15.34 Valentine's Day 2012, February 9, 2012, Volume 15, Issue 34, MauiTime

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FEBRUARY 9, 2012

Contents YOUR SCION NO HAGGLE, NO HASSLE. VOLUME 15

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: Who would you like to give a shout out to for whatever reason? Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Ron Associate Editor: Anu Yagi (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com @anuheayagi on Twitter Traci! Proofreader: Dina Wilson Lili Crawford Contributors: Jason Castle, Caeriel Crestin, Mick E. Finn, Lantana Hoke, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com My mother, Deborah Ann Hower Art Director & Production Manager: Scrappers scrapperstown.com & thedepartmentofawesome.com All the fine folks in Happy Valley. Woot! Woot! Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia (Maggie), Christina Tarleton Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Who needs friends? I can count all my friends on one finger–guess which one it is!

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ISSUE 34

COVER: THE 2012 SCION xD

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*MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee; excludes taxes, title, license, and optional equipment. Dealer price may vary. All rights reserved. stickybitsÂŽ is a registered trademark of stickybits, Inc. iPhoneÂŽ is a trademark of Apple, Inc., registered in the U.S. and other countries. Android™ is a trademark of Google Inc. Use of this trademark is subject to Google Permissions. Š2012 Scion, a marque of Toyota Motor Sales U.S.A., Inc. All rights reserved. Scion, the Scion logo, and xD are trademarks of Toyota Motor Corporation.

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MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright Š 2011 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

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NEWS&VIEWS

QUIZunderstood 1.

Which of the following did NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell NOT say about the Jan. 29 Pro Bowl (held on Oahu) on ESPN Radio’s “Mike and Mike in the Morning” show on Feb. 5?

stands. They didn’t like what they were seeing.” E. “I know players love to be in Hawaii but we have to start with the quality of what we’re doing.”

2. According to a Feb. 5 Maui News story, why do Hawaii education officials oppose public school cafeterias getting produce from school gardens? A. The fruits and vegetables don’t meet rigid food safety standards. B. A harvest may not provide enough produce for the school. C. Liability issues. D. Using school garden produce takes longer than just shipping it in. E. All of the above F. A and B only G. C and D only

A. “We’re either going to have to improve the quality of what we’re doing in the Pro Bowl or consider other changes or even consider eliminating the game if that’s the kind of quality game we’re going to provide.” B. “I really didn’t think that was the kind of football that we want to be demonstrating for our fans.” C. “The whole thing’s just a publicity stunt anyway that no one takes seriously.” D. “The fans were actively booing in the

3. That big construction site between Kahului Airport and Costco–according to the Feb. 4 Maui News, what’s it going to be? A. A new medical center. B. A new hotel. C. A new outlet center. D. A Target. E. A new Super-Ultra-Mega Burger franchise.

See answers, page 29

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NEWS&VIEWS

Coconut Wireless

Talk of the Island

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

WILL HB2652 KILL AKAKU? And now for a subject near and dear to all of our hearts: public access cable. For decades now, we’ve cracked jokes about the production values of public access shows and snickered at the off-the-wall subject matters of various public-produced programs. And yes, I once saw (on a California public access cable channel) an episode of Star Trek acted out using sock puppets. It was epic. In later years, though, gentle ribbing has given way to outright political destruction. Or, at least, a severe tightening of funding. I’m speaking about Akaku, Maui’s public access programming outfit. Executives there say the channel may die off entirely if a new bill becomes law. I’m writing of HB2652. Introduced by Robert N. Herkes (D-Hawaii Island) a few weeks ago, the bill would chop up Public, Educational and Governmental (PEG) funding into three separate entities. Oceanic Time Warner Cable loves the bill, and company President Bob Barlow testified on Jan. 30 that the bill will “help to ensure greater transparency, accountability and accessibility in PEG operations.” But according to Akaku president and CEO Jay April, HB2652 would starve the neighbor island public access channels to death. “The bottom line is that it is a very bad idea to split Hawaii’s marketplace of ideas into thirds,” April said in written testimony he submitted to the Consumer Protection and Commerce Committee on Jan 31. “It will diminish the open exchange of ideas between government and it’s [sic] people, stifle the voices we all need to hear and damage local electronic democracy.” The state Department of Commerce and Consumer Affairs agreed with April and opposes the bill. “The bill, as currently written, will adversely impact the neighbor islands, with Kauai and the island of Hawaii suffering the most,” said Donn Yabusaki, the DCCA’s cable television administrator in written testimony. “For the neighbor island franchise areas, splitting the current level of access funding three ways would severely limit the capabilities of access organizations.” In any case, on Feb. 6 Herkes’ committee deferred the bill until Feb. 13. What happens then is anybody’s guess.

COUNTY SAYS MAUI PD NEVER HARASSED ANYONE Had an interesting chat last week with County of Maui Communications Director Rod Antone. We talked about a number of things going on with Maui and the current

mayoral administration, but soon our talk got around to a recent write-up in this space on the Occupy Monsanto protests in Kihei that took place the last week in January. “Do you really think the county cares about the protests?” Antone asked me. According to Antone, Maui police officers were not “harassing” the protesters, who were standing on Pi’ilani Highway in front

protesters showing a Maui police officer telling them they needed a permit, Antone said that was for a porta-potty. “But they can’t camp there, so they couldn’t get a permit for one,” he said. Given that we’re entering a political season, in which candidates and their supporters often stand on roadsides, mere inches away from speeding cars while

they met with mayor and Public Works Director David Goode, among others. Antone also said that a few of the protesters also visited Arakawa’s office (see photo), though he said that he didn’t know what to make of the gentleman on the right (who’s also holding a copy of MauiTime). “See that plastic thing?” Antone asked. “What is that?” Well, I’d say it’s pretty obvious what it is: it’s an octopus made of trash bags. And if you can think of a better way to gain publicity for your cause than by draping an octopus made of trash bags around your head and shoulders, I’d like to hear it.

SPEAKING OF OCCUPY... Looks like the folks at Occupy Wall Street-Maui (which is pretty much the same thing as Occupy Monsanto, I think) are really going to ratchet up the heat on the county. Their little Occupy protest at the State Office Building in Wailuku may not have gone so hot (they left after a state official asked them politely to leave) but now they’re pumped. I know this because I just got an What is that plastic thing? email from them saying they just “opened a new front in the campaign to help local homeowners threatened with illegal foreclosures.” So what’s it this time? Will of Monsanto’s Kihei headquarters, wearing waving signs at passing motorists, it’ll be activists rush the bank mortgage offices? masks and waving signs opposing the interesting to see if Maui PD takes their Are they going to post personal details company’s extensive genetically modified safety into the same consideration as the of bankers online? How about an oldorganism (GMO) research and development. Monsanto protests. fashioned sit-in in the county council “All the officers said was not to stand too But Antone also added that some of chambers itself? close to the highway and not to camp there,” the protesters visited one of Mayor Alan “A letter released today to the Bureau Antone said. “Otherwise, they can stand in Arakawa’s County on Your Corner of Conveyances, Hawaii’s sole registry of the hot Kihei sun all they want.” meetings, which was held on Jan. 28 at the titles and mortgages, draws their attention As far as the video footage shot by the Queen Kaahumanu Center. Antone said to the unearthing of widespread title and mortgage fraud through forensic audits of property registries on the mainland,” wrote Linda Green of the Occupy organization’s “Foreclosure Working Group” on Feb. 4. “With hard data on the state of titles and mortgages in the state, the State would be equipped to take effective action helping homeowners faced with fraudulent claims against their property... The audit requested by the Occupy Wall Street-Maui group is the basis and beginning of the process, and perhaps may offer a glimmer of hope for many faced with losing their homes.” Damn straight! That’ll show–wait, they’re asking for an audit? So kids are getting pepper-sprayed and clubbed in Oakland and Detroit, but here on Maui we’ll settle for an audit. Now does everyone understand why that one guy made an octopus out of trash bags? ■ -Guy on Market Street in Wailuku, Feb. 6 anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro

Overheard

“What was I supposed to do at Wal-Mart for a couple hours? Just hang out and watch moms beat their kids?”

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FEBRUARY 9, 2012

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FEBRUARY 9, 2012

NEWS&VIEWS

MauiSphere

LOCAL PLUGS

BY JEN RUSSO

BLACK HISTORY MONTH COMES TO MAKAWAO The mop, dimmer switch, traffic light, ironing board and remote control are just a few of the things invented by African-Americans. Adesina Ogunelese, a noted historian of African and African-American history, knows all about them because she began teaching about black inventors in 2006 in an after-school program. A fixture in Maui libraries and schools since then, she will share knowledge like this with Maui’s youth in a series of readings for Black History Month under the theme of “Divas, Dancers and a Millionaire” at the Makawao Public Library.

known about them, I would have had the stamina to pursue this dream further.” Most of the books in her series this month have come from the Makawao Library, where she goes at least twice a week to see what’s new and browse through the books. Ogunelese believes that our own educational system does leave something to be desired when it comes to teaching the spectrum of cultural history. “All children need to know what their own culture has accomplished,” she says. “They draw inspiration from that. On the shoulders of our ancestors we stand, but if our stories are never told, hidden or distorted, how can they aspire to their own greatness? There is more to life than white American history. Quite frankly, I was bored in school with it, but had Black history, American Indian, Mexican, Chinese, etc. been part of the framework of American history and each culture had a chance to see how they had a hand in building this land, then it would have been much more interesting.”

TALKING HAWAIIAN HISTORY IN LAHAINA

Adesina Ogunelese

“I grew up in the '50s and '60s where not much Black History was taught in schools,” said Ogunelese. “So when I discovered the rich history of my people at 16 I vowed to make it a life long practice to read and discover as much as I can of the hidden history of my culture. I realized then that it is only your history when you tell it. So what I do is pick a subject that I am interested in and read all the books I can on that subject. I am a avid reader, and I can consume three to four different books at a time. “I enjoy giving these programs so that young children can be inspired to do great things with their lives at a young age,” Ogunelese continued. “I had wanted to learn to fly when I was 16. I joined the Civil Air Patrol in Philadelphia, but was the only girl and only black in the program. Even though I was second in my class on the exams, they wouldn’t allow me to fly, saying that girls could only do the radio. I didn’t know about Bessie Coleman, a black woman who traveled to France in the 1920s and received her pilot's license. Nor did I hear about the heroic deeds and flying of the Red Tail pilots in World War II. Perhaps if I had

A panel of four historians involved in Lahaina Town restoration will discuss sites that need work at this month’s Maui Native Hawaiian Chamber of Commerce meeting on Tuesday, Feb. 14 at 5:30pm at Maui Tropical Plantation. The Maui Native Hawaiian Chamber of Commerce meets monthly to promote and sustain Hawaiian culture and enhance the socioeconomic status of Native Hawaiians. Planning consultant Chris Hart will speak at the meeting about supporting g the 49-year-old historic restoration plan that has yet to be completed. A panel of historians will also address several

Governor Abercrombie at a recent solar panel installation for MACC historic sites in Lahaina, which Hart considers “the cultural watershed of Hawaii.” Hart, a former Maui County Planning Director and current CEO of Chris Hart & Partners, worked on the Lahaina Historic Distric 1 Plan. It was conceived in postwar Maui when the Westside was not yet a tourist destination. In 1962, the Maui County Council formally created Lahaina District 1. The Lahaina Restoration Foundation, County of Maui, Na Kupuna 'o Maui and other organizations have contributed to the implementation of parts of the plan, but several Hawaiian sites still await completion. Membership in the Maui Native Hawaiian Chamber of Commerce is open to all who share and practice Hawaiian values and seek to promote and sustain Hawaiian culture. Their monthly meeting and forum is open to the public. Cocktails networking begins at 5:30pm and n and the dinner and forum begin at 6pm. 6p

TWEET of the WEEK “Dear Hawaiian airlines check in lady at Kahului, try to be nice + smile next time. Your life will be much better that way. Aloha, Bethany” -@bethanyhamilton (Kauai surfer Bethany Hamilton), Feb. 7

To attend the meeting contact Kai Pelayo at 874-2426 or at kai.pelayo@grandwailea.com.

GOVERNOR ABERCROMBIE TO DINE WITH WIRE Maui women are invited to join the newlyformed local chapter of Women in Renewable Energy (WiRE) for a Q&A luncheon featuring Governor Neil Abercrombie on Feb. 9 at UH Maui College’s Class Act Restaurant from 11:30am to 1pm. WiRE is a networking association for women helping to create a sustainable Hawaii powered by clean energy. WiRE is an inclusive group of women who are active in the various sectors of renewable energy as well as those who may support the cause through activities or work in related fields. The luncheon is $14 for members and $18 for non-members. The price includes a three-course lunch provided by the Maui Culinary Academy. You can become a member at hawaiiwire.org/membership. RSVP for the event by Feb. 7 at hawaiiwire. org. Space is limited. For more information, visit hawaiiwire.org or email Jennifer Chirico, Sustainable Living Institute of Maui at jchirico@hawaii.edu.

BALDWIN HIGH TURNS 75 Who knew Baldwin High School was so old? Lahainaluna celebrated their 75th anniversary with a town parade in 2006, so perhaps Baldwin will do the same. The festivities will be tentatively held in the fall of 2013. Alumni, staff, and other individuals interested in helping to plan the anniversary events are encouraged to attend this first planning meeting. For more information, call Terry Miller at 984-5656 ext. 256 or Lynn Araki-Regan at 280-1299. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1534n2

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NEWS&VIEWS

NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY CHUCK SHEPARD GOVERNMENT IN ACTION A 2007 federal energy-independence law required companies that supply motor fuel in the U.S. to blend in a certain cellulose-based ingredient starting in 2011–even though (as the Environmental Protection Agency well knows) the ingredient doesn’t exist. A New York Times reporter checked with the EPA in January and found that the companies will still have to pay the monetary penalties for noncompliance (and almost certainly the even-stiffer penalties for 2012, since the ingredient is still two or three years from development). “It belies logic,” said a petrochemicals trade association executive.

CULTURAL DIVERSITY Two dozen religious leaders in India’s Karnataka state are, as usual, protesting the annual, centuries-old Hindu ritual in which lowercaste people roll around in food leftovers of upper-caste people. “Hundreds” performed the exercise at temples, according to a January Times of India report, believing that contact with sophisticates’ food will alleviate pernicious skin conditions.

too-aggressive proselytizing on behalf of Christian religions. For the record, the academy currently has 11 Muslim cadets, 16 Buddhists, 10 Hindus and 43 self-described atheists.

