17.01 The Fashion Issue, June 20, 2013, Volume 17, Issue 01, MauiTime by MauiTimes

June 20, 2013 ✚ Volume 17 ✚ Issue 01 ✚ FREE

THE

FASHION ISSUE

JUNE 20, 2013

Contents VOLUME 17

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: How did you celebrate your 16th birthday?

✚

ISSUE 01

MOVING TO MAKAWAO GRAND OPENING SOON

MAKAWAO APPOINTMENTS STARTING JUNE 28TH FEATURING STYLIST:

JEFFIE HARRIS • SARAH NELSON EVANS • JENNY ORIORDAN CHRISTINE WIGGINS • LAURA KENNEDY

COVER: June 20, 2013 ✚ Volume 17 ✚ Issue 01 ✚ FREE

Photo: Sean M Hower Model: Alyssa Hudson Cover design: Darris Hurst Location: Westin Kaanapali THE Ocean Resort Villas FASHION ISSUE For clothing info see page 9.

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Cruisin’ down the street in my 6 Fo’ Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter With as little fanfare as possible Culinary, Lifestyle & Business Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Shotgunning Primo Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com Can’t remember... Maybe I was too drunk. Graphic Designers: Shane Fontanilla (Surfing), Amy Mendolia Contributors: Axel Beers, Jenn Brown (Went to Hard Rock Cafe with friends), Toni Colombo (Got more piercings!), Caeriel Crestin, Sarah Gerlach, Lauren Hecker, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Marina Satoafaiga, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II

Admin. Executive: Keo Eaton (808) 244-0777 In Kamehameha Schools dorms Proofreader: Dina Wilson

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2012 BEST SALON 3660 Baldwin Avenue, Makawao

4 8 17 18 19 21 22 23 28 29 31

NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY A&E THIS WEEK’S PICKS FILM CRITIQUE FILM TIMES DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID CLASSIFIED HOROSCOPE MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

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Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com In my lowrider Honda Civic Si with a “Hittin’ Bottom” sticker on the back Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Organizing my 8-track tapes

THANK YOU MAUI

Call us for info 808-575-2328

Dr. Kevin Davison N.D., L.Ac

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2013 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime. MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

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By Axel Beers

News & Views

QUIZunderstood E. That it start minding its own business.

2. On Monday, June 17, to great fanfare, Hawaii Governor Neil Abercrombie signed SB 482 into law. What does SB 482 do? A. Dismantles the state Public Lands Development Corporation. B. Requires brewers claiming to be from Hawaii to say on labels where their beer comes from. C. Legalizes marijuana use in Hawaii. D. Encourages beekeeping across the state. E. Prohibits the taking of photographs of celebrities.

On Wednesday, June 12, Maui Electric Co. (MECO) filed a request with the state Public Utilities Commission. According to the June 15 Maui News, what did MECO ask for? A. That it be allowed to refund customers more than $8 million. B. That the PUC reconsider its recent ruling requiring that the utility refund customers more than $8 million. C. That it be allowed to raise residential rates 3.2 percent. D. That it be allowed to lower residential rates 3.2 percent.

3. According to Pacific Business News, Tesoro Corporation announced on June 17 that it’s selling all of its Tesoro Hawaii operations–including its Kapolei refinery–for about $400 million. Who did PBN say is the buyer? A. Par Petroleum. B. Shell Oil Company. C. Koch Industries. D. BP. E. Connex. See answers, page 29

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Hawaii Supreme Court Vindicated Geoffrey Woodhall Now if the state Legislature needs to get its act together

Mmm... medicine

n 2010, Hawaii resident Geoffrey Woodhall was apprehended at Kona Airport. He held a plastic baggie filled with marijuana and was charged with promoting a detrimental drug in the third degree. He was sentenced in a simple decision based on the fact that possession of marijuana, in any amount, is an offense. But the ordeal, which exemplified the inconsistent laws governing medical marijuana in Hawaii, proved less than simple. In fact, the Hawaii Supreme Court finally settled the matter–in Woodhall’s favor–on May 31. Woodhall is a certificate-holding member of Hawaii’s Medical Marijuana program, which allows the “medical use” of marijuana. “Medical use,” in quotes, is important here, defined by Hawaii Revised Statutes as “the acquisition, possession, cultivation, use, distribution, or transportation of marijuana or paraphernalia relating to the administration of marijuana to alleviate the symptoms or effects of a qualifying patient’s debilitating medical condition…” The law puts card-holding medical marijuana patients in an awkward place, sandwiched by a further statute, stating that “The authorization for the medical use of marijuana in this section” won’t apply: • In a school bus, public bus, or any moving vehicle; • In the workplace of one’s employment; • On any school grounds; • At any public park, public beach, public recreation center, recreation or youth center; or • Other places open to the public The state argued that “medical use” includes “possession, transportation, and acquisition” so “the prohibition on medical use in public places under HRS § 329-122 includes possession, transportation, and acquisition.” Or in other words, Woodhall broke the law by simply having his medicine in a public area. Understandably, Woodhall thought this absurd. “[A]qualifying patient would seemingly always be in violation of H.R.S. § 329-122(c) (2)(E) when transporting their marijuana unless they were walking/transporting in their own home, on private property, etc.,” he said in his response. “How the qualifying patient would be able to get their medical marijuana to their own home or to private property

seems a near impossibility since they would arguably have to walk somewhere open to the public, such as a sidewalk, to get to their home or private property.” The court and the judge sided with Woodhall in the end, agreeing that the intent of the Medical Marijuana program is indeed to allow the access of Medical Marijuana. Further, the court found that “the district court erred in re-determining the fact of medical use in contrast to the parties’ stipulation… We further hold that the rule of lenity requires us, under the specific facts of this case, to construe HRS §§ 329-121,-122, and -125 against the government, as there is an inconsistency between the authorized transportation of medical marijuana under HRS § 329-121, and the prohibition on transport of medical marijuana through ‘any… place open to the public’ under HRS § 329-122(c)(E).” In other words, the inconsistency and lack of clarity in the law requires the courts to side with patients. And thus a baggie-caused case, resulting in years of litigation that almost ended in the state making an absurd invalidation of its own program, drew to a close. Hawaii aside, numerous states have operational medical marijuana programs (and the University of California has its own Center of Medicinal Cannabis Research). This is despite the federal government’s continuing classification of the drug as Schedule I (potential for abuse and no medical use). What’s more, a recent survey shows that 57 percent of Hawaii residents favor legalizing, taxing and regulating marijuana instead of continuing the flawed and indefinite, trillion-dollar prohibition approach pursued for nearly a century. Even hemp, which contains no psychoactive compounds, is illegal under federal law, despite its myriad uses from paper to fabric. Plus, seriously, we live Hawaii. Yet in the last session, efforts to legalize recreational cannabis, decriminalize possession, and grow hemp have failed to pass the legislature. A bill to modify the Medical Marijuana program did pass, though the changes don’t touch the issue brought into question by the Woodhall case. ■ axel@mauitime.com + @axelbeers For more news articles, visit our news blog at: mauifeed.com

By Anthony Pignataro

News & Views

PHOTO BY ALBERTO CABELLO - WIKIMEDIA

Coconut Wireless

Would you buy a pizza from this man?

ROCK & BREWS & KISS & BS Paia is normally a sleepy little North Shore town, known for attracting a rich mix of Europeans, hippies and kite surfers. It’s a mellow place, with boutiques, curio shops and restaurants that provide an eclectic selection of foods from around the world. But now, the delicate strands that bind up Paia into such a colorful community are stretching–quite possibly to the breaking point– and it’s all the fault of Kiss. See, the front man of the old rock band Kiss is a very conservative guy named Gene Simmons, who later achieved prominence by starring in Gene Simmons Family Jewels, a reality show about his own life and by launching the men’s lifestyle publication Gene Simmons Tongue, which actually published five complete issues in 2002 before going under. Anyway, Simmons is now a partner in Rock & Brews, a chain of restaurants based in California that intends to open a new location in the old Jacques’ spot in Paia. This has caused a certain degree of consternation on the part of those who currently live and work in Paia. “The Paia Merchants Association works to maintain the town’s vibrant commercial district by honoring the area’s unique seaside culture and history while looking toward the future,” said association executive director Rose Potter in a June 13 email to me that detailed her organization’s concerns over Rock & Brews’ plans. “Unregulated formula based businesses potentially threaten this goal and could lessen our town’s appeal.” “Unregulated formula based business” is a very generous way to describe Rock & Brews. It’s probably not a bad place (if your idea of a great restaurant is one that offers a selection of pizzas, burgers, fried things and beers) and might even make decent neighbors in the community. “This is not going to be a ‘cookie-cutter’ restaurant from the Mainland and forced into Paia,” developer Bill Frampton said in The Maui News’ June 11 story on the controversy. “Instead, the design has been calibrated and modified by professional Maui architects and [a] Hawaiian artist and cultural adviser to become part of the mul-

tilayered fabric of Paia.” But the focus on what the restaurant (slated to open near the end of this year) will look like and whether it will “fit” in with other town businesses detracts from what seems to me the real problem with Rock & Brews: that so much of it’s whole “concept” is either tired or just plain bullshit. “Our concept is all about making everyone feel like rock stars,” Simmons is quoted as saying in the April issue of Hawaii Business, which broke the story on Rock & Brews opening in Paia. The magazine then paraphrased Simmons, writing that “diners will feel like they’re backstage at a concert.” On paper, this is a dynamite concept: imagine walking into a restaurant and immediately getting mobbed by paparazzi photographers, hipster journalists and coked-out groupies while lawyers advise you to start suing teenagers and obsequious promoters instantly agree to all your most insane demands (like the time Van Halen asked that all the brown M&Ms be removed from their backstage candy). Unfortunately, Rock & Brews has different ideas of what actually transpires backstage at concerts. According to Hawaii Business, Rock & Brews’ atmosphere “will include big-screen TVs blasting classic music videos and concert footage from as far back as the ‘60s, plus posters and photos of America’s classic rock bands.” Wow, way to kill a dream. Then again, the whole notion of teaming rock music

with food named for song titles and beer has been done to death (see the global chain known as Hard Rock Cafe). Rock & Brew’s owners admit to this with little humor and no irony on the company’s own website (Rockandbrews.com): “Two friends at a Kiss concert enjoying craft brews had an epiphany: Nothing goes better than Rock & Brews,” states the website. “This insight may have occurred to other people before Dave Furano and Michael Zislis got together, but the two have brought their unique experiences to make their dream spot a reality in El Segundo” (for those unfamiliar with Southern California, El Segundo is a mostly aviation- and oil-industry city that borders Los Angeles International Airport). Looking over the Rock & Brews menu online, with its chili, fries, burgers, pizzas, hot dogs and beer–many of which are named after songs–the question isn’t whether the restaurant can look like it belongs in Paia, but how long the place will be open. Paia is home to Mana Foods, which is packed like all the time with locals who want healthy, organic, vegetable-

laden food. What’s more, there’s no resort anywhere near Paia, and Rock & Brews is planning on opening next door to Charley’s, which has long established itself as a top North Shore nightlife spot.

Overheard “Everyone needs to buy at least one Hawaiian shirt.” -Woman at the Grand Wailea, June 15

For Rock & Brews, all this bad publicity proceeding their opening may actually be good for them. Because after they open, they could face indifference, which most rock bands probably agree is worse than hatred.

