. Each guest will receive a souvenir wine glass and be entered to win prizes from around Maui. There will also be a silent auction, featuring items including two-night stays at the Sheraton Keauhou, Sheraton San Diego and Sheraton Maui Resort & Spa. Other auction items and door prizes include certificates to Tropica, Pulehu, Kobe Steakhouse, Old Lahaina Luau, Hard Rock CafÊ, UFO Parasailing, Ruth Chris Steakhouse, Cheeseburger in Paradise, Leilani’s, Maui Jim, The Spa at Black Rock, Flatbread Pizza Company and Outback Steakhouse. Some of the wines set to be poured include Ferrari Carans Chardonnay, Whitehaven Sauvingon Blanc, Yangara Shiraz Mclaren, Freemark Abby Viognier and Apothic Red Blend. This year Maui Brewing Company beer will also be featured as well as a select group of sakes. Libations will be augmented with tastings from the chef: a platter of salami, mortadella, prosciutto and cheese and fruit, edamame, spicy ahi poke, hummus, breads, chicken medallions, meatballs and more. Sheraton is also offering special room rates so you can make an evening of it and avoid hitting the road with a wine buzz. The Fall Festival of Wines raises ses

funds for the Maui Youth h and Family Services, which offers emergency shelters, outreach interventions, outpatient substance abusee treatment, therapeutic foster homes, drug prevention, pregnancy prevention and many otherr services. This is the third year that the Sheraton Maui Resort & Spa has hosted the Fall Festival of Wines, and the second time that the event has benefited Maui Youth and Family Services. Last year they L to R : Courtney Lan raised more than $2,000 dheer Paul Foertsch, Samantha Clavey, Christo,phe r Wittman for the cause. On Sunday November 7, Hawaii launches, running through ea kicks off restaurant week Wailea off. the 21st, with its first-time-ever Maui What this means for you is special pre fixe participation (restaurantweekhawaii.com). menu from $29 to $49 at almost all Wailea Melting Pot, Pineapple Grill Kapalua and restaurants. Check out the menus and Haliimaile General Store are just some of restaurants at wailearesortassociation.com. the participants, with funds going to the As if that wasn’t enough: on Friday Culinary Institute of the Pacific. November 12, Plantation House Dine Out for Hospice is going to be Executive Chef Alex Stanislaw is an amazing day on the 16th, where you hosting an unprecedented Landmark can choose from a great list of restaurants Vineyards wine dinner paired with bacon. throughout the island. Each one will be I will have to clone myself to also be at the donating a percentage of sales to Hospice Westin Kaanapali Ocean Resort Villas Maui. Get the full list at hospicemaui.org. the same evening for their Storybook Get your tickets now for the Fourth Mountain Winery dinner. Annual Wailea Food and Wine Also this month, Maui Prime Celebration. It’s a wine tasting launches its wine club; for $35 you get extravaganza held outdoors on the lawn at select labels of red and white wine, with Hotel Wailea on Friday November 19, with recipes, tasting points and special in-store Maui’s top chefs, wine makers and vintners, discounts. A perfect way to expand your fine art and live entertainment. Proceeds vino knowledge. Pick up your wine in the benefit the Hui No’eau Visual Arts Center. store on the 15th of every month. Also on On Saturday November 20, PaciďŹ c’o the 15t th, Restaurant Week 15th, hosting a screening of the movie is hostin Ingredients with director Robert Ing Bates Bat on hand. Reception starts at 6pm with wine and martinis, plus pupu and crud crudo stations. Part of the proceeds will fund a new movie, Ingredients Hawaii. Come C on, you’re not full yet. The wine dinner at Merriman’s on Sunday, Sund November 21 features a challenge betwe between sommeliers, Jason Castle and Jason Vendrell. And the Signorello viney vineyards dinner on Saturday, Novem November 27 will have Ray Signorello in atten attendance at David Paul’s Island Grill. W With all that, you may need to take Thanks Thanksgiving off. â– To sha share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1420d2 m t.hy

‘ingredients’

Wailea Food & Wine Celeb ration

For mor more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog blo at: mauidish.com

?E@?>

jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso on Twitter

FOOD & DRINK

BY JEN RUSSO

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FILM

jacob@mauitime.com + @jacobshafer on Twitter

God Sawful

Halloween is over. Unfortunately, the ‘Saw’ series isn’t Saw 3-D

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (zero stars) Rated R/90 min.

O

nce upon a time, Cary Elwes starred in a magical film called The Princess Bride, playing the dashing Westley, who wooed Princess Buttercup, embodied by Robin Wright, who went on to become one of our best American actresses. Elwes, on the other hand, starred in a terrible horror movie called Saw six years ago and is now making a return in Saw 3-D, which is actually the seventh film in the franchise. Unlike Elwes, former series regular and New Kids on the Block member Donnie Wahlberg somehow got away, though not before appearing in four of these movies. Life can be very cruel sometimes. Speaking of cruelty, Saw 3-D opens with a flashback to the first movie, showing a recently amputated Elwes crawling across a grimy floor, leaving a long trail of blood. His lack of a foot is his own doing, and we watch him literally seal the deal by mashing

16 NOVEMBER 4, 2010

his open wound into hot metal. Things go downhill from there. The razor-thin story centers on an author (Sean Patrick Flannery) who writes a book for survivors of the Jigsaw killer (Tobin Bell, the series mascot) and even holds group meetings. I like this idea very much: “Hi, My name is Barry and I spent twelve bucks to see Saw 3-D.” “Hi Barry.” Needless to say, Jigsaw isn’t amused and, even though he died four movies back, he puts the author through one torturous obstacle course after another. Flannery has hit a remarkable career milestone: between this and last year’s The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day, he has managed to appear in two of the worst sequels ever made. All of the torture scenes have a clock readout, letting you know how many seconds are left before the overly elaborate traps mutilate their victims. Having the seconds counting down only makes every minute feel longer, stretching out the 90-minute running time. The structure of the plot has the gory set pieces interspersed with an equally tortuous subplot of a police investigation. It’s like watching a disgusting slasher movie,

Talk about stage fright.

changing the channel to CSI: Miami, then constantly flipping back and forth. Jigsaw may be a demented, but he’s a lamb

compared to the real sickos: Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan, the screenwriters of this movie. They’re responsible for Saw entries IV-VII and repeat a hilariously idiotic moment from the previous movie: Saw VI openes with a woman chopping off her arm; cut to the opening titles, then to the victim in the hospital, where she proclaims “I cut off my arm!”, which the film flashes back to, in case you forgot. The same lady is back again and, sure enough, she says “I cut off my arm!” and guess what we flash back to? Contempt for the audience doesn’t begin to describe it. So what about the 3-D? I haven’t mentioned it for a reason—it stinks. Maybe even worse than the rest of this cynical abomination, if that’s possible. The poster declares this is the “final chapter,” but I’m not buying it. So let me make a humble proposal for Saw VIII: let Jigsaw punish Melton and Dunstan the way they punished me. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1420f

Showtimes

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

FRONT STREET THEATER

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL

900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees)

Castle Theater, MACC 572-3456

Life As We Know It - PG13 - THU (4:00), 6:45, 9:30. * Paranormal Activity 2 - R - THU (4:30), 7:15, 9:45. * Red - PG13 - THU (4:15), 7:00, 9:35. * The Social Network-PG13 - THU (3:45), 6:30, 9:15. * * No additional show times available at press time.

Playgravity - WED 6:00, 9:00. Who Is J.O.B. - WED 7:30.

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: everyday until 4pm) Case 39 - R - THU 7:05. Catfish - PG13 - THU 11:00, 1:15, 3:25, 5:35, 7:45, 9:55. Legend of the Guardians (2D) - PG - THU 12:00. FRI-WED 12:15, 2:30, 4:45, 7:00, 9:15. Legend of the Guardians (3D) - PG - THU 11:05, 1:20, 3:30, 5:45, 8:00. Life As We Know It - PG13 - THU 11:05, 12:05, 1:35, 2:30, 4:05, 5:00, 6:30, 7:30, 9:00, 10:00. FRI 11:35, 2:05, 4:35, 7:05, 9:40. SAT 2:05, 4:35, 7:05, 9:40. SUN-WED 11:35, 2:05, 4:35, 7:05, 9:40. Mao’s Last Dancer - Unrated - THU-WED 11:35, 2:05, 4:35, 7:05, 9:35. UH Football - @ Boise State - SAT 8:00am. You Again - PG - THU 2:15, 4:40.

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: everyday until 4pm) Due Date - R - FRI-SAT 11:20, 1:30, 3:40, 5:50, 8:00, 10:10. SUN 11:20, 1:30, 3:40, 5:50, 8:00. MON-WED 1:00, 3:10, 5:20, 7:30. Hereafter - PG13 - THU 1:00, 3:40, 6:20, 9:05. FRI-SAT 11:05, 1:45, 4:25, 7:05, 9:45. SUN 11:05, 1:45, 4:25, 7:05. MON-WED 1:45, 4:25, 7:05. Megamind (2D) - PG - FRI-SAT 11:00, 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40, 9:50. SUN 11:00, 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40. MON-WED 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40. Never Let Me Go - R - FRI-SAT 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7:10, 9:30. SUN 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7:10. MON-WED 1:05, 3:25, 5:45, 8:05. Red - PG13 - THU 1:10, 3:35, 6:00, 8:25. Secretariat - PG - THU 1:15, 3:50, 6:25, 9:00. The Social Network - PG13 - THU 1:05, 3:45, 6:15, 8:50.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees) Buried - R - THU-FRI (2:05, 4:25), 6:45, 9:05. SAT-SUN (2:05), 4:25, 6:45, 9:05. MON-WED (2:05, 4:25), 6:45, 9:05. Hereafter - PG13 - THU (1:30, 3:00, 4:30), 6:00, 7:30, 9:00. FRI (1:30, 4:30), 7:30. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:30, 7:30. MON-WED (1:30, 4:30), 7:30. Jackass 3D - R - THU (1:35, 2:35, 3:55, 4:55), 6:15, 7:15, 8:35, 9:35. FRI (1:35, 3:55), 6:15, 8:35. SAT-SUN (1:35), 3:55, 6:15, 8:35. MON-WED (1:35, 3:55), 6:15, 8:35. Paranormal Activity 2 - R - THU (2:45, 5:00), 7:15, 9:30. Paranormal Activity 2 (Sony Digital) - R - THU (1:50, 4:10), 6:30, 8:50. FRI (12:30, 2:45, 5:00), 7:15, 9:30. SAT-SUN (12:30, 2:45), 5:00, 7:15, 9:30. MON-WED (2:45, 5:00), 7:15, 9:30. Red - PG13 - THU-FRI (1:30, 4:10), 6:50, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:10, 6:50, 9:30. MON-WED (1:30, 4;10), 6:50, 9:30. Saw 3D - R - THU (2:20, 4:40), 7:00, 9:20. FRI (12:00, 2:20, 4:40), 7:00, 9:20. SAT-SUN (12:00, 2:20), 4:40, 7:00, 9:20. MON-WED (2:20, 4:40), 7:00, 9:20. Secretariat - PG - THU (2:50, 5:40), 8:30. FRI (12:00, 2:50, 5:40), 8:30. SAT-SUN (12:00, 2:50), 5:40, 8:30. MON-WED (2:50, 5:40), 8:30. The Social Network - PG13 - THU (3:00, 5:45), 8;30. FRI (12:15, 3:00, 5:45), 8:30. SAT-SUN (12:15, 3:00), 5:45, 8:30. MON-WED (3:00, 5:45), 8:30. The Town (Sony Digital) - R - THU (3:20), 6:10, 9:00. FRI-SUN (12:30, 3:20), 6:10, 9:00. MON-WED (3:20), 6:10, 9:00.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees) Hereafter - PG13 - THU (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 10:00. * Jackass 3D - R - THU (1:30 4;15), 7:15, 9:45. * Secretariat - PG - THU (1:00, 3:45), 6:45, 9:30. * * No additional show times available at press time.