MILESTONES IN GOVERNMENT REGULATION According to recent consumer-protection rulings by the European Food Safety Authority, sellers of prunes are prohibited from marketing them as laxatives, and sellers of bottled water are forbidden to offer it as preventing dehydration. In both cases, the commissioners referred to the underlying science of the body to defend their decisions, but the rulings were still widely derided as anti-common-sense. Members of the European Parliament complained, especially given the current precarious state of the European Union itself. One parliamentarian challenged an EFSA policymaker to a prune-eating contest: If it’s not a laxative, he said, let’s see how many you can eat and not have your “bowel function” “assisted.”

Far away from Karnataka, in the urban center of Calcutta, India, engineers are trying to save the historic Howrah Bridge from collapsing due to corrosion from spit. A half-million pedestrians (aside from the frenzied vehicle traffic) use the bridge every day and frequently spit their guthka and paan (half-chewed betel leaf and areca nut and slaked lime) onto the steel hangers that hold up the bridge–thus reducing the hanger bases by 50 percent in just the last three years. (Engineers’ immediate remedies: cover the bases in washable fiberglass and conduct an education campaign in which “gods” implore pedestrians to hold their saliva until they’ve crossed the bridge.)

STILL AT LARGE!

CHUTZPAH!

On Nov. 5, the 220 inhabitants of Coll, an island off the coast of Scotland, endured the first “crime” that any of the residents could remember. Someone vandalized the public lavatories at a visitors’ facility, doing the equivalent of about $300 damage. A constable was summoned from a nearby island to investigate, but seas were rough, and he had to wait for two days for the ferry to run. One Coll resident vaguely recalled an incident at a pub once in which a man threatened to throw a punch (but didn’t), and another remembered that someone took whale bones left on a beach by researchers (but later gave them back). According to a Daily Telegraph report, the culprit is “still at large.”

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS

LATEST RELIGIOUS MESSAGES The U.S. Air Force Academy last year installed an $80,000 rock garden/fire pit on its campus for use by several “Earth-based” religions (pagans, Wiccans, druids, witches and various Native American faiths). For the current year, only three of the 4,300 cadets have identified themselves in that group, but the academy is sensitive to the issue after a 2005 lawsuit accused administrators and cadets of allowing

ehbrah@mauitime.com

E

h activity guys: You all say you’re concerned about marine life. How about all of the sunscreen your customers are wearing while snorkeling? Or how about your customers stepping on the reef and killing coral? Or how about the pollutants from your boats that give green sea turtles tumors? I overheard one of your minions saying she wasn’t concerned about the reef, only the animals. The reef is vital to the support of marine life! Get your facts straight and stop trying to prevent marine fish enthusiasts from responsibly enjoying marine life in their own homes instead of becoming suntan oil slicks that you create with your own business! Auwe! Shame on you! ■

OOPS! In December in Yamaguchi prefecture, Japan, a group of luxury car enthusiasts gathered and began a caravan to nearby Hiroshima, but one of the drivers, changing lanes, hit a median barrier and spun across the highway, resulting in a chain-reaction pileup involving 14 cars, including eight red Ferraris, a Lamborghini and two Mercedes-Benz. Drivers suffered only cuts and bruises, but “some” of the vehicles were reported “beyond repair.” And David Dopp of Santaquin, Utah, won a fundraising raffle sponsored by the non-profit organization “teamgive” in November–a Lamborghini Murcielago, valued at about $380,000. He picked up his prize on Dec. 17, but six hours later, he spun out of control, knocked over several fence posts, and disabled the Murcielago’s front end.

SPITTING IMAGE

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

Illustration by Ron Pitts mauiartistronpitts.com

Logan Alexander, 63, a school security guard in Trenton, N.J., who was fired after pleading guilty in 2007 to twice inappropriately touching students, was later sued by a third girl for similar behavior but settled that lawsuit in 2010 by agreeing to pay the girl $12,500. Recently, according to a December report in the Trenton Times, Alexander filed a lawsuit against the Trenton Board of Education, demanding that the board pay the $12,500 to the girl because, after all, Alexander was “on duty” when he committed the inappropriate touching.

In Bennington, Vt., in December, Adam Hall, 34, was accused of vandalizing his exgirlfriend’s car, including scratching the word “slut” into the hood (except that the word was spelled s-u-l-t). Hall initially denied any involvement until an officer handed him a sheet of paper and asked him to write the sentence, “You are a slut.” Sure enough, Hall spelled slut “sult” and was promptly charged with malicious mischief. ■ chuck@mauitime.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1534n3

FEBRUARY 9, 2012

9

Hawaiian Lovers throughout history and mythology By Anthony Pignataro and Anu Yagi

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n her sprawling 2006 book Rough Riders: Hawai‘i’s Paniolo and their Stories, author Ilima Loomis (who also reports for The Maui News) told the story of Eloise Taniguchi, who grew up on Kipukai Ranch on Kauai and “resolved from an early age that she would never marry a cowboy.” Life in Hawaii is rarely so simple, however, and Eloise eventually met Eddie Taniguchi, a one-eyed, third-generation paniolo. “I didn’t think we were going to fall in love, really, with one another,” Eloise told Loomis. “But then when my parents had condemned my husband, from his head to his toe, that’s when I made up my mind: If they’re going for looks, I don’t go for looks.” It’s a familiar love story, sure, but there’s something familiar about most love stories,

which above all reassure us that the aff ffection ti and d affi ffirmation ti we wantt iis not only real, but potentially close by. Love stories can be sweet to the point of syrupy sickness, but they can also serve as cautionary tales of what happens when emotional attraction runs wild. Hawaii is such a romantic place, we thought we’d celebrate Valentine’s Day with a selection of some of the islands’ best love stories. Some come from Hawaii’s deep mythology, while others have more grounding in fact. But all of them have one commonality: the attractive forces between two people are not to be taken lightly. htly. Plus one of the tales features a detachable flying vagina. Enjoy! ❤

The Power Couple W

e’ll start with a famous one. He was a tall and powerful man, full of confidence and intelligence–the greatest warrior of his time. “She was beautiful, she was imperious and intelligent,” wrote the historian Cummins E. Speakman, Jr. in his 1978 book Mowee. They were Kamehameha and Kaahumanu, the powerful Hawaiian chief who used cunning, skill and overwhelming military force to unite most of the islands and the Hana-born woman who would become his favorite wife.

According to Hawaiian historian S. M. Kamakau, Kamehameha’s love for Kaahumanu was no joke. “All her requests were granted,” Kamakau wrote. “She was allowed to enter the meetings of the high council.” But Kaahumanu’s love for Kamehameha was more than just the love of a woman for a man. Apparently, Speakman wrote, Kaahumanu had a thing for chiefs. Historians assume she was saddened by Kamehameha’s 1804 death, but she didn’t exactly live the life of a solitary widow after he died. In fact, Kaahumanu was, through new marriages, able to succeed where her

first husband had failed. After Kamehameha’s death, Kaahumanu “virtually kidnapp[ed]” Kauai’s chief Kaumualii, Speakman wrote. She then married him, finally bringing Kauai auai formally into the Hawaiian n Islands. But she didn’t stop there: upon Kaumualii’s umualii’s death, death Kaahumanu married his son. Like Speakman said, the woman loved chiefs. ❤

Hina, the Helen of Hawaii I

t’s with fascination–and some forgiveness–that we read King David Kalakaua’s tome, The Myths and Legends of Hawaii–The Fables and Folk-Lore of a Strange People. This collection of stories is “a curious mixture of authentic Hawaiian oral traditions recast in a Victorian Gothic style,” as Glen Grant describes in the book’s foreword, and showcases the “political and cultural contexts” of Hawaii circa 1888. And while all mythology evolves, Kalakaua’s work is a stunning example of the dramatic metamorphosis of Hawaiian myth after its having “undergone one hundred years of tremendous upheaval” in a time when “cultural relativism was an unknown concept to [those] who promulgated the notion that evidence of cultural decline was in fact a sign of progress.” Though Grant points out that “the simplicity and beauty of the original tale sometimes seems lost in these Gothic embellishments,” that which is baroque is inherently beautiful and Kalakaua’s cadence is kingly, albeit clunky. As “the first royal monarch to circumnavigate the globe,” Kalakaua was an exceptionally learned and traveled man and his “frequent allusions to Greco-Roman and medieval times” make evident both his intimate understanding of Western lore and his apparently keen desire to elevate Hawaiian culture in world-view. No more is this evident than in his telling of “Hina, The Helen of Hawaii.” “The story of the Iliad is a dramatic record of the love and hate, wrong and revenge, courage and custom, passion and superstition, of mythical Greece” writes Kalakaua. “[It] embraces in a single brilliant recital events which the historic bards of other lands, lacking the genius of Homer, have sent down the centuries in fragments. Human nature has been substantially the same in all ages, differing only in the ardor of its passions and appetites as affected by the zone of its habitat and its peculiar physical surroundings. Hence almost every nation, barbarous and civilized, has

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FEBRUARY 9, 2012

had its Helen and its Troy, its Paris and its Agamemnon, its Hector and its demi-gods; and Hawaii is not an exception.” Just as Sparta’s Queen Helen and her abduction/seduction by Troy’s King Paris was the impetus of the Trojan War, Hawaii’s Hina was the crux of legendary warfare in the isles: “Hina, the most beautiful maiden in all Hawaii; Hina, whose eyes were like stars and whose hair fell in waves below the fringes of her pau; Hina whose name has come down to us through the centuries garlanded with song.” Foreboding filled Hina’s mother Uli, a sorceress, ahead of Hina’s first marriage to Hilo’s Hakalanileo–a recent descendant of the more prominent of “alien chiefs” who came in the twelfth century, “near the close of the final migration of Tahiti, Samoa, and perhaps other islands of Polynesia.” Uli warned that Hakalanileo “guard her well, for I can see that some day the winds will snatch her from you, and you will behold her not again for many years.” Sure enough, six years later, Hina was stalked and snatched from Hilo and “the winds that bore her hence filled the sails of the great barge of Kaupeepee”–a young chief who prided himself in tracing his lineage several centuries prior and hailed from Molokai as the eldest son of the isle’s “resolute old chief [Kamauaua, who] had from their infancy instilled into his sons a hatred of the southern spoilers and a resolution to resist their aggressions to the bitter end.” The capture of pretty ladies was not uncommon then, when warfare was frequent but “of plunder rather than conquest... Women were sometimes the booty coveted by [Kaupeepee’s] buccaneers and during their raids many a screaming beauty was seized and borne to their stronghold on Molokai, where in most instances she was so kindly treated that she soon lost all desire to be liberated.” Such was the case with Hina, who at first was grieved by the separation from her two sons Kana and Niheu and

“dreams [of] the home for which she had been ravished.” But soon Hina was swayed by Kaupeepee’s “love [which] gently wooed her thoughts from the past and made sweet the bondage which he shared with her.” For upwards of two decades, Hina and Kaupeepee lived together in Haupu, a “well-nigh impregnable” fortress on Molokai’s north end where “the mountains hug the ocean so closely as to leave nothing between them and the surfbeaten shores but a succession of steep, narrow and rugged promontories jutting out into the sea, and separated from each other by gorge-like and gloomy little valleys gashing the hills and, like dragons, forever swallowing and ejecting the waves that venture too near their rocky jaws.” But when Hina’s sons reached manhood–each endowed by Uli with supernatural powers–the warrior pair and their legion set out to solve the mystery of their long-disappeared mother. But as Kaupeepee had promised Hina upon their meeting, “You are like no other woman; I am like no other man. Such companionship has approval of the gods, and you will leave Haupu only when its walls have been battered down and [I lie] dead among the ruins,” he again avowed that “should Haupu be taken [for Hina’s sake], go and count the corpses around its walls, and you will not blush to see how the son of Kamauaua has died!” And die he did. “The slaughter was frightful... Not one of Haupu’s defenders escaped...” writes Kalakaua. “Kaupeepee and the last of his devoted band sprang from the blazing building to die at the throats of their enemies... Hina was found uninjured, and, while there was great joy to her in the embrace of her sons and aged mother, she wept over the death of Kapeepee, who with his love had made light her long imprisonment... Hina returned to her husband in Hilo, after a separation of nearly eighteen years, thus bringing to close one of the most romantic legends of early Hawaiian chivalry.” ❤

Sweetheart Rock O

ne of the great aspects of Hawaiian mythology is that the ancients weren’t shy about making their tales dark. In fact, some, like the story of Sweetheart Rock on Lanai, are pretty much Greek tragedies. As is usually the case, our story concerns a beautiful maiden and a young, strapping warrior. Pehe, the maiden from Lanai, fell in love with Makakehau, the warrior from Lanai. In fact, Makakehau translates as “misty eyes,” ex-

pressing just how smitten he was with Pehe. Anyway, Makakehau–though romantic and dashing–was also a tad bit jealous. So much so that he imprisoned Pehe in a cave right on the peninsula shore between Manele Bay and Hulopo‘e. Then one day, a fierce storm rose while he was away, drowning Pehe before he could return and rescue her. Stricken with grief, Makakehau is said to have carried

Pehe’s body to the top of the sea stack that towers over the peninsula, entombed her within it and then leaped to his death. Today locals (and state tourist officials) refer to the sea stack as Sweetheart Rock. And there are bones buried there, as well, though according to George C. Munro’s The Story of Lanai, a 1921 archaeological expedition determined that they were merely those of dead sea birds. ❤

Forbidden Love A

nd n now for something even darker. Princess Nahiena‘ena and Prince Kauikeaouli (who later l became Kamehameha III) lived in the early ea half of the 19th century. They were brother and sister, but like many royals, that didn’t sstop them from becoming tender lovers. They hooked h up in 1834 (when she was 19) but the missionaries, mi wet blankets that they were, became becam enraged and expelled Nahiena‘ena a from the t church. Backing down, Nahiena‘ena married Ba d Leileiohoku Leile instead, but it was too late–she e was already pregnant with Kauikeaouli’s i’s child. chil A pariah from the church and her er own people, Nahiena‘ena gave birth alone. ne. Her He child died shortly after the birth, and nd then the she died at the all too young age of 21. It’s It’ said that after he became king, Kamemehameha ha III often visited her grave in Lahaina. h The writer Wayne Moniz fictionalized much m of this for his short story “The Cruel Sun,” which he included c in his 2009 book Under Maui Skies (published by Koa Books in Kihei). “There were few documents about the couple, and those were dry narratives merely of what took place,” Moniz wrote in his book. “In this story, as author, I could provide a chance for readers to listen in on their affections, their dreams, and battles with personal demons and missionaries. If II’ve ve caught you up in the love shared by these two, then I will have succeeded as a writer.” er.” ❤

