17.40 Shedding Light On The Hawaii Sunshine Law, March 20, 2014, Volume 17, Issue 40, MauiTime

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March 20, 2014 ✚ Volume 17 ✚ Issue 40 ✚ FREE

g n i d d e h S E H T N O T LIGH ltt e against the a b ss e l d n e s ' l i c n Maui County Cou

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Contents VOLUME 17 ✚ ISSUE 40

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION:

ON THE COVER:

Which Muppet is closest to you personality-wise? March 20, 2014 ✚ Volume 17 ✚ Issue 40 ✚ FREE

THE BATTLE AGAINST THE HAWAII SUNSHINE LAW

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Animal

Culinary, Lifestyle & Business Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com Beaker Graphic Designer: Shane Fontanilla Oscar The Grouch Contributors: Jenn Brown (Miss Piggy), Caeriel Crestin, Jory John, Suzanne Kayian, Alex Mitchell, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Marina Satoafaiga, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II, Dayna Yamasaki, Malia Zimmerman Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com The Swedish Chef Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Necromorth the Christraper Admin. Executive: Sarah Gerlach (808) 244-0777 Cookie Monster Proofreader: Dina Wilson

Maui County

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NE LAW HAWAII SUNSHI

MAUIWATCH

THE 2014 SCION xB

Cover Design By: Darris Hurst

Shedding E N THthe LIGHCouncTil'sO endless battle against PG.19

WANT TO FLY?

Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com Statler

! E L I SM

NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY FOOD & DRINK A&E THIS WEEK’S PICKS FILM CRITIQUE FILM TIMES DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID CLASSIFIED HOROSCOPE MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2014 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime. MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

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News & Views

by Anthony Pignataro

QUIZ understood 2. On Mar. 14, County of Maui officials announced that technicians had finally fixed problems that had recently been plaguing the county’s offices at One Main Plaza in Wailuku. What was broken at the building? A. Computers B. Phones C. Elevators D. Coffee machines E. All of the above

MAUI NEWS W/ MAUITIME FLAVOR

3. Maui Electric Co. recently received

PHOTO BY JENNIFER REES / WIKIMEDIA

.com

3-31-2014

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1. Haiku native Evan Strong, who today lives in Nevada City, California, competed in the Paralympics’ snowboard cross event this weekend in Sochi, Russia. What did Strong win in the event? A. Gold medal B. Silver medal C. Bronze medal D. No medal E. 10-year prison term in Siberia

regulatory approval to do a power purchasing agreement with the proposed Mahinahina Energy Park in Lahaina, according to a Mar. 14 Pacific Business News blog post. How will that new plant produce power? A. Diesel fuel B. Solar C. Natural gas D. Biogas E. Geothermal

See answers, page 29

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News & Views

by Anthony Pignataro

PHOTO COURTESYNELDON MAMUAD

Coconut Wireless

The face of MAMUADWatch

MAUIWATCH FOUNDER SUES COUNTY OF MAUI

edly asked county officials if could appeal that claim, he has yet to receive a response, which is apparently why he filed the lawsuit. For his suit, Mamuad has engaged considerable legal talent. His complaint lists five attorneys from three firms and organizations: Lois K. Perrin and Daniel Gluck from the ACLU’s Hawaii office, Marcus Landsberg IV from the Landsberg Law Office in Honolulu and Phil Lowenthal and Samuel MacRoberts of the Law Office of Phil Lowenthal in Wailuku (Lowenthal and MacRoberts also represent MauiTime publisher Tommy Russo). “I am a Part-Time County employee and volunteer Liquor Commissioner,” Mamuad said in a Mar. 14 press release sent out by the Hawaii office of the ACLU. “Government officers & employees have First Amendment rights, and I just want the County to respect mine. If I was none of those, we would never be here.” Rod Antone, the county’s Communications Director, had no comment on the lawsuit. “The County of Maui will not be issuing

SWEET SUGAR BURN STARTS AGAIN There won't be a Na Koa Ikaika Maui baseball season this year, but this weekend I got a “Dear Neighbor” letter from Hawaiian Commercial & Sugar (HC&S) that says cane burning season is here. “The purpose of this letter is to inform you of the start of Hawaiian Commercial & Sugar Company’s 142nd harvesting season,” HC&S General Manager Rick W. Volner, Jr. said in the Mar. 10 letter. “On March 11th, the Pu‘unene Mill will return to life, harvesting and processing sugarcane, and you will again see familiar farm equipment in the fields and tournahaulers on plantation roads.” Yes, “return to life”–though you’ve doubtless watch smoke come out of the mill non-stop since the close of the 141st harvesting season last year, only now does the real HC&S magic happen. But never forget that it’s not easy burning, harvesting and processing near-

PHOTO COURTESY WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

MAUIWatch founder Neldon Mamuad alleges that county officials have repeatedly violated his First Amendment rights, states a 34page lawsuit Mamuad filed against the County of Maui on Mar. 3 in U.S. District Court in Honolulu. The lawsuit, which also asks for a temporary restraining order (TRO) against the county, paints a picture of county officials carrying out systematic harassment of Mamuad–who is also a county employee–whose page has so far gathered more than 25,000 “likes.” “This action seeks an order prohibiting Defendant County from interfering with Plaintiff Mamuad’s right to speak freely and ordering the County expunge any record of disciplinary action from Plaintiff Mamuad’s records,” the lawsuit states. “Plaintiff seeks declaratory and injunctive relief, and damages, from Maui County for its past and ongoing violations of Plaintiff’s classic right to free speech.” In the lawsuit, Mamuad says county officials have been haranguing him since last summer. In July 2013, Mamuad founded TAGUMAWatch, a Facebook page that sought to publicize the comings and goings of Maui Police Officer Keith Taguma, the infamous traffic cop known all over the island for writing thousands of tickets every year, as well as share traffic related news and photos. But just a few weeks after the webpages launch, the lawsuit states, county Corporation Counsel Patrick Wong called Mamuad (who had so far kept his name away from TAGUMAWatch) to say that he “was very upset with the page and wanted it to stop–specifically, that writing about Officer Taguma cease.” It was about this time that I got a tip that Mamuad, who also works part-time for County Councilman Don Guzman (for which he’s paid hourly, according to the lawsuit) and serves as an unpaid county Liquor Commissioner, was the guy running TAGUMAWatch. I called him, but Mamuad

would only say that he couldn’t comment on it, though he did admit to orchestrating a past “Taguma Watch” feature for a radio station that used to employ him (in February of this year, the lawsuit states, Honolulu Civil Beat ran a story naming Mamuad as the founder of MAUIWatch, the result of a “miscommunication” in which Mamuad “thought that he would remain anonymous). In any case, the lawsuit says that on the day I posted my Mauifeed blog post on Mamuad–Aug. 9, 2013–Wong asked for a follow-up meeting with Guzman. At that meeting two days later, the lawsuit states, Wong asked Mamuad to change the name of his website, which Mamuad agreed to do. Since then, TAGUMAWatch has been known as MAUIWatch, and has steered clear of Taguma. But according to the lawsuit, the county hasn’t steered clear of MAUIWatch. The lawsuit states that in August 2013, Taguma filed a complaint against Mamuad with county Managing Director Keith Regan, claiming that the website was harassing him. In September 2013, the lawsuit says, Mamuad received a letter from the Corporation Counsel’s office informing him of Taguma’s complaint. Though that letter didn’t tell Mamuad what exactly he allegedly did wrong, the lawsuit states that a subsequent letter informed Mamuad that he was in violation of the county’s Violence in the Workplace Action Plan. The lawsuit says that on Jan. 24, 2014, Regan sent Mamuad a letter stating that “you subjected a fellow County employee to harassment and cyber-bullying through the use of an online social media website”–which Mamuad denies in his lawsuit. The lawsuit further states that though Mamuad repeat-

It's alive!

a comment regarding the ACLU’s press release,” he said in a Mar. 14 email. On Mar. 17, the County Council’s Policy and Intergovernmental Affairs Committee voted to spend $50,000 on a “special counsel” to handle the matter.

Overheard “My daughter likes to bring me treasures that she finds. Well, the other day she came up to me and said, ‘Mommy, I have a treasure for you.’ It was a cockroach.” -Whaler’s Village in Ka’anapali, Mar. 16

ly 200,000 tons of heart-clogging sugar every year. But somehow, Volner wrote, the company’s 800 employees soldier on. “Farming is an inherently difficult business, and keeping 36,000 acres in active, productive agriculture is a challenge,” Volner wrote in the letter. “However, we remain steadfastly committed to continuing a viable farming operation in Maui’s central valley for our family of employees, and generations to come.” Oh, and if for some weird reason some of that neighborly cane smoke happens to blow your way, you might want to download Maui Tomorrow’s CleanAirMaui app that allows you to document cane smoke and ash, as well as send reports to all the relevant government agencies that track such things. You can get more info at Cleanairforkeiki.org. ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro For more news articles, visit our news blog at: mauifeed.com

MARCH 20, 2014

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News & Views

by Suzanne Kayian

PHOTO COURTESY LYNN ARAKI-REGAN

MauiSphere

L to R: Susie Thieman, Cesar Gaxiola

MNPDA GETS NEW PRESIDENT

PHOTO COURTESY ELENA RINGO / WIKIMEDIA

Cinderella!

Students interested in auditioning must register in advance by downloading and submitting a registration form at mauiacademy.org/sumr.asp. For more information about MAPA’s programs, visit mauaicademy.org or call 808-244-8760.

ABERCROMBIE SENDS MONEY TO EASTER SEALS HAWAII Easter Seals Hawaii will soon be able to complete its Maui campus for disability services in Kahului. Governor Neil Abercrombie announced the release of $950,000 in capital improvement grant funds to the nonprofit organization to finish building its Maui campus. The project includes additional space and facilities that will enable Easter Seals Hawaii to expand the adult and youth activities to help support the 2,500 adult population and more than 1,900 special

MAPA SUMMER CAMP CALLS FOR AUDITIONS The Summer Musical Theatre Camps hosted by Maui Academy of Performing Arts (MAPA) will be auditioning young performers on Sunday, April 6. Performers entering third grade and higher for the 2014-15 school year are eligible to audition for the Summer 2014 Musical Theatre Camps. Auditions will take place at MAPA’s studios in Wailuku. Students entering grades 3-8 will audition for the Youth Musical Theatre Camp. Students entering grades 9 and up will audition for the Teen Musical Theatre Camp. Youth auditions will be held from 12:30-2:30pm; teen auditions from 3-5pm. No previous experience is necessary to audition. MAPA suggests wearing comfortable clothes and asks those auditioning to be prepared to stay the full two hours. Students auditioning for the Teen Musical Theatre Camp are encouraged, but not required, to prepare 16 bars of a pop or musical theater song. Students who pre-

PHOTO COURTESY WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

The Maui Nonprofit Director’s Association (MDPDA) recently elected Cesar Gaxiola as its 24th president. Gaxiola, the executive director of the J. Walter Cameron Center, will serve the MNPDA until 2015 (Susie Thieman held the job previously). Gaxiola’s goals for the year include building the association’s membership in order to gain more resources and offer more help to MNPDA members. “Serving as the President of the MNPDA will give me an opportunity to learn about my fellow directors, their agencies and how they impact the community as well an opportunity to serve my fellow directors and give back to a great organization,” Gaxiola said in a statement released after his election; Gaxiola was installed in his new post on Dec. 12. The MNPDA was founded in 1989. The organization provides a recognized forum for nonprofit organizations to exchange personal and professional support and to cultivate resources to benefit themselves, their organizations and the community of Maui. The MNPDA meets on the second Thursday of each month at 8:30am in the MEO class-

room at 99 Mahalani St. in Wailuku. To join the MNPDA , visit Mauinonprofit.org, or write to them at Maui Nonprofit Directors Association, PO Box 1186, Pu‘unene, HI 96764.

pare a song should bring sheet music for the accompanist or bring accompaniment on an iPod or phone. The camps this year will work on two full-scale productions–Disney’s Cinderella Kids (youth) and Pippin (teens). The musicals will be performed at MAPA’s Steppingstone Playhouse in Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center. Parents should note that Pippin contains mature language and content. Parents who are concerned about the appropriateness of this show may request additional information about specific content by emailing friendsofmapa@mauiacademy.org. MAPA’s Summer Musical Theatre Camps are rooted in the philosophy that sustained, regular participation in the arts is essential to the development of young people. Students develop skills in acting, singing and dancing through a rigorous and fun curriculum taught by professional

Neil likes Easter Seals

teaching artists. The performances give students the opportunity to demonstrate the knowledge and skills they have gained through the classes and rehearsals including acting, dance, voice, professionalism, collaboration and self-control through focus and concentration. The Youth Musical Theatre Camp runs Mondays–Fridays (9am-2:30pm) from June 23 to July 23. Youth performances will be held July 24-27. Tuition for the camp is $875; scholarships are available. The Teen Musical Theatre Camp runs Mondays–Saturdays (9am-4pm) from June 9 through July 4. The teen camp will have additional choreography workshops on April 13, 27, May 18, 25, June 1; workshops run from 4-5:30pm. The teen production of Pippin will run July 5-13. Tuition is $275; the reduced tuition rate is attributed to several generous individual donations to the 2014 Teen Musical Theatre Camp. Additional scholarships and payment plans are not available for the Teen Summer Musical Theatre Camp.

education students enrolled in the Department of Education schools on Maui. As part of the project, Easter Seals Hawaii is partnering with Imua Family Services to offer services from a renovated 10,200 square foot, two-story building adjacent to the Easter Seals Hawaii Service Center. “This worthy project will provide a safe and secure environment for children and adults of all ages with an array of quality programs offered by Easter Seals Hawaii in partnership with Imua Family Services,” Abercrombie said. “The campus will also function as a resource for disability-related services and support groups throughout the Valley Isle.” Phase I of the Maui Campus development was completed in August 2012. Phase II will consolidate the nonprofit’s Medicaid Waiver Adult Day Health and Community Support Services programs with Imua children’s programs. ■ editor@mauitime.com + @apignataro For more news articles, visit our news blog at: mauifeed.com

MARCH 20, 2014

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News Of The Weird SAN FRAN’S NO.1 PROBLEM The ecology-conscious city (having recently encouraged routine composting of dinner leftovers) is now considering environmentfriendly public urinals such as the PPlanter created by engineer Brent Bucknum. Users urinate into a ceramic basin and flush the waste with run-off hand-washing water into a bed of bamboo plants. Bucknum claims minimal maintenance and an odor-free experience, but on the other hand, only a user’s midsection area is blocked from public view– a concession necessitated by San Francisco’s sour experience with lockable public toilets, which shielded sex acts and crime. (A lesselaborate structure–the open-air, similarly privacy-challenging “pPod”–is currently being readied for deployment in the city’s Dolores Park.)

