20.50 Trevor Noah Daily Show May 25, 2017, Volume 20, Issue 50, MauiTime

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CELEBRATING 20 YEARS OF INDEPEND INDEPENDENCE ND N DENCE ENCE EN CE S SINCE INCE IN CE 1 1997 99 97

MAY 25, 2017

VOLUME 20

ISSUE 50

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TREVOR

NOAH

WE TALK STORY WITH THE DAILY SHOW HOST ABOUT TELLING JOKES IN THE AGE OF TRUMP

BLEAK WAILUKU

REPORT

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GAIA GOLDEN

SINGS

ALIEN RETURNS

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AGAIN

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MAY 25, 2017


Contents VOLUME 20 ✚ ISSUE 50

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION: What is your favorite Alien movie?

ON THE COVER: CELEBRATING 20 YEARS OF INDEPENDENCE INDEPEND ND N DENCE ENCE EN CE SINCE SIN INCE CE 1997 199 97

MAY 25, 2017

Advertising Executive: Sarah Gerlach (808) 283-3260 / sarah@mauitime.com Alien Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com Prometheus Graphic Designer: Jenn Carter The Neverending Story

ISSUE 50

FREE

Talking Story With The Daily Show Host Trevor Noah

NOAH

Photo By: Paul Mobley WE TALK STORY WITH THE DAILY SHOW HOST ABOUT TELLING JOKES IN THE AGE OF TRUMP

Cover Design By: Darris Hurst

PLUS

PG.10

BLEAK WAILUKU

REPORT

4 10 13 14 17 19 21 22 23 28 29 31

PG.5

GAIA GOLDEN

SINGS

ALIEN RETURNS

PG.14

AGAIN

PG.19

MAUITIME.COM

Culinary, Lifestyle & Business Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter

VOLUME 20

TREVOR

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Alien Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Aliens

NEWS & VIEWS FEATURE STORY DINING A&E THIS WEEK’S PICKS FILM CRITIQUE FILM TIMES DA KINE CALENDAR THE GRID CLASSIFIED HOROSCOPE MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Aliens Contributors: Jenn Brown, Caeriel Crestin, Suzanne Kayian, Andrew Miller, Alex Mitchell, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II Admin Executive: Shannon Kekahuna (808) 244-0777 / shan@mauitime.com Alien vs. Predator

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MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2017 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $110 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime. MauiTime 16 S. Market St., Ste. 2K, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday 5pm Classified: Monday Noon Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

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News & Views

by Anthony Pignataro

QUIZ understood 2. On May 19, Rep. Tulsi Gabbard, D–

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Hawaii, announced that she would no longer accept any campaign contributions from political action committees (PACs). According to the Center for Responsive Politics, how much of the $2.2 million Gabbard’s campaign raised in 2016 came from PACs? A. $1.9 million B. $1.4 million C. $996,328 D. $472,902 E. $101,984

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3. 1. On May 22, the state Department of Business, Economic Development and Tourism released a new report showing that Hawaii’s total consumer debt per capita rose to $67,010 in 2015. Where does rank nationwide? A. 2nd B. 10th C. 21st D. 37th E. 45th

Hawaii House Speaker Scott Saiki announced his new leadership team on May 18. It contains two Maui legislators. One is Rep. Kaniela Ing, who will be a Majority Policy Leader. Who is the second, who will serve as a Majority Whip? A. Rep. Angus McKelvey B. Rep. Lynn DeCoite C. Rep. Justin Woodson D. Rep. Joe Souki E. Rep. Kyle Yamashita

See answers, page 29

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On March 31, 2017 the world lost a bit of light.

Aaron Matthew Burnett born August 26,1980

was loved by everyone. Taken too soon but never to be forgotten. He was full of life and tattoos... Everyone loves corn on the cob! He was living the dream and loved cruising the coast in his home of Lahaina, Maui on his Harley “Blackie”. He ultimately died doing what he loved. He was a tradesman and a trusted business owner. He is survived by his mother Sandra Warfel (Florence, AZ), father Russ Cron (Camp Verde, AZ), 4 sisters, Tia Baize (Phoenix, AZ), Sarah Wozny (Glendale, AZ), Sarah Jane Jackson (Rimrock, AZ), Daphnie Cron (Camp Verde, AZ) and sixteen nieces and nephews. As well as countless loved ones and many friends that became his family. Please join his family and friends in a celebration of life on Saturday June 3rd, 2017 at Launiupoko Beach Park from 11am - 4 pm. Paddle out at 12:15. Light pupus provided. BYOB and board. All who knew Aaron are welcome.

We look forward to this time to remember Aaron together. 4

MAY 25, 2017


News & Views

by Anthony Pignataro

Coconut Wireless

PHOTO COURTESY MAUITIME

report, the survey results are positively upbeat. “The top three reasons respondents visit Wailuku Town are personal business; County/ government business; and arts and cultural activities,” states the survey results. “Difficulty finding parking; lack of diverse retail; and traffic/congestion were the biggest reasons respondents did not visit Wailuku Town more often.” According to PUMA, 1,196 people participated in the survey. Respondents were mostly women (66 percent). Nearly 41 percent of the respondents were between the ages of 50 and 69. What’s more, nearly 80 percent of respondents made at least $50,000 a year. They also typically visit Wailuku “once per week or more, by car, for personal business.” Perhaps because most parking spots are limited to two hours, they spend just one to two hours in town before leaving.

SURF LIFESTYLE–BUT IN A BOX!

Wailuku Municipal Parking Lot–with new stripes and everything!

NEW REPORT PAINTS BLEAK PICTURE OF WAILUKU Wailuku Town is in bad shape. It’s impossible to think otherwise after reading a new report from Progressive Urban Management Associates (PUMA), a Denver-based consultant firm working under contract for the County of Maui. Titled “Wailuku Town Market Profile,” the report’s executive summary was released along with the upcoming May 26 Maui Redevelopment Agency meeting agenda. It paints a stark, depressing picture of Wailuku Town today. “While Maui as a whole has experienced steady population growth, booming tourism, and rapidly rising cost of living, market conditions in Wailuku Town have remained largely unchanged over the last seven years,” states the report’s executive summary. “Simply, the rising tide on Maui is not lifting all boats. In Wailuku Town, there has been no population growth, as households have been getting older and smaller. Income has become stagnant and unemployment has been rising. There has been no significant new housing development and the existing building stock is aging and largely unimproved.” Here are other highlights (yes, I’m using the term ironically) from the executive summary. While not all of what follows is bad, much of it is: • Wailuku Town remains an employment hub for the region, with a daytime population that is 400% larger than its residential population thanks to an influx of nearly 2,000 workers. • Housing continues to be built across the island in an effort to keep up with demand–a projected 14,000 new units will

be needed by 2025–but the lack of inventory remains a cause of skyrocketing costs. Furthermore, this new housing is not being built in Wailuku Town, which has only seen 4% growth to its housing stock since 2010. • Given that a majority of new lodging in maui has been resort-based, Wailuku Town has the ability fill a lodging niche that is currently underserved on the island… Wailuku Town is a strong location for a small, boutique hotel…” • The [retail] vacancy rate currently sits at 14%. There are several code and compliance barriers, as well as a building stock in need of general improvements, that prevent new retail (in particular restaurants and bars) from locating in Wailuku Town. • Wailuku’s office vacancy was 16% in 2016… The lack of available parking for businesses is the primary barrier preventing Wailuku Town from fully realizing demand. • Arguably the most pronounced change in Wailuku Town since 2010 has been the

growing arts and cultural cluster: The ‘Iao Theater’s attendance has risen significantly over the past decade; the monthly First Friday event on Market Street has been established and continues to grow; Maui Academy of Performing Arts (MAPA) has plans to build a new black box theater; and the number of art galleries has tripled. Much of this is clearly laying the political groundwork for the County of Maui’s proposed Wailuku Town Parking and Events Facility, which is slated to sit atop the current Wailuku Municipal Parking lot (which was finally repaved and restriped, as you can see from the above photo). Indeed, another PUMA document made public along with the upcoming MRA meeting agenda outlines the results of a recent survey of what residents want in Wailuku. In late April and early May, PUMA conducted an online survey of residents as part of the planning process for the Parking and Events Facility. When compared to the Market Profile

Overheard “When I went to flight school, the first thing I learned was that most pilots are alcoholics… Scary s*** going on with foreign pilots, and domestic pilots. They should all be drug-tested, far as I’m concerned.” -Woman in Pi’ilani Village Shopping Center in Kihei, May 19

In the land of rubes, the entrepreneur is truly king. There’s nothing particularly original to that statement, but it does explain a great deal about why the United States behaves the way it does. We’ve seen this most pronounced in discussions about why the 2016 election turned out the way it did, and why Congressional Republicans continue to stand by President Donald Trump even in the face of relentless revelations about Trump’s corruption and contempt for the rule of law. But we mustn’t forget to a great portion of the American economy hinges on the choices made by rubes (sorry–consumers). In one of the great advancements in the field of manufactured necessities, I present Surf Shop Box. Oh, this is classic: for a low, low price of $49 a month, you too can live the “surf lifestyle”–regardless of where you live. “Surf Shop Box isn’t just for the core surfer,” co-owner Kevin Tighe said in a May 19 Pacific Business News article. “It’s also for someone who is aspiring to live the lifestyle.” That’s right, kids! For (slightly) less than $50 a month, you too can get a box of surf clothes shipped right to your home! What, you don’t actually surf, live no where near ocean waves and, honestly, would never get out on a board in the first place? Who cares! Surf Shop Box will help you look like a surfer (or rather, what some business guy thinks a surfer should look like). According to the PBN article, many of Surf Shop Box’s customers live in Florida, California, Hawaii, New York and Texas. But “Some of the most passionate members are in the middle of the country, like Minnesota and Indiana,” Tighe said in the story. Right now, Surf Shop Box is men-only, but that’s gonna change real soon! “We are aiming to launch women’s later this summer,” Tighe said in the PBN story. “We got a lot of demand for it. It’s a whole separate set of inventory, so it’s not as simple as it seems.” ■ editor@mauitime.com + @apignataro For more news articles, visit: mauitime.com/news

MAY 25, 2017

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News & Views

by Suzanne Kayian

MauiSphere PHOTO COURTESY ACLU

unparalleled breadth and depth to successfully counter these threats.” The ACLU affiliate has appointed a search committee and will post the position nationwide later this month. The ACLU of Hawaii is an affiliate of the nationwide ACLU, the country’s premier organization dedicated to protecting civil liberties and civil rights since 1920. A nonprofit and non-partisan organization, the local ACLU has more than 4,000 members and donors, a staff of seven and an annual budget of more than $1 million. The mission of the Hawaii affiliate of the ACLU is to protect the

Vanessa Chong

LONGTIME ACLU HAWAII DIRECTOR TO RETIRE

F FOURTH GRADERS EXPLORE KEALIA POND

civil liberties contained in the state and federal constitutions through litigation, legislative and public education programs statewide. The ACLU is funded primarily through private donations and offers its services at no cost to the public. The ACLU does not accept any government funds.

