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RISE OF THE PARKING
MACHINES WILL 2015 BE THE YEAR PARKING METERS COME TO CROWNING MS. MEDICARE
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JANUARY 8, 2015
Contents
DIRTY DOG? WE CAN HELP!
YOUR SCION NO HAGGLE, NO HASSLE.
VOLUME 18 ✚ ISSUE 30
THIS WEEK’S QUESTION:
ON THE COVER:
Who’s your favorite detective?
Culinary, Lifestyle & Business Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Sergeant Suzanne “Pepper” Anderson Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Sam Spade Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com Scooby Doo Graphic Designer: Shane Fontanilla Inspector Gadget Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Magnum P.I. Contributors: Jenn Brown (Danny Reagan), Caeriel Crestin, Soleil De Zwart, Suzanne Kayian, Andrew Miller, Alex Mitchell, Ron Pitts, Marina Satoafaiga, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II, Dayna Yamasaki Admin. Executive: Sarah Gerlach (808) 244-0777 Kojak (but only if Vin Diesel gets to play him) Proofreader: Dina Wilson
Rise of the Parking Machines
MACHINES
Cover Design By: Darris Hurst
PARKING
WILL 2015 BE THE YEAR PARKING METERS COME TO
WAILUKU TOWN? CROWNING MS. MEDICARE
4 10 13 15 17 19 21 22 23 28 29 31
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MAUITIME.COM IS BACK
Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter The Dude
RISE OF THE
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Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Encyclopedia Brown
January 8, 2015 ✚ Volume 18 ✚ Issue 30 ✚ FREE
NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY FOOD & DRINK A&E THIS WEEK’S PICKS FILM CRITIQUE FILM TIMES DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID CLASSIFIED HOROSCOPE MIND, BODY & SPIRIT
MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2015 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime. MauiTime 16 S. Market St., Ste. 2K, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime
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News & Views
by Anthony Pignataro
QUIZ understood once again won the “Distinguished Budget” award from the Government Finance Officers Association of the United States and Canada. According to the county, how many times has it won this award? A. 12 times B. 17 times C. 22 times D. 26 times E. 31 times
MAUI NEWS WITH
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PHOTO COURTESY WIKIMEDIA COMMONS
FLAVOR
3. Because of bad weather, Alexan1. On Jan. 2, Maui Brewing Company released a new beer called Lorenzini Double IPA. According to the company, the beer is named for a part of a shark’s anatomy. Which part? A. The fin B. The electro sensory organ C. The eyes D. The olfactory sensory organ E. The tail
der & Baldwin’s sugar-growing operation is posting higher than anticipated operating losses, Pacific Business News reported on Jan. 2. What will be the company’s 2014 agribusiness operating loss? A. $6-9 million B. $7.5-10.5 million C. $9-10 million D. $10-11 million E. $11-12.5 million
2. At the end of December 2014, the County of Maui announced that it had
See answers, page 29
Dear MauiTime Readers: I, your friendly neighborhood Art Director, am in need of some insane design talent. Have you mastered Indesign? Do you rock the socks off Photoshop? Do you take Illustrator out to dinner and then skip out on the bill? If so, then email me. I can use your muscle. Love, Your MauiTime Art Director Send your resume and 3 design samples to:
artdirector@mauitime.com WALK-INS NOT ACCEPTED. MUST KNOW INDESIGN WELL. 4
JANUARY 8, 2015
News & Views
by Anthony Pignataro
PHOTO COURTESY COUNTY OF MAUI
Coconut Wireless
New boss
The new year brought entirely new Maui County Council leadership–exactly what was predicted shortly after the November 2014 election. Mike White is the new Council Chairman and Don Guzman is the new Vice Chairman. “I look forward to working with a great team in crafting quality legislation for the next two years,” said White at his Jan. 2 swearing-in, according to a county news release sent out that same day. “I will work hard to guide council operations and facilitate a healthy working relationship among members and with the administration.” White, who also works as the General Manager of the Ka‘anapali Beach Hotel, had no shortage of high hopes and promises during his swearing-in. “We are ready to work and deliver results,” White said, according to the news release. “I pledge to you that we will be straight with you, we will communicate openly with you, we will be positive and helpful, and we will be responsible with your money. Most important, we will do what is pono!” And apparently for White, doing “what is pono” means positioning himself for a lot of power. Sure, Councilman Riki Hokama is taking over as Chairman of the Budget Committee–one of the council’s most powerful committees. But since July 2014, Hokama has also served as President of the National Association of Counties–a job that two people with considerable knowledge of Maui County Council operations told me requires a great deal of work and responsibility from Hokama. That means Hokama may miss a Budget Committee meeting or two (or more). Guess who got installed as Budget Committee Vice Chairman? Mike White! In his Jan. 4 Maui News op-ed on his new “council team,” White mentions that Hokama is the National Association of Counties President, while neatly sidestepping the work requirements of the job: “His experience and knowledge will
MAUI NEWS LOSES PARADE MAGAZINE For Maui News readers who can’t wait for Sundays so they can read Parade Magazine, which has been included as an insert in the paper (and hundreds of others around the county) for many years, last weekend held great disappointment. That’s because Athlon Media Group (AMG), which purchased Parade a few months ago, has decided to stop circulating the mag with smaller, regional papers like The Maui News. “Sunday magazine Parade has informed The Maui News that it will no longer be available to the newspaper,” the paper reported on Dec. 30. “An appeal of the decision was denied by AMG.” Until these cutbacks, Parade was included in 700 newspapers. According to Wikipedia, which cited circulation figures from January 2014, Parade is the “most widely read magazine in the U.S.” Their circulation at that time was an astounding 32 million. Still, this consolidation isn’t a surprise. On Dec. 11, The New York Times reported that Athlon was going to reduce “the rate base–the circulation of Parade guaranteed to advertisers–to 22 million from 32 million through measures like concentrating distribution in larger, urban markets.” “Ad rates for Parade, costly for print media, are also being reduced; for in-
stance, a common type of ad known as a one-time, four-color page will fall to $667,165 from $924,209,” The New York Times reported. “And the editorial content of Parade and parade.com will be concentrated on subjects like celebrities, entertainment, food and health.” Other regional papers that have reported losing Parade include The Rocky Mount Telegram and the Owatonna People’s Press. The final Parade issue for Maui News readers came out on Dec. 28. Given that the issue’s cover story (such as it was) was just a gathering of brainless fluff about Ryan Seacrest, it would seem that Athlon’s decision to pull out is actually a win for Maui News readers. “I’m a huge believer in content, bringing content to relevant audiences,” Athlon President and CEO Chuck Allen told The New York Times. It’s just that audiences in places like Maui County aren’t relevant to him anymore.
MORE MECO POWER OUTAGES So that was some storm we had Friday night. Given that it was just a storm–not even close to a hurricane–what amazed me was that nearly 20,000 people lost power. And many lost power for days. Here’s the first paragraph of a Maui Electric Company (MECO) news release that went out on Jan. 4: “Throughout today, Maui Electric crews continued restoration efforts in various parts of Maui when strong storm winds brought down numerous trees and debris onto electrical lines and wreaked havoc on Maui’s electrical system on Friday evening,” stated the news release. “Currently, less than 10% of the initial 19,588 cus-
Overheard “Twenty bucks to watch a movie for two hours is ridiculous. You can get better rates from a prostitute.” -Man talking to woman at Queen Ka’ahumanu Center, Jan. 3
tomers who were affected by the stormrelated outages remain without power in pockets of Maui, including remote areas of Upcountry and East Maui.” Remember, the storm hit on Jan. 2. That means many people Upcountry and in Hana had to go without power all weekend. Which, of course, MECO crews set about attempting to fix: “In Upcountry Maui, crews have been working nearly around the clock since late Friday night and into this evening in various areas, including the Piiholo and Olinda area, to bring customers back online,” stated the MECO press release. “Crews are replacing
PHOTO COURTESY SEAN M HOWER
NEW COUNCIL LEADERSHIP TAKES OVER
be especially valuable in guiding the annual budget session,” White wrote. For the record, former Council Chairwoman Gladys Baisa is still calling the vote to install White as Chairman a “coup.” “I’m not happy about how this has transpired,” Baisa said in the Jan. 3 Maui News. In the same article, she referred to White, Guzman and Hokama as the “leaders of this coup.”
Bad storm
and repairing numerous cracked utility poles, transformers and conductors that were extensively damaged during the storm. In some areas, crews are needing to remove large trees to access downed lines and electrical equipment as part of the restoration efforts.” This would seem to point to this weekend’s storm being some kind of freak. Yet MECO seems to lose power every time a chicken crosses the road. Seriously–power outages in Maui County, even when the weather is perfectly pleasant, seem to be completely normal. Here’s a list I put together of just the MECO outage alerts I received in December 2014: • Dec. 14: Parts of East Molokai • Dec. 16: Parts of Wailuku • Dec. 18: Lanai • Dec. 19: East end of Molokai/ Parts of Kahului • Dec. 21: Kualapuu on Molokai • Dec. 28: Entire island of Molokai • Dec. 30: East Molokai For the most part, each of those outages ended after just a few hours. But is building a reliable grid for the county really that difficult? Maybe this is just something better left to Florida-based NextEra, which will soon take over MECO and Hawaiian Electric (HECO), assuming the state Public Utilities Commission approves the merger. ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro For more news articles, visit our website at: mauitimecom
JANUARY 8, 2015
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JANUARY 8, 2015
News & Views
by Anthony Pignataro & Suzanne Kayian
MauiSphere PHOTO COURTESY HALEAKALA NATIONAL PARK
so you can’t fall over them.” Jung said the upper deck had already been cleared. “The boat was full of people–how could someone get off the boat unobserved?” Jung asked rhetorically. “He had some head injuries when he was brought on to the boat. We have had instances of people jumping off of the boat. Six months ago, a prisoner with handcuffs jumped offboard… I have great respect for the Ho‘opi‘i family. The Ho‘opi‘is have played on the boat before. My sympathies go out to the family.” The Maui Princess had passengers from Kaunakakai Harbor aboard when Ho‘opi‘i was pulled aboard. The ferry is currently taking passengers while the Molokai Princess vessel is in drydock. The Maui Princess was unable to make its return trip to Kaunakakai Harbor that evening. -Jen Russo
MAUI RESIDENT WINS MS. MEDICARE PAGEANT
Please watch out for these guys
NESTING FEMALE NENE KILLED
-Anthony Pignataro
Ramzey Ho‘opi‘i, the son of famous Hawaiian falsetto singer Richard Ho‘opi‘i, was found dead outside Lahaina Harbor on the night of Dec. 30. A passenger aboard the Maui Princess had spotted the body of a male in the Lahaina Harbor roadstead upon the ferry’s entry into port. He was pulled aboard in pouring rain and efforts were made to resuscitate him. Emergency crews boarded and attempted to revive him, but they were unsuccessful, according to a Maui Police news release sent out the next day. “Ramzey Ho‘opi‘i, 41, resident of Waihee, Maui, was found floating lifeless in the ocean outside of Lahaina Harbor,” stated the Dec. 31 MPD press release. Lifesaving measures by emergency personnel were unable to save him. An autopsy is pending. By phone, Maui Princess Captain David Jung confirmed that Ramzey Ho‘opi‘i was a passenger on the ferry going to Lahaina Harbor from Kaunakakai. “The Lanai ferry had run aground,” said Jung. “We were waiting outside the harbor for the Lanai ferry when one of the passengers saw a body floating face down. Later one of the crew recognized Ho‘opi‘i as one of the passengers. Nobody had seen him leave the vessel. Nobody saw him go over the rail.” According to Jung, the crew immediately did CPR on Ho‘opi‘i. But Ho‘opi‘i was pronounced dead in the ambulance after about 30 minutes. “How he was able to get up and over the rail we can only speculate,” said Jung. “The weather was rough. Crew members that had seen Hoopii earlier said he did not look seasick or woozy. The railings are high
-Suzanne Kayian ■ editor@mauitime.com For more news articles, visit our website at: mauitimecom
PHOTO BY PAUL HAYASHI
Because the nene is endangered, the death of even one bird in Haleakala National Park due to careless driving is too many. But on Dec. 26, a driver accidentally killed a nesting female, which is much, much worse. The accident happened on the downhill side of the park road near Headquarters Visitor Center, according to a Dec. 29 Haleakala National Park news release. Park officials were able to determine that the bird was nesting because it “had a brood patch (featherless area on its underside used to transfer heat to eggs).” The whereabouts of the bird’s nest remain unknown. “The eggs now have a much lower chance of survival,” said Pauline Angelakis, the park’s chief of interpretation, in that news release. “The loss of one nene affects generations. Driving slowly and cautiously is the easiest, most significant action we can all take to protect this endangered species.” But a follow-up email sent out on the morning of Dec. 30 was far less hopeful. In fact, Angelakis now says that the eggs are most likely doomed. “The eggs in the nest *will die* due to the death of this nene,” Pauline Angelakis wrote in a follow-up email. “Only the female incubates the eggs. Even if we find the nest there are no facilities on Maui that could incubate the eggs. There are typically 2-5 eggs per nest.” Angelakis’ news releases stated that this is the first nene killed during the 20142015 nesting season. Inattentive drivers killed four and six nene, respectively, during the two previous nesting seasons.
RICHARD HO‘OPI‘I’S SON FOUND DEAD OUTSIDE LAHAINA HARBOR
Maui’s Terri Rainey was named Ms. Dual Medi-Medi at the inaugural Ms. Medicare Pageant, which was held on Oahu on Dec. 20 and was open to contestants ages 60 to 85. Rainey (67) was Maui’s only title winner. Laure Bachran (85) from Kaneohe won Ms. Original Medicare; Fay Rawles-Schoch (70) from Kaneohe was named Ms. Medicare Advantage; and Eda Daniel (61) won the Ms. Medi-Gap title. The pageant took place at the Pacific Beach Hotel in Honolulu. As part of the competition, contestants participated in a personal interview with four judges. Onstage competition included modeling Hawaiian wear, which was provided by Hilo Hattie’s; a talent contest; modeling evening wear; and answering a live question about Medicare. The inaugural pageant is believed to be the first of its kind in Hawaii, according to an event spokesperson. The judges said they learned about Medicare as they talked to each contestant, which was the purpose of the pageant. “I was so honored to be part of this for Maui,” said Rainey, aka
Coach Rainey, in a Dec. 22 email. “Let’s share and educate our Medicare Ohana.” The Medicare Pageant was founded by KHNR 690 radio host Martha Khlopiin. The pageant was sponsored by Get2Insurance.com and produced by Ann Mata of Pageant Productions. Organizers said in a Dec. 22 press release that they want this initial project to grow into a much larger event in years to come. They also want the pageant to be a reminder that qualifying for Medicare due to age or disability does not diminish an individual’s vitality, relevance, or contribution to their family, community or society. Organizers plan to promote accessibility and education and expand their reach by sending the pageant winners across the islands to inform, educate and promote free, workshops and online learning tools– reaching 283,000 people in Hawaii with Medicare and their families.
