15.38 Has Time Run Out For The Triangle In Kihei?, March 8, 2012, Volume 15, Issue 38, MauiTime

Page 1

MARCH 8, 2012 + VOLUME 15 + ISSUE 38 + FREE

s a H

e m i T

t u O u n gle

RFor The Trian

? i e h i K n I 4, 1 h c r a M , y a sd e n d e On W

s e d i c e d t C i b L i h e th ther to pro ment whe ve entertainillage all li i Kalama V e h i K n i

m p 0 1 r e aft 0 1 e g Pa

T ’ N O D

S S I M CE HATN C R E U YO O GET IN H T

MIX!

DEADLINE: MAR. 23TH PUBLISHES: MAR. 29 TH

Photo by: Leilani Zerkle

To reserve space contact: Brad at 808-283-3260 or brad@mauitime.com Tommy at 808-283-0512 or tommy@mauitime.com

MAUI’S LARGEST SELECTION OF:

GLASS PIPES, VAPORIZERS WATER PIPES & ACCESSOORIES

DG;9L=< 9:GN= :D9;CA=K HAL KLGH AF CA@=A 874-1040 2

MARCH 8, 2012

Contents VOLUME 15

✚

READER FEEDBACK

ISSUE 38

BY READERS LIKE YOU THIS WEEK’S QUESTION:

MARCH 1, 2012 + VOLUME 15 + ISSUE 37 + FREE

Who’s your favorite current or former drug-addict celebrity? Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Billie Holiday (RIP) Associate Editor: Anu Yagi (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com @anuheayagi on Twitter Miles Davis (RIP) Proofreader: Dina Wilson Rush Limbaugh Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Carrot Top Art Director & Production Manager: Scrappers scrapperstown.com & thedepartmentofawesome.com Oprah Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia (Kurt Cobain (RIP)), Christina Tarleton Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Dana Plato (RIP) General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Judy Garland (RIP) Admin. Executive: Keo Eaton (808) 244-0777 The Lohans Admin. Assistant: Jennifer Brown Web Design: Linear Publishing Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Rick James (RIP)

4 NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY 10 DINING 12 17 THIS WEEK’S PICKS ALBUM REVIEW 19 FILM CRITIQUE 20 FILM TIMES 21 22 DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID 23 KULA KID 28 HOROSCOPE 29 CLASSIFIED 30 31 MIND, BODY & SPIRIT MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2011 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime. MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

Airport Insecurity

INVASIVE SCANS, INCOMPETENCE, CE,

THEFT, RACIAL PROFILING G

IS IT

TIME TO

DETAIN

TSA ?

Page 10

+

plus

The next big newspaper indreason why the AGAIN!!! Pag ustry is going to die, e7

HATES THE TSA [Editor’s note: the following two letters concerned our Mar. 1, 2012 cover story “Airport Insecurity.”] We are living a Brave New World in 2012! Aldous Huxley knew exactly what he was talking about in 1931. Today is the last day we can renew our driver’s license without having to prove “legal presence.” The state says the new rules are in effect because of 9/11. After today you need to provide an original birth certificate and social security card and passport to renew your driver’s license in Hawaii. It will take two weeks to get your new license and it will have a gold star on it to indicate that you’re in compliance. Scary times we’re living in. -Sheeple, via MauiTime.com

The world has always been scary, always will be. It’s security theater and yet another bloated taxpayer funded agency. This whole mindset is, by design, to get you to submit. To allow a rent a cop to put his hands down your pants is repulsive. It is not keeping us safe from “terrorists.” It’s a clear violation but these goons do whatever the hell they want. Zero respect for people who perform these insane acts for a paycheck and don’t question the validity of what they are doing–damn sheep and KoolAid drinkers. What happened to the wand and the good old metal detectors? It’s a bad mindset, and I think what these agents are doing to the American public is horrible, stealing in my mind being the least of it. And for those who say, “Don’t like it? Don’t fly,” these morons will be feeling you up soon when you go the store. It’s a slippery slope and we are moving right along. Very UnAmerican. -Amazed, via MauiTime.com

THANKS! Anthony [Pignataro] I just picked up your issue, issue 37 [Mar. 1, 2012]. You did a great job, man, keep it up. The Coconut Wireless: quite awesome, quite awesome, especially the “Bot or Not” thing. And the article on the non-profit thing helping Wailuku. Keep up the good work. My name is Raul Rios. I’m going to start a taco shop here on Maui: Raul’s Pinche Tacos, coming to a place near you... Keep up the good work. Aloha. Raul Rios, via voicemail

Send your feedback to the editor editor@mauitime.com, MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793, twitter.com/mauitime, or facebook.com/mauitime. We reserve the right to edit feedback. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of MauiTime.

We Like You Too!

2 1 for

ot, ful Pil kai” onder lo W o , M e d ic t Serv ee Maui an “Grea s o t r y o a is ome w - Trip Adv Awes

a‘aainl a Kam Speci

LOW PRICE!

Limited Time Offer! Mainland friends and family can go too! *Same day booking only. Subject to availability. Kama‘aina friends & family! Only one ID required.

hts of ighlig f the h aui...” o e n “O ip to M our tr Yelp -

Call Today!

877.7005 MARCH 8, 2012

3

Angel Baby

CONSIGNMENT BOUTIQUE

Blessing & Grand Opening Saturday, March 10th 2012 ├Э 12 noon JOIN US FOR OUR OFFICIAL STORE BLESSING & GRAND OPENING CELEBRATION HAWAIIAN BLESSING PERFORMED BY: WILMONT KAHAIALII JR.

$)".1"(/& t $61$",&4 t 3"''-& 13*;&4 (*7& "8":4 "/% .03& Angel Baby Consignment Boutique is Proud to OямАer: t #SBOE /FX /FBSMZ /FX #BCZ $MPUIFT 4IPFT 5PZT 'VSOJUVSF #SB t .BUFSOJUZ 8FBS BOE +VTU GPS .PN BDDFTTPSJFT t )BOENBEF #BCZ (JGUT #BCZ 4IPXFS $VTUPN 0SEFST t t (JGU $FSUJmDBUFT t .PNNZ T 8JTI -JTU 3FHJTUSZ t 'VSOJUVSF 3FOUBMT 4P .VDI .PSF

-JNBIBOB 1MBDF 4VJUF # -BIBJOB )* t "/(-

4

"TL BCPVU PVS #BCZ 'VSOJUVSF 3FOUBMT BOE i-JLF 6Tw 0O PVS QBHF

MARCH 8, 2012

NEWS&VIEWS

Sun Block

Four Maui County Councilmembers would prefer to meet in secret

Bob Carrroll

Danny Mateo

Joseph Pontanilla

Mike White

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

L

ET’S TALK for a moment about HB 2742. It’s a very short bill that exempted “legislative bodies of the counties of this State” from the Hawaii Sunshine Law, which mandates certain rules governing open meetings. In other words, if the bill passes, deliberative bodies like the Maui County Council would no longer have to maintain quorums of members before meeting or publish agendas and notices days in advance. Put simply, they would be able to meet with whoever they wanted and discuss whatever they wanted and decide on courses of action entirely in secret. The bill, introduced by Calvin Say (“by the request of another party,” according to the legislative website), immediately spurred furious reaction from citizens across the state. Their comments mostly ranged from straight opposition to revolutionary anger. On Feb. 21, the House Judiciary Committee very shrewdly voted to defer the measure, effectively banishing it to limbo for the rest of the legislative session. Of course, I said people “mostly” hate the bill. That’s because four lonely individuals stood up to say they thought the bill was a right, peachy idea. These individuals are Maui County Councilmembers Danny Mateo, Joseph Pontanilla, Bob Carroll and Mike White. “Thank you for the opportunity to testify in support of this important measure,” Mateo wrote to the House Judiciary Committee Chairman Gil Keith-Agaran on Feb. 18 (Pontanilla, Carroll and White wrote much shorter letters, basically just referring to Mateo’s letter and saying something to the effect of “What he said”). Now the Maui County Council never voted on whether to support HB 2742.

Nonetheless, Mateo was sufficiently moved to write his letter of support to Keith-Agaran anyway, noting that “I am providing this testimony in my capacity as an individual member of the Maui County Council.” Mateo started off by contrasting a lawmaking body like the County Council with an appointed board. His conclusion was that the Sunshine Law needed to govern appointed boards because they “have little accountability to the public once appointed and a narrow scope of responsibilities.” But Mateo said an elected body should be treated differently. “[W]hen applied to an elected board like a county council, who has direct accountability to the electorate and a broad range of responsibilities, these same [Sunshine Law] interpretations unjustifiably interfere with the important legislative work of the County Council,” Mateo wrote. For that reason, Mateo added, “the State Legislature was wise to exempt itself from the Sunshine Law, and should give the same consideration to the county councils.” The idea that the state Legislature was “wise” to exempt itself from open meeting requirements is hardly a universally held view. “The city council must not be exempted from sunshine laws,” wrote Choon James of Country Talk Story on Feb. 20. “Otherwise, it would disintegrate into what the House and Senate is like today.” But Mateo pushed further with the view that getting elected provided a level of accountability that transcended the need for public meetings. “[E]lected officials are directly accountable to the constituencies that elected them,” Mateo wrote. “If an elected official is conducting back-room deals, out of the eye of the public, then the official will not be re-elected.” As to how the public would learn of secret back-room meetings in the absence of Sunshine Law protections, Mateo didn’t

say. But no matter–Mateo waited until the very end of his letter before giving his real reason for supporting HB 2742. “With the strict regulations of the Sunshine Law on prohibited interactions, council members have little or no opportunity to communicate outside of meetings to find areas of agreement and avoid misunderstandings,” he wrote. Bingo! Mateo wants council members to be able to meet in secret, without quorums or properly noticed agendas and away from public scrutiny because it’s just more convenient for them. Debating issues in front of citizens and television cameras is, to be honest, rather messy. There’s great danger that hidden agendas and secret lobbying will be exposed. And

we all know how ugly disagreements between council members can get. You know what? Too bad. Democracy is at its messiest when it’s practiced openly and honestly. Secret meetings attract secret kickbacks, bribes and payoffs. More government, not less, needs to fall under the state’s open meetings requirements. Of course, if the potential for public embarrassment and hard work is too much for Mateo, Pontanilla, Carroll and White, they’re more than free to find what would undoubtedly be far more lucrative employment in the private sector. ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1538n1

Democracy is at its messiest when it’s practiced openly and honestly. Secret meetings attract secret kickbacks, bribes and payoffs. MARCH 8, 2012

5

NEWS&VIEWS

QUIZunderstood 2. According to a Mar. 2 Pacific Business News report, how fast have gas prices been rising (on average) in Hawaii? A. A penny a month. B. A penny a week. C. A penny every three days. D. A penny a day. E. A penny an hour. 3. On the morning of Saturday, Mar. 3, a

NOBODY DOES WHAT WE DO! WHAT WE DO IN OUR

REPAIR SHOP t $PNQMFUF %JBHOPTUJDT t 5SBOTNJTTJPOT t &OHJOFT t 'BDUPSZ 4FSWJDFT t 5VOF VQT t " $ 4FSWJDF 3FQBJST t $PNQMFUF #SBLF BOE 4VTQFOTJPO

Introducing Ruby!

1. To celebrate the 75th anniversary of Spam, the Hormel Corporation recently announced a new “spokescharacter� that would help celebrate the popular brand of canned meat (or whatever the hell Spam is). This character will appear in animated 15- and 30-second spots as well as online banner ads. What’s the name of the new character? A. Sir Spam-A-Lot. B. Sir Can-A-Lot. C. Spamman, The Canned Crusader. D. SuperSpam. E. Mel.

small number of residents stood on the side of South Kihei Road, waving signs. According to the Mar. 4 Maui News, what was their cause? A. Opposing a county plan to remove four Monkeypod trees. B. Opposing a bank’s plan to foreclose on a local resident’s home. C. Opposing the LC’s impending 10pm restriction on bars in Kihei Kalama Village. D. Supporting 2nd District Democratic congressional candidate Tulsi Gabbard. E. Supporting Sandra Fluke, the 30-yearold law student recently derided as a “slut� by Rush Limbaugh.

See answers, page 29

WHAT WE DO IN OUR

BODY SHOP

2011 BEST OF MAUI WINNER

BEST AUTO MECHANIC

t *OTVSBODF 4BMWBHFE 7FIJDMF 3FQBJS t $VTUPN #PEZ QBJOU t 'SBNF 4USBJHIUFOJOH t 3VTU 3FQBJS t #VNQFS 1BOFM 3FQBJS t 3FGJOJTIJOH

276.3801 "MBNBIB 4U ,BIVMVJ )*

$"-- /08

Platelet Rich Plasma Therapy

Harnessing the natural growth factors in your own blood to regenerate new healthy connective tissue. Finally enjoy the sports and activities you’ve been avoiding. Treating ligament, tendon & joint problems in: Čˆ necÂ? & bacÂ? Čˆ Â?nee & shoulder Čˆ anÂ?le & elbow Čˆ shin splints Čˆ plantar fascitis Čˆ T Čˆ ribs & hips Also available : Prolotherapy : Classical and Neural and Chelation Therapy

D r. N a t h a n E h r l i c h , N . D.

Licensed Naturopathic Physician erving aui since ͳ͝ͺͺ

Ola Ha Holistic Health Clinic ah—l—i ͺ͝;njͳͺͲͳ Čˆ Upcountry 572-1388 www.drnat.com 6

MARCH 8, 2012

NO: 8N'ER NE: MANAGEMEN7 7REA7

Lovely SPECIAL!

MANI-PEDI COMBO

YO8RSELF 7O A L8X8RY SPA EXPERIEN&E

NAIL & SPA ‡ AFU\OLF ‡ GHOLVK ‡ PLQN & :KLWH ‡ GOLWWHU AFU\OLF ‡ LLTXLG GHO ‡ FDFLDOV ‡ :D[LQJ

$

35

808.879.2600

Footsie SPECIAL!

REFLEXOLOGY MASSAGE ‡ &KLQHVH ‡ LRPL LRPL ‡ SZHGLVK ‡ 'HHS 7LVVXH ‡ +RW SWRQH 7UHDWPHQW

REFLEXOLOGY....$39.99 /1HR BODY MASSAGE.....$60 /1HR %8Y 0 SER9I&ES GE7 ONE FREE MAE#2634

808.879.8898

8 9 S. .I+EI R'. ‡ .8.8I MALL ‡ OPEN 'AILY 9AM 8PM ‡ :AL. INS :EL&OME

NEWS&VIEWS

Coconut Wireless

Talk of the Island

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO to prevent corruption in government,” Maruoka, testified. “Every step forward in protecting against corruption helps improve public confidence in government... We want all those who participate in the formulation of public policy, laws and rules to be held to a high standard.” Given the support HB 2175 has gotten so far, it seems the legislators have a different view of the term “high standard.”

HAWAII FIVE-O STAR HAS DRUG PROBLEM

Hawaii State Legislature

WILL THE LEGISLATURE EXEMPT TASK FORCES FROM ETHICS CODE? Investigative Reporter Ian Lind published a couple great blog posts on Mar. 5 listing a bunch of state bills that have passed their third readings. Making the list was HB 2175, a dandy of a bill introduced by 14 representatives. The bill’s quite simple, really: it exempts individuals (except those who are already state employees) who get named to special Task Forces by the governor or the Legislature from having to comply with the state Code of Ethics. Hot damn! And it’s apparently a very popular idea with our own state Attorney General David Louie. According to the written testimony submitted by Louie on Feb. 15 to the House Committee on Legislative Management, the bill is pragmatic and necessary. “[T]his bill recognizes two realities,” states the testimony. “[F]irst, that with increasing frequency, state officials and agencies need to deal with issues and situations that require technical or experiential information that government does not have and cannot readily obtain; and second, that individuals capable of providing state decision-makers with this knowledge and expertise often have acquired that information and experience by owning or working for businesses or other undertakings that deal with the very issues or situations with which government needs to deal.” In other words, because smart people are increasingly staying in private industry and away from government in all its forms (a very novel argument indeed for a government official to make), government needs to extend every courtesy and bend every rule possible to make sure the smart people help out government whenever possible. And if that means looking the other way when these smart people might in some way benefit in some small, personal, financial way by the recommendations they report as part of a special task force, then so be it. If I sound a bit cynical, note that I’m not

alone. In fact, JoAnn Maruoka, the Legislative Committee Member for the League of Women Voters of Hawaii, testified to the same committee and on the same day as the Attorney General’s office on the bill, but took a radically different view. According to Maruoka, HB 2175 is a travesty. “While we understand the need for and certainly encourage participation by citizens in such task forces and working groups, there is no sound reason for such an exemption,” Maruoka said. “We are gravely concerned about the inherent risks of actual or at the least the perception of conflict of interest, including undue influence and use of public office for personal gain. In fact, from a citizen’s perspective, this proposed exemption flies in the face of good sense and simply does not pass the smell test. It would not only set a bad tone, it could well start things down a slippery slope. In these times of badly-eroded public trust in government, it does not make sense to build in loopholes that are counter to openness and transparency.” And just to make sure the good legislators on the committee understood her point, Maruoka made it as pointed as possible. “The purpose in having a Code of Ethics is

Should anyone disagree with the notion that Lind is still the best investigative reporter in Hawaii, he also nailed the truth about Hawaii Five-O actor Alex O’Laughlin’s problem with prescription drugs. “The headline on the Star-Advertiser story today: “‘Five-0 star taking time off for health,’” Lind blogged on Mar. 3 “Like he’s just overworked and needs a rest. Then there’s a guarded reference to ‘problems with pain medication,’ sounding like perhaps there are problems prescribing the correct dosage or something.” The problem stemmed from the original statement released by O’Laughlin’s publicist: “Alex is taking a short break from Hawaii Five-0 to receive supervised treatment for prescription pain medication due to a recent

Alex O'Loughlin

Overheard “She’s pregnant. Don’t pay any attention. She’s mad so she’s being a witch.” -Woman at Ross in Kahului, Mar. 4

Governor Linda Lingle

shoulder injury.” Ah, the old shoulder injury line. Sounds pretty harmless. Except that, as Lind (and Hawaii News Now’s Ben Gutierrez) reported, O’Laughlin’s problems stem from “addiction to prescription drugs.” The AG wants to loosen up the state’s Code of Ethics, and now a popular actor who plays a Honolulu cop on TV is in rehab. And people think nothing happens in Hawaii.

EMILY SMACKS LINDA OVER ROY Ok, I’m going to run really quick through some extremely divisive social politics. First, Republican U.S. Senator Roy Blunt of Missouri tried to kill the Obama Administration’s controversial rule requiring insurance companies to cover the costs of contraception (this is the socalled Blunt Amendment, which failed). Then Honolulu Civil Beat reported that former Republican Governor Linda Lingle, who is running for the U.S. Senate seat currently held by Democrat Daniel Akaka, would have Blunt appear as a “Special Guest” at a fundraiser for her on Mar. 6 in Washington, D.C. Then EMILY’s List, the powerful pro-choice political action committee, sent out this press release the day of the fundraiser, smacking Lingle upside the head: “Linda Lingle’s days of pretending to be a moderate are over,” said Stephanie Schriock, President of EMILY’s List. “She may still be dodging questions about whether she supports right-wing Senator Blunt’s infamous proposal to give your boss control of your health care coverage, but she’s telling Hawai’i everything they need to know by highlighting Blunt’s support for her campaign at a Washington DC fundraiser. Let me be clear–in their zeal to deny women access to birth control, Republicans have threatened the health care of every man, woman, and child in Hawai’i by literally placing your medical decisions in the hands of your boss. If your boss thought childhood vaccinations were wrong, he would not have to cover them under Blunt’s proposal. If your boss thought unmarried women shouldn’t have babies, he could deny their maternity care coverage. It’s nothing short of stunning for Linda Lingle to publicly embrace Roy Blunt just days after his radical amendment was defeated in the Senate. And Hawai’i is definitely watching.” As for how all this turns out, stay tuned for the November elections.■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1538n2

MARCH 8, 2012

7

NEWS&VIEWS

MauiSphere Central Maui’s Only Pet Boutique

BY JEN RUSSO

Boutique Feel Without the Boutique Prices Made on Maui Aloha Dog Wear Unique Gifts For Your Pets

Share the Green

400 HANA HWY., KAHULUI 893-BARK (2275) t POUCHICOUTURE.COM

F O L L O W US!

