January 17, 2013 ✚ Volume 116 ✚ Issue 31 ✚ FREE
Unpaid WILL W ILL T THE HE
EVER E VER COLLECT
COUNTY OF MAUI
ITS D DEFERRAL AGREEMENTS? AGRE
RESULTS
PG.5
GRAM
PG.13
ZERO
BANANA
SHOCKING
DARK PG.19
30
REVIEW
PLUS
Debts
PG.10
2
JANUARY 17, 2013
Contents VOLUME 16
THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: Who’s the biggest badass you know of who isn’t named Chuck Norris?
✚
January 17, 2013 ✚ Volume 16 1 ✚ Issue 31 ✚ FREE
Culinary, Lifestyle & Business Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com Bruce Lee Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia (Betty White), Jenny Greene Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Bond. James Bond. Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Don Knotts
Unpaid WILL W ILL T THE HE
EVER E VER COLLECT
COUNTY OF MAUI
ITS D DEFERRAL AGREEMENTS? AGRE
SHOCKING
RESULTS
4 10 15 16 17 19 21 22 23 28 29 31
PG.5
BANANA GRAM
PG.13
DARK
ZERO
PLUS
Debts
PG.19
PG.10
Cover design by Darris Hurst. Photo courtesy EpicStockMedia / shutterstock.com
THE COLOR SPECIALIST IN MAUI “Teamwork is very important to us. You’ll feel the difference when you walk through the door.”
Meet:
30
REVIEW
Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Lee Marvin
ISSUE 31
ON THE COVER:
Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Kimbo Slice
SALON
NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY EAT & DRINK A&E THIS WEEK’S PICKS FILM CRITIQUE FILM TIMES DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID CLASSIFIED HOROSCOPE MIND, BODY & SPIRIT
Formely of :
Interns: Axel Beers, Sarah Gerlach, Lauren Hecker, Marina Satoafaiga
Laurie
Mel
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MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2013 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime. MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime
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News & Views
QUIZunderstood
NEW!
FINE EUROPEAN FI LINGERIE
sion had taken the Kauai County Auditor’s $114,848 annual salary into consideration when deciding on the new Maui County Auditor’s salary. What is the salary they agreed on? A. $90,000. B. $95,000. C. $100,000. D. $105,000. E. $110,000.
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1. On Jan. 11, Maui County Mayor Alan Arakawa announced that Coastal Living Magazine had named one of Maui’s towns one of the “Top Ten Happiest Seaside Towns in America.” Which town was it? A. Lahaina. B. Kihei. C. Hana. D. Maalaea. E. Paia.
2.
The Jan. 12 Maui News reported that the Maui County Salary Commis-
On Friday, Jan. 11, Maui Land & Pineapple stock closed at $4.11/share after news broke that the New York Stock Exchange was giving the company 18 months to “comply with the average market capitalization standard,” according to a Pacific Business News post that day. According to Google Finance, ML&P’s stock reached a high back on Feb. 25, 2005–what was the share price back then? A. $19.45 B. $27.18 C. $32.37 D. $47.12 E. $51.73
See answers, page 29
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JANUARY 17, 2013
News & Views
Coconut Wireless
Talk of the Island
BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO
PHOTO NATIONAL ARCHIVES WIKIMEDIA
But King's marchers got signs!
YOU CAN MARCH, BUT NOT CARRY SIGNS
COUNTY PAYS $40,000 TO SETTLE 2006 TASER CASE Speaking of the Maui PD, it was almost refreshing this week to read that our fair county is leading the legal way in terms of what constitutes police excessive force where Tasers are concerned. “Maui County has disclosed it paid $40,000 last year to settle a federal lawsuit by a Maui woman who was shot by a Taser gun by one of four police officers in 2006
PHOTO COURTESY WIKIMEDIA
Look carefully at the photo of Martin Luther King, Jr. Taken in 1963, it shows King’s march on Washington. He and his supporters were calling for an end to segregated schools, buses and hiring; an end to poll taxes and voting suppression. They wanted an end to all the civil rights abuses that, to some extent, still plague this country. Ironically, they were marching and carrying signs, which is illegal today in the County of Maui. That’s right, kids: you can march through Wailuku Town on Monday, Jan. 21 as part of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, but don’t bring a sign. At first, I didn’t believe the Jan. 9 email from the African Americans on Maui Association: “We need to alert all Parade Participants per the Maui Police Department: It is a County Ordinance that no one is allowed to carry signs, but may carry photos of Dr. King or banners of their organizations. Please be advised that the Maui Police Department will issue tickets should anyone carry signage.” Seriously? Such a law–which all but spits on the 1st Amendment to the Constitution–actually appears in the County Code? Turns out it does. “Maui County Code section 12.42 governs sign waving in the County of Maui,” said Maui Police Lt. Wayne Ibarra in a Jan. 14 email. According to Ibarra, MCC section 12.42.030 states that “No person shall hold or display a sign within the rightof-way boundaries of any highway in any manner which draws, is intended to draw, or may draw the attention of occupants of motor vehicles using a highway.” What’s more, the law quoted by Ibarra says the person and/or sign cannot be: • Within 50 feet of any traffic control signal; • Within 20 feet of a pedestrian crosswalk; • Closer than six feet to the edge of the pavement or other surface of the highway. If all of this sounds upside-down, backwards and dumb, then that just means you’re paying attention. (See Picks, pg. 17,
for more info on the march.)
at her Wailuku home,” the Honolulu StarAdvertiser reported on Jan. 14. According to previous media accounts, on Aug. 23, 2006 Maui Police Officer Ryan Aikala attempted to arrest Troy Mattos for an alleged domestic dispute. As Aikala did, Mattos’ wife Jayzel (who is 5’ 3” and weighs 120 pounds) attempted to intervene. “As Jayzel Mattos put up her arm to keep Aikala from pressing against her chest, he said, ‘Are you touching an officer?’ and shot her with his Taser without warning,” the Star-Advertiser reported on May 29, 2012. According to an Oct. 18, 2011 Maui Now story, the other three officers were Darren Agarano, Halayudha MacKnight and Stuart Kunioka. The officers then arrested Jayzel, charging her with harassment and obstructing a government operation. Later, they dropped the charges. Mattos then sued in federal court and won. Even though Taser law was still new at that time, the court ruling that her constitutional rights had been violated (they also ruled the officers were immune from prosecution because of the lack of legal precedent). After the county failed to get the U.S. Supreme Court to review the ruling, they negotiated a confidential settlement with Mattos. When the Star-Advertiser filed a public records request for the settlement terms with the County of Maui, officials gave the paper a copy of the $40,000 check they wrote her. That’s the nuts and bolts of the settlement,
Don't tase me brah!
Overheard “I almost got run over by a little grandma! She was going for me!” -Woman in Makawao Town, Jan. 12
as unearthed by the Star-Advertiser. But the real shocking (sorry) part of the story came at the end with the revelation that the Mattos case is now case law across the nation: “Law enforcement officers won’t be able to claim future immunity in the future because they now have a court decision that sets standards on the use of the Tasers, [Mattos’ attorney Eric] Seitz said,” reported the paper. “Those standards include considerations such as whether the person is resisting arrest, the seriousness of the offense and other levels of force that police might use to subdue the person.”
GOV. APPOINTS JUSTIN WOODSON 9TH DISTRICT STATE REP. The day before the state Legislative term began, Governor Neil Abercrombie appointed Justin Woodson to take over the 9th District state representative seat covering Kahului. “Justin’s experience as a small business owner and his familiarity with the state Legislature will ensure continued and strong representation for the residents of Maui,” Abercrombie said on Jan. 15. According to a Jan. 15 Maui News story posted online, Woodson–who owns Woodson’s Eco Auto Wash in Kahului and was until a couple years ago a realtor on Oahu–was one of three finalists selected by a special Maui County Democratic Party committee. The other two finalists were Renee-May Kehau Filimoe‘atu, a Maui PD communications supervisor and Anthony Edington, a chef who’s worked at the Westin and Kapalua Bay Hotel. The Maui News also indelicately pointed out that nominees like former County Councilmember Joseph Pontanilla and former Maui County Mayor James “Kimo” Apana were “noticeably absent” from the finalists list (the remaining two nominees were Kallie Keith-Agaran, a party activist and wife of state Senator Keith-Agaran, and former County Council candidate Alan Fukuyama). For his part, Woodson has some political experience. The governor’s office press release stated that Woodson has done “analyst and clerk duties” for state Representatives Tom Brower and Mele Carroll and state Senator Carol Fukunaga. And he was a former president of the College Democrats of Hawaii. Woodson also appeared in a 2009 campaign video (it’s on YouTube) showing his support for Abercrombie’s 2010 run at the governor’s office. “This man is very humble, you know,” Woodson says of Abercrombie in the video, which was shot just off a busy street. “He’s very thoughtful. He actually listens, which is an important quality. And he knows the issues and he seems genuinely concerned about what I am saying and [with] Hawaii as a whole... He has a very positive energy. You can tell he’s a hard worker.” ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1631n1
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Issue 06 ✚ FREE July 26, 2012 ✚ Volume 16 ✚
Armadillo
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Large capacity cesspools became illegal seven years ago, but the EPA only recently discovered that the Kihei Marketplace has one. Even if you don’t have one, here’s why this should worry you. PG.
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10
“Cycle Of Love”
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JANUARY 17, 2013
annual Lanai Slack Key Festival
We are always looking for talented local artists to help create select cover designs throughout the year. Email your design samples to:
artdirector@mauitime.com WALK-INS WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED.
News & Views
MauiSphere PHOTO COURTESY FEED MY SHEEP
LOCAL PLUGS
That's a lot of rice
FEED MY SHEEP GETS BIG DONATIONS
Just when you thought all we had to worry about concerning climate change
See it now, while you still can
OVERTHROW ANNIVERSARY Thursday, Jan. 17, 2013 marks the 120th anniversary of the overthrow of the Hawaiian Kingdom. UH Maui College will be holding events from noon until 7pm to commemorate and inform the public about this tragic day in Hawaiian history. Some may think the 17th marks just another notch in the timeline of imperialist conquest of indigenous peoples in the name of progress, but critics of history and those holding the native end of the stick recount the lesser told story of a noble queen deposed of her rightful throne by American capitalist insurgents
intent on keeping their business prospects alive and elite. Under the ironic title “Committee of Safety,” the gang of 13 (backed by the Honolulu Rifles) maneuvered, using American fears for security, Washington connections and US Marines to orchestrate an illegal overthrow of the Kingdom of Hawaii, ultimately resulting in the annexation of the territory into the United States of America. In 1993, on the 100th anniversary of the Overthrow, President Bill Clinton signed the “Apology Resolution” which among other things “apologiz[ed] to Native Hawaiians on behalf of the people of the United States for the overthrow of the Kingdom of Hawaii on January 17th, 1893… and the deprivation of the rights of Native Hawaiians to self-determination.” This year’s event will take place on the UH Maui College Great Lawn and will begin at noon with a display of the 1897 Ku‘e Petitions. The petitions collected 40,000 signa-
PHOTO COURTESY WIKIMEDIA
SILVERSWORD DOOMED BY CLIMATE CHANGE?
PHOTO COURTESY PAUL KRUSHELNYCKY UH MANOA
Feed My Sheep, the largest nonprofit direct distributor of food to those in poverty on Maui, released a statement on Jan. 11 praising “amazing support during the holiday season.” The Maui organization received 2,950 five pound bags of rice from the Maui Hotel and Lodging Association, a $1,000 check from the Maui Chamber of Commerce and another $1,000 check from GEICO Insurance. The rice donation from the Maui Hotel and Lodging Association was part of the Association’s annual Christmas present to the unfortunate poor on Maui. A similar holiday spirit of giving embodied the Maui Chamber of Commerce, which designated Feed My Sheep the honorary charity for the 2012 Maui Chamber Golf Tournament. Pamela Tumpap, President of the Maui Chamber of Commerce, presented the donation check—which went directly towards the timely purchase of food supplies such as fresh produce and canned goods for the holiday season—at a ceremony on Dec. 18, 2012. The $1,000 gift from GEICO will also be used directly to purchase food supplies for Feed My Sheep Distribution sites on Maui. “Many families from all walks of life are in need of food during these difficult economic times,” said Feed My Sheep CEO and executive director Joyce Kawakami in the press release. “We are very grateful to the Maui Hotel and Lodging Association, the Maui Chamber of Commerce and Geico Insurance for their continued generosity and support. These much-needed funds and food will help our ongoing efforts to make Maui hunger-free. Our friends in the community,
whom we have the privilege of serving, know they can count on us not only for physical sustenance, but also spiritual support to help manage personal challenges.” Feed My Sheep is the largest nonprofit direct distributor of food to those in need on Maui, through weekly food distributions at six island-wide centers. The nonprofit is dedicated to offering not only nutritional sustenance but also spiritual support to those in need. Feed My Sheep and its dedicated volunteers help those in need overcome personal challenges that often accompany hunger and poverty. For more information, visit feedmysheepmaui. com or call 808-872-9100. -Axel Beers
was higher temperatures, sea level rise, sustained droughts, stronger storms, shrinking ice caps and disease pandemics, the United States Geological Survey and UH Manoa is now telling us that new research shows that changing planetary weather patterns brought on by industrialization may doom the rare and beautiful Haleakala silversword (as well as probably lots of other species, but still). “The silversword is an amazing story of selective biological adaptation of this distant cousin of the daisy to the high winds and sometimes freezing temperatures on the high slopes and thin soils of Haleakala volcano,” said USGS Director Marcia McNutt in a Jan. 15 press release. “Despite the successful efforts of the National Park Service to protect this very special plant from local disturbance from humans and introduced species, we now fear that these actions alone may be insufficient to secure this plant’s future. No part of our planet is immune from the impacts of climate change.” Found only on the slopes of Haleakala, the silversword can grow anywhere from 20 to 90 years, then reproduces at the end of its life with what scientists call an “inflorescence”–a nearly six-foot tower that may contain 600 flowers. Threatened a century ago from animals and humans, the plant made a recovery in the 20th century through careful management and care. But then in the 1990s, the scientists say, decline set in. “A strong association of annual population growth rates with patterns of precipitation suggests the plants are undergoing increasingly frequent and lethal water stress,” says the press release. “Local climate data confirms trends towards warmer and drier conditions on the mountain, which the researchers warn will create a bleak outlook for the threatened silverswords if climate trends continue.” If the climate trends continue. Think we can all bank on that, can’t we? ■ -Anthony Pignataro
Honolulu Rifles
tures of Hawaiians opposed to the Annexation. As a result, the initial treaty was defeated in the U.S. Congress.The display will be open until Saturday Jan. 19 at noon. At 5pm, there will be a symbolic raising of the Hawaiian flag by the Royal Hawaiian Guards, followed by the 5:30pm re-enactment titled “The Queen’s Women,” written by Didi Lee Kwai. The re-enactment recreates the experience of those participating in the 1897 Ku‘e Petitions. At 7pm, there will be a lecture by Ron Williams, PhD, on hidden and silenced native narratives on the Overthrow as well as the faulty and purposeful reasons behind it. Whether native or transplanted, local or haole, all are encouraged to attend and gain a greater perspective and appreciation of the history of the Hawaii we call home. For more information, email kaheleon@hawaii.edu. -Axel Beers editor@mauitime.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1631n2
JANUARY 17, 2013
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The usual 20,000 or so visitors every year to Belgium’s Verbeke Foundation art park have the option (365 of them, anyway) to spend the night inside the feature attraction: a 20-foot-long, 6-foot-high polyester replica of a human colon created by Dutch designer Joep Van Lieshout. At one end, of course, another body part is replicated (and gives the installation its formal name, the Hotel CasAnus). The facility, though “cramped,” according to one prominent review, features heating, shower and double bed, and rents for the equivalent of about $150 a night. The 30-acre art park is regarded as one of Europe’s “edgiest” art destinations.