New This Week DUE DATE - R - Comedy - Zach Galifianakis and Robery Downey Jr. go on a road trip. Can we come, too? 95 min. FOR COLORED GIRLS - R - Drama - The latest from hitmaker Tyler Perry stars Janet Jackson, Whoopi Goldberg and, thankfully, not Perry’s drag queen alter ego. 95 min. MEGAMIND - PG - Animated - A cerebral supervillain goes good after his rival retires. Will Ferrell and Brad Pitt lend their voices. 96 min. NEVER LET ME GO - R - Drama - Young love blossoms at an English boarding school, and then suddenly: clones. For real. Keira Knightley stars. 103 min. PLAYGRAVITY - NR - Documentary - Awardwinning doc about multiple sports that all share one thing: balls-to-the-wall defiance of the laws of physics. 52 min. UH FOOTBALL VS. BOISE STATE - The Warriors look to continue their roll against the high-ranked, WAC-defecting Broncos. See it on the big screen. WHO IS J.O.B.? - NR - Documentary - That would be surfer Jamie O’Brien. And this would be his movie. 52 min.

Due Date

NOW SHOWING BURIED - R - Thriller - Ryan Reynolds, a coffin, a lighter and a cell phone and that’s it. Seriously. 100 min. CASE 39 - R - Horror - A social worker investigating the case of a strange little girl discovers that “strange” doesn’t begin to describe it. 109 min. CATFISH - PG13 - Documentary? - A “reality thriller” about the odd twists that unfold after a guy and a girl hook up on Facebook. 94 min. HEREAFTER - PG13 - The latest from director Clint Eastwood features a tsunami destroying Front Street. And here we thought that was the Mayor’s job. 123 min. JACKASS 3D - R - Comedy - Because all those testicle-staplings and Porta-Potty catapults were so dull in two dimensions. 105 min. LEGEND OF THE GUARDIANS (3D) - PG Animated - A group of talking owls go on a quest to save their kingdom, presumably stopping along the way to regurgitate rodent skulls. 100 min. LIFE AS WE KNOW IT - PG13 - Romantic Comedy - Katherine Heigl is once again thrown unwittingly into parenthood (with some dude). How many times do we need to see this? At least twice, apparently. 115 min. MAO’S LAST DANCER - Unrated - A biopic based

on the life of ballet dancer Lee Cunxin. See this after Saw 3D to cleanse your conscience. In English and Mandarin. 117 min. PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2 - R - Things go bump in the night in this slick-but-less-scary follow-up to the low-budget smash. 91 min. RED - PG13 - Bruce Willis helms yet another old folks shoot-’em-up vehicle, with Helen Mirren and Morgan Freeman along for the ride. 111 min. SAW 3D - R - Horror - See this week’s Film Critique. 90 min. SECRETARIAT - PG - Drama - The life and glories of the famed racehorse are dramatized, with Celine Dion in the title role. 123 min. THE SOCIAL NETWORK - PG13 - Drama - Hey you know that little Web site called Facebook all the kids (and their parents, aunts and great-uncles) are talking about? Here’s the (alleged) story of how it was born. 133 min. THE TOWN - R - Drama - Ben Affleck directs and stars and somehow doesn’t wear out his welcome in this Boston-set cops and robbers tale. 123 min.

NOVEMBER 4, 2010 17

PICKS

This Week's Picks

WHERE TO GO AND WHAT TO DO

Funny Business

Eat and Run

Thursday (November 4), 7:30pm, Castle Theater, MACC, Kahului, $25/$45

Friday (November 5), 5-10pm, War Memorial soccer ďŹ elds, Kahului, admission: canned good donation

Though comedian Bret Ernst played collegiate football at Long Island University’s C.W. Post and looks like the love child of Joaquin Phoenix and Chris O’Donnell, it’s his brand of comedy—more than his pretty-jock looks—that got him cast as a recurring character on Showtime’s Weeds, earned him a 30 venues in 30 nights gig for the film Vince Vaughn’s Wild West Comedy Show and a job as host of Oxygen’s new show Love Games: Bad Girls Need Love Too. He’s been featured on BET’s One Mic Stand, Showtime’s Comics Without Borders and Comedy Central’s Premium Blend, plus had a slew of appearances from E!’s Chelsey Lately to CBS’s The Late Late Show. Thus, he’s been deemed laugh-outloud worthy enough for Sunset Strip marquee status, and slated as the second-ever headliner of the new series LOL@MACC. If you were thinking, “Bret Ernst? The video game psychopath from Dead Rising 2?� then you should definitely unplug tonight and get out to see Ernst (or, for that matter, our other This Week’s Picks; might I also suggest tomorrow’s Xbox tournament?). 242-7469, mauiarts.org, breternstlive.com

The fact that hunger still exists in this day and age—let alone on Maui—is like Blattaria B-52 cockroach sullying your cupcakes simply because no one got up to swat it away. But just because hunger exists doesn’t mean we have to swallow it. Let’s squash that bad bug by sharing our abundance with those in need. Local non-profit Feed My Sheep is giving you the opportunity to help out with just that, with their annual Stomp Out Hunger fundraising walk. The organization says they distribute more than 140,000 meals monthly to over 8,500 Mauians, from six locations across the island with an annual budget of just $250,000. Effective and efficient though they may be, they still need your help. Since this is the first year that the event is being opened to the public, event organizers have added fun activities like an Xbox video game tournament (and though the practice for said tourney was fueled by Doritos and Mountain Dew, let’s agree right now that is not, technically, food), bouncy castles and Zumba (for those of us who could do to lose a little of those lingering meals), plus a silent auction, entertainment and, of course, ono grinds. 877-5331, 872-9100, sohmaui.org

)URQW 6WUHHW ‡ ‡ KDUGURFN FRP

18 NOVEMBER 4, 2010

BY ANU YAGI anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

First Thing’s First

Wax On

Friday (November 5), 6-8pm, Market & Main Streets, Wailuku, free

Friday (November 5), 6-9pm, Diamond Head Gallery, Lahaina, free

Years ago, I heard Wailuku described as “a diamond in the rough,� and boy has the town’s signature monthly event exhumed that gem and put on the polish. But the thing I love most about Wailuku First Fridays is how it’s turned a clique into a community and has become a place for all Mauians to congregate. This month—first thing’s first—the beer garden is back! A group of hardworking gentlemen have been laboring rain or shine to transform the sandlot between the mauka-side shops and American Savings Bank into a sodded oasis. Even more bountiful than the brew is the entertainment. To name a few: Inna Vision (pictured) takes to the Maui Thing main stage; Ikaika Blackburn plays at the Banyan Tree Park (brought to you by the Pono... Do What Is Right! store, who’ll be celebrating their grand opening); Cocoland Band performs at the Main Street Promenade; and the Arts Education for Children Group and Lily & Toby play at Wailuku Coffee Company. Also that night, don’t miss Maui OnStage’s “Girls Downtown� event at the ‘Iao Theater (5:30-10:30pm; $12 donation). It’s a night of myriad ways to pamper yourself, including a dessert buffet, fashion vendors and $5 manicures, plus entertainment including a dance piece by Visions Conservatory and a screening of the musical Hairspray. Plus—because it pays to be first—be one of the first 100 patrons and get a coupon pack with deals from Maui Thing, Bohemia, If the Shoe Fits, Pink by Nature and more.

Remember back in 1997 when the Hawaiian Moving Company profiled The Crayon Artist, Jeffrey Robert? I do, because I was so inspired by Robert’s medium-defying use of Crayloa (his brand of choice) that during my ‘ohana’s next trip to Longs, I used my hard-earned macadamia nut-picking money (how else do sixth-graders earn cash?) to buy a brand new 24-count box. There’s something entirely exhilarating about a fresh box of crayons, each flat-topped cone tip still mold-perfect. Which reminds me of another piece of TV magic: Maybe being an ‘80s baby privy to the heyday of Sesame Street is the reason I agree with YouTube user mpizzle13, in that the keiki show’s “Making Crayons� video is “PERHAPS THE SINGLE BEST PIECE OF RECORDED MATERIAL IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND!!!!!!!!!!!� ILLUSTRATION BY JEFFREY ROBERT (Visit mauivents.com to watch.) Ah, nostalgia...but I digress. Whether your crayon adoration has already blossomed like the curls of wax from those metal-less sharpeners or if you’re simply in search of amazing art of any kind, head West to meet Robert—and watch him in action—at the Diamond Head Gallery this Friday night. He’ll also be showcasing signature works from his Blue Honu, Dynamic Surf Art and Whimsical Beachscapes collections. 661-8171, thecrayonartist.com

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

VOTED BEST HAPPY HOUR ON MAUI! 4 ,*)&* 3% t ". ". %"*-: t %*//&3 A5*- 1.

5)& 8& /08 $"33: 0 3 ' , 3 /)- /&580 4 )0$,&: '"/ $3 ALL DRINKS OSE 46/ 5)634 10PM - CL

FRIDAYS NOVEMBER 5

)& 5) "5 5 '3*%": /*()54 %+ &4 : 45 8 0. (3&&/ 30 VER AZE t 10PM NO CO DJ KAMIK

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 6

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SUNDAY NOVEMBER 7

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TUESDAYS

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Chi $2.50 Tacos - Steak, Pork, ri Tacos ama Cal & i Mah i $3.50 Mah $4 Margaritas $2.50 Coronas $2.50 Dos XX

“home of the $1 mai tai� Kihei’s BEST Sunset Cocktail Spot!

