15.33 Building Maui's Future, February 2, 2012, Volume 15, Issue 33, MauiTime

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Contents VOLUME 15

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: What used to be on Maui that you really miss? Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter The Carthaginian

✚

ISSUE 33

BY READERS LIKE YOU ON WRITERS’ LIKES BAGPIPING RESPONSIBILITIES To the person complaining about

COVER: Watch this sand castle get destroyed by a three year-old on the shores of Ka‘anapali @ mauifeed.com Photo by Scrappers

Associate Editor: Anu Yagi (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com @anuheayagi on Twitter The Log Ride of Death at the (old) Maui Mall Proofreader: Dina Wilson The Artful Dodger’s Feed & Read Contributors: Jason Castle, Caeriel Crestin, Mick E. Finn, Lantana Hoke, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com My red hair Art Director & Production Manager: Scrappers scrapperstown.com & thedepartmentofawesome.com Active Lava Flow Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia (Maggie), Christina Tarleton Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Human sacrifice and Dairy Queen General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter

4 NEWS & VIEWS 10 FEATURE STORY 12 DINING 17 THIS WEEK’S PICKS 20 DA KINE CALENDAR 21 THE GRID 26 FILM CRITIQUE 27 FILM TIMES 28 KULA KID 29 HOROSCOPE 30 CLASSIFIED 31 MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Admin. Executive: Keo Eaton (808) 244-0777 Borders Admin. Assistant: Jennifer Brown Borders Web Design: Linear Publishing Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Uncle Rudy and House of Saimin

2 1 for

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2011 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime. MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

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I was struck by your absolute insistence that “journalism is an absolute” in your latest issue (Coconut Wireless, Jan. 26, 2012). You said, “A person is a journalist–an outsider in society, free of entanglements and official ties–or a person isn’t.” But isn’t all reporting done from a point of view. Three people viewing an incident from three different perspectives might well see three different events. Paolo Freire in Pedagogy of the Oppressed (a book now banned in Arizona public schools) says, “Washing one’s hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to

the Upcountry bagpipes (Eh Brah, Jan. 26, 2012): be advised that we long term residents find their mournful sound rather endearing. Besides, how does a bagpipe player even know when he’s tone deaf? Where does he get a b-flat cat to tune the durn thing? The Scots invented the bagpipe to scare their enemies while marching to war. Limited success apparently! -Al Rabold, via email

COVERING THE COVER Your [Jan. 26, 2012] cover photo and inside photo is pretty tasteless. Mind Body Spirit on this isle is so much more than two haole girls in a sexual/ spiritual “artistic” pose taken by a mainland haole girl. Very disappointing to see MauiTime stoop so low. -Amy S, via Mauitime.com

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side with the powerful, not to be neutral.” I think a writer has a responsibility to tell the reader where they are coming from and to be honest about their point of view, but not to have a point of view is simply to support the status quo. -Ed Felien, via email Anthony Pignataro responds: I would never begrudge a journalist a point of view. My problem is with journalists who hold other loyalties–in this case, Maui Now reporter Wendy Osher also shouldering the responsibilities as a member of the Maui County Fire and Public Safety Commission. That’s a conflict of interest, which most journalists are taught to avoid.

Another great artistic cover design! MauiTime has some great innovative graphic designers. -Jerry Isdale, via Facebook Hello. This is in regards to your Mind Body Spirit issue, dated Thursday, Jan. 26, 2012. It is disgusting. It is pornography. -Anonymous, via voicemail Really nice photo job, Naomi [Sheikin]!! So entwined and symmetrical. -Jane D. Sexton, via Facebook

Love it!!! Killer!!! Hot, hot, hot!!! -Juliana Dillitzer, via Facebook I’d like to let you know that your January 26, 2012 front cover page is very offending and distasteful, un-tasty and just weird. You shouldn’t have the word “Maui” on your newspaper if you’re going to do that kind of stuff. -Anonymous, via voicemail The Editor responds: Actually, you’re right about our Jan. 26 issue being “untasty,” and I apologize if you found it unsatisfying. If you want a tastier cover, I suggest you sample our Sept. 1, 2011 Taste of Maui issue. It was scrumptious.

Send your feedback

to the editor

editor@mauitime.com, MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793, twitter.com/mauitime, or facebook.com/mauitime. We reserve the right to edit feedback. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of MauiTime.

FEBRUARY 2, 2012

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NEWS&VIEWS

QUIZunderstood 1. In its Jan. 25 edition, the New York Times ran a story about the Hawaii Visitors and Convention Bureau’s new $7 million marketing campaign. Which of the following statements did Jay Talwar, the bureau’s senior vice president, NOT make, according to the story? A. “[The goal is] to develop the brand personality for each of the islands and communicate that in a way we haven’t in the past.” B. “[The campaign] was actually a lot of fun to work on. There’s just so much material out here to use.” C. “Someone on an island gets a new wedding chapel and declares, ‘We’re the romance island,’ or gets a new golf course and says, ‘We’re the golf island.’” D. “We need to create a sense of difference about each island and convey that each delivers a different experience.” E. “[$7 million is] significantly more than we’ve put behind a campaign for a bunch of years. It’s usually more in the $4 million range.”

2. Late last year the U.S. Navy finally acquired the two old Hawaii Superferries for $35 million (which “technically was not a sale,” according to an Orwellian Maritime Administration

spokesperson). According to a Jan. 27 story in the Hampton Roads VirginianPilot, what’s the Navy going to do with the vessels? A. Convert them to “Defense Department use” and then send at least one back to the Pacific. B. They were going to give them to Afghanistan so they can start building a navy, but then some know-it-all ensign said that Afghanistan is land-locked. C. Turn around and sell them on eBay. D. Send them down to the Florida Keys and convert them into the most bad-ass party boats in the world.

3. Jan. 28 was a bad day for Hawaiian singer Cecilio Rodriguez, according to the Associated Press. Why was that? A. He got hit by a car in Barstow, California. B. A California judge sentenced him to a year of sex-offender counseling and five years probation after he pleaded no contest to molesting two girls in the 1990s. C. A California judge sentenced him to a year of prison (suspended) for tax evasion. D. Someone found a recording of him singing “My Humps” by the Black Eyed Peas.

See answers, page 29

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NEWS&VIEWS

Coconut Wireless

Talk of the Island

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

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“It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.”-Voltaire

Hirono & Simmons totally shreading

COUNTY NEEDLES OCCUPY MONSANTO I keep a number of famous quotations posted around my office at work, and one of my favorites has always been from Voltaire: “It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.” There’s something both heroic and chilling about calling bullshit on the powerful–especially when we live in times when government officials at all levels are becoming more aggressive towards skeptical citizens who find themselves disagreeing with the official line. Government’s anti-speech actions range from military and espionage agencies spying on domestic organizations (especially if they’re Muslim) to police officers arresting people who try to record said police officers going about their official duties. Newspapers and blogs are filled with stories detailing these kinds of adversarial encounters, and they seem to be getting worse. You’d think a laid-back place like Maui would take a more relaxed view to political protests. Not so. Last year, Maui Police Officer Nelson Johnson physically assaulted MauiTime Publisher Tommy Russo when Russo wouldn’t stop filming Johnson in the very public Wailuku Municipal Parking Lot. This year, MPD has taken to harassing a group of activists calling themselves Occupy Monsanto, who spent last week camped out on the public highway fronting Monsanto’s operation–home of all sorts of genetically modified seeds–in Kihei. Seriously, these guys were just standing on the roadside waving signs. That’s it. They weren’t tearing down fences, throwing rocks at cars or marching onto private property. At most, there were a couple dozen people out there at any given time. Yet the harassment got so bad (activists filmed two incidents in which cops told them to move along and posted the footage on their Facebook page) that the activists now have legal representation from the American Civil Liberties Union’s Hawaii office, which wrote to the County of Maui’s Corporation Counsel’s office on Jan. 24 to

protest the actions by the MPD. “The protesters are approximately thirty feet from the roadway,” ACLU Hawaii staff attorney Daniel Gluck wrote. “Our understanding is that this is public property and that no statute, ordinance, or rule prohibits this protest or limits this type of activity to certain times of day.” The county reacted quickly to Gluck’s letter (ACLU Hawaii is also representing former Kihei resident Tess Meier and her husband Jamie in their fight against the City of Honolulu for busting up their perfectly legal “Go Topless Day” protest last August), writing back a mere 24 hours later. Of course, Corporation Counsel attorney Moana M. Lutey denied that any harassment had taken place. “None of the protestors [sic] have been arrested, cited, or threatened with arrest or citation for protesting at Monsanto,” Lutey wrote. “Instead, the protestors [sic] have simply been asked to comply with the same rules that apply to sign waivers (i.e. maintaining a certain distance from intersections for traffic safety, do not stand in the middle of a divided highway, etc.).”

Yet video posted on the Occupy Monsanto website clearly shows a Maui Police Officer telling protesters they had to leave. “You’re not supposed to be here,” the unidentified officer tells one of the activists. “You need a permit.” Lutey wrote that “it is my understanding that the protestors [sic] have been leaving at nightfall” and that “it is my understanding that the protestors [sic] leave of their own volition and not as a result of any threats by MPD.” In fact, the same video posted on the Occupy Monsanto Facebook page shows the same MPD officer telling the activists “no camping”–meaning, they have to vacate at night. Where is the “traffic safety” issue here? Since when does someone need a “permit” to stand on the side of the road? If it’s legal and fine for political candidates and their minions to stand on roadsides waving signs, then it should be legal and fine for the Occupy Monsanto people to do so on the public roadside outside Monsanto’s property. Seems ACLU Hawaii agrees with me. “No government official has given any basis

Overheard “How wet did I make your britches?” -Woman talking to a companion at a restaurant in Kahului, Jan. 22

for the statement that the safety of the protesters, the drivers, or the general public is at risk,” Gluck told the Corporation Counsel’s office.

HIRONO JOINS A DOOBIE BROTHER! You read that right, kids: on Tuesday, Feb. 21, Congresswoman Mazie Hirono (D, 2nd District) will celebrate Mardi Gras by holding a fundraiser for her U.S. Senate campaign with Patrick Simmons of the Doobie Brothers. “The very first rock concert Mazie attended featured the Doobie Brothers,” states the press release announcing the fundraiser, which will take place (of course) at the Kihei house belonging to Shep Gordon. You may know him from such celebrity manager gigs as Alice Cooper, Ben Vereen, Kenny Loggins and Raquel Welch (local musician Tom Conway, dubbed by Anu Yagi as Maui’s “Six-String Sensei,” will also attend). Who knew that Haiku resident Simmons A) supported Hirono’s slightly-left-of-center politics and B) disliked the prospect of former Republican Governor Linda Lingle winning a seat in the U.S. Senate so much that he’d show at a political fundraiser? Actually, the Center for Responsive Politics says Simmons gave former Democratic presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich– one of the more lefty guys to run for the White House in the last, oh, century–nearly $4,500 since 2004, so his presence at a Hirono event isn’t that surprising (Gordon is no stranger to politics either, having given Hirono $500 back in 2007). Anyone willing to donate at least $100 to Hirono’s campaign (“not deductible for federal income tax purposes”) can attend, and those ponying up $1,000 or more can attend a special 5:30pm “pre-reception” with Hirono and Simmons (the whole event runs 6:308:30pm). For more information, email Josh Handelman at josh@mazieforhawaii.com. ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1533n1

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BY JEN RUSSO They even deliver if the order is $40 or more, and will also drop off full containers and pick up empties for refilling. Healy says Upcountry Fitness was the first business to subscribe to the drop-off and pick-up service, and they’re currently looking for vacation rentals and other local businesses to participate as well. “I am not going to say I am an environmentalist,” Healy says. “However, I am a consumer who sees a big problem in the excessive packaging of products that is causing our planet to suffer. I am also a mom of three boys and I only wish they can have what I had growing up in nature without any concern for the future.”

IMUA FAMILY SERVICES WINS HAWAII BUSINESS AWARD Hawaii Business Magazine has named Imua Family Services one of the best places to work in the state. This follows a national recognition from the Nonprofit Times. “What makes Imua Family Services a great place to work? Three things: Doing great work for children and families on Maui; working with a stellar team of dedicated professionals; and working with the support of our community and county,” said Dean Wong, Imua’s executive director. “This recognition is a tribute to the efforts of our employees and their passion for achieving great outcomes for the children and families we serve.” Imua Family Services provides comprehensive early childhood development services to children and their families with the support and resources needed to achieve their full potential in life. Each year, more than 2,500 residents on Maui and Lanai receive support from Imua Family Services through the Infant & Child Development Program, Early Childhood Development Program, Newborn Hearing Screening and Camp Imua. Award selection was based on a comprehensive review of each organization’s benefits, career development, training and retention, as well as feedback from employees through an extensive survey. Imua Family Services has a staff of 40 and utilizes approximately 400 volunteers per year. The awards ceremony will take place on March 30 at the Sheraton Waikiki (the April Issue of HBM will also announce this year’s winners). Imua Family Services was also recognized last October as a finalist by Pacific Business News Cades Schutte Nonprofit Leadership Award. Imua also won the Best Place to Work award from HBM in 2008 and 2010. The data collected for the awards are researched and analyzed by the Best Companies Group. This year marks Imua’s 65th anniversary. Maui can anticipate several new events, programs and fundraisers this year, including a public performance at the Maui Arts & Cultural Center by Patrick Henry Hughes, the inspirational young man and author of I am Potential who made a national TV appearance on Oprah. Other events include the Fantasia Ball Gala Fundraiser at the Grand Wailea Ballroom celebrating Imua’s 65 year anniversary, the 15th anniversary of the Roy’s Restaurants Classic Golf Classic and The First Annual Paddle Imua–a stand-up, six-man, OC1 and prone paddle fundraising event for Camp Imua. For more information, please visit imuafamilyservices.org or call 808-244-7467.

Dogs Love Suraru.

REFILLABLE SOAP OPERA If you’re sick of seeing used packaging piling up in your garbage can, you’ll probably rejoice over the new soap refill shop in Haiku. Sutton Healy, who owns the ‘Aina Ola Soap Refill Shop, was looking to create a business that contributed to the ecological health of the island by finding a better way to deal with growing numbers of plastic containers clogging our landfills. Sutton opened the shop last December, but will host a grand opening on Feb. 4 from 3pm to sunset. “I believe it’s not only tree huggers who are now well aware of the issues we have caused by over-consumption, over-packaging and over-use of plastic,” says ys Healy. “I am simply providing an alternative for the individuals who get annoyed every time they finish a product in a plas-

tic container and realize they can only recycle it or throw it away. Now they can reuse it to fill up on soap.” ‘Aina Ola carries “Earth Friendly Products,” a brand of nontoxic and neutral pH cleaning products in laundry, dish and hand soaps. They also sell smaller, reusable containers made of PET plastic for $1 to $2. Otherwise, bring whatever container you like and fill it with their quality soaps. In fact, they have a tree mural at the store that gets a new leaf painted on every time they refill a bottle. Healy says they have a little over 50 right now. Most of their products come unscented or in a variety of scents. ECOS laundry soap is their most popular item, and comes in magnolia lily, lavender, lemongrass and free & clear scents. They charge by the liquid ounce and p prices range from $0.12/oz to $0.27/oz, $ depending on the product. prod

TWEET of the WEEK “Some guy is ratting out his fro in the parking lot. With a tiny pink Barbie doll brush. I am going to leave now.” -@daffodilblog (Maui blogger Daffodil Campbell), Jan. 31, 2012

SUBARU HELPS ANIMALS In November we reported that Subaru would donate money every time someone bought a car in the month of December. Subaru also had a popularity contest on their Facebook page where you could vote for your favorite non-profit. That “Share the Love” event brought in $6,700 fo the Hawaii Wildlife Fund and $2,300 to SPCA Maui in car sales and an additional $5,000 for the Hawaii Wildlife Fund for winning the fan favorite. “Hawaii Wildlife Fund’s multiple, ongoing conservation projects will benefit from Subaru Hawaii’s generosity and the publicity of the Share the Love campaign,” said Cheryl King, Hawaii Wildlife Fund vice president. “We can only hope that other businesses recognize the importance of giving back to the community so we can all work together to protect our natural resources, which makes Hawaii a better place to visit and live.” Whitney White, SPCA Maui’s president, agreed. “Being a part of Subaru Hawaii’s Share the Love campaign has been fantastic in so many ways,” said White. “SPCA Maui extends a Mahalo Nui to Subaru Hawaii for this contribution which will help us save thousands of dogs and cats from homelessness and suffering through our spay/neuter programs.”