8

MARCH 8, 2012

LOCAL PLUGS

HOW YOU CAN SHARE THE GREEN If you think St. Patty’s day is just an occasion to drink green beer and eat bangers and mash, then it’s time to step it up a notch and sign on for a spot at “Sharing the Green” on Mar. 17. This charity golf and extreme bocce tournament is spearheaded by Mike O’Dwyer, the owner of Mulligan’s on the Blue, Barry Helle, Mulligan’s general manager and Patrick Kilbride, the regional sales manager for Title Guarantee. These three Irishmen from Maui are dedicated to making a difference in our community by raising money for Back Pack Buddies of Kamalii School and Hospice Maui. O’Dwyer is known for his community involvement and generosity. The Hale Kau Kau golf tournament he's sponsored for the last nine years has helped feed the needy during the holidays. He says he gains inspiration from his wife Tiare, who teaches special education. O’Dwyer left Ireland at 20 and came to the U.S. to work in the food and beverage industry. He moved to Maui in 1996 to join the team at Four Seasons Wailea, and by May 2001 he had opened Mulligan’s. “Maui is a great island to make home and, believe it or not, it is very much like Ireland,” says O’Dwyer. “It feels good for me to be able to give back and show my thanks to Maui for accepting me.” Kilbride’s Irish family spans five generations in the U.S., beginning with his paternal great great grandfather’s relocation from Ireland in 1826. “When grandpa O’Connor left Ireland, he did not say goodbye,” says Kilbride. “He knew he had to leave. His mother had too many children to feed and he felt he was taking food away from his siblings.” Kilbride says his experience with hunger

growing up among 20 kids in the Kilbride and O’Connor families in Miami inspired him to help those in need. “The built-in personal drive I have to help and to serve has been part of me for years,” says Kilbride. “Because I was blessed with Living Angels along the way when I was growing up quite poor and often hungry in Miami in the 1950’s and 1960’s. Living Angels were there for me when I was in need and even helped lead me to where I am today.” Kilbride also attributes his ability to make a difference to his wife Linda Morgan, president of Linda Morgan & Associate, Inc., his daughter Katie and Title Guarantee. “TG makes it easy for us to find ways to support people all over the state by affording us the time and the funds for us to do our good works,” says Kilbride. “That, combined with my endless supply of energy and my passion to serve Maui’s families, makes it very easy for me to make a difference.” Backpack Buddies of Kamalii School helps hungry children by providing nutritional meals and snacks to youth whose primary source of food is the school cafeteria. The organization gives these children backpacks with food items to sustain them until returning to school for a meal. Hospice Maui helps terminally ill patients on Maui with in-home care, grief support and counseling. Sign up for the gold tournament by calling Mulligan’s at 874-1131. To sign up for extreme bocce, contact Kilbride at 264-4289 or by email at pkilbride@tghawaii.com. You can also get registration forms at hospicemaui.org/sharing.html.

MAUI ORAL HEALTH CENTER GETS NEW DENTAL CHAIRS! Somebody bought a lot of smiles this year to the Maui Oral Health Center (MOHC). The center provides affordable and accessible oral/dental health care to the underserved, low-income, uninsured families of Maui. The MOHC opened in 2002 with

Smile! (get it?)

the charitable donation of used equipment from local dentists. The age of the equipment and the variations in models made maintenance and repair expensive and sometimes impossible. But a local foundation that wishes to remain anonymous recently donated $100,000 to the center so it could acquire new dental chairs this year. The new chairs are key to the center so it can continue to provide oral/ dental health care services.

“Everyone on the UHMC Dental Program faculty, the staff and patients for the Maui Oral Health Center would like to express their MAHALO to the donor for this extremely valuable gift,” said Nancy Johnson, UH Maui College’s Allied Health Department Chair. The Maui Oral Health Center is a collaborative project sponsored by the members of the Maui County Dental Health Alliance, University of Hawaii Maui College, the County of Maui, Hui No Ke Ola Pono and the Maui District Health Office. On average, the center serves 800 to 1,000 Maui County residents each month. The MOHC is scheduled to move to a new site on the UH Maui College campus once the new science building has completed construction. The entire dental program will move into the renovated space, bringing the new dental chairs with them.

OPERATION SANDTASTIC RAISES $13,000 During the Annual Business Summit which took place Feb. 9-12, The Elite Hearing Network, one of the largest affiliations of independent hearing care providers in the U.S., held a fundraiser for the Maui National Guard and raised $13,000 with Operation Sandtastic. The event was a sand sculpting competition open only to the 900 attendees and vendor partners at the conference. “The fact that our network members and our vendors chose to spend some of their free time in fabulous Maui to come together and support our military speaks to how important these Guard members are to all of us,” said Paul Harkness, Vice President, Elite Hearing Network. “It was really a thrill to present the check to Melanie Cook of the Friends & Family organization, and Lt. Matthew Driggers from the National Guard. ” Nearly 200 network members participated and a total of $13,000 was donated to Family & Friends of Na Koa E Kapili, which relies entirely on community donations to support deployed soldiers, including the Maui National Guard. Riki Inzano from Art By Riki, a local professional sand sculptor, instructed participants on sand sculpting technique. Finished sculptures were judged by members of the National Guard, Amplifon President Heinz Ruch and Michele Fusco, Amplifon’s senior vice president for medical business operations. “We are so proud of our members and vendor partners who showed their sincere appreciation for the National Guard,” said Ruch. “It’s all too easy to take for granted the sacrifices these soldiers and their families make on our behalf, and giving back to them any way we can is the least we can do.” ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1538n3

NEWS&VIEWS

NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY CHUCK SHEPARD

TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE: ONE CANNIBAL, ONE VAMPIRE Newspapers in Sweden reported in January that two of the country’s most heinous murderers apparently fell in love with each other behind the locked doors of their psychiatric institution and, following a 26-day Internet-chat “courtship,” have decided to marry. Mr. Isakin Jonsson (“the Skara Cannibal”) was convicted of killing, decapitating and eating his girlfriend, and Michelle Gustafsson (“the Vampire Woman”) was convicted of killing a father of four and drinking his blood. Said the love-struck Jonsson to the newspaper Expressen, “I have never met anyone like [Michelle].” The pair will almost certainly remain locked up forever, but Gustafsson, on the Internet, wrote that she hopes they will be released, to live together and “have dogs and pursue our hobbies, piercing and tattoos.”

COMPELLING EXPLANATIONS In December, music teacher Kevin Gausepohl, 37, was charged in Tacoma, Wash., Municipal Court with communicating with a minor for immoral purposes, allegedly convincing a 17-yearold female student that she could sing better if she tried it naked. Gausepohl later told an investigator of his excitement about experimenting at the “human participant level” to determine how sexual arousal affects vocal range. The girl complied with “some of” Gausepohl’s requests, but finally balked and turned him in.

GHOSTS IN THE NEWS Michael West, 41, of Fond du Lac, Wis., at first said his wife hurt herself by falling, but finally acknowledged that she was attacked–but by ghosts, not by him. (He was charged, anyway, in January.) And Anthony Spicer, 29, was sentenced in January in Cincinnati after being discovered at an abandoned school among copper pipes that had been cut. He denied prosecutors’ assertions that he was collecting scrap metal–because he said he was actually looking for ghosts, since the school “is supposed to be haunted.”

IRONY Equity Lifestyle Properties of Chicago fired receptionist Sharon Smiley after 10 years’ service because she violated company policy by declining to stop working during her lunch hour. (The company’s strict policy is apparently based on avoiding liability for overtime pay, but Smiley had in fact clocked out for lunch while remaining at her desk.) Smiley subsequently applied for unemployment benefits, but the administrator denied them because the firing was for insubordination. However, in January, a state appeals court granted the benefits.

RACE RELATIONS A South Carolina circuit court ruled in December that the sales contract on a former theater in downtown Laurens, S.C., was binding and that the rightful owner is the African-American-head-

ed New Beginning Missionary Baptist Church– even though the property’s only current tenant is the Redneck Shop, which features Confederacy and Ku Klux Klan merchandise. New Beginnings purchased the church in 1997 from a Klan member who was unloading it because of a personal riff with the head klansman and who wanted it back after they reconciled.

THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX Rock Dagenais, 26, pleaded guilty recently to weapons charges after creating a siege by bringing a knife, a sawed-off rifle and 100 rounds of ammunition to a Quebec elementary school. He eventually surrendered peacefully and said he was only trying to send the kids a message not to disrespect each other by bullying. And Daniel Whitaker has been hospitalized in Indianapolis ever since November when he drove up the steps of the Indiana War Memorial with a gun, gasoline and an American flag and set the steps on fire. In an interview in December, he told WRTV that he was only trying to get everyone’s attention so they would think of Jesus Christ and “love each other.”

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

T

o the county crew that fixed the sign that some jerk ran over at Iao Valley road by the fork, good job! And good job of leaving all the rubbish from the old sign lying on the side of the road, plastic, metal pieces all over. Would have taken 2 minutes to sweep up. Is there a different county crew for this simple job? A week or so later the trash is still there. This is why Oahu workers take so many local jobs. Take pride in your work and your communities, PLEASE ■

LATEST HUMAN RIGHTS Librarians typically can shush patrons whose conversation disturbs others, but, at least in Washington state, librarians are powerless to prevent another “disturbance”–when a pornography user’s computer screen disgusts other library patrons who inadvertently glimpse it. A visitor to the Seattle Public Library complained in February that the librarian said she was bound by a 2010 state supreme court decision upholding the right of consumers of otherwise-legal pornography not to be censored.

Illustration by Ron Pitts mauiartistronpitts.com

LEAST COMPETENT SPIES The embarrassing disclosure in November by the Lebanon-based terrorist organization Hezbollah, of the CIA’s major clandestine operations in Beirut, likely resulted in the deaths of more than a dozen anti-Hezbollah CIA “assets,” according to ABC News reports. Among the details made public by Hezbollah was that it learned of the agents’ meetings with the potential “assets” (which took place at a Beirut Pizza Hut restaurant) by intercepting agents’ email messages that used the sly, stealthy “code” word “PIZZA.”

BRIGHT IDEAS South Korea’s Customs Service arrested eight men in January for a 2010 scheme to smuggle gold into Japan without paying import fees. The smugglers allegedly broke down gold bars into small beads and brought them in in their rectums. And in an advertising campaign in December for a new line of extreme push-up bras, the Dutch department store Hema hired as its fashion model the androgynous (but flatchested) superstar Andrej Pejic. ■ chuck@mauitime.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1538n4

MARCH 8, 2012

9

s a H

e m i T

t u O n

e u l g R The Trian For

? i e h i K In

es d i c e d C L e h t 14, nt e h m c r n i a M rta , e t y n a e d e s liv ne l l pm d e a 0 1 t i W r b i e n t h O af pro e g o o t a r l r l i a e t h V t a e a h n w g i lam a P K y i e n o h t in Kih n A By

M

ikhail Tassi is sitting at his own bar, the South Shore Tiki Lounge in Kihei, talking about what has become the hottest conversation topic in town. “I ran the numbers, and about 40 percent of our nightly revenue comes after 10pm,” he said. It’s a significant percentage. Tiki Lounge is a popular bar and restaurant that features live music at sunset and dancing to DJs every night. It’s just one of nine establishments that hold liquor licenses at the Kihei Kalama Village (KKV), a complex of bars, restaurants and shops colloquially known as the Barmuda Triangle. But the days of the Triangle being one of the premier nightclub destinations on the island may be rapidly coming to a close. On March 14, the Maui County Liquor Commission will hold a public hearing on whether it should prohibit all nightly entertainment past 10pm in the Triangle. This wouldn’t be a mere supplemental restriction added to liquor licenses based in the Triangle–the Liquor Commission is considering writing the restriction into the actual county liquor laws. The new restriction appears on page 36 of the 82-page package of new liquor rule language the Liquor Commission is considering. Much of that language deals with regulations governing things like “condotels” (condo-like vacation rentals), which didn’t really exist a decade ago.

10

MARCH 8, 2012

“Most of it is statutory,” said LC Director Franklyn Silva of the proposed language. “We’re just now catching up and putting it in the rules.” The Triangle portion is part of Section 08-101-27 dealing with various permits licensees would need if they want to have trade shows, outside warehousing, etc. If this passes, the rule governing dance permits would now read as follows (new language is italicized): “Area(s) for music, entertainment, and dancing[;] , provided that no food, beverages, or empty service containers shall be allowed on the approved areas for dancing; and provided further that all music, dancing, and entertainment shall cease not later than 10 p.m. for licensees located in the Kihei Kalama Village complex identified by TMK No. (2) 3-9- 003-007-0000;” Silva said this is happening because of complaints from people who live around the Triangle. “We’ve had lots of complaints from the surrounding neighbors,” said Silva. “The police complained, too, about assaults in the parking lot.” On Mar. 2, I emailed Lt. Wayne Ibarra, the Maui Police Department’s spokesman, asking for more details on the MPD’s concerns over the Triangle. That day he forwarded my request for comment to Captain Tivoli Faaumu, the Kihei Commander, but I didn’t received a response by press time. According to LC Chief Enforcement Officer Bill Pacheco, the department has received nine noise complaints from near-

by residents against licensees at the Triangle since July 2010 (older complaints, Pacheco explained, were purged for housekeeping reasons). Pacheco added that no citations resulted from the complaints, though he said he couldn’t say where exactly the complaints came from. “It’s a very tight, geographically small area,” Pacheco said. “Any one night, there’s always more than one licensee going off at any time. There are many factors when you measure sound– we don’t want to measure [background] traffic and attribute it to the licensee. Because of that, we’re not able to pinpoint any one licensee. Sometimes it’s even hard for the complaintant to pinpoint where the noise is coming from. We can’t measure it [the noise]. So we have to find other ways to address it.” Silva also said that the commission may or may not make a final decision on the Triangle at the March 14 hearing. However, if they do vote for the 10pm restriction, it wouldn’t become county law unless approved by Mayor Alan Arakawa. And Arakawa hasn’t been shy about saying that he sides with the LC. During an interview on K-Rock 97.3 FM’s “The A-Train” show on March 2, Arakawa said the whole problem with the Triangle is occurring because of individuals who cannot “behave themselves” and just need to “grow up.” Needless to say, establishment owners in the Triangle are terrified of what might happen if the commission approves the 10pm restriction. “We’ll go out of business,” Ambrosia owner Candice Seti told

s... s e n i s bu f o t ur u o o f o o g t .” “We’ll -five percen after 10pm Eighty ss happens er n w o e a i ros b busin m A , eti S e c i d -Can me. “Eighty-five percent of our business happens after 10pm.” Ambrosia, which is a bar only, is in an especially dire position. As for Tiki Lounge, which is also a restaurant, Tassi estimates that he’d have to cut 18 employees if the restriction went into effect, as well as a dozen musicians. But even shops in the Triangle that have nothing to do with live music or alcohol are scared. And outraged. “This is huge, huge,” said Lila Sherman, the owner of the Love Shack, an adult store in the heart of the Triangle. “Nobody will come here anymore. Nothing starts until 10, and the Liquor Commission knows that. If you do this for one bar, you do it for all. You don’t use your power to wipe out just some people.” According to Seti, who has talked over the issue extensively with other Triangle bar and restaurant owners, there is huge money and tons of jobs at stake. “Millions of dollars and hundreds of jobs would be lost,” she said, if the LC bans live entertainment after 10pm. Jeff Gerard, the vice president of MW Group, which manages the Triangle, confirmed that the 10pm restriction would cost the bars and restaurants there tremendously. According to numbers he ran, Lulu’s, Kahale’s, Three’s, Tiki Lounge, Ambrosia, Life’s a Beach and Dog & Duck would collectively suffer the loss of 105 jobs (including musicians), $1,522,694 in lost pay to employees and musicians and $3,047,750 in lost annual sales revenue. Seti also helped circulate an online petition that collected signatures from people opposed to the proposed rule change. “A lot of people who’ve signed the petition are frequent tourists,” she said. “They chose to come to Kihei because of the tropical beach feel, but also because of the nightlife. If there’s no nightlife, they said, they’ll vacation elsewhere.” At least one Triangle bar owner, who asked that we not use his name, has dealt with the LC over noise complaints before.

ts n i a l p com f o s t d lo ding a h e v “We’ he surroun from t ors.” a, v b l i h S g i n ly ne -Frank Director LC

“We had complaints,” the owner said. “The inspector came out with a decibel meter, but we had one of our own. We went outside one night when the band was playing and the inspector looked at the meter and said, ‘See? You’re too loud.’ But then the band stopped playing, and the meter stayed where it was. It turned out the compressors on the roof of Foodland were causing the noise the meter was picking up. Nobody said anything to me after that.” It’s very important to recognize here that the Triangle ultimately became “the Triangle”–the island’s most densely packed

n missio m o C r uo nty Liq Mar. 14, 9am u o C i Mau sday, Wedne 5 Kaohu St., u 214 uk 5, Wail re info 0 1 m o Ro for mo 3 5 7 7 3 Call 24 night club destination–because the LC let it happen. Every time a liquor license applicant goes before the commission, a staff member will read a report into the record stating exactly how many similar licenses are already nearby, as well as the presence of any churches or schools within a 500-foot radius. For years, Liquor Commissioners slept through these reports, paying little attention to location data. Coming back now, suddenly incensed that so many bars are packed into such a tight area, and start writing special license restrictions that penalize licensees because of their TMK number, is the

height of hypocrisy. This is also not the first time the Triangle as a whole has been on the Liquor Commission’s radar screen. Back in the summer of 2007, the Commission contemplated requiring a midnight closure for all liquor licensees at the Triangle. “That’s a bad area,” Silva told the commission at the time. “That’s Indian Country.” Then, as now, the Maui Police said a crime wave was plaguing the Triangle and “draining” their available resources. The problem, MPD officers told the Commission, was that “there are too many bars in a small area.” The commissioners bristled at the implied dig at them, replying that maybe the cops should just lobby the mayor for more money. In the end, the Triangle’s owners and management hired a private security firm (which is still active there today) and calmed down the crime situation, though the commission still placed some restrictions on Lulu’s–“because [the building is] kind of open,” Silva said. What happens at the LC hearing on Mar. 14, though, is anyone’s guess. Seti and Tassi told me they were rounding up people to attend the hearing, and it’s certainly possible they’ll pack the hearing chamber with owners, employees, musicians and patrons (it’s similarly likely that residents from nearby homes and apartment complexes will show up, too). As far as the Triangle bar owner who requested anonymity is concerned, he’s not sure what he’ll do. “It would definitely hurt our business, but I don’t know what choice we have,” he said. “I don’t particularly like it, but what choice do we have?” ■ anthoney@mauitime.com + apignataro To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1538L

r rd e a t h e n m e the t ’s ev to t a i t s d u e e B k ’ m t . o i n d t o l lou or t o c o e “Some complainta noise t d p n e s r a ’ n , i u g o e e e n “Th d, ‘See? Y ed playi for th nt where th can’t It . s i p a a p w e s i o and e band st d where it n the pinpo ing from. W ise]. e o th y s o n m a r n e t o o s h c s e t s r h s i [t te re r he e t p t e i h m g m e t o n r e o i c u h s d t au the c t meas ave to fin ” e u r o p.” e u d w e g d . h n n t i r n i e tu dla was pick o So w o address o F f ief roof o er t h e C er m C n e ways t L w h , o t o r c e e a s b oi ch cer s n a u ffi P o l O l m i t y n -B e on m n e A c r o f En MARCH 8, 2012

11

St. Patrick’s Day games & prizes

The Best Of Maui

Sat. March 17th $

3

green draft beer $ 3 Becks $4 Jamesons $ 5 Irish Carbombs

FREE GYOZA

Corn Beef & cabbage specials lahaina cafe

Gift Certificates available for any occasion

t Lahaina-Cafe.com 843 WAINEE ST. UNIT 1 & 2

MON – SAT 10:00AM – 9:30PM SUN 10:00AM – 9:00PM 7 +A@AHUMANU !VE s +AHULUI

SMALL PRICE :: FAST :: FRESH

(808) 873-9688

A LITTLE TASTE OF EVERYTHING

w/regular meal purchase

Daily Happy Hour s 2pm – 5pm

We cater for any size group

March 9th, 2012 Birthday Night! 2nd Friday Lahaina Town Party! Every 2nd Friday of the Month enjoy a FREE birthday burger Buy One Get One FREE Burger* * of equal or lesser value with an additional purchase. ** ID required, not valid with any other specials or coupons

THE BEST CHAMPAGNE BRUNCH

LIVE KONA LOBSTERS

0Ye%*he ]n]jq KYl Kmf

O]\& KlYjlaf_ Yl ,he

on the Island

$13.95

$2 MARGARITAS During Happy Hour

WE LIKE YOU TOO!