SWEET SIXTEEN This issue, the first of volume 17, officially marks MauiTime’s 16th year of publication. That's right: we just got our driver’s license. Like any life form that’s survived 16 years, MauiTime has changed dramatically since its June 24, 1997 birth. Back then, the paper was just two guys (Tommy Russo and Mark D’Antonio) who traded Chico, California for Lahaina. D’Antonio wrote and edited all the stories, Russo built and sold all the ads and they did all the circulation themselves. They published biweekly, filling the paper with a mix of surf stories, features and, of course, the calendar grid that outlined what was coming up in island-wide entertainment. With emerging Internet and mobile technology driving many independently owned papers into corporate ownerships,

mergers or just plain out of business (fellow alternative paper Honolulu Weekly folded up just a few weeks ago), it’s no small thing for a news source that still focuses on paper to last even this long. Of course, MauiTime has been online since the beginning (Mauitime.com) but these days is also accessible through Facebook, Twitter and Flickr. For this, we must thank our readers. Without all of you standing by us through some tough times (the 9/11 attacksimposed flight bans, the Great Recession, the Kimo Apana administration.) we couldn’t have made it even this far. In gratitude, we’ll continue to do our best to bring you up-to-date calendar events, honest news stories and compelling feature stories. Our readers deserve nothing less. ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro For more news articles, visit our news blog at: mauifeed.com

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VERY PERSONAL HYGIENE Orestes De La Paz’s exhibit at the Frost Art Museum in Miami in May recalled Chuck Palahniuk’s novel and film Fight Club, in which lead character Tyler Durden’s principal income source was making upscale soap using discarded liposuctioned fat fetched from the garbage of cosmetic surgeons (thus closing the loop of fat from rich ladies recycled back to rich ladies). De La Paz told his mentor at Florida International University that he wanted only to display his own liposuctioned fat provocatively, but decided to make soap when he realized that the fat would otherwise quickly rot. Some visitors to the exhibit were able to wash their hands with the engineered soap, which De La Paz offered for sale at $1,000 a bar.

FIRETRUCK-CHASERS “Ambulance-chasing” lawyers are less the cliche than they formerly were because of bar association crackdowns, but fire truck-chasing contractors and “public adjusters” are still a problem–at least in Florida, where the state Supreme Court tossed out a “48-hour” time-out rule that would have given casualty victims space

to reflect on their losses before being overwhelmed by home-restoration salesmen. Consequently, as firefighters told the South Florida Sun-Sentinel in May, the contractors are usually “right behind” them on the scene, pestering anxious or grief-stricken victims. The Sun-Sentinel found one woman being begged to sign up while she was still crying out for her dog that remained trapped in the blaze.

UNCONVENTIONAL TREATMENT Researchers writing recently in the journal PLoS ONE disclosed that they had found certain types of dirt that contain antimicrobial agents capable of killing E. coli and the antibiotic-resistant MRSA. According to the article, medical “texts” back to 3000 B.C. mentioned clays that, when rubbed on wounds, reduce inflammation and pain. And researchers writing in May in the journal Pediatrics found that some infants whose parents regularly sucked their babies’ pacifiers to clean them (rather than rinsing or boiling them) developed fewer allergies and cases of asthma. On the other hand, parental-cleansing might make other maladies more likely, such as tooth decay. ■ chuck@mauitime.com

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Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

t was a beautiful Maui morning when I stopped by your fruit stand. You were just setting up and had all your local grown pineapples lined up in rows. “Good morning,” I said. “I just need a pineapple. You then told me that they were $10 a piece. “Wow, that is way high,” I said. “No thanks.” But as I turned around to get back into my car you started yelling and cursing at me. How dare you curse someone for not wanting to buy your absurdly overpriced pineapple! You messed with the wrong local girl! ■

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JUNE 20, 2013

THE

FASHION ISSUE

Maui fashion is its own breed. We make no excuses for our love of surf and sand or embracing lifestyle in a vacation destination. MauiTime along with local designers and shops show you a day in the life of looking good under the sun. Location: Westin Kaanapali Ocean Resort Villas, Pulehu an Italian Grill, Kai Ala Market, Spa Helani Photos: Sean M Hower Stylists: Jen Russo, Samantha Howard, Sarah Gerlach Models: Jazmin Repollo, Alexis Carlson, Loreley Clawson, Courtney Ramos, Alyssa Hudson, Ariana Hornkohl, Michael Donahoo, Shane Fontanilla Makeup: Holly Huden Hairstylists: Heather Green, Arianna Gardner Mahalo to the designers and shops that participated: Adventure Sports (Neil Pryde), Aloha Kissed, Arie Bikiniâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, BoxEleven, Goodwill, Gypsy Feet, Hi Tech, If the Shoe Fits, Le Ru, Mahina, Maui Thing, Oakley, Oneloa Hats, Paia Mercantile Lahaina, Passion 4 Fashion, R Handknits, Rainbow Jo, ReVival Menswear, Robinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Apparel Maui, Second Wind, Tamara Catz, Volcom, and Wings Hawaii.

Henna Pareo: Maui Thing Watch: Hi-Tech Surf Sports Earrings: Aloha Kissed @ Wings Hawaii Glasses & Shorts: Adventure Sports Maui Bikini Top, Necklace & Rings: Wings Hawaii

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Flip Flops: Volcom Kai Place T-Shirt: Wings Hawaii Elua Makani Boardshorts: Second Wind

Purse: Mahina Jewel Sandal: If the Shoe Fits Kimono, Jewelry: Wings Hawaii Necklace: Paia Mercantile Lahaina Pualani Bikini: Adventure Sports Maui

Tank: Volcom Reef Flip Flops: Hi Tech Sunglasses: Adventure Sports Maui Elua Makani Boardshorts: Second Wind

Pant: LeRu Bracelet: Mahina Acacia Bikini: Hi Tech Purse & Gypsy Feet Earrings: Wings Hawaii

Jewelry: Mahina Tiger Sweater: LeRu Bikini: Arie Bikini’s

Bikini Top: Arie Bikini’s

Jewelry: Wings Hawaii

Necklace & Clutch: Wings Hawaii

Shorts: Robin’s Apparel Maui

Pualani Bikini Bottom: Second Wind Surf Shop

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L to R - Dress: BoxEleven, Necklace & Bangles: Wings Hawaii, Sunglasses: Oakley, Boots: LeRu; Tank: Wings Hawaii, Cropped Sports Tank: BoxEleven, Skirt, sunglasses & shoes: Adventure Sports, Earrings: Gypsy Feet, Ring: Wings Hawaii; Shirt: Second Wind, Boardshorts: Volcom, Shoes & Sunglasses: Adventure Sports, Dakine Backpack: Hi-Tech Surf Sports.

L to R - Kimono & Jewelry: Wings Hawaii, Tank: LeRu, Skirt: R Handknits, Boots: Adventure Sports; Tank: Maui Thing, Shorts & Jewelry: Wings Hawaii, Sandals: If The Shoe Fits, Purse: Mahina; Smile Hoodie: Maui Thing, Tank & Bracelet: Mahina, Shorts: Hi-Tech, Necklace: Wings Hawaii, Sandal: Tamara Catz.

L to R - Dress & Boots: Adventure Sports, Jewelry: Wings Hawaii, Backpack: Volcom; Tank: Adventure Sports, Board Short: HI-Tech; Top, Jewelry & Bag: Wings Hawaii, Shorts: Mahina, Sandals: If The Shoe Fits; Shirt: Maui Thing, Boardshort: Adventure Sports, Shoes: Adventure Sports; Dress, Necklace: Paia Mercantile Lahaina, Bangles: Wings Hawaii, Bracelet & Shoes: Mahina.

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L to R - Dress, Jewelry & Shoes: Mahina, Belt: Goodwill, Wrap Bracelet: If the Shoe Fits, Necklace: Wings Hawaii; Jacket, Belt & Jewelry: Wings Hawaii, Bustier & Glasses: Hi-Tech; Shorts & Ring: Mahina, Wrist Cuff & Shoes: If The Shoe Fits; Dress & Shoes: LeRu, Jacket: Hi-Tech, Bag: Wings Hawaii; Button Up: ReVival Menswear, Reef Flip Flops: Hi-Tech, Boardshorts: Volcom, Tee: Maui Thing.

L to R - Top: Passion 4 Fashion, Skirt & Earrings: Wings Hawaii, Jewelry, Shoes & Bag: Mahina; Dress: Passion 4 Fashion, Earrings, Bangles & Ring: Wings Hawaii, Dakine Clutch: Hi-Tech Surf Sports; Vintage Jumper, sunglasses & shoes: LeRu, Necklace & Earrings: Paia Mercantile Lahaina.

Shirt: LeRu L to R - Dress, Bag & Jewelry: Wings Hawaii, Shoes: Goodwill; Sweater & Jewelry: Mahina, Bikini Top: Arie Bikiniâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, Pants: Paia Mercantile Lahaina, Hat: LeRu, Necklace: Paia Mercantile Lahaina, Sandal: If The Shoe Fits.

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Food & Drink

Kings of Spade They’re playing Charley’s this Friday with Freeradicals Projekt BY MARINA SATOAFAIGA

ings of Spade is appearing at Charley’s Saloon in Paia this Friday (see Picks, pg. 18, for show info), so we got cozy with Kasi Nunes, the band’s lead vocalist. MAUITIME: Why did the band come together? KASI NUNES: I was bartending at Anna Bananna’s Pub and jokingly got asked to come up and sing a song with the house band. As it happened we all knew “Sweet Child of Mine” by Guns N Roses and launched into it. In the middle of the song, some sort of chord got struck in me and I became overcome with a feeling of, “hey, this is what you’re meant to do!” It was never a dream or anything I pursued in the past. It was just fun as hell. When I sing, I mean it... it feels like getting possessed. Jesse (guitar) who wasn’t even old enough to drink would come in and shred Johnny Cash tunes every week. I would always look forward to his open-mic performances so when I decided to start a band he was the first guy I approached. We sort of recruited everyone else out of different bands they

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were playing with at the time. MAUITIME: What’s something your fans don’t know about the band? NUNES: Besides being band-mates, we are pretty tight friends, too. Also, for me... people see a spiked mohawk and suspenders and assume I’m not from here. I’m Hawaiian, born and raised in Waianae, and graduated from Kamehameha Schools. MAUITIME: What do you look forward to on Maui? NUNES: Everybody, especially on Maui, is so friendly and welcoming and enthusiastic. It’s the home of my favorite band, The Freeradicals Projekt. I will fly to Maui just to go to a Freerads show. We get to cruise with Aunty Angela and Uncle Phil Benoit (two of your local Jazz musicians) that are our hanai Maui parents in Makawao. One of my best friends, Summer Starr, is there, too. She has been supporting our band since its inception on Oahu. We have a tradition that after every Maui show we eat crepes at Cafe Des Amis in Paia the very next morning.

We are lucky to have made friends with Maui’s live music scene cultivators and supporters like Scott Johnson, Trish Da Dish, Brendan Smith, David Randall and Mike O’Dwyer. Most recently we got a new super awesome booking agent who lives in Maui but books clubs on the mainland–Tammy Miranda. We also agree the prettiest girls, by far, are on Maui. We love how Maui loves to dance. I don’t care if the dance floor is empty. I’m happy dancing by myself, but on Maui, people always jump in and start cutting it up with me. It’s awesome. MAUITIME: What inspires your music? NUNES: I write the lyrics and they’re almost always autobiographical. I write to share my stories and connect with other people. Musically, it all starts with a riff from Jesse’s head. He writes 99 percent of the music. If we dig the riff, we explore it and decide as a group how it plays out. When all the parts are there I feel like the song tells me what it's about. MAUITIME: What’s your favorite tour snack?