Kapo’s Detachable (Flying!) Vagina T

oday, the Pele myth is the most infamous of our igneous isles’ lore. Prolific artworks in her honor aside, Pele’s renown is perhaps best (and most humorously) evidenced in the phenomena whereby thousands of tourists, under the sway of modernized lore, have mailed back to their hotels the small stones they’d stolen as souvenirs, with notes c/o concierges that beg forgiveness of the fire goddess for having transgressed her. Popular as Pele is, many are already aware of her legendary love affair with the Lohiau, a young chief of Kauai, and the myriad scandalous stories that surround what American ethnographer Martha Beckwith describes in her book Hawaiian Mythology (considered a seminal scholarly work on the subject) as a myth which “continues at great length.” So in the interest of time, we’ll skip ahead to the lesser (though no less intriguing) part of the Pele tale where she’s saved from Kamapua‘a (a horny pig demigod) by her sister Kapo’s detachable flying cooch. Depending on the version of legend to which you adhere, Pele has four to 40 sisters. Kapo is one of them–a daughter of the sorceress Haumea–and “with her flying vagina is worshiped as an akua noho... a god who possesses the deified dead and gives commands or foretells events through [her] worshipers.” Kapo is said to have “entered a growing tree to save her human husband,

thereby so infecting it with deity as to be poisonous to all who cut it,” writes Beckwith. “The flash of light which marks the entrance into the tree of the god of lightning is a very old conception... [and] may derive from a primitive idea like that reported from Dobu [an island in Papua New Guinea], where people believe that fire from the pubes [yes, pubes] of flying witches is seen at night. This would explain such incidents in Hawaiian story ass the display of her person by a supernaturall e woman to frighten off a malicious ghost, or the use of her skirt to raise a thunderstorm.” al “Kapo’s power to separate her female sexual es organ from her body,” Beckwith writes, “gives he her the name of Kapo-kohe-lele (Kapo with the traveling vagina).” To give Pele time to escape an po attack by the overly amorous Kamapua‘a, Kapo ch lures him away with her flying vagina, which the went as far as Oahu’s massive Koko Crater–the frilled-edge declivity of which is said to be an impression of Kapo’s cooch. ❤ com editor@mauitime.com To share or save this article, type: ype: mt.hy.pr/1534L 534L

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Master Chocolatier Melanie Boudar sets up shop in Wailea BY JEN RUSSO

Sweet Paradise 34 Wailea Gateway Place 661-4764 Sweetparadisechocolate.com

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here is more to eating chocolate than just grabbing a Hershey bar at the checkout stand at the market. A lot more, like the fact that the cocoa industry is mired in slave labor issues and the quality of cheap chocolate is questionable because of corn syrups and chemical fillers. But satisfying your chocolate cravings is easy: just go to the new Sweet Paradise chocolate shop in Wailea, where master chocolatier Melanie Boudar’s artful chocolate creations reside. The shop sits next to Pita Paradise, and Boudar said she loves the location. It’s a hub of gourmet offerings with Guava Gouda and Caviar across the way. Inside the bright red walls, the shop is decked out with a full-size piano and red carpets. It’s hard to stand there and not feel the romance of chocolate. In fact, I half-expected a winged cherub to fly down from the ceiling and pop a chocolate in my mouth. When I walked in Boudar was decorating for Valentine’s Day by filling trays with red heart-shaped confections. The

Jewelry box full of chocolates!

chocolate pieces are quite dry to the touch, they don’t melt instantly in your fingers. Boudar said they’re room temperature stable and will last up to about three weeks in a cool place indoors–even in Lahaina! When you bite into one, it’s the perfect chocolate moment. Seriously, there’s nothing like it. The harder exterior on the truffle gives way and the silky innards melt on your tongue. Then a tang of passion fruit, or a zing of chili, or a drop of citrus gently fills your mouth. Then another bite, and then exhilarating moment is over. Two bites is not enough. You want more. You need more. Thankfully, Sweet Paradise is a melting pot of sweets: chocolate-covered mac nuts, body paints, bars and even gelato and sorbets. Boudar’s affinity for chocolate has been lifelong, which is clear to see from the images of her and her cousin eating frozen Milky Way bars that adorn the shop’s walls. But her ability to create some of the most decadent chocolates on

the planet is more recent. “I was in the jewelry business and I would travel to Belgium to buy diamonds where there is a chocolate shop on every corner,” Boudar said. “I got hooked.” Soon, she was making chocolates for her bed and breakfast clients. Later, she sought formal training as a chocolatier. She also traveled to Belize and Venezuela to see the cacao farming process in action. Cacao pods grow on the trees and must be harvested by hand. Then the pods are opened, revealing a white pulp with seeds on the inside. This is scraped out and fermented for a short time, and then the remaining brown beans are dried out to make raw cacao. Chocolate fans rarely see what the chocolate pod looks like, but Boudar has a larger-than-life photo mural on her wall so we can stay connected to this pleasure plant. The influences of her jewelry background linger. Sweet Paradise confections and their packaging are as close to edible jewels as you can get. Intricate paintings, edible gold dust and precise, uniform shapes glint and bedazzle. Her Valentine Box is sheer bliss–Boudar says she crafted special flavors for the heart-adorned window box: red velvet, essence of rose, lavender honey, salt caramel, nipples of venus (champagne chocolate) and red heart passion fruit. In fact, Boudar can infuse passion fruit, pineapple, lavender, macadamia nuts and virtually any local island ingredient into her chocolate. Boudar is as passionate about making her chocolates as she is about where she obtains the raw product, which is good because not all chocolatiers utilize fair trade chocolate. Shortly before last Halloween, advocates called out Hershey for using slave labor cacao in their products. “Chocolate is grown 20 degrees north or south of equator, and the largest producer of chocolate is Africa, but it is often not fair trade and may use child and slave labor,” Boudar said. “We source our raw products from Latin American countries that we know are producing fair trade beans.” Sweet Paradise goes through about 150 pounds of chocolate a week. They can do chocolate fountains, events, and ship chocolate around the world. The shop also carries other local chocolate products like the Wailua Chocolate bar, which is made on Dole’s 18 acre cacao farm on Oahu. “The flavor of Chocolate is affected by terroir,” Boudar said. “Cacao grown in Hawaii tends to have a fruity flavor. If you have tasted a

We'll take one of everything.

smoky chocolate that is probably from Indonesia where they use smoke in the process.” As for the price of chocolate, that relates to the health of the world’s cacao plants, which are very susceptible to disease. Boudar says there’s a current chocolate shortage, due to devastated crops that have driven up prices. Most chocolate is grown in poor countries and they aren’t the quickest to respond to disease. It’s critical to save the different genetic varieties of cacao. Sweet Paradise makes their chocolate at the Maui Tropical Plantation and plans to eventually grow cacao there. A Maui-grown chocolate is also in the works. But for now, you’ll have to get her chocolate in Wailea, where Boudar takes the sweet treats very seriously. As I was walking out with a bag of chocolate booty, Boudar called out to me. “Don’t put it in the fridge,” she said. “I am an extremist. Some people eat them straight out of the fridge cold but I won’t do that.” ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso

For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1534d1

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FOODIE NEWS BY JEN RUSSO

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ood is art, but art is, well, a whole other matter. Here’s a way you can satisfy art education, art collectors, art culture and the wonderful things going on at the Hui Noeau Visual Arts Center: attend their annual gala fundraiser at 5pm on Saturday, Feb. 25. Called “Pompeii: An Evening of Muses and Myth,” you can don your best Roman gowns and garments and participate in an arts event that mixes cocktails, silent auction, a gourmet dinner by Soup to Nutz, a live auction facilitated by Kip Toner, music by the Haiku Hillbillys and dancing with a vodka luge. The live auction is always entertaining, and gorgeous paintings, jewelry and sculptures created at the Hui will be up for grabs. Proceeds from this year’s event will benefit Hui youth arts education programming, which includes foundation arts workshops, free portfolio development programs, collaborations with local schools to integrate arts into the curriculum, scholarship programs for families unable to afford tuition and help in getting youth-at-risk and special-needs kids access to high-quality arts education for Maui youth. For reservations call 572-6560 or visit the event website at artaffairmaui.com;

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ere’s a chance to take a cooking class with Chef David Paul. Let one of the best chefs in Hawaii be your muse and mentor with his innovative style, love of Maui ingredients and dedication to craft. Join him for intimate lessons in his gorgeous and spacious restaurant kitchen beginning Sunday, Feb. 12, and every second and fourth Sun-

day of the month. “The last class I held here I told the group we were going to make tuna sandwiches,” said Paul. “You could see the eyes rolling around like this was going to be a waste of their time. [But] then I pulled off the cover of a 150-pound tuna to show them how to break it down, what to look for, what parts get used where, then how to make the focaccia bread and the aioli and so much more just to prepare a fabulous yet simple meal. Good food is simple, but simplicity is a relative term.” For more information call 662-3000 or visit davidpaulsislandgrill.com.

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hef Elaine Nakashima will be one of the state’s new health inspectors, so you know her kitchen at AK’s Cafe on Lower Main is spiffy. She will now be closed for lunch, but wants her fans and patrons to know that she’ll be open for dinner Mondays through Fridays from 5pm to 8:30pm. What’s more, she says her amazing prime rib will be available on Feb. 17, Feb. 20 and Mar. 2. On Valentine's Day she will have a special menu and two seatings, at 5:15pm and 7:15pm. Reservations are a must, so call 244-8774.

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tag’s Leap Vineyards are well known for the part they played in the 1976 blind wine tasting in Paris ,France that shook up the wine world. Their 1973 Stag’s Leap Wine Cellars S.L.V. Cabernet Sauvignon took top ranking in the reds, along with several other California wines. It was huge because the tasters were well-known French wine experts who probably wouldn’t have given these American wines the time of day had this been anything but a blind

gredients and flavors that blow me away, and combinations that really compliment the total wine experience. He is also an artist with plate presentation. I can’t say enough about what he brings to the table every time he creates a special for our dinner menu, or wows a special guest with a spur-of-the-moment creation.” The price is $85 per person and the event starts at 6pm. Reserve your spot at this dinner by calling 669-6299. The next evening, Chef Roger Stettler of Four Seasons Maui and Pruss will hold another wine pairing dinner. Stettler’s imaginative four-course dinner will feature delectables like confit of salmon trout, veal medallion with morel mushroom sauce and Maple Leaf Farm duck breast. “The art of food and wine pairing is a passion of mine,” Stettler. “The perfect pairing elevates the dining experience exponentially, and I’m especially excited to work with these selections.” The dinner costs $160 per person. Plantation House Stag's Leap Dinner with Nicki Pruss Space is limited, so reserve a seat by emailing concierge.maui@ fourseasons.com or calling 808-874-2201. the Plantation House Restaurant for a majen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso jestic wine pairing that involves five courses and Stags Leap wines. For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s “Chef de Cuisine Maro Gjurasic has crefood blog at: mauidish.com ated some exceptional menus,” said Plantation House executive chef Alex Stanislaw. “Maro To share or save this article, type: is an incredibly talented chef, and a bona fide mt.hy.pr/1534d2 wine enthusiast as well. He puts together intasting (the 2008 movie Bottle Shock dramatized the competition). Stag’s Leap has remained a Napa Valley powerhouse ever since. Stag’s Leap Winemaker Nicki Pruss is no exception. Originally headed for career in podiatric medicine, a bike ride across Europe called her to winemaking. From winery intern, she rose to winemaker inside of seven years. “Winemaking offers the chance to combine the technical aspects of science and artistry,” said Pruss. “I enjoy the creative challenge of working with nature to produce world-class wines.” On Thursday, Feb. 16, Pruss will appear at

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Special Dinner for Two $120/couple

Appetizer

Cold Seafood Appetizer for Two w/ Fresh Oysters, Crab Claws & Prawns Cocktail

Salad

2 Small House Salads

Entree Choices (1 choice per couple) Whole Hawaiian Fish

Seafood Tower w/ Crab Legs, Whole Panko Prawns & Tristan Lobster Tails Ribeye & Lobster Tails

Dessert Choices (2 choices per couple) Chocolate Ganache

*TONY NOVAK-CLIFFORD PHOTOGRAPHY

Layered Strawberry Parfait Dessert Trio w/ Mini Mango Brulee, Mini Macadamia Nut Pie & Mini Adrian’s Delight *Regular Menu is also available.