*%-HE 1%))HE

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK 26. N. MARKET ST.

-(- ^jgfl klj]]l Ă? 0(0&..*&(+(( Z]llqkZ]Y[`[Y^]&[ge Ă?^Y[]Zggc&[ge'Z]llqkZ]Y[`[Y^]

808.495.0259

!-!:)).' ' 3%! !3)$ $% 2% %34! !52 2!.43 s !-!:). .' (!009 9 (/523 3 The Best Of Maui

1st Place Winner

(APP PY ( (OURR PM

Best Mai Tai

55 Beers & 12 on Tap

SATURDAY & SUNDAY BRUNCH %GGS "ENEDICT s (UEVOS 2ANCHEROS Chillaquilles Housemade Museli & Greek Yogurt Freshly Baked Scones & Pastries

Big Eye IPA Ballast Point Brewing on Draft Guinness On Draft &RESH /YSTERS ON THE 3HELL s .APLES 3TYLE 0IZZA

808-667-9394 malaoceantavern.com 1307 Front Street Lahaina, HI 96761 12

MARCH 8, 2012

Featuring the elusive Belgian Delirium in 750ml bottles

808-667-9390 honumaui.com 1295 Front Street Lahaina, HI 96761

FOOD&DRINK

Italian Done Right

Fabiani’s Bakery and Pizzeria is simply delicious BY JEN RUSSO onto them. There are also large family style tables with benches, and it looks like they’re working on an The Fabianis, Gino, Lorenzo, and Michelle outdoor dining area that served as my daughter’s fenced in play area. Thank goodness, too, because after the pastries I fed her she had some steam to burn off. The menu is simple but makes its point with every dish. They have fresh baked goods and pastries, sandwiches, salads, pasta and pizza. Each item is executed well. The basil-infused olive oil in the caprese is a nice touch, as are the local Zuhair tomatoes. These are the kinds of touches that are put on just about everything on the menu. Michelle, a graduate of Johnson and Wales culinary academy, is an accomplished baker, having been a pastry chef for Longhi’s, Grand Wailea and the Oyster Bar. “Is that a cheesecake?” I asked her of one dessert. “No,” she beamed. “It’s called a ‘Bee Sting.’ Caramelized almond crust on top. That’s Bavarian creme inside.” PHOTOS BY SEAN MICHAEL HOWER Michelle says she loves making the desserts, which change every day. They bake all their own bread, from the foccacia to the brioche buns for the burgers to the New York style bagels. Randy Posenauer, another (super) baker at Fabiani’s, jokes that they are growing a field of wheat in the back of 95 E. Lipoa St. #101 the restaurant. Posenauer is also German, and I wonder if Kihei HI 96753 he is an influence behind the Caprese fabianis.com Bee Sting, also known as the 874-0888 Beinenstich cake. It’s a thin torte of sweet yeast dough At first, the people who live in the Lipoa area of Kihei sandwiches with inches of weren’t all that keen to have a new restaurant and bar open Bavarian creme and a sweet in the South Maui Center. The relatively recent opening almond crust crown. It’s unbeand closing of the old Kiwi Roadhouse in the same space lievably good. Of course, chocdidn’t help; that place’s bar fights and dark interior were olate croissants, fruit tarts and hardly family-friendly. assorted cupcakes will also Fast forward to today and drop in at Fabiani’s Bakery and tempt you at the bakery case. Pizzeria and you will see a 180 degree change. The bright As far as lunch goes, the panini I ordered came with a and friendly interior fills up fast over the dinner hour, while hot, crisp exterior that gave way to hot gooeyness: Zuhair topeople pop in to order take out and gaze in the bakery case. mato, pesto, mozzarella and chicken, in my case. The sandTheir in-house, fresh-baked pastries and amazing Italian wiches are all served in a basket with salad–fresh mixed coffee make it a great spot to pick up breakfast or get sandKula greens, diced candied macadamia and their house wiches and pizza for lunch. lilikoi vanilla vinaigrette dressing. Family is important to Lorenzo and Michelle Fabiani. For a Girl's Day celebration, my girlfriend and I giggled They have a one-year over glasses of Valdobbiold son named Gino, so adene prosecco and pizza. family is at the heart of We tried “The Fabiani”– their eatery. salami, mushrooms and Their restaurant is brie. I usually feel that simple and elegant, fashwhen you heat salami, ionable without being the gamey flavors are exoverly stylized. Tall bar posed, but the star of the seating lines one side and show is their crust, thin, their four- and two-top crisp and chewy. With tables have basic wood chunks of brie and mushPepperoni Pizza Pie chairs with “Wailea” and rooms the pie becomes “Lahaina” char-branded earthy and wonderful. We

Fabiani’s Bakery and Pizzeria

devoured every morsel and decided that on the next one we would sub proscuitto for the salami and see what happens to the flavor. Bethany Gingerich and Joe Cicchino, who own nearby Elise Clothing Company, said they love the “Maui Veggie” pizza, though they add goat cheese to it. At lunch the 12” pizza is $10, which you can order gluten-free for $1.99 more. Later, I stopped in for dinner. Sitting on a sofa near the entrance, I sipped an excellent cappuccino while enjoying

Chicken Pesto Panini

a bird’s eye view of the kitchen. The dinner rush was on and Chef Joe Caccamo was expertly negotiating pizzas in and out of the oven. My linguini with clams came just how I like, with thick, juicy clams in the shell, a white wine butter sauce with bits of fresh flat leaf parsley and perfect al dente pasta. I asked Lorenzo if he makes his own pasta. “Not yet,” he said. “Not the linguine. The lasagna we do.” I couldn’t help ordering “Lorenzo’s Garlic Bread,” that says “it’s just like Mama used to make.” I pictured Lorenzo’s mama making this delicious buttery garlicky foccacia toast to go with her pasta, and wondered what Lorenzo might think of my mama who made rice, but never bread like this. The tako carpaccio is a stunning dish, one Lorenzo has taken from home in Italy’s Cinque Terre region. I love eating octopus but have never had it served like this. Paper thin slices of tako are drizzled with the same green basil-infused olive oil also seen in the caprese and then diced local tomato, pine nuts and fresh basil are sprinkled over it. I poked one round edge with a fork tine and rolled the whole business up around the utensil and bit. The seafood’s usual chewy bite is masked by the micro thin slice, which gives way to crunchy pine nuts and billowy basil aroma. “I admit I didn’t want them to open another restaurant here at first, but now I am happy,” Marlene Rivera told me. “I am here everyday. I love their food.” ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso

For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1538d1

MARCH 8, 2012

13

&2%3( .!!. "2%!$ $ 72!03 starting at...

7 -!5) 3 "%34 .%7

-!$% 4/ /2$%2 LUNCH $ "/8%3 starting at...

Saffron ¦

Indian Cafe & Grill ¦

2395 S. KIHEI RD., KIHEI (Across Kamaole Beach 1)

9

2%34!52!.4

TUES-SUN 11AM-9PM SERVING LUNCH & DINNER &2%% 7) &) s 4!+% /54 /2'!.)# s 6%'!. s &2%3( s !&&/2$!",%

808.879.7000

4(<0 )9,>05. *6 4(<0 70;)<33 9,:*<, ;(7 7(9;@ ),5,-0;

-90+(@ 4(9*/ ;/

-,(;< -,(;<905. 6<9 <9 9 ),36=,+

*6*65<; 769;,9 05-<:,+ >0;/ 2636( 9<4 :6(2,+ =(5033( ),(5:

/,37 ),5,-0; /VUVHWPPSHUP /^` 2HOHUH .H[L^H` *LU[LY 3HOHPUH ‹ ^^^ 4H\P)YL^PUN*V JVT 14

MARCH 8, 2012

FOOD&DRINK

Talking Story With Chef Sheldon Simeon BY JEN RUSSO about utilizing in the kitchen? SIMEON: The taro from our very own Hoaloha Farms. Bobby Pahia is doing an amazing job of cultivating some of the best looking crops I’ve ever seen up in Waikapu and Wailuku. We make our own poi at Old Lahaina Luau and Aloha Mixed Plate. I have taro chips and taro vinaigrettes, and you will see taro dishes as a special of the day at Star Noodle and Leoda’s.

Sheldon Simeon

M

aui Chef Sheldon Simeon is more than a rising star in food. He’s pretty much on a roll right now when it comes to being nominated and recognized in the industry. He’s responsible for the amazing menus at Star Noodle and Leoda’s Kitchen and Pie Shop but he’s also just a humble local boy from the Big Island. So when he contacted me with his latest nomination for Food and Wine Magazine’s “People’s Best New Chef 2012,� an award that honors talented innovators who have run their own kitchen for five years or less, I was thrilled. He’s the only nominee representing Hawaii nei, and he joins nine other chef nominees for the Northwest and Pacific Region. It’s a real people's choice award, and you can vote at foodandwine.com/peoples-bnc. He’s up against 99 other chefs and the winner will be announced on Mar. 12, 2012. In the meantime, we got Chef Simeon to answer a few juicy questions about food and beverage on Maui. MAUITIME: Congratulations on this Food & Wine “People’s Best New Chef� nomination! What are some of your other accolades? SHELDON SIMEON: –Food & Wine magazine 2012, Best New Chef, People's Choice, nominee –James Beard Foundation: 2011 Rising Star Chef of the Year, semifinalist –James Beard Foundation: 2011 Best New Restaurant, semifinalist –Maui Filipino Chamber of Commerce: 2011 Master Pinoy Chef –Maui No Ka Oi magazine Aipono Award: 2011 Chef of the Year –Maui No Ka Oi magazine Aipono Awaard: 2011 Best New Restaurant –MauiTime 2010 Best of Maui: Best Chef –MauiTime 2011 Best of Maui: Best Chef

–MauiTime 2010 Best of Maui: Best New Restaurant –MauiTime 2011 Best of Maui: Best Restaurant –Maui News 2010 Best of Maui: Maui’s Best Chef –Maui News 2011 Best of Maui: Maui’s Best Chef –Maui News 2010 Best of Maui: Best New Restaurant MT: Wow! No shame, Chef! I’m sure winning Best of Maui best chef and best new restaurant back to back is one of your proudest moments, but how do you define success as a chef on Maui? SIMEON: The ability to showcase local ingredients and incorporate local culture into your food. The food scene here on Maui is constantly growing. Just as important as the sightseeing and activities, visitors are planning their stay here around, “where are we gonna eat?� As a chef, if I am able to have someone maybe taste a super sweet Olowalu tomato or eat raw ahi or experience local flavor combinations that they otherwise wouldn’t have anywhere else, I would feel that I’ve contributed as a chef here on Maui. MT: What dishes are you most proud of on your menus at Star Noodle and Leoda’s? SIMEON: The Pohole Salad. This dish reflects my homegrown roots of Hilo. MT: Ok, Star Noodle’s Pohole Salad is truly amazing. Any other dishes that stand out? SIMEON: I’m also proud of the fresh made noodles that we make in house. Just the process of making our noodles, from carefully mixing in the water to the flour, to rolling it out on our 75-year-old noodle machine, to drying it overnight, cooking it all fresh in the morning, to hand drying it, makes it very special. MT: What Maui ingredients are you fired up

MT: What makes cooking a pleasure more than a job for you? SIMEON: Cooking to me is very intimate. You touch it, smell it, taste it. I love that I get to share that moment when someone tastes your food. Food always conjures up memories. I’d like to hope it’s mostly positive when tasting my food, but nothing is more satisfying to me than someone having the reaction of “this reminds me of my childhood� or “that’s like mom’s cooking�–something along those lines. MT: Do you still work in the kitchen a lot? SIMEON: I do still get in the kitchen and cook a bit. It’s what like I to call, “rubbing elbows with the crew.� It’s still important to me to be able to constantly mentor by example. However, with the popularity of Star Noodle and Leoda’s, there has been a rise of responsibilities outside of the kitchen. MT: Do you cook at home? SIMEON: I don’t get to cook at home as much as I’d like too. My wife Janice does most of the cooking for the family. But when we do have the chance to have company over at the house I love to throw down. I enjoy nothing more than cooking over the hibachi... of course, with a nice, cold beverage in hand. MT: What’s your favorite thing to eat if you are not cooking? Who makes it? SIMEON: Raw Crab and Opihi. Usually I will be eating these at some kind of local party like a first baby luau or graduation party. But I will go to town on Raw Crab and Opihi! ■jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso

Late Night Menu ‘til midnight

For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1538d2 VOTE FOR CHEF SHELDON AT FOOD+WINE'S PEOPLES CHOICE AWARD FOODANDWINE.COM/PEOPLES-BNC

THE BEST PHILLY CHEESESTEAK ON MAUI! ¡$5 BREAKFAST DEAL EVERYDAY 8AM-10AM ¡HAPPY HOUR 3-6PM & 9-11PM ¡LIVE MUSIC NIGHTLY! '30/5 45 Â… -")"*/" NEXT TO COOL CAT CAFE OPEN 8AM - MIDNIGHT - DAILY

MARCH 8, 2012

15

OVERTONE

Wharf

A CAPPELLA AS YOU’VE NEVER HEARD IT!

THE

LAHAINA LIVE AT

LIVE IN CONCERT!

Friday, March 9th

-*7& &/5&35"*/.&/5 t $&/5&3 45"(&

Lui Williams from 4-5:30pm Live Remote with Maui’s

‘Queen of Radio’ Alakai from 6-9pm Hula Halau

Kealakahinano O Puna at 5:45pm

SPIN THE PRIZE WHEEL! WIN WHARF BUCKS

(*'5 $&35*'*$"5&4 t MOVIE TICKETS & MORE!!

KARAOKE CONTEST 1ST PLACE WINS:

ROUND TRIP TICKETS TO THE MAINLAND! EMCEE TODDY LILIKOI

FRIDAY MARCH 9TH 7:30PM

MCCOY STUDIO THEATER // MAUI ARTS & CULTURAL CENTER COME SEE THE VOCAL BAND CLINT EASTWOOD BROUGHT TO THE USA. TICKETS: $25 AND $45 / INCLUDES VIP-POST- SHOW TALK STORY

AVAILABLE AT THE MACC BOX OFFICE OR

SHOPS & RESTAURANTS /PEN $AILY AM PM s &RONT 3T s ,AHAINA !CROSS FROM ,AHAINA (ARBOR AND THE 7ORLD &AMOUS "ANYAN 4REE s WWW THEWHARFCINEMACENTER COM

808.242.SHOW (7469)

or www.MAUIARTS.org

*THIS EVENT WILL BE TAPED FOR A TELEVSION SHOW FEATURING OVERTONE

THE LARGEST LIQUOR SELECTION IN HAWAII NOW IN A

NEW CONVENIENT LOCATION!

AT THE MAUI MARKETPLACE 2 DOORS DOWN FROM OUR PREVIOUS LOCATION

HAPPY HA HAP H AP PPY Y HOU HO H HOUR OUR OU UR 3 3-6PM/LIVE -6P -6 -6PM PM M/LI LIV LIV LIVE IVE I EM MUS MUSIC US U USI USIC SIC E S EVERY VE VER V ERY RY WEEK W WEEKEND EE EEK EKEN END E N ND

THURSDAY 3.8 8

SOUL CONGRESS W/ CLAY MORTENSON ÐËN ÐË ÐËN º -Â Â,#) N º -Â

FRIDAY 3.9

OWAILA W/ CHAD KAYA AND RYAN REGO OPENING ËN º -Â Â,#) ËN ËN º -Â Â, -Â Â, ,#)

SATURDAY 3.10 OVER

300

BEERS

HAWAII 1,000 LIQUOR OVER

FINE WINES

OPEN DAILY 9AM-10PM

MAUI MARKETPLACE 270 DAIRY RD

808.877.8778 16

MARCH 8, 2012

BEER BY THE

K EG CIGARS & GIFTS

VEGAS

W/ NEXT LEVEL ENTERTAINMENT

ËN º -Â Â,#) ËN ËN -Â -Â Â,#)

*O-Ê Q ç

THE GINA

MARTINELLI BAND 8:30PM º -Â Â,#)

;#Ê-#*Ê Q ç à ;#Ê-#*Ê Q ;#Ê-#*Ê Q à

BLUES WITH THE HOUSE SHAKERS !é ËN º -Â Â,#)

808.879.3133 1945 S Kihei Road, Suite G

PICKS

DIVERSIONS, DALLIANCES & DATES BY ANU YAGI

THURSDAY, MARCH 8 TEA PARTY TIME – Nigh onto 25 years ago, I became a tea party enthusiast.. But not for all the tea in China would I have guessed that the default pastime of little girls ng up, would’ve gained so much popularity in years of late! I guess everyone loves dressing hanging out with their BFFs and using their imagination. Every second Thursday of the month, TEA Party Maui gets together for their general monthly meeting to “seek ways to become more involved in the policies that affect our ohana.” However, convening on a Kahului street corner, to me, feels a little like that Steve Buscemi scene in Con Air (1997)–but to each her own cup of tea, right? Free. Every second Thu., 6-7:30pm. Corner of Alamaha St. and Papa Pl., Kahului (look for the American flag); teapartymaui.com

HORN TOOTIN’ WITH THE SPRING WIND QUINTET – Considered “a major force in the development of chamber music in Hawaii,” the Spring Wind Quintet is recognized as one of the nation’s leading wind quintets. This Thursday evening, the ensemble–comprised of Claire Butin (flute), J. Scott Janusch (oboe), James Moffitt (clarinet), Jonathan Parrish (horn), and Marsha Schweitzer (bassoon)–performs a selection of classical music as well as arrangements of traditional Hawaiian songs. The program also includes demonstrations of how each instrument’s sound is made, how the quintet performs together, and a Q&A session. Produced by the UH-Manoa Outreach College’s Statewide Cultural Extension Program, this 45-minute program is partially funded by the Maui Friends of the Library. Free. 6:30pm. Wailuku Public Library (251 High St.); 243-5766; librarieshawaii.org