New York’s highest court ruled in November that subway “grinders” (men who masturbate by rubbing up against women on trains) cannot be charged with felonies as long as they don’t use force to restrain their victims (but only commit misdemeanors that usually result in no jail time). And police in Phuket, Thailand, announced that their allpoints search for a public masturbator who harassed a restaurant’s staff had produced no suspects–although a spokesman said they did find “a few people [nearby] who were masturbating in their vehicles, but none of them were the man we are looking for.”
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The issues director of the fundamentalist American Family Association told his radio audience in November that God’s feelings will be hurt if America stops using fossil fuels for energy. “God has buried those treasures there because he loves to see us find them,” said Bryan Fischer, who described Americans’ campaigns against fossil fuels as similar to the time when Fischer, at age six, told a birthday-present donor that he didn’t like his gift. “And it just crushed that person.”
CHUTZPAH! Mauricio Fierro gained instant fame in December in Sao Paulo, Brazil, as the reported victim of a car theft (captured on surveillance video) when he dashed into a pharmacy. He went to a police station to file a report, but encountered the pharmacy owner making his own report–that Fierro was actually robbing him at the moment the car was taken. More surveillance video revealed that while Fierro was standing outside the pharmacy, wondering where his car was, a man ran by and stole the stolen cash. Fierro then immoderately complained to the police even more about Sao Paulo’s crime rate and lack of security. Afterward, Fierro admitted to a local news website that in fact he had stolen the very car that he was reporting stolen.
THE CONTINUING CRISIS Former undercover cop Mark Kennedy filed for damages in October against the London Metropolitan police, claiming post-traumatic stress syndrome based on the department’s “negligence” in allowing him to have such a robust sex life on the job that he fell in love with a woman whose organization he had infiltrated. Kennedy’s wife has filed for divorce and is also suing the department, and 10 other women (including three of Kennedy’s former lovers) have also filed claims.
8
JANUARY 17, 2013
PERSPECTIVE Four months have passed since News of the Weird mentioned that at least 60 North Carolina prisoners have been improperly incarcerated–legally innocent based on a 2011 federal appeals court decision. (Still others are at least owed sentence reduction because they had been convicted of offenses in addition to the incorrect one.) A June USA Today story revealed the injustice, and the federal government took until August to release holds on the inmates, but since then, only 44 of the estimated 175 affected prisoners have been correctly adjudicated. USA Today reported in December that the recent delay has been because of the obstinacy of some North Carolina federal judges, including cases involving citizens by now wrongfully locked up for more than 18 months.
LEAST COMPETENT PARKING ENFORCERS The week before Christmas, a Nottingham, England, officer wrote parking tickets to drivers of two ambulances that were taking too long to board wheelchair-using schoolchildren who had just sung carols for an hour downtown to raise money for the homeless shelter Emmanuel House. Following an outpouring of complaints, the Nottingham City Council revoked the tickets.
LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS Marquis Diggs, 29, entering the county administration building in Jersey City, N.J., in December for a hearing in family court over his mother’s restraining order against him, became the most recent drug possessor not to have realized that he might be subjected to a search. Police confiscated 32 baggies of “suspected marijuana.” And Cleland Ayison, 32, got a sentencing break in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., in December when federal judge William Dimitrouleas pitied him. Ayison got only house arrest and community service because his crime–trying to pass a U.S. Federal Reserve note with a face value of $500 million–was so “silly.” ■ chuck@mauitime.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1631n3
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to
ehbrah@mauitime.com
W
hale Day is to about helping people understand the aina and its wildlife and how better to protect all that we hold dear. So when I came out of my house across from the library and all the whale day floats were unloading in front of my driveway and blocking the road, I understood because it’s only for the one day. But when you left plenty cardboard rubbish all over the road blowing towards the same ocean you were ostensibly trying to protect, I got angry. Brah, please take your rubbish with you when you leave my neighborhood next time. ■
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9
Unpaid WILL THE
EVER COLLECT
COUNTY OF MAUI
ITS DEFERRAL AGREEMENTS
Debts? BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO
T
he war in Maui County over deferral agreements is raging again. It flares up now and then through the years, only to dissipate a few weeks later. Silent for the last couple years, the issue began getting discussed last month. In fact, county officials are insisting that the problem may even be coming to an actual solution. A relatively ancient anecdote is in order. Back in 2002, when the County of Maui
10 JANUARY 17, 2013
first began talking of the Lower Honoapiilani Highway “Phase IV” development between Kahana and Napili, West Maui resident Christopher Salem visited an engineer who worked for the county. Salem, who lived in the area, had some infrastructure improvement ideas: speed control devices, using indigenous stone walls to replace the current steel barricades, and even burying overhead power lines underground to improve the neighborhood’s aesthetics. According to Salem, the engineer looked over his proposal,
then said the county had no money to make those kinds of improvements. “What about the funds from the multiple developer reimbursement agreements along Phase IV?” Salem said he asked. “Ah, we never collect those,” Salem said the engineer told him. “Ever?” “Never.” Ah, deferral agreements. I had first heard of these a year or two after Salem’s meeting, when I was discussing land develop-
ment with then-Maui County Council member Jo Anne Johnson (now named Jo Anne Johnson Winer, she went to work in 2011 as the county transportation director). Deferral agreements were one of her perennial bugbears–an itch in the county’s planning/public works/finance nexus that, no matter how much she scratched at it, never seemed to get better. Put simply, deferral agreements were deals the County of Maui used to strike with those who wanted to divide up their
take many months of research to find deferral agreements through the 33 years that this provision was in existence.” As for how much money that added up to, Johnson estimated that the figure would run into the “millions of dollars.” Councilman Mike Victorino, who at that point had been on the council for four years, admitted during the hearing that he’d known nothing of deferral agreements, and what he was hearing “astonished” him. “And it’s astonishing that 33 years and some seven Administrations and I don’t know how many Councils in between, this has just languished and languished,” he said, according to the hearing minutes.
The next day, The Maui News ran a story on the hearing under the pretty sensational but nonetheless accurate headline “County unpaid for roadwork for decades.” And then, as is often the case where these types of things are concerned, nothing changed. For all his talk of being “astonished,”Victorino apparently didn’t do anything after the hearing (he did not return a phone call for this story). But Salem, the guy who discovered more than a decade ago the untapped potential of deferral agreements, decided to do something. There were two reasons for this. First, he had also worked as a County Council aide, and was very familiar with both engineering and legislative matters.
PHOTO BY FOREST AND KIM STARR
land into three lots or less. The landowners had a choice: pay for whatever sidewalk, pavement, curb or gutter improvements were needed right then, or defer the payment. The practice began in 1974, and was mainly to help local families divide up their land for their offspring without having to become full-fledged developers. Even simple questions like how many of these agreements exist aren’t simple to answer. According to Maui County Public Works Director David Goode, a mid-2011 search by his office discovered 600 such agreements. That seems great, except that in 2010, his predecessor Milton Arakawa told the Maui County Council Planning Committee that his office found about “1,700” agreements. “That was before we did our count,” Goode told me. “The previous number, I can only imagine, is an estimate.” Goode, by the way, was County Public Works Director back in 2002 when Salem first found out that the county “never” collects deferral agreements. A decade later, in 2012, Goode lamented to the County Council during budget hearings how “crazy” the whole situation had gotten. “[I]n some cases, especially in West Maui, the original three-lot subdivision was a huge piece of land that went halfway up the mountain,” Goode said during an April 19, 2012 budget hearing. “And so there’s a possibility there’s going to be some deferral agreements where theoretically there’s 1,000 different owners and they each owe us $25. I mean it’s getting really crazy.” In any case, the issuing of these deferral agreements to those building three lots or less ended in 2007 after a number of problems emerged. First, as Salem discovered five years earlier, the county simply didn’t collect any of the deferred monies. The deferral agreements just sat there, without the landowners making any payments, even as county officials actually went ahead and made some of the required infrastructure improvements. “This is money,” Johnson said at a Nov. 15, 2010 Maui County Council Planning Committee hearing on the matter. “It’s not owed to me. It’s not owed to Public Works. This is taxpayer money that is able to be collected if we would simply send people a bill for their proportionate share of whatever the improvements were made to the frontage abutting their property.” They did this, county public works officials admitted years later, because they had very little notion of who exactly owed them what. Just how many of these deferral agreements hadn’t yet been paid, how many infrastructure improvements were made without first securing payment–even figuring out how many deferral agreements actually existed–were all unknowns at the County of Maui, even as late as 2010. “[W]e intend to collect the necessary information on deferral agreements as we need it,” then-Public Works Director Milton Arakawa told the Council’s Planning Committee at a Nov. 15, 2010 hearing (this is the same hearing when he threw out the 1,700 figure that Goode disputes. “There are approximately 4,900 subdivision files at Kalana Pakui and an, an additional 5,800 files in storage. And, of course, not all of these have deferral agreements. So we do not need the information, all of this information, at the current time. And it would
Those are paid for, right?
...The county simply didn’t collect any of the deferred monies. The deferral agreements just sat there, without the landowners making any payments, even as county officials actually went ahead and made some of the required infrastructure improvements. “And I, I’ll take responsibility, four years, I’ve just heard about it. I’ve never had any idea what the heck was going on. And now, now to have some reality set in, Mr. Chair, it’s astonishing. But this could be millions and millions and millions of dollars that is due this County. And the problem is maybe some people even passed away, you know, people have left, sold it six, seven times, I don’t know.” Victorino’s last point, about the possibility of properties with deferral agreements on the books getting sold and re-sold, throwing the question of who owed the county what completely askew, was important. At the hearing, Arakawa agreed that property sales since the agreement made it all that more difficult to figure out dollar amounts. Then Victorino called for action. “But it’s the point that this County is due this money,” he said. “And whether the next Administration takes it on or not I think the, the Council should make it, you know, very much an important issue that we need to work on this problem along with a few others because these are monies that the people of Maui County are owed.”
And second, he owns a house in the Lower Honoapiilani Highway Phase IV area. In mid-2010, Salem received a letter (dated May 27, 2010) from Public Works Director Arakawa. “[W]e would like to provide you the following “Notice of Intent to Collect,” Arakawa wrote, referring to the fact that a deferral agreement was attached to his house, which was in the Phase IV project area. “As part of this project, the County will be seeking a payment of a pro rata share of roadway improvements as included in the terms of the deferral agreement.” The letter would have been alarming enough if Arakawa had stopped there. The letter included no due date, but was rather just a warning that such a collection notice would someday come. Deferral agreements are, after all, contingent liens–homeowners who don’t pay them risk foreclosure. But the letter also stated that the county didn’t actually have a “pro rata share of the costs” to give him. Instead, Arakawa’s letter said, Salem would have to negotiate his final share of the cost with the other original lot owners.
Title companies call that an “openended encumbrance”–a bill that, someday, will come due in some amount that’s yet undetermined. Good luck selling a home– much less getting it appraised–with that attached to your deed. Needless to say, Arakawa’s letter outraged Salem. It was one thing to ask him to pay a bill–that was perfectly reasonable. But to put in writing that someday he’d have to pay an indeterminate amount that he’d have to negotiate himself? That was too much. “He didn’t have the authority to send that letter,” Salem said. “There is no formula adopted by ordinance for the assessment and collection of these agreements. The county Charter says assessments have to be adopted by the Council.” Salem, who spent about 15 years working for the County Council, then wrote up the “Fairness Bill” (dubbed PC-17). The bill, said Salem, would get all the deferment agreements off the county’s books and set up a method of collecting whatever money was still owed to the county. It would develop a formula for assessing and collecting the agreement amounts. He said it was partly based on a similar county parks ordinance. “There already is an ordinance with parks,” Salem said. “If you develop, you give up land for a park or pay a fee. That came out in 1987, and is exactly what’s needed for deferral agreements.” Of course, Salem said there was a three lots or less exemption built into the parks ordinance as well. Anyway, the Fairness Bill seemed to be moving along until early December. Then, Salem said, Councilmember Don Couch suddenly killed it. What’s more, the bill was not rolled over to the next council session. According to Couch, the bill was “auto-filed,” meaning that if a council member didn’t ask for it to come up again during the next term, it was filed away. His reason, he told me, was that the bill simply wasn’t necessary. “The Department of Public Works is going ahead with deferral agreements where applicable, and not going ahead where nothing is going on. When they come up, I’m guessing a lot of them get rectified.” Goode agreed. “When the county comes in and does a project, then we would exercise the agreements,” he said. “We’re coming up on our first project now where we’d send out a letter [to those with deferral agreements].” The project, Goode explained, is the Lower Honoapiilani Highway Phase IV development that affects Salem. As for Salem’s “Fairness Bill,” Goode said it that the County Corporation Counsel’s office had said it wasn’t legal. “There was discussion on amending the law,” Goode said. “But our attorneys said that you can’t. It’s a done deal and we have to live with it. I don’t think at this point that there’s any way to change the deal. It wouldn’t fly.” For his part, Salem says he still concludes that the Maui County Charter is clear on this. “The park fee ordinance does have a formula for collection,” he said. “They’re never acknowledging these things. Will they acknowledge them in this year’s budget?” ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1631L
JANUARY 17, 2013
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Food & Drink
Frozen Treats Da Local Banana sells delicious e elicious dairy-free chocolate-covered bananas na as BY JEN RUSSO is simply rolled in almonds. The Skinny is a banana dipped only in chocolate. They’re all scrumptious, and fairly healthy for a frozen treat. Bananas are naturally low in fat and sodium, but are a good source of potassium, fiber and vitamin B6. “We make sure that only one topping is out on our tables at a time and that the tables are sanitized after as not to mix the toppings for allergy reasons,” says Gneiting. “Our Wailuku-based commercial kitchen is a dairy-free kitchen that’s also rented out to two other tenants who cook raw foods.