A local STEM program recently provided an opportunity for fourth provi students to explore Kealia Pond grade stude Wildlife Refuge. Maui EcoNational W Development Board (MEDB)’s nomic Dev

Women in Technology initiative coordinated the valuable experiential learning for 127 fourth grade students from Pomaika‘i and Kamali‘i Elementary Schools. The students spent a full day discovering the wonders of the wetlands at Kealia Pond, a 704-acre bird sanctuary on Maui’s south coast. With funding from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, students visited the Wildlife Refuge on May 11, accompanied by teachers and parents. Led by biologists, naturalists and other industry professionals, students observed Hawaii’s endangered wetland birds and migratory visitors firsthand. They also learned interesting facts about the area’s native plants and watershed ecology through fun, hands-on activities. Activities included collecting data using GPS and mobile devices, and creating story maps to raise community awareness about issues affecting local watersheds. “It was the perfect opportunity for our keiki to learn directly from wildlife experts, not only to make them more aware about different STEM careers but also, to teach them to become stewards of our islands,” said Isla Young, WIT K-12 STEM Director. STEM supporters acknowledge seven industry partners that participated in the field day: Ke‘lia Pond National Wildlife Refuge; East Maui Watershed Partnership; West Maui Mountains Watershed Partnership; Maui Nui Seabird Recovery Project; Leeward Haleakala Watershed Restoration Partnership; Natural Resource Data Solutions; and Hawaii DLNR, Division of Aquatic Resources. MEDB’s Women in Technology is an initiative whose mission is to promote STEM throughout the state with hands-on and project-based service learning. For more information, visit Womenintech.com. ■ editor@mauitime.com For more news articles, visit: mauitime.com/news

LEILANI FARM SANCTUARY FOUNDER HAS NEW BOOK COMING OUT Laurelee Blanchard, the founder of Leilani Farm Sanctuary, will take readers on a journey from corporate America to nonprofit animal rescue in her new book Finding Paradise: Leilani Farm Sanctuary of Maui. The book, which will be released this summer, chronicles Blanchard’s life running a sanctuary for rescued farm animals in Haiku. In the book, Blanchard reflects on her harrowing childhood, the early ex-

PHOTO COURTESY MEDB

Vanessa Chong, longtime executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union Hawaii chapter, will be retiring in early 2018. Chong first joined the ACLU staff in 1981 and became the organization’s executive director in 1984. “Vanessa is leaving us a vital and strong organization and we look forward to a smooth transition,” said ACLU Hawaii Board President Barbara Ankersmit in a May 15 news release. The affiliate has grown in size, effectiveness and influence statewide during Chong’s tenure, according to Ankersmit. “The ACLU has been at the forefront of many of Hawaii’s key civil liberties and civil rights issues and we are grateful that Vanessa has been at the helm through every challenge,” she said. “When Vanessa took over as executive director in 1984, Hawaii’s prisons were in deplorable conditions,” Ankersmit said. “The ACLU filed its first class action lawsuit that year in partnership with local and national ACLU lawyers to challenge those conditions in the courts.” The local ACLU has also proven itself a tireless advocate and key partner on issues such as ensuring the equal protection of the laws for racial, ethnic and religious minorities, protecting reproductive rights, securing marriage equality for same-sex couples, encouraging fair treatment of homeless individuals, and ensuring free speech and protest rights for all points of view. “The ACLU must continue to help Hawai`i be vigilant in protecting hardwon freedoms while constantly striving to raise awareness about their importance,” said Ankersmit. Chong is confident that the ACLU will be even stronger in the years to come. “Civil liberties and civil rights are being eroded as never before,” Chong said. “The ACLU is the one organization whose years of experience give it the

periences that shaped her, and her highly successful career in commercial real estate. She also talks about the joys and challenges of marriage and her decision to abandon her pursuit of money to start one of the most well-respected animal sanctuaries in the United States. “Laurelee Blanchard has done what millions dream of but few dare do,” said Ocean Robbins, CEO of The Food Revolution Network. “She left behind the American dream of unlimited consumption and chose instead a deeper dream of limitless compassion. At one level, hers is a story of selfless service. But at a deeper level, it is actually a story of how we can all find ourselves and our true fulfillment when we choose to live our dreams.” Blanchard is well known on Maui for her dedication to plant-based eating and saving the lives of a variety of animals including pigs, goats, chickens, donkeys, geese, ducks, deer, sheep, dogs, cattle and more. Blanchard’s Leilani Farm Sanctuary is located on an eight-acre farm in Haiku. It’s an all-volunteer, nonprofit organization created to provide shelter and care for rescued animals, humane education to the community and a model of ccompassionate living.

Kids love the pond

MAY 25, 2017

7


News & Views

by Chuck Shepard

News Of The Weird ENTREPRENEURIAL SPIRIT

B LE & A D A P TA T H IG R B E MUST B IR A B LE S K IL LS D E S R E T U P M CO IT OOL CRED EARN SCH

A San Francisco startup recently introduced a countertop gadget to squeeze fruit and vegetables for you so that your hands don’t get sore. However, the Juicero (a) requires that the fruit and veggies be pre-sliced in precise sections conveniently available for purchase from the Juicero company, (b) has, for some reason, a Wi-Fi connection, and (c) sells for $399. (Bonus: Creator Jeff Dunn originally priced it at $699, but had to discount it after brutal shopper feedback. Double Bonus: Venture capitalists actually invested $120 million to develop the Juicero, anticipating frenzied consumer love.)

Email Inquiries to interns@mauitime.com 16 S. Market Street, Ste. 2k 96793 Wailuku, HI 9 6793

MONUMENT TO FLOSSING Russian artist Mariana Shumkova is certainly doing her part for oral hygiene, publicly unveiling her St. Petersburg statuette of a frightening, malformed head displaying actual extracted human teeth, misaligned and populating holes in the face that represent the mouth and eyes. She told Pravda in April that “only (something with) a strong emotional impact” would make people think about tooth care.

GREAT ART!

Maui County Farm Bureau’s Ag in the Classroom

Empowering Our Youth Congratulations to all recipients of the Monsanto Hawaii Science Education Fund grant and Life Sciences Scholarship! As a long-time supporter of STEM education in Hawaii, we’re proud to celebrate and encourage students and teachers in local communities where our employees live and work. Our Life Sciences Scholarship program is designed to help high school seniors with their college education. The Science Education Fund assists local schools with equipment and tools to enhance their science curriculum. 8F SF BMTP QSPVE UP TVQQPSU SPCPUJDT QSPHSBNT TDJFODF GBJST TDIPPM ÜFME trips, and STEM-related community events that empower our youth – our islands’ future. :PV DBO MFBSO NPSF BCPVU PVS FġPSUT UP TVQQPSU FEVDBUJPO BHSJDVMUVSF BOE sustainability. Please visit us at www.MonsantoHawaii.com.

Artist Lucy Gafford of Mobile, Alabama, has a flourishing audience of fans (exact numbers not revealed), reported AL.com in March, but lacking a formal “brick and mortar” gallery show, she must exhibit her estimated 400 pieces online only. Gafford, who has long hair, periodically flings loose, wet strands onto her shower wall and arranges them into designs, which she photographs and posts, at a rate of about one new creation a week since 2014.

BRIGHT IDEAS Though complete details were not available in news reports of the case, it is nonetheless clear that magistrates in Llandudno, Wales, had ordered several punishments in April for David Roberts, 50, including probation, a curfew, paying court costs, and, in the magistrates’ words, that Roberts attend a “thinking skills” course. Roberts had overreacted to a speeding motorcyclist on a footpath by later installing a chest-high, barbed-wire line across the path that almost slashed another cyclist. (A search did not turn up “thinking skills” courses in Wales–or in America, where they are certainly badly needed, even though successful classes of that type would surely make News of the Weird’s job harder.)

RAISING A HARDY GENERATION Helping to grow a sustainable future for agriculture, and rooted in Hawaii for 50 years.

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MAY 25, 2017

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Preschoolers at the Elves and Fairies Woodland Nursery in Edmondsham, England, rough it all day long outside, using tools (even a saw!), burning wood, planting crops. Climbing ropes and rolling in the mud are also encouraged. Kids as young as age 2 grow and cook herbs and

vegetables (incidentally absorbing “arithmetic” by measuring ingredients). In its most recent accreditation inspection, the nursery was judged “outstanding.”

CRIMINAL DEFENSES UNLIKELY TO SUCCEED To protest a disorderly conduct charge in Sebastian, Florida, in March, Kristen Morrow, 37, and George Harris, 25 (who were so “active” under a blanket that bystanders complained), began screaming at a sheriff’s deputy–that Morrow is a “famous music talent” and that the couple are “with” the Illuminati. (The shadowy “Illuminati,” if it exists, reputedly forbids associates to acknowledge that it exists.) Morrow and Harris were arrested. And Wesley Pettis, 24, charged with damaging 60 trees in West Jordan, Utah, in 2016, was ordered to probation and counseling in March, stemming from his defense that, well, the trees had hurt him “first.”

LEGENDARY GERMAN ENGINEERING The state-of-the-art Berlin Brandenburg Airport, originally scheduled to open in 2012, has largely been “completed,” but ubiquitous malfunctions have moved the opening back to at least 2020. Among the problems: cabling wrongly laid out; escalators too short; 4,000 doors incorrectly numbered; a chief planner who turned out to be an impostor; complete failure of the “futuristic” fire safety system, e.g., no smoke exhaust and no working alarms (provoking a suggested alternative to just hire 800 low-paid staff to walk around the airport and watch for fires). The initial $2.2 billion price tag is now $6.5 billion (and counting).

WHY? JUST… BECAUSE The AquaGenie, subject of a current crowdfunding campaign, would be a $70 water bottle with Wi-Fi. Fill the bottle and enter your “water goals”; the app will alert you to various courses of action if you’ve insufficiently hydrated yourself. And already on the market: A company called Blacksocks has introduced Calf Socks Classic With Plus–a pair of socks with an internet connection. The smartphone app can help you color-match your socks and tell you, among other things, whether it’s time to wash them (10 pairs, $189).

