20.43 Maui's First Tattoo Convention Sampson Harp April 6, 2017, Volume 20, Issue 43, MauiTime by MauiTimes

APRIL 6, 2017 ✚ VOLUME 20

CELEBRATING 20 YEARS OF INDEPENDENCE SINCE 1997

✚

ISSUE 43 ✚ FREE

MAUI’S FIRST

TATTOO

SHOW BOYCOTT

HAWAII CURE

PG.5

NEW PARK

CONCESSIONS

CYBORG PG.7

WHITEWASHED?

PG.20

VOTE ONLINE NOW

PLUS

The Paciﬁc Ink and Art Expo comes to Lahaina Civic Center

Celebrating “A Lifetime Party of Friends”

HENRY KAPONO & Friends Bring his songs of C&K back to the MACC

with Alx Kawakami, Johnny Valentine, Blayne Asing

Saturday, April 8 Castle Theater 7:30 PM TickEts: 242-SHOW MauiArts.org

Part of the MACC's award-winning

APRIL 6, 2017

series

Contents VOLUME 20 ✚ ISSUE 43

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: What’s the last soft drink you consumed?

ON THE COVER: CELEBRATING 20 YEARS OF INDEPENDENCE SINCE 1997

APRIL 6, 2017 ✚ VOLUME 20

✚

Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com Pepsi Graphic Designer: Jenn Carter Home-brewed Kombucha

SHOW PLUS

The Paciﬁc Ink and Art Expo comes to Lahaina Civic Center

BOYCOTT

HAWAII CURE

4 12 15 19 20 21 22 23 28 29 31

PG.5

NEW PARK

CONCESSIONS

PG.7

CYBORG WHITEWASHED?

PG.20

Admin Executive: Shannon Kekahuna (808) 244-0777 / shan@mauitime.com Water Proofreader: Dina Wilson

neck & back • knee & shoulder • ankle & elbow shin splints • plantar fasciitis • TMJ • ribs & hips

Cover Photo & Design By: Darris Hurst

NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY BEST OF MAUI BALLOT THIS WEEK’S PICKS FILM CRITIQUE FILM TIMES DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID CLASSIFIED HOROSCOPE MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Coca-Cola Contributors: Jenn Brown, Caeriel Crestin, Suzanne Kayian, Andrew Miller, Alex Mitchell, Foster Modesette, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II

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Culinary, Lifestyle & Business Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Generic cola

Licensed Naturopathic Physician Serving Maui since 1988

Mahalo to Samson Harp from Pacific Rootz Tattoo.

TATTOO

MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2017 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $110 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

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ISSUE 43 ✚ FREE

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Perrier Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Coca-Cola

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Register your old car as “Permanently Junked” at the DMVL and then deliver it to a metal recycling facility. Call Hammerhead Metals Recycling at (808) 280-8844 for information, fees, and hours.

MauiTime 16 S. Market St., Ste. 2K, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday 5pm Classified: Monday Noon Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

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APRIL 6, 2017

News & Views

by Anthony Pignataro

QUIZ understood

URGENT CARE • ACUTE INJURY • XRAY

County Government member Madge Schaefer filed a Sunshine Law complaint with the Office of Information Practices (OIP) against the Dept. of Liquor Control over their recent passage of new liquor laws. According to the story, what’s the backlog on OIP cases? A. At least a month B. At least three months C. At least six months D. At least a year E. At least two years

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1. On Mar. 29, which Maui legislator denounced the recent sale of Hawaiian artifacts in Paris as “irresponsible, unprofessional, and disrespectful to our culture?” A. Sen. J. Kalani English B. Sen. Gil Keith-Agaran C. Rep. Joe Souki D. Rep. Lynn DeCoite E. Rep. Kaniela Ing 2. The Maui News reported on Mar. 30 that former Special Committee on

Last week E.K. Fernandez announced that because of rising shipping costs, they had to cancel what would have been the second annual Maui Carnival. According to a Maui. 30 KITV story, how much have shipping costs risen for neighbor island fairs in the past three years? A. 20 percent B. 30 percent C. 40 percent D. 50 percent E. 60 percent

See answers, page 29

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APRIL 6, 2017

News & Views

by Sydney Iaukea

The Boycott Hawaii Cure

PHOTO COURTESY RON COGSWELL / FLICKR

How a New York Times writer got Hawaii so wrong

Image of Pele on display at Volcanoes National Park

he Mar. 21 New York Times article “The Hawaii Cure: A first trip to the island, in a desperate bid to escape the news” is hard to read. Beginning with the first night at the lu‘au where author Wells Tower is “hankering after something incontestably Hawaiian” and ending with him wanting to “poke lava with a stick” alongside other tourists at Kilauea, every stereotype and dismissal of a culture and people is encased in a simple description of the author’s vacation with his family, and then sent out for the world to read. Not surprising–because variances of this patronizing and dismissal tone presents itself in many publications that attempt to depict Hawai‘i–but hard to read all the same. It’s no wonder that, within the same week this article was published, #boycotthawaii was a thing and met with attitudes ranging from glee to invite (Yes, please boycott Hawai‘i) to encouragement from others (Yay! Hawai‘i). What was meant to be a scolding by Donald Trump fans that disagreed with a native Hawaiian federal judge’s ruling on Trump’s travel ban instead ignited encouragement from those who disagree with Trump. But both the scolding and the anti-Trump voices have it wrong. Hawai‘i is not yours to boycott, except in the limiting perspective of the “all welcoming” island spaces, put in place by a tourism industry that wants to profit. Boycott that. If you listened close enough to the responses of #boycotthawaii, a rendering of the historical facts would have perhaps influenced a questioning of narratives. Some cited the history and sovereignty of the Hawaiian Kingdom, the illegal overthrow of Queen Lili‘uokalani in 1893, and the subsequent and prolonged occupation of Hawai‘i, with the failure of the U.S. to secure a Treaty of Annexation in 1898. If you listened to the responses close enough, the appropriation and selling of Hawaiian

culture and places to the highest bidder, and to the largely adverse effects on both “natives” and places, were spoken loud and clear in the seemingly casual responses. Apparently Tower didn’t take the time to either ponder these responses, or to reflect on his recent attempt to take a “Hawaii cure” on “the island” (like there’s only one), whereby “the news” doesn’t happen. His rhetoric of “the island” stems from the same vein of insight that ponders if we have electricity here or if we still live in hale. They missed a couple of centuries of modernity in Hawai‘i, and then are surprised and more than a little taken aback when encountering the reality. Then, there are the valiant attempts to reconcile and piece together ideas of “nativeness” within an American genre. This article is multi-fold. One, reality can only be viewed through the lens of an American understanding of people and place. Two, within this perspective, the encounter is always favored by the privileged, those that can come and then leave, and with very little knowledge of or attempt to understand the actual places they are visiting. Finally, and to show cultural superiority, no real conversation (of “national” politics, or about anything) occurs outside of the continent. Tower begins with “Can it be true? The aloha spirit is real? Paradise on earth? An Eden of happy Americans moated from our national ravages of malevolence, contempt, uncertainty and fear?” Captioned after these questions is a photo of someone lounging, feet up, poolside at the Sheraton Waikiki. To cut to the heart of the matter, Haunani Kay Trask’s article “Lovely Hula Hands: Corporate Tourism and the Prostitution of Hawaiian Culture” has a direct response and analysis for his opening questions. “This fictional Hawai‘i comes out of the depths of Western sexual sickness which demands a dark, sinfree Native for instant gratification between imperialist wars,” she says. “The attraction of Hawai‘i is stimulated by slick Hollywood movies, sac-

charine Andy Williams music, and the constant psychological deprivations of maniacal American life. Tourists flock to my Native land for escape, but they are escaping into a state of mind while participating in the destruction of a host people in a Native place.” Unknowingly proving Trask’s thesis, Tower then takes us through five days of vacation on O‘ahu and Hawai‘i Island. After the mandatory lu‘au the first night where “’Aloha’ means last to the buffet,” Tower encounters a “fat and saucy cockroach” at the Waikiki Beach Hilton and “in the live-andlet-live aloha spirit,” decides not to “molest the animal.” Aloha is used as a throw away word as he searches for the highly reproduced and advertised “Hawaii cure.” The next day, Tower finds himself at the “Banzai Pipeline” where “The young and barely clad are out in force, demonstrating physiques that can only come from long and rigorous hours of ignoring national politics.” He also notices a photo shoot on the beach and the “professional butt” of a woman posing. Maybe discontent with his own physique, because in the midst of this scene he declares, “No way will I be bathing here,” the lay-around lifestyle he perceives is interjected with his attempts to be clever, but really displays his contempt and condescension for spaces he doesn’t understand. Continuing on their journey through the North Shore, Tower and his family stops at Kahuku Superette, which he describes as a “homely liquor shop/convenience store that from the outside is easily pictured in a newscast with police lights flashing on it.” The perceived dangerous side of Hawai‘i shines bright for Tower, and he attempts to counter these uneasy feelings with trying to find solace in the search for Americana. Having survived Kahuku Superette and the poke “sashimi salad,” the author wants to visit the Arizona Memorial but they are out of tickets. So instead, “we resolve to take in our nation of history with a trudge around the Makiki neighborhood where Barack Obama grew up.” Tower is distressed that there are no markers of Obama’s now famous stomping grounds, either at the former apartment building where his family once lived, or at the Baskin-Robbins where Obama worked. At the apartment building, Tower notices only “one (small-size) American flag,” while at Baskin-Robbins he remarks, “It is the sort of cramped little parlor that, if you had a job there, would make you sink into despair or go on to be the President.” This obsession with Americana blinds him to the environments in which he actually finds himself, except to remain alert for the themes. “Parking is free on the street, one of Makiki’s practical concessions to the paradise theme.” As though every inch of Hawai‘i should fit a paradise theme. After just two days, Tower and his family find themselves on Hawai‘i Island. They hit Ahalanui pond and the signs of warnings about entering this warm pond excites Tower. Here is the dan-

ger of the encounter to be overcome. For him, he does just that and finds solace. He exclaims, “The pond is excellent, maybe the closest I have ever found to my mind’s ideal of the great American swimming hole.” His interaction with the park, and with the life that occurs in the parking lot, brings him to Coconut Man No. 2 (because there was already an encounter with a Coconut Man No. 1). He allows that he could never actually live on Hawai‘i Island because this man selling coconuts attempts to rip him off by not returning $10 in change, thus “nipping a budding and inconvenient fancy that I might like to live here on the Big Island.” That’s all it took? A sauve talking coconut purveyor to turn you off to living here? What a lightweight. However, the curiosity of living on Hawai‘i Island does not wane, because apparently once you like something, you have to occupy it. He remarks, “Real estate in these parts would probably cost you a thumb.” And, when observing the houses, “While some of the citizens keep spectacular gardens, this is also a place where if you want to leave some old mattresses or an engine hoist in your yard, you just go ahead and do it.” As trivial these observations, it’s when Tower gets to Kilauea that he really displays how narrow his perspectives. Halemaumau crater, the summit of Kilauea, is the Hawai‘i home of Pele. “But who wants to glimpse lava from afar when you can get close enough to jab it with a stick?” This is where he watches “newborn wads of America bulge and slip toward the sea.” Finally, finally, Tower has to “put my back to the miraculous and get on with life.” Thus ending his vacation. Briefly miraculous, but the encounter surely lacking the cure he ultimately sought. In her own version, Haunani Kay Trask finishes her essay by plainly stating, “Now that you have heard a Native view, let me just leave this thought behind. If you are thinking of visiting my homeland, please don’t. We don’t want or need any more tourists, and we certainly don’t like them. If you want to help our cause, pass this message on to your friends.” She is asking for relief from the onslaught–not so different from the multitude of voices that manage to pierce the surface occasionally and ask for the same. The spontaneous pushback to a simple hashtag #boycotthawaii sparked a levity that many welcomed, as the encounter, voiced by Tower and others, continues to privilege the privileged. In dealing with the day-to-day reality and the multitude of negative effects that have plagued Hawai‘i since the last century, created and continued by the collusion of government interests with tourism (and military) entities, a relief from the onslaught would be a welcomed change. Change to actually be with both the miraculous and mundane. ■ editor@mauitime.com For more news articles, visit: mauitime.com/news

APRIL 6, 2017

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APRIL 6, 2017

News & Views

by Anthony Pignataro

PHOTO COURTESY SAVVY / FLICKR

Coconut Wireless

Ho‘okipa Beach Park

WILL MAUI COUNTY SOON HAVE CONCESSIONS AND SPONSORSHIPS IN ITS PUBLIC PARKS? In his 1996 novel Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace imagined a future in which everything corporations sponsored everything in society–including time itself. Numbered years gave way to the “Year of the Whopper,” “Year of the Tucks Medicated Pad,” “Year of the Trial-Size Dove Bar” and so forth. It’s funny on its face, but given government’s increasing reliance on corporate sponsorships, also extremely sarcastic. There was, of course, no mention of Jest at the Mar. 29 Maui County Council Budget & Finance Committee hearing, but the novel filled my thoughts during the deliberations. That’s because after nearly two hours of testimony and discussion, the committee voted 7-2 to start exploring the possibility of adding concessions and sponsorships to public parks in Maui County. Considered to be mere “enabling legislation,” the bill–titled “Concessions and Sponsorships in County Parks and Recreation Facilities”–contains no details about any future concession or sponsorship. But it does make it possible for the county Parks Department to begin the “awarding and administering of concessions and sponsorships, including contracts for pouring rights, advertising, vending machines, and parking,” according to the committee meeting agenda. It also allows for “sponsorship agreements” and establishes a fund “for the deposit of all funds received from concessions and sponsorships.” As to who has ultimate responsibility to approve any of these new corporate sponsorships, that would seem to be the County Council itself, Councilmember Don Guzman said during the hearing. It’s true, as Parks Department Deputy Director Brianne Savage noted during the hearing, that these days, even Maui’s public parks aren’t completely free of corporate influences. Pop-up concessions are legal today sports events. What’s more, youth league sports typically bring along their

own sponsorships, in which local businesses pay to outfit the team in exchange for putting their logo on the uniforms. But the hearing seemed to make clear that the thought that public parks should be free of big corporate advertising and influences and just be places where a person can go and not be a consumer is dead on Maui. “I’m looking at every single revenue source available to the county under state law,” Committee Chair Riki Hokama said during the hearing, adding that the Council has been talking about park concessions for 20 years. “If we go three to five years on pouring rights [the exclusive right to serve beverages at a venue or facility], there’s a potential for this county to get seven digits.” “Seven digits.” Hokama kept repeating those words during the hearing like he was some marketing guru. “The county can get seven digits a year in revenue,” Hokama would say. Later, Parks Department Director Ka‘ala Buenconsejo repeated that, saying the county could earn “upwards in the seven-digit range.” Buenconsejo added that his department has already received “numerous calls” from food truck operators around the island interested in park concessions. He said they could charge the trucks “$1,500 to $3,500” for a space at a park like Launiuopoko. Well, maybe. Buenconsejo’s comments were in response to a question from Councilmember Alika Atay, who had asked if the department had done a feasibility study on all this. “It all depends on the extent we