Da Local Banana Stand
I
t’s not everyday we get a bananagram at the MauiTime offices. If you’re not familiar with the bananagram, it’s an absolutely delicious locally made frozen banana treat that shows up at your door, delivered by smiling girls Melissa Abraham and Megan Gneiting. Those of us monkeys who were still working Wednesday afternoon gladly took up various flavors of the treats. Some were coated in mac nuts, others coconut, but all of them were covered in ‘Da Local Banana’s signature non-dairy chocolate coating. Mother Nature had her thinking cap on when she created the banana. It makes the most incredible ice cream with nothing more than temperature change–and no cow needed. Of course, it’s ironic that the banana grows best in the tropics and until refrigeration came along there was no way for people to indulge in them except pos-
Melissa Bruschi
sibly here in Hawaii, where cold temperaw ture at high elevationss made it possible. Bananas grow prettyy well on Maui. They like the hot sun and they hey can drink gray water from washing orr outdoor showers. Their leaves can make feed and dried parts f of the trunk can be used seed for weaving materials. Banana trees make k a lot of fruit, too. ke Owner Melissa Bruschi usschi says she wanted to open up a shop with itth something the local community wass going to love. First, she uses the thick and d sweet local Williams (Cavendish) bananas from Jared n nanas Mateaki at Mana n’ Sons on ns Farm. Da Local Banana makes their own m special recipe, non-dairy daairy dark chocolate for their beautiful fu ul bananas. They work out of a commercial meercial kitchen in Wailuku and carefully lyy roll them in other toppings to make a their line ake of killer dessert bananas. an nas. “We wait two to three e minutes ee for chocolate and toppings in ngs to harden and then place bags b over the top of the banana naana and heat seal the bottom,” says saays Gneiting. “On our wholeollesale bananas, we place custom designed labelss on them that present our logo on the front and the ingredients list/ barcode on back. We freeze them again in labeled freezerr boxes until they go out to the stand or are delivered to our wholesale accounts.” Their bananas come in several different flavors: Hulapalooza, which is rolled in coconut and macadamia nuts; Yellow Polka Dot Bikini, rolled in fresh coconut; Automac-nut, rolled in fresh Maui macadamia nuts; Da Big Kahuna, which is dipped in chocolate and peanut butter, then rolled in peanuts and sea salt; and the W/nutz, which
One of the girls, Amy Alexander, has her own vegan cupcake line called ‘Baked by Amy’ and we sell her cupcakes at our stand.” The stand operates roadside at Makena Beach, where you’ll find the girls hacking cold coconuts open for customers, as well as selling frozen
banana ba treats, tre fruit ffru kabobs, kka tthe vegan cupcakes, ccup water and wa w juice. ju uic Prices for fo or small bananas ba ana start star rt at $3, Skinny the Sk is $5 5 aand the toppings fancyy to $6.. SSmall are $6 coconuts coconut ts are $6 large while lar rge ones Their are $8. The eir vegan $3 or cupcakes aree $ Ask two for $5. As sk for their discount–it gets kama’aina discou un you 50 cents off. Local You will find Da Lo oc Banana cart from Sunday to Friday in Makena, running from m aabout Saturdays, 10am to 5:30pm. On Satur rda they Kahului. are at the Maui Swap Meet in Ka Da Local Banana is also a regularr aat Wailuku Market First Friday–look for the cart on Ma ark Street. their If you’re not close to any of the eir locaprobably at tions, that’s fine because they are p pr Local a store near you. Look for Da Loca al Banana Carry, treats at Hawaiian Moons, Cash n Ca Foods, Ulupalakua Ranch Store, Mana Foo od Down Mini to Earth, Morihara Store, Tom’s Mi ini Mart Market. and the Honokowai Farmer’s Mark ke ■ jen@mauitime.com + @ @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit MauiT MauiTime’s Tim food blog at: mau mauidish.com uid To share or save this aart article, type: mt.hy.p mt.hy.pr/1631d1 pr/
Meg Gneiting and Melissa Abraham
JANUARY 17, 2013 13
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Food & Drink
‘Vibrant and Vivacious’ San Francisco mixologist Manny Hinojosa shows off his cocktail knowledge at the Westin Ka‘anapali Ocean Villas BY JEN RUSSO
Gottesman and Hinojosa at the Westin
Ocean Pool Bar & Grill Westin Ka‘anapali Ocean Resort Villas 6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali 866-500-8313 westinkaanapali.com
M
aui gets a bad rap for being behind the times. Is this is a little tropical island 3,000 miles away from everything–too far away to be trendy? The Westin Ka‘anapali Ocean Villas decided that this was not the case with their cocktail menu, so Food and Beverage Director Bob Megargle graciously invited San Francisco Bay Area mixology expert Manny Hinojosa to the property to show the staff the ropes. “His superb craftsmanship combined with superb knowledge of ingredients influenced the resort’s seasonal cocktails,” says Megargle. “Manny explored and experimented with a variety of fresh fruits, vegetables and botanicals native to Maui and the Hawaiian Islands to create signature cocktails. Our solid partnership with local farmers and vendors complemented the food and beverage team’s passion to introduce a new and trendy cocktail culture and promote Maui and Hawaii as an educational cocktail destination with a vibrant and vivacious edge to ‘pau hana’ sessions and themed events.” Hinojosa was immediately impressed to find an herb garden and fruits growing on the resort property–within harvesting distance of the bar, in fact. Having consulted for Food Network and Guy Fieri and participated in the James Beard Celebrity Chef Tour cocktail and food pairing dinner with chefs Michael Symon and Jonathan Waxman, there was no telling what direction he would take the menu. Hinojosa says he comes from humble
origins, growing up in Mexico City and working as a bartender. He says keeping the ingredients fresh and recipes simple is the key to his winning approach to handcrafted. He likes to make simple syrups and juices in house. “My garden-inspired theme evolved into a series of cocktails using freshly grown lemon verbena, Thai chilies, local herbs and more,” he says. “The bartending and beverage associates representing the resort’s restaurants and bars, including Ocean Pool Bar & Grill, were most enthusiastic as we worked together in finessing the cocktail recipes. We created fresh fruit juices and syrups such as Maui sugar cane syrup and Maui pineapple juice to make the cocktails fresh and rich with local flavors.” Part of the handcrafted mixology trend is education. Its roots lie in tasting and trying combinations of flavors to expand your palate in workshops where bartenders show off their skills, but it also breaks down the mysteries of the concoctions and gives you the guts to try this at home. So the Westin Ka‘anapali Ocean Villas set up an outdoor mixologist workshop. There, Hinojosa accompanied Hawaii’s own mixologist Joey Gottesman to show guests and the public the alchemy behind his new cocktail designs. Hinojosa demonstrated that creating your own cranberry juice is a cinch and it tastes incredible compared with that found on store shelves. “Our concept is simple: we have come to Hawaii to learn and introduce a classic twist to the theme of sustainability,” says Megargle. “It’s ‘the meeting of the minds’–possessing the knowledge of what we have already learned in our journeys as we design timeless cocktails and recognize the ingredients in the Hawaiian Islands. The agricultural richness impacts and innovates the characteristics of the cocktail trend.” As the sun set on the West Side, Gottesman and Hinojosa demonstrated three drinks: the Smash, a Scotch cock-
tail with homemade cran and raspberries; the coconut hibiscus mojito; and the lemon Verbena strawberry fizz. The Smash is amazing–people who don’t usually drink Scotch are going to be surprised at how well it goes down. Brilliant and bright cranberry and raspberry flavors perk up the smoky and woodsy Scotch. The coconut hibiscus mojito is a pleasant twist on that popular rum drink, and now I know what to do with Bacardi Rock Coconut. As for the lemon Verbena strawberry fizz, it’s a great way to use the strawberries that grow year-round in Kula, accompanied with homemade lemon verbena syrup and vodka. It’s a refreshing enough to drink in the summer, too. Of course, the drinks are featured on the menu at the Ocean Pool Bar and Grill, so you don’t have to get dirty if you want to taste them. You can just come down and enjoy along with the sunset views, their Taco Tuesday or Crab Fest night. “Among my many journeys and travels all over the country to help define cocktail menus for restaurants, bar and night spots, I have found Hawaii to be a truly extraordinary destination,” says Hinojosa. “The tropical climate helps nurture fruits, vegetables and herbs that we could introduce with a sustainable twist when designing cocktails, similar to the culinary experience and chefs’ partnership with local farmers.” ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1631d2
Try these drinks at home: THE SMASH 1 oz. Dewar’s 12 1 oz. Disaronno 5 fresh raspberries (muddle) 1 small sprig of mint (muddle) 1/2 oz. Lime juice 2 oz. Cranberry juice (homemade) Cranberry Juice 4 cups water, 1 Cranberry, ½ cup sugar Bring to a boil, blend and strain. Refrigerate for two weeks. Glass: Collins glass Method: 1. In a mixing glass, add raspberries and mint, then muddle. 2. Add the rest of the ingredients. 3. Ice, shake and serve over the rocks with new ice in an old fashioned glass. 4. Garnish with a sprig of fresh mint. COCONUT HIBISCUS MOJITO 2 oz. Bacardi Rock Coconut 1 oz. Homemade hibiscus flower syrup 1 oz. lime juice 1 sprig of fresh mint 1 to 2 oz. Club Soda (Combined) Glass: Collins glass Method: 1. In a mixing glass, muddle fresh mint, add Bacardi rum, hibiscus syrup, fresh lime juice and ice. 2. Shake and serve over the rocks. 3. Top with club soda. 4. Garnish with a sprig of fresh mint and fresh hibiscus flower and hibiscus flower rim. LEMON VERBENA STRAWBERRY FIZZ 1 1/2 oz. Grey Goose original ½ oz. Campari ¾ oz. homemade lemon verbena syrup 1 oz. local strawberry ¾ oz. fresh press lemon juice seltzer water (to top drink)
Method: 1. In a mixing glass, muddle strawberry. 2. Add Grey Goose, Aperol, Verbena syrup, lemon juice and ice. 3. Shake, and serve topped with club soda. 4. Garnish with lemon verbena and lemon wheel.
Coconut Hibiscus Mojito
Verbena Syrup Recipe: 1. Boil 2 cups of water with 3 – 8” Sprigs of fresh Lemon Verbena Leaves. 2. Stir in 2 cups of white cane sugar, remove from heat. 3. Cool to room temperature and refrigerate. 4. Note: Remains fresh up to 10 days.
JANUARY 17, 2013 15
A&E
Ballin’ On A Budget BY KEO EATON
Cafe Mambo
SEAN
MICHAEL HOWER
PHOTO + VIDEO
808.250.1788 MAUIWEDDINGMEDIAS.COM
Located just 10 minutes from the airport on the North Shore of eccentric Paia Town, Café Mambo is the perfect place to treat an out-of-town friend on a layover for a drink or three without worrying about denting your recession rebooted budget. Because seven days a week from 3pm-6pm Café Mambo boasts a tasty happy hour, offering a delicious assortment of margaritas and beer in an attractive, bright setting with friendly staff to boot. At $4.50 a cocktail and $3.50 beers on tap, you’ll have the luxury to spoil your out-of-town guest with the in-house pupu favorites. At $15.95, the Mixed Tapas–a vegetarian selection of homemade hummus, pita bread, fresh falafel, Spanish tortilla, onion rings, chipotle salsa, sour cream and mixed green salad– is enough to hold over a thirsty party of three. If seafood is your craving, the
Pacific Seafood Platter is a rich choice, complete with sizzling jumbo shrimp, calamari and New Zealand mussels cooked in garlic butter, white wine, fresh herbs and caramelized onions served with ciabatta bread for $21.50, will have your guest feeling all kinds of special when you insist on picking up the check. At these prices, a party of three can enjoy a Seafood platter, plate of Mixed Tapas and two delicious margaritas each at a bill under $68. You’ll have your guest overfed, buzzed in the head, all without spending all your bread. In a couple hours, you would have won the dopest friend of the year award while your guests rush through the TSA line with warm fuzzies, all smiling about their time on Maui. Mission Accomplished! keo@mauitime.com + @keomai To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1631p1
MAUI FOOD + DRINK WITH MAUITIME
FLAVOR
.com 16 JANUARY 17, 2013
Picks
BY MARINA SATOAFAIGA @sandtothecity
THURSDAY, TH T HU UR R S DAY, JJAN. 17 RS H BALDWIN ANNUAL MEETING – The community is invited HP to join H P Baldwin’s High School Foundation’s fourth annual meeting. Learn more about the school and scholarship program. Donors, alumni, staff and community are welcome to join. If you plan on attending, please RSVP to the number below. 5pm. H P Baldwin High School, Library Workroom. (1650 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Wailuku); 808-878-3778 or 808-270-6901, hpbaldwinhighschoolfoundation.org.
THURSDAY, JAN. 17
KEIGWIN & CO. DANCE – Make way for a visually stunning presentation as Keigwin & Company display their electrifying brand of contemporary dance. Founded in 2003 by Larry Keigwin, Keigwin & Co. has entertained national and international audiences with dance that embodies a theatrical sensibility of heart, wit and style. The company has performed at venues including The John F. Kennedy Center, the American Dance Festival and The Joyce Theater. Keigwin has more than a dozen original dances on its roster, including large choreographed pieces titled Bolero, Runaway, Sidewalk and most recently Bird Watching. Don’t miss this national phenom as they grace MACC’s stage. $12- $45. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Castle Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, mauiarts.org.
FRIDAY, JAN. 18 KUANA TORRES KAHELE – Destined for a life in music, Kuana Torres Kahele was born into a long line of Hawaiian music legends. His talent would garner him an induction as one of his permanent musicians for Halau Ka Ua Kani Lehua. In 2011, Kuana released his highly anticipated solo album filled with original music composed by the musician himself. Tied with Keali’i Reichel for the most Na hoku Hanohano awards from a Hawaiian music artist in 2012, Kahele is a force to be reckoned with. $25-$45. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, McCoy Studio Theater 7469, mauiarts.org. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469,
KABOOM – Casanova is kicking off “Reggae Thursdays” with a KABOOM. Yes, a night dedicated to Reggae, dancehall and island vibes. Skank to resident selecta/mc DJ Irie Dole of Ja Warrior Shelter HiFi. The night will include DJs and entertainers to take you into the wee hours. $5 before 10pm/ $10 after. 9:30pm-1:30am. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220, casanovamaui.com.