FRIDAY, MARCH 9 MAPPING OF LAHAINA EXHIBIT + THE STORY OF HAWAII – Fri. & Sat., Mar. 9-10. Hey, remember that cover story last October where our editor Anthony Pignataro wrote about The Mapping of Hawaii traveling exhibit at the Bailey House Museum (augmented by the killer hand p painted cover art by MauiTime’s own Scrappers)? Well, it gets better! The delightfully erudite historian Bryant Neal (the man behind all this historic goodness) is opening a museum in Ma‘alaea, and the soft opening’s this weekend. Guest speaker Riley Moffat, author and BYU map historian, returns to Maui to give illustrated talk on the mapping of Lahaina town (covering the years 1819 to 1975), highlighting fascinating insurance maps enlarged and aggregated for the very first time, plus a priceless Lahainaluna Atlas, on view for the first time in a century. The first of these presentations is on Friday (Mar. 9, 7:30pm), on the Baldwin Home Museum’s lawn (located on the corner of Front Street and Dickenson), followed by a gallery reception on Saturday, (Mar. 10, 3-6:30pm) at the Ma‘alaea Harbor Shops. On Saturday, in addition to Moffat’s lecture, Neal will provide an interpretive illustrated tour through the history of the i islands–which speaks to just what makes this museum so special. Because sure, you can get all you n need to know about Hawaii’s aboriginal history if you travel to the Oahu’s Bishop Museum, and insight in missionary and plantation history from the Bailey House and Sugar Museum, respectively–but where into c you get an overview from Polynesian migration up to World War II? Nowhere–until now. Neal’s can un unprecedented collection of antique and vintage maps, ephemera and artifacts (like vibrant menus from M Matson’s SS Lurline and rare WWII propaganda from Japan) gives history enthusiasts the chance to study rarely seen items first hand. mappingofhawaii.com; 283-3576

OVERTONE IN CONCERT– NCERT– Fri., Mar. 9. The South African nd intervocal band Overtone found ng national fame after being me discovered by part-time Mauians Dina and Clint Eastwood, and contributing fives songs to the soundtrack for Invictus (2009). Impressively, this six-member a cappella group (not to be confused with The Overtones–the similar, but slightly slicker, UK-based vocal harmony group) has a repertoire of more than 100 songs and sings in four languages–English, Zulu, Afrikaans and a bit of Hindi. The group is now the subject of a new television show, being shot partially on Maui, and MACC patrons should note Overtone’s concert will be filmed for broadcast. $25 / $45 VIP (includes meet-and-greet with artists after the show). 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242 SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org / overtoneband.com

SATURDAY, MARCH 10 DON’T FORGET TO BRING A TOWEL: SURF, DANCE AND RAGE AT “SOUND SPLASH” – This Saturday, X-Klusive Sounds Productions presents an alcohol-and drug-free rager for folks 16-to 21-years-old at Kihei’s Maui Big Wave. Flowboarding (i.e. surfing artificial waves which are created by a fast-flowing layer of water, several inches thick, pumped over a substrate made to mimic the shape of ocean waves) might seem nonsensical on the shores of an island chain that invented the sport of surfing. But think of it this way: you can’t surf the sea with dope DJs like Kollision, Gemini, A.P and Buddha still within earshot–like you can at Saturday’s “Sound Splash” event–nor can you do so at night without na wahine missing your sweet tricks and epic fails. Not to mention the fact that it typically costs $30-$50 per hour to just to flowboard, whereas this event costs but a pittance plus comes with a party. Presale passes available at Solid Clothing Company. Pre-sale: $6 party pass / $10 1-hour surf + party pass / Door: $10 party pass / $15 1-hour surf + party pass. 6-11pm. Maui Big Wave (22 Alahele Pl., Kihei); facebook.com/djkollision

DJ MARQUES WYATT HEADLINES “RITUAL MAUI” WITH AMARA PAGANO AND “MAUI GETS DEEP” WITH MARASCO – Marques Wyatt is a West Coast legend and a seminal force in the United States’ DJ scene. Known for turning huge dance floors into an intimate ritual, he’s now committed to merging his worlds of music, yoga and other spiritual practices via consciousness-driven events. This Saturday, Wyatt and “conscious dance facilitator” Amara Pagano are joining forces to present “RITUAL Maui,” a rhythmic healing journey through music and sacred dance. Open to everyone, this workshop–held at Studio Maui–invites you to journey within to “discover your own unique moving meditation.” Later that night, follow Wyatt further Upcountry to Casanova for “Maui Gets Deep,” featuring Maui’s own DJ Marasco. Many associate Wyatt with “DEEP,” the illustrious dance event (13 years running) that he nurtured in his hometown of Los Angeles. So if you’re like Wyatt and “hunger for new sounds, technical precision and notions of spiritual and political enlightenment through sound and movement,” check out these shows. Ritual Maui: $15 advance / $20 door. 7:30-9:30pm. Studio Maui (Haiku Marketplace, 810 Haiku Rd.); 575-9390; thestudiomaui.com / Maui Gets Deep: $20. 9:30pm-1:30am. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 572-0220; casanovamaui.com

SUNDAY, MARCH 11 LAHAINA WHALE AND OCEAN ARTS FESTIVAL – Sat. & Sun., Mar. 10-11. The town formerly known as the whaling capital of the world now celebrates the annual migration of Pacific Humpback whales (harpoonless!) with the Lahaina Whale and Ocean Arts Festival, sponsored by the Lahaina Town Action Committee. This weekend at the Banyan Tree Park, local artists display and sell their best marine-themed art while musicians and hula troupes entertain. Keiki can partake in the ocean art contest and featured touch-pool exhibit by the Maui Ocean Center. Plus, the festival features dozens of events and displays–by such local organizations as Hawaii Ocean Project, Whale Trust and the Hawaiian Island Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary–offering residents and visitors alike the chance to learn more about our wintertime denizens of the deep. Free. 9am-5pm. Banyan Tree Park (Front St., Lahaina); visitlahaina.com

JOHN GROVER BAND AT BULLY’S BURGERS – Paniolo party people all know that Kanaio’s authentic country (Hawaii’s the Western-and Southernmost state, after all). Now, those bad-ass lands have a restaurant that captures its flavor, Bully’s Burgers, located just four miles past Tedeschi Vineyards. Every month, Bully’s features a raucous jam, and this Sun. you can groove to the John Grover Band while grinding on all-natural, free-range beef burgers. No cover. 2pm-dusk. Bully’s Burgers, Triple L Ranch (15900 Piilani Highway); 878-3273; triplelranchmaui.com

MONDAY, MARCH 12 THE BLUES SPIRIT OF MAUI AT HARD ROCK CAFE – If you’ve got a case of the Mondays, fear not. Boogie woogie your blues away at Hard Rock Cafe with The Blues Spirit of Maui, performing every Monday night. But whatever night you might need reprieve from the day’s grind, Hard Rock’s got you covered (without charging you a cover). Tuesday nights feature Kenny Roberts, while Wednes-

TUESDAY, MARCH 13 FREE LECTURE: “A JEWEL IN THE GULF OF MEXICO” BY EMMA HICKERSON – This Tuesday, the Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary (HIHWNMS) hosts a free talk by Emma Hickerson, titled “A Jewel in the Gulf of Mexico.” Since 1997, Hickerson has been the research coordinator at the Flower Garden Banks National Marine Sanctuary (FGBNMS), where her research has focused on both habitat characterization and the collection of highresolution multibeam bathymetry (i.e. the underwater equivalent of hypsometry or typography). Both FGBNMS and HIHWNMS are among the 14 federally designated underwater areas protected by NOAA’s Office of National Marine Sanctuaries. Situated 70 to 115 miles off the coasts of Texas and Louisiana, FGBNMS includes underwater communities that rise from the depths of the Gulf of Mexico atop underwater mountains called salt domes, and is named for the brightly colored sponges, plants and other marine life that call the area home. Free. 7-9pm. Learning Center, HIHWNMS (726 S. Kihei Rd.); 879-2818 ext. 21; hawaiihumpbackwhale.noaa.gov / flowergarden.noaa.gov

days see Evan Shulman; Thursdays feature Indio & Avi and Saturdays are stirred-up by The House Shakers. Plus, the Hard Rock Rising battle of the bands is now taking place–the perfect time and venue to catch on-the-rise acts. No cover. 8-11pm (21+ after 10pm). Hard Rock Cafe (900 Front St., Lahaina); 667-7400

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14 HOUSE DANCING WORKSHOP WITH HONOLULU’S LYANNE BROOKS + GRAMMY WINNER NADIRAH SHAKOOR WITH DJS CIA AND DEL SOL – Whether you’re looking to up the ante of your already impressive arsenal of bust-able moves or need to peel your pressed-flower self off the club wall, check out the house dancing workshop at Vineyard Street Food Company. Dance instructor Lyanne Brooks is traveling from Honolulu to teach the class, sharing the fun benefits of house music’s “sophisticated version of breakdancing.” And to help you refuel after your workout, you can opt-in for the afterworkshop meal which includes seasonal fruit, assorted cheeses, coconut shrimp with a honey wasabi dip and asparagus wrapped with prosciutto. (As space is limited, be sure to register in advance by emailing soulgasmhawaii@gmail.com.) Later that night, test what you’ve learned at Ambrosia’s late night with the sounds of Grammy Winner Nadirah Shakoor (who’s on Maui thanks to Brooks) plus DJs CIA and Del Sol. Notably, Shakoor joined Arrested Development in 1992 as their featured female vocalist, and in 1995 joined Jimmy Buffett’s Coral Reefer Band as a backup singer. Her latest CD, Nod to the Storyteller, is a tribute to Buffet. House Dancing Workshop: $15 class-only / $30 class + meal. 6-9pm. Vineyard Food Company (1951 E. Vineyard St., Wailuku) / Late Night : No cover. 10pm-2am. Ambrosia Martini Lounge (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); cnbscene.com

MARCH 8, 2012

17

YOUR SCION NO HAGGLE, NO HASSLE.

THE 2012 SCION tC STARTING AT

$19,600 THE ALL-NEW SCION tC TakeOnTheMachine.com

Photo Courtesy of Jay Parco

Š2012 Scion, a marque of Toyota Motor Sales U.S.A., Inc. All rights reserved. Scion, the Scion logo, and tC are trademarks of Toyota Motor Corporation.

18

MARCH 8, 2012

PICKS BY KEO EATON

Mayhem from last year

9th Annual Menehune Mayhem Film Screening (21+) – Thu. (Mar. 8), 9pm-close, Lulu’s Lahaina (Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy.); 661-0808 Junior Surf Competition – Sat. (Mar. 10), 8am-4pm, Ho‘okipa Beach Park; updates via @RedBullAloha / @IanWalsh4 / @FoxSurf After Party (21+) – Sat. (Mar. 10), 9pm-close, Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 579-8085

L

ocal surf hero Ian Walsh hosts a weekend surf extravaganza, surrounding his 9th Annual Menehune Mayhem Junior Surf Contest. Events kick off with a film screening on Thursday night (Mar. 8) at Lulu’s Lahaina, where adrenaline junkies 21-and-over can get some serious ass-clenching inspiration by witnessing Walsh vs. Jaws (he’s mic’ed to boot!) in the groundbreaking short, Red Bull Soundwave. Come Saturday morning (Mar. 10), the shores of Walsh’s Ho‘okipa home break transform into an observation deck where admirers can catch Maui’s top amateur rippers competing in the all-day junior surf competi-

tion. This free event showcases the best local surf talent, all the while promoting pono advancement in our isle’s youth both in and out of the water. One unique aspect to Walsh’s Menehue Mayhem is that–in addition to the four final podium positions–awards are given to both the boy and girl rippers with the highest GPA, and five additional memorial awards (honoring Walsh’s friends who have passed away) are presented for sportsmanship. All groms get hooked up with free grinds, sick prizes and awards galore during this day of fun activities–so it’s no wonder the contest divisions fill up fast. (If you’re interested in participating, pick up an entry form at Hi-Tech Surf shops. Divisions include Girls 11-andunder, Girls 12-14, Girls 15-17, Boys 9-andunder, Boys 10-11, Boys 12-13, Boys 14-15, and Boys 16-17. Entry forms should be mailed to 720 #5 Hana Hwy., Paia.) And with Red Bull and Fox sponsoring the event, Walsh’s surf fest features major surf schwag, appearances by other famed surfers (including twins Shaun and D.K. Walsh), plus live performances by “Honolulu’s top nightlife entertainer� DJ Eskae, and Red Bull’s Thre3style champion, DJ Compose. Capping off this surf-and sunfilled weekend, 21-and-over chargers (surf and credit card alike) can hit up the event’s “infamous after-competition party� on Saturday night (Mar. 10) at Charley’s on the North Shore. ■keo@mauitime.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1538p

Remember “Where� You Are & Where You “Come� From David’s Only American Event in 2012! David Icke’s new 2012 book “Remember Who You Are� marks his 22nd year of revealing the truth behind world events at a special day long event. David has moved the global cutting edge in so many times since his incredible “awakening� in 1990 and in Hawaii he will do it again - and then some. s 7HAT IS 2EALITY (OW IS IT -ANIPULATED s 7HO !RE 7E s 4HE &UTURE /F -ONEY s 7HO 2EALLY #ONTROLS 7ORLD %VENTS s 0OLITICAL -ANIPULATION s 4HE 'LOBAL !WAKENING

3!452$!9 -!2#( s AM PM -!5) !243 #5,452!, #%.4%2 #!34,% 4(%!42%

Attendees will have a one hour Lunch and Dinner break. Food and Beverage available for Purchase

\ \ PLUS APPLICABLE FEES AT -!## "OX /FlCE WWW -AUI!RTS ORG OR 3(/7 FOR MORE INFORMATION GO TO: WWW.GLOBALMEDIAPRODUCTIONS.COM OR CALL 808-875-8820

MARCH 8, 2012

19

FILM

Silent House Of Cards Horror thriller falls apart under close inspection BY BARRY WURST II

Silent House ★★★★★ Rated R/88 Min.

M

any years ago, when I was a child sitting around a camp fire at Camp Maluhia, our camp councilor told us the tale of Guava Man, a short, child-munching monster that would eat kids who slept on the bottom bunk. With a sigh of relief, I realized I was sleeping on the top bunk in my cabin and completely safe, while my buddy on the bottom bunk was going to be a late night snack. But wait, said our camp councilor, there’s more! Turns out there’s another monster who lives in the camp, known as Mango Man, who is so tall, he only eats kids on the top bunk! Well, I was

20

MARCH 8, 2012

terrified and my buddies and I slept in shifts that night, keeping an eye out for two abnormally sized monsters named after delicious fruits. The next morning, we realized we’d been had by one of the most ridiculous camp fire ghost stories ever. I thought of this while driving home from Silent House, a ghost story that, the more you talk about it, falls completely apart. It stars Elizabeth Olsen, who gave an extraordinary debut performance last year in Martha Marcy May Marlene. Here she plays Sarah, a young woman assisting her father and uncle as they clean up her childhood home, which is up for sale. We don’t know all the details at first but notice that even though it’s daytime, it’s dark inside the large house since all the windows are covered up. Every door leading outside has a lock on it, as if the house were conspiring to keep visitors inside. Once Sarah loses sight of her father, deep into the darkness and feeling displaced, she starts to hear strange noises... The film is only 88 minutes and has supposedly been filmed in one continuous take, a single shot held for the entire film. I doubt the authenticity of that claim, as there are many moments that could have been spliced

Horror movie cars never run well. into other segments and digital effects can make any optical illusion possible. However, it certainly looks like it was filmed in one take and, for at least the first hour, works as a tense, claustrophobic, well staged exercise. Very little happens at first, just the building of anticipation and suspense as Sarah searches every dark room with a lantern. Yet, not only are we on the edge of our seats, ready for a big scare, but Olsen is so gorgeous that I never minded how the camera keeps her close and the focus of every scene. There’s no loud music to make us jump, but a quiet, brooding score that never manipulates, no on-camera violence and very little blood. A sequence with a flashing Polaroid is spooky and Olsen ably carries the film, acting scared to the point of near-hyperventilation almost the whole time. The problem is the ending–a big disappointment. Neither ambiguous nor worthy of

a good Shyamalan thriller (and there aren’t many of those), the solution to the puzzle is a disaster. It’s overly familiar, ugly instead of scary and undermines the entire movie. The more you think about it, the mystery holding the house just makes no sense. Like a joke with a hilarious set-up but a groaner of a punch line, you’ll walk away hating yourself for getting so worked up over such a meager payoff. The film’s poster says it was “Inspired By True Events.” But so was The Legend of Guava Man. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1538f

FILM

Showtimes FRONT STREET THEATER 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees) Act of Valor - R - THU (4:15), 7:05, 9:30. FRI (1:40, 4:15), 7:05, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:40), 4:15, 7:05, 9:30. MON-WED (4:15), 7:05, 9:30. The Artist - PG 13 - THU (4:15), 6:55, 9:20. FRI (1:45, 4:15), 6:55, 9:20. SAT-SUN (1:45), 4:15, 6:55, 9:20. MON-WED (4:15), 6:55, 9:20. John Carter (2D) - PG 13 - FRI (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 10:00. SAT-SUN (1:00), 4:00, 7:00, 10:00. MON-WED (4:00), 7:00, 10:00. This Means War - PG 13 - THU (4:20), 6:45, 9:15. Wanderlust - R - THU (4:00), 7:00, 9:30. FRI (1:30, 4:00), 7:00, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:00, 7:00, 9:30. MON-WED (4:00), 7:00, 9:30.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees) A Thousand Words - PG 13 - FRI (12:35, 2:45, 4:55), 7:05, 9:15. SAT-SUN (12:35, 2:45), 4:55, 7:05, 9:15. MON-WED (12:35, 2:45, 4:55), 7:05, 9:15. The Artist - PG 13 - THU (2:00, 4:15), 6:40, 9:00. FRI (11:50, 2:00, 4:15), 6:40, 9:00. SATSUN (11:50, 2:00), 4:15, 6:40, 9:00. MONWED (11:50, 2:00, 4:15), 6:40, 9:00. Big Miracle - PG - THU (1:55, 4:20), 6:50, 9:25. FRI (11:30, 1:50, 4:20), 6:50, 9:25. SAT-SUN (11:30, 1:50), 4:20, 6:50, 9:25. MON-WED (11:30, 1:50, 4:20), 6:50, 9:25. Chronicle - PG 13 - THU (2:50, 5:00), 7:20, 9:40. FRI (12:40, 2:50, 5:00), 7:20, 9:45. SATSUN (12:40, 2:50), 5:00, 7:20, 9:45. MONWED (12:40, 2:50, 5:00), 7:20, 9:45. The Descendants - R - THU (1:35, 4:30), 7:05, 9:50. Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax (2D) - PG - THU (1:55, 4:05), 6:15, 8:25. FRI (11:45, 1:55, 4:05), 6:15, 8:25. SAT-SUN (11:45, 1:55), 4:05, 6:15, 8:25. MON-WED (11:45, 1:55, 4:05), 6:15, 8:25. Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax (3D) - PG - THU (2:25, 4:35), 6:45, 8:55. FRI (12:15, 2:25, 4:35), 6:45,

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT BY ANU YAGI

8:55. SAT-SUN (12:15, 2:25), 4:35, 6:45, 8:55. MON-WED (12:15, 2:25, 4:35), 6:45, 8:55. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2D) - PG 13 - THU (4:55). FRI (4:50). SAT-SUN 4:50. MON-WED (4:50). Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (3D) - PG 13 - THU (2:35), 7:10, 9:35. FRI-WED (12:10, 2:35), 7:10, 9:35. Gone - PG 13 - THU (2:20, 4:40), 7:00, 9:20. FRI-WED (2:20), 7:00. Hugo (3D) - PG - THU (1:30, 4:10), 6:55. FRI (1:30, 4:10), 6:55, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:10, 6:55, 9:30. MON-WED (1:30, 4:10), 6:55, 9:30. Silent House - R - FRI (12:45, 2:55, 5:10), 7:25, 9:40. SAT-SUN (12:45, 2:55), 5:10, 7:25, 9:40. MON-WED (12:45, 2:55, 5:10), 7:25, 9:40. Star Wars: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace (3D) - PG - THU 9:30. Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds - PG 13 - THU (2:10, 4:45), 7:15, 9:55. FRI (11:40, 2:10, 4:45), 7:15, 9:55. SAT-SUN (11:40, 2:10), 4:45, 7:15, 9:55. MON-WED (11:40, 2:10, 4:45), 7:15, 9:55. Wanderlust - R - THU (2:40, 5:05), 7:30, 10:00. FRI (12:05, 2:40, 5:05), 7:30, 10:00. SAT-SUN (12:05, 2:40), 5:05, 7:30, 10:00. SAT-SUN (12:05, 2:40, 5:05), 7:30, 10:00. The Woman in Black - PG 13 - THU (2:45, 5:10), 7:25, 9:45. FRI (12:00, 4:40), 9:20. SAT-SUN (12:00), 4:40, 9:20. MON-WED (12:00, 4:40), 9:20.