DARK DAY FOR COMPETITIVE EATING A 42-year-old man choked to death on April 2 at a Voodoo Doughnut shop in Denver as he accepted the store’s “Tex-Ass Challenge” to eat a half-pounder (equivalent of six regular donuts) in 80 seconds. Later the same day, in Fairfield, Connecticut, a 21-year-old college student died, three days after collapsing, choking, at a pancake-eating contest at the Sacred Heart University student center. ■


Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 16 S. Market St, Ste. 2K, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

I

was at south end of S Turns in Kahana and went snorkeling in the shallows where the turtles are plentiful. I saw a baby honu caught in some fishing line. The turtle could not get out of the line and was stuck underwater. I tried to pull out the line but it was too meshed in the turtle. Since this was shallow water and close to shore, I asked people on shore if they had a knife. Remarkably, they did. Another person with a snorkel came out and cut the line while I held it taunt. We were able to let the honu free but we found a lot more line. The little honu went right to the surface to get air. What’s more, it only had three flippers, the fourth being a stub. I don’t know what happened but we need to take care of these wonderful creatures. Fishing offshore is plentiful, but letting the line go if it breaks in the water is a big problem to our ocean life. ■

Illustration by Ron Pitts mauiartistronpitts.com

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MAY 25, 2017

9


TREVOR

NOAH’S COMING TO

MAUI

WE TALK STORY WITH THE DAILY SHOW HOST ABOUT TELLING JOKES IN THE AGE OF TRUMP BY TOMMY RUSSO

T

revor Noah is one of the smartest and most dynamic people on television today. In 2015, the South African comedian took over for Jon Stewart as host of the popular The Daily Show on Comedy Central. It’s an understatement to say he’s been busy this last year. Noah was always interesting to watch, but ever since Donald Trump entered the White House, he’s become downright vital. On May 25, Noah will do stand-up at the Maui Arts and Cultural Center. I recently spoke with him by phone about how he

10 MAY 25, 2017

PHOTO BY PAUL MOBLEY

got started, why he was so damned honest in his memoir Born of a Crime and how he’s weathering the Age of Trump.

Q: A:

So are you excited to come to Hawaii?

I’m beyond excited, man. I’ve dreamed of coming to Hawaii. I never ever thought I’d get to the place. So you know, this is one of my bucket list adventures that I get to celebrate so I’m really happy about that.

Q: A: Q: A:

then everything else will come after that. Do you surf?

Q:

Any ambitions of kiteboarding?

You and your team are killing it on The Daily Show, and with the daily change in the news cycle–and we’re seeing several major news story break per day. How frustrating is it to not have time to develop jokes in the Era of Trump?

You know, I’ve never thought about that. I think I’ll just kinda master the standup paddle board right now and

You know what, I don’t see it as frustrating. I see it as exciting and as a challenge. As you say because stories are breaking multiple

No I don’t, but I watch surfers, so I’ll be good.

A:


times in a day, it gives us material for the show. What we do is we just let it take up all the space in the show so whereas we’d have more fun in the second half of the show just messing around with random news stories, we try to aim the show and have it have more of a focus. You know? So I really enjoy it and we have a good time doing that. Both your Trump and Russian impressions are great. With recent reports of activists being prosecuted for laughing and a reporter being arrested–in normal times this should be a stupid and ridiculous question to ask–but do you have any actual concerns of being jailed or deported by this administration for satire?

Q:

Oh, I don’t know, I mean if that did happen I don’t think it would be the worse thing to happen in my life.You know luckily I come from a very beautiful country so if I got deported it’s not like I’m going to hell. I’d go home and I’d figure out how to do The Daily Show from there. I think we’re a long ways away from that but there are a few people in the administration who are not particularly fans of free speech or of people who don’t take them as seriously as they wish to be taken.

A:

A lot of people can feel that their country or the idea of what their country is being taken away from them. And most of those people that feel that way then resort to the only tool they now how respond with and that is racism. Donald Trump has really tapped into a lot of that. It’s that old motto, “We’ve got to get our country back, we’ve got to win again” and essentially it was always there. It’s just people over time maybe felt that there was no answer, you know? They felt like they didn’t have a plan, and Donald Trump came along and said, “No I will be your voice, I will be that force that you need.” And people were very excited to hear that.

Q:

In your book, you’re so honest about stories of racism and finding your place in the world, growing up with domestic violence, the relationship with your father, your mother and stepfather. How hard was it for you to write Born A Crime?

Once you make the decision to be honest, I don’t find it to be that difficult. The hardest moment is making that decision because there are so many questions that come to your mind. Am I going to embarrass myself or my family? Am I opening myself up too much to strangers for sharing my story? Once you get over that and once

A:

of it as a war, then your citizens have become enemies. Jeff Sessions is the kind of guy that looks like he’s about to embark on that journey. We’ll be keeping a keen eye on that and what we can do is talk about it. I don’t mean to shape something that still has the power it once had, but now it’s our job to talk about it and shine a little light on what we see happening in the world of the Justice Department. Any thoughts on impeachment? It seems like the Teflon Don squeezes past everything thrown at him. Do you think his current scandals will effect him? Or will he keep snaking past them?

Q:

I think we’re so far out that we won’t really have a clear idea for a long time. [Robert] Mueller seems to be really one of the best prosecutors that they could have appointed. But the Donald has an amazing ability to slip away from many situations that most of his peers would have been snagged by. So I think essentially we’re going to get to a place where what ever truth is will come out. But at the end of the day, impeachment doesn’t mean you’re out. With the House and the Senate controlled by Republicans, we don’t know if that’s going to matter at the end of the day. I think that for a lot of people they

A:

Let’s talk about our current administration and the Republican Party. Do you think the Republicans and the administration are as tone deaf as they seem or are they just beholden to special interests? What do you see is the root of the current mess of this democracy?

Q:

I think essentially the Republicans made a deal with Donald Trump, whether it was spoken or unspoken, and that deal was we will stand by and try to ignore all the craziness that you come with if you help push through our agendas. I mean if you think about it, Trump wasn’t even really particularly interested in politics. He wants to be president, but he doesn’t want to do president. So they’re trying to get their tax cuts all passed. And you realize over and over again, like with health care, with any other rules they try to implement, the Republicans are all about that stuff. That’s really almost become their only driving force right now. And so I think they’re getting along well because of that. I think they’re just irritated by his lack of politicking–he’s not particularly good at disguising his motives or his actions.

Q:

With every jump in progress, you’re going to have a moment where there is a backlash. That happens with administrations. That happens with laws that are passed. So we live in a country where we say gay people get rights, you see black people becoming a president or moving up in the administration.

A:

In your book you talk about being a kid and stealing liquor-filled chocolates, breaking windows, hustling and dealing in goods to make ends meet. You rationalize those times very well. In your comedy documentary You Laugh But It’s True, you show South African comedians frustrated with you leapfrogging them and not paying your dues, so to speak. Looking at your career now, being thrusted on such a huge stage as The Daily Show, how do you explain your success?

Q:

This is the thing about ‘dues’ in any way, shape or form: the truth is we pay our dues when people are watching and when people are not. So a lot of the time when people say you haven’t paid your dues, what they really mean is, “I haven’t seen you paying your dues.” I remember when I was

A:

TREVOR NOAH Thursday, May 25 8pm (This show is sold out, and the scheduled 10pm show was cancelled shortly before presstime)

A:

In your book Born A Crime, you really break down the racism that exists and existed through apartheid and we see this resurgence of racism in the US. It’s almost as if Trump has given a hall pass for these people to come out and wave their racist flags they’ve kept under wraps for years. What are your thoughts on the effects this racism will have on future generations?

humor and finding what we share in terms of funniness and then slowly we evolve that and move to a place of discussing ideas and concepts amongst ourselves. In terms of evolving, I always try to evolve myself as a person which I hope means my comedy evolves as well–the way I see the world, what kinds of jokes I make, what try to talk about and how I try to approach a subject. I always hope that the evolution continues regardless of what I’m doing.

Maui Arts & Cultural Center 1 Cameron Way, Kahului 808-242-SHOW Mauiarts.org PHOTO COURTESY TREVORNOAH.COM

you ask all of those questions, I find it a lot easier to write an honest story about yourself and your life. And essentially that is what I ended up trying to do. There are so many political figures and flacks in the Trump Administration and his political party. Is there any specific political character that you look forward to poking fun at?

Q:

Looking forward to? I look forward to poking fun at Jeff Sessions. I mean, he’s about to embark on a journey that is going to take America back to a place that many people realize was a mistake. And that was fighting a war on drugs as opposed to treating the drug problem as an epidemic, because that’s what it is. Many Americans regardless of their skin color have been affected by an opioid crisis. Because of a racialized past America wasn’t able to see that this wasn’t a drug addict problem–this was a problem fueled by many different things. People suffer from this and people need to be helped and when you think of them as people who need to be helped, you treat it differently. When you think

A:

have to realize the answer is most likely not going to come from the inside. The answer is going to come from the people. And that’s where the vote comes. People are going, “Oh, Special Prosecutor, what can the Senate do? And what can the FBI do?” And you know, you have one of the most powerful tools in your vote. And there were a lot of people who in this election took that vote for granted and now people get to live through four years of the effect. Let’s talk about your comedy. How has your stand-up changed or evolved for you? Earlier in your career you joked about your upbringing in South Africa–are you coming with political jokes now?

Q:

Well, I’ve always been political in my comedy, but when you go to a new place you have to introduce yourself to an audience. It’s like meeting a person; if you meet this human being for the first time, you can’t get straight into politics. It’s not a great way to start a conversation. So my stand-up has essentially evolved in the U.S. in the same way that it evolved everywhere else.You start from a common place and that is finding our

A:

chatting with Jerry Seinfeld, he was shocked how much I worked when I first got to the U.S. Yes, I may have risen fairly quickly according to some people, but when you think about it… Let me put it this way–when I was working in New York, I was doing a shows at a tiny theater. Nobody knew who I was. I was in an empty space literally trying to get people to come in and watch the show. And that was at the Bleecker Street Theater in New York. I would do that from Monday through Thursday, and then Thursday I would fly to London and I would do shows on the weekend and then I would fly back and continue that cycle. And then after my shows at Bleecker Street I would go to the Comedy Cellar and I would do five shows a night, and then I’d find another club and would be home at 4am, 5am. So I mean it depends on what ‘dues’ means to some people. I always feel like hard work is often times rewarded. I like to think that all of the lucky things that I’ve experienced in my life have been best appreciated because of the hard work that I’ve put in. So I don’t deny that I’m lucky but I go, “I’m lucky that I work hard.” ■ Tommy@mauitime.com For more A&E articles, visit: mauitime.com/entertainment

MAY 25, 2017

11


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12 MAY 25, 2017


Food & Drink

by Jen Russo

The Pint And Cork

PHOTO BY SEAN M HOWER

WAILEA’S GASTROPUB KEEPS GETTING BETTER

Chef Maka Kwon

THE PINT & CORK 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr. 808-727-2038 Thepintandcork.com

Y

PHOTO BY SEAN M HOWER

Rib eye entree with red wine gravy and mash

“Chef George Gomes Jr. was my mentor for about eight years,” says Kwon. “Before I was working here we were brainstorming ideas for menus and gastropubs, and we thought what about food that we want to eat as chefs. You know when you go to a party, if you are a doctor people ask you about health, if you are a mechanic people ask you about their car. If you work at a restaurant, people are asking you about what to eat. So the menu is based on what I want to eat.” Kwon likes fish, so naturally the poke dish is incredible. “I am a seafood guy, I love fish,” he says. “The fresh catch today is herb-crusted ono, with mashed potatoes and Hamakua mushrooms. It is very simple, very clean, something easy on the palate. We are a gastropub so we gotta have mac and cheese. Mac and cheese has a lot of Bechamel, lot of cheese, lot of black pepper, creamy as hell. We have made about 20,000 mac and cheeses so far. It’s a ridiculous number.”