FRIDAY, JAN. 18 WOVEN ROOTS – Woven Roots makes a stop on their Respect All Things Tour on the Southside. Hailing from the Pacific Northwest, Woven Roots draws inspiration from their woodland surroundings. Using music as a vessel to spread a message of love and understanding for our planet’s finite resources, the band has more than 60 songs encouraging respect and reciprocity for our planet’s natural systems. Communicating positive change of environmentally sound methods and lifestyles, Woven Roots strives to stray from mainstream. Diamonds Ice Bar & Grill. (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-9299, facebook.com/wovenroots.
MAKAWAO THIRD FRIDAY – “Makawao Gets Fit and nd wn Healthy” is the theme for this month’s Third Friday Town ou Party. The evening will be dedicated to a healthier you hs and fresh starts. Enjoy live music and information booths ds, for local organizations and refreshments at Maui Hands, ot) which will feature knifemaker Kaipo. Indulge in (or not) ty. food vendors, family friendly activities and community. nd Free. 6pm-9pm. Makawao (Between Baldwin and Makawao Avenues), mauifridays.com.
FRIDAY, JAN. 18
SATURDAY, JAN. 19
MAT KEARNEY – Oregon-born and Nashville-based singer-songwriter Mat Kearney is making a stop on the Valley Isle. Critically acclaimed since the debut of his formal full-length album Nothing Left to Lose, Kearney has earned four Top 20 hits on the Adult Top 40 charts. He has toured with John Mayer, Sheryl Crow and The Fray. His music can be heard on shows like Grey’s Anatomy, The Hills and NCIS. $20 in advance/ $25 on show day. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Castle Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, mauiarts.org.
HALIE LOREN – Jazz singer Halie Loren has already charmed audiences internationally and now she’s bringing her talent to Hawaii. With four number one albums in Japan, her album Heart First went to number one in Canada and topped the charts here in the US garnering Jazz Critique Magazine’s 2011 “Golden prize” in the Vocal Jazz Album category. She released a live album Stages internationally and re-released a deluxe version of “They Oughta Write a Song” in Japan. $25. 8:30pm-10:30pm. Gannon’s Restaurant (100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-875-8080, gannonsestaurant.com.
SATURDAY, JAN. 19 PATO BANTON AND THE NOW GENERATION – You can always use more love and positivity! Pato Banton and The Now Generation strive to spread just that through their music. A compilation of Southern California residents, Pato Banton and The Now Generation are talented musicians who have worked with The Breddrin, Gregory Isaacs, Maxi Priest and Beres Hammond. Based largely on feedback from the audience, Pato Banton creates an interactive environment encouraging dialogue that references current events and spirituality while keeping the vibes upbeat and fun. $20 presale/ $25 door. 9pm. Stella Blues (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-3779, stellablues.com.
SATURDAY, JAN. 19 NATIONAL SERVICE DAY – Habitat for Humanity is celebrating National Service Day in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. Inspired by Dr. King’s commitment to social change and community, here’s your chance to give back to the community in this beautiful display of unity. Here are some organizations with projects: Habitat for Humanity–Harbor Lights demolition and restoration; Community Work Day–planting a keiki garden and wetland restoration; The Maui Farm–building blocks of life. Call to learn how you can join and make your positive change for a better America by starting lo ocal. 808 7150, handso local. 808- 270 270-7150, handsonmaui.com.
CAT SPAY/NEUTER CLINIC – 9th Life Hawaii is hosting a free/low cost feline spay/neuter clinics over six days in January and this Saturday kicks off the cat-tastic festivities. Maui’s largest non-profit, no kill cat rescue and sanctuary welcomes owned, feral, stray and colony cats. No pregnant cats will be allowed. Volunteers will pick up cats at designated locations and transport them to the clinic, returned later the same day. Call for more information on reserving a spot. $35/ FREE if a hardship. 808-573-3365, 9thlifehawaii.org.
SUNDAY, JAN. 20 BROADWAY POPS – Maui Pops Orchestra, along with Broadway actors Gary Mauer and Elizabeth Southard, will take the MACC stage for an evening honoring a classic collection of Broadway songs. There will be songs from Les Miserables, West Side Story and Chicago along with performances of “I Got Rhythm,” “Music of the Night” and “Gypsy.” Mauer and Southard are known for singing lead in Andrew Lloyd Webber’s production of The Phantom of The Opera. Get a taste of an authentic Broadway production with island flare. $10-$45. 3pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Castle Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, mauiarts.org.
MONDAY, MO M OND DAY AY, Y, JAN. 2 21 MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. MARCH – All are invited to participate in an out outwardly expression of remembrance, though county officials ask that you leave any signs at home. The Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. march wil will be held on Monday to commemorate his strides towards endin ing segregation. Opening ceremonies will begin at 8:30am at the S Stone of Hope (200 High St., Wailuku), followed by Mayor Alan Arakawa’s reading of the Proclamation by the County of Maui. The march will end at Wailuku Coffee Company (26 N. Market St., Wailuku.) Festivities will then continue at the Queen Ka’ahumanu Center stage from 1pm-3pm. Free. 8:30am. Stone of Hope Monument (200 High St., Wailuku); 808878-8434, africanamericansonmaui.com.
NEW SHANGHAI CIRCUS – The New Shanghai Circus is back for thrills, chills and more! Passed on from farmers and craftsmen, the performers’ acrobatic skills date back generations. Back with more layers of complexity and stunts, be thrilled by the dazzling show and risky technique. Enjoy jumping, twirling and leaping, all without worrying that it may be your children. $12-$28. Monday, 4pm and 7:30pm; Tuesday, 7pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Castle Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, mauiarts.org.
JANUARY 17, 2013
17
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Body SPIRIT
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You know Maui Time Weekly’s Mind, Body & Spirit section is the island’s only weekly guide to alternative health care, fitness, nutrition and lifestyle.
Deadline: Jan. 18th Publishes: Jan. 24th
Now get ready for our tenth annual special Mind, Body & Spirit Issue, where we will explore some of the fascinating and revolutionary ways in which you can enhance your health and soul.
Call and reserve your space today! Brad Bradat at808-283-3260 808-283-3260or orbrad@mauitime.com brad@mauitime.com Tommy Tommyat at808-283-0512 808-283-0512or ortommy@mauitime.com tommy@mauitime.com
18 JANUARY 17, 2013
Film
The Search For Osama Historically accurate or not, ‘Zero Dark Thirty’ is an amazing movie BY BARRY WURST II
Zero Dark Thirty ★★★★★ Rated R / 120 Min.
K
athryn Bigelow is the only female action movie director, a title that may even sell short how good her movies are, as they aren’t just explosion-filled popcorn movies. She’s been making films for 30 years, constantly about the expectations of gender roles in a male-dominated society and with an intensity uncommon in most American movies. To be utterly frank and even crude, Bigelow’s movies kick ass. Her films are tougher, more violent, smarter and have bigger balls than anything made by Michael Bay on his best day. She is the first female filmmaker to win the Best Director Oscar, for her remarkable The Hurt Locker, and her gift for helming raw, uncompromised and enormously entertaining thrillers can be viewed in earlier films Strange Days, Point Break and Blue Steel, genre movies with uncanny technical prow-
ess and shocking violence. Her career stalled 10 years ago with the respectable but high profile flop K19-The Widowmaker, a submarine drama that focused on the horrific condition of a doomed Russian crew. The Hurt Locker was her triumphant comeback and now, with Zero Dark Thirty, she surpasses it. The hunt for Osama Bin Laden by a team of tireless young CIA operatives is, like The Hurt Locker, told without a political agenda or point of view, allowing the story to never become pro-Obama propaganda or even a commercial for patriotism. Instead of a Jerry Bruckheimer-style action movie or a military ad-turned-movie like Act of Valor, this shapes the hunt for the mastermind of 9/11 into a human story about the search for truth and how it can change those who become obsessed with finding it. Like JFK and Zodiac, we follow a cluster of intelligent, even tempered young men and women who, over the course of many years, became fatigued by the dark, unexpected places the hunt for Bin Laden took them, on the map and within themselves. Following a respectful but no less disturbing opening of calls made during 9/11 by
those trapped in the building, we immediately cut to a terrorist accomplice being tortured by U.S. military. Found him! These scenes aren’t easy to take but, right away, the dialogue and acting are on a sharper level than most other post 9/11 action movies, and the characters immediately draw you into the story. Jason Clarke is exceptional as a strangely sympathetic torturer; the actor reveals deeper levels as the job of torture for the sake of “good” takes a toll on the character. An excellent ensemble cast of character actors give every role, even the smallest of parts, dramatic weight. Chris Pratt, James Gandolfini, Kyle Chandler and Harold Perrineau, to name a few, give their every scene a lived-in feel. Best of all is Jessica Chastain as “Maya,” the fiercely committed agent whose unwavering commitment to finding Bin Laden is the heart of the film. Chastain is reportedly playing a real woman but also a stand-in for the film’s director, who can relate to the character’s being overlooked
and undervalued for being a woman. Bigelow remains in full command as a filmmaker, staging one difficult scene after another with the finesse and precision of a true film artist. Her film is long, grim and uncomfortably real but also riveting, never sentimental and, whether it’s 100 percent historically accurate or not, it tells a great story. It never resorts to glossy, easy thrills or Hollywood glamorization, as even the climactic siege on Bin Laden’s hideaway is staged to emphasize fear and the loss of human lives without patriotic chest thumping. It’s also one of the many excellent scenes you’ll walk away discussing repeatedly after the film ends. Time will tell if this becomes the definitive film on the subject but for now, don’t miss this amazing movie. ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1631f
JANUARY 17, 2013 19
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Film
Showtimes
WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT BY JENNA SCHAMBER
KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: Every day until 4pm)
Argo-R-THU 5:10, 7:45. FRI-WED 5:20, 8:00. Django Unchained-R-THU 12:00, 3:20, 7:00, 10:30. FRI-SUN 12:00, 3:20, 7:00, 10:30. MON-WED 12:00, 3:20, 7:00. Les Miserables-PG13-THU 12:30, 3:45, 7:20, 10:35. FRI-SUN 12:30, 3:45, 7:20, 10:35. MON-WED 12:30, 3:45, 7:20. Mama-R-FRI-SUN 10:45, 1:00, 3:15, 5:30, 7:45, 10:00. MON-WED 10:45, 1:00, 3:15, 5:30, 7:45. Parental Guidance-PG-THU 10:45, 12:50, 2:55, 5:00, 7:30. FRI-SUN 10:45, 12:50, 2:55, 5:00, 7:30, 9:40. MON-WED 10:45, 12:50, 2:55, 5:00, 7:30. The Guilt Trip-PG13-THU 10:45, 12:50, 2:55, 5:00, 7:25. FRI-WED 3:05, 10:40. The Hobbit-PG13-THU 10:30, 12:10, 1:55, 3:35, 7:00. FRI-SUN 12:10, 3:35, 7:00, 10:25. MON-WED 12:10, 3:35, 7:00. Wreck-It Ralph-PG-FRI-WED 10:30, 12:50.
MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, Kahului, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm)
A Haunted House-R-THU (2:15, 4:45), 7:25, 9:40. FRI (11:45, 2:15, 4:45), 7:25, 9:40. SATSUN (11:45, 2:15), 4:45, 7:25, 9:40. MON (11:45, 2:15), 4:45, 7:25, 9:40. TUE-WED (2:15, 4:45), 7:25, 9:40. Broken City-R-THU 10:00. FRI (1:45, 4:15), 7:00, 9:35. SAT-SUN (1:45), 4:15, 7:00, 9:35.
NEW THIS WEEK BROKEN CITY - R - Crime/Drama - An ex-
cop takes revenge on a crooked mayor who betrays him. Starring Mark Wahlberg and Russell Crowe. 109 min. THE LAST STAND - R - Action/Foolish-
ness - A Mexican drug cartel leader heads for the border, where former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and Johnny Knoxville are standing in his way. 107 min. MAMA - PG-13 - Horror - A couple raises
young nieces who were left alone in the forest for five years. Which is great and all, except maybe they weren’t alone at all... 100 min.
NOW PLAYING ARGO - R - Thriller - A CIA guy concocts
a risky plan to save six Americans during the 1979 Iranian Revolution. Ben Affleck stars and directs. 120 min. CIRQUE DU SOLEIL: WORLDS AWAY
- PG - Fantasy - Two young people look for each other. Sure, why not? 91 min. DJANGO UNCHAINED - R - Action,
Drama - Quentin Tarantino gives us Jamie Foxx as a slave-turned-bounty hunter trying to rescue his wife from a Mississippi plantation owner. 141 min. GANGSTER SQUAD - R - Crime/Drama -
MON (1:45), 4:15, 7:00, 9:35. TUE-WED (1:45, 4:15), 7:00, 9:35. Cirque Du Soleil: Worlds Away-PG-THU (2:20). Cirque Du Soleil: Worlds Away 3D-PG-THU (4:40), 6:55, 9:25. FRI (12:05, 2:20, 4:40), 6:55. SAT-SUN (12:05, 2:20), 4:40, 6:55. MON (12:05, 2:20), 4:40, 6:55. TUE-WED (2:20, 4:40), 6:55. Gangster Squad-R-THU (1:50, 4:35), 7:15, 9:55. FRI (1:50, 4:35), 7:15, 9:55. SAT-SUN (1:50), 4:35, 7:15, 9:55. MON (1:50), 4:35, 7:15, 9:55. TUE-WED (1:50, 4:35), 7:15, 9:55. Jack Reacher-PG13-THU (3:00), 6:30, 9:45. FRI (12:10, 3:00), 6:30, 9:45. SAT-SUN (12:10, 3:00), 6:30, 9:45. MON (12:10, 3:00), 6:30, 9:45. TUE-WED (3:00), 6:30, 9:45. Life of Pi-PG-THU-WED (2:45). Life of Pi 3D-PG-THU (5:45), 8:45. FRI (11:50, 5:45), 8:45. SAT-SUN (11:50), 5:45, 8:45. MON (11:50), 5:45, 8:45. TUE-WED (5:45), 8:45. Lincoln-PG13-THU (1:45, 5:05), 8:15. FRI (1:55, 5:05), 8:15. SAT-SUN (1:55), 5:05, 8:15. MON (1:55), 5:05, 8:15. TUE-WED (1:55, 5:05), 8:15. Promised Land-R-THU (2:00, 4:30), 7:00. Silver Linings Playbook-R-THU (1:40, 4:25), 7:10, 10:00. FRI (1:40, 4:25), 7:10, 9:50. SAT-SUN (1:40), 4:25, 7:10, 9:50. MON (1:40), 4:25, 7:10, 9:50. TUE-WED (1:40, 4:25), 7:10, 9:50. Texas Chainsaw-R-THU (2:50). Texas Chainsaw 3D-R-THU (5:10), 7:30. FRI-WED 9:25. The Impossible-PG13-THU (1:35, 4:10),
6:50, 9:35. FRI (1:35, 4:10), 6:50, 9:30. SAT-SUN (1:35), 4:10, 6:50, 9:30. MON (1:35), 4:10, 6:50, 9:30. TUE-WED (1:35, 4:10), 6:50, 9:30. The Last Stand-R-THU 10:00. FRI (12:00, 2:30, 4:55), 7:30, 10:00. SAT-SUN (12:00, 2:30), 4:55, 7:30, 10:00. MON (12:00, 2:30), 4:55, 7:30, 10:00. TUE-WED (2:30, 4:55), 7:30, 10:00. This Is 40-R-THU (2:30, 5:30), 8:25. FRI (11:35, 2:35, 5:30), 8:25. SAT-SUN (11:35, 2:35), 5:30, 8:25. MON (11:35, 2:35), 5:30, 8:25. TUE-WED (2:35, 5:30), 8:25. Zero Dark Thirty-R-THU (1:30, 5:00), 8:30. FRI (1:30, 5:00), 8:30. SAT-SUN (1:30), 5:00, 8:30. MON (1:30), 5:00, 8:30. TUE-WED (1:30, 5:00), 8:30.
WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day)
Gangster Squad-R-THU (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 9:35. FRI (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 9:30. SAT-MON (1:00), 4:00, 7:00, 9:30. TUE-WED (1:00, 4:00), 7:00, 9:30. Jack Reacher-PG13-THU (12:50, 4:15), 8:30. Mama-R-FRI (1:15, 3:45), 6:45, 9:15. SATMON (1:15), 3:45, 6:45, 9:15. TUE-WED (1:15, 3:45), 6:45, 9:15. Parental Guidance-PG-THU (12:45, 3:45), 6:45, 9:15. The Last Stand-R-FRI (1:30, 4:15), 7:05, 9:35. SAT-MON (1:30), 4:15, 7:05, 9:35. TUE-WED (1:30, 4:15), 7:05, 9:35.
Sean Penn and Ryan Gosling star in this look at how the LAPD fought East Coast organized crime in the 1940s and ‘50s. Think LA Confidential, but based on a true story. 113 min.
PARENTAL GUIDANCE - PG - Comedy -
THE GUILT TRIP - PG-13 - Comedy Barbra Streisand plays Seth Rogen’s mother. Nuff said. 95 min.
SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK - R Drama/Comedy - Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper star in this look at what happens when a former teacher moves back in with his parents after a stint in a mental institution. 122 min.
A HAUNTED HOUSE - R - Comedy -
When a guy and girl move into a haunted house, hilarity ensues. 95 min. THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY - PG-13 - Fantasy - Some Hobbit teams
up with a few dwarves to reclaim some treasure from a dragon. 169 min. THE IMPOSSIBLE - PG-13 - Drama
- Story of a family caught in the 2004 Asian tsunami. 107 min. JACK REACHER - PG-13 - Action - Tom Cruise plays detective Jack Reacher from Lee Childs’ popular series. 130 min. LES MISERABLES - PG-13 - Drama/
Musical - Hugh Jackman and Russell Crowe star in this epic musical taking place in the French Revolution. 158 min. LIFE OF PI - PG - Adventure - A young man
survives a shipwreck only to find himself trapped in a lifeboat with a Bengal tiger. 127 min. LINCOLN - PG-13 - Drama - Steven Spiel-
berg directs this sweeping look at Abraham Lincoln (Daniel Day-Lewis) and his decision to emancipate the slaves. 149 min.
HAPPY HOUR 3-6PM/DINNER MUSIC LIVE MUSIC ON THE PATIO 7 DAYS A WEEK FROM 4:3 4 :30 TTILL ILL 9 ILL 4:30 9PM
FRIDAY 1.18
ARISE AND
DJ MICKY G 10PM • NO COVER
SATURDAY 1.19
INNAVISION SATURDAYS 10PM • $5 COVER
SUNDAY 1.20
LOUISE LAMBERT 6:30PM • NO COVER
WEDNESDAY 1.23
BLUES WITH THE HOUSE SHAKERS 8:30PM • NO COVER
808.879.3133
1945 S Kihei Road, Suite G
Billy Crystal and Bette Midler look after the grand kids after their parents take off on a work trip. 105 min.
TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D - R - Horror - A young woman inherits an old house in Texas and goes there with her naive friends. We think you can fill in the rest... 92 min. THIS IS 40 - R - Comedy - Consider this a sequel to Judd Apatow’s Knocked Up. 134 min. WRECK-IT RALPH - PG - Animation - A
video game villain wants to be a hero, but creates much havoc in the process. 108 min. ZERO DARK THIRTY - R - Action/Drama - The story of the raid that killed Osama Bin Laden. See this week’s film critique. 120 min.
LAST CHANCE PROMISED LAND - R - Drama - Matt Damon plays a gas company salesman who experiences life-changing events in some small town. 106 min.
JANUARY 17, 2013 21
Calendar
VOTED BEST HAPPY HOUR ON MAUI!
1819 S. KIHEI RD. • 891.2414 11AM-2AM DAILY • DINNER ‘TIL 10PM
THURSDAY LIVE SALSA MUSIC W/ SATURDAY
NETO & BARBARA 7:30-10PM
FRIDAY BOSS LADY ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS
SEXY SOUTH $3 U CALL ITS 10PM • NO COVER
SATURDAY LIVE SALSA MUSIC W/
NETO & BARBARA 7:30-10PM FOLLOWED BY LIVE MUSIC WITH
EKOLU, EK OLU, LEAHI & LAWAI’A 10PM - CLOSE • $20 COVER
SUNDAY NFL PLAYOFFS PLAYOFFS 10AM
TUESDAY TACO TUESDAYS: 4-10PM $2.50
Tacos, Corona, Dos XX & Pacificos
WEDNESDAY LIVE MUSIC W/
GINA MARTINELLI 7:30-10PM
Da Kine Calendar BY JENNA SCHAMBER
BIG SHOWS
KEIGWIN & COMPANY - DANCE - Thu, Jan 17. See This Week’s Picks. $12, $32, $45. 7:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org KABOOM!! REGGAE THURSDAYS - Thu, Jan 17. See This Week’s Picks. $5 before 10pm, $10 after. 9:30pm-1:30am Casanova, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220; casanovamaui.com STELLA SUPPER CLUB WITH JOHN CRUZ - Fri, Jan 18. A 4-course dinner and show featuring contemporary Hawaiian music by Grammy and Na Hoku Hanohano award winner John Cruz. $60 4-course dinner & show, $30 show only. 6pm seating, 7:30pm show. Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-8743779; facebook.com/stellablues MAT KEARNY - Fri, Jan 18. See This Week’s Picks. $20/in advance, $25/on show day. 7:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org SOLO SESSIONS: KUANA TORRES KAHELE - Fri, Jan 18. See This Week’s Picks. $25/standard, $45/VIP with talk-story session at 6:30 pm. 7:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org THE KRYPTONES - Fri, Jan 18. Join The Kryptones in a night of jazz, funk and reggae with special guests Lia Live and Dani Girl. $10. 9pm Casanova, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-5720220; casanovamaui.com WOVEN ROOTS - Fri, Jan 18. See This Week’s Picks. Free. 10pm Diamonds Ice Bar & Grill, (1279 S. Kihei Rd. #314); 808-8749299; facebook.com/wovenroots BROWNCHICKEN BROWNCOW - Sat, Jan 19. The quirky gang from BrownChicken is back on Maui for their Shoyo Chicken Tour 2013. This all-acoustic string band blends old-time fiddle music with shades of gypsy, folk, jazz, celtic, and bluegrass. $15. 10pm Fleetwood’s on Front St., (744 Front Street, Lahaina); 808-669-6425; fleetwoodsonfrontst.com
Stella Blues Saturday, January 19 Doors Open 9pm Presale $20 / Door $25
Tickets available at venue and:
Request Music wailuku Alice in Hulaland paia Still Smokin kihei Lucky Bastard Tattoo kahului West Side Vibes lahaina
for more info: 808-620-4924 tickets@localpunks.net
22 JANUARY 17, 2013
HALIE LOREN IN CONCERT - Sat, Jan 19. See This Week’s Picks. $25/advance, $35/door. 8:30pm Gannon’s A Pacific View Restaurant, (100 Wailea Golf Club Drive); 808-875-8080; gannonsrestaurant.com WOVEN ROOTS - Sat, Jan 19. Roots Reggae band Woven Roots from Humboldt County with special guests Rootz ‘N Creation, Teomon and B.U.B.Z. $10. 10pm Casanova, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220; casanovamaui.com PATO BANTON AND THE NOW GENERATION - Sat, Jan 19. See This Week’s Picks. $20 presale/$25 at the door. 10pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201i); 808-8743779; patobanton.com SANDWICH ISLAND BASS & FRIENDS - Sat, Jan 19. DJ/production trio Sandwich Island Bass bring their moombahton, trap, and future bass beats to the stage, featuring Karen Be and opening set by Sweet. Visuals by Gabe Mott Colors/Ruebelle Secret Show. $10. 10pm Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon, (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085; hcharleysmaui.com MAUI POPS ORCHESTRA - BROADWAY POPS - Sun, Jan 20. See This Week’s Picks. $10, $25, $35, $45. 3pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org
NEW SHANGHAI CIRCUS - Mon, Jan 21 and Tue, Jan 22. See This Week’s Picks. $12, $22, $28. Monday, 4pm and 7:30pm; Tuesday, 7pm. Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org
FOODIE
EAT MORE KALE - Thu, Jan 17. Join Whole Foods each Thursday for simple and delicious recipes highlighting the incredibly versatile green that is Kale. Free. 5pm Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave #B, Kahului); 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui GREEN HAPPY HOUR - Fri, Jan 18. Each Friday at Whole Foods sample green smoothies that revitalize and re-energize. Kick off your weekend with a healthy shot of veggies. 3pm Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave #B, Kahului); 808872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui DETOX TUESDAY - Tue, Jan 22. Every Tuesday at Whole Foods sample green juices, 365 Organic samples, superfoods and more! 12pm Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave. #B, Kahului); 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui
TICKETS ON SALE
HAWAIIAN MOONLIGHT CONCERT - Fri, Jan 25. Join George Kahumoku Jr. and friends for a moonlight concert featuring live Hawaiian music. Local artists will be present to show and sell their art. $25. Soda and water will be available for sale. 6pm Bailey House Museum, (2375-A Main St., Wailuku); 808-244-3326; mauimuseum.org; baileyhousemuseum@clearwire.net ONE HOT WINTER’S NIGHT - Fri, Jan 25. Maui OnStage presents their second annual burlesque fundraiser. Following last year’s sellout performance, join the Kit Kat Club, Jim Oxboro, and host Charlie Dungans for an evening of sizzling hot entertainment. Doors at 6:45pm. Not suitable for children. $17-$28. 7:30pm Iao Theater, (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808242-6969; mauionstage.com ANNUAL SHINNEN ENKAI DINNER - Sat, Jan 26. The Japanese Cultural Society of Maui (JCS Maui) welcomes the Year of the Snake at its annual Shinnen Enkai (New Year) dinner. The Shinnen Enkai will begin with the traditional otoso (sake welcome) with no-host cocktail hour and dinner to follow. $50 Adults, $20 Children (5-10 years old), free for children ages five and under. Tickets are available through the Maui Box Shop and Credit Associates in Wailuku, and Sanrio at Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center. Tickets are limited. 5pm Elleair Rainbow Room, Maui Beach Hotel, (170 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-0051 MAUI MOTOWN PROM: AN EVENING OF SOUL - Sat, Jan 26. A vintage themed fundraiser featuring Motown Hits benefiting Jungle to Jungle 501c3. Event is hosted by Kathy Collins of Mana’o Radio and includes live performances from Danielle Delaunay, Shea Derrick and Nara Boone, DJs spinning motown classics, costumes, prom pictures, and a dance off!. $25 online. 7-11pm Maui Tropical Plantation, (1670 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Wailuku); 808244-7643; jungletojungle.org/events KINIMAKALEHUA: LIVING WATERS - Sat, Jan 26. Maui Arts & Cultural Center’s original hula drama that includes dance, chant, storytelling and dramatic interpretation by Na Kinimakalehua returns to Maui for a final curtain call. $12, $32, $40. 7:30pm MACC, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org
EBB & FLOW ENSEMBLE 2013 - Sun, Jan 27. Ebb & Flow Ensemble performs Schoenberg’s groundbreaking “String Quartet #2” in F sharp minor for soprano and string quartet. This masterpiece changed music forever with its new vistas of sound. Ebb & Flow Ensemble comprises Honolulu-based Rachel Schutz, soprano, Ignace Jang and Helen Liu on violin, Steven Flanter on viola, Joanna Morrison-Pernela, cello, and Maui’s Robert Pollock, composer/pianist. Enjoy a preconcert discussion at 4pm. $28. 5pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org CROWD FUNDING AND MORE TO JUMPSTART YOUR BUSINESS - Wed, Jan 30. Take advice from 4 industry experts in this business seminar. Deadline: Jan 23, 2013. This is a nonprofit collaborative special event of Maui Business Brainstormers (MBB) and Maui Native Hawaiian Chamber of Commerce (MNHCoC) with the sole purpose of bringing invaluable information to Maui Business Community. More info and RSVP on website. $22.00/per person. No admission at door. 5-8:30pm Location is shown only to members, meetup.com/MauiBusinessBrainstormers/events/58270942 MYSTIC ISLAND FESTIVAL - Thu, Jan 31 through Sun, Feb 3. Immerse yourself in 4 days of beachside camping and a cultural gathering of world music, electronica, reggae, visionary arts, workshops, healthy foods, and community. Weekend camping pass (Fri-Sun) $210 until Jan. 30th. Add Thurs, Jan. 31st for $20. $225 weekend pass at gate if available. A beachfront campground site TBA with ticket purchase, mysticislandfestival. com; info@mysticislandfestival.com TOUBAB KREWE - Thu, Jan 31. A night of sweet tunes from North Carolina-based instrumental powerhouse Toubab Krewe. The band creates a lush blend of rock rhythm, African traditions, jam sensibilities, international folk strains and more. $28 in advance, $38 on show day. 7:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242SHOW (7469); mauiarts.org MAPA PRESENTS “MAN OF LA MANCHA” - Fri, Feb 1 through Sun, Feb 3. Join MAPA for a performance of “Man of La Mancha”, one of the “most romantic, enduring and beloved musicals of all time.” Fri & Sat: 7:30pm and Sun: 2pm. Steppingstone Playhouse, (Queen Kaahumanu Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808244-8760; mauiacademy.org RUN AND WALK FOR THE WHALES - Sat, Feb 2. Runners and walkers, adults and kids, residents and visitors are invited to take part in this popular race -- one of Maui’s largest fun runs and walking events. Choose from the 5K walking event, 5K running race, 10K walking event, 10K running race, half marathon walking event and half marathon running race. There’s also a 2K running race for kids. Makena Beach & Golf Resort, (5400 Makena Alanui, Makena); 808-249-8811 ext. 2; flpregister.com/21; run@pacificwhale.org JUDY’S GANG IN SOS – SALUTE OUR SOLDIERS - Sat, Feb 2. Judy’s Gang will honor the brave soldiers and veterans who have given so much to our country in a Salute Our Soldiers. Judy’s tap and jazz dancers will be saluting these great Americans with song and dance numbers from the “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boys” days through the “Danger Zone” of today’s conflicts with a special salute to Vietnam veterans. $14/adults, $10/seniors, students & kids 6-12 years; free to kids 5 years & under. 7pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org
