16.17 2012 Bar Guide, October 11, 2012, Volume 16, Issue 17, MauiTime

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October Oc O ctober 11, 2012 ✚ Volume 16 ✚ Issue 17 ✚ FREE

SAVE THIS TO SNACK ON LATER AS YOU MIGHT NEED IT AFTER DRINKING THIS COCKTAIL

RAIN OR SHINE THESE WORTHLESS UMBRELLAS DO NOTHING TO INEBRIATE YOU

PLEASANTLY SUCKER PUNCHED BY THIS 151 FLOAT

IS THIS HAND CARVED ICE IN MY DRINK?

LIQUID MAUI WOWEE PRAISE GOD FOR THE JESUS JUICE

IT'S TIME FOR A REFILL

BAR GUIDE THE

2012

"UKE

FREE

SNORKEL

PG.5

SINISTER PG.25

PG.27

REVIEW

BOB'S

FESTIVAL

LOAN

PLUS

ENJOY RESPONSIBLY!


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OCTOBER 11, 2012


Contents

VOLUME 16

READER FEEDBACK

ISSUE 17

BY READERS LIKE YOU October 4, 2012 ✚ Volume 16 ✚ Issue 16 ✚ FREE

COVER:

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: Who’s your dream drinking partner?

October Oc O ctober 11, 2012 ✚ Volume 16 ✚ Issue 17 ✚ FREE

IS THIS HAND CARVED ICE IN MY DRINK?

LIQUID MAUI WOWEE

PRAISE GOD FOR THE JESUS JUICE

Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Hunter S. Thompson

ITS TIME FOR A REFILL

2012 BAR GUIDE THE

Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Betty Ford Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Richard Burton, Richard Harris and Oliver Reed

SNORKEL

FREE

SINISTER PG.27

NEWS & VIEWS 2012 BAR GUIDE BAR LISTINGS THIS WEEK’S PICKS FILM CRITIQUE FILM TIMES DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID CLASSIFIED HOROSCOPE MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Admin. Executive: Keo Eaton (808) 244-0777 Calendar Assistant: Jenna Schamber calendar@mauitime.com The Most Intersting Man In The World Proofreader: Dina Wilson Herb Caen Admin Assistants: Sara Riley (Johnny Depp), Jennifer Brown (George Clooney) (808) 244-0777 Interns: Sarah Gerlach, Lauren Hecker, Marina Satoafaiga, Oliver de Silva

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2012 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime. MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

-Ben Kincaid, Maui Pride co-founder, via MauiTime.com

Celebrating Maui's Fabulous LGBTQ Community

CANE PG.5

NEW CHEF

LUCKEY

Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II

PG.25

BURNING

Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia (Clint Eastwood), Christina Tarleton

4 10 20 25 27 29 30 31 36 37 39

"UKE

REVIEW

Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com Salvador Dali

PG.5

FESTIVAL

Culinary, Lifestyle & Business Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Don Julio González-Frausto Estrada

BOB'S

LOAN

PLUS

ENJOY RESPONSIBLY!

Maui Pride

HULA GRILL'S

RAIN OR SHINE THESE WORTHLESS UMBRELLAS DO NOTHING TO INEBRIATE YOU

PLEASANTLY SUCKER PUNCHED BY THIS 151 FLOAT

A special thank you to Moana Bakery & Cafe and James Shoemaker for making us a special Mai Tai. Photo: Sean M Hower. Cover design: Darris Hurst.

PLUS

SAVE THIS TO SNACK ON LATER AS YOU MIGHT NEED IT AFTER DRINKING THIS COCKTAIL

MORE

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Ben Franklin

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The Editor Responds: We did reach out to various non-male individuals for inclusion in our cover shot, Reina, but for one reason or another, all declined to take part.

REVIEW

MAUI PRIDE COVER I am a loyal reader of the Mauitime newspaper. However, the Oct. 4, 2012 cover photo was extremely offensive. How sad that MauiTime would parody the famous Iwo Jima Memorial honoring fallen Marines. Not even Mauitime can spin this cover photo to be anything but what it is, an attempt to put the LGBTQ on equal footing with the tens of thousands of brave Americans who have fought and made the ultimate sacrifice for all of us including LGBTQ. And before you say it yes, we all know that LGBTQ also fought for this country under cover and they should be no less outraged. Maui you really messed up this Time.

-Maria Johnson, via email Is there a reason why the cover photo is one big sausage fest? Where is the representation of the Lesbians? The Transgendered? The Bisexuals? The Genderqueer? For a story focusing on the LGBTQ Community you sure dropped the ball on the picture that should be a proud representation of said community.

-Reina Todoroki, via MauiTime.com

NOBODY DOES WHAT WE DO!

excludes them. The flag being raised is that represents everyone in the LGBTQ community... and we should all be proud to be part of it. Thank you MauiTime for your support and creativity!

Of course it would be great to be fully inclusive with all sexual orientations and gender identities, but people who don’t like this cover are missing the entire meaning behind it. This photo is playing off the Iwo Jima Memorial Statue (as well as the famous 9/11 photo of firefighters raising the pole with the American flag). There were no women in those, but that doesn’t mean that women weren’t there fighting or dying for what they believe in just like the men were. This photo (although a little playful) still is a symbol of the flag being raised up. Even if persons of other sexual orientations or gender identities aren’t present, I don’t believe this photo

CANE BURNING This is in regards to the MauiTime article on cane burning in the Sept 27, 2012 issue (“Feeling The Burn”) and the Coconut Wireless column in the Oct 4, 2012 issue. I totally agree that cane burning is terrible and has to stop. I also understand that there are alternate ways to harvest the cane. Bottom line, though: I do not agree with commercial and residential development on all 37,000 acres. Whatever happened to Hawaii especially Maui being sustainable–not having to depend on the mainland for our own needs (i.e. vegetables, fruits, and other kinds of agriculture)? Destroying the green fields will make Maui just like Oahu... full of concrete and roads. So tourism has become the largest source of income on Maui. HC&S should consider looking into other kinds of agriculture for these 37,000 fields and keeping Central Maui green! Maui has such rich soil and perfect climate to grow fruits and vegetables on a very large scale. I know water is scarce and can be very expensive but I bet if HC&S and other landowners work with the local farmers and even bring experts from the large, successful farms in California we can create a diversified and successful agricultural industry and make it efficient and affordable and profitable. I work in the construction industry but if we believe converting all 37,000 acres to commercial and residential development is an alternative to creating new jobs... well in the short term, yes, but it will destroy what Maui has come to be known. I wish the mayor, the county council, farmers, regular citizens and landowners come together to make some compromise to preserve Maui’s open spaces and green fields and create jobs and profitable ways to make it work without destroying Central Maui. Even the tourists would agree with keeping Central Maui green.

-Larry Angel, via email

Send your feedback

to the editor

editor@mauitime.com, MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793, twitter.com/mauitime, or facebook.com/mauitime. We reserve the right to edit feedback. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of MauiTime.

OCTOBER 11, 2012

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News & Views

COSTUMES

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According to an Oct. 6 story in The Maui News, what did state Senate President Shan Tsutsui vow to do in the upcoming legislative session about Act 55, which created the extremely controversial Public Land Development Corporation, which allows for public-private partnerships on public lands with no county oversight? A. Absolutely nothing. B. Form a committee to study the economic and land use effects of the act. C. Introduce legislation to provide for county oversight of the partnerships created under the act. D. Introduce legislation to repeal the

Representative/U.S. Senate Candidate Ed Case sent out an email to supporters on the Honolulu mayor’s race. What did the email say Case would do with respect to the race? A. Stay the hell away from anything dealing with the race. B. Endorse pro-rail candidate Kirk Caldwell. C. Endorse anti-rail candidate Ben Cayetano. D. Endorse incumbent Mayor/primary-eliminated candidate Peter Carlisle. E. Announce that he’s jumping into the race as a write-in candidate.

3. In the second quarter of 2012, the rate of methamphetamine use in Hawaii’s workplaces stood at 0.6 percent. According to an Oct. 8 story from Pacific Business News, what happened to the rate in the third quarter of 2012? A. Stayed steady at 0.6 percent. B. Rose to 0.8 percent. C. Rose to 0.9 percent. D. Fell to 0.5 percent. E. Fell to 0.4 percent.

See answers, page 37

Candidate!

Election Time

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO OPPOSES: Keeping Lipoa Point in preservation GETS CAMPAIGN DONATIONS FROM: Operating Engineers Local 3 PAC, Hawaii Laborers’ and Employers’ Coop. and Ed. Trust, ARDA-ROC PAC, Plumbers & Pipefitters PAC, Hawaii Carpenters PAC, developer Charlie Jencks, A&B Inc. PAC, A&B representative Mercer “Chubby” Vicens, developer Stanford Carr, Goodfellow Brothers

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RUNNING AGAINST: Joseph G. Blackburn II BIRTHPLACE: Hilo, HI PROFESSION: Incumbent ELECTORAL WIN/LOSS RECORD: 3/0 FIRST ELECTORAL VICTORY: 2006 SUPPORTS: Land development, organized labor

Mike Victorino is a nice enough guy who has worked for a variety of nonprofits and undoubtedly is sincere in wanting to maximize Maui’s quality of life. The problem is that he clearly feels that what’s best for the big land developers and unions is best for the island. Case in point is Victorino’s recent vote to approve Maui Land & Pineapple Company’s request to remove Lipoa Point from preservation. There are few spots on the island that enjoyed such popular support for preservation, but with little warning and virtually no debate, Victorino helped a major landowner– which had long promised to keep Lipoa Point as it is–simply move it into the build category. What’s most interesting is whether that vote, which angered a great many people on the island, will affect either his current reelection hopes in the short term or any mayoral aspirations he might have for the future.


News & Views

Coconut Wireless

Talk of the Island

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO As for the controversy over his loan, Wintner was unconcerned. “This ain’t my first rodeo,” Wintner said when I asked him about his other political advocacy. “I’m all in for [U.S. Senate candidate] Mazie Hirono and [Oahu Representative candidate/Speaker Calvin Say opponent] Keiko Bonk.”

MAUI CATTLE CO. CONSIDERING ENDING GRASS-FED BEEF

Ing, now out of debt to Bob

SNORKEL BOB LOVES KANIELA ING SO MUCH HE LOANED HIM NEARLY 2GS So apparently the Hawaii Republican Party is quite scared of South Maui state representative candidate Kaniela Ing, because they’re filing multitudes of campaign spending complaints against him. A whole mess of them are detailed in an Oct. 5 Maui News story, along with Ing’s explanations and denials of wrongdoing. But one particular allegation–that Ing violated state law by accepting more than $2,000 from a contributor–caught our attention: “He disputes the accusation that his campaign accepted a contribution in excess of the $2,000 legal limit for his race,” reported the paper. “Ing explained that he received both a $1,000 contribution and a $1,895 campaign loan from the same individual, as reflected in his campaign spending reports online. ‘In statute, if you fail to report a loan, it has to be counted as a contribution,’ he said. ‘The person who gave us the loan also gave $1,000, so it would be over the limit, but it’s been reported as a loan with all the paperwork sent in, so that claim has no standing.’” Um, what individual? For some reason, The Maui News chose not to name the “individual” who loaned Ing $1,895 and gave him $1,000, even though all campaign contributions and loans are a matter of public record, so I will: Robert Wintner. That’s right, folks: Snorkel Bob, one of Hawaii’s most famous marine writers and photographers, cut Ing a check for one grand on June 28 and then, on Aug. 9, loaned him nearly two grand. “He’s a young guy with a lot of natural

instincts,” Wintner told me this morning. “He was very persistent in seeking support from me. He speaks very clearly and he doesn’t blow smoke.” Wintner also said that also supported Ing because he was appalled at Republican incumbent George Fontaine’s negative mailers against former Representative Joe Bertram III. Wintner said he loaned Ing the money because Ing miscalculated when he would receive public matching funds. “He qualified for matching funds,” Wintner said. “They did not arrive when he thought they would. He might not get them for a week or so, so I loaned him the money.” Wintner added that Ing has since repaid him. Wintner’s support for Ing is hardly a surprise for Maui News readers–on Sept. 28, the paper published a pro-Ing letter from Wintner: “I have met with Kaniela Ing. I care not one zip about who was born where or years here or there. I assess on integrity and aloha and stated pledge to stand up for our reefs. I assess Kaniela Ing as the right man for the job.”

You know what’s depressing these days? The weather. Oh, I’m sure climate change-denying Republicans probably consider it comedy of the highest order, but for those of us who accept (notice I did not use the word “believe”) that science provides the most accurate explanation of the known universe to date, reading current weather reports is pretty dismal. “Based on the Palmer Drought Index, severe to extreme drought affected about 39 percent of the contiguous United States as of the end of August 2012,” states the current National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA)’s State of the Climate website (the website offers no data beyond August at this time). “About 55 percent of the contiguous U.S. fell in the moderate to extreme drought categories (based on the Palmer Drought Index) at the end of August.” The online U.S. Drought Monitor, which is produced by the University of NebraskaLincoln, the U.S. Department of Agriculture and NOAA, says things haven’t changed all that much since August. “The Upper Midwest, northern

half of the Great Plains, and the West received little to no precipitation during the past 7-days,” states the Drought Monitor website, which was last updated on Oct. 2. “Temperatures for the period were generally above normal in the West (as much as 8 degrees above normal in the northern High Plains), 2-4 degrees below normal in the Great Lakes, Northeast, and Ohio Valley, and 2-4 degrees above normal in the Southeast.” For many months now, virtually all of the western United States has been mired in drought conditions not seen since the 1950s. Even out here in Hawaii, reports the U.S. Drought Monitor, “Abnormally Dry” to “Extreme Drought” conditions exist over the entire state except the Hilo side of Hawaii Island, East Maui and the Northshore of Oahu. And now, the Associated Press says drought conditions are taking a severe toll on the state’s domestic beef industry: “Maui Cattle Co., a partnership of several local ranchers who supply grocers, including Whole Foods Market, has been particularly hard hit,” the

Is this Maui Cattle Co's future?

FIRST WOMAN: “Did he make a drink out of the pie for you?” SECOND WOMAN: “He did!”

news service reported on Oct. 6. “The company has been sending 18 animals to market each week, reducing its herd by 60 percent since June 2011. It has let more than half of its employees go and now has only six.” Even worse, the AP reported that Maui Cattle Co.–so hard hit by drought conditions that have all but eliminated the grass the company famously uses to feed its herds, is considering giving the cattle a “high-protein byproduct” instead of grass. When the news service asked if this would hurt the company’s reputation, Maui Cattle Co. Managing Director Alex Franco said simply, “Our customers may consider this is a better option than having no cattle and no cattle industry.” Talk about unhappy cows... ■

-Monkeypod Kitchen in Wailea, Oct. 6

anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro

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OCTOBER 11, 2012


News & Views

NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY CHUCK SHEPARD

MEN WANT TO BE PRETTY, TOO

get cuts, the city employees’ union fights to retain every job, no matter its title.

For some reason, South Korea (with about one-sixth the men that America has) is the world’s largest consumer of male cosmetics, with its leading company approaching $1 billion a year in sales. According to a September Bloomberg Business Week dispatch, South Korean males became fascinated with the country’s 2002 World Cup soccer team’s “flower men,” who had smooth, flawless skin, and the craze took off from there. Said a male college student, “Having a clean, neat face makes you look sophisticated and creates an image that you can handle yourself well.” Makeup routines include drawing “thicker, bolder” eyebrows and, of course, expert application of lipstick. Said one admiring woman, “I feel like I have more to talk about with guys who use makeup.”

In August, the former director of Homeland Security’s office in charge of shoring up the nation’s chemical plants against terrorist attacks told CBS News that, five years after Homeland Security started the chemical program, “90 percent” of the 5,000 most vulnerable plants have still not even been inspected. The official, Todd Keil, said that when he left the job in February, $480 million had been spent, but that no plant had a “site security plan” and that management of the program was “a catastrophic failure.” A July Government Accountability Office report confirmed that 4,400 chemical plants had not been properly inspected.

CLICHE COME TO LIFE

OVERACHIEVERS

In an August report, the inspector general of the Department of Veterans Affairs warned that the regional office building in Winston-Salem, N.C., was in danger of collapsing because there were too many claims files stacked on the sixth floor. “We noticed floors bowing under the excess weight to the extent that the tops of file cabinets were noticeably unlevel [sic] throughout the storage area.” The report also warned of the potential of files falling on, and injuring, employees. For the short term, the agency relocated all the folders (estimated: 37,000) on the sixth floor to offices on the fifth, seventh and eighth floors.

ARE WE SAFE YET?

KETV (Omaha, Neb.) reported in September that local mother Andrea Kirby had decided to give away her stored-up breast milk to a family in greater need. She had amassed a freezer-full of 44 gallons for her now-8-month-old child. And Tokyo police arrested Miyabi Kuroki, 43, in September, charging him with forging a medical license in 2009 and subsequently treating patients at a Tokyo hospital. He provided, among other things, examinations and electrocardiogram counseling. Hospital officials estimate he “treated” 2,300 patients before being caught.

GREAT ART! STILL THINK WE LIVE IN A ‘REPUBLIC?’ For years, U.S. senators Ron Wyden and Mark Udall (of the Select Committee on Intelligence) have been asking the director of National Intelligence to disclose how often the government might be “overcollecting” information on U.S. citizens by too enthusiastically applying the Patriot Act, but the director’s office has maintained that such information, whether or not it reveals wrongdoing, is classified. In July, the office finally declassified one fact that it said the senators were free to use: that the government had “on at least one occasion” overcollected information in violation of constitutional protections–but that’s all. The number of times, and all other details, remain classified.

BEST JOB EVER In August, a Michigan government watchdog group learned, in a Freedom of Information Act request, that the Detroit Water and Sewerage Department still to this day retains one job classification for a horseshoer. (The department owns no horses.) Over the years, the position has become a patronage slot paying about $57,000 a year in salary and benefits, sometimes requiring the “horseshoer” to do “blacksmith” work such as metal repair. Because of severe bud-

Canadian artist Taras Polataiko’s twoweek-long live re-creation of Sleeping Beauty was featured through early September at Ukraine’s National Art Museum in Kiev, with an unexpected outcome. Five women had been chosen to fall asleep daily and, by signed contract, to agree to marry the first man who awakened them with a single kiss (thus to witness “the birth of love,” according to Polataiko). Only one awoke during the exhibit, but since that payoff kiss was applied by a female gallery-goer, the contract could not be fulfilled in that Ukraine forbids same-sex marriage.

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS Dakoda Garren, 19, was arrested in Vancouver, Wash., in September on suspicion of stealing an antique coin collection in May that was estimated to be worth $100,000. Garren and his girlfriend were identified after spending some of the coins at a movie theater and a pizza restaurant, using rare Liberty Head quarters (worth from $5 to $18,500) at their face value. ■ chuck@mauitime.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1617n2

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Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

T

o the Hana cop who wrote me a $35 parking ticket for “Facing Oncoming Traffic” ($35) on the short dead end street near the Hana Hotel Cottages. Really? Parking facing the wrong way on a little side street in Hana? I found this to be one of the most insulting, petty infractions in the grand scheme of things. For some reason, this felt like Maui was insulting a citizen just for taking a hike at the beach. Maui doesn’t really treat people this way, does it? And when I told my Hana friend about it he said I walked into the biggest parking trap in Hana. People park that way often and the cops see it as an easy way to pick up some revenue. Tacky, just flippin’ tacky. Good thing you didn’t see the herb pipe exposed on the console. Aw, snap. ■

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“THE HARD PART ABOUT BEING A BARTENDER,” SAID THE WRITER RICHARD BRAUNSTEIN, “IS FIGURING OUT WHO IS DRUNK AND WHO IS JUST STUPID.” BARTENDING IS, WITHOUT A DOUBT, THE TOUGHEST OF ALL SERVICE INDUSTRY JOBS. ESPECIALLY ON ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR TOURIST ISLANDS IN THE WORLD. PART CHEMIST AND PART PSYCHOLOGIST, A BARTENDER HAS TO MANAGED BOTH THE OFTEN CONTRADICTORY WISHES OF THE CUSTOMER WITH THE PHYSICAL SCIENCE OF ALCOHOL. THERE’S A GOOD REASON WHY THE WORDS “BALANCE” AND “PATIENCE” APPEAR OFTEN IN THE DOCUMENT THAT FOLLOWS. AS IN YEAR’S PAST, WE WENT TO A WIDE VARIETY OF ESTABLISHMENTS AROUND THE ISLAND–LOCALS ONLY DIVES, TOURISTY RESTAURANTS, FINE DINING ESTABLISHMENTS IN LUXURIOUS RESORTS–AND TALKED WITH THE MEN AND WOMEN BEHIND THE BAR ABOUT WHAT MADE THEIR JOBS WONDERFUL, AND WONDERFULLY DIFFICULT. WHAT FOLLOWS IS A FASCINATING SERIES OF SNAPSHOTS INTO THE EXACTING WORK THAT GOES INTO THE SEEMINGLY SIMPLE ACT OF MAKING SOMEONE A DRINK. GOING OUT FOR AN EVENING THAT INCLUDES AN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE SHOULD BE A FUN AND ENJOYABLE EXPERIENCE, AND EVERYONE WE SPOKE WITH DOES HIS OR HER BEST TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN. BUT PLEASE REMEMBER TO DRINK SAFELY. BARTENDERS CAN DO OUTSTANDING AND INCREDIBLE THINGS WITH THE SIMPLEST OF INGREDIENTS, BUT IT’S UP TO US CUSTOMERS TO BEHAVE RESPONSIBLY.