Terri Rainey
JANUARY 8, 2015
7
by Chuck Shepard
News & Views
News Of The Weird ANNALS OF INJUSTICE
MAUI NEWS WITH MAUITIME FLAVOR
.com
THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO ILLUSTRATE A MAUITIME COVER? Issue 06 ✚ FREE July 26, 2012 ✚ Volume 16 ✚
Richard Rosario is in year 18 of a 25-to-life sentence for murder, even though 13 alibi witnesses have tried to tell authorities that he was with them–1,000 miles away–at the time of the crime. (Among the 13 are a sheriff’s deputy, a pastor and a federal corrections officer.) The “evidence” against him: Two “eyewitnesses” in New York City had picked him out of a mugshot book. Rosario had given police names, addresses and phone numbers of the 13 people in Florida, but so far, everyone (except NBC’s Dateline) has ignored the list, including Rosario’s court-appointed lawyers. As is often the case, appeals court judges (state and federal) have trusted the eyewitnesses and the “process.” (In November, Dateline located nine of the 13, who are still positive Rosario was in Deltona, Florida, on the day of the murder.)
QUESTIONABLE JUDGMENT Pastor Walter Houston of the Fourth Missionary Church in Houston repeatedly refused in November to conduct a funeral for longtime member Olivia Blair, who died recently at age 93–because she had come upon hard times in the last 10 years and had not paid her tithe. Ms. Blair’s family had supported the church for 50 years, but Pastor Houston was defiant, explaining, “Membership has its privileges.” The family found another church for the funeral.
MAYBE SWAT JUST NEEDED HAIRCUTS
Big
Waste
Large capacity cesspools became illegal seven years ago, but the EPA only recently discovered that the Kihei Marketplace has one. Even if you don’t have one, here’s why this should worry you. PG. 10
K PG.5 RK YOU WORK D WHILE YOU LAND L TAL T COUNTY TALKS PG.13 A SEVEN YEARS CE CELEBRA L CELEBRATES GRILL GRI GR LL P PINEAPPLE August 16, 2012 ✚ Volume 16 ✚ Issue 09 REVIEW PG.19 LM RE S FILM T RISES HT
KNIGHT AR KNIG THE DARK
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Sharing Aloha Through Music
A U.S. Appeals Court once again in September instructed government agencies that it’s unconstitutional to make routine businessinspection raids without a judicial warrant. “We hope that the third time will be the charm,” wrote Judge Robin Rosenbaum. In the present case, the court denounced the fulldress SWAT raid in 2010 of the Strictly Skillz barbershop in Orange County, Florida, for “barbering” without a license. All certificates were found to be up-to-date, and in fact, the raiding agency had verified the licenses in a walk-through two days before.
THE CONTINUING CRISIS
Inside this weekend’s free second
annual Lanai Slack Key Festival
We are always looking for talented local artists to help create select cover designs throughout the year.
Cornelius Jefferson, 33, was arrested for assaulting a woman in Laurel County, Kentucky, in October after he had moved there from Georgia to be with her following an online relationship. Jefferson explained that he was frustrated that the woman was not “like she was on the Internet.” And in November, an unnamed groom in Medina, Saudi Arabia, leaped to his feet at the close of the wedding, shocked at his first glimpse of his new bride with her veil pulled back. Said he (according to the daily Okaz), “You are not the girl I had imagined. I am sorry, but I divorce you.”
THIS WEEK IN OWL RECOVERY Email your design samples to:
artdirector@mauitime.com WALK-INS WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED.
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JANUARY 8, 2015
The recovery rate is about 70 percent for the 1,200 injured birds brought for treatment each year to the Brinzal owl-rescue park near Madrid, Spain–with acupuncture as the
center’s specialty treatment. Brinzal provides “physical and psychological rehabilitation” so that eagle owls, tawny owls and the rest can return to the wild, avoiding predators by being taught, through recordings of various wild screeches, which animals are enemies. But the signature therapy remains the 10 weekly pressure-point sessions of acupuncture.
SUSPICIONS CONFIRMED Even though one state requires 400 hours’ training just to become a professional manicurist, for instance, most states do not demand nearly such effort to become armed security guards, according to a CNN/Center for Investigative Reporting analysis released in December. Fifteen states require no firearms training at all; 46 ignore mental health status; nine do not check the FBI’s criminal background database; and 27 states fail to ascertain whether an applicant is banned by federal law from even carrying a gun. (After an ugly incident in Arizona in which a juvenile gun offender was hired as a guard, the state added a box on its form for applicants to “self-report” the federal ban–but still refuses to use the FBI database.)
HOLLYWOOD, FLORIDA SOUNDS LIKE A FUN TOWN Two high-ranking Hollywood, Florida, police officers were absolved of criminal wrongdoing recently even though they had intentionally deleted their colleagues’ names from Internal Affairs investigative records. Assistant Chief Ken Haberland and Maj. Norris Redding somehow convinced prosecutors that they were unaware the files were “public records” that should not be altered. The two are still subject to fines and restitution, but have been returned to administrative duty.
IRONIES In October, Reynolds American Inc., whose iconic product is Camel cigarettes, announced it would ban employees at its North Carolina headquarters from smoking in the offices, relegating them to special smokers’ rooms. (Critics of the company noted that Reynolds has for years staunchly denied that “secondary smoke” is dangerous.) And in September, Guinter Kahn, the South Florida dermatologist who developed minoxidil (the hair-restoring ingredient in Rogaine), passed away at age 80. Dr. Kahn himself had noticeable hair loss, but was allergic to minoxidil.
CRY FOR HELP Calvin Nicol, 31, complained that he was obviously the victim of a “hate crime” when thugs beat him up in Ottawa, Ontario, on Nov. 1– just because he is intensely tattooed and pierced, with black-inked eyes, a split tongue and implanted silicone horns on his forehead. Though “hate” may have been involved, so far “body modification” is not usually covered in anti-discrimination laws. But Nicol suggested one legal angle when he explained that “piercing myself and changing my appearance, and making me look like the person I want to look like is almost a religious experience to me.”■
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Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 16 S. Market St, Ste. 2K, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to
ehbrah@mauitime.com
T
his is a message to that tall, thin, blonde wouldbe thief who snatched the lady’s purse in Costco parking lot. I’m the man who kept you from being successful with your crime. Was it really necessary to cut me up like you did? You’re a coward and a thief whose days on the street will be over soon. Do us all a favor and buy yourself a rope and hang yourself. Or just get off the island. You will be very lucky if the Maui PD finds you before I do. ■
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RISE OF THE PARKING
MACHINES WILL 2015 BE THE YEAR PARKING METERS COME TO
WAILUKU TOWN? By Anthony Pignataro
W
hen the great history of Maui in the 21st century is written, the year 2015 will go down as the beginning of the Post-Taguma era. Residents–especially those who live and work in Wailuku Town–have been celebrating the retirement of Maui Police Officer Keith Taguma for weeks now. Each year for the past three decades, Taguma’s inhuman work ethic and singular dedication to writing parking tickets–something like 7,000 a year, on average, which was more than any PD district–struck terror into our collective hearts. Celebrate while you can people, because the Law of Unintended Consequences will soon play havoc with Maui. Nature abhors a vacuum, Aristotle said, and the world of parking logistics is no different. As it stands now, parking in Wailuku–if you can find it–is free. There are no meters or even pay lots. But for the last few months, the Maui Redevelopment Agency (MRA) has been working on changing all that. Taguma’s exit lays bare Wailuku’s dirty little secret on parking: for decades now, the town’s great plan to
10 JANUARY 8, 2015
deal with parking was called Keith Taguma. He rode out into town nearly every workday, first on his little golf-cart like Interceptor and later aboard his Harley Davidson Motor Trike, and kept local residents and workers on their toes. Doing so kept people from abusing the town’s myriad free parking spaces–some 12-hour, but mostly two-hour. With Taguma retired, that plan is no longer possible. And that has county officials thinking the time is right to come up with a new parking plan that more closely resembles those used by Mainland cities. Of course, parking meters have popped up before in county reports and MRA meetings. But with Taguma gone, there’s a new intensity in officials’ desire to act. “It makes it more imperative for businesses,” county planner Erin Wade, who advises the MRA, told me last week when I asked her about Taguma’s retirement. “There’s no longer a professional out there with everyone’s license plates memorized. It’s going to have a huge impact, I expect.” The fear is that without Taguma ruthlessly ticketing people for leaving their cars in spaces for even a few minutes beyond two hours, finding a parking place in Wailuku Town will become even more difficult.
There’s also the possibility about opening a new revenue stream (all those parking fines we paid because of Taguma went to the state, not the county). So county planners are thinking about a variety of new measures–including parking meters, which could come to Wailuku possibly as early as this summer. In October 2010, Progressive Urban Management Associates (PUMA) released its Wailuku Redevelopment Area Market-Based Plan. In it, paid parking plays a vital role in the continuing redevelopment of Wailuku Town. “Parking in downtown Wailuku is a barrier to its commercial viability,” states the PUMA report. “Consumers view the lack of convenient parking as an impediment to visitation. Business owners cite a shortage of both employee and customer parking options. County and State employees regularly compete each morning to park in the limited number of long term [12-hour] spaces.” As part of their report, PUMA conducted a
PHOTO BY LUIZ EDUARDO / WIKIMEDIA COMMONS
Do these lie in Maui’s future?
management solution,” the report states. Both the 2010 and 2013 reports also recommended converting the 12-hour spaces in the county’s Municipal Parking Lot to paid parking. “A nominal parking fee could help generate revenue to help pay for parking improvements and create more parking availability for shortterm needs,” states the 2010 report. The 2013 report also made clear that the county must improve the Municipal Lot’s condition. Right now, the asphalt that covers the lot is pitted and deformed with about 37 million cracks. “The physical condition of the Municipal Lot has worsened considerably to the point of becoming a serious liability risk for the county,” states the 2013 Wailuku Town Parking Study. “We cannot stress enough the poor condition of the lot and the potential liability it presents if left in its current state of disrepair.” The study further calls for a lot of work to redo the lot entirely. “Considering the degree of physical deterioration, we believe the lot needs to be completely demolished and re-paved, to include removal of interior curbing and tree pits,” states the study. Last week I spoke with Andrew Miller, who wrote the 2013 study. He said he hasn’t been on Maui since 2011, and asked if any repairs had been done to the lot. I told him no. “If they had been charging some nominal revenues, maybe they would have had money to fix the darn thing,” he told me. “If anything, I’m frustrated. I get enormous satisfaction helping a community solve a problem. Unfortunately, that’s not the case in Maui County right now. Maui is a very special place, don’t get me wrong. But it’s still an American town, not different from other urbanized areas.” If you’re wondering why the county should fix up the Municipal Lot–the site of the proposed large parking garage that county officials have been talking up for the last decade–don’t worry. It hasn’t been well publicized, but that big garage plan–which even at one time included commercial development–is dead. Well, mostly dead. “The previously proposed parking structure plan for the Municipal Lot appears to have evolved into something that was larger and more costly than the local community could support and it has been withdrawn from consideration,” states the 2013 parking report. “We believe a
PHOTO BY DAYOFGLORY / DEVIANT ART
community survey of 1,011 residents’ views on paying for parking where it was once free. According to the report, “about half of survey respondents said they were willing to pay a nominal parking fee for short term parking use,” though the actual survey results included in the back of the report don’t exactly show that. The actual survey question began with the statement “I would be willing to pay a nominal fee (up to $1 per hour) to park closer to my destination.” Respondents were then asked whether they agree, strongly agree, disagree, strongly disagree or hold no opinion on the statement. The results show that 37 percent (which is closer to a third than “about half”) of those surveyed agreed or strongly agreed that they would pay a “nominal” parking fee, but 41.1 percent disagreed or strongly disagreed with paid parking in Wailuku Town (22 percent held no opinion). Three years later, the Wailuku Town Parking Study And Parking Management Plan Analysis, prepared by Andrew Miller of Michigan-based Downtown Parking & Planning Associates (which Wade said was updated this spring), consultants used Taguma (though without naming him) as a jumping off point for new meters. “[B]ecause there is currently a high level of dedicated parking enforcement, we believe the meter collection rates will be high in Wailuku Town if meters are installed,” states the report. “Also, if meters or some other form of paid parking technology is deployed on-street and in the County public lots, the current enforcement operation will be more efficient resulting in a higher level of compliance and maximized parking revenues.” The 2013 report makes one point crystal clear. While the timing of implementation may vary, “our recommendations are based on the assumption that paid parking will be part of the final parking
Time never expires when the county talks parking
lower cost, smaller scale and more acceptable project should be considered for the Municipal Lot–specifically, the concept of a single-platform parking deck to be constructed over the existing surface lot. This concept could nearly double the capacity of the existing lot, and create additional parking supply in the heart of downtown for a fraction of the cost of the previous parking structure design concept.” Though the 2013 report and Wade said the county is planning for paid parking on both Wailuku streets and the municipal lot, Miller said the current business climate meant that paid street parking may not be the best solution for Wailuku Town (though he reiterated that the municipal lot should not be free). Instead, Miller said the county as a whole should implement paid parking–especially in places like Lahaina Town. “Tourists aren’t going to bat an eye spending $5 to park, but Wailuku is more locals,” Miller said. “The County could be talking millions of dollars in revenue if they do it right.” But what would paid parking actually look like? The on-street meters would likely be “credit card capable,” the 2013 study recommends, while parking in lots would be very similar to parking in Lahaina Town, with “a non-gated system using either pay-by-space or more preferably a ‘pay-bylicense plate’ multi-space meter system.” As far as parking fees are concerned, the recent report lays them out in considerable detail. “In projecting potential revenues, we assumed an on-street meter rate of $.75 per hour with a two-hour time limit for all 197 on-street spaces in the WRA [Wailuku Redevelopment Area]; and an off-street meter rate of $0.50 per hour with a four-hour time limit for the 112 short-term spaces in the County lots,” states the report. “For monthly permit parking, we assumed a fee of $35 per month.” That’s a lot of meters and a lot of income, and it’s not even taking into account the 33 parking spaces on Main Street in Wailuku because “it’s unclear at this time if the County can charge for parking on a state road.” The 2013 report also recommends hiring a “parking management firm” that would handle any pay lots. “[A] parking operating budget based upon