AUTHENTIC MEXICAN FOOD BURGERS SALADS Live Music Daily Sunset Happy Hour 3-7 Nightly Entertainment

RAMPAGE

THURSDAY 4 9pm KIHEI’S LEGENDARY ISLAND

REGGAE BAND

DAT GUYZ

FRIDAY 5 9pm

ORIGINAL AND ISLAND MUSIC FAVORITES

ROOTS JUDGEMENT

SATURDAY 6 9pm

GREAT UP AND COMING MAUI BAND SUNDAY 7 8pm

KARAOKE INDUSTRY NIGHT

MONDAY 8 HAPPY HOUR PRICES ALL DAY!! 8pm

KARAOKE

KARAOKE CONTEST

TUESDAY 9 9pm

VIVA LAS VEGAS PARTY! PRIZES!! $1 TACOS $3 CORONAS $3 CUERVO SHOTS

OPEN MIC WATCH OR BE A STAR!

WEDNESDAY 10 9pm

1913 S Kihei Rd 808.891.8010 ACROSS FROM FOODLAND

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA THE AWARDS

CASANOVA’S FAMOUS NIGHT t DJ STYLZ & DJ KAMIKAZE LADIESHAWAI IAN presen

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI� “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI�

Q103 & THE BIG MUSIC STARTS AT 10PM X $10 COVER

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 4

TH

RAP & HIP HOP CONTEST DJ MIR A’S BIRTHDAY BASH

SHOW STARTS AT 9:45PM $5 COVER

SHOW STARTS AT 9:45PM $10 COVER

5 FRIDAY, NOVEMBER FM PRESENT MANOA SHAKA SISTAH AND THE ISLAND THE BEAT OF THE ISLANDS “1810� TH

UA BRADSHAW - KAPALI KEAHI (LAHAINA GROWN) TRIBUTE TO GREGORY ISAACS HOWARD AHIA - JOHN BOY KAHAI’ALII X AN ISLAND SHOW STARTS AT 9:45PM TH $10 COVER

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 6

PIM ‘N HO YO! DON’T PUT THAT COSTUME AWAY YET... DJ STYLZ

SHAKA FEVA’S SATURDAY NIGHT PARTY

SUNDAY, NOV.7TH

AT 2PM X $7 DONATION

MANA’O RADI O PRES ENTS

UPCOUNTRY SUNDAY ACOUSTIC STYLE

THE HAIKU HILLBILLYS CYRUS CLARKE FAIR GAME

CALL 572-0220 X

MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING IN MAKAWAO TOWN. DINE AND DANCE AT CASANOVA. FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS

NOVEMBER 4, 2010 19

BY ANU YAGI

PICKS

anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

Da Kine Calendar BIG SHOWS LOL@MACC COMEDY NIGHT WITH BRET ERNST - Thu, Nov 4. The second installment of this new series. Ernst has had a TV specials on Comedy Central, BET and Showtime, headlines at top comedy clubs across the country. Sponsored by Maui Coast Hotel, MauiTime and KAOI Radio. See This Week’s Picks for more. $25 / $45 VIP. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org LOS ANGELES GUITAR QUARTET WITH GUEST ACTOR PHILIP PROCTOR - Fri, Nov 5. This Grammy award-winning Los Angeles Guitar Quartet comprised of John Dearman, Matthew Greif, William Kanengise and Scott Tennant, will take to the Castle Theater stage to share their syntheses of world and contemporary styles. Phil Proctor of Firesign Theatre Radio Hour will perform a dramatic adaptation of “Don Quixote,” accented with compositions by Narvaez, Encina, Pisador, Milan and Martin y Coll. $12 / $26 / $35. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org LED ZEPPLICA - Fri, Nov 5. One night only! This premiere Led Zeppelin replica band notably features Joe Retta and Lenny Mann, and is a must-see show for any fan. Maui’s own Mojomana opens. Tickets available at Stella Blues, Local Motion surf shops, or at groovetickets.com (21+ only). $15. 9 p.m. Stella Blues Cafe, 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei; 808-8743779 / 1.877.71.GROOV; stellablues.com THREE DOG NIGHT - Sat, Nov 6. Celebrate forty years of hits with Three Dog Night — who between 1969 and 1974 were record-holders for album and ticket sales, as well as Top 10 hits. Their music is so-woven into the fabric of our pop culture, you hear it everywhere from stage to screen and speaker. $45 / $55 / $65 /$85. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org

STAGE “THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ” - Every Sun, Fri & Sat A new twist on a beloved classic. Stars Tyler Charbonneau as Dorothy, Dale Button as the Scarecrow, Joseph Duncan as the Tin Man, Bill Schnitzer as the Cowardly Lion, Laurel Sherwood as Glinda the Good Witch, Kalani Whitford as The Wicked Witch of the West, and Joel Agnew as The Wizard. Written and produced by Doug Kendrick and Jonathan Lehman. Directed by Jonathan Lehman. Musical direction by Marti Kluth. Costume design by Kathleen Schulz. Scenic design by Caro Walker. Fridays, 7:30pm; Saturdays, 4pm & 7:30pm; Sundays, 1pm & 4pm). $15 Reserved / $10 Floor Seating (Keiki). Pro-Arts Playhouse, 1280 S. Kihei Rd, Kihei; 808-463-6520; proartspacific.com “THE DROWSY CHAPERONE” - Every Sun, Fri & Sat through Sun, Nov 21 — opening this Friday. A new musical — masquerading as a 1920s musical — by Martin, McKellar, Lambert & Morrison. The madcap romp begins when a die-hard musical-theater fan invites the audience to listen to his favorite ‘20s musical, but when he puts the record on his turntable, the show tunes characters come to life in his living room. Starring two dozen Seabury students including Sydney Roberts, Clyde Engle and Ryan Glavor. Directed/ choreographed by David Ward. Musical direction by Stephen Haines. Costume design by André Morissette and Vanessa Cerrito. Fridays & Saturdays, 7pm. Sundays, 3pm. $13 Adults / $11 Seniors / $7 Students. Seabury Hall Erdman Athletic Center, 480 Olinda Rd., Makawao; 808-573-1257 GIRLS DOWNTOWN - Fri, Nov 5. Another great way to enjoy Wailuku First Friday activities. Maui OnStage hosts a special “Girls Downtown” evening of fashion, food, and film. Features a dessert buffet,

20 NOVEMBER 4, 2010

fashion vendors (like BoxEleven’s handmade apparel by Katie Browne and original jewelry by artist Jaisy Hanlon), and $5 color-change manicures. Guest speakers include Lehua Simon, director of forthcoming “A Christmas Carol,” and Cassandra Wormser, director “the Taming of the Shrew,” as well as an original dance piece by Visions Conservatory. Be sure you’re one of the first 100 attendees, and receive a coupon pack to Maui Thing, Bohemia, If the Show Fits, Pink by Nature and two-for-one tickets to “A Christmas Carol.” Screening of the musical “Hairspray” to follow. Hosted by Terez Amato. 5:30-10:30 p.m. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku; 808-242-6969; mauionstage.com BACH FOR COFFEE - Sat, Nov 6. Timothy Wolfe performs as Johann Sebastian Bach, with Paul JanesBrown as George Phillip Telemann in a musical comedy infused with history about the both composers’ works (cantatas will be sung in English to enhance audience appreciation). The program includes Bach’s “Coffee Cantata” and Telemann’s “Dead Canary Cantata,” featuring soloists Lauren Pomerantz, Cameron Keys and Lisa Paulsen, with the Maui Madrigale and musicians of Early Music Maui. $20 / $15 seniors / Free for students 18 years & younger. 7 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org THE COMEDY HUI CELEBRATES 1 YEAR OF LAUGHS - Sun, Nov 7. This local improvisational troupe celebrates their 1-year anniversary in November with a guest appearance by poetry slam champion Lava, and with special kama’aina rates (also, note the day/time change). Produced and directed by Amanda Taulere. Starring Rachel Deboer, Curtis “Chino” LaForge, Karen Stavash, John Ziegler, Alexis Ziegler and Justin Banek. Music direction by keyboardist Francois Kie, accompanied by drummer John McMullen. $27 / $12 kama’aina /. 6:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; comedyhui.com / mauiarts.org MAPA PRESENTS: “THE MAGIC OF FRIENDSHIP” - Wed, Nov 10. Audiences of all ages can enjoy this musical about a young wannabe-wizard who discovers the value of friendship. Presented by the Maui Academy of Performing Arts. Free. 2 p.m. Wailuku Public Library, 251 S. High St., Wailuku; 808-2435766; librarieshawaii.org CIRQUE POLYNESIA - Mon-Sat. It’s Circue du Soleil meets Polynesian hula with amazing high-wire acts, aerial acrobatics and illusions, and mind-boggling contortionist and balancing-acts. Call for their Kama’aina special. Starting at $62; Deals for kids. 6 p.m. Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa, 200 Nohea Kai Dr., Kaanapali; 808-667-4540; maui.hyatt.com

FOODIE HEALTHY KEIKI - Thu, Nov 4. a special class focused on healthy recipes perfect for school lunches, with hands-on demonstrations, food identification and a tour of the store’s Produce department. Kids between the ages of 5-12 welcome. To RSVP call 872-3310 or email us at mmm-marketing@wholefoods.com. 6 p.m. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B,, Kahului; 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui 3RD ANNUAL FALL FESTIVAL OF WINES - Fri, Nov 5. A benefit for Maui Youth and Family Services that features a variety of red and white wine tasting stations with elegant hors d’oeuvres, great silent auction and live music. All of the wines and foods were donated from local vendors including Better Brands, Southern Wines and Spirits, and Maui Brewing Company. $40. 7-9 p.m. Sheraton Maui Resort and Spa, 2605 Kaanapali Pkwy., Lahaina; 808-661-0031; sheraton-maui.com/dining/fallwines

LOCAL FUN ON ALOHA FRIDAY - Fri, Nov 5. Celebrate seasonal produce grown locally! This demonstration will feature the best, juiciest, local produce in the store! Health Starts Here recipes and samples will be available to customers. Vegetarian and vegan friendly recipes will also be available. 4 p.m. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B,, Kahului; 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui KEIKI IN THE KITCHEN AT WHOLE FOODS - Sat, Nov 6. The popularity of the culinary arts is not just limited to grownups. Classes are perfect for children 5 to 12 years old. Class includes demonstrations on hands-on easy meal preparations that the entire family can enjoy. Free. 11 a.m. Whole Foods Market, 70 Kaahumanu Ave #B,, Kahului; 808-8723310; wholefoodsmarket.com/stores/maui/ RESTAURANT WEEK WAILEA - Special Pre-Fixe menus from participating Wailea restaurants from $29 to $49 per person. $1 from every dinner goes to Maui Food Bank. advance reservations are recommended. For complete list of menus go to website. Various Wailea Restaurants; wailearesortassociation.com