KEIKI FEST NEEDS VENDORS Once a year at the University of Hawaii Maui campus there’s a free bash all for the kids. Crafts, games, prizes, networking for community groups, bouncy castles, stage appearances, food booths shave ice are all courtesy of the community’s generosity. The Keiki Fest is slated for Saturday April 14, but the event is recruiting vendors now. To get involved call or email Vanessa Kina at 250.2777 or keikifest@gmail.com. To see the 2010 Keiki Fest, check out mauivents.com/maui-events/maui-community/ keiki-fest/. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1533n2

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NEWS&VIEWS

NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY CHUCK SHEPARD

THE ENTREPRENEURIAL SPIRIT! “[Our critics] are absolutely right. We are professional liars,” said Everett Davis, founder of the Internet-based Reference Store, which supplies pumped-up, but false, resumes for job-seekers having trouble landing work. Davis and associates are, he told Houston’s KRIV-TV in November, ex-investigators schooled in deception and therefore good at fooling human resources personnel who follow up on the bogus work claims. Davis admitted he would even disguise a customer’s past criminal record–but not if the job is in public safety, health care or schools.

MEDICAL MARVELS The British Medical Journal reported in December that until recently a 76-year-old woman had not been bothered by the felt-tip pen she accidentally swallowed 25 years ago. It was removed without complication, and, though the plastic was flaky, the pen still had an ink supply and was “usable.” And twice during 2011, babies with two heads were born in Brazil. Though the first, in Paraiba state, died hours after birth, the 9.9-pound “Emanoel” and “Jesus,” born in Para state in December, are apparently otherwise healthy. The baby has two heads and two spines but shares one heart, liver, pelvis and pair of lungs.

MEDICAL MARVELS (CANINE EDITION) The Dogs Trust in Kenilworth, England, was soliciting potential homes in December for “Bentley,” a Border Collie whose monophobia might make it what the Daily Mail calls the “most cowardly” dog in the country. While frisky around people, Bentley immediately goes into a frightened sulk when left alone, cowering from cats, holing up behind a couch, and constantly biting his nails, even at the sound of a cat on television. (Bentley was recently outfitted with special lace-up booties to preserve the nails.)

THIS WEEK IN EWWWWW Ratnagiri, India, businessman Murad Mulla, 48, filed a complaint recently with the Maharashtra Medical Council after his surgeon used an outdated procedure to cure his urine-retention disorder. Previously, skin from the scrotum was routinely used for urethral repair, but current science recommends using skin from the mouth to avoid the worst-case risk, which Mulla apparently experienced. Specifically, the scrotum contains both hair-bearing tissue and non-hair-bearing tissue, and only the latter is usable. Evidently, Mullas’ surgeon used hair-bearing tissue, and as a result, Mulla’s urethra itches constantly, and he expels specks of pubic hair with his urine.

LEADING ECONOMIC INDICATORS Bernard Madoff’s Ponzi scheme cost 16,500 investors a total of as much as $18 billion, according to the court-appointed trustee, but at least Madoff is not on death row. In Hangzhou, China, in November, Ji Wenhua and his brother and their father (who were managers of the Yintai Real Estate

and Investment Group) were sentenced to death after their convictions for cheating 15,000 investors out of the equivalent of $1.1 billion. Prosecutors said the men had continued to collect money by claiming profits while losses mounted.

NEWS OF THE PRIVILEGED Among the high-end items catching consumers’ fancy last holiday season was premium firewood, for those who need to burn trees for reasons beyond merely warming the house. “Pretty white birch logs” were a best-selling item for Paul’s Fireplace Wood of Little Falls, Minn., and the owner of J.N. Firewood (Fort Ripley, Minn.) touted its “really cool blue flame and crackling noises,” according to a December Wall Street Journal report. (The wood itself goes for well over $1 a pound, even before adding the substantial shipping cost.)

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

T

o the people I keep seeing who take advantage of service animal certifications: You should all be ashamed of taking advantage of a program that is specifically designed for people who have disabilities or special needs. Going online and getting false documents for dogs that are untrained and unqualified is outrageous. What happens when your dog bites someone while they’re wearing a service vest? Or when the dog goes the bathroom on a flight because they were never trained properly? You are all selfish and should stop taking advantage of a much needed program that benefits people with real needs. Do the right thing or leave Maui because we don’t need your kind here. ■

POOR ANGER MANAGEMENT Janet Knowles, 62, was arrested in January in Jupiter, Fla., for aggravated assault after allegedly bludgeoning her housemate, 65, with a hammer as they watched television. The victim said only that Knowles was “upset with Judge Judy.” And Michael Monsour, the former CEO of Monsour Medical Center in Jeannette, Pa., was charged with assaulting his brother, Dr. William Monsour, in their father’s home on New Year’s Eve. In an argument, Michael allegedly bit William’s nose so hard that he required cosmetic surgery. (Michael’s temper remained untempered. The next day, according to police, Michael sent William an email threatening to beat him “into blood pudding.”)

Illustration by Ron Pitts mauiartistronpitts.com

NEED GYM TIME According to police in Bellingham, Wash., William Lane, 22, had yelled slurs at a lesbian couple in the early morning of Dec. 11 and smashed the car window of one of the women, but she immediately chased him down, tackled him, and held him until help arrived. And Anthony Miranda, 24, was arrested and charged with armed robbery in December in Chicago after unknowingly choosing as his victim an “ultimate fighting” champion. The “victim” gave Miranda two black eyes and a heavily lacerated face, and, as Miranda drew his gun, overpowered him in such a way that Miranda wound up shooting himself in the ankle.

NOT READY FOR PRIME TIME Keith Savinelli, 21, was arrested in Gallatin County, Mont., in December and charged with attempted burglary involving a woman’s underwear. When the resident caught Savinelli in the act, he attempted to talk her out of reporting him by apologizing and handing her his voter registration card, but she called police, anyway. And a 25-year-old man was rescued by fire crews in Tranent, Scotland, in December and taken to Edinburgh Royal Infirmary. According to police, four men were attempting to steal an eight-ton steamroller when the 25-year-old got his leg trapped underneath. The other three fled. ■ chuck@mauitime.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1533n3

FEBRUARY 2, 2012

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y r o t S g n i k l g a e n i T i a d N l e i D e Bu n n e i c u L h t se Of i

s ’ i u Mature The Maui Fu

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hen most people think of a plan, they probably imagine a one-sheet, perhaps with a clear and unambiguous map or schematic attached. Weighing in at 342 pages, with detailed maps, photos, graphs, tables, charts and appendices and nearly impenetrable text, the Maui Island Plan is something altogether different. Put simply, the plan is a thorough look at the future of Maui over the next generation. In discussion and development since 2006, the plan holds great promise for those who want to see rational and equitable development on an island marked by tremendous land use contrasts. “One particular facet of Maui was prioritized by nearly everyone who participated in our community meetings,” states the plan’s Executive Summary, drafted in December, 2009. “[T]he desire to maintain MAUITIME: We can’t believe the County Council’s General Plan Committee is finally going to start breaking new ground, so to speak, on the plan. LUCIENNE DE NAIE: The people who went to the GPAC meetings, the Planning Commission meetings–I think they’re wondering why it isn’t done yet. MT: Do you have a sense that things are going well? DE NAIE: It’s good they’re finally getting near the end, but will people even know what’s happening? You know, there were 40 pages of names of the people who testified at GPAC on this. Our meetings were on evenings and weekends. But the council meets during the day, and only really gets developers and their representatives to attend. It’s disappointing to those of us who were on GPAC. MT: Why is it important that we do the Maui Island Plan? DE NAIE: The state mandates that we do a general plan. If it’s done right, it will be something that will guide the people in the Planning Department. And they’ve told me that they want guidance. The document will say, these are our priorities. If you want to change them later, you have to amend the plan.

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FEBRUARY 2, 2012

i W m o r P e h T t n a l P Abou Island

ro a t a n g i yP n o h t n By A

the small towns and open countryside that is such a large part of who and what Maui is, while at the same time providing vibrant urban areas that will provide an equally positive quality of life for those who make their lives in our larger towns.” As has been well reported in the Maui News, the Maui Island Plan is also years behind schedule. After countless public hearings and discussions of the plan by both the General Plan Advisory Committee (GPAC) and the Maui Planning Commission, it stalled in the Maui County Council’s General Plan Committee. The council elected

in 2008 took up the Maui Island Plan, but only got as far as Chapter 7 before their terms expired. Incoming General Plan Committee Chairwoman Gladys Baisa (her predecessor, Sol Kaho‘ohalahala, was turned out of office in 2010) decided to start over. As a result, the council’s General Plan Committee has finally stopped covering old ground (though as you’ll see below, that doesn’t mean the plan’s text hasn’t changed in disturbing ways). On Feb. 2, the committee begins examining the sure-to-be controversial Chapter 8–“Directed Growth Plan.” It’s the plan’s most regulatory section, which includes 10 maps showing proposed “urban growth boundaries” that will make explicit where land developers can build. Future hearings will take up the proposed boundaries of each of the island’s regions in turn. To get a handle on such an intimidating planning document–and an explanation as to why the Maui Island Plan is so important–we spoke with GPAC member Lucienne de Naie. De Naie and the rest of GPAC became intimately familiar with the Maui Island Plan’s evolution. You know, there are some very innovative ideas, especially in the economic section. Things like, if we’re importing something, can we look at maybe creating it here? We may not be able to, but at least we have it as a goal. I did a little talk at the Rotary Club, and I read some of the text from the economic section. I was mobbed by people. “Great ideas!” they said. “That would really help!” I think they were shocked that there was more to the plan than just bringing more tourists here. Which we can’t really do any more than we’re already doing. MT: Why is that? DE NAIE: Because one out of every three people on Maui right now is a tourist. One third of the island’s population at any given time is tourist. On Kauai, it’s more like one out of nine. MT: How have you seen the plan evolve? DE NAIE: I’ve watched the council soften the language. Councilmembers Sol [Kahoohalahala] and Wayne [Nishiki] made a lot of substantial stands to keep language that had been vetted by the public process. There was also a push to keep the plan more general, saying that specifics should be reserved for the commu-

nity plans, which are still eight years away. MT: Actually, that’s a lot. Let’s start with the language part. What do you mean by “soften?” DE NAIE: I mean water down the language. Watery language gives no guidance to the Planning Department. For instance, changing the word “require” to “encourage,” as in “encourage buildings to be resilient against natural catastrophes.” Encourage? What does that mean? There’s no protocol for the Planning Department to “encourage” someone. Some things should be required. “Encourage” just isn’t the right word when it comes to, say, wetlands. There’s also no definition for “encourage” in the plan [the Glossary section of the Maui Island Plan doesn’t actually appear in the document posted on the County of Maui’s website for the general public]. MT: And you see that happening a lot in the plan? DE NAIE: “Encourage,” “consider,” “suggest”– when you use words like that, planners wonder if it’s even worth their while to bring these things up. There was an earlier provision to prohibit gated communities. People thought they just didn’t fit into Maui life, and we put in language to prohibit them. That’s been changed to “consider regulating” gated communities. MT: What’s the danger here? DE NAIE: Confusion. When you have plans with clear language, it’s easier to make decisions. Some people don’t like that because clear language can limit decisions. Clear language can be restrictive. But clear language protects the commons. Many of us old-timers aren’t ready to relinquish that concept. But fuzzy language also hurts pri-

vate property. For years, people have tried to get developers to provide notifications to neighbors when they build ag subdivisions of more than four lots. It makes to give notice to these people, because they know the rain and traffic patterns and so forth. And giving notice isn’t expensive, either: it costs, what, $100 for a sign? But the language in the plan requiring developers to give notice has been watered down. It’s not gone, but it’s watered down. The plan now says developers should “consider” giving notice. That’s not the same thing as requiring them. MT: Ok, now let me play Devil’s advocate. Why shouldn’t specifics like those be reserved for community plans? DE NAIE: Well, some of what they’re planning spans two community plan districts. For instance, people on the North Shore want a regional park. Part of that is in the Wailuku plan, part of that is in the Paia plan. If you want to talk about a bike path there, then you have to include the Makawao plan. Same thing for the Upcountry road: some of it is Upcountry, some is in Kihei. We need a regional approach. MT: Alright. The County Council’s General Plan

Committee is finally at the point where they’ll discuss “urban growth boundaries” for the first time. What are these? DE NAIE: They were developed in the last 15, 20 years as part of “New Urbanism.” This process gives a rough sketch of Maui development. Then, within these lines, what do people want? People could build outside the boundaries, there would have to be huge public demand first. Yes, I understand that it costs a lot to bring development on line. Maui’s infrastructure is old and outdated. As I like to say, we’re building a resort economy on plantation infrastructure.