NUNES: Jameson for the boys. Throat Coat tea for me. MAUITIME: What’s the craziest fan story you have encountered on tour? NUNES: In Austin, a fan asked us if we wanted to go to a house party and we were like “hell yeah!” There was a terribly boring live band playing super slow, depressing, wrist-cutting music. Soon as we got there we knew we had to plot an escape but it wasn’t easy because it was a “quiet” party and you could see what everybody was up to. I saw our drummer, Matt, slowly trying to sneak away so I began to follow his lead. Just before we reached our tour van the host of the party was like, “Hey, where you guys goin’?” Without flinching, Matt made up a story about how our bass player texted him and that he was drinking in a bar downtown and got the shits and needs to get picked up right away because it’s an emergency. We couldn’t stop laughing as we burned rubber out of there. ■ editor@mauitime.com For more A&E news, visit MauiTime’s events blog at: mauivents.com

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Picks

BY MARINA SATOAFAIGA @sandtothecity

THURSDAY, JUNE 20 LOCAL ARTIST’S JEWELRY SHOWING – Maui Hands Gallery is presenting local artist Robin Kaimikaua this Thursday at the Paia location. She’ll be showing off her line of sterling silver earrings. The Oahu-born artist uses the shells and glass she’s collected over the years as the focal point in her silver settings. True to its place of origin, Kaimikaua’s jewelry is described as “simple and organic.” Free. 1:30pm4pm. Maui Hands Gallery (84 Hana Hwy., Paia,); 808579-9245, Mauihands.com. Photo courtesy Maui Hands

PICNIC FOR POKI – Picnic for Poki presents the Lee sisters (otherwise known as Makani). Hailing from the Windy City, they’ve used music to stay connected to their Hawaiian roots. It was a visit to the Big Island more than a decade ago that first sparked the ohana’s interest in Hawaiian music. Now the Lee girls make their debut on the Picnic for Poki stage. They’ll perform traditional and contemporary Hawaiian music, but with a Midwest flare. Roselani Place will offer free water, coffee and cookies. Free. 11am. Historic Ka’ahumanu Church (103 S. High St., Wailuku). Photo courtesy Picnic For Poki

FRIDAY, JUNE 21 WILLIE K – Polish off your Aloha Friday with a Stella Blues starlight performance by Hawaii’s one and only Willie K. Voted multiple times as the island’s best male vocalist and preeminent entertainer of the year, the multifaceted musician has expanded his empire beyond music. Appearing in television and movie roles (like the locally produced comedy Get a Job), Willie K continues to captivate audiences at home and abroad. Catch an intimate performance of this true Hawaii celebrity. $10. 10pm. Stella Blues (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-3779, Stellablues.com. Photo: Sean M. Hower

MAKAWAO TOWN PARTY – The block party continues this Friday with the Makawao Town Party. Merchants, artists, neighbors alike will gather for an evening themed “Endless Summer.” Maui Classic Cruisers will be rolling through for your viewing pleasure, while the main stage will feature musical guest Rising Strong (6pm) and Jamie Gallo with Simply Twisted (6:30). The Makai Stage will feature John Dillon (6pm) and Conner Snow (7:30). Choose from a list of ono grinds like “Dibs on the Ribs” or “Wow wow waffle.” Keiki can look forward to more face painting fun. 6pm-9pm. Free. Makawao Town, Mauifridays.com

FRIDAY, JUNE 21 KINGS OF SPADE TRIBUTE TO GUNS N’ ROSES – Head to the North Shore for a special tribute to American rock legends Guns ‘n Roses. Kings of Spade and The Freeradicals Projekt will set fire to Charley’s stage with a live tribute to the national musical icons. Maui welcomes back KOS for an evening of lead singer Kasi’s vocal reach and the band’s unique rock-dance-pop-blues fusion. Joining the stage will be Hawaii-based Freeradicals Projekt. Blending funk, hip-hop and soul, that seven-piece band will change your mood for the better. 21+. $15 pre-sale, $20 at the door. Doors 9pm/ Show 10pm. Charley’s Saloon (142 Hana Hwy., Paia), Gnrmaui.eventbrite.com. Photo oto courtesy Charley’s

BENGALI’S ‘GONE TOMORROW’ EP RELEASE PARTY – Here’s your chance to celebrate the release of Bengali’s new EP Gone Tomorrow. Big Hawaiian will host the evening while a DJ will be dropping the beat. Support local musician and Maui native Benjamin Arcangel (Bengali–left in the photo, standing next to Jason Arcangel) as he continues on his journey as a solo artist. The EP is available in select locations so don’t miss your opportunity to grab your copy! $10. 9:30pm. LuLu’s (1221 Honoapi’ilani Hwy, Lahaina), Reverbnation.com/bengali.

SATURDAY, JUNE 22

FRIDAY, JUNE 21

DOWN TO EARTH GRAND RE-OPENING – A staple on Dairy Road in Kahului for the last three decades, Down to Earth is inviting the public to celebrate its grand re-opening. Following an extensive renovation that tripled the 3,000-square-foot location to 9,000 square feet, Down to Earth is now better poised than ever to serve Maui’s wellness needs. The improved energy efficient and environmentally friendly store boasts a larger variety of products. And on Saturday, you can enjoy 35 percent off (10am-9pm) 100-plus products, live performances by Paula Fuga, Mike Love and Sam Gonsalves (noon), health and nutrition info sessions (11am & 2pm) and cooking classes (10:30am & 4pm). Free. 9am. Down to Earth (305 Dairy Rd., Kahului); 808-877-2661, Downtoearth.org. Photo: Sean M. Hower

ART=MIXX POP FASHION – ArT=Mixx is returning to the Maui Arts and Cultural Center. A combination of visual, performance and interactive art, the evening will pay homage to three local designers via a Fashion Runway Show. Celebrating wearable art, the runway will feature Jennifer Jensen, Koa Johnson and Juicy. Guests are invited to get in the action with the “Guys In Ties” and “Show Me Your Shoes” contests. The Iona Dance Company will make an appearance as well. Dance to the beats of a crafted music mix, get lost in the video displays or simply soak in all things art. Food and beverages will be available for purchase. 21+ Free. 7pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Yokouchi Pavilion/A&B Amphitheater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, Mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy the MACC

SATURDAY, JUNE 22

SUNDAY, JUNE 23 SU

OBON FESTIVAL – As part of an island-wide celebration, the Obon Festival stops in central Maui at the Pu’unene Nichiren Mission. The Buddhist event honors ancestors with dances and rituals. The time of year generally calls for food offerings, lantern lighting and traditional Obon dance. The event has evolved into a social and cultural event preserving Buddhist customs in the Japanese culture. The festival continues throughout the summer, visiting missions around the island. Free. 7pm service. 8pm dance. Puunene Nichiren Mission (9 Ani St., Kahului). Photo: Sakurai Midori/Wikimedia Commons

KI HO‘ALU GUITAR FESTIVAL – Gather your ohana for the annual Ki Ho’alu Guitar Festival, which will take place on the grounds of Maui Arts and Cultural Center. Literally translated as “loosen the key,” the festival has been attracting the elite in slack key guitar for the past two decades. Look forward to an afternoon of song, locally made merchandise and food available for purchase. The impressive lineup includes Hapa, John Cruz, George Kahumoku Jr. and many more. Guests are invited to bring a blanket or low laying beach chair to watch the show. Free. 1pm-7pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, Mauiarts.org. Photo: Aubrey Hord

MONDAY, JUNE 24

SUNDAY, JUNE 23 SOLO AUTOCROSS – This Sunday, the Maui Sports Car Club of America is inviting fans and drivers alike to their monthly Solo Autocross event. Sports car enthusiasts will get the chance to show off their driving skill while maneuvering through the specially crafted obstacle course. May the best driver and car win! Drivers are required to wear Snell 95 or later helmets and covered shoes when racing. Go to drive or just watch the fun. $25 for members; $35 for visitors plus $15 weekend pass. 8am-2pm. Maui Motor Sports Park (Mokulele Hwy/ Directly behind Armory), Mauiscca.net. Photo: DJ Shin/Wikimedia Commons

LES MISERABLES TICKETS GO ON SALE – Maui, the time has arrived to purchase your tickets for the much anticipated Maui Academy of Performing Arts production of Les Miserables. On Monday, June 24, tickets go on sale at the MACC box office or online for the Aug. 16-24 run. Based on Victor Hugo’s novel and set during the French Revolution, the production follows Jean Valjean and his pursuit of restoration following a life of imprisonment. The Tony Awardwinning production will feature 80 cast members accompanied by a 25-piece live orchestra performing iconic ballads like “I Dreamed a Dream.” Don’t miss out on this larger than life production. $15-$65. Maui Arts and Cultural Center Box Office (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, Mauiarts.org. Photo: Jack Grace

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 26 FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL – Need a midweek vent sesh? Or just an escape from reality? This Wednesday, Ambrosia features another break-up flick–the theme for the month of June! This week it’s Forgetting Sarah Marshall, starring Jason Segel and Kristen Bell. Peter (Segal) escapes a recent breakup via a trip to Hawaii. Much to his dismay, ex-girlfriend (Bell) has similar plans and both find themselves on Oahu. Munch on free popcorn and take advantage of the Happy Hour prices until 9pm. No cover. 7:30pm-9:30pm. Ambrosia’s Martini Lounge (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-1011, Ambrosiamaui.com. Photo: Eva Rinaldi/ Wikimedia Commons

18 JUNE 20, 2013

VOLUNTEERING ON VACATION – Got a couple hours to spare? Or are you on vacation and interested in local community efforts? The Pacific Whale Foundation invites you to join the Volunteering on Vacation program this Wednesday at O’o Farm. Nestled in the slopes of Kula, the farm grows coffee, fruit trees, garden vegetables and more for the local restaurateurs who own it. Volunteers are invited to help with a variety of farm chores. Wear shoes and a light jacket and call ahead of time to sign up. 8:45am-11:30am. O’o Farm (651 Waipoli Rd., Kula.); 808-249-8811, Volunteersonvacation.org.