TICKETS ON SALE HIROSHIMA - Fri, Nov 12. A special concert with this Grammy nominated group, along with special guest Michael Paulo. $25 / $55. 7-10 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808242-7469; mauiarts.org MICHAEL BLACK AND JON SANDERS DINNER SHOW - Fri, Nov 12. Sanders has been dubbed “the Bard of Bouzouki and the Duke of Uke,” and of Black’s latest album, Irish Times says, “there’s enough pristine music tucked inside this solo collection to power a rocket.” Presented by Maui Celtic. Enjoy the show with a three-course dinner. Call for tickets. 7 p.m. Mulligan’s on the Blue, 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea; 808-874-1131; mulligansontheblue.com / jon-sanders.com / michaelblack.info SOLO SESSIONS WITH ROBERT CAZIMERO - Fri, Nov 12. This intimate series continues with Robert Cazimero. Join this award-winning musician, kumu hula of Halau Na Kamalei and one-half of The Brothers Cazimero (with brother Roland), as he shares his songs and stories in an evening not to be missed. $25 / $45 VIP. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org “LIVE UNITED” GALA UNDER THE STARS - Sat, Nov 13. An elegant benefit for Maui United Way’s 27 partner agencies/programs, presented in part by the Grand Wailea and KPOA 93.5 FM. Featuring a special performance by Raiatea Helm and emceed by the “Morning Goddess” herself, Alaka’i Paleka. Various sponsorship, advertising and auction donation opportunities available. Grand Wailea Resort & Spa, 3850 Wailea Alanui Dr., Wailea; 808-244-8787; mauiunitedway.org RHYTHMIC REVOLUTION - Sat, Nov 13. To live music, Rhythmic Revolution ignites the stage with a vibrant blend of tap, flamenco, African and Cuban rhythms featuring artists from Africa to Spain, including Broadway star, Mark Mendonca, co-director Jason Samuels Smith, and Japan’s Yukiko Misumi. Arranged by Chloe Arnold. $12 / $22 / $32. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org PETER FRAMPTON - Wed, Nov 17. You ought to know his not-so-humble (pie) history, so I’ll simply tell you that his latest is called “Thank you Mr. Churchill,” so-titled as nod to his father’s safe return from World War II. $45 / $55 / $65 / $85. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org EBB & FLOW ARTS ENSEMBLE - Thu, Nov 18. A contemporary music, art and multi-media events

TheGRID

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FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

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11/05

11/06

11/07

11/08 - 11/10

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ALE HOUSE

Ladies Night w/ DJ Jamn J 9pm

Bottoms Up with DJ Jay J 9pm

Saturday Nite Live w/ Native 92.5, 10pm

S.I.N Sunday w/ DJ Jamn J 10pm

MON - Open Mic Band Auditions 8pm / TUE Native’s Night 9pm / WED - Wild Wednesday, 9pm

AMBROSIA

Old School Thursdaze w/ DJ Del Sol

Special Guest DJ

Sunrise Saturdaze w/ DJ Decka

Sunday Night Fever w/ DJ CIA

MON – Estee & Toby, 10pm; TUE – Same / WED – Swingers Screening & HI-5 Night w/ DJs Del Sol & CIA

Gina Martinelli

DJ Jay

DJ Jay

Live Music

Live Music

1810” w/ Kanoa of Gomega, 10pm; $10

Pimp ‘n Ho Theme Party w/ DJ Stylz, 10pm

Upcountry Sundays w/ The Haiku Hillbillys, 2pm; $7

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesdays w/ DJ Kamikaze, 10pm; $10

Barefoot Minded 7 - 10pm; No Cover

Dave Caroll 7 - 10pm; No Cover

Dave Caroll 7 - 10pm; No Cover

Erin Smith 7 - 10pm; No Cover

MON - Peter D / TUE - Live Jazz / WED - Ryan Palma (All sets 7 - 10pm; No Cover)

House Music 10pm; No Cover

Live Music

Live Music

Live Music

MON - Gomega / TUE - Open Mic Night / WED House Mic Night (All 10pm; No Cover)

Quiz Night, 8pm; No Cover

Jarod 10pm; No Cover

Live Music

Live Music

MON – Live Music / TUE – Live Music / WED – Jessica & Friend (All 10pm; No Cover)

Karaoke

Kekona ‘Ohana

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON, TUE & WED - Karaoke

Rampage 9pm-Close

Dat Guyz 9pm - Close

Roots Judgement 9pm-1:30am

Karaoke

MON - Karaoke / TUE - Karaoke Contest / WED - Open Mic Night

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

BOCALINO BISTRO & BAR 1445 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-4041

CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY REST. 500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului - 873-6555

CASANOVA

Rap Battle - DJ Kyra Birthday Bash, 10pm; $5

CHARLEY’S

Wavetrain 10pm - Close ; $5

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE

Wharf Cinema, Lahaina - 667-0908

DIAMONDS ICE BAR

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

Sonido Inspiracion 9:30pm; $7

HARD ROCK CAFE

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

designed to break barriers between the arts and bridge artistic expressions across cultures. Featured performers include Ignace Jang on violin, Scott Anderson on clarinet, and Robert Pollock. Cellist Joanna Morrison and soprano Rachel Schutz will make special guest appearances. At 4pm, a pre-concert discussion will take place. $25. 5 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org SLACK KEY MASTERS W/ GEORGE KAHUMOKU & BROTHER NOLAND - Thu, Nov 18. Uncle George’s show returns to Central Maui, bringing with him Brother Noland. Don’t ‘say goodbye to your coconut girl’ — bring her with you. $25 / $45 VIP. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org 4TH ANNUAL WAILEA FOOD & WINE CELEBRATION - Fri, Nov 19. A benefit for Hui No’eau’s community arts education. Featuring Maui’s top chefs and vintners — with wines provided by Chambers & Chambers Wine Merchants — a fine art sale, live entertainment, and the joyful company of artists, educators and supporters. $125 ($75 tax-deductible). 5:30-8:30 p.m. Hotel Wailea, 555 Kaukahi St., Wailea; 808-874-0500; hotelwailea.com JOHN MAYALL - Sat, Nov 20. Heralded as the Godfather of British Blues. Mayall’s newest powerhouse band features Texas guitarist Rocky Athas, plus Greg Razb on bass, Jay Davenport on drums, and Tom Canning, on keys. Shemekia Copeland, daughter of the late blues legend Johnny Clyde Copeland, will open. $45 / $50 / $55. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org MAUI MASSIVE: SUBLIME WITH ROME - Sun, Nov 21. An all ages show! Tickets available through the MACC or at Green Banana Internet Cafe, Old Lahaina Book Emporium and (our friends at Maui’s only record store) Requests. $39 General Admission. 4:30 p.m. Events Lawn, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808242-7469; mauiarts.org / sublimewithrome.com 10TH ANNUAL E HO’OULU ALOHA (TO GROW IN LOVE) BENEFIT CONCERT - Sat, Nov 27. A celebration of Hawaiian arts, culture, food and entertainment, benefiting the Maui Historical Society. Uluwehi Guerrero volunteers his talent each year, and this year will also include Richard Ho’opi’i and Lei’ohu Ryder, plus Halau Hula Kauluokala and Na Leo Lani

TUE – Curtis Williams / WED - Latino, Blues & Jazz Night w/ Lydia Toccafondy & Neto Peraza

Karaoke

Karaoke

O Maui community choir, directed by Gale Wisehart. Emceed by Braddah Poki of Pacific Radio Group. Silent auction. Food and craft vendors. Master lei makers and lau hala weavers. Hawaiian quilting, kapa making, poi pounding and more. $10 advance / $15 door / Free keiki 12 and under. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Bailey House Museum & Yokoouchi Estate, 2375-A Main St., Wailuku; 808-244-3326; mauimuseum.org GABRIEL IGLESIAS:THE FLUFFY SHOP TOUR - Sat, Nov 27. Known as the “fluffy” comic always ensconced in an aloha shirt, this 32-year old funny man loves to riff about the his girth of his midsection. Whether he’s talking about how the most minute dance moves have him working up a sweat at nightclubs, or how hearing his girlfriend whisper the sweet nothings of “chocolate cake” over the phone is tantamount to phone sex, Iglesias is sure to make you, well, bust a gut. $40. 7 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org

Karaoke show, and the costume addition that ignites within her an epiphany about culture and identity. $10. 3 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org

ANNOUNCEMENTS QKC’S HALLOWEEN PHOTO CONTEST - The autumn season with its costumed celebrations provides photo fodder unlike any other. But who knew it could be so lucrative, too? Log onto QKC’s Facebook page at facebook.com/queenkaahumanucenter to enter their photo contest (click on the Contest Tab for instructions), for a chance to win $100. Deadline November 4. Free. Queen Kaahumanu Shopping Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-8773369; queenkaahumanucenter.com

SOME HERE. ALL ONLINE.

GENERATIONS: THE FARDEN FAMILY IN HULA AND MUSIC - Sat, Nov 27. Kumu hula Emma Farden Sharpe and composer Irmgard Farden Aluli’s legacy continues through their talented family — all prominent figures in Maui’s music scene. Holoau Ralar and Hailama Farden gather their talented ‘ohana — and extended ‘ohana — for this special presentation of dance and song. $25 Adults / $12.50 Keiki 12 & Under. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului; 808242-7469; mauiarts.org

20TH KEIKI HULA COMPETITION - Mark your calendars for Nov 12 - 14. Open to hula students from around the world, keiki ages 5- 17 may enter as soloists and/or as boy & girl pairs. In addition to performances in kahiko (ancient) and ‘auana (modern) styles of hula, competition includes an interview with judges, with entrants judged on their proficiency with Hawaiian language as well as the appropriateness of their attire. Ka’anapali Beach Hotel, 2525 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Ka’anapali; 808-6670101; kbhmaui.com

CALENDAR LISTINGS

ON MAUITIME.COM

SCREENNING: “KEAO” AND “STONES” - Sun, Nov 28. Ooh... I saw “Stones” by Ty Sanga at the Hana Film Festival. It’s rivetingly melancholy. And, it stars Maui boy Moses Goods III (who first rocked my world when I saw him perform — all by himself, mind you — all nine characters in “The Legend of Kaulula’au,” written by Keali’iwahine Hokoana). “Keao” by the lovely Emily Spenser follows the story of a young Hawaiian dancer as she prepares for work at a lu’au

HALEAKALA NATIONAL PARK SERVICE TRIP Sign up now for the FHNP’s upcoming service trip to care for native vegetation, running Nov 13-15. You’ll get to stay free at the Holua Cabin, plus hike and relax in our unique NP wilderness. E-mail or go online for more information or to register. However, hurry — space is limited. Free. Friends of Haleakala National Park, P.O. Box 322, Makawao; 808-878-8015; fhnp@earthlink.net/ sageblank@aol.com; fhnp.org HOLIDAY FOOD DRIVE - Second Wind Sail & Surf in Kahului is hosting a month-long drive for the Maui

WED - Karaoke Food Bank. Donations will be accepted until Nov 27 — with the bonus being that one lucky donor will receive a 10’0 Elua Makani Stand Up Paddleboard valued at over $1,000. You get one entry into the drawing for ever two canned good items donated. The drawing will be held at 4pm on the final day of collecting. Second Wind Sail, Surf & Kite, 111 Hana Highway, Kahului; 808-877-7467; info@secondwindmaui.com; secondwindmaui.com