the revenue projections we developed and on the management fee structure proposed by the parking management firm would net the County an estimated $136,819 in parking revenues after operating expenses,” the Wailuku Town Parking Study concluded. “Net revenues should be placed in a Parking Enterprise Fund and reserved for future parking improvements and should not go to the County’s General Fund.” Good luck with that last part (the Maui County Council will ultimately decide what to do with any parking fees that come from Wailuku Town). In any case, Wade said that the parking fee figures in the report can still change. “We’ve been talking about not exceeding $.50 an hour,” she told me. Wade added that it’s also possible people who work in Wailuku Town may be able to apply for parking permits so they can avoid the fees. The same would go for people who live in residential areas that border the downtown area (places where workers sometimes park when nothing in town is open). “Vineyard Street and up High Street are problematic,” Wade said. “Though people who live there told us that they’ve mostly learned to live with it.” One of the recommendations in the Wailuku Town Parking Study was that county officials form a “parking committee,” and Wade said that’s being done now. She also said the county Planning Department is preparing a Request for Proposals for another consultant on paid parking. Eventually, the goal is to prepare a proposed ordinance that would legalize paid parking in Wailuku Town for the County Council. Wade said that the council most likely wouldn’t be able to debate such a law until after the spring budget sessions are over, which means they’d likely take it up in the late summer or early fall. “But no solution has been written in stone,” said Wade. For his part, Miller’s more pessimistic. “I’m just disappointed that nothing’s moving forward,” he said. “Nobody in a leadership position is moving it forward.”■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro For more news articles, visit our website at: mauitime.com
JANUARY 8, 2015
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Food & Drink
by Jen Russo
No-Wheat Zone Maui Sugar Shop in Lahaina offers all kinds of gluten-free sweets Thai Chef and Sale Pepe. The initial plan was to continue doing some of the existing recipes and add a few gluten-free options. Instead, they went gluten-free from the start, and established their commercial accounts, providing products to Wyndam, Hyatt and Montage. Next, they dialed in their retail bakery offerings and they were off and running. Cynthia Monteleone develops all their gluten-free recipes. “I was an athlete, I ran track in college,” she says about how she got started in gluten-free baking. “I had a strength coach who was about ‘living well.’ I’m not sure of another way to describe it. It wasn’t about getting buff. He started teaching me about the benefits of eating gluten free. He said try going a week without wheat and see how you feel. I did and of course I felt a million times better. I tried to go back to eating wheat and it didn’t work. He actually said that
Cynthia and Zane Monteleone
MAUI SUGAR SHOP 878 Front St., Lahaina 809-662-0033 Mauisugarshop.com
M
aui Sugar Shop, with its glass-filled cases of whoopee pie, cream puffs, vanilla and chocolate cupcakes, lilikoi muffins and chocolate chip cookies will definitely make you feel like a kid. The bakery has pastel green walls, French boulangerie music, shabby chic tables and chairs and trendy, colorful chalkboard menus. But there is one thing that sets Maui Sugar Shop apart from regular bakeries: there’s no wheat flour anywhere, meaning everything is gluten-free. “We are 100 percent wheat-free here,” says owner Zane Monteleone. “We use 30 different flours in the bakery for our gluten-free products. Celiacs can’t have any gluten at all. Wheat flour can go air-
gluten free cream puffs
borne so easily and taint the bakery. So it’s truly 100 percent gluten-free here.” I take a seat at one of their white wooden tables under a painting of a huge cupcake. I overhear some customers walk in. “We heard there was a gluten free treat shop around here?” one of them asks Monteleone. He confirms that they’ve found the right place and goes on to tell them about the day’s specials and most popular item. Nearly everyone walks out with a glutenfree cream puff–understandable, since they taste as irresistible as they look. “At first I thought gluten-free was a cross fit fad,” says Monteleone. “But my wife is a hardcore label reader and really into nutrition. And at Star Noodle I have definitely seen that more people are aware–they are definitely more conscious of their food. That got my brain tingling about this idea of opening a gluten-free bakery.” Monteleone opened Maui Sugar Shop with his wife Cynthia in October. They bought Maui Specialty Bakery Products, an existing bakery in Lahaina that sits between
Once a week on Sundays they bake bread and its sold out by Tuesday. My visit was also the first time I’d ever seen a Pao de Quejo, a Brazilian cheese muffin. It’s their only savory treat but might be the only one they need, it’s so good. It’s a Portuguese version of Yorkshire pudding, but with the delicious addition of cheese (without the wheat, of course). Cynthia says the cream puffs are especially popular. “The cream puffs were one of the first things that everyone loved,” says Cynthia. “Zane would take them to Star Noodle where he worked and everyone would love them. Since he had the food industry experience, he thought this might be something we should do. I really wanted to offer these to other families. There’s a demand for it because of the awareness on non-GMO, gluten-free and organic prod-
vegan whoopie around 93 percent of people have a gluten sensitivity in one way or another.” Cynthia says she loved baked goods, and was inspired to recreate sweets. She makes all her own recipes. “I wanted really cool sweets, in the way that I like to eat–organic, and no corn syrup,” says Cynthia. “I loved snowball cupcakes but there was no way I would go near one of those packaged treats. So I would make stuff inspired by those treats organic and gluten-free, and make my own marshmallow because I know you don’t need high fructose corn syrup in them (it’s just a filler). Even the colors of my baked goods are natural. I use beet juice, purple cabbage juice and they make beautiful colors.” The bakery case is loaded with cupcakes, cookies, muffins, donuts and minis. They bake lemon, chocolate, vanilla and coconut flavors–check their Facebook page for specials. Everything in the case has a regular and mini size. They also serve coffees, teas and organic lemonade.
ucts. So we decided that (a) we have a passion for this and (b) it would be a viable business. That’s how it all came about.” Zane says the lilikoi muffins are the next most popular items. He gets the lilikoi fresh from Upcountry. The Honokowai Farmers Market is where you will find their gingerbread cookies. Their hardest to find ingredient is organic butter. “I have a huge binder at home of notes, tears and my writing,” says Cynthia. “I have a new software program I’m using right now that I type the recipes in and then print them out to go into new recipe bibles here at the bakery. I have tons of recipes that I haven’t even utilized yet. I’m going in phases. We’re so lucky we have such great demand.” Maui Sugar Shop in Lahaina is open 10am to 6pm. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s website at: mauitime.com/foodanddrink
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Jboy Crispin Jan. 17, 1951 - Dec. 30, 2014 Watch my tail lights fading There ain’t a dry eye in the house There’s laughing and singing Well they’re dancing’ and drinkin’ as I left town, Gonna find my way to heaven Because I did my time in hell Wasn’t lookin’ too good But I was feelin’ real well -from “Before They Make Me Run” by Mick Jagger & Keith Richards, 1978
Jboy Crispin’s business card read Painter, Designer, Illustrator, Surfer, Mind Reader, but his talents stretched far beyond those titles. He was also a warrior, soul man, artist, sailor, prankster, savant, pirate, Indian, rebel, and proud father. The classic account of a California boy who falls in love with Maui–though true in his case– doesn’t tell the whole story. Jboy continually reinvented and reconstructed Maui lifestyle and what it meant to be an artist. His dedication to living outside the box will inspire us for generations. His artwork, graphic design, paintings, logos and tattoos are testament to our great loss. He may not be on this physical plane with us anymore, yet he’s still challenging the status quo. But his biggest contribution, and his proudest accomplishments, live on in his children: Bucky, Aurora and Sterling Crispin. Donations to assist his family can be made at Sterlingcrispin.com/Jboy. A Celebration of Life for Jboy will be held this Friday, Jan. 9 from 3-8pm at the Jodo Mission in Lahaina. The event is potluck and BYOB. Bring a dish and a cooler and celebrate Jboy’s life with his friends and family. -Jen Russo
JANUARY 8, 2015 15
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Picks
by Marina Satoafaiga
This Weeks Picks THURSDAY, JAN. 8
FRIDAY, JAN. 9 LEFTOVER SALMON – Not your average holiday fare, Leftover Salmon returns to Maui for a weekend of what should be great performances. Catch the string band on Thursday and Friday at Charley’s in Paia and on Saturday and Sunday at The Mill House in Waikapu. Originally from Boulder, the blue grass bandits are celebrating more than two decades of their own unique “slamgrass.” With original members Vince Herman and Drew Emmitt still on board, new blood has added to the group’s longevity. Leftoversalmon.com/maui2015. Photo courtesy Leftover Salmon
LAHAINA SECOND FRIDAY – Head west for Lahaina Second Friday Town Party this Friday. There are candlelight tours at the historic Baldwin Home Museum (6-8:30pm) and Wo Hing Museum, gallery fun during Friday Night Art Night and unique flavors found on restaurant row. Visitors and kama‘aina alike are welcome to enjoy champagne and live music at any participating gallery. Be sure to stop at the Lahaina Visitor Center to pick up your free Art Map and take advantage of restaurant specials. 6pm-9pm.Lahaina (Front Street); Mauifridays.com.
FRIDAY, JAN. 9 TARO PLANT SALE – Calling all taro (kalo) farmers and enthusiasts: the Maui Nui Botanical Gardens will host a Hawaiian Taro Plant Sale this Friday. They’ll have rare potted taro varieties like the ‘Ele‘ele, Mana, Lehua, Manini, Lauloa, Piko and ‘Ula‘ula families available for purchase. Supplied are limited, so get there early. 9am. Maui Nui Botanical Gardens (150 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului); 808-2492798, Mnbg.org. Photo: Wikimedia Commons
WARREN MILLER’S ‘NO TURNING BACK’ – No Turning Back is an exhilarating adventure from Warren Miller. You can catch it this Friday during the Maui Arts & Cultural Center’s Starry Night Cinema. Consider it an homage to a mountain man’s journey over the past six decades. The film compiles footage of Miller’s travel adventures to Greece, Japan, Switzerland and Alaska. It showcases gorgeous scenery, dramatic sports action and travel adventure. Come early with your blankets and low-laying chairs for keiki-friendly activities. Food and snacks will be available for purchase. Free. 5pm gates open/ 6:30pm movie begins. Maui Arts and Cultural Center (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, Mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy the MACC
FRIDAY, JAN. 9
SATURDAY, JAN. 10 VOLUNTEERING ON VACATION – Carve out four hours from your life and give back to a local effort this Friday with Pacific Whale Foundation. In partnership with the Hawaiian Islands Land Trust, Scott Fisher will lead volunteers during the removal of invasive species and clear brush from the North Shore coast. Learn a little Maui history while giving back during PWF’s Volunteer on Vacation series. Volunteers are encouraged to bring water, sunscreen and closed-toe shoes. Volunteers must RSVP. 8amnoon. 808-249-8811, Pacificwhale.org. Photo courtesy PWF
FREE MASSAGE FOR SENIORS – This Saturday, Maui School of Therapeutic Massage students will be offering free 15-minute massages for senior citizens, 65 years and older. The mini sessions double as an opportunity for students to gain field time while offering seniors stress and ache relief. Residents of the Hale Mahaolu Senior Center have priority seating. Nonresidents’ suggested arrival time is after 11am. 9am1pm. Hale Mahaolu Elua Senior Center (200 Hina Ave., Kahului), Halemahaolu.org. Photo: Wikimedia Commons
SATURDAY, JAN. 10 GROW SOME GOOD COMMUNITY GARDEN – Grow Some Good is inviting the public for a day of service at Kihei Elementary School’s garden. This Saturday, the “work and learn” project will gather students, teachers and volunteers to care for the school garden. Everyone is also encouraged to bring their own gardening questions and personal insight. Volunteers are urged to wear sun-protective clothing and bring a dish to share during the Garden Ohana Potluck Picnic. 8:30-11:30am. Kihei Elementary School (200 E. Lipoa St., Kihei), Growsomegood.org. Photo courtesy GSG
HARRY MANX – Canadian-born musician Harry Manx will stop on Maui this Saturday as part of his “Om Suite Ohm” Aloha Tour. Musically, Manx stands at the intersection of blues and Hindustani. With his Mohan Veena, lap steel, harmonica, stomp box and banjo, he makes warm vocals and beautiful melodies. $35-$40. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului), Mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy the MACC
SATURDAY, S SA TURDAY, JJAN. 10 WILLIE K’S BBQ BLUES FEST – Uncle Willie K’s Blues Fest 2015 happens this Saturday at W War Memorial. The evening performances will include Willie K, Billy Gibbons, Taj Mah Mahal, Mick Fleetwood, Nick-I of Common Sense, Kings of Spade, Yoza, the Deborah Deb Vial Band and the Warehouse Blues Band. There will also be live painting by Wyland, food booths and special guests. $40 presale/ $50 door ($10 for kids 5-11). 3-10pm. War Memorial Soccer Field (Ka’ahumanu Ave., W Wailuku), Facebook.com/WilliekBluesFest. Photo: Sean M. Hower
‘CELEBRATION OF HAWAII’ – Viewpoints Gallery kicks off its 10th annual ‘Celebration of Hawaii’ this Saturday. It’s complete with a traditional Hawaiian blessing and performances by Kumu Hula Gordean Bailey and her Halau Wehiwehi O Leilehua. The exhibit pays homage to our island home by featuring pieces inspired by Hawaiian culture. The annual exhibit attracts collectors from around the world, who are on the hunt for oil, acrylic, pastel, watercolor, wood and kapa pieces. Free. 4:30pm. Viewpoints Gallery (3620 Baldwin Ave., Makawao), Viewpointsgallerymaui.com. Photo: Kirk Kurokawa
SATURDAY, JAN. 10 HOPE ON WHEELS 5K – The Hyundai Hope on Wheels 5K run/walk returns to Ka‘anapali this Saturday. A part of the Hyundai Tournament of Champions PGA Tour, the event takes participants through Ka‘anapali Parkway and Keka‘a Road, beginning and ending in front of Whalers Village. Grab your whole ohana–including the family dog!–for a morning of fun under the sun. Proceeds will benefit the Kapiolani Medical Center for Women and Children. Individual and team categories are available. $20-200. 7:30am. Whalers Village (2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy.), Hyundairun4hope.org. Photo courtesy Hope on Wheels Facebook page
TUESDAY, JAN. 13 SCHAEFER PORTRAIT CHALLENGE – A fascinating exhibit that has been featured at the Schaefer Gallery since 2003, the Schaefer Portrait Challenge 2015 opens this Tuesday. A statewide juried competition, the exhibit includes 66 works by 64 artists from Oahu, Kauai, Lanai, Big Island and Maui. Artists were encouraged to depict the people and stories of our islands through explorations in portraiture. Free. Tuesday to Sunday 10am-5pm. Schaefer International Gallery (One Cameron Way, Kahului), Mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy the MACC
SUNDAY, JAN. 11 KEIKI COOKING CLASS – If you’ve got a budding Masterchef Junior contestant at home, check this out: Keiki six years and older are invited for a cooking class at Whole Foods. Start your new year with healthy recipes any keiki can help prepare. Space is limited and RSVP is required. Free. 2-3pm. Whole Foods Market (70 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului), Wholefoodsmarket. com. Photo: Wikimedia Commons
WEDNESDAY, JAN. 14 CHOP SUEY JAZZ ORCHESTRA – The 19-piece Chop Suey Jazz Orchestra will put on a concert at the Makawao Public Library this Wednesday. They’re known for upbeat, contemporaryy big band Jazz arrangements, so the whole family is invited to listen. Young children must be accompanied by a parent or caregiver. Request special accommodations ahead of time. Free. 6:30pm. Makawao Public Library (1159 Makawao Ave.); 808-573-8785. Photo by Dominique Chappard
JANUARY 8, 2015 17
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18 JANUARY 8, 2015
Film
by Barry Wurst II
What's Up, Doc? Paul Thomas Anderson’s ‘Inherent Vice’ is really confusing but really groovy ★★★★★ Rated R/ 148 Min.