PHOTO BY SEAN M HOWER

ou probably think of The Shops at Wailea as a fancy visitor shopping destination, but lately I’ve been finding more reasons to visit. Like Keoni’s Hot Lava Dancefit studio free Saturday Zumba class, Bootzie’s Enchantress Gallery featuring local artists, and, recently, The Pint and Cork. The Pint and Cork had a quiet opening last June, and their bar and menu have evolved quite a bit since then. The gastropub has a modern layout with flat TV screens mounted over the bar, and a sound system that plays retro tunes. Walking in, it feels like you’ve stepped into a global metro location, with dim lighting, dark masculine wood furnishings and crisp climate control. “This doesn’t look like Maui,” says Chef Maka Kwon. “You could be on Oahu, this could be Chinatown. This could be San Francisco in the Tenderloin.You could be in LA.” The bar has a strong whiskey selection, big craft beer list and a tight gastropub menu. “We have a lot of craft beer,” says Scott

Pacer, Managing Partner at The Pint and Cork. “We have a great whiskey list. Our menu for whiskey is nice. It has all the notes and descriptions for each whiskey to help you order. We don’t have the biggest whiskey selection but we have one of the best ones, just from the sheer fact that we are knowledgeable and able to go into the descriptions more than other places. We carry a lot of Maui Brewing Co. beer. The menu has evolved into what it is today. In June, the menu will change again. Every quarter we change a few things around. People that come here want to taste different things.” The menu has a lot of unique dishes, but everything is very comfort food-oriented. “I lived in Kauai for 10 years, and I love fish sandwiches,” says Pacer. “I have never had a better one than this one on our menu. I don’t like getting them too dry; this one is never dry, it has tonnato sauce and Swiss. The moco is delicious–it’s my favorite: pork stew, slow cooked, and we throw it on two scoops rice and put two fried eggs on top. The shrimp and grits is really good–it started out on the breakfast menu for football season. On the entrees, I love the ribeye. Chef Maka does such an amazing job with the red wine gravy. I’m from the midwest originally, so I’m a

big gravy guy. I can’t get away from it. Our chicken marsala is also strong.” The entree menu is fairly new. Pacer said it’s a bit of a challenge to keep expanding the menu but they keep everything really fresh. “We don’t have a big kitchen,” says Pacer. “It’s not big enough to have a heat lamp. So all the food comes straight from the chef to your table. Our mac and cheese is made to order from scratch. It takes a little longer to make. Same with the chicken wings.” Despite being a gastropub, Chef Maka has developed a few unique vegetarian entrees that blew me away. In fact, I like some of them more than the meat dishes. He says his wife, Maui photographer Jessica Pearl-Kwon, is a vegetarian, and has inspired, tested and approved the dishes that appear on the menu. “Yeah, there’s a lot of stuff on the menu that my wife eats because Jessica is a vegetarian,” says Kwon. “The mushroom salad is something I would always make for her. Now there is a cult following for that. It’s

Crafted cocktails and beer

just simple. We treat the mushrooms like we respect them. We cook them for literally 11 seconds, we want them medium rare, almost the texture of abalone. It is just a fun menu.” Then there is the green bean tofu salad with lilikoi dressing. “I buy a lot of herbs at home but then you only use them for particular things so after a while they die in the fridge,” says Kwon. “So in our house all the herbs we have we break them down and use it in our salads, and I would put all kinds of veggies like green beans. My wife said you should put this on the menu but I said no, this is our thing at home. But it made it on the menu with a lilikoi dressing. It’s all fresh herbs, cilantro, Italian parsley, mint, Thai basil, a little bit of greens, green beans, carrots, radish, and tofu. The herbs give it lots of flavor.” Ultimately, Kwon said he wanted to develop a gastropub menu around dishes that he knows chefs want to eat.

Their bib burger is also popular, named as such because you need a bib to eat it. “We almost didn’t put the burger on the menu,” says Kwon. “The burger is a pain in our side from the beginning because we have to age the beef. We want it aged 28 days. Then after we grind it, we bloom it for 24 hours. Then we mix it and patty it. It’s the beef that makes it so good. Plus everything that goes with it: the fried egg, the Russian dressing, the bacon. We have sold over 24,000 burgers.” The Pint and Cork has a happy hour daily from 2pm to 5pm and industry late night special, too. They’re open from 11am to 2am daily, and the kitchen serves food until midnight. On Wednesdays, they do a wine or whiskey special. Check their website for updates on their events at Thepintandcork.com. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit: mauitime.com/food-drink

MAY 25, 2017 13


A&E

by Jen Russo

Lost In Paradise PAIA MUSICIAN GAIA GOLDEN IS RELEASING A NEW ALBUM two years working on her music release. “I’m producing my own music now,” she says. “At the end of the day when I write a song, I know what I want it to sound like, I know what I want it to be about and I know what I want the video to look like. I’m creative in that aspect. Now I’m at the level where what I put out is really what I want it to sound like. I’ve been working on this release for two years. It took me five months to record it and a year to produce it. I wrote it about boys I dated. It’s about different boys I’ve liked.” Her songs are all personal. What I really liked about the album was its edgy pop element. “’Bad Boy’ is the single,” she says. “I fell in

available on Spotify and iTunes, but you can see her perform it live this weekend. “This music is the first time I am releasing something,” she says. “This is the first time I’m really proud of what I’m putting out there. This is really me. There are songs like ‘Island,’ which is a poem, and ‘Bad Boy’ is about never finding a real boyfriend because you only like bad boys. It’s a broad spectrum of me. The stuff that I did before is either stuff I felt someone was pushing me in a certain direction or they would give me songs to write to and wasn’t connecting with it. So the five that I did before I might redo. Working in LA is just such a grind. It’s not a happy place. Ev-

PHOTO COURTESY GAIA GOLDEN

I

t’s early in the morning in Paia and I’m meeting Gaia Golden at her parent’s coffee shop, Da Vine Art, where she also moonlights as a barista. This weekend, Golden will debut her new album at Casanova and The Dirty Monkey, with five tracks that she’s poured heart and soul into for the last two years. “I have been doing piano and singing since I was six, but I moved to LA when I was 16 to go to music school,” says Golden. “I went to the Musicians Institute in Hollywood. At first I thought I wanted to be a Disney artist. Disney artists are Hollywood pop artists like Carly Rae Jepsen. It’s uptempo, no swearing, very light, PG-13. You can be six and listen to it, or you can be 50 to listen to it–a very broad age range. “ But two years into it, and after writing two Disney pop songs, she realized that path wasn’t for her. “I realized when I was writing that all of my songs are about sex,” says Golden. “I can’t be myself if I’m going to be a Disney pop art-

ist. So I switched lanes. I started writing edgier music. At the time I was around 19 to 20, going back and forth to New York to work with a producer my manager set me up with.” But working with producers just frustrated her artistry. “The producers would say, ‘Let’s change the chorus, and let’s change this and that,’” says Golden. “It’s like telling an artist to move the eyeball in their painting and change the color. You’re gonna be like, ‘Yeah, but this is my fucking painting. Don’t change my art.’ It upset me when they would get my song to 75 percent but never exactly how I envisioned. I didn’t want to be stuck with a song that would hopefully get big, but then I would have to sing it for the next 30 years and it wasn’t what I really envisioned. So after working with two or three producers, I went back to music school for a year and a half and learned production. I decided to do it all on my own.” She recorded five songs while she was on the mainland, scrapped them all, then moved back to Maui. She’s spent the last

PHOTO COURTESY GAIA GOLDEN

14 MAY 25, 2017

PHOTO COURTESY GAIA GOLDEN

love with this boy who was pursuing me. He got me out of this toxic relationship. He was the funnest boy, loved to dance and go out. But then he broke up with me on my birthday. That night on my birthday he was out with someone else. I was at a concert and there he was with another girl. He said he didn’t know how to tell me. We went on and off for six months. Then I was dating another hot mess, an alcoholic, could not get his shit together. I like hot messes. When I got back together with the other guy, he was like, ‘What is up with you? Why do you like bad boys?’ I just like the entertainment of it. The song is about that process for me.” The songs are catchy and fun, you get hooked. The hard part is getting it out there now. “I’ve been struggling with how to get my music out there,” she says. “I’m using Instagram, I am @GaiaGolden. I’m going internet-strong. My friends have a lot of followers. I’m going to do some Snapchat filters at the high schools. This is all new to me. I’ve read all these blogs and books.” The album, titled Lost in Paradise is

eryone is searching for more. Now I’m happy. I moved back home three years ago. I’m more of a creative person. I’m more myself.” ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more A&E stories, visit: mauitime.com/entertainment

GAIA GOLDEN ALBUM RELEASE Fri, May 26: Special guest Lily Fangs and DJs Tyler Mccain and DaboDose. 21+. 9:30pm. Casanova Italian Restaurant and Deli, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220; Casanovamaui.com Sat, May 27: Special guests CPness x A.Ward and DJ Kid Continental. 21+. 9:30pm. The Dirty Monkey, (844 Front St., Lahaina); 808-419-6268; Thedirtymonkey.com.