want to take it to,” Buenconsejo admitted, saying revenue would range from “millions of dollars to hundreds of thousands of dollars–but close to a million dollars.” The whole obsession with revenue that was driving the bill made sense–it wasn’t an accident that this was coming up in his Budget & Finance Committee, rather than the Parks, Recreation, Energy and Legal Affairs Committee or even the Policy, Economic Development and Agriculture Committee. Foremost on Hokama’s mind was clearly Mayor Alan Arakawa’s recent proposal for an across-the-board 7.5 percent hike in property taxes. “This is not intended to replace names,” Hokama said at one point, in reference to the part of the bill that deals with sponsorships and naming rights. “It was never the intent to close off beaches or shut down beaches. Just this–does it make sense for the county to consider concessions? Sister counties make a lot of money on pouring rights.” Savage, the deputy Parks Department director, echoed that statement about the near-universality of sponsorships and concessions. “This is really common in other municipalities,” Savage said. “We don’t want to be like every other municipality in the United States,” Councilmember Kelly King countered. “We’re Maui.” Of course, Savage was right. Corporate sponsorships are a big deal around the world, and they’re getting bigger (in 2010, Levi Strauss even sponsored an entire city–Braddock, Pennsylvania–as part of a deal that brought the town more than $1 million). According to a 2016 report from IEG, which tracks corporate sponsorships, total global spending on them rose from $51.1 billion in 2012 to $57.5 billion in 2015. Another organization, NamePlace.com, acts as a facilitator between corporations (which it calls “brands”) and municipalities (“neighborhoods”) in arranging sponsorships. “Neighborhoods, where soccer games happen, swim competitions take place, evening walks occur and baseball games are played, represent the very definition of community,” NamePlace states on its website. “Now, brands can engage with these audiences. The neighborhoods will decide who to let in, but there is no shortage of high-integrity and high-impact possibilities.

Overheard “It takes a long time to grow that tall.” -Girl in Kaanapali, Mar. 31

We’re not going to replace all the tax revenue lost in the recession. But we’re going to do a lot more than another bake sale ever could.” For most city and county officials across the country, this is an extremely attractive message. Why raise taxes when you can just plaster corporate logos on scoreboards and bleachers? And really, where’s the harm in allowing Dairy Queen to get a little of that brand engagement at, say, the ball field on Lanai (an actual example used by Guzman during the hearing) if it results in the kids getting a new scoreboard? As it turned out, King ended up being one of just two councilmembers to oppose the bill (the other was Bob Carroll). Indeed, though Hokama first introduced the bill back in October 2016, I didn’t hear anything about it until Friday, Mar. 24, when King appeared at a Honolulu Civil Beat gathering at UH Maui College and denounced it (as well as the general lack of attention around it). At one point during the Mar. 29 hearing, King mentioned that the whole naming rights portion of the bill was confusing because “everything that’s already named can’t be changed.” Savage responded that the issue seemed to be nothing more than terminology. “We’re talking about presenting sponsors,” Savage said. She then gave the following example: Coca-Cola comes to the county and offers $10 million for the Kihei Community Center. The posted sponsorship would then read “Coca-Cola Presents the Kihei Community Center.” King then told Savage that her example didn’t really make her feel better. In fact, she even said she’d support the bill if the whole sponsorships portion was gone–something Savage said the Parks Department could live with. But as it turned out, that wasn’t necessary. Seven members voted to approve the entire bill, which included a late amendment from Guzman that added the same naming criteria currently used by the county Public Works Commission to the bill. The bill is now free to proceed to the County Council itself. Though most of the members of the public who testified on the bill did so under the apparently mistaken belief that the bill would eliminate CORA (Commercial Ocean Recreation Activity) permits–both Councilmember Guzman and Parks Director Buenconsejo stated that the bill does no such thing–Hi-Tech Surf Sports owner Kim Ball did testify against the bill on its merits. “We would be a prime candidate to bid on a contract, but I oppose this,” said Ball. “Our parks are already maxed-out. The limited space is going to get squeezed even more. Are tourists asking for rentals at our parks? Maui is not Waikiki.” ■ editor@mauitime.com + @apignataro For more news articles, visit: mauitime.com/news

APRIL 6, 2017

News & Views

by Anthony Pignataro & Foster Modesette

PHOTO COURTESY ICE

MauiSphere

The Icemen cometh

ACLU HAWAII ASKS COUNTY TO RESIST TRUMP’S DEPORTATION EFFORTS

to a limited number of advertisers between now and May 31, 2017.” Apparently, the growth of Maui Bus ridership means that we can now share in even more advertising. “We are excited to bring a high quality transit advertising program to Maui for the first time,” said Jeff De Innocentis, owner of Stone Jetty Advertising, in the press release. “Maui is an excellent market for interior bus ads because of continuous growth among a wide demographic of bus riders.” Oh boy! Now bus riders can stare at ads inside the bus during their rides! You know, instead of staring at their phones or off into the passing distance or at that one jittery guy in the back. Of course, the reason for this is the same one that’s driving the county to sell off park sponsorships–it needs money. “The County of Maui is trying to be more fiscally responsible thereby looking at other means for revenue generation than just raising taxes,” said Don Medeiros, county Transportation Director, in the news release. “We are excited for this opportuni-

-Foster Modesette

MAUI BUS ADS COMING SOON! Wow, looks like the County of Maui is throwing everything it’s got into advertising. While I was in the process of writing this week’s story about how the Maui County Council Budget & Finance Committee just approved a bill that would open up public parks and facilities to concessions and sponsorship agreements (see page 7), I received a press release from Massachusettsbased Stone Jetty Advertising. “The County of Maui has gotten its first transit advertising program. Stone Jetty Advertising, which manages the program for Maui Bus, has announced the launch of its pilot program,” stated the press release. “The pilot will provide preferred pricing

Does this look like Hawaii to you?

ty and look forward to working with Stone Jetty Advertising.” And we look forward to future County of Maui plans to sell advertising on beach sand (“It’s literally dirt cheap!”), road intersections (“Our rates will drive you crazy!”) and on the backs of Axis deer (“Ask me about our delicious six-month contracts!”).

PHOTO COURTESY WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

-Anthony Pignataro

HAWAIIAN AIRLINES SAYS THIS NEW CABIN LOOKS LIKE HAWAII

Now with more ads!

temporary design. You will be immersed in the spirit of Hawaii the moment you step on board, while experiencing the best in cabin comfort, with roomy seats and inseat power everywhere.” Now I’ll admit that when I first looked at this photo, I didn’t really see a lot of inspiration from “Hawaii’s craft and cultural traditions.” Honestly, I didn’t see a lot of Hawaii (unless they were talking about the Apple Store in Waikiki). So I showed to others in the office. “Huh,” said Culinary, Lifestyle and Business Editor Jen Russo. “Hawaii? You mean because it has those wavy lines on the seats?” According to an April 3 news release from Hawaiian Airlines, the interior’s textiles “pay homage to traditional Hawaiian crafts, from bark cloth (kapa) to fishing nets.” Signage apparently uses the Hawaiian language, and there are “unexpected textures” and “custom floor and wall laminates” in the lavatories (I don’t know about you, but “unexpected textures” in ANY lavatory are usually bad). And there’s also

PHOTO COURTESY HAWAIIAN AIRLINES

President Donald Trump’s continued assault on immigration has led to the implementation of ‘deportation forces’ across the country. These units have attempted to draft local law enforcement officials from every state, including Hawaii. To combat this, the American Civil Liberties Union of Hawaii (ACLU) sent letters to officials in every Hawaii county, warning of the consequences these deportation forces create. “We ask that the County of Maui not become an accomplice to the Trump Administration’s agenda of division and fear,” states the ACLU’s Mar. 23 letter, which was sent to Mayor Alan Arakawa, Council Chair Mike White, Corporation Counsel Patrick Wong and Police Chief Tivoli Faaumu. “We also offer our support in efforts to resist the pressure from the Trump Administration, and assistance where the County of Maui may seek to refine its policies and practices in this area.” The letter focused on two primary con-

cerns: Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) detainers, which have asked local law enforcement to detain people for an additional 48 hours, without legal authority or probable cause, and participation in the 287(g) program; a program which allows the federal government to deputize local police as ICE agents, without the necessary training. Both these policies are voluntary, though it’s not hard to see how they could be used in malicious ways. “People across the country are urging local governments to stand up to Trump’s dangerous immigration agenda, which seeks to indiscriminately tear communities and families apart,” said ACLU Hawaii Legal Director Mateo Caballero said in the press release. County Communications Director Rod Antone didn’t respond to our request for comment on the ACLU letter.

Here’s a shot of the cabin of the new Hawaiian Airlines A321neo. The airline says that, if you look really carefully, this cabin is evocative of Hawaii. “Drawing inspiration from a proud heritage and shining a light into the future,” states a Hawaiian Airlines webpage on the new A321neo cabins. “Inspired by Hawaii’s craft and cultural traditions, this cabin expresses our heritage through bold, con-

a “full LED mood-lighting system” that will “evoke Hawaii’s unmatched sunrises and sunsets, enhancing the guest’s mood at each stage along their journey.” Seriously, none of this should surprise me. This is, after all, the same airline that limits passengers to traveling with no more than two surfboards in their baggage–a policy that has drawn protests from people like Hurley founder Bob Hurley and surfers Kelly Slater and Dusty Payne. “[Hurley] said on Instagram that he wasn’t allowed to bring three surfboards in a single board bag, even though they were all small and fell under the weight restriction,” states a Aug. 5, 2016 Hawaii News Now story. “He offered to pay extra, but was still denied.” -Anthony Pignataro ■ editor@mauitime.com For more news articles, visit: mauitime.com/news

APRIL 6, 2017

by Chuck Shepard

News & Views

News Of The Weird Dr. Juleff is triple board certiﬁed by the American Board of Venous and Lymphatic Medicine, American Board of Surgery, and American Board of Thoracic Surgery.

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LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION A highlight of the recent upmarket surge in Brooklyn, N.Y., as a residential and retail favorite, was the asking price for an ordinary parking space in the garage at 845 Union Street in the Park Slope neighborhood: $300,000 (also carrying a $240-a-month condominium fee and $50 monthly taxes). That’s similar to the price of actual one-bedroom apartments in less ritzy Brooklyn neighborhoods like Gravesend (a few miles away).

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Saginaw, Michigan, defense lawyer Ed Czuprynski had beaten a felony DUI arrest in December, but was sentenced to probation on a lesser charge in the incident, and among his restrictions was a prohibition on drinking alcohol–which Czuprynski acknowledged in March that he has since violated at least twice. However, at that hearing (which could have meant jail time for the violations), Czuprynski used the opportunity to beg the judge to remove the restriction altogether, arguing that he can’t be “effective” as a lawyer unless he is able to have a drink now and then. (At press time, the judge was still undecided.)

FINE POINTS OF THE LAW Residents in southern Humboldt County, California, will vote in May on a proposed property tax increase to fund a community hospital in Garberville to serve a web of small towns in the scenic, sparsely populated region, and thanks to a county judge’s March ruling, the issue will be explained more colorfully. Opponent Scotty McClure was initially rebuffed by the registrar when he tried to distribute, as taxpayer-funded “special elections material,” contempt for “Measure W” by including the phrase “(insert fart smell here)” in the description. The registrar decried the damage to election “integrity” by such “vulgarity,” but Judge Timothy Cissna said state law gives him jurisdiction only over “false” or “misleading” electioneering language.

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News of the Weird has written several times (as technology progressed) about Matt McMullen’s “RealDoll” franchise–the San Marcos, California, engineer’s richly detailed flexible silicone mannequins that currently sell for $5,500 and up (more with premium custom features). Even before the recent success of the very humanish, artificially intelligent (AI) android “hosts” on TV’s “Westworld,” McMullen revealed that his first AI doll, “Harmony,” will soon be available with a choice of 12 “personalities,” including “intellectualism” and “wit,” to mimic an emotional bond to add to the sexual. A recent University of London conference previewed a near future when fake

women routinely provide uncomplicated relationships for lonely (or disturbed) men. (Recently, in Barcelona, Spain, a brothel opened offering four “realdolls” “disinfected after each customer”–though still recommending condoms.)

WHICH MOVIE?! Scientists at Columbia University and the New York Genome Center announced that they have digitally stored (and retrieved) a movie, an entire computer operating system and a $50 gift card on a single drop of DNA. In theory, wrote the researchers in the journal Science, they might store, on one gram of DNA, 215 “petabytes” (i.e., 215 million gigabytes–enough to run, say, 10 million HD movies) and could reduce all the data housed in the Library of Congress to a small cube of crystals.

GOVERNMENT IN ACTION An office in the New York City government, suspicious of a $5,000 payment to two men in the 2008 City Council election of Staten Island’s Debi Rose, opened an investigation, which at $300 an hour for the “special prosecutor,” has now cost the city $520,000, with his final bill still to come. Despite scant “evidence” and multiple opportunities to back off, the prosecutor relentlessly conducted months-long grand jury proceedings, fought several court appeals, had one 23-count indictment almost immediately crushed by judges, and enticed state and federal investigators to (fruitlessly) take on the Staten Island case. In March, the city’s Office of Court Administration finally shrugged and closed the case.

IRONIES A chain reaction of fireworks in Tultepec, Mexico, in December had made the San Pablito pyro marketplace a scorched ruin, with more than three dozen dead and scores injured, leaving the town to grieve and, in March, to solemnly honor the victims–with even more fireworks. Tultepec is the center of Mexico’s fireworks industry, with 30,000 people dependent on explosives for a living. Wrote The Guardian, “Gunpowder” is in “their blood.”