THE ENTREPRENEURIAL SPIRIT Branko Bogdanov, 58, his wife, Lela, 52, and daughter Julia, 34, were arrested in March and charged in a 10-year shoplifting enterprise run out of their upscale Northbrook, Ill., home, which they allegedly used as a base while prowling stores in states as far away as Florida, stealing high-end toys and jewelry, which they resold on eBay and to their fences. Police estimate the Bogdanovs swiped as much as $7 million worth on their forays–many items being stashed in Lela’s customized flowing skirts with hidden pockets.

LATEST FEMALE BEAUTY PRODUCTS Cosmetic surgery is expensive, but beautyconscious Japanese girls and women (especially those obsessed with a more “Western” look) have low-priced workarounds to choose from–as uncovered in January by the fashion blogger Liz Katz: (1) the $63 Face-Slimmer Exercise Mouthpiece (insert it for three minutes a day, make vowel sounds and watch a “saggy” mouth turn taut); (2) the Beauty Lift High Nose nostril clip, which emits electronic vibrations to raise the proboscis’s profile; (3) an altogether different but similarly painfulappearing Nose Straightener (insert for 20 minutes a day for added “perkiness”).

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Pornography fans are split (according to a January report on Salon.com) on whether they want male actors to use condoms, but California’s Falcon Studios has the technology to serve both audiences. Falcon’s actors wear them, but in some movies those condoms might be digitally “removed” during postproduction. The major downside, said one renowned director, is the prohibitive cost–about $100,000 to re-digitize the estimated 90,000 frames in a typical “low-budget” porno film. The Falcon president said he is trying an alternative–using clever lighting during filming to de-emphasize the condom’s presence.

EARWAX CAN SOLVE CRIMES? Security and law enforcement agencies are looking beyond traditional biometric identification techniques (such as the accurate but obtrusive fingerprint and iris scans and unobtrusive yet questionably accurate facialrecognition) and, based on recent laboratory research, are now considering earwax and underarm odors. Work by Philadelphia’s Monell Chemical Senses Center shows that ear secretions may reveal personal identity, ethnicity, health status and sexual orientation, among other information, and researchers at the Polytechnic University of Madrid (Spain) said their work demonstrates that recognizable patterns in body odor remain stable even through disease and diet change.

LEADING ECONOMIC INDICATORS Farming continues to be a noble but grueling existence for rural residents of China, who work for the equivalent of only about $1,300 a year, but in one village (Jianshe, in southwest Sichuan province), farmers have established a co-operative capitalist model, and in January officials delivered residents their annual dividend in cold cash–the equivalent of about $2.1 million to split among 438 households. Authorities unloaded banknotes in stacks that constituted a seven-foot-high wall of money, requiring villagers to pull 24-hour shifts to guard it.

COSTS OF SPAIN’S ECONOMIC COLLAPSE London’s Daily Mail reported in March that Spain might have as many as 2,900 recently abandoned “villages” (swaths of land with clusters of houses) deserted by owners forced into cities to find work during the current recession–and that speculators were buying entire villages at single-house prices and turning them into vacation retreats. And a formal association of sex workers in Barcelona has introduced a four-hour “introduction to prostitution” class for women transitioning from other occupations due to layoffs. Course topics include tax-return help (prostitution is not illegal in Spain) and marketing, as well as sex tricks.

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS Christopher Fulton turned himself in in Midwest City, Okla., in March after seeing a surveillance photo of the robbery of an IBC Bank. He told police he indeed must be the robber, that he saw his body in the bank photo–although he insisted that his mind had no recollection of it. Police were about to arrest Fulton, anyway, because the robber’s holdup note was written on a blank check with the account holder’s name and address (Fulton’s mom’s) scratched out, except that police-lab technology easily read through the scratch-outs.■


Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

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eally? A math teacher? I hope your berating the cashier at the supermarket over your stupid soda discounts was worth it, because you pretty much made math teachers look like lunatics. Perhaps you should lay off the soda, considering your impatience and unwillingness to allow the cashier to rectify the situation. If you can get that mad over a discount, I’ve got to wonder how you deal with your students. Do you employ corporal punishment if they say 1+1=3? If you can’t bring yourself to apologize to the cashier and store manager for your petty, ridiculous outburst, then you resign from your teaching position immediately. You have no business teaching kids anything, except how not to behave in public. ■

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g n i d d e h S E H T N O T LIGH ttle against the a b ss e l d n e s ' l i c n Maui County Cou

W A L E N I H S N U S I I A HAW y Anthony Pignataro B

10 MARCH 20, 2014


This is a story about power.

S

ince 1975, the State of Hawaii has lived under something called Chapter 92 of the Hawaii Revised Statutes. Sometimes called the state’s “Open Meetings Law” or more colloquially the “Sunshine Law,” the first sentences of that legal framework that govern those who govern us is surprisingly clear about who (ideally) runs the show. “In a democracy, the people are vested with the ultimate decision-making power,” states the law. “Governmental agencies exist to aid the people in the formation and conduct of public policy.” As such, the law sets out a series of constraints on public officials to make sure that the people remain in charge. “Opening up the governmental processes to public scrutiny and participation is the only viable and reasonable method of protecting the public’s interest,” states the Sunshine Law. “Therefore, the legislature declares that it is the policy of this State that the formation and conduct of public policy–the discussions, deliberations, decisions, and action of governmental agencies–shall be conducted as openly as possible.” As I’ve detailed on a few previous occasions, numerous current and former Maui County Council members views the Sunshine Law with feelings ranging from muttered disagreement to contemptuous disdain. And why not? The law restricts them from getting together in groups comprising a quorum without officially sending out notices to the public, posting an agenda, keeping minutes, etc. In other words, it prevents them from meeting and deciding the public’s business in secret. For the last decade, assorted Maui County Council members have badmouthed the Sunshine Law, skirted it and openly lobbied for legislation that would emasculate or kill it. In 2005, Riki Hokama said the law “detracts from the effectiveness of county councils in carrying out their legislative responsibilities.” In early 2012, Council members Danny Mateo, Joseph Pontanilla, Bob Carroll and Mike White all wrote letters of support for a bill that would have exempted county councils from the Sunshine Law, stating that the law “unjustifiably interfere with the important legislative work of the County Council.” In the summer of 2013, the Hawaii Supreme Court even smacked down the Maui County Council (and the council’s Land Use Committee) for violating the Sunshine Law in 2007 and 2008 in its deliberations over the proposed Honua‘ula (Wailea 670) project. To no one’s surprise, they’re at it again. Thanks to Maui’s own Kyle Yamashita, D–Upcountry, we have HB 2139 HD1, a new bill that takes a new approach by just chipping away at the Sunshine Law. The bill would alter the Open Meetings act to allow an “unlimited number” of

city or county council members to attend various meetings and/or presentations, without the need for pesky things like meeting notices or agendas. The bill text states that “members of a county council” should be able to “attend an informational meeting or presentation on matters relating to official board business, including a meeting of another entity, legislative hearing, convention, seminar, or community meeting,” as long as said meeting is held in Hawaii, free and open to the public and not organized specifically for the county council members. To be fair, this seems entirely reasonable. In fact, in her two letters of support for the bill (to the House Judiciary Committee on Feb. 13 and the Senate Committee on Public Safety, Intergovernmental and Military Affairs on Mar. 10), Maui County Council chairwoman Gladys Baisa–who said that Yamashita introduced the bill at her request–made the case that the bill would actually make council members more responsive to the community. “Open participation in informational meetings or presentations by elected officials will increase transparency and help to ensure responsiveness of council members to the public they serve,” Baisa

Victorino also submitted brief statements saying they supported the bill, as did Maui County Mayor Alan Arakawa. “Elected officials are responsible for finding out how people in their communities feel about policy issues, to gather facts, and to educate themselves on the many issues that impact their communities,” Arakawa wrote in a Feb. 13 letter of support to the House Judiciary Committee. “Allowing county councilmembers to attend informational meetings or presentations can help them gather facts and educate themselves while ensuring their responsiveness to the public they serve.” Isn’t this what we want? County Council members going to all sorts of free and open public meetings and forums, joining discussions and raising issues? Actually, no. Even with the stipulations that council members can only attend “free” meetings that are “open to the public” in the state, the bill still does serious damage to the state’s current Open Meetings Law. Remember, the Sunshine Law really serves two purposes–it gives power to the public, but it also restricts the actions of public officials. For the law to work, both purposes must remain intact. The Sunshine Law works because it

many public forums and meetings as possible–and there’s no evidence that they’re not–there’s still a case to be made that the Sunshine Law’s restrictions as currently written are for the best. Carmille Lim, the executive director of the good government group Common Cause Hawaii, made exactly that case in her Feb. 13 testimony before the Senate Public Safety Committee. “This safeguard is in place to prevent discussion and decisions made on issues without public input and public notice,” Lim noted. “HB 2139 HD1 would allow all members to attend these meetings, listen to a biased presentation in support of a project, and would allow a quorum or all members to discuss the project or issue at hand.” The League of Women Voters takes a similarly dim view of the bill, noting that terms like “free” and “public” can often describe meetings that aren’t in the public interest. “If HB 2139 HD1 becomes law, all county council members could be invited to attend an ‘informational meeting or presentation’ organized by proponents of a special interest project,” stated a Mar. 12 press release on the bill. “Prior public notice would not be required. Only

“If HB 2139 HD1 becomes law, all county council members could be invited to attend an ‘informational meeting or presentation’ organized by proponents of a special interest project”” wrote in her Feb. 13 written testimony. A month later, she offered even more support for the bill. “The purpose of this measure was originally to increase interaction between elected officials and the public and to broaden access to educational opportunities as they arise,” she wrote in her Mar. 10 letter. “Open participation in informational meetings or presentations by elected officials will increase transparency and help to ensure responsiveness of council members to the public they serve.” Still, Baisa did have some concerns with the bill, which had been amended since her previous letter. “[T]he measure is counterproductive in limiting attendance opportunities to meetings or presentations that are held in Hawaii and free to the public,” she wrote. “These aspects of the measure reduce, rather than enhance, a council member’s responsiveness to constituents and opportunities for education and outreach.” Maui County Councilmembers Robert Carroll, Stacy Helm Crivello and Mike

restricts the conditions under which public officials can meet to make decisions. The public must get adequate notice of the meeting ahead of time. The meeting’s agenda must be made public and available to anyone who wants it. And most importantly, minutes of the meeting must be recorded and also made public. On a small island like Maui, these restrictions often make seemingly easy decisions like where to get a lunch rather difficult. According to one county council member who asked not to be named, council members have to avoid accidentally forming quorums at restaurants “all the time.” “They don’t even want us to be friends with each other on Facebook,” the council member told me on Mar. 12, after I posted a Mauifeed.com blog post on HB 2139 HD1. “But we’re elected by the whole county, and we should be able to go to hot potato community hearings, and we can’t. If we had district-wide elections only, that would be different.” Even if the county council members are sincere in their desire to attend as

invitees might know about the ‘meeting or presentation’ even if the event were open and ‘free’ to the public… It would be possible for the host to structure the ‘meeting or presentation’ to prevent the public from asking questions or participating in discussions. Regardless of how many council members participate, minutes would not be required.” Echoing those sentiments, the state Office of Information Practices, Common Cause Hawaii, Media Council Hawaii, the Society of Professional Journalists’ Hawaii chapter, Big Island Press Club and attorney Lance Collins–who won the Hawaii Supreme Court case against the county over the Sunshine Law–have all submitted testimony opposing HB 2139 HD1. But so far, bill supporters seem to be winning. As of Mar. 11, the Senate Public Safety, Intergovernmental and Military Affairs Committee passed the bill unanimously. ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro For more news articles, visit our news blog at: mauifeed.com

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Food & Drink

by Jen Russo

Drinking At The ‘House Of Friends’

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Makena Resort’s Liquid Chef series flirts with Casamigo tequila uila

Liquid Chef Chandra Lam Lucariello

T

equila is an uplifting spirit. Just a few sips will give rise to a high energy buzz. If it weren’t for all those bad happy hour margaritas out there, it would be perfect. A few decades ago, the tequila shelves on most bars just held Cuervo. Since then, Patron and Cabo Wabo branded the premium shot and the industry has never looked back. Celeb spirits are quite the trend, but really, who wouldn’t want their name on a bottle? This is pushing premiums to hyper levels, and distinguishing the detailed and eccentric processes that go into upscale bottled booze. The new kid on the block in celeb-quila is Casamigo, an ultra-premium brand developed by friends George Gerber and George Clooney. The name loosely translates as “house of friends,” and their love for tequila drinking has fueled their need to create a 100 percent agave blanco and reposado that has both followed old tradition and shows off a slick, modern look. “There are actually a couple of points that differentiate Casamigos,” says Chandra Lam Lucariello, the director of Mixology and Spirits Education for Southern Wine and Spirits, which distributes the brand in Hawaii. “When George and Randy wanted

to develop a tequila, they wanted one that stayed true to traditional tequila making culture, so they did it old-school and employed methods that aren’t typically done by other distilleries. They use the old, traditional brick ovens to cook their pinas and do it low and slow, for 72 hours, versus other distilleries that will speed up the cooking method, using autoclaves or steamers in order to make more product at a faster return. Another point of difference is that they actually age their blanco, which isn’t a requirement for the category. They like how the two months spent in barrel helps to smooth it out and give it a hint of creaminess and black pepper. Lastly, they utilize an extra slow, 80-hour fermentation process. What this does is pull more flavors out of the agave instead of cutting it short with a 48-hour fermentation.” Think of the agave pinas as oversized artichoke hearts. The agave tequilana, also called blue agave or agave azul, is related to asparagus. It will flower once in a decade, and in its 12th year its heart is cut out, roasted and made into tequila. Pinas can weigh between 80 and 200 pounds. For blancos, aging is not required, and aging an anejo only takes a year as the warm climate in Mexico speeds up the process.