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) John Carter (2D) - PG 13 - FRI-WED 11:30, 2:20, 5:10, 7:50, 10:40. John Carter (3D) - PG 13 - FRI-WED 10:30, 1:20, 4:10, 7:00, 9:50. Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (2D) - PG THU-WED 10:30, 5:15, 9:45. Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (3D) - PG THU-WED 12:45, 3:00, 7:30. Project X - R - THU-WED 11:00, 1:10, 3:20,

NEW THIS WEEK

is proof-positive that three egomaniacal high school boys (wait, is that redundant?) with telekinetic superpowers is the stuff of pure horror. 83 min.

A THOUSAND WORDS - PG 13 - Comedy - Think Liar Liar with a New Age twist. Starring Eddie Murphy. 91min.

DR. SUESS’ THE LORAX - R - Horror - Green washing goes to Hollywood with another bastardization of Seussian genius; of what’s meant for the unadulterated page. (PS: Remember, supporters of Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie must boycott The Lorax!) 94 min.

JOHN CARTER - PG 13 - Sci-Fi - Martian intrigue may not resonate with post-Viking Mission kiddies like it does for generations reared prior (notwithstanding Alfred Russel Wallace’s 1907 critique of Percival Lowell’s “Mars and Its Canals”). Nonetheless, keiki and kupuna alike are sure to be enthralled by John Carter, based on the pulp fantasy series by Edgar Rice Burroughs. For a century these stories have been read “with breathless fascination,” as the venerable Carl Sagan extolled (in his landmark doco series, Cosmos: A Personal Journey; episode five, “Blues for a Red Planet”), “arous[ing] generations of eight-year-olds, myself among them, to wonder whether we ourselves might one day venture to the distant planet Mars.” 132 min. SILENT HOUSE - R - Horror - See this week’s Film Critique. 86 min.

NOW SHOWING ACT OF VALOR - R - Action - A modern war film starring actors plus actual active duty US Navy SEALs and Special Warfare Combatant Crewmen. 101 min. THE ARTIST - PG 13 - Romance - A silent film star grapples with his waning fame as newfangled “talkies” become all the rage. 100 min.

GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE - PG 13 - Action/Fantasy - Excuse me, Mr. Cage? Um, your skull’s on fire... 98 min. GONE - PG 13 - Thriller - Does it matter what this movie’s actually about? No, not really. Face it: if you see this flick it’s only because you wanna oggle Amanda Seyfried. But hey, man–we don’t blame you. 94 min. HUGO - G - Family - Based on American author Brian Selznick’s gorgeous, Caldecott-winning book, The Invention of Hugo Cabret. Starring Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen and Jude Law. 127 min. JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND - PG Fantasy/Family - “This is a dopey adventure romp with truly terrible dialogue,” writes Barry Wurst II. Dwane “The Rock” Johnson, Josh Hutcherson, Vanessa Hudgens, Luis Guzman and Michael Caine star. 94 min. PROJECT X - R - Fantasy - This is The Blair Witch Project of pubescent delusion. Watch and wish and live vicariously, if you must. 88 min.

BIG MIRACLE - PG - Family - When whales are trapped in an Arctic Circle neighborhood, who you gonna call? Drew Barrymore! 107 min.

SAFE HOUSE - R - Action/Thriller - Ryan “Wrap” Reynolds stars as a CIA agent who must blitz his way across South Africa–with a fugitive (played by Denzel Washington) in his charge. 115 min.

CHRONICLE - PG 13 - Action/Horror - This movie

THE SECRET WORLD OF ARIETTY - G - Animat-

5:30, 7:35, 9:50. The Secret World of Arietty - G - THU 10:30, 12:40, 2:50, 5:00, 7:10, 9:25. FRI-WED 10:25, 12:35. This Means War - PG 13 - THU 10:45, 1:00, 3:15, 5:30, 7:45, 10:00.FRI-WED 2:45, 5:10, 7:30, 9:50. The Vow - PG 13 - THU 10:30, 12:50, 3:10, 5:30, 7:50, 10:10.

SEAN MICHAEL HOWER 808.250.1788 MAUIWEDDINGMEDIAS.COM

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) Act of Valor - R - THU 1:00, 3:40, 6:05, 8:35. FRI-WED 11:00, 1:30, 4:05, 7:45, 10:35. THUWED 11:00, 1:45, 4:20, 7:00, 9:30. The Artist - PG 13 - THU 1:25, 3:45, 6:10, 8:20. FRI-WED 11:00, 1:15, 3:30, 5:45. Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax (2D) - PG - THU 1:30, 3:50, 6:00, 8:05. FRI-WED 11:15, 1:30, 3:50, 6:00, 8:05, 10:20. John Carter (2D) - PG 13 - FRI-MON 11:10, 1:55, 4:50, 7:45, 10:30. TUE 1:00, 4:50, 7:45, 10:30. WED 11:10, 1:55, 4:50, 7:45, 10:30. Safe House - R - THU 1:00, 3:30, 6:00, 8:30. FRI-WED 8:00, 10:30.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees) Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax (2D) - PG - THU (1:00, 3:45), 6:45, 9:15. FRI (1:00, 3:45), 6:45, 9:15. SAT-SUN (1:00), 3:45, 6:45, 9:15. MON-WED (1:00, 3:45), 6:45, 9:15. Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (2D) - PG THU (1:15, 4:00), 7:00, 9:30. Project X - R - THU (1:30, 4:15), 7:15, 9:35. FRI (1:30, 4:15), 7:15, 9:35. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:15, 7:15, 9:35. MON-WED (1:30, 4:15), 7:15, 9:35. Silent House - R - FRI (1:15, 4:00), 7:00, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:15), 4:00, 7:00, 9:30. MON-WED (1:15, 4:00), 7:00, 9:30.

ed - Barry Wurst II writes, “Arrietty Clock and her father, Pod, are quietly creeping into a home that isn’t theirs, on a mission to steal a block of sugar and tissue paper. It sounds easy and peculiar enough, with the exception of a key detail: the Clocks are no taller than your index finger...” 94 min. THIS MEANS WAR - PG 13 - Action/Romantic Comedy - A tale of two best buddies (Chris Pine and Tom Hardy) who are both CIA agents–and both dating the same conniving blond (Reese Witherspoon). 98 min. TYLER PERRY’S GOOD DEEDS - PG 13 - Romance/Drama - If Tyler Perry really wanted to do a good deed, he’d stop torturing us with his movies. 111 min. WANDERLUST - R - Romantic Comedy - Paul Rudd (a noted Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie supporter) and Jennifer Aniston star as a Manhattan couple who suddenly find themselves unemployed and living in a rurual, free-love commune. Hilarity presumably ensues. 98 min. THE WOMAN IN BLACK - PG 13 - Horror - A scary, scorned ghost lady haunts a house and blah blah blah... Look, all I care about is that this is Daniel Radcliffe’s first big film since you-know-what–which means I’m finally a small step away from being a paedophilic creep for thinking Harry Potter’s hot. 95 min.

LAST CHANCE THE DESCENDANTS - R - Drama/Comedy - 115 min. STAR WARS: EPISODE 1 - THE PHANTOM MENACE - PG - Space Opera - 136 min. THE VOW - PG 13 - Romance - 104 min. ■

VOTED BEST

TATTOO SHOP BY M AU I LO C A L S !

579.8515

The Best Of Maui

120 HANA HWY s UPSTAIRS PAIATATOOPARLOR.COM MARCH 8, 2012

21

CALENDAR

Da Kine Calendar BY ANU YAGI

Friday

3/9

BIG SHOWS STARRY NIGHT CINEMA SCREENS “CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND� (1977) – Fri., Mar. 9. Join hundreds of fellow family-friendly movie buffs at this month’s Starry Night Cinema event, where the MACC and Maui Film Festival screen Steven Spielberg’s epic science fiction adventure, “Close Encounters of the Third Kind.� Bring a blanket or beach chair to relax on the A&B Amphitheater lawn and enjoy the film projected on a giant screen, casual dining, drink specials and live music. Sponsored by County of Maui with support from H. Hawai’i Media. Free. 5:30pm gates / 7pm show. A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242 SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org / mauifilmfestival.com

Saturday

3/10

OVERTONE IN CONCERT– Fri., Mar. 9. See This Week’s Picks for more. $25 / $45 VIP (includes meet-and-greet with artists after the show). 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242 SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org RITUAL MAUI: MARQUES WYATT FEATURING AMARA PAGANO – Sat., Mar. 10. See This Week’s Picks for more. $15 advance / $20 door. 7:30-9:30pm. Studio Maui (Haiku Marketplace, 810 Haiku Rd.); 575-9390; thestudiomaui.com / deep-la.com/marques.php

MAUI GETS DEEP WITH LA’S MARQUES WYATT AND MAUI’S OWN MARASCO – Sat., Mar. 10. See This Week’s Picks for more. $20. 9:30pm-1:30am. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 572-0220; casanovamaui.com / deep-la.com/ marques.php

VOTED BEST HAPPY HOUR ON MAUI! 3 +)(%) 2$ s !- !- $!),9 s $)..%2 @4), 0-

F R ID AY

MARCH 9

NEW ORLEANS SEAFOOD NIGHT 4-10PM S BOTTOMS UP FRIDAYT W/ NE XT LEV EL EN TER TAI NM EN 1. r $0 7& 3

S AT

MARCH 10

NEW ORLEANS SEAFOOD NIGHT 4-10PM

MARCH 13 TUE TACO TUESDAY 4-10PM $

$

2.50 TACOS

2.50 CORONAS, DOS XX $

22

& PACIFICOS 4 MARGARITAS MARCH 8, 2012

ROTARY CLUB OF WAILUKU’S LOBSTERFEST 2012 WITH PHILLIP SMITH AND THE GENTLEMEN OF JAZZ – Sun., Mar. 11. Support the Rotary Club of Wailuku’s community initiatives at their LobsterFest 2012, a casual, New Orleans-style event, headlined by the Dixieland band Phillip Smith & The Gentlemen of Jazz, featuring the vocals of Ellen Belarose. Plus, enjoy spiced lobsters, dirty rice, New Orleans etouffee, buttered corn and more. Beverages available for purchase (including French Quarter hurricane cocktails). $100. 12:30pm gates / 1pm event. A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242 SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

STAGE MAUI ONSTAGE PRESENTS “GREASE� – Last chance! Fri., Sat., & Sun., Feb. 24-26, Mar. 3-4 and Mar. 9-11. Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey–don’t miss Maui OnStage’s production of Grease (by Warren Casey and Jim Jacobs), directed by New York guest director/choreographer, Brian Swasey. Tickets available through the Maui OnStage box office, at If the Shoe Fits (Wailuku) or Lava Java (Kihei). Dinner packages available through Cafe O’Lei and Bistro Casanova. $15 / $22 / $40. 7:30pm Fridays and Saturdays. 3pm Sundays. Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 242-6969; mauionstage.com

‘ULALENA – Mon-Fri. A nonpareil portal to Hawaiian history and kanaka maoli lore; what ‘Ulalena accomplishes–five nights a weeks for 12 years strong–is without a doubt the most powerful cultural education available for our visitors (and ourselves). Rich with tradition while sublimely contemporary, it’s

a clean, consistent and critical contribution by Hawaii about Hawaii, for the world. Mahalo ke akua!. Starting at $24.50 keiki / $59.50 adults. Dinner and VIP packags available. 6:30pm. Maui Theatre, fka Maui Myth & Magic Theatre, built specifically for ‘Ulalena (Old Lahaina Center, 878 Front St., Lahaina); 1-877688-4800; mauitheatre.com

TICKETS ON SALE JIMMY BUFFETT & THE CORAL REEFER BAND – Fri., Mar. 16. Attention Parrotheads: You already know all about Jimmy Buffet and The Coral Reefer Band and how they’re coming to Maui for one night only, part of Buffet’s Welcome to Fin Land Tour 2012. So, here’s the nitty gritty about parking: Prepurchase a parking stall at the MACC for just $25 or $10 for a stall at the University of Hawaii Maui College parking lot (across the street). $59 general / $89, $139 reserved seating. 4pm doors / 7pm show. A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242 SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

MAUI POPS ORCHESTRA’S ANNUAL SPRING CONCERT – Sun., Mar. 18. Swing into Spring with the Maui Pops Orchestra, joined by special guests from the Moonglow All-Star Swing Band. Plus, this show features a special dance floor for folks who are moved by the orchestra’s exultant Big Band tunes. $10 / $25 / $35 / $45. Half-price for keiki 12-years-old and younger. 3:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242 SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

SWITCHFOOT IN CONCERT – Thu., Mar. 22. These Christian rockers went mainstream after four of their songs were featured in the flick “A Walk to Remember� (2002). They are the recipients of nine GMA Dove Awards, and their major label debut, “The Beautiful Letdown,� has sold 2.6 million copies. $24.50 / $20.50 / $56.50. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242 SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

SOLO SESSIONS WITH JERRY SANTOS – Fri., Mar. 23. Best known for his work in the group Olomana (teaming with Robert Beaumont in 1974), singer/songwriter Jerry Santos has been a familiar presence in Hawaii’s music scene for almost four decades. The Solo Sessions series is the perfect opportunity to hear Santos’s work in an intimate concert venue while learning the stories behind his music. $25 / $45 VIP (includes meet-and-greet with Santos after the show). 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-7469 (SHOW); mauiarts.org

ZIGGY MARLEY: WILD & FREE TOUR – Sun., Mar. 25. Reggae royalty returns to Maui as fivetime Grammy winner Ziggy Marley tours his fourth solo album, “Wild and Free.� Inner Circle and Maui’s own Marty Dread open. $35 advance / $40 day-of. 4pm gates / 5pm show. A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

MOONLIGHT SERIES FEATURING RAUL MIDON – Thu., Mar. 29. Blind since infancy, American singer-songwriter and guitarist, Raul Midon straddles the genres of Latin, folk-pop and jazz with show-stopping vocals and dazzling instrumental technique. Combining his soulful tenor and syncopated, percussive guitar with improvisational mouth trumpet sounds, Midon is an exciting one-man show.

$28/$33. 7:30pm. A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

DAVID BROMBERG TRIO – Fri., Mar. 30. David Bromberg is a master practitioner of folk, blues and bluegrass, and his trio features Mark Cosgroe (guitar/mandolin/vocals) and Nate Grower (fiddle/ mandolin/vocals). Known as a “hired gun� for recording artists, Rolling Stone raves “Bromberg... makes every track shine, like the A-list session man he’s always been�; meanwhile Jerry Jeff Walker says, “[Bromberg’s] the reason man created stringed instruments. David touched them with a lover’s fingers and they moaned that true love right back at him. Wood and wire and flesh spoke.� $28 / $35 / $45 Golden Circle. 7pm doors / 7:30pm show. Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); lazarbear.com NA ALI’I OF COMEDY – Fri., Mar. 30. For the very first time, five of Hawaii’s comedy legends–Frank De Lima, Ed Kaahea, Mel Cabang, Andy Bumatai and Augie T– unite onstage for what’s sure to be the biggest local comedy show of 2012. De Lima’s a 14time Na Hoku Hanohano award winner whose family friendly humor has been entertaining the islands (especially school children; as all my local peeps can assuredly recall “Going on a Buta Hunt� and “Peanut Butter and Jelly�) for almost four decades. Kaahea is the last surviving member of the iconic trio Booga Booga, meanwhile the big names of Cabang and Bumatai have been synonymous with Hawaiian comedy for more than 30 years, each appearing on numerous TV commercials and local programs. Augie T.’s an inescapably popular contemporary comedian–his voice and visage all over radio and local TV–and is at the heart of the revival of Hawaii’s comedy scene. $22.50 / $35 VIP (includes meet-and-greet with the artists after the show). 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242 SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

ICKE, ICKE BABY... STOP, COLLABORATE AND LIZARD: A DAY WITH DAVID ICKE – Sat., Mar. 31. David Icke’s a former “professional soccer player, journalist [and] network anchorman with the BBC� turned “full time investigator into who and what is really controlling the world� (davidickebooks.co.uk). Icke’s authored sixteen books including “The Biggest Secret,� which Richard Kahn calls the “Rosetta stone for conspiracy junkies.� At this day-long lecture event, Icke will discuss myriad topics including “The Moon Matrix,� his “most staggering revelation� of all, in which he says that the moon is a huge “spacecraft... home to the extraterrestrial group that has been manipulating humanity for aeons.� Presented by Global Media Productions. There will be three meal breaks during the event with pre-sold lunch ($10) and dinner ($15) options made available by Vasi’s Gourmet Catering. (Note: There’s no guarantee that food will be available if not pre-purchased. Visit mauiarts.org to view menu and order.) $39 / $69 / $99. 9am registration / 10am-10pm program. Castle Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

SAVE THE DATE: AN EVENING WITH W.S. MERWIN – Sat., Mar. 31. W.S. Merwin has been a force in American poetry for 60 years, beginning when W.H. Auden selected his first collection, A Mask for Janus (1952) for the Yale Series of Younger Poets. Though his style has evolved much over his long career, he has remained influential, receiving nearly every major award for poetry, including two Pulitzer prizes: in 1971 for The Carrier of Ladders, and in 2009 for The Shadow of Sirius. In 2010, W.S. Merwin was appointed the Library of Congress’ 17th Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry. This event is co-

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

3/8

3/9

3/10

3/11

3/12-3/14

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Pi’ilani Arias, 5-8pm / Kimie & Irie Love, 9pm (all sets no cover)

Braddah Francis, 4-8pm / Soul Congress w/ Clay Mortensen, 10pm (all sets no cover)

Flashback Saturdays Dance Party w/ DJ Z 9:30pm; no cover

Sunday Skool Nightclub w/ DJ JamnJ, DJ Blinky and MC Bishop 10pm; no cover

MON - Clay Mortensen, 4-7pm; Teri Garrison, 8pm / TUE - Pi’ilani Arias, 7-10pm / WED - Teri Garrison, 5-8pm; Free Karaoke Night w/ Braddah Francis, 8pm (all sets no cover)