MISCELLANEOUS ECONOMIC INDICATORS “Bentley” the cat went missing in Marina Del Rey, California, on Feb. 26 and as of press time had not been located–despite a posted reward of $20,000. (A “wanted” photo is online, if you’re interested.) And British snack food manufacturer Walkers advertised in February for a part-time professional chip taster, at the equivalent of $10.55 an hour. And an Australian state administrative tribunal awarded a $90,000 settlement after a cold-calling telemarketer sold a farm couple 2,000 ink cartridges (for their one printer) by repeated pitches. ■

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he gorgeous cedar playhouse at Kamalii Elementary School that you destroyed was loved by the preschool class. It was acquired through the hard work of teachers and

generous community donations, and was there just two weeks before you smashed it. To the class of children aged three, four and five–many of whom had developmental disabilities–it wasn’t just a playhouse. It was a place of hope, joy and imagination. It was their pancake house, shave ice stand and even home. Are you happy that we and they were devastated to come to school Monday morning and find it in pieces? ■

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APRIL 6, 2017

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SHOW The Paciﬁc Ink and Art Expo comes to Lahaina Civic Center By Jen Russo PHOTO BY DARRIS HURST

here’s no other place where art, music and culture come together like a tattoo convention. And now Maui is getting it’s own convention. In fact, this weekend the team responsible for Oahu’s successful Pacific Ink and Art Expo is bringing the expo to Maui. Artists and tattoo royalty come from around the world to share their craft next to great music and food, all in a family-friendly environment. Tens of thousands of people typically attend the three-day expo on Oahu. It’s special because they focus on the Polynesian tradi-

12 APRIL 6, 2017

tion of tattoos and wanted to share that from the beginning. “The core team that started the expo is Kevin Read, Greg Frey, Tama Hall, and myself, Danny Casler,” says Danny Casler. “Growing up here in Hawaii we wanted to do something that was different than any other tattoo convention out there. That was creating an event that centered around Hawaiian and Pacific Islander culture. That is something we are really passionate about. Sharing the culture of the place we grew up in. When we threw out this idea to tattoo artists, we said,

‘Hey, this is what we are thinking of doing, would you support this?’ The support that came back was just overwhelming. People were like, ‘Absolutely, we don’t really have anything that showcases our culture or the traditional forms of tattooing.’ Modern tattooing has been the focal point, especially on the TV shows. So we did it and it was a huge success right off the bat.” Casler had worked as a manager for a tattoo artist on LA Ink, and they had traveled to Sydney to work at a tattoo show. It made a big impression on him.

“When I was in Australia I noticed that this event had thousands of people and hundreds of vendors,” says Casler. “I thought, wow, this is really awesome to have this environment where everyone can come together that have similar interests in music, tattoo, motorcycles, cars and that whole culture. When I got home, I rounded up some friends and said we should do this.” The team agreed, and started working out the details. “It’s one of those things where it was all trial by fire,” says Casler. “We had to

PHOTO BY MELISSA KUMANU

Megan Jones tattooing at Pacific Ink and Art Expo

that. They love being able to share camaraderie with the other artists here in Hawaii. They love the fact that all the people in Hawaii are very grateful to see them, and don’t make them feel uncomfortable. I think that’s the Hawaii way. We don’t have that whole starstruck thing going on over here. They appreciate the normality of it. They are also gracious and tattoo guests and sign autographs, take pictures. They integrate themselves into the show.” The expo is very involved in the community, wanting to emphasize that the Pacific Ink and Art Expo is a family-friendly outing. This year, the expo has teamed up with Lahainaluna High School and will give three $500 scholarships to deserving young students as well as donating to the the basketball team. They also work with the blood bank and food bank and many other local charities. “We celebrate, share and create all forms of tattoo, no matter what,” says Casler. “The foundation is basically the Polynesian culture from Hawaii, Samoa, Tonga, New Zealand, where tattooing originated from. From Polynesia it spread to Japan and America. That is where you find guys like Sailor Jerry who went to Japan and studied the Japanese artists and was fascinated by their work. What happens is it started as one form and that’s why you hear the word ‘tribal.’ That tribal

jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more A&E articles, visit: mauitime.com/entertainment

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Pacific Ink and Art Expo Friday, April 7 2pm: Doors open 5pm: Mike Love, PeniDean, Maoli

Saturday, April 8 11am: Doors open 5pm: Mahkess,The Vitals, Awa Koa, Ekolu

Sunday, April 9 11am: Doors open 1:30pm: Kanekoa, Braddah Waltah Get tickets at Hawaiitattooexpo.com, $25/day, $60 3 day pass, kids 12 and under are free.

PHOTO BY JAYMI BRITTEN

sit down with politicians and explain to them why this is important for the culture and for the state as a revenue source and why it’s good for tourism. They got it right away. They said, ‘this is a great idea and we’re going to support you guys.’ Last year, the State of Hawaii awarded us a plaque of excellence for being a small business that contributes to the culture of Hawaii. We wanted to do something really good for the artists of Hawaii and the people of Hawaii.” Surprisingly, coming to Maui five years later has proven more of a challenge. Casler says the County of Maui’s permitting process is not as straightforward as Oahu, making planning their vision more difficult. He says the expo is already over budget from jumping through last-minute bureaucratic hoops. Nevertheless, the expo folks think it’s worth it and are happy to share their vision with the Valley Isle. “Our goal is to do this every single year,” says Casler. “We would like to do this just like Oahu. We would like to say that we are going to be here for 10 yearsplus. It really matters that Maui sees this as something they want to be a part of.” The expo has three days of more than 60 tattoo artists coming from all around the world, a full line-up of musical guests performing everyday, vendors booths, food booths and keiki entertainment. I’ve attended the Oahu Pacific Ink and Art Expo in the past, and love the buzz that comes from seeing so much art, tattooing and music align. Having the expo here on Maui will be a great time to see artists from Maui I don’t get to see all in one place. It will also be a chance to seek out visiting artists and enjoy some great entertainment. Tattoo celebrities that will be here include Sulu‘ape Keone Nunes and Keli‘i Makua, Sampson Hart from Pacific Rootz Tattoo, Jason Lawyer from Inkmasters and BMX motocross superstars Mike Castillo and Mike Metzger. “The celebrities come to our show because they love being a part of this event,” says Casler. “The feedback we get from them–if you go to any other tattoo convention–is that celebrities are treated differently. They are put on a pedestal or used as props. For us, we don’t do that. We just say, ‘hey, you’re just a normal person here like anybody else.’ They love being treated like

form is a traditional form to find what group you are from. Then when you look at that tattoo, it indicated genealogy or their family or where they are from. After those styles became shared and modernized, everybody started incorporating different styles into their artwork. Now you have artists doing a realistic tattoo that looks like it’s going to jump off your body. From where it started in the most rudimentary form, which was animal bone, tortoise shell and a stick, with burnt ash for ink, it’s now a multi-billion dollar industry. We want to merge all of those into one. So the new guys can come to our show from the mainland or from around the world and actually see that you can have a machine in your hand and make a living and take care of your family. These are the guys that are still carrying on this tradition. Which may not be the most popular method or the easiest method, but it’s rooted in their culture, and this is how it is done.” The Pacific Ink and Art Expo will be held at the Lahaina Civic Center Friday to Sunday. Tickets are $25 per day or $60 for all three days (kids 12 and under are free). There will be giveaways, temporary tattoo for the keiki, henna tattoos, cosmetic tattoos and more. For more information and to reserve tickets, go to Hawaiitattooexpo.com. ■

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Best Of Maui Awards Ballot It’s that time again We know you hold the key to the BEST OF MAUI. It’s your year round perseverance and diligent research on where to eat, where to play, the best shops on the island, and which political scandal takes the cake for 2017. The time you’ve been waiting for is finally here. Cast your vote for your favorite shops, restaurants and community highlights in the MauiTime Best of Maui and be heard! As usual, categories are organized into five sections: arts & entertainment; food & drink; goods & services; politics & environment; and sports & leisure. We’ve added some new categories this spice things up, but you’ll still his year to sp find all the old standbys. Please VOTE CATEGORIES if you TE E IN AT LEAST 40 CATEGO want your ballot to be counted. Voting ng g ends May Ma 19th.

A FEW NOTES ABOUT BALLOT STUFFING: While most people play it straight, every year a few nefarious folks attempt to stuff the ballot box. To cut down on this, and to ensure the results are fair and accurate, here are a few rules:

★ ONLY ONE (1) BALLOT PER PERSON ★ ALL BALLOTS MUST BE SIGNED ★ NO PHOTOCOPIED BALLOTS WILL BE ACCEPTED

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YOU MUST FILL OUT 40 CATEGORIES FOR YOUR VOTE TO COUNT! NOTE: In categories with the LOCAL stamp, only votes for locally owned businesses will be counted; no corporate chains. VOTE ONLINE AT: HTTP://MAUITIME.COM/BALLOT/ OR YOU MAY MAIL YOUR BALLOT TO: 16 S. Market St., Suite 2K, Wailuku, HI 96793

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MAUITIME’S GREEN ISSUE IS ALMOST HERE! These days, it’s fashionable for people and companies to label themselves “green” for marketing purposes. But most are more concerned with brand recognition than in doing what’s best for the environment. That’s why each year, Mauitime’s Green Issue focuses on individuals and organizations who are truly making Maui more ecologically sustainable.

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GOODS & SERVICES

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Picks

by Alex Mitchell

This Week's Picks THURSDAY, APR. 6

FRIDAY, APR. 7 COLBIE CAILLAT – Colbie Caillat will perform at the MACC. C. e She’s a multiplatinum singer and songwriter, and has sold more than 20-million singles worldwide. Known for her expressive lyrics and sweet melodies, she’ll play songs from her recent album Malibu Sessions, a collection of ballads said to recall ‘70s rockk 1 vibes. $45-125. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 g. Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy the MACC

ART MAUI – Art Maui presents its 39th annual juried exhibit at the Maui Arts and Cultural Center (MACC), which runs through Sunday, April 30. There will be a variety of art on display including drawing, painting, printmaking, photography, jewelry, fiber and sculpture. This year, Art Maui introduces Sally French–the owner of Double Dog Dare Studio on Kauai–as the the distinguished juror. Free. 9am. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Artmaui.com. Photo courtesy of Rosina Potter

FRIDAY, APR. 7 WOMAN WITHIN WEEKEND – Maui’s Woman Within Weekend will take place at YMCA’s Camp Keanae today until Sunday, April 9. Woman Within Weekend offers many varied opportunities for women to find their power and reclaim their wholeness. The event will feature experiential activities, individual and group work, guided meditations and more. Scholarships and payment plans are available. $775. 8am. Camp Keanae, (13375 Hana Hwy., Haiku); 808-2488355; Ymcacampkeanae.org. Photo: Flickr/ home thods

HOPE JAHREN – Hope Jahren, a geochemist and geobiologist, will be in the Green Room at the MACC. For this edition of the Merwin Conservancy’s event, guests will enjoy an fascinating environmental salon with Jahren, an award-winning scientist and author of Lab Girl. After the presentation, there will be a Q&A, book signing, book fair, live music and courtyard reception with dessert and champagne. $10 for students with a valid ID, $25 for general admission. 7pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Mauiarts.org. Photo: Ressler Photography

FRIDAY, FR R ID I DA AY Y APR Y, APR. 7 PAC PACIFIC INK AND ART EXPO – Maui’s first Pacific Ink Tattoo Expo will happen at th the Lahaina Civic Center. It starts today and runs through Sunday, April 9. Cruise f a tattoo by local and visiting artists or just check out art displays, contests, by for ven vendors, keiki activities and live entertainment. More than 100 tattooers are on the bill including Akiu Sale, Keone Nunes, Keli‘i Makua, Yasmine Anderson, Brandon Holokai, Rachel G, Big Gus, Samson Harp and lots more. There will also be live music with Mike Love, Maoli, Ekolu, Kanekoa, PeniDean, Braddah Waltah and a variety of DJs. $25-60. 11am-10pm. Lahaina Civic Center, (1840 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); Hawaiitattooexpo.com. Photo by Darris Hurst

KAIOLA GALA – The Kaiola Gala Fundraiser will be at the Maui Ocean Center. Support the mission of Maui Ocean Center’s Marine Institute in preserving rare endemic corals, rescuing and rehabilitating the Green Hawaiian Sea Turtles. Enjoy a night of oceanic support with cocktails and pupus, a catered dinner, live and silent auctions. The keynote speaker will be Kimi Werner and there’ll be live music from Kaulike Pescia. $125. 6:30pm. Maui Ocean Center, (192 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-270-7061; Mauioceancenter.com. Photo courtesy of Facebook/Maui Ocean Center Marine Institute

SATURDAY, APR. 8

FRIDAY, APR. 7 DUCKHORN VINEYARDS DINNER PAIRING – Duckhorn Vineyard is hosting a Dinner Pairing with Chef Lee Anderson at Sugar Beach Events. Chef Anderson will create a delicious multi-course meal to accompany wine tastings from six of the Duckhorn Vineyards wine projects. Seating is limited to 40, so RSVP in advance. 21+. $125. 5:30pm. Sugar Beach Events, (85 N. Kihei Rd.); 808856-6151; Sugarbeacheventshawaii.com. Photo courtesy Sylvia Kikuyama

MENEHUNE MAYHEM – Ian Walsh’s Red Bull Menehune Mayhem will take place at Ho‘okipa Beach Park. This is a great chance to see talented keiki compete on Ho‘okipa’s challenging waves. This annual family friendly event is always an awesome time and includes games and activities, celebrity surfer judges, live music, food, giveaways, prizes and more. 7:30am. Ho‘okipa Beach Park, (Mile 9, Hana Hwy., Paia); Menehunemayhem.org. Photo courtesy of Facebook/ Ian Walsh’s Menehune Mayhem

SATURDAY, APR. 8 EGGSTRAVAGANSA – You and your family can enjoy Eggstravagansa at the Maui Mall. This Easter event will feature live entertainment with Maui’s Keiki Party Stars and Girl Meets Boy, Easter bunny photos, crafts, glitter tattoos, balloon animals, giveaways and lots of festive holiday celebrations. Free. 11am. Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; Mauimall.com. Photo: Flickr/Lauren Jarman

SATURDAY, APR. 8

FANTASIA BALL – Imua Family Services’ Fantasia Ball “Platinum Jubilee” will be at the Hyatt Regency in Ka‘anapali. They’ll be celebrating their 70th anniversary of helping Maui families in need with a starpowered gala, gourmet dinner, live music, auctions and dancing. This year, there will be performances by Tony Award winner Adrienne Warren and the Eric Gilliom Band. Right after the gala, there’s also Platinum After Party. $200-5,000. 5:30pm. Hyatt Regency Maui Resort, (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-661-1234; Maui.hyatt.com. Photo courtesy Imua Family Services