MT: So the growth boundaries will come up for discussion on Feb. 2? DE NAIE: No. The Feb. 2 meeting will not disMaui County cuss any maps. That will Council General begin Feb. 16 after [planPlan Committee ning director] Will Spenbegins discussion of ce submits his maps! on Thursday, Feb. 2 Also, it’s really disturbing that a plan which up at 1:30pm until last week had sevin the Council Chamber. eral categories of growth Call 808-270-7838 boundaries now has just for more information. two: Urban and Rural. One size does The Maui Island Plan Obviously, not fit all of our diverse is available online at communities. www.co.maui.hi.us/index. But six days before aspx?NID=1120 the meeting the public You can also see Maui found out about this radiTomorrow’s extensive writings cal change to language, on the Maui Island Plan at which had broad supmaui-tomorrow.org/?cat=52 port from community

testimony was reviewed and adopted by GPAC and the Maui Planning Commission and was supported by two planning directors and county planning staff. Now on a week’s notice, with the public mostly unaware, it’s all proposed to change! MT: Well, that’s depressing. Has something like this ever been tried elsewhere? DE NAIE: Kauai did a whole community plan, but they didn’t make it enforceable. So it sits on the shelf now. We want to have a living document. We want innovative thinking. MT: Like the possibility of making or growing things here that we currently import. DE NAIE: Yes. Cluster development is another idea. Currently, agriculture land is divided into two-acre lots. Instead of doing that, cluster development lets the developer cluster all the housing in one section and then allows the open space to radiate outwards. It offers more flexibility–slicing and dicing ag land isn’t always the best way to keep the characteristics of the land. Cluster development is a tool if you want to support it. MT: Sounds like, on the whole though, you’re pretty pessimistic about where the Maui Island Plan is going. DE NAIE: There’s a lot at stake. A lot of good people with good ideas have gone into this, and in the end, some good stuff will survive. Really, I’m excited about the potential to dream a new future, dream a new economy. ■ anthoney@mauitime.com + apignataro To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1533L

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Pizza By The Bay Pacific Whale Foundation opens Porto in Maalaea BY JEN RUSSO Their artisan flame fired pizzas are the shining glory of their menu. Kilgore says they use au300 Maalaea Rd. , thentic semolina flour ground in Wailuku, Hawaii 96793 an Oahu mill and make everything from the focaccia to the Phone: (808) 856-8337 breadcrumbs in their meatballs aalaea is a tiny port town that serves from scratch. She told me she the South Shore, but it’s growing. tweaked the pizza dough recipe Harbor improvements, and desti- 22 times to get it to the perfect nations like the Maui Ocean Cen- crispy-on-the-bottom-but-stillchewy consistency she wanted. ter, the Maui Golf and Sports Park and the Maalaea Harbor Shops are part of the area’s life Their handmade pomodoro sauce is created with organic toblood. One of the newest additions to the Maalaea dining L to R Michael Gams, Matt Rymer, Meagan Kilgore, and Keenan Stuart scene is Porto (“port” in Italian). Porto takes up the old matoes, which provide the best flavor. Kilgore says she chooses Juca spot, which has been vacant for around a year or so. PHOTOS BY SEAN MICHAEL HOWER The restaurant is the beginning of a food and drink local organic farmed goods as much as she can. venture by Pacific Whale Foundation, which hopes to use salad is the perfect compromise with roasted beets rest“The restaurant lets us showcase the taste ing on Kula greens and then dribbled with an exquisite and flavor advantages of buying locally procitrus oil and gourmet goat cheese. duced and locally grown ingredients,” says Kilgore is a trained pastry chef and the dessert menu Kaufman. “We also want to support local reflects her love for fine baked goods. Housemade Kula agriculture, because we believe that ‘grown strawberry shortcake, Tiramisu cupcake and Italian mehere’ is a much smarter choice than ‘flown ringue and fruits are a find on the back of the menu. Porhere’ from a carbon footprint perspective, to also offers bruschetta, antipasti, panini and soup. To and from the perspective of encouraging food round out Italian eating traditions, they serve Maui Oma security and sustainability on our island. We roasted coffee, fine espresso and cappuccino. believe that local, well-managed farming re“I wouldn’t be here without my great staff,” says sults in less runoff, less watershed pollution Kilgore. “I put together a terrific team and I strive to and a healthier ocean. Our support of local inspire and motivate them everyday. We make our own agriculture garnered us the Hero of Agrisauce with organic tomatoes, make our own sausage culture, Food and Environment Award; “An and use hormone free meats. We are focused on what is Environmental Supporter Who Does Their healthy for the planet and our customers.” ■ Work with Excellence” at the 2010 Hawaii jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso Agriculture Conference in Honolulu.” The pies are hand-shaped and served on a For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: big wooden paddle. The Kalua Pig and Pinemauidish.com apple is a twist on the ham and pineapple Roasted Beet Salad staple, but it works better that its predecesTo share or save this article, type: sor. Kilgore uses Duroc pork shoulder, rubs mt.hy.pr/1533d1 it with her special blend of spices and then roasts it overnight with herbed sachets, using the Porto to support their other boating and retail operations. residual heat of their copper So far no restaurant had been successful there, but in orclad Woodstone open fire oven, der for PWF to get the lease there had to be a front of the which saves energy. The fresh house operation for the shopping center. Maui pineapples have a bright “We’ve been looking at establishing our own in-house catering for years, as a prudent business move and as a juicy acidity that balances niceway to ‘vote with our dollars,’” says Greg Kaufman, presi- ly with the rich roasted pork dent of Pacific Whale Foundation. “We want to support doused with cheese. The sprinlocal agriculture, choose the most eco-friendly products kling of fresh herbs on top brings the whole pizza together. and choose sustainable seafood. Our own in-house caterThe Olivia pizza is glazed with ing operation makes that more achievable. We didn’t set out to be in the restaurant business, but it became an out- garlic béchamel before it’s blanketed with mozzarella and pargrowth of our catering operation.” mesan and sprinkled with briny They did some market research and found that Maalaea needed pizza. Oregonian Chef Meagan Kilgore was kalamata and green olives. This pie was reminiscent of my love hired in May of 2011 to form the teams that head their Ola Catering operation and Porto, but she was already for anchovy pizza: it had that salty/briny payoff, but delivered familiar with Maui, having done her formal training at in a more elegant fashion. the Maui Culinary Academy straight out of high school. The salads are a testament After graduating, she headed back to the mainland and to the fresh organic bounty of did some time as a chef at Nike World Headquarters, a produce, though their fire oven Chef Meagan Kilgore country club and a beer and wine pub, but couldn’t resist makes it hard to avoid choosthe opportunity to return to Maui. ing something roasted. The beet

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Ground Hog Day This week, you’ve got a pass to pig out BY ANU YAGI

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hee hoo–Ground Hog Days are here again, bu! Gotta love one holiday wea–according to ancient supahstitions–if you eat plene kine ono pork grinds on Feb. 2, da winter surf going las’ six weeks longah. Plus, your team going win da Super Bowl. Guarans ball bearin’s, brah! So in honor of dese events (but really, jus’ one excuse fo’ ham it up), dis little piggy’s penned-up some tasty info jus’ fo you. Enjoy!

Translation: Friends, rejoice! With this weekend sandwiched between Groundhog Day and the Super Bowl, I’d say The Man’s giving us license to party n’ pig out. (No worries, the six percent of Americans who call in sick on Super Bowl Monday have got our backs.) But let’s have a little foodie fun with the folklore (I’m sure Pennsylvania’s Germans won’t mind), seeing as the closest thing Hawaii’s got to marmots are mongoose–and if winter lasts longer, mo’ bettah. Hey, we’ll make any excuse to exalt good grinds...

TOP TEN HEAVENLY PLACES TO PORK IN PARADISE 10. BROKE DA MOUTH: DA KITCHEN (Triangle Square, 425 Koloa St., Kahului; 871-7782; da-kitchen.com). Kalua pork plate lunch with side salad and scoop rice ($12.49)

9. SO SMOKIN’ IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL: FAT DADDY’S (1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 879-8711; fatdaddysmaui.com). Smoked pork spareribs ($25 full rack / $14 half rack)

7. AIN’T NOTHING LIKE THE REAL THING: MAIN STREET BISTRO (2051 Main St., Wailuku; 244-6816; msbmaui.com). Lightly smoked roasted pork loin with pork gravy risotto ($15)

5. HAWAIIAN STYLE HAM: OLD LAHAINA LUAU (1251 Front. St., 1-800-248-5828; oldlahainaluau. com). Kalua pua’a is the centerpiece of their huge buffet menu, alongside all the essential local fixins like lomi lomi salmon, pahole (fern) salad, ahi poke, poi and haupia ($98 general / $68 kama’aina)

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE (355 E. Kamehameha Ave.; 877-9011; alehouse.net). Three kalua pork sliders on toasted buns with tropical slaw and BBQ sauce ($7.95)

6. TREAT YOURSELF: MONKEYPOD KITCHEN (Wailea Gateway, 10 Gateway Pl.; 891-2322; monkeypodkitchen.com). Bulgogi pork tacos with pickled carrots, handcrafted kim chee, jalapeno and Asian pear aioli ($14.95)

4. NOW WOULDN’T YOU, BORICUA: DA PUERTO RICAN FOOD TRUCK MAUI (“bright white truck with the silver back driving around the island”; dapuertoricanfoodtruck.com / @ daPRFT on Twitter). Pulled “boricua” pork marinated in traditional herbs and spices with rice and beans or arroz con gandules ($8.95)

2. OUT OF THIS WORLD: STAR NOODLE (286 Kupuohi St., Lahaina; 667-5400; starnoodle.com). Steamed pressed pork buns with hoisin, shiitake and cucumber ($10)

8. BOAR SNACKS:

3. OH-SO ONO: SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE (1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 874-6444; southshoretikilounge.com). BBQ kalua sandwich with fries, side salad, coleslaw or rice ($10)

1. NUMBER ONE: ICHIBAN RESTAURANT AND SUSHI BAR (47 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului; 871-6977). Tonkatsu with rice and miso soup ($Market)

PIGSKIN PAGEANTRY THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT FOOTBALL THAT MAKES U.S. HUNGRY Move over baby Jesus and the American Revolution–Thanksgiving’s the only food consumption event that tops Super Bowl Sunday. Last year the big game had more than 111 million viewers (an all-time record, reported by The Nielsen Company), which means about 43 percent of our countrymen tuned in–and chowed down. AS FOR THE OTHER WHITE MEAT We live on a planet where the National Chicken Council’s 2012 Wing Report is a real thing–and it projects that Americans will eat 1.25 billion wings (totaling 100 million pounds of wings) on Super Bowl Sunday, saying, “If the wings were laid end-to-end they would circle the circumference of the Earth more than twice–a distance that would reach approximately a quarter of the way to the moon.” ANOTHER KIND OF CONSUMPTION The National Retail Federation (NRF) recently released results from its 2012 Super Bowl Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey (conducted by BIGinsight, Jan. 4-11 with “a margin of error plus or minus 1.0 percent”), which projects that Americans will spend $11 billion on Super Bowl-related stuff. The NRF’s senior vice president, Mike Gatti (in an audio interview with MarketWatch. com) says this $11 billion figure includes TVs, home furnishings, team apparel and trinkets “like football shaped ashtrays.”

PS (PORKSCRIPT) PORK THIS IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT Got the munchies? Bacon flavored rolling papers ($2) are available at Maui’s only record store, Requests (10 N. Market St., Wailuku; 244-9315; requestshawaii.com) ■ anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi

For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1533d2

FEBRUARY 2, 2012

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THE

E U S S i N O FASHi

From skimpy bathing suits to flowing dresses and everything in-between Maui is a haven for casual yet chic fashion. Our annual ode to garments looks at the hottest trends and the local shops where you can find them.

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This Week's Picks

DIVERSIONS, DALLIANCES & DATES BY ANU YAGI

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 2 ECSTATIC DANCE MAUI – If you’re sick of the socializing n’ drinking drama of the conventional dance scene–and a la Alison Jiear you “don’t give a fuck no more... [and] just wanna dance”–check out DJ Nadi’s new Ecstatic Dance Maui series. The event kicks off this Thu. and is slated to continue every Thu. henceforth. Nadi’s a ten-year vet of the Maui DJ scene who has an eclectic, “borderless” style, and he describes this “dance santuary” as a DJ-led “playground for dancers to move and express in a drug-and alcohol-free environment,” where individual’s boundaries are respected on a talk-free floor. $10 (though no one will be turned away for lack of funds). 8:30-10:30pm. Community Hall, Makawao Union Church (1445 Baldwin Ave.); 557-7167; facebook.com/pages/Ecstatic-DanceMaui / soundcloud.com/nadimusic

OUR BEATS ARE BROKEN, A SOURCE FUNDRAISER – An evening of breakbeats and drum n’ bass with Keegan House, Aaron Jae and IMAT. Keegan House is a seasoned producer and promoter who’s “most known for his whompy and funky monster electro house sets” and is a veteran organizer for Source Maui. Aaron Jae is a former San Francisco-based breaks DJ who co-founded “Evil Breaks” in 2004 and earned “worldwide recognition as one of the largest and most respected breaks promoters on the West Coast.” Meanwhile, IMAT “brings you to the liquid side of drum and bass” and boasts a two year residency at the Minneapolis Bolt: Underground “prior to his exodus into the Pacific.” Also, The Amazing Dr. Mills will be on hand “demonstrating self-decapitation and visual deformities since birth... Come watch him lose his head!” PS: The earlier you show up, the earlier the show starts. And, the longer you stay, the longer they play! For mini-bios about the artists, visit mauivents.com. $5. 9:30pm. Casanova (1188 Makwao Ave., Makawao); 5720220; soundcloud.com/keegan-house / fromthefloor.net / aaronjae.com / soundcloud.com/humtech / randymills.me PHOTO BY JEANE MCMAHON

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY Y3 WE LOVE WAILUKU FIRST FRIDAY AY – y– The isle’s biggest, baddest block party– alk where Market Street’s replete with sidewalk e vendors and performers–kicks-off the month of February with a lovey dovey “II Heart Wailuku” theme. Pins boasting yourr or adoration of the town will be on sale for ku $1, with proceeds benefitting Wailuku he First Friday events. Highlights include the nd jazz band Slam (featuring David Choy and age, Clay Mortensen) at the Maui Thing mainstage, groovy downtempo beats by Paul Gotel at Body Alive’s monthly Exhale! party, and a free screening (and sing-along) of Grease at the historic ‘Iao Theater. See our Da Kine Calendar for more details. mauifridays.com / facebook.com/wailukufirstfriday

ISLAND FEVER: AN EXOTIC VOODOO DADDY TRICKY SISTA FREAK OUT! – This “jungle get-down” had me with its call to dress-up in costumes that are “swanky, sexy, exotic, tribal, loungy, jet-setting or Tiki-esque,” for a posh theme party where “delectable island cocktails are served from three bars; [plus] two rooms of music.” But I was doubly sold by the fact that it’s a fundraiser for Camp Exotica’s new BSOS Radio, a low power FM station (where “show hosts and DJs can share their talents, all of which will be broadcast as far as legal limits allow”–set to launch at this year’s Source Interactive Arts Festival, Feb. 1720). Tonight’s “sassy exotica” is hosted by Cudra Clover, with “bone-rattling beats on the dance floor” by DJs Trip, Toben and Tony K. PS: “lounge lizards, shriners, pin-ups and go-go girls are welcome!” $10 cover / $5 with costume. 9pm-2am. David Paul’s Island Grill (900 Front St., Lahaina); bsosradio.org

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 4 SWING MAUI DANCE – Everyone knows it don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing. If swing’s your thing, check out Mitch Kepa and the Louise Lambert Trio, this Sat. $15. 8pm-12am. Kihei Charter High School (300 Ohukai Rd. #C20); louiselambert.com

GIVE IT UP FOR GAVINCHI – Jamaica’s own Gavin “Gavinchi” Brown hails from er is Jamaia hip musical pedigree (his mom is 1980s artist Shirley McLean, his father oots & The can radio personality Owen “O.B.” Brown, and his cousin is Toots from Toots ve when he Maytals). He began showing his own musical prowess as early as age five began playing drums at a semi-professional level for the Jamaica Schooll of Music. obetrotting A self-proclaimed “one drop-preneur,” this reggae sensation has been globetrotting ry–backed nonstop to promote his work, and this Sat. returns to Maui to gig Upcountry–backed by Rootz N Creation with opening acts Haley and Teomon–ahead of an expansive West Coast tour. $15. 10pm. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 572-0220; gavinchi.com / pandora.com/music/artist/gavinchi+brown

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 5 SUPER BOWL XLVI: NEW YORK GIANTS VS. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS – Hey, just because you’re a misanthrope doesn’t mean you can’t love football (you know, for the injuries). However, it does mean that you won’t be watching the Super Bowl with icky family n’ friends in the comfort of a home or favorite watering hole. So instead, plant yourself in front of the wall of TVs at Sears or Kmart, with a beach chair from the lawn and garden department, a garish Snuggie and a shopping cart full of snacks. When management asks if you’re going to pay for that, tell ‘em you heard that the Sears Holdings Corporation recently announced it’s closing upwards of 120 underperforming stores and you’re simply helping with liquidation... Then again, if you love your peeps as much as you love pigskin, have fun at a bar near you.