AMBROSIA

Jamie Gallo, 7pm; no cover / DJ Kurt (Ambrosia’s Next Top DJ winner 10pm; no cover

Whatever You Want w/ DJ AstroRaph 10pm; no cover

Surise Saturdaze w/ DJ Decka 10pm; no cover

Ultra w/ DJ CIA 10pm; no cover

MON - Ladies’ & ‘80s Night w/ DJ Skinny Guy, 10pm / TUE - Dirty House Tuesdays w/ DJ La Rage / WED - Red Carpet Movie Night, 7:30pm; Maui’s HI-5 Night (S.I.N.) w/ DJs Del Sol & CIA, 10pm

Bingo Pajama 7-9:30pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7-9:30pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo 7-9:30pm; no cover

Peter deAquino 7-9:30pm; no cover

MON - Jazz / TUE - Jordan Cuddy / WED Barefoot Minded (all sets 7-9:30pm; no cover)

Tasty Pie Productions presents DJ Little John, DJ Sweet Beats & DJ Nanda 10pm; $10

Island Soul IV w/ Omar & The Soultones 10pm; $10

Maui Gets Deep w/ DJ Marques Wyatt & DJ Marasco 10pm; $15

X-Klusive Sounds Productions presents Green Break w/ DJ Kamikaze & DJ Kollision, 9:30pm; $10

Ian Walsh’s Menehune Mayhem After Party w/ The Nocturnal Sound Krew 9:30pm; $10

Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Caroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30-10pm / TUE - Live Jazz, 7-10pm / WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm

Chad Kaya & Ryan Rego, 8pm; no cover

Rampage 10pm; no cover

Shaggy’s Birthday Party w/ Rootz ‘N Creation feat. Teomon, 10pm

Sunday Funday 10pm; no cover

MON - Gomega / TUE - Rampage / WED - Spring Break Bash (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Quiz Night 8pm; no cover

Jacob & Junior 10pm; no cover

Dance Party 10pm; no cover

Sebrina Barron 6pm; no cover

MON – Glen Awong of Maoli / TUE - Johnny Ringo (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Karaoke

Karoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED - Karaoke

Rampage 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

The Satterday Saints 9pm-close; no cover

Karaoke Industry Night 8pm-close; no cover

MON - Karaoke, 8pm-close / TUE - Music videos w/ DJ H, 9pm-close / WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm-close (all sets no cover)

Indio & Avi 8-11pm; no cover

Hard Rock Rising Battle of the Bands

The House Shakers 8-11pm; no cover

MON - The Blues Spirit of Maui / TUE - Kenny Roberts / WED - Evan Schulman (all sets 8-11pm; no cover)

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

WED - Karaoke

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0988

CASANOVA

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA

515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

presented with University of Hawai‘i Foundation. Free (however, the event is ticketed as limited seating is available). 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org

EVENTS

THURSDAY, MARCH 8 TEA PARTY TIME – Every second Thu. See This Week’s Picks for more. Free. 6-7:30pm. Corner of Alamaha St. and Papa Pl., Kahului (look for the American flag); teapartymaui.com

THE SPRING WIND QUINTET – See This Week’s Picks for more. Free. 6:30pm. Wailuku Public Library (251 High St.); 243-5766; librarieshawaii.org

FRIDAY, MARCH 9 JENNIFER OWEN’S RETROSPECTIVE EXHIBITION – Celebrate the opening of Jennifer Owen’s retrospective exhibition which features exceptional ceramic artworks made from 1973 through present. Plus, save the date to meet the artist at her free lecture on Mon., Mar. 26 (6pm) in the Hui Solarium and and for a walk-through of the exhibition on Sat., Apr. 21. Free. 5pm. Hui No’eau Visual Arts Center (2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 572-6560; huinoeau.com

LAHAINA SECOND FRIDAY: THE SOUNDS OF LAHAINA – “Music has always been part of the thread that makes Lahaina a special place in a melodic land of many faces and changes,” say Lahaina Second Friday coordinators. So, March’s events showcase “The Sounds of Lahaina,” through-

out Front St. and its surrounding areas. Here’s the party details:

>>> At the sea wall outside the Hard Rock Cafe, a traditional blessing of the event will be conducted by members of the talented ‘Ulalena cast (i.e. prepare fo’ chicken skin li’ dat). >>> At Campbell Park, Wilmont Kahaiali’i performs from 5-6pm, followed by Al Nip from 6-7pm and Eddie Tanaka from 7-8pm. Even more music ensues all around town. Hard Rock Cafe hosts their Hard Rock Rising battle of the bands finals, beginning at 8pm. Plus, live music on the patio from 5-8pm. At Pioneer Inn, Wilmont Kahaiali’i performs from 6-9pm. Both Blue Lagoon and Kimo’s hosts live sets from 8-10pm. Moose McGillycuddy’s got the boys of Visibly Shaken from 8-10pm. Also, Longhi’s Lahaina sees their Fri. mainstays, the Maui Jazz All-Stars, from 7-10pm. >>> KPOA celebrates their roots at The Wharf, where their local radio history began! Their event kicks off with a hula performance by Keala Kahinano O Puna at 5:45pm, followed by a karaoke contest by Auntie Toddy Lilikoi. Be sure to spin their prize wheel for a chance to win movie tickets, cool schwag and gift certificates, plus enter their big contest to win tickets to da Mainland. Fo’ realz. >>> Local Lahaina non-profit organizations’ fundraising efforts are supported through food and product sales. Groups include Waiola Church, Girl Scouts

WED - Casanova’s Famous Ladies’ Night: “Back to the Future: w/ DJ Blast & Chilltown Productions, 10pm; $10

of Lahaina, Lahaina Canoe Club Keiki Program, Maui Soroptomists, and Boys & Girls Club Lahaina. >>> Lahaina restaurants offer gobs of good deals like a 10 percent kama’aina discount at Ono Gelato, a 15 percent kama’aina discount at Blue Lagoon, and 20 percent kama’aina discounts at Kobe Japanese Steakhouse, Captain Jack’s Island Grill and Cool Cate Cafe. Amigo’s offers $2 tacos; Pioneer Inn boasts a $5 pupu menu, and Kimo’s gives out free hula pies (if you pick up a coupon at the Lahaina Visitor Center, located at the Old Courthouse). And don’t forget to spin the wheel at Atlantis Submarines for a chance to win a free underwater ride. >>> Lahaina’s oft affectionately called the Art Capital of the Pacific, and local galleries aim to prove it to you. Peter Lik Gallery’s got a drawing to win a signed “Big Book” by Peter Lik, has DJ Scotty D spinnin’ and dolin’ freebies, plus serves wine and light pupus. Meanwhile, Maui Hands features artist in residence, Mort Luby. Images Fine Art has an open house with live music, wine and the chance to meet featured artists Julie Houck, Matt Smith and Taryn Alessandro. Gallery 505 showcases live painting by pop artist Davo. Village Gallery features Macario Pascual and serves wine and pupus. Martin Lawrence Gallery showcases their collection of Andy Warhol and Pablo Picasso pieces, as well as serves wine and pupus. Lahaina Galleries hosts a guest artist while serving wine, as will the Thomas Barbey Art Gallery and Lahaina

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING? CALENDAR LISTINGS

ON MAUITIME.COM

Print Sellers. Point is: you can gallery hop, get drunk, and wake up with a fine new piece on your mantel. >>> History’s the thing around Lahaina, and the Lahaina Restoration Foundation’s Ha’ina Hou! (Let the Story Be Told!) series is pure delight for history buffs. Events take place at the Baldwin Home Museum as well as at the Wo Hing Temple Museum, from 6:308pm. At the former museum, Riley Moffat gives a Mapping of Lahaina lecture (see This Week’s Picks for more). And at the latter museum, Sekiguchi Sensei, the 21st Grand Master of Musu Jikiden Eishin Ryu Iajiutsu, visiting from Tokyo, and (my comrades!) Komei Juku Maui will display their hard-earned samurai swordsmanship skills.

GREEN BREAK – X-Klusive Sounds Productions presents “Green Break,” feautring DJ Kamikze and DJ Kollision mixing the hottest electro, dubstep and reggae. Plus, they’ll be doling out loads of giveaways– and a chance to win tickets to see Ziggy Marley at the MACC. $10. 10pm-close. Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 579-8085

SATURDAY, MARCH 10 VOLUNTEER IN HALEAKALA CRATER – Sat. through Mon., Mar. 10-12. Join Friends of Haleakala National Park’s efforts to care for the crater’s native vegetation and stay two nights for free in Kapalaoa Cabin. Since all work and no play makes for a dull adventure, the group provides plenty of free time to enjoy hiking and wilderness relaxation. To register or for more information, visit fhnp.org or call 2644757. FOURTH ANNUAL WOMEN HELPING WOMEN FUN RUN - Runners, joggers, walkers and “strollers” of all ages and abilities are invited to

MARCH 8, 2012

23

'SJEBZ .BSDI t *BP 5IFBUSF 8BJMVLV t /PSUI .BSLFU 4U 8BJMVLV t %PPS QN 4IPX QN

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

CASANOVA’S FAMOUS LADIES NIGHT BACK TO THE FUTURE W/ DJ BLAST & CHILLTOWN MUSIC STARTS @ 10PM + $10 COVER

THURSDAY MARCH 8TH

TASTY PIE PRODUCTIONS PRESENT

DJ LITTLE JOHN

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA’S THE AWARDS

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI”

SHOW STARTS AT 10PM $10 COVER (RAINDANCE, SANTA CRUZ)

DJ SWEET BEATS (MAUI) DJ NANDA (MAUI)

LIVE SCREEN PRINTING BY TREY CALLENDER + VISUALS BY MR.ZOM

FRIDAY MARCH 9TH

SHOW STARTS AT 10PM $10 COVER

ISLAND SOUL IV OMAR AND THE SOULTONES R&B + FUNK

SATURDAY MARCH 10TH MAUI GETS DEEP

SHOW STARTS AT 10PM $15 COVER

MARQUES WYATTDEEP LA + OM RECORDS

MARASCO ORION MUZIK + SURFACE RECORDS + CITYDEEP SF MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING + DINE & DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS CALL 808.572.0220 LOG ON AT WWW.CASANOVAMAUI.COM

24

MARCH 8, 2012

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

3/8

3/9

3/10

3/11

3/12-3/14

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

JAVA JAZZ

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

Rick Glencross & Melanie Reid 7pm - close; no cover

Jamie Gallo 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross & Melanie Reid 7pm - close; no cover

Open Mic Night w/ Johnny Ringo 9pm-1:30am; no cover

Salsa Night w/ DJ Royes Dynasty 9pm-2am; no coverin

Bad Kitty, 7pm

Kenny Roberts, 7pm

1810 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

JAY’S PLACE

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 661-6699

KAHALE’S

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

LAHAINA CAFE

843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

LILIKOI RESTAURANT & WINE BAR 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku - 575-2629

Live Entertainment 7-9pm; no cover

LULU’S LAHAINA

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

Eight Track Players, 7pm

The Kihei Cowboys, 7pm

MON - Kawika / TUE - Da Hawaiians / WED - Gina Martinelli (all sets 7pm)

Live Music 9-11pm

1810 8-10pm; no cover

Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa 8-10pm; no cover

MON - Glenn Kakagawa, 6-8pm / TUE-WED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm (all sets no cover)

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover

Karaoke & Dancing w/ Auntie Toddy Lilikoi 9:30-close; no cover MON - Trivia Night w/ John, 7-9pm / TUE - Open Mic w/ Kenny, 10pm-12am / WED Megatouch Game Day w/ Katie, 7-9pm

Pool Tournament 7-9pm Elaine Ryan 7-11pm; no cover

Live Entertainment 5-8pm; no cover

Fulton Tashombe & The Maui Jazz All-Stars, 7-10pm

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

MON - Guest Performer / TUE - Guest Performer / WED - Renee Alonzo (all sets 7pm-close; no cover)

Free Karaoke w/ Danny DJ 10pm-12am; no cover

LONGHI’S LAHAINA LULU’S KIHEI

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

Salsa Night w/ Neto & Barbara Peraza, 8-11pm / DJ Nexus 11pm-close

Requesola w/ Rob & Ron = R2, 6:30-9:30pm / DJ Nexus 10pm-close

Camp Savage 7:30-9:30pm / DJ AstroRaph, 10pm-close

Howard Ahia 6-8pm; no cover / Pool Tournament 7-10:30pm

Marvin Tevaga 6-9pm; no cover / Latin Night w/ DJ Danny 10pm-2am; $10

STATUS w/ DJs Big Mike & Money Mike 9:30pm-2am

Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30pm / DJ Kamikaze, 10pm-close

TUE - Country Music & Dancing w/ Rick Scanlan, 7-11m / WED - Sebrina Barron 7-9pm; Ladies’ Night w/ DJ La Rage, 10pm-close MON - All Access DJs, 10pm / TUE - “Lahaina Idol” Karaoke w/ Troy, 9pm12am / WED - Pa’a Mana 9:30-11pm

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

Phil & Angie Benoit 6:30-8:30pm

MERRIMAN’S

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

MON - The Benoits / TUE - David Choy / WED - Ranga Pae (all sets 6-9pm)

Murray Thorne, 6:30-8:30pm / Pub Quiz Superfreakout w/ Trish “The Dish” Smith, 9:30pm-12am; no cover

Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

The Sirens 6:30-9pm; no cover

The Celtic Tigers 6:30-9:30pm

MON - Joyce & Gord, 6-8:30pm / TUE Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks, 7-8pm / WED - Joel Katz, 7-9pm

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

Next Level Entertainment presents Bottoms Up Fridays, 10pm; $10

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414

take a stand against domestic violence at the fourth annual Women Helping Women 2, 5 and 10K Fun Run/Walk/Stroll (8am). The early morning event will feature music, refreshments, prize drawings and— most importantly—an opportunity to support a good cause. This year’s fun run will start and end at the Women Helping Women ReVive Resale Boutique (at the Old Kahului Shopping Center), looping through Kanaha Beach Park (behind the airport). At the finish line, awards will be presented to the top three male and top three female finishers (no age divisions). Awards will also be given to the top three pledge raisers. All participants who finish the race will be eligible for several prize drawings during an awards ceremony held outside of Revive Boutique. All participants must register on or before Wed., Feb. 29, and race packets will be distributed beginning at 6am on the day of the event at the ReVive Resale Boutique. For more information, to download a registration form or view entry fees and a map of the Fun Run route, visit the Women Helping Women website at whwmaui.net.

LAHAINA WHALE AND OCEAN ARTS FESTIVAL – Sat. & Sun., Mar. 10-11. See This Week’s Picks for more. Free. 9am-5pm. Banyan Tree Park (Front St., Lahaina); visitlahaina.com

BLESSING & GRAND OPENING: ANGEL BABY CONSIGNMENT BOUTIQUE – Enjoy champagne, cupcakes, giveaways and and a blessing by Wilmont Kahaiali’i Jr., at this grand opening. Angel Baby Consignment Boutique offers new and nearly-new clothes, shoes, toys and furniture, plus maternity wear, handmade gifts, furniture rentals and more. Free. 12pm. Angel Baby Consignment Boutique (1087 Limahana Pl., Suite #5B, Lahaina); 667ANGL (2645); angelbabymaui@gmail.com

TUE - Open Mic Night 6:30pm-close

MAPPING OF LAHAINA EXHIBIT + THE STORY OF HAWAII – Fri. & Sat., Mar. 9-10. See This Week’s Picks for more. Free. 3-6:30pm. The Story of Hawaii (Ma’alaea Harbor Shops, 192 Ma’alaea Rd.); 283-3576; mappingofhawaii.com

ing Center, HIHWNMS (726 S. Kihei Rd.); 879-2818 ext. 21; hawaiihumpbackwhale.noaa.gov / flowergarden.noaa.gov

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14 LIQUOR COMMISSION MEETING – Read

GRAND OPENING: THEDEATHSTORE – Dying can be a drag for bereaved left behind–if nothing else, because funeral expenses are, well, expensive. Find economical–and ecological–options at TheDeathStore, which celebrates its opening today. Free. 10am4pm. TheDeathStore (Pauwela Cannery, 375 W. Kuiaha Rd., #5, Haiku)

SUNDAY, MARCH 11

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING? CALENDAR LISTINGS

ON MAUITIME.COM

LAHAINA WHALE AND OCEAN ARTS FESTIVAL – Sat. & Sun., Mar. 10-11. See This Week’s Picks for more. Free. 9am-5pm. Banyan Tree Park (Front St., Lahaina); visitlahaina.com

all about the latest hubub in this week’s cover story (as if you already hadn’t). 9am. Maui County Building (250 S. High St., Wailuku); co.maui.hi.us/

HOUSE DANCING WORKSHOP WITH HONOLULU’S LYANNE BROOKS – See This Week’s Picks for more. $15 class-only / $30 class + meal. 6-9pm. Vineyard Food Company (1951 E. Vineyard St., Wailuku); soulgasmhawaii@gmail.com

GRAMMY WINNER NADIRAH SHAKOOR WITH DJS CIA AND DEL SOL – See This Week’s Picks for more. No cover. 10pm-2am. Ambrosia Martini Lounge (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); cnbscene. com

See This Week’s Picks for more. Free. 7-9pm. Learn-

Awai., 3-5pm / Garret & Peter, 6-8:30pm. Every Fri., Garrett, 3-5pm / Kulewa, 6-8:30pm / Hula performance, 6:30pm. Every Sat., Tim, 3-5pm / Kulewa, 6-8:30pm / Hula performance, 6:30pm. Every Sun., Fausto, 3-5pm / Damon & Tim, 6-8:30pm. Every Mon., Brian, 3-5pm / Eddie & Alika, 6-8:30pm. Every Tue., Bob Deleon, 3-5pm / Eddie & Alika 6-8:30pm. Every Wed., Brian, 3-5pm / Kahala & Daniel, 6-8:30pm. (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina; 662-2900)

HULA GRILL – Every Thu., Ernest Pua’a, 11am1pm / Alika Nako’oka, 1:30-3:30pm / Kaniala Masoe, 4-6pm / Kulewa 6:30-9pm. Every Fri., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am-1pm / Kaniala Masoe, 1:30-3:30pm / 1810, 4-6pm / Kawika, Roy and Albert, 6:30-9pm. Every Sat., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am-1pm / Ron, Ikaika & DaMon., 1:30-3:30pm / 1810 4-6pm / Ben & Glenn, 6-9:30pm. Every Sun., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am1pm / Glenn, 1:30-3:30pm / 1810, 4-6pm / Derick Sebastian Trio, 6:30-9pm. Every Mon., Ernest Pua’a, 11am-1pm / Kawika Lum Ho, 1:30-3:30pm / Armadillo, 4-6pm / Derick Sebastian Trio & Josh Kahula, 6:30-9pm. Every Tue., Kawika Lum Ho, 11am-1pm / Jarrett Roback & Junior Lacuesta, 1:30-3:30pm / Damon Parillo & Danyel Alana, 5-6pm / Ernest Pua’a & Friends, 6:30-9pm. Every Wed., Ernest Pua’a, 11am1pm / Kaniala Masoe, 1:30-3:30pm / Peter DeAquino, 4-6pm / Ernest Pua’a & Friends, 6:30-9pm. (Whalers Village, Ka’anapali; 667-6636)

DINNER MUSIC

LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH – Every Thu., Jarret & Wilson. Every Fri., JD & Friends. Every Sat., JD & Harry. Every Sun., Merv Oana. All sets 3-5pm. (Whaler’s Village, Ka’anapali; 661-4495)

WEST MAUI

LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL –

TUESDAY, MARCH 13 FREE LECTURE: “A JEWEL IN THE GULF OF MEXICO” BY EMMA HICKERSON –

DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE – Every Thu., Damien

MARCH 8, 2012

25

TAX SEASON IS ALMOST HERE! tax $ 99 rn retuile wh tch!*

you

wa

INCLUDES: Direct Deposit, INTRODUCING Tax return by email, FREE E-file. INCOME TAX SERVICES WHAT YOU’LL NEED: Valid drivers license, W2 + other tax documents, bank account #, blank check, email address.