FEATURING ROMANTIC JAZZ BY

THE BENOITS 6:30-9:30PM

RESERVE A TABLE FOR YOU & YOUR SWEETHEART TODAY

808.244.5426 OR www.BUZZSWHARF.com 16

FEBRUARY 9, 2012

PICKS

This Week’s Picks

DIVERSIONS, DALLIANCES & DATES BY ANU YAGI

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 9 P PUSH IT TO THE PETER MAX – To celebrate the grand opening of The A Art of Peter Max Gallery at The Shops at Wailea, Governor Neil Abercromb bie will be presented with an original painting of the Hawaiian flag–created e especially for da Gov by Max himself. Plus, gallery owner David Hakan will re reveal more than 30 new original acrylic paintings from Max’s “Maui Series,” w which depicts “Maui images wrapped in the kaleidoscope of vivid colors that aare unmistakably Peter Max.” Over a career spanning more than five decades, M Max has been called “a Pop Icon, Neo Fauvist, Abstract Expressionist and A America’s ‘Painter Laureate.’” (Note: Though Max was originally scheduled to aappear at the event, he’s been unable to make the trip to Maui due to a family e emergency. Grand opening events will continue as scheduled.) Free. 1pm. T The Art of Peter Max Gallery (The Shops at Wailea, 3750 Wailea A Alanui Dr.); 495-0060; petermax.com

SZYMANOWSKI QUARTET – If rousing romantic music makes your heartstrings soar, prepare to fall in love with the Szymanowski Quartet, featuring Andrej Bielow, Grzegorz Kotow, Vladimir Mykytka and Marcin Sieniawski. Founded in Warsaw in 1995, this exceptional group was awarded the Medal of Honor by the Polish government for their contribution to Polish culture, and were prizewinners at the Osaka International Chamber Music Competition and the Melbourne International Chamber Music Competition. $12 / $30 / $40. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 10 BAMBU STATION’S CHILDREN OF EXODUS CD RELEASE PARTY – Hailing from the Virgin Islands, Bambu Station returns to the Valley Isle to celebrate the release of their latest album, Children of Exodus. While that’s cool, it’s worth a trip Upcountry just for the rootsy rock of the show’s opening act, Maui’s own Rootz N Creation (who last week had the Casanova house hopping when backing Kingston’s Gavinchi). $20. 10pm. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 572-0220; casanovamaui.com / bambustationband.com

PHOTO BY SEAN MICHAEL HOWER

THE COMEDY HYPNOSIS OF JOSHUA BLUE – Do you like to laugh at people who get hypnotized and then do crazy stuff that they’d never do when actually conscious of their actions? Or would you rather become hypnotized yourself, and thrill strangers with your hypnoantics? (Don’t worry, though: you probably won’t remember behaving in odd, embarrassing ways.) Since master hypnotist Joshua Blue will orchestrate “a frenzy of wild and crazy, over-the-top shenanigans among the friends you arrive with,” we’re guessing it’s best to go alone. Unless you enjoy being the life of the party... $10. 9:30pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 South Kihei Rd.); 8743779; stellablues.com

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 11

PHOTO BY JAMIE SOJA

THE MAGIC OF KORA: HIGH ENERGY SENEGALESE HARP MUSIC WITH YOUSSOUPHA SIDIBE – Built from a calabash covered in cow hide, the kora is a West African bridge harp with a bright but haunting tone. It takes a masterful musician to play the kora’s 21 strings (11 with the left hand and 10 with the right), and Youssoupha Sidibe is exactly that. In fact, he’s so good that he received a Grammy nomination for his kora work in collaboration with Matisyahu. $12. 8pm. Mandala Ethnic Arts (29 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 5799555; mandalaecohomes.com

KEALI’I REICHEL & HALAU KE’ALAOKAMAILE PRESENT KUKAHI 2012 – Sat. & Sun., Feb. 11-12. The awardwinning Halau Ke’alaokamaile is helmed by none other than Keali’i Reichel, who’s renowned as one of Hawaii’s most popular recording artists. The group’s annual fundraiser is so gorgeously grand, they have to produce the show on not one, but two nights. To this, we’ve got two words to say: just go. $12 / $35 / $45 / $55. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242SHOW (7469); mau mauiarts.org

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 12 BE MINE, BAILEY! – We can’t help but love the Bailey House Museum, our isle’s little hub of local history, whose mission is to “collect, preserve, study, interpret and share the history and heritage of Maui.” And we especially love the Bailey House’s special ‘Ohana Days, when afternoon admission is half-off and their gorgeous grounds are filled with families having fun. This Sun., museum stewards encourage you to bring your guitar or ‘ukulele to play-and sing-along in an old fashioned kani ka pila (Hawaiian style jam session). $3 adults / $2 seniors / free for keiki 12-years-old and younger. 12-4pm. Bailey House Museum (2375-A Main St., Wailuku); 244-3326; mauimuseum.org

PHOTO BY LINDA TURNBULL

DOGGIE STYLE SPEED DATING – Are you lookin’ for a bitch who’s gonna love you unconditionally? This Sun., find your perfect match at the Maui Humane Society’s “Doggie Speed Dating” adoption event. The shelter’s the “temporary digs” for dogs of “every shape, size and color... each with their own unique doggie personality, just waiting to meet their match [and] be adopted into a loving home forever.” The dogs will be brought out of their kennels and held on a leash for prospective adopters to meet each one up-close for three minutes each (a la human speed dating), as shelter staff and volunteers assist with the introductions. Plus, a special discount of 50 percent-off adoption fees is offered for any adoptions resulting from the event. 11am-1pm. Maui Humane Society (Mokulele Hwy.; look for the big red dog); 877-3680 ext. 23; mauihumanesociety.org

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 13 PROFILING BLACK OPERA DIVAS: MARIAN ANDERSON AND LEONTYNE PRICE - Adesina Ogunelese, a noted African and African-American historian, presents a lecture profiling two of opera’s most celebrated singers: contralto Marian Anderson and soprano Leontyne Price. Anderson was the first AfricanAmerican woman to sing opera onstage and in 1939 performed an acclaimed open-air Easter concert on the steps of Lincoln Memorial to an audience of 75,000. And in the late 1950s, Price–who benefitted from Anderson’s trailblazing–was one of the first African-Americans to become a leading artist at the Metropolitan Opera. This free presentation is part of a special Black History Month series by Ogunelese, with other lectures including “Black History Children’s Story Hour” (Sat., Feb. 11), “Profiling Black Ballet Dancers” (Wed., Feb. 22) and “The First Black Female Millionaire” (Mon., Feb. 27). For more about these events, see our Da Kine Calendar (beginning on page 22). To read an interview with Ogunelese, see MauiSphere by Jen Russo (on page 7). Free. 6pm. Makawao Public Library (1159 Makawao Ave.); 573-8785

VALENTINE’S DAY-INSPIRED “ONO!” AT ‘IAO THEATER - Every second Monday of the month, Maui OnStage hosts a special “ONO!” (One Night Only!) show. By popular demand, February’s production sees the return of Lee me and Beth Garrow, who present a Valentine’s Day theme ed night of romantic comedy vignettes and song performed by Dylan Bode, Reuben Carrion, Gracie Clark, Steven and Alexis Dascoulias, Ute Finch, and Sharleen Lagattuta. Also, fresh roses (for your sweetheart or yourself) will be available for a donation of $5 to the theater. Free. 6:30pm. Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 244-8680; mauionstage.com

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 14 SHOT THROUGH THE HEART - Bunch of freaks, those ancient Romans and Greeks. Over the last couple millennia, their mythologies’ indubitable influence on the Western world has stuck us with the twisted iconography of Cupid. Ah, yes–nothing speaks to love and lust more than a naked (occasionally diapered) flying baby shooting arrows into our bloodiest vital organ. And once you’ve been shot–whether you like it

or not–you’re forever, hopelessly in love with the person of Cupid’s choosing. If you’re like us, and prefer the idea of making your own luck in love–but are looking for where to go and what to do on Valentine’s Day and Night–check out our roundup on page 18. PHOTO BY JEANE MCMAHON

FEBRUARY 9, 2012

17

PICKS

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA’S THE AWARDS

CASANOVA’S FAMOUS LADIES NIGHT BACK TO THE FUTURE W/ DJ BLAST & CHILLTOWN MUSIC STARTS @ 10PM + $10 COVER

THURSDAY FEBRUARY 9TH

MAUI STAND UP COMEDY

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI� “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI�

SHOW STARTS AT 9:30PM $10 COVER CHINO LA FORGE & GUESTS SHOW STARTS AT 10PM $20 COVER

FRIDAY FEBRUARY 10TH FROM THE VIRGIN ISLANDS

“CHILDREN OF EXODUS� CD RELEASE PARTY

BAMBU STATION ROOTZ ‘N CREATION

SATURDAY FEBRUARY 11TH DISTINCT PRESENTS

DANCE TILL YOU DIE

SHOW STARTS AT 10PM $10 COVER

DJ STELLAR: ELECTRONICA + DJ TARA BROOKS: TRIBAL HOUSE

SUNDAY FEBRUARY 12TH MANA’O RADIO PRESENTS

UPCOUNTRY SUNDAY ACOUSTIC STYLE

SHOW STARTS AT 2PM $7 DONATION

THE HAIKU HILLBILLYS

MICHAEL BERNIER + COHEN - ELAINE RYAN SHOW STARTS AT 8PM $20 COVER

TUESDAY FEBRUARY 14TH

WILLIE K & HIS BAND “CARZONI D’ AMORE� (LOVE SONGS) SPECIAL GUEST TONI

PACINO FROM PARIS

MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING + DINE & DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS CALL 808.572.0220 LOG ON AT WWW.CASANOVAMAUI.COM

HAPPY HOUR 3-6PM/LIVE / MUSIC EVERY WEEKEND

THURSDAY 2.9

SOUL CONGRESS

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SATURDAY S ATURDAY AT TURDAY Y 2.11

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FEBRUARY 9, 2012

Valentine’s Day Roundup Because we love you, here’s a mash-up of mushy gushy stuff to do from dawn ‘til dusk (and beyond), this Feb. 14. FOR THE LOVE OF MAUI 5K FUN RUN – This new Valley Isle Road Runner (VIRR) event will benefit both the Kihei Youth Center and Hospice Maui. Residents and visitors are encouraged to participate. The course loops twice, beginning at Polo Beach (just south of the Fairmont Kea Lani) and runs along Old Makena Road before turning left onto Wailea Alanui and back to Polo Beach. Valentine’s Day-inspired attire is encouraged. Race starts at 5pm (just before sunset). Runners receive an event T-shirt, door prizes and free healthy snacks from Whole Foods. Medals awarded for winners in each age division. $30 advance / $40 race-day registration. (Note: Pickup race packets at Moneypod Kitchen on Feb. 13, 4-6:30pm.) DIP INTO VALENTINE’S DAY AT MELTING POT – Featuring delicious dippables not on their regular menu, this decadent four-course fondue experience was created especially for “the most romantic of all occasions.� $55-$65 per person. 5-10pm. The Melting Pot - A Fondue Restaurant (325 Keawe St., Lahaina); 661-6181; meltingpot.com/maui FLATBREAD COMPANY LOVES GARDENS – This Valentine’s Day, Flatbread Company donates a portion of their pizza pie sales to Hali’imaile Community Garden. Money raised helps support the non-profit group’s mission to build community around food self-sufficiency through collective efforts. 5-10pm. Flatbread Company (89 Hana Highway, Paia); haliimailegarden.weebly.com HAPA PERFORMS TWO SPECIAL VALENTINE’S DAY CONCERTS – To celebrate the 20th anniversary of their first release, as well as provide for a tender, romantic evening of gorgeous Hawaiian music, Barry Flanagan and Ron Kuala’au will perform Hapa’s original eponymous album, song for song. “In my opinion, Hapa’s groundbreaking first CD changed the tide and thus perception of the terminology ‘Music from Hawaii,’� Kenny Loggins says. “Hapa will always remain in my heart the hippest curators of Polynesian sounds.� Hapa will also throw in two songs from their latest EP: “Manoa Sessions� and “Ukulele Covers.� Add a four-course dinner and champagne toast, and it’s hard to think of a better way to spend an evening out. $100 (includes dinner and champagne). 5pm or 8pm. Stella Blues Cafe (1279 South Kihei Rd.); 874-3779; stellablues.com ‘CAUSE EVERYONE LIKES SAX ON VALENTINE’S DAY... – Request your favorite love song from saxophonist Gordon Samuelson (who recently celebrated a birthday!) and guitarist Curt Lee. No cover. 6-9pm. Pita Paradise (Wailea Gateway Center, 34 Wailea Gateway Pl.); 879-7177

CANZONI D’ AMORE (LOVE SONGS) WITH WILLIE K – A lovey dovey performance by Willie K and his band, with special guest Toni Pacino from Paris. $20. 8pm. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 572-0220; casanovamaui.com / williek.com A LOVE-THEMED NIGHT OF LIVE ENTERTAINMENT WITH MOTHxp AND KIT KAT CLUB CABARET – The men of MOTHxp and the lovely ladies of Kit Kat Club Cabaret bring you “song, dance, flamboyance and flirtatiousness–spanning time, dimensions and musical styles–that will entice you and leave you wanting more.� $10 (only $5 with dinner reservation). 9pm. Three’s Bar & Grill (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 879-3133; mothxp. com / facebook.com/kitkatclubcabaret AMBROSIA’S ANNUAL “ANTI-VALENTINE’S DAY� PARTY WITH DJ LA RAGE – We lalalalove Ambrosia’s annual call-to-action for singles to “flaunt their freedom and mock those who are tied down by the ol’ ball and chain� at their Anti-Valentine’s Day Party,� which features great music by DJ La Rage, $2-off Jagermeister all night (so you can “dance your single ass silly�), raffle prizes from The Love Shack and delicious cock-tails. No cover. 10pm. Ambrosia Martini Lounge (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 891-1011; ambrosiamaui.com DIAMONDS’ ANNUAL “SCREW CUPID� PARTY WITH RAMPAGE – Hey, we told you our feelings about Cupid on page 17. If you feel likewise, dance-out your aggressions to the tunes of Rampage, this Valentine’s Night at Diamonds. No cover. 10pm. Diamonds Ice Bar & Grill (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 874-9299 PUTTIN’ ON THE REGENCY – The Hyatt invites couples to spend Valentine’s Day at their resort for the special kama’aina rate of $159 per night, which includes a special two-for-one breakfast at Umalu or Swan Court. Plus, their acclaimed Pacific Rim restaurant Japengo has a special prix fixe V-Day menu available for $65 per person ($80 with a bottle of Perrier Jouet), meanwhile Spa Moana offers couple’s massage/ facial/pedicure packages for $400. Hyatt Regency Resort and Spa (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 661-1234; maui.hyatt.com GET ROMANTIC AT KA’ANAPALI BEACH HOTEL – This Valentine’s Day, Ka’anapali Beach Hotel offers a selection of romantic events for Maui sweethearts, where every lady in attendance receives a long-stem rose. Enjoy Executive Chef Tom Muromoto’s special Valentine’s Day menu ($49.95 per person)–which includes Koala lamb chops and kiawe roasted prime rib, topped-off with Chef’s award-winning “Banana Caramel Eruption�–or Kupanaha Magic Dinner Theater ($79-$89), which showcases “marvelous illusions and enchanting hula influenced by Hawaiian lore and famous musicians who visited Maui in the glory days of yore.� Ka‘anapali Beach Hotel (2525 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 661-0011; kbhmaui.com � anu@mauitime.com + @anuheayagi To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1534p2

PICKS

REQUESTS BY KEO EATON

3

4 5 6 7

2 1

8 9 10 11

BLUES SPIRIT OF MAUI

9 out of

MONDAYS 8:00PM

11

THE BLACK KEYS El Camino (Nonesuch; 2011) They say the body never lies; that it instinctively moves toward things that are good for it–and away from the things that are bad for it. That said, I’m not sure how to interpret the full-fledged hamstring cramp that temporarily paralyzed me eight minutes and 50 seconds into listening to The Black Keys’ new album, El Camino (released Dec. 3, 2011). On one hand, it rocked when–from the disc’s first bitchin’ track, “Lonely Boy”–I was compelled to leg-guitar in ways the world had never yet seen. (What’s leg guitar? Think air guitar–but cool ‘cause, instead of air, you play your own leg.) On the other hand, it sucked to find myself on the ground in a fetal position

ALL AGES NO COVER when I was just trying to jam. But man, I was a bad-ass that first eight minutes and 49 seconds–before I discovered that leg-guitaring the rest of the El Camino’s 28 minutes and 52 seconds requires a level of flexibility and physical prowess that I just don’t possess. But with smashing rock drum lines in callto-action songs like “Gold on the Ceiling,” “Run Right Back” and “Stop Stop,” I couldn’t resist the temptation to fall into a complete ‘70s trance: physically jumping and dancing and yelling-out lyrics I don’t yet know. Though this is my (admittedly late) introduction to The Black Keys, you can call me–notwithstanding my cramped hamstring–an instant fan. All albums reviewed in this space are available at Maui’s only record store, Requests (10 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-9315)

KENNY ROBERTS

ALL AGES NO COVER

TUESDAYS 8:00PM ALL AGES NO COVER

EVAN SHULMAN WEDNESDAYS 8:00PM ALL AGES NO COVER

INDIO & AVI THURSDAYS 8:00PM ALL AGES NO COVER

THE ELECTRIC SURFERS FRIDAYS 8:00PM ALL AGES NO COVER

THE HOUSE SHAKERS SATURDAYS 8:00PM ALL AGES NO COVER

LATE NIGHT HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 8PM - CLOSE AT BAR TOP ONLY, DINING ROOM EXCLUDED

900 FRONT ST. +1-808-667-7400 FEBRUARY 9, 2012

19

FILM

Great Adventure, Lousy Movie Journey 2: The Mysterious Island is a dopey but fun romp BY BARRY WURST II Journey 2: The Mysterious Island

★★★★★

Rated PG/94 Min.