SUNDAY, APR. 9 HEATHER NOVA – Musician Heather Nova will perform at Seabury Hall’s A‘ali‘ikuhonua Creative Arts Center. She’ll be accompanied by Arnulf Lindner, a cellist and multi-instrumentalist. There will also be a guest appearance by Mishka, complimentary kombucha cocktails and gourmet treats by Maui Raw. $45-100. 6pm. A‘ali‘ikuhonua Creative Arts Center, (Seabury Hall, Makawao); 808-572-7235; Seaburyhall.org. Photo courtesy of Facebook/Heather Nova

HENRY KAPONO – Henry Kapono’s Songs of C&K show will be at the MACC. This will be a fabulous night of music with the legendary Henry Kapono and a crew of his friends, too. Check out Kapono alongside fellow musicians Johnnie Valentine, Alx Kawakami and Blayne Asing. $15-55. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy the MACC

WEDNESDAY, APR. 12

SUNDAY, APR. 9 WILLIAM SINGE – William Singe will perform at the MACC. He’s a singer, songwriter and music producer who got his start after appearing on the fourth season of The X-Factor Australia in 2012. He’ll be accompanied by Alex Aiona, so this will surely be an amazing evening of inspiring musical talent. $25-125. 7pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy Facebook/William Singe

BIKER BARRE – Biker Barre will happen at the Grand Wailea Resort. This fitness class will feature a combination of cycling and barre method moves. The class will be the perfect fusion of health and wellness for a fit and active lifestyle, so if you’re loving all the rage of barre and cycling classes, this is for you. After the class, students are invited to rehydrate and mingle with other bikers and barre-istas at Bistro Molokini. Class admission includes the fitness class and two drinks. $25. 5:30pm. Grand Wailea, (3850 Wailea Alanui); 808-875-1234; Grandwailea.com. Photo courtesy of Biker Barre Eventbrite page

APRIL 6, 2017 19

Film

by Barry Wurst II

Major Glitches Whitewashed ‘Ghost in the Shell’ isn’t worth your time ★★★★★ Rated PG13 / 107 Min.

upert Sanders’ adaptation of the celebrated manga and anime film Ghost in the Shell has many of the same assets and drawbacks of his prior film Snow White and the Huntsman. Both feature a high profile actress playing a powerful lead and great visuals, but leave you with precious little when the lights come up. Scarlett Johansson stars as Major, a robot whose soul exists within her human mind. Major works as a terrorist-battling soldier but suffers “glitches” that provide clues to her mysterious origins. Purely as a visual experience, it’s top notch, especially on the big screen. The obvious Blade Runner, The Matrix and manga influences have merged to create rich, jaw dropping vistas. As a story, it leaves a far colder, muted effect. I never grew emotionally engaged in Major’s dilemma, didn’t hate the villain and wasn’t captivated by the narrative I missed reading Masamune Shirow’s 1989 serial manga but did catch the 1995 anime adaptation of Ghost in the Shell when

it first arrived stateside. It oddly gave me the same impression as the 2017 remake: great action, splendid visuals but an overly familiar story with concepts better explored elsewhere. Numerous others film are better portraying humanity existing within a machine. To name just a few: the recent Ex Machina, the classic Metropolis, Steve Spielberg’s wondrous A.I. Artificial Intelligence, Paul Verhoeven’s perfect RoboCop and Ridley Scott’s probably unbeatable Blade Runner. Those films leave the eyes and mind spellbound. Ghost in the Shell, both versions, are like my first VCR: attractively produced but outdated. Far more worthy of note is the 2004 anime sequel, Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence. That film is among the most stunning animated works I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching and is worth seeking out, even for non-fans of the genre. This oddly plays less as a live-action anime and more of a mainstream, less mysterious redo of Johansson’s Under the Skin, another vehicle for the actress in which she plays an evolving human soul existing in an alien guise. Both films share creation sequences and peek-a-boo nude scenes of its star. Johansson does what she can as Major and

The rebooted version of the boardgame Operation! looks cool though

looks great doing it but her performance and role are limited. Also, what the heck is Juliette Binoche doing in this? It appears the English Patient Oscar winner is making an awkward, ill-advised and belated attempt to embrace making Hollywood movies. Somebody please stop her before she pops up in RED 3 or some other nonsense. Many have accused this production of “white washing,” as Caucasian performers have been insensitively added to an Asian story. The accusation is valid, though the choices made here are downright puzzling. Johansson, one of the biggest movie stars on the planet and one of the few actresses who can open an action movie, has been cast as Major instead of a Japanese actress. It makes sense as a commercial choice, but Johansson has been miscast, both as a robot

and an Asian. The overall approach to creating a mostly English-language, Japan-set thriller is murky. The great “Beat” Takeshi Kitano sports a bad haircut and, unlike his other co-stars, recites his dialogue in Japanese. Nearly everyone else speaks English, despite kanji written everywhere. The attempts to westernize this Japanese story are downright confusing. Sanders’s film is much better than the live action Aeon Flux and so gorgeously produced (with vibrant CGI in every scene), the art direction alone justifies its existence. Still, while Ghost in the Shell starts strong and has well-staged, wham-bam action, it doesn’t leave much of an impression. Both impressively weird and intellectually lackluster, it delights the senses as you watch it, but your brain will hit DELETE on the drive home. ■

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20 APRIL 6, 2017

Maui Tacos was the first Fast Casual Mexican restaurant in the Islands, founded by famed Pacific Rim Chef, Mark Ellman. The first store opened in Napili Bay in 1993, fusing the bold flavors of Mexico with the exotic taste of Hawaii to create “Maui-Mex.” Everything is made fresh to order and served in a fun FastCasual Format with the spirit of Aloha. CEO, Jeff Endervelt stated “We are excited by the opportunities afforded us having a 25 year history here in Hawaii and having served guests from around the World. This has given our Brand worldwide exposure and a global fanbase.” Investor interest has increased lately as Fast Casual restaurants continue to dominate the new restaurant landscape. Brought on to franchise the concept; VP of Development, Alonzo Botta expects to begin opening new restaurants on the Mainland and across the World later this year. The Company owns and operates 8 restaurants on Oahu, Maui and the Big Island. MAUI TACOS is now accepting franchise applications throughout the states and internationally.

Film

by Alex Mitchell

Showtimes KA‘AHUMANU 6

The Boss Baby-PG- 2D THU (11:30 2:10 4:40) 7:10

Queen Ka‘ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului. 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm)

9:40. 3D THU (12:00 2:40). 2D FRI (11:30 2:00 4:30) 7:00 9:30, SAT-SUN (11:30 2:00) 4:30 7:00 9:30, MON (11:30 2:00 4:30) 7:00 9:30, TUE-WED (11:30 2:00 4:30) 7:00 9:30, THU (11:30 2:00 4:30) 7:00 9:50. 3D FRI (12:00 2:40 5:10) 7:50 10:10, SAT-SUN (12:00 2:40) 5:10 7:50 10:10, MON-WED (12:00 2:40 5:10) 7:50 10:10, THU (12:00 2:40 5:10) 7:50 10:20. The Zookeeper’s Wife-PG13- 2D THU 1:00 4:00 7:00 10:10. 2D FRI (12:40 3:40) 6:40 9:30, SATSUN (12:40) 3:40 6:40 9:30, MON-THU (12:40 3:40) 7:00 10:30. Chips-R- 2D THU (11:50 2:20 5:10) 7:30 10:30. 2D FRI (11:30 2:10 4:40) 7:10 9:20, SAT (11:30 2:10) 4:40 7:10 9:20, SUN (2:10) 4:40 7:10 9:20, MON (11:30 2:10 4:40) 9:50, TUE-WED (11:30 2:10 4:40) 7:10 9:20, THU (11:30 2:10 4:40) 8:00. Life-R- 2D THU (11:30 2:10 4:50) 7:30 10:10. 2D FRI (11:40 2:30 5:00) 8:00 10:30, SAT (11:40 2:30) 5:00 8:00 10:30, SUN (2:30) 5:00 8:00 10:30, MON-WED (11:40 2:30 5:00) 8:00 10:30, THU (11:40 2:30 5:00). Power Rangers-PG13- 2D THU (12:30 1:00 3:30 4:00) 6:30 7:00 9:30 10:00. 2D FRI (12:50 1:20 3:40 4:10) 6:30 7:00 9:20 9:50, SAT-SUN (12:50 1:20) 3:40 4:10 6:30 7:00 9:20 9:50, MON-THU (12:50 1:20 3:40 4:10) 6:30 7:00 9:20 9:50.

Northern Lights- A Journey to Love- NR- 2D

THU 11:30 2:00 4:30 7:00. 2D FRI-SAT 10:10. 2D SUN-THU 11:00. Beauty and the Beast-PG- 2D THU 10:30 11:00 11:30 1:20 1:50 4:10 4:40 5:10 7:00 7:30, 3D THU 2:20 8:00. 2D FRI-SAT 10:45 1:30 4:15 5:15 7:00 9:45 10:45, 2D SUN-WED 10:45 1:30 4:15 5:15 7:00, 2D THU 10:45 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:45. Beauty and the Beast Sing-A-Long- PG- 2D FRITHU 11:45 2:30 8:00. Smurfs: Lost Village- PG- 2D THU 5:00 &;15. 2D FRISAT 10:25 11:15 12:30 2:40 3:40 4:50 5:50 7:00 9:30, 2D SUN-WED 10:25 11:15 12:30 2:40 3:40 4:50 5:50 7:00, 2D THU 10:25 11:15 12:30 2:40 3:40 4:50 5:50 7:00 9:30. 3D FRI-THU 1:30 8:00. Kong: Skull Island- PG13- 2D THU 10:45 1:35 4:20 7:15. 2D FRI-SAT 10:45 1:35 4:20 7:15 10:00, 2D SUN-WED 10:45 1:35 4:20 7:15, 2D THU 1:35 4:20. Ghost In The Shell- PG13- 2D THU 11:15 4:25. 3D THU 1:50 7:00. 2D FRI-SAT 11:15 1:50 4:25 7:15 9:40, 2D SUN-WED 11:15 1:50 4:25 7:15, 2D THU 11:15 1:50 4:25 7:15 9:40.

Logan- R- 2D THU (1:20 4:20) 7:20 10:20. FRI (11:30 2:00 5:00) 7:30 10:20, SAT-SUN (11:30 2:00) 5:00 7:30 10:20, MON-THU (11:30 2:00 5:00) 7:30 10:20. Samaritan’s Purse Presents: Facing DarknessNR- 2D MON 7:00. The Last Word- R- 2D THU (11:30). The Shack- PG13- 2D THU (2:20 4:40) 7:40 10:00. Get Out-R- 2D THU (11:30 2:00 4:30) 7:20 9:50.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day) Smurfs: The Lost Village-PG- 2D FRI-MON (1:00) 7:00, TUE (1:00 7:00), WED-THU (1:00) 7:00. 3D FRI-SUN 4:00 9:30, MON (4:00), TUE (4:00 9:30), WED-THU (4:00). The Boss Baby- PG- 2D THU (1:00) 7:00, 3D THU (4:00). 2D FRI (12:45) 3:45 6:45 9:20, SAT-SUN (12:45) 3:45 6:45 9:20, MON (12:45 3:45) 6:45, TUE (12:45 3:45 6:45 9:20), WED-THU (12:45 3:45) 6:45. Beauty and the Beast- PG- 2D THU (12:45 3:45) 6:45. 2D FRI (12:30) 3:35 6:30 9:30, SAT-SUN (12:30) 3:35 6:30 9:30, MON (12:30 3:35) 6:30, TUE (12:30 3:35 6:30 9:30), WED (12:30 3:35) 6:30, THU (12:30 3:35). Power Rangers-PG13- 2D THU (12:30 3:35) 6:30.

MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, Kahului, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm) Going in Style-PG13- 2D THU 5:10 7:40 10:10.

2D FRI (11:50 2:20 4:50) 7:20 9:50, SAT-SUN (11:50 2:20) 4:50 7:20 9:50, MON-THU (11:50 2:20 4:50) 7:20 9:50. The Case For Christ-PG- 2D FRI (11:30 2:10 4:50) 7:30 10:00, SAT-SUN (11:30 2:10) 4:50 7:30 10:00, MON-THU (11:30 2:10 4:50) 7:30 10:00. Ghost In The Shell- PG13- 2D THU (11:30 2:00) 7:10 9:50. 3D THU (12:00 2:30 4:30 5:00) 7:40 10:30. FRI (11:30 1:50 4:30) 7:10 9:40, SAT-SUN (11:30 1:50) 4:30 7:10 9:40, MON-THU (11:30 1:50 4:30) 7:10 9:40. 3D FRI (12:00 2:30 5:10) 7:40 10:20, SAT-SUN (12:00 2:30) 5:10 7:40 10:20, MON-THU (12:00 2:30 5:10) 7:40 10:20.

NEW THIS WEEK BEAUTY AND THE BEAST SING-ALONG PG - Fantasy/Musical - If you enjoyed the movie, then you’ll love the sing-along version! 129 min. THE CASE FOR CHRIST - PG - Drama - An atheist journalist seeks to prove the existence of Christ after his wife finds religion. 112 min. GOING IN STYLE - PG13 - Comedy/Crime Three old guys start robbing the banks that ripped them off. Stars Morgan Freeman, Alan Arkin and Michael Caine. 96 min. SMURFS: LOST VILLAGE - PG - Animation/Adventure - Smurfette and her friends stumble on the biggest secret in Smurf history. 89 min. THE ZOOKEEPER’S WIFE - PG13 - Drama/ History - The story of the keepers of the Warsaw Zoo, who sought to protect people and animals during the Nazi invasion. 124 min.

NOW PLAYING BEAUTY AND THE BEAST - PG - Fantasy/ Musical - Emma Watson stars in this live-action version of the famous fairy tale in which a young woman falls in love with a buffalo. Also stars Dan Stevens. 129 min.

Going In Style opens this week

THE BOSS BABY - PG - Animation/Family - A baby and his seven-year-old brother seek to thwart the evil CEO of Puppy Co. Voices by Alec Baldwin and Steve Buscemi. 97 min. CHIPS - R - Action/Comedy - A rookie California Highway Patrol officer finds out his partner is an undercover FBI agent because Hollywood doesn’t know when to stop rebooting crappy old TV shows. 100 min. GHOST IN THE SHELL - PG13 - Action/Crime - Scarlett Johansson stars in this white-washed version of the Japanese comic about a cyber-enhanced woman who fights crime. See this week’s film review. 106 min. JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2 - R - Action/Thriller - Former hitman John Wick returns to the criminal underworld, where he discovers there’s a price on his head. Yawn–been there, done that. 122 min. KONG: SKULL ISLAND - PG13 - Action/Adventure - A bunch of army guys go to Skull Island to find King Kong in the 1970s because whatever– it’s a monster movie. Stars Brie Larson, Tom Hiddleston and John C. Reilly. 120 min. LIFE - R - Horror/Sci-Fi - Space station astronauts fight scary aliens. Yeah, that’s about it. Stars Jake Gyllenhall, Rebecca Ferguson and Ryan Reynalds. 103 min LOGAN - R - Action/Drama - In 2029, Wolverine

and an ailing Dr. Xavier care for a young mutant girl who’s being chased by evil agents. 137 min. NORTHERN LIGHTS: A JOURNEY TO LOVE - PG - Romance - A man who finds he must now care for his son in the Philippines meets a quirky woman. 98 min. POWER RANGERS - PG13 - Action/Sci-Fi - A group of high school kids get superpowers and fight to save the world while dressed as action figures. 124 min.