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MAY 25, 2017 15


16 MAY 25, 2017


Picks

by Alex Mitchell

This Week's Picks THURSDAY, MAY 25 MARIA MULDAUR – Maria Muldaur and her Red Hot Bluesiana Band will perform at the Maui Arts and Cultural Center (MACC). The concert will feature a fusion of American roots, blues, jazz, swamp funk and gospel music. Hear tunes from Muldaur’s newest album, Steady Love. $55+. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Mauiarts.org. Photo courtesy the MACC

NA WAI ‘EHA TRIO – The Na Wai ‘Eha Trio will perform at the Baldwin Home Museum as part of the Lahaina Res-toration Foundation’s free monthly Hawaiian Music Series.. They’re a talented music group comprised of brothers born and raised on Maui. They’ll play classic songs like “Pua ‘Ahihi,” “Ke Aloha” and “Aloha Ka Manini.” Free. 6pm. Baldwin Home Museum, (120 Dickenson St., Lahaina); 808-661-3262; Lahainarestoration.org/baldwin-home-museum. Photo courtesy of Karee Carlucci

FRIDAY, MAY 26 KIHEI FOURTH FRIDAY – This month’s Kihei Fourth Friday town party will feature live music from the Maui 8 Track Players, line dancing with Get Up and Dance and a live show with teen band Girl Meets Boy. This monthly community event is always a good time with family fun, local food vendors, shopping and more. Free. 6pm. Azeka Shopping Center, (1280 S Kihei Rd.); 808-879-5000; Mauifridays.com. Photo courtesy of Facebook/Maui 8 Track Players

PINT NIGHT FOR THE BIRDS – Pint Night for the Birds happens at the Maui Brewing Company in Kahana. The evening is a fundraiser for Maui Forest Bird Recovery Project (MFBRP), a Maui nonprofit that focuses their efforts on recovering Maui’s birds and restoring their habitats. Half the proceeds will go directly to MFBRP, so stop by for a pint and a meal with your family and friends. 6pm. Maui Brewing Company Kahana, (4405 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Kahana); 808669-3474; Mauibrewingco.com. Photo of endangered I‘iwi: U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service

FRIDAY, FR F R ID I DAY, MAY 26 EAST MEETS WEST FESTIVAL – The East Meets West Festiv Festival will take place at the Iao Theater Friday, May 26 Saturday, May 27. Presented by Jazz Maui and the Arts and Sat Education For Children Group (AECG), there’ll be an exciting line-up of multicultural dance and professional jazz fusion artists. Ictus, Ic an instrumental jazz fusion ensemble, will headbot nights. $15-25. 6:30pm-9:30pm. Iao Theater, (68 line both N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-242-6969; Mauionstage.com. Photo courtesy of Karee Carlucci

THE LAMONTS – Grab your parachute, wear your dancing shoes and throw caution to the wind and take a seat on Lamont Air. Stow your baggage in the overhead bin and shake your luscious lumps to the special flavor of funky hip-hop and punk rock that The Lamonts will serve up at their Fleetwood’s debut. No oxygen mask required. Sets by DJs CPness and Boomshot will fluff the crowd before and after. 9pm. Fleetwood’s on Front St., (744 Front St., Lahaina); 808-669-6425. Photo courtesy Aydin Say

FRIDAY, FRID IID DAY MAY 26

SATURDAY, MAY 27

KALUANUI CENTENNIAL – The Kaluanui Centennial Exhibition will run at the Hui No‘eau Visual Arts Center from Friday, May 26th through Thursday, June 22. The 100-year celebration will honor the history of the Kaluanui Estate, built by C.W. Dickey for the Baldwin family in 1917. A hundred art pieces have been selected for this special celebration, so stop by the Hui for the opening event. Free. 9am. Hui No‘eau Visual Arts Center, (2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-572-6560; Huinoeau.com. Photo courtesy of Hui No‘eau

RIDE OF SILENCE – Maui Bicycle League’s memorial Ride of Silence is part of Maui’s National Bike Month celebration. It will begin at the Target parking lot in Kahului and head toward the Mokulele bike path. The Ride of Silence is a worldwide event that honors bicyclists who’ve been killed or injured while riding. The group is asked to ride 12mph in silence and wear white shirts/jerseys. Register online. Free. 8:30am. Mauibicyclingleague.org. Photo courtesy of Kelsey Colpitts

SATURDAY, MAY 27 PORN & CHICKEN FESTIVAL – DJ Poundtown’s Porn and Chicken Festival happens at Da Warehouse Maui. This special event honors “everyone’s favorite things” with a night of music from local Maui DJ’s Monks, Illz, Kurt TitusX and BLKSHP. Rachel Deboer will do blacklight face painting, Zen Panda will snap pics and there’ll be visuals by VJ Professor LightWAV. $10-25. 9pm. Da Warehouse Maui, (200 Waiehu Beach Rd., Wailuku); 808-688-8008; Dawarehousemaui.com. Photo courtesy of Flickr/ Paolo Valdemarin

BBQ SASS – BBQ Sass will be at ProArts Playhouse. The funny folks of Free Range Comedy will deliver improv knee-slappers and zany shenanigans. Get $2 off when you check in on Yelp or bring a can of food for the Maui Food Bank. $10. 7:30pm. ProArts Playhouse, (1280 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-463-6550; Mauifreerangecomedy.com. Photo: Pixabay

SATURDAY, MAY 27 AINA NALU FUNDRAISER – The Aina Nalu Wine and Silent Auction Fundraiser will take place at the Aina Nalu Pavilion in Lahaina. Celebrating their Sweet 16, the event is a fundraiser for the Lahaina After School Tutor Project. There’ll be wine, pupus, a silent auction and live entertainment with Kaniela Q. $60. 6pm. Aina Nalu Pavilion, (660 Wainee St., Lahaina); 808-344-5008; Pfee.org. Photo courtesy of Flickr/ Alex Ranaldi

HAWAII’S VOICE TALENT COMPETITION – Hawaii’s Voice Talent Competition and Concert will happen at the Maui Theatre. The event will feature Maui teens competing for $10,000 in cash and prizes. Attendees can also enjoy a benefit concert with Willie K and Kalani Pe‘a, George Kahumoku Jr., Richard Ho‘opi‘i, Ata Damasco and Arlie Asiu. Tickets can be purchased online. Time TBA. $40-120. Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; Mauitheatre.com. Photo courtesy of Facebook/Willie K

MONDAY, MAY 29

SATURDAY, MAY 27 KARAOKE STAR SATURDAYS – It’s time for another of the Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center’s Karaoke Star Saturdays. Collect all your cool karaoke friends and head to the mall to sing with Dean Sakurai of Star Tracks Karaoke Maui. There will be thousands of songs to choose from, from Hawaii favorites to pop hits. Free. 5pm. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-8774325; Queenkaahumanucenter.com. Photo courtesy of Flickr/ Andrew Yee

BLOOD BANK OF HAWAII DRIVE – Blood Bank of Hawaii’s Maui and Molokai Blood Drives run from Monday, May 29 through Monday, Sept. 4. This is the first time Blood Bank of Hawaii will hold a blood drive on Molokai. In order to encourage more blood donations in Maui County, BBH is offering a variety of summer giveaways and promotions like $100 Foodland gift cards, and a grand prize three-night neighbor island getaway with lodging, airfare and a $250 gift card. Go online for locations and times. Blood Bank of Hawaii; 808-848-4770; BHS. org. Photo courtesy of Flickr/Bryan Jones

MAY 25, 2017 17


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Film

by Barry Wurst II

'Alien: Covenant' More aliens, blood and really dumb spacemen ★★★★★ Rated R / 122 Min.

I

t’s been about a decade since filmmaker Ridley Scott made the unguarded comment about making an Alien prequel. He was reflecting on Alien, only his second movie in a career marked with milestones, and thinking aloud what a prequel would be like. He imagined a focus on the Alien planet, going back to that mysterious spaceship and explaining where the enormous Space Jockey had come from. Long after Scott had nothing left to prove (with films ranging from Blade Runner, Thelma & Louise, G.I. Jane, Gladiator and Black Hawk Down), he helmed the highly debated and extraordinary Prometheus. Now, he gives us Alien: Covenant, which is both Prometheus II and a prequel to Alien. To cut to the chase, everything that was wonderful and frustrating about Prometheus is in this new movie and, without question, sci-fi fans will draw a heavy line in the sand over whether they love or loathe it. Set a decade after the events of the last movie, a distress call sends the crew of the spaceship Covenant on an exploratory rescue mission. Led by a man of faith (Billy Crudup), a heartbroken scientist (Katherine

Waterston) and the android Walter (Michael Fassbender), the crew finds themselves in terrible danger almost immediately after landing on the too-good-to-be-true planet. I won’t reveal anything else, though longtime Alien fans can expect facehuggers, xenomorphs and gore, oh my. Scott was 38-years old when he made Alien and has been thinking about it for decades, while others (ranging from James Cameron to David Fincher) shaped the direction of the franchise without him. Now, at the age of 79, Scott is still at the top of his powers, can direct whatever movie he wants and hasn’t made an obvious, predictable action/horror/sci-fi cash grab. His new Alien movies are filled with mystery, ask ambitious questions they can’t quite answer and are maddeningly ambitious space operas. Scott’s twisted, intense Alien: Covenant is even colder than Prometheus and is at its strongest when it gets especially weird. The Alien attack scenes are fierce and disturbing, though we’re always one step ahead of the movie when the monsters are on the prowl. Far better are the truly strange and eerie scenes where Fassbender’s character is the focus. Fassbender’s performance as David in Prometheus was wondrous and Oscar-worthy. He’s even better here, exud-

This Summer We’ll Publish Our Two BIGGEST issues EVER!!

Ewww... Alien drool

ing precision of movement and understanding that, when playing a robot, less is more. Waterston makes a refreshing and authentic female lead and the supporting cast is engaging enough to elevate their roles above mere creature chow. Alien: Covenant takes wild risks with its world-building, adding out-there additions to the established mythology, as well as Roman iconography, Greek legend, poetry and literary references. If Prometheus was a reconfiguring of Forbidden Planet, then this is Scott’s The Island of Doctor Moreau. Of course, his new film makes the same missteps as Prometheus, as the colonists make absurdly careless mistakes (like not wearing space suits as they explore an unknown planet).

Scott wisely sets an unhurried pace, limits the Alien scenes and isn’t afraid to go full tilt when things go really crazy. The best (and most likely to be the debated) scene is an odd flute lesson, in which two beings wordlessly size one another up. The worst moment is a stalk n’ slash with two lovers in a shower, a crass, strangely unerotic bit that seems better suited for one of those awful AVP movies than this one. Overall, I admire how Scott has made a risk-taking, elegant sci-fi shocker. He turns 80 this November and is already plotting another Alien installment. As long as he keeps making these courageously divisive revisionist Alien films, I’ll be there opening weekend. ■

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Film

by Alex Mitchell

Showtimes MALL MEGAPLEX

11:35 1:50 4:40 7:50 10:40.