TheGRID
THURSDAY
FRIDAY
SATURDAY
SUNDAY
MONDAY-WEDNESDAY
1/17
1/18
1/19
1/20
1/21-1/23
FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM
ALE HOUSE
Envy Nightclub 9pm; $10 cover
355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001
AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011
DigiLuxe w/ DJ Kurt 10pm; no cover
Get Your Sexy On with DJ LaRage 10pm; no cover
BLUE LAGOON Wharf Cinema Center, 672 Front St., Lahaina - 667-0988
CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220
CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085
COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908
DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299
DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669
FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. 744 Front St. (Rooftop), Lahaina - 669-6425
HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010
HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400
EVENTS THURSDAY, JAN 17 PICNIC FOR POKI - Roselani Place and Ola Na Mele Productions invite you to a Picnic for Poki. Their featured guest with live Hawaiian entertainment will be Leohone, consisting of Maui musicians Ikaika Blackburn, Kamakoa Lindsay-Asing and Piilani Arias. Bring your lunch with you and enjoy fresh baked cookies from Roselani Place. Free. 11am Ka’ahumanu Hawaiian Congregational Church, (103 S. High St., Wailuku); 808-244-5189 “COLOR. LIGHT. SPACE.” VIDEO-LECTURE SESSION - A lecture and conversation on Light lead by Dick Nelson in relation to the “Color. Light. Space.” show, a launch exhibit project “designed to promote visual literacy in a duet combining an educational program.” Free. 4-5:30pm University of Hawaii Maui College, Heona 2 classroom, (310 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-984-3500; maui.hawaii.edu ANNUAL MEETING OF H.P. BALDWIN HIGH SCHOOL FOUNDATION - See This Week’s Picks. Please RSVP through Warren Shibuya at 878-3778 or Mel Ito at 270-6901. Free. 5pm Baldwin High School’s Library Workroom, (1650 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Wailuku); hpbaldwinhighschoolfoundation.org WES NISKER’S “AN EVENING OF CRAZY WISDONE” - Wes Nisker, Buddhist Meditation Teacher, renowned author/radio commentator and performer hosts an intimate evening of comedy, poetry, inspiration, mediation, contemplations and insights. $15 cash at door, limited seating. Snacks & beverages available. 7-9pm Lumeria Maui, (1813 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-8798877; wesnisker.com / lumeriamaui.com
FRIDAY, JAN 18 THE AUTHENTIC LOVER - Attn: Men! Looking for healthy, authentic intimacy in your relationship? Look no further. Join this weekend work-
WED - Karaoke w/ Sista Deva, 8pm-12:30am (all sets no cover)
Volcanic w/ DJ Playwfire Ono 10pm; no cover
MON - DJ Skinny Guy, 10pm / TUE - Toxic w/ DJ TRVR, 10pm / WED - Jacked Up with DJ J-Zen, 10pm (all sets no cover)
Salsa Night 9pm; no cover
Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4900
CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL
Sunrize Saturdaze w/ DJ Decka 10pm; no cover
DJ Jamn J 10pm; no cover
MON - Open Mic w/ MT, 10pm-close; no cover
Ladies Nite w/ DJ 10pm; no cover
Emily Joyce 7-9:30pm; no cover
Johnny Ringo 7-9:30pm; no cover
Kaboom!! Reggae Thursdays w/ DJ Irie Dole, 9:30pm $5 before 10pm, $10 after
The Kryptones w/ Lia Live and Dani Girl 9pm; $10
Woven Roots w/ Rootz ‘N Creation, Teomon & B.U.B.Z., 10pm; $10
Mark Johnstone & Lenny Castellanos Blues Duo 6:30-8:30pm; no cover
Fusion Friday w/ DJ Big Mike & DJ Kamikaze 10pm; free, $10 for men
Sandwich Island Bass & Friends feat. Karen Be 10pm; $10
NFL
MON - Open Mic & Jam, 7pm / TUE - Eric Dotterer & Friends, 6:30pm / WED - DJ Blast, 10pm; $5 before 11pm, $10 after, ladies free
Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; no cover
Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover
Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover
Justin Phillips 7:30-10pm; no cover
MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30pm / TUE - Jazz, 7:30-10pm WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm
Rampage 10pm; no cover
Woven Roots w/ Art Show, 10pm; no cover
DJ Big Mike 10pm; no cover
Gina Martinelli Band 6pm; no cover
MON - Gomega, 10pm / TUE - Pool League, 10pm / WED - Jukebox Party 10pm (no cover)
Quiz Night 7pm; no cover
Dance Party 10pm; no cover
Jordan, 6pm / Dance Party, 10pm; no cover
Sebrina Barron 6pm; no cover
MON - Ryan Robinson, 10pm / TUE - Dance Party, 10pm / WED - Mick’s B-day w/ Big John, 10pm (all sets no cover)
Mallori Danielle & JConsensual, 6-9pm
Live DJ 9pm-12am; no cover
BrownChicken BrownCow 10pm; $15
Avi Ronen & Indio 6-9pm; no cover
MON - Far West / TUE - Colin John & Friends WED - Danyel Alana & JB Kahaiali’i (all 6-9pm)
Jah Residentz 9pm-close; no cover
Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover
Pa’a Mana 9pm-close; no cover
Karaoke Industry Night 8pm-close; no cover
MON - Karaoke, 8pm / TUE - Music Videos w/ DJ Daizy, 9pm WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm
Lucky Tongue 9pm-12am; no cover
shop (Jan. 18-20) and learn mastery relationship skills from Apollo Grace and Ed Fell. $297. 6:30-9:30pm Hale Ho’omana, 808-283-6320; theauthenticlover.com QUEEN’S BRIDAL SHOPPE 2013 PROM FASHION SHOW - Preview the latest prom trends available at Queen’s Bridal Shoppe. A free prom dress and prom tux rental will be given away after show! Enter to win through their Facebook page and by bringing at least 3 food donations to the store by January 18th. Free. 7-8pm Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, Center Stage, (375 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave, Kahului); 808-877-7573; facebook.com/queensbridalshoppe ALOHA FRIDAY MUSICAL JAM - In partnership with Hawai’i on TV, each Friday a different musical style is featured. Free. 11:30am1:30pm Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave #B, Kahului); 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui MAKAWAO THIRD FRIDAY - See This Week’s Picks. Free. 6pm-9pm. Makawao (Between Baldwin and Makawao Avenues. No road closures); mauifridays.com / facebook.com/makawao TOM PEEK BOOK SIGNINGS - Big Island author and writing teacher Tom Peek will read and sign copies of his debut novel, Daughters of Fire, at 3 different locations on Maui. The book tells “a riveting tale of romance, intrigue, myth, and murder set amid the cultural tensions of America’s fiftieth state.” Fri, Jan 18 at 7pm on the Baldwin Home Museum Lawn in Lahaina. Sat, Jan 19 at 6:30pm with other authors on a panel on Hawaiian Voices at the Aloha Writers Conference, Ritz Carlton Hotel, Salon 4 in Kapalua. Sun, Jan 20 at 1pm at the Maui Friends of the Library bookshop at Queen Kaahumanu Center. 808-875-7995; koabooks. com; arnie@koabooks.com
SATURDAY, JAN 19 NATIONAL SERVICE DAY - See This Week’s Picks. 808-270-7150, handsonmaui.com / habitat-maui.org CAT SPAY/NEUTER CLINIC - See This Week’s Picks. Call for more information on
Will Hartzag 7-9:30pm; no cover
MON - Dave Carroll, 7pm / TUE - Jordan Cuddy, 7pm / WED - Justin Phillips, 7pm WED - Casanova’s Famous Ladies’ Night: Fast Forward with DJ Kurt, 10pm; $5 before 11pm, $10 after
Willie K 11am-2pm; no cover
reserving a spot. $35/ free if a hardship. 808-573-3365; 9thlifehawaii.org PET ADOPTIONS WITH HARF - Join the Hawaii Animal Rescue Foundation (HARF) for a very special opportunity to rescue your next best friend! Every Saturday, HARF will bring animals in need of a good home. For more info, see websites or call. 10am-4pm Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave #B, Kahului); 808-446-4126; and 10am-4pm Petco, (270 Dairy Road, #144, Kahului); 808-876-0022; hawaiiananimalrescue.org R.E.A.D. TO A DOG - The Hawaii Canines for Independence will present the Reading Educational Assistance Dogs (R.E.A.D.) program for keiki in grades 1-6 which is said to improve children’s reading and communication skills. Free. Pre-registration is required. Parents should contact the Library to sign up their children for 10-minute reading sessions. 3-4pm Tutoring Room at Makawao Public Library, (1159 Makawao Ave.); 808-573-8785; librarieshawaii.org SATURDAY NIGHT SWING DANCE - Chris & Alison of Maui Jitterbugs bring their world class dance experience to Maui! Bring a friend to this Intro Swing Lesson and stay for the social dance. No experience is necessary and is open to ages 18-108. Facebook: Maui Jitterbugs. $5. 7-9pm Hope Chapel, (300 E. Welakahao St., Kihei); 425941-9144; mauijitterbugs.com
SUNDAY, JAN 20 JESSICA GARCIA ART SHOW - Local artist Jessica Garcia will be showcasing her work. Free. 7pm Wailuku Coffee Company, (28 N. Market St.); 808-495-0259; wailukucoffeeco.com WHALE PHOTO SAFARI CRUISE - Join professional wildlife photographer David Fleetham on a cruise, featuring hands-on training on capturing whale images with state-of-the-art digital cameras. This at-sea workshop takes place on PCF’s high-tech, ultra-stable raft Ocean Freedom. This trip is ideal for beginning and advanced photographers. $99.95 plus taxes/fees.
Includes dry bag for your camera, plus refreshments. Pacific Whale Foundation’s Lahaina Ocean Store, (612 Front St., Lahaina); 808249-8811 ext. 1; pacficwhalefoundation.org YO-YO DEMONSTRATION - Maui Toy Works presents a Yo-Yo and skill toys workshop and demonstration. Free. 4pm Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy.); 808-661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com FAMILY MAGIC - All-ages comedy and magic with Lauro Castillio. Free. 11:30am Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy.); 808661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com
MONDAY, JAN 21 ANNUAL DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. MARCH - See This Week’s Picks. Free. 8:30am Stone of Hope Monument, (200 High St., Wailuku); 808-878-8434; africanamericansonmaui. com; africanamericansonmaui@gmail.com HULA PERFORMANCE - Original hip-ster stylie performance. Free. 10:30am Queen Kaahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808877-3369; queenkaahumanucenter.com
TUESDAY, JAN 22 ULTIMATE WHALEWATCH - Learn firsthand what it is like to be a whale researcher on a personally guided group tour. This is a special opportunity to interact with Pacific Whale Foundation’s researchers and marine biologists. For info and reservations, please call. 7:3011:30am Pacific Whale Foundation’s Ma’alaea Ocean Store, (300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ste. 100); 808-280-3163; pacificwhalestore.org ‘UKULELE LESSONS - Learn some strumming techniques and impress your friends. Free. 5:30pm Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapiilani Hwy.); 808-661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com POLYNESIAN PERFORMANCES - Come see Maui’s most talented halaus perform center stage. Free. 7pm Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy.); 808-661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com
JANUARY 17, 2013 23
$
YDAY 3PM-7PM HAPPY HOUR EVER $ $
2 BUD LIGHT • 3 WELLS • 5 JAGER $
THURSDAY MARK JOHNSTONE
1/17
& LENNY CASTELLANOS BLUES DUO
FRIDAY
FUSION FRIDAY WITH
1/18
6:30-8:30PM 6:30 8:30PM • NO COVER!
DJ BIG MIKE & DJ KAMIKAZE
10:00PM • LADIES FREE • $1O MEN
SATURDAY
1/19
NFL PLAYOFFS
& BLOODY MARY BAR OPEN FOR BREAKFAST AT 7AM
SANDWICH ISLAND BASS & FRIENDS FEATURING KAREN BE OPENING SET BY SWEET VISUALS BY
GABE MOTT COLORS
THURS
1.17
SAT
1.19
MONDAY
1/21
CHARLEY’S LIVE BAND OPEN MIC & JAM
TUESDAY
TACO TUESDAY
1/22
7PM-10PM • NO COVER
WITH ERIC DOTTERER & FRIENDS SPECIALS ON TACOS & MEXICAN BEER
6:30PM-8:3OPM • NO COVER
RAMPAGE FRIDAY
SF VS. ATL @10AM BAL VS. NE @1:30PM
MON
1.21
1.18
DJ BIG MIKE @10PM
NFL BREAKFAST @8AM
NFL PLAYOFFS
& BLOODY MARY BAR OPEN FOR BREAKFAST AT 7AM
@10PM
FROM HUMBOLT, CA @10PM
10:00PM 10 00PM • $10 COVER
1/20
LIVE MUSIC
WOVEN ROOTS
RUEBELLE SECRET SHOW
SUNDAY
1 TACO SPECIAL
EVERYDAY 3-5PM • 10-11PM
SUN
1.20
GINA MARTINELLI @6PM
LIVE MUSIC
@10PM
GOMEGA
TUES POOL LEAGUE 1.22 WED 1.23 JUKEBOX PARTY MAUI’S COLDEST BEER • FOOD TIL MIDNIGHT OPEN 11AM - 1:30AM 1279 S. KIHEI RD. • 874.9299
VOTED BEST
TATTOO SHOP BY M AU I LO C A L S !