BOTTOMS UP. WORDS BY: JEN RUSSO RESEARCH BY: SARAH GERLACH PHOTOGRAPHS BY:

SEAN MICHAEL HOWER

10 OCTOBER 11, 2012


BARTENDERS AROUND MAUI drinking cocktails, and the other half champagne–champagne sales are very important to my ultimate bar. We’d have a rad house band. Then one day Sally Fitzgibbons comes in to surf and we fall madly in love and get married out in the lineup, then party back at the bar. What’s interesting about being a bartender on Maui? There’s a new plane arriving every hour and you never know who’s going to walk into your bar.

JEFF GROH Merriman’s Kapalua What spirit do you like to work with the most? As spirits go I would have to say Bourbon, but if you ask my bartenders they’ll laugh and tell you I can’t make a cocktail without bitters. The last drink I made with bourbon was Elijah Craig: homemade ginger beer, lime juice and Fee’s Old fashioned bitters. What would you change about the liquor business on Maui? Less sugar, better spirits, and a controlled use of tropical fruit. Also, I might ban blenders.

What makes a good bartender? The best bartenders are always still learning and looking for something new, whether it be technique or an ingredient that’s going to make a drink better. I’m curious by nature and I’d like to think I stay true to this goal, but I’m not a bartender day-in and day-out. I wear a lot of hats in our restaurant. What’s the newest drink you have created? Big Island Honey, tamarind and a Cognac “Sidecar.” It’s a combination of the sweet and sour that you get from tamarind rounded out by honey and then enlivened with the woodsy spice of Hennessy Cognac. It reminds me of biting into the perfect apple, but the apple bites back! Oh yeah, it has bitters–all my cocktails tend to have bitters...

What’s your bar’s signature drink? Any response other than a Mai Tai is probably wishful thinking. I’d like to think that our bar’s signature is using great spirits and keeping them prominent in our cocktails. Yeah there are tropical elements–mango in the tequila drink or pineapple with the vodka but you can taste the spirits. It’s a cocktail, damn it–not fruit punch! We also make more ingredients in our bar than in any other I know of but that’s another story. What’s your signature drink? Bourbon and Hibiscus with Peychauds bitters. It’s a slant rhyme off a Manhattan but made “island-style” and not too sweet. What are your influences? My children are huge influences. My youngest daughter Madeline will ask me, “Dad did you do wine today?” and I’ll be like, “Oh yeah, Daddy totally did wine today” and then my oldest wants to help me make cocktails, which I know is trouble. I tried teaching them about fermentation this summer. We made a Kula strawberry ginger soda and lost two-thirds of the batch to bottles violently exploding, which was a pity because it was easily the best soda I’d ever tasted. It was just kind of dangerous to drink. I think it’s important to make science fun and half of drinking is science. What’s your ultimate dream bar like? I think my ultimate bar would be a tiki bar in Indo that was built palapa-style right on the beach, complete with thatch roof and sand floor. There’d be a perfect point break in front and I’d surf half the day and start work in the afternoon when the winds came up. There’d be hammocks as well as tables and all the fruits and juices would be sourced locally. We’d distill our own rum from cane juice and have a reserve bottling that was 30 years old. Our clientele would be ex-pats, supermodels, surf pros, unpretentious artists and philosophers. Half the people are

Engaging the customer while quickly making their drinks with a smile. I think people appreciate when you’re not grumpy and slow. Eye contact, speed, consistency and a good sense of humor are essential. Well, the humor helps. Our bars aren’t really set up to lounge at, so working fast is essential to keep the crowd moving along. What are your regulars like? Since the MACC bar is currently only open during MACC events, our patrons change with the scenery. From locals coming to see their families perform in hula shows to locals and tourists alike venturing in for a variety of acts like big-name concerts or free community festivals. From our more “environmentally aware/ free thinkers” who often show up to support the Ted X talks and film fests to a younger more “hip” crowd that you’ll see at the “The Shins” or MACC’s ArT=Mixx, which features cutting edge visuals, costumes and heavy bass electronic dance music. The MACC is very versatile and so are our regulars.

Maui Arts & Cultural Center Pavilion Courtyard bars What spirit do you like the most? I think vodka is the most versatile. I enjoy making these tasty ‘lil martinis called “Chocolate Cake” which is vodka and Frangelico, shaken until chilled cold, with a rim of sugar and a lemon slice. Delicious! What would you change about the liquor business on Maui? Well, I have a dream of opening my own bar in this lifetime, but I’m constantly hearing how difficult it is to get permits, etc. to open one on Maui.

What makes a good bartender? Personality, charm, true and genuine hospitality. Pride in your craft and the ability to share it with everyone who sits with you. At one time, a bartender’s social status was alongside that of doctors and lawmen, held in a high regard among their peers.

Lahaina Sports Bar What spirit do you like to work with the most? We just started carrying Effen Cucumber Vodka and I love it!! Vodka, ginger with a splash of sour. It’s so refreshing.

MISTI KOTTER Hard Rock Cafe

What’s the most important thing about making a drink? Consistency. I want it to be good every time.

What spirit do you like to work with the most? Bacardi Dragonberry/Strawberry Lemonade

What are your regulars like? Longtime Lahaina residents and young service industry folks.

What is the last incredible wine or beer you drank? Menage a Trois. It’s a red blend using Cabernet, Merlot and Zinfandel.

What makes a good bartender? Attentiveness and friendliness. I always try to make sure people have a full drink and full tummies. I genuinely care about the well being of all of our guests. Whether they’re celebrating an anniversary, sport team or even having a crappy day. I try to make it as good as possible, safely! What is the newest drink you’ve created? The Yellow Rose: Stoli and Stoli honey, fresh orange juice, lime juice, lemonade soda and Sprite, on the rocks.

HAKIEN PAGAN Food & Beverage Manager, Molokini Bar and Grille, Makena Beach Resort

What is your bar’s signature beverage? It’s ever-changing. We’re constantly changing our menus to suit the the performance of the evening. We offer drink specials that complement the show or artist being featured.

What spirit do you like to work with the most? Gin.

What’s your signature drink? I love dark rum. Myers and pineapple juice with a spritz of soda and a slice of lime is always a refreshing tropical treat.

What’s your bar’s signature drink? We have multiple using fresh herbs or “Herb’n Cocktails” from our Chef’s on-site garden. Our signature drinks are The Molo Rita and Lemongrass Fizz.

When you are making a cocktail what is the most important thing?

What is one interesting thing about being a bartender on Maui? The obvious answer is the ability to meet new people daily. Especially in the hotels. You never know who will be sitting at your bar and the experience to be had.

KATIE CONLEE

What is your bar’s signature drink? The Green Flash! Stoli Vanilla, Midori and pineapple.

ANGEL SALAVEC

making a cocktail? Balance and the expression on the guest’s face that says, “Wow, what was that? I want more.”

What’s the last drink you made with it? “Red Velvet” Hendricks, raspberry, lemon, cucumber and simple syrup.

What’s the most important thing when

What is your bar’s signature beverage? Hurricane. It’s a mango twist on the Mai Tai. What’s your signature drink? For Pinktober, we have the Tropical Tatas, which combines Ciroc Coconut, So-Co, Pina Colada mix and strawberries. Name one new liquor/beer/wine you tasted recently. What was your impression? Sailor Jerry’s Rum. I thought it had a good spice to it. It went down smoothly and gets you drunk like a sailor.

NOEL SANCHEZ Ko, The Fairmont Kea Lani What’s the last incredible wine or beer you drank? Gaja Barbaresco: phenomenal balance of tannins and lingering finish. What’s your bar’s signature drink? The Ko Plantation. We also have a variety of wines and Maui Brewing Co. Beers. What’s your signature drink? Peach margarita. When you are making a cocktail what is the most important thing? Using fresh ingredients.

OCTOBER 11, 2012

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12 OCTOBER 11, 2012


What makes a good bartender? A good bartender is attentive, makes good eye contact with guests, has knowledge of spirits and wines and is clean and efficient behind the bar. What’s the newest drink you’ve created? My newest creation is a Basil Martini: fresh basil, vodka, St. Germain and fresh lemon juice.

job and strive to learn more every day. What is the newest drink you’ve created? Blueberry Lilikoi Lemonade: Stoli blueberry with passion fruit, soda water, a splash of lemonade and a splash of sprite with a squeeze of lime.

BROOK FOWLER Dog and Duck Irish Pub What spirit do you like to work with the most? Whiskey. Janet from Southern Wines and Spirits showed us a fun new drink called the Dickel in Cider. I’ve been making them like a bomb, with a half pint cider and one shot of George Dickel’s Tennessee whisky. You drop the shot in the pint glass and chug.

CHRISTOPHER MICHAEL NEVINS Fours Seasons Lobby Lounge What spirit do you like to work with the most? Sammy Hagar’s Beach Bar Rum. The last drink I made with it was this year’s Mai Tai mix-off winner: the “Kipahulu Lulu,” which is Sammy’s beach bar rum, mint-infused orgeat, Cointreau, fresh lime juice, Coruba dark rum and Bing cherry foam, served with julienned Kaffir lime leaf. What’s the last incredible wine or beer you drank? Hitachino White Ale from Japan. Amazing beer, with a great story behind the brew company as well. They concentrated on bottled water after the tsunami to assist with the relief. What influences you? Chefs! The culinary world has huge influences on the cocktail world. I love Thai food and Thaiinspired drinks. For example, the Thai-garita on our menu: Lemon grass tea, ginger liqueur, chili peppers, tequila and fresh sour mix. So take the flavors of the region and incorporate into your beverage. Fresh and local is always better. What’s interesting about being a bartender on Maui? “Talk story” is a Hawaiian staple experience. As a bartender, this is mandatory. What makes my job so great is listening to the guests’ stories of what they have planned. Of course I love making recommendations of activities as well. What makes a good bartender? Eye contact. I genuinely care for our guests and want them to have the best experience possible. Listening and helping out goes a long way. Plus I love what I do, where I do it and the amazing team around me.

DANIELLE PALONE Spankys Riptide What spirit do you like to work with the most? Tequila. I recently made a lilikoi Margarita with Correlejo. What is your bar’s signature drink? Corona bottles and PBR on draft. When you are making a cocktail what is the most important thing? Putting a little love in it. Use fresh fruit instead of adding extra juices and fake flavors. What makes a good bartender? Someone who is aware, knows the customer and can read people. It’s our job to make sure people are having fun while being safe, providing food and water when it’s needed and knowing about what we are serving. I love my

What’s the last incredible wine or beer you drank? Angry Orchard Crisp Apple is by far my new favorite beer/cider. It’s crisp and refreshing. You can drink it straight from the bottle or pour it over rocks and add a shot of Fireball Whiskey. It’s a Dog and Duck favorite. What’s the most important thing when you’re making a cocktail? Balance. No matter what combination of ingredients, balance is key. What are your regulars like? At Dog and Duck our regulars are like family. They are a really fun crowd. If you come to Dog and Duck on any day during happy hour, you’re guaranteed a good time. What makes a good bartender? A good bartender not only keeps your drink full but has to be having a good time doing it. While bartending in a tourist destination you have to be willing to share some of the island local secrets. I try to do all the above.

MONDAYS 7-10pm

CHARLEY’S LIVE BAND OPEN MIC & JA JJAM M

Singers, Songwriters, musicians, comedians, poets and artists

TUESDAYS

TACO TUESDAY with live music featuring

NEW HOUSE DRINK MENU

Happy

6:30-8:30pm

HOWARD AHIA, ERIC DOTTERER & FRIENDS

THURSDAYS

LIVE MUSIC FEATURING

daily 3pm-6pm

THE SPOT

Happy Hr

Hour

MARK JOHNSTONE & $3 drafts & wells 6:30-8:30pm LENNY CASTELLANOS BLUES DUO

FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS

FOR MUSIC & ENTERTAINMENT ON THE NORTH SHORE! Entertainment Entertain ainmen m t Schedule av avialable at:

CharleysMaui.com

SUNDAYS

grinds daily 3pm-7pm

NFL SUNDAY TICKET bbq pork sliders & Bloody Mary Bar Open for breakfast at 7am!

& fries $6

Happy Hour Specials h Inside at Bar & High Top Booths

$3

Sauza Margaritas r 1-6pm

$3

Kona Drafts r 1-6pm

RICHARD GREENE Grotto Bar, Grand Wailea What spirit do you like to work with the most? Absolut Vodka. The last drink I made with this was Wailea Splash. What is the last incredible wine or beer you drank? I’m like Sam Malone from Cheers. Haven’t had a drink for 28 years. One day at a time. What’s the most important thing when making a drink? Keep it consistent with the recipe. A good pour and garnish with fresh-cut fruit. What are your regulars like? The nicest people you want to know and I’m blessed with that. What makes a good bartender? The ability to multi task, be efficient, remember return guests by name and make new guests feel like they are part of the ohana. What’s the newest drink you’ve created? The Grotto Bar Caipirinha. It’s Brazil’s national drink but we like to expand on it with muddled limes and lots of brown sugar and give two ounces of Sagatiba Cachaca Rum.

Everyday • Inside at bar only Rimmed w/ Li Hing Mui or Italian Sea Salt Inside at bar only r Wailua Wheat (Lilikoi) r Big Wave Golden Ale r Fire Rock Pale Ale

h Fresh Fish, Nachos, Burritos, Tacos

GREAT DEALS

Happiest Hours!

Last Seating on Halloween 3:30pm

3 Baldwin Avenue Paia, HI r (808) 579-8755 OCTOBER 11, 2012 13


South Maui’s

CHELSEY LANG

FAVORITE

Haui’s Life’s A Beach If you could change one thing about the drinks business on Maui what would it be? Everyplace be like Haui’s Life’s A Beach and serve draft beer in true 16-ounce pints, not the short pints that most bars use.

5 LUNCH

LOCAL MAUI BEEF

What’s your signature drink? Lava Flows, Pina Coladas. What’s the most important thing when making a cocktail? Use the right proportions and always smile.

DAILY LUNCH SPECIALS!

Name one new liquor/beer/wine you tasted recently. What was your impression? Stoli Hot Jalapeno Vodka. Spicy and delicious.

business on Maui? Fewer drinks requiring a blender. What influences you? Chef Perry’s amazing kau kau. What’s your ultimate dream bar? Are you kidding? Do you know where I work? What makes a good bartender? A good bartender takes pride in his profession, has a good personality behind the bar, is accurate and can make a drink exactly the same every time. What’s the newest drink you have created? Garden Variety is the name: one and a half ounces of gin, two ounces of Beverage Artistry’s Thai Basil & Black Pepper, then fill with club soda. It’s a work in progress, and is not on the menu yet.

What’s the newest drink you have created? Afternoon Delight: Sky Ginger Vodka with Absolut Citron Vodka and soda water.

Kihei Gateway Plaza (behind Tesoro) Mon - Sat: 7am - 8pm • Sun: 7am-2pm 874.8600 • Catering • Wi-fi

Kama’aina Special

25%

RANDI SCHNIDER Diamonds Ice Bar and Grill

off all entrees, Everyday!

What spirit do you like to work with the most? Jager!

In Bar or Dining Room Valid thru October 30th

DAVID MAHL Ruth’s Chris Steak House Lahaina What’s the last spectacular drink you had? It was a syrah by Charles Smith. It was a big syrah but light and fruity at the same time. What would you change about the liquor business on Maui? Like Ren McCormick would say, we should be able to dance when and where we want. What’s your signature drink? Lahaina Ocean-Tini made with Blueberry Vodka and Hypnotiq.

Reservations not required

808.661.8422

What’s the most important thing when making a drink? To show love and passion with your ingredients.

505 Front Street, Lahaina

Valid w/ Hawaii state I.D. Offer not valid with any other discount. Special’s available from 5:30-Close.

BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH

25% of all sales on Tuesdays 100% of our ‘One Hope Chardonnay’ sales

On Tuesdays which will be discounted to $4 a glass on Tuesdays

25% of sales from our “Betty’s Luscious Libations” cocktail list (Cumulative for the month)

*All proceeds will be donated to the Maui Memorial Medical Center Foundation ALSO DON’T FORGET: The Best Champagne Brunch on the Island serving 8am-2pm every Sunday Live Kona Lobsters $14.95 Wednesdays starting at 4pm $2 Margaritas During Happy Hour 2-5pm & 9-11PM 12oz. Prime Rib $19.95 Saturdays All Natural Hawaiian Beef 505 ffront street • 808.662.0300 •bettysbeachcafe.com •facebook.com/bettysbeachcafe

14 OCTOBER 11, 2012

Who or what influences you? Todd Graham, the current Arizona State Football Coach, and his teaching discipline with a winning attitude. What’s your ultimate dream bar? My concept is like an old school public house, specializing in bourbon/whiskey cocktails. It would also be known as the bar with the most bourbon/whiskey and scotches on the island. We would serve gastro pub fare and it would be located in Wailea. Name one new drink you tasted recently. What was your impression? Rogue Bacon Maple Ale in collaboration with Voodoo Donuts. It was a very heavy beer with a slight taste of maple and bacon in your cheeks and mouth afterwards. What is the newest drink you’ve created? Pink Panther, which is like a Cosmo but with a couple of twists.

DON BASTIAN Mama’s Fish House What would you change about the drinks

What would you change about the liquor business on Maui? Bring back the pitchers. What is your bar’s signature drink? Jager. We’re the top selling bar in jager on the island. What’s your signature drink? Jager. It’s what I drink. Name one new liquor you tasted recently. What was your impression? Angry Orchid Cider with Cinnamon Fireball Whiskey. It was refreshing. What are your regulars like? Lots of construction workers, business ladies, all ages from 21-60, Kihei regulars. Great, fun people who come here to have a great time. What makes a good bartender? Personality and multi-tasking makes everything. I know my regulars, their wives’ names and where they work. Get to know them and their little demands, certain straws or glassware they like. It makes all the difference in the world.

ALLIE BUSBY Spankys Riptide What spirit do you like to work with the most? Tequila. What’s your signature drink? Margaritas are my favorite. I call them Allieritas. What’s the most important thing when making a drink? Taste. What are your regulars like? They’re an awesome group of locals and industry people. What makes a good bartender? Multi-tasking and having a smile on your face. I’m always smiling. I can’t seem to stop.


VOTED BEST BAR! + BEST MALE & FEMALE BARTENDER ON ISLAND! 2012 BEST OF MAUI

DAILY DRINK SPECIALS MAUI’S COLDEST BEER • ICE COLD AC LIVE MUSIC: GOMEGA ON MONDAYS & RAMPAGE ON THURSDAYS FULL MENU TIL MIDNIGHT! BREAKFAST + NFL SUNDAY @8AM LIVE SPORTS • SHUFFLE BOARD

THE T HE W WORLD ORLD F FAMOUS AMOUS DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB DAILY DRINK SPECIALS • LIVE SPORTS LATE NIGHT FOOD TIL 1AM MAUI’S ORIGINAL PUB QUIZ EVERY THURSDAY AT 7PM LIVE MUSIC • LANAI SEATING GOOD FOOD • GREAT ATMOSPHERE!