Snatched-R- 2D THU 10:45 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45

Maui Mall, Kahului, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm)

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2- PG13- 2D THU

10:00. 2D FRI-WED 10:45 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00, 2D THU 10:45 1:00 3:15 5:30. Alien: Covenant- R- 2D THU 11:00 12:00 1:40 2:40 4:20 5:20 7:10 8:00 9:50 10:40. 2D FRITHU 11:30 2:10 4:50 7:30 10:10. The Fate of the Furious- PG13- 2D THU 10:45 1:35 4:25 7:20. Beauty and the Beast-PG- 2D THU 3:15 6:00.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales- PG13- 2D THU 7:00 10:00, 3D THU 7:30

10:30. 2D FRI-WED 11:50 12:50 3:40 6:00 6:30 7:00 9:50, 3D FRI-WED 12:20 1:20 :10 4:40 7:30 10:20 10:40. Baywatch-R- 2D THU 12:30 1:00 3:30 4:00 6:30 7:00 9:30 10:00. 2D FRI-WED 12:40 1:10 3:00 4:00 6:50 7:20 9:10 10:10. Alien: Covenant- R- 2D THU 11:30 1:00 2:20 4:00 4:30 7:00 10:00. 2D FRI-WED 11:30 1:40 3:40 7:30 9:40 10:00. Diary of a Wimpy Kid- PG- 2D THU 12:00 2:10 5:10 10:20. 2D FRI-SAT 11:30 2:20 5:30 7:40 10:30, 2D SUN 2:20 5:30 7:40 10:30, 2D MONWED 11:30 2:20 5:30 7:40 10:30. Everything, Everything- PG13- 2D THU 11:20 1:50 5:20 7:50 10:10. 2D FRI-WED 11:20 2:30 4:50 8:00 10:20. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword- PG13- 2D THU 11:20 2:15 4:20 7:10 10:20. 2D FRI-WED

11:40 12:10 3:00 3:30 6:50 10:10. 3D THU 1:20 4:30 7:40. 2D FRI-WED 11:30 1:40 2:30 4:30 5:00 7:20 7:50 10:10 10:40. Born in China- G- 2D THU 11:20. 2D FRI-WED 11:40. The Fate of the Furious- PG13- 2D THU 11:30 2:10 4:40 7:30 9:50. The Circle- PG13- 2D THU 10:40. Snatched- R- 2D THU 11:50 2:30 5:10 7:40 10:30.

KA‘AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka‘ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului. 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: every day until 4pm) Baywatch-R- 2D THU 10:45 11:45 1:30 2:30 4:15 5:15 7:00 8:00 9:40 10:40. 2D FRI-THU 10:45 11:45 1:30 2:30 4:15 5:15 7:00 8:00 9:40 10:40. Diary of a Wimpy Kid- PG- 2D THU 10:30 12:40 2:50 5:00 7:15 9:35. 2D FRI-WED 10:30 12:40 2:50 5:00 7:15 9:35, 2D THU 10:30 12:40 2:50 5:00 7:15. Dear Other Self- NR- 2D FRI-THU 12:00 2:30 5:00 7:30 10:00.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day) Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales- PG13- 2D THU 7:00, 3D THU 10:10. 2D

FRI-WED 12:40 7:00, 3D FRI-WED 3:50 10:10. Baywatch-R- 2D THU 1:00 4:00 7:15 10:15. 2D

FRI-WED 1:00 4:00 7:15 10:15. Diary of a Wimpy Kid- PG- 2D THU 12:15 2:45 5:00

7:30 9:50. 2D FRI-WED 12:15 2:45 5:00 7:30 9:50. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2- PG13- 2D THU

12:30, 3D THU 3:40.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales opens this week

NEW THIS WEEK DEAR OTHER SELF - NR - Comedy - A woman has to decide whether to stay at work or travel the world. 110 min. PIRATES OF CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES - PG13 - Action/Adventure - Johnny Depp returns yet again to play Captain Jack Sparrow, who this time is looking for the Trident of Poseidon or some such trinket. 129 min.

NOW PLAYING ALIEN: COVENANT - R - Sci Fi/Horror - In yet another Alien prequel, humans go into space, then get eaten by ravaging space aliens. The end. See this week’s film review. 122 min. BAYWATCH - R - Action/Comedy - Yet another stupid TV show gets rebooted because Hollywood hates all things creative and imaginative. Stars The Rock and Zac Efron.

BORN IN CHINA - G - Documentary - Disneynature presents this look at young pandas, golden monkeys and snow leopards in China. 76 min. DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: THE LONG HAUL - PG - Comedy/Family - A family road trip goes way, way off course. Been there, done that. 91 min. EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING - PG-13 - Drama/Romance - A teen who’s somehow allergic to everything falls for the boy next door. 96 min. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 PG13 - Action/Sci-Fi - The team’s adventures continue as they learn about Peter Quill’s true parentage. 136 min. KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD PG13 - Action/Adventure - Yet another remake of the legend of King Arthur, his sword Excalibur, etc. Stars a bunch of pasty white guys. 126 min. THE LOST CITY OF Z - PG13 - Action/Adventure - A British explorer vanishes in the Amazon in

the 1920s while searching for a lost city. Based on a true story. 141 min. SNATCHED - R - Action/Comedy - After a woman is dumped, she convinces her cautious mother to go on vacation with her. Stars Amy Schumer and Goldie Hawn. 90 min.

LAST CHANCE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST - PG - Fantasy/Musical - Emma Watson stars in this live-action version of the famous fairy tale in which a young woman falls in love with a buffalo. Also stars Dan Stevens. 129 min. THE CIRCLE - PG13 - Drama/Sci-Fi - Hermione Granger and Finn from Star Wars uncover a nefarious plot at a big tech company. Stars Emma Watson, Tom Hanks and John Boyega. 110 min. THE FATE OF THE FURIOUS - PG13 - Action/ Crime - A beautiful woman seduces Dom (Vin Diesel) and he finds himself involved in terrorism. Also stars Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham. 136 min.

MAY 25, 2017 21


Calendar

by Alex Mitchell & Shannon Kekahuna

Da Kine Calendar BIG SHOWS NAOR NAVE PROJECT - Fri. May 26. Enjoy a blend of carefully crafted covers and originals as they explore rock, pop, Middle Eastern and singersongwriter styles of music. Featuring Naor Nave (vocals, guitar and songwriting), Kevin Garland (drums and percussion), Tim Hackbarth (bass) and a few surprise guests. 7pm. Mulligan’s on the Blue, (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131; Mulligansontheblue.com GAIA GOLDEN ALBUM RELEASE - Fri. May 26. Come celebrate Gaia Golden’s first solo album release “Lost In Paradise.” There will also be special guest Lily Fangs and DJs Tyler Mccain and DaboDose. 21+. 9:30pm. Casanova Italian Restaurant and Deli, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220; Casanovamaui.com GAIA GOLDEN ALBUM RELEASE - Sat. May 27. Celebrate Gaia Golden’s first solo album release Lost In Paradise with CPness x A. Ward and DJ Kid Continental. 21+. 9:30pm. The Dirty Monkey, (844 Front St., Lahaina); 808-419-6268; Thedirtymonkey.com

STAGE SHOWS WARREN AND ANNABELLE’S MAGIC SHOW - Mon-Sat. Warren Gibson, one of the country’s premier sleight-of-hand magicians, treats you to the best “close-up” magic and comedy in a beautiful 78-seat venue. Annabelle, their resident ghost, will entertain you while you dine, enjoy cocktails, appetizers and yummy desserts. $64-104.50. 5pm. Warren and Annabelle’s, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-6244; Warrenandannabelles.com ‘ULALENA - Mon, Tue, Thur, Fri. Delight in the richness of Hawaiian history and culture through authentic Hawaiian music, dance and over 100 instruments played live in a dynamic, colorful, emotional, and entertaining theatrical performance. Embark on this powerful journey, and leave with a deeper understanding of the island’s culture, and the true essence of aloha. $29.99 Keiki / $59.99 Adults. Children 5 and under are free. Kama‘aina and military rates, and dinner partner offers are available. 5pm. Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; Mauitheatre.com NA LIO DINNER - Thu. May 25. Sit back and enjoy the story of the horse in Hawaii and discover how the Hawaiian Cowboys, and the horse became a part of Hawaiian culture. Check-in at the shop and the shuttle will transport you to Kahalawai Farms and Stables for the dinner and show. The menu will be seasonal and prepared on location by Kalei’s Food Truck and Catering. Visit with miniature horses Julio and Freedom, take pictures and meet the horses and cast of Na Lio. BYOB. $99. 5:30pm. Na Lio Gift Shop, (335 Keawe St., Lahaina); 808-270-2255; Naliomaui.com ‘BURN’N LOVE’ - Mon, Tue, Thur, Fri. Maui Theatre’s Burn’n Love brings back the golden era of Elvis in Hawaii. Starring Darren Lee, relive the days of Blue Hawaii with one of the best Elvis impersonators in the world. $60-110. 7:30pm. Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; Mauitheatre.com COMEDY AND MAGIC WITH HOLDEN MOWAT - Sat. May 27. Join Maui Magician Holden Mowat with his interactive, all-ages magic-comedy performance on the mall’s center stage. 11:30am. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; Lahainacannerymall.com MAGIC ON MAUI WITH SETH GRABEL - Sundays and Wednesdays. America’s Got Talent star Seth Grabel is on Maui. Grabel is a magician, illusionist and headlining entertainer. Direct from Las Vegas, he brings to Maui a hilariously skillful show

22 MAY 25, 2017

that is fun for all ages. Tickets start at $49 for adults and $24.50 for children under 12. Special VIP meet-and-greet packages, Kama‘aina and group rates are available. 5pm. Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-856-7900; Mauitheatre.com MIGRATIONS: LUAU SHOW - Wed. May 31. Immerse in the action of authentic Polynesian dance with master of ceremonies, dancers, musicians and fire artists, Manutea Nui E, a hula halau. There will be traditional ‘awa ceremony with performer at each table and custom head lei made with master lei maker. Enjoy plated, locally sourced Pacific Rim-Hawaiian fusion cuisine followed by an intimate fire pit talk story session with performers. Seating is limited to 50 guests, reservations are required. $199. 5:30pm. Sugar Beach Events, (85 N. Kihei Rd.); 808-856-6151; Sugarbeacheventshawaii.com FOUREVER FAB SHOW MAUI - Wed. May 31. Fourever Fab and its founding members have been performing the hits of the world’s most-loved lads, The Beatles, for over 20 years. They continue to h sound-alike sound sou d aalike e vocals oca s perfect their performance with nts to t pay tribute to and the original instruments eneration. the songs that defined a generation. or Ticket start at $59.99 for adults and $29.99 for chil-dren (age 5 through 11). Ten percent discount for Kama‘aina with Hawaii ID. 6:30pm. Fourever Fab Show at Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-365-7535; Foureverfabshow.com CAN

sunset while enjoying a special three-course Sunset Menu which includes a glass of sparkling wine and an amuse bouche from the chef. $50. 5:30pm. Banyan Tree Restaurant at The RitzCarlton, Kapalua, (1 Ritz-Carlton Dr., Kapalua); 808-665-7096; Ritzcarlton.com/banyantree CASTAWAY’S SEAFOOD NIGHT - Fri. May 26. Enjoy a seafood extravaganza with fresh fish, clams, shrimp, crab leg cluster, Portuguese sausage, new potatoes, corn on the cob and garlic bread. $47.95. 5pm. Castaway Cafe, (45 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-661-9091; CastawayCafe.com FRIDAY NIGHT FILMS - Fri. May 26. Experience cocktails inspired by stars and classic films of the silver screen. Mixologists stir up movie magic following the movie complete with live music. 5:30pm. Luana Lounge at Fairmont Kea Lani, (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-4100; Fairmont.com/kea-lani-maui/dining/luana PRIME RIB BUFFET - Fri. May 26. Call for reservations. $37.75. 5:30pm. Kahili Restaurant, (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-242-6000; Mauilivee Mauiliveevents.com