SNATAM KAUR SACRED CHANT CONCERT – This Sun., Snatam Kaur, one of the most popular new age artists of our time, makes her Maui debut. Her ultra-sweet style of devotional kirtan has captivated fans across the globe, and even the venerable Ram Dass raves, “in Snatam’s voice... there is purity, clarity and love.” The name “Snatam” means “universal” while “Kaur” means “princess” (the latter’s a name had by all female followers of Sikhism, a religion that aims to embody the qualities of Sant-Sipahie, a saint-soldier); and indeed her music–as if acoustic pop melodies were stretched into 10 minute lullabies while played to bouncing tabla–is as ultra-accessible as it is refreshingly, femininely tender. $25 advance / $30 door. 7pm. Makawao Union Church (1445 Baldwin Ave.); 579-6480; spiritvoyage.com

TUESDAY, TU T U UESDAY, FEBRU FEBRUARY 7 MARTHA GRAHAM DANCE COMPANY – The oldest dance company in America, Martha Graham Dance Company has been a leader in contemporary dance since 1926. In this show, a montage of Graham’s work is presented, entwined with a fascinating historical narrative. $12 / $42 / $55. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 8 PREMIER SCREENING OF YOGAWOMAN – The doco Yogawoman, narrated by Annette Benning, travels to nine nations to show how “a new generation of dynamic female teachers, including Patricia Walden [and] Seane Corn [are] replacing the formerly dominant, rigid style of yoga with a distinctly feminine practice.” The premier is a fundraiser for Women Helping Women, and features a complimentary yoga class with Gabriella Bengis (6-7pm), prior to the screening. $20 single ticket / $64 four pass pack. 7:30pm. (Running time: 84 min.) Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org / mauifilmfestival.com

FEBRUARY 2, 2012

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PICKS

It is what it is.

Whale Tales

Fri. and Sat., Feb. 3 & 4. Free (though a $20 suggested donation will be gratefully accepted). 3-5pm (Fri.) / 10am-5pm (Sat.). The RitzCarlton Kapalua (One Kapalua Dr.); 572-5700; whaletrust.org “I flew out here on Southwest Airlines. Southwest has a plane that’s painted like Shamu the whale from Sea World. Yeah, that’ll be easy to find if that went down in the ocean. That’ll be nice, when you’re trying to get out and a real whale’s humping your window.” -Robert Schimmel

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bviously it wasn’t always this way, but beyond death and taxes, there’s a new law to life: humans heart whales. This is especially so for those living in Hawaii, where migrating humpbacks are a hallmark to our winter season, and bring with them both joyful intrigue and tourist dollars. If your fascination of these denizens of the deep is as strong as your affections, check out the Whale Trusts’ new Whale Tales educational event, this Fri. and Sat. at the Ritz-Carlton Kapalua. Whale Trust is “a local nonprofit organization whose mission is to promote, support and conduct scientific research on whales and the marine environment, and broadly communicate their findings,” and their new Whale Tales event is “an outgrowth of Whale Quest Kapalua which was held successfully from 2006-2009 and in 2011.” The event was created to “provide whale enthusiasts an opportunity to learn about whales and the ocean environment from world-renowned scientists, photographers and filmmakers from around the world.” Flip Nicklin is the program’s first presenter (Fri., 3-4:15pm), and presents a lecture called “Among Giants: A Life with Whales.” Nicklin is the co-founder of Whale Trust and world-renowned underwater photographer who’s spent his 30-year career specializing in the photography of marine mammals. Nicklin’s presentation is followed by Mark Ferrari (Fri., 4:30-5:15pm), the founder and director of The Center for Whale Studies (which this year celebrates their 38th consecutive year of continuous research conducted off West Maui in the Auau Channel), who will discuss “A Brief Look at the 2010-2011 Field Seasons.” Saturday’s program begins with Dr. Jim Darling (10-10:20am), co-founder of the Whale Trust, who’s lecture’s titled “Gray Whales, Genetics, Behavior and Morocco.” Dr. Darling’s “primary studies include long-term investigations of behavior and ecology of gray whales in British Columbia, and humpback whales throughout the North Pacific.” Then Ed Lyman (10:30-10:50am), the ma-

rine mammal response manager for the Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary then discusses “Unravelling the Entanglement Threat for Hawaii’s Humpback Whales.” Lyman is followed by Craig Matkin (1111:45am), an independent marine biologist and founding director of the North Gulf Oceanic Society, who will speak about “Chewing the Fat: Killer Whale Predation on Baleen Whales.” Rounding out the early afternoon (following lunch and a book signing session with Nicklin and Dr. Darling), Dr. Dan Salden (2-2:45pm) with “The Mysterious Sex Life of the Humpback Male.” Dr. Salden is co-founder of the Hawaii Whale Research Foundation, and his work has focused on attempting to discover “long-term social affiliation patterns” in the winter breeding/calving grounds of Hawaii.” Finally, Dr. Bruce Mate (3-3:45pm) presents “OMC, Whales ‘twitter’ their BFF.” Dr. Mate is a professor at Oregon State University and director of the school’s Marine Mammal Program. “A leader in the development of satellite-monitored radio telemetry for marine mammals,” Dr. Mate has “tagged and tracked manatees, pilot whales, bottlenose dolphins, white-sided dolphins, gray whales, right whales, bowhead whales, humpback whales, sperm whales, fin whales and blue whales.” Also throughout the event, naturalists from Jean-Michel Cousteau’s Ambassadors of the Environment program will present complimentary activities for keiki five-to 12-years-old. And you can’t help but heart the fact that the two-day Whale Tale event is free and open to the public, though a $20 suggested donation will be gratefully accepted. All proceeds benefit the Whale Trust, Hawaii Whale Research Foundation and Center for Whale Studies–three local nonprofit organizations dedicated to whale research. Want more? Participate in one of the Whale Trusts’ benefit whale watches this weekend, featuring Whale Tales’ guest presenters. Sponsored by Trilogy Excursions, Lahaina Cruise Company, Capt. Steve’s Rafting, Maui Adventure Cruises, Ocean Rafting and Ultimate Rafting, whale watch packages include $45 for a single excursion, $115 for a day pass (which includes all three Sun. excursions), $160 for a two-day pass (which includes all four excursions on Sat. and Sun.), and $150 for a special sunset excursion which includes pupus and cocktails ($100 of which is taxdeductible). Because limited seats are available, reservations are required (572-5700). Sat., Feb. 4 with Mark Ferrari, 7:30-9:30am. Sun., Feb. 5 with Flip Nicklin, 7:30-9:30am. Sun., Feb. 5 with Bruce Mate, 10am-12pm. Sun., Feb. 5 with Jim Darling, 1-3pm. Mon., Feb. 6 with Dan Salden, 7:30-9:30am. Mon., Feb 6 with special guests, 4-6pm. ■ anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1533p1

PICKS

REQUESTS BY KEO EATON

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BLUES SPIRIT OF MAUI

8 out of

MONDAYS 8:00PM

11

SKRILLEX Bangarang (Big Beat, Atlantic; 2012) ALL THE SIGNS ARE THERE: my heart’s pounding, palms are sweating, I’m rhythmically fidgeting. I’ve got an obvious crush– and it’s on Skrillex’s newest EP Bangarang (first released online Dec. 27, 2011, then on physical CD Jan. 24, 2012). Self-described as “a mix of dub-step, electro and glitch all thrown together,” Bangarang is auricular proof that the American electronic music producer known as Skrillex (who, notably, is nominated for five Grammy awards this year) refuses to be bound by the limitations of genre. If you’re like me, the closest you’ve ever been to being a dub-step/ electro fan is unconsciously bobbing your head to the mysterious beats booming from the hula-hooped ambiance of Sundays at Paia’s Baldwin Beach Cove; and so know little to nothing of the man crowned MTV’s EDM (Electro Dance Music) 2011 Artist of the Year. If that’s the case, prepare to hear sounds you’ve never heard before by doing yourself the favor of introducing your ears to the face-grinding drops, thump-worthy mixes and smooth electro-transitions on

ALL AGES NO COVER Bangarang. Distinct in their own right, each track transitions into myriad rhythms and drops–though the composition as a whole, meanwhile, is cohesive. Songs like “Summitt” (feat. Ellie Goulding) follow the signature mixer sounds of Skirllex’s earlier club hits like his anthemic mixes of Avicii’s “Levels” and Benny Bannassi’s “Cinema.” Skrillex continues to prove he’s a true innovator, experimenting with the creation of new sounds and producing freshly mixed compositions that form a new flavor of music. His versatility is perhaps most evident in Bangarang’s surprise bonus track, fittingly named “Orchestral Suite.” It’s a luxurious and staggeringly beautiful scoreesque song that’s sure to please even mellow-minded classical lovers (and is bound to make anyone feel a little like they’re in a Disney movie). So even if you’re not into the banging tracks that otherwise fill the album, “Orchestral Suite” will leave you with a warm, fuzzy–albeit dramatically crushing– feeling. If only for its sheer musical intrigue, I recommend giving Bangarang a whirl. All albums reviewed in this space are available at Maui’s only record store, Requests (10 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-9315)

Wake up with Shaggy & Big C

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CALENDAR

Da Kine Calendar BY ANU YAGI

BIG SHOWS FRED PAYNE IN CONCERT – Thu., Feb. 2. Freda Payne’s recorded 21 albums (and counting), and worked with the likes of Quincy Jones, Pearl Bailey and Bill Cosby. Opening the show are local Sheryl Renee and Mauis own Clay Mortensen, who will present classic duets. Plus, before the show in the courtyard, enjoy a gospel choir tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Presented by the 2012 Maui Invitational Music Festival. $30. 6:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org A MUSICAL TRIBUTE TO DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. FEATURING VOCALIST SHERYL RENEE - In celebration of Black History Month, vocalist Sheryl Renee and friends return to Maui to perform jazz and pop instumentals in a musical tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., accompanied by Brian Cuomo on piano. Part of the 2012 Maui Inviational Music Festival. Complimentary admission (cabaret seating in the Anuenue Room with food and beverage available for purchase). 5:30pm. The Ritz-Carlton Kapalua (One Ritz-Carlton Dr.); 669-6200; aecg.org OUR BEATS ARE BROKEN, A SOURCE FUNDRAISER – Thu., Feb. 2. An evening of breakbeats and drum n’ bass with Keegan House, Aaron Jae and IMAT. See This Week’s Picks for more. $5. 9:30pm. Casanova (1188 Makwao Ave., Makawao); 572-0220; soundcloud.com/keegan-house / fromthefloor.net / aaronjae.com / soundcloud.com/humtech / randymills.me ISLAND FEVER: AN EXOTIC VOODOO DADDY TRICKY SISTA FREAK OUT! – Fri., Feb. 3. A posh “jungle get-down” and benefit for Camp Exotica’s new BSOS Radio station. See This Week’s Picks for more. $10 (or $5 with costume). 9pm-2am. David Paul’s Island Grill (900 Front St., Lahaina); bsosradio.org MYSTIC ISLAND FESTIVAL AFTER PARTY – Fri., Feb. 3. Whether you’re still buzzing after last weekend’s fifth annual Mystic Island Festival–or are kicking yourself for having missed out on the fun–check out Casanova this Fri. Headliners Chris Berry (Panjea), Michael Kang (String Cheese Incident) and David Starfire will be on hand, bringing you Bali bass dance music. $20. 10pm. Casanova (1188 Makwao Ave.); 572-0220 GAVINCHI – Sat., Feb. 4. Jamaica’s own Gavin “Gavinchi” Brown has been globetrotting nonstop to promote his work, and this Sat. returns to Maui to gig Upcountry. See This Week’s Picks for more. $15. 10pm. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 572-0220; gavinchi.com / pandora.com/music/artist/ gavinchi+brown

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FEBRUARY 2, 2012

SNATAM KAUR SACRED CHANT CONCERT – Sun., Feb. 5, Snatam Kaur, one of the most popular new age artists of our time, makes her Maui debut. See This Week’s Picks for more. $25 advance / $30 door. 7pm. Makawao Union Church (1445 Baldwin Ave.); 579-6480; spiritvoyage.com PREMIER SCREENING OF “YOGAWOMAN” – Wed., Feb. 8. A fundraiser for Women Helping Women. Features a complimentary yoga class with Gabriella Bengis (6-7pm), prior to the screening. See This Week’s Picks for more. $20 single ticket / $64 four pass pack. 7:30pm. (Running time: 84 min.) Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org / mauifilmfestival.com

MASTERS SERIES FEATURING LEDWARD KA’APANA - Thu., Feb. 9. Each month, cooler-than-cool Uncle George Kahumoku hosts this winning series by opening with his candid storytelling and musical prowess. This month’s show features a “grand master” Hawaiian slack-key guitar, Ledward Ka’apana. $25 standard / $45 VIP (includes postshow talk story session with performers). 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

lui). 6pm doors / 7pm show. $40 advance / $45 door. Mulligan’s on the Blue (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 1-885-2-FLAVOR (352867); groovetickets.com

KEALI’I REICHEL & HALAU KE’ALAOKAMAILE PRESENT KUKAHI 2012 - Sat. & Sun., Feb. 11-12. This annual halau fundraiser is so gorgeously grand, they’ve gotta produce it on not one, but two nights. And we’ve got but two words to say: just go. $12 / $35 / $45 / $55. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

MAIZE HIRONO FOR HAWAII U.S. SENATE FUNDRAISER WITH PATRICK SIMMONS AND TOM CONWAY - Tue., Feb. 21. Because the very first rock concert Mazie Hirono attended featured the Doobie Brothers, Hirono’s invited the one and only Patrick Simmons to support the cause, alongside six string sensei, Tom Conway. And, it’s at the home of manager-to-the-stars, Shep Gordon! $2,500 chair / $1,000 host / $500 sponsor / $250 friend / $100 supporter. 6:30-8:30pm RSVP by contacting Josh Handelman at 927-9801 or josh@mazieforhawaii.com.