*Photos By: Sean Michael Howerr

UPSTAIRS PRIVATE VIP ROOM WITH FULL BAR : CALL FOR INFO & RESERVATIONS

808.875.9669 • 1913 S. KIHEI RD

808.874.9299 • 1279 S. KIHEI RD OCTOBER 11, 2012 15


Patience, willingness to smile (even under duress) and dedication to mastering your craft.

their familiar and friendly bartender to look forward to, visit after visit.

What is the newest drink you have created? I’m really into gin right now and am working on a drink called the Owl & Pussycat (named after the children’s book): gin, Pimms, ginger syrup, lemon and grapefruit bitters.

What makes a good bartender? Consistency, seasonal and fresh ingredients, a passion for creating and sharing with your customers.

JASON VENDRELL Monkeypod Kitchen

TRISTON RODRIGUES

How did you get a job there? I helped open it. What spirit do you like to work with the most? I love tequila and whiskey. I recently made a drink called the Makawao Avenue with Makers Mark Bourbon, lemon, Angostura Bitters, honey and a housemade cayenne-ginger beer. It’s surprisingly refreshing.

Gannon’s Red Bar

WENDY AGUSTIN Haliimaile General Store

What would you change about Maui’s liquor business? I wish people were more curious and adventurous.

What spirit do you like to work with the most? Probably rum. I love making culinary cocktails, and it’s versatile for our island-style drinks.

What is your bar’s signature drink? I think the Monkeypod Mai Tai, for sure. I have other favorites, but it’s just one of those drinks you can’t miss out on trying.

What’s your signature drink? Oh my, there are many. Perhaps our Lemon grass Ginger frost

What’s your signature drink? Ho’opono Potion: tequila, aperol, lime, simple syrup and muddled cucumber. What influences you? My best friend owns a native plant nursery in Kula that inspires me. I also read a lot. What makes a good bartender?

16 OCTOBER 11, 2012

What is the newest drink you have created? “Uncle Joe’s Ruby Red.” Joe Gannon was my inspiration for this drink. He grows the best grapefruits and loves to bring me fresh squeezed juice from his trees. I created a Ruby red grapefruit with a mint sour infusion and a kosher salt rim. It’s a balance of fresh fruit and herb, sweet, sour and salty.

What are your regulars like? We look forward to seeing our guests “come home.” We have a few editions now of our family photo albums, our customers who have earned their way into the book. What is one interesting thing about being a bartender on Maui? Everyone is happy to be here, and to have

What would you change about Maui’s liquor business? People would still have fun but practice a better designated driver system. What’s the most important thing when making a drink? Taste and presentation. Who or what influences you outside of the beverage business? Surfing. Name one new liquor you tasted recently. What was your impression? Svedka Coloda vodka. It was a pina colada in one bottle.

CHASE WILHELMSEN Spago, Four Seasons Maui How did you get a job there? I started as a backserver six years ago and worked my way up. What spirit do you like to work with the most? Vodka, because you can be the most creative with it. Maui Sunset was the last drink I made with it: Van Gough Mango Vodka, Canton Ginger Liqueur and fresh lilikoi puree. What is the last incredible wine or beer you drank? Schafer Hillside Select Cabernet Sauvignon, from an incredible wine maker and winner of the coveted James Beard award. It’s a beautiful fruit-forward Cabernet Sauvignon with hints of cedar box and an underlying essence of chocolate, leaving you with a long finish wanting more. It’s from Napa Valley, California. What would you change about the liquor business on Maui? Being able to light alcohol on fire as part of the show. What’s your bar’s signature drink? Cucumber Martinis, Pineapple Ginger Mojitos and classic cocktails like a Negroni or Sidecar, which most bartenders on Maui have never heard of.

What makes a good bartender? Being a good listener.

What’s the most important thing when making a drink? Precision. Being accurate with classic and corporate recipes is important for a consistent product.

What’s the newest drink you have created? Jermiah Weed’s Sweet Tea Vodka, Makers Mark Bourbon, agave nectar, our tropical tea and house lemonade.

Name one new liquor/beer/wine you tasted recently. What was your impression? Stoli chocolate-covered raspberry. It was so delicious and smooth you don’t even need a


mixer. I’ve also recently discovered Red Breast Irish Whiskey, which is absolutely delicious. What are your regulars like? Locals who come in once or twice a month who are looking to treat themselves to the finest Maui has to offer. What makes a good bartender? Not having to wait for a drink. I go out to bars/ restaurants a lot and my friends and I always sit at the bar. The ones who keep my glass full are always my favorite. Attention to detail is what makes me a good bartender. You never want when you’re at my bar. Spago is the perfect fit for me because of our outstanding customer service.

gin. Lately, I’ve been using cognacs and aged rums paired with fruits and citrus for a beverage with a deeper flavor profile. What is your bar’s signature drink? We have a few signature martinis. Tropica Bar has the Dragonberry Bomb cocktail made with fresh blackberries, fresh lime, St. Germain Elderflower and Bacardi Dragonberry Rum. Our signature blended drink is the Nutty Hawaiian: Stoli Vanilla Vodka, Macadamia Nut Liqueur, coconut cream, floated with Godiva Dark Chocolate Liqueur and the rim is dipped in chocolate syrup and macadamia nuts. What’s the most important thing when making a drink? Make it full of flavor, but it must be BALANCED! Who or what influences you? I can’t just narrow it down to one thing. Absorbing everything in my travels has a huge influence on me in recent years. Also, a couple of old mentors of mine who are not in the beverage business have and still influence me to this day. Lastly, my kids have a huge influence in my life. They make me want to learn new things, which is such a good thing.

FRED (FREDDIE) SCONFIENZA Tropica Restaurant & Bar, The Westin Maui Resort & Spa What spirit do you like to work with the most? It depends on the direction I’m going with when making a drink. I typically let my customers give me a direction, then customize a drink that I think they will truly enjoy. If I’m making something light and fresh, I enjoy working with

What makes a good bartender? A good bartender will ask a customer questions before making a cocktail for them. I try to find out what my guest are looking for and make sure they are fine with giving me the creative freedom to make their drink. I like to personalize their experience through their drinks. What is the newest drink you have created? I had a guest ask for a tropical drink made with Scotch. I put together Scotch, fresh lime juice, mango puree, splash of passion fruit

and fresh sliced jalapeno. This was the first time I had tried it. The smoky flavor from the Scotch really worked well with the spice from the jalapeno and sweet mango.

JADE BOWMAN Charley’s Restaurant and Saloon How did you get a job there? I got a phone call on a Sunday asking if I could come in and train that night. I was not sure if I wanted to take the job, so I called my mom and asked her. “Well, Hell ya, Jade,” she said, so I went in. I’ve been at Charley’s for over a year and that’s the longest I’ve ever been at a job continuously. What spirit do you like to work with the most? Vodka! I love it because there are endless options for cocktails when mixing it. Plus there are like a thousand different flavors: marshmallow, whipped cream, blueberry! The last drink I made with it was a Dirty Goose. I have a funny saying about Martinis: come ask me sometime! What is your bar’s signature drink? We recently created a new drink menu and it’s got the tastiest cocktails, including an Organic Agave Margarita and a White Gummytini with fruity gummy bears at the bottom! What’s your signature drink? A long time ago, when I was first learning to bartend, a lady came in and ordered “something fruity and sweet, but strong.” If you’re a bartender, I know you’re laughing right now. So I mixed a few things together and she wrote on the receipt, “Thanks for the absolutely delicious Martini.” That was four years ago and I still have the note. I think the drink tastes like sunshine! Either way, it’s delicious and it’s also made it to our drink list at Charley’s. It’s called the Maui Martini.

What’s the most important thing when making a drink? Don’t forget the liquor! Smiling is usually a good idea, too. Who or what influences you? Honey Boo Boo. What’s an interesting thing about bartending on Maui? I love bartending on Maui because so many people on this island work in the service industry, so they completely understand when it’s really busy and it takes a few minutes to get a drink on a busy night. What makes a good bartender? A good bartender is someone who can smile when shit hits the fan, which is a lot harder than it sounds. What’s the newest drink you have created? We have a whole new menu of new drinks including the Paia Punch, which features Bacardi Oakhart, Malibu and 151.

CIDRONIO D. BUMANGLAG, JR. (AKA JUNIOR) Ono Bar & Grill, The Westin Maui Resort & Spa How did you get a job there? I started at the resort as a pool attendant and was later accepted into a management training program in the Food and Beverage Department. One day when one of our bartenders called in sick, I was asked to set up Tropica Bar and found that I did a pretty good job. This encouraged me to learn more about the bar business and when a bartender position opened, I applied and here I am. It took a few tries but I did it.

OCTOBER 11, 2012 17


What would you change about the liquor business on Maui? Customers should have an open mind and try different cocktails instead of the fruity tropical ones that Hawaii is known for. They are good but you can have that anywhere. At Ono Bar & Grill, we have different flavors to offer our guests innovative cocktails with a local flair. What’s the most important thing when making a drink? Having fun making it. The drink is only as good as the person creating the concoction. What are your regulars like? The regulars are fun because they already know who you are and enjoy the personality traits you share with them. I enjoy the ones whom you can really talk to. What is interesting about being a bartender on Maui? I like the challenge. There is always something new that can be created amidst the diversity found on the island. What makes a good bartender? There are different traits to becoming a good bartender but, for me, it’s having fun at what I am best at and the opportunity to share my creations with the customers.

cheese-stuffed olives. Yum! What’s your newest drink? The Hula Girl: Stoli blueberry, Chambord, Pina Colada mix, strawberry puree, all garnished with coconut and an orchid.

JAMES SHOEMAKER Moana Café in Paia How’d you get this job? Well, I would hope it was experience and original cocktails but you know, being named on the MauiTime Most Essential Bartender List 2011 didn’t hurt. What spirit do you like to work with the most? American whiskey. I make a mean Sazerak. What is the last incredible wine you drank? 2008 Mangus by Arizona Stronghold winery. The grapes are grown in Cochise County, AZ by Tool frontman Maynard Keenan and this bottle of Jesus Juice made its way to me on a volcanic rock in the middle of the ocean. It’s pretty spectacular. What would you change about the liquor business on Maui? The bureaucracy. What is your favorite happy hour on Maui? Well, it was Kahale’s Beach Club but they got rid of the Auto-Fry so now it’s Dog & Duck. Why? Three words: Harp Irish Lager. What is your bar’s signature drink? Lost. What is your signature drink? Year of the Dragon Mai Tai. When you are making a cocktail what is the most important thing? The spirit to bitters to sugar to water ratio. Who or what influences you? I read cookbooks.

KENDAL EASTERLING Pineapple Grill What spirit do you work with the most? Tequila. Margarita Top Shelf, of course. What’s your bar’s signature drink? The Alii Mai Tai. It’s made with fresh squeezed lime, orgeat syrup, orange curacao, Bacardi, guava and pineapple juice, dark rum and 151 rum.

What are your regulars like? I have the best crew of regulars. Sometimes we rock out with bourbon Old Fashioned’s and now The Last Word has found its way into their lives.

What’s your signature drink? Da Faisky Whiskey! Whiskey, peach syrup, carmelized Maui Gold Pineapple, fresh squeezed lemon and lime and pineapple juice. It’s all shaken tableside in a mason jar by your server.

What is one interesting thing about being a bartender on Maui? I like cruising the Saturday swap meet for all kinds of crazy-ass fruit and herbs.

What’s the most important thing about being a bartender on Maui? Consistency, taste and preparation, along with fresh ingredients. What makes a good bartender? Efficiency, attitude and consistency. The ability to make someone’s bad day turn around. I’m always having fun and never showing it if I’m busy.

SANDY JEAN Joe’s Bar and Grill Wailea How’d you get this job? I was pimping leis so they already knew me here. I got hired on for a season in 2007 and I’m still here. What spirit do you like to work with the most? Square One cucumber vodka and a drink called the Relaxer. What’s your signature drink? A slightly dirty cucumber Martini with bleu

18 OCTOBER 11, 2012

Name one new liquor you tasted recently. What was your impression? Okolehao by Haleakala Distillers. I love this uniquely Hawaiian cane-based spirit at Moana Café, come by for a Dharma Initiative and I promise it will blow your head clean off.

What makes a good Bartender? Bartending requires considerable study to become an expert. The really great bartenders are people who please their customers, who recognize that there are several grades of cocktails. A good barman can always be told by the way his bench looks. What’s the newest drink you have created? Mr Grey. Ok, so we developed this cocktail for all our special lady friends at Moana Café, one of ya’ll left your copy of Fifty Shades of Grey and we were inspired (to say the least): two parts Grey Goose vodka, one part St Germain, fresh Upcountry strawberries, rhubarb bitters and lime juice. Handcuffs are optional. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1616d1


OCTOBER 11, 2012 19


Maui’s Happiest Hours WEST MAUI 100WINES HAPPY HOUR - Every Fri & Sat. $5

Wines; $5 Well Cocktails; 10 different tasting appetizers for under $10. 9pm-12am 100Wines, (Lahaina Gateway Center, 325 Keawe St. #105, Lahaina); 808-661-6181 BETTY’S HAPPY HOUR - Daily. Enjoy $2 margari-

tas, $3 mai tais, $4 local beers, $4 mojitos, as well as $5 ceviche. 2-5pm and 9-11pm. Betty’s Beach Cafe, (505 Front St., Lahaina); 808662-0300; bettysbeachcafe.com BLUE LAGOON HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $3 select

beers, $3 select cocktails, $5 select appetizer. 2-6pm. Blue Lagoon Lahaina, (658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4900; bluelagoonlahaina.com BUBBA GUMP HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $3 Draft pints; $5 23 oz drafts, house margaritas, Blue Hawaiians. Half off Cajun Shrimp and Bubba Dip appetizers. 9-10:30 pm Bubba Gump Shrimp Co., (889 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-3111; bubbagump.com

DOLLIE’S HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $2.50 - $3.50 drafts, $4.95 power hour shots, $1.50 slices of cheese or pepperoni pizza, $5 pupus. 3-6pm and after 9 pm. Dollie’s Cafe & Pub, (4310 L. Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana); 808-669-0266; dolliespizzakahana.com

glass, $9 select cocktails, as well as a happy hour menu with various discounted food items. 3-4:30pm. Honu Seafood & Pizza, (1295 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-9390; honumaui.com

DON’S MAI TAI BAR HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $4 se-

DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE HAPPY HOUR - Daily.

Local brews; $5 Select Wines by the glass; $7 varied specialty cocktails. Starting at 5:30pm Kama’aina get 25% off all entrees. 4:30-6pm I’O Restaurant, (505 Front St., Lahaina); (808) 6618422; http://www.iomaui.com/

Cocktails: $6 Mai Tai & Duke’s Lemonade; Beer: $4 Domestics; Wine: $6 J Lohr Chardonnay; Food: $5.75 Kahuna Sliders, $5.50 Cajun Ahi Taco, $5 Black Bean Nachos, $5.75 Imu Fired Ribs, $4.50 Steamed Pork Bun. Live music during every happy hour. 3-5pm. Duke’s Beach House, (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Kaanapali); 808-662-2900; dukesmaui.com

JAPENGO HAPPY HOUR - Daily. Hand-crafted Cocktails: $6-$8.00; Beer: $4.00; Wine: $5.00. Happy Hour Food Discounts: 25% discount on starter menu and a Special Pupu Platter for $26.00. They also feature live music 7 days per week in the evenings. 5-6:30pm. Japengo at the Hyatt Regency, (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Lahaina); 808-661-1234; maui.hyatt.com

FAMOUS DAVE’S HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $3 Bud

JAVA JAZZ HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $2.50 Becks, $3 Corona or Coors Light, $5 tropical drinks, wells, and select wines by the glass. 3-5pm. Java Jazz/Soup Nutz, (3350 L. Honoapiilani Hwy., Honokowai); 808-667-0787; javajazz.net

lect beers, $5 house wines by the glass, $6 wells, $6 Mai Tais, $2 ea. pulled pork sliders. 2-6pm Don’s Mai Tai Bar, (2780 Kekaa Dr., Lahaina); 808-661-3611

Light pints, Mai Tais, and wells. $4 Margaritas. 2:305:30pm and after 8pm. Famous Dave’s, (736 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-1125; famousdaves.com

CAPTAIN JACK’S HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $2.50 Bud Light draft, $4 local draft, $4 wells, $4 daily Bartenders Choice. Football Sundays get $2.50 16 oz Bud Light pours all day for the games. 3-6pm Captain Jack’s Island Grill, (672 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0988

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT STREET HAPPY HOUR

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off tropicals, Bud drafts, house wines, and wells. 3-6pm Castaway Cafe, (45 Kai Ala Dr., Lahaina); 808-661-9091; castawaycafe.com COOL CAT CAFE’S HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $1 off drafts, $3 wells, $4 daily Bartenders Choice. 3-6pm Cool Cat Cafe, (Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908; coolcatcafe.com

- Daily. Get $4-$6 Beers; $9 and up Wines; $8 Wells & $10-$12 Premiums. Also, the Rooftop Bar Menu is 15 percent off during Happy Hour. 3-5pm. Fleetwood’s on Front Street, (744 Front St, Lahaina); 808-669-6425; http://fleetwoodsonfrontst.com ly. Hard Rock Cafe offers all day prices for drinks that start low. Get beer starting at $5.30, wines starting at $6.65, and their premium wells which also start at $6.65. 11am-11pm. The Hard Rock Cafe, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400; hardrock.com HONU SEAFOOD & PIZZA HAPPY HOUR

- Daily. $4 Bud Light, $8 select wines by the

I’O RESTAURANT HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $4

KIMO’S HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $4 Drafts, $4 house

margaritas, $5 house wines, $6 Mai Tais. Appetizer specials: 50% off Mac Nut Calamari and Mu Shu Kalua Pork. All Happy Hour specials apply unless Uncle Willie K is playing. 3-5pm. Kimo’s, (845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811; kimosmaui.com LAHAINA SPORTS BAR HAPPY HOUR - Daily.

From 11am-3pm get $5 Boiler Makers & $7 Boiler Maker Premiums. Also available are daily $7 lunch specials. From 3-7pm get $3 Beers; $3 Wells & $5 Premiums; $4 wines. Also available are weekly happy hour food specials. Lahaina Sports Bar, (843 Wainee St Unit 1 & 2, Lahaina); 808-667-6655;

LEILANI’S HAPPY HOUR - Daily (except Mon &

Wed). Thursday-Sunday Leilani’s Happy Hour features $4 Mai Tais & House Margaritas, $4 Draft beers, $4 Sliders. Taco Tuesdays: $4 a la carte tacos (chicken, pork, fish, or veggie) and $4 chips & pico de gallo. 3-5pm Leilani’s On The Beach, (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); (808) 661-4495; leilanis.com LONGHI’S HAPPY HOUR - Daily. From 3-6pm get

$3 Coors, Corona, and Heineken. $4 Maui Brews, $5 wells, $5-6 house wines, $7 tropicals and martinis. Also enjoy a $6.00 tapas menu. From 9-11pm drinks are half off. Longhi’s Lahaina, (888 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-2288; longhis.com LULUS LAHAINA HAPPY HOUR - Daily. From

4-7pm enjoy $2 Steinlager Pure, $3 Mai Tais & margaritas. From 5:30-6:30pm get 25 percent off the whole menu. Lulu’s Lahaina Surf Club & Grill, (Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy. #A1, Lahaina); 808-661-0808; luluslahaina.com MALA HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $1 off wells, draft, and domestic bottles. $2 off select wines and select specialty cocktails. The Happy Hour menu features $2 off many of Mala’s favorites, including select salads, the Snake River Farms Kobe Burger, various flat breads, the Ahi Burger, and My Big Fat Greek Salad. 3-4:30pm. Mala Ocean Tavern, (1307 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-9394; malaoceantavern.com MAUI BREWING CO. HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $4

drafts, $1.50 slices of pepperoni or cheese pizza, $12 full pepperoni or cheese pizza. 3-6pm and after 9:30pm. Maui Brewing Co. Brewpub, (Kahana Gateway Center, 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana); 808-669-3474; mauibrewingco.com MAUI FISH & PASTA HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $3

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cals, $5 Spatinis (low calorie martinis). Also select from a $3.50-$5 pupu menu during happy hour. 2-4:30pm Maui Fish & Pasta (Formerly Cane &Taro), (Whalers Villiage, Lahaina); (808) 6620668; http://DKRestaurants.com MERRIMAN’S HAPPY HOUR - Daily. Well drinks (So-

bieski Vodka, Bombay Gin, Flor de Cana Rum, Dewar’s Scotch, Sauza Tequila & Elijah Craig 12 Whiskey) for $5; Varied Beers for $3; Mai Tai’s for $6; Wines by the glass are 25 percent off. We also offer Oceanfront Wine Bar/menu every day at 3:00 p.m. 25 % off on all food everyday at the bar for Kama’aina. 3-5pm Merriman’s, (1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina); 808-669-6400; http://www.merrimanshawaii.com/maui.htm MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S LAHAINA HAPPY HOUR - Daily. Enjoy $3 wells and draft pints, $4 pre-

miums, as well as a selection of 15 tropicals for $4. 4-7pm. Moose McGillycuddy’s. (844 Front St., Lahaina); 808-891-8600; mooserestaurantgroup.com OHANA BAR & GRILL - Daily. $2.60 Coors, Bud,

Sam Adams. $4.65 select cocktails. $3 pizza by the slice. 3-6pm. Ohana Bar & Grill, (104 Kaanapali Shores); 808-661-2000 ONO BAR & GRILL EARLY HAPPY HOUR - Daily.