579.8515
120 HANA HWY • UPSTAIRS PAIATATOOPARLOR.COM
Photo Courtesy of Jay Parco
MAUI ARTS +
SUNDAY 11:00AM - 2PM
WILLIE K.
MAUITIME FLAVOR
KAMA’AINA SPECIALS ALL DAY
NO COVER
ENTERTAINMENT WITH
.com 24 JANUARY 17, 2013
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TheGRID
THURSDAY
FRIDAY
SATURDAY
SUNDAY
MONDAY-WEDNESDAY
1/17
1/18
1/19
1/20
1/21-1/23
FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM
ISANA 515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199
JAVA JAZZ 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787
Karaoke
Karaoke
Karaoke
Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover
Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover
Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover
JAY’S PLACE
1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711
KIMO’S 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811
WED - Live Music, 10pm-close; no cover
Kawika 7pm; no cover
Kenny Roberts 7pm; no cover
Eight Track Players 7pm; no cover
John Grover 7pm; no cover
MON - That’s What I’m Talking About TUE - Da Ha-y-ans / WED - Herb Anderson (all sets 7pm; no cover)
1810 6:30-8:30; no cover
Willie K 9-11pm; $5
1810 8-10pm; no cover
Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa, 6-8pm
MON - Benny & Glenn, 6-8pm / TUE-WED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm (both sets no cover)
Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover
Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover
KOBE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St. (Lounge Area), Lahaina - 667-5555
LAHAINA SPORTS BAR
MON - Trivia Night, 7pm; no cover WED - Ladies Night, 10pm; no cover
843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655
L‘AVA SPORTS BAR & KARAOKE 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888
Free Karaoke
LILIKOI RESTAURANT & WINE BAR
TUE - Free Karaoke
Blues Jam hosted by Maui Blues Co., 7:30-10pm
810 Haiku Rd., Haiku - 575-2629
Acoustic Unplugged (signup 7pm) 7:30-10pm
LONGHI’S LAHAINA
TUE - Johnny Ringo, 8-10pm; no cover
888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288
LULU’S LAHAINA Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808
MERRIMAN’S 1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400
Howard Ahia 6-9pm; no cover Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover
MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE
Murray Thorne, 6:30-8:30pm Pub Quiz Night w/ Trish da Dish, 9:30-12am; no cover
OCEANS BAR & GRILL
Live Salsa Music w/ Neito & Barbara, 7:30-10pm
100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131
1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414
WEDNESDAY, JAN 23 ADULT & PEDIATRIC FIRST AID & CPR/AED - Get trained to recognize and care for victims of illness and sudden injuries and life-threatening respiratory or cardiac emergencies in adults, children, and infants and learn how to use an AED; American Red Cross certification upon completion. This course will also be held as an online/ classroom blended learning course. Classes are based on availability and subject to change. $110 (register online or call). 9-11am American Red Cross, (45 N. Market St., Suite A, Wailuku); 800733-2767; redcross.org WOW! WAILEA ON WEDNESDAYS - The Shops at Wailea hosts their weekly arts and entertainment series, featuring a performance by Lanakila & Co., including a featured hula dancer in the lower courtyard and a slew of shop-to-shop specials. Free. 6:30-8pm The Shops at Wailea, Lower Courtyard, (3750 Wailea Alanui); 808897-6770 ext. 2; theshopsatwailea.com / @ ShopsAtWailea on Twitter SEA WEES: OCEAN EDVENTURE FOR PRESCHOOLERS - A 5-week program for children ages 3-5. Each child is accompanied to SeaWees by his or her parent or caregiver. The program features developmentally appropriate early-childhood practice including music/movement, demonstrations and guided exploration. $40 for Pacific Whale Foundation Members, and $50 for non-members. If you wish to enroll in just a single class (“dropin”), the fee is $12. A second child in the same family is 50 percent off. 9-10am Pacific Whale Foundation’s Ma’alaea Ocean Store, (300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ste. 100); 808-280-3163; pacificwhalestore.org OCCUPY MAUI MEETING - The group’s focus is on foreclosure laws and environmental problems. They want to hear about your issues. Simply attend one of their weekly Wed. meetings to get
MON - Farzad & Mike Madden / TUE Farzad & Mike Madden / WED - Tracy Stiles (all sets 7pm-close; no cover)
Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover
Live Music 10pm-close; no cover
Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 661-6699
KAHALE’S
WED - Karaoke
Allure - DJ LX, DJC & Jay.P 10pm; $10 Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover
Boss Lady presents Sexy South, 10pm; no cover
involved. Free. 5-7pm At Freedom Lawn or Pavilion at UH Maui College, (310 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului); occupymaui.com BRENTON KEITH & HIS BAG O’ TRICKS - Be amused and amazed by the High-Energy comedy by Brenton Keith and his bag O’ Tricks. This charismatic performer has been astonishing Hawaii for over 15 years with his unique style of Tom Foolery appearing Gold Fish, card thrown on the ceiling and many more surprises inside of his bag O’ Tricks. Free. 7pm R.S. Sharky’s Family Restaurant, (41 E. Lipoa St., Suite 15, Kihei); 808-874-5115; sharkyshawaii.com
DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CANOES - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm; Fri, Howard Ahia 5:30-8:30pm. (1450 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0937. CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL - Wed, Justin Phillips 7-9:30pm; Thu, Adam Masterson 7-9:30pm; Fri, Emily Joyce 7-9:30pm; Sat, Jonny Ringo 7-9:30pm; Sun, Will Hartzag 7-9:30pm; Mon, Dave Carroll 7-9:30pm; Tue, Jordan Cuddy 7-9:30pm. (672 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0988. COOL CAT CAFE - Wed, Jordan Cuddy 7:3010pm; Thu, Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; Fri, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sat, Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; Sun, Justin Phillips 7:30-10pm; Mon, Peter D 7:30-10pm; Tue, Jazz 7:3010pm. (Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908. DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Every Mon & Tue, Eddie & Alika 6-8:30pm; Daily, Hula Performance 6:30pm; Every Mon & Wed, Brian 3-5pm; Wed, Daniel & Kahala 6-8:30pm; Thu, Garrett & Peter 6-8:30pm; Fri, Garrett 3-5pm;
Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover
Ekolu, Leahi and Lawai’a 10pm; $20 cover
MON - S.I.N. w/ DJ Blast, 10pm; no cover WED - Krazy Karaoke, 10:30pm; no cover Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover
MON - David Wolfberg / TUE - The Benoits WED - Ranga Pae (all 5:30-8:30pm)
The Celtic Tigers 6-9pm; no cover
MON - Joyce & Gord, 6:30pm; no cover TUE - Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks, 7-8pm; no cover
NFL
WED - Live music w/ Gina Martinelli, 7:3010pm; no cover
Every Fri & Sat, Damon & Ron Oversize Productions 6-8:30pm; Sat, Tim 3-5pm; Sun, Fausto 3-5pm; Sun, Damon & Tim 6-8:30pm; Every Tue & Thu, Ben 3-5pm. (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina); 808-662-2900.
LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Every Wed, Thu & Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Sat, Harry Troupe 7:30-9:30pm; Sun, Greg Di Piazza 7:30-9:30pm; Every Mon & Tue, Martin Tevaga 7:30-9:30pm. (730 Front St.); 808-661-0700.
FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. - Fri, Jordan T. 6-9pm; Sun, Avi Ronan & Indio 6-9pm; Thu, Mallori Danielle & JConsensual 6-9pm. (744 Front St., Lahaina); 808-669-6425.
LAHAINA SPORTS BAR - Mon, Trivia 7-9pm. (843 Waine‘e St., Unit 1 & 2); 808-667-6655.
HARD ROCK CAFE - Fri, Evan Shulman 6-9pm; Sun, Willie K 11am-2pm. (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400. HULA GRILL - Tue, Jarrett Roback 1:30pm; Daily, Hula Grill Happy Hour 3-5pm; Tue, Damon & Ron 4pm; Tue, Wili Pohaku & Peter DeAquino 6:30pm; Every Mon, Wed & Thu, Ernest Pua’a 11am; Wed, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Wed, Peter DeAquino 4pm; Wed, Ernest Pua’a & Friends 6:30pm; Thu, Alika Nakaoka 1:30pm; Thu, Kaniala Masoe 4pm; Thu, Kulewa 6:30pm; Fri, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Every Sun, Fri & Sat, 1810 4pm; Fri, Kawika, Roy & Albert 6:30pm; Sat, Ron, Ikaika & Damon 1:30pm; Sat, Damon/ Ron/Keali’i 6:30pm; Sun, Danyel Alana 1:30pm; Sun, Derick Sebastian Trio 6:30pm; Mon, Kawika Lum Ho 1:30pm; Mon, Armadillo & Derek 4pm; Mon, Derick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30pm; Every Sun, Tue, Fri & Sat, Kawika Lum Ho 11am. (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka‘anapali Pwy., Bldg P); 808-667-6636. JAVA JAZZ/SOUP NUTZ - Every Thu & Sat, Rick Glencross 7pm; Fri, Guest Performer 7pm; Fri, Tracy Stiles 7pm; Every Sun, Mon & Tue, Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm. (3350 L. Honoapi‘ilani Hwy. #203 & 204, Honokowai); 808-667-0787. KIMO’S - Thu, 1810 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Willie K 9-11pm; Sat, 1810 8-10pm; Every Sun & Mon, Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa 6-8pm; Every Tue & Wed, Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm. (845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811.
LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Fri, JD & Friends 3-5pm; Sat, JD & Harry 3-5pm; Sun, Merv Oana 3-5pm; Thu, Jarret & Wilson 3-5pm. (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy. Bldg. J, Ka’anapali); 808-661-4495. LONGBOARDS KA’ANAPALI - Every Tue, Wed, Thu & Fri, Solo guitarist 5:30-8:30pm. (100 Nohea Kai Dr.); 808-667-1200. LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL Thu, Howard Ahia 6-8pm; Wed, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm. (Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy. #A1); 808-661-0808. MERRIMAN’S - Daily (except Mon & Tue), Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Mon, David Wolfberg 5:308:30pm; Tue, The Benoits 5:30-8:30pm. (1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua); 808-669-6400. PARADISE GRILL - Wed, Heather & Scott 6-9pm; Thu, Harry Troupe 6-9pm; Fri, Scotty Rotten 6-9pm; Sat, Kory Kukahiku 6-9pm; Sun, Hawaiian Music Night 6-9pm; Mon, Marvin Taraga 6-9pm; Tue, Johnny Ringo 6-9pm. (2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-3700. PINEAPPLE GRILL - Thu, Island Rhythm Sounds of Josh Kahula of Nuff Sedd 7-10pm; Fri, Brother Damien’s Ocean Beach Party 7:30-10pm; Sat, Island Sounds with Alika & Eddie 7-10pm; Wed, Jazz Sounds of Fulton Tashombe 6-9pm. (200 Kapalua Drive); 808-669-9600. PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Wed, JD on the Rocks 5-8pm; Thu, Greg di Piazza feat. Alana Cini 5:30-8:30pm; Tue, Ah-Tim Elenicki 5:30-8:30pm. (658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-8881.
JANUARY 17, 2013 25
Maui Historical Society Presents
Hawaiian Moonlight Featuring George Kahumoku, Jr. and Nevah Too Late
9 Concert under the Moon and Stars 9 Friday, January 25, 2013, at 6:00 p.m. 9 Bailey House Museum
2375A Main Street, Wailuku, Maui, HI 96793
admission / $20 MHS members 9 $25 children 12 and under free with paid adult admission
9 Space Limited, To reserve space go to: mauimuseum.org and click on the “Purchase Tickets Online” link
9 For more information contact:
Bailey House Museum (808) 244-3326 or baileyhousemuseum@clearwire.net
Coolers will be allowed if you wish to bring a snack. Soda and water will be available for sale. Bring a blanket or low beach chair for the grass seating (seating available for kupuna on a Àrst come Àrst seated basis). Be sure to check out the local artists who will be there to show off and sell their art.
Full Moon Party Experience a night of Mysticism at Fleetwood’s On Front St. Enjoy a Moonlit lounge with plush couches, Tarot Card Readers, relaxation massage, super size telescope and talk story with the President of Maui Astronomy Club. Music by ‘I Want Candy’
January 26th, 2013 9pm-Midnight No Cover
744 FRONT STREET
26 JANUARY 17, 2013
LAHAINA
808 669 MICK
TheGRID
THURSDAY
FRIDAY
SATURDAY
SUNDAY
MONDAY-WEDNESDAY
1/17
1/18
1/19
1/20
1/21-1/23
FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM
PARADISE GRILL (MELLOS) Mellos Bar, 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Lahaina - 662-3700
PARADISE GRILL 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Lahaina - 662-3700
Harry Troupe 6-9pm; no cover
Dance Party w/ DJ Ron 10pm-1:30am
Dance Party w/ DJ Ron 10pm-1:30am
Salsa Dance Party w/ Rafael, 10pm, $5 cover
Salsa Dance Party w/ Rafael, 10pm, $5 cover
MON - Whiskey Pimps, 10pm-1am WED - Johnny Ringo (acoustic), 9pm-12am Hawaiian Music 6-9pm; no cover
RB STEAKHOUSE
WED - Open Mic Night, 9:30pm; no cover
4465 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina - 669-8889
SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286
SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004
SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444
Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover
Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover
Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover
Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover
Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover
DJ Blast 10pm; no cover
DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm; no cover
DJ Salvo 10pm-close; no cover
Robin & Ron 9pm-midnight; no cover
Natalie 9pm-midnight; no cover
Whiskey Pimps 8:30pm; no cover Ah-Tim 4-6pm; no cover
Viva La Rumba 4-6pm; no cover
TUE - DJ LX, 10pm / WED - Decka, 10pm (all sets no cover)
Kekona Ohana 8:30pm; no cover
Karaoke 4pm; no cover
MON - Mahalo Monday WED - 80’s Night, 8pm, no cover
Supper Club with John Cruz, 6pm, $60 dinner & show, $30 show only
Pato Banton And The Now Generation, 9pm $20 advance; $25 door
Jamie Lawrence 4-6pm; no cover
MON - Mike Finkiewicz, 4-6pm / TUE - Power Up Comedy Open Mic, 8:30pm / WED Randall Rospond, 4-6pm (all sets no cover)
Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover
Wes Furumoto, 5:30 / Jerry Caires Jr. Band, 9pm; $4
Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover
Karaoke/Family Night 6pm; no cover
Live Music & Dancing 8pm; no cover
Live Music 5:30-7:30pm; no cover
WED - Brenton Keith & His Bag O’Tricks; 7pm; no cover
SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602
STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206
STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779
STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380
R.S. SHARKY’S 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 874-6115
THREE’S BAR & GRILL
Arise and DJ Mikey G 10pm; no cover
Innavision Saturdays 10pm; $5 cover
Louise Lambert 6:30pm; no cover
WED - Blues with The House Shakers, 8:30pm; no cover
Karaoke
Karaoke
Karaoke
Karaoke
MON through WED- Karaoke
Twisted Thursdays w/ Party Rock Krew 10pm; no cover
Forbidden Fridays w/ Party Rock Krew 10pm; no cover
Free Karaoke 9pm; no cover
Free Karaoke 9pm; no cover
MON - Free Karaoke, 9pm / TUE - Free Karaoke, 9pm / WED - Singles’ Night w/ X-Klusive Sounds Productions, 10pm (All sets no cover)
1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133
TIFFANY’S 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052
WATERCRESS Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351
RB BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm. (4465 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-669-8889.