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING? CALENDAR LISTINGS

ON MAUITIME.COM

STAGE JUDY’S GANG IN “DANCE JEOPARDY” – Sat., Feb. 4. Play along with local dance troupe Judy’s Gang, with engaging “Jeopardy”-style questions throughout the show that help reveal fun information about their performances. Produced, directed and choreographed by Judy Ridolfino. $14 adults / $10 seniors / free for keiki 6-to 12-years old. 7pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org MARTHA GRAHAM DANCE COMPANY PRESENTS “PRELUDE AND REVOLT” – Tue., Feb. 7. The oldest dance company in America, Martha Graham Dance Company has been a leader in contemporary dance since 1926. See This Week’s Picks for more. $12 / $42 / $55. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

TICKETS ON SALE SZYMANOWSKI QUARTET - Thu., Feb. 9. An exceptional string quartet that’s earned top honors at the venues like the Osaka International Chamber Music Competition and the Melbourne International Chamber Music Competition. $12 / $30 / $40. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR.’S SLACK KEY

FOR THE LOVE OF MAUI 5K FUN RUN Tue., Feb. 14. A new Valley Isle Road Runner (VIRR) event, and benefit for The Kihei Youth Center and Hospice Maui. Residents and visitors alike are encouraged to participate. The course begins at Polo Beach (just South of the Fairmont Kea Lani) and runs South on Old Makena Rd., before turning left onto Wailea Alanui and back to Polo Beach, looping twice. Valentine’s Day-theme dress is encouraged. Race starts at 5pm (just before sunset). Runners receive event T-shirt. Medals for age divisions. Door prizes. $20 VIRR members (with pre-registration by Feb. 1) / $25 non-members (with pre-registration by Feb. 1) / $30 everyone (with registration Feb. 1 through Feb. 13) / $40 race-day registration (cannot guarantee T-shirt). Packet pick-up at Moneypod Kitchen Feb. 13, 4-6:30pm. SOURCE INTERACTION ARTS FESTIVAL – Fri., Feb 17 through Mon., Feb. 20. Think of your wildest, most colorful dream. Then multiply it by 50, shove it in a blender with everything tasty and serve it up to all the best friends you didn’t know you had yet. That’s, like, a fraction of what Source is like. Check it. sourcemaui.com Q103 PRESENTS THIRD WORLD - Sat., Feb. 18. Jamaica’s reggae ambassadors Third World return to Maui, with opening guests Paula Fuga and Mike Love. Tickets available online or at Ocean’s Bar & Grill (Kihei), Westside Vibes (Lahaina) and Bounty Music (Kahu-

HAWAII UNITE MUSIC FESTIVAL WITH THIRD WORLD - Sun., Feb. 19. Third World and a collective of local artists who contributed to the latest Mana Maoli CD project (including Paula Fuga, Mike Love, John Cruz, Lopaka Colon, Anuhea, Innavision and Kapali Keahi) present a concert festival that’s not-to-be-missed. $35 advance / $40 day-of. 4:30pm gates / 5pm show. Yokouchi Pavilion/A&B Amphitheater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

ANNOUNCEMENTS HAWAII HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS INVITED TO COMPETE IN NATIONAL POETRY RECITATION CONTEST - Honolulu Theatre for Youth (HTY) and the Hawaii State Foundation on Culture and the Arts invite high school students to compete in Poetry Out Loud: National Recitation Contest, presented in partnership with the National Endowment for the Arts and the Poetry Foundation. Schools are invited to participate in classroom and schoolwide contests, advancing to a Hawaii state competition on March 18 in Honolulu. The Hawaii state champion will receive $200 and an all-expenses-paid trip to Washington, DC, to compete for a $20,000 prize in the National Finals on May 14-15. To get involved, high school teachers should contact HTY at 839-9885 ext. 704 or e-mail edadmin@htyweb.org ART MAUI 2012 PROSPECTUS NOW ONLINE - Since its inception in 1979, Art Maui has grown to become one of the most prestigious juried art exhibitions in the state. The 34th Art Maui Exhibition is scheduled to open Sun., Mar. 25 at the MACC’s Schaefer International Gallery, with jurying (Mar. 16 & 17) by Thomas Kolobe, one of Art Maui’s founders. Interested in submitting your work? Check out the 2012 prospectus by visiting artmaui.com. Revised items include the return of installation work (written proposals due Mar. 1) and

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

2/2

2/3

2/4

2/5

2/6-2/8

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Clay Mortensen 5-9pm

Power Up Crew’s DJ Kollision + k.s.k. 10pm; no cover

Flashback Saturdays Dance Party w/ DJ Z 10pm; no cover

Super Bowl Sunday / Sunday Skool Nightclub w/ DJ JamnJ 10pm; no cover

MON - Open Mic Jam Sesh w/ hostess Teri Garrison, 8pm / TUE - Clay Mortensen, 5-9pm / WED - Teri Garrison 5-8pm; free karaoke w/ host Braddah Francis, 8pm (all sets no cover)

AMBROSIA

Jamie Gallo, 7pm / Old School Thursdays w/ guest DJ Skinny Guy, 10pm; no cover

Whatever You Want w/ DJ AstroRaph 10pm; no cover

Sunrise Saturdaze w/ DJ Decka 10pm; no cover

Super Bowl Sunday / Ultra w/ DJ CIA 10pm; no cover

MON - The Jonah Trio, 8pm / Ladies’ & ‘80s Night w/ DJ Skinny Guy, 10pm / TUE - Dirty House Tuesdays w/ DJ La Rage, 10pm / WED - Red Carpet Movie Night, 7:30pm; Maui’s HI-5 Night (S.I.N.) w/ DJs Del Sol & CIA, 10pm

Adam Masterson 7-9:30pm; no cover

Bob Jones 7-9:30pm; no cover

Live Music TBA 7-9:30pm; no cover

Super Bowl Sunday

WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7-9:30pm; no cover

CASANOVA

“Our Beats Are Broken” A Source Festival fundraiser feat. Keegan House, Aaron Jae, and IMAT 9:30pm; $5

Mystic Island Festival After Party w/ Chris Berry, Michael Kang & David Starfire 10pm; $20

Q103FM presents Gavinchi w/ Rootz N Creation plus Haley & Teomon 10pm; $15

CHARLEY’S

Wavetrain feat. Mark Johnstone & Friends 10pm; no cover

DJ CIA 10pm; $5

DJ NASnfx 10pm; $5

Super Bowl Sunday

Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30-10pm / TUE - Live Jazz, 7-10pm / WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm

Live Music & Pool Tourney 8-11pm; no cover

DJ Kamikaze 10pm; no cover

Lia Live & Friends 10pm; no cover

Super Bowl Sunday

MON - Gomega / TUE - Rampage / WED - Juke Box Party (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Quiz Night 8pm; no cover

Dance Party 10pm; no cover

Lawaia & Johnny Ringo 10pm; no cover

Sebrina Barron 5:30pm; no cover

MON – Glen Wong (of Maoli) / TUE - Junior Lacuesta / WED - Jessica & Kanoa (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Karaoke

Karoke

Karaoke

Super Bowl Sunday

MON through WED - Karaoke

Rampage 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Jah Residentz 9pm-close; no cover

Super Bowl Sunday / Karaoke Industry Night 8pm-close; no cover

MON - Karaoke, 8pm-close / TUE - Music videos w/ DJ H, 9pm-close / WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm-close (all sets no cover)

Indio & Avi 8-11pm; no cover

The Electric Surfers 8-11pm; no cover

The House Shakers 8-11pm; no cover

Closed for private Super Bowl Party

MON - Blues Spirit of Maui / TUE - Kenny Roberts / WED - Evan Schulman (all sets 8-11pm; no cover)

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0988

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

the reinstated annual High School Senior Art Scholarship Awards Program (portfolios due Mar. 15). (PS: Further, the annual Art Maui Symposium–this year’s topic being “Art of the Juror”–is slated for Jan. 14. See Tickets on Sale for more information.)

EVENTS

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 2 ECSTATIC DANCE MAUI – Every Thu. (beginning this Thu.), DJ Nadi leads a “dance sanctuary” where individual’s boundaries are respected on a talk-free floor. See This Week’s Picks for more. $10 (though no one will be turned away for lack of funds). 8:30-10:30pm. Community Hall, Makawao Union Church (1445 Baldwin Ave.); 557-7167; facebook. com/pages/Ecstatic-Dance-Maui / soundcloud.com/nadimusic WATCH “GROUNDHOG DAY” ON GROUNDHOG DAY! – Watch the misadventures of Puxatony Phil and Bill Murray in the classic flick “Groundhog Day” while sipping and snacking on late night happy hour specials. Free. 9:30pm. Maui Brewing Company (4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana); 669-3474; mauibrewingco.com

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 3 WHALE TRUSTS’ “WHALE TALES” EDUCATIONAL EVENT – Fri. and Sat., Feb. 3 & 4.

See This Week’s Picks for more. Free (though a $20 suggested donation will be gratefully accepted). 3-5pm (Fri.) / 10am-5pm (Sat.). The Ritz-Carlton Kapalua (One Kapalua Dr.); 5725700; whaletrust.org SIERRA NEVADA TAP PARTY – Join the Maui Brewing Company in tapping four very limited release beers from our pals in Chico, CA. The tapping party features prizes and giveaways from Sierra Nevada. No cover. 3pm tapping (served through 12am closing or until kegs are pau). Maui Brewing Company (4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana); 6693474; mauibrewingco. com

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/ DJ Blast & Chilltown Productions, 10pm; $10

REWAILUKU – Wanna remember, re-imagine and renew Wailuku? Take part in reWAILUKU’s unique, collaborative design effort by joining in on a series of hands-on desgin workshops to explore the collective creativity of the community. Feedback helps provide direction for private investment, new partnerships and capital improvement projects. You can check them out during Wailuku First Friday or on Mon., Feb. 6, 11am-6pm; Tue., Feb. 7, 11am6pm; and Wed., Feb. 8, 8am-10pm (walking audit with Dan Burden) and 11am-6pm. 2705517; rewailuku.com

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING? CALENDAR LISTINGS

ON MAUITIME.COM

WAILUKU FIRST FRIDAY – This is the town party that started it all! The jazz band Slam–featuring David Choy and Kelly Covington–plays the Maui Thing main stage; Bad Kitty plays at the Banyan Tree Park; Joel Katz plays Hawaiian steel guitar at 33 N. Market St.; Gene Argel & ‘Ohana play outside Cafe O’Lei; and Visibly Shaken plays outside Ginonatto’s at the Main Street Promenade. Read ahead (and see This Week’s Picks) for more. mauifridays.com / facebook.com/wailukufirstfriday

EXHALE! AT BODY ALIVE YOGA AND MOVEMENT STUDIO – Every month, part of Wailuku First Friday festivities, this hip yoga studio hosts a fab party. This month, enjoy “Vinyasa Flo” yoga with Bridget (4:45-5:45pm; discounted rate of $10), groovy downtempo beats by Paul Gotel, an exhibition of unique works by artist Doug Deboer, a sampling of tasty, healthy treats by Katie Kat, a selection of unique Indian treasures by Crystal Camel, and funky festival wear for sale by Fuzzywumba. Plus, enter their drawing for a free private yoga session. Free. 4:45-9pm. Body Alive Yoga &

WED - Karaoke

Movement Studio (upstairs, 1995 Main St., Wailuku); 359-1060; bodyaliveyoga.com FREE SCREENING & SING-ALONG: “GREASE” & LIVE FILMING OF A KIT KAT CLUB CABARET PERFORMANCE – The countdown to MauiOnstage’s production of the musical “Grease” starts at this Wailuku First Friday, preceded by a live taping of a 1950’s inspired performance by Kit Kat Club Cabaret. Audience members are encouraged to sing-along during the screening of the classic film version of “Grease.” Plus, costumed cast members from the upcoming play will be on hand, and discounted show tickets will be made available. Free. 6pm doors / 8pm show. Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 2426969; mauionstage.com SPCA MAUI’S 2ND ANNUAL EVENING FOR MAUI’S ANIMALS – An evening of humane education and camaraderie. Hear what’s new with Maui’s animal welfare groups and more about SPCA Maui. Free light pupus and no-host bar. 6-8pm. Elleair Ballroom, Maui Beach Hotel (170 W. Kaahumanu Ave.); 2800738; info@spcamaui.org

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 4 WHALE TRUSTS’ “WHALE TALES” EDUCATIONAL EVENT – Fri. and Sat., Feb. 3 & 4. See This Week’s Picks for more. Free (though a $20 suggested donation will be gratefully accepted). 3-5pm (Fri.) / 10am-5pm (Sat.). The Ritz-Carlton Kapalua (One Kapalua Dr.); 572-

FEBRUARY 2, 2012

21

Valentine Dinner at VOTED BEST HAPPY HOUR ON MAUI! 3 +)(%) 2$ s !- !- $!),9 s $)..%2 @4), 0-

THURS

FEB.2 TS UIMUSICMECCA PRESEN

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SATURDAY JAMN

FEB.44 J PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS

LATIN NIGHT

Canzoni d’ Amore (love songs) by Willie K and his band

W/

&964 %+ +"./ + t %+ / t $07&3 & DJ MOY 1.

TUESDAY

1.

WEDNESDAY

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ON MAUI WITH

IBIZA DJ PEAK

CASANOVA’S FAMOUS LADIES NIGHT BACK TO THE FUTURE W/ DJ BLAST & CHILLTOWN MUSIC STARTS @ 10PM + $10 COVER

THURSDAY FEBRUARY 2ND SOURCE PRESENTS

1. t /0 $07&3

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA’S THE AWARDS

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI”

SHOW STARTS AT 9:30PM $5 COVER

OUR BEATS ARE BROKEN

BREAKBEATS & DRUM AND BASS

DJs: AARON JAE, KEEGAN HOUSE, IMAT FRIDAY FEBRUARY 3RD

MYSTIC ISLAND FESTIVAL AFTER PARTY

CHRIS BERRY & MICHAEL KANG

SHOW STARTS AT 10PM $15 COVER

GAVINCHI GAVINCHI BROWN ROOTS ‘N CREATION SPECIAL GUESTS

HAYLEY & TEOMON MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING + DINE & DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS CALL 808.572.0220 LOG ON AT WWW.CASANOVAMAUI.COM

FEBRUARY 2, 2012

.BLBXBP "WFOVF r .BLBXBP r XXX DBTBOPWBNBVJ DPN

1945 S K

Friday

2/3

E ILLAG V A M A IHEI RD, KAL ui.com

879-9944 lulusma

WEDNESDAY LOCAL BAND

SABRINA 7-9PM Saturday

2/4

THURSDAY

BARBARA & NETTO

HOT & SPICY SALSA 8-11PM

$3 coronas, $5 1800 shots $5 patron shots 8PM-Close

2/5

(BALI BASS DANCE MUSIC)

22

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Sunday

DAVID STARFIRE Q103 PRESENTS

Italian Dinner for two plus show: $100.00 Show only :: $20 per person (regular menu also available) Please call 808.572.0220 for information and reservations.