Film

Man of Steel There’s nothing super about this Superman reboot BY BARRY WURST II

Man of Steel ★★★★★

Rated PG-13 / 143 Min.

he most interesting thing about Superman has always been his unacknowledged status as the American Jesus, a figure defined by his genuinely good character and compassionate nature. Most superheroes are far more interesting when out of their spandex disguises and revealed for whom they are. Batman and Iron Man are striking by themselves by Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark are fascinating in the way they are unbalanced, troubled men in dire need of counseling. Clark Kent may be an act but he’s a great one, a kind, dorky goofball who couldn’t possibly be the Man of Steel. The disguise was never the glasses but the demeanor. Man of Steel is too much Super, not enough of the Man. It takes giant liberties with the character and, while Superman is my favorite comic book superhero, I’m not precious about the changes; I only wish the alterations were good. Superman (Henry Cavill) fails at keeping

his identity secret, is investigated by a plucky reporter, Lois Lane (Amy Adams) and battles the evil Zod (Michael Shannon). If you’ve seen Superman II, where Superman was played, definitively, by Christopher Reeve and Zod was scarily portrayed by Terrence Stamp, you’ve already seen the better version of this story. If you’ve seen the previous five Superman movies, even the lesser sequels, then you may be surprised how noisy, over-plotted and uninvolving this movie is. Made to sell lots of toys and provide a “record breaking” opening weekend for its studio, Man of Steel begins terribly, becomes tolerable at best and only succeeds at bombarding its audience with lots and lots of spectacle. Russell Crowe, in possibly the silliest performance of his mostly impressive career, plays Jor-El, Supe’s father, in a 20-minute prologue that’s set on the planet Krypton. The sequence steals visually from The Matrix and the Star Wars prequels. The movie already seems beyond salvaging, as little baby Kal-El is sent to Earth, setting up a child-to-manhood narrative that it strangely abandons. Instead, we get too-brief, choppily inserted flashbacks. Cavill, who was awful in Immortals and The Cold Light of Day, comes across like... how to say this

tactfully... a smug douche bag. Adams is strangely unappealing, chemistry-free as Lane, Shannon is limp in Less than super his first big blockbuster role, Laurence Fishburne never gets to make the juicy Perry White role his own and, even with lots of unconvincing old age make-up, Diane Lane, playing Ma Kent, will never convincingly appear unattractive and could have played Lane herself. While the special effects are tremendous, as are the super-punch-outs, there’s so many of them, they finally become uninteresting. The explosions never stop. I still don’t know how Superman could kick a truck into a power line without making a sound or how Zod can conquer space travel but send a message to Earth’s TV station with worse pixilation than my Netflix streaming account. Also, why can Superman kill a villain with supernatural powers in such an absurdly simple way? And what’s with all the plugs for IHOP, Sears and U-Haul? At two and half hours, it’s never

dull but doesn’t make you care, either. Director Zac Snyder does away with his tendency to over-use slow motion but otherwise, this is as badly over-directed, heartless, frenetic and dumb as the other movies from “The Visionary Director of 300.” Film buffs and movie critics smelled blood in the water with After Earth but the disappointment of Man of Steel comes as a real shock. Christopher Nolan is credited as co-screenwriter and producer; I wonder if The Joker held him hostage when he signed on to this. If this is the newer, grittier Superman, it has a long way to go. Nothing here replaces the earlier films or John Williams’ classic theme music. Though I must say that I liked the final scene and the merciful way the end credits told me I could go home. ■

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Film

Showtimes

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT BY TONI COLOMBO 2:55, 6:15, 9:25. FRi-SAT 1:15, 6:45. SUN-WED 1:15, 6:45.

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm)

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX

After Earth-PG13-THU 12:15, 2:35, 4:55.

After Earth-PG13-FRI-SAT 6:35, 8:55. SUN-WED 6:35, 8:55.

Despicable Me-PG-TUES-WED 10:00am. Epic-PG-THU 12:30, 3:00, 5:30. Fast & Furious 6-PG13-THU 10:45, 1:35, 4:25, 7:15,10:05. Man of Steel-PG13-THU 11:45, 2:40, 5:35, 8:30 . FRI-SAT 12:45, 3:45, 7:45, 10:45. SUN-WED 12:45, 3:45, 7:45, 10:45. Man of Steel 3D-PG13-THU 11:00, 1:55, 4:50, 7:45, 10:40. FRI-SAT 10:30, 1:50, 5:00, 8:45. SUN-WED 10:30, 1:50, 5:00, 8:45. Monsters University-G-THU 8:00. FRISAT 12:00, 1:40, 4:15, 5:15, 7:00, 9:30, 10:30. SUN 11:00, 12:00, 1:40, 4:15, 5:15, 7:00, 9:30, 10:30. MON-WED 12:00, 1:40, 4:15, 5:15, 7:00, 9:30, 10:30. Monsters University 3D-G-FRI-SAT 2:40, 8:00. SUN-WED 2:40, 8:00. World War Z-PG13-THU 8:00. THU 10:30. FRI-SAT 11:45, 2:35, 5:25, 8:15, 10:50. SUN-WED 11:45, 2:35, 5:25, 8:15, 10:50. World War Z 3D-PG13-THU 8:00. FRISAT 10:45, 1:35, 4:25, 7:15, 10:00. SUNWED 10:45, 1:35, 4:25, 7:15, 10:00.

Maui Mall, Kahului, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm)

Before Midnight-R-THU 11:15, 11:45, 1:40, 2:15, 4:05, 4:45, 6:35, 7:25, 9:55. Epic-PG-FRI-SAT 11:15, 1:40, 4:05. SUN-WED 11:15, 1:40, 4:05. Fast & Furious 6-PG13-FRI-SAT 1:00, 1:40, 7:15, 10:10. SUN-WED 1:00, 1:40, 7:15, 10:10. Hangover Part 3-R-THU 12:40, 3:00, 5:25, 7:45, 10:05. FRI-SAT 4:25, 10:00. SUN-WED 4:25, 10:00.

Iron Man 3 3D-PG13-THU 9:00. Now You See Me-PG13-THU 11:20, 2:00, 4:40, 7:20, 10:10. FRI-SAT 11:25, 2:00, 4:40, 7:20, 10:15. SUN-WED 11:25, 2:00, 4:40, 7:20, 10:15.

Star Trek Into Darkness 3D-PG13-THU 9:00.

World War Z-PG13-THU 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 10:00. FRI-WED 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 10:00.

The Great Gatsby-PG13-THU 11:45,

THE BLING RING - R - Crime/Drama - A gang of teens stalk celebs online, then rob their homes. Based on actual foolishness. 90 min.

THE INTERNSHIP - PG13 - Comedy - Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn star in this two-hour commercial for Google that pretends to tell the story of two old guys who intern at the company. 119 min.

HANGOVER PART 3 - R - Comedy - Things go out of control yet again for Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis and Ed Helms. 100 min MAN OF STEEL - PG-13 - Action/ Comic - Henry Cavill stars as Clark Kent

Man of Steel-PG13-THU 12:00, 3:30, 7:00, 10:30. FRI-WED 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, 10:30. FRI-WED 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, 10:30. Monsters University-G-FRI-WED 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45.

NOW YOU SEE ME - PG13 - Crime/ Thriller - Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo and Woody Harrelson star in this flick about magicians who carry out heists during their performances. 115 min.

NOW PLAYING

Fast & Furious 6-PG13-THU 12:30, 3:45, 7:15, 10:15.

Star Trek Into Darkness-PG13-THU 12:35, 3:30, 6:25, 9:20. FRI-SAT 12:55, 3:45, 6:40, 9:35. SUN-WED 12:55, 3:45, 6:40, 9:35.

BEFORE MIDNIGHT - R - Drama - This, the third picture in Richard Linklater’s Before trilogy, finds Celine (Julie Delpy) and Jesse (Ethan Hawke) on Greece, nearly 20 years after they met. 109 min.

MONSTERS UNIVERSITY - G - Animation - In this prequel to Monsters Inc., we see Mike (Billy Chrystal) and Sulley (John Goodman) before they became best friends. 110 min.

This Is The End-R-THU 11:25, 11:55, 1:55, 2:25, 4:25, 4:55, 6:50, 7:30, 9:15, 10. FRI-SAT 11:25, 11:55, 1:55, 2:25, 4:25, 4:55, 6:50, 7:30, 9:15, 10. SUNWED 11:25, 11:55, 1:55, 2:25, 4:25, 4:55, 6:50, 7:30, 9:15, 10.

THE PURGE - R- Horror/Sci-fi - A family deals with being taken hostage during a 12hour period when all crime is legal in this flick about a possible future America. 85 min.

The Internship-PG13-THU 1:00, 4:15, 7:30, 10:20.

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play some general and his son, respectively, who crash on Earth 1,000 years in the future. Be warned: It’s directed by M. Night Shyamalan, and you know how his movies have been lately... 100 min EPIC - PG - Animation/Family - A teen girl battles evil in a forest with a motley band of characters. Voices by Beyonce Knowles and Colin Farrell. 102 min. FAST & FURIOUS 6 - PG13 - Action/ Crime - Vin Diesel and Paul Walker are back for even more muscle car chases and ultra-thin plot lines. 130 min.

THIS IS THE END - R - Comedy Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill and James Franco plays themselves in this post-modern comedy about the end of the world. 107 min.

VOTED BEST

WORLD WAR Z - PG-13 - Action/Horror - Zombies are loose around the world, and only Brad Pitt (playing some UN guy) can stop them. 110 min.

TATTOO SHOP BY M AU I LO C A L S !

LAST CHANCE AFTER EARTH - PG13 - SciFi/ Action - Will Smith and his son

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658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day)

in this new look at a very old superhero. See this week’s film critique. 143 min.

THE ICEMAN - R - Crime/Drama - Michael Shannon stars in this look at real-life hitman/family man Richard Kuklinski. 105 min.

The Purge-R-THU 12:10, 2:30, 3:05, 5:10, 7:15, 8:00, 9:35, 10:05. FRI-SAT 12:30, 3:00, 5:20, 7:25, 9:30. SUN-WED 12:30, 3:00, 5:20, 7:25, 9:30.

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NEW THIS WEEK

DESPICABLE ME - PG - Animation Three cute little orphan girls take on a criminal mastermind with global domination ambitions and a vast army of Minions. 95 min.

The Internship-PG13-THU 12:15, 3:15, 6:30, 9:15. FRI-SAT 12:45, 3:35, 6:30, 9:40. SUN-WED 12:45, 3:35, 6:30, 9:40.

2012/2013

Last chance to see Fast &Furious 6

579.8515

The Best Of Maui

120 HANA HWY • UPSTAIRS PAIATATOOPARLOR.COM JUNE 20, 2013 21

Calendar

Da Kine Calendar BY TONI COLOMBO

BIG SHOWS

LANA’I UKULELE FESTIVAL - Sun, Fri & Sat. Take the ferry to our neighbor island for a celebration of legendary ukulele performers. Grammy winner Richard Ho’opi’i, Na Hoku winner Sheldon Brown and Paula Fuga are just a few of the all stars lined up for the three-day musical event. Jam sessions will take place at various locations. Call or go online for more info. Free. Four Seasons Resort Lanai, 808-275-2157; lanaiukulelefestival.com SUPPER CLUB WITH JOHN CRUZ - Fri, Jun 21. $30 show only, $60 dinner & show. 6-9pm. Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., # 201); 808-8743779; stellablues.com KINGS OF SPADE AND FREERADICALS PROJEKT - See Picks, pg. 18. WILLIE K - See Picks, pg. 18. SUPPER CLUB WITH HAPA - Sat, Jun 22. $30 show only, $60 dinner & show. 6-9pm. Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., # 201); 808-8743779; stellablues.com KI HO’ALU GUITAR FESTIVAL - See Picks, pg. 18. GEORGE KAHUMOKU’S SLACK KEY SHOW - Wed, Jun 26. George Kahumoku’s Slack Key Show presents Bobby Ingano, George Kahumoku Jr., Da ‘Ukulele Boyz’ and Sterling Seaton paired with hula dancer Wainani Kealoha for a signature slack key performance. 37.99-78.38. 7:30pm. Napili Kai Beach Resort, (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Napili); 808-669-3858; slackkeyshow.com