I
f Inherent Vice were set in the 1940s, it would likely begin with its detective protagonist sitting at his desk, taking a swig of Jack Daniels, ogling the young woman entering his office and stating in a voice over, “I’ll never forget the day she walked into my life.” But since Paul Thomas Anderson’s new film is set in 1970, awash in color and period accuracy, we meet our “hero,” Doc Sportello (Joaquin Phoenix) laying on his couch, ogling his girlfriend and high as a kite. Based on Thomas Pynchon’s novel and featuring a cast as prestigious as the man directing them, this deadpan comedy/mystery is cool and very funny, despite a plot that’s nearly impossible to follow. I’ve seen the film twice, enjoyed it both times but still can’t follow who everyone is and how they’re all connected. Two of my favorite California-set mysteries, Chinatown and its underrated sequel The Two Jakes, both written by Robert Towne, have a similar issue: they’re engrossing and incredibly entertain-
ing with performances you can’t take your eyes off. The problem is that if you can’t keep track of the character names and who’s portraying who, you’ll get lost quickly. The central mystery involves a disappearance, though it quickly grows into something larger, unveiling a massive conspiracy and oodles of criminal activity. Sportello is persistent and sharp for a man constantly getting stoned. He surrounds himself with a colorful assortment of associates on both sides of the law. His best friend and occasional nemesis is a straight-arrow cop who’s also a TV actor. He goes by “Bigfoot” and is played by Josh Brolin, in a fantastic comic turn. The scene of Brolin ordering pancakes in a Japanese restaurant will likely be quoted for years to come. Sportello has an on-again-off-again girlfriend who’s a Deputy District Attorney. She’s played by Reese Witherspoon, who’s good but out of place and doesn’t reignite the chemistry she shared with Phoenix in Walk the Line. Far better is Jena Malone, memorable in her one scene involving the origin of her fake dentures. Then there’s Martin Short, terrific in his 10-minute scene as an impossibly sleazy monster. Benicio Del Toro is wonderful as Sportello’s oddball lawyer and Katherine Wa-
It was never like this in True Detective
terston (Sam’s daughter), playing Sportello’s romantic obsession and the film’s central femme fatale, has the film’s most erotic scene. It took two views for me to realize that the film’s narrator, played by Joanna Newsom, is meant to represent the hazy 1970 mindset of California as a whole. Her character drifts in and out of focus but we almost always hear her commentary. Anderson’s direction is restrained here, knowing when to go in for a slow close-up and lean in on a great performance. Otherwise, the emphasis isn’t on style but atmosphere. The period setting recreates a time when everyone was afraid of Charles Manson, illegal drugs were as commonplace as casual sex and phrases like “ya dig” were a part of casual conversation. The film has the same laid back energy, loopy tone and stoner logic as The Big Lebowski, minus the psychedelic visuals.
The screenplay is overstuffed with hilarious one-liners but episodic, with moments that add flavor but don’t seem to add up to the whole. It’s hip but such a detached, dialogue-driven, convoluted and attitude-heavy mood piece, some may check out early. That’d be a shame for film lovers, as this picks up steam (and gusts of pot smoke), delivers one quotable line after another and offers a gallery of great actors in top form. Phoenix does something special here, diving into a character both haunted and farcical. Brolin is playing a similarly goofy but tortured figure and shares many great moments with Phoenix. Every actor has opportunities to shine, though the absurd, increasingly dense screenplay doesn’t build to a fully satisfying payoff. Patient, attentive viewers willing to just go with it may dig it. Make no question, The Dude Still Abides. ■
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20 JANUARY 8, 2015
by Alex Mitchell
Film
Showtimes KA‘AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka‘ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului. 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) The Imitation Game-PG13- THU 12:00 2:30 5:00 7:30 10:00, FRI-SAT 11:30 2:00 4:30 7:00 9:35, SUN-THU 12:00 2:35 5:10 7:40 Feng Shui-NR- FRI-SAT 12:00 2:25 4:50 7:20 9:45, SUN-THU 12:00 2:25 4:50 7:20 Night At The Museum-PG-THU 12:10 2:30 5:00 7:25 9:40, FRI-THU 12:25 2:45 5:00 7:25 9:40 The Gambler-R- THU 12:20 2:45 5:10 7:35 10:00, FRI-SAT 12:20 2:45 5:10 7:35 10:00, SUN- 12:20 2:45 5:10 7:35 Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies-PG13THU 12:15 3:45 7:00 10:10, FRI-SAT 12:15 3:20 7:00 10:10, SUN-THU 12:15 3:20 7:00
Selma-PG13- FRI (10:40 1:10 4:40) 7:10 10:40, SAT-SUN (10:40 1:10) 4:40 7:10 10:40, MON-THU (12:50 4:30) 7:10 10:40
10:10, SAT (10:30 12:30) 4:00 7:00 10:10, SUN (10:30 12:30) 3:30 7:00 10:10, MON-WED (12:10 3:50) 7:00 10:10, THU (12:10 3:50) 7:00 10:15
Horrible Bosses 2-R- THU 10:00 3:50 10:20
Unbroken-PG13- THU 10:00 10:30 12:40 1:00 3:30 4:20 6:50 7:20 9:40 10:10, FRI (10:10 12:40 4:20) 6:40 10:00, SAT-SUN (10:10 12:40) 4:20 6:40 10:00, MON-THU (12:20 4:10) 6:40 10:00
Wild-NR- THU 10:20 12:50 4:00 6:50 10:40, FRI (10:00 1:20 4:10) 6:50 9:40, SAT (10:00 1:20) 4:10 6:50 9:40, SUN (10:00 2:00) 4:10 6:50 9:40, MONTHU (1:00 4:00) 6:50 9:40
WHARF CINEMA CENTER
Annie-PG- THU 10:30 12:50 4:10 7:10 10:00, FRI (10:20 1:10 4:00) 6:50 9:50, SAT (10:20 1:10) 4:00 6:50 9:50, SUN (1:10) 9:50, MON-TUE (12:50 3:50) 6:50 9:50, WED (12:50 3:50) 9:50, THU (12:50 3:50) 6:50 9:50
Penguins of Madagascar- 2D THU 10:20 4:10 9:10, 3D 1:40 6:40. 2D FRI (10:20 4:10) 10:00, SAT-SUN (10:20) 4:10 10:00, MON-WED (4:00) 10:00, THU (4:00)
Exodus: Gods And Kings - PG13 - 2D THU 10:00 12:50 4:00 7:00, 3D 10:20, FRI-SUN (12:50) 6:30, MON-THU (12:30) 6:30
Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1-PG13- THU 10:10 12:50 3:40 6:30 10:10, FRI (10:00 1:00 3:50) 6:40 9:40, SAT (10:00 1:00) 3:50 6:40 9:40, SUN (1:00) 3:50 6:40 9:40, MON-THU (12:40 3:40) 6:40 9:40
Inherent Vice-R- FRI (10:30 12:30 4:00) 7:00
Top Five-R- THU 10:20 1:30 7:20
Interstellar 3D- PG13- THU 12:20 3:40 6:30 9:30
658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day) Taken 3-PG13- FRI-SUN (1:00) 4:00 7:00 10:00, MON (1:00 4:00) 7:00, TUE (1:00 4:00 7:00 10:00), WED-THU (1:00 4:00) 7:00 Unbroken-PG13- FRI-SUN (12:15) 3:30 6:45 9:50, MON (12:15 3:30) 6:45, TUE (12:15 3:30 6:45 9:50), WED-THU (12:15 3:30) 6:45 Hobbit: Battle Of Five Armies- PG- FRI-SUN (12:00 3:15) 6:30 9:45, MON (12:00 3:15) 6:30, TUE (12:00 3:15 6:30 9:45), WED (12:00 3:15) 6:30, THU (12:00 3:15)
Big Hero 6-PG- FRI-SAT 11:45 2:15 4:45 7:15 9:45, SUN 11:45 2:15 4:45 7:15
MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, Kahului, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm) TCM Presents The Wizard Of Oz-NR- SUN 2:00 7:00, WED 2:00 7:00 Taken 3-PG13- FRI (10:10 10:40 1:20 1:50 3:50 4:20) 7:20 7:50 10:20 10:30, SAT-SUN (10:10 10:40 1:20 1:50) 3:50 4:20 7:20 7:50 10:20 10:30, MONTHU (1:00 1:30 3:40 4:10) 7:20 7:50 10:20 10:30 The Woman In Black 2- Angel Of Death-PG13- THU 10:20 1:30 4:20 7:50 10:40, FRI (10:30 1:30 4:00) 7:40 10:30, SAT (10:30 1:30) 4:00 7:40 10:30, SUN (1:30) 4:00 7:40 10:30, MON-THU (1:10 3:50) 7:40 10:30 Big Eyes-PG13- THU 10:10 1:10 4:10 7:30 10:30, FRI (10:00 2:00 4:40) 7:30 10:20, SAT (10:00 2:00) 4:40 7:30 10:20, SUN (10:00) 4:40 7:30 10:20, MON-TUE (1:40 4:30) 7:30 10:20, WED 7:30 10:20, THU (1:40 4:30) 11:00 Into The Woods-PG- THU 10:10 1:10 4:10 7:10 10:10, FRI (10:00 12:40 3:30) 6:30 9:30, SAT (10:00 12:40) 3:30 6:30 9:30, SUN (10:00 12:40) 3:50 6:50 10:10, MON-TUE (12:20 3:20) 6:30 9:30, WED (12:20 3:20) 6:40 10:00, THU (12:20 3:20) 6:30 9:40
Selma opens this week
NEW THIS WEEK
NOW PLAYING
FENG SHUI 2 - NR - Horror - Something about a guy who gets a cursed mirror and then bad stuff happens. Seriously people: be careful with Craigslist! 100 min.
ANNIE - PG - Comedy/Family - Quvenzhane Wallis plays Annie and Jamie Foxx plays the rich guy in this updated version of the venerable musical. 118 min.
INHERENT VICE - R - Crime/Comedy - Paul Thomas Anderson directs this drug-soaked detective story, based on the Thomas Pynchon novel of the same name. Stars Joaquin Phoenix, Reese Witherspoon and Josh Brolin. See this week’s film review. 148 min.
BIG EYES - PG13 - Biography/Drama - The story of painter Margaret Keane, and how her husband later claimed credit for her work. Stars Amy Adams and Christoph Waltz. 105 min.
SELMA - PG13 - Drama - The story of the Civil Rights campaign in the South in 1965. Stars David Oyelowo, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Tim Roth. 127 min. TCM PRESENTS THE WIZARD OF OZ NR - Family - Classic 1939 story of a girl who finds herself in Oz and can’t get home until she kills two witches. Stars Judy Garland, Frank Morgan and Ray Bolger. 102 min. TAKEN 3 - PG13 - Crime/Thriller - Here’s something original: a guy is accused of a murder he didn’t commit, and must now find the real killer to clear his name. Stars Liam Neeson and Famke Janssen
BIG HERO 6 - PG - Animation/Comedy - A giant inflatable robot and a prodigy team up to form a high-tech group that battles bad stuff. 108 min. EXODUS: GODS AND KINGS - PG13 Action/Drama - Ridley Scott directs this telling of the story of how Moses led 600,000 slaves to freedom in Egypt. 150 min. THE GAMBLER - R - Crime/Thriller - Marky Mark Wahlberg plays a literature professor who’s also a gambling junkie. 111 min. HOBBIT: BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES PG13 - Adventure/Fantasy - Bilbo Baggins is back, caught between a ring and a hard place in the bitter battle between good and evil. 144 min. HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY, PART 1 -
PG13 - Sci-Fi/Adventure - After Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) destroyed the games in the last flick, she now becomes a symbol of rebellion. 123 min. THE IMITATION GAME - PG13 - Biopic/ Drama - The story of brilliant British mathematician and code-breaker Alan Turing, who helped win World War II for the allies. Stars Benedict Cumberbatch. 114 min. INTO THE WOODS - PG - Fantasy - A witch makes a baker and his wife take stuff from fairy tales to release an ancient family curse. Stars Meryl Streep, Anna Kendrick and Chris Pine. 124 min. NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: SECRET OF THE TOMB - PG - Adventure/Comedy Guard Larry (Ben Stiller) is still at the museum where the exhibits come to life, but now he needs to save it or something. 97 min. PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR - PG - Animation - Those penguins from the Madagascar franchise return to save the world from the evil Dr. Octavius Brine. 92 min. UNBROKEN - PG13 - War/Biography - Louis Zamperini survives a bomber crash in World War II and getting lost at sea, then ends up in a Japanese POW camp. Based on a true story. Directed by Angelina Jolie. 137 min.
WILD - R - Drama/Biography - Reese Witherspoon plays Cheryl Strayed, who hiked the 1,100mile Pacific Crest Trail alone after facing personal hardship. Based on a true story. 115 min. THE WOMAN IN BLACK 2: ANGEL OF DEATH - PG13 - Horror - A bunch of meddling kids awaken a dark spirit at some place called Eel Marsh House, which should have tipped everyone off that something was up. 98 min.
LAST CHANCE HORRIBLE BOSSES 2 - R - Comedy - Three idiots turn to kidnapping when dealing with an investor in their new company. Stars Jason Bateman, Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis. 108 min. INTERSTELLAR - PG-13 - Sci-Fi - Christopher Nolan directs this space adventure, in which astronauts (played by Matthew McConaughey and Anne Hathaway) travel through a wormhole to find a new home for humanity. 169 min. TOP FIVE - R - Comedy - Chris Rock directs, writes and stars in this story of a comedian who tries to become a serious actor. 101 min.