SHOW STARTS AT 10PM $20 COVER

(PANJEA / STRING CHEESE INCIDENT)

SATURDAY FEBRUARY 4TH

Toni Pacino from Paris

FEB.7

TACO TUESDAY

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

Special guest chanteur extraordinnaire

dj Nexus

LATIN / MEXICAN MUSIC 11PM-CLOSe

FRIDAY

kAWIKA ORTIZ

7:30-9:30 pm

ISLAND DJ’S 10PM-CLOSe

SATURDAY

KAWIKA ORTIZ 8-11pm ASTRO RAPH 10PM-CLOSe

SUNDAY

NFL FOOTBALL SPECIAL

$3 STEINLAGER, $2 BUD LIGHT DURING GAME

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

2/2

2/3

2/4

2/5

2/6-2/8

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

JAVA JAZZ

Rick Glencross & Melanie Reid 7pm - close; no cover

Jamie Gallo 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross & Melanie Reid 7pm - close; no cover

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

MON - Guest Performer / TUE - Guest Performer / WED - Renee Alonzo (all sets 7pm-close; no cover)

KAHALE’S

Bad Kitty, 7pm

Kenny Roberts, 7pm

Eight Track Players, 7pm

Super Bowl Sunday / The Kihei Cowboys, 7pm

MON - Kawika / TUE - Da Hawaiians / WED - Gina Martinelli (all sets 7pm)

1810 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

TBA 8-10pm; no covered

1810 8-10pm; no cover

Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa 8-10pm; no cover

MON - Benny Uyetake, 6-8pm / TUE-WED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm (all sets no cover)

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

LAHAINA CAFE

843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

Free Karaoke w/ Danny DJ 10pm-12am; no cover

MON - Trivia Night w/ John, 7-9pm / TUE - Open Mic w/ Kenny, 10pm-12am / WED Megatouch Game Day w/ Katie, 7-9pm

Pool Tournament 7-9pm Fulton Tashombe & The Maui Jazz All-Stars, 7-10pm

A Maui Made Trunk Show 4-10pm; no cover

Super Bowl Sunday

Salsa Night w/ Neto & Barbara Peraza, 8-11pm / DJ Nexus 11pm-close

Requesola w/ Rob & Ron = R2, 6:30-9:30pm / DJ Nexus 10pm-close

Camp Savage 7:30-9:30pm / DJ AstroRaph, 10pm-close

Super Bowl Sunday / Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30pm / DJ Kamikaze, 10pm-close

LULU’S LAHAINA

Howard Ahia 6-8pm; no cover / Pool Tournament 7-10:30pm

Marvin Tevaga 6-9pm; no cover / Latin Night w/ DJ Danny 10pm-2am; $10

STATUS w/ DJs Big Mike & Money Mike 9:30pm-2am

MAUI BREWING COMPANY

Free Screening: “Groundhog Day” 9:30pm; no cover

Sierra Nevada Tap Party 3pm; no cover

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

Phil & Angie Benoit 6:30-8:30pm

DJ Mantis 9pm-close

MERRIMAN’S

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

MON - The Benoits / TUE - David Choy / WED - Ranga Pae (all sets 6-9pm)

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Willie K Dinner Show, 7-9pm; $65 / Pub Quiz Superfreakout w/ Trish “The Dish” Smith, 9:30pm-12am; no cover

Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

The Sirens 6:30-9pm

Super Bowl Sunday / The Celtic Tigers 6:30-9:30pm

MON - Joyce & Gord, 6-8:30pm / TUE Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks, 7-8pm / WED - Willie K Dinner Show, 7-9pm; $65

OCEANS BAR & GRILL

mauimusicmecca presents DJ Twizzy 10pm; no cover

Next Level Entertainment presents Bottoms Up Fridays, 10pm; $10

JamnJ Productions presents DJs JamnJ, Nexus and Moy, 10pm; $10

Super Bowl Sunday

LONGHI’S LAHAINA 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S KIHEI

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana - 669-3474

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414

5700; whaletrust.org SWING MAUI DANCE WITH THE LOUISE LAMBERT TRIO – See This Week’s Picks for more. $15. 8pm-12am. Kihei Charter High School (300 Ohukai Rd. #C20); louiselambert.com THREE’S BAR & GRILL’S 2-YEAR ANNIVERSARY PARTY – We love Three’s not only for their fab food and lively entertainment, but because of their commitment to creating a posh space that’s simply feels good to be in–and play in. Help them celebrate two years of fun, food and friendship by attending their second anniversary party, helmed by Next Level Entertainment. No cover. 10pm. Three’s Bar & Grill (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 879-3133

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 5 A FULL DAY OF FUN AT THE CANNERY – Every Sun. in Feb., enjoy an all-ages comedy and magic show with Lauro Castillio of the award-winning Kupanaha Magic Dinner Show (11:30am), followed by a keiki hula show (1pm), a yo-yo skills workshop by Maui Toy Works (4-5pm) and line dancing by Maui Paniolo Poss (4:30pm). Free. Lahaina Cannery Mall (Honoapiilani Hwy.); 661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 6 AMERICAN LUNG ASSOCIATION “GIVE

HEALTH” - Mon., Feb. 6 & Tue., Feb. 7. Visit the American Lung Association’s “Give Health” booth to learn about good stuff like smoking cessation. 4-7pm (Mon.) / 8am-12pm (Tue.). Queen Kaahumanu Center (275 W. Kaahumanu Ave.); queenkaahumanucenter.com

WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8

TUE - Open Mic Night 6:30pm-close

/ Hula performance, 6:30pm. Every Sat., Tim, 3-5pm / Kulewa, 6-8:30pm / Hula performance, 6:30pm. Every Sun., Fausto, 3-5pm / Damon & Tim, 6-8:30pm. Every Mon., Brian, 3-5pm / Eddie & Alika, 6-8:30pm. Every Tue., Bob Deleon, 3-5pm / Eddie & Alika 6-8:30pm. Every Wed., Brian, 3-5pm / Kahala & Daniel, 6-8:30pm. (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina; 662-2900) HULA GRILL - Every Thu., Ernest Pua’a, 11am-1pm / Alika Nako’oka, 1:303:30pm / Kaniala Masoe, 4-6pm / Kulewa 6:30-9pm. Every Fri., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am-1pm / Kaniala Masoe, 1:30-3:30pm / 1810, 4-6pm / Kawika, Roy and Albert, 6:309pm. Every Sat., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am-1pm / Ron, Ikaika & Damon, 1:30-3:30pm / 1810 4-6pm / Ben & Glenn, 6-9:30pm. Every Sun., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am1pm / Glenn, 1:30-3:30pm / 1810, 4-6pm / Derick Sebastian Trio, 6:30-9pm. Every Mon., Ernest Pua’a, 11am-1pm / Kawika Lum Ho, 1:30-3:30pm / Armadillo, 4-6pm / Derick Sebastian Trio & Josh Kahula, 6:30-9pm. Every Tue., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am-1pm / Jarrett Roback & Junior Lacuesta, 1:30-3:30pm / Damon Parillo & Danyel Alana, 5-6pm / Ernest Pua’a

CALENDAR LISTINGS

ON MAUITIME.COM

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI

DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Every Thu., Damien Awai., 3-5pm / Garret & Peter, 6-8:30pm. Every Fri., Garrett, 3-5pm / Kulewa, 6-8:30pm

MON - All Access DJs, 10pm / TUE - “Lahaina Idol” Karaoke w/ Troy, 9pm12am / WED - Kenny Roberts, 5-8pm

Super Bowl Sunday

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

WAILEA ON WEDNESDAYS! - Every Wed., The Shops at Wailea hosts their weekly WOW! (Wailea on Wednesdays!) series, featuring famous local performers in the lower courtyard and a slew of shop-toshop specials. Free. 6-8:30pm. The Shops at Wailea (Wailea Alanui Dr.); 891-6770; theshopsatwailea.com; @ShopsAtWailea on Twitter

TUE - Country Music & Dancing w/ Rick Scanlan, 7-11m / WED - Sebrina Barron 7-9pm; Ladies’ Night w/ DJ La Rage, 10pm-close

& Friends, 6:30-9pm. Every Wed., Ernest Pua’a, 111am-1pm / Kaniala Masoe, 1:303:30pm / Peter DeAquino, 4-6pm / Ernest Pua’a & Friends, 6:30-9pm. (Whalers Village, Ka’anapali; 667-6636) LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Every Thu., Jarret & Wilson. Every Fri., JD & Friends. Every Sat., JD & Harry. Every Sun., Merv Oana. All sets 3-5pm. (Whaler’s Village, Ka’anapali; 661-4495) LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL Every Thu., Howard Ahia, 6-8pm. Every Fri., Marvin Tevaga, 6-9pm. Every Tue., “Lahaina Idol” karaoke with Troy, 9pm; Every Wed., Kenny Roberts, 5-8pm. (Lahaina Cannery Mall; 661-0808) PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Every Thu., Greg di Piazza featuring Alana Cini, 5:308:30pm. Every Tue., Ah-Tim Elenicki, 5:308:30pm. Every Wed., JD on the Rocks, 5-8pm. (658 Wharf St., Lahaina; 661-3636) R.B. BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Every Sun., Live Jazz. (4465 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Lahaina; 669-8889) SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT - Every Tue. & Fri., Kincaid Kupahu, 7-9pm. Every Sun. & Thu., Andrew Kaina, 7-9pm. Every Sat., Coehlo Morrison, 7-9pm. Every Mon. & Wed., Albert Kaina, 7-9pm. (5900 L. Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Napili; 669-1500)

FEBRUARY 2, 2012

23

FRIDAY

SEAN MICHAEL HOWER

808.250.1788 HOWER PHOTO.COM

SATURDAY

24

FEBRUARY 2, 2012

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

2/2

2/3

2/4

2/5

2/6-2/8

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

DJ Slackin 10pm-close; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm-close; no cover

DJ LX 10pm-close; no cover

Super Bowl Sunday / Kanoa, 10pm-close

MON - DJ Slackin’ / TUE - DJ LX / WED Ladies’ Night w/ The ADD Twins (all sets 10pm - close; no cover)

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR

Dan & Anne 7-10pm; no cover

Jacob Abeytia 7-10pm

Kenny Roberts 9am-12pm; no cover

Super Bowl Sunday

MON - Still Pono Band, 7-10pm; no cover WED - Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm; no cover

Ladies’ Night 7pm-close; no cover

Live Music 8pm; no cover

Free Pool Day

Super Bowl Sunday

MON - Mahalo Monday Industry Night

Ah-Tim 4-6pm

Stella’s Supper Club feat. HAPA 6pm; $30/$60

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

Maui Underground 9pm-1am; $4

R.S. SHARKY’S

The House Shakers 9pm-12am

1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6115

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

WATERCRESS

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Every Thu., Jamie Gallo, 7pm. Every Tue., “Glee” on the big screen, 7pm. Every Wed., Red Carpet Movie Night, 7:30pm [February is Judd Apatow month. This week: “Knocked Up” (2007)]. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 891-1011) BEACH BUMS - Tue., Randall Rospond, 5-8pm. (300 Ma’alaea Rd.; 243-2286) HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Every Thu., Junior Lacuesta, 4-8pm. Every Fri., Tue. & Wed., Rick Glencross, 4-8pm. Every Sat., Ryan Robinson, 4-8pm. Mon., Jacob (of the Alliez), 4-8pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 874-1250) KAI WAILEA - Every Thu., Mon. & Sun., Wolf, 6-8:30pm. Every Fri., Ryan Robinson, 6-8:30pm. Every Sat., Kanoa Kukaua, 6-8:30pm. Every Mon., Tom Conway, 6-8:30pm. Every Wed., Francois, 6-8:30pm. (3750 Wailea Alanui; 875-1955)

MON - Tom Cherry & Mike Finkewiecz, 4-6pm / Willie K 10pm-12am, $10 / TUE - Tom Conway, 4-6pm / WED - Randall Rospond, 4-6pm / Slam feat. David Choy & Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm Lia Live 9pm-12am; no cover

Super Bowl Sunday

WED - Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover

Live Music 5-8pm.

TUE - Eat & Play Night / WED - Circus Night (feat. magicians, balloon artists and face painters)

Soul Congress w/ Clay Mortensen 9:30pm; no cover

Erin Smith w/ Sebrina Barron and Elaine Ryan 10pm; no cover

Three’s 2 Year Anniversary Party w/ Next Level Entertainment 10pm; no cover

Gina Martinelli Band 8pm; no cover

WED - The House Shakers 7:30pm; no cover

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

House of Reggae 9:45pm-2am; $10

We Love Timba Fridays 9:45pm-2am; $10

Spun Out w/ DJ Calcul8 9:45pm-2am; $10

closed

MON through WED - closed

NFL / Next Level Entertainment, 10pm

Live Music 10pm

Karaoke

Karaoke

TUE - Thirsty Tuesdays / WED - Free Karaoke

LULU’S KIHEI - Every Thu., Neto & Barbara, 8-11pm. Every Fri., Ron & Rob = R2, 6:309:30pm. Every Sun., Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30m. Every Tue., Rick Scanlan, 7-11pm. Every Wed., Sebrina Barron, 7-9pm. (1945 S. Kihei Rd.; 879-9944) MONSOON INDIA - Every Sat., Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Tue., The Hula Honeys, 5:30-8:30pm. (760 S. Kihei Rd.; 875-6666) MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu., Willie K, 7-9pm. Fri., Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm. Fri., Sebrina Barron, 6:30-8:30pm. Sat., The Sirens, 6:30-9pm. Sun., The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley, 6:30-9:30pm. Mon., Joyce & Gord w/ Jimmy C, 6-8:30pm. Tue., Brenton Keith & His Bag O’Tricks, 7-8pm. Wed., Willie K, 7-9pm. (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea; 874-1131) SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Every Thu., Erin Smith, 4-6pm. Every Fri, Randall Rospond, 4-6pm. Every Sat., Tom Conway, 4-6pm. Ev-

ery Sun., Viva La Rumba, 4-6pm. Every Mon., Kanoa Kukaua, 4-6pm. Every Tue., Sebrina Barron, 4-6pm. Every Wed., Mark Johnstone, 4-6pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 874-6444) STELLA BLUES CAFE - Every Thu., Ah-Tim, 4-6pm. Every Fri., Ahumanu 4-6pm. Every Mon., Tom Cherry & Mike Finkeiwicz, 4-6pm. Every Tue., Tom Conway, 4-6pm. Every Wed., Randall Rospond (HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RANDALL!), 4-6pm / Slam feat. David Choy & Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd.; 8743779) TRADEWINDS POOLSIDE CAFE - Every Thu., Kawika Lum Ho, 6-9pm. Every Fri., Gina Martinelli, 6-9pm. Every Sat. Dominic or Mike, 6-9pm. Every Sun., Rob & Ron = R2, 6-9pm. Every Mon., Bobby Ingram & Friends, 6-9pm. Every Tue., Mike & Mark, 6-9pm. Every Wed., Steve Sargenti, 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.; 891-8860)

CENTRAL/UPCOUNTRY CAFE DES AMIS - Every Thu., Joe Conte, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Sat., Live Argentinian music, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Wed., Mark Johnstone, 6:30-8:30pm. (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 579-6323) CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY - Every Thu., Sun. & Tue., Francois, 6pm-close. Every Sun., Fausto, 9am-1pm. (500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului; 873-6555) FLATBREAD COMPANY - Thu., Randall Rospond, 5:30-8pm. (89 Hana Hwy., Paia; 5798989) MAKAWAO STEAKHOUSE - Sat., Randall Rospond, 6:30-8:30pm. (3612 Baldwin Ave.; 572-8711)

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE - Every Fri., Braddah Francis 4-8pm. Every Mon., Open Mic Night with hostess Teri Garrison, 8pm. Every Tue., Clay Mortensen, 5-8pm. Every Wed., Teri Garrison, 5-8pm / Free Karaoke Night with host Braddah Francis, 8pm. (355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului; 877-9001)

LIST YOUR EVENT! Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo and a link to your Web site. Go to mauitime.com/listing and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Looking for something to do? Use MauiTime’s free calendar to browse hundreds of events online. Art galleries, family events, education classes, film and literary events, church groups, music, sports, volunteer opportunities—all this and more on our free events calendar at mauitime. com/calendar.

Start planning your week!