“Blanco is typically unaged, but can be aged up to two months in oak or stainless steel and is the most pure and simple expression of the agave,” says Lucariello. “You can sometimes pick up vegetal, earthy flavors, as well as perhaps some tropical fruit and white pepper. Reposado means ‘rested’ and has to be aged a minimum of two months, but can be aged up to a year. This aging process will give the finished product some notes of light toast, sometimes a little cinnamon and a hint of vanilla. Anejo means ‘aged’ and must be aged for at least 12 months, but can be aged up to three years. Because this sees the most oak influence, you will typically taste caramel, vanilla, baking spices and perhaps even hints of brûlée. You can absolutely use all of them in cocktails, but in different applications. You want the complexity of the flavors that the tequila gives to have synergy with the ingredients you are using in your cocktail.” You should know all this because the Makena Beach and Golf Resort will host their March installment of the Liquid Chef series completely immersed in Casamigo tequila. They will be taking the event outdoors in a celebration to spring. At 6:30pm on Thursday, Mar. 27, on their oceanfront Maluaka Lawn, they’ll pair five cocktails with five Latin-inspired dishes. For $60, Chef Mark McDowell will ply your palate with tiger tequila shrimp, chipotle baby back ribs and jicama slaw, lobster and corn fritters with an amazing cilantro aioli, Kurobuta pork cemita sliders and a Hawaiian lime and cilantro ceviche. “The spirit of Casamigos stems from friendship,” says Leo Mallari, the director of Food and Beverage at the Makena Beach and Golf Resort. “It was created by longtime friends and was meant to be shared among friends. We wanted to have an event that subscribes to this ethos.” Lucariello designed the five cocktails that will be served. They include a customary shot done Mexican style with a sangrita back, a Vietnamese influenced cocktail and a guava rita. She says that Tequila is one of her favorite spirits to work with, and is a bit of a wiz when it comes to creating out-the-box drinks.

“Tequila, more than anything, is just fun,” says Lucariello. “So when I was experimenting with the recipes for this, I wanted to create some easy-going, playful cocktails and also some that were just a little wacky. You can go anywhere and have a margarita, but I wanted this event to be something that you leave with an experience that you’ve never had before with tequila. Because I’m such a huge fan of tequila, I’m hard-pressed to find flavors that don’t work well with it. I particularly like to play with savory flavors when mixing tequila. I find that I can be more experimental with it and broaden consumers views by giving them an experience with tequila that they haven’t had before.” On Thursday, Mar. 20, the resort will also give a sneak preview of a few of the cocktails featured at Liquid Chef at their Molokini Lounge from 6:30 to 8:30pm when you order pupus. For more information or Liquid Chef reservations, call 808-875-5888 or visit makenaresortmaui.com. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com

How To Make A Paloma With Chandra One foolproof tequila cocktail would definitely be the Paloma. It’s a famous cocktail in Mexico that’s simple and delicious. It’s a perfect balance of sweet, salty, sour and refreshing. In fact, I haven’t met a person yet who doesn’t enjoy a well-made Paloma. The recipe is simple: Start with the tequila of your choice, add about a half ounce of lime juice, a pinch of sea salt and Jarritos Toronja, which is a Mexican grapefruit soda. If you can’t find Jarritos, Squirt or Fresca will do as well. Up for a challenge? Liquid Chef’s riff on the Paloma will be the “Cinco De Migos.” Make one by combining one and a half ounces of Casamigos Silver Tequila, three-quarters of an ounce of Aperol Liqueur, three quarters of an ounce of lemon juice, half an ounce of Housemade Vanilla Syrup and Jarritos Mandarin Soda in a highball glass and then give it a stir. Garnish with an orange slice and umbrella.

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A&E

by Jen Russo & Marina Satoafaiga

‘Punk Rockers Trying To Play Reggae And Ska’ Talking story with Black Square’s Josh 86 about the band’s return to Maui

PHOTO COURTESY BLACK SQUARE

prefer to write music with no content whatsoever. Listen to any pop Reggae song on the radio in Hawaii and you hear no reflection on meaningful happenings in our state, yet the songs they sing receive massive airplay. This solidifies the acceptable disconnect between the role of musicians/artists in Hawaii and the culture and society they represent. Art should be a reaction and reflection of culture, and not turn a blind eye to it and sing about “honey girl.”

Q: A:

Well, there’s definitely a market for your music because you’ve completed more than 10 American tours. Can you give us a crazy fan story?

Josh 86 is fourth from the left

H

awaii has had a great thirst for ska music, churning out several local ska-inspired bands in the last few decades like Mr. Simon, Tantra Monsters, Red Session, Go Jimmy Go, Pimpbot, Warsaw All Stars and, most recently, Black Square. They’re dead set on continuing the tradition of punk infused ska sounds into 2014 and beyond. They did a show with national ska act Mephiskapheles at Hawaiian Brian’s last month and will host a few Maui appearances at the end of March. At MauiTime headquarters, we found their 2011 self-titled album in Spotify and got amped for their upcoming shows at Stella Blues and Three’s Bar and Grill. Then we caught up with lead singer and guitar player Josh 86 for the real scoop on Black Square:

Q: A:

You’ve pretty much made it when you have your own Wikipedia page. Did you know you had one?

Yes, I think it’s been up for a while, but I have no idea where the info came from or who created it. If it means we made it because we have a Wikipedia page, then I need to let my band mates know that we finally made it! They will also be stoked.

Q: A: Q: A:

So welcome back to Maui!

Thanks! We love Maui. Maui is better than Oahu. Please don’t tell Oahu. So what inspired the name Black Square?

The name was inspired by the art of Kazimir Malevich, who was a strange artist from Russia who painted a black square on canvas in 1915.

It was controversial because it was simply a black square, and non-objectional art was not very well received in Russia at the time. Other artists were pissed. He developed an art movement called Suprematism which stated that the importance of the artwork was based on the feeling behind the art work or what it invoked rather than the content it displayed. This concept was inspirational to me and we named the band Black Square, as we saw our music in a similar light.

Q: A:

Really? How does that translate into ska?

We’re definitely not traditional in any of the genres we play. If you heard us, you wouldn’t say we are a Reggae band, or a ska band or a punk band. Yet those are the genres associated with us. Black Square is its own sound. It’s a result of punk rockers trying to play Reggae and ska. The drummer, Brian Kim, was only in hardcore punk bands prior to Black Square. I was in a Reggae band and a punk band, but had never played ska. Our horn players had mainly been in only ska bands. You blend us all together and you get a unique sound that’s completely our own. Social issues appear in Black Square’s tracks as well. Why do you think that’s important to communities like Hawaii?

Q: A:

Hawaii has been the site of major injustices. From the Hawaiian kingdom being illegally overthrown by the US, to the bombing of sacred Hawaiian sites by the US military, to the occupation of native lands. We live in a state that’s ripe with historical travesties. Currently, we have employed sketchy, unproductive politicians to run our state and have an ineffective corrupt police force. Many bands in Hawaii

How about a crazy VAN story? A few years ago, we were on tour heading east on the I-80 coming from Boise passing through Wyoming. We were driving at night in a 16-passenger van with our trailer in tow. We were all asleep, when the driver hit a patch of ice on the road and the van went into a fish tail. The driver was unable to get control of the van and we went into a spin and then spun out off the road, down a ravine, flipping the van and rolling down a hill. One of our members was ejected from the van through a side window.

Q: A:

Oh my God.

We all survived with modest injuries. We had the van pulled out of the ravine the next morning with a tow truck and inspected it. We were told the van was totaled. We decided to try to start it up, and it started. We did a test drive in the parking lot and it seemed okay. We put duct tape and trash bags over the side windows that had been smashed out. We put clear tape over the tail lights and blinkers that had been shattered. The van was covered in mud with huge scrapes all along the sides of it. We had no side mirrors, as they were torn off. Our windshield had a spiderweb cracks all across it. We drove the van 300 miles that same day and made it to the show in Denver on time and played the show to a packed house.

Q:

Too bad you didn’t YouTube that! Speaking of which, Black Square’s music has been featured on many films like Board Stories, One Kine Day and Noho Hewa. Can you recall a time you heard your music play and couldn’t believe it?

A:

I’ve actually never seen those films, but we were featured on a fresh water kayaking DVD that I saw. I was super stoked and proud of that. We are huge in the kayak scene now. Our music is perfect to kayak to.

Q:

In a time of auto-tune and sophisticated sound technology, a live performance can take many forms. How has that affected Black Square shows?

We keep things pretty simple. I don’t use any effects on my voice and I don’t use many pedals with my guitar. Our live sound is usually better than our recordings and I think that’s how it should be. You can use effects in the studio and kind of cheat, but I’m not a fan of any of that. Keep it raw and real.

A:

Q: A:

Can we expect to hear any new music at your show?

We have a few new songs right now that aren’t on any of our records. We will be performing them all at our Maui shows. There is one new track on our Facebook band page that you can download now for free–it’s called “Discord.”

Q: A:

Where can fans keep up-to-date with Black Square?

On our Facebook page: Facebook. com/blacksquareband. We also have an Instagram [account] you can follow @blacksquareband. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com

BLACK SQUARE Josh86: Guitar and Vocals LBK: Drums Taylor: Bass TR: Alto Sax Evan “Babyface” Lewis: Tenor Sax Jahred: Trombone

SCHEDULE (Both shows $10 and include appearances by Order of the White Rose and The Minorities) • Friday, Mar. 28, 9:30pm: Three’s Bar & Grill, 1945 S. Kihei Rd.; 808-879-3133 • Saturday, Mar. 29, 10pm: Stella Blues, 1279 S. Kihei Rd.; 808-874-3779

MARCH 20, 2014 15


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Picks

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This Weeks Picks THURSDAY, MAR. 20 PICNIC FOR POKI – Take a break from work and enjoy your lunch under the shade this Thursday. Picnic for Poki will feature live music from Punana Leo O Maui, the Hawaiian Language Immersion preschool. The keiki will be joined by a few parents who double as local musicians–Kamakoa Lindsey-Asing, Marvin Tevaga, Ka’ena Elaban and Dallas Domingo. Freshly baked cookies will sweeten the afternoon deal! Free. 11am. Historic Ka’ahumanu Church (103 S. High St., Wailuku). Photo courtesy ahapunanaleo.org

DANU – St. Patrick’s Day is over, but the Irish musical group Danu hits the MACC stage this Thursday. Named for an Irish goddess, the four-member band formed in the early 1990s. The only band to have been voted Best Traditional Group twice in the BBC Radio 2 Folk Awards, Danu continues to gain recognition as a leader in Irish music. $12-$38. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Castle Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului), mauiarts.org. Photo: Colm Henry

FRIDAY, MAR. 21 SOCIAL MEDIA WORKSHOP – Learn how to optimize social media with the Maui County Business Center’s social media plan workshop. Social media marketing specialist Nico Fisher will help guide you through consistency and collaboration, so you’ll be Tweeting in no time. Free. 12pm-1:15pm. Mauii County Business Resource Center (70 E. Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului). Photo: Harland Quarrington/Wikimedia Commons

LAUGH FOR RELIEF – Laugh your way to relief this Friday with comedians Augie T and Rex Navarrete. It’s a benefit for those affected by put on by the Hawaii Construction Alliance. One of the only acts to sell out Blaisdell Arena, Augie T is a household name across the state who was voted Comedian of the Year and funniest comic in Hawaii. Joining him is Rex Navarrete, who got his start in the Bay Area. Navarrete has toured extensively and is currently working on a series “Rex and the City.” $20-$35. 7pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, McCoy Studio Theater (One Cameron Center, Kahului); 808242-7469, mauiarts.org. Photo: Wikimedia Commons

FRIDAY, FRIDAY Y, MA MAR. M R. 21 DEBASH DEBASHISH BHATTACHARYA – There aren’t many people who master the Hawaiian steel guitar aat the age of three, but greatness definitely seems to have been in Debashish Bhattach tacharya’s future. Today he’s recognized as a musical icon in his home country of India and arou around the world. Now Bhattacharya is bringing his Hindustani slide guitar talent to Maui this Friday. Cultures will collide when Maui native and slack key musician Jeff Peterson jo joins Bhattacharya on the MACC stage. Brace yourself for a night of great musical techa Ce te , Morgado o gado Hall a (O e nique and skill. $30. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (One ourtesy the MACC Cameron Center, Kahului), mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy

BAZ – This Friday, Maui Hands Gallery Lahaina is presenting the mixed media artist Baz. Travels and his windsurfing career have taken him around the world, and he has more than two decades of artistic experience. His recent work is inspired by the natural material from local Hawaiian plants. Free. 4:30pm-7:30pm. Maui Hands Lahaina (612 Front St., Lahaina), lahaina@mauihands.com. Photo courtesy Maui Hands haina

FRIDAY, FRIDAY Y, M MAR. MA AR. 21 M MAKAWAO TH I R D FR I DAY – The third Friday of the month ha has arrived and that means one thing, Makawao is throwing a pa’ina. Makawao is known for its paniolo charm, and locals an and tourist alike are welcome to enjoy its live entertainment, m merchants and unique flavors. Slow down and take a moment to smell the great Upcountry outdoors. Parking can be found at Makawao Base Yard, Makawao Hongwanji, Brewer Road, M Makawao Municipal Parking Lot and Makawao Ave. near the lib library. There’s also street parking on Baldwin Avenue. Free. 6p 6pm-9pm. Makawao Town, mauifridays.com/makawao.