JANUARY 8, 2015 21
by Alex Mitchell & Dayna Yamasaki
Calendar
Da Kine Calendar BIG SHOWS BLACK AND WHITE PARTY - Fri, Jan 9. Go Upcountry this weekend to support Brittany Dinson’s medical expenses through dance and celebration. All the evening’s revenue will go to her cause. The night will feature music by DJ Kurt and DJ Trevor. Music starts at 10pm, $10 cover. 21 and over. Casanova’s. (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-5720220; Casanovamaui.com BACK TO THE ‘80S - Get ready for some side ponytail scrunchie action Upcountry this weekend! Grab some lace gloves and your totally awesome duds for an all ‘80s night with DJ Blast. Music starts at 10pm. $5 cover before 10pm, $10 after. 21 and over. Casanova. (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220; Casanovamaui.com
STAGE ‘ITS A WONDERFUL LIFE, A LIVE RADIO PLAY’ - Fri, Dec 12, 2014 - Sun, Jan 11, 2015. A beloved holiday classic of a 1940’s radio broadcast of character George Bailey who considers ending his life on a dark Christmas Eve day. 7:30pm on Fridays and Saturdays, and 3pm on Sundays. Pro Arts Playhouse (1280 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-463-6550; Proartspacific.com ‘ULALENA - Mon-Fri. A nonpareil portal to Hawaiian history and kanaka maoli lore; what ‘Ulalena accomplishes–five night a weeks for 14 years strong–is without a doubt the most powerful and entertaining cultural education on Maui.$29.99 Keiki / $59.99 adults. Children 5 and under are free. Kama‘aina and military rates, dinner, and VIP packages are available. 5pm. Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808856-7900; Mauitheatre.com BURN’N LOVE–A MUSICAL JOURNEY STARRING DARREN LEE - Daily. Experience Elvis in Hawaii with Burn’n Love! Relive the nostalgia of Blue Hawaii and the Aloha from Hawaii live broadcast that made TV history with the most authentic Elvis tribute show ever presented on stage. Shows Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday at 8pm. Tickets start at $59.99; kama‘aina and military prices are available. A portion of every ticket sold benefits the Maui Food Bank. 8pm Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; Mauitheatre.com
FOODIE VEGETARIAN COOKING CLASSES - (Every Thur.). See and sample how chefs use local, organic and wholesome ingredients to make healthy and delicious entrées, soups, breakfast and desserts. No registration required. For a jump start on the class, check out more than 600 healthy recipes online. First and third Thursday of every month. Free. 5:30-6:30pm. Down To Earth, (305 Dairy Rd., Kahului); 808-877-2661; Downtoearth.org JAPENGO SATURDAY SUSHI SCHOOL - (Every Sat.) Join Japengo’s sushi chef in their chic sushi lounge. Learn how to create Japengo’s signature sushi rolls from scratch, with hands-on instruction from Chef Jay and Japengo’s team of expert sushi chefs. $50 per person (includes sushi, non-alcoholic beverages, tax and gratuity). Maximum 20 people per class, reservations are required. Every second and fourth Saturday of every month. 3-4:30pm Japengo at the Hyatt Regency, (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-4727; Maui.hyatt.com FARM TO TABLE DINING - (Every Sat.) Feast on the abundant harvest of a freshly picked vegetarian meal made from only the purest, chemical and pesticide free ingredients, accompanied by Maui Sacred Earth Soothing Herbal Tea Blend. Menu varies depending on what’s available for harvest. Call for reservations. $25, $20 kama‘aina. 6-8pm. Ahimsa Sanctuary Farm (4505 Hana Hwy., Haiku); 808-283-8057; Ahimsasanctuaryfarm.com
22 JANUARY 8, 2015
SUNDAY NIGHT LAULAU - (Every Sun.) Enjoy a healthy and modern take on a traditional Hawaiian dish, every Sunday evening at Ko. Come early, the laulau special is first-come, first-served and does sell out. Kama‘aina offer not applicable. Ko (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-4100; Fairmont.com PULEHU BAR–WINE SOCIAL EVENTS (Every Sun & Mon.) Book ahead of time for this fabulous weekly event. Sixteen people maximum will enjoy three award-winning wines, one bite to eat and great conversation with new friends. 5-5:45pm. For reservations, visit Opentable.com. Pulehu Italian Grill, Westin Ka‘anapali Ocean Resort Villas. (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali).
ART MEET THE ARTISTS - Jan 13-15. Bring your friends and family to see how the magic is created by talented local artists like watercolor/pastel artist Victoria Wundram, watercolor/oil/pastel artist Elizabeth Current and oil/pen and ink/pastel artist Mark DeColibus. Free. 10am-2pm. Lahaina Arts Society Banyan Tree Gallery (648 Wharf St.,, Lahaina); 808-661-0111; Lahainaarts.com CHRIS LARSON - Every Wed in Jan. Talk story with artist Chris Larson as she works her magic. She enjoys taking her original photos through a series of creative processes and hand enhancements to get a vivid watercolor painting effect while staying true to the vision of her original image. Free. 9am-9pm. Maui Hands Gallery - Hyatt (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-7997; Mauihands.com
Party 10am-1pm. It’s part art party, part painting class. Island Art Party (1279 S. Kihei Rd.), 808419-6020; Islandartparty.com
TICKETS ON SALE MAISEY RIKA - Sat, Jan 17. Hailing from New Zealand, this singer/songwriter began singing professionally at 13. She found national stardom with her debut release of traditional Maori songs. Now with four albums in her repertoire and significant international touring credentials (Maisey just opened for John Legend and India Arie), this soulful songstress brings her music and heritage to Maui for a one-night performance of tingling vocals and Maori fusion. Tickets are $25-35. Show starts at 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater. Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org ADVENTURE CLUB - Sun, Jan 18. One of the hottest acts in electronic music right now is Adventure Club (Christian Srigley and Leighton James). They specialize in meshing dubstep’s chainsaw synths with delicate vocals and surprisingly upbeat melodies, creating a unique sound. One of their most favored remixes is of Malaysian songstress Yuna’s “Lullabies,” which appeared in the opening sequence of Ultra Music Festival’s 2013 after-movie. They’ve crisscrossed the country on multiple U.S. tours and appeared at Lollapalooza, Electric Daisy Carnival, Ultra Music Festival and Electric Zoo. Show starts at 6pm. Tickets are $20-45. 18 years and older. Yokouchi Pavilion. Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org
EBB & FLO FLOW ENSEMBLE - Sun, Jan u in Jan. ANYES BARBER - Every Thu 18. Ebb & Flow Ensemble’s eighth Meet and talk stories with oil paintbienni biennial concert offers a scrumped er Anyes Barber. She learned tiou tious assortment of new music: her techniques from the bestt fro from a classic oboe quartet art teachers in Bordeaux, b prolific British composer by France and the Oregon Art Benjamin Britten, to a world Academy. She likes to repremiere by Ebb & Flow dimain true to the characters rector Robert Pollock. The she paints on canvas while program includes a Pulitzer immersing them in fantasy Prize-winning composition landscapes. Free. 12-4pm. MAUITIME.COM/EVENTS/COMMUNITY/ADD b Argentine-born Mario by Maui Hands - Paia (84 Hana D Davidovsky, for piano and Hwy., Paia); 808-579-9245; ele electronic sounds (with special Mauihands.com video and an award-winning video), q string quartet by Hawaii’s “dean” of O RICHARD DIGIACOMO compose Neil McKay. The concert composers, Every Fri in Jan. Meet Richard wi the delightful, tuneful Cor concludes with DiGiacomo, of Russian and Italian Anglais (English Horn) Quartet by Jean Francaix. descent. Using etched aluminum panels, his Tickets are $25. Show starts at 5pm. McCoy Studio technique calls for many coats of clear seals, apTheater. Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron plied to create depth and movement. Free. 4:30Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org 7:30pm. Maui Hands - Lahaina (612 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-9898; Mauihands.com TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS - Mon, Jan 19. Check out renowned writer, conservationist and CHRISTINE WAARA - Jan 9, 16, 23, 30. Talk story naturalist Terry Tempest Williams. An award-winning with Christine Waara as she makes art. She has taught author of books such as Refuge and Finding Beauty at the University of Rochester’s Creative Workshop at in a Broken World, Williams has testified before Conthe Memorial Art Gallery and has conducted workshops gress about women’s health and free speech issues, and given talks at various art clubs across the country. camped in remote areas of Alaska, Utah and Africa, She currently works part time at Maui Hands art gallery and employed her passionate and lyrical prose in serwhich keeps her connected to customers from all over vice to conservation and wildness. Currently a scholar the world as well as learning about other artists and how at the University of Utah, her writing has also appeared they create their art. Free. Jan 9, 23, 30 11am-3pm; Jan in The New Yorker, The New York Times, Orion 16 5-8pm. Maui Hands - Makawao (1169 Makawao Magazine and numerous anthologies worldwide as a Ave.); 808-572-2008; Mauihands.com crucial voice for ecological consciousness and social MARK DE COLIBUS - Jan 5 - Feb 1. Mark De Cochange. Includes reception afterward, with book signlibus has been an artist on Maui for 32 years. He will ing, live music and pupu. All ticket sales benefit The be showing works done in oil, pastel, pen and ink, Merwin Conservancy. 7pm. Tickets are $35. McCoy watercolor, acrylic scratch board, pencil and charStudio Theater. Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One coal. Free. 9am-5pm. Lahaina Arts Society Old Jail Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org Gallery (648 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-0111 NEW SHANGHAI CIRCUS - (Jan 19-20) These I LOVE MAUI - Thru April 2015. Art Project Paia highly skilled, rigorously trained and multitalented acropresents the annual “I Love Maui” show featuring many bats will enthrall you as they bend and twist with graceartists with pieces highlighting the island of Maui. Art ful movements to form living sculptures. Matched with Project Paia (77 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-214-6949 innovative choreography, radiant lighting, enchanting scenery and powerful music, this beautifully orchesISLAND ART PARTY CLASSES - Wed-Sat. trated presentation of acrobatic skills leave the audiArt Party from 6:30-9:30pm, Sunday Morning Art
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ence spellbound. Building on traditional Chinese acts, the artists of today’s New Shanghai Circus add layers of complexity and daring to bring new spectacular stunts and favorite jaw-droppers. Kids of all ages, from preschool to senior citizen, will enjoy these intrepid performers from China. Tickets are $12, $25 & $35. Castle Theater. Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org AN EVENING WITH YO-YO MA - Thu, Jan 22. It’s his only Hawaii concert. Kennedy Center Honoree, CultureConnect Ambassador and UN Messenger of Peace Yo-Yo Ma has received numerous prestigious music awards and played as a soloist with most major orchestras to universal critical acclaim and the love of listeners around the world. Yo-Yo Ma is one the finest cellists of this generation, and a musician of unusually broad appeal. His 90 albums have received 19 Grammys. He’s also recorded bluegrass music, traditional Chinese melodies, Argentinian tangos and Brazilian music. For Maui, this is a rare treat. Tickets are $55, $90, $150 & $250. Show starts at 7:30pm. Castle Theater. Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org RANI ARBO & DAISY MAYHEM - Fri, Jan 23. Musically, Rani Arbo & Daisy Mayhem are a melting pot of American folk melody and style. Gleefully drawing from a variety of traditions, they hang a Georgia Sea Islands song on a New Orleans groove and sneak an Afro-Cuban /Cajun groove under an Irish fiddle tune. Tickets are $30. Show starts at 7:30pm. McCoy Studio Theater. Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org JUDY COLLINS - Fri, Jan 23. Check out folk music legend Judy Collins, an artist who’s inspired audiences with sublime vocals, vulnerable song-writing, personal life triumphs and a firm commitment to social activism. Her stunning rendition of Joni Mitchell’s “Both Sides Now,” from the landmark 1967 album Wildflowers has been entered into the Grammy Hall of Fame, and she’s well-remembered for her dreamy and sweetly intimate version of “Send in the Clowns.” Tickets are $35-65. Show starts at 7:30pm. Castle Theater. Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org HALAU KAMALUOKALEIHULU: E KAULELE A‘E - Sat, Jan 24. Under the direction of Kumu Hula Kahulu Maluo, Halau Kamaluokaleihulu presents their anniversary concert E Kaulele A‘e (“To Take Flight”). The night provides a true celebration of new and upcoming performers and musicians, as each group “takes flight” on their new venture while perpetuating the Hawaiian culture. The halau will share the stage with 2014 Na Hoku Hanohano Female & Male Vocalists of the Year, Hulu Lindsey and Kamaka Kukona, as well as the nominated most promising artists, Kaiholu, and the newest and most quickest moving music sensation, Hu‘ewa. 6pm. Tickets are $27. Yokouchi Pavilion. Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org NICK SWARDSON - Sat, Jan 24. Comedian, actor and writer/producer Nick Swardson is well-known for his roles in Grown Ups and Grown Ups 2. He first struck success in writing Malibu’s Most Wanted, caught the attention of Happy Madison Productions and quickly became a fixture in that company, working with Adam Sandler and Kevin James. Pre-sale tickets are $20-$38. Show starts at 7:30pm. Castle Theater. Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org MAUI POPS! RODGERS & HAMMERSTEIN CELEBRATION - Sun, Jan 25. Maui Pops Orchestra Music Director James Durham again presents an all-Broadway program! This year features the music of Rodgers & Hammerstein, with many of the most loved and most familiar songs from The King and I, South Pacific, Showboat, The Sound of Music and more. Guest artists Alli Mauzey and William Michals each have extensive Broadway credits and have performed with orchestras around the world. 3pm. Tickets are $15-$50, Half-price
TheGRID
THURSDAY
FRIDAY
SATURDAY
SUNDAY
MONDAY-WEDNESDAY
1/8
1/9
1/10
1/11
1/12-1/14
FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM
AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-1011
CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL Wharf Cinema Center, 672 Front St., Lahaina - 667-0988
SIN w/ DJ Kurt, 10pm
Le Grind w/ DJ Blast, 10pm
Saturday Night Diva w/ DJ TRVR, 10pm
DJ Skinny Guy, 10pm
MON-Mojito Monday w/DJ Firefly 10pm, TUE- DJ Bobo 10pm, WED-Curtis Love Live 8pm
Adam Masterson
Benny Uyetake
Johnny Ringo
Will Hertzog
MON-Dave Carrol, TUE-Jordon Cuddy, WEDJustin Philips
Black & White Benefit for Brittney Dinson w/ DJ Kurt & Trevor, 10pm
Back to the 80’s w/ DJ Blast, 10pm
Leftover Salmon featuring Bill Payne, 10pm
Leftover Salmon featuring Bill Payne, 10pm