HAP DINNER SHOW HAPA Sa Sat. May 27 - Sat. Jun 10. E Enjoy a fun filled even ning of awesome Hawaiian music and dine from a select menu of exceptional entrees, pupus, and cocktails starting at 6pm. $35 OUT K C in advance, $40 day CHE EK o of show. 7:30pm. KaWE E TH h hili Restaurant, (2500 YOU OF 17. Ho Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., KS E C G I P PA Wai Waikapu); 808-242-6000; ON Mauiliv Mauiliveevents.com

'T N O D T! E G FOR

GEORGE KAHUMOKU U W JR.’S SLACK KEY SHOW - Wed. May 31. Hosted by George and his Slack Key Show ino, SterOhana, see Peter deAquino, ling Seaton and Wainani Kealoha. Preshow dinner package also available for Sea House Restaurant, advance purchase required call or go online. $37.99. 7:30pm. Slack Key Show at Napili Kai Beach Resort, (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Napili); 808-669-3858; Slackkeyshow.com

SUNDAY BRUNCH AND BLOODY MARY BAR - Sun. May 28. Featuring an enhanced a la carte breakfast menu created by Chef David Viviano, a celebration of savory and sweet culinary delights. 10am. Cane and Canoe at Montage Kapalua, (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-662-6681; Caneandcanoe.com

MAUI FOODIE

SUNDAY BRUNCH - Sun. May 28. Call for reservations. $27.50. 10am. Kahili Restaurant, (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-242-6000; Mauiliveevents.com

MAUI TASTEMAKERS SERIES - Fri. May 26. Experience the flavors and taste the freshness of Ocean Organic Vodka. Enjoy handcrafted cocktails featuring the crisp, natural and clean vodka distilled here on Maui, using deep ocean mineral water and organic cane sugar. This three-course pre-fixe menu will comprise of three hand-crafted cocktails paired with dishes from Chef de Cuisine Gevin Utrillo and Sushi Chef Jin Hosono. 5:30pm. Japengo at Hyatt Regency Maui, (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-4727; Japengomaui.com KING’S COTTAGE TASTING ROOM - Thu. May 25. Built for King Kalakaua in 1856, the King’s Cottage is where you can taste complimentary MauiWine varieties and free historical cellar tours. 10am. MauiWine, Ulupalakua Vineyards, (14815 Pi‘ilani Hwy., Ulupalakua); 808-878-6058; Mauiwine.com KING’S VISIT WINE TASTING AND TOUR - Thu. May 25. Maui’s only winery is now offering the King’s Visit Wine Tasting and Tour. This is a great opportunity for wine lovers and for those that want to learn more about grape production on Maui. This tour includes visiting the Old Jail, tasting small-production single varietal Ulupalakua Vineyards estate wines, a walk through the vineyard grounds, and lots of opportunities to talk story about the history of Rose Ranch. $50. 3:30pm. MauiWine, Ulupalakua Vineyards, (14815 Pi‘ilani Hwy., Ulupalakua); 808-878-6058; Mauiwine.com KAPALUA SUNSET DINNER - Tuesday-Saturday. Sit back, relax and take in the beautiful Maui

WINE SOCIAL - Sundays and Mondays. Join in an intimate wine and food pairing with restaurant and wine list manager Jim Hansen. His thoughtful selections will be paired with light bites. 4:30pm. Pulehu, an Italian Grill at Westin Ka‘anapali Resort, (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3254; Pulehurestaurantmaui.com KO’S SUNDAY NIGHT LAULAU - Sun. May 28. Enjoy Chef Tylun Pang’s healthy and modern take on a traditional Hawaiian dish, the special seafood laulau includes Maui fresh catch fish, shrimp, scallops, spinach, mushrooms and baby bok choy, all wrapped in ti leaf, steamed, and served with Jasmine rice. 5pm. Ko at Fairmont Kea Lani, (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-2210; Korestaurant.com CASTAWAY’S DATE NIGHT - Wed. May 31. A perfect destination to bring your sweetheart with ocean front dining and couple specials. Enjoy entrees, house or Caesar salad and a bottle of wine for $49.95 per couple. 5pm. Castaway Cafe, (45 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-661-9091; CastawayCafe.com LUAU DINNER SHOW - Wed. May 31. The luau dinner show Huaka‘i: Journey through Polynesia includes traditional games, woodcarvers, cultural demonstrations and a buffet. There will be beautiful hula performances and the fire knife dance finale. 5:30pm. Ka‘anapali Beach Club Luau, (104 Ka‘anapali Shores); 888-582-8858; Huakailuau.com

ART SCENE BETH COOPER - Until - Mon. Jun 5. Beth Cooper has been working on linoleum cut prints and will be showing her latest pieces. The bold stark contrast of the black ink on white paper, and some prints of hand made, hand marbled paper are available for purchase. 10am. Lahaina Arts Society, (648 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-0111; Lahainaarts.com STEVE RINALDI - Until- Tue. May 30. Steve Rinaldi’s style is representational and locally inspired, with his portraits revealing the essence of an individual and his landscapes inspiring a sense of light and awe. Watch him paint in person every Tuesday in May. 11am. Maui Hands Paia, (84 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-9245; Mauihands.com WOOD CARVED TIKIS BY FOLAU TUPOU Until - Mon. May 29. At 15, Folau began carving and studying extensively the history of the Hawaiian gods, especially spiritual ones. His carvings are in public and private collections worldwide. Folau will be in the galley every Monday in May. 1pm. Maui Hands Makawao, (1169 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-2008; Mauihands.com KAREN SCARBOROUGH - Until- Mon. Jun 5. Karen Scarborough’s vibrant, original oil painting exhibition will reflect the unchanging beauty of Maui and the end of the sugar cane era in Hawaii. All of her works have been done “plein air.” Her exhibit will be on display in the Banyan Tree Gallery. 1pm. Lahaina Arts Society, (648 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-0111; Lahainaarts.com EXHIBIT: PIERO RESTA–ILLUMINATUS - Sun. May 21 - Sun. Jul 16. This retrospective exhibition honors an artist whose life’s work was infused with passion and spiritual transcendence within natural and mythological worlds. Piero Resta’s artistic career was immersed in the alchemy of philosophy, science, poetry and experimentation. Free. 10am. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Mauiarts.org WWII POP-UP DISPLAY - Fri. May 26. During World War II, approximately 33,000 JapaneseAmericans served in the US Armed Forces. These brave individuals volunteered to serve their country, even as that country questioned their loyalty. The display will feature WWII vignettes ranging from the music of the Nisei soldiers to personal memorabilia from the collections of Pfc. Susumu Fukuyoshi of the 100th Infantry Battalion and Pfc. Hiroichi Tomita of the 442nd Regimental Combat Team. 12pm. Nisei Veterans Memorial Center, (665 Kahului Beach Rd.); 808-244-6862; Nvmc.org JEWELS OF MAUI TRUNK SHOW - Fri. May 26 & Sun. May 28. Sharing the beauty, simplicity and elegance of the island with you, Jewels of Maui’s jewelry is handcrafted using a variety of quality materials. Purchase gems including Tahitian Pearls, coral pieces, seashells, sea glass and semi-precious stones. Or create your own design at the Jewelry Bar. All shells are hand-picked from Hawaii’s beaches and are never taken alive. 9am. Montage Kapalua Bay, (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-662-6600; Montagehotels.com/kapalua-bay ART WITH ALOHA: TALK STORY AND DEMONSTRATION - Fri. May 26. Lloyd Kumula‘au Sing Jr. and May Haunani Balino-Sing will demonstrate how to weave some examples of ‘ie basketry and will be displaying various artifacts of the art form. 10am. Hui No‘eau Visual Arts Center, (2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-572-6560; Huinoeau.com CAFE FRIDAY, LIVE ART AND MUSIC - Fri. May 26. Friday evenings at the cafe are bustling with published local artists creating amazing art along with live music from professional musicians and recording artists. 5:30pm. Cafe Cafe Maui, (129 Lahainaluna Rd.); 808-283-2739; Cafecafemaui.com


TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

5/25

5/26

5/27

5/28

5/29-5/31

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-1011

Gaia Golden Album Release Party, 9:30pm

Private Party (after 9:30pm)

Mark Johnstone & Friends, 6:30pm, no cover

Goods w/ DJ Jay P & DJ Joralien, 9pm, $10

Bad Communicators, 9pm, $10

Brunch & Bloody Mary Bar 7am

MON- Live Band & Open Mic 7-10pm, TUE- Tom Conway, 6:30pm, WED- Ryan Robinson, 6:30pm

Will Hartzog 7:30pm-10pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Justin Phillips 7-9pm; no cover

MON-Garrett Probst 7:30pm, TUE- Jazz at the Cat 7:30pm WED- Benny Uyetake 7pm

SIN

House Music

DJ $ Mike, 10pm

Gina Martinelli Band, 6pm

MON- Corona Day, TUE & WED Pool League

1188 Makawao Ave. - 572-0220

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St #160, Lahaina - 667-0988

DIAMOND'S ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-9299

DIRTY MONKEY 844 Front St., Lahaina - 419-6286

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

DOWN THE HATCH 658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4900

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. 744 Front St. (Rooftop), Lahaina - 669-6425

WED- Ladies Night 2.0 w/ Residents DJ Kid Continental, 10pm $10

Gaia Golden Album Release Party, 9:30pm

DJ Gary Oneal 9pm-close

Trivia Night 7pm

TBA

Service Industry Night, 10pm

Fresh Squeezed Friday, 6pm, DJ Gary O'Neal

Mick Fleetwood, Eric Gilliom & Kelly Covington, 7-10pm

Lamonts w/ CPness & DJ Boomshot, 9pm

WED- SIN w/ DJ Andrew, 10pm

TBA

MON- MA’s Mix 10pm, TUE- Ladies Night 10pm, WED- TBA

Trivia Night, 10pm

MON- BINGO TUE- $5 Tuesdays, WED- Wahine Wednesday Ladies Night, 10pm

Paul Marchetti Jazz Experience, 7-10pm

MON- HI Black & Gold 7-10pm, TUE- Mick Fleetwood & Willie K 7-10pm, WED- Paul West

TBA

House Shakers w/ Fulton Tashombe & Rock Hendricks, 7-10pm

FRIDAY NIGHT ART NIGHT - Fri. May 26. Visit the gallery for live music while they showcase a new artist of the week. Free. 6pm. Lahaina Printsellers Ltd., (764 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-5815; Printsellers.com

Tempo of the Heart will present Food for Thought, a rock benefit concert to support the Hawaii Farmers Union United (HFUU). 7pm. Iao Theater, (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-242-6969; Mauionstage.com; Tempooftheheart.org

and stories. Captain Paul Watson, the founder of Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, will be the keynote speaker and 2017 honoree. 21+. $95. 2pm. Lumeria Maui, (1813 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-579-8877; Lumeriamaui.com