JOHN SEBASTIAN – Synonymous with The Lovin’ Spoonful is singer songwriter John Sebastian. Catch the “Do You Believe In Magic” singer this Friday on MACC’s Castle Theater stage. An avid festival performer, Sebastian has seen the stage lights of Woodstock. Standing the test of time, his music is recognized around the world and has been covered by a range of artists from Mase to Johnny Cash to Dolly Parton. $40-$55. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Castle Theater (One Cameron Center, Kahului); 808-242-7469, mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy MACC

SATURDAY, S ATURDAY, MAR MAR. 22 BASS NYMPH NYM AND GDUB – Maui DJs rule! Bass Nymph and GDub will po power up your blast-off into dance ecstasy. Maui born BNymph's flavo flavor of wonky dubstep will favor your bass fairies with tasty track samp samples of Requake, Muk, GANZ, Billa Quase, Cut La Vis, Abjo, esta., Nuja Nujabes and Druid Cloak. The General Dub serves up a fresh spinning p plate of trap bass with Badklaat, Bleep Bloop, TRUTH, Algorythm Algorythm, N-Type, Noah D, Organikismness and Ollie Basswieght. S Slip into your groovy shoes and step out to Casanova, for th the show that starts at 10pm. $10 before show, $15 at th the door. Casanova Maui 1188 Makawao Ave., 808572-0220. Photo courtesy Bass Nymph 57

SATU UR RD DAY AY, M AR 22 SATURDAY, MAR.

MENEHUNE MAYHEM – Ian Walsh’s Menehune Mayhem returns for another shred sesh this Saturday. Here, Maui’s top junior surfers will compete during a day-long bout. Awards will be given for out of water achievements including highest GPA for boys and girls as well as memorial awards honoring surfing legends like Andy Irons, Steve Cooney and others. Onlookers can enjoy, arts and crafts, dunk tank, food and a pro-surfer autograph session. The event is first-come, first-served so be sure to reserve your spot. 7am. Ho’okipa Beach Park (Paia), MenehuneMayhem.com. Photo courtesy of menehunemayhem.com

SUNDAY, SU S U ND UND N DA AY Y, MA M MAR. R 23 ANDROID GETTING STARTED – It’s time to face the smartphone movement and Verizon Wireless wants to help you this Sunday. Android users can enroll in a workshop that will provide a smartphone refresher, tips and tricks to navigating your android smartphone. Learn to get the most out of your device with email, social network accounts, customization and more. Free. 8:30am9:15am. Verizon, Maui Marketplace (270 Dairy Rd., Kahului), megan@bennetgroup.com. Photo: Wikimedia Commons

KUINI – Kuini is comprised of Iwalani Hoomanawanuiikanaauao Apo (‘ukulele), Kapulanakehau Tamure (guitar) and Keli Mehealani Viernes (acoustic bass). Their harmony peaks in falsetto and settles in bass, making their talent hard to miss. The triple threat take to MACC stage this Saturday. 7:30pm. $30-$40. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Yokouchi Pavilion (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy the MACC

SUNDAY, MAR. 23

TUESDAY, MAR. 25 MARCH MOVIE MADNESS – This Sunday, the Maui Pops Orchestra presents “March Movie Madness.” Enjoy a compilation of famous film scores from a range of composers including Paul McCartney, John Lennon and John Williams. You are bound to recognize a favorite tune, so bring your ohana for a great time. $15$50. 3pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Castle Theater (One Cameron Center, Kahului); 808-2427469, mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy the MACC

BEYOND SIGHT – Inspired by Derek Rabelo’s story of determination and triumph, Beyond Sight follows his journey to surf Pipeline. The film features surf greats like Kelly Slater, Damien Hobgood and Laird Hamilton as it chronicles the blind surfer’s triumphs and tragedies along the way. Will he be able to do the unthinkable? 4:30pm & 6:45pm. Ka’ahumanu 6 Theatre (275 W. Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului), beyondsightmovie.com

MARCH 20, 2014 17


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Film

by Barry Wurst II

‘Muppets Most Wanted’ Statler and Waldorf are right to heckle this movie

Muppets Most Wanted ★★★★★ Rated PG / 112 Min.

W

aldorf and Statler are my favorite Muppets. Given that they act like cheerfully cruel movie critics, I suppose it’s only natural I’m so fond of them. They’re a couple of crusty, well-attired but cynical old coots. During the televised The Muppet Show and in the movies, we see them sitting in balcony seats, viciously mocking the show unfolding before them. I still laugh when I recall one of them saying to the other, “There’s something wrong with these seats.” The other replies, “Of course there is: they’re facing the stage!” They then let out a laugh that sounds kind of like an owl letting out a long, hiccup of a yawn: “Oh-ho-hoho-ho!” I love those guys. In the new Muppet movie, their barbed humor is, as always, pointed at the efforts of Kermit the Frog to stage a great show. The problem is that this time out, their heckling kind of stings. The sad truth is that Waldorf and Statler are right about

this movie: it isn’t very good. The opening scenes give a clear sign that something is off. We open immediately after the closing song of the previous entry, the hit and miss but occasionally great The Muppets. We see two actors whose backs are facing us; they’re supposed to be Jason Segal and Amy Adams, the stars of the prior movie. The camera pans away and we never see Segal, Adams (or, more likely, their stand-ins) again. It feels like a stingy way of acknowledging, then dropping, the delightful stars of the 2011 movie. We then move into a song and dance number in which Kermit and the gang sing about sequels typically being inferior and not as good as the original. This should come across like a cocky wink to the audience but turns into a sadly prophetic, unintentional acknowledgment of the subpar movie that follows. The over-plotted narrative concerns the Muppets being swindled into embarking on an international tour, where they do their stage show in exotic locations. Their manager is played by Ricky Gervais, who is surprisingly good. I’m not a fan of Gervais, whose jovial nastiness in other works feels one-note. But here, he gives a full-blown performance,

We Like You Too!

They were better when they were just a TV show

seemingly surrendering himself to acting against fuzzy, googly-eyed puppets. The other big character is Constantine, a Russian super agent who’s a frog and a dead-ringer for Kermit. There’s a jailbreak, with Constantine bouncing off the walls like a CGI Yoda. There’s also a Clouseau-like French cop (Ty Burrell), teamed with Sam the Eagle, on the hunt for Constantine and a criminal identified as The Lemur. We also have scenes of Tina Fey, in a cringe-inducing performance, playing a Russian prison guard. Oh, and the Muppets put on a show. It’s over-plotted, though the jokes that work almost compensate for a too-busy narrative. In comparison to the previous movie, only the celebrity appearances are a step up. I loved the cameos from Usher and Christophe Waltz, both cast because of their

pun-worthy names. Josh Groban has a hilariously degrading cameo and Celine Dion has the best musical number, where she belts out a power ballad with Miss Piggy. This is better than Muppets From Space and there are funny moments, but this is closer to the so-so The Great Muppet Caper than one of their stronger vehicles. The fast pace and joke ratio, matched with the emphasis on Russian super spies, makes it appear the inspiration wasn’t Jim Henson but Despicable Me. I don’t mean that as a compliment. A reprise of the great “Together Again,” from The Muppets Take Manhattan, is a nice touch. So are the end credits. A few of the movie’s songs are fun but this only works in spurts. I’ll be nice and say it’s funny but forced. Waldorf and Statler wouldn’t be so kind. ■

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Film

by Alex Mitchell

Showtimes KA‘AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka‘ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului. 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) Son Of God-PG13- THU 12:30 2:45 5:00 7:15 10:05, FRI-WED 10:30 1:30 4:30 7:15 10:00 The Wind Rises-PG13- THU 10:55 1:40 Robocop-PG13- THU 11:00 2:00 4:30 7:30 10:00 Pompeii-PG13- THU 4:35 7:00 9:25 300: Rise of an Empire-R- THU 10:50 11:20 11:50 1:00 1:30 2:00 3:10 3:40 4:10 5:20 5:50 6:20 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:40 10:10, FRI-TUE 10:45 1:25 3:45 6:30 7:30 9:10 10:30, WED 10:45 1:25 7:30 9:10 10:30 Divergent-PG13- FRI-WED 10:30 11:30 1:25 2:25 4:20 5:20 7:15 8:15 10:10 Muppets: Most Wanted-PG- FRI-WED 10:40 11:40 1:10 2:10 3:50 4:50 7:00 9:25

Lone Survivor-R- THU (1:20) 6:30, FRI-WED (1:20) 6:30 American Hustle-R- THU (12:30 3:30) 6:30 9:30, FRI (12:30 3:30) 6:30 9:30, SAT-SUN (12:30) 3:30 6:30 9:30, MON-WED (12:30 3:30) 6:30 9:30 Frozen-PG- THU (1:10 4:00) 6:50 9:40, FRI (1:10 4:00) 6:50 9:40, SAT-SUN (1:10) 4:00 6:50 9:40 MON-WED (1:10 4:00) 6:50 9:40 Philomena-PG13- THU (11:00 4:10) 9:20, FRI (11:00 4:10) 9:20, SAT-SUN (11:00) 4:10 9:20, MON-WED (11:00 4:10) 9:20 Mr. Peabody and Sherman-PG- 2D THU (11:40 2:10 4:40) 7:10 9:50, 3D (11:10 1:40 4:10) 6:40 9:20, FRI (11:40 2:10 4:40) 7:10 9:50, SAT-SUN (11:40 2:10) 4:40 7:10 9:50, MON-WED (11:40 2:10 4:40) 7:10 9:50, 3D FRI (11:10 1:40 4:10) 6:40 9:20, SAT-SUN (11:10 1:40) 4:10 6:40 9:20,

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, Kahului, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm) Noah-PG13- WED 7:00 10:00 Need For Speed-PG13- 2D THU (12:20 3:20) 7:00 9:50, FRI (12:50 3:50) 7:30 10:00, SAT-SUN (12:50) 3:50 7:30 10:00, MON-WED (12:50 3:50) 7:30 10:00, 3D FRI-WED (12:20 3:20) 7:00 9:30 Tyler Perry’s The Single Moms Club-PG13- THU (11:10 1:50 4:30) 7:20 10:10, FRI (11:10 1:50 4:30) 7:20 10:10, SAT-SUN (11:10 1:50) 4:30 7:20 10:10, MON-WED (11:10 1:50 4:30) 7:20 10:10 Non-Stop-PG13- THU (11:20 2:00 4:40) 7:20 10:30, FRI (11:20 2:00 4:40) 7:20 10:30, SAT-SUN (11:20 2:00) 4:40 7:20 10:30, MON-WED (11:20 2:00 4:40) 7:20 10:30 3 Days To Kill-PG13- THU (1:00), FRI (1:00 4:00) 6:50 9:50, SAT-SUN (1:00) 4:00 6:50 9:50, MONWED (1:00 4:00) 6:50 9:50 The LEGO Movie-PG- THU (11:30 2:00 4:30) 7:00 10:00, FRI (11:30 2:00 4:30) 7:00 10:00, SAT-SUN (11:30 2:00) 4:30 7:00 10:00, MON-WED (11:30 2:00 4:30) 7:00 10:00 The Monuments Men- PG13- THU (12:40 3:50) 6:40 9:40, FRI (12:40 3:50) 6:40 9:40, SAT-SUN (12:40) 3:50 6:40 9:40, MON-WED (12:40 3:50) 6:40 9:40

NEW THIS WEEK DIVERGENT - PG13 - Action/Sci-Fi - In a time when virtue divides people into factions, someone named Tris finds out she’s “divergent,” which means she doesn’t fit in and thus joins other such misfits or something. This goes on for 139 min. MUPPETS: MOST WANTED - PG - Comedy/Adventure - The Muppets are back, this time as part of a world tour that somehow gets involved with a jewelry heist masterminded by a frog who looks just like Kermit. See this week’s film review. 112 min. NOAH - PG13 - Adventure/Bible - See Russell Crowe in a beard as the history’s most famous sailor saves a tiny sampling of life forms when God gets Biblical on the Earth. 138 min.

NOW PLAYING 3 DAYS TO KILL - PG 13 - Action/Drama - A dying Secret Service agent must do one last assignment so he can get some experimental drug that could save his life. Also, he wants to reconnect with his estranged daughter because, you know, Hollywood. 113 min. 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE - R - Action/War - Totally ripped Greeks and Persians battle it out again over land, some chick, whatever. 102 min.

MON-WED (11:10 1:40 4:10) 6:40 9:20 WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day) Divergent-PG13- FRI-SUN 12:30 3:45 7:00 10:10, MON 12:30 3:45 7:00, TUE 12:30 3:45 7:00 10:10, WED 12:30 3:45 7:00 Non-Stop-PG13- THU 1:30 4:15 7:15 10:00 300: Rise of an Empire- THU 2D 4:00 3D 1:00 7:10 9:50, FRI-SUN 2D 4:00 3D 1:00 7:10 9:50, MON 2D 4:00 3D 1:00 7:10, TUE 2D 4:00 3D 1:00 7:10 9:50, WED 2D 4:00 3D 1:00 7:10 Need For Speed-PG13- THU 2D 3:45 10:10 3D 12:30 7:00, FRI-SUN 2D 3:30 10:00 3D 12:00 6:45, MON 2D 3:30 3D 12:00 6:45, TUE 2D 3:30 10:00 3D 12:00 6:45, WED 2D 3:30 3D 12:00 6:45

Noah opens this week

THURSDAY THURSDAY NIGHT

3/20

AMERICAN HUSTLE - R - Drama - A con man (Christian Bale) and his pretty partner in crime (Amy Adams) end up working with a crazy FBI agent (Bradley Cooper). 138 min. FROZEN - PG - Animation - Kristen Bell plays some girl who makes her way through some icy kingdom to find her sister. Oh, and there’s a snowman in there somewhere. 108 min. LONE SURVIVOR - R - Action - Four Navy SEALs end up in a very bad situation in Afghanistan in 2005. Stars Mark Wahlberg. 121 min. MONUMENTS MEN - PG13 - Drama - George Clooney and Matt Damon star in this not particularly accurate look at American soldiers in World War II who rescued works of art from the Nazis. 118 min. MR. PEABODY AND SHERMAN - PG - Animation - As anyone who’s watched Bullwinkle knows, this is about genius dog Mr. Peabody and his boy Sherman traveling through time to meet important people and save history. 92 min.

PHILOMENA - PG13 - Drama - A political journalist investigates a woman who was forced into a convent after becoming pregnant and is now looking for her son. 98 min. SON OF GOD - PG13 - Drama - Another dramatic look at the life of Jesus, probably somewhere between King of Kings and The Passion of the Christ. 138 min. THE LEGO MOVIE - PG - Animation/Comedy - A LEGO minifigure battles a tyrant who wants to glue the universe together. 100 min. TYLER PERRY’S THE SINGLE MOMS CLUB PG13 - Comedy/Drama - A bunch of single mothers create a support group to get through life. 111 min.