$4 drafts, $5.25 wells, $5.25 Mai Tais, Bay Breeze, Margs on the rocks, $6 house chardonnay and cabernet, $2-3 off select pupus. 5-6pm and 1011pm Ono Bar & Grill, (2365 Kaanapali Pkwy.); 808-667-2525; westinmaui.com/dining/ono PAILOLO BAR & GRILL HAPPY HOUR - Daily.

$4 Mai Tais; $4 16oz Draft Beers; $6 22oz Draft Beers; $6 House Chardonnay and Cabernet, $6 Pina Coladas & Lava Flows. Also get 20 percent off food purchases with valid HI ID. 4-6pm Pailolo Bar & Grill, (6 Ka’i Ala Dr., Lahaina); 8088-667-3200 PARADISE GRILL AND MELLOS BAR HAPPY HOUR - Daily. During Happy Hour enjoy $3 Do-

mestic drafts; $4 Imports; $3.50-$4.50 Wells; $6$8.50 Premiums; and half off selected appetizers. You can also find $2 Bud Light draft pints, $3 Coors Light draft pints, and $5.25 house wines by the glass all day, every day. During pro football games

pizza’s are half off. 3-7pm Paradise Grill, (2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Lahaina); 808-662-3700 PINEAPPLE GRILL HAPPY HOUR - Daily. Get your day going with $3-$4 draft beers, $4 Signature Pineapple Grill Cocktail, $4 select vodkas, and $5.50 Svedka Vodka cocktails. 2:305:30pm. Pineapple Grill, (200 Kapalua Dr.); 808-669-9600; pineapplekapalua.com ROYAL OCEAN TERRACE HAPPY HOUR - Daily.

$4 select beers, $5 house wines by the glass, $6 wells, $6 Mai Tais, $2 ea. pulled pork sliders. 2-6pm. Royal Ocean Terrace, Royal Lahaina. (2780 Kekaa Dr., Kaanapali); 808-661-3611 ROYS HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $4 drafts, $6 wells all

day. Roy’s Kahana Bar & Grill, (4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana); 808-669-6999; roysrestaurant.com RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE HAPPY HOUR -

Daily. $4-$4.50 Beers; $5 Select Wines; $8.50 Wells & $9 and up for Premiums. Also enjoy a bar menu with items ranging from $7-$10. 5-7pm. Ruth’s Chris Steak House, (900 Front St., Lahaina); (808) 661-8815 SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT HAPPY HOUR Daily. $3-5 beers, $5-8 select specialty cocktails, $5-12 select wines by the glass, $5-7 pupus. 2-5pm. Sea House Restaurant, Napili Kai Beach Resort, (5900 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Napili); 808-669-1500; seahousemaui.com SLY MONGOOSE HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $2.50

domestics, $2 all schnapps. 4-7pm. Sly Mongoose, (1036 Limahana Pl., Lahaina); 808-661-6181 SPANKY’S RIPTIDE ALL DAY HAPPY HOUR - Dai-

ly. $3.75 Corona, Corona Light, and Pacifico bottles; $4 PBR, Bud Light, and Coors Light drafts; $4 Wells; $5-6 Calls; $7-8 Premiums; $6-8 Wines by the glass. Also get great prices on food with $5 burgers, hot dogs, breakfast burritos, and brekie sandwiches. Great prices all day, every day. Spanky’s Riptide, (505 Front Street, Suite 129-130, Lahaina); 808667-2337; http://www.spankysriptide.com THE CLIFF DIVE BAR HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $6

drafts, $7 wells, $7 select wines, and a selec-

tion of over 30 tropicals for only $8. 3-5pm. The Cliff Dive Bar, (2605 Kaanapali Pkwy.); 808-6628025; sheraton-maui.com/dining/cliffbar TIKI BAR & GRILL HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $3.25

bud light, $4.25 local draft, as well as $6 daily bartenders choice. 3-6pm. Tiki Bar & Grill, (2525 Kaanapali Pkwy.); 808-661-0011

ly. Fifty percent off domestic beers, wine by the glass, and well drinks on the rocks. 5-6pm. Botero Bar & Lounge, (3850 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808875-1234; wailearesortdining.com CAFE ON THE GREEN HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $4

draft, $6 house wine, $4-6 select pupus. 4:306:30pm. Makena Beach & Golf Resort, (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888

TIKI TERRACE HAPPY HOUR - Daily. Twenty percent off food & drink. 6-9pm. Tiki Terrace Restaurant, (2525 Kaanapali Pkwy.); 808-661-0011

CAPISCHE? HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $3 domestics,

TROPICA EARLY HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $5 off signature martini cocktails, $41 three course meal with option for additional $10 wine pairing. 5-6pm and 8-9pm. Tropica, (2365 Kaanapali Pkwy.); 808-667-2525; westinmaui.com/dining/tropica

DIAMONDS ICE BAR & GRILL HAPPY HOUR -

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA’S HAPPY HOUR - Daily. From 6-9 pm

get $1 off wells and bottled beers, $2 off all martinis, $3 off draft beers and absinthe. After 10 pm enjoy their daily drink specials: Mon. $2 off Redbull drinks; Tue. $2 off Jager; Wed. $2 off Jack Daniels; Thu. $4 Luxury shots; Fri. $2 off well vodka drinks; Sat. $2 off all tequila shots; Sun. Happy hour runs all night!. No Cover. 6-9pm Ambrosia, (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-1011; ambrosiamaui.com BEACH BUM’S HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $2.50

Bud light and PBR pints, $3.00 LongBoard Lager pints, $3.50 Margaritas and Mai Tais, and $3.50 Wells. 3-6pm. Beach Bums Bar & Grill, (300 Maalaea Rd.); 808-243-2286 BISTRO MOLOKINI HAPPY HOUR - Daily. Ten dol-

lar Drinks: Monday- Mai Tai’s, Tuesday: Crater Punch; Wednesday: Lana’s Lemonade; Thursday: Molokini Punch; Friday: well drinks; Saturday: Ono Ono Special; Sunday: Hawaiian Tea. Shake Things Up!–refillable Grand Wailea signature shaker cocktails $22 with $14.50 refills. Food Specials: Buy one dinner entree, get the second of equal or lesser value half off. Nightly $39 3-course menu. Bistro Molokini, (3850 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-1234; wailearesortdining.com BOTERO BAR & LOUNGE HAPPY HOUR - Dai-

$4 imports, $5 wells, $6 house wines, $8 martinis, $10 pupus. 5-6:30pm. Capische?, (555 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-879-2224; capische.com Daily. $2 Bud Light, $3 Wells, $5 Jager during happy hour from 3-7 everyday. Also get $1 tacos everyday from 3-5pm & 10-11pm. Daily Drink Specials: Everyday: $3 Bud Light draft, PBR, Becks, Primo, Dos Equis. Mon: $3 Coronas. Tue: $3 Margarita rocks. Wed: $4 Cosmos. Thu: $3 Rolling Rock. Fri: $4 Vodka Special. Sat: $3 Beer bottle special. Sun: $3 Mai Tais. Daily Food Specials: Mon: $2 Tacos. Tue: $14.95 Fajita day. Wed: $8.95 Chalupas. Thur: $14.95 BBQ Ribs. Fri: $12.95 Snapper. Sat: $10.95 Fish & Chips. Sun: $8.95 Menudo. Free wifi for customers. 3-7pm Diamonds Ice Bar & Grill, (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-9299; diamondsmaui.angelfire.com/diamonds_ice_bar.html DOG AND DUCK HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $2 Bud light; $3 Wells; $3 PBR, Becks, and Primo; $5 Jager; Daily Bartenders Choice. 3-7pm. Dog & Duck Irish Pub, (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-9669 FABIANI’S BAKERY & PIZZERIA HAPPY HOUR -

Daily. Half off draft beer and pizzas. Must be seated in the bar. 2-5pm. Fabiani’s Bakery & Pizzeria, (95 E. Lipoa St., Kihei); 808-874-0888; fabianis.com FAT DADDY’S SMOKEHOUSE HAPPY HOUR -

Daily. $2.50 Bud and Bud Light, $4 Longboards and Mai Tais, $5 Drunken Palmers. When you buy one Fat Plate, get one Fat Plate half off. 2-5pm Fat Daddy’s Smokehouse, (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808879-8711; fatdaddysmaui.com

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HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH HAPPY HOUR - Daily.

From 3-7pm get $2.50 pints Budweiser, Rolling Rock, Bud Light and Coors Light, $3.50 24oz mugs. Stella Artois and Shock Top $3.50 pints, $5.00 24oz mugs. Mai Tai’s $2. For just $6 get a whole liter of Mai-Tai! On Football Sundays head to Haui’s from 8am-7pm for $4 Bloody Marys and $3 Screwdrivers to go with your $6 breakfast. Haui’s Life’s A Beach, (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8010 HUMUHUMUNUKUNUKUAPUA’A HAPPY HOUR

- Daily. Fifty-percent off domestic beers, wines by the glass and well drinks on the rocks. 5-6pm. Humuhumunukunukuapua’a, (3850 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-1234; wailearesortdining.com/humuhumu JAWZ FISH TACOS HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $5 Mar-

garitas, $1 off all beer from 3-6pm. On Sundays happy hour runs all day. Jawz Fish Tacos, (1279 S Kihei Rd.); 808-874-8226; jawzfishtacos.com JOE’S BAR & GRILL HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $3

Domestic drafts; $5 House red and white wines by the glass; $5 Wells; $6 Mai Tais; 20 percent off all pupus. 5:30-7pm Joe’s Bar & Grill, (131 Wailea Ike Pl., Kihei); (808) 875-7767; http:// bevgannonrestaurants.com/joes/ KAHALE’S HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $2.25 Domes-

tic Draft, $2.75 Premium Draft, $4 Premium Beer Bottle, $3.50 Wells and Mai Tais, $4.50 Jager. 10am-5:30pm. Kahale’s Beach Club, (Kihei Kalama Village, 26 Keala Pl., Kihei); 808-875-7711 KAMAOLE POOLSIDE CAFE HAPPY HOUR -

$5 House red and white wine, $6 Mai Tai’s, $6 Premiums, $6 Jameson. Happy hour also features $6 pupus, with a selection of the Mulligans Chicken Wings, Potato Tacos, Fried Calamari, Chicken Quesadilla, Mini Fish & Chips, and Gannon’s Cheeseburger & Fries. 3-6pm and after 10pm. Mulligan’s on the Blue, (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131; mulligansontheblue.com NICK’S FISHMARKET HAPPY HOUR - Daily.

When seated in the bar enjoy half off select drinks and pupus. 5-6:30pm. Nick’s Fishmarket, (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-879-7224 OCEANS BAR AND GRILL HAPPY HOUR - Daily.

$2.50 Mai Tais, $2.50 drafts (excluding Guinness, Cast Away IPA, and Dead Guy Ale). $1 off bottles, $2 off other cocktails, and $2 off Pupus. 3-6pm. Oceans Beach Bar & Grill, (1819 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-2414 PITA PARADISE WAILEA HAPPY HOUR - Daily.

$5 Makena Cocktails and select house wines by the glass, $3-$6 beers, $4-$8 appetizers. Available at the bar. 3-6pm. Pita Paradise Wailea, (34 Wailea Gateway Plaza); 808-879-7177 POLO BEACH GRILLE AND BAR AT THE FAIRMONT KEA LANI HAPPY HOUR - Daily. Half off

beers, house wines, and wells. Also available at the Luana Lounge and Ko. 3-5pm. Polo Beach Grille & Bar, (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-4100 SANSEI KIHEI KARAOKE NIGHT HAPPY HOUR - Every Thu, Fri & Sat. During Sansei’s

Daily. $3 Bud Light drafts, $4 Mai Tai, Blue Hawaii, Seabreeze, Ocean Water, house wines, and wells. 3-6pm. Kamaole Poolside Cafe, (2259 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6284; mauicoasthotel.com

popular Karaoke nights appetizers and sushi are fifty percent off, select draft beers are discounted. 10pm-1am Sansei Seafood Restaurant & Sushi Bar, Kihei, (Kihei Town Center, 1881 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-0004; sanseihawaii.com

KO HAPPY HOUR - Daily. Half off beers, house

SARENTO’S ON THE BEACH HAPPY HOUR

wines, and wells. Also available at Luana Lounge and Polo Grille & Bar. 3-5pm. Ko, (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-4100; fairmont.com/kealani KONO’S ON THE GREEN HAPPY HOUR - Daily.

$2.50 Domestics & $3.50 Imports; $3 Drafts; $4.50 Wells; $5 Select wines; Pupu menu available. Wednesday through Sunday get 50 percent off sushi until 6pm. 2-6pm Kono’s on the Green, (550 Lipoa Pkwy, Kihei); 808-6334220; http://konosonmaui.com/ KUMU BAR & GRILL HAPPY HOUR - Daily. Specials

include: $3 off tropical cocktails. $4 off draft beers, $5 glasses of wine. Also enjoy $10 daily bartenders choice cocktail. 3-6pm. Kumu Bar & Grill, (3700 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-874-7963; marriott.com LONGHI’S WAILEA EARLY HAPPY HOUR - Daily.

From 2-6pm enjoy $4 Drafts, $4 Bikini Blond, $5-8 wines, $7 Tropicals, $7 select martinis. Also enjoy a $6-10 tapas menu. From 9-11 pm enjoy $3.25 drafts, $3.75 wells, $4.50-10 wines as well as the tapas menu. Longhi’s Wailea, (The Shops at Wailea, 3750 Wailea Ala Nui); 808-891-8883; longhis.com LUANA LOUNGE HAPPY HOUR - Daily. Half off

beers, house wines, and wells. Also available at Polo Grille & Bar and Ko. 3-5pm. Luana Lounge, (4100 Wailea Alanui); 808-875-4100 MALA WAILEA HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $4 Kona Longboard draft, $5 white wine spritzer, $6 Bacardi Mai Tai, $6 Watermelon Cosmo, $8-9 pupu specials. 5-6pm. Mala Wailea, (3700 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-879-1922 MOLOKINI HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $5 Bud Light,

Bud, Bikini Blond. $6-7 select cocktails, $6-10 pupus. 5:30-6:30pm. Molokini Bar & Grille, (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888 MONKEYPOD KITCHEN EARLY HAPPY HOUR

- Daily. Daily happy hour featuring $8 Specialty Cocktails, $6 Ocean vodka drinks, $4.75 draft beers, $6 selected glass pours, $9 pizzas, and half off select appetizers. 3-5:30pm and 9-11pm. Monkeypod Kitchen, (10 Wailea Gateway Pl.); 808-891-2322; monkeypodkitchen.com MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S KIHEI HAPPY HOUR Daily. Enjoy a selection of $3-$4 beers, wells, and cocktails. 4-7pm. Moose McGillycuddy’s, Kihei, (2511 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-667-7758; mooserestaurantgroup.com MULLIGANS HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $2.50 Do-

mestics, $3 Local draft, $3.50 Imports, $4 Wells,

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- Daily. Half off drinks and appetizers. 4:306:30pm. Sarento’s On The Beach, (2980 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-7555; sarentosonthebeach.com SHARKY’S HAPPY HOUR - Mon-Fri. $4.00 top shelf, $3 imports, $3 wells, $2 domestics. Half off appetizers. Game tokens are 2 for one. 3-5:30pm. R.S. Sharky’s Family Restaurant, (41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei); 808-874-5115; sharkyshawaii.com SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE HAPPY HOUR - Dai-

ly. Everyday from 11am-6pm get $3 Bud Light draft, $3 Bud Light bottles, $4 Sauza margaritas on the rocks, Guinness pints, and Bloody Mary’s. On Mondays from 8pm-close get $4 Smokin Jager Shooters, $5 Jager Bombs and Cherry Bombs. Go on Tequila Tuesdays from 10pm-close to get $3 Corona and Corona Light, $3 Sauza shots, $4 Sauza margaritas, $5 Patron shots. Ladies Night Wednesdays feature $3 Bud Light draft and bottles, as well as $4 “Oh My Goodness” cocktails. Island Thursdays offer $3 Heineken and Heineken Light, $4 Sneaky Tikis, and $5 Blue Hawaiians. 11am South Shore Tiki Lounge, (Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei); 808874-6444; southshoretikilounge.com SPORTS PAGE EARLY HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $2.50 rails, $3 glasses of wine, $4 Stella Artois, IPA or Widmere. 3-7pm and after 10pm. Sports Page Grill & Bar, (2411 S. Kihei Rd); 808-879-0602 STELLA BLUES HAPPY HOUR - Daily. Enjoy live mu-

sic Su-Fri evenings. All week get $2 Domestics, $3 Imports, $4 Wells, $4 Wine, and $5 Mai Tai’s and Margaritas from 4-6pm. Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com

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Drafts; $4 Well Drinks; $6 Wines by the glass when seated in the bar and designated happy hour sections. Also get half off the Bar Menu. 3-6pm The Red Bar at Gannon’s, A Pacific View Restaurant, (Wailea Golf Club House, 100 Wailea Golf Club Drive, Wailea); 808-875-8080; http://gannonsrestaurant.com

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- Daily. $3 Mai Tais & Margaritas, $3 Drafts and wells. Half price appetizers and sushi.3-6 pm and 9-10pm Three’s Bar & Grill, (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133; threesbarandgrill.com

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in their lively dining room or outdoor courtyard. They specialize in Lilikoi Margaritas. 4-6pm. Cafe Des Amis, (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-6323 CAFE MAMBO HAPPY HOUR - Daily. Enjoy $3.50

beers (excl. Coconut Porter), $4.50 cocktails (excl. top shelf and mimosas). $10.95 Burger, beer, and fries combo. 3-6pm. Cafe Mambo, (30 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-8021; cafemambomaui.com CHARLEY’S HAPPY HOUR - Daily. From 3-6pm

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HANG LOOSE LOUNGE HAPPY HOUR - Daily. Get $3 domestics from 11-6pm, as well as a specially selected beer discount each week. Hang Loose Lounge, (333 Dairy Rd., Kahului); 808-877-6284 JB’S KITCHEN MILL STREET HAPPY HOUR - Daily. From 2-6 pm get $2.50 domestics and $3.50 imports. Becks is featured all day, every day at the price of $3. JB’s Kitchen, (1546 Mill St., Wailuku); 808-244-9616

COLLEEN’S HAPPY HOUR - Daily. From 3:30-

KAHILI RESTAURANT HAPPY HOUR - Daily.