LAST CHANCE GET OUT - R - Comedy/Horror - A young black man visits his white girlfriend’s estate. 93 min. THE LAST WORD - R - Comedy/Drama - A retired businesswoman seeks to write her own obituary. Hilarity ensues. Stars Shirley MacLaine and Amanda Seyfried. 108 min. SAMARITAN’S PURSE PRES. FACING DARKNESS - NR - Special Event - The story of how two members of the international relief organization Samaritan’s Purse contracted Ebola in West Africa. Features Franklin Graham and Dr. Kent Brantly. 120 min. THE SHACK - PG13 - Drama/Fantasy - A sad man gets an invite to meet God at some shack. 132 min.

APRIL 6, 2017 21

Calendar

by Alex Mitchell & Shannon Kekahuna

Da Kine Calendar BIG SHOWS WAILUKU FIRST FRIDAY TOWN PARTY - Fri. Apr 7. Help support the local community and businesses! Featuring live entertainment, food vendors, local artisans, jewelry, fashion and a beer garden. 6pm. Wailuku Town Party, (Market Street, Wailuku); 808-270-7710; Mauifridays.com OLD SCHOOL FRIDAYS - Fri. Apr 7. Head to Waikapu and dance to throwbacks and cuts mixed by DJ Joe Cortez, Next Level Entertainment and Da Jam 98.3. 21+. $10. 9pm. King Kamehameha Golf Club, (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-866-5025; Mauiliveevents.com SATURDAY NIGHT SOUL - Sat. Apr 8. Check out special guest DJ Dagwood mixing old school funk, soul, house, classic rock, disco remixes and acid jazz. 21+. 8pm. Casanova Italian Restaurant and Deli, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220; Casanovamaui.com THE PLATINUM AFTER PARTY - Sat. Apr 8. Join Imua Family Services for Maui’s hottest Dance Party of the Year featuring Live Music by Next Level Entertainment. This event immediately follows The Fantasia Ball Platinum Jubilee. $35. 10pm. Hyatt Regency Maui Resort, (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-661-1234; Imuafamilyservices.org/fantasiaball KEOKEA KANIKAPILA JAM - Sun. Apr 9. See Robi Kahakalau, Brother Noland, John Cruz, Mike Ka‘awa, comedian Shawn Kau‘i “Bu La‘ia” Hill, Jarret Roback and Lia Ledezma. There’ll be food, crafts and free eye screenings. Admission is $5 per person or $20 per family, $5 parking. Proceeds benefit the Keokea Homestead Farm Lots Association. 10am. Keokea Market Place, (Mile Marker 17, Kula). SAMMY HAGAR ROCK AND ROLL ROAD TRIP PREMIERE - Sun. Apr 9. Join the premiere of Sammy Hagar’s (The Red Rocker) Rock and Roll Road TripMaui Episode! He will be joined on the main stage by Mick Fleetwood and Willie K. 7:30pm. Fleetwood’s on Front St., (744 Front St., Lahaina); 808-669-6425; Fleetwoodsonfrontst.com JAZZ METROPOLIS WITH LEE NORRIS - Wed. Apr 12. Mana O Radio 91.7’s Lee Norris of Jazz Metropolis, hosts this great after work three hour Work Jazz House Set live on the patio every Wednesday. Fusing jazz and house sets creating a very cool atmosphere for networking and relaxation on hump day. 5pm. Cow Pig Bun, (535 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-875-8100; Cowpigbun.com

STAGE SHOWS WARREN AND ANNABELLE’S MAGIC SHOW - Mon-Sat. Warren Gibson, one of the country’s premier sleight-of-hand magicians, treats you to the best “close-up” magic and comedy in a beautiful 78-seat venue! Annabelle, their resident ghost, will entertain you while you dine, enjoy cocktails, appetizers and yummy desserts. $64-104.50. 5pm. Warren and Annabelle’s, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-6244; Warrenandannabelles.com ‘ULALENA - Mon, Tue, Thur, Fri. Delight in the richness of Hawaiian history and culture through authentic Hawaiian music, dance and over 100 instruments played live in a dynamic, colorful, emotional, and entertaining theatrical performance. $29.99 Keiki / $59.99 Adults. Children 5 and under are free. Kama‘aina and military rates, and dinner partner offers are available. 5pm. Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; Mauitheatre.com NA LIO DINNER - Thu. Apr 6. Sit back and enjoy the story of the horse in Hawaii and discover how the Hawaiian Cowboys, and the horse became a part of Hawaiian culture. $99. 5:30pm. Na Lio Gift Shop, (335 Keawe St., Lahaina); 808-270-2255; Naliomaui.com ‘THE WIZARD OF OZ’ - Thu. Apr 6 - Sun. Apr 16. Follow Baldwin High School Performing Arts and Theatre Guild down the Yellow Brick Road to the magical land of Oz. Show times are: April 6,7,14 at 7pm. April 9,16

22 APRIL 6, 2017

at 2pm. April 15 at 2pm and 7pm. Tickets: $12 Adults, $10 Seniors $7 Students (12-17), $5 Children (11 and under). 7pm. Baldwin High School, (1650 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Wailuku); 808-727-3200; Baldwin.k12.hi.us ‘BURN’N LOVE’ - Mon, Tue, Thur, Fri. Maui Theatre’s Burn’n Love brings back the golden era of Elvis in Hawaii. Starring Darren Lee, relive the days of Blue Hawaii with one of the best Elvis impersonators in the world. $60-110. 7:30pm. Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; Mauitheatre.com ISLAND RHYTHMS SUNSET COCKTAIL CRUISE - Fri. Apr 7. Get onboard for lots of fun, food and dancing on Pacific Whale Foundation’s Island Rhythms Sunset Cocktail Cruise with local reggae star Marty Dread. 21+. 5pm. Pacific Whale Foundation, (Ma‘alaea Harbor Shops); 808-249-8811; Pacificwhale.org MAGIC ON MAUI WITH SETH GRABEL - Sundays and Wednesdays. America’s Got Talent star Seth Grabel is on Maui. Grabel is a magician, illusionist and headlining entertainer. Direct from Las Vegas, he brings to Maui a hilariously skillful show that is fun for all ages. Tickets start at $49 for adults and $24.50 for children under 12. Special VIP meet-and-greet packages, Kama‘aina and group rates are available. 5pm. Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; Mauitheatre.com ‘AN EVENING WITH MARK TWAIN’ - Sun. Apr 9. Rick Scheideman will perform his one-man show at the Pioneer Inn Courtyard. $22. 6pm. Pioneer Inn Maui, (658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 303-507-0987; Rickscheideman.com FOUREVER FAB SHOW MAUI, THE BEATLES TRIBUTE - Wed. Apr 12. Fourever Fab and its founding members have been performing the hits of the world’s most-loved lads, The Beatles, for over twenty years. They continue to perfect their performance with sound-alike vocals and the original instruments to pay tribute to the songs that defined a generation. Tickets start at $59.99 for adults and $29.99 for children (age 5 through 11). 10 percent discount for Kama‘aina with Hawaii ID. 6:30pm. Fourever Fab Show at Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-365-7535; Foureverfabshow.com GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR.’S SLACK KEY SHOW - Wed. Apr 12. Hosted by George and his Slack Key Show Ohana–Peter deAquino, Sterling Seaton and Wainani Kealoha. Pre-show dinner package also available for Sea House Restaurant, advance purchase required. $37.99. 7:30pm. Slack Key Show at Napili Kai Beach Resort, (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Napili); 808-669-3858; Slackkeyshow.com COMEDY NIGHT WITH BRIAN MICHAELS Wed. Apr 12. Head upcountry to Makawao and enjoy late night laughs with some of Maui’s best local comedians. Presented by Maui Comedy Live and hosted by Brian Michaels. 21+. No cover. 8pm. Stopwatch Sportsbar, (1127 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-1380.

MAUI FOODIE KING’S COTTAGE TASTING ROOM - Thu. Apr 6. Built for King Kalakaua in 1856, the King’s Cottage is where you can taste complimentary MauiWine varieties, also offering free historical and cellar tours. 10am. MauiWine, Ulupalakua Vineyards, (14815 Pi‘ilani Hwy., Ulupalakua); 808-878-6058; Mauiwine.com KING’S VISIT WINE TASTING AND TOUR - Thu. Apr 6. Maui’s one and only winery is now offering the King’s Visit Wine Tasting and Tour. This is a really incredible opportunity for wine lovers, and for those that want to learn more about grape production on Maui. $50. 3:30pm. MauiWine, Ulupalakua Vineyards, (14815 Pi‘ilani Hwy., Ulupalakua); 808-878-6058; Mauiwine.com KAPALUA SUNSET DINNER - Thu. Apr 6. TuesdaySaturday. Sit back, relax and take in the beautiful Maui sunset while enjoying a special three-course Sunset Menu which includes a glass of sparkling wine and an amuse bouche from the Chef. $50. 5:30pm. Banyan Tree Res-

TheGRID

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SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

4/6

4/7

4/8

4/9

4/10-4/12

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-1011

Let’s Go Retro SIN w/ DJ Beyonzo, 10pm

Frisky Friday w/ DJ Skinny Guy, 10pm

CASANOVA

Saturday Sessions w/ DJ Decka, 10pm

Kurt’s Underground Dance Party, 10pm

Saturday Night Soul w/ DJ Dagwood, 9pm $10 cover

1188 Makawao Ave. - 572-0220

MON- Movies & Martinis 7:30pm, TUE-Latin Nights w/ music and Salsa dancing 10pm, WED- Wine Down Wednesday w/Jazz & Soul WED- New Ladies Night w/ Resident DJ Kid Continental, 10pm $10

Mark Johnstone & Friends, 6:30pm, no cover

Spring Release w/ DJ Illz & DJ Deviant, 10pm $10

Ian Walsh’s Menehune Mayhem After Party, 10pm $10

Brunch & Bloody Mary Bar 7am

MON- Live Band & Open Mic 7-10pm, TUE- Matt Del Olmo & Orion Hitzig, 6:30pm, WED- Randall Rospond, 6:30pm

Will Hartzog 7:30pm-10pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Justin Phillips 7-9pm; no cover

MON-Garrett Probst 7:30pm, TUE- Jazz at the Cat 7:30pm WED- Benny Uyetake 7pm

1279 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-9299

Service Industry Night, 9pm

House Music

DJ $Mike, 10pm

Gina Martinelli Band, 6pm

MON- Corona Day, TUE- Pool Day WED- Pool Tournament

DIRTY MONKEY

DJ Gary Oneal 9pm-close

Hawaii Tattoo Expo Official After Party

WED- SIN w/ DJ Andrew, 10pm

Trivia Night 7pm

TBA

MON- MA’s Mix 10pm, TUE- Ladies Night 10pm, WED- TBA

Noa Zeb,10:30am-12:30pm, SIN 10pm

Corey Rezner 10:30am-12:30pm, Fresh Squeezed Friday 6pm

Kendall & Armadillo, 10:30am-12:30pm

Alex Calma, 10:30am-12:30pm

MON- Ian Gelleisky 10:30am, BINGO, TUE- Jason Macapulay 10:30am-12:30pm, WED Corey Rezner 10:30am-12:30pm

Gretchen Rhodes w/ House Shakers & Rock Hendrix, 7-10pm

I-Drive, 7-10pm

Sammy Hagar’s Rock & Roll Roadtrip, 7-10pm

MON- HI Country 7-10pm, TUE- Mick Fleetwood, Willie K & Gretchen Rhodes 7-10pm, WED- Paul West 6:30-9:30pm

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St #160, Lahaina - 667-0988

DIAMOND'S ICE BAR 844 Front St., Lahaina - 419-6286

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

DOWN THE HATCH 658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4900

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. 744 Front St. (Rooftop), Lahaina - 669-6425

taurant at The Ritz-Carlton, Kapalua, (1 Ritz-Carlton Dr., Kapalua); 808-665-7096; Ritzcarlton.com/banyantree WILLIE K AND THE WAREHOUSE BLUES BAND - Thu. Apr 6. Enjoy the electric sounds of Hawaii Legend, Willie K as he rocks the house with blues, rock, Hawaiian, and sometimes even opera. $70 for dinner and show. $30 for 8pm show only. Call for reservations. 6:30pm. King Kamehameha Golf Club, (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-866-5025; Mauiliveevents.com FIRKIN FRIDAY! - Fri. Apr 7. In partnership with Maui Brewing Co., Luana is proud to offer cask ale and firkin keg tapping. Poured straight from the keg using gravity rather than carbon dioxide, this is draft beer at its best. Live music to follow. Don’t want to miss this beer explosion. 4:30pm. Luana Lounge at Fairmont Kea Lani, (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808875-4100; Fairmont.com/kea-lani-maui/dining/luana LET’S FISH AND POI TOGETHER - Sat. Apr 8. This family event will consist of an amateur and professional Maui Poke Challenge judged by local celebrities, boat expo by Valley Isle Marine Center, outreach and education by Maui’s ocean-related nonprofit organizations and interactive keiki activities. 10am. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-4325; Queenkaahumanucenter.com SUNDAY BRUNCH AND BLOODY MARY BAR - Sun. Apr 9. Featuring an enhanced a la carte breakfast menu created by Chef David Viviano, a celebration of savory and sweet culinary delights. 10am. Cane and Canoe at Montage Kapalua, (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-662-6681; Caneandcanoe.com WINE SOCIAL - Sun. Apr 9. Sundays and Mondays. Join in an intimate wine and food pairing with restaurant and wine list manager, Jim Hansen. His thoughtful selections paired with light bites. 4:30pm. Pulehu, an Italian Grill at Westin Ka‘anapali Resort, (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3254; Pulehurestaurantmaui.com KO’S SUNDAY NIGHT LAULAU - Sun. Apr 9. Enjoy Chef Tylun Pang’s healthy and modern take on a traditional Hawaiian dish, the special seafood laulau includes Maui fresh catch fish, shrimp, scallops, spinach, mushrooms and baby bok choy, all wrapped in ti leaf, steamed and served with jasmine rice. 5pm. Ko at Fairmont Kea Lani, (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-2210; Korestaurant.com MNHCOC MEMBERSHIP DINNER - Tue. Apr 11. Valerie Monson, award-winning journalist and Coordinator for Ka ‘Ohana O Kalaupapa, will be the featured speaker at the Maui Native Hawaiian Chamber of Com-

merce (MNHCoC) Membership Dinner. Admission is $25 for members and $30 for non-members. RSVP and pay in advance at Mnhcoc.org or call 808-757-3045 to pay by phone. Deadline for RSVPs is Apr 8. 5:30pm. Maui Tropical Plantation, (1670 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Wailuku); 855-364-6622; Mauitropicalplantation.com LUAU DINNER SHOW - Wed. Apr 12. The Luau dinner show Huaka‘i–Journey through Polynesia includes traditional games, woodcarvers, cultural demonstrations and a luau buffet. There will be hula performances and the fire knife dance finale. 5:30pm. Ka‘anapali Beach Club Luau, (104 Ka‘anapali Shores); 888-582-8858; Huakailuau.com