%: OR %QUIVALENT s /THERS STARTING AT

77 Ho’okele St. Ste. 302, Kahului 270-1077

MAUI ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT WITH MAUITIME FLAVOR

.com

26

MARCH 8, 2012

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

3/8

3/9

3/10

3/11

3/12-3/14

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

SANSEI - KAPALUA

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SANSEI - KIHEI

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

DJ Slackin 10pm-close; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm; no cover

DJ LX 10pm-close; no cover

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR

Dan & Anne 7-10pm; no cover

Jacob Abeytia 7-10pm

Kenny Roberts 9am-12pm; no cover

MON - Still Pono Band, 7-10pm; no cover WED - Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm; no cover

Ladies’ Night 7pm-close; no cover

Da Booze Braddahs 8pm; no cover

Free Pool Day

MON - Mahalo Monday Industry Night

Ah-Tim 4-6pm

Ahumanu 4-6pm

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

Ono Grimes Band 9pm-1am; $4

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 874-6115

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIMBA

505 Front St, Ste. 212, Lahaina - 661-9873

WATERCRESS

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351

WED - The House Shakers 7:30pm; no cover

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

House of Reggae 9:45pm-2am; $10

We Love Timba Fridays 9:45pm-2am; $10

Spun Out w/ DJ Calcul8 9:45pm-2am; $10

closed

MON through WED - closed

Next Level Entertainment 10pm

Live Music 10pm

Karaoke

Karaoke

TUE - Thirsty Tuesdays / WED - Free Karaoke

AMBROSIA – Every Thu., Jamie Gallo, 7pm. Every Tue., “Glee” on the big screen, 7pm. Every Wed., Red Carpet Movie Night, 7:30pm [March is “March Madness” month. This week: “Van Wilder” (2002).] (1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 891-1011) BEACH BUMS – Every Tue., Randall Rospond, 5-8pm. (Ma’alaea Harbor Shops; 243-2286)

BUZZ’S WHARF – Thu., Marvin 3-6:30pm. (Ma’alaea Harbor; 244-5426)

Tevaga,

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH – Every Thu., Junior

Sun., Live Jazz. (4465 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Lahaina; 669-8889)

SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT – Every Tue. & Fri., Kincaid Kupahu, 7-9pm. Every Sun. & Thu., Andrew

Honeys, 5:30-8:30pm. (760 S. Kihei Rd.; 875-6666)

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE – Thu., Murray Thorne, 7-9pm., Fri., Sebrina Barron, 6:30-8:30pm. Sat., The Sirens, 6:30-9pm. Sun., The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley, 6:30-9:30pm. Mon., Joyce & Gord w/ Jimmy C, 6-8:30pm. Tue., Brenton Keith & His Bag O’Tricks, 7-8pm. Wed., Joel Katz, 7-9pm. (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea; 874-1131)

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE – Every Thu., Erin Smith, 4-6pm. Every Fri., Randall Rospond, 4-6pm. Every Sat., Tom Conway, 4-6pm. Every Sun., Viva La Rumba, 4-6pm. Every Mon., Kanoa Kukaua, 4-6pm. Every Tue., Sebrina Barron, 4-6pm. Every Wed., Mark Johnstone, 4-6pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 874-6444) STELLA BLUES CAFE – Every Thu., Ah-Tim, 4-6pm. Every Fri., Ahumanu 4-6pm. Every Mon., Tom Cherry & Mike Finkeiwicz, 4-6pm. Every Tue., Tom Conway, 4-6pm. Every Wed., Randall Rospond, 4-6pm / Slam feat. David Choy & Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd.; 874-3779)

TRADEWINDS POOLSIDE CAFE – Every Thu., Kawika Lum Ho, 6-9pm. Every Fri., Gina Martinelli, 6-9pm. Every Sat. Dominic or Mike, 6-9pm. Every Sun., Rob & Ron = R2, 6-9pm. Every Mon., Bobby Ingram & Friends, 6-9pm. Every Tue., Mike & Mark, 6-9pm. Every Wed., Steve Sargenti, 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.; 891-8860)

LULU’S KIHEI – Every Thu., Neto & Barbara, 8-11pm. Every Fri., Ron & Rob = R2, 6:30-9:30pm. Every Sun., Kawika Ortiz, 7-9:30m. Every Tue., Rick Scanlan, 7-11pm. Every Wed., Sebrina Barron, 7-9pm. (1945 S. Kihei Rd.; 879-9944)

CENTRAL/UPCOUNTRY

MONKEYPOD KITCHEN – Every Thu., Tom &

CAFE DES AMIS – Every Thu., Joe Conte, 6:30-

Mike, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Fri., Wolf, 3-5pm and Alika Nako’oka, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Sat., Barefoot Minded 3-5pm and Erin Smith 6:30-8:30pm. Every Sun., Alika Nako’oka, 3-5pm and Kilohana, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Mon., Ron & Tarvin, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Tue., Kilohana, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Wed., Jarret & Wilson, 6:30-8:30pm.

8:30pm. Every Sat., Live Argentinian music, 6:308:30pm. Every Wed., Mark Johnstone, 6:30-8:30pm. (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia; 579-6323)

PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR – Every Thu.,

R.B. BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE – Every

MON - Eat & Play Night / TUE - Karaoke Contest

Gina Martinelli Band 8pm; no cover

KAI WAILEA – Every Thu., Mon. & Sun., Wolf, 6-8:30pm. Every Fri., Ryan Robinson, 6-8:30pm. Every Sat., Kanoa Kukaua, 6-8:30pm. Every Mon., Tom Conway, 6-8:30pm. Every Wed., Francois, 6-8:30pm. (3750 Wailea Alanui; 875-1955)

Greg di Piazza featuring Alana Cini, 5:30-8:30pm. Every Tue., Ah-Tim Elenicki, 5:30-8:30pm. Every Wed., JD on the Rocks, 5-8pm. (658 Wharf St., Lahaina; 661-3636)

Live Music 5-8pm Vegas w/ Next Level Entertainment 10pm; no cover

Lacuesta, 4-8pm. Every Fri., Tue. & Wed., Rick Glencross, 4-8pm. Every Sat., Ryan Robinson, 4-8pm. Mon., Jacob (of the Alliez), 4-8pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 874-1250)

Every Thu., Howard Ahia, 6-8pm. Every Fri., Marvin Tevaga, 6-9pm. Every Tue., “Lahaina Idol” karaoke with Troy, 9pm; Every Wed., Kenny Roberts, 5-8pm. (Lahaina Cannery Mall; 661-0808)

WED - Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover

Owaila 10pm; no cover

SOUTH MAUI

Go to mauitime.com for complete weekly calendar listings, and find something to do today.

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover

Soul Congress w/ Clay Mortensen 9pm; no cover

Kaina, 7-9pm. Every Sat., Coehlo Morrison, 7-9pm. Every Mon. & Wed., Albert Kaina, 7-9pm. (5900 L. Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Napili; 669-1500)

There are over 100 things you could be doing today on Maui.

MON - DJ Slackin’ / TUE - DJ LX / WED Ladies’ Night w/ The ADD Twins (all sets 10pm - close; no cover)

MON - Tom Cherry & Mike Finkewiecz, 4-6pm; Willie K 10pm-12am, $10 / TUE - Tom Conway, 4-6pm / PowerUp Comedy, 9pm / WED - Randall Rospond, 4-6pm / Slam feat. David Choy & Clay Mortensen, 7-10pm

The House Shakers 9pm-12am

R.S. SHARKY’S

Kanoa 10pm-close

MONSOON INDIA – Every Sat., Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso, 6:30-8:30pm. Every Tue., The Hula

FLATBREAD COMPANY – Every first Thu., Randall Rospond, 5:30-8pm. (89 Hana Hwy., Paia; 579-8989)

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE – Thu., Pi’ilani Arias, 5-8pm. Every Fri., Braddah Francis 4-8pm. Every

Mon., Aloha Jam Session Night with hostess Teri Garrison, 8pm. Every Wed., Teri Garrison, 5-8pm / Free Karaoke Night with host Braddah Francis, 8pm. (355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului; 877-9001)

MAKAWAO STEAK HOUSE – Every Sat., Randall Rospond, 6:30-8:30pm. (3612 Baldwin Ave., Makawao; 572-8711)

LIST YOUR EVENT! Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo and a link to your Web site. Go to mauitime.com/listing and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Looking for something to do? Use MauiTime’s free calendar to browse hundreds of events online. Art galleries, family events, education classes, film and literary events, church groups, music, sports, volunteer opportunities—all this and more on our free events calendar at mauitime. com/calendar.

Start planning your week!

MARCH 8, 2012

27

KULA KID

Where are all the Brown People? BY ANU YAGI

G

o big or go home. It’s the bumper sticker creed appropriated to all champions’ aspirations. But here in Hawaii, taking what’s big beyond the most isolated archipelago in the world requires both going big while bringing it home; and for more than capitalizing on paradisiacal allure. Without a doubt, The Descendants went big–you can still hear the echo of champagne bottles’ pop–but the film’s baffling whitewash squandered an unprecedented opportunity for the celluloid indemnification of America’s most misunderstood piece of history. With envy tinged pride I’ve watched the rise to fame of The Descendants author, Kaui Hart Hemmings–the kanaka maoli, Sarah Lawrence College-educated dazzler who’s everything I wish I was but couldn’t be, unless under a kind knife (propitious lobotomy included, obviously). Papers ranging from the San Francisco Bay Guardian to the New York Times praise Hemmings for her “beautiful and blunt prose� and how “her comic sense is finely honed in this refreshingly wry debut novel.� With this, Hemmings is the first Hawaiian author to crossover into mainstream acclaim, and the applause is undeniably due. The inescapably palpable buzz of the book’s film adaptation by Alexander Payne (Sideways, About Schmidt) reached its crescendo with a yard-long list of illustrious noms, resulting in Golden Globe awards for Best Picture and Best Actor (George Clooney, as the fictional Kauai land baron Matt King), and an Oscar for Best Adapted Adapted Screenplay (Nat Faxon, Alexander Payne and Jim Rash), to name just a few. All this, coupled with my abundant hometown pride, had me earnestly hoping that The Descendants would be some sort of

bona fide Dec. 21, 2012 of Hollywoodized Hawaii–a massive shift in perception (or whatever) that would render the wicked world as we know it anew. I hoped it would make evident the farce of flicks like Blue Crush (2002) and 50 First Dates (2004)–modern manifestations of the cellophane hula-skirted ideal that’s been promulgated ever since Elvis-ish days– movies that obscured our isles behind sex-soaked beaches backed by billion dollar resorts. Rob Schneider’s idiotic Pidgin does not speak for us any more than his brownface looks like us. Slit our wrists and we do not bleed Mai Tais. So after finally swallowing the $18 expense to see the film in theaters (that’s 10 bucks for entry plus requisite concession, i.e. a bottle-o-vino from Maui Mall’s Longs), I was disappointed to find that, like every failed Rapture prediction past and yet to come, The Descendants did not deliver. At least, not like it could or should have. Sure, the opening montage attempted to establish the idea that Hawaii’s not the paradise it’s oft made out to be. Sure, expert cinematographer Phedon Papamichael captured texturally rich scenes yet unseen by most outside our isles. Sure, I was moved by Clooney’s skillful portrayal of his character’s pathos, and sequences like when Julie Speer (Judy Greer) forgives the comatose Elizabeth King (Patricia Hastie) for adultery. Sure I laughed–I even cried (but that ain’t hard, I’m a sobbing sucker)–but I nonetheless left feeling the film was critically wanting. Perhaps I should clarify exactly I think is missing from The Descendants film: color. And yeah, I’m talking about race. But for a few token locals barely in the background or with bit parts, everyone was white and rich–almost to the point of being startling.

And I don’t buy the hypothetical argument that this was all somehow supposed to be commentary about Hawaii’s elite, because that would still require contrast. Neither Hawaii’s history in Hollywood nor The Descendants provides that in any true form. Further, such commentary isn’t accurate. Hawaii’s the melting pot of the Pacific; and ask any paleish skinned person on the street (myself included)–grown or flown, prosperous or otherwise–and they’ll tell you haoles are something of a minority. Look, I recognize that but for our most visceral morality, there’s sparse sauce for the goose that’s sauce for the gander. My beef with The Decendants movie is my own, and judging by others’ reviews, one that’s not shared. I could acquiesce to the fact that the movie’s at least introduced the idea of land development in Hawaii to a larger audience. But for me, that’s not enough. Because I’m not asking that filmmakers quintessentially capture Hawaii’s ethnic fugue. I’m not asking for an all-encompassing history lesson or preachiness about the 1893 overthrow of the sovereign monarchy, our century down that rabbit hole and so on. (Though, the cheap narrative voiceovers could’ve at least managed a tad more substance.) But I am asking that the breadth of our diversity no longer be ignored or trivialized to an adumbration of the truth. The real descendants of Hawaii are a poi dog breed and our transplanted residents make that mix all the more colorful. If Hollywood’s going to shoot us, would it kill them to do so in authentic technicolor? â–

To read more Kula Kid with links and photos and stuff, and to leave comments, visit mauifeed.com/kulakid To share or save: mt.hy.pr/1538k anu@mauitime.com

The Business Card District HOT HULA ďŹ tnessÂŽ Niki Jackson Instructor

,JIFJ t $FOUSBM .BVJ

808.214.2158 Q PM Z G V[JB O DP N

UPCOUNTRY’S ONLY FULL SERVICE HEAD SHOP CUSTOM GLASS BLOWING & REPAIR

810 HAIKU RD UNIT #414 HAIKU CANNERY MALL

(808) 250-7556 HAIKUSMOKE@HOTMAIL.COM

Azeka Makai, Kihei

808 870 1112

OmSweetOm.com

jus

Spa Products, Lingerie, Bedroom Toys

for

To book your FREE party call Jen at:

513.518.3243

The Honey Pot Waxing 111 Hana Hwy #202A (behind Bounty Music)

MARCH 8, 2012

Furniture ~ Antiques ~ Art ~ Unique Gifts ~ Building Materials

OVER 3,000 COUTURE CLOTHING ITEMS FROM CELEBRITIES

t

Not Satisfied? We can help! Lotions,

28

FURNITURE SALE AT ALL LOCATIONS! t 8"3&)064&4 t 61$06/53: 4503& t /&8 ";&," 4)011*/( $&/5&3 -0$"5*0/ */ ,*)&* /&95 50 3"%*0 4)"$,

Get your business card in the hands of our readers

In n home parties for adult women wom

. #2 68 kahi., Ste 430 Ho’o enter 808.870.89 C u Wailuk

40-60% OFF ALL ITEMS

Specializing in Brazilian waxing new opening special $30 brazilian wax!! Clean, Quick, Professional, Friendly Srita Edgecomb-Houlahan

808.937.1052

eek *per w

$25 Contact brad@mauitime.com or call (808) 283-3260 *4 week minimum, black & white. Add $10 for full color

HOROSCOPE

Sign Language BY CAERIEL CRESTIN PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

As outgoing as you usually are, most Pisces need a significant amount of alone time to recharge. You become virtually unbearable when you don’t get it. Here’s the problem: you’re not always the best at making sure you take the downtime you need, especially when other people are making demands on your time and attention. Unfortunately, if you don’t take care of your own needs, who the hell will? This isn’t purely about selfishly looking out for number one. Taking care of yourself is also going to make you much better at taking care of everyone else—so make sure you do.

got someone breathing down your neck to make sure you do something “right,” try to remember the feeling, so you can suppress such urges in yourself whenever you’re in charge. You’ve got strong (and often “correct”) ideas about how things should be done, and your intentions in sharing them with others are good and noble. They’re also mightily annoying. Learning to bite your tongue and leave other people to their own (admittedly less efficient and effective) methods is a wonderful lesson—and this week’s experiences should help you master it.

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS

...to questions from page 6

1: B. Sir Can-A-Lot. 2: D. A penny a day. 3: A. Opposing a county plan to remove four Monkeypod trees.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

Don’t let emotional bullies manipulate you into behaving out of character. The drama queens in your life should be making your life more entertaining and interesting, not more aggravating and nerve-wracking. If, on balance, their shenanigans are more irritating than delightful, consider sidelining them until they can learn to be less of a drag. Don’t get sucked in to their melodrama. They may make you feel like you have no choice, but you totally do, even if it involves you being ever so slightly harsh; when they begin the theatrics, don’t wait until intermission—just get up and leave the theater. TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

Other people are not you. Don’t project yourself onto them. Some will fail where you succeeded, and some will succeed where you could not. That doesn’t mean you’re not “right” when you observe that something is overwhelmingly difficult, but being a naysayer and telling someone they can’t do something is a pretty lame (and possibly even mean) thing to do. Don’t be such a downer. Try to offer your support, even if you feel cynical or jealous. Perhaps all they need to flourish is what you might have lacked: someone amazing, like you, who’s willing to help.

What you think are actually “standards” would more accurately be labeled “rules to needlessly limit my life by.” That’s not to say you should abandon all ideas about who or what you want in your life. But you do need to become much, much more flexible regarding them. No one can jump through the series of hoops you’ve set up, and even if there is someone who’s capable, you’ll have no luck getting them to try, because who’d want to be with someone that demanding and particular? Your life’s limitations are completely self-inflicted—and most of them are not actually serving or helping you. Abandon some (or preferably most) of them, and see what magic consequently unfolds. SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

Sometimes we just have to deal with someone’s drama (because the alternatives are worse). However, this isn’t one of those times. Sure, you’ve tried everything you can think of to minimize the aggravation, and it’s true there’s not much else you can personally do. However, there’s plenty a third party might do to improve the situation (and thus, your overall quality of life). Resist engaging the first person who comes to mind. Instead of aiming for someone who is the most willing, or most available, shoot for the one who is neither of these—but is likely to be the most effective.

Green Island Gardening 15 years in business ÝÛJ<IM@E>

Upcountry, Wailuku & South Maui GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

Please, never feel like you’re trapped in a situation. Unless you’re duct-taped to a chair in someone’s basement, you have options and choices. They may not always be ideal or even feel tolerable, but they’re there. Telling yourself you don’t have any alternative is a sad story that plays handily right into your martyr complex. Stop repeating that pathetic tale. You’re stronger and more resourceful than that, and even if you’re not enthusiastic about the paths immediately available to you, you’re certainly capable of pursuing them and getting out of the lame circumstances you’ve felt stuck in. Quit whining and get to it. LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

People change. Sometimes those changes are temporary, sometimes they’re for good. Being able to figure out which is which is an important skill for you to cultivate. If you like the changes—and a reversion to someone’s old habits would be a deal-breaker, for instance—knowing whether or not they can be counted on is really valuable information. And if you don’t like the changes, being sure things will be back to normal in a month or two will help you “stick it out” instead of freaking out. This week, try to notice the differences between the two kinds of transformations—being able to accurately tell which is which will help you make better decisions in the month to come. VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

Being micro-managed sucks, doesn’t it? The next time you’ve

Animals and humans alike react violently when they feel cornered or trapped. You can’t blame a dog for biting you if he feels like he has no other choice—if, say, he’d rather run but doesn’t have that option. Be aware of the situations you’re putting others in. Even if they actually have other “outs,” some people may feel like they’re boxed in, anyway, and consequently could lash out in surprising and probably unpleasant ways. You can avoid these situations with clear communication and being careful to put yourself in others’ shoes before you make demands. Have you done that? This week, be sure—before you get into biting range. CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

Collaborating with other people requires sharing control—something that’s not always easy for you. Here’s the quandary. You know by maintaining full control over something you can make it at least reasonably successful. By sharing that power, you run the risk of utter failure, or at least something less successful than if you’d just maintained a firm grasp of the situation. However, you also create the possibility of the end result being something greater and cooler than you ever imagined. Isn’t that worth the risk, even though it might be frightening? It’s a trade-off, to be sure—but one that’s worth attempting, this week, and in the weeks to come. AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

It’s great to have a plan, but please try to think of it as “plan b” instead of “the plan.” This should be your fallback scenario, the thing you do if nothing better, more immediate, or more compelling happens. Since life has an occasional tendency to throw surprises your way, trying to steer things back onto your predetermined course will only be exhausting and mostly pointless. Going with the flow is a powerful tool. That doesn’t mean you need to let the current carry you wherever it wants—feel free to steer! But trying to make this the best and most successful ride, in the moment, is not the same thing as trying to make this into the ride you’d previously imagined.