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Will Hartzag time tba
Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover
Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover
Justin Phillips 7:30-10pm; no cover
MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30pm , TUE - Jazz 7:30-10pm WED-Kaleo Philips
SIN
Mango Pickers, 8pm
NFL @11 Satterday Saints, 9pm
NFL Gina Martinelli Band, 6pm
WED- Pool Tournament
Quiz @ 7pm DJ L @10pm
DJ L @ 10pm
DJ L @ 10pm
Steve Craig @ 6pm SIN
MON- Chad Kaya & Michael Russell @ 10pm, TUE- Tequila Tuesdays, WED- Jessica & Kanoa @ 10pm
Andrew Corradini
I-Drive
I-Drive Bar: Steve Edwards
Jazz Sunday Brunch Bar: Rick G (Roof Closed)
MON-Rick G, TUE- Andrew Corradini, WED- Steve Edwards
Dominic 4-8pm, Good Chemistry 9-close
Rick Glencross/ Dat Guyz
Ryan Robinson/ HI Lytes
NFL/ Karaoke Industry Night
MON-NFL, TUE-Rick G, WED-Rick G, Open Mic
CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave. - 572-0220
CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085
COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908
DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd.- 874-9299
DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669
FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. 744 Front St. (Rooftop), Lahaina - 669-6425
HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-8010
TUE- Willie K & Blues Band 9pm, WEDFamous Ladies Night w/DJ Kurt, 9-1am
HARD ROCK CAFE
MON-Frequency DJ Night 10pm, TUE-Elvis of Burnin’ Love 6:30pm
900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400
ISANA 515 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-5700
JAVA JAZZ 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787
Karaoke 9pm
Karaoke 9pm
Karaoke 9pm
Steve Edwards
Mark Smeltzer
Rick Glencross
for students and 18 and under ($30-$50 seats). Castle Theater. Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org
at home. 7:30pm. Tickets are $35, $45 and $65. McCoy Studio Theater. Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org
CARMEN DE LAVALLADE - Thu, Jan 29. The unparalleled 65-year career of a legendary dancer and choreographer, as told by herself through movement and personal writings. Carmen de Lavallade is a living legend in the world of American dance and an instrumental force in the modern dance movement of the mid- to late-20th century. The octogenarian dancer performs this intimate, autobiographical work amidst projections of her younger self and film clips featuring some of her significant collaborators, such as Alvin Ailey, Lester Horton and Josephine Baker. In the process, she reflects on what is remembered and what is forgotten, creating a work of storytelling shaped by the cognitive and muscular memories of her personal history. It will be entrancing!7:30pm. Tickets are $12, $35 and $45. Castle Theater. Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org
ART=MIXX: MASQUERADE - Sat, Jan 31. Merging Portrait with Persona… A theme in tune with the current exhibit, Schaefer Portrait Challenge 2015. ArT=Mixx is an interactive mixer for the over-21 and young-at-heart crowd, aiming to connect people to art in ways that are both fun and stimulating. Music, videos, dancing and networking are all part of the package. Event is for age 21 & over only. 7-11pm. Free. Pavilion/ Amphitheater. Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org
KAPONO, CRUZ & NOLAND - Fri, Jan 30. Henry Kapono, John Cruz, Brother Noland: three of Hawaii’s most stellar musician/singer/songwriters, performing individual hits and new collaborations as the Rough Riders. Independent by nature; connected by music; bonded by skills, determination & style. Three inspiring songwriters, three distinct voices & the perfect blending of guitars create an exceptional musical style. From classics like “Friends,” “Coconut Girl” and “Island Style” to new and provocative sounds, it should be an intoxicating evening of music and legacy. 7:30pm. Tickets are $12, $28, $40 and $55. Castle Theater. Maui Arts & Cultural Center. (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; Mauiarts.org MARC BROUSSARD - Fri, Jan 30. Whether he’s incorporating funk, blues or R&B into his soulful pop sound, Louisiana-born Marc Broussard always stays true to his Southern and musical roots. Known for his own unique brand of “Bayou soul,” singer-songwriter Marc Broussard is also a fiery performer, imbuing his tunes with passion and energy. From laid back renditions of his classic “Home” to the newer “Only Everything,” this charmer never fails to make fans feel right
EVENTS THURSDAY, JAN 8 WEST MAUI TAXPAYERS ASSOCIATION’S ANNUAL MEMBERS MEETING - See elected officials address issues of interest to the West Maui community. There will also be special presentations on the proposed West Maui hospital, affordable housing and traffic. Guest speakers include Senator Roz Baker, Representative Angus McKelvey, Mayor Alana Arakawa and more. Akaku Community TV will tape the event for later re-broadcast. Open to the public. 5pm. Lahaina Civic Center (1840 Hanoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-7990; Westmaui.org FREE POLYNESIAN PERFORMANCES HULA SHOW - Free. 7pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-6615304; Lahainacannerymall.com GEORGE KAHUMOKU, JR’S GRAMMY AWARD SLACK KEY SHOW - Experience the music of the masters at George Kahumoku’s Slack Key Show. This week will include a line-up of slack key artists, featuring an award-winning musician every week. 7:30pm Napili Kai Beach Resort, (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Napili); 808-669-6271; Slackkeyshow.com
FRIDAY, JAN 9 HAWAIIAN ISLANDS LAND TRUST SERVICE
WED - Karaoke 9pm
“Keytar”
PROJECT - Visit Waihe‘e Coastal Dunes and Wetlands Refuge, a remarkable coastal area that’s rich in Hawaiian history and bird watching. Meet at 8am at the Waihee Refuge, located off Halewaiu Road and help remove invasive species and clear brush until 12pm. Bring water and sunscreen, and wear closed-toe shoes, pants and hat for sun protection. Snacks and cold drinks provided. 8am-12pm. Waihe‘e Refuge. (Halewaiu Road, Waihe‘e); 808-249-8811 ext. 1; Volunteersonvacation.org DR. MEL BORINS’ LECTURE AND BOOK SIGNING - Dr. Mel Borins is a family physician and associate professor at the University of Toronto who will be giving a talk about common alternative medical approaches that work. He will also be signing copies of his new book, A Doctor’s Guide to Alternative Medicine: What Works, What Doesn’t and Why. 7-8pm. Unity Church of Maui (483 S. High St., Wailuku); 808-242-9327
SATURDAY, JAN 10 2015 PRE-LEGISLATIVE SESSION COMMUNITY TALK STORY MEETING - Representative Angus McKelvey and Senator Roz Baker will hold their annual Pre-Legislative Session Talk Story meeting and will discuss priorities for future legislation as well as spending priorities for West Maui. Free. 9:30am. West Maui Senior Center (788 Pauoa St., Lahaina). VOLUNTEER: MALAMA HONOKOWAI - Volunteer with Malama Honokowai and visit the beautiful and hidden Honokowai Valley, an area closed to the public. Among Hawaiian archaeological sites, you’ll learn about Hawaiian history and culture as you help to remove invasive weed plants and possibly plant native species. 9am-3:30pm. North Sugar Cane Train Station. (Pu‘ukoli Road, Ka‘anapali); 808- 249-8811 ext. 1; Volunteersonvacation.org
SUNDAY, JAN 11 MAIKA‘IKE - Joy Mountain brings an introduction to ancient navigational skills for more balance, alignment and flow in all aspects of life. $20. 11am-1pm. Montessori School of Maui (2933 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-463-4116; Lineageoflight.com
MON- Mel Arausa, TUE & WED-Fulton Tashombe,
FREE HULA SHOW - Free. 11am Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; mauimall.com
MONDAY, JAN 12 VOLUNTEER: HOALOHA‘AINA - Join South Maui volunteers and group leaders Bob and Lis Richardson to help maintain an ocean-side trail, restore sand dunes, pick-up litter and remove invasive species from 7:30am-9:30am. Every Monday. 808-249-8811 ext. 1; Volunteersonvacation.org
TUESDAY, JAN 13 FREE SPINE HEALTH SCREENINGS - Dr. James Urban has more than 20 years of experience in the “gonstead” art from of adjusting–the “gold standard” in traditional full-spine adjusting. Urban is offering free health scans of the spine through the use of thermography for Whole Foods Market customers. Thermography reads temperatures along the spine that can indicate pain, trauma, imbalance or other potential hidden health problems and only takes seconds. First-come, first-served. Free. 12:30-3:30pm. Whole Foods Market Kahului (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-872-3310 x120 28-DAY HEALTHY EATING CHALLENGE - Visit Whole Foods Market as they simplify and demystify what healthy means by offering a variety of tips and tricks for cooking more whole foods, and products to make eating healthy easy. Each participant will receive a toolkit to help along the journey to a more full abundant life. Register online. 6-7pm. Whole Foods Market Kahului (70 E Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808872-3310; Wfmkahului-healthy-you.eventbrite.com/ WHAT EVERY PARENT NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT DRUGS - Substance abuse is prevalent everywhere, including our schools and community. Guest speaker Gary Shimabukuro from Laulima Hawaii will be sharing about the impact substance abuse has had in our islands and the implications in our schools and community. He will also talk about current trends in illegal, prescription and over-the-counter drugs in Hawaii. Free. 6:30-8pm. Seabury Hall
JANUARY 8, 2015 23
MEDIA MEDIA USERS GROUP GROUP USERS The In-Real-Life Forum for All Social Media Users on Maui
FREE / Not Catered / Seating Limited to 30 Wednesday, February 11th, 2015 : 5PM - 7PM MEDB’S Malcolm Center : Kihei, HI 96753 REGISTRATION INFORMATION: #MauiSMUG mauismug.com
Dear MauiTime Readers: I, your friendly neighborhood Art Director, am in need of some insane design talent. Do you master Indesign? Do you rock the socks off Photoshop? Do you take Illustrator out to dinner and then skip out on the bill? If so—then email me. I could use your muscle. Love, Your MauiTime Art Director Send your resume and 3 design samples to: chris@mauitime.com WALK-INS WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED. MUST KNOW INDESIGN WELL.
There are over 100 things you could be doing today on Maui. Go to mauitime.com for complete weekly calendar listings, and find something to do today.
24 JANUARY 8, 2015
TheGRID
THURSDAY
FRIDAY
SATURDAY
SUNDAY
MONDAY-WEDNESDAY
1/8
1/9
1/10
1/11
1/12-1/14
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KAHALE’S 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-7711
KIMO’S 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811
Kawika’s Krew
Kenny Roberts 7pm; no cover
Eight Track Players 7pm; no cover
Jarod or Maui Blues & Co 7pm; no cover
MON - John Ness or The Vamp TUE - Kihei Cowboys WED - Country Herb & Side Effects, 7pm
Ma’a, 6:30pm
Reese Perry Band, 9-11pm
Ma’a, 6:30pm
Benny & Glenn, 6-8pm
MON -Benny & Glenn 6-8pm, TUE & WED- Sam Ahia 6:30pm
Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover
Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover
KOBE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St. (Lounge Area), Lahaina - 667-5555
LAHAINA SPORTS BAR
MON-Trivia 7-9pm
843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655
L‘AVA SPORTS BAR & KARAOKE
Free Karaoke All Day!
1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888
LONGHI’S LAHAINA LULU’S LAHAINA Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808
MAUI BEACH HOTEL 1 70 Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului - 877-0051
MERRIMAN’S 1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400
Two Cats Acoustic Jazz, 7-9:30pm, no cover
Frequency Dance Party, 10pm
888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288
Live Music 10pm
Latin Friday’s w/ DJ Danny & DJ Moy, 10pm no cover
Ignite Saturdays w/ DJ Big Mike & Kamikaze, 10pm
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Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover
Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover
Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover
Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover
MON - David Wolfberg / TUE - The Benoits WED - Ranga Pae (all 5:30-8:30pm)
Leftover Salmon featuring Bill Payne
Leftover Salmon featuring Bill Payne
MILL HOUSE (MAUI TROPICAL PLANTATION) 1670 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Waikapu- 243-9618
MON- S.I.N. 50% off, 10pm, TUE-DJ Big Mike 10pm, WED-Karaoke 10pm
School (480 Olinda Rd., Makawao); 808-572-7235
Ave, Paia); 808-280-9019; Onelovemarket.com.
Ave., Kahului); 808-244-3100; Mauiexposition.com
WEDNESDAY, JAN 14
ONO ORGANIC FARMS - Daily (except Sat). A family-owned and operated, certified organic coffee and tropical fruit farm. 10:30am-6pm. Ono Organic Farms, (149 Hana Hwy., Hana).
UPCOUNTRY FARMER’S MARKET - Every Sat. Find the best veggies, fruits, flowers and plants, Maui farmers have to offer. Plus, extra goodies like jams and jellies. 7-11am Kulamalu Town Center (near Longs Drugs), 808-283-3257; Upcountryfarmersmarket.org
SOUTH SIDE BIKE RIDE - You’ll need more than a beach cruiser for this bike ride. Riders pedal an average 15mph from Kihei to Iao Valley and back. Meet at South Maui Bicycles shop shortly before 7am. Road bikes recommended. Free. Every Wednesday. South Maui Bicycles, (1993 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-0068; Southmauibicycles.com VOLUNTEERING ON VACATION: O’O FARM - Work on an exquisite organic farm in the misting forest of Waipoli in Kula. Wear sturdy shoes and bring a light jacket that you do not mind getting a little dirty, plus water and sunscreen. Gloves and gardening tools provided. Please call 24 hours in advance to sign up. Free. 8:45am. O‘o Farm (651 Waipoli Rd., Kula) 808-249-8811 ext 1.
KULA COUNTRY FARMS - Daily (except Mon). Kula Country Farm stand offers fruits and vegetables that are only locally grown and harvested fresh then stocked on the shelves daily. Open T-Th 11am to 5pm. 11am-4pm. Kula Country Farms, (Kula Highway at Kekaulike Avenue, Kula) OPEN MARKET - Every Wed. Hale Ku‘ai Open Market features fresh fruit and vegetables open to the public on Wednesday from 11am to 2pm. Available for pre orders pick up on Wednesday call 984-2156 or email lanakilahalekuai@gmail.com. Free. 11am-2pm. Open market, (1977 Main St., Wailuku); 808-984-2156
GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR’S GRAMMY AWARD SLACK KEY SHOW - Every Wednesday experience the music of the masters at George Kahumoku’s Slack Key Show. This week will include a line-up of slack key artists, featuring an award winning musician every week. 7:30pm Napili Kai Beach Resort, (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Napili); 808-669-6271; Slackkeyshow.com
FEED MY SHEEP PRODUCE LAHAINA - Every Thu. FMS Produce is a mobile produce market that sells fresh Upcountry Produce to benefit Feed My Sheep and the hungry on Maui. Those who financially qualify will be able to buy the produce at a 75 percent discount and SNAP (food stamps) will be accepted. Free. 10am12pm. Republic Parking Lot, (Corner of Dickenson and Waine‘e, Lahaina); Feedmysheepmaui.com.