LAST CHANCE POMPEII - PG13 - Action/Drama - A Roman gladiator tries to rescue his chick from a corrupt senator while Mount Vesuvius blows its top. 105 min.

NEED FOR SPEED - PG13 - Action/Crime - An ex-con joins a cross-country race to take revenge on the wealthy business associate who got him wrongly sent to prison in the first place. 130 min.

ROBOCOP - PG13 - Action/Sci-Fi - Not so great remake of the great 1987 sci-fi flick of the same name. Stars Joel Kinnaman and Gary Oldman. 102 min

NON-STOP - PG13 - Action/Thriller - An air marshal must do something a bunch of people on a trans-Atlantic flight after the airline is threatened. Stars Liam Neeson and Julianne Moore. 106 min.

THE WIND RISES - PG13 - Animation - Hayao Miyazaki is back with this colorful and fanciful adventure about a Japanese boy who dreams of aircraft and flying in the 1920s. 126 min.

BLUES U S WITH

MARK JOHNSTONE & JU JJUSTIN STIN FAVELL

6:30AM-8:30PM M 8 30PM • NO COVER

FRIDAY

3/21

90’S NIGHT WITH DJJ BLAST

10PM • $5 BEFORE 11PM-$10 AFTER 11PM

IAN WALSH’S 3/22 MENEHUNE MAYHEM AFTER PARTY & MFC MMA AFTER PARTY IIII II A FTER P ARTY SSATURDAY SA ATUURRDDAY AY

FEATURING DJ BIG MIKE AND DJ WIZZARD

SUNDAY

3/23

MONDAY

3/24

TUESDAY

3/25

10PM 10P M • $10 CO COVER VER

BREAKFAST SERVED AT 7AM DON’T MISS OUR BLOODY MARY BAR!

CHARLEY’S LIVE BAND OPEN MIC & JAM

7PM-10PM • no COVER

HOWARD AHIA & FRIENDS

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER

WEDNESDAY JAMIE GALLO’S SINGER &

3/26 266

S NG SO NGWR WRITER ER SHOWCASE SSHO HOWC WCAS A SONGWRITER

6:30PM-9:30PM • NO COVER

MARCH 20, 2014 21


by Alex Mitchell & Dayna Yamasaki

Calendar

Da Kine Calendar BIG SHOWS

FOODIE

CHALA CD RELEASE PARTY- Fri, Mar 21. Hosted by MC/DJ Irie Dole of Q103 and DJ Salvo, Maui reggae band CHALA will dominate the Upcountry music scene this Friday night. Bring your friends, party and dance to a live performance of CHALA’S new album Walk This World and hit singles like “Can’t Stop Smiling” and “Dawn Patrol.” Come early for Q103 giveaways–CDs, stickers and more Maui Reggae schwag. 21+, $10 all night, doors open at 9:30pm. Casanovas Makawao, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220, casanovamaui.com

VEGETARIAN COOKING CLASSES - Thu, Mar 20. See (and sample) how Chef Rachel Davies uses local, organic and wholesome ingredients to make healthy and delicious entrées, soups, breakfast, and desserts. No registration required. For a jump start on the class, check out more than 600 healthy recipes at downtoearth.org. First and third Thursday of every month. Free. 5:30-6:30pm Down To Earth, (305 Dairy Rd., Kahului); 808877-2661; downtoearth.org

IAN WALSH’S MENEHUNE MAYHEM AFTER-PARTY- Sat, Mar 22. Come up to the North Shore for the Menehune Mayhem Ho‘okipa Surf Contest after-party and MFC MMA III featuring DJ Big Mike and DJ Wizzard. 10pm. 21+, $10. Charley’s Restaurant and Saloon (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085, charleysmaui.com PAULA FUGA & FRIENDS- Fri, Mar 21. Enjoy Paula Fuga, Mike Love and Sam Ites as they perform at Stella Blues’ famous Supper Club this Friday. The four-course dinner starts at 6pm, and the show starts at 7:15pm. Dinner & Show is $60, Show only is $30. Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com

STAGE ‘MISS SAIGON’- AUDITIONS- Mapa is holding auditions for Miss Saigon on Wednesday, Mar. 26 (6-9:30pm), Saturday, Mar. 29 (12-6pm) and Friday, Apr. 4 (5-9:30pm). All roles are available. Auditions are open to performers ages 16 and up. To audition, you must first schedule a 10-minute audition appointment by emailing MAPA Production Coordinator Tina Kailiponi at tina@mauiacademy.org, prepare 32 measures of a song from musical theater that best demonstrates your range and bring a current headshot, resume and sheet music in the key in which you will sing (piano player will be provided). Please arrive 15 minutes before your audition appointment to check in. Auditions will be held at Steppingstone Playhouse in Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center. 808-244-8760; mauiacademy.org ‘LA CAGE AUX FOLLES’ - Jerry Herman’s La Cage aux Folles has returned to Maui. Georges is the manager of a St. Tropez nightclub featuring drag entertainment, and Albin is his romantic partner and the star attraction. Farcical adventures ensue when Georges’ son, Jean-Michel (fathered during a one-night fling), brings home his fiancée’s ultra-conservative parents to meet them. Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-242-6969; mauionstage.com ‘ULALENA - Mon-Fri. A nonpareil portal to Hawaiian history and kanaka maoli lore; what ‘Ulalena accomplishes–five night a weeks for 14 years strong–is without a doubt the most powerful and entertaining cultural education on Maui. Starting at $15.99 keiki / $39.99 adults. Kama‘aina, dinner and VIP packages available. 6:30pm Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; mauitheatre.com BURN’N LOVE–A MUSICAL JOURNEY STARRING DARREN LEE - Daily. Experience Elvis in Hawaii with Burn’n Love! Relive the nostalgia of Blue Hawaii and the Aloha from Hawaii live broadcast that made TV history with the most authentic Elvis tribute show ever presented on stage. Shows Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday at 8pm. Tickets start at $59.99, and kama‘aina prices are available. A portion of every ticket sold benefits the Maui Food Bank. 8pm Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; mauitheatre.com

22 MARCH 20, 2014

BBQ FOR MICROLOANS - Sat, Mar 22. Join us as we barbecue Maui Taro Burgers and serve Maui Kombucha! All proceeds will be go towards the Whole Planet Foundation to raise monies for microloans. Whole Planet Foundation was born out of Whole Foods Market’s desire to give something back to those who have helped us succeed, while focusing on the persistent problem of world poverty and hunger. 11am-3pm. Whole Foods Market Kahului (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310 x120; wholeplanetfoundation.org

watercolor techniques. A large collection of both oil and watercolor paintings will be on display. Free. 11am-1:30pm Maui Hands Gallery (1169 Makawao Ave.); 808-573-2021. VICTORIA WUNDRUM - Tue, Mar 25. Wundrum creates acrylics, pastels and also jewelry and mixed media constructions. She says of her recent body of watercolors, “I love the combination of control and abandonment. Carefully painting clear water on a detailed space and then dropping pigment and watching it move and settle into the thick, textured paper is wonderful. I love the bright clear colors that can be captured with watercolor.” Free. 11am-3pm Maui Hands Galleries (1169 Makawao Ave.); 808-573-2021. NADINE RAMELB - Wed, Mar 26. Artist Nadine Ramelb has lived in Hawaii for the past 27 years. Her watercolor style is free-form, blending and bleeding lush color applications without prepenciling. Her beautiful new scenic series is created in acrylics using her signature strokes. Free. 12-5:30pm Maui Hands Gallery (84 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-9245.

JAPENGO SATURDAY SUSHI SCHOOL - Sat, DR. JOIE “YASHA” TAYLOR- Fri, Mar 21 and Mar 22. Join sushi chef Jay Ledee in Japengo’s chic Wed, Mar 26. Joie Taylor is an artist, meditap g signag sushi lounge. Learn how to create Japengo’s tion guid guide, dancer, musician and th hands-on instructure sushi rolls from scratch,, wit with P has PhD in engineering from engo o’s team tion from Chef Jay and Japengo’s Cor Cornell University. No two 50 of expert sushi chefs. $50 pi pieces of her jewelry are per person (includes sushi,, tthe same. Her designs non-alcoholic beverages, incorporate gemstones tax and gratuity). Maximum and fine beads with gold 20 people per class, resand silver metal formervations are required. Eving techniques. “Gemery 2nd and 4th Saturday stones and metals carry T of every month. 3-4:30pm U a specific quality that enKO Japengo at the Hyatt ReC E hances physical, mental CH gency, (200 Nohea Kai EEK CAN EW aand often spiritual propU H Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667T O Y OF er erties for sensitive souls,” 4727; maui.hyatt.com 17. KS Tay Taylor says. “The aesthetic PIC AGE P SUNDAY NIGHT LAULAU LAU ON desig of these pieces brings design ealthy - Sun, Mar 23. Enjoy a healthy inne beauty of the wearer to the inner raditional and modern take on a traditional surface Free. Fri 11-5pm, Maui the surface.” d evening i att Hawaiian dish, every Sunday ( Hana Hwy., Paia); 808Hands Gallery (84 Ko. Come early, the laulau special is first-come, 579-9245, or Wed 11-6pm, Maui Hands Gallery first-served and does sell out. Kama‘aina offer not (612 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-9898. applicable. Ko Restaurant at The Fairmont Kea ISLAND ART PARTY CLASSES- Wed-Sat. Art Lani, Maui, (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875Party from 6:30-9:30pm, Sunday Morning Art 4100; fairmont.com Party 10am-1pm. It’s part art party, part painting class. Island Art Party (1279 S. Kihei Rd.), 808419-6020; islandartparty.com JANICE LOCKWOOD-AVERILL - Fri, Mar 21. Meet Janice at a reception event and take a look at her gallery of her Critters Doing Jail Time ExhiHAWAII PACIFIC UNIVERSITY SYMPHObition. A whimsical colorful display of fun scenes NY WITH MAKANA- Sat, Apr 5. Called “dazand critters for all ages painted in acrylics and zling” by The New York Times, slack key guitar textured embellishments. Refreshments provided. master Makana teams up with the Hawaii PacifFree. 6-8pm Old Jail Gallery at Courthouse Laic University Symphony Orchestra for this sonihaina (648 Wharf St., Lahaina) cally captivating evening of music. The art of ART MAUI EXHIBIT - Mon, Mar 24-Apr 20. Hawaiian slack key guitar (ki ho‘alu) produces This annual juried exhibition is organized by the symphonic-like sound from one guitar. Makana Art Maui Board of Directors to showcase Maui’s with the HPU Symphony is a rare and powerful community of artists. Discover the endless range combination that is not to be missed. Special of ideas and techniques presented in drawing, guests include alternative folk band sensation painting, sculpture, printmaking and photography. Streetlight Cadence. Tickets are $30, $20, The Schaefer International Gallery at the MACC is $15 for seniors, military, and $10 students open everyday from 10am- 5pm. Free. Maui Arts w/ID. 7:30pm. Maui Arts & Cultural Center, and Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, KahuCastle Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); lui); 808-242-7469, mauiarts.org 808-242-2787, mauiarts.org

'T N O D T! E G FOR

ART

TICKETS ON SALE

MORT LUBY - Mon, Mar 24. Mort Luby studied art at the Universities of Notre Dame and Chicago. He is a member of numerous art associations, including the Oil Painters of America, the Plein Air Painters of Chicago, the Valley Art Club and the Palette and Chisel Academy of Art in Chicago. Mort paints in oil and watercolor. The scope of his work encompasses everything from life drawings to huge oil paintings of historical scenes. The artist will be demonstrating

BOB DYLAN - Sat, Apr 26. The legendary singersongwriter will perform in Hawaii for the first time in 16 years. Bob Dylan’s best music often touched on contemporary social issues: “Like a Rolling Stone,” “Tangled Up in Blue,” “Just Like a Woman,” “All Along the Watchtower,” “Mr. Tambourine Man,” “Blowin’ in the Wind” and “Times They Are a Changing,” In 1997, Dylan became the first rock musician to receive the Kennedy Center Honors for lifetime achievement in performing arts, and in

2008 he was the recipient of the Pulitzer Prize for his “profound impact on popular music and American culture, marked by lyrical compositions of extraordinary poetic power.” $59-$125. Maui Arts & Cultural Center, Castle Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787, mauiarts.org MAUI BREWERS FESTIVAL-Sat, May 17. One of Maui’s favorite festivals features the specialty and craft brews of dozens of breweries from Hawaii and the Mainland, as well as scrumptious pupu samplers from many of the island’s favorite restaurants and caterers. Admission to the festival includes a commemorative glass to use in sampling eight four-ounce pours of beer. There will be live music for entertainment, as well as prizes. Proceeds benefit the MACC’s many educational programs for students, teachers and seniors, as well as the many free events offered to the Maui County community. Tickets go on sale Mar. 17, $60-$110, 21+, 2:30-7pm. Maui Arts & Cultural Center, Yokouchi Pavilion (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-2787, mauiarts.org

EVENTS THURSDAY, MAR 20 GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR’S GRAMMY AWARD SLACK KEY SHOW - Every Thursday, experience the music of the masters at George Kahumoku’s Slack Key Show. This week will include a line-up of slack key artist, featuring an award winning artist every week. $37-$79. 7:30pm Napili Kai Beach Resort, (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Napili); 808-669-6271; slackkeyshow.com COMMUNITY SUPPORT DAY FOR BEST BUDDIES HAWAII - All proceeds from Whole Foods Market Kahului will be donated to help fund Best Buddies Hawaii, a nonprofit focused on creating one-to-one friendships as well as assisting in employment and leadership development for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Whole Foods Market Kahului (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310 ENVIRONMENTAL BENEFITS OF A PLANTBASED DIET - Le‘amohala has been an Ocean Reef Lecturer and Whale Watch Naturalist, snorkel and hiking guide, Navatek II cruise director and the Educational Director for Leilani Farm Sanctuary. Today he’s the president of OLA (Optimum Living Alliance), a nonprofit organization dedicated to promoting personal and planetary vitality. He’s also developing several books focused on evolving the human character. Free Lecture. 7-8:30pm. J. Walter Cameron Center (95 Mahalani St., Wailuku); 808-944-8344; info@vsh.org