EVENTS THURSDAY, NOV 04 SCREENING: “WHALE RIDER” - Many of you may remember this beautiful film from it’s debut at the Maui Film Festival a few years ago. Directed by Niki Caro, it’s a contemporary story which follows the attempt of a young girl to become a “whale rider,” a tribal distinction traditionally reserved for males only, in Maori culture. Also there will be light refreshments provided by Whole Foods Market. 6 p.m. Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary Education Center, 726 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; Bo Petty: 808-8792818 ext. 22.; hawaiihumpbackwhale.noaa.gov

FRIDAY, NOV 05 STOMP OUT HUNGER - Feed My Sheep’s annual fundraising event, with proceeds benefiting their programs to feed homeless on Maui. Food booths, live entertainment, kiddie bounce castles and silent auction. See This Week’s Picks for more. Admission is a canned good donation. 5-10 p.m. War Memorial Stadium Soccer Fields, 211 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului; 808-872-9100; feedmysheepmaui.com KARAOKE BY ELEINA - Sing a tune between shopping. Free. 6 p.m. Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-871-1307; mauimall.com MEET THE CRAYON ARTIST (R) JEFFREY ROBERT - This is your chance to meet the man who is ultra talented with an ultra unusual medium, and has been featured on shows like The Hawaiian Moving Co. and Good Morning America. See This Week’s Picks for more. Free. 6-9 p.m. Diamond Head Gallery, 736-A Front St., Lahaina; 808-661-8171; thecrayonartist.com OPENING RECEPTION & AWARDS CEREMONY: 4TH ANNUAL PHOTO MAUI CONTEST - This exhibition has been judged by two renowned local photographic artists, Randy Hufford and Michael Stark.

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22 NOVEMBER 4, 2010

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

11/04

11/05

11/06

11/07

11/08 - 11/10

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

JAVA JAZZ

Ashley Welte 7pm - Close; No Cover

Guest Performer 7pm - Close; No Cover

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - Close; No Cover

Brian Cuomo 7pm - Close; No Cover

MON - Ashley Welte / TUE & WED - Rene Alonzo (All 7pm - Close; No Cover)

KAHALE’S

Vince Esquire

Kenny Roberts

Eight Track Players

Kahala

MON, TUE & WED - Da-Ha-Y-Ns

1810

deAquino Bruddahs feat. Nester

Ben & Glenn

Willie K / Sam Ahia

Bad Kitty 8-11pm

Billy & The Bad Dogs 8-11pm

Danyl Alana Trio 8-11pm

Gina Martinelli Band

WED - Bobby Ingram & The Maui Blues Band

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Aunty Toddy Lilikoi

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Aunty Toddy Lilikoi

LONGHI’S LAHAINA

Crazy Fingers 9pm - 1am; No Cover

LULU’S KIHEI

Louise Lambert Band / Free Karaoke, 10pm

Alternative Night w/ DJ Raph, 10pm - 2am

Karaoke 7:30 - 11pm; No Cover

WED - Karaoke 7:30 - 11 pm; No Cover

The Holiday Jumpoff feat. Dezman, Gomega, Malino

X-clusive Saturday Nights w/ All Access’s DJ Money Mike

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. 667-0787

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei 875-7711

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KIWI ROADHOUSE

95 E. Lipoa St., Ste A101, Kihei - 874-1250

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

LULU’S LAHAINA

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

Kanikapila w/ Liko Martin 8-10pm; No Cover

MON - Service Industry Night w/ All Access DJ & Junior TUE - Karaoke w/ Troy / WED - Sizzling Salsa Nights

MAUI BREWING CO.

WED - Open Mic Night, 10pm; No Cover

Kahana Gateway Center - 669-3474

MOANA CAFE

71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St. Kihei - 874-1131

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-2414

Awards will be given in both amateur and professional divisions, and in three categories: color, monochrome, and digitally enhanced. The works shown during the show are available for sale, with proceeds benefitting the Lahaina Arts Association’s keiki art programs. 6-8 p.m. Lahaina Arts Society Courthouse Gallery, 648 Wharf Street, Lahaina; Stephen Levine: 808-572-5725; lahaina-arts.com WAILUKU FIRST FRIDAY - It’s a block party! Experience the exciting street festivities and a oneof-a-kind blend of old and new in Wailuku. Groove to bands while you shop, dine and play at this most memorable evening. See This Week’s Picks for more. Free. 5:30-8 p.m. Wailuku Town, North Market Street, Wailuku;

SATURDAY, NOV 06 BOOK SIGNING WITH LOCAL AUTHOR HOLLY BRAFFET - “Maile and the Huli Hula Chicken” and “Kekoa and Eggy Mystery” are the newest keiki lit offerings from local author Holly Braffet. Two book signings will be held, the first at 12pm at Queen Kaahumanu Center’s Borders Express, and the second at 2pm at Maui Marketplace’s Borders. Free. Borders Express / Borders Books & Music, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave. / Maui Marketplace, 270 Dairy Rd., Kahului; 808-8716112 / 808-877-6160; borders.com HELP YOUR KEIKI THRIVE WITH NEURODEVELOPMENTAL MOVEMENT - Through Nov 7. Parents, educators, PTs, OTs and other specialists are invited to learn how little ones getting as little as 10 minutes of movement a day can be the magic ingredient for a happy, healthy child — and is especially effective for kids with ADHD, dyslexia or sensory issues — promoting development and brain connectivity. Call for more information or to register. . Physical Therapy and Wellness Center of Maui, 53 Puunene Ave., Suite 104, Kahului; 360-732-4356; moveplaythrive.com HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HELLO KITTY! - Well, to be correct, it’s “happy birthday, QKC’s Sanrio.” The store celebrates their second anniversary and invites you to join in on the fun. As is customary for their events, a certain fuzzy friend will likely make an appearance to say “hello.”. Free. 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Queen Kaahumanu Shopping Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-877-3369; queenkaahumanucenter.com KEIKI FACE PAINTING - Continues on Sun, Nov 7. Are your kids still buzzing off the excitement of dressing up for Halloween? Keep it going this week by heading out West. The Lahaina Arts Association

Phil & Angie Benoit

DJ Music

Willie K Band

Ka’ena Elaban 9pm-12am

Friday Night at the Green Room w/ DJ Stylz & DJ Kamikaze

Pac Vibes and DJ Kamikaze

Jazz on the Blue / Jordan and Wolf

TUE - Open Mic Night The Celtic Tigers / Live Band

will host free face painting and hands-on art for keiki, during their art fairs. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Banyan Tree, Front St., Lahaina

cable to both eating-in and taking-out. 5-10 p.m. Flatbread Co., 89 Hana Hwy., Paia; Kalima: 808-244-5502 / Flatbread: 808-579-8989; flatbreadcompany.com

SPECIAL MOMENTS - Aren’t all moments special? Well these moments are special-er. Free. 1 p.m. Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808871-1307; mauimall.com

WEDNESDAY, NOV 10

HOLOKAI CLUB WITH MAUI MUSIC CONSERVATORY - Sponsored by KISS 99.9 FM, this monthly keiki event features arts & crafts, performances, educational materials, activities and other fun stuff. Free. 10 a.m.-12 p.m. Queen Kaahumanu Shopping Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-8774325; queenkaahumanucenter.com

SUNDAY, NOV 07 PASSPORT TO GOOD HEALTH FAMILY FUN DAY - Who says going to the doctors’ office can’t be full of family fun? It can be — especially today, and especially with the fine folks at Kaiser. Keiki to kupuna can enjoy interactive game and activities with fun giveaways (even a neighbor island trip), plus ono grinds and entertainment by the one and only Na Leo. 12-4 p.m. Kaiser Permanente Wailuku Clinic, 80 Mahalani St., Wailuku; 1-800966-5955; kp.org

THE WAY OF THE SHAMAN - Principals spiritual healing by way of shamanistic perspectives will be discussed in this by-donation introduction to their two-day workshop. Deep relaxation to rhythmic drumming plus a Q&A session. Donations. 6-7:30 p.m. Makawao Union Church, 1445 Baldwin Ave., Makawao; 808-269-5137; shamanism.org

ART SOLO EXHIBITION: ELI BAXTER AND JAISY HANLON - Mon-Sat through Nov 12. Hanlon’s work explores a nature slightly mediated by fantasy, with creatures in environments that reference reality only in their singular parts. Baxter’s installation is highly suggestive of organic foliage, yet has a very industrial, fetishistic quality. Sure to intrigue and inspire. Free. 10 a.m.4 p.m. Hui No’eau Visual Arts Center, 2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao; 808-5726560; huinoeau.com

SUBMIT YOUR

LISTINGS ONLINE

CALENDAR LISTINGS MAUITIME.COM/LISTING

MAUI ACADEMY OF PERFORMING ARTS - Everyone loves MAPA. Check ‘em out and be both impressed and inspired. Free. 1 p.m. Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 808-871-1307; mauimall.com SENIOR SUNDAY IN IAO - Maui residents ages 60 and better can enjoy the beautiful Hawai`i Nature Center for free once a month. Regular fare is $6 for adults, $4 for keiki. Free for Seniors. Hawai’i Nature Center, 808-244-6500; hawaiinaturecenter.org

TUESDAY, NOV 09 PIZZA PARTY BENEFIT FOR KA LIMO O MAUI’S HUI CLUB - Support adults with disabilities by doing something you love to do anyway — eat pizza (at Flatbread, no less). The company is donating a portion of the night’s proceeds to this worthy Maui group, appli-

MEET THE ARTIST: CHRISTINE HALTON - Fridays, Nov 5 through 21. Halton’s eclectic style is based on a combination of fine-line wood burning and the rich pigments of oil paints. Meet the artist and learn more about her inspiration. Free. 4-7:30 p.m. Maui Hands, Lahaina, 612 Front St., Ste. D, Lahaina; 808-667-9898; mauihands.com HO‘OULU: THE INSPIRATION OF HULA - Daily (except Mon & Tue), Nov 10 through Dec 23. A collaboration between the MACC and Hawai‘i State Art Museum, this showcase features hula-inspired and hula-related works from the Art in Public Places Collection. Among what’s included in the exhibit are portraits of loea hula (hula resources) by Photographer Shuzo Uemoto as well as paintings of renowned na kumu hula who have received the Order of Distinction for Cultural Leadership from the State of Hawai‘i. Free. 11 a.m.-5 p.m.