I

t’s been 25 years since I wrote my first movie review, which was for Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold. My Dad took me to see it and, being 10 years old, I loved every minute of it, despite it being an awful, cheesy Indiana Jones rip off. On the drive home, I told my Dad how thrilling and exciting I thought it was (remember, I was 10) and he said (either as genuine encouragement or in an effort to shut me up), “why don’t you write a movie review when we get home?� So I did, and I’ve been writing movie reviews ever since. I thought a lot about Allan Quatermain while I was watching Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, the sequel to the very loose 2008 adaptation of Jules Verne’s Journey to the Center of the Earth, which was a joyful 3-D showcase in the theater but a drag to sit through at home. The follow-up, also in 3D, loses lead Brendan Fraser (they don’t even mention his character) but again co-stars Josh Hutcherson as a brainy teen whose love

of Jules Verne novels gives him clues to the actual locations they depict. This time, he teams up with his step-dad, Dwayne “The Rock� Johnson and, breaking an impossible code in less than five minutes, learn where Verne’s Mysterious Island AND Atlantis are on the map. With the help of a washed up helicopter pilot (Luis Guzman), his attractive daughter (Vanessa Hudgens) and Grandpa (Michael Caine, somehow keeping his dignity intact), they find themselves stuck on an island loaded with gorgeous scenery, gold and bees the size of the Goodyear blimp. This is a dopey adventure romp with truly terrible dialogue, a cast that has done (and deserves) much better and a really bad, failed “comic relief� turn from the normally reliable Guzman. On the other hand, were I still 10, I would have loved this as much as Allan Quatermain, or Return of the Jedi, Honey, I Shrunk the Kids or all the other movies Journey 2 shamelessly rips off. For local audiences, you get islander Johnson (who also co-produced), underplaying and always amusing–especially when he plays “What a Wonderful World� on the ukulele (during the movie and in the closing credits). There are also Hawaiian locations

Valentine Dinner at

The Rock plays ukulele!?!

(some of which get partially obscured by CGI ruins), Guzman sporting an official Magnum P.I. aloha shirt and a Brandscombe Richmond cameo. Like the first installment, this is something you want to see in theaters instead of catching later on DVD–the CGI and accompanying 3-D effects are excellent. When Johnson threw a spear directly at my face, I ducked. Hutcherson’s Bridge to Terabithia and Johnson’s Race to Witch Mountain are both superior family movies in every way, but this one has a justifiable PG-rating and should delight children not too young (the monsters

may be scary for the youngest keiki). Hudgens rocks the short shorts but appears to be trying really hard to not crack up, Hutcherson is too old and too buff to pass as a high school geek (more like the star quarterback) and Caine is hardly a Sean Connery substitute, though you have to give it to him, he looks good in safari duds. It’s not a good movie but it’s definitely a guilty pleasure. Just try not to smile when Johnson battles a giant electric eel. It’s that kind of movie. ■To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1534f

Friday, February 10th, 2012 Birthday Night! Every 2nd Friday of the Month enjoy a FREE birthday burger with an additional purchase.

2nd Friday Lahaina Town Party! Buy One Get One FREE Burger* * of equal or lesser value

** ID required, not valid with any other specials or coupons

THE BEST CHAMPAGNE BRUNCH

LIVE KONA LOBSTERS

$2 MARGARITAS

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on the Island

Canzoni d’ Amore (love songs) by Willie K and his band Special guest chanteur extraordinnaire

Toni Pacino from Paris

$14.95

3rd Anniversry Party SUNDAY FEB. 12TH, 2012

Happy Hour Starting at 12pm

-!2'!2)4!3 s -!) 4!)3 -/*)4/3 s +/.! "%%23 $5 MAHI CEVICHE $2 MIMOSAS with purchase of brunch item

Italian Dinner for two plus show: $100.00 Show only :: $20 per person (regular menu also available) Please call 808.572.0220 for information and reservations.

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FILM

Showtimes FRONT STREET THEATER 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees) Chronicle - PG 13 - FRI (1:30, 4:30), 7:30, 9:55. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:30, 7:30, 9:55. MONWED (4:30), 7:30, 9:55. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - PG 13 - THU (3:45), 6:45, 9:30. FRI (1:00, 3:45), 6:45, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:00), 3:45, 6:45, 9:30. MONWED (3:45), 6:45, 9:30. Haywire - R - THU (4:15), 7:15, 9:45. One For The Money - PG 13 - THU (4:00), 7:00, 9:30. FRI (1:45, 4:00), 7:00, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:45), 4:00, 7:00, 9:30. MON-WED (4:00), 7:00, 9:30. Underworld: Awakening (2D) - R - THU (4:30), 7:30, 9:55. The Woman in Black - PG 13 - FRI (1:15, 4:15), 7:15, 9:45. SAT-SUN (1:15), 4:15, 7:15, 9:45. MON-WED (4:15), 7:15, 9:45.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees) The Adventures of Tintin (3D) - PG - THU (5:00). FRI (12:00, 5:00), 10:00. SAT-SUN (12:00), 5:00, 10:00. MON-WED (5:00), 10:00. Albert Nobbs - R - THU (1:35, 4:05), 6:50, 9:25. The Artist - PG 13 - THU (1:55, 4:15), 6:40, 9:05. FRI (11:45, 1:55, 4:15), 6:40, 9:05. SAT-SUN (11:45, 1:55), 4:15, 6:40, 9:05. MON-WED (1:55, 4:15), 6:40, 9:05. Beauty and the Beast (2D) - G - THU (4:30). Beauty and the Beast (3D) - G - THU (2:15), 6:45. FRI (12:30, 2:50, 5:10). SAT-SUN (12:30, 2:50), 5:10. MON-WED (2:50, 5:10). Big Miracle - PG - FRI (11:30, 1:50, 4:20), 6:50, 9:20. SAT-SUN (11:30, 1:50), 4:20, 6:50, 9:20. MON-WED (1:50, 4:20), 6:50, 9:20. Chronicle - PG 13 - FRI (11:30, 12:35, 2:45, 4:35, 4:55), 7:05, 9:15, 9:40. SAT-SUN (11:30, 12:35, 2:45), 4:35, 4:55, 7:05, 9:15, 9:40. MON-WED (2:45, 4:35, 4:55), 7:05, 9:15, 9:40. The Descendants - R - THU-FRI (1:50, 4:35), 7:10, 9:55. SAT-SUN (1:35), 4:30, 7:10, 9:55. MON-WED (1:35, 4:30), 7:10, 9:55.

NEW THIS WEEK JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND - PG - Fantasy/Family - See this week’s Film Critique on page 20. 94 min. SAFE HOUSE - R - Action/Thriller - Ryan “Wrap� Reynolds stars as a CIA agent who must blitz his way across South Africa–with a fugitive (Denzel Washington) in his charge–after the safe house he’s been guarding is attacked by rebel soldiers. 115 min. STAR WARS: EPISODE 1 - THE PHANTOM MENACE - PG - Space Opera - Re-released in 3D, the Sith’s double-bladed light saber never looked so good... if only it killed Jar Jar Binks. 136 min. THE VOW - PG 13 - Romance - Turns out, if you’re young and hot like Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum, even coma-induced memory loss won’t keep you from doing the horizontal tango. 104 min.

NOW SHOWING THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN - PG - Animated Based on Les Aventures de Tintin, a comic series by Belgian artist Georges Remi (aka Herge). 107 min. THE ARTIST - PG 13 - Romance - A silent film star grapples with his waning fame as newfangled “talkies� become all the rage. 100 min. BIG MIRACLE - PG - Family - The guy who plays “Jim� in The Office, Drew Barrymore, Arctic Circle Inuits and the Russian military save a trio of whales trapped under miles of ice. 107 min. CHRONICLE - PG 13 - Action/Horror - This movie is proof-positive that three egomaniacal high school boys (wait, is that redundant?) with telekinetic super-

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT BY ANU YAGI

The Devil Inside - R - THU 10:00. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - PG 13 - THU (2:25, 5:20), 8:15. FRI (11:35, 2:25, 5:20), 8:15. SAT-SUN (11:35, 2:25), 5:20, 8:15. MON-WED (2:25, 5:20), 8:15. Haywire - R - THU (2:50, 5:10), 7:30, 9:50. FRIWED 7:30, 9:50. Hugo (3D) - PG - THU-WED (2:20), 7:20. Joyful Noise - PG 13 - THU (1:30, 4:10), 6:55, 9:40. FRI (1:30, 4:10), 6:55. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:10, 6:55. MON-WED (1:30, 4:10), 6:55. Man On A Ledge - PG 13 - THU (2:00, 4:25), 7:00, 9:35. FRI (11:40, 2:00, 4:25), 7:00, 9:30. SAT-SUN (11:40, 2:00), 4:25, 7:00, 9:30. MONWED (2:00, 4:25), 7:00, 9:30. One For The Money - PG 13 - THU (2:40, 4:55), 7:15, 9:30. FRI (12:25, 2:40, 4:50), 7:15, 9:25. SAT-SUN (12:25, 2:40), 4:50, 7:15, 9:25. MON-WED (2:40, 4:50), 7:15, 9:25. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - PG 13 - THU (4:20), 9:45. FRI-WED 9:35. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - R - THU (2:30, 5:30), 8:30. FRI-WED (1:40), 6:45. War Horse - PG - THU 9:00. We Bought A Zoo - PG - THU (1:40), 7:05. The Woman in Black - PG 13 - FRI (12:15, 2:35, 5:05), 7:25, 9:45. SAT-SUN (12:15, 2:35), 5:05, 7:25, 9:45. MON-WED (2:35, 5:05), 7:25, 9:45.

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked PG - THU-WED 12:10, 2:20. Contraband - R - THU 11:25, 2:00, 4:35, 7:10. FRI-SAT 11:25, 2:00, 4:35, 7:10, 9:50. SUNWED 11:25, 2:00, 4:35, 7:10. The Grey - R - THU 11:15, 1:50, 4:25, 7:05. FRISAT 11:15, 1:50, 4:25, 7:05, 9:35. SUN-WED 11:15, 1:50, 4:25, 7:05. Iron Lady - PG 13 - THU 12:20, 2:40, 5:00, 7:20. FRI-SAT 12:20, 2:40, 5:00, 7:20, 9:45. SUN-WED 12:20, 2:40, 5:00, 7:20. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - PG

powers is the stuff of pure horror. 83 min. THE DESCENDANTS - R - Drama/Comedy - George Clooney descends from Hawaiian royalty? 115 min. EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE - PG 13 - Drama - “You can’t make a whimsical children’s film out of 9/11, but of course someone tried,� writes Barry Wurst II. 129 min. THE GREY - R - Drama/Thriller - Apparently, when you’re hungry like a wolf, Liam Neeson’s on the menu. 117 min. HAYWIRE - R - Thriller - Hell hath no fury like an elite chic soldier scorned–and pay back’s (literally) a bitch. Starring Gina Carano and Ewan McGregor. 108 min. HUGO - G - Family - Based on American author Brian Selznick’s gorgeous, Caldecott-winning book, The Invention of Hugo Cabret. Starring Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen and Jude Law. 127 min. MAN ON A LEDGE - PG 13 - Thriller - Why’s it that, in movies, whenever an innocent man’s been wrongfully framed, he’s got to run around committing a bunch of crimes just to prove he’s innocent? 102 min. ONE FOR THE MONEY - PG 13 - Comedy Based on the 1994 novel by the same name, written by Janet Evanovich (i.e. it’s live-action poolside reading). Starring Katherine Heigl and Debbie Reynolds. 106 min. RED TAILS - PG 13 - Action - The inspiring story of African American pilots in the Tuskegee training program and their WWII heroism. Starring Cuba Gooding Jr. and Terrence Howard. 125 min. UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING - R - Fantasy - Kate Beckinsale returns as Selene, a vampire warrioress who does a bunch of vampire warrioress stuff. 88 min. THE WOMAN IN BLACK - PG 13 - Horror - A

13 - THU 4:30, 7:15. FRI-SAT 4:30, 7:15, 10:00. SUN-WED 4:30, 7:15. Red Tails - PG 13 - THU 11:00, 1:40, 4:20, 7:00. FRI-SAT 11:00, 1:40, 4:20, 7:00, 9:40. SUN-WED 11:00, 1:40, 4:20, 7:00. Underworld: Awakening (2D) - R - THU-WED 11:00, 1:15. Underworld: Awakening (3D) - R - THU 3:25, 5:35, 7:45. FRI-SAT 3:25, 5:35, 7:45, 10:10. SUN-WED 3:25, 5:35, 7:45.