6-9pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm; Mon, Music by Rama 6-9pm; Tue, Mike & Mark 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8860.
RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE - Every Sun & Sat, Live Jazz 6-9pm. (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-8815.
MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Tue, Kilohana 7-9pm; Wed, Alejandro 4-6pm; Wed, Jarret & Wilson 7-9pm; Thu, Tom Cherry 4-6pm; Thu, Tom Cherry and Mike Finkiewicz 7-9pm; Fri, Wolf 4-6pm; Fri, Alika Naka’oka 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Alika 7-9pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 7-9pm; Sun, Alika Naka’oka 4-6pm; Sun, Kilohana 7-9pm; Mon, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Mon, Tarvin Makia 7-9pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 4-6pm. (10 Wailea Gateway Pl., Unit B-201); 808-891-2322.
SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT, NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT - Every Mon & Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Sat, Coelho Morrison 7-9pm; Sun, Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Every Tue, Thu & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm. (5900 Lower Honoapi‘ilani Hwy.); 808-669-1500.
SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Thu, Jamie Gallo 7pm; Mon, The Jonah Project Live 8pm; Wed, Red Carpet Movie Night: Michael Clayton (It’s George Clooney Month!) 7:30pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-1011. BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Every Sun & Wed, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; Every Thu & Sat, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Fri, Tom Cherry & Mike Finkiewicz 5-8pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm. (300 Ma‘alaea Rd. #1M); 808-243-2286. CAPISCHE? - Sat, Mark Johnstone with Marcus Johnson 7-10pm; Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm. (555 Kaukahi St., Kihei); 808-879-2224. DIAMONDS ICE BAR & GRILL - Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd. #314); 808-874-9299. DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB - Sun, Sebrina Barron 6pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-9669. HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Thu, Emily Joice 4-8pm; Sat, Ryan Robinson 4-8pm; Every Tue, Wed & Fri, Rick Glencross 4-8pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd. #E); 808-891-8010. JUST WING IT! - Every Fri & Sat, Chicken Boxing 5-7pm. (225 Piikea Ave., Kihei); 808-875-9464. KAMAOLE POOLSIDE CAFE - Wed, Steve Sargenti 6-9pm; Thu, Island favorites with Kawika Lum Ho 6-9pm; Fri, Girls Night Out with Gina Martinelli 6-9pm; Sat, Ron Shadian and Friends
MON - Marvin Taraga, 6-9pm / TUE - Johnny Ringo, 6-9pm / WED - Heather & Scott, 6-9
MONSOON INDIA - Sat, Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, The Hula Honeys 5:30-8:30pm. (760 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-4555. MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu, Murray Thorne 5:30-6:30pm; Thu, Willie K 7-9pm; Fri, Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, The Celtic Tigers w/ Mad Bagpiper Roger McKinley 6:309:30pm; Mon, Joyce and Gord 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Brenton Keith and his Bag O’ Tricks 7-8pm. (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131. PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 5:30-7:30pm. (34 Wailea Gateway Plaza); 808-879-7177. SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Wed, Mark Johnstone 4-6pm; Thu, Jaime Gallo 4-6pm; Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Sun, Viva La Rumba 4-6pm; Mon, Kanoa 4-6pm; Tue, Sebrina Barron 4-6pm. (Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6444. STELLA BLUES CAFE - Wed, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Thu, Ah Tim 4-6pm; Fri, Ahumanu 4-6pm; Sat, Vince Esquire & Kaulana 4-6pm; Sun, Jamie Lawrence 4-6pm; Mon, Mike Finkiewicz 4-6pm; Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779. TAQUERIA CRUZ - Every Tue & Sat, Live Music Reggae, Jazz, Blues 5:30-8:30pm. (2395 S. Kihei
Rd. #112); 808-875-2910. THE RED BAR AT GANNON’S, A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT - Thu, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm; Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm. (Wailea Golf Club House, 100 Wailea Golf Club Drive); 808-875-8080. THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Every Sun, Mon & Wed, Hawaiian Music 5-8pm; Sun, Louise Lambert 6:30-9pm; Every Tue, Thu, Fri & Sat, Acoustic with Chad Kaya 5-8pm. (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133.
Blues Jam hosted by Maui Blues & Co. 7:30-10pm. (810 Kokomo Rd., Suite 186, Haiku); 808-575-2629. MOANA BAKERY & CAFE - Thu, Ukulele with Eric Dotterer 6:30-8:30pm. (71 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-9999. NORTHSHORE CAFE - Thu, Troublemakers Trio 7-10:30pm; Fri, Makana 7-9pm; Tue, Ryan - Keyboards from Brooklyn 7-9pm. (824 Kokomo Rd., Haiku); 808-575-2770. PAIA BAY CAFE - Sun, Hawaiian Steel Guitar w/ Joel Katz 9-11am. (43 Hana Hwy.); 808-579-3111.
TOMMY BAHAMA’S TROPICAL CAFE - Every Thu & Fri, Margie Heart 5:30-9:30pm; Every Sun & Sat, Howard Ahia 5:30-9:30pm; Mon, Greg Di Piazza 5:30-9:30pm; Wed, Merv Oana 5:309:30pm. (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-9983.
CENTRAL MAUI CAFE O’LEI AT THE DUNES AT MAUI LANI - Every Fri & Sat, Phil and Angela Benoit 5:308pm; Thu, Reiko Fukina 5:30-8pm. (1333 Maui Lani Pkwy., Kahului); 808-877-0073. WAILUKU COFFEE COMPANY - Fri, Pau Hana with Dr. Nat 4-7pm. (28 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-495-0259.
UPCOUNTRY MAUI CAFE DES AMIS - Mon, Mark Johnstone 6:308:30pm. (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-6323. CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT & SALOON - Thu, Mark Johnstone & Lenny Castellanos Blues Duo 6:308:30pm; Mon, Live Band Open Mic & Jam 7-10pm; Tue, Taco Tuesday with Eric Dotterer & Friends 6:308:30pm. (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085. FLATBREAD COMPANY - Mon, Wes Furumoto 6-9pm. (89 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8989. HANA HOU CAFE - Tue, Hipnautical 6-9pm. (810 Haiku Rd.); 808-575-2661. LILIKOI GRILL RESTAURANT & WINE BAR - Sat, Acoustic Unplugged (signup by 7pm) 7:30-10pm; Fri,
JANUARY 17, 2013 27
MEDIA MEDIA USERS GROUP GROUP USERS The In-Real-Life Forum for All Social Media Users on Maui
FREE / Not Catered / Seating Limited to 30 Wednesday, January 30th, 2013 : 4PM-6:30PM MEDB’S Malcolm Center : Kihei, HI 96753 REGISTRATION INFORMATION: #MauiSMUG mauismug.com
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Horoscope
Sign Language BY CAERIEL CRESTIN CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) Don’t gild the lily. In case you’re not familiar with that lovely phrase, it refers to unnecessarily adding ornamentation to something that’s already beautiful. To do so actually insults and detracts from the beauty that’s already there. True artistry is sometimes about knowing when to stop, when enough is enough. Unfortunately, the lily you’re almost guilty of gilding is a person, in this case, one who might actually be upset by your actions, which could be perceived as compensation for a flaw—in them. Bad idea. If you find someone beautiful, let them know, and leave it at that. AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) It’s a great week to blast the heat, and invite all your friends (and your friends’ friends, and your friends’ friends’ friends) over for an underwear party. Ask your guests to shed clothing (and egos) and booze it up at your place. Remove outfits and useless attitudes and connection-blocking pretensions are likely to go with. It’s hard to act snooty while standing around the kitchen in bra and boxers. Most people would rather just relax and get into it. Whether you follow my specific suggestion or not, make it your goal this week to help people lose their shirts. They’ll thank you for it later. PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Although it’s tempting when you experience a setback to let yourself lapse into total slobby oafishness, don’t. These days Mom isn’t around to catch the mildewy towels that are crawling around by themselves or clean up the plates of half-eaten food that have learned to speak their own names. If you must create new and bizarre forms of life, make them up yourself. That’s right—it’s your special privilege this week to channel your laziest, messiest impulses into throbbing inspiration. Don’t waste it by making an actual mess you’ll have to waste time cleaning up later. ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) At the Batu caves in Malaysia, devotees of the Hindu God of Strength, Lord Muruga, make pilgrimages every year to perform rituals during the holy festival of Thaipusam. Their devotion to the god supposedly makes them impervious to pain. For eight hours, they pierce cheeks, tongue, and other body parts, pull carts from hooks in their backs, or walk across hot coals. Whether the divine force (which also mysteriously keeps their wounds from bleeding) comes from a reclusive cavedwelling deity or from their own faith-born inner strength is mostly irrelevant. Pray to whatever it is you believe in this week and you’re likely to have your prayers answered. TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) This week you might be tempted to set up an art gallery displaying every tool you have in your basement workroom or kitchen junk drawer. Why would you feel compelled to place screwdrivers and allen wrenches on pedestals? Because seeing beauty in function is your specialty this week. Pure aestheticism is not for you right now: a sturdy pair of scissors, a warm knit cap, a cast iron frying pan—that’s where it’s at for you, beauty-wise. This week, throw out the things in your life that are merely pretty but basically useless, be they clothing, kitsch, or (somehow attractive) leeches in human form. GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) After escaping from their enslaved home planet, Exxor, Zan and Jayna developed the unlikely Teen Trouble Alert, a sort of telepathic connection to their target demographic. It would alert them whenever some 1319 year-old was in danger. They and their comical blue monkey, Gleek, would creatively help these imperiled adolescents. It’s not often you get to identify with superheroes, but you should this week. Like them, you’ll have a keen sense about who might need help you can give. Don’t shirk your duty. Whether you’re acting alone or as part of a team, cry out: “Wonder Twin Powers, Activate!” and get to work. CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) I’m proud of myself. I haven’t learned to control my moods or suppress my ridiculous extremes. But I’ve
learned from them, developed techniques for managing them and moving through them. I don’t think medicating an unpleasant emotion to death is always the answer. But I also can’t let my emotional swings jeopardize my fragile stability. So I compensate. I find something to hang onto as the feeling bowls me over. You should, too. It’s not in your best interest to ignore, deny, or squish the problems that are flooding your life, Mississippi-style. Just grab something that won’t wash away and wait for the overflow to drain out to sea. LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) You know what our problem is? We’re too talented. Because we’re good at so many things, we don’t specialize. For instance, I have no fewer than five projects going at the moment. I could give you the same advice I give myself: the shortest path to gratification, reward, and results is by choosing one thing and just plugging away at it until it’s done, then tackling the others. But I know you won’t take it, just as I don’t. Instead, you’ll probably prefer settling for the same consolation I pick for myself: someday a whole lot of people are really going to be impressed with you, but not this week. ‘Til then, keep the ball rolling. VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) “God, I’m so in love,” she croons. “How can I keep myself from sabotaging my own happiness?” Sound familiar? My answer, in three parts: 1) Remember that everything changes, good and bad. 2) Knowing about entropy and impermanence can help you live in the glorious moment, instead of anticipating (and helping create) a dreaded future. 3) Remember the inevitability of misery—even if this situation stays good, something will happen to make you unhappy at some point—remembering that could help you really experience your current joy without fear or guilt—you’ve already paid your dues, and you’ll pay some more at some point, so there’s absolutely no reason to hold back on being ecstatic now. I’ll quote my favorite Thai advertisement as your mantra this week: Enjoy the enjoy. LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Get out of the house! Now. Leaving your home shouldn’t be a process. You can’t prepare for every eventuality, so don’t try. This time, rush out empty-handed. Forget your sunblock or smokes. They won’t matter—you’re out to expand your territory (why you spent all autumn toughening your shell), not rehash familiar stories. Traveling light will aid your mission—you’ll be able to go further abroad, and when you inevitably butt heads trodding on someone else’s home turf you’ll have an easier time dancing around your “opponent” if you don’t have a suitcasesized purse or pockets full of junk weighing you down.
QUIZunderstood ANSWERS ...to questions from page 4
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SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Biomimicry is when we copy another creature’s adaptations for our own purposes. For instance, the inventors of Velcro imitated the cocklebur’s hooked barbs. I’d like to coin a new term: Astromimicry. Just imagine what you could accomplish if you decided to wear the patience of a Taurus, the sensitivity of a Pisces, or the wise pragmatism of a Virgo. Lately, you’ve let yourself feel too restricted by the fact that you’re a Scorpio. Astrology should only empower, not limit you. For instance, because you’re a Scorpio you know your power to act boldly, but you shouldn’t feel obligated. Use what works. If being a wallflower will help you get what you want this week, by all means—blend in. SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) Can you imagine anything duller than being forced to sit still for hours and listen to someone else’s tedious problems? Definitely not your forte, yet it’s something that may be required of you this week. My tip: make Mopey buy you drinks, at least. It’s not easy for you to pretend to be sympathetic—you just don’t understand whining about one’s troubles instead of doing something about them. Drinking will make sympathy easier. Not everybody can be as action-oriented as you. But if you listen, cluck, and nod at the right times this week, you should be seeing more action than you can handle by next week. Bottoms up!
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