TUE - Murray Thorne; Tin Can Comedy w/ Shaggy Jenkins / WED - Willie K; Erin Smith’s Super Fantastic Ladies Night

Schaefer International Gallery, MACC, 1 Cameron Wy., Kahului; 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org “HERE, THERE AND BEYOND” A MULTIMEDIA SHOW - Daily through Dec 7. Featuring Betty Hay Freeland, Dewitt Jones and Joelle C. Perz. If these artists’ names are name not yet familiar to you — or aren’t already in your collection — discover what you’ve been missing. 5 p.m. Viewpoints Gallery, 3620 Baldwin Ave., Makawao; 808-572-5979; viewpointsgallerymaui.com FEATURED ARTIST COLE WARREN - Daily. Warren is an accomplished woodworker who crafts bowls, boxes, cutting boards and has a created a complete line of functional desk accessories. Perhaps most intriguing is his use of protea pods in his work. Discover his skill and collect a piece for yourself. No Cover. 6:30-9 p.m. Maui Crafts Guild, 69 Hana Hwy., Paia; 808-579-9697; mauicrafts.com NEW EXHIBITION: REBECCA BRAMON - Daily through Dec 31. The ninth exhibit since the cafe opened its doors two years ago; fiery and colorful, contrasting well against the cafe’s green walls. Of her work, Bramon says, “I try to express the wonder that I find in nature.. the majesty of our great volcano and (what) Pele evokes.”. 6 a.m.-8 p.m. Green Banana Cafe, 137 Hana Hwy., Paia; 808-579-9130 FAR ART - Daily through December 31. Featuring works by eleven artists who led Maui’s counterculture of the late sixties and early seventies. From Rainbow Bridge to Rainbow Sun, they exchanged the consciousness of art for the art of consciousness. Puka Puka, 43 Hana Hwy., Pa’ia; 808-579-3080 GROUP PHOTOGRAPHY EXHIBIT: “LAST NIGHT’S PARTY” - Daily through January 2. What happens during Maui’s late night hours? Find out at Tiki Lounge’s latest showcase “Last Night’s Party.” From artsy underground happenings, to private parties, to the biggest rock shows, this group photography exhibit — featuring Sean Michael Hower, Jessica Pearl, Brendan Smith, Jack Grace and Justin Orr — will remind you what’s so great about seeing and being seen throughout our little rock’s big scene. South Shore Tiki Lounge, Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei; 808-874-6444; southshoretikilounge.com ARTIST AT THE EASEL - Daily (except Sun & Tue). Currently featuring Belinda Leigh (Mondays). Daryl Millard, winner of the 2011 Lahaina Action Town Committee annual art contest (Wednesdays & Saturdays). Davo, local pop artist (Thursdays &

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TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

11/04

11/05

11/06

11/07

11/08 - 11/10

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

PINEAPPLE GRILLE

200 Kapalua Drv. Lahaina - 669-9600

Jawaiian Music w/ DJ Bruddah Damien

RB BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE

Smooth Jazz Sounds w/ Brian Cuomo & Friends, 7pm -10m Evan Almighty

4465 Honoapiilani Hwy, Lahaina - 669-8889

TUE - TBA / WED - Evan Almighty

SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke No Cover, 10pm - 1am

Free Karaoke No Cover, 10pm - 1am

Open Mic Night 10 pm

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke No Cover, 10pm-1am

Free Karaoke No Cover, 10pm - 1am

Free Karaoke No Cover, 10pm-1am

DJ Slackin 10pm - Close; No Cover

DJ Sonny 10pm - Close; No Cover

DJ LX 10pm - Close; No Cover

Roots Judgement 9pm - 12am; No Cover

Vince Esquire 9pm - 12am; No Cover

Led Zepplica

Erin Smith

Seismic Chops 9pm-1am; $3

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; No Cover

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 -879-0004

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

STELLA BLUE’S

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

Ah-Tim

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

WATERCRESS

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9350

WOW-WEE MAUI’S

333 Dairy Rd. #101, Kahului - 871-1414

Fridays). Free. 5-9 p.m. Gallerie 505, 505 Front St., Lahaina; 808-661-3537; gallerie505.com MEET THE ARTISTS - Daily. The Four Seasons’ resident artist will be on hand to discuss his or her work. Free. 8 a.m.-1:30 p.m. Four Seasons Resort, 3900 Wailea Alanui Dr., Wailea; 808-874-8000; fourseasons.com/maui LEI DEMONSTRATIONS & CLASSES - Every Tue & Fri. Artisan lei demonstrations and hands-on flower lei-making classes, at Center Stage. Free. 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Whalers Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Ka’anapali; 808-661-4567; whalersvillage.com

COMMUNITY WHALERS MUSEUM - Daily. Telling the story off the heyday of whaling in Lahaina (1825-1860) from the perspective off the seafarers themselves. Selfguided audio tours, daily films, scale models, artifacts, photo murals, graphic interpretations, whale ivory objects, and scrimshaw. Free. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Whalers Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Ka’anapali; 808-661-4567; whalersvillage.com BAILEY HOUSE MUSEUM - Mondays - Saturdays. Enjoy the beautiful grounds of the Bailey House (built in 1833) while learning about the history of Hawaii. $7 Adult / $5 Senior / $2 Keiki. Maui Historical Society, 2375-A Main St., Wailuku; 808-244-3326; mauimuseum.org WO HING MUSEUM AFTER DARK - Fridays. Let the lights from the Wo Hing Museum draw you in for its special Friday hours of 1 to 8pm. With its usual day time hours 10am to 4pm, visitors have the unique opportunity to visit the museum and temple at night. $2 General Admission, Kids 12 and under free. 1-8 p.m. Wo Hing Temple Museum, 858 Front St., Lahaina; 808-661-3262; lahainarestoration.org HABITAT FOR HUMANITY - Volunteers Needed! - Saturdays. HOME BUILDERS: at least 4 hours every Saturday, from 9am-4pm, Experienced Project Managers on-site with training, needed tools/supplies.808-893-0334; habitat-maui.org PET-A-PALOOZA - Sundays. There are kitties and canines who need loving na ‘ohana. Check out this special, weekly open house and find your new best friend. Free. 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Maui Humane Society, 1350 Meha Meha Loop, Puunene; 808-8773680; mauihumanesociety.org

Kanoa of Gomega 10pm-Close; No Cover

MON - Kanoa / TUE - DJ LX / WED- The ADD Twins (All sets 10pm - Close; No Cover)

Slam feat. David Choy

MON-Tom Cherry & Mike Finkiewicz / TUE - Tom Conway; WED - Randall Rospond / Slam w/ David Choy

The Mary Jane Experiment

Arise Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

Industry Night 9pm - 2am; No Cover

Undone Party w/ Q Ross 9pm - 2am; $10

Spun Out w/ DJ N8 Castro, 9pm – 2am; $10

Closed

MON - WED - Closed

‘Ikaika Blackburn Trio 10pm

‘Ohana Groove 10pm

Ladies Night w/ Next Level Entertainment

Free Karaoke

TUE - Thirsty Tuesday & Free Karaoke / WED - Free Karaoke

Karaoke No Cover; 8pm

MON, TUE & WED - Dat Guyz; No Cover

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CANOES - Fri, Howard Ahia 5:30-8:30pm; Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 808661-0937. COOL CAT CAFE - Every Thu, Barefoot Minded; Every Fri & Sat, Dave Caroll; Sun, Night of the Living Dread; Every Mon, Peter D; Every Tue, Live Jazz; Every Wed, Ryan Palma (All Sets 7-10pm; No Cover). Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 808-667-0908. DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Thu, Ernie 3 – 5pm, Garrett & Peter 6 – 8:30pm; Fri, Garrett 3 – 5pm, Kulewa 6 - 8:30pm; Sat, Mondo 3 – 5pm, Kulwea 6 - 8:30pm; Sun, Mondo 3 – 5pm, Ernie & Miles 6 – 8:30pm; Mon, Tue & Wed, Brian 3 – 5pm, Damien & Edee 6 –8:30pm 130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina, 808-662-2900.

Cuomo; Every Tue, Rene Alonso. All sets 7pm Close. No Cover. 3350 L. Honoapiilani Hwy. #203 & 204, Honokowai , 808-667-0787. LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Every Wed, Thu & Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Sat, Harry Troupe 7:30-9:30pm; Sun, Greg Di Piazza 7:30-9:30pm; Every Mon & Tue, Martin Tevaga 7:30-9:30pm 730 Front St., Lahaina, 808-661-0700. LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Every Fri, The J.D on the Rocks Band 2:30-5pm; Every Sat, JD & Harry 2:30-5pm; Every Sun, Kilohana 2:30-5pm Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy. Bldg. J, Ka’anapali, 808-661-4495. LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Every Thu, Classic Rock Thursdays featuring Howard Ahia 6-8pm; Thu, Liko Martin 8-10pm; Every Sun, Cyrus Clark 6-8pm; Every Tue, Karaoke w/ Troy; Every Wed, Sizzling Salsa Nights with DJ music 8pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina, 808-6610808.

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

HULA GRILL - Thu, Bruddah Larry 11:30am – 1pm, Ernest Pua’a 2 - 4pm, Armadillo 4:15 – 6:15pm, Kulewa 6:30 - 9pm; Fri, Ernest Pua’a 11:30am – 1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 2 4pm, 1810 4:15 – 6:15pm, Kawika, Roy & Tarvin 6:30 - 9pm; Sat, Jack Stone 11:30am – 1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 2 – 4pm, 1810 4:15 – 6:15pm, TBA 6:30 - 9pm; Sun, Ron Hetteen 11:30am-1pm; Kawika Lum Ho 2-4pm; 1810 4:15-6:15; Derrick Sebastian Trio 6:30-9pm. Mon, Ernest Pua’a 11:30am – 1pm, Kawika Lum Ho 2 – 4pm, Armadillo 4:15 – 6:15pm, Derrick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30 - 9pm; Tue, Kawika Lum Ho 11:30 a.m – 1pm, Jarrett Roback 2 – 4pm, Ernest Pua’a 4:15 – 6:15pm, Ernest Pua’a & Friends 6:30 - 9pm; Wed, Mika Villaren 11:30am – 1pm, Ernest Pua’a 2 - 4pm, Peter DeAquino 4:15 – 6:15pm, Ernest, Roy & Tarvin 6:30 - 9pm Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Bldg P, Lahaina, 808-667-6636.

CALENDAR LISTINGS

ON MAUITIME.COM

JAVA JAZZ/SOUP NUTZ - Every Thu & Mon, Ashley Welte; Every Fri, Guest Performer; Every Sat, Farzad Azad & Mike Madden; Every Sun, Brian

MERRIMAN’S - Tue, David Choy 5:30-8:30pm; Daily (except Mon & Tue), Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Mon, Phil & Angela Benoit 6-9pm 1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina, 808-669-6400.

PINEAPPLE GRILL - Fri, Jawaiian Music 7-10pm; Sat, Smooth Jazz w/ Brian Cuomo & Friends; Sun, Halloween Bash; 7-10pm 200 Kapalua Drive, Kapalua, 808-6699600. PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Wed, Greg DiPiazza 6-8pm; Tue, Ah Tim 5:30-8:30pm 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 808-661-8881. SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT - Every Tue & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm; Every Sun & Thu, Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Sat, Coehlo Morrison 7-9pm; Every Mon & Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm 5900 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Napili, 808-669-1500. TIA JUANA’S CANTINA - Wed, Tableside Magic with Brenton Keith 6-9pm 2291 Kaanapali Pkwy., Lahaina, 808-667-4080.