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

ÝÛHL8C@KPÛP8I;Û:8I<ÛJ<IM@:<

Mowing, Weed Whacking, Hedge Trimming, Irrigation Repairs, & More

Call Kevin

808.276.0873

8ll]f\af_ÛlgÛYddÛqgmjÛdYf\k[Yh]Ûf]]\k 8ll]f\af_ÛlgÛYddÛqgmjÛdYf\k[Yh]Ûf]]\k

THE A-TRAIN FRIDAYS 3-9PM K-ROCK 97.3

So their methods aren’t your methods. Instead of rejecting them purely on that basis, consider this: are their techniques reasonably effective (even if they’re not as “good” in some way as yours)? Are they being ethical and more or less reasonable? If so, then stop condemning them just because they don’t do things the way you do or think they ought to. You did your honorable duty, by clearly stating your opinion, once—and that’s plenty. Now you have a clear choice: stay and help them out, their way—or just get out of the way.

FRIDAY AFTERNOON IS THE MOST POSITIVE, HOPE FILLED PORTION OF THE WEEK. SO HANG OUT WITH JOHNNY A AND SOAK UP THE GREAT VIBES, THE LAUGHTER, THE FREE STUFF, AND (OF COURSE) THE GREATEST ROCK AND ROLL EVER CREATED. MARCH 8, 2012

29

CLASSIFIED

Classified for your enjoyment Adult Services

Local Ads

DIVINE INTERLUDES Desiring A Higher Pleasure? Feel Fulfilled. Heart-to-Heart Body-toBody Bliss. For Sincere Discerning Men. Experience Heaven on Earth - The Goddess Divine. CALL ME875-8388

BUY & SELL

Heavenly Bodies Petite Blond & Brunette Females Private Sessions Bachelor Parties

DIVORCE SPECIALS

871-4941 661-9222

AAAH ... BLISS Melt to my Magical Hands Tenderly Touching your Whole Body. Delightfully Exquisite Sensual Pampering Session. Exotic, Intimate & Irresistable. Elegant Ambiance. Men, Women and Couples Especially Invited. Come to the Enchanted Gardens 891-2700

Mountain Butterfly Heartfelt, Loving Touch For Body & Spirit

Angel on Maui Incalls - Outcalls Couples Welcome Located in Kihei

870-1979 205-3680

Yokis

s Custom Dresses

& Gowns

s #USTOM "RIDAL Gowns s ,INGERIE s 'OWN Alterations

572-5884

yokimauilingerie@hotmail.com

Offering shipping on all orders HANGLOOSE HAMMOCKS HAWAII

ีก

ีก

ีก

ีกีกีกีก

Divine Delights

โ ค

โ ค

214.8529

โ ค

Kihei

โ ค

ีกีกีกีก

ISLAND BEAUTIES

808.633.6102

Sexy

Sweet &

Blonde

415-517-9583 OMFG!

Pleasures in Paradise

879-3500

Express yourself in a classy way. Get your ad in the classified section! brad@mauitime.com MARCH 8, 2012

(Upstairs, next to Cool Cats) www.hangloosehammockshawaii.com

WE PAY TOP $ FOR YOUR GOLD! *%7%,29 s 7!4#(%3 $)!-/.$3 s #/).3 NEW

REPAIR SHOP s #OMPLETE $IAGNOSTICS s 4RANSMISSIONS s %NGINES s &ACTORY 3ERVICES s 4UNE UPS s ! # 3ERVICE 2EPAIRS s #OMPLETE "RAKE AND 3USPENSION

BODY SHOP s )NSURANCE 3ALVAGED 6EHICLE 2EPAIR s #USTOM "ODY PAINT s &RAME 3TRAIGHTENING s 2UST 2EPAIR s "UMPER AND 0ANEL 2EPAIR s 2ElNISHING

7%34 -!5) GOLD

355 Alamaha St. Kahului, HI

667-7689

,)-!(!.! 0, ,!(!).! CHECK OUT OUR NEW KIHEI LOCATION!

MUSIC EQUIPMENT CASH FOR UKULELES We Loan Cash For Ukuleles 52 N. Market St. Wailuku 2425555

SERVICES MAUI RECYCLING SERVICE Picks up all your glass, plastic, aluminum, tin, newspaper, & cardboard. Now also: glossy paper & office paper recycling offered. Home Pickup; a convenience for $25.15/mo! Bi-monthly pick up. Commercial accounts avail. Call

SHARED HOUSING, ROOMMATES ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES. COM Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN)

VACATION RENTALS

WE NOW "59 !.$ 3%,, 15!,)49 53%$ &52.)452%

SOUTH MAUI GOLD

VISITING MAUI

~ Waves of Pleasure ~ Exquisite Erotic Bodywork ~ Genuine Tender Loving Care ~ Sensual Beauty

&RONT 3T s ,AHAINA 7HARF #INEMA #ENTER 808-244-3908

CASH FOR CARS Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car. com (AAN CAN)

MULTI-UNIT KIHEI INVESTMENT PROPERTY Rent amounts currently total $2925/month. Only $329,000. Josh Jerman, Realtor (808) 2832222 The Wailea Group LLC

CALL NOW

495.0176

CHRYSLER EXPERTS! BMW / MINI โ ข VOLVO MERCEDES โ ข VW / AUDI SERVICE โ ข PARTS โ ข ACCESSORIES

10% DISCOUNT FREE MINI-DETAIL WITH LARGE SERVICE โ ข Scheduled Maintenance to Major Overhauls โ ข Towing โ ข Extended Warranty Service โ ข Custom & Performance Products & Installation โ ข Collision Repair โ ข Restorations โ ข Detailing โ ข Tires โ ข Wheels โ ข Mufflers โ ข Batteries โ ข Air Conditioning Computer & Electronic Diagnostics

DIESEL โ ข BIODIESEL โ ข HYBRIDS (#RD 3881)

ISLAND WIDE SERVICE

878-2698

AMERICAN โ ข ASIAN โ ข CARS โ ข SUVS โ ข TRUCKS 3135 Lower Kula Road โ ข Behind Kula Hardware

REAL ESTATE FOR SALE PANORAMIC OCEAN VIEW

PATRICKโ S

AUTOMOTIVE MOBILE โ FAST-FIXโ โ บ ALL MAKES, MODELS & REPAIRS โ บ 1 DAY CLUTCH REPLACEMENTS CALL โ บ ASE CERTIFIED 205.2345 โ บ SINCE 1991

CLEAN, AFFORDABLE Accommodations in our vacation rental from $69 per day. Call Toll Free Wailuku Guesthouse 877986-8270 or www.wailukuhouse. com

HEALTH PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abbyโ s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293 (AAN CAN)

EMPLOYMENT HELP WANTED!! ! Make money Mailing brochures from home! FREE Supplies! Helping Home-Workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No experience required. Start Immediately! www.theworkhub.net (AAN CAN) PAID IN ADVANCE! Make $1,000 a Week mailing brochures from home! Guaranteed Income! FREE Supplies! No experience required. Start Immediately! www.homemailerprogram.net (AAN CAN) ACTORS/MOVIE EXTRAS Needed immediately for upcoming roles $150-$300/ day depending on job requirements. No experience, all looks. 1-800-560-8672 A-109 for casting times /locations.

NOTICES ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most

DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH IS OFFERING FREE HIV TESTING & COUNSELING (STD/HEP C as well). Mon: Kihei Community Centerโ 11-2 pm Tues: Wailuku Health Centerโ all day Wed: *Paia Community Centerโ 12-3 pm ( 1st, 3rd, (5th) week): *Haiku Community Centerโ 12-3pm (2nd, 4th week) Thur: *Lahaina Comprehensive Health Centerโ 9-12pm Fri: (non-furlough Fridays) Wailuku Health Centerโ appt. *=starting 4/1/10 Results in 2 weeks. For more info CALL 984-2129.

MAUITIME

Mango Mermaid

ีก

Traditional, Chair & Travel Hammocks in many styles!

AUTOMOTIVE SERVICES

WWW.DEVELOPKIHEILAND. COM 3.24 acres with preliminary subdivision and SMA approval across from the ocean. $1,449,000 Josh Jerman, Realtor (808) 283-2222 The Wailea Group LLC

of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org

DOES MORE WITH LE$$!

SWF SEEKING SOMEONE TO SPOIL ME 25, blonde Iโ m a clean, young sexy girl seeking a generous older man for some adult fun. I can host in a safe, discreet place. Only contact me if youโ re serious. Check out my profile and photos at www.EstMen. com/Ashlee4

30

2 bd/2ba Kihei condo. Walk to beaches, restaurants, and shopping. Only $269,000. Josh Jerman, Realtor (808) 283-2222. The Wailea Group LLC.

Convenient Upcountry Location

ีกีกีกีก

HOT BLONDE SEEKING GENEROUS GENTLEMAN - 23 Hi there! Iโ m a sexy blonde with a killer body seeking a generous man for a mutually beneficial intimate relationship. If youโ re looking for a good time in public and an even better time in private check out my profile at www.Estmen.com/ Jenn88

Now! 244-0443

CASH FOR OLD POI POUNDERS & OTHER HAWAIIANA We Loan Cash For Old Poi Pounders & Other Hawaiiana 52 N. Market St. Wailuku 2425555

Rest & Relaxation

269-0453

EROTICENCOUNTERS.COM Where Hot Girls Share their private fantasies! Instant Connections. Fast & Easy. Mutual Satisfaction Guaranteed. Exchange messages, Talk live 24/7, Private 1-on-1. Give in to Temptation, call now 1-888700-8511 MEN SEEKING MEN 1-877-409-8884 Gay hot phone chat, 24/7! Talk to or meet sexy guys in your area anytime you need it. Fulfill your wildest fantasy. Private & confidential. Guys always available. 1-877-409-8884 Free to try. 18+

CASH FOR TOOLS We Loan Cash For All Good Condition Working Tools 52 N. Market St. Wailuku 2425555

Mind, Body & Spirit *HEALING HANDS M4M* Treat yourself to a full-body M4M combination nurturing & therapeutic bodywork session. Incalls & out-calls available. Call 242-1122. LOW COST TRAINING & CERTIFICATION IN REIKI I, II & III March 24 & 25, FREE Introductory Evening: 5-7 pm, Saturday, March 3rd,.Info: 808-463-8255, TheHighestThoughts.com SEX LIFE ON HOLD? Sex therapist with 25+ yrs. exp. solves communication problems and all sex & relationship concerns. Private & Confidential Phone Sessions Worldwide FREE PHONE CONSULTATION Call Dr. Bouchard 891-0952 www.sexhappiness.com FIND MAUI’S HOLISTIC EVENTS! Visit www.mauivision.net today and explore our extensive mind, body & spirit listings. New February/March Maui Vision Magazine out now! Call 669-9091 for info.

MASSAGE LICENSED MASSAGE THERAPY - NOW JUST $45 FOR ONE HOUR SESSION! Enjoy a Relaxing Professional Massage. Private, Comfortable West Maui location by a Certified LMT. For Pregnancy Massage, Deep Tissue, Lomi or Swedish, call Susan 276-2114. Same day appts. available. MAT#8984 Ask about our new Pet Massage services now available.

PAN’S

THAI BODY WORK With Thai Herbs & Balms Located Upcountry

298.8869

Authentic $45

Thai Bodywork

Authentic THAI Bodywork s

Ancient Techniques s Herbs s Balms

Experience Thailand’s Living Treasure!

$45

Call NOM in 0UKALANI s

for 1 hour!

7KHUDSHXWLF 0DVVDJH With Dawan Upcountry Location

264-1576

The Art of Illumination

$

$

$

45 70 90 PLQ

PLQ

‡2UJDQLF 3URGXFWV‡ .LKHL ‡ 0$7

808.463.1771

KUV

0$66$*( )$&,$/ &20%26

Holistic School

Usui Reiki Breathwork

Sessions & Retreats

soulspamaui.com constancerosemaui.com

808.269.0703

Hands-on Healing & Classes

Reiki

Learn how to heal with your hands! Reiki Class Schedule; March 10 & 11 ~ 12-6pm in Haiku Or April 14 & 15 ~ 12-6pm in Haiku Diane Larson, Reiki Master ~www.MauiIslandReiki.com~808-385-4661~

I'ao Acupuncture & Spa

2012 Year of the Dragon

50% OFF

90 MIN

JADE MASSAGE initial consultation & $75 SPECIAL acupuncture treatment with Deborah Maghen, LAc with Honora Kalama, LMT *must mention ad to receive specials

Come See What’s New 1000’s of NEW ITEMS

from The Tucson Gem & Mineral Show!

50% OFF RED-TAG ITEMS!

Green Lotus ÂŚ Cystals ÂŚ Minerals ÂŚ ÂŚ Asian Art ÂŚ Jewelry ÂŚ

Pqfo!8!ebzt!b!xffl!ÂŚ!21bn!.!6qn

244.2300

Call:249-8280 ¡ www.iaoacupuncture.com

É‘Č?Č?Č˝ PȨ

1816 Mill Street ÂŚ Wailuku

É„ɤÉœȨÉ?ɤČ? ŃĽ 4ǸÉ•É•ǸČ?Č?

>ĂƒĂƒ>}iĂŠUĂŠ VĂ•ÂŤĂ•Â˜VĂŒĂ•Ă€iĂŠUĂŠ ˆvĂŒĂƒĂŠUĂŠ >Vˆ>Â?ĂƒĂŠUĂŠ7>Ă?ˆ˜}

Â?ÂˆÂˆĂŠ Ă•Â?>ĂŠ >Ă›i˜`iÀÊ*Ă€Âœ`Ă•VĂŒĂƒĂŠÂ˜ÂœĂœĂŠ>Ă›>ˆÂ?>LÂ?it 6<9 :,*65+ 36*(;065

56> 67,5 05 20/,0 3076( :; ‹

May 8 - August 16th, 2012

OPEN MON-SAT IN KIHEI OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK IN WAILUKU

There is nothing more sad then a business without an ad.

40 N. Market St. Wailuku, HI 242-8788

NOW WITH 2 LOCATIONS!

95 Lipoa St. #105 Kihei, HI 874-5333

^^^ NYLLU[PTH\P JVT *Now accepting Health Insurance

CHINESE TRADITIONAL BODY WORK

Call Mauitime today! 808-283-3260

BEAU TIFU L STU D IO Stiff Neck/Frozen Shoulders Headache Facial Beauty Whole Body Care North Kihei 8:30AM-7:00PM

808-269-7342

XIAO

MARCH 8, 2012

31

Anew Tattoo By Nancy

CRATER DOGS MAUI’S ONLY VERTICAL HOT DOG!

NOW OPEN!

Paia Tattoo Parlor

ALL BEEF GOURMET POLISH DOG FRESH LOCALLY BAKED BREAD

@

LAVA FLOWS CENTER TOASTED “PUKA� SOFT ROLL WITH GOURMET ALL BEEF POLISH DOG & TOPPINGS ON THE INSIDE (VEGGIE DOGS TOO!)

808.579.8515 FIND ME ON FACEBOOK

/08 "5 %"*3: 30"% r ,")6-6*

INKING MAUI FOR 18 YEARS

/&95 50 .*/65& 4501 808 8&& 808-205-3683 AIR MAUI HELICOPTER TOURS 2 FOR 1 SPECIAL!

West Maui/Molokai Special. Only Air Maui offers this incredible flight! Call now for your 2 for 1 Kama’aina special or special visitor rate! Expires Dec. 31, 2011. For reservations call 877-7005

0(',&$/ 0$5,-8$1$ ,1,7,$/ &(57,),&$7,21 5(1(:$/6 ‡ $// )((6 ,1&/8'('

MAUI TATTOO COMPANY

Traditional, Custom, Polynesian, Cover-Ups, Portraits & Permanent Makeup. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., under Lu Lu’s. 874-0034

THIS SPACE COULD BE YOURS! $115/WEEK

Heavily discounted opportunities. Prices from $469k and up. Contact Josh Jerman, Realtor 808-283-2222 The Wailea Group LLC

CALL BRAD AT 283-3260 OR TOMMY AT 283-0512 TO RESERVE YOUR SPOT

A store for gardeners big and small AW^kbk_ .-'#,)/) š >W_ak +-+#//// OhanaGreenhouse.com NationalGardenWholesale.com

Give a young person a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him to fish and he eats for a lifetime.

CHRYSLER EXPERTS! 3%26)#% s 0!243 s !##%33/2)%3

warehouse at 320 Hoohana St. Unit 13-16 in Kahului! Next to Pacific Fish Market and Mcguire Bearing

FOR AS LITTLE AS

WAILEA AND MAKENA REAL ESTATE DEALS

"-7 / -).) s 6/,6/ -%2#%$%3 s 67 !5$)

We’ve moved! Check out our new 4,000 sq ft.

SPORTFISHING

10% DISCOUNT

&2%% -).) $%4!), 7)4( ,!2'% 3%26)#%

Photo Š Mark Moquin & WaveShotsMaui

Mum’s M um’s tthehe wword. ord. . But the But the secret secret iiss ooutut

s 3CHEDULED -AINTENANCE TO -AJOR /VERHAULS s 4OWING s %XTENDED 7ARRANTY 3ERVICE s #USTOM 0ERFORMANCE 0RODUCTS )NSTALLATION s #OLLISION 2EPAIR s 2ESTORATIONS s $ETAILING s 4IRES s 7HEELS s -UFFLERS s "ATTERIES s !IR #ONDITIONING #OMPUTER %LECTRONIC $IAGNOSTICS

$)%3%, s ")/$)%3%, s (9"2)$3

2$

Stop Wishin’ & Go Fishin’ 42 ft. Custom Sportfishers Catch a 500+lb Marlin & your trip is

)3,!.$ 7)$% 3%26)#%

878-2698

!-%2)#!. s !3)!. s #!23 s 3563 s 425#+3

,OWER +ULA 2OAD s "EHIND +ULA (ARDWARE

TO THE HOTTEST SHOWS IN MAUI.

WIN

TIX

FREE

MAUI NEWS WITH MAUITIME FLAVOR

Valley Isle Gymnastics V

and we make a $300 donation to a Maui charity

(808) 667-2774

S I M P LY

.com

www.valleyislegymnastics.com • info@valleyislegymnastics.com

Go to mauitime.com/contests:

@ THE MACC ."3$) /% Ţ 1. ALL AGES

BECAUSE IT’S FUN!

250 Alamaha at Wakea, Suite N8 • Kahului • 871-6116

Use your Smart Phone to scan this code with QR Code App

Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.