5:30 pm get $1 off beer, wine, and cocktails. Starting at 11am, when you purchase a burger get $1 off draft beers. Purchase a pizza slice between 5:30-9:30 pm and get $1 off draft beer. Colleen’s, (810 Haiku Rd.); 808-575-9211

$3 Drafts, $3 Wells, $4.95-$12.50 pupus. 3-5pm. Kahili Restaurant, (2500 Honoapiilani Hwy, Waikapu); 808-242-6000; kahilirestaurant.com

ing Co. drafts for $3.50. 3-6pm. Hana Hou Cafe, (810 Haiku Rd.); 808-575-2661; hanahoucafe.com

HAPPY HOUR 3-7PM & 10PM-MIDNIGHT HT

Sat). $2.25 Amber Boch and Bud Light drafts, $2.75 Dos Equis draft, $3 Wells, $4.50 Original Margaritas. Also enjoy $2 tacos and $3 taquitos. 2-6pm. Fernando’s, (Queen Kaahumanu Center, Kahului); 808-871-5333; fernandosmaui.com

Enjoy $3 Wells, $3 Draft, $3 Domestic bottles, & $4 Organic house red and white wines. $3$6 pupu menu available during happy hour. $5 Bloody Marys starting at 8am on Football Sundays. Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon, (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-9453; charleyspaia. com

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KULA LODGE & RESTAURANT HAPPY HOUR Daily. $1 off Beer of the Month, $1 off house red and white wines, $5 Kula Breeze featuring Maui Platinum Rum, $15 Pizza of the Month. 3-5pm. Kula Lodge & Restaurant, (15200 Haleakala Hwy., Kula); 808-878-3773 MAMA’S FISH HOUSE - “We’re Always Happy”

HOURS - Daily. $6-$7 Beers; $12 and up wines by the glass; $12 Wells. Mama’s Fish House, (799 Poho Pl., Paia); 808-579-9764; http://mamasfishhouse.com MILAGROS HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $3 Kona Drafts and Sauza Margaritas when seated indoors. Also featured are daily blackboard specials for lunch and dinner. 1-6pm. Milagros, (3 Baldwin Ave, Paia); 808-579-8755; milagrosfoodcompany.com MOANA BAKERY & CAFE - Daily (except Sun &

Mon). $3 Corona’s & $4.50 drafts; $4 Reisling & $6 Malbec; $1 off Wells. Also enjoy a Happy Hour food menu with items ranging from $4-$8. 5-6:30pm Moana Bakery & Cafe, (71 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-9999 PANIOLO LOUNGE HAPPY HOUR - Fridays. $4

domestics, $5 imports, $5 wells. 5-6pm. Paniolo Lounge, (Travaasa Hana Resort, 5031 Hana Hwy.); 808-248-8211 POLLI’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT HAPPY HOUR - Mon-Fri. Drink specials include $4

house Margaritas, $3 Coors, Coors lights, Miller Lights, and Miller High Lifes, $3.25 wells. Food specials: $2.50 Tacos, $4.50 Half order of wings, $2.50 Nachos, $5.00 Big nachos. 4-5:30pm Polli’s Mexican Restaurant, (1202 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-7808; pollismexicanrestaurant.com STOPWATCH HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $1 off

domestics, draft mugs and well drinks. $1 off select wine by the glass. $2 off pupus on Mondays starting at 3pm for Monday Night Football. 3-6:30pm. Stopwatch Sports Bar & Grill, (1127 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-1380

CENTRAL MAUI AK’S CAFE HAPPY HOUR - Mon-Fri. $2 drafts,

$3 bottles, $4 wine, $5 premiums and 20% off food. 5-7pm. AK’s Cafe, (1237 L. Main St., Wailuku); 808-244-8774; akscafe.com BISTRO CASANOVA HAPPY HOUR - Mon-Sat. $5 half carafes of Chianti and Pinot Grigio, $5 Mojito and Margarita half carafes. Available Mon-Fri 4-6pm and all day Saturday. Bistro Casanova, (33 Lono Ave., Kahului); 808-8733650; bistrocasanova.com BUZZ’S WHARF HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $3 Do-

mestic bottles, $4 Wells, $5 Margs on the rocks, $5 House wines by the glass, 30 percent off select pupus. 3-5pm Buzz’s Wharf, (390 Maalaea Boat Harbor Rd., Maalaea); 808-244-5426; http:// buzzswharf.com

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE HAPPY HOUR - Mon-Fri. Kahului’s hot spot for sports and entertainment has a 4-7pm happy hour featuring 50 cents off all draft beers plus $3.75 well drinks. Tuesdays featuring Taco Tuesdays 3pm - close $2 Tacos and $3.50 Mexican beers and margaritas. Thursdays featuring Thirsty Thursdays 6pm - close $1 domestic draughts, $2 pints, $2 well drinks. Also, get a 10” pizza for only $8.99 during happy hour. From 3-5pm enjoy $5 california, tempura, and ahi poke rolls. Kahului Ale House, (355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului); 808877-9001; kahuluialehouse.com KOHO HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $3 Coors Light

draft, $3.75 Longboards and Heineken, $4 wells, $4.50 on select wines by the glass. 3-6pm Koho Grill & Bar, (275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-5588 L’AVA SPORTS BAR & KARAOKE HAPPY HOUR - Daily. Enjoy $2 drafts, $2.50 domes-

tics, and $4 imports. 2-6pm. L’ava Sports Bar & Karaoke, (1088 L. Main St., Wailuku); 808-244-4888 LAS PINATAS HAPPY HOUR - Daily. Buy one beer, get one beer half off. $1 off quesadillas and nachos, chips and salsa are half-off. 3-6pm. Las Piñatas, (395 Dairy Rd., Kahului); 808-877-8707 MAALAEA WATERFRONT RESTAURANT HAPPY HOUR - Daily. Half off drafts, wells, wines by

the glass, and select tropicals. Enjoy a $6-$8 pupu menu during happy hour. Prices valid only when seated in the bar. 2-6pm. Maalaea Waterfront Restaurant, (300 Maalaea Rd.); 808-2449028 MAUI ARTS & CULTURAL CENTER HAPPIEST HOURS - Tue, Oct 9. While attending events at the

MACC, enjoy many low prices offered at their bar. $4-$5 Drafts and bottles; $6.50-$8 Wines by the glass; $6 Wells, $7 Premiums, and $8 Top Tiers. The bar opens 2 hours before events begin. Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787 PORTO HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $3 Maui Brewing

Co beers, $6 select wines, $6 appetizers, $7 small pizzas. 3:30-5:30pm Porto, (300 Maalaea Rd.); 808-865-8337; portomaui.com STEEL HORSE SALOON HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $1 off all drinks during happy hour, and enjoy $2 Draft Beer of the Month as well as $3 Shot Special all day long. Free pupus are offered all day, every day. 10am-6pm. Steel Horse Saloon, (1234 L. Main St., Wailuku); 808-243-2206 TIFFANY’S HAPPY HOUR - Daily. $2 drafts, $3 bottled domestics, $4.50 bottles imports, $4.50 well cocktails. 2-6pm. Tiffany’s Bar & Grill, (1424 L. Main St., Wailuku); 808-2490052; tiffanysmaui.com WATERCRESS HAPPY HOUR - Daily. From 11am6pm enjoy $2.50 domestics and $3 Becks. After 6pm get $3 domestics. Also, you can get $2 specialty shots starting at 11am going all day. Watercress, (Waiehu Beach Center, 270 Waiehu Beach Rd., Wailuku); 808-243-9351


Picks

BY MARINA SATOAFAIGA @sandtothecity

THURSDAY, OCT. 11 OBAKE TALES – In the spirit of Halloween, local playwright, slam poet and musician Pat Masum moto will present “Obake Tales” this coming Thursda The Japanese folklore follows ghost stories that day. are enhanced by Masumoto’s performance and vocal effec Come experience true chicken skin for a time effects. of gre great storytelling. Free. 6:30pm. Wailuku Public Library (251 High St., Wailuku); 808-243-5766.

POKE & SAUVIGNON BLANC TASTING – Makena Beach and Golf Resort’s Poke & Sauvignon Blanc event is happening this Thursday. It will highlight one of Hawaii’s staple foods: poke. The evening will feature Patrick Okubo, one of the world’s youngest master sommeliers and Executive Chef Marc McDowell. As the second youngest sommelier in the nation, Okubo is a Master Sommelier with the Court of Master Sommeliers, a Certified Wine Educator (CWE) and Certified Specialist of Spirits (CSS). With formal education from the Culinary Institute of America, Hyde Park, New York, McDowell specializes in a fusion of exotic herbs and spices with fresh Hawaiian ingredients to create unique dishes. Together, they will create pairings complementary to the palette. Be sure to reserve your spot. $35. 6pm-7pm. Makena Beach & Golf Resort (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-874-1111; makenaresortmaui.com.

FRIDAY, OCT. 12 PIANIST HAOCHEN ZHANG – With roots in Shanghai, Haochen Zhang’s childhood involved many piano competitions and recitals, and more than a few wins. He moved to the U.S. in 2005 to attend Curtis Institute of Music and to study under Gary Graffman. Recipient of the prestigious Nance Lee and Perry R. Bass Gold Medal at the Van Cliburn International Competition, Zhang was the youngest and first Chinese competitor to receive such an award. At the age of 22, Zhang is still serenading audiences internationally at places like Carnegie Hall and with the Philadelphia Orchestra, London Philharmonic Orchestra, the Shanghai Symphony Orchestra and the New York Youth Symphony. $12, $30, $40. 7:30pm. Castle Theater, MACC (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org.

SECOND FRIDAY LAHAINA TOWN PARTY – Lahaina’s going pink in honor of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month for Second Friday. Join in for a night packed with Lahaina life. The Harley Owners Group’s annual state rally will begin at Second Friday and conclude at Fleetwood’s on Front St. for a BBQ. Catch Ulalena’s opening blessing performance (6pm) across from Hard Rock, live Hawaiian music and Awa Bar (5pm-9pm), live jazz at Longhi’s (7pm-10pm) and live music at Cool Cat Café with Johnny Ringo (7:30-10pm). Want to take in Lahaina’s History? Lahaina Restoration Foundation’s Ha`ina Hou! (Let the Story be Told!) will be held at the Baldwin Home and Wo Hing Museum on Front Street. Are you artsy? The Peter Lik Gallery will feature DJ Scotty D playing, special promotions on art and wine and light pupus. Also, Maui Hands will serve refreshments (4:30pm7:30pm) and Lahaina Galleries will serve wine (5pm-10pm.) 6-9pm. Front Street, Lahaina (between Lahainaluna Road and Dickenson Street); MauiFridays.com.

FRIDAY, OCT. 12 HUI HOLOMUA BUSINESS FEST – Maui Native Hawaiian Chamber of Commerce presents the sixth annual Hui Holomua Business Fest. It’s a day of workshops and networking with Hawaii’s top industrial, scientific, commercial and political leaders all while practicing/preserving Hawaiian culture in business. The day will begin with a ceremonial arrival of the Ko’i, a symbol of commerce and work ethic. The Ko’i was once used to hollow canoes, build homes and make weapons. The day will include breakfast, lunch and pupus. Organizers ask that you reserve a spot online. $30. 6am-5:45pm. Grand Wailea Resort & Spa. (3850 Wailea Alanui Dr.)

DOC TITANIUM HOUSE OF HORRORS COMEDY SHOW – The outrageous and adult humorr of dy’s Doc Titanium will be making a call on Stella Blues. The good doctor headlines Power Up Comedy’s d for House of Horror Halloween comedy show. During Power Up Comedy’s 4/20 show, Doc opened Chino LaForge, Don Barnhart and Greg Wilson. Known for his twisted and often taboo topics, he often ake leaves the crowd gasping. No appointment needed, but please remember that Doc does not make house calls. $7 Online, $10 at the door, $5 if you come in costume. 10pm. Stella Blues (1279 S Kihei Rd # 201); 808-874-3779; powerupcomedy.com; stellablues.com.

SATURDAY, OCT. 13 PAULA FUGA – Paula Fuga, Mike Love and Same Ites will once again serenade us, Hawaiian style, at the Stella Supper Club. Fuga has toured with Jack Johnson and attributes her initial dive into a solo act to Johnson’s encouragement. Fuga’s rough Oahu upbringing has inspired and encouraged many to simply “be good” and keep the faith, and her undying talent continues to charm and wow audiences. Don’t miss out on this acoustic awe. Dinner and show: 6pm, $60. Show only: 7:30pm, $30. Stella Blues (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com.

FREE MAUI NUI BOTANICAL GARDENS TOUR – Come out for a free guided tour of the Maui Nui Botanical Gardens. Partnering with County of Maui Department of Water Supply, Office of Economic Development and the Parks and Recreation Department, Maui Nui Botanical Gardens is dedicated to the preservation of our island’s native plants. Local cultural practitioners are available to teach visitors about MNBG’s efforts and tools to carry the practice outside of MNBG’s walls. The tour will begin at noon sharp so be sure to arrive early. It will conclude with a social time where visitors can find out about future conservation efforts. Donations are welcomed. Free. 12pm. Maui Nui Botanical Gardens (150 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului); 808-249-2798; mnbg.org.

SATURDAY, SA AT TU URD OCT. 13 KEPANIWAI GARDENS CLEAN-UP – Established in the mid 1950s, the Kepaniwai Park & Heritage Gardens showcases Maui’s diverse heritage with ethnic houses and representing the Hawaiian, Portuguese, Japanese, Caucasian and Filipino cultures. In 1994, a community of volunteers completely restored the gardens to its original beauty and to this day keep it up with annual clean-ups. Now you can join the Japanese Cultural Society of Maui in an annual clean-up of the Japanese Gardens. Volunteers are asked to bring garden tools, trash bags and portable chairs. Lunch and water will be served concluding the clean up. Please RSVP if you are interested. Free. 9:30am-11:30am. Japanese Gardens at the Kepaniwai Park & Heritage Gardens (Highway 32, Iao Valley); 808-250-9714.

WALK TO END ALZHEIMER’S – Calling all to come out and Walk to End Alzheimers this Saturday. The walk is one of hundreds organized across the nation to recognize and one day cure the devastating disease. The event also allows participants to unite and further shed light on how the disease affects their own communities. Join fellow Mauians on Saturday and walk to win. Registration starts at 6:30am and the walk starts at 7am. Free. Queen Ka’ahumanu Center (275 W. Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-242-8636; Lynsey.Capone@alz.org.

SUNDAY, OCT. 14 MAUI ‘UKULELE FESTIVAL – Better start tightening those strings, because it’s time for the Maui ‘Ukulele Festival. Enjoy an afternoon of island music celebrating Hawaii’s beloved instrument. Renowned ‘ukulele teacher and advocate Roy Sakuma will host the evening, which will display some of Hawaii’s popular “‘uke” musicians. The line up includes Seabury Hall Hawaiian Ensemble, Kalama School Intermediate ‘Ukulele Band, Kamakakehau Fernandez, Ohta-san with Nando Suan, The Hula Honeys, The Coconuts, J Town Hui and more. Food and crafts will be available for purchase. Free. 1pm-6pm. Pavillion/Amphitheater, MACC. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787; mauiarts.org.

TUESDAY, OCT. 16

PINEAPPLE GRILL OKTOBERFEST – October is the only month of the year when drinking beer takes on the status of cultural celebration. Pineapple Grill will be kicking off their first annual Oktoberfest party along with the literal kick-off of the Packers vs. Texans game. Following the German tradition of Oktoberfest, there will be lots of beer and meat and a really big television. For $25, there will be an all-you-can-eat sausage station featuring kielbasa, weisswurst (veal and herbs), chicken-apple sausage, Portugese wurst and, of course, bratwurst. There will also be pineapple coleslaw, Caraway potato salad, fries and onion rings. Maui Brewing Company’s Beer Garden will feature their specialty Oktoberfest Beer Hana Hou Helles Bock, which is sadly not included in the price of the buffet. $25. 3pm. Pineapple Grill (200 Kapalua Dr.); pineapplekapalua.com. -Oliver de Silva (@odesilva)

WEDNESDAY, OCT. 17 TITA TELLS SPOOKY STORIES – Kathy Collins, aka “Tita,” comes to the Kihei Public Library for an evening of spooky storytelling on Tuesday. In the spirit of Halloween, Tita will share stories inspired by Hawaiian legends and other cultural backgrounds. So gather the keiki and come over for an hour of suspense and intrigue. 12+. Free. 6:30-7:30pm. Kihei Public Library (35 Waimahaihai St., Kihei); 808-8756833, www.librarieshawaii.org.

MASTERS OF HAWAIIAN MUSIC ANNIVERSARY SHOW – The Masters of Hawaiian Music slack key show is turning nine. In the spirit of celebration, hele mai (come down) for a special expanded show on Wednesday, Oct. 17. There will be Hawaii legend Martin Pahinui, George Kahumanu & his regulars (Da Ukulele Boyz and Sterling Seaton), Richard Hoopi’i, Derick Sebastian and hula by Wainani Kealoha. The show has had four Grammy Awards for compilation CDs all recorded there live, two additional Grammy nominations (Spirit, Wao Akua) and a Hawaii Music Award (Masters 3). Enjoy cake and refreshments while relaxing in an evening of sweet sounds. Seating is limited so be sure to reserve a spot. $37.99 -$78.35. Doors: 6:45. Show: 7:30-9:45pm. Napili Kai Beach Resort (5900 L. Honoapiilani Rd., Napili); 808-669-3858; SlackKeyShow.com.

OCTOBER 11, 2012 25


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Film

Sinister Why couldn’t this ‘found footage’ picture have remained lost? BY BARRY WURST II

SINISTER ★★★★★ Rated R / 110 Min.

E

than Hawke stars as a true crime writer who has just knowingly moved his family into a house where four people died. The reason why this mysterious but ghastly incident occurred will provide him with the ingredients of a hit bestseller, or so he hopes. Then there’s the box full of old Super 8, reel to reel movies he finds in the attic: who put them there, who made them and what’s on them? Instead of researching the case online or at the library, Hawke spends hours going through each home movie, which contains one gruesome murder scene after another. It was around this point that the movie lost me completely. I love a good horror movie, don’t mind being scared and, come October, I watch scores of monster and scary movies. Yet, I’m not a hardcore horror movie fan,

meaning I don’t like or watch movies where the emphasis is on torture, human suffering or mutilation for the sake of a cheap, sleazy thrill. I love classic horror films, never miss the latest from Freddy, Jason or Michael and am a big fan of recent classics like Let the Right One In, Monsters and Insidious. On the other hand, I hate the Saw films, refuse to watch garbage like Faces of Death and don’t go out of my way to see movies horror fans describe with glee as “really wrong.” This latter description is in line with the fan base for Sinister, a well made horror film that is more sick than scary. It’s a messy blend of haunted house tale, “found footage” gimmick and torture snuff (some call it “torture porn,” but I refuse, as the word “porn” makes it sound appealing to some). While online horror fans have already declared it a new classic, the movie reminds me most of the eerie but stupid remake of The Amityville Horror. Like The Ring, (a better film with a similar emphasis on the allure of discovered footage), the mood is so

intense that you may overlook the film’s inherent absurdity. The Look! A sinister clue! movies within the movie are grotesquely actress cast as Hawke’s daughter is staged murder scenes but the rest is photographed and made up to look so pretty bad in goofier ways. spooky, it’s obvious from the start that There are lots of scenes with kids something is up with her. playing ghosts and wearing what looks Like the recent Orphan, this goes beyond like bad Halloween makeup. The main The Bad Seed and Pet Sematary in using threat is a spirit named Mr. Boogie, who children in dubious, tasteless ways. Like all sounds more like a dance buddy of Disco bad horror movies, Sinister tries too hard to Stu. Boogie may spawn a successful spinshock and relies as much on loud, sudden off mask but the character, who resembles noises as it does icky imagery. an overly made up Alice Cooper, barely The dumbest touch comes near the end, does anything and isn’t that interesting. when Mr. Boogie gives Hawke a new batch Hawke is quite good, despite the of films, which actually carry the labels exceedingly ridiculous nature of his “with extended endings,” as though they character. The part requires him to have were a special edition DVDs. Perhaps in the obligatory fights with his wife, look inevitable sequel Mr. Boogie will also propetrified and maintain his dignity while vide his own director’s commentary. ■ reciting poorly written dialogue. Vincent D’Onofrio is wasted as a spiritual To share or save this article, type: expert who’s only seen on Skype in mt.hy.pr/1617f two exposition-heavy scenes and the 4X BEST OF MAUI WINNER SERVING MAUI FOR 13 YEARS

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Film

Showtimes

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT BY JENNA SCHAMBER

FRONT STREET THEATER 900 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: M-F until 6:30pm, Sa-Su until 3:30pm, Discount Tue) (NOTE: There is no show schedule after Thurs., Oct. 11 because Front Street Theater’s owners recently announced that it will be closing.)