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Every Thu, Jamie Gallo 7pm. Tue, “Glee” Screening 7pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-891-1011 BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Every Fri, Tom Cherry & Mike F 5-9pm; Every Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm 300 Maalaea Rd. #1M, Maalaea, 808-243-2286. BOCALINO - Thu, Gina Martinelli 7:30pm; Fri & Sat, DJ Jay 7:30pm; Tue, Soulful Songs with Curtis Williams; Wed 1445 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808874-4041. CAPISCHE? - Sat, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm 555 Kaukahi St., Kihei, 808-879-2224. HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Every Thu, Junior Lacuesta; Every Fri & Tue, Rick Glencross; Every Sat, Ryan Robinson & Wolf; Every Wed, Jordan Cudworth. (All Sets 4-8pm.) Sun, Mon & Tue, Karaoke 8pm; Wed, Open Mic 9pm. 1913 S. Kihei Rd. #E, Kihei, 808-874-1250. KIWI ROADHOUSE - Thu, Dominick 4-6pm, Bad Kitty, 8-11pm; Fri, Mango Pickers 5-7pm, Billy & The Bad Dogs 8-11pm; Sat, Black Powder Blues Band 5-8pm, Vince Esquire 8-11pm; Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 6-9pm.; Wed, Bobby Ingram & Maui Blues 7-10pm. 95 E. Lipoa St., Ste. A101, Kihei, 808-891-8010. LULU’S KIHEI - Fri, Louise Lambert Band, 7:3010:30pm. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-879-9944. MONSOON INDIA - Every Sat, Romantic Violin by Cambria Moss 6:30-8:30pm; Every Tue, Hula Honeys 5:30-8:30pm 760 S. Kihei Rd, Kihei, 808-875-4555. MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu, Slack Key Master Makana 7-9pm; Every Fri, Gail Swanson 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, The Official Loyalty Party (see Big Shows) 6pm; Every Sun, The Celtic Tigers 6-9:30pm; Every Tue, Murray Thorne 6:308:30pm; Every Wed, Willie K 7-9pm; Every Wed, Erin Smiths Super Fantastic Ladies Night 9pm. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 808-874-1131. PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 5:30-7:30 p.m. 34 Wailea Gateway Plaza, Wailea, 808-879-7177. SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Every Thu, Erin Smith; Every Fri, Randall Rospond; Every Sat, Tom Conway; Every Sun, Viva La Rumba; Every Mon, Kanoa; Every Tue, Sebrina Barron; Every Wed,

NOVEMBER 4, 2010 25

Perfection of Mind Lecture with

Lama Ole Nydahl Saturday, November 13 7:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center McCoy Studio Theater

In 1969. Ole Nydahl and his wife Hannah became the first Western students of H.H. the 16th Gyalwa Karmapa. After completing three years of Buddhist philosophy studies and intensive meditation training, Ole Nydahl began teaching Buddhism in the West at the request of the 16th Karmapa. Tickets $20 (plus applicable fees) For more information

MACC Box Office 808.283.6849 242-SHOW (7469) www.mauiarts.org www.diamondway.org/maui 26 NOVEMBER 4, 2010

It’s All About the Music

BY ANU YAGI

PICKS

anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter Wolf. (All Sets 4-6pm) Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-874-6444. STELLA BLUES CAFE - Every Thu, Ah Tim 4-6pm; Every Fri, Ahumanu 4-6pm; Every Sat, Erin Smith 4-6pm; Every Sun, Slam feat. David Choy 5-8pm; Every Mon, Tom Cherry and Mike Finkiewicz 4-6pm ; Every Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Every Wed, Slam feat. David Choy 9pm12am; 1279 South Kihei Rd., # 201, Kihei, 808-874-3779. TAQUERIA CRUZ - Every Tue & Sat, Live Music Reggae, Jazz, Blues 5:30-8:30pm 2395 S. Kihei Rd. #112, Kihei, 808-875-2910. THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Thu & Fri, Tony 7pm; Sat, Steff Lomeli 7pm; Mon, Cyrus Clark 7pm; Tue, Sammy Rouisse 7pm. Wed, Acoustic Rock. 1945-G S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-879-3133. THE RED BAR AT GANNON’S, A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT - Thu, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm; Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm Wailea Golf Club House, 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., Wailea, 808-875-8080. TRADEWINDS POOLSIDE CAFE - Every Thu, Island Favorites w/ Kawika Lum Ho; Every Fri, Girls Nite Out with Gina Martinelli; Every Sat, Classic Rock with Dominic; Every Sun, Crunch Pups “Uncrunhed”; Every Mon, Jam Session with Bobby Ingram & Friends; Every Tue, Mike and Mark; Every Wed, Steve Sargenti. All no cover. 2259 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 808-891-8860.

CENTRAL MAUI

RESORT SHOWS WEST MAUI Hyatt Regency Maui Resort & Spa- 200 Nohea Kai Dr., 808-661-1234. UMALU - Live Music 7-9 p.m.; Daily, Torch Lighting Ceremony 5:30-6 p.m.; Daily (except Wed), Live Music 4-6 p.m. Kaanapali Beach Club - 104 Kaanapali Shores, 808-661-2000. OHANA BAR & GRILL - Every Wed & Thu, Live Music 5:30-9:30 p.m.; Every Sun, Thu & Sat, Torch Lighting Ceremony 5:30-9:30 p.m. Kaanapali Beach Hotel - 2525 Kaanapali Pkwy., 808-661-0011. KANAEHELE ROOM - Daily (except Sun & Mon), “Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages” 4:30-7:30 p.m. TIKI BAR & GRILL - Daily, Hula Show 6:30-7 p.m.; Every Tue & Wed, Leo Kane 6-9 p.m.; Every Sun & Mon, Kealaoka’ (Jason Fundang) 6-9 p.m.; Daily, Music by Lanui 6-9 p.m.

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE - Every Thu, Phil & Angela Benoit 6:30-8:30pm; Every Tue, Open-Mic 6pm. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 808-579-9999. THE HAIKU FOOD EMPORIUM FEATURING OISHI SUSHI - Thu, Troublemakers Trio 7:30-10pm; Every Fri, Makana from Upcountry 7-9pm; Every Tue, Ryan - Keyboards from Brooklyn 7-9pm. 824 Kokomo Rd., Ha’iku, 808-575-2770.

Makena Beach & Golf Resort - 5400 Makena Alanui, 808-875-5888. MAKENA BEACH & GOLF RESORT - Every Sun, Live Music 9 a.m.-1 p.m. The Shops at Wailea - 3750 Wailea Alanui, 808-891-6770. THE SHOPS AT WAILEA - Wed, Jamie Lawerence and friends 6:30-8:30 p.m. Wailea Beach Marriot Resort & Spa - 3700 Wailea Alanui, 808-879-1922.

EAST MAUI

LONGBOARDS KA’ANAPALI - Daily, Solo guitarists and sunset hula dancers 5:30-8:30 p.m.; Every Sun, Miles Ahead Duo 8-11 a.m.; Every Wed, Desmond Yap 5:30-9:30 p.m.

HOTEL HANA-MAUI - Every Fri, Hula dancing 7-8 p.m.

ROYAL OCEAN TERRACE - Every Thu, Fri & Sat, Live Hawaiian Music 6-8 p.m.

GREEN BANANA CAFE - Every Tue, Thu & Sat, Polynesian Dance Coffee Luau 6pm. 137 Hana Hwy., Paia, 808-579-9130.

GRAND DINING ROOM - Every Sun, Live Hawaiian Music and Hula Performances 10:30 a.m.-1 p.m.

Marriot Maui Ocean Club - 100 Nohea Kai Dr., 808-667-1200.

CAFE O’LEI AT THE DUNES AT MAUI LANI - Thu, Reiko Fukina 5:30-8pm; Every Fri & Sat, Phil and Angela Benoit 5:30-8pm.1333 Maui Lani Pkwy., Kahului, 808-877-0073.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI

BOTERO BAR & LOUNGE - Every Wed, Live Hawaiian Music 5:30-9:30 p.m.

KUMU BAR & GRILL - Daily, Hula Dancing 6:30-9 p.m.

Ritz-Carlton Kapalua - One Ritz-Carlton Dr., 808-669-6200.

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE - Mon, Open Mic Band Auditions. 8pm. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 808-877-9001.

Grand Wailea Resort & Spa- 3850 Wailea Alanui Dr., 808-875-1234.

TIKI TERRACE RESTAURANT - Sun, Ka’anapali Champagne Brunch 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

BRIGIT & BERNARD’S GARDEN CAFE - Every Fri & Sat in Oct (beginning Oct 9), Annual Oktoberfest with live oohmpah band The Dorfmusikanten, Fridays 6pm - Close & Saturdays 7pm - Close. 355 Ho’ohana St., Kahului, 808-877-6000.

CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY RESTAURANT Every night, Francois on piano; Every Fri & Sat, “Early Late Night” live music until 11pm; Every Sun, Fausto on acoustic guitar during brunch. 500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului, 808-873-6555.

LOBBY LOUNGE - Daily, Torch Lighting Ceremony 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Tue, Jazz Music 8-10:30 p.m.; Every Mon, Wed, Thu & Sat, Fri, Jazz Music 8-11:30 p.m.; Sun, Hawaiian Music 8:30-10:30 p.m.; Daily, Hula Dancers 5:30-6:30 p.m.

ALALOA LOUNGE - Every Fri & Sat, Live entertainment 8-12 p.m. Royal Lahaina Resort - 2780 Kekaa Dr., 808-661-3611.

Sheraton Maui - 2605 Kaanapali Pkwy., 808-661-0031. LAGOON BAR - Daily, Cliff Diving 6-8 p.m.; Daily, Torch Lighting Ceremony 6-8 p.m.; Daily, Live Music 6-9 p.m. Sugar Cane Train - 975 Limahana Pl., 808-661-0088. SUGAR CANE TRAIN - Thu, Sugar Cane Train Dinner 5 p.m.; Daily, Ride the Sugar Cane Train 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Warren & Annabelle’s - 900 Front St., 808-667-6244. WARREN & ANNABELLE’S - Daily (except Sun.), Warren & Annabelle’s Magic Show 5 p.m. Westin Maui Resort & Spa - 2365 Kaanapali Pkwy., 808-667-2525. ONO BAR & GRILL - Sun, Raz Shaggai 6-9 p.m.; Fri, Brian Haia 6-9 p.m.; Sat, Keali’i Lum 6-9 p.m.; Wed, Scott Baird Duo with James DeBose 6-9 p.m.

SOUTH MAUI Fairmont Kea Lani - 4100 Wailea Alanui, 808-840-8402. FAIRMONT KEA LANI - Daily, Live Music 5:30-9:30 p.m.