FARMERS MARKET, ART/CRAFT FAIRS
HANA FRESH FARMER’S MARKET - Every Thu. 11am-3pm. Hana Fresh, (4590 Hana Hwy., Hana).
NAPILI FARMERS MARKET - Wed 8-11 am. Across the highway from Napili Market, before Maui Preparatory Academy FARMERS MARKET OF MAUI, HONOKOWAI - Every Mon, Wed & Fri. Lots of fresh local produce plus baked and canned goods. 7-11am Farmers Market Maui & Deli, (3636 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Kahana); 808-669-7004 FARMERS MARKET OF MAUI, KIHEI - Mon-Fri. Sample the goods at this local market for fresh produce. On Fridays, open until 5pm. 8am-4pm Farmers Market of Maui, (61 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-0949 MAKAWAO FARMERS MARKET - Every Wed. Fresh produce. Everything sold is Maui Grown, non-GMO and organic. 9am-2pm Po‘okela Church, (200 Olinda Rd., Makawao); 808-419-1570 FARMERS MARKET IN PAIA - Daily. Island grown fruit smoothies, coconut water and fresh juices. Organically grown Maui fruits and veggies. Produce boxes available. Support your local farmers at One Love Market at the Historic Paia Train Station. 10am-6pm One Love Market, (381 Baldwin
FARMERS MARKET UHMC - Every Mon & Thu. Enjoy fresh sustainably grown produce including tomatoes, lettuce, eggplant, squash, kale, beets, radish, herbs, Asian greens, daikon, chard, flowers and more. Grown on campus by Agriculture and Natural Resource students. 12-1:30pm. University of Hawaii Maui College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-984-3500; Maui.hawaii.edu. FEED MY SHEEP PRODUCE KAHANA - Every Thu. FMS Produce is a mobile produce market that sells fresh Upcountry Produce to benefit Feed My Sheep and the hungry on Maui. Free. 2-4pm. Lahaina Christian Fellowship Church, (4275 Hine Way, Kahana); Feedmysheepmaui.com. LIPOA STREET FARMERS MARKET IN KIHEI - Every Sat. Fruits, produce and Ono Farm sourced foods. 8:30am-11:00am. (95 Lipoa St., Kihei). MAUI SWAP MEET - Every Sat. From camo hunting gear and koa carvings to vintage aloha postcards and delicate, locally-crafted jewelry, produce market, this place pretty much has it all. 50 cents admission. 7am1pm. Maui Community College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu
LAHAINA ARTS SOCIETY’S FINE ART FAIR Every Sun & Sat. Under the shade of Lahaina’s famous Banyan Tree, check out over 50 select Maui artists. Listen to live music and find unique treasures including paintings, ceramics, jewelry, photography, glass art, wood carvings, baskets and more. Free. 9am-5pm. Banyan Tree Park, (649 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-9175; Visitlahaina.com. FEED MY SHEEP PRODUCE KAHULUI - Every Sat. FMS Produce is a mobile produce market that sells fresh Upcountry Produce to benefit Feed My Sheep and the hungry on Maui. Those who financially qualify will be able to buy the produce at a 75 percent discount and SNAP (food stamps) will be accepted. Free. 9:30am-12pm Christ the King Church, (Corner of Wakea Avenue and Pu‘unene Avenue., Kahului); Feedmysheepmaui.com. HANA FRESH FARMER’S MARKET - Mondays. 3-6pm Hana Fresh, (4590 Hana Hwy., Hana). ARTISAN FAIR - Mondays. Made on Maui artists selling artwork, photography, jewelry, accessories, clothing, massage and wellness. Cash bar and free valet. Free entry. 5-10pm. Longhi’s Lahaina, (888 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-2288; Longhis.com.
DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL - Sat, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sun, Will Hartzag 7:3010pm; Fri, Benny Uyetake 7:30-10pm. (672 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0988. CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE - Thu Brooks Maguire 4:30-10:30pm; Fri Sonshine Rivers & Harry Troupe 4:30-10:30pm; Sat Scott Freeman 4:30-10:30pm; Sun Brooks Maguire 4:3010:30pm; Mon, Mark Burnett 4:30-10:30pm; Tue Scott Freeman 4:30-10:30pm; Wed Sonshine Rivers & Harry Troupe 4:30-10:30pm; (811 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4855. COOL CAT CAFE - Thu, Will Hartzog 7:30-10pm; Fri, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sat, Dave Carroll
7:30-10pm; Sun, Justin Phillips 7-9pm; Mon, Peter D 7-9:30pm; Tue, Jazz 7:30-10pm; Tue, Jazz at the Cat 7:30-10pm; Wed, Jordan Cuddy 7:3010pm. (658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908. DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Mon, Keali‘i Lum 3-5pm, Eddie Sabala 6-8:30pm; Tue, Ben 3-5pm, Eddie Sabala & Alika Nakoka 6-8:30pm; Wed, Danyell 3-5pm, Puhi K6 6-8:30pm; Thu, Ben 3-5pm, Danyell & Roy 6-8:30pm; Fri, Garrett 3-5pm, Damon & Tim 6-8:30pm; Sat, Danyell 3-5pm, Damon & Ron Oversize Prod. 6-8:30pm; Sun, Keali‘i Lum 3-5pm, Damon & Ron Oversize Prod. 6-8:30pm. (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Ka‘anapali); 808-662-2900. FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT STREET - Thu, Cole Sulenta 6:30pm; Fri, Maui Underground 6:30pm; Sun, Mick Fleetwood Blues Band 6:30pm; Mon, Yum Yum Beast 6:30pm; Tue, Ryan Robinson Duo 6:30pm; Sat, The House Shakers & Steve Edwards 6:30pm; Daily, Fleetwood’s on Front St. Oyster Hour 5-6pm. (744 Front St., Lahaina); 808-669-6425. HARD ROCK CAFE - Fri & Wed, Evan Shulman 8pm; Mon, Kaliko’s Way 10pm; Tue, Elvis Burnin’ Love 6:30pm; (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400. HULA GRILL - Wed, Ernest Pua’a 11:00am; Wed, Peter DeAquino 2:30pm; Wed, Ernest Pua‘a, Kamuela & Roy Kato 6:00pm; Thu, Derick Sebastian 11:00am, Kealii Lum & Naiwi Teruya 2:30pm, Damon Parillo & Friends 6:00pm; Fri, Derick Sebastian 11:00am, Ma’a 2:30pm, Kawika Lum Ho & Friends 6:00pm; Sat, Kawika Lum Ho 11:00am, Ma’a 2:30pm, Danyel Alana & Friends 6:00pm; Sun, Danyel Alana 11:00am, Ma’a 2:30pm, Kealii Lum & Friends 6:00pm; Mon, Kawika Lum Ho 11:00am, Kapali Keahi 2:30pm, Kealii Lum & Friends 6:00pm; Tue, Jarrett Roback 11:00am, Kawika Lum Ho 2:30pm, Will Pohaku 6:00pm. (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-667-6636. JAPENGO AT THE HYATT REGENCY - Thu, Kanoa Kukaua Duo 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Mando Kane 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Kawika Ortiz 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, Kelly Covington Duo 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Margie Hart 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Kanoa Kukaua 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, Pam Peterson 6:30-8:30pm. (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-661-1234. JAVA JAZZ/SOUP NUTZ - Every Thu & Sat, Rick Glencross 7-10pm; Fri, Mel Arausa 7-10pm; Sun, Mike Madden 7-10pm; Mon, Farzad Azad 7-10pm; Tue, Cole Suletna 7-10pm; Wed, Tracy Stiles 7-10pm. (3350 L.
JANUARY 8, 2015 25
142 HANA HWY • PAIA • 808-579-8085 WWW.CHARLEYSMAUI.COM
WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY
CASANOVA’S FAMOUS LADIES NIGHT DJ KURT
“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI”
MUSIC STARTS @ 10PM + $5 BEFORE 11PM - $10 AFTER
FRIDAY, JANUARY 9TH
BLACK AND WHITE
DJ KURT DJ TREVOR
THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA’S THE AWARDS
SHOW STARTS AT 10PM $5 BEFORE 10PM $10 AFTER
CHILLTOWN PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS
FRI | 1/9 LEFTOVER SALMON’S HO’OLAULEA’A 2 FEATURING BILL PAYNE OF LITTLE FEAT 10PM • $25 SINGLE SHOW TICKETS $80 4 DAY PASS Tickets available at Charley’s and leftoversalmon.com SAT | 1/10
NFL PLAYOFFS AT 11:30AM & 3PM
A BENEFIT EVENT FOR BRITTNEY DINSON 100% OF REVENUES GO TO KOKUA FOR BRITTNEY’S MEDICAL EXPENSES
SATURDAY, JANUARY 10TH
THURS | 1/8 LEFTOVER SALMON’S HO’OLAULEA’A 2 FEATURING BILL PAYNE OF LITTLE FEAT 10PM • $25 SINGLE SHOW TICKETS $80 4 DAY PASS Tickets available at Charley’s and leftoversalmon.com
SHOW STARTS AT 10PM $5 BEFORE 10PM $10 AFTER
BACK TO THE 80’s ALL 80’s NIGHT WITH DJ BLAST
MAKE IT A MEMORABLE EVENING + DINE & DANCE AT CASANOVA FOR DINNER RESERVATIONS CALL 808.572.0220 LOG ON AT WWW.CASANOVAMAUI.COM
DON’T MISS OUR BLOODY MARY BAR! NO MUSIC TONIGHT SALOON WILL BE OPEN
SUN | 1/11
NFL PLAYOFFS AT 8AM & 11:30AM BREAKFAST SERVED 7AM DON’T MISS OUR BLOODY MARY BAR!
MON | 1/12 CHARLEY’S LIVE BAND OPEN MIC & JAM 7PM-10PM • no COVER TUES | 1/13 TEX MEX TUESDAY
WITH HOWARD AHIA
6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER
WED | 1/14 ANDREW CORRADINI 6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER
GET YOUR EVENT ON MAUITIME SUBMIT AND EDIT YOUR EVENTS BY GOING TO WWW.MAUITIME.COM/EVENTS/COMMUNITY/ADD
26 JANUARY 8, 2015
TheGRID
THURSDAY
FRIDAY
SATURDAY
SUNDAY
MONDAY-WEDNESDAY
1/8
1/9
1/10
1/11
1/12-1/14
FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM
MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131
RITA’S 1945 S.Kihei Rd. 214-5788
SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286
SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 - 879-0004
SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-6444
STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206
STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380
THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S Kihei Rd. - 879-3133
TIFFANY’S 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052
WATERCRESS Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351
Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Honokowai); 808-667-0787. KIMO’S - Thu, Ma’a 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Danyel Alana Band 7:30-9:30pm; Sat, Ma’a 6:30-8:30pm; Every Sun & Mon, Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakugawa 6-8pm; Every Tue & Wed, Sam Ahia 6:308:30pm. (845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811. LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Sun, Greg Di Piazza 7:30-9:30pm; Every Mon & Tue, Martin Tevaga 7:30-9:30pm; Every Wed, Thu & Fri, John Kane 7:309:30pm. (730 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0700. LAHAINA SPORTS BAR - Mon, Trivia 7-9pm. (843 Waine‘e St., Lahaina); 808-667-6655 LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Thu, Jarret & Wilson 3-5pm; Fri, JD & Friends 3-5pm; Sat, JD & Harry 3-5pm; Sun, Merv Oana 3-5pm; Wed, Jarret & Josh 3-5pm. (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-4495. LONGBOARDS KA‘ANAPALI - Every Tue, Wed, Thu & Fri, Solo guitarist 5:30-8:30pm. (100 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-1200. LONGHI’S LAHAINA - Fri, Homestead 10pm1:30am; Every Sun, Two Cats 7-9:30pm; (888 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-2288 LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL - Thu, Rock Thursday 6-9pm; Wed, Island Jams with Kenny Roberts 6-9pm. (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-0808. MERRIMAN’S - Mon, David Wolfberg 5:308:30pm; Tue, The Benoits 5:30-8:30pm; Daily (except Mon & Tue), Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm. (1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua); 808-669-6400. OCEAN POOL BAR & GRILL - Mon & Fri, Ukulele/Lounge 4-7pm. (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200. PAILOLO BAR & GRILL - Every Tue, Wed & Thu, Ukulele/Pop 5-8pm. (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200. PARADISE GRILL - Fri, Kaliko’s Way 6-9pm; Sat, Justin 6-9pm; Sun, Deeson 6-9pm; (2291 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-3700. PINEAPPLE GRILL - Thu, Josh Kahula of Nuff Sedd 7-10pm; Fri, Danyel Alana 6-9pm; Sat, Alika & Eddie 7-10pm; Thu, Fulton Tashombe 6-9pm. (200 Kapalua Dr.); 808-669-9600. PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Tue, Ah-Tim Elenicki 6-9pm; Mon, Kalani 6-9pm; Thu, Greg di Piazza feat. Alana Cini 6-9pm. (658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-8881.
Makai Jazz Group, 7pm Trish Da Dish Pub Quiz, 9:30pm
Soul Kitchen
Andrew Corradini, 7-9pm
Celtic Tigers, 7-10pm
MON-Joyce & Gord 7pm, TUE- Mulligans Magig Show 6:30pm, WED-Willie K Dinner Show 6:30pm
Thursday Night Football, Steve Craig 7-10pm
John Bowzer 7-10pm
DJ & Beach Party!