End of Watch-R-THU (3:50), 7:00, 9:30. Hotel Transylvania-PG-THU (3:35), 6:45, 9;15. Looper-R-THU (4:00), 6:50, 9:30. Won’t Back Down-PG-THU (3:45), 6:30, 9:15.

FRI-SAT 11:15, 1:30, 3:25, 5:30, 7:30, 9:30. MONWED 1:10, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 9:20. Looper-R-THU 1:00, 3:30, 6:00, 8:30. FRISUN 11:30, 2:00, 4:30, 7:05, 9:50. MON-WED 1:15, 3:45, 6:30, 9:05. Taken 2-PG13-THU 1:20, 3:40, 5:50, 8:15. FRISUN 11:05, 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8:00, 10:05. MONWED 1:00, 3:00, 5:00, 7:00, 9:10. Trouble With The Curve-PG13-THU 6:30, 8:50. Won’t Back Down-PG-THU 1:15, 3:50.

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm)

Arbitrage-R-THU 11:05, 1:45, 4:25, 7:10. FRI-SAT 7:00, 9:30. SUN-WED 7:00. Argo-R-FRI-SAT 11:00, 12:00, 1:40, 2:40, 4:20, 5:20, 7:00, 8:00, 9:40, 10:40. SUN-WED 11:00, 12:00, 1:40, 2:40, 4:20, 5:20, 7:00, 8:00. Butter-R-THU 10:45, 12:55, 3:05, 5:15, 7:25. Hotel Transylvania-PG-THU 10:55, 1:05, 3:15, 5:25, 7:35. FRI-SAT 10:55, 1:05, 3:15, 5:25, 7:35, 9:45. SUN-WED 10:55, 1:05, 3:15, 5:25, 7:35. Sinister-R-FRI-SAT 11:50, 2:15, 4:40, 7:05, 9:30. SUN-WED 11:50, 2:15, 4:40, 7:05. Step Up Revolution 2D-PG13-THU 12:00, 2:20, 4:40. FRI-WED 11:00, 1:15. The Bourne Legacy-PG13-THU 11:00, 1:40, 4:20, 7:05. FRI-WED 3:40. The Master-R-THU 10:45, 1:40, 4:35, 7:30. FRISAT 10:45, 1:40, 4:35, 7:30, 10:20. SUN-WED 10:45, 1:40, 4:35, 7:30. Total Recall-PG13-THU 7:00.

KUKUI MALL 1819 S. Kihei Rd., 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm)

Argo-R-FRI-SUN 11:00, 1:45, 4:15, 7:00, 9:45. MON-WED 1:30, 4:05, 6:45, 9:25. Frankenweenie-PG-THU 1:30, 3:25, 5:30, 7:30.

NEW THIS WEEK ARGO - R - Thriller - A CIA guy concocts a

risky plan to save six Americans during the 1979 Iranian Revolution. Ben Affleck stars and directs. 120 min. ATLAS SHRUGGED PART 2 - NYR - Fantasy

- The global economy is crashing, and only Ayn Rand can save us! 112 min. HERE COMES THE BOOM - NYR - Action/

Comedy - A high school biology teachers raises money for his school’s extracurricular activities by becoming an MMA fighter. 105 min. THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER -

PG13 - Drama/Romance - Two seniors help a shy freshman grow up. 103 min. SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS - R - Comedy/

Crime - A struggling screenwriter gets involved with the mob after his pals kidnap a Shih Tzu. Don’t ask. 109 min. SINISTER - R - Horror - Another found footage ghost picture, this time starring Ethan Hawke. See this week’s film critique. 110 min.

NOW PLAYING ARBITRAGE - R - Drama - Richard Gere stars

Maui Mall, Kahului, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm)

Atlas Shrugged Part 2-Unrated-FRI (1:50, 4:35), 7:10, 9:50. SAT-SUN (1:50), 4:35, 7:10, 9:50. MONWED (1:50, 4:35), 7:10, 9:50. End of Watch-R-THU (2:25, 4:55), 7:30, 10:00. FRI (1:35, 4:10), 7:05, 9:40. SAT-SUN (1:35), 4:10, 7:05, 9:40. MON-WED (1:35, 4:10), 7:05, 9:40. Finding Nemo 3D-G-THU (1:40, 4:05). Frankenweenie-PG-THU (1:45, 4:00), 6:15, 8:30. FRI (11:40, 1:45, 4:00), 6:15, 8:30. SATSUN (11:40, 1:45), 4:00, 6:15, 8:30. MONWED (1:45, 4:00), 6:15, 8:30. Frankenweenie 3D-PG-THU (2:15, 4:25), 6:45, 9:00. FRI (12:00, 2:15, 4:25), 6:45, 9:00. SATSUN (12:00, 2:15), 4:25, 6:45, 9:00. MON-WED (2:15, 4:25), 6:45, 9:00. Here Comes The Boom-Unrated-FRI (11:30, 2:00, 4:30), 7:00, 9:30. SAT-SUN (11:30, 2:00), 5:00, 7:30, 9:30. MON-WED (2:00, 4:30), 7:00, 9:30. House At The End Of The Street-PG13-THU (2:10, 4:45), 7:05, 9:25. FRI (4:15), 9:25. SAT-SUN 4:15, 9:25. MON-WED (4:15), 9:25. Looper-R-THU (1:35, 3:30, 4:15), 6:30, 7:00, 9:15, 9:40. FRI (12:45, 3:30), 6:30, 9:15. SAT-SUN (12:45), 3:30, 6:30, 9:15. MON-WED (3:30), 6:30, 9:15. Pitch Perfect-PG13-THU (2:05, 4:40), 7:15, 9:55. FRI (11:35, 2:05, 4:40), 7;15, 9:55. SATSUN (11:35, 2:05), 4:40, 7:15, 9:55. MON-WED (2:05, 4:40), 7:15, 9:55.

as a hedge fund manager who messes up and then needs to ask someone for help. 100 min. THE BOURNE LEGACY - PG13 - Action/

Adventure - In this Matt Damon-less incarnation of Robert Ludlum’s spy novel, Jeremy Renner plays American super-assassin Aaron Cross. 135 min. END OF WATCH - R - Drama - Pieced to-

gether with “found footage,” this movie tells the story of two good LA cops who happen upon a heinous crime. 109 min. FRANKENWEENIE - PG - Comedy/Animation - Tim Burton directs this imaginative cartoon about a scientist who brings his dead dog back to life. 87 min. HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA - PG - Animation

- Dracula is now operating a resort for monsters, but then some meddling boy shows up and falls for his daughter. Typical. 91 min. HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET -

PG13 - Horror - A mom and daughter move next door to some kid whose sister murdered her parents. Hilarity ensues. 101 min.

Resident Evil 5: Retribution 3D-R-THU 6:40, 9:05. Seven Psychopaths-R-FRI (11:50, 2:30, 5:00), 7:30, 10:00. SAT-SUN (11:50, 2:30), 5:00, 7:30, 10:00. MON-WED (2:30, 5:00), 7:30, 10:00. Taken 2-PG13-THU (2:20, 2:45, 4:35, 5:05), 6:55, 7:25, 9:20, 9:45. FRI (11:55, 12:25, 2:20, 2:45, 4:45, 5:05), 6:55, 7:25, 9:20, 9:45. SATSUN (11:55, 12:25, 2:20, 2:45), 4:45, 5:05, 6:55, 7:25, 9:20, 9:45. MON-WED (2:20, 2:45, 4:45, 5:05), 6:55, 7:25, 9:20, 9:45. The Odd Life of Timothy Green-PG-THU (1:30, 3:55). The Perks of Being A Wallflower-PG13-FRI (1:40, 4:20), 6:50, 9:10. SAT-SUN (1:40), 4:20, 6:50, 9:10. MON-WED (1:40, 4:35), 7:10, 9:50. Trouble With The Curve-PG13-THU (2:00, 4:30), 7:10, 9:50. FRI (1:30), 6:40. SAT-SUN (1:30), 6:40. MON-WED (1:30), 6:40. Won’t Back Down-PG-THU 6:20, 8:55.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day)

Argo-R-FRI (1:30, 4:00), 6:45, 9:30. SATSUN (1:30), 4:00, 6:45, 9:30. MON-WED (1:30, 4:00), 6:45, 9:30. Frankenweenie-PG-THU (1:30, 4:00), 6:30, 9:00. FRI (1:30, 4:00), 6:30, 9:00. SAT-SUN (1:30), 4:00, 6:30, 9:00. MON-WED (1:30, 4:00), 6:30, 9:00. Taken 2-PG13-THU (2:00, 4:30), 7:00, 9:30. FRI (2:00, 4:30), 7:00, 9:30. SAT-SUN (2:00), 4:30, 7:00, 9:30. MON-WED (2:00, 4:30), 7:00, 9:30. Trouble With The Curve-PG13-THU (1:45, 4:20), 7:00, 9:30.

Argo opens this week

work. Anyway, you get the idea. 118 min.

of butter carving. 91 min.

THE MASTER - R - Drama - Paul Thomas Anderson wrote and directed this tale of an unsettled naval veteran who meets the charismatic leader of The Cause, which bears remarkable resemblance to Scientology. 137 min.

FINDING NEMO 3D - G - Animation - When

PITCH PERFECT - PG13 - Music/Comedy -

Comedy/Drama - A childless couple dreams of having a baby, and then one day lightning strikes their backyard and out pops a kid with tree branches growing out of his legs. Odd is right. 125 min.

Beca joins her college’s all-girl singing group and then funny stuff happens, I guess. 112 min. STEP UP: REVOLUTION - PG13 - Drama Emily moves to Miami to become a professional dancer, then totally falls for dance crew leader Sean who lives in a neighborhood Emily’s land developer pop may demolish. 97 min TAKEN 2 - PG13 - Action/Crime - Last time exCIA guy Mills (Liam Neeson) killed his daughter’s kidnapper. Now that kidnapper’s father has kidnapped Mills and his wife. Sigh. 91 min. TROUBLE WITH THE CURVE - PG13 - Drama

- Clint Eastwood plays an ailing baseball scout who takes his daughter (and perhaps a dining room set) on a final recruiting outing. 111 min.

LOOPER - R - Sci-Fi/Thriller - Joseph Gor-

LAST CHANCE

don-Levitt plays a mob enforcer who uses a time-machine, but then one day his bosses want him to erase his future self in the past, or his past self in the future. Wait, that won’t

BUTTER - R - Comedy - Jennifer Garner stars in this humorous story of an adopted girl in Iowa who proves gifted at the art

a little clown fish named Nemo is captured, his dad Marlin (Albert Brooks) and Dory (Ellen DeGeneres) go looking for him. 100 min. THE ODD LIFE OF TIMOTHY GREEN - PG -

RESIDENT EVIL 5: RETRIBUTION - R - Action/

Horror - Alice (Milla Jovovich) is still fighting zombies and evil corporations. 95 min. TOTAL RECALL - PG13 - Action/Sci-Fi This remake of the Arnold Schwarzenegger flick, which was based on a Philip K. Dick story, concerns one Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), who tries to take a mental vacation, only to wake up and find everything he knows about himself may have been a lie. 118 min. WON’T BACK DOWN - PG - Drama/Fantasy

- Two mothers (Viola Davis, Maggie Gyllenhaal) take on education bureaucrats while attempting to fix a broken inner city school. Something tells me this picture makes Looper look believable. 121 min.

OCTOBER 11, 2012 29


Calendar

Da Kine Calendar BY JENNA SCHAMBER

BIG SHOWS HAOCHEN ZHANG, PIANO - Fri, Oct 12. See picks on p. 17 for info. $12, $30, $40. 7:30pm Castle Theater, MACC, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org DOC TITANIUM HOUSE OF HORRORS COMEDY SHOW - Fri, Oct 12. See picks on p. 17 for info. 10pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779; powerupcomedy.com SANDWICH ISLAND BASS & FRIENDS - Fri, Oct 12. A groovy and bass heavy DJ set from the Maui-based DJ/production trio S.I.B., with opening sets by DJ JayP and DJ Turtle. $10. 10pm Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon, (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085; charleysmaui.com SUPPER CLUB WITH PAULA FUGA, MIKE LOVE AND SAM ITES - Sat, Oct 13. See picks on p. 17 for info. $30 show, $60 dinner & show. 6-9pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com NAAU AND GO GET EM - Sat, Oct 13. A night of high energy music with Maui’s rockin’ new band Naau, featuring Gerit Williams, Ron Shadian, Christopher Nevins and Dave Kresy. Also performing is Lahaina’s very own indie/ electro rock band, Go Get Em. A portion of the proceeds go to the Kihei Youth Center and Pa’ia Youth & Cultural Center. $10 cover. 9:30pm Oceans Beach Bar & Grill, (1819 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-2414 THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE - Sat, Oct 13. Take a journey with live electronic composer David Block as he brings his debut project to Maui. Opening sets by Kiran Notez (LA) and Sweet Beets. $10 presale, $15 at door. 10pm Casanova, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220; casanovamaui.com MAUI ‘UKULELE FESTIVAL - Sun, Oct 14. See picks on p. 17 for info. Free admission. 1-6pm A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org SLACK KEY SHOW – MASTERS OF HAWAIIAN MUSIC NINTH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION - Wed, Oct 17. See picks on p. 17 for info. Doors at 6:45pm. $37.99-78.35; Dinner/show package available with Sea House Restaurant (adjacent to the concert hall; 5:30pm seating). 7:30-9:30pm Napili Kai Beach Resort Aloha Pavilion, (5900 L. Honoapiilani Rd.); 808669-3858; slackkey.com / napilikai.com

FRIDAY TOWN PARTIES LAHAINA GOES PINK FOR SECOND FRIDAY - See picks on p. 17 for info. 6-9pm. Front Street, Lahaina (between Lahainaluna Road and Dickenson Street); MauiFridays.com. LIVE MUSIC - Hula Rock: Live Hawaiian music 5-9pm, The Shops at 505 Front Street: Music by Gary Larson, Jazz in The Courtyard, Pioneer Inn: Wilmont Kahaiali‘i 6-9pm, Kimo’s: Live music TBA, Moose McGillycuddy’s Lahaina: Visibly Shaken 9:30-11:30pm, Longhi’s: Live jazz overlooking the water 7-10pm, Hard Rock Cafe: Live music with Evan Shulman 6-9pm, The Wharf Cinema Center: Live music on center stage 5-7pm, Captain Jack’s Island Grill: Bob Jones and the Drive 8-10:30pm, Cool Cat Cafe: Live music overlooking the Banyan Tree - Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm, Concert in the Park at Campbell Park: Live Hawaiian Music, Al Nip, Lance Tokushima & Geri Valdriz, Mika‘ele Villaren with the hula stylings of Kathy Tokushima and Hauanu Gushiken-Nip 5-7:30pm.

30 OCTOBER 11, 2012

ART NIGHT EVENTS - Peter Lik Gallery: DJ Scotty D, special promotions on art, hosted wine and light pupu 6-9pm, Maui Hands: Refreshments 4:30-7:30pm, Lahaina Galleries: Serving wine from 5-10pm, Village Gallery: Refreshments will be served, Images Fine Art Gallery: Complimentary wine and live music, Longhi’s Artisan Fair: Showcasing Made on Maui artwork, jewelry, photography, clothing and more 5-10 pm, The Passman Gallery: Pupu, drinks and live music from 6-9 pm, Sargents Fine Art: Curt Lee, and Martin Lawrence Gallery: DJ Ron 7-10 pm.

STAGE ‘ULALENA - Mon-Fri. A nonpareil portal to Hawaiian history and kanaka maoli lore; what ‘Ulalena accomplishes–five night a weeks for 12 years strong–is without a doubt the most powerful cultural education available for our visitors (and ourselves). Starting at $24.50 keiki / $59.50 adults. Dinner and VIP packages available. 6:30pm Maui Theatre, (Old Lahaina Center, 878 Front St.); 1-877-688-4800; mauitheatre.com DOUBT: A PARABLE - Thu, Oct 11 through Sun, Oct 14. Set in a Bronx Catholic school in the 1960s, Doubt tells a story of an oldschool nun who is determined to destroy a popular priest. Directed by Kristi Scott and produced by Jonathan Lehman. Mature Audience. Thu-Sat at 7:30pm and Sun at 3pm. $20 (Kamaaina Nights: Oct. 4 and Oct. 11, $15). ProArts Playhouse, (1280 S. Kihei Rd.); 808463-6550; proartspacific.com RUN FOR YOUR WIFE - Fri, Oct 12 through Sun, Oct 14. Maui OnStage presents London’s longest running comedy, Run For Your Wife, by Ray Cooney and directed by Dale Button. Fri and Sat at 7:30pm and Sun at 3pm. $1528. Iao Theater, (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-242-6969; mauionstage.com

FOODIE POKE & SAUVIGNON BLANC TASTING See picks on p. 17 for info. $35. 6-7pm Makena Beach & Golf Resort, (5400 Makena Alanui); 808874-1111; makenaresortmaui.com. BRIGIT & BERNARD’S OKTOBERFEST Fri, Oct. 12 and Sat, Oct. 13. Maui’s original 15th annual event includes an all-you-can-eat buffet featuring Bavarian style dishes along with a wide selection of Oktoberfest beer, the oompah band Dorfmisikanten, and a costume contest with great prizes. $38 buffet. 6-10pm Brigit & Bernard’s Garden Cafe, (335 Ho’ohana St., Kahului); 808-877-6000; mauihawaii.org/restaurants/brigit-bernards PINEAPPLE GRILL’S 1ST ANNUAL OKTOBERFEST CELEBRATION - Sun, Oct 14. See picks on p. 17 for info. $25 per person (beer and other beverages not included); reservations required. 3pm Pineapple Grill, (200 Kapalua Dr.); 808-669-9600; pineapplekapalua.com GIRLS NIGHT OUT - Tue, Oct 16. You know, ‘cause girls just wanna have fun. This four-course fondue extravaganza features a martini bar, trunk shows and the chance to win lots of goodies. What are you waiting for? This night is a blast. Reservations recommended. $35 per person. 5-9pm The Melting Pot, (325 Keawe St., Ste. A202, Lahaina); 808-661-6181; meltingpot.com