STAGE

MOM’S GIFT - Mon, Jun 24. Join the cast as they read Mom’s Gift, a story of a mother’s spirit returning to her family after her death to earn her “wings” before passing into light. Free. 6:30pm. Iao Theater, (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-242-6969; mauionstage.com ‘ULALENA - Mon-Fri. A nonpareil portal to Hawaiian history and kanaka maoli lore; what ‘Ulalena accomplishes–five night a weeks for 14 years strong–is without a doubt the most powerful and entertaining cultural education on Maui. Starting at $15.99 keiki / $39.99 adults. Kama’aina, dinner and VIP packages available. 6:30pm. Maui Theatre, f.k.a. Maui Myth & Magic Theatre, built specifically for ‘Ulalena, (Old Lahaina Center, 878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; mauitheatre.com

FOODIE

WINE TASTING WEDNESDAY - Wed, Jun 26. If your palate craves eco-friendly flavors, you’ll enjoy this month’s Wine Tasting Wednesday, spotlighting Organic Wines. Master Sommelier, Patrick Okubo will explore whites and reds created through original, non preservative methods paired with the resort’s fine dining. $40+. 6-7pm. Makena Beach & Golf Resort, (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888 AMASIA CELEBRATES ONE YEAR - Daily. For the month of June, top chef Alan Wong is celebrating the first birthday of his restaurant, Amasia, with Asian-fusion menus and special dining discounts. $49. Amasia, (3850 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-8913954; wailearesortdining.com/alan-wongo-amasia HULA GRILL’S CHEF TASTING MENU TO BENEFIT HILT - Daily. Hula Grill announced it will donate a portion of the proceeds from its Chef’s Tasting Menu to the Hawaiian Islands Land Trust as part of its Legacy of Aloha Program. The three-course menu is offered daily from 4:45-5:45pm and all evening at the Chef’s Counter. $25.95. 4:30-5:30pm. Hula Grill, (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pwy.); 808-667-6636; hulagrillkaanapali.com VEGETARIAN COOKING CLASSES - Tue, Jun 25. See (and sample!) how Chef Jessica Oshier

22 JUNE 20, 2013

uses local, organic and wholesome ingredients to make healthy and delicious entrées, soups, breakfasts, and desserts. No registration required. Free. 5:30-6:30pm. Down To Earth, (305 Dairy Rd., Kahului); 808-877-2661; downtoearth.org WHEAT FREE WEDNESDAYS - Wed, Jun 26. Every Wednesday sample wheat and gluten free items at Whole Foods as part of Gluten Awareness Month. Plus learn how cutting back on your grain intake can benefit your health. Free. 5pm. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); (808) 872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui TAKE IT OFF THURSDAYS - Thu, Jun 20. Every Thursday Whole Foods will share tips for cooking without added fats, salts and sugars to help you achieve your best health and assist with weight loss. At each session there will be a chance to win prizes for highest percentage of weight loss. Free. 6pm. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui THIRSTY THURSDAY - Thu, Jun 20. Botero Bar wants to quench your thirst for something new with their weekly tastings. This month, sample Blue Hibiskus, Botero Gatorade and the Absolut Hibiskus Cosmo while listening to live entertainment and admiring art by Fernando Botero. $20. 6-9pm.Botero Bar & Lounge, (3850 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-8751234; grandwailea.com/resort-dining RELAY FOR LIFE BENEFIT DINNER - Fri, Jun 21. This weekend, Vineyard Food Company is giving back to the American Cancer Society with your help! Reserve dining at 5:30pm or 7:30pm. Menu includes a pupu, salad, soups, entree and dessert. BYOB. $37+tax. 5:30pm. Vineyard Food Company, (1951 E. Vineyard St., Wailuku); 808243-3663; chefg@maui.net PIZZA PARTY WEEKEND - Every Sun & Sat. Pizza takes the spotlight every weekend at Whole Foods. Every Saturday enjoy $10 whole pizzas, Sundays buy a Take & Bake Pizza and get the second one for free! Free. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui JAPENGO SATURDAY SUSHI SCHOOL - Sat, Jun 22. Join sushi chef Jay Ledee in Japengo’s chic sushi lounge. Learn how to create Japengo’s signature sushi rolls from scratch, with hands-on instruction from Chef Jay and Japengo’s team of expert sushi chefs. $35 per person (includes sushi and non-alcoholic beverages). Maximum 20 people per class. 3-4:30pm. Japengo at the Hyatt Regency, (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-4796; maui.hyatt.com SUNDAY NIGHT LAULAU - Sun, Jun 23. Enjoy a healthy and modern take on a traditional Hawaiian dish, every Sunday evening at Ko. Ko Restaurant at The Fairmont Kea Lani, Maui, (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-4100; fairmont.com HOLY CANNOLI SUNDAYS - Sun, Jun 23. Whole Foods offers made to order cannolis with seasonal flavors every Sunday. Bring friends to share the sweetness every week noon to 3pm. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui FOODIE FIGHT - Sun, Jun 23. Join Whole Foods every Sunday for a Food Fight! The stakes are high as each team competes for that week’s Best Recipe. Sample and vote for your favorite dish. Each week the Pineapple Trophy will be awarded to the team with the most votes. Free. 2pm. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui CHEFS’ CABANA CLUB - Mon-Sat. This month’s Chefs’ Cabana Club is featuring local ingredients, lemon and corn in a three-course dinner and wine pairing. Dine on cuisine prepared by Chef Michael Young in your own private cabana overlooking the Pacific Ocean. $42/+$18 for wine pairing. Bistro

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

6/20

6/21

6/22

6/23

6/24-6/26

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Envy Nightclub 9pm; $10 cover

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

Alter-Ego Party w/ DJ Del Sol & DJ CIA 10pm; no cover

Get Your Sexy On with DJ LaRage 10pm; no cover

BLUE LAGOON Wharf Cinema Center, 672 Front St., Lahaina - 667-0988

Ladies Nite w/ DJ 10pm; no cover

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. 744 Front St. (Rooftop), Lahaina - 669-6425

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

Molokini, (3850 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-1234 ext.4900; wailearesortdining.com/bistro_molokini MOUTH WATERING MONDAYS - Mon, Jun 24. Come and try free samples of what is in season, new or has got us excited each week. Free. 5pm. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui

DJ Blast 9:45pm; $5

WED - Casanova’s Famous Ladies’ Night: Fast Forward with DJ Kurt, 10pm; $5 before 11pm, $10 after

Mark Johnstone & Lenny Castellanos 6:30pm; no cover

Kings of Spade & Freeradicals Projekt 10pm; $15-$20 cover

Willie K. 10pm; $10 cover

MON - Open Mic & Jam, 7-10pm / TUE Howard Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm / WED Evan Dove & Friends, 6:30-8:30pm ( no cover)

Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; no cover

Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Justin Phillips 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30pm / TUE - Jazz, 7:30-10pm WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm

Rampage 10pm; no cover

Wooden Castle & Unified Soul 10pm; no cover

Satterday Saints 9pm; no cover

Gina Martinelli, 6pm

TUE - Pool League, 6pm WED - Happy Hump Day

Quiz Night 7pm; no cover

Dance Party 9pm; no cover

Jordan 6pm; no cover

Randall Rospond 6:30-9pm; no cover

Alapa Drive 6:30-9pm; no cover

Salsa Saturday w/ Dr. Nat 6:30-10:30pm; no cover

Ryan Robinson 6:30-9pm; no cover

MON - Dj Kamikaze / TUE - Scott Baird & Nara Boone / WED - Soul Kitchen Trio (6:309pm)

Jah Residentz 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Ka’ale 9pm-close; no cover

Karaoke 8pm-close; no cover

MON - Karaoke, 8pm / TUE - DJ Daizy, 9pmclose / WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm; no cover

BLOOD DRIVE FOR ARMED SERVICES June 20-23. Help save a life by giving blood at the ASBP blood drive. Every ounce makes a difference. Free. 10am-4pm. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808877-3369; queenkaahumanucenter.com

FRIDAY, JUNE 21

THURSDAY, JUNE 20

ART=MIXX: POP FASHION - See Picks, pg. 18.

PICNIC FOR POKI - See Picks, pg. 18.

FINS & FLIPPERS TOUR - Take a closer look at sharks and sea turtles on this exclusive behind-thescenes encounter. Tours are guided by a knowledgeable Ocean Naturalist and include the chance to observe supervised feeds at Hammerhead Harbor and Turtle Lagoon. $10 plus admission per guest. Space is limited, call for reservations. 11:30am. Maui Ocean Center, (192 Ma’alaea Rd.); 808-270-7088; mauioceancenter.com

CLIFF DIVERS -Daily. Experience the thrill with your feet firmly on the ground! Watch experienced cliff divers take the plunge off Ka’anapali’s famous Black Rock. Free. 6-8pm. Sheraton Maui Resort and Spa, (2605 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-0031 POLYNESIAN PERFORMANCES - Daily. Come see Maui’s most talented halaus perform center stage. Free. 7pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-6615304; lahainacannerymall.com

Will Hartzag 7-9:30pm; no cover

MON - Dave Carroll, 7pm / TUE - Jordan Cuddy, 7pm / WED - Justin Phillips, 7pm

MON - Amy’s Mix 9pm / TUE - Dance Party 10pm / WED - Live Music, 10pm

HI Grade Productions 9:30pm; no cover

EVENTS

HISTORY IN SONG - Travel through time at the historical history in song event this Saturday. Bring low style seating and get cozy under the stars as you listen to songwriter and storyteller Kimo Nevius tell stories about old Hawaiian whale ships, missionaries, cowboys and plantation workers. Bring snacks, beverages will be available for purchase. $10/$5 for Historical Society Members/ Keiki under 12 are free. 7pm. Bailey House Museum, (2375-A Main St., Wailuku); 808-2443326; mauimuseum.org; info@mauimuseum.org

MON - Open Mic w/ MT, 10pm-close; no cover

DJ Big Mike & Dj Kamikaze 10pm; no cover

MAKAWAO THIRD FRIDAY TOWN PARTY See Picks, pg. 18.