FEBRUARY 2, 2012

25

FILM

Challenging but not compelling Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy Is Convoluted And Confusing BY BARRY WURST II Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

★★★★★

Rated R/127 Min. r. Smiley (Gary Oldman) is like a master of ceremonies to his cluster of secret agents, a group of middle-aged, worn out British spies who meet in secret locations and double and triple-cross one another at any given moment. Once its discovered there’s a mole in his midst, Smiley digs deeper and keeps his men under close surveillance. The question isn’t merely who but why and we too take part in the cloak and dagger work, watching a smooth ladie’s man (Colin Firth), an on-edge school teacher (Mark Strong), a love struck field agent (Tom Hardy) and a cantankerous veteran (John Hurt) at work. The four-word title is the codename of each of the most likely four suspects, some of whom won’t be alive by the final reveal. The first thing my senior graduating class did on our last day of school at Ka‘ahumanu Hou high school was run over to the Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center to see Mission: Impossible. Following the screening, my classmates and I collectively discovered that we really didn’t understand the movie, at all. Only af-

M

“The snail pacing is sometimes interrupted by jolts of sex or gory violence but mostly scenes of men talking about events that don’t register, since the film has been edited in a way to prevent the narrative from connecting.” 26

FEBRUARY 2, 2012

I’ll show you mine if you show me yours

ter four additional viewings, did I fully get the story and I now love the film. I doubt I will ever say the same for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, which is the most challenging film of the year. The story is remarkably convoluted and confusing but, even if I could fully decipher it, the film left me cold. I admired the performances and the filmmaking but I never cared about any of these characters, mole or not. Tomas Alfredson previously directed the fantastic Let the Right One In, the Swedish vampire thriller that is among the best of its genre. Here, he makes an equally quiet, stylish film, though the pacing will make even the most patient movie goers restless. I’d call the film slow, but that would indicate movement of some sort. The first 20 minutes have so many extended pauses and scenes of men just sitting, not doing anything, you wonder if this was meant to create mood or incite audience impatience. The snail pacing is sometimes interrupted by jolts of sex or gory violence but mostly scenes of men talking about events that don’t register, since the film has been edited in a way to prevent the narrative from connecting. There are flashbacks within flashbacks, as well as odd scenes like a CGI owl flying into a classroom that Strong smashes to pieces.

Oldman’s performance has been getting early acclaim as his finest; no question, he’s excellent in the role and has an extended monologue (with a cockeyed camera thrust in his face) that is one of the film’s most arresting moments. Yet, for the actor who once played Sid Vicious, Dracula, Lee Harvey Oswald and Beethoven, this is another pitchperfect tour de force but hardly the pinnacle of his abilities. Of the large supporting cast, Hurt makes the most vivid impression. Fans of the book will be the most ready to embrace such a stuffy, “Masterpiece Theater”-ready film. The novel was written by John Le Carre, whose books I’ve loved, particularly Absolute Friends. His The Russia House was made into a nail biting, gorgeously produced thriller starring Sean Connery and Michelle Pfeiffer in two of their best performances. That 1990 film has no car chases, shoot outs or conventional action scenes but knew how to portray Le Carre’s intellectual take on the spy genre. Here, you have a film with a lot to admire but little to connect to. The big reveal at the end will leave you shrugging and going “oh, well.” ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1533f

FILM

Showtimes FRONT STREET THEATER 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees) Chronicle - PG 13 - FRI (1:30, 4:30), 7:30, 9:55. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:30, 7:30, 9:55. MON-WED (4:30), 7:30, 9:55. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - PG 13 - THU (3:45), 6:45, 9:30. FRI (1:00, 3:45), 6:45, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:00), 3:45, 6:45, 9:30. MONWED (3:45), 6:45, 9:30. Haywire - R - THU (4:15), 7:15, 9:45. One For The Money - PG 13 - THU (4:00), 7:00, 9:30. FRI (1:45, 4:00), 7:00, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:45), 4:00, 7:00, 9:30. MON-WED (4:00), 7:00, 9:30. Underworld: Awakening (2D) - R - THU (4:30), 7:30, 9:55. The Woman in Black - PG 13 - FRI (1:15, 4:15), 7:15, 9:45. SAT-SUN (1:15), 4:15, 7:15, 9:45. MON-WED (4:15), 7:15, 9:45.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees) The Adventures of Tintin (3D) - PG - THU (5:00). FRI (12:00, 5:00), 10:00. SAT-SUN (12:00), 5:00, 10:00. MON-WED (5:00), 10:00. Albert Nobbs - R - THU (1:35, 4:05), 6:50, 9:25. The Artist - PG 13 - THU (1:55, 4:15), 6:40, 9:05. FRI (11:45, 1:55, 4:15), 6:40, 9:05. SAT-SUN (11:45, 1:55), 4:15, 6:40, 9:05. MON-WED (1:55, 4:15), 6:40, 9:05. Beauty and the Beast (2D) - G - THU (4:30). Beauty and the Beast (3D) - G - THU (2:15), 6:45. FRI (12:30, 2:50, 5:10). SAT-SUN (12:30,

NEW THIS WEEK BIG MIRACLE - PG - Family - Based on a true story, John Krasinski (you know, “Jim” from The Office; i.e. the quintessential sentimental dreamboat) stars as a reporter with a big story in a small Arctic Circle town. To save a trio of gray whales trapped by miles of solid ice, he enlists the help of his Greenpeacelovin’ ex-girlfriend, played by Drew Barrymore (as if you hadn’t already guessed), some local Inuits and the Russian military. 107 min. CHRONICLE - PG 13 - Action/Horror - Regardless of whatever hunky dory resolve this movie may (or may not) have, the rest is proofpositive that three egomaniacal high school boys (wait, is that redundant?) with telekinetic superpowers is the stuff of pure horror. 83 min. THE WOMAN IN BLACK - PG 13 - A scary, scorned ghost lady haunts a house and blah blah blah... Look, all I care about is that this is Daniel Radcliffe’s first big film since youknow-what–which means I’m finally a small step away from being a paedophilic creep for thinking Harry Potter’s hot. 95 min.

NOW SHOWING THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN - PG - Animation - Directed by Steven Spielberg (his first-ever animated film), this flick follows a young journalist, Tintin, and his itty bitty dog, Snowy. Based on Les Aventures de Tintin, a comic series by Belgian artist Georges Remi (a.k.a. Herge), which have sold over 200 million copies in 50 languages. 107 min. ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED - PG - Animated - Squirrelkabobs! The Chipmunks and Chimpettes get stranded on a deserted topical island–and soon find it

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT BY ANU YAGI

2:50), 5:10. MON-WED (2:50, 5:10). Big Miracle - PG - FRI (11:30, 1:50, 4:20), 6:50, 9:20. SAT-SUN (11:30, 1:50), 4:20, 6:50, 9:20. MON-WED (1:50, 4:20), 6:50, 9:20. Chronicle - PG 13 - FRI (11:30, 12:35, 2:45, 4:35, 4:55), 7:05, 9:15, 9:40. SAT-SUN (11:30, 12:35, 2:45), 4:35, 4:55, 7:05, 9:15, 9:40. MONWED (2:45, 4:35, 4:55), 7:05, 9:15, 9:40. The Descendants - R - THU-FRI (1:50, 4:35), 7:10, 9:55. SAT-SUN (1:35), 4:30, 7:10, 9:55. MON-WED (1:35, 4:30), 7:10, 9:55. The Devil Inside - R - THU 10:00. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - PG 13 - THU (2:25, 5:20), 8:15. FRI (11:35, 2:25, 5:20), 8:15. SAT-SUN (11:35, 2:25), 5:20, 8:15. MONWED (2:25, 5:20), 8:15. Haywire - R - THU (2:50, 5:10), 7:30, 9:50. FRIWED 7:30, 9:50. Hugo (3D) - PG - THU-WED (2:20), 7:20. Joyful Noise - PG 13 - THU (1:30, 4:10), 6:55, 9:40. FRI (1:30, 4:10), 6:55. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:10, 6:55. MON-WED (1:30, 4:10), 6:55. Man On A Ledge - PG 13 - THU (2:00, 4:25), 7:00, 9:35. FRI (11:40, 2:00, 4:25), 7:00, 9:30. SAT-SUN (11:40, 2:00), 4:25, 7:00, 9:30. MONWED (2:00, 4:25), 7:00, 9:30. One For The Money - PG 13 - THU (2:40, 4:55), 7:15, 9:30. FRI (12:25, 2:40, 4:50), 7:15, 9:25. SAT-SUN (12:25, 2:40), 4:50, 7:15, 9:25. MONWED (2:40, 4:50), 7:15, 9:25. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - PG 13 - THU (4:20), 9:45. FRI-WED 9:35. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - R - THU (2:30,

isn’t deserted at all (big surprise). I wonder if the natives will Cook them? 87 min. THE ARTIST - PG 13 - Romance - A silent film star grapples with his waning fame as newfangled “talkies” become all the rage. 100 min. BEAUTY AND THE BEAST - G - Animated From a little town in a quiet village, this tale as old as time returns in 3D. 84 min. CONTRABAND - R - Action - Boy howdy, those Nordic Euros sure are multi-talented. See, in Iceland, Baltasa Kormakur starred in the original 2009 version of this movie, Reykjavik-Rotterdam. But in America, Kormakur’s the director while Mark Wahlberg, Giovanni Ribisi and Kate Beckinsale star. 110 min. THE DESCENDANTS - R - Drama/Comedy Whoa, whoa, whoa. A Golden Globe-winning movie filmed in Hawaii (and though we’ve already qualified it’s award-winning–no, Adam Sandler’s not in it), about Hawaii (seriously), written by a Hawaiian (it’s based on the critically acclaimed debut novel by Kaui Hart Hemmings)? And it’s not Get A Job? And it stars George Clooney? What the hell more do you need to know before you go? (And how many more question marks will it take before our point is made???) 115 min. EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE - PG 13 - Drama - Based on the book of the same title by American author Jonathan Safran Foer (not to be confused with Anu Yagi’s Aussie obsession, John Safran). 129 min. THE GREY - R - Thriller - Apparently, when you’re hungry like a wolf, Liam Neeson’s on the menu. PS: Canis lupus-controversy ignited when The Province (one of two major daily newspapers in British Columbia, where The Grey was filmed) reported that a local trapper was hired to provide the production with four wolf carcasses–two of which were used as props while the other two were eaten by cast members. Oh, method acting! 117 min.

5:30), 8:30. FRI-WED (1:40), 6:45. War Horse - PG - THU 9:00. We Bought A Zoo - PG - THU (1:40), 7:05. The Woman in Black - PG 13 - FRI (12:15, 2:35, 5:05), 7:25, 9:45. SAT-SUN (12:15, 2:35), 5:05, 7:25, 9:45. MON-WED (2:35, 5:05), 7:25, 9:45.

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked - PG - THU-WED 12:10, 2:20. Contraband - R - THU 11:25, 2:00, 4:35, 7:10. FRI-SAT 11:25, 2:00, 4:35, 7:10, 9:50. SUNWED 11:25, 2:00, 4:35, 7:10. The Grey - R - THU 11:15, 1:50, 4:25, 7:05. FRISAT 11:15, 1:50, 4:25, 7:05, 9:35. SUN-WED 11:15, 1:50, 4:25, 7:05. Iron Lady - PG 13 - THU 12:20, 2:40, 5:00, 7:20. FRI-SAT 12:20, 2:40, 5:00, 7:20, 9:45. SUNWED 12:20, 2:40, 5:00, 7:20. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - PG 13 - THU 4:30, 7:15. FRI-SAT 4:30, 7:15, 10:00. SUN-WED 4:30, 7:15. Red Tails - PG 13 - THU 11:00, 1:40, 4:20, 7:00. FRI-SAT 11:00, 1:40, 4:20, 7:00, 9:40. SUNWED 11:00, 1:40, 4:20, 7:00. Underworld: Awakening (2D) - R - THU-WED 11:00, 1:15. Underworld: Awakening (3D) - R - THU 3:25, 5:35, 7:45. FRI-SAT 3:25, 5:35, 7:45, 10:10. SUN-WED 3:25, 5:35, 7:45.

HAYWIRE - R - Thriller - Hell hath no fury like an elite chic soldier scorned–and pay back’s (literally) a bitch. Starring Gina Carano and Ewan McGregor. 108 min. HUGO - G - Directed by some guy named Martin Scorsese, this film is based on American author Brian Selznick’s gorgeous, Caldecott-winning book, The Invention of Hugo Cabret. Starring Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen and Jude Law. 127 min. IRON LADY - PG 13 - Drama - Sorry, super hero geeks. This flick isn’t the Catwoman to Iron Man’s Batman. Barry Wurst II writes, “Just when you thought you were done being newly impressed with Meryl Streep, she embodies and completely captures Margaret Thatcher... The numerous historical recreations aren’t always shown in a way that clearly demonstrates their importance but they’re certainly exciting in the way they’re staged.” 105 min. JOYFUL NOISE - PG 13 - Musical - Queen Latifah, Dolly Parton and Kris Kristofferson star. For better or worse, that’s all you need to know. 133 min. MAN ON A LEDGE - PG 13 - Thriller - Why’s it that, in movies, whenever an innocent man’s been wrongfully framed, he’s got to run around committing a bunch of crimes just to prove he’s innocent? 102 min. MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL - PG 13 - Action - The real impossible mission lies in whether this movie can resurrect Tom Cruise from the Hollywood whack list. (No, Tom. You are not a “thetan” trapped in a “meat body.” You’re a goddamned movie star and we miss you. Well, kind of... If you miss Maverick, too, blame L. Ron Hubbard.) 132 min. ONE FOR THE MONEY - PG 13 - Comedy - Based on the 1994 novel by the same name, written by Janet Evanovich (i.e. it’s live-action poolside reading). Starring Katherine Heigl and Debbie Reynolds. 106 min.

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) The Artist - PG 13 - FRI-SAT 11:00, 1:20, 3:40, 5:55, 8:15, 10:30. SUN 11:00, 1:20, 3:40, 5:55, 8:15. MON-WED 1:20, 3:40, 5:55, 8:15. Chronicle - PG 13 - FRI-SAT 11:15, 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 10:00. SUN 11:15, 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30. MON-WED 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30. The Descendants - R - THU 1:50, 4:20, 7:00. FRISAT 11:20, 1:50, 4:20, 7:00, 9:45. SUN 11:20, 1:50, 4:20, 7:00. MON-WED 1:50 4:20, 7:00. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - PG 13 - THU 2:00, 4:45, 7:25. Man On A Ledge - PG 13 - THU 1:05, 3:30, 5:50, 8:05. FRI-SAT 11:30, 2:05, 4:30, 7:05, 9:30. SUN 11:30, 2:05, 4:30, 7:05. MON-WED 1:00, 3:30, 5:50, 8:20. Underworld: Awakening (2D) - R - THU 1:00, 3:00, 5:00, 7:15.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees) The Grey - R - THU-FRI 1:15, 4:15), 7:05, 9:55. SAT-SUN (1:15), 4:15, 7:05, 9:55. MON-WED (1:15, 4:15), 7:05, 9:55. Man On A Ledge - PG 13 - THU-FRI (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 9:50. SAT-SUN (1:45), 4:30, 7:15, 9:50. MON-WED (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 9:50. Red Tails - PG 13 - THU-FRI (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 9:50. SAT-SUN (1:00), 4:00, 7:00, 9:50. MONWED (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 9:50.