ART SCENE THE CROSSROADS USO EXHIBIT - Until - Sat. Apr 8. Displays depicting the USO from it’s opening in January 1943 until the war ended in 1945 include original artwork, historical stories, and memorabilia from the Crossroads USO. Free. 10am. Makawao History Museum, (3642 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-572-2482; Makawaomuseum.org HAWAIIAN CONTEMPORARY 2017 - Until - Wed. Apr 12. The gallery will display Hawaiian Contemporary works by a selection of fine art artists. Gabrielle Anderman, Melissa Chimera, Susan Schiesser, Mizu Sumida, Dian Lehr, Linda Whittemore, Carol Kouchi Yotsuda, Wanda Russell and Michael and Misato Mortara. 10:30am. Viewpoints Gallery, (3620 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-572-5979; Viewpointsgallerymaui.com CALL TO ARTISTS: SCHAEFER PORTRAIT CHALLENGE 2018 (SPC2018) - Until - Sat. Sep 23. The Challenge is open to artists 18+ who are Hawaii residents. All works entered must be original oneof-a-kind and newly-created specifically for this exhibition. 9am. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Mauiarts.org CALLING ALL CRAFTERS, ARTISANS, FARMERS AND KONANE PLAYERS - Thu. Apr 6. The 25th annual Celebration of the Arts, Hawaii’s premiere hands-on art and cultural festival, is coming up in April. 8am. Celebration of the Arts, (Kapalua); 808665-7089; Celebrationofthearts.org CALLING ALL YOUNG ARTISTS FOR DRAWING CONTEST - Thu. Apr 6 - Sun. Apr 30. The Manga and Art Drawing Contest, will be held at the Maui Matsuri festival on May 6. Maui residents grades 3-12 are encouraged to enter. 8am. Maui Matsuri; 808-283-9999; Mauimatsuri.com

PASTELIST AND ENCAUSTIC ARTIST, KATHLEEN O’BRYAN - Thu. Apr 6. Makawao pastelist and encaustic artist Kathleen O’Bryan has made her living as professional fine artist for more than 35 years, participating in solo, group and juried exhibitions. She will be in the gallery every Thursdays in April displaying a collection of her pieces and talking about her process. 12pm. Maui Hands Makawao, (1169 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-2008; Mauihands.com

9am. Montage Kapalua Bay, (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-662-6600; Montagehotels.com/kapalua-bay

VICTORIA WUNDRAM - Fri. Apr 7 - Tue. May 2. Stop by the gallery during the reception to meet her and see her colorful paintings and three-dimensional wood pieces. 9am. Lahaina Arts Society, (648 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-0111; Lahainaarts.com

POLITICAL EVENTS

LUANA KAMA - Fri. Apr 7. Luana Kama enjoys painting with watercolor and finds it fascinating to see the pigments and water flow on paper. Her favorite subjects to paint are people and flowers. She will be in the gallery every Friday in April working on her newest work of art. 4:30pm. Maui Hands Lahaina, (612 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-9898; Mauihands.com CAFE FRIDAY, LIVE ART AND MUSIC - Fri. Apr 7. Friday evenings at the cafe are bustling with published local artists creating amazing art along with live music from professional musicians and recording artists. 5:30pm. Cafe Cafe Maui, (129 Lahainaluna Rd.); 808-283-2739; Cafecafemaui.com FRIDAY NIGHT ART NIGHT - Fri. Apr 7. Visit the gallery, for live music and Mai Tais while they showcase a new artist of the week. Free. 6pm. Lahaina Printsellers Ltd., (764 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-5815; Printsellers.com ART OF TRASH 2017 OPENING NIGHT & MAUI TRASHION SHOW - Fri. Apr 7. Art of Trash, celebrate Earth Day, features everyday discarded recyclable items that have been given new life in art pieces. 6pm. Art of Trash, (Maui Mall, Kahului); 808-877-2524; Sharingalohamaui.org ART OF TRASH 2017 EXHIBIT - Sat. Apr 8 - Sat. Apr 29. Art of Trash is presented by local nonprofits Malama Maui Nui and Sharing Aloha. This exhibition changes environmental awareness of what is trash and gives new perspective on how we might reduce our footprint by finding creative ways to keep reusable items out of our landfill. 8am. Art of Trash, (Maui Mall, Kahului); 808-877-2524; Sharingalohamaui.org JEWELS OF MAUI TRUNK SHOW - Sat. Apr 8 - Sun. Apr 9. Sharing the beauty, simplicity and elegance of the island with you, Jewels of Maui’s jewelry is handcrafted using a variety of quality materials.

NARA AND KAI CHOW SHOW - Mon. Apr 10 - Tue. Apr 11. Fostering the local culture, this mother and son duo presents one-of-a-kind jewelry pieces and gorgeous woodwork. 9am. Montage Kapalua Bay, (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-662-6600; Montagehotels.com/kapalua-bay

MAUI ‘THROWDOWN THURSDAY’S’ RALLIES Thu. Apr 6. Every Thursday, peaceful resistance continues in response to the many untenable policies the new administration is proposing that threaten democracy. 4pm. University of Hawaii Maui College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-984-3500; Maui.hawaii.edu FISCAL YEAR 2018 BUDGET MEETING - Thu. Apr 6. The County Council Budget and Finance Committee received the mayor’s proposed fiscal year 2018 budget of $795.3 million and will begin its review with committee meetings throughout April. The public is welcome to provide oral or written testimony at any scheduled committee meeting. Go online for meeting schedules, documents, agendas and announcements. Testimony may be emailed to Bf.committee@ mauicounty.us. 6pm. Paia Community Center, (Hana Hwy., Paia); MauiCounty.us/2018budget

CALENDAR OF EVENTS THURSDAY, APRIL 6TH UNIVERSITY OF HAWAII PRESIDENT’S SERIES FEATURES DR. PUAKEA NOGELMEIER - Thu. Apr 6. Dr. Puakea Nogelmeier, renowned professor of Hawaiian language at UH Manoa, will speak on “The Legacy of Hawaiian Literacy” in the Ike Le‘a Building, Room 144. $35. 5pm. University of Hawaii Maui College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808984-3500; Maui.hawaii.edu HAWAII ENVIRONMENTAL COURT WORKSHOP - Thu. Apr 6. Judge Larry Potter, from Shelby County, Tennessee, will cover environmental laws and policies and answer questions. The workshop is a collaborative effort among Keep America Beautiful, Malama Maui Nui, Maui Green and Beautiful and Keep the Hawaiian Islands Beautiful. RSVP megan@cwdhawaii.org. Free. 5pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Mauiarts.org

APRIL 6, 2017 23

THURS | 4/06

MARK JOHNSTONE & FRIENDS 6:30-8:30pm • No Cover! FRI | 4/07 AUDACIOUS PRESENTS

SPRING RELEASE WITH DJ ILLZ & DJ DEVIANT 10pm • $10 SAT | 4/08

EVENTS

Grammy-Winning Recording Artist

Colbie Caillat

FRI April 7 7:30 pm Castle Henry Kapono & Friends

The Songs of C&K

IAN WALSH’S MENEHUNE MAYHEM OFFICIAL AFTER PARTY

SAT April 8 7:30 pm Castle R&B, Hip Hop & Pop Singer

William Singe

10pm • $10

SUN April 9 7:30 pm Castle

SUN | 4/09

Country Music Superstar Group

PROCEEDS BENEFIT THE IWMM FOUNDATION

BREAKFAST SERVED 7AM DON’T MISS OUR BLOODY MARY BAR!

MON | 4/10

CHARLEY’S LIVE BAND OPEN MIC & JAM 7PM-10PM • NO COVER TUES | 4/11

MATT DEL OLMO & ORION HITZIG 6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER WED | 4/12

RANDALL ROSPOND

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER 142 HANA HWY

PAIA

808.579.8085

Lonestar

FRI April 14 7:30 pm Castle Acoustic Folk, Blues & Bluegrass An Evening With

Julian Lage & Chris Eldridge and Aoife O’Donovan

FRI April 14 7:30 pm McCoy GALLERY

Art Maui 2017

Now Through April 30 Open Daily 10-5 FREE ADMISSION

24 APRIL 6, 2017

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

4/6

4/7

4/8

4/9

4/10-4/12

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-8010

JAVA JAZZ 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

KIMO’S 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

Karaoke, 9pm-close

Dat Guyz, 9pm-close

Island Reggae, 9pm-close

Karaoke Industry Night, 8pm-close

MON- Karaoke 8pm, TUE- Karaoke & $1 Tacos, WED- Open Mic 9pm

Rick Glencross

Guest Musician

Rick Glencross

John Bowser

MON- Mel & Soundlab, TUE- Nino Tascano & Paul Bunuan, WED- Guest Musician

Ma’a 6:30pm-8:30pm

Crazy Fingers Duo, 8-10pm

Ma’a 6:30-8:30pm

Benny & Rock 6-8pm

MON- Benny & Rock 6-8pm, TUE & WED- Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

Jim Spector, 5:30pm

Sal Godinez, 5-8pm

Neto, 5:30pm

Island Soul, 5:30pm

TUE- Tantalizing Tues w/Gina Martinelli & Friends 5-8pm, WED-Jim Spector, 5:30pm

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

David Wolf 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON - David Wolf / TUE - The Benoits WED - Ranga Pae (all 5:30-8:30pm)

Hot Friday’s w/ DJ Big Mike & DJ Kamikaze, 10pm

Euphoria w/ DJ Big Mike, 10pm

Pat Simmons Jr., 6:30-8:30pm

Soul Kitchen Big Band, 7-9pm

Makai Jazz, 6:30-8:30pm

Celtic Tigers, 7-9:30pm

MON-Joyce & Gord 6:30pm, TUE- Brenton Keith & His Bag O’Tricks, 6:30pm, WEDJoel Katz 5:15pm & Willie K Dinner 6:30pm

March Madenss, Thirsty Thursdays & Free Pool

Karaoke, Darts & Brant Quick w/ prizes 7-11pm

March Madenss & Ladies Night w/ specials 9pm

March Madenss, Dart Tournament, NBA & NHL

MON- NBA & NHL, darts & pool, TUE- $2 Taco Tuesdays, WED- Specials & Darts

KOBE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St. (Lounge Area), Lahaina - 667-5555

KONO’S ON THE GREEN 470 Lipoa Pkwy, Kihei - 633-4220

MERRIMAN’S 1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

PARADISE GRILL

2291 Kaanapali Pkwy, Lahaina - 662-3700

MULLIGANS ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St, Wailea - 874-1131

PLAYMAKERS SPORTS BAR 928 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4084

MALAMA MAUI NUI LAUNCHES 2017 GREAT AMERICAN CLEANUP - Until - Sun. Apr 30. Malama Maui Nui is inviting volunteers to “be the bridge from mauka to makai” by joining the Hawaii Government Employees Association (HGEA) at their cleanup event. 8am. Kwong Fook Tong Chinese Cemetery, (Kahekili Highway, Wailuku); 808-877-2524; Malamamauinui.org/volunteer-maui QUEEN KA‘AHUMANU CENTER EASTER BUNNY PHOTOS - Until - Sat. Apr 15. Hop along and get your professional photographs with Easter Bunny. Mon-Fri from 10-9pm and Sun from 10am5pm. In addition, Pet Photos with Easter Bunny are available on Mon, April 10 from 5-9pm and Compassionate Easter Bunny will be available for visits and photos from 12-2pm on Tue, April 11, or by appointment. 10am. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-4325; Queenkaahumanucenter.com HALEAKALA NATIONAL PARK SERVICE TRIP - Thu. Apr 6 - Sat. Apr 22. The Friends of Haleakala National Park are looking for enthusiastic and fit volunteers for an upcoming Service Learning trip on April 22-24. Participants will hike into the Crater for 2 nights in Holua Cabin working on protection of native plants. Free. 7am. Haleakala National Park, (Haleakala Highway, Kula); 808-205-4067; Fhnp.org ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS MEETINGS - Thu. Apr 6. Recovering alcoholics share a common purpose: to assure that Alcoholics Anonymous will continue to be available to those who need. 8am. AA Central Office, (info@aamaui.org); 808-244-9673; AAmaui.org HANA METALS AND RECYCLING EVENT - Thu. Apr 6 - Sat. Apr 8. This collection is free for residents only; commercial waste will not be accepted without a fee. Items accepted include: scrap metals, appliances, tires (limit 15), auto batteries, propane tanks and electronics. For details and information, call the Office of Abandoned Vehicles and Metals at 270-8217. For information about metals collections and fees for businesses, call Refrigerant Recycling at 351-3504. For general information about electronics recycling, call the County E-cycling Hotline at 280-6460. 8:30am. Hana Landfill, (35 H-360, Hana); Mauicounty.gov/recycle WELLS PARK MASTER PLAN - Thu. Apr 6. The Department of Parks and Recreation invites the public to take part in planning set for Wells Park. The final concept plan for Wells Park will be displayed and county staff and project consultants will be available to answer questions. Information on the projected phasing will also be provided. 5pm. Calvary Chapel Central Maui, (31 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-893-2494; Cccmaui.com ‘AKAKU UPSTAIRS’ SALON SERIES: DEMYSTIFY SNAPCHAT WITH ARAM - Thu. Apr 6. This sa-

lon is designed for anyone wanting to learn how to use Snapchat for fun, storytelling and communication with friends and family. 6pm. Akaku Maui Community Media, (333 Dairy Rd., Kahului); 808-871-5554; Akaku.org