HULIAU YOUTH ENVIRONMENTAL FILM FESTIVAL ENCORE - After selling out their premier festival this month, Maui Huliau Foundation returns with the second and final showing of inspiring youth eco-film projects. Support students from 13 Maui schools as they feature 11 educational films and raise funds to continue the club. Free/donations encouraged. 6:30pm. Seabury Hall, (480 Olinda Rd., Makawao); 808-572-7235

TUE - Toxic w/ DJ TRVR, 10pm; no cover WED - DJ J-Zen, 10pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo 7-9:30pm; no cover

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

Special Guest DJ Wok 9pm; no cover

Emily Joyce 7-9:30pm; no cover

CASANOVA CHARLEY’S

WED - Karaoke w/ Sista Deva, 8pm-12:30am (all sets no cover)

Salsa Night 9pm; no cover

Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4900

CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL

Sunrize Saturdaze with DJ Decka 10pm; no cover

DJ Jamn J 10pm; no cover

ALOHA FRIDAY MUSICAL JAM - In partnership with Hawai’i on TV, each Friday a different musical style is featured by local artists. Experience Maui at its best! Free. 11:30am-1:30pm, Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-8723310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui

SATURDAY, JUNE 22 MISS MAUI FILIPINA 2013 PAGEANT - With over 50 years of scholarship fundraising, the Miss Maui Filipina Scholarship Pageant gives young Filipino ladies the opportunity to speak for the Filipino community and promote a platform close to their heart. All contestants receive scholarship funds, coaching and the chance to represent their culture. Maui Tropical Plantation, (1670 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808244-7643; mauitropicalplantation.com DOWN TO EARTH GRAND RE-OPENING See Picks, pg. 18. LOUISE ALBORANO - Live outdoor music at the mall! Free. 1pm. Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; mauimall.com

OBON FESTIVAL - See Picks, pg. 18. PET ADOPTIONS WITH HARF - Join the Hawaii Animal Rescue Foundation (HARF) for a very special opportunity to rescue your next best friend! Every Saturday, HARF will bring animals in need of a good home. For more info, see websites or call. 10am4pm. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-446-4126; hawaiianimalrescue.org YO-GI-OH CARD SESSION - Free. 3pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com

SUNDAY, JUNE 23 TE TIARE PATITIFA HULA PERFORMANCE Free. 11am. Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; mauimall.com OHANA DAY - Bring the whole family to the Bailey House Museum Ohana Day! Admission is half off plus guest musicians, Nevah Too Late, will be there to help you get your jam on! $3 adults/ $2 seniors & ka‘amaina/ children under 12 free. 124pm. Bailey House Museum, (2375-A Main St., Wailuku); 808-244-3326; mauimuseum.org SPCA SPAY NEUTER CLINIC FOR CATS - Help stop pet overpopulation by spay/neutering your cat. SPCA is hosting “pay what you can” clinics to assist the community in fixing our feline friends. Wailuku. 808-280-0738; SPCAMaui.org; info@spcamaui.org MAUI SPORTS CAR AUTOCROSS - See Picks, pg. 18. FAMILY MAGIC - All-ages comedy and magic with Lauro Castillio. Free. 11:30am. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com FAMILY SUNDAYS - Games, crafts, food and more! 12-2pm. Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; mauimall.com YO-YO DEMONSTRATION - Maui Toy Works presents a Yo-Yo and skill toys workshop and demonstration. Free. 4pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall,

(1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-6615304; lahainacannerymall.com LINE DANCING MAUI PANIOLO POSSE - Free. 4:30pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com

MONDAY, JUNE 24 HOALOAH’AINA VOLUNTEER ON VACATION PROGRAM - See Picks, pg. 18. WHALE WATCHING - The Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary will provide a whale watching info booth at the Aquarium’s Harbor Plaza throughout whale season. 9am1pm. Maui Ocean Center, (192 Ma’alaea Rd.); 808-270-7000; hawaiihumpbackwhale.noaa.gov HULA PERFORMANCE - Original hip-ster stylie performance. Free. 10:30am Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808877-3369; queenkaahumanucenter.com

TUESDAY, JUNE 25 ULTIMATE WHALEWATCH - Learn firsthand what it is like to be a whale researcher on a personally guided group tour. This is a special opportunity to interact with Pacific Whale Foundation’s researchers and marine biologists. 7:3011:30am. Pacific Whale Foundation’s Ma’alaea Ocean Store, (300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ste. 100); 808249-8811 ext. 1.; pacificwhalestore.org ‘UKULELE LESSONS - Learn some strumming techniques and impress your friends. Free. 5:30pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; lahainacannerymall.com MAUI WEIGHT LOSS ALLIANCE - Join Whole Foods for a very special class and meet Jerome, Nutritarian Extraordinaire! Jerome can help you revitalize health & wellness and take back your life. Free. 6pm. Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui

JUNE 20, 2013 23

YDAY 3PM-7PM HAPPY HOUR EVER $ $

2 BUD LIGHT • 3 WELLS • 5 JAGER $

THURS

6.20

1 TACO SPECIAL

EVERYDAY 3-5PM • 10-11PM LIVE MUSIC @10PM

RAMPAGE

WOODEN CASTLE & UNIFIED SOUL @10PM

SAT

6.22

SATTERDAY SAINTS @9PM

GINA MARTINELLI @6PM

MON

6.24 WED

6.26

FRIDAY

6.21

SUN

6.23

$3 CORONA DAY TUES POOL LEAGUE 6.25 JUKEBOX PARTY @9PM

MAUI’S COLDEST BEER • FOOD TIL MIDNIGHT OPEN 11AM - 1:30AM 1279 S. KIHEI RD. • 874.9299

24 JUNE 20, 2013

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

6/20

6/21

6/22

6/23

6/24-6/26

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ISANA 515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

JAVA JAZZ 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

Karaoke

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

WED - Karaoke Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover

MON-TUE - Farzad & Mike Madden / WED - Tracy Stiles, all 7pm; no cover

JAY’S PLACE

MON- Open Mic WED - Live Music, 10pm-close; no cover

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 661-6699

KAHALE’S 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

Kawika’s Krew 7pm; no cover

KAHANA GRILL 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

Eight Track Players 7pm; no cover

Maui Blues & Co. or Jarod 7pm; no cover

MON - Red Fish / TUE - Kihei Cowboys WED - Country Herb & Side Effects, 7pm

TOLO 9-11pm; no cover

1810 8-10pm; no cover

Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa, 6-8pm

MON - Benny & Glenn, 6-8pm / TUE-WED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm (both sets no cover)

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

Pau Hana Jazz 3:30-6:30pm; no cover

4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Ste. 301, Kahana - 669-4000

KIMO’S

Kenny Roberts 7pm; no cover

1810 6:30-8:30; no cover

KOBE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St. (Lounge Area), Lahaina - 667-5555

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR

MON - Trivia Night, 7pm; no cover WED - NOA ZEB, 10:30pm; no cover

843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

L‘AVA SPORTS BAR & KARAOKE 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

Free Karaoke 2pm-2am; no cover

LILIKOI RESTAURANT & WINE BAR

TUE - Free Karaoke, 2pm-2am; no cover

Maui Blues Co. 7:30-10pm; no cover

810 Haiku Rd., Haiku - 575-2629

LONGHI’S LAHAINA

TUE - Johnny Ringo, 8-10pm; no cover

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

Far West Rock Trio 6-9pm; no cover

Bengali Arkangel & The Bottomless Tree 9:30pm; $10 cover

DJ Big Mike & DJ Kamikaze 10pm; no cover

Cipher Sundaze Goldawn Won 9pm; no cover-$10

MON - DJ Mark 10pm / TUE - Trivia Night, 8pm / WED - Karaoke w/ Dave, 10pm

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON - David Wolfberg / TUE - The Benoits WED - Ranga Pae (all 5:30-8:30pm)

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Trish da Dish Pub Quiz, 9pm

DJ Dave 9pm; no cover

Soul Kitchen Trio 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

The Celtic Tigers 6:30-8:30pm; no covr

MON - The Makai Jazz Group, 6:30pm / TUE - Brenton Keith’s Bag O’ Tricks 7-9pm/ WED - Willie K., 7pm; $65

LULU’S LAHAINA Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

MERRIMAN’S

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 26 UNCLE WAYNE AND HOWLING DOG BAND PLAYS FOR KEIKI - Featured performers for this summer’s “Dig into Reading” keiki program, Uncle Wayne and Howling Dog Band bring music to libraries throughout Maui County. This educational and entertaining performance will get keiki dancing and singing along. 10am. Wailuku Public Library, (251 S. High St., Wailuku); 808-243-5766; librarieshawaii.org WOW! WAILEA ON WEDNESDAYS - The Shops at Wailea hosts their weekly arts and entertainment series, featuring a performance in the lower courtyard and a slew of shop-to-shop specials. Free / @ShopsAtWailea on Twitter. 6:30-8pm. The Shops at Wailea, Lower Courtyard, (3750 Wailea Alanui); 808-897-6770 ext. 2; theshopsatwailea.com MAUI SMUG - The In-Real-Life Forum for All Social Media Users on Maui. Capacity is limited. Be sure to register early. Free (Not Catered). 4-6:30pm. MEDB’s Malcom Center, (1305 North Holopono St., Kihei); mauismug.com

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL - Wed, Justin Phillips 7-9:30pm; Thu, Adam Masterson 7-9:30pm; Fri, Emily Joyce 7-9:30pm; Sat, Jonny Ringo 7-9:30pm; Sun, Will Hartzag 7-9:30pm; Mon, Dave Carroll 7-9:30pm; Tue, Jordan Cuddy 7-9:30pm. (672 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0988. COOL CAT CAFE - Wed, Jordan Cuddy 7:3010pm; Thu, Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; Fri, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sat, Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; Sun, Justin Phillips 7:30-10pm; Mon, Peter D 7:3010pm; Tue, Jazz 7:30-10pm. (Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908. DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Every Mon & Tue, Eddie & Alika 6-8:30pm; Daily, Hula Performance 6:30pm; Wed, Kalapana 3-5pm; Wed,

Michael & Greig 6-8:30pm; Thu, Garrett & Peter 6-8:30pm; Fri, Garrett 3-5pm; Fri, Damon and Tim 6-8:30pm; Sat, Tim 3-5pm; Every Sun & Sat, Damon & Ron Oversize Productions 6-8:30pm; Sun, Dani Barerra 3-5pm; Mon, Kealii Lum 3-5pm; Every Tue & Thu, Ben 3-5pm. (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina); 808-662-2900. FIVE PALMS LAHAINA - Daily, Live Entertainment Nightly 5:30-8:30pm. (1450 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0937. FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. - Sun, Ryan Robinson 6:30-9pm; Mon, Dj Kamikaze 6:309pm; Tue, Thunder and Lightnin’ 6:30-9pm; Wed, Tom Conway 6:30-9pm; Thu, Randall Rospond 6:30-9pm; Fri, Avi & Indio 6:30-9pm; Sat, Salsa Saturdays w/ Dr. Nat: Latin/Salsa 6:3010:30pm; Tue, Scott Baird and Nara Boone of Crazy Fingers 6:30-9pm; Wed, Soul Kitchen Trio 6:30-9pm; Fri, Apala Drive 6:30-9pm. (744 Front Street, Lahaina); 808-669-6425. HARD ROCK CAFE - Fri, Evan Shulman 6-9pm. (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400. HULA GRILL - Tue, Jarrett Roback 1:30pm; Daily, Hula Grill Happy Hour 3-5pm; Tue, Damon Parillo & Roy Kato 4pm; Tue, Wili Pohaku 6:30pm; Every Mon, Wed & Thu, Ernest Pua’a 11am; Wed, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Wed, Peter DeAquino 4pm; Wed, Ernest Pua’a, Kamuela & Roy Kato 6:30pm; Thu, Alika Nakaoka 1:30pm; Thu, Kaniala Masoe 4pm; Thu, Damon Parillo, Ron Heeton and Keali’i Parillo 6:30pm; Fri, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Every Sun, Fri & Sat, 1810 4pm; Fri, Kawika Lum Ho, Roy Kato & Albert Kaina 6:30pm; Sat, Damon Parillo 1:30pm; Sat, Danyel Alana, Derick Sebastian and Roy Kato 6:30pm; Sun, Danyel Alana 1:30pm; Sun, Derick Sebastian, Ryan Tanaka and John Kahaiali’i 6:30pm; Mon, Kawika Lum Ho 1:30pm; Mon, Armadillo & Derek 4pm; Mon, Derick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30pm; Every Sun, Tue, Fri & Sat, Kawika Lum Ho 11am. (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pwy., Bldg P, Lahaina); 808-667-6636.