SATURDAY, MAR 22 ‘MOVE IT TO LOSE IT’ BOOK TALK - Carol Dexter, a former long time resident of Maui and now the author of Move It To Lose It, is reaching out to everyone who has a difficult time losing weight. In her book, she shows many ways to enjoy exercise. Dexter has an extensive background in weight loss nutrition and fitness. She’s currently a weight loss coach and personal trainer, and will be here to discuss her book. Free. 2-6pm. Binky’s Beads (3600 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Honokowai); 808-276-7474. KEIKI CAN READ TO A THERAPY DOG - Assistance Dogs of Hawaii, a nonprofit organization that provides people with physical disabilities specially-trained dogs to assist them in living more independent lives, will present a program which is said to improve children’s reading and communication skills. Reading to a Therapy Dog can help build a keiki’s reading confidence, strengthen literacy skills, and is a lot of fun. Parents should contact the Library to sign up their children for 15-minute reading sessions. Pre-registration is required. All children must be accompanied by a parent or care-


TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

3/20

3/21

3/22

3/23

3/24-3/26

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-1011

DigiLuxe w/DJ TRVR 10pm

Sunrise Saturday w/DJ Decka, 10pm

Benny Uyetake 7:30-10pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Will Hartzag 7:30-10pm; no cover

CHALA CD Release Party w/DJ Irie Dole & DJ Salvo, 9:30pm $10

Spontaneous Dance w/ GDub & Bass Nymph, $10 B4 10pm, $15 after

Mana’o Radio’s 12th Birthday Bash!! $7 donation, 2pm

90’s Night w/DJ Blast, 10pm

Ian Walsh’s Menehune Mayhem After Party & MFC MMA III w/DJ BIg Mike & DJ Wizzard, 10pm, $10

Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Justin Phillips 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30pm , TUE - Jazz 7:30-10pm WED-TBA

S.I.N

Mango Pickers, 8pm

Annie and the Orfinz, 9pm

Gina Martinelli , 6pm

TUE-Pool League WED-Headhigh, 8pm

Quiz 7pm

DJ 10pm

Jordan 7pm

S.I.N.

TUE-Johnny Ringo, at 10pm

Ryan Robinson, 6:30pm

Scott & Nara, 6:30pm

Smile at the Moon, 6:30pm

Rick G, 6:30pm

MON-Rick G WED-JD on the Rocks 6:30pm, Thunder & Lightnin 9pm

Dominic 6pm, JAH Residentz 9pm

Rick G 4pm, Dat Guyz 9pm

Ryan Robinson 4pm, Guest Band Night

Industry Night Karaoke 8pm

MON - Karaoke, 8pm, TUE-Karaoke, WEDRick G 4-8pm, Open Mic 9pm-close

Elvis! Burn’n Love Sneak Peak, 6:30pm

Evan Schulman, 5:30-8:30pm

Karaoke 9pm

Karaoke 9pm

Karaoke 9pm

Rick Glencross, 7pm

Mel Aruza, 7pm

Rick Glencross, 7pm

CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL Wharf Cinema Center, 672 Front St., Lahaina - 667-0988

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave. - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

Blues Night w/ Mark Johnstone & Justin Favell, 6:30-8:30pm

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd.- 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. 744 Front St. (Rooftop), Lahaina - 669-6425

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

ISANA 515 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-5700

JAVA JAZZ 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

giver. Free program for keiki in grades 1 through 5. 3-4pm Makawao Public Library (1159 Makawao Ave.); 808-573-8785; librarieshawaii.org

SUNDAY, MAR 23 SPCA CAT CLINIC DAYS - Help the Maui SPCA “fix” the problem. All cats are welcome, and all fixes are by donation. Humane traps are available to lend. Do the Island of Maui a favor and fix that neighborhood kitty before you have neighborhood kittens! Clinic Days are Sunday, Mar. 23, Apr. 13, Apr. 27, May 4, May 18 and May 25. Please call to reserve a space, borrow a trap, volunteer, sponsor a fix and make donations. Email for more information and clinic locations. 808-280-0738; info@mauispca.org READ ALOUD AMERICA - Here’s familyfriendly story-time with Aunty Joanne. All kids will receive a free book, too. It’s perfect for kids ages two to 12. All children must be accompanied by an adult. Free. 2pm Whole Foods Market Kahului (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310 x120; readaloudamerica.org FREE HULA SHOW - Free. 11am Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; mauimall.com GLBT MAUI PRIDE MARTINI NIGHT - GLBT and friends are invited to sip martinis and mingle every Sunday at Ambrosia. Free. No host food & drinks. 8pm-2am Ambrosia, (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-1011; mauipride.org

TUESDAY, MAR 25 FREE SPINE HEALTH SCREENINGS - Meet Dr. James Urban, who has more than 20 years of experience in the “gonstead” art from of adjusting–the “gold standard” in traditional full-spine adjusting. Urban is offering free health scans of the spine through the use of thermography for

MON - Monday Madness w/ DJ Skinny Guy 9pm TUE- Tequila Tuesday w/DJ 10pm, WED- Polka Dots & Moonbeams w/DJ 10pm

Get Your Freq On w/ DJ Larage, 10pm

Whole Foods Market customers. Thermography reads temperatures along the spine that can indicate pain, trauma, imbalance or other potential hidden health problems and only takes seconds. First-come, first-served. Free. 12:30-3:30pm Whole Foods Market Kahului (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310 x120

WEDNESDAY, MAR 26 KOKUA AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD- The Hawaii Health Connector and Planned Parenthood of Hawaii are combining for a joint effort to provide individuals with insurance enrollment assistance before the Affordable Care Act’s Mar. 31 deadline. Connector Kokua will be present at Planned Parenthood of Hawaii Health Centers across the state on select days and times in a stepped up effort to ensure that all Hawaii people, especially those in areas with the greatest health care need, have the information and resources they need to enroll in new, more affordable health insurance plans under the Affordable Care Act. 1-3pm. Maui Health Center, (140 Hoohana St., Ste. 303, Kahului); HawaiiHealthConnector.com SOUTH SIDE BIKE RIDE - You’ll need more than a beach cruiser for this bike ride. Riders pedal an average 15mph from Kihei to Iao Valley and back. Meet at South Maui Bicycles shop shortly before 7am. Road bikes recommended. Free. Every Wednesday. South Maui Bicycles, (1993 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-0068; southmauibicycles.com GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR’S GRAMMY AWARD SLACK KEY SHOW - Every Wednesday experience the music of the masters at George Kahumoku’s Slack Key Show. This week will include a line-up of slack key artist, featuring an award winning artist every week. $37-$79. 7:30pm Napili Kai Beach

T-Dance w/DJ Playfire Ono, 9pm

WED- Famous Ladies Night w/DJ Kurt, 9-1am

MON - Open Mic Night TUE - Howard Ahia & Friends 6:30-8:30/ WED-Jamie Gallo Showcase, 6:30-8:30

MON-Evan Schulman 5:30-8:30pm TUE-Elvis Burn’n Love Sneak Peak 6:30pm WED-Kenny Roberts, 5:30-8:30pm WED - Karaoke 9pm Mike Madden & Farzad Azad, 7pm

Resort, (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Napili); 808-669-6271; slackkeyshow.com

FARMERS MARKET, ART/CRAFT FAIRS FARMERS MARKET OF MAUI, HONOKOWAI - Every Mon, Wed & Fri. Lots of fresh local produce plus baked and canned goods. 7-11am Farmers Market Maui & Deli, (3636 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Kahana); 808-669-7004 FARMERS MARKET OF MAUI, KIHEI Mon-Fri. Sample the goods at this local market for fresh produce. On Fridays, open until 5pm. 8am-4pm Farmers Market of Maui, (61 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-0949 MAKAWAO FARMERS MARKET - Every Wed. Fresh produce. Everything sold is Maui Grown, non-GMO and organic. 9am-2pm Po‘okela Church, (200 Olinda Rd., Makawao); 808-419-1570 FARMERS MARKET IN PAIA - Daily. Island grown fruit smoothies, coconut water and fresh juices. Organically grown Maui fruits and veggies. Produce Boxes available. Support your local farmers at One Love market at the Historic Paia Train Station. 10am-6pm One Love Market, (381 Baldwin Ave, Paia); 808-280-9019; onelovemarket.com ONO ORGANIC FARMS - Daily (except Sat). A family-owned and operated, certified organic coffee and tropical fruit farm. 10:30am-6pm Ono Organic Farms, (149 Hana Hwy.) KULA COUNTRY FARMS - Daily (except Mon). Kula Country Farm stand offers fruits and vegetables that are only locally grown and harvested fresh then stocked on the shelves daily. Open

MON- Mike & Farzad, TUE-Cole Sulenta, WED-Fulton Tashombe

T-Th 11am to 5pm. 11am-4pm Kula Country Farms, (Kula Hwy at Kekaulike Avenue, Kula) OPEN MARKET - Every Wed. Hale Ku‘ai Open Market features fresh fruit and vegetables open to the public on Wednesday from 11am to 2pm. Available for pre orders pick up on Wednesday call 984-2156 or email lanakilahalekuai@gmail. com. Free. 11am-2pm Open market, (1977 Main St., Wailuku); 808-984-2156 FEED MY SHEEP PRODUCE LAHAINA Every Thu. FMS Produce is a mobile produce market that sells fresh Upcountry Produce to benefit Feed My Sheep and the hungry on Maui. Those who financially qualify will be able to buy the produce at a 75 percent discount and SNAP (food stamps) will be accepted. Free. 10am-12pm Republic Parking Lot, (Corner of Dickenson and Waine‘e, Lahaina); feedmysheepmaui.com HANA FRESH FARMER’S MARKET - Every Thu. 11am-3pm Hana Fresh, (4590 Hana Hwy) FARMERS MARKET UHMC - Every Mon & Thu. Enjoy fresh sustainably grown produce including tomatoes, lettuce, eggplant, squash, kale, beets, radish, herbs, Asian greens, daikon, chard, flowers and more. Grown on campus by Agriculture and Natural Resource students. 12-1:30pm University of Hawaii Maui College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-984-3500; maui.hawaii.edu FEED MY SHEEP PRODUCE KAHANA - Every Thu. FMS Produce is a mobile produce market that sells fresh Upcountry Produce to benefit Feed My Sheep and the hungry on Maui. Those who financially qualify will be able to buy the produce at a 75 percent discount and SNAP (food stamps) will be accepted. Free. 2-4pm Lahaina Christian Fellowship Church, (4275 Hine Way, Kahana); feedmysheepmaui.com

MARCH 20, 2014 23


1279 S. KIHEI RD. • 874.9299 MAUI’S COLDEST BEER • FOOD TIL MIDNIGHT OPEN 11AM - 1:30AM

DAILY FOOD SPECIALS

MONDAYS $

TUESDAYS

2

$

TACOS

MAUI ARTS + MAUITIME FLAVOR

FAJITAS

WEDNESDAYS THURSDAYS $

8. 95

$

14. 95

CHALUPAS

BBQ RIBS

FRIDAYS

SATURDAYS

ENTERTAINMENT WITH

14. 95

$

12.95

$

9. 95

RED SNAPPER FISH & CHIPS $

SUNDAYS

2 EL PASTOR TACOS

.com

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

CASANOVA’S FAMOUS LADIES NIGHT DJ KURT

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI”

MUSIC STARTS @ 10PM + $5 BEFORE 11PM - $10 AFTER

FRIDAY, MARCH 21ST

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA’S THE AWARDS

THIRD FRIDAY PARTY IN MAKAWAO

SHOW STARTS AT 9:30PM $10 COVER

CHALA CD RELEASE PARTY WITH SPECIAL GUESTS DJ IRIE DOLE - DJ SALVO

SATURDAY, MARCH 22ND

THE SOURCE PRESENTS

MUSIC STARTS AT 10PM $10 BEFORE 10PM - $15 AFTER

SPONTANEOUS DANCE GDUB - BASS NYMPH

SUNDAY, MARCH 23RD

MANA’O RADIO 12TH BIRTHDAY PARTY BASH

SHOW STARTS AT 2PM $7 DONATION

MANA’O RADIO ORCHESTRA WITH DON LOPEZ - VINCE ESQUIRE DOROTHY BETZ - LES ADAM - ROBBY RAY

SPECIAL GUESTS ALL DAY LONG

MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING + DINE & DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS CALL 808.572.0220 LOG ON AT WWW.CASANOVAMAUI.COM

24 MARCH 20, 2014


TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

3/20

3/21

3/22

3/23

3/24-3/26

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KAHALE’S 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-7711

KIMO’S 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

Kawika’s Krew

Kenny Roberts 7pm; no cover

Eight Track Players 7pm; no cover

Jarod or Maui Blues & Co 7pm; no cover

MON - John Ness or The Vamp TUE - Kihei Cowboys WED - Country Herb & Side Effects, 7pm

1810’, 6:30-8:30pm

Nuff Sedd, 9-11pm

1810’, 8-10pm

Benny and Glenn, 6-8pm

MON - Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa, 6-8pm, TUE & WED - Sam Ahia 6:308:30pm

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

KOBE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St. (Lounge Area), Lahaina - 667-5555

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR

MON-Trivia 7-9pm

843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

L‘AVA SPORTS BAR & KARAOKE 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

LONGHI’S LAHAINA 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S LAHAINA Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

MAUI BEACH HOTEL 1 70 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului - 877-0051

MERRIMAN’S 1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Sounds of Addiction 10:30pm, $5

Frequency Dance Party 10:30pm, $5

Rock Thursdays & Pool Tournament 8pm-close

Latin Friday’s w/ DJ Danny & DJ Moy, 10pm no cover

Ignite Saturdays w/ DJ Big Mike & Kamikaze, 10pm

no

info

at

press

time

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON - David Wolfberg / TUE - The Benoits WED - Ranga Pae (all 5:30-8:30pm)

Murray Thorne 5:30-6:30pm, Willie K 7-9pm, Trish da Dish, 9:30-midnight

Stay Eazy 6:30-8:30pm

Soul Kitchen 7-9pm

The Celtic Tigers, 7-10pm

MON - Joyce and Gord, 6:30-8:30pm TUE - Mulligan’s Magic, 6:30-8:30pm WED- Willie K 7-9pm

Two Cats Acoustic Jazz, 7-9:30pm, no cover MON- S.I.N. 10pm, TUE-Trivia Night 8pm, WED-Karaoke 10pm

LIPOA STREET FARMERS MARKET IN KIHEI - Every Sat. Fruits, produce and Ono Farm sourced foods, 8:30am-11:00am, (95 Lipoa St., Kihei)

KARAOKE - Wed, Jan 22. No cover. 10pm1am Lulu’s Lahaina Surf Club & Grill, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-0808

Every Mon & Tue, Eddie & Alika 6-8:30pm; Every Wed & Sat, Danyell 3-5pm. (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Ka‘anapali); 808-662-2900.