FRIDAY, APRIL 7TH NO KA OI TOASTMASTERS OPEN HOUSE - Fri. Apr 7. Find your inner leader with Toastmasters International. Learn how to speak in front of a group with confidence and work with others in a positive, supportive environment. Ka Lama Building Room 104B. RSVP online (it’s required). Free. 12pm. University of Hawaii Maui College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808984-3500; Nokaoitoastmasters.eventbrite.com PAU HANA AND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT - Fri. Apr 7. Pau Hana at The Shops is more than just a happy hour. Pau Hana celebrates the end of the work week with live musical performances by Maui’s talented up and coming artists as well as Maui’s more well established musicians. 4pm. The Shops at Wailea, (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-891-6770; Theshopsatwailea.com SACRED HEARTS SCHOOL BAZAAR - Fri. Apr 7 - Sat. Apr 8. Two days of Bazaaroo fun. 4:00pm. Sacred Hearts School, (239 Dickenson St., Lahaina ); Shsmaui.org

SATURDAY, APRIL 8TH ECO FARM TOURS - Sat. Apr 8. Join in an educational tour of permaculture design features. $20-25. 4pm. Ahimsa Sanctuary Farm, (4505 Hana Hwy., Haiku); 808-283-8057; Ahimsasanctuaryfarm.com E-CYCLING - Sat. Apr 8. Items accepted at the ecycling program include computers, televisions, microwaves, cell phones, stereos, copiers, fax machines and other items with circuit boards. The service is provided free of charge; the public is asked to be courteous by not leaving any items at the gate after hours. 8am. E-Cycling Program, (901 L. Main St., Wailuku); 808-264-6460; Mauicounty.gov/recycle MAUI EGG HUNT! FREE LICE REMOVAL TREATMENTS - Sat. Apr 8. To help the local community, Lice Clinics of America wants to give families the opportunity to eliminate lice and eggs with their own Egg Hunt. 9am. Lice Clinics of America–Maui, (300 Ohukai Rd., B-319, Kihei); 808-866-9060; Liceclinicshawaii.com WEST AFRICAN DANCE WITH QUINCEY - Sat. Apr 8. Live drumming. Have fun following the beats of the drums and learn new steps and moves with this great teacher. $10. 11am. Pahu Creations, (870 Hali‘imaile Rd., Makawao); 808-385-2642; Pahumaui.com YU-GI-OH CARD SESSION - Sat. Apr 8. Free card session at Maui Toy Works. 3pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-6615304; Lahainacannerymall.com

SUNDAY, APRIL 9TH FREE ZUMBA - Sun. Apr 9. Get your sweat on with Keoni’s Hot Lava DanceFit! Free. 8:30am. Keoni’s Hot Lava DanceFit at Outlets of Maui, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-344-7122. 9:00am. Keoni’s Hot Lava DanceFit at Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-344-7122; Hotlavadancefit.com HUI! LANAKILA - Sun. Apr 9. Enjoy a traditional Hawaiian hula performance by Hui! Lanakila on the mall’s center stage. 11am. Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; Mauimall.com

MONDAY, APRIL 10TH WAHINE WEEK ANNUAL GATHERING - Mon. Apr 10 - Sat. Apr 15. Each year, Wahine Week features a series of free networking luncheons, social gatherings and pop-up shops. These casual gatherings are for everyone to get together, share knowledge and experience, and most importantly, support one another. 11:30am. Wahine Week; Wahineweek.com SPRING COLLEGE FAIR - Mon. Apr 10. Over 70 colleges and universities from across the United States and overseas will be in the gymnasium for the annual spring college fair. This will be a great opportunity for students to learn from the experts about the various colleges, including admission and scholarship information. Free. 4pm. Maui High School, (660 Lono Ave., Kahului); 808-727-4000; Mauihigh.org SALSA DANCE CLASS - Mon. Apr 10. Maui dance enthusiasts and Latin music lovers can take Salsa Dance Classes with Demian and Lasensua, singles and couple welcome. Beginners class starts at 6pm with Intermediate class to follow at 6:45pm. $10 per class, $15 per couple. 6pm. Makawao Union Church, (1445 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-579-9261; Makawaounionchurch.org

TUESDAY, APRIL 11TH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SUPPORT GROUPS - Tue. Apr 11. Child and Family Service in Wailuku offers weekly Domestic Violence Support Groups for Survivors, Teens and Children every Tuesday. Call for more information and/ or to register. (Registration is required). 5:30pm. Child and Family Service, (392 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-8776888; 808-357-8260; Childandfamilyservices.org E-CYCLING - Tue. Apr 11. Items accepted at the e-cycling program include computers, televisions, microwaves, cell phones, stereos, copiers, fax machines and other items with circuit boards. The service is provided free of charge; the public is asked to be courteous by not leaving any items at the gate after hours. 1pm. E-cycling Program, (901 L. Main St., Wailuku); 808-264-6460; Mauicounty.gov/recycle THEATER FOR KEIKI - Tue. Apr 11. Keiki ages 3-5 are invited to enjoy a play all about home and sharing, per-

formed by Honolulu Theatre for Youth. The two charming characters in this production wrestle to create their own homes and come to realize that one of the great joys of having a home is sharing it. Sponsored by Friends of the Library Hawaii. Free. 3pm. Makawao Public Library, (1159 Makawao Ave.); 808-573-8785; Librarieshawaii.org

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 12TH OUTLETS OUTDOOR MARKET - Wed. Apr 12. The Market will feature chef demonstrations, live music, hula show and cultural activities. Maui farmers and artisans will feature locally-grown produce, handmade goods, creative crafts, apparel, island artwork and more. 4pm. Outlets of Maui, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-8277; Outletsofmaui.com

LIVE MUSIC WEST MAUI AUNTIE’S KITCHEN AT WESTIN KA‘ANAPALI RESORT - Fri, Live Music 4-7pm; Mon, Live Music 4-7pm; (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3254; Westinkaanapali.com/dining CANE AND CANOE AT MONTAGE KAPALUA - Thu, Piilani Arias 5:30-8:30pm; Fri, Kapali Keahi 5:30-8:30pm; Sat, Daniel Querubin and Dayan Kai 5:30-9pm; Sun, Gary Larson Duo 9am-12pm; Sun, Joseph Chee 5:30-8:30pm; Mon, Kincaid Kipahu 5:30-8:30pm; Tue, Brian Haia 5:30-8:30pm; Wed, Kalani Smythe 5:30-8:30pm; (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-662-6681; Caneandcanoe.com CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL - Fri, Will Hartzog 2-4:30pm; Mon, Will Hartzog 2-4:30pm; Wed, Tori Dixon Band 2-5pm; (672 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0988; CaptainJacksMaui.com CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE - Thu, Scot Freeman 4:30-7:30pm; Thu, Harry Troupe 8-11pm; Fri, Joe Benedet 4:30-7:30pm; Fri, Harry Troupe 8-11pm; Sat, Scot Freeman 4:30-7:30pm; Sat, Brooks Maguire 8-11pm; Sun, Joe Benedet 4:30-7:30pm; Sun, Scot Freeman 8-11pm; Mon, Mark Burnett 4:30-7:30pm; Mon, Evan Shulman 8-11pm; Tue, Scot Freeman 4:30-7:30pm; Tue, Brooks Maguire 8-11pm; Wed, Brooks Maguire 4:30-7:30pm; Wed, Harry Troupe 8-11pm; (811 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4855; Cheeseburgerland.com CLIFF DIVE GRILL AT SHERATON MAUI - ThuWed, Local Live Entertainment 6-8pm; (2605 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-0031; Cliffdivegrillmaui.com COOL CAT CAFE - Thu, Will Hartzog 7:30-10pm; Fri, Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sat, Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; Sun, Justin Phillips 7-9pm; Mon, Garrett Probst 7:30-10pm; Tue, Jazz at the Cat 7:30-10pm; Wed, Benny Uyetake 7:30-10pm; (658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908; Coolcatcafe.com

APRIL 6, 2017 25

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2017 TOUR

LIVE ON MAUI with Tabla Maestro Daniel Paul

1445 Baldwin Ave - 579.9261

Friday, April 14TH Concert/Kirtan 7:30-9:30pm

Saturday, April 15TH Bhakti Satsang 4:00pm-6:30pm

Advance Tickets for EACH EVENT $30 Cash ONLY at: Maui Kombucha in Haiku, MacNet in Kahului, Monsoon India in Kihei and Island Spirit Yoga in Lahaina. OR $40 Cash at the Doors All Ticket Sales FINAL, Non-Transferrable, NO Refunds, NO Exchanges General Admission Seating, Come Early for Best Seats Monsoon India Restaurant Vegetarian Pupus & Chai Tea for Purchase Friday Night

26 APRIL 6, 2017

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SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 - 879-0004

SHEARWATER TAVERN 1279 S. Kihei Rd. - 793-2324

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-6444

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S. Kihei Rd. - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

WHAT ALES YOU 1913 S Kihei Rd. - 214-6581

DOWN THE HATCH - Thu, Noa Zeb 10:30am12:30pm; Fri, Corey Rezner 10:30am-12:30pm; Sat, Kendall and The Armadillo 10:30am-12:30pm; Sun, Alex Calma 10:30am-12:30pm; Mon, Ian Galleisky 10:30am-12:30pm; Tue, Jason Macapulay 10:30am12:30pm; Wed, Corey Rezner 10:30am-12:30pm; (658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4900; Dthmaui.com DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Thu, Ben DeLeon 3-5pm; Thu, Garrett Probst and Keali’i Lum 6-8:30pm; Fri, Garrett Probst 3-5pm; Fri, Henry Kapono 5-7pm; Fri, Damon Parrillo and Tim Osbourne 6-8:30pm; Sat, Danyel Alana 3-5pm; Sat, Damon Parrillo and Ron Hetten 6-8:30pm; Sun, Keali’i Lum 3-5pm; Sun, Damien Awai 6-8:30pm; Mon, Keali’i Lum 3-5pm; Mon, Danyel Alana and Guest 6-8:30pm; Tue, Ben DeLeon 3-5pm; Tue, Roy Kato and Guest 6-8:30pm; Wed, Garrett Probst 3-5pm; Wed, Malanai 6-8:30pm; (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Ka‘anapali); 808-662-2900; Dukesmaui.com HULA GRILL - Thu, Kealii Lum and Friends 2-5pm; Thu, Damon Parillo and Friends 6-9pm; Fri, Derick Sebastian 11am-1pm; Fri, Ma’a 2-5pm; Sat, Kawika Lum Ho 2-5pm; Sat, Danyel Alana and Friends 6-9pm; Sun, Josh Lum 2-5pm; Sun, Lahui 6-9pm; Mon, Ua Aloha Maji 2-5pm; Mon, Keali’i Lum and Friends 6-9pm; Tue, Kawika Lum Ho 2-5pm; Tue, Wili Pohaku 6-9pm; Wed, Danyel Alana 2-5pm; Wed, Ernest Pua’a, Roy Kato and Kamuela Hamakua 6-9pm; (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-667-6636; Hulagrillkaanapali.com JAPENGO AT HYATT REGENCY MAUI - ThuWed, Nightly Entertainment 6-8pm; (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-4727; Japengomaui.com JAVA JAZZ - Thu, Rick Glencross 7-10pm; Fri, Guest Musician 7-10pm; Sat, Rick Glencross 7-10pm; Mon, Mel and Sound Lab 7-10pm; Tue, Nino Toscano and Paul Bunuan 7-10pm; Wed, Guest Musician 7-10pm; (3350 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Honokowai); 808-667-0787; Javajazzmaui.com KA‘ANAPALI SHORES BEACH CLUB RESTAURANT - Fri, Harry Troupe 3-6pm; Wed, Benny Uyetake 6-9pm; (3445 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-2211. KIMO’S - Thu, Ma’a 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, Ma’a 6:308:30pm; Sun, Benny and Rock 6-8pm; Mon, Benny and Rock 6-8pm; Tue, Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm; (845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811; Kimosmaui.com LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Thu, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Sat, Joseph Chee 7:30-9:30pm; Wed, Scotty Rotten 7:309:30pm; (730 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0700; Lahainapizzaco.com LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Thu, Josh Kahula and Dave of ‘Nuff Sedd’ 3-5pm; Fri, JD and Friends 3-5pm; Sun, ‘Kilohana’ Merv Oana and Duane Feig 3-5pm;

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Nestor Ugale, 5pm

Damien Awai 5pm & Joe Chee 10pm

Joe Chee 5pm & Marc Dumalata 10pm

Vitamin D, 10pm

MON & TUE- Mondo Kane 5pm, WED- Kanoa 5pm

Jamie Gallo, 4-6pm, DJ Big Mike, 10pm

Randall Rospond 4-6pm, DJ Gemini & Ynot, 10pm

Tom Conway 4-6pm, DJ Kamikazee 10pm

Viva La Rumba 4pm, Sunday Lounge w/ DJ Joralien, 10pm

MON- Kanoa 4pm, DJ Big Mike 10pm, TUE- Jon Bowser 4-6pm, DJ Salvo 10pm, WED- Natalie Nicole 4pm, DJ Lobstah 10pm

Lady Dlishz’s Maragarita Specials

Jus Us 808, no cover

Free Pool all day

Mary’s & Mimosas & SIN

MON-Martini Monday, TUE- $2 Tuesday w/ free pool all day, WED- Whiskey Wed, karaoke & free pool 6pm-close

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

Luna Overdrive, $4 cover, 8-12pm

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

Salsa Night w/ Barbara & Ernesto, 8pm-no cover

Comedy Night w/ Brian Michaels 8-10pm no cover

Capt Dan, 6:30-8:30pm

Louise Lambert & Curt Lee, 7pm

Karaoke, 8:30pm-close

Karaoke, 8pm-close

MON-WED-Karaoke, 8pm-close

Jason Arbilla, 7-9pm

Marc Dumalata, 7-9pm

Erica Ambrin, 7-9pm

Natalie Nicole, 7-9pm

MON- no music, TUE- Steve Norton 7-9pm, WED- Jon Bowser 7-9pm

Wed, Jarret Roback, Josh Kahula and Roy Kato 3-5pm; (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-4495; Leilanis.com

SOUTH MAUI

LONGHI’S - Thu, Summer Macedo and Shawn McLauglin 5:30-7:30pm; Fri, Brian and Meryl 5:307:30pm; Sun, Two Cats 6-9pm; Mon, Chad Kaya 5:30-7:30pm; Tue, Wilmont Kahaialii and Shawn McLaughlin 5:30-7:30pm; (888 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-2288; Longhis.com