Sunday Football All Day! John Bowzer 6:30pm
MON- MNF, Steve Craig, TUE-Rick Scanlon, WED- Au Tim 4-7pm & John Bowzer 7-10pm
Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover
Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover
Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover
Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover
Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover
Jamie Gallo 4-6pm, Wild Style Hair Party w/ DJ Big Mike 9pm
TBD
A Tiki Bash!! w/ DJ LX
Viva La Rumba 4-6pm, Kanoa 10pm
MON - Kanoa 4pm & DJ Big Mike SIN 10pm, TUE - Steve Mantelli 4pm & DJ Salvo10pm,
Pub Quiz Night, 8pm
Just Us 808, 8:30pm
Gina Martinelli, 8:30pm
Karaoke, 8pm
MON- Martini Monday, TUE & WED- FREE Pool
Karaoke w/ Dudley 8:30pm-12am; no cover
Hot Apple Pie, 8pm $4 cover
Karaoke w/ Dudley 8-12am; $4 cover
Salsa Night w/ Barbara & Ernesto, 8pm-no cover
Louise Lambert Trio, 7:30-10:30pm
Skip, 6:30-8:30pm
Skip, 7-9pm
MON- Elaine Ryan 5:30pm, TUE- Power Up Comedy Tour 9pm, WED- Steve 9-11pm,
Karaoke
Karaoke
Karaoke
Karaoke
MON-WED- Karaoke
Live Music 10pm-1am
Live Music 10pm-1am
DJ 70’s & 80’s music, 10pm-1am
Free Karaoke, 9pm
MON, TUE & WED- Free Karaoke, 9pm
RB BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm. (4465 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Kahana); 808-669-8889. SANGRITA GRILL + CANTINA- Every Wed 5:30-7:30pm, and Final Friday Fiesta with live Flamenco music by Indio & Avion 6:30-8:30pm. The Fairway Shops Ka‘anapali. (2580 Keka‘a Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-662-6000; SangritaGrill.com SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT, NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT - Tue & Sun, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Wed & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm; Thu, Kincaid Kupahu 7-10pm; Sat, Jason Ho 7-9pm; (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Napili); 808-669-1500. THE CLIFF DIVE BAR - Thu, Tim Osborne 6:308pm; Sat, Larry Golis & Hollis Lee 6:30-8pm; Mon, Larry Golis 6:30-8pm; Every Tue, Wed & Fri, Scott Baird 6:30-8pm. (2605 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-8025. UMALU - Sun, Kawika Ortiz 6-8pm; Mon, Kawika LumHo 6-8pm; Tue, Craig Soderberg 6-8pm; Wed, Kawika Ortiz 5-9:30pm. (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-661-1234.
SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA MARTINI LOUNGE - Fri, DJ Blast 10pm; Sat, DJ Firefly and DJ Lord HighOwl 10pm; Sun, DJ HighOwl 10pm; Mon, DJ Firefly 10pm; Tue, DJ Firefly 10pm; Wed, Curtis Love Live 8-10pm; (1913 S. Kihei Rd, ); 808-891-1011. BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Every Thu & Sat, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Fri, Mike Finkiewicz 5-8pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm; Every Sun & Wed, Mark Burnett 5-8pm. (300 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-243-2286. CAPISCHE? - Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm. Sat, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm; (555 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-879-2224. DIAMONDS ICE BAR & GRILL - Thu, 8 Track Players 8pm; Fri, DJ 9pm; Sat, The Hott Mess 9pm; Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-9299. DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB - Thu, Quiz 7pm, DJ L 10pm; Fri, DJ L 10pm; Sat, DJ L 10pm; Mon, Bartenders Mix 10pm; Sun, Steve Craig 6pm; Tue, Johnny Ringo 10pm; Wed, Jessica & Kanoa 10pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-9669. GANNON’S A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT - Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm; Fri, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm. (100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-875-8080. HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Thu, Dominic 4-8pm;
Thu, Good Chemistry 9pm; Sat, Ryan Robinson 4-8pm; Sat, HI Ground 9pm; Every Tue, Wed & Fri, Rick Glencross 4-8pm; Fri, Dat Guyz 9pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8010. KAMAOLE POOLSIDE CAFE - Thu, Kawika Lum Ho 6-9pm; Fri, Gina Martinelli 6-9pm; Sat, Ron Shadian 6-9pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm; Mon, Rama Camarillo 6-9pm; Tue, Mike & Mark 6-9pm; Wed, Steve Sargenti 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8860. MAKENA BEACH & GOLF RESORT - Fri, Glen Kakugawa 6-9:30pm; Sat, Deason Baybayan 6-9:30pm; Sun, Craig Soderberg 6-9:30pm; Mon, Reiko Fukino 6-9:30pm; Every Tue & Thu, Clay Mortensen 6-9:30pm. (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888.
TAQUERIA CRUZ - Thu, Rama Camarillo 6:308:30pm; Fri, Ellis Ayres 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Reggae w/ Ras Shaggai 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Artie Parti 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Kawika Ortiz 6:308:30pm; Wed, Natalie Nicole 6:30-8:30pm. (2395 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-2910. THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Fri, Louise Lambert Jazz Trio 7:30-10:30pm; (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133. TOMMY BAHAMA’S TROPICAL CAFE - Every Thu & Fri, Margie Heart 5:30-9:30pm; Every Sun & Sat, Howard Ahia 5:30-9:30pm; Mon, Greg Di Piazza 5:30-9:30pm; Wed, Merv Oana 5:309:30pm. (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-9983.
CENTRAL MAUI
MAUI COAST HOTEL - Thu, Kawika Lum Ho 6-9pm; Fri, Gina Martinelli 6-9pm; Sat, Ron Shadian 6-9pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm; Mon, Rama Camarillo 6-9pm; Tue, Mike and Mark 6-9pm; Wed, Steve Sargenti 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6284.
KAHULUI ALE HOUSE - Every Tue & Thu, Pi‘ilani Arias 5-8pm; Fri, Local Live Music 5-9pm; Sat, Ben Deleon 5-9pm; Sun, Live Music 5-8pm; Mon, Ben Deleon 5-8pm; Wed, Sheron Depont 5-8pm. (355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului); 808-877-9001.
MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Wed, Jarret Roback 7-9pm; Thu, Levi Poasa 4-6pm; Thu, Mike Finkiewicz & Craig Soderberg 7-9pm; Fri, Tom 4-6pm; Fri, Alika Naka‘oka 7-9pm; Sat, Brian Haia 4-6pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 7-9pm; Sun, Levi Poasa 4-6pm; Sun, Kilohana 7-9pm; Mon, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Mon, Joshua Kahula 7-9pm; Tue, Stay Eazy 4-6pm; Tue, Kilohana 7-9pm; Wed, Alika 4-6pm. (10 Wailea Gateway Pl.); 808-891-2322.
STEEL HORSE SALOON - Thu, Pub Quiz Night 7:30pm; Fri, Andy Kaina and the Kaina Kountry Band 8:30pm; Sat,Gina Martinelli 8:30pm; Sun, Karaoke 6pm. (1234 L. Main St., Wailuku) 808-245-2206.
MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu, Makai Jazz Group 7-9pm, Trish Da Dish Pub Quiz 9:30-12am; Fri, Soul Kitchen 7-9pm; Sat, Andrew Corradini 7-9pm; Sun, Celtic Tigers 7-10pm; Mon, Joyce & Gord 7-9pm; Tue, Willie K 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, TBA 7-9pm; (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131.
CASANOVA - Wed, DJ Kurt $5 cover before 11pm, $10 after; Fri, DJ Kurt and DJ Trevor $10 cover 10pm; 80’s Night with DJ Blast $5 cover before 10pm, $10 after(1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220
PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Mon, Twisted Hips Belly Dancing 6-8pm; Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 5:307:30pm. (34 Wailea Gateway Plaza); 808-879-7177. RITA’S - Thu, Uncle Ahtim 4-7pm; Sat, Dining and Dancing w/ Sargenti Hall Band 7-10pm; Sun, Steve Craig 3-6pm; Mon, Steve Craig 6:309:30pm; Tue, Country Western Night w/ Sargenti Hall Band 6:30-9:30pm; Wed, Ladies Night & Beatles Review w/ Steve Craig 6:30-9:30pm. (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-214-5788. SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Thur, Jamie Gallo 4-6pm; Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Sun, Viva La Rumba 4-6pm; Mon Kanoa 4-6pm; Tue, Steve Mantelli 4-6pm; Wed, Dan Hiss 4-6pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6444.
WATERCRESS - Thu, Fri, Sun, Mon, Tue, Wed, Free Karaoke; Sat, 70-80 DJ; (270 Waiehu Beach Rd., Ste 106, Wailuku) 808-243-9351.
UPCOUNTRY
CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT & SALOON - Mon, Charley’s Live Band 7-10pm; Tue, Howard Ahia 6:30-8:30pm; Andrew Corradini 6:30-8:30pm. (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085. FLATBREAD COMPANY - First Wednesday, Mark Johnstone & Justin Favell 5:30-8pm; Thu, Randall Rospond 5:30-8pm. (89 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8989. HANA HOU CAFE - Thu Kanekoa Trio 6-9pm; Fri, Steve Sargenti 6-9pm; Sat Meaghan Owens w/ John Pollack or Steve Grimes 6-9pm; Mon, Hula Honeys 6-9pm; Wed, Dorothy, Les & Vince Esquire 6:30-9pm. (810 Haiku Rd.); 808-575-2661. STOPWATCH SPORTSBAR AND GRILL - Thu & Sat, Karaoke With Dudley 9-12pm; Fri, The Vamp 8-12pm; (1127 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-1380.
JANUARY 8, 2015 27
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by Caeriel Crestin
Horoscope
Sign Language CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)
Welcome to the headlines, Capricorn. All of a sudden, your deeds are written in the biggest boldest font on everyone’s personal news page, and your greatest moments are being written up in your crowd’s annals of heroism or infamy. Since you’re astrologically scheduled for this kind of attention in the next couple weeks, if I were you I’d make sure my greatest acts were worthy of the front page, so I wasn’t too embarrassed when they put them there regardless. Go help an old lady cross the street or something so we don’t have to read anything lame, like, “Stingy Capricorn Lives Off Ramen Noodles for Three Weeks!”
CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)
My dad sent me a huge tin of butter cookies for Christmas, which have proceeded to haunt and tempt me for the past month. You’re facing a similar lure; you know what’s in front of you is no good for you, in the long or short-term, yet it’s so delicious, and so available, it’s almost impossible to say no. Believe me, I know. I’ve eaten half the tin by myself, and butter cookies are crap compared to what’s being presented to you on a silver platter. My only advice—do the equivalent of stuffing yourself so full of broccoli that you couldn’t eat another bite, not even of delicious, buttery cookie.
QUIZ understood
ANSWERS
...to questions from page 4
1: B–The electro sensory organ 2: C–22 times 3: E–$11-12.5 million
LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)
If you found maggots in your pudding, a fingernail in your salad, or cockroaches in the spaghetti sauce, it might very well kill your taste for those things forever, or at least a very long time. So I can understand why you’d be turned off to romance, after the distasteful things you’ve had to bite into and swallow. But please remember to not get too stuck on your past. Pudding, salad, or sauce made by a new cook is much less likely to be infested with unwanted ingredients. Don’t let your new connection be plagued by the same impurities as the one you just flushed. Cleanse your emotional palette and chow down.
You’re either useless or invaluable this week. There’s no middle ground for you proud Lions. So the trick is finding the niches where people will regard you as supremely indispensable, and avoiding the ones where you’ll just get in the way. This is simple, given your breadth of self-knowledge—as long as you don’t let your pride delude you. You have a tremendous repertoire of skills you can do adequately, but an average performance won’t cut it right now; it will, in fact get you in trouble. However, there are quite a few things you know you rock at—stay busy with those and you can’t go wrong.
tattoos by Rachel G
VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)
This is a good week to stand at the picket fence and gossip with your neighbor, Madge, about whose kids are the milkman’s. Or it would be, if you lived in another century. Some of your recent actions are hopelessly anachronistic, and while that’s endearing on some level, it’s not going to get you results, unless you find someone else who’s stuck in exactly the same decade as you. It’s hard for someone who loves old things, familiar faces and places, and the tried and true, to embrace the new. But unless you upgrade your outlook to cutting edge, your antiquated attitudes will put you right out of business.
Spice things up a little bit. We’re not talking the old standbys of salt, pepper, and Tabasco. Dip into slightly more exotic flavors, like cumin, paprika, or saffron. In other words, branch out. Don’t just make your same old familiar flavors mouth-scorchingly hot. Try some new ones. This is not something I usually need to encourage you to do, but since you’re feeling irrationally cautious without good reason, I thought I’d give you a friendly encouraging slap on the ass. When you stop growing, changing, and being willing to experience new things, that’s a kind of death. You’re nowhere near in danger of that, but your reticence does make you seem a bit…old. Prove me wrong: Open your mouth and say “Ah...”
ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)
Sure, you found a ladder all the way to the top. Too bad it’s made of breadsticks that would never support your weight. Still, I wouldn’t wait around to see if they get stronger as they get staler. What you have here is an amazing opportunity to see how to get where you want to go, even if this exact method won’t take you there. That’s all that’s been holding you back—knowledge, not a failure of strength, talent, or determination. Once you’ve figured out your route, you’ll be able to build your own, stronger ladder straight to the next level up, and climb it, unhindered, in no time. TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)
If it weren’t for the weather, this would be a great week to stroll naked in the streets. There’s just no shame in your game, these days, and it shows. This is a good thing. We’ve made some of the other bad signs stay after school, wash the chalkboards, and clap the erasers of your past. In other words, thanks to their diligence and your own creditability, you’ve got more or less a clean slate, at least in all the rooms you use most frequently. There might be a dark secret or two written in chalk on the walls of some basement storage closet but let’s not worry about that now. You’ve got some important lessons to teach (and learn), and now you have the space and time to do so. GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)
Don’t make things personal, or political. You’re in such a difficult, murky gray area. I don’t envy you the loselose situation you may find yourself in this week, since someone whose goodwill you desire will probably end up feeling betrayed. Sucks, but just remember this: When you’re asked to make judgment calls between your two best friends, your mom and dad, or your boss and coworker, your only real ally is the objective truth. If you play favorites, everyone will see through you, resent you, and lose respect for you. On the other hand, if you make the right call, the one in the wrong may hate you now, but forgive you soon.
LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)
You are the Spam Conqueror, the Missing Sock Finder, the Bad Breath Blaster. You are our hero, the everyschmo’s mutant, who can actually do something about our day-to-day miseries. Take that, X-men! There are those who may be far richer, more powerful, more beautiful, or supernaturally gifted. But can they keep our inboxes free of unwanted solicitations, discover the hideouts of our absent footwear, or eradicate the halitosis of our otherwise perfect dates? No! Don’t berate yourself for not having ten-inch adamantium claws, or being unable to control the weather. Your abilities are far more valuable to those around you.
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SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)
Your feet might as well be bolted to the floor when you make up your mind. A tsunami couldn’t move you without obliterating your whole damn house. Unfortunately a tidal wave of the magnitude coming your way has the power to uproot the building, and you with it. So, even if you don’t change your mind, you might want to play the “choose your battles” card and duck out of this fight. There’ll be plenty more skirmishes with the universe this year, and most of them you can actually win—but not if you get taken out in the first round. SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)
You are an ouroboros, a snake eating its own tail. That is, you’ve been devouring yourself slowly, just to keep going. But that self-destructive, if fascinating, behavior, is about to change, because new prey will soon present itself. Don’t go getting all predatory and mean, though; this new source of nourishment isn’t something you need to stalk and consume whole. S/he’s more like a fruit tree, giving you constantly replenishing pieces of himself or herself, without harm (karmic or otherwise) coming to either of you. It’s such a win-win (s/he wants to give you “fruit” just as much as you want to eat it), I’m quite envious.
JANUARY 8, 2015 29
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