MAUI SWAP MEET - Every Sat. From camo hunting gear and koa carvings to vintage aloha postcards and delicate, locally-crafted jewelry, produce market, this place pretty much has it all. 50 cents admission. 7am-1pm Maui Community College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808244-3100; mauiexposition.com

KARAOKE WITH “AUNTIE” TODDY LILIKOI IN THE LOUNGE AREA - Every Fri & Sat. Oku’s sushi is available until 11:30pm. 9:30pm Kobe Japanese Steakhouse & Oku’s Sushi Bar, (136 Dickenson St., Lahaina); 808-667-5555; kobemaui.com

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT STREET - Thu, Randall Rospond 6:30-9:30pm; Every Sun & Mon, Rick G 6:30-9:30pm; Fri, The House Shakers 6:30pm; Mon, Alapa Drive: Full Rock Band 6:30-9:30pm; Daily, Fleetwood’s on Front St. Oyster Hour 5-6pm. (744 Front St., Lahaina); 808-669-6425.

UPCOUNTRY FARMER’S MARKET - Every Sat. Find the best veggies, fruits, flowers and plants, Maui farmers have to offer. Plus, extra goodies like jams and jellies. 7-11am Kulamalu Town Center (near Longs Drugs), 808-283-3257; upcountryfarmersmarket.org; upcountryfarmersmarket@gmail.com LAHAINA ARTS SOCIETY’S FINE ART FAIR - Every Sun & Sat. Under the shade of Lahaina’s famous banyan tree, over 50 select Maui artists show and sell their work. Find unique treasures including jewelry, art, hand-sewn items, candles and time travel at the Historic Old Lahaina Courthouse. Free. 9am-5pm Banyan Tree Park, (649 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-9175; visitlahaina.com FEED MY SHEEP PRODUCE KAHULUI - Every Sat. FMS Produce is a mobile produce market that sells fresh Upcountry Produce to benefit Feed My Sheep and the hungry on Maui. Those who financially qualify will be able to buy the produce at a 75 percent discount and SNAP (food stamps) will be accepted. Free. 9:30am-12pm Christ the King Church, (Corner of Wakea Ave. and Pu ‘unene Ave., Kahului); feedmysheepmaui.com HANA FRESH FARMER’S MARKET - Mondays. 3-6pm Hana Fresh, (4590 Hana Hwy.) ARTISAN FAIR - Mondays. Come to shop, stay to dine. Local made on Maui Artists showcasing and selling artwork, photography, jewelry, accessories, clothing, massage and wellness. Cash bar and complimentary valet. Free entry. 5-10pm Longhi’s Lahaina, (888 Front St., Lahaina); 808667-2288; longhis.com

KARAOKE FREE KARAOKE - Every Sun & Wed. L’ava Sports Bar & Karaoke, (1088 L. Main St., Wailuku); 808-244-4888

KARAOKE INDUSTRY NIGHT - Every Sun & Mon. Welcoming all workers from the food and beverage industry to let loose and belt a tune. Half off food and drinks. No Cover. 8pm Haui’s Life’s A Beach, (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8010

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL - Sat, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sun, Will Hartzag 7:3010pm; Fri, Benny Uyetake 7:30-10pm. (672 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0988. CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE - Thu, Classic Rock 4-10pm; Every Tue & Sat, Easy Listening 4-10pm; Sun, Classic Rock 4-10pm; Mon, Jazz Rock 4-10pm; Every Wed & Fri, Rock & Roll haina ); 808808 4-10pm. (811 Front St., Lahaina 661-4855. COOL CAT CAFE - Thu, Will ny Hartzog 7:30-10pm; Fri, Jonny e Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sat, Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; Sun, Justin Phillips 7-9pm; Mon, Peter D 7-9:30pm; Tue, Jazz 7:30-10pm; Tue, Jazz at the Cat 7:30-10pm; Wed, Jordan Cuddy 7:3010pm. (Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908.

HARD ROCK CAFE - Mon: Evan Shulman 5:308:30, Tue: Elvis! Burn’n Love Sneak Peak 6:30, Wed: Kenny Roberts 5:30-8:30, Thur: Elvis! Burn’n Love Sneak Peak 6:30, Fri: Evan Shulman 5:308:30. (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400. HULA GRILL - Wed, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Wed, Peter DeAquino 4pm; Wed, Ernest Pua’a, Kamuela & Roy Kato 6:30pm; Thu, Alika Nakaoka 1:30pm; Thu, Kaniala Masoe 4pm; Thu, Damon Parillo, Ron Heeton and Keali’i Parillo 6:30pm; Every Sun, Tue, Fri & Sat, Kawika Lum Ho 11am; Fri, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Every Sun, Fri & Sat, 1810 4pm; Fri, Kawika Lum Ho, Roy Kato & Mark D’Antonio 6:30pm; Sat, Damon Parillo 1:30pm; Sat, Danyel Alana, Derick Sebastian and Roy Kato 6:30pm; Sun, Danyel Alana 1:30pm; Sun, Derick Sebastian, Ryan Tanaka and John Kahaiali‘ii 6:30pm; Mon, Kawika Lum Ho 1:30pm; Mon, Arma Armadillo & Derek 4pm; Mon, De Derick Sebastian & Josh Ka Kahula 6:30pm; Tue, Jarr rett Roback 1:30pm; T Tue, Damon Parillo & Roy Kato 4pm; Tue, Wili Pohaku 6:30pm; Every Mon, Wed & Thu, Ernest Pua’a 11am. (2435 Ka‘anapali P Pkwy.); 808-667-6636.

SUBMIT YOUR

CALENDAR LISTINGS TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

JA JAPENGO AT THE HYATT REG REGENCY - Thu, Kanoa Kukaua Duo 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, MandoKa MandoKane 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Kawika Ortiz 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, Kelly Covington Duo 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Margie Hart 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Kanoa Kukauta 6:308:30pm; Wed, Pam Peterson 6:30-8:30pm. (200 Nohea Kai Drive, Ka‘anapali); 808-661-1234.

E DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE Wed, Kalapana 3-5pm; Wed, pm; EvKaniela Q & Kahala 6-8:30pm; ery Tue & Thu, Ben 3-5pm; Thu, Garrett & Peter 6-8:30pm; Fri, Garrett 3-5pm; Fri, Damon and Tim 6-8:30pm; Sat, Tim 3-5pm; Every Sun & Sat, Damon & Ron Oversize Productions 6-8:30pm; Every Sun & Mon, Keali‘i Lum 3-5pm;

MON, TUE & WED - Karaoke

JAVA JAZZ/SOUP NUTZ - Every Thu & Sat, Rick Glencross 7-10pm; Fri, Mel Arausa 7-10pm; Sun, Mike Madden 7-10pm; Mon, Farzad Azad 7-10pm; Tue, Cole Suletna 7-10pm; Wed, Tracy Stiles 7-10pm. (3350 L. Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Honokowai); 808-667-0787. KIMO’S - Thu, 1810 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, 1810 8-10pm; Every Sun & Mon, Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakugawa 6-8pm; Every Tue & Wed, Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm. (845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811. LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Sun, Greg Di Piazza 7:30-9:30pm; Every Mon & Tue, Martin Tevaga 7:30-9:30pm; Every Wed, Thu & Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm. (730 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0700. LAHAINA SPORTS BAR - Tue, Open Mic.; Mon, Trivia 7-9pm. (843 Waine‘e St., Lahaina); 808-667-6655 LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Thu, Jarret & Wilson 3-5pm; Fri, JD & Friends 3-5pm; Sat, JD & Harry 3-5pm; Sun, Merv Oana 3-5pm; Wed, Jarret & Josh 3-5pm. (2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-4495. LONGBOARDS KA‘ANAPALI - Every Tue, Wed, Thu & Fri, Solo guitarist 5:30-8:30pm. (100 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-1200. LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Thu, Rock Thursday 6-9pm; Wed, Island Jams with Kenny Roberts 6-9pm. (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-0808. MERRIMAN’S - Mon, David Wolfberg 5:308:30pm; Tue, The Benoits 5:30-8:30pm; Daily (except Mon & Tue), Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm. (1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua); 808-669-6400. OCEAN POOL BAR & GRILL - Mon, Ukulele/ Lounge 4-7pm; Fri, Ukulele/Lounge 4-7pm. (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200. PAILOLO BAR & GRILL - Every Tue, Wed & Thu, Ukulele/Pop 5-8pm. (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200. PARADISE GRILL - Fri, Kaliko’s Way 6-9pm; Sat, Justin 6-9pm; Sun, Deeson 6-9pm; Thu, Harry Troup E 6-9pm. (2291 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-3700.

MARCH 20, 2014 25


SUNSET HAPPY HOUR

MARCH 21

LATE NIGHT HAPPY HOUR

PAULA FUGA, MIKE LOVE AND SAM ITES

BAR TOP ONLY 4PM-7PM MON-FRI

BAR TOP ONLY 9PM-12AM MON-FRI

DRAFT BEER - $4

PREMIUM WELL DRINKS - $4

WINES - $5

MARCH TROPICAL DRINK SPECIAL! BAHAMA MAMA - $5

LIVE MUSIC

MAUI

MONDAY

EVAN SHULMAN

TUESDAY

(M - F)

5:30PM-8:30PM WEDNESDAY

KENNY ROBERTS

FRIDAY

EVAN SHULMAN

THURSDAY

BURN’N LOVE WITH DARREN LEE AS ELVIS! BURN’N LOVE WITH DARREN LEE AS ELVIS! 900 FRONT ST. B7 | LAHAINA, HI | 808-667-7400 LOCATED IN THE OUTLETS OF MAUI (FORMERLY LAHAINA CENTER)

MARCH 28 4TH FRIDAY KIHEI TOWN PARTY 4-6PM

NATALIE NICOLE 6-8PM

KANEKOA TRIO 9PM-12:30AM

Happy

Hour Daily 3pm - 6pm

1/2 PRICE PUPUS $3 MAI TAIS & MARGARITAS

$2.50 PABST $5.00 WINGS

DJ BIG MIKE &

MARCH 29

DAILY 10PM - 11PM

• BLACK SQUARE • ORDER OF THE WHITE ROSE • THE THE MINORITIES MINORITIES SEND RESUME TO: Interns@mauitime.com or 33 N. Market Street, Suite 201 Wailuku, HI 96793

26 MARCH 20, 2014

MAUI’S FINEST STEAK & FISH H MA HOUSE OUSE SE 1945 S. KIHEI RD • 808.214.5788 11AM - 11PM MON - SAT 7AM - 11PM SUNDAY


TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

3/20

3/21

3/22

3/23

3/24-3/26

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

RITA’S 1945 S.Kihei Rd. 214-5788

SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 - 879-0004

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-6444

Shea & Eddie Nuno, 7-10pm

Maui Blues Band, 7-10pm

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

DJ Blast 10pm

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm; no cover

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

Pub Trivia, 8pm no cover

STELLA BLUES CAFE

1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd. - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

WATERCRESS Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351

PINEAPPLE GRILL - Thu, Island Rhythm Sounds of Josh Kahula of Nuff Sedd 7-10pm; Fri, Danyel Alana 6-9pm; Sat, Island Sounds with Alika & Eddie 7-10pm; Thu, Jazz Sounds of Fulton Tashombe 6-9pm. (200 Kapalua Dr.); 808-669-9600. PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Tue, Ah-Tim Elenicki 6-9pm; Mon, Kalani 6-9pm; Thu, Greg di Piazza feat. Alana Cini 6-9pm. (658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-8881. RB BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm. (4465 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Kahana); 808-669-8889. RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE - Every Sun & Sat, Live Jazz 6-9pm. (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-8815. SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT, NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT - Every Tue, Thu & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm; Mon, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm. (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Napili); 808-669-1500. THE CLIFF DIVE BAR - Thu, Tim Osborne 6:308pm; Sat, Larry Golis & Hollis Lee 6:30-8pm; Mon, Larry Golis 6:30-8pm; Every Tue, Wed & Fri, Scott Baird 6:30-8pm. (2605 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-8025. UMALU - Sun, Kawika Ortiz 6-8pm; Mon, Kawika LumHo 6-8pm; Tue, Craig Soderberg 6-8pm; Wed, Kawika Ortiz 5-9:30pm. (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-661-1234.

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Mon, Kanoa and Jessica Rabbitt 7pm; Thu, Special Guest 7:30pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-1011. BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Every Thu & Sat, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Fri, Tom Cherry & Mike Finkiewicz 5-8pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm; Every Sun & Wed, Mark Burnett 5-8pm. (300 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-243-2286. CAPISCHE? - Sat, Mark Johnstone with Marcus Johnson 7-10pm; Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm. (555 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-879-2224. DIAMONDS ICE BAR & GRILL - Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-9299. DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB - Sun, Sebrina Barron 6pm; Sat, Jordan T. 7pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-9669.