MELE MELE LOUNGE - Daily, Live Music 9-11 p.m. Hotel Hana-Maui - 5031 Hana Hwy., 808-248-8211.

PANIOLO LOUNGE - Every Sun, Wed, Thu & Sat, Live music 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Every Fri, Live music 6-9 p.m.

LIST YOUR EVENT! Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo and a link to your Web site. Go to mauitime.com/listing and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

There are over 100 things you could be doing today on Maui. Go to mauitime.com for complete weekly calendar listings, and find something to do today.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Looking for something to do? Use MauiTime’s free calendar to browse hundreds of events online. Art galleries, family events, education classes, film and literary events, church groups, music, sports, volunteer opportunities—all this and more on our free events calendar at mauitime.com/calendar.

POLO BEACH GRILLE & BAR - Daily, Live Music 4-5:30 p.m. Four Seasons Resort - 3900 Wailea Alanui, 808874-8000.

Start planning your week!

NOVEMBER 4, 2010 27

BY ANU YAGI

KULA KID

anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi on Twitter

Pretty In Ink

I

“

FR EE QUICKBOOKS

TRAINING Wednesday, December 8th 5:30-7:30pm

For questions or to RSVP call 270-1089 or email qbtraining@levinhu.com

77 Ho’okele St. Ste. 302, Kahului (Directly behind Home Depot)

28 NOVEMBER 4, 2010

hate tattoos—especially on women,” he said, prompted by a TV commercial featuring a beautiful model who had been, to him, marred by her markings. “It’s like moldy cheese. You can cut it off, but you still know it was there.” We were mere days into dating, so he shot me a look and asked, “You don’t have any tattoos, do you?” I did. Just one. It was done by a friend of my (heavily tattooed) exboyfriend’s friend, on someone’s couch in Kihei (which, when I was 15 years old, seemed like the furthest away town I’d ever been to at night without my parents). We paid too much for it, but I’m sure it was because the artist knew I was lying about my age. I’d wanted a canine paw print, simple and black; but that friend of a friend of my ex-boyfriend (who knew me so well) managed to convince me I would not like what I wanted. So instead I got a…well, I’d rather not say. (OK. If you must know, it was a purple dragon. See? Lame.) After five years together (the “loathsome” tattoo now a decade old), the man who’d likened my hip to the green end of a brick of cheddar said he’d learned to overlook it, and was no longer as repulsed as he had been in the past. That, I suppose, is true love. Nonetheless, any more tattoos, for those five years, were absolutely taboo.

I

have a Halloween curse. My plans are thwarted every year, as I seem to get stuck deep in the throes of chest-wracking heaves that dredge from some other dimension phlegm the color of radioactive sludge. Last year, I went so far as to catch blood cancer. So this year I planned to play it safe (and recuperate) by not doing anything at all except get some much-need work done. But when I opened my e-mail to access the files I needed for this week’s cover story, I found a couple messages from friends at the Paia Tattoo Parlor, part of which described a Halloween special: Pick-A-Skull off their “pork chop list” for just $25. I’m impulsive and a sucker for a good deal, and seeing as I’m no longer under the tattoo moratorium (or the boyfriend), I decided to check it out. Likely, I’d chicken out. But that’s OK, at least I was out. Besides, the events of the past year left me with a few ruddy scars

that look more like the remnants of a bad case of shingles than the slice and stitches they actually are. I’ve been dying to both commemorate and cover them up, and this seemed like my first, well-timed chance. But it didn’t occur to me until I got to the parlor and saw said pork chop list exactly why it is that I like the Paia Tattoo Parlor so much (nor did it occur to me how musty that Mexican dress and sombrero I quickly unearthed from the costume bins were going to smell). At the skilled hands of Justin Yates, I got the Americana skull of my dreams with a quill pen through the eye sockets and little flowers colored like native poppies. As I got it, friends and strangers asked me how it felt, and I replied “good.” Brendan Smith—who with his girlfriend Sarah was a superb Snookie and The Situation—said, “oh, yeah, good,” and it was then that I realized it was an odd answer. But really, it felt good.

I

n preparing for this week’s cover story, Charlie Lustman and I spent a few good hours, as he says, “sharing war stories.” I didn’t have my jaw sawed out or anything, but once you get cancer, you’re part of the club. Sitting and blabbing like that was nice, really. I haven’t talked to too many other “cancer kids” (as I’ve taken to signing cards to my mom, making her laugh in that tearful “mom” way)— never mind true-blue survivors. Lustman commented that even if you thought you were kind of tough before cancer, you come to sort of relish pain after cancer. It’s true. Watch someone cut lumps of flesh and bone out of your body—lidocaine or no—and yeah, smiling through the pain becomes a treasured way to experience that feeling. Monday morning I rushed in to work, and showed body-art connoisseur (and advertising executive) Brad Chambers my new decoration, first thing. “I have a feeling you’re going to get addicted,” he said. He’s right; I can’t wait for more. In fact, tattoos may just become as prevalent on me as, well, mold on cheese. ■

For more Kula Kid, visit mauifeed. com/kulakid. To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1419k

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN

HOROSCOPE

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com +

Sign Language SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Being in business with someone you don’t think is on the up and up is never fun. However, we frequently end up in situations where we must interact with people we know don’t have our best interests in mind, like banks, insurance companies, and the like. Financially, it’s very difficult to make choices that allow us to avoid that type of scenario, but personally, it’s often quite simple. This week it gets even simpler, because it will finally be clear that it’s time to ditch that person whose agenda isn’t particularly concerned with your well-being. Cut them loose. SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC.21) Carrying a grudge is much too heavy a burden for someone as usually lighthearted as you, especially because, in most cases, even if you were wronged, you had the good fortune to end up on top. Why waste time on negativity when you were the one who scored the girl/guy, job, or lucky break, despite their best efforts to sabotage you? Surely, it’d be more galling to those who wronged you to see you being gracious, happy, and successful, rather than sour, pinch-faced, and mean. Slap a smile on your face already, and remember to enjoy your victories, instead of focusing too much on your near-misses. CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) Who you date, love, or marry should be about the big picture. Not the specifics. If much of your “love” is predicated on the size of a wallet, the massiveness of certain body parts, or the prettiness of a face, I can only hope that the other person recognizes that and flees before things get too serious. Those are the basis for a fling, not a relationship. While income or sex appeal can and should be pieces of a bigger picture, you ought to have to play “Where’s Waldo” to find them. If they’re front and center, the long-term potential of the connection is probably pretty limited; here’s hoping one of you realizes that before someone gets seriously hurt. AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) Aquarians are likely to travel very far before they realize that they took a wrong turn. Perhaps you’ll be 90% of the way towards being a doctor before you figure out that you really don’t want to practice medicine. Of course, such a revelation or admission could be almost traumatic (for you and whoever paid for your years of schooling), but don’t get too worked up about it. Your first impulse will, naturally, be to change course immediately—however, that wouldn’t be the wisest decision. Although you should begin to consider alternatives, see this choice through to its next immediate conclusion (graduating from medical school, for instance) before you figure out what’s next. You’ve come this far, after all. PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) When you’ve gotten into a serious rut, things that you wouldn’t have considered before (such as an affair with a married person, or spontaneously quitting your job) may begin to look very attractive. Of course, you know in your heart that pursuing such extremes can only end in tears, and not just for you. However, that doesn’t mean you must resign yourself to living in an emotional ditch—you need to simply be more creative as to how to escape it. This week should present you with at least three significant opportunities to shake things up without knocking them down completely. Seize them. ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Hearing that your best friends don’t like the person you’re dating isn’t particularly fun. However, you chose these friends for a reason. If their dislike is based on something superficial, you should question why these people are so close to you. However, it’s more likely that their animosity is based on how your significant other treats you—in which case heeding their unwanted and painful message is warranted, and may keep you from making a terrible decision you’d regret later. Remember, there’s no need to necessarily end things on the basis of a bad feeling from your buddies; however, slowing them down or changing their direction is probably a fantastic idea.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) I’m embarrassed for people who take Fox News (which I consider preposterously biased bullshit) at face value. Unfortunately, there are those who are simply too stupid, blind, or willfully ignorant to see the ridiculousness of that particular paradigm (and others of its ilk). It’s not that I’m afraid of those with different opinions; what I fear is those who can’t even look at the big picture and acknowledge the insanity of such a narrow viewpoint. I’m willing to hear out anyone who’s sane, thoughtful, and reasonably articulate, even if they disagree with me. However, I will unabashedly dismiss anyone whose main m.o. is simply ranting vitriolic nonsense—so should you.

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS: Answers to questions on page 8

1. Tim O’Kelly; Scott Caan 2. Oahu’s Kahuku beach 3. It grunts when in danger

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) The One Laptop Per Child (laptop.org) charity aims to get low-cost laptops into the hands of impoverished children around the world (and has already distributed more than 2 million laptops). This gives these kids access not only to millions of books (the laptops come with ebooks loaded) they’d never have seen, but also the plethora of information and opportunity on the Internet. When someone has so little, it’s hard to imagine how much such a chance could mean. You may not be able to make such a profound and obvious difference in someone’s life this week. However, improving the lot of someone in need, even in small ways, is well within your reach. Please do so. CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) You made an offer and it was accepted in good faith. Now you’re regretting your decision—not because it was the wrong choice, but because you may be too squeamish, lazy, judgmental, or flaky to follow through on your promise. Acknowledge that you may be demonstrating some of your worst qualities, and use this as an opportunity to outgrow them. Make good on your word, and do so gracefully, not resentfully. You may, of course, rethink what you put on the table in the future, but since you made this bed, you need to lie in it—without complaint. LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) Leos don’t always have the best work ethic around (and if you think you do, just ask a Virgo who knows you well). However, the “lazy Leo” stereotype is hardly accurate. In fact, the Leos I know always make a point—as a matter of personal pride— of doing an excellent job, and use efficiency to get things done quickly so they can laze about with a clear conscience. This distinction may need to be pointed out to someone who doubts you. However, do so gracefully and smoothly, lest you be “punished” for your efficiency (by being given even more work and responsibility). VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) Virgos aren’t as frequently passive-aggressive as they’re made out to be. However, when you go there, you go there. No one’s as good as you are at firmly pressing the big red DESTRUCT button while appearing to do nothing. Be on the lookout for warning signs that you could be engaged in such behavior (for instance, a good friend might tell you!) and investigate and acknowledge what you really want from the situation. Then act on it. It’s kinder and quicker to pursue your goals directly, rather than simply allowing them to come about through inaction (or maliciously subtle and hard-to-trace action). LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Don’t ask whether, but rather how, to help. You’re in a position to offer the fruits of your expertise, experience, or common sense to someone desperately in need of them. There is no real ethical issue here if you’re also willing to share these things with others who ask for them, so feel free to step up and allow someone to benefit from your skills, since you’re in such a perfect position to do so. When in doubt, remember: ignoring those kinds of opportunities never feels good; gracefully embracing them is almost always a win-win.

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