TICKETS ON SALE SLACK KEY MASTERS WITH MARTIN PAHINUI - Thu, Oct 18. Gifted vocalist Mar-

tin Pahinui shares his aloha for the traditional sound with classic tunes full of slack key and steel guitar. $25/standard, $45/VIP with talkstory session at 6:30 pm. 7:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 8082427469; mauiarts.org SUPPER CLUB WITH HAPA - Fri, Oct 19. A 4-course dinner featuring live music from Hapa. $30 show, $60 dinner & show. 6-9pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com ANNUAL DAY OF HOPE 10K RUN/5K WALK - Sat, Oct 20. This annual benefit for cancer research and services is hosted by Howard Dashefsky of Sports People Hawaii, and includes a 10K run/5k walk, keiki dash on Wailea Beach, Locks of Love donation booth, traditional Hawaiian canoe ceremony and continental breakfast. Proceeds go to American Cancer Society’s Maui Unit and Pacific Cancer Institute of Maui. 7am Four Seasons Resort Maui, (3900 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-8748000 ext 4153; dayofhopemaui.com HAUNTED HAIKU HALLOWEEN HIKE Sat and Sun, Oct 20-21 and 27-28. Tour the haunted land in the hills of Haiku at this all-ages Halloween event with a fortune-telling waterfall gypsy, the ghosts of Chinese miners, the headless horseman, the cave of moonshine Jim, night marchers, the haunted herdsman and craft workshops. For details, call or visit website. Adults $20, kids $5. 2-8pm (Awalau and Kaupakalua); 808-878-8091; hauntedhaikuhike.com A TASTE OF ASIAN BLEND - FOOD AND MUSIC GALA - Sat, Oct 20. A gourmet food and music gala celebrating the 40th anniversary of Hawaii’s top variety dance band, Asian Blend. Featuring a live demonstration by award-winning executive sous chef Colin Hazama of Starwood Resorts Sheraton Waikiki. $75 per person. 5-10pm Maui Tropical Plantation Showroom, (1670 Honoapiilani Hwy., Wailuku); 808-2445555; mauitropicalplantation.com SUPPER CLUB WITH JOHN CRUZ - Sat, Oct 20. A 4-course dinner featuring live music from John Cruz. $30 show, $60 dinner & show. 6-9pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com VIVA LAS VEGAS CASINO NIGHT FUNDRAISER - Sat, Oct 20. The year’s annual fundraising benefit held by the Cameron Center features live music, dinner, dancing and Las Vegas style fun with legal gaming tables including black jack, roulette, craps, Texas hold ‘em, let it ride, bingo and silent and live auctions. To obtain tickets, call or email. $125 per person, a table of 12 is $1,500. 6pm King Kamehameha Golf Club, (2500 Honoapiilani Hwy., Wailuku); 808-244-5546; candy@jwcameroncenter.org JEREMY SOLE - Sat, Oct 20. World beat ambassador and KCRW radio host, Jeremy Sole, takes the stage at Charley’s for one show only on Maui. $10-20 tickets available online or at Karamel Collection (Paia), Requests Music (Wailuku) or Charley’s. 9pm Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon, (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085; charleysmaui. com / worlbeatmaui.eventbrite.com FIRST AMERICAN MUSIC FESTIVAL AND CONFERENCE 2012 HAWAII - Mon, Oct 22 through Sun, Oct 28. This 6-day event has 40+ new original bands and musicians from all over the USA, plus workshops, clinics, showcases and more. See website or twitter for more details. 11:30pm-2am American Music Festival & Conference 2012 Hawaii, (Various locations on Maui); 808-214-6911; amfc2012hawaii.com / @amfc2012hawaii on Twitter

THE DUKES OF SEPTEMBER RHYTHM REVUE - Thu, Oct 25. Grammy Award-winning singer-songwriters Donald Fagen of Steely Dan fame, Michael McDonald, solo artist and formerly with The Doobie Brothers, and legendary front-man Boz Scaggs will join forces and hit the stage as The Dukes of September Rhythm Revue. $55, $75, $95, and a limited number of premium seats at $149 (plus applicable fees). 7pm A&B Amphitheater / Yokouchi Pavilion, MACC, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org GHOULIN ROUGE, “CIRQUE DE FREAK” - Fri, Oct 26. The Montessori School of Maui presents their second annual fundraiser with gourmet pupus, live entertainment and a costume contest. This year’s theme takes an “adults-only Halloween party into the world of the traditional old traveling circus.” A 21 and up event. Tickets $85 and up. 6-10pm Montessori School of Maui, (2933 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-573-0374; momi.org THE VINCE ESQUIRE BAND - Fri, Oct 26. No cover: Save the date. 10pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-8743779; stellablues.com MACBETH - Fri, Oct 26 through Sun, Nov 11. MAPA presents Shakespeare’s Macbeth. Showings - Fri and Sat: 7:30pm and Sun: 2:00pm. $18 for adults; $15 for seniors and students; special group rates for school groups available. Steppingstone Playhouse, (Queen Kaahumanu Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-244-8760; mauiacademy.org 3RD ANNUAL PACIFIC CANCER FOUNDATION’S OKTOBERFEST - Sat, Oct 27. In association with Maui Brewing Company, PCF’s Oktoberfest is back and better than ever with musical entertainment provided by Visibly Shaken, Maui Pranksters, Nuff Sedd, Sounds of Addiction and Marty Dread. Food by Outrigger pizza and Iron Imu BBQ. Unique craft beers from microbreweries around the country and Maui Brewing Company’s brew truck. $7 entry. 12-5:30pm Wainee Park, (Old Pump Area); facebook.com/ pacificcancerfoundationoctoberfest

EVENTS THURSDAY, OCT 11 OCEAN AWARENESS TRAINING CLASS SERIES: HUMPBACK WHALES - This training will provide participants with up-to-date knowledge and interpretive skills to properly educate visitors about Hawaii’s unique marine environment. Free; register online or call. 6-8pm Na ‘Aikane O Maui Cultural Center, (562A Front St., Lahaina); 888-559-4253 ext. 258; oceanawarehawaii.org OBAKE TALES - See picks on p. 17 for info. Free. 6:30pm Wailuku Public Library, (251 High St.); 808-243-5766. TEA PARTY MAUI - TEA Party Maui’s core principles are constitutionally limited government, fiscal responsibility and the free market system. Come meet your fellow Maui patriots, discuss current events, and listen to knowledgeable and motivational speakers. Free. 6:30pm Kalama Heights Garden Room, (101 Kanani Rd., Kihei); teapartymaui.com

FRIDAY, OCT 12 HUI HOLOMUA BUSINESS FEST - See picks on p. 17 for info. Free ($30 fee for a sit-down luncheon). 6am Grand Wailea Resort and Spa, (3850 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-874-2426; mauihawaiianchamber.org; kai.pelayo@grandwailea.com


TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

10/11

10/12

10/13

10/14

10/15-10/17

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Envy Nightclub 9pm; $10 cover

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

BLUE LAGOON Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4900

CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL Wharf Cinema Center, 672 Front St., Lahaina - 667-0988

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. 744 Front St. (Rooftop), Lahaina - 669-6425

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ART SHOW: FINE ART JEWELRY OF CHAD DURGAN - Meet the artist and check out his highly creative fine art jewelry pieces. You will find many delightful materials in Chad’s work including wood, concrete, copper, brass, silver and precious gemstones. Free. 11am-2pm Maui Hands, (1169 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-2008; mauihands.com AMERICAN CRAFT WEEK - In celebration of American Craft Week, Binky’s is hosting an artist and crafter who will be demonstrating their art form. They also have handmade in Hawaii pieces by artists, crafters and jewelers for sale and on display in their gallery. Free. 10am-5pm Binky’s Art, (3600 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., Honokowai); 808-276-7474; americancraftweek. com; binkyshawaii@gmail.com ART SHOW: THE WATERCOLOR PAINTINGS OF AMANDA SCOTT - Meet up and coming artist Amanda Scott and view her collection of small works which includes paintings that “celebrate and explore man and womankind.” Free. 12-4pm Maui Hands, Paia, (84 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-9245; mauihands.com ART SHOW: WATERCOLOR ARTIST, WILLOW NORRIS - Meet the artist and view a selection of her original watercolors and limited edition giclees. Free. 4-7pm Maui Hands, Lahaina, (612 Front St., Ste. D); 808667-9898; mauihands.com

SATURDAY, OCT 13 WALK TO END ALZHEIMER’S - See picks on p. 17 for info. Registration starts at 6:30am and the walk starts at 7am. Free. Queen Ka’ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808242-8636; lynsey.capone@alz.org YMCA YARD SALE - The Maui Family YMCA is holding a huge yard sale benefiting the Y Camp Keanae. If you would like to donate items please bring them to the YMCA between 10am and 2pm on the weekdays prior to the sale. Clean out your old stuff and make room for new! They’ll have children’s items, clothing, books, electronics, sporting goods, furniture, home and garden items and more. 7am-12pm Maui Family YMCA Parking Lot, (250 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului);

Ultra w/ DJ CIA 10pm; no cover

MON - DJ Skinny Guy / TUE - Toxic Tuesdays w/ DJ TRVR / WED - Jack’d Up w/ DJ Del Sol and DJ CIA (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Get Your Sexy On w/ DJ La Rage 10pm; no cover

Kenny & the P.E.S.T.S. 10pm-close; no cover

Ladies Night 10pm-close; no cover

Ladies Nite w/ DJ 10pm; no cover

Bob Jones and The Drive 7-9:30pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo 7-9:30pm; no cover

Rootz ‘N Creation Bubz & Teomon 10pm; $10 cover

The Human Experience David Block 10pm; $10 presale; $15

Mark Johnstone & Lenny Castellanos, 6:30-8:30pm

Sandwich Island Bass & Friends, 10pm; $10

Pandora 9pm; no cover

NFL

MON - Open Mic & Jam, 7-10pm / TUE Howard Ahia & Friends, 6:30-8:30pm

Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; no cover

Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Erin Smith 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter D, 7:30-10pm / TUE - Jazz, 7:3010pm WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm

Rampage 10pm; no cover

Oktoberfest w/ DJ Big Mike, 10pm; no cover

Jus Us 8:30pm; no cover

Gina Martenilli 6pm; no cover

MON - Gomega, 10pm / TUE - Pool League, 10pm / WED - Jukebox Party, 10pm

Quiz Night 7pm; no cover

Dance Party 10pm; no cover

Dance Party 10pm; no cover

Sebrina Barron 6pm; no cover

MON - Amy’s Party Mix / TUES - Johnny Ringo WED - Kanoa (all sets 10pm; no cover)

Tom Conway & Danny M 6-9pm; no cover

Vince Esquire Band 6-9pm; no cover

Bob Jones & Nils Rosenblad 6-9pm; no cover

Nara Boone & Scott Baird 6-9pm; no cover

MON - Howard Ahia & Scotty Rotten / TUES - Mark Johnstone & Lenny Castellanos / WED Jamie Gallo & Friend (all sets 6-9pm; no cover)

Jah Residentz 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Pa’a Mana 9pm-close; no cover

Karaoke Industry Night 8pm-close; no cover

MON - Karaoke, 8pm / TUE - DJ Daizy, 9pm / WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm (no cover)

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S

WED - Karaoke w/ Sista Deva, 8pm-12:30am (all sets no cover)

DigiLuxe w/ DJ Kurt 10pm; no cover

CASANOVA

Sunrize Saturday w/ DJ Decka 10pm; no cover

DJ Jamn J 10pm; no cover

MON - Open Mic w/ MT, 10pm-close; no cover Justin Phillips 7-9:30pm; no cover

MON - Dave Caroll / TUE - Jordan Cuddy / WED - Wolf (all sets 7pm; no cover) TUE - Willie K and The Warehouse Blues Band, 9pm; $10 / WED - Ladies Night - Fast Forward w/ DJ Kurt, 10pm; $5 before 11pm

Evan Shulman 6-9pm; no cover

808-248-8355; ymcacampkeanae.org KEPANIWAI GARDENS CLEAN-UP - See picks on p. 17 for info. Free. 9:30-11:30am Japanese Gardens at the Kepaniwai Park & Heritage Gardens, (Highway 32, Iao Valley); 808-250-9714 SECOND SATURDAY ART - Get crafty with your keiki at this swanky art event held every 2nd Saturday of the month. Halloween theme activities include spooky spiders, bat mobiles, clay jack-o’-lantern and mural. Free. 10am12pm Maui Thing, (7 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-249-0215; ashley@mauitime.com ‘UKULELE WORKSHOP WITH ROY SAKUMA - A workshop conducted by master instructor Roy Sakuma, for students of all ages. Lessons are designed for beginning and intermediate players. Students should bring their own ‘ukulele, notepad (or iPad) and a pencil. Free. 10am-1pm McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org MAUI FIL-AM HERITAGE FESTIVAL - A one-day festival that showcases the culture, heritage, and history of Filipino Americans in Maui County. Try authentic Filipino dishes such as adobo, pansit, and lumpia while you enjoy the back-to-back entertainment featuring Filipino dances, songs, and music. Special events include the Master P-Noy Chef Cook Off featuring Chefs Sheldon Simeon, Geno Sarmiento and Joey Macadangdang, the Speedy Balut Eating Contest, and The Filipino Fashionista, an attire contest sponsored by Noble Travel. Plus historical displays, martial arts demonstrations, and arts & crafts for sale, and the chance to win airfare to the Philippines. Free admission. 10am-3pm Maui Mall, (70 E. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-242-8100; mauifilipinochamber.com / facebook.com/mauifilipinochamber; info@mauifilipinochamber.com PET ADOPTIONS WITH HARF - Join the Hawaii Animal Rescue Foundation for a very special opportunity to rescue your next best friend! Every Saturday, HARF will bring animals in need of a good home. For more info, see websites or call. 10am-4pm Whole Foods

Market, (70 Kaahumanu Ave #B, Kahului); 808-446-4126; and 10am-4pm Petco, (270 Dairy Road, #144, Kahului); 808-876-0022; hawaiiananimalrescue.org FREE MAUI NUI BOTANICAL GARDENS TOUR - See picks on p. 17 for info. Free. 12pm Maui Nui Botanical Gardens, (150 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului); 808-249-2798; mnbg.org. HAWAII SECULAR SOCIETY GATHERING - The next gathering of HSS is at Maui Nui Botanical Gardens. Meet up with fellow atheists, agnostics, and freethinkers for a free guided tour and gathering. Following the tour, their monthly meeting is taking place either inside the amphitheater or under the kamani tree. Come socialize while you enjoy a beautiful day at the gardens. Free. 12pm Maui Nui Botanical Gardens, (150 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului); 808-249-2798; secularhawaii.org

SUNDAY, OCT 14 POLYNESIAN PERFORMANCES - Come see Maui’s most talented halaus perform center stage. Free. 7pm Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapiilani Hwy.); 808-661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com FAMILY MAGIC - All-ages comedy and magic with Lauro Castillio. Free. 11:30am Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapiilani Hwy.); 808-6615304; lahainacannerymall.com YO-YO DEMONSTRATION - Maui Toy Works present a Yo-Yo and skill toys workshop and demonstration. Free. 4pm Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapiilani Hwy.); 808-661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com

MONDAY, OCT 15 CHARLEY’S LIVE BAND OPEN MIC & JAM - A weekly event that allows local singers, songwriters, musicians, comedians, poets and artists to perform on Charley’s world famous stage. They have an electric guitar, drum kit, bass guitar and other instruments plugged in and available for use. No cover. 7-10pm Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon, (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085; charleysmaui.com

LIST YOUR EVENT! Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo and a link to your Web site. Go to mauitime.com/listing and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Looking for something to do? Use MauiTime’s free calendar to browse hundreds of events online. Art galleries, family events, education classes, film and literary events, church groups, music, sports, volunteer opportunities—all this and more on our free events calendar at mauitime.com/calendar. Start planning your week!

OCTOBER 11, 2012 31


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MUSIC STARTS AT 10PM $10 COVER

ROOTZ ‘N CREATION BUBZ & TEOMON ISLAND SOUNDS ISLAND BEATS

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DAVID BLOCK

SHOW STARTS AT 10PM $10 PRESALE COVER $15 DOOR

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MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING + DINE & DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS CALL 808.572.0220 LOG ON AT WWW.CASANOVAMAUI.COM

32 OCTOBER 11, 2012


TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

10/11

10/12

10/13

10/14

10/15-10/17

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ISANA 515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

JAVA JAZZ 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

JAY’S PLACE

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

KIMO’S 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover

The Whiskey Pimps 10pm-close; no cover

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 661-6699

KAHALE’S

WED - Karaoke

WED - Live music, 10pm-close; no cover

Kawika 7pm; no cover

Kenny Roberts 7pm; no cover

Eight Track Players 7pm; no cover

John Grover 7pm; no cover

MON - That’s What I’m Talking About TUE - Da Ha-y-ans / WED - Herb Anderson (all sets 7pm; no cover)

1810 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Danyel Alana & Friends 9-11pm; no cover

1810 8-10pm; no cover

Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa 6:30pm, no cover

MON - Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa, 6-8pm / TUE-WED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm (all sets no cover)

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

KOBE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St. (Lounge Area), Lahaina - 667-5555

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR

MON - Trivia Night, 7pm; no cover

843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

L‘AVA SPORTS BAR & KARAOKE 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

Free Karaoke

Live Band: Sweet Mele Time, 7:30pm; no cover

LILIKOI RESTAURANT & WINE BAR

Free Pool

Free Pool

The Coconut Cowgirls 7-9:30pm; no cover

810 Haiku Rd., Haiku - 575-2629

LONGHI’S LAHAINA

MON - Farzad & Mike Madden / TUE Farzad & Mike Madden / WED - Tracy Stiles (all sets 7pm-close; no cover)

MON - Free Pool / TUE - Free Karaoke/Pool WED - Free Pool MON - Open Mic Night, 6-10pm; no cover

DJ Theron 10pm-1am; $5 cover

Live Jazz 7-10pm; no cover

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

Karaoke Night 10:30pm; no cover

Justin Phillips 6:30-9:30pm; no cover

All Access DJs Big Mike & Money Mike, 10pm; $10

MERRIMAN’S

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

Ranga Pae, 6-9pm

MON - The Benoits / TUE - David Choy / WED - Ranga Pae (all sets 6-9pm)

Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

TBA 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Celtic Tigers 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON - TBA, 6:30-8:30pm; no cover TUE - Brenton Keith, 7-8pm; no cover WED - Willie K, 7-9pm; $65 dinner & show

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S LAHAINA 1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia - 579-9999

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

TUESDAY, OCT 16 OCEAN AWARENESS CLASS SERIES: MONK SEALS AND COUNT TRAINING - The free training will provide participants with up-to-date knowledge and interpretive skills to properly educate visitors about Hawaii’s unique marine environment. Free; register online or call. 6-8pm Na ‘Aikane O Maui Cultural Center, (562A Front St., Lahaina); 888-559-4253 ext. 258; oceanawarehawaii.org TITA TELLS SPOOKY STORIES - See picks on p. 17 for info. Free. 6:30-7:30pm Kihei Public Library, (35 Waimahaihai St., Kihei); 808-8756833; librarieshawaii.org

WEDNESDAY, OCT 17 CLASSICS ILLUSTRATED WITH PAPA LOPAKA - Join Papa Lopaka (Robert DeVinck) who will present a dramatic reading of his Classics Illustrated comic book of Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. There is a brief discussion and Q&A session. The program is recommended for ages 8 to 12 and will include light snacks. Free. 3:30pm Kihei Public Library, Children’s Area, (35 Waimahaihai St.); 808-875-6833; librarieshawaii.org OCCUPY MAUI MEETING - The group’s focus is on foreclosure laws and environmental problems. They want to hear about your issues. Simply attend one of their weekly Wed. meetings to get involved. Free. 5-7pm At Freedom Lawn or Pavilion at UH Maui College, (310 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); occupymaui.com WOW! WAILEA ON WEDNESDAYS - The Shops at Wailea hosts their weekly arts and entertainment series, featuring a performance in the lower courtyard from contemporary Hawaiian and slack key king Bobby Moderow Jr. of the award-winning band Maunalua, a slew of shop-to-shop specials, art gallery receptions and artist appearances. Free.