Karaoke, 7-10pm

MON- WED Victoria/String Guitar 6-8:30pm

DJ LX 10pm; no cover

Kanoa 10pm; no cover

MON - DJ Big Mike / TUE - DJ Salvo / WED - New La80’s Night w/ DJ Decka (all sets 10 pm)

March Madness

UFC Fight Night, Free Pool

MON- Bingo7-9pm , TUE- Pau Hana Pool League, WED- Free Pool

Kekona Ohana, 8:30pm no cover

Kanekoa Acoustic Trio, 5pm no cover

TUE- Free Pool, WED-Free Pool

Paula Fuga, Mike Love & Sam Ites, 6pm

1279 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

Just Us, 8pm, no cover

John Grover Band, 7-10pm

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

Annie and the Orfinz, 9pm, $4 cover

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

Salsa Night w/ Barbara & Ernesto, 8pm-no cover

Jazz Night w/Louise & Friends, no cover

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON-WED- Karaoke

GOGO Dancing

Free Karaoke

Alternative Night w/ DJ

Free Karaoke

MON, TUE & WED- Free Karaoke

WED- Blues Night w/House Shakers 8:30pm, no cover

GANNON’S A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT - Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm; Fri, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm. (100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-875-8080.

PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Mon, Twisted Hips Belly Dancing 6-8pm; Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 5:30-7:30pm. (34 Wailea Gateway Plaza); 808-879-7177.

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Thu, Dominic 4-8pm; Sat, Ryan Robinson 4-8pm; Every Tue, Wed & Fri, Rick Glencross 4-8pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8010.

RITA’S - Sat, Blues with Louise Lambert and Kenny Geiser 6:30-9:30pm. (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-214-5788.

JUST WING IT! - Every Fri & Sat, Chicken Boxing 5-7pm. (225 Pi‘ikea Ave., Kihei); 808-875-9464. KAMAOLE POOLSIDE CAFE - Thu, Kawika Lum Ho 6-9pm; Fri, Gina Martinelli 6-9pm; Sat, Ron Shadian 6-9pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm; Mon, Rama Camarillo 6-9pm; Tue, Mike & Mark 6-9pm; Wed, Steve Sargenti 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8860. MAKENA BEACH & GOLF RESORT - Fri, Glen Kakugawa 6-9:30pm; Sat, Deason Baybayan 6-9:30pm; Sun, Craig Soderberg 6-9:30pm; Mon, Reiko Fukino 6-9:30pm; Every Tue & Thu, Clay Mortensen 6-9:30pm. (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888. MAUI COAST HOTEL - Thu, Kawika Lum Ho 6-9pm; Fri, Gina Martinelli 6-9pm; Sat, Ron Shadian 6-9pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm; Mon, Rama Camarillo 6-9pm; Tue, Mike and Mark 6-9pm; Wed, Steve Sargenti 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6284. MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Wed, Jarret & Wilson 7-9pm; Thu, Tom Cherry 4-6pm; Thu, Tom & Mark 7-9pm; Fri, Wolf 4-6pm; Fri, Alika Naka’oka 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Alika 7-9pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 7-9pm; Sun, Alika Naka’oka 4-6pm; Sun, Kilohana 7-9pm; Mon, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Mon, Tarvin Makia 7-9pm; Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Tue, Kilohana 7-9pm; Wed, Mike Finkiewicz 4-6pm. (10 Wailea Gateway Pl.); 808-891-2322. MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Wed, Willie K. 7-9pm; Thu, Murray Thorne sets Mulligans afire 7pm; Thu, Super Fun Pub Quiz with Trish 9:30pm; Fri, Stay Eazy 7-9pm; Sat, Soul Kitchen 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, The Celtic Tigers 6:309:30pm; Mon, The Makai Jazz Group 7-9pm; Tue, Brenton Keith’s Mulligan’s Magic Show 6:30-8pm; Wed, Joel Katz 5:30-6:30pm. (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131.

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Thu, Jaime Gallo 4-6pm; Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Tue, Sebrina Barron 4-6pm; Wed, Mark Johnstone 4-6pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6444. STELLA BLUES CAFE - Thu, Ah Tim 4-6pm; Fri, Ahumanu 4-6pm; Sat, Vince Esquire & Kaulana 4-6pm; Sun, Jamie Lawrence 4-6pm; Mon, Clay Mortensen 4-6pm; Tue, Kimo 4-6pm; Wed, Randall Rospond 4-6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-3779. TAQUERIA CRUZ - Thu, Rama Camarillo 6:308:30pm; Fri, Ellis Ayres 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Reggae w/ Ras Shaggai 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Artie Parti 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Kawika Ortiz 6:308:30pm; Wed, Natalie Nicole 6:30-8:30pm. (2395 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-2910.

CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT & SALOON - Thu, Prime Rib Thursday Night Blues with Mark Johnstone & Lenny Castellanos 6:308:30pm; Mon, Live Band Open Mic & Jam 7-10pm; Tue, Howard Ahia 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, Evan Dove & Friends 6:30-8:30pm. (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085. DAZOO RESTAURANT - Tue, Richard Dancil Hawaiian Music 6-8pm; Thu, Miss Meaghan Owens 6:30-8:30pm. (71 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-9999. FLATBREAD COMPANY - Thu, Randall Rospond 5:30-8pm; Mon, Wes Furumoto 6-9pm. (89 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8989. HANA HOU CAFE - Thu, Rick 6-9pm; Fri, Steve Sargenti and Swiss 6-9pm; Sat, Tradewinds 6-9pm; Mon, Hula Honeys 6-9pm; Wed, Betz and Adam with Vince Esquire 6:30-9pm. (810 Haiku Rd.); 808-575-2661.

THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Fri, Louise Lambert Jazz Trio 7:30-10:30pm; Wed, Blues with the House Shakers 8:30-10:30pm. (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133. TOMMY BAHAMA’S TROPICAL CAFE Every Thu & Fri, Margie Heart 5:30-9:30pm; Every Sun & Sat, Howard Ahia 5:30-9:30pm; Mon, Greg Di Piazza 5:30-9:30pm; Wed, Merv Oana 5:30-9:30pm. (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-9983.

CENTRAL MAUI KAHULUI ALE HOUSE - Every Tue & Thu, Piilani Arias 5-8pm; Fri, Local Live Music 5-9pm; Sat, Ben Deleon 5-9pm; Sun, Live Music 5-8pm; Mon, Ben Deleon 5-8pm; Wed, Sheron Depont 5-8pm. (355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului); 808-877-9001. WAILUKU COFFEE COMPANY - Fri, Live Music 4-6pm. (28 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-495-0259.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CAFE DES AMIS - Mon, Mark Johnstone 6:308:30pm. (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-6323.

MARCH 20, 2014 27


FRIDAYS 3-6PM

Talks

96.7FM 1110AM Interesting issues, free stuff, and a lot of silliness Listen for the Maui time segment in the 3pm hour

The Business Card District ELECTROLYSIS

JULIA APPLE

Owner/Licensed Barber & Stylist

Stop plucking & shaving unwanted hair ACNE CARE SPECIALIST

Mon-Thurs 11am-6pm / Fri & Sat 9am-3pm MAUI’S CO-ED BARBER SHOP FOR ALL AGES Classic and trendy clipper cuts, Sassoon style scissor cuts, and straight razor line-ups.

Complimentary consultation

115 E Lipoa Street Kihei • 808-875-7070

$22 $2 22 M MEN’S EN’ CUT WITH STRAIGHT RAZOR LINE-UP

tonio GleHno’onkaAhi.n, Ste. #270.8968 8.8 430 enter 80 Wailuku C

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808-874-9000 • www.808fades.com 1794 S. Kihei Rd. • Kihei, Maui

• As low as $25 per person • Lahaina studio or in-home POLE FITNESS CLASSES & WORKSHOPS AVAILABLE

MAUI’S OWN WOOD SUNGLASSES

CYSTALS, MINERALS, JEWELRY, STATUES & MORE The Crystal Store with a Heart! HOURS: MON. - SUN. 10AM - 6PM H 808-244-2300 Sylvia Wedmedyk greenlotuscrystals@gmail.com Mery Rose Moreland www.greenlotusmaui.com

808-283-2018 • WWW.MAUIWOODYS.COM

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by Caeriel Crestin

Horoscope

Sign Language ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

Leave your birthday candles lit. Don’t blow them out, and don’t make a birthday wish. Sure, it would come true, but in the worst possible way, like a wish made on a monkey’s paw. Save yourself from the ill-fated miscarriage of your heartfelt desire. Hang onto all those well-earned yearnings until next week, when the universe is more likely to manifest your dream without tragedy. So if you happen to have a party this week, and there’s a cake, when it comes your way, respectfully decline the candle-blowing ritual. Make up something cheesy people can get behind, like “I already got my wish—you’re all here,” or, “My asthma’s acting up. You do it.” Whatever you do, pass on the monkey paw wishes. They’re just not worth the trouble. TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

Lurk. Since all your power spots are hiding places this week, skulking is currently your most invaluable skill. Loiter under bleachers, squat on restroom toilets, or prowl the dark corners of a crowded bar. You’re almost certain to become privy to information you’re dying to know, either about yourself or concerning something you’re involved in (or someone you’re involved with). Screw ethics for once. Wouldn’t you rather know ahead of time if you’re going to be laid off or dumped? I think you would: that way you can do something about it, like prevent it, or wreak preemptive revenge.

crazy shit you’ve put up with from your friends, you have more than a lion’s share of understanding and forgiveness coming your way.

QUIZ understood

ANSWERS

...to questions from page 4

1: A–Gold medal 2: B–Phones 3: D–Biogas

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

Flexible Librans are more likely to succeed than rigid, unbendable ones. I’m talking mostly about your inner resilience, but I’m suspecting there’s a correlation between it and your ability to put your feet behind your head. Stretch this week, both physically and emotionally. Start a regimen. I’m not kidding; work those muscles, spiritual and corporeal. A lot is riding on how well you can limber up. Your ability to do a split by the end of May—whether you’re a ballerina or an accountant—may determine whether or not you get what you want. SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

Scorpionic moods can be dangerous—and lethal in the extreme. You can do more damage in five minutes of terrifying angst than most of us can wreak in weeks of snarling snappishness. That’s why weeks like this one, when absolutely nothing can shake the placid surface of your inner calm, are invaluable. It’s time for some hard, but rewarding, emotional labor. Don’t waste this chance to repair those bridges you’ve almost burnt to the ground and even lay the groundwork for a few new ones. Chances are, you’ll probably need them. SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

Flashbacks of childhood may dominate this week, as authority figures that are usually on the same page disagree about something important to you. It’s like those rare occasions during your youth when one of your parents gave you permission to do something you desperately wanted to do, while the other flatly forbade it. You were forced to weigh their respective clout along with your deep desire and decide whether or not you should try to get away with it. Of course, you’re wiser now, so you know what to do, don’t you? In case you’ve forgotten, here’s a reminder: It’s almost always easier to get forgiveness than permission. CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

You’re a tree whose new growth is restricted by dozens of dead branches that refuse to fall off. It’s a good week to call your best local pruner, who can help you decide what’s dead weight and what’s helping you grow. Of course, since you’re not actually an old oak, I’m referring to your relationships. Some of them are just hanging off of you and blocking sunlight, and some are nurturing you. This is a good week to decide which are which, and next week is the best time to cut off the ones that are dragging you down.

Unfortunately, you’re more likely to be changing a cranky baby’s diapers than making babies this week. Miracle of life, my ass. Your whole existence may be mired in shit, and the loveliest sound you hear all week is silence. Still, amidst all the stink and wretchedness, there should be a tiny glimmer of hope, a symbol of better things to come, like a 24-karat diamond gleaming in all that poo. Pick it out, apply a wet wipe, and grin, because this treasure is all yours. Lucky for you, babies can’t talk. CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

I dreamt you were rolling up an old carpet when you suddenly noticed a decrepit old corpse in there. You panicked; you couldn’t remember killing anyone, but who else could have? I take it to mean that you long ago swept some minor sin you’d perpetrated under the rug, and basically forgotten about it. But instead of dissolving into dust as it probably should have, it’s been festering and growing until it’s become a problem that far outsizes your original slightly evil act. You can’t just take the predicament out with the trash; it’s bound to haunt you eventually. Deal with it this week, before it gets any bigger, or reanimates.

YOGA AND JUICE CLEANSE MARCH 25TH - 27TH

LUNCHTIME YOGA MON & THURS AT NOON BY DONATION

MARCH SPECIAL:

10 CLASSES FOR $110 RENTAL SPACE AVAILABLE 1995 Main St. • 2nd Floor • Wailuku

808.359.1060

www.bodyaliveyoga.com

VOTED BEST

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AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

Your scapegoating talents are at their peak, which is fortunate, because you’re going to need them to avoid getting nailed for a variety of mistakes that, in others’ minds, could conceivably be your fault (although only some of them actually are). So it’s good that you have this talent for discreetly misdirecting reproachful attention. Use it if you wish; you’re almost certain to get away with it, without a hitch. But you do have another option, one that’s bound to earn you some good karma: Take the fall, whether or not you deserve it. The guilty parties (and the universe) will know you did. I guarantee, you’ll be paid back and then some.

Aquarians are rarely atheistic, but they’re even more unlikely to be fervently religious. Instead, you take your spirituality like you take most things: in moderation. This week’s developments, however, may make you a temporary convert to zealotry as you force yourself to rapidly develop or explore your ideas regarding, say, the existence and specifics of an afterlife, or, you know, the overriding meaning and purpose of your life. These are important questions, but please, don’t dissolve into helpless existentialist depression when you fail to answer them according to your arbitrary timetable. Greater minds than yours have struggled with the same internal debate. You’ll have the answers you crave, in good time. Just be patient.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

Reckless, you’re not. Even at your wildest (which can, admittedly, be very wild) you’re more responsible than most other signs. Still, I advise you to throw caution to the winds this week. Your creative juices have dried up a little, and even though that makes the fruits of your labors all the more sweet, like raisins, you’d benefit from a floodlike incursion of new energy—and the only way to break some of the inner dikes you’ve built to keep you rigidly on course is to really lose control, even for a little while. Be irresponsible! Wreak havoc! You’re more than capable of repairing the minor damage you might inflict, and besides, considering all the

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

Jesus, make up your mind. You’re more fickle than a twelve-year-old girl this week. Unfortunately, unlike those moody little preteens, your whims have the heft and authority to command action—action you might lament later, when you come to your senses, or in five minutes, when you lose them again. Don’t make anything happen that you didn’t decide on last week, until at least next week, when you inner child will stop regressing and just grow up. To contact Caeriel send mail to sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

MARCH 20, 2014 29


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