JAPENGO AT THE HYATT REGENCY - Fri, Lydia and Nino 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Kahala Greg 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, Kelly Covington Duo 6:308:30pm; Mon, Margie Heart 6:30-8:30pm; Thu, MondoKane 6:30-8:30pm. (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-661-1234. JAVA JAZZ/SOUP NUTZ - Every Thu & Sat, Rick Glencross 7pm; Fri, Guest Performer 7pm; Fri, Tracy Stiles 7pm; Every Sun, Mon & Tue, Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm. (3350 L. Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Honokowai ); 808-667-0787. KAHANA GRILL - Fri, Jazz Maui Featuring Ellen Bellerose and Shiro Mori 3:30-6:30pm. (4405 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy Ste. 301, Kahana); 808-669-4000. KIMO’S - Thu, 1810 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, 1810 8-10pm; Every Sun & Mon, Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa 6-8pm; Every Tue & Wed, Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm. (845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811. LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Every Wed, Thu & Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Sat, Harry Troupe 7:30-9:30pm; Sun, Greg Di Piazza 7:30-9:30pm; Every Mon & Tue, Martin Tevaga 7:30-9:30pm. (730 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0700. LAHAINA SPORTS BAR - Mon, Trivia 7-9pm. (843 Waine‘e St., Lahaina); 808-667-6655. LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Thu, Jarret & Wilson 3-5pm; Fri, JD & Friends 3-5pm; Sat, JD & Harry 3-5pm; Sun, Merv Oana 3-5pm; Wed, Jarret & Josh 3-5pm. (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy. Bldg. J); 808-661-4495. LONGBOARDS KA’ANAPALI - Every Tue, Wed, Thu & Fri, Solo guitarist 5:30-8:30pm. (100 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-1200. LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Fri, Justin Phillips 6:30-9:30pm; Sat, Ben DeLeon 6:30-9:30pm; Thu, Far West Rock Trio 6-9pm. (Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-0808. MERRIMAN’S - Daily (except Mon & Tue), Ranga

Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Mon, David Wolfberg 5:308:30pm; Tue, The Benoits 5:30-8:30pm. (1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua); 808-669-6400. OCEAN POOL BAR & GRILL - Mon, Ukulele/ Lounge 4-7pm; Fri, Ukulele/Lounge 4-7pm. (6 Ka’i Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200. PAILOLO BAR & GRILL - Every Tue, Wed & Thu, Ukulele/Pop 5-8pm. (6 Ka’i Ala Dr., Lahaina); 8088-667-3200. PARADISE GRILL - Wed, Gretchen 6-9pm; Thu, Harry Troupe 6-9pm; Fri, Gretchen 6-9pm; Sat, Justin 6-9pm; Sun, Deeson (Hawaiian Music) 6-9pm; Mon, Marvin Taraga 6-9pm; Tue, Johnny Ringo 6-9pm. (2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-3700. PINEAPPLE GRILL - Thu, Island Rhythm Sounds of Josh Kahula of Nuff Sedd 7-10pm; Fri, Brother Damien’s Ocean Beach Party 7:30-10pm; Sat, Island Sounds with Alika & Eddie 7-10pm; Wed, Jazz Sounds of Fulton Tashombe 6-9pm. (200 Kapalua Dr.); 808-669-9600. PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Thu, Greg di Piazza feat. Alana Cini 6-9pm; Tue, Ah-Tim Elenicki 6-9pm. (658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-8881. RB BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm. (4465 Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana); 808-669-8889. RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE - Every Sun & Sat, Live Jazz 6-9pm. (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-8815. SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT, NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT - Every Mon & Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Every Sun & Sat, Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Every Tue, Thu & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm. (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Napili); 808-669-1500. SHERATON MAUI RESORT AND SPA Daily, Live Dinner Music at The Cliff Dive Bar 6:30-8:30pm. (2605 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-0031.

JUNE 20, 2013 25

THURSDAY

6/20

THURSDAY NIGHT BLUES

W/ MARK JOHNSTONE & LENNY LENN LE NNY Y CA CASTELLANOS AST STEL ELLA LANO N

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER

FRIDAY

6/21

MAUI ARTS +

KINGS OF SPADE & FREERADICALS PROJ PR PROJEKT OJJEK EKT T

ENTERTAINMENT

A LIVE GUNS N’ ROSES TRIBUTE

WITH MAUITIME FLAVOR

10PM • $15 PRESALE • $20 AT DOOR TICKETS AVAILABLE AT:gnrmaui.eventbrite.com g

SATURDAY SSA ATURD TUURD RDAY AY

UNCLE WILLIE K

SUNDAY

BREAKFAST SERVED AT 7AM

6/22 6/23

10PM 10P M • NO COV COVER ER

DON'T MISS OUR BLOODY MARY BAR! CHARLEY’S LIVE BAND MONDAY

6/24

OPEN MIC & JAM

TUESDAY

TACO TUESDAY W/

6/25

7PM-10PM • no COVER

HOWARD AHIA & FRIENDS

SPECIALS ON TACOS & MEXICAN BEER

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER

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6/26

.com

EVAN DOVE

& FRIENDS 6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER

CHARLEY’S SECRET-A GIRLS NIGHT OUT! FOOD & DRINK SPECIALS! PROCEEDS TO BENEFIT LOCAL CHARITIES!

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Mowing, Weed Whacking, Hedge Trimming, Irrigation Repairs, & More

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Attending Attending to to all all your your landscape landscape needs needs

LIVE MUSIC FRI, JUNE 21 6pm EVAN SHULMAN No Cover • All Ages

Invite you to join our beneÀt evening Àlled with music and dance at the Paradise Grill in Kaanapali.

Monday, June 24 @ 5:30pm Live music, silent auction and rafﬂe prizes! Featurin JD & Harry, Damien Awai and more...

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

CASANOVA’S FAMOUS LADIES NIGHT FAST FORWARD WITH DJ TREVOR MUSIC STARTS @ 10PM + $5 BEFORE 11PM - $10 AFTER

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA’S THE AWARDS

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI”

9:30pm HI-GRADE PRODUCTIONS No Cover • 21+

FRI, JUNE 28 6pm EVAN SHULMAN No Cover • All Ages 9pm REGGAE ON THE ROCK No Cover • 21+

SAT, JUNE 29

FRIDAY JUNE 21ST

SHOW STARTS AT 10PM NO COVER

THIRD FRIDAY MAKAWA IGNITE PRESENTS

DJ BIG MIKE - DJ KAMIKAZE ART MIXX RUNWAY AFTER PARTY

8pm WILLIE K $5 Cover • 21+

FRI, JULY 5 6pm EVAN SHULMAN No Cover • All Ages 9:30pm HI-GRADE PRODUCTIONS

DJ SWAMP

$15 cover • 21+

SATURDAY JUNE 22ND CHILLTOWN PRESENTS

REVENGE OF THE 80’S

SHOW STARTS AT 9:45PM $5 BEFORE 11PM

DJ BLAST

MAUI

26 JUNE 20, 2013

MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING + DINE & DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS CALL 808.572.0220 LOG ON AT WWW.CASANOVAMAUI.COM

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

6/20

6/21

6/22

6/23

6/24-6/26

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

PARADISE GRILL (MELLOS) Mellos Bar, 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Lahaina - 662-3700

PARADISE GRILL 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Lahaina - 662-3700

70s, 80s 10pm-1am; no cover

Club Night w/ DJ Ron 10pm-1:30am

Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

MON - Big John / TUE - Industry Night / WED - Paradise w/ DJ Irie Dole, 10pm; no cover

Harry Troupe 6-9pm; no cover

Salsa Dance Party w/ Rafael, 10pm, $5 cover

Justin 6-9pm; no cover

Hawaiian Music w/ Deeson, 6-9pm; no cover

MON - Marvin Taraga, 6-9pm / TUE - Johnny Ringo, 6-9pm / WED - Gretchen, 6-9pm

RB STEAKHOUSE

WED - Open Mic Night, 9:30pm; no cover

4465 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina - 669-8889

SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Live Music 10pm; no cover

Island Thursday w/ DJ Blast, 10pm; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm; no cover

DJ Salvo 10pm-close; no cover

Rob+Ron=R2 9pm-midnight; no cover

Natalie 9pm-midnight; no cover

Gina Martinelli Band 7pm; no cover

Just Us 8:30pm; no cover

Kekona Ohana 8:30pm; no cover

Ah-Tim 4pm; no cover

John Cruz 6pm; $30-$60 Willie K 10pm; $10 cover

Hapa 6pm; $30-$60 Power Up Comedy 10pm; $10 cover

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

Uncle Dirty 9pm-1am; $4 cover

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

Salsa Night w/ Ernesto and Barbara, 7:30pm

Live music 6:30pm; no cover

Louise Lambert 6:30pm; no cover

WED - Blues with The House Shakers, 8:30pm; no cover

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

Party Rock Krew 10pm; no cover

Free Karaoke 9pm; no cover

MON-TUE - Free Karaoke, 9pm / WED - Singles Night, 10pm (All sets no cover)

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

WATERCRESS Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351

UMALU - Fri, Craig Soderberg 6-8pm; Sat, Kawika LumHo 6-8pm; Thu, Josh Sumibcay 6-8pm. (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-661-1234.

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Thu, Jamie Gallo 7pm; Wed, Red Carpet Movie Night: “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” 7:30pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-1011. BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Every Sun & Wed, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; Every Thu & Sat, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Fri, Tom Cherry & Mike Finkiewicz 5-8pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm. (300 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-243-2286. CAPISCHE? - Sat, Mark Johnstone with Marcus Johnson 7-10pm; Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm. (555 Kaukahi St., Kihei); 808-879-2224. DIAMONDS ICE BAR & GRILL - Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-9299. DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB - Sat, Jordan T. 6pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-9669. HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Sat, Ryan Robinson 4-8pm; Every Tue, Wed & Fri, Rick Glencross 4-8pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8010. JUST WING IT! - Every Fri & Sat, Chicken Boxing 5-7pm. (225 Pi‘ikea Ave., Kihei); 808-875-9464. KAMAOLE POOLSIDE CAFE - Wed, Steve Sargenti 6-9pm; Thu, Kawika Lum Ho 6-9pm; Fri, Gina Martinelli 6-9pm; Sat, Ron Shadian 6-9pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm; Mon, Rama Camarillo 6-9pm; Tue, Mike & Mark 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8860. KONO’S ON THE GREEN - Daily, Jazz and Smooth R&B Featuring Rare Vibrations 4-7pm. (550 Lipoa Pkwy, Kihei); 808-633-4220. MAKENA BEACH & GOLF RESORT - Fri, Glen Kakugawa 6-9:30pm; Sat, Deason Baybayan 6-9:30pm; Sun, Craig Soderberg 6-9:30pm; Mon, Reiko Fukino 6-9:30pm; Every Tue & Thu, Clay Mortensen 6-9:30pm. (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888. MAUI COAST HOTEL - Wed, Steve Sargenti 6-9pm; Thu, Kawika Lum Ho 6-9pm; Fri, Gina