TUE - Johnny Ringo, 8-10pm; no cover WED - Kenny Roberts, 6-9pm; no cover

Benoit Jazz Works 7-9pm; no cover Murray Thorne, 6:30-8:30pm / Pub Quiz Night w/ Trish da Dish 9:30pm-12am; no cover

6:30-8pm The Shops at Wailea, (3750 Wailea Alanui); 808-897-6770 ext. 2; theshopsatwailea.com / @ShopsAtWailea on Twitter

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI 100WINES - Fri, Indio and Avi 8-10pm. (Lahaina Gateway Center, 325 Keawe St. #105); 808-661-6181. CANOES - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm; Fri, Howard Ahia 5:30-8:30pm. (1450 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0937. CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL - Wed, Wolf 7-9:30pm; Thu, Adam Masterson 7-9:30pm; Fri, Bob Jones 7-9:30pm; Sat, Jonny Ringo 7-9:30pm; Sun, Will Hartzag 7-9:30pm; Mon, Dave Carroll 7-9:30pm; Tue, Jordan Cuddy 7-9:30pm. (672 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0988. COOL CAT CAFE - Wed, Jordan Cuddy 7:3010pm; Thu, Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; Fri, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sat, Dave Carroll 7:3010pm; Mon, Peter deAquino 7:30-10pm; Tue, Jazz 7:30-10pm. (Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908. DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Every Tue & Thu, Ben 3-5pm; Every Mon & Tue, Eddie & Alika 6-8:30pm; Daily, Hula Performance 6:30pm; Every Mon & Wed, Brian 3-5pm; Wed, Daniel & Kahala 6-8:30pm; Thu, Garrett & Peter 6-8:30pm; Fri, Garrett 3-5pm; Every Fri & Sat, Damon & Ron Oversize Productions 6-8:30pm; Sat, Tim 3-5pm; Sun, Fausto 3-5pm; Sun, Damon & Tim 6-8:30pm; Fri, Henry Kapono 5-7pm. (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina); 808-662-2900. FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. - Fri, Vince Esquire Band 6-9pm; Sat, Bob Jones & Nils Rosenblad 6-9pm; Sun, Nara Boone & Scott

Baird 6-9pm; Mon, Howard Ahia & Scotty Rotten 6-9pm; Tue, Mark Johnstone & Lenny Castellanos 6-9pm; Wed, Jaime Gallo & Friend 6-9pm; Thu, Tom Conway & Danny M. 6-9pm. (744 Front Street, Lahaina); 808-669-6425. HARD ROCK CAFE - Fri, Evan Shulman 6-9pm. (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400. HULA GRILL - Tue, Jarrett Roback 1:30pm; Daily, Hula Grill Happy Hour 3-5pm; Tue, Damon & Ron 4pm; Tue, Wili Pohaku & Peter DeAquino 6:30pm; Every Mon, Wed & Thu, Ernest Pua’a 11am; Wed, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Wed, Peter DeAquino 4pm; Wed, Ernest Pua’a & Friends 6:30pm; Thu, Alika Nakaoka 1:30pm; Thu, Kaniala Masoe 4pm; Thu, Kulewa 6:30pm; Fri, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Every Sun, Fri & Sat, 1810 4pm; Fri, Kawika, Roy & Albert 6:30pm; Sat, Ron, Ikaika & Damon 1:30pm; Sat, Damon/Ron/Keali’i 6:30pm; Sun, Danyel Alana 1:30pm; Sun, Derick Sebastian Trio 6:30pm; Mon, Kawika Lum Ho 1:30pm; Mon, Armadillo & Derek 4pm; Mon, Derick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30pm; Every Sun, Tue, Fri & Sat, Kawika Lum Ho 11am. (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pwy., Bldg P); 808-667-6636. JAVA JAZZ/SOUP NUTZ - Every Thu & Sat, Rick Glencross 7pm; Fri, Guest Performer 7pm; Fri, Tracy Stiles 7pm; Every Sun, Mon & Tue, Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm. (3350 L. Honoapiilani Hwy. #203 & 204, Honokowai); 808-667-0787. KIMO’S - Every Tue & Wed, Sam Ahia 6:308:30pm; Thu, 1810 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, 1810 8-10pm; Sun, Benny Uyetake and Glenn Kakagawa 6-8pm; Mon, Benny Uyetake and Glenn Kakagawa 6-8pm; Fri, Danyel Alana & Friends 9-11pm. (845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811.

Thu & Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Sat, Harry Troupe 7:30-9:30pm; Sun, Greg Di Piazza 7:309:30pm; Every Mon & Tue, Martin Tevaga 7:309:30pm. (730 Front St.); 808-661-0700. LAHAINA SPORTS BAR - Mon, Trivia 7-9pm. (843 Wainee St., Unit 1 & 2); 808-667-6655. LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Fri, JD & Friends 3-5pm; Sat, JD & Harry 3-5pm; Sun, Merv Oana 3-5pm; Thu, Jarret & Wilson 3-5pm. (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Bldg. J); 808-661-4495. LONGBOARDS KA’ANAPALI - Every Tue, Wed, Thu & Fri, Solo guitarist 5:30-8:30pm. (100 Nohea Kai Dr.); 808-667-1200. LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Thu, Howard Ahia 6-8pm; Fri, Justin Phillips 6:309:30pm; Sat, Ben DeLeon 6:30-9:30pm; Wed, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm. (Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy. #A1); 808-661-0808.

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OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414

PARADISE GRILL 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Lahaina - 662-3700

Live Salsa Music w/ Nieto & Barbara, 7:30-9:30pm

Freaky Friday: Monsters & Witches, 10pm; no cover

Mark Johnson & John Zangrande, 6-9pm

Teri Garrison, 6-8pm Live music or DJ, 10pm

Naau and Go Get Em 9:30pm; $10 cover

NFL Hawaiian Music 6-8pm

RB STEAKHOUSE

WED - Open Mic Night, 9:30pm; no cover

4465 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina - 669-8889

SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Un-corked & Unplugged 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

DJ Blast 10pm; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm; no cover

DJ LX 10pm-close; no cover

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

R.S. SHARKY’S 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 874-6115

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

WATERCRESS Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351

MERRIMAN’S - Daily (except Mon & Tue), Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Mon, The Benoits 5:308:30pm; Tue, David Choy 5:30-8:30pm. (1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina); 808-669-6400. PARADISE GRILL - Thu, Mark Johnson & John Zangrande 6-9pm; Fri, Teri Garrison 6-8pm; Sat, JD & Harry 6-8pm; Sun, Hawaiian Music Night 6-8pm; Mon, Mark Johnstone & Lenny Castellanos 6-9pm; Tue, JD & Harry 6-8pm. (2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-3700. PINEAPPLE GRILL - Thu, Island Rhythm Sounds of Josh Kahula of Nuff Sedd 7-10pm; Fri, Brother Damien’s Ocean Beach Party 7:3010pm; Sat, Island Sounds with Alika & Eddie 7-10pm; Wed, Jazz Sounds of Fulton Tashombe 6-9pm. (200 Kapalua Dr.); 808-669-9600. PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Wed, JD on the Rocks 5-8pm; Thu, Greg di Piazza feat. Alana Cini 5:30-8:30pm; Fri, Wilmont Kahaiali‘i 5-8pm; Tue, Ah-Tim Elenicki 5:30-8:30pm. (658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-8881. RB BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm. (4465 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-669-8889. RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE - Every Sun & Sat, Live Jazz 6-9pm. (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-8815. SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT, NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT - Every Mon & Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Sat, Coelho Morrison 7-9pm; Sun, Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Every Tue, Thu & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm. (5900 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy.); 808-669-1500.

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Thu, Jamie Gallo 7pm; Mon, The Jonah Trio 8pm; Wed, Red Carpet Movie Night: Army of Darkness 7:30pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-1011. BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Every Sun & Wed, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; Every Thu & Sat,

Kanoa 10pm-close; no cover

TUE - DJ LX, 10pm / WED - Ladies Night w/ DJ Decka, 10pm

NFL

MON - MNF / TUE - Pool Leagues WED - Reggae Dance Party, 8pm

Jordan & Gordon 9pm-midnight; no cover

2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON

MON - Lenny Castellanos & Mark Johnstone, 6-9pm / TUE - Gene & Shea, 6-9pm / WED Johnny Ringo w/ Mark D’Antonio,10pm-1am

Ladies Night 8:30pm; no cover

Andy Kaina and the Kaina Kountry Band, 8pm

Kanekoa 7pm; no cover

Ah-Tim 4-6pm; no cover

Doc Titanium House of Horrors Comedy Show 10pm; $7 presale; $10

Paula Fuga, Mike Love and Sam Ites, 6-9pm; $60 dinner & show; $30 show

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover

Maui Underground 9pm; $4

Karaoke w/ Pearl Rose 9pm-12am; no cover

Karaoke/Family Night 6pm; no cover

Live Music & Dancing 8pm; no cover

Open Mic Night w/ Shaun Michael, 9pm; no cover

Visibly Shaken 10pm, no cover

Karaoke Twisted Thursdays w/ Party Rock Krew 10pm; no cover

MON - Mike Finkewiecz, 4-6pm / TUE - Tom Conway, 4pm / Live Stand Up Comedy Open Mic, 9pm / WED - Randall Rospond, 4pm

Live Music 5:30-7:30pm; no cover

WED - Brenton Keith & His Bag O’Tricks; 7pm; no cover

Soul Kitchen w/ Elaine Ryan, 9:30pm; no cover

Louise Lambert 6:30pm; no cover

WED - Blues with The House Shakers 8:30pm, no cover

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

Forbidden Fridays w/ Party Rock Krew 10pm; no cover

Free Karaoke 9pm; no cover

Free Karaoke 9pm; no cover

MON - Free Karaoke, 9pm / TUE - Free Karaoke, 9pm / WED - Singles’ Night w/ X-Klusive Sounds Productions, 10pm (All sets no cover)

Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Fri, Tom Cherry & Mike Finkiewicz 5-8pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm. (300 Maalaea Rd. #1M); 808-243-2286. CAPISCHE? - Sat, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm; Sun, Mark Johnstone 6-9pm; Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm. (555 Kaukahi St., Kihei); 808-879-2224. DIAMONDS ICE BAR & GRILL - Sun, Gina Martenilli 6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd. #314); 808-874-9299. DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB - Sun, Sebrina Barron 6pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-9669. HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Thu, Junior Lacuesta 4-8pm; Sat, Ryan Robinson 4-8pm; Every Tue, Wed & Fri, Rick Glencross 4-8pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd. #E); 808-891-8010. JUST WING IT! - Every Fri & Sat, Chicken Boxing 5-7pm. (225 Piikea Ave., Kihei); 808-875-9464. KAMAOLE POOLSIDE CAFE - Wed, Steve Sargenti 6-9pm; Thu, Island favorites with Kawika Lum Ho 6-9pm; Fri, Girls Night Out with Gina Martinelli 6-9pm; Sat, Ron Shadian and Friends 6-9pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm; Mon, Music by Rama 6-9pm; Tue, Mike & Mark 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8860. MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Wed, Jarret & Wilson 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Wolf 3-5pm; Fri, Alika Naka’oka 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 3-5pm; Sat, Erin Smith 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, Alika Naka’oka 3-5pm; Sun, Kilohana 6:308:30pm; Mon, Ron & Tarvin 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Kilohana 6:30-8:30pm. (10 Wailea Gateway Pl., Unit B-201); 808-891-2322. MONSOON INDIA - Sat, Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, The Hula Honeys 5:30-8:30pm. (760 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-4555. MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Wed, Joel Katz 5:30-6:30pm; Wed, Willie K 7-9pm; Thu, Murray Thorne 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Seb-

rina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, TBA 6:308:30pm; Sun, The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley 6:30-9:30pm; Mon, TBA 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Brenton Keith and his Bag O’ Tricks 7-8pm. (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131. PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 5:30-7:30pm; Fri, Twisted Hips Belly Dancing 6-8pm. (34 Wailea Gateway Plaza); 808-879-7177. SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Wed, Mark Johnstone 4-6pm; Thu, Jaime Gallo 4-6pm; Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Sun, Viva La Rumba 4-6pm; Mon, Kanoa 4-6pm; Tue, Sebrina Barron 4-6pm. (Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6444. STELLA BLUES CAFE - Wed, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Thu, Ah Tim 4-6pm; Fri, Ahumanu 4-6pm; Sun, Jamie Lawrence 4-6pm; Mon, Mike Finkiewicz 4-6pm; Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779. TAQUERIA CRUZ - Every Tue & Sat, Live Music - Reggae, Jazz, Blues 5:30-8:30pm. (2395 S. Kihei Rd. #112); 808-875-2910. THE RED BAR AT GANNON’S, A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT - Thu, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm; Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm. (Wailea Golf Club House, 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-875-8080. THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Every Sun, Mon & Wed, Hawaiian Music 5-8pm; Sun, Louise Lambert 6:30-9pm; Every Tue, Thu, Fri & Sat, Acoustic with Chad Kaya 5-8pm. (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133. TOMMY BAHAMA’S TROPICAL CAFE - Every Thu & Fri, Margie Heart 5:30-9:30pm; Every Sun & Sat, Howard Ahia 5:30-9:30pm; Mon, Greg Di Piazza 5:30-9:30pm; Wed, Merv Oana 5:309:30pm. (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-9983.

CENTRAL MAUI CAFE O’LEI AT THE DUNES AT MAUI LANI - Every Fri & Sat, Phil and Angela Benoit 5:308pm; Thu, Reiko Fukina 5:30-8pm. (1333 Maui Lani Pkwy., Kahului); 808-877-0073. L’AVA SPORTS BAR & KARAOKE - Fri, Live Band - Sweet Mele Time 7pm. (1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku); 808-244-4888. WAILUKU COFFEE COMPANY - Fri, Live music 5-7pm. (28 N. Market St.); 808-495-0259

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CAFE DES AMIS - Thu, Joe Conte 6:308:30pm; Sat, Live Argentinian music 6:308:30pm; Wed, Mark Johnstone 6:30-8:30pm. (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-6323. CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT & SALOON Thu, Mark Johnstone & Lenny Castellanos Blues Duo 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Howard Ahia & Friends 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Open Mic & Jam 7-10pm. (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085. FLATBREAD COMPANY - Mon, Wes Furumoto 6-9pm. (89 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8989. HANA HOU CAFE - Tue, Hipnautical 6-9pm. (810 Haiku Rd.); 808-575-2661. LILIKOI GRILL RESTAURANT & WINE BAR - Mon, Open Mic Night 6-10pm; Sat, The Coconut Cowgirls featuring Meaghan & Priscilla 7-9:30pm. (810 Kokomo Rd., Suite 186, Haiku); 808-575-2629. MOANA BAKERY & CAFE - Thu, Benoit Jazz Works 7-9pm. (71 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-9999. NORTHSHORE CAFE - Fri, Makana 7-9pm; Tue, Ryan - Keyboards from Brooklyn 7-9pm. (824 Kokomo Rd., Haiku); 808-575-2770. PAIA BAY CAFE - Sun, Hawaiian Steel Guitar w/ Joel Katz 9-11am. (43 Hana Hwy.); 808-579-3111.

OCTOBER 11, 2012 35


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Horoscope

Sign Language BY CAERIEL CRESTIN LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) When a fly gets caught in a spiderweb, it’s mostly snared by its own stupidity. If it had the sense to just keep still a moment, check out its situation and carefully extricate itself, it would have a better chance of getting free. But instead it struggles, inevitably tangling itself further and attracting the attention of the spider itself. I’m not criticizing an insect’s intelligence; it is what it is. But when you find yourself caught on one or two delicate, sticky filaments of trouble this week, don’t freak out and start flailing around. Stay calm, be resourceful and use the sharpest edge I know of—your brain—to cut yourself loose.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Invite the monsters under your bed out for a drink. Get them tipsy and pick their brains. What’s the secret behind your greatest, most successful anxieities? Do they thrive on freaking you out? Or is it simply because you sanction their existence by refusing to conceive of a life without fears? This is a good week to give lurking terrors that haunt you the boot; cast them out and don’t look back. Give the underside of your bed a good sweeping out, then invite some friendlier monsters in to live, ones that’ll remind you of all the ways you’re nourished and safe, not frightened or troubled.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) The house of candy had lured many children to their doom already, until those infernal brats, Hansel and Gretel, came to visit. Skinny little things, they begrudged a witch her supper. Her cataracts prevented her from uncovering their deception as they proffered discarded finger bones for measurement—somehow they defied her fat-filled cooking. But the witch’s fatal mistake occurred when she believed the children to be more stupid than they were. As a result, they roasted her alive. This week, don’t let all your hard work—the gingerbread house, the weeks of fattening the children—get thrown into the oven, along with yourself, by a minor oversight. Be sure you’ve got your windowsills sugar-frosted, loose licorice tied up and all cages securely locked.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) On one shoulder lolls a horny red devil, counseling you to not resist temptation, to succumb to your most perverse desires. On the other perches a tediously trite but strangely compelling little angel, advising you to do the righteous thing. Brush them off like a bad dandruff problem. The world’s more complicated than the viewpoints of unimaginative purists out of a cartoon reality. Hard-and-fast rules are for suckers; I prefer exceptions. Let me tell you a secret: there are a few of us out there who’ve learned how to wear horns and wings, to be horny and holy. There’s a way to satisfy your longings while doing the right thing. Find it.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) Picture the moment when the ant finally submits to its not-so-spontaneous combustion under a magnifying glass. Be impressed with the voracious wall of flame that runs marathons across a forest, sprinting with long glowing legs. There’s a certain element of darkness to the searing power of fire. But as your personal energy concentrates and intensifies—like sunlight through a lens—it doesn’t need to destroy or consume to show its power. It can warm, cook, entertain, illuminate, or protect. Please practice this mostly benevolent side of yourself. This week, shine without burning anyone or anything.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) Every teacher’s primary goal should be to make herself obsolete. Instead of merely imparting rote, one-sided information of limited use, each instructor should teach his students to find facts, read between the lines, question; ultimately, to learn and think for themselves instead of habitually taking others’ words at face value. You rarely (if ever) allow anyone else to tell you what to think—in fact, you’ll often present your opinion as fact! This week, encourage others to formulate their own opinions based on the most complete information (from as many perspectives as possible) available. If you can’t do that, at least be upfront about being a tight-ass when it comes to original thought—at least when it differs from your own.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) I read of one woman’s peculiar predicament: separating her two dogs from their meal. They were alternately eating and sleeping inside an enormous elk carcass that had ended up on her lawn. How could she get her hounds out of their meal? Hosing them didn’t work; in fact they seemed grateful for the cooling off—it must get hot inside a flesh-covered rib cage on a sunny day. You might be faced with a similar dilemma this week, where it seems the only immediately viable solution is to just climb right inside your problem, icky shit and all, and pull what you need right out of the bloody mess.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) You’ve got flower stems clogging your gun barrels, sugar in your gas tank and love letters instead of dollar bills fill your wallet. All of this may be terribly inconvenient, but I doubt you’ll mind. When you’re feeling this good, it’s hard to resent the fact that you seem unable to vent your aggressions, go anyplace, or spend any money. Enjoy it, Cancer. Consider it a cosmic birthday present. Your obstacles have rarely been more pleasant. If anyone gives you shit for being a bit on the lazy side this week, tell them it’s not apathy; it’s bliss.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) Last night I dreamt you were confined to a room until you’d spun whole bales of hay into gold. You learned quickly, and soon produced spools of shining thread. Unfortunately, you were disappointed to discover that it was weak and inflexible, if pretty. Refining your system, you developed a much stronger, more versatile thread—in an unspectacular shade of brown. When reviewing your fine handiwork, the evaluators found it wanting; it wasn’t gold, not even close. The moral: give them what they ask for. Your way may be better, cleaner, faster, more environmentally sound, healthier, more efficient, more politically correct, but if they’re not asking for it, they’re not buying it. So what? Give yourself a break and let them suffer.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) One of your lesser-known magical powers is the ability to mature gracefully. Although you lack the ability to age backwards (like those tricky Capricorns) you wear the occasional silver hair or wrinkle with compelling dignity and charm. Some of you even get sexier as you get older. But undue focus on your outward appearance can only eclipse an even more powerful Leonine secret: Leos get wiser with age. (Not everyone does.) There’s more, though: Your wisdom is eminently practical, not abstract or academic. For instance, now that you’re suddenly sexy enough to catch the eye of that previously apathetic crush, you’re also wise enough to know whether to bother, and better able to make it work if you do.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) An old friend of mine got accosted by a wigmaker on the streets of New York and offered two grand for her long, wavy red hair. She was flustered and suddenly had to reevaluate something she’d taken for granted, in light of the huge wad of cash she’d done virtually nothing to earn. In her case, she refused, suddenly treasuring this part of herself she’d often ignored or resented. When you’re offered a bonus this week for some aspect of simply being yourself, I hope—whether you take advantage of the offer or not—that you’ll teach yourself a thing or two about how much you’re really worth.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) You’re going to offend, hurt or otherwise annoy a certain percentage of people no matter what you do. Even if you go out of your way to be helpful, humble and nice, some people will despise you for it. There’s simply no pleasing everyone. You know this. Yet you sometimes persist in censoring yourself because you’re scared some people won’t like you. Since there’s always going to be someone who hates you no matter which side of the fence you land on, why not do what you really want? Try it this week. I think you’ll find that speaking your mind is a lot more fun than biting your tongue.

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS ...to questions from page 4

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