Central Maui’s Only Pet Boutique Boutique Feel Without the Boutique Prices

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) The Artist - PG 13 - FRI-SAT 11:00, 1:20, 3:40, 5:55, 8:15, 10:30. SUN 11:00, 1:20, 3:40, 5:55, 8:15. MON-WED 1:20, 3:40, 5:55, 8:15. Chronicle - PG 13 - FRI-SAT 11:15, 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 10:00. SUN 11:15, 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30. MON-WED 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30. The Descendants - R - THU 1:50, 4:20, 7:00. FRISAT 11:20, 1:50, 4:20, 7:00, 9:45. SUN 11:20, 1:50, 4:20, 7:00. MON-WED 1:50 4:20, 7:00. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - PG 13 - THU 2:00, 4:45, 7:25. Man On A Ledge - PG 13 - THU 1:05, 3:30, 5:50, 8:05. FRI-SAT 11:30, 2:05, 4:30, 7:05, 9:30. SUN 11:30, 2:05, 4:30, 7:05. MON-WED 1:00, 3:30, 5:50, 8:20. Underworld: Awakening (2D) - R - THU 1:00, 3:00, 5:00, 7:15.

Made on Maui Aloha Dog Wear Unique Gifts For Your Pets

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees) The Grey - R - THU-FRI 1:15, 4:15), 7:05, 9:55. SAT-SUN (1:15), 4:15, 7:05, 9:55. MON-WED (1:15, 4:15), 7:05, 9:55. Man On A Ledge - PG 13 - THU-FRI (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 9:50. SAT-SUN (1:45), 4:30, 7:15, 9:50. MON-WED (1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 9:50. Red Tails - PG 13 - THU-FRI (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 9:50. SAT-SUN (1:00), 4:00, 7:00, 9:50. MONWED (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 9:50.

400 HANA HWY., KAHULUI 893-BARK (2275) t POUCHICOUTURE.COM

scary, scorned ghost lady haunts a house. Terror presumably ensues. 95 min.

LAST CHANCE ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIP-WRECKED - PG - Animated - Squirrelkabobs! The Chipmunks and Chimpettes get stranded on a deserted topical island–and soon find it isn’t deserted at all (big surprise). I wonder if the natives will Cook them? 87 min. BEAUTY AND THE BEAST - G - Animated - From a little town in a quiet village, this tale as old as time returns in 3D. 84 min. CONTRABAND - R - Action/Thriller - Mark Wahlberg, Giovanni Ribisi and Kate Beckinsale star in this flick about stuff and things you’re not supposed to have and do. 110 min. IRON LADY - PG 13 - Drama - Sorry, super hero geeks. This movie isn’t the Catwoman to Iron Man’s Batman. 105 min. JOYFUL NOISE - PG 13 - Musical - Queen Latifah, Dolly Parton and Kris Kristofferson star. For better or worse, that’s all you need to know. 133 min.

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MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL PG 13 - Action - The real impossible mission lies in whether this movie can resurrect Tom Cruise from the Hollywood whack list. 132 min. SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS - PG 13 - Action - Sherlock (Robert Downey Jr.) and Watson (Jude Law) are back for more ‘splosions. 129 min. TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY - R - Mystery Based on the 1974 British spy novel written by John le Carre. Starring Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Tom Hardy and John Hurt. 127 min. â–

161 ‘A’ ALAMAHA STREET .$+8/8, ‡ (&2 FEBRUARY 9, 2012

21

CALENDAR

Da Kine Calendar BY ANU YAGI

Friday

2/10

Saturday

2/11

VOTED BEST HAPPY HOUR ON MAUI! 3 +)(%) 2$ s !- !- $!),9 s $)..%2 @4), 0-

THURS

FEB.9 TS UIMUSICMECCA PRESEN

MA

GUEST DJ /0 $07&3 t 1.

FRIDAY

'&# T PRESENTS

NEXT LEVEL ENTERTAINMEN

IDAYS BOTTOMS UP FR T ES GU WITH SPECIAL MICAH BANKS 1. t $07&3

TUESDAY

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IBIZA ON MAUI WITH DJ PEAK 1. t /0 $07&3

22

FEBRUARY 9, 2012

BIG SHOWS

com/kitkatclubcabaret

SZYMANOWSKI QUARTET – Thu., Feb. 9. See This Week’s Picks. $12 / $30 / $40. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR.’S SLACK KEY MASTERS SERIES FEATURING LEDWARD KA’APANA – Thu., Feb. 9. Each month, cooler-than-cool Uncle George Kahumoku Jr. hosts his award-winning slack key music series by opening the show with his candid storytelling and musical prowess. This month’s show features one of Hawaii’s “grand masters� of ki ho’alu Ledward Ka’apana. $25 standard / $45 VIP (includes post-show talk story session with performers). 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org THE COMEDY HYPNOSIS OF JOSHUA BLUE – Fri, Feb. 10. See This Week’s Picks for more. $10. 9:30pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 South Kihei Rd.); 874-3779; stellablues. com BAMBU STATION’S CHILDREN OF EXODUS CD RELEASE PARTY – Fri, Feb. 10. See This Week’s Picks for more. $20. 10pm. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 572-0220; casanovamaui.com / bambustationband.com KEALI’I REICHEL & HALAU KE’ALAOKAMAILE PRESENT KUKAHI 2012 – Sat. & Sun., Feb. 11-12. See This Week’s Picks for more. $12 / $35 / $45 / $55. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org “GO BACK IN TIME� WITH JOE BLACKBURN – Sat., Feb. 11. A fundraiser hosted by Friends of Joe Blackburn, featuring Augie T, Amy Hanaiali’i Gilliom, Ikaika Blackburn & Friends and The Shamrocks. $50. 5:309:30pm. Maui Tropical Plantation (1670 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Waikapu) THE MAGIC OF KORA: HIGH ENERGY SENEGALESE HARP MUSIC WITH YOUSSOUPHA SIDIBE – Sat., Feb. 11. See This Week’s Picks for more. $12. 8pm. Mandala Ethnic Arts (29 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 5799555; mandalaecohomes.com HAPA PERFORMS TWO SPECIAL VALENTINE’S DAY SHOWS – Tue., Feb. 14. See our special Valentine’s Day roundup on page 18 for more information. $100 (includes dinner and champagne). 5pm or 8pm. Stella Blues Cafe (1279 South Kihei Rd.); 874-3779; stellablues.com CANZONI D’ AMORE (LOVE SONGS) WITH WILLIE K – Tue., Feb. 14. See our special Valentine’s Day roundup on page 18 for more information. $20. 8pm. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 572-0220; casanovamaui. com / williek.com A LOVE-THEMED NIGHT OF LIVE ENTERTAINMENT WITH MOTHXP AND KIT KAT CLUB CABARET – Tue., Feb. 14. See our special Valentine’s Day roundup on page 18 for more information. $10 (only $5 with dinner reservation). 9pm. Three’s Bar & Grill (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 879-3133; mothxp.com / facebook.

STAGE ‘ULALENA – Mon-Fri. A nonpareil portal to Hawaiian history and kanaka maoli lore; what ‘Ulalena accomplishes–five nights a weeks for 12 years strong–is without a doubt the most powerful cultural education available for our visitors (and ourselves). Rich with tradition while sublimely contemporary, it’s a clean, consistent and critical contribution by Hawaii about Hawaii, for the world. Mahalo ke akua!. Starting at $24.50 keiki / $59.50 adults. Dinner and VIP packags available. 6:30pm Maui Theatre, f.k.a. Maui Myth & Magic Theatre, built specifically for ‘Ulalena (Old Lahaina Center, 878 Front Street, Lahaina); 1-877-688-4800; mauitheatre.com

TICKETS ON SALE SUPPER CLUB PERFORMANCES FEATURING HAPA – Fri, Feb 17. & Fri., Feb. 24. To celebrate the 20th anniversary of their first self-titled release, Barry Flanagan and Ron Kuala’au will perform Hapa’s original album, song for song. “In my opinion, Hapa’s groundbreaking first CD changed the tide and thus perception of the terminology ‘Music from Hawaii,’� Kenny Loggins says. “Hapa will always remain in my heart the hippest curators of Polynesian sounds.� Hapa will also throw in two songs from their latest EP: “Manoa Sessions� and “Ukulele Covers.� Add a fourcourse dinner, and it’s hard to think of a better way to spend an evening out. Note: these are the second and third of three special Supper Club performances. 7:30pm. $30 show-only / $60 four-course dinner and show (6pm seating). Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 South Kihei Rd.); 874-3779; stellablues.com SOURCE INTERACTION ARTS FESTIVAL – Fri., Feb 17 through Mon., Feb. 20. Think of your wildest, most colorful dream–then shove it in a multiplication machine and douse the product in intergalactic glitter (among other magic stuff). The result’s still, like, just a fraction of the fun to be had at the creative-overdrive-campout weekend that is Source. Check it out. sourcemaui.com Q103 PRESENTS THIRD WORLD - Sat., Feb. 18. Jamaica’s reggae ambassadors Third World return to Maui, with opening guests Paula Fuga and Mike Love. Tickets available online or at Ocean’s Bar & Grill (Kihei), Westside Vibes (Lahaina) and Bounty Music (Kahului). 6pm doors / 7pm show. $40 advance / $45 door. Mulligan’s on the Blue (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 1-885-2-FLAVOR (352867); groovetickets.com HAWAII UNITE MUSIC FESTIVAL WITH THIRD WORLD - Sun., Feb. 19. Third World and a collective of local artists who contributed to the latest Mana Maoli CD project (including Paula Fuga, Mike Love, John Cruz, Lopaka Colon, Anuhea, Innavision and Kapali Keahi) present a concert festival that’s not-to-be-missed. $35 advance / $40 day-of. 4:30pm gates /

5pm show. Yokouchi Pavilion/A&B Amphitheater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org MAZIE HIRONO FOR HAWAII U.S. SENATE FUNDRAISER WITH PATRICK SIMMONS AND TOM CONWAY - Tue., Feb. 21. Because the very first rock concert Mazie Hirono attended featured the Doobie Brothers, Hirono’s invited the one and only Patrick Simmons to support the cause, alongside six string sensei, Tom Conway. And, it’s at the home of manager-to-the-stars, Shep Gordon! $2,500 chair / $1,000 host / $500 sponsor / $250 friend / $100 supporter. 6:30-8:30pm RSVP by contacting Josh Handelman at 9279801 or josh@mazieforhawaii.com. KALI NAVALES & JAH GUMBLY OF OOKLAH THE MOC AND FATHER PSALMS – Fri., Feb. 24. Plus, Super Dub Tribe, Rootz N Creation feat. Teomon, and the son of Toots from Toots & The Maytals. $15 pre-sale / $20 door. 9:30pm. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 572-5220 LEGENDARY PUNK: ILL REPUTE AND M.D.C. – Sat., Feb. 25. You read that right: Ill Repute and M.D.C.–plus Campfire, Order of the White Rose and Breakaway Demon Sex–will all take the stage at this sure-to-rock show. Tickets available at 808shows.com or groovetickets.com. $18 advance / $20 door. 8pm. Stella Blues Cafe (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 874-3779 MOONLIGHT SERIES FEATURING RAUL MIDON - Thu., Mar. 29. Blind since infancy, American singer-songwriter and guitarist, Raul Midon straddles the genres of Latin, folk-pop and jazz with show-stopping vocals and dazzling instrumental technique. Combining his soulful tenor and syncopated, percussive guitar with improvisational mouth trumpet sounds, Midon is an exciting one-man show. $28/$33. 7:30pm A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org 4TH ANNUAL MAUI BREWERS FESTIVAL - Sat., May 19. Join hosts Maui Brewing Company and Maui Arts & Cultural Center for a leisurely day of tasting beers from two dozen craft breweries, sampling pupus from Maui’s popular eateries, live entertainment by the isle’s best bands, plus loads of prize giveaways. Ticket includes eight 4-ounce samples of micro-brews and imports, unlimited islandstyle dishes and parking. A connoisseur package is available for early entry at 2pm, with reserved parking and extra gifts. A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

EVENTS

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 9 GRAND OPENING: THE ART OF PETER MAX GALLERY (WITH GOVERNOR ABERCROMBIE!) – See This Week’s Picks for more. Free. 1pm. The Art of Peter Max Gallery (The Shops at Wailea, 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 495-0060; petermax.com

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

2/9

2/10

2/11

2/12

2/13-2/15

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Clay Mortensen 5-9pm

Power Up Crew’s DJ Kollision + k.s.k. 10pm; no cover

Flashback Saturdays Dance Party w/ DJ Z 10pm; no cover

Sunday Skool Nightclub w/ DJ JamnJ 10pm; no cover

MON - Open Mic Jam Sesh w/ hostess Teri Garrison, 8pm / TUE - Clay Mortensen, 5-9pm / WED - Teri Garrison 5-8pm; free karaoke w/ host Braddah Francis, 8pm (all sets no cover)

AMBROSIA

Jamie Gallo, 7pm; no cover / An Intimate Evening w/ Erin Smith, 10pm; no cover

Whatever You Want w/ DJ AstroRaph 10pm; no cover

Sunrise Saturdaze w/ DJ Decka 10pm; no cover

Ultra w/ DJ CIA 10pm; no cover

MON - Ladies’ & ‘80s Night w/ DJ Skinny Guy, 10pm / TUE - Annual “Anti-Valentine’s Day” Party w/ DJ La Rage, 10pm / WED - Red Carpet Movie Night, 7:30pm; Maui’s HI-5 Night (S.I.N.) w/ DJs Del Sol & CIA, 10pm

Adam Masterson 7-9:30pm; no cover

Bob Jones 7-9:30pm; no cover

Live Music TBA 7-9:30pm; no cover

CASANOVA

Maui Stand Up Comedy w/ Chino LaForge & Friends 9:30pm; $10

Bambu Station’s Children of Exodus CD Release Party 10pm; $20

“Dance ‘Til You Die” w/ DJ Stellar & DJ Tara Brooks 10pm; $10

CHARLEY’S

Wavetrain feat. Mark Johnstone & Friends 10pm; no cover

Diva Deva presents The Pink Passion Party w/ DJs Paul Gotel and Satdeva, 9:30pm; $15