BOTERO LOUNGE AT GRAND WAILEA - ThuSat, Contemporary Hawaiian Music 5-10pm; (3850 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-1234; Grandwailea. com/experience/dine/botero-lounge CHEESEBURGER ISLAND STYLE - Thu, Mark Burnett 5:30-8:30pm; (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-874-8990; Cheeseburgernation.com

Mondo Kane 5-7pm; Tue, Mondo Kane 5-7pm; (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-793-2324; Shearwatermaui.com SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Thu, Jaime Gallo 4-6pm; Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Sun, Viva La Rumba 4-6pm; Mon, Kanoa 4-6pm; Tue, Jon Bowser 4-6pm; Wed, Natalie Nicole 4-6pm; (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6444; Southshoretikilounge.com

MERRIMAN’S - Thu, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Fri, Brian Massa and Meryl Yecies 3-5pm; Fri, Peter deAquino 3-5pm; Fri, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Sat, Gabe and Austin 10am-1pm; Sat, Ranga Pae 5:308:30pm; Sun, Peter deAquino 3-5pm; Mon, David Wolf 3-5pm; Tue, Brian Massa and Meryl Yecies 3-5pm; Tue, Phil and Angela Benoit 5:30-8:30pm; Wed, Peter deAquino 3-5pm; Wed, Ranga Pae 5:308:30pm; (1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua); 808-669-6400; Merrimanshawaii.com

COW PIG BUN - Wed, Jazz Metropolis with Lee Norris 5-8pm; (535 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-875-8100; Cowpigbun.com

PACIFIC’O ON THE BEACH - Fri, The Armadillo 4:30-6:30pm; Sat, David King 4:30-6:30pm; (505 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-4341; Pacificomaui.com

KONO’S ON THE GREEN - Thu, Jim Spector 5:308:30pm; Fri, Sal Godinez Band 5-8pm; Sat, Neto Peraza 5:30-7:30pm; Sun, Island Soul Dance Party 5-8pm; Wed, Jim Spector 5:30-7:30pm; (470 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-633-4220; Konosonmaui.com

BEACH BUMS MA‘ALAEA - Fri, Mike Finkiewicz and Tom Cherry 5-8pm; Fri, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm; Wed, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; (300 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-243-2286; Beachbumshawaii.com

LUANA LOUNGE AT FAIRMONT KEA LANI - Fri-Sat, Live Entertainment 7-10pm; (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-4100; Fairmont.com/kea-lani-maui/dining/luana

KAHILI RESTAURANT - Thu, Brian and Meryl 4-5:30pm; Wed, Ron Kuala’au 4-5:30pm; (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-866-5025; Mauiliveevents.com

PAILOLO BAR AND GRILL AT WESTIN KA‘ANAPALI RESORT - Thu, Live Music 6-9pm; Tue, Live Music 5-8pm; Wed, Live Music 5-8pm; (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808667-3200; Westinkaanapali.com/dining/pailolo PAU HUAKA‘I TIKI BAR - Fri, Josh Sumibcay 5-8pm; Mon, Kawika Ortiz 6-8pm; (180 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-662-1000; Kaanapalibeach.hyatt.com PI ARTISAN PIZZERIA - Fri, Danyel Alana 6-9pm; Mon, Scot Freeman 6-9pm; Wed, DJ Zinn 6-9pm; (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0791; Pi808.com PINEAPPLE GRILL - Fri, Johnny Ringo 3-6pm; Sat, Kaliko’s Way 3-6pm; Sun, Codae 3-6pm; (200 Kapalua Dr.); 808-669-9600; Pineapplegrillmaui.com PIONEER INN - Thu, Greg di Piazza 5-8pm; Tue, Ah-Tim Eleniki 5-8pm; (658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808661-3636 / 808-270-4858; Pioneerinnmaui.com RELISH OCEANSIDE BAR AT WESTIN MAUI RESORT - Thu-Wed, Braddah Keoki Ruiz 6:30-9pm; (2365 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-667-2525; Westinmaui.com/dining/relish-oceanside SANGRITA GRILL AND CANTINA - Thu, Live Flamenco Music by Indio and Avi 6:30-8:30pm; (2580 Kekaa Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-662-6000; Sangritagrill.com SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT AT NAPILI KAI RESORT - Thu, Phillip Stevens 7-9pm; Fri, Phillip Stevens 7-9pm; Sat, Fausto Allosada 7-9pm; Sun, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Mon, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Tue, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Wed, Fausto Allosada 7-9pm; (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Lahaina); 808-669-1500; Seahousemaui.com THE DIRTY MONKEY - Thu-Wed, Guest Musician 3-6pm; (844 Front St., Lahaina); 808-419-6268; Thedirtymonkey.com

DIAMOND’S ICE BAR AND GRILL - Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 6-8pm; (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-8749299; Diamondsicebar.com GANNON’S - Thu, Ricardo Dioso 5:30-7:30pm; Fri, Fulton Tashombe 5:30-7:30pm; (100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-875-8080; Gannonsrestaurant.com

MAUI BREWING COMPANY - Tue, Elaine Ryan 6-8pm; (605 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-213-3002; Mauibrewingco.com MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Thu, Dat Guyz 1-3pm; Thu, Levi and Chad 4-6pm; Thu, Louis and Lewis 7-9pm; Fri, Stay EZ 1-3pm; Fri, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Sat, Ron Kualaua 1-3pm; Sat, An Den 4-6pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 7-9pm; Sun, T-Flatz and The Highlights 1-3pm; Sun, Dat Guyz 4-6pm; Sun, Ohana Groove 7-9pm; Mon, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Mon, Josh Kahula 7-9pm; Tue, Stay EZ 4-6pm; Tue, Ohana Groove 7-9pm; Wed, Damien and Brian 1-3pm; Wed, Alika 4-6pm; Wed, Jarret 7-9pm; (10 Wailea Gateway Center); 808-891-2322; Monkeypodkitchen.com/wailea MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Sat, Makai Jazz Group 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, The Celtic Tigers 7-9:30pm; (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-8741131; Mulligansontheblue.com OHANA SEAFOOD BAR AND GRILL - Thu-Wed, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-868-3247; Ohanaseafoodgrill.com PITA PARADISE - Sat, David Wolf 5:30-8pm; Sun, Phil and Angela Benoit 6:30-9pm; (34 Wailea Gateway Center); 808-879-7177; Pitaparadisehawaii.com SHEARWATER TAVERN - Thu, Nestor Ugale 5-7pm; Thu, Kanoa 5-7pm; Fri, Damien Awai 5-7pm; Fri, Joe Chee Jr. 10-10pm; Sat, Joe Chee Jr. 5-7pm; Sat, Marc Dumalata 10pm-12am; Sun, Vitamin D 5-7pm; Mon,

THE RESTAURANT AT HOTEL WAILEA - Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-9pm; Sat, Mark Johnstone 7-9pm; (555 Kaukahi Rd., Wailea); 808-879-2224; Hotelwailea.com/rhw WHAT ALES YOU - Thu, Jason Arcilla 7-9pm; Sat, Erica Ambrin 7-9pm; Wed, Jon Bowser 7-9pm; (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-214-6581; WhatAlesYouMaui.com

CENTRAL MAUI

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE - Thu-Wed, Local Live Music 5-8pm; (355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului); 808-877-9001; Kahuluialehouse.com PLAYMAKERS SPORTS BAR - Fri, Brant Quick 7-11pm; (928 L. Main St., Wailuku); 808-244-4804; Facebook.com/Playmakers-Sports-Bar SEASCAPE MA‘ALAEA RESTAURANT - Fri, Kaulike Pescaia 5-7:30pm; (192 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-5149-3071; Mauioceancenter.com/dine

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CAFE MAMBO MAUI - Tue, Brant Quick 4-8pm; (30 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-8021; Cafemambomaui.com CAFE DES AMIS - Mon, Mark Johnstone 6:308:30pm; (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-6323; Cdamaui.com CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT AND SALOON Thu, Mark Johnstone, 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Charley’s Live Band 7-10pm; Tue, Matt Del Olmo and Orion Hitzig 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, Randall Rospond 6:308:30pm; (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085; Charleysmaui.com NOURISH HEALTH BAR AND CAFE PAIA - Sat, Live Acoustic 6-8pm; (161 Hana Hwy., Paia); ; Facebook.com/pg/NourishHealthBarMaui

APRIL 6, 2017 27

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Horoscope

Sign Language ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

You’re not really better than everyone else. You just feel that way, and I’m sure it can look that way to you through your own very subjective perspective. Also, it certainly doesn’t help that you are better (or at least more awake, inspired, and interesting) than most people, as much as anyone can be compared to another. But be aware that your superiority complex–or anything that even smells like one–will get your ass kicked this week. Be humble, my dear, proud Ram. Be sweet and overflowing with humility and self-effacement. It’ll get you so much farther than bragging ever could. And those who believe in you (like me) won’t forget for a second that you are the bomb.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

You know that thing about your greatest strength being your greatest curse (and vice versa)? This week’s lesson is all about that. What’s your chief talent? Versatility and adaptability. How is that bad? When you’re so used to bending and warping to fit into whatever the situation (or relationship, especially) requires of you that you’re no longer sure who you really are, or what you really want. Isn’t that what’s happened? Get your head straight this week, Libra. And for a little while that means shutting down your incredible personal flexibility, until you’ve figured out what you’re really about again.

QUIZ understood

ANSWERS

...to questions from page 4

1: E–Rep. Kaniela Ing 2: D–At least a year 3: C–40 percent

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

You like to define things. I get it. You like knowing exactly where you stand in any situation, without lots of ambiguity and guesswork. However, for now you’ve got to let that shit go. The current situation can’t be defined, at least not yet; trying will just destroy it. Lower your horns and charge into the unknown. Let this thing be everything and nothing and anything, without even wondering (at least aloud) which. Enjoy it for whatever it is. If you don’t decide ahead of time that it’s not, it might turn out to be exactly what you want and need–and then some. GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

Your playful obsession with your appearance has faded somewhat; you used to crave a lot more attention than you need now, and do nearly anything to get it. I’m glad you’ve evolved, but would you consider reverting to your old ways anyway, just for this week–for others’ sakes, if not your own? The world around us is degenerating alarmingly rapidly into a horde of label-flaunting, unthinking and unutterably dull clones. I’m sorry to be so cynical, but most people are sheep. They need someone to give them “permission” before they can express their modicum of personality and individuality. Won’t you–just by boldly being your unique self–give it to them?

Putting on a mask (or other disguise) is a kind of magic. Suddenly you’re able to act out parts of yourself that don’t often get to come out and play. One of the reasons I love Scorpios is your willingness to try on lots of different masks and explore many (often extreme) sides to your personality. A problem occurs, however, when one of the masks becomes too comfortable, and you end up spending more time wearing it than is probably strictly healthy. I know this is part of you, and how you do life, diving deep into the most intense places you can find. But you’re missing out on a lot of other shit while you’re going there. Give it a break this week, Scorpio. Come up for air.

Goddamn, I despise cigarette smoke. I’m not sorry I’m so judgmental; when I see someone puffing away all I can think is: “Loser.” When someone whips out the cancer sticks–no matter how hot they are–it’s an instant turn-off. Everyone has their prejudices. I own mine proudly. What’s dangerous is when you’re not even aware of yours, or in denial about them. What kinds of (possibly unfair) judgments are you subjecting people to, Cancer? It’s okay to look at the world through a distorted lens–we all do, anyway. But if you’re going to look at your reality through thick, colored glasses, at least know what your prescription is.

I know it’s your competitiveness that drives you. But there have to be limits. You are amazing, and almost unstoppable–but there’s always going to be someone better. There’ll always be someone smarter, prettier, stronger, richer, more powerful, and so on. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t strive to be better. But run too hard at that brick wall and you may just knock yourself out of the race altogether. This week, give it a rest. There’s one thing, corny as it is, that you’re better at than anyone else: being yourself. Why not try just being the best you you can be, for a week? You can go back to trying to beat everyone else next week. AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

How strong are you, Leo? I’m not talking about proving you can ring the bell with the sledgehammer at the carnival’s jokey strength test. This isn’t about impressing your lover. The most powerful forces arrayed against you all come from within. This is about overcoming your own efforts at self-sabotage, which at this point have become quite sophisticated and subtle–probably falling under the laziness or lack of discipline categories. You know that if you could just get your shit together consistently, you’d be even brighter and shinier than you are now. What’s stopping you? It’s not your circumstances, despite what you tell yourself. It’s you. When are you going to stop doing that? VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

Screw that shit about keeping your enemies closer than your friends. It’s a good time to bring your friends in for some catch-up bonding, preferably far away from those who have it out for you. Focus especially on those long-lost friends you haven’t managed to see in years. Track them down. You need those people in your life. Start with Facebook-stalking, Google, hire a detective if you have to. Make time for this. It’s important. Rebuild fallen-down or burnt bridges this week; you’ll be thrilled and amazed at how many lands and spaces and loves they open to you.

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SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

Eagerness is almost always a good thing. But every once in a while restraint has its benefits. For example, if you’re too keen to bite into that fresh slice of pizza before it’s cooled, you won’t get to taste anything except burnt tongue for the next day or two. Wait a minute and the possibilities are endless. This situation’s a bit like that boiling hot mozzarella atop the slice of deliciousness in front of you. Show the tiniest bit of self-control and you’ll be rewarded. Too gungho, though, and you’re just going to get burned. CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

SEAN MICHAEL HOWER

Sorry, Aquarius. I can’t write you a proper horoscope right now because I want to go lie in a hammock for a while, sip iced tea, and listen to music. You might find that a lot of other people don’t have time to take care of you this week, either, because they’re too busy taking care of their own comforts and needs. Don’t take it too personally, though. Use it as an excuse to grab some much-needed downtime of your own. No one will expect you to be on call while they’re relaxing. And if they do, screw that; they’re just fooling themselves.

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PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

You’re a drama queen and at the same time you’re not. You’re not dramatic, say, in the way a slighted Cancer or aroused Aries would be. But you do seem to find ways to feel hurt over things no one else would even think about. This, I hope, is not news to you: you’re extremely sensitive! That sensitivity is a strength, mostly, but it can trip you up, especially when you’re dealing with one of the less insightful members of the zodiac (like an over-blunt Leo or a slip-tongued Virgo). Try not to hold it against them when they hurt your feelings—without even knowing it, probably. You’ve got a point, but that doesn’t mean harping on it is a good idea. May I make a suggestion? Let it go, if you can. To contact Caeriel send mail to sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

APRIL 6, 2017 29

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