Martinelli 6-9pm; Sat, Ron Shadian 6-9pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm; Mon, Rama Camarillo 6-9pm; Tue, Mike and Mark 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6284. MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Tue, Kilohana 7-9pm; Wed, Mike Finkiewicz 4-6pm; Wed, Jarret & Wilson 7-9pm; Thu, Tom Cherry 4-6pm; Thu, Tom Cherry and Mike Finkiewicz 7-9pm; Fri, Wolf 4-6pm; Fri, Alika Naka’oka 6:308:30pm; Fri, Alika 7-9pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 7-9pm; Sun, Alika Naka’oka 4-6pm; Sun, Kilohana 7-9pm; Mon, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Mon, Tarvin Makia 7-9pm; Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm. (10 Wailea Gateway Pl., Unit B-201); 808-891-2322. MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Wed, Joel Katz 5:30-6:30pm; Wed, Willie K 7-9pm; Thu, Catch a Bit of Ireland 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Margie Heart 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Soul Kitchen Trio 6-8:30pm; Sun, The Celtic Tigers w/ Bagpiper Allison Jackson 6:30-9:30pm; Mon, The Makai Jazz Group 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Brenton Keith and his Bag O’ Tricks 7-9pm. (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131. PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 5:30-7:30pm. (34 Wailea Gateway Plaza,); 808-879-7177. SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Wed, Mark Johnstone 4-6pm; Thu, Jaime Gallo 4-6pm; Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Sun, Viva La Rumba 4-6pm; Mon, Kanoa 4-6pm; Tue, Sebrina Barron 4-6pm. (Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd.; 808-874-6444. STELLA BLUES CAFE - Wed, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Thu, Ah Tim 4-6pm; Fri, Ahumanu 4-6pm; Sat, Vince Esquire & Kaulana 4-6pm; Sun, Jamie Lawrence 4-6pm; Mon, Mike Finkiewicz 4-6pm; Tue, Kimo 4-6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd., # 201); 808-874-3779. TAQUERIA CRUZ - Wed, Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; Thu, Open Mic Night w/ Artie Parti 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Ellis Ayres 6:308:30pm; Sat, Joshua on Maui 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Reggae w/ Ras Shaggai 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Kawika Ortiz 6:30-8:30pm. (2395 S. Kihei

Kanoa 10pm-close; no cover

MON - DJ Big Mike / TUE - DJ Salvo / WED Ladies Night w/ DJ Decka (all sets 10pm)

Karaoke 4pm; no cover

MON - Mahalo Monday / WED - Karaoke Party/Free Pool, 8:30pm TUES- Kimo, 4pm-6pm; no cover WED - Randall Rospond, 4pm-6pm; no cover

Rd. #112); 808-875-2910.

Kokomo Road, Suite 186, Haiku); 808-575-2629.

THE RED BAR AT GANNON’S, A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT - Thu, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm; Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm. (Wailea Golf Club House, 100 Wailea Golf Club Drive); 808-875-8080.

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE - Thu, Miss Meaghan Owens 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Richard Dancil Hawaiian Music 6-8pm. (71 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-9999.

THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Daily (except Mon & Tue), Live Music 8:30am-8pm; Sun, Louise Lambert 6:30-9pm; Every Mon & Tue, Live Music 11am-8pm. (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133. TOMMY BAHAMA’S TROPICAL CAFE - Every Thu & Fri, Margie Heart 5:30-9:30pm; Every Sun & Sat, Howard Ahia 5:30-9:30pm; Mon, Greg Di Piazza 5:30-9:30pm; Wed, Merv Oana 5:309:30pm. (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-9983.

NORTHSHORE CAFE - Thu, Troublemakers Trio 7-10:30pm; Fri, Makana 7-9pm; Tue, Ryan - Keyboards from Brooklyn 7-9pm. (824 Kokomo Rd., Haiku); 808-575-2770. PAIA BAY CAFE - Sun, Hawaiian Steel Guitar w/ Joel Katz 9-11am. (43 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-3111. STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR & GRILL - Fri, Jamie Gallo 5:30-7:30pm. (1127 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-1380.

CENTRAL MAUI CAFE O’LEI AT THE DUNES AT MAUI LANI - Every Fri & Sat, Phil and Angela Benoit 5:308pm; Thu, Reiko Fukina 5:30-8pm. (1333 Maui Lani Pkwy., Kahului); 808-877-0073. WAILUKU COFFEE COMPANY - Fri, Live Music 4-6pm; Fri, Drew Martin 5-7pm. (28 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-495-0259.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI BULLY’S BURGERS - Sun, Live Music 2-6pm; Sun, Open Mic Sundays. (15900 Piilani Hwy, Kula); 808-878-3272. CAFE DES AMIS - Mon, Mark Johnstone 6:308:30pm. (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-6323. CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT & SALOON - Wed, Evan Dove & Friends 6:30-8:30pm; Thu, Mark Johnston & Lenny Castellanos 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Live Band Open Mic & Jam 7-10pm; Tue, Howard Ahia 6:30-8:30pm. (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085. HANA HOU CAFE - Thu, Bentley 6-9pm; Fri, Steve Stargenti and Swiss 6-9pm; Tue, Hipnautical 6-9pm. (810 Haiku Rd.); 808-575-2661. LILIKOI GRILL RESTAURANT & WINE BAR Sat, Meaghan Owens 7:30-10pm; Fri, Blues Jam hosted by Maui Blues & Co. 7:30-10pm. (810

JUNE 20, 2013 27

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Sign Language BY CAERIEL CRESTIN GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) Although you might suddenly develop the mutant ability to walk through walls, vault barriers, or freeze time, I wouldn’t count on it. Let’s face it, the easy ways out you’re praying for are simply unlikely to happen, not without an unprecedented barrage of cosmic rays or supernatural spider bites. Although the other solutions are vastly more complicated, difficult, and mundane, you may have to accept that they’re the only way. To get you started, though, I’ll let you in on a little secret—if there is a shortcut through your predicament, the only way you’ll find it is by at least starting on the long way around. CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) Before the wound can heal, you’ve got to pull out the arrow, bullet, or sliver of glass. Instead, you’ve let the weapon that injured you stay lodged in the gash it created, because you fear that removing it will cause even more pain than you’ve already suffered. Unfortunately, a certain amount of bleeding and reopening is necessary so that you can finally move on. The consolation: although scar tissue can feel tight, constrictive, and inflexible compared to how you were before the injury, you’ll still be far more free than you were with the arrow poking out of your side. LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) You may feel like you’re in the middle of recording a compilation of your Greatest Hits. Although you’re a little bored rehashing this old material, please continue. It never hurts to remind your more fickle friends what’s so great about the things you’ve already done, and inspire them to consider the things you’re capable of in the future. Also, considering the occasional slump you suffered this past season, it might be good to remind yourself. Besides, while you’re in the studio remixing the same tired hits, there’s no reason you can’t lay down some fresh tracks for your next original masterpiece. VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) The one constant in life is change. You know this, so why do I see you resisting it so adamantly and persistently? You have to take risks and change some priorities as you age; holding yourself to the same standards at 50 as you did at 20 will only result in misery, disappointment, and regret, as it leads to outmoded concepts like being “past your peak.” Each chapter of your life has its own goals, limitations, and standards of success. It might be time to lose last chapter’s rulebook, and start writing a new one. LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Consider some difficult lessons you’ve learned: realizing that your superhero Underoos wouldn’t confer their corresponding superpowers on you; learning that doggie heaven might not even be in the same place as human heaven, if it even exists; or when it finally became unspeakably apparent that you could no longer drink yourself into oblivion and still go to work the next day. It’s not that I want you to relive the pain of discovering limitations of knowledge or ability. Instead, the next time you encounter an apparent constraint, remember the solutions you developed to surmount or circumvent those problems, like developing superpowers that will work whether you wear underwear or not; rewriting your religion into something that actually makes sense, and figuring out how to party without puking. Once it’s obvious that you’re better off for having conquered these crises, you might almost look forward to your next one. SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Imagine that two of your favorite limbs and your most beloved sense were all ripped from you in a cruel accident, but replaced by high-tech bionic prostheses. Initially, you might curse fate and grieve your lost parts, but eventually you’d let yourself become interested in your new ones. What can they do? Chances are, they’re stronger, faster, or more sensitive, if different than what you’re used to. That’s this week’s process—figuring out how to get over what you’ve lost and get into what you’ve gained. Since you’re not getting those stolen pieces back, work on assimilating your new ones. If you start now, by this time next week your old flesh and bone will be old news.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) This week, compose and swear your own version of the bodhisattva vow. In Buddhism, a bodhisattva is someone who makes a solemn oath not to proceed to the blissful state of enlightenment known as nirvana until all others have achieved that state. In your case, it’s more like refusing to leave a burning building before you’re sure everyone else has escaped, or giving everybody generous second helpings of dessert before you take any for yourself. If you practice simple acts of reasonable kindness like those I suggested, you ought to find yourself experiencing your own minor nirvana soon enough—almost without trying. CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) Let’s arm-wrestle. I wish I could just reach my arm through the page, because lately you thrive best when required to rise to a challenge. Although in general you prefer friendly competitions to cutthroat contests, you’ll find that either one will work amazingly well to bring out your best parts—especially because you’re likely to win nearly every trial you enter (you’d kick my skinny ass). That doesn’t mean you have to make everything hard. Some things (especially for you) are just easy. However, when given a choice to get to where you’re going via ropes course or airport people-mover, choose the one that will give you calluses. AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) Many Aquarians—sometimes at a surprisingly early age—surpass their parents in wisdom and experience. Suddenly knowing more about life than your sheltered folks can be a jarring prospect. It’s daunting to finally accept that their roles as guardians and guides have diminished. However, that doesn’t mean you have to “go it alone” for the rest of your days. Even if those who begat you don’t have a clue about the circumstances you face, there are still plenty of wise and worldly people you can learn from. So your old teachers can’t protect you anymore. Find some new ones, before you make mistakes you’d rather avoid. PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) This is a good week to start an online church. I know you’ve been practicing your own brand of amalgamated religion comprised of pieces of virtually every spiritual tradition or idea you’ve encountered. Isn’t it time to share it? It’s not that the masses are necessarily ready to hear it or get it (although assuredly a few will), it’s that you’re finally ready to share it, and absorb the lessons that the process of doing so reveals. You’re familiar with the concept that to truly learn something, you have to teach it—since you’ve yet to grasp one of the rosiest, juiciest apples of your personal tree of knowledge and wisdom, I’m hoping that teaching a few lessons from that orchard will help shake it loose.

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS

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ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) If you’ve retained enough of your inner child to hold onto dolls, video games, plastic trucks, and so on, good for you. If not, I’m confident that they’ve only been replaced by “adult” equivalents, like your kids’ toys, power tools, real trucks, etc. How do I know this? Because Rams have an astrological imperative to play. Resisting it would be like avoiding eating, or sleeping. Don’t deny your absolute need to recreate—it’s one of the best parts of you. If you’ve been refraining from indulging because of some disapproving lameass nearby, lose them immediately. There are plenty of people who are eager to get your hands on their toys. Find one (or two, or seven) of them. TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) “Me hungry,” you grunt, as you attempt to gnaw open a can of pork n’ beans with your teeth. On many a recent occasion you’ve been willing—and in some cases, determined—to use methods that some would consider primitive and inefficient, at least in comparison to the other options at your disposal, like the electric can opener you have in hand, or simply helping yourself to the delicious buffet spread straight ahead. Although there’s something to be said for old school—and even ancient—methods, don’t go overboard. You have advantages; use them, or risk losing them.

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

JUNE 20, 2013 29

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