DJ NASnfx 10pm; $5

Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Chad Kaya & Ryan Rego 8-11pm; no cover

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0988

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

MAUI STAND UP COMEDY – Adult humor featuring Chino LaForge and special guests. $10. 9:30pm. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 572-0220; casanovamaui.com SONIC EXPANSION AT BODY ALIVE YOGA & MOVEMENT STUDIO – Are you tired of having to be at a bar just to dance? Check out this new experience in movement, held in a safe and healthy environment. The evening starts off by stretching body, mind and spirit; and to aid in dancing the night away, includes taste bud treats (from an Ayurvedic spread!) with something for every dosha. Registration is suggested as space is limited. Program includes Vinyasa Flo Yoga for all levels with Rachel G, plus live music by The Human Experience (6:15-7:15pm), Guided Sound Meditation by David Block of The Human Experience (7:15-7:30pm), and Ayurvedic treats to ambient beats (7:30pm). $20 with yoga class / 7:15pm. Body Alive Yoga & Movement Studio (1995 Main St., Wailuku); 359-1060; bodyaliveyoga.com ECSTATIC DANCE MAUI – Every Thu., DJ Nadi leads a “dance sanctuary” where individual’s boundaries are respected on a talk-free floor. $10 (though no one will be turned away for lack of funds). 8:30-10:30pm. Community Hall, Makawao Union Church (1445 Baldwin Ave.); 557-7167; facebook.com/pages/Ecstatic-Dance-Maui / soundcloud.com/nadimusic

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 10 “FALL IN LOVE WITH LAHAINA” AT LA-

WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7-9:30pm; no cover Mana’o Radio’s Upcountry Sundays Acoustic Style w/ The Haiku Hillbillys 2pm; $7

TUE - Canzoni d’ Amore w/ Willie K, 8pm; $20 / WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/ DJ Blast & Chilltown Productions, 10pm; $10

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30-10pm / TUE - Live Jazz, 7-10pm / WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm

Live Music 10pm; no cover

Rising Strong 10pm

Jordan 10pm; no cover

MON - Gomega / TUE - Annual “Screw Cupid” Party w/ Rampage / WED - Juke Box Party (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Quiz Night 8pm; no cover

Dance Party 10pm; no cover

Jessica Rabbitt & Kanoa 10pm; no cover

Sebrina Barron 5:30pm; no cover

MON – Glen Wong (of Maoli) / TUE - Big John / WED - Sebrina Barron (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Karaoke

Karoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED - Karaoke

Rampage 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Str8viben 9pm-close; no cover

Karaoke Industry Night 8pm-close; no cover

MON - Karaoke, 8pm-close / TUE - Music videos w/ DJ H, 9pm-close / WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm-close (all sets no cover)

Indio & Avi 8-11pm; no cover

Cane Fire (part of Lahaina Second Friday festivities) 9pm-close; no cover

The House Shakers 8-11pm; no cover

MON - Blues Spirit of Maui / TUE - Kenny Roberts / WED - Evan Schulman (all sets 8-11pm; no cover)

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

WED - Karaoke

HAINA SECOND FRIDAY – Romance is alive and well in the bustling town of Lahaina. This month’s festivities kick-off with a conch shell blessing with the cast of ‘Ulalena (mahalo ke akua!), and features live music at Front St. restaurants like the Hard Rock Cafe, Kimo’s and Pioneer Inn. Plus, galleries and shops offer specials and serve-up wine and pupus. Visit mauifridays.com for more information. LAHAINA RESTORATION FOUNDATION’S “LET THE STORY BE TOLD!” SERIES – Continuing at the Wo Hing Temple Museum and Baldwin Home Museum (part of Lahaina Second Friday festivities), is a series a special cultural events. The Wo Hing hosts a lecture about Chinese coins by Dennis Ryan (6:30pm), meanwhile the Baldwin Home features a video presentation by renowned underwater photographer, Flip Nicklin (7:30pm). Ryan has been studying the early currency system of China for more than 30 years, and his presentation will focus on coins from the Yuan and Ming Dynasties. Nicklin is National Geographic’s premier whale photographer and marine mammal specialist, and co-founder

of the local non-profit Whale Trust. Free with admission ($5 adults / free for keiki 12-yearsold and younger). 5-8:30pm. Wo Hing Temple Museum / Baldwin Home Museum (Front St., Lahaina); lahainarestoration.org

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 11 FOOD AND BOOK LOVERS REJOICE! – Whole Foods Market hosts “a fun day devoted to love, romance and chocolate!” Sample their healthy treats and peruse romance novels (among other offerings) for sale from Maui Friends of the Library. 9am. Whole Foods Market (Maui Mall, 70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); SECOND SATURDAY ART (FOR KIDS!) AT MAUI THING – Got creative keiki? Help them blossom by taking them to Maui Thing’s monthly art party where they’ll make creative projects that you’re sure to cherish. E-mail ashley@ mauithing.com for more information. Free. 10am-12pm Maui Thing (7 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-249-0215 SPEAK-UP AND SPEAK OUT: FUNDAMENTALS OF PUBLIC SPEAKING (FOR

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KIDS!) – Have fun while speaking out! Learn what to do with your hands, how to speak clearly, and best practices to achieve the right tone and cadence to get your message across. For kids eight-to 18-years-old. RSVP by calling 205-1860. 10am-12pm./ Good Shepherd Church’s Parish Hall (across from McDonalds, Church St., Wailuku); office@goodshepherdmaui.org “BLACK HISTORY CHILDREN’S STORY HOUR” – Noted Afrikan and Afrikan-American historian Adesina Ogunelese reads “Aida,” the story of an Ethiopian princess, by Leontyne Price, as well as “Dancing in the Wings,” the story of a young girl’s dream of becoming a star ballerina, by Debbie Allen. The program is suitable for keiki three-years-old and older and is part of a four-part series which also includes “Profiling Black Opera Divas,” (Mon., Feb. 13), “Profiling Black Ballet Dancers” (Wed., Feb. 22) and “The First Black Female Millionaire” (Mon., Feb. 27). For more, see This Week’s Picks (page 17) as well as MauiSphere (page 7). Free. 2pm. Makawao Public Library (1159 Makawao Ave.); 573-8785 “DANCE ‘TIL YOU DIE” – No worries, we’re sure they mean “dance ‘til you die” metaphorically. Enjoy electronica and tribal house with DJ Stellar and DJ Tara Brooks. $10. 10pm. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 572-0220; casanovamaui.com

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 12 “DOGGIE SPEED DATING” AT MAUI HU-

FEBRUARY 9, 2012

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FEBRUARY 9, 2012

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

2/9

2/10

2/11

2/12

2/13-2/15

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

JAVA JAZZ

Rick Glencross & Melanie Reid 7pm - close; no cover

Jamie Gallo 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross & Melanie Reid 7pm - close; no cover

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

MON - Guest Performer / TUE - Guest Performer / WED - Renee Alonzo (all sets 7pm-close; no cover)

KAHALE’S

Bad Kitty, 7pm

Kenny Roberts, 7pm

Eight Track Players, 7pm

The Kihei Cowboys, 7pm

MON - Kawika / TUE - Da Hawaiians / WED - Gina Martinelli (all sets 7pm)

1810 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Kanoa & Jessica Rabbitt 8-10pm; no cover

1810 8-10pm; no cover

Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa 8-10pm; no cover

MON - Glenn Kakagawa, 6-8pm / TUEWED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm (all sets no cover)

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

LAHAINA CAFE

843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

Free Karaoke w/ Danny DJ 10pm-12am; no cover

MON - Trivia Night w/ John, 7-9pm / TUE - Open Mic w/ Kenny, 10pm-12am / WED Megatouch Game Day w/ Katie, 7-9pm

Pool Tournament 7-9pm Fulton Tashombe & The Maui Jazz All-Stars, 7-10pm

LONGHI’S LAHAINA 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

TUE - Country Music & Dancing w/ Rick Scanlan, 7-11m / WED - Sebrina Barron 7-9pm; Ladies’ Night w/ DJ La Rage, 10pm-close

Salsa Night w/ Neto & Barbara Peraza, 8-11pm / DJ Nexus 11pm-close

Requesola w/ Rob & Ron = R2, 6:30-9:30pm / DJ Nexus 10pm-close

Camp Savage 7:30-9:30pm / DJ AstroRaph, 10pm-close

Howard Ahia 6-8pm; no cover / Pool Tournament 7-10:30pm

Marvin Tevaga 6-9pm; no cover / Latin Night w/ DJ Danny 10pm-2am; $10

STATUS w/ DJs Big Mike & Money Mike 9:30pm-2am

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

Phil & Angie Benoit 6:30-8:30pm

DJ Mantis 9pm-close

MERRIMAN’S

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

MON - The Benoits / TUE - David Choy / WED - Ranga Pae (all sets 6-9pm)

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Willie K Dinner Show, 7-9pm; $65 / Pub Quiz Superfreakout w/ Trish “The Dish” Smith, 9:30pm-12am; no cover

Live Music 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Live Music 6:30-9pm

The Celtic Tigers 6:30-9:30pm

MON - Joyce & Gord, 6-8:30pm / TUE Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks, 7-8pm / WED - Willie K Dinner Show, 7-9pm; $65

OCEANS BAR & GRILL

mauimusicmecca presents DJ Twizzy 10pm; no cover

Next Level Entertainment presents Bottoms Up Fridays w/ special guest Micah Banks, 10pm; $10

LULU’S KIHEI

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

LULU’S LAHAINA

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414

MANE SOCIETY – See This Week’s Picks for more. A special discount of 50 percentoff adoption fees is offered for any adoptions resulting from the event. 11am-1pm. Maui Humane Society (Mokulele Hwy.; look for the big red dog); 877-3680 ext. 23; mauihumanesociety.org BAILEY HOUSE MUSEUM’S ‘OHANA DAY – See This Week’s Picks for more. $3 adults / $2 seniors / free for keiki 12-years-old and younger. 12-4pm. Bailey House Museum (2375-A Main St., Wailuku); 244-3326; mauimuseum.org MANA’O RADIO’S UPCOUNTRY SUNDAY ACOUSTIC STYLE – This lively series is filled with music as great as the people who create it. This month features The Haiku Hillbillys and Elaine Ryan, among other awesome folks. $7 donation. 2pm. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 572-0220; casanovamaui.com A FULL DAY OF FUN AT THE CANNERY – Every Sun. in Feb., enjoy an all-ages comedy and magic show with Lauro Castillio of the award-winning Kupanaha Magic Dinner Show (11:30am), followed by a keiki hula show (1pm), a yo-yo skills workshop by Maui Toy Works (4-5pm) and line dancing by Maui Paniolo Poss (4:30pm). Free. Lahaina Cannery Mall (Honoapiilani Hwy.); 661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 13 “PROFILING BLACK OPERA DIVAS: MARIAN ANDERSON AND LEONTYNE PRICE” – A special lecture by noted Noted African and African-American historian Adesina Ogunelese, in celebration of Black History Month. For more, see This Week’s Picks (page

17) as well as MauiSphere (page 7). Free. 6pm. Makawao Public Library (1159 Makawao Ave.); 573-8785 VALENTINE’S DAY-INSPIRED “ONO!” AT ‘IAO THEATER – See This Week’s Picks for more. Free. 6:30pm. Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 244-8680; mauionstage.com

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 14 FOR THE LOVE OF MAUI 5K FUN RUN – See our special Valentine’s Day roundup on page 18 for more information. $30 advance / $40 race-day registration. (Note: Pick-up race packets at Moneypod Kitchen on Feb. 13, 4-6:30pm.) AMBROSIA’S ANNUAL “ANTI-VALENTINE’S DAY” PARTY WITH DJ LA RAGE – See our special Valentine’s Day roundup on page 18 for more information. No cover. 10pm. Ambrosia Martini Lounge (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 891-1011; ambrosiamaui.com DIAMONDS’ ANNUAL “SCREW CUPID” PARTY WITH RAMPAGE – See our special Valentine’s Day roundup on page 18 for more information. No cover. 10pm. Diamonds Ice Bar & Grill (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 874-9299

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 15 WAILEA ON WEDNESDAYS! - Every Wed., The Shops at Wailea hosts their weekly WOW! (Wailea on Wednesdays!) series, featuring famous local performers in the lower courtyard and a slew of shop-to-shop specials. This week, check out Chief Fia Fia and the Polynesian Village Luau Performers. Free. 6-8:30pm. The Shops at Wailea (Wailea Alanui Dr.); 891-6770; theshopsatwailea.com; @ ShopsAtWailea on Twitter

Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30pm / DJ Kamikaze, 10pm-close

MON - All Access DJs, 10pm / TUE - “Lahaina Idol” Karaoke w/ Troy, 9pm12am / WED - Kenny Roberts, 5-8pm TUE - Open Mic Night 6:30pm-close

WED - Ibiza on Maui w/ DJ Peak 10pm; no cover

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI

DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE – Every Thu., Damien Awai., 3-5pm / Garret & Peter, 6-8:30pm. Every Fri., Garrett, 3-5pm / Kulewa, 6-8:30pm / Hula performance, 6:30pm. Every Sat., Tim, 3-5pm / Kulewa, 6-8:30pm / Hula performance, 6:30pm. Every Sun., Fausto, 3-5pm / Damon & Tim, 6-8:30pm. Every Mon., Brian, 3-5pm / Eddie & Alika, 6-8:30pm. Every Tue., Bob Deleon, 3-5pm / Eddie & Alika 6-8:30pm. Every Wed., Brian, 3-5pm / Kahala & Daniel, 6-8:30pm. (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina; 662-2900) HULA GRILL – Every Thu., Ernest Pua’a, 11am-1pm / Alika Nako’oka, 1:30-3:30pm / Kaniala Masoe, 4-6pm / Kulewa 6:30-9pm. Every Fri., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am-1pm / Kaniala Masoe, 1:30-3:30pm / 1810, 4-6pm / Kawika, Roy and Albert, 6:30-9pm. Every Sat., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am-1pm / Ron, Ikaika & Damon, 1:30-3:30pm / 1810 4-6pm / Ben & Glenn, 6-9:30pm. Every Sun., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am1pm / Glenn, 1:30-3:30pm / 1810, 4-6pm / Derick Sebastian Trio, 6:30-9pm. Every Mon., Ernest Pua’a, 11am-1pm / Kawika Lum Ho, 1:30-3:30pm / Armadillo, 4-6pm / Derick Sebastian Trio & Josh Kahula, 6:30-9pm. Every Tue., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am-1pm / Jarrett Roback & Junior Lacuesta, 1:30-3:30pm / Damon Parillo & Danyel Alana, 5-6pm / Ernest Pua’a & Friends, 6:30-9pm. Every Wed., Ernest Pua’a, 111am-1pm / Kaniala Masoe, 1:303:30pm / Peter DeAquino, 4-6pm / Ernest Pua’a & Friends, 6:30-9pm. (Whalers Village, Ka’anapali; 667-6636)

LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH – Every Thu., Jarret & Wilson. Every Fri., JD & Friends. Every Sat., JD & Harry. Every Sun., Merv Oana. All sets 3-5pm. (Whaler’s Village, Ka’anapali; 661-4495) LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL – Every Thu., Howard Ahia, 6-8pm. Every Fri., Marvin Tevaga, 6-9pm. Every Tue., “Lahaina Idol” karaoke with Troy, 9pm; Every Wed., Kenny Roberts, 5-8pm. (Lahaina Cannery Mall; 661-0808) PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR – Every Thu., Greg di Piazza featuring Alana Cini, 5:308:30pm. Every Tue., Ah-Tim Elenicki, 5:308:30pm. Every Wed., JD on the Rocks, 5-8pm. (658 Wharf St., Lahaina; 661-3636) R.B. BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE – Every Sun., Live Jazz. (4465 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Lahaina; 669-8889) SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT – Every Tue. & Fri., Kincaid Kupahu, 7-9pm. Every Sun. & Thu., Andrew Kaina, 7-9pm. Every Sat., Coehlo Morrison, 7-9pm. Every Mon. & Wed., Albert Kaina, 7-9pm. (5900 L. Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Napili; 669-1500)

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA – Every Thu., Jamie Gallo, 7pm. Every Tue., “Glee” on the big screen, 7pm. Every Wed., Red Carpet Movie Night, 7:30pm [February is Judd Apatow month. This week: “40 Year Old Virgin” (2005)]. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 891-1011) HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH – Every Thu., Junior Lacuesta, 4-8pm. Every Fri., Tue. & Wed., Rick Glencross, 4-8pm. Every Sat., Ryan Robinson, 4-8pm. Mon., Jacob (of the Alliez), 4-8pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 874-1250)

FEBRUARY 9, 2012

25

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THURSDAY

FRIDAY

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SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

2/9

2/10

2/11

2/12

2/13-2/15

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SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

DJ Slackin 10pm-close; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm-close; no cover

DJ LX 10pm-close; no cover

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR

Dan & Anne 7-10pm; no cover

Jacob Abeytia 7-10pm

Kenny Roberts 9am-12pm; no cover

MON - Still Pono Band, 7-10pm; no cover WED - Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm; no cover

Ladies’ Night 7pm-close; no cover

Live Music 8pm; no cover

Free Pool Day

MON - Mahalo Monday Industry Night

Hypnotist Joshua Blue 9:30pm; $10

Steve Grimes 9pm; $10

MON - Tom Cherry & Mike Finkewiecz, 4-6pm; Willie K 10pm-12am, $10 / TUE - Tom Conway, 4-6pm; V-Day w/ HAPA, 5pm or 8pm / WED Randall Rospond, 4-6pm / Slam feat. David Choy & Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

Maui Underground 9pm-1am; $4

The Usual Suspects 9pm-12am; no cover

WED - Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover

R.S. SHARKY’S

The House Shakers 9pm-12am

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6115

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

WATERCRESS

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351

KAI WAILEA – Every Thu., Mon. & Sun., Wolf, 6-8:30pm. Every Fri., Ryan Robinson, 6-8:30pm. Every Sat., Kanoa Kukaua, 6-8:30pm. Every Mon., Tom Conway, 6-8:30pm. Every Wed., Francois, 6-8:30pm. (3750 Wailea Alanui; 875-1955) LULU’S KIHEI – Every Thu., Neto & Barbara, 8-11pm. Every Fri., Ron & Rob = R2, 6:309:30pm. Every Sun., Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30m. Every Tue., Rick Scanlan, 7-11pm. Every Wed., Sebrina Barron, 7-9pm. (1945 S. Kihei Rd.; 879-9944) MONKEYPOD KITCHEN – Every Thu., Tom & Mike, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Fri., Wolf, 3-5pm and Alika Nako’oka, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Sat., Barefoot Minded 3-5pm and Erin Smith 6:308:30pm. Every Sun., Alika Nako’oka, 3-5pm and Kilohana, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Mon., Ron & Tarvin, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Tue., Kilohana, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Wed., Jarret & Wilson, 6:30-8:30pm. MONSOON INDIA – Every Sat., Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso, 6:30-8:30pm. Every

Kanoa 10pm-close

MON - DJ Slackin’ / TUE - DJ LX / WED Ladies’ Night w/ The ADD Twins (all sets 10pm - close; no cover)

Live Music 5-8pm.

TUE - Eat & Play Night / WED - Circus Night (feat. magicians, balloon artists and face painters)

Soul Congress w/ Clay Mortensen 9:30pm; no cover

Arise 10pm; no cover

Tribute to Don Cornelius w/ Omar & The Soultones 10pm; no cover

Gina Martinelli Band 8pm; no cover

TUE - Valentine’s Day w/ Kit Kat Club Cabaret and MOTHxp / WED - The House Shakers 7:30pm; no cover

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

Sounds of Jah CD Release Party 9:45pm-2am; $10

We Love Timba Fridays 9:45pm-2am; $10

Hip Hop MC / DJ Mr. V 9:45pm-2am; $10

closed

MON through WED - closed

NFL / Next Level Entertainment, 10pm

Live Music 10pm

Karaoke

Karaoke

TUE - Thirsty Tuesdays / WED - Free Karaoke

Tue., The Hula Honeys, 5:30-8:30pm. (760 S. Kihei Rd.; 875-6666) MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE – Thu., Willie K, 7-9pm., Sun., The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley, 6:30-9:30pm. Mon., Joyce & Gord w/ Jimmy C, 6-8:30pm. Tue., Brenton Keith & His Bag O’Tricks, 7-8pm. Wed., Willie K, 7-9pm. (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea; 874-1131) PITA PARADISE – Tue., Gordon Samuelson with Curt Lee, 6-9pm. (Wailea Gateway Center, 34 Wailea Gateway Pl.; 8797177) SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE – Every Thu., Erin Smith, 4-6pm. Every Fri, Randall Rospond, 4-6pm. Every Sat.,

Tom Conway, 4-6pm. Every Sun., Viva La Rumba, 4-6pm. Every Mon., Kanoa Kukaua, 4-6pm. Every Tue., Sebrina Barron, 4-6pm. Every Wed., Mark Johnstone, 4-6pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 874-6444) STELLA BLUES CAFE – Every Thu., Ah-Tim, 4-6pm. Every Fri., Ahumanu 4-6pm. Every Mon., Tom Cherry & Mike Finkeiwicz, 4-6pm. Every Tue., Tom Conway, 4-6pm. Every Wed., Randall Rospond, 4-6pm / Slam feat. David Choy & Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd.; 874-3779) TRADEWINDS POOLSIDE CAFE – Every Thu., Kawika Lum Ho, 6-9pm. Every Fri., Gina Martinelli, 6-9pm. Every Sat. Dominic or

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING? CALENDAR LISTINGS

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Mike, 6-9pm. Every Sun., Rob & Ron = R2, 6-9pm. Every Mon., Bobby Ingram & Friends, 6-9pm. Every Tue., Mike & Mark, 6-9pm. Every Wed., Steve Sargenti, 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.; 891-8860)

CENTRAL/UPCOUNTRY CAFE DES AMIS – Every Thu., Joe Conte, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Sat., Live Argentinian music, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Wed., Mark Johnstone, 6:30-8:30pm. (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 579-6323) CARY & EDDIE’S HIDEAWAY – Every Thu., Sun. & Tue., Francois, 6pm-close. Every Sun., Fausto, 9am-1pm. (500 N. Puunene Ave., Kahului; 873-6555) KAHULUI ALE HOUSE – Every Fri., Braddah Francis 4-8pm. Every Mon., Open Mic Night with hostess Teri Garrison, 8pm. Every Tue., Clay Mortensen, 5-8pm. Every Wed., Teri Garrison, 5-8pm / Free Karaoke Night with host Braddah Francis, 8pm. (355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului; 877-9001)

FEBRUARY 9, 2012

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HOROSCOPE

Sign Language BY CAERIEL CRESTIN AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

Even if you find yourself in a position where you could plausibly blame someone else for your mistakes or poor choices, should you? You might even be able to convince yourself that it was their fault, if you try hard enough, but what, then, will keep you from repeating those mistakes? Owning your own faults and missteps is something you must learn to do in order to grow and evolve as a person. Don’t shove responsibility off on someone else just because you can. That’s a child’s ploy. Be an adult and do what you need to do to become a better, smarter, and stronger person: own your screw-ups. PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

Closing the door on something bad is easy. Shutting out something that’s good in so many ways (but “wrong” in some fundamental way) is so much more difficult that you may find yourself trying to find reasons not to do it. But you know you’re at an impasse here, and prolonging this in any way will not only draw out the pain, but it will keep you from searching for (and hopefully finding) something that would be much more “right” for you, going forward. End this, now, firmly, so you can actually move on. Feel free to check behind this door in a year or three, to see if anything’s changed, but for right now, make sure it’s triple-locked and soundproofed. ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

People can apply very real emotions to really silly things. Don’t let the ferocity of their passion or anger disguise the fact that what they’re attaching it to is petty, ridiculous, unrealistic, or all three. You’re naturally inclined to sympathy for those in the grip of powerful feelings, so resisting getting swept up in the tide of their emotions may prove difficult. Focusing on what they’re getting so worked up about will help. Cut through the flurry of emotion and get to the heart of the matter. An unclouded perspective may reveal that this is actually a relatively simple problem to solve. Will you provide that, please? TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

Bigotry is never acceptable, even if it’s “funny.” Hatred can be wrapped up in very real, hard to resist humor—but it’s still a form of hatred. That doesn’t mean you need to become the PC police, but you can steer clear of that kind of thing without making a stink. Because your opinion matters, your lack of involvement will make a bigger, more effective statement than any kind of issue you might raise about it. This one’s easy: when someone says something offensive, do something about it if you feel called to; otherwise, just walk away. Weaker minds might just laugh along—you shouldn’t.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

Things change, and sometimes a new idea can capture your imagination and convince you to take a new path in life. Of course, those who might be affected (family, friends, lovers) might not quite be on board, or could be actively resistant. That doesn’t mean you should give up; persistence and patience are very useful here. However, pushing too hard too quickly will almost certainly get you the answer you least want. Be willing to take a more roundabout route to your destination, and longer to get there than you’d planned. If you insist on sticking with the exact agenda you have in mind, you’ll probably be making this trip solo.

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS

...to questions on page 4

1: C–“The whole thing’s just a publicity stunt anyway that no one takes seriously.” 2: E–All of the above 3: B–A new hotel.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

Virgos are more prone to guilt than other signs, especially about stuff that you actually aren’t responsible for, or weren’t in a position to do much about. Consequently you end up doing selfenforced penance for shit that wasn’t really your responsibility. I wish I could tell you to just “quit doing that,” but I know it’s not that easy; this is often a lifelong habit. Hopefully, I can convince you to at least go a little easier on yourself. Make your punishments less harsh and your responsibilities easier to bear. You deserve that. Ask anyone. LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

No matter how entertaining they might be, when someone talks at you instead of with you, it’s draining and not fun. Especially for you Libras, for whom balance is so important, an unbalanced conversation (especially one that’s habitually out of whack) will just leave a sour taste in your mouth. You’ve got some really cool shit to say, too. This particular monologist may not be willing or able to hear it, so if, after you’ve tried your best (and failed) to get a few words in edgewise, go find someone who’s more willing to share the spotlight. SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

The things that annoy you the most about someone at first can become the things you love the most, later. People’s supposedly “negative” qualities can sometimes be more attractive (to the right people) than their positive ones. They’re more memorable and interesting because of them. Acquiring a taste for someone’s supposed flaws is a powerful thing. Once you’ve learned how to love an extreme flavor, it often becomes one of your favorite things to eat. Make sense? If so, don’t be afraid to show at least glimpses of some of your supposedly less appealing quirks. They might be just the thing to whet someone’s appetite—for you.

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SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

Unrealistic expectations may be the name of the game right now. They’re all totally understandable, but that doesn’t make them any easier to live up to. This isn’t something that’s likely to be easily resolvable by just you, since at least some of those outlandish ideas are yours. When you’re in the thick of things, sometimes it’s hard to tell just what’s possible and what may simply be asking too much. Therefore, it’s time to invite along a third party who can give everyone involved a realistic, grounded perspective, and allow the compromise that will, ultimately, save the day.

Our animal natures incline us to violence when disagreements arise. Our conscious minds, however, recognize that there are usually better ways to resolve conflict. Sagittarians are unique in the power of your primal side and the razor-keen focus of your conscious mind. When these two aspects of yourself get into an epic clash, it can really mess you up, often leading to paralyzed inaction. Since such a battle may be looming, make up your mind now which one you’ll probably go with, in the event of a draw—so you don’t end up picking neither and doing nothing. CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

Laughing off a faux pas is generally the best way to move on from it. If someone’s had the good grace to address your gaffe with humor, blush and let it go, even though you’ll probably be sorely tempted to bring it up again (and possibly again and again) to reinforce just how sorry you are. Don’t do that. It’s over. Mentioning it again won’t accomplish anything except make it a bigger deal than it was, and making everyone (including you) more uncomfortable, not less. You might not be able to let it go in your head, and may keep kicking yourself for a long time to come—just, in the meantime, shut up about it.

Telling a Capricorn not to plan ahead is like telling a Cancer not to worry. It’s a built-in quality that’s hard to unlearn—and because (unlike Cancerian worrying) there’s tremendous benefit to planning for your future (both near and distant), you probably have little incentive to do so. However, the problem with plans is they can completely eclipse what’s actually happening in the moment—which might be better than your established agenda. Here’s the trick: Go ahead and plan, since you can’t stop yourself anyway. Then let go of your attachment to said plan; be astute and flexible enough to recognize if something better’s happening (or could be) and go with that, instead.

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

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