RED TAILS - PG 13 - Action - The inspiring story of African American pilots in the then-experimental Tuskegee training program and their WWII heroism (read: bring a box of tissues and start saving up for flight lessons). Starring Cuba Gooding Jr. and Terrence Howard. 125 min. SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS - PG 13 - Action - Sherlock (Robert Downey Jr.) and Watson (Jude Law) are back for more ‘splosions. 129 min. TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY - R - Mystery - Based on the 1974 British spy novel written by John le Carre. Starring Gary Oldman (as super spy George Smiley), Colin Firth, Tom Hardy and John Hurt. 127 min. UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING - R - Fantasy - Kate Beckinsale returns as Selene, a vampire warrioress who does a bunch of vampire warrioress stuff. 88 min.

LAST CHANCE ALBERT NOBBS - R - Drama - Glenn Close in early 20th century Irish drag. You know, just in case her The Big Chill shower scene hadn’t scarred your psyche enough. 113 min. THE DEVIL INSIDE - R - Horror - A demonically possessed mother and daughter ride their exorcise bikes through Vatican City! 83 min. WAR HORSE - PG 13 - Drama - “Experience [WWI] through the eyes of [Joey, a] long suffering and supernaturally strong horse,” writes Barry Wurst II. 146 min. WE BOUGHT A ZOO - PG - Family - Because the world isn’t ready for We Bought A Poo. Starring Matt Damon and Scarlet Johansson. 123 min. ■

FEBRUARY 2, 2012

27

KULA KID

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FEBRUARY 2, 2012

he only good thing about doing dumb shit is that you learn some things (at least, hopefully)–even when you’re likely doomed to repeat your mistakes. Here are the epiphanies that my latest foible’s earned: 1) We really need to keep an eye on those Russians. 2) The fetal position is only comfortable if you’re suspended in womb goo. 3) The Mainland needs to stop sending us their bums. 4) I’m no longer sentimentally attached to this mildewed upholstered armchair. Alright, I guess those warrant some explanation. And hell, I’ve got nothing better to do. See, I’m writing to you now from a cheap Steno Book just purchased from Chevron, with a Sharpie likewise acquired, because I’ve locked my keys, phone and purse inside the MauiTime office. The echoing bing-bong from the belfry on Church Street tells me it’s midnight–so I wouldn’t call any coworkers (who are anyway miles away) even if I had the means. Which brings me to the first lesson: After spending an hour contemplating every unlikely way I could ninja myself onto the office’s second story balcony (where I’d left a door agape), I’ve concluded that if I were, like, some Russian tracer (i.e. parkour practitioner), this’d be a piece of cake–er, um, piece of biskvit. Yeah, yeah, yeah–I know that Wiki says parkour was developed by Frenchman David Belle, and that “tracer” is an intentional simplification of the French word “traceur,” but YouTube introduced me to parkour (an extreme, freestyle form of gymnastics across urban edifices) as a Russian thing, so it’s stuck in my brain as such. Speaking of my brain, it’s been all I can do to not envision it splattered on the Market Street sidewalk. So I’ve decided to nix my Jackie Chan plans and wait it out ‘til morning by curling up in this chair instead (more on that later). Though my flat American ass can barely climb the stairs without stumbling, I’ve considered leaping onto the second floor’s roof from the third floor’s porch to then slide down the aluminum overhang and swing into our balcony by using the momentum of sliding off the edge of the building. I’ve also tried “spider walking” (a la Most Extreme Elimination) up a weird corner of the building. My best idea’s been to try clinging to two window sills by my fingers and toes and edgealong about eight feet between two balconies with balustrades as loose as a second grader’s two front teeth. I actually practiced this a bunch of times on windows that are not two stories high, going so far as to huff and puff dramatically to simulate anxiety. But when it came to the real deal, I (again) only got so far as the first step–still close enough to grasp at the railing if I slipped. It took my hands crunching into a mass grave

for geckos, corpses cocooned in pigeon poop, for me to finally realize, “Who the hell am I kidding?” I need to watch more Russian parkour videos. Or better yet, not lock myself out from my office so I can finish my work and go home to watch that insanely hot gun nut on FPS Russia (also on YouTube–just search “Russian arms guy” and click on the video with 21.5 million hits). Now there’s a Russian I’d like to keep my eye on. OK, lesson number two: Thwap. I know it’s now between 2:30 and 3am because that’s around the time the downstairs neighbor’s get their Maui News tossed through the gate. I’m here at the office too late too often (notwithstanding being locked out) so, like the church bells, I’ve learned audio cues to alert me of the hour. The office’s outside is ensconced with circ boxes and old office furniture, but one relegated item’s at least proving some usefulness: an old upholstered armchair (that I’ve sadly already had many late night naps on). Since I don’t much like the idea of Blattaria B-52s scuttling over my toes while I’m trying to catch a few winks, I’ve curled up in fetal position to lessen my chances. This, I’ve discovered, sucks. (And furthermore does nothing to deter cockroaches). I’m sure it’s a comfy position when you’re a fetus in the womb, but when decades and disease have battered your desk jockey-atrophied body, it’s the furthest thing from appropriate or healthy. Also, it’s goddamned cold... Hence, lesson three: I’ve never looked into whether there’s any truth to the ol’ tale that Mainland governments buy their bums one-way tickets to Hawaii so they don’t have to deal with them in the winters. The idea doesn’t seem that far-fetched, but it’s lame–if nothing else–for the bum who’s supposedly escaping the cold. Sure, it doesn’t really freeze here, but it s-s-sure f-f-fucking f-f-feels like it. I’m debating whether or not I should walk down to the Banyan Tree Park to see if any of the resident bums are still awake, and ask them their trick for keeping warm. If the answer’s booze, sign me up. Finally, four: You know, I used to really like this chair–but for the life of me, I can’t remember why. It’s sunken in the middle, missing a leg and stinks of sweaty mildew. I’m trying to use the cushions to create some sort of wind block/blanket, but all that’s done is reveal 15 years of myriad MauiTime crumbs and a petrified French Fry. I can already hear a fleet of Blattaria winging their way here for a feast. It must be nearing predawn now, because the deep pitch is beginning to pale and the traffic’s picking up. I’m still covered in the soot of gecko hell but now smell like mold, too. And I really have to pee. Thank goodness Anthony and Brad arrive at 7am like clockwork. It can’t be more than a couple hours away... Maybe by then, I’ll have learned another new thing. ■

anu@mauitime.com

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HOROSCOPE

Sign Language BY CAERIEL CRESTIN AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

Everyone has insecurities and fears. That’s natural. What’s unnatural is when an otherwise confident person like you allows those self-doubts to dramatically influence your behavior. You can’t help feeling the way you do, but you’re smart enough to realize there’s little to no rational basis for those emotions; therefore, you need to resist the urge to act based on them. Instead, come from a more benevolent, confident, and open place—even if you have to fake it a little to get there. You’ll find that in this case, pretending optimistic confidence will work like a charm—and be replaced almost instantly and seamlessly with the real thing. PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

You’re normally so open-minded, so it’s weird that you have such a resistance to a new person in your life. Sure, maybe they’re initially annoying or unlikeable. But if you just give them a proper chance, they might prove to be wonderful. Some of my favorite people are ones I disliked at first, but once I got past whatever little thing annoyed me, I realized they’re actually pretty great. That could be the case here. Give the new person (or people) a better opportunity than you have so far to show you what they’re really about. Even if you still end up disliking them, there’s at least something cool you could learn here. Go learn it. ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

While there are, of course, many good cops, there are also those who seem to have pursued that profession just so they could continue the career of bullying they began in grade school, or simply enjoy having power over other people. Many of those who seek power and authority do so for the wrong reasons, and ultimately abuse it. Luckily, there are wonderful rebellious Rams like you to call them out on it. Even though you occasionally pay a price for speaking out, I hope you continue to do so. If you don’t, who will? Sadly, maybe no one. TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

When you let someone into your life, you also, to some extent, let the other people they’re close to into it, as well. Some of those they chose (like their friends), others were just what they got (like their families). Finding the right balance of all these new people is a tricky thing, but it must be done, since the simplest, all-ornothing solutions are rarely satisfying for anyone concerned. That means trial and error, and probably some uncomfortable missteps along the way—however, this week’s experiments should bring you much closer to a sense of harmonious balance. GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

Most people would love to be with someone who can make them laugh. Humor is very attractive! However, you’ll find the laughter stops when the usually funny person can’t get serious when they need to. Your charm is infinite, until it’s misapplied. There’s a time to turn it off and just be real. The best jokes won’t save you if you can’t switch gears like you’ll probably have to this week. Be sensitive to what those around you need, and what they’re ready for. For instance, you may think they need to laugh—but whether they’re ready to is quite another story. Be flexible and wait for your moment. Comedy’s all about timing, remember? CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

Give yourself permission to be happy. So many Crabs are reluctant to really allow themselves happiness because of their worry that it will soon go away. Yes, you’re probably right that this particular episode of joy will end, sooner or later, but that’s all the more reason to enjoy it as fully as possible, not resist it with all sorts of emotional barriers between you and the actual experience. I know you can’t just turn off your anxieties like flipping a switch, but you can make a conscious effort to ignore them in favor of all the joy and fun on your plate right now. At least try.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

Yes, you’re frequently right. However, isn’t being right enough, by itself? Can’t you just enjoy it in the privacy of your own mind? Must you rub it in others’ faces? Pointing out that you were, after all, spot on, will not endear you to those around you, as surely you know. So, why the difficulty restraining yourself from saying, “I told you so”? You like it when people like you, right? So bite your tongue and be supportive, instead of telling them how much better off they’d be now, if they’d just listened to you, before.

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS

...to questions on page 4

1–B: “[The campaign] was actually a lot of fun to work on. There’s just so much material out here to use.”

2–A: Convert them to “Defense Department use” and then send at least one back to the Pacific. 3–B. A California judge sentenced him to a year of sex-offender counseling and five years probation after he pleaded no contest to molesting two girls in the 1990s.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

Guilt or a feeling of obligation have forced you into many a situation you’d have been better off (and happier) fleeing. Well, no more! Occasionally, there will be awful circumstances you can’t evade, but this week you should be able to successfully escape your supposed duties and steer clear, as long as you don’t cave to your own self-imposed guilt. Get over yourself and do what you secretly want to do, finally, instead of what you (and only you, really) feel you must. Everyone will be much happier for it—even the people you thought you’d be disappointing. LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

Don’t assume you’re the special exception. If someone you know talks shit about other people as soon as they leave the room, you can safely assume they badmouth you whenever you’re gone, too. If they lie to others, they probably lie to you, too. Don’t jump into that whole backbiting paradigm. You don’t need to belittle others, so stay positive. You’re wonderful; trying to point out others’ flaws will only make you less so. Give those catty, gossipy bitches in your life a wide berth. If you can’t, don’t play their game. Play yours instead, and at least give them something to talk about.

Green Island Gardening 15 years in business ÝÛJ<IM@E>

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

You may inwardly groan at some of the adverse reactions you get when some people discover you’re a Scorpio, but realistically you get as much or more good press, despite your sometimes harshly negative reputation. Many people have felt the Scorpio sting, which has made them wary, but even more people have felt the intensity of your affection or sexuality—and those are way more compelling, in the long run. Bank on all your amazingly good assets instead of focusing on the dark side of your Scorpio nature. They’re what’ll get you the things you want right now. Plus, they’re more fun.

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8ll]f\af_ÛlgÛYddÛqgmjÛdYf\k[Yh]Ûf]]\k 8ll]f\af_ÛlgÛYddÛqgmjÛdYf\k[Yh]Ûf]]\k

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

Telling someone they’re doing something incorrectly is obligatory if you’re responsible for them getting it right, but often unwelcome if you’re just a helpful stranger. However, I admire your desire to aid those who might need your (relative) expertise, so attempt to offer it, anyway, in as gentle, polite and supportive a way as possible. If they react defensively (or offensively) try not to take it personally. Back off and get away. But for every person who gets angry that you butt in, there’s probably one who’ll be grateful (and even some of those who told you to piss off will actually use your advice). For their sake, give it a go. CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

You don’t stick your foot in your mouth as often as those hotheaded Aries or chatterbox Geminis, so you’re not as familiar with the flavor. However, everyone’s entitled to an honest mistake or impetuous verbal misstep now and again. It’s what makes us endearingly human. So don’t beat yourself up too much about it. Ironically, your screw-up will make you seem more charming, approachable, and ultimately loveable, so embrace your gaffe. It’s a blessing in disguise—you may not figure out exactly why or how for a long time (or ever), but trust me on this: screwing up can be a very good thing. In this case, it’s the thing.

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

FEBRUARY 2, 2012

29

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Rest & Relaxation

Paia Tattoo Parlor

Traditional, Chair & Travel Hammocks in many styles!

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FIND ME ON FACEBOOK

We’ve moved! Check out our new 4,000 sq ft. warehouse at 320 Hoohana St. Unit 13-16 in Kahului! Next to Pacific Fish Market and Mcguire Bearing

Josh Jerman R(B) 808.283.2222 direct

www.hangloosehammockshawaii.com AIR MAUI HELICOPTER TOURS 2 FOR 1 SPECIAL! West Maui/Molokai Special. Only Air Maui offers this incredible flight! Call now for your 2 for 1 Kama’aina special or special visitor rate! Expires Dec. 31, 2011. For reservations call 877-7005

ALOHA MARKETPLACE ACROSS THE STREET FROM OCEANS BAR IN KIHEI

To download my FREE Maui real estate app and enter 12137

(Upstairs, next to Cool Cats.)

INKING MAUI FOR 18 YEARS

Smoke Shop

www.JoshJerman.com

Oering shipping on all orders HANGLOOSE HAMMOCKS HAWAII 658 Front St. Lahaina Wharf Cinema Center 808-244-3908

808.579.8515

',!33 „ 6!0%3 „ ')&43 „ ')&43 +!-!´!).!!

VISIT

.com

WAILEA AND MAKENA REAL ESTATE DEALS Heavily discounted opportunities. Prices from $469k and up. Contact Josh Jerman, Realtor 808-283-2222 The Wailea Group LLC EXPRESS YOURSELF! SINGING PIANO, AND BAND CLASSES! Pro Vocalist / Pro Voice Coach / Bandleader/ Pianist teaches Singing, Piano, Band Classes. “Beginners to Grammy Winners.� www. louiselambert.com 205-3971

THIS SPACE COULD BE YOURS! FOR AS LITTLE AS

$115/WEEK CALL BRAD AT 283-3260 OR TOMMY AT 283-0512 TO RESERVE YOUR SPOT

CHRYSLER EXPERTS! "-7 / -).) s 6/,6/ -%2#%$%3 s 67 !5$) 3%26)#% s 0!243 s !##%33/2)%3

SPORTFISHING

10% DISCOUNT

The Fastest Growing Privacy Hedge Available!

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2$

42 ft. Custom Sportfishers Catch a 500+lb Marlin & your trip is

A store for gardeners big and small AW^kbk_ .-'#)/) š >W_ak +-+#//// OhanaGreenhouse.com NationalGardenWholesale.com

Stop Wishin’ & Go Fishin’

)3,!.$ 7)$% 3%26)#%

878-2698

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,OWER +ULA 2OAD s "EHIND +ULA (ARDWARE

FREE

and we make a $300 donation to a Maui charity

(808) 667-2774

Yellow Seed Bamboo

www.YellowSeedBamboo.com

We need happy* interns. *happy interns do not necessarily need to be as happy as interns shown. In fact, we find interns this happy quite creepy.

Do you think you have what it takes?

Send your resume to interns@mauitime.com or 33 N. Market St., Suite 201, Wailuku, HI 96793

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