TARYN ALESSANDRO SOLO SHOW - Fri. May 26. Join in an evening of art and fun at the solo exhibition and see the latest creations by Taryn. 7pm. Sargent’s Fine Art and Jewelry, (802 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-2131; Sargentsfineart.com; sargentsfinejewelry.com

BIG ISLAND JAZZ AND BLUES FESTIVAL - Sat. Jun 3. The sixth annual event will feature Russell Malone, Eric Marienthal, Bobby Watson, Pamela Baskin-Watson, Wayne Troups, Benny Uyetake, Rock Hendricks, Gary Washburn, The Honoka’a Select Jazz Band and The Iguanas from New Orleans. $50-100. 5pm. Maunakea Beach Hotel, (62-100 Mauna Kea Beach Dr., Waimea); 866-774-6236; Bigislandjazzandbluesfestival.com

MAMO ON MAUI: WEARABLE ART SHOW - Sat. Jun 17. A component of the Maoli Arts Movement, the wearable art show celebrates Hawaiian design in fabric and clothing. Many traditional Hawaiian patterns and designs–in kapa and weaving, weaponry and tools, tattoo and adornment–take their visual clues from nature. $35-65 ($65 ticket includes advance trunk show). Trunk Show starts at 6pm. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Mauiarts.org

‘ULANA ‘IE: BEGINNING HAWAIIAN BASKETRY - Sat. May 27 - Sun. May 28. This two-day workshop will teach participants how to start and finish a basket with a cover in the tradition of Hawaiian Basketry. $95 for members and $119 for non-members + $40 supply fee. Pre-registration is required. 9am. Hui No‘eau Visual Arts Center, (2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-572-6560; Huinoeau.com TREEHOUSE POP-UP SHOP - Sat. May 27. Featuring a curated collection of local makers and artisans. Enjoy coffee provided by Paia Bay Coffee and cupcakes by Maui Babycakes. 10am. Treehouse Space at Pauwela Cannery, (375 W. Kuiaha Rd., Haiku); 808-931-9243; Treehouse.space

POLITICAL EVENTS ‘THROWDOWN THURSDAY’ RALLY - Thu. May 25. Every Thursday, peaceful resistance continues in response to the many untenable policies the new administration is proposing that threaten democracy. Everyone is invited to come out and bring a sign reflecting why you march and make your voices heard. 4pm. University of Hawaii Maui College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-984-3500; Maui.hawaii.edu BLOSSOMS FOR THE BRAVE LEI-MAKING EVENT - Fri. May 26. The free event, co-hosted by Kaunoa Senior Services, the Dept. of Housing and Human Concerns and the Office of Mayor Alan Arakawa, is intended to gather the community to make more than 2,846 lei. The lei will be placed on veterans’ graves on Memorial Day at Maui Veterans Cemetery in Makawao. Live music by Kevin Kanemoto and Friends will be featured, along with Emcee Kathy Collins. 9am. Maui County Building, (200 S. High St., Wailuku)

TICKETS ON SALE TEMPO OF THE HEART ‘FOOD FOR THOUGHT CONCERT’ - Fri. Jun 2. The nonprofit organization

MON- Movies & Martinis 7:30 & 9:30pm, TUE-Latin Nights w/salsa music & dancing, 10pm, WED- Wine Down w/ music & dancing, 10pm

Saturday Sessions w/ DJ Decka, 10pm

CASANOVA CHARLEY’S

DJ Kurt’s Underground Dance Party ($1 cover goes to charity),10pm

Frisky Friday w/ DJ Skinny Guy, 10pm

SIN w/ DJ Decka, 10pm

KAPALUA WINE AND FOOD FESTIVAL - Thu. Jun 8 - Sun. Jun 11. This 36th annual “migration” brings together oenophiles, gourmands and enthusiasts of the good life to celebrate, learn and experience the finest culinary trends and viniculture. 10:30am. Kapalua Wine and Food Festival; Kapaluawineandfoodfestival.com DR. PUALANI KANAKA’OLE-KANAHELE IN THE GREEN ROOM - Fri. Jun 9. Dr. Pualani Kanaka‘ole-Kanahele’s lifetime accomplishments are being a Kumu Hula, writer, educator, musician and dedicated community leader. She will deliver an inspiring presentation followed by an intimate Q&A and book signing. There’ll also be a courtyard reception with dessert, champagne, book fair and live music. $10-25. 7pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Mauiarts.org ZENSHIN DAIKO’S ANNUAL TAIKO FESTIVAL CONCERT - Sat. Jun 10. 50 members of this impressive Maui group will perform some of their favorite pieces and premiering new works written by its members. $10-20. 7pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Mauiarts.org ‘RED, WHITE AND TUNA’ - Fri. Jun 16 - Sun. Jul 2. Laugh along as they return to the Town of Tuna, Texas. Where the Lions Club is too liberal and Patsy Cline never dies. Showtimes are Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays at 7:30pm and Sundays at 3pm (no performance on June 18). 7:30pm. ProArts Playhouse, (1280 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-463-6550; Proartsmaui.com ‘STRINGS N FINZ’ OCEAN CONSERVATION BENEFIT - Sat. Jun 17 - Sun. Jun 18. This is a celebration of ocean conservation in motion. See great musical acts and personalities share music

CALENDAR OF EVENTS THURSDAY, MAY 25 WISDOM FLOW STUDIOS PLAYCARE AND KEIKI CLASSES - Thu. May 25. Wisdom Flow Studio offers after school keiki classes such as hula, hip hop, ballet and more. They also have midday drop-in PlayCare program to support busy parents. Weekend Class times vary. 8:30am. Wisdom Flow Studios, (95 Makawao Ave.); 808-205-0908; WisdomFlowYoga.com TAI CHI - Thu. May 25. Southern Praying Mantis presents a tai chi demonstration and class with Master Sifu David Morane. All ages welcome. Free. 10am. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-4325; Queenkaahumanucenter.com HALAU HULA KAULUOKALA KUMU ULUWEHI GUERRERO HULA CLASSES - Thu. May 25. Halau Hula Kauluokala, under the direction of Kumu Uluwehi Guerrero, is opening classes for adults who cannot make a full halau commitment but still want hula in their lives. No fundraising, performance or protocol commitments. Must have knowledge of the hula basics. These are not beginner classes. $30. 5pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, (1 Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-SHOW; Mauiarts.org HULA LESSONS - Thu. May 25. Want to learn hula? Drop by the mall’s center stage for a free lesson with Jan Kitaguchi. Free. 5pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; Lahainacannerymall.com HALEAKALA CRATER SERVICE TRIP - Thu. May 25. Enthusiastic and fit hikers are sought for

a service trip for June 10-12, with the Friends of Haleakala National Park. The group will hike the Crater and work on protection of native plants in the Crater. Volunteers will stay at Kapalaoa Cabin on Saturday and Sunday nights, then hike out Monday. Learn more and register online, then contact the trip leader listed on the website. 8am. Haleakala National Park, (Haleakala Hwy., Kula); 808-205-4067; Fhnp.org WRITING CLASSES WITH JASMYNE BOSWELL - Thu. May 25 - Thu. Jun 8. Join interesting and creative men and women who offer talent, camaraderie and support for the ultimate writing experience and get inspired. Learn writing skills that will last you a lifetime! Six-week sessions $225+ G.E.T. Tax (register by May 25 for discounted $195 fee) 8am. Jasmyne Boswell, (Haiku); 808-268-5807; Jasmyneconsulting.com GOLF AERATION AND ‘PUKA DOG’ SPECIAL Thu. May 25 - Wed. May 31. The special is available during available tee times, and includes a hot dog with a paid round. Kama‘aina rates are available. $69-79. 8am. Kahili Golf Course, (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-242-4653; Kahiligolf.com GROOVE TO MOOVE - Thu. May 25. QKC, Meadow Gold Dairies and Hui No Ke Ola Pono presents Groove To Moove. Bring your walking shoes and get “moving” together toward a healthier community. 10am. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-8774325; Queenkaahumanucenter.com

FRIDAY, MAY 26 PAU HANA AND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT - Fri. May 26. Pau Hana at The Shops is more than just a happy hour. Pau Hana celebrates the end of the work week with live musical performances by Maui’s talented up and coming artists as well as Maui’s more well established musicians. Meet-up with friends and co-workers or gather the family together and start your weekend on a beautiful note. 4pm. The Shops at Wailea, (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-891-6770; Theshopsatwailea.com LET’S KOKUA TOGETHER - Fri. May 26. All nonprofit organizations looking to host an education or fundraiser event. The selection process is based on quality, professionalism and compliance with all of QKC’s guidelines and deadlines. 5pm. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-4325; Queenkaahumanucenter.com

MAY 25, 2017 23


THURS | 5/25 EVENTS

Direct From The Daily Show

Trevor Noah

TONIGHT 8 pm Castle ‘Midnight at the Oasis’ Singer

Maria Muldaur

TONIGHT 7:30 pm McCoy

$ +ąODX .DPDOXRNDOHLKXOX +ņ¶LNH

E Kaulele A‘e (To Take Flight)

Kumu Hula Kahulu Maluo SAT June 3 7:30 pm Pavilion The Merwin Conservancy 3UHVHQWV &XOWXUDO ([SHUW

Pualani Kanaka‘oleKanahele

6:30-8:30pm • No Cover!

FRI | 5/26

GOODS WITH DJ JAY P & DJ JORALIEN 9pm • $10 SAT | 5/27

BAD COMMUNICATORS ROCK OUT WITH CANADA’S GREATEST GROOVEPUNKPOPFUNKROCK BAND

9pm • $10

SUN | 5/28

BREAKFAST SERVED 7AM DON’T MISS OUR BLOODY MARY BAR!

MON | 5/29

CHARLEY’S LIVE BAND OPEN MIC & JAM

In the Green Room FRI June 9 7:00 pm McCoy

7PM-10PM • NO COVER TUES | 5/30

GALLERY

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER WED | 5/31

Now Through July 16

Piero Resta: Illuminatus Open Tue- Sun 10-5 FREE ADMISSION

24 MAY 25, 2017

MARK JOHNSTONE & FRIENDS

TOM CONWAY

RYAN ROBINSON

6:30PM-8:30PM • NO COVER 142 HANA HWY

PAIA

808.579.8085


TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

5/25

5/26

5/27

5/28

5/29-5/31

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-8010

JAVA JAZZ 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

KIMO’S 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

Karaoke, 9pm-close

Dat Guyz, 9pm-close

HI GROUND, 10pm-close

Karaoke Industry Night, 8pm-close

MON- Karaoke 8pm, TUE- Karaoke & $1 Tacos, WED- Open Mic 9pm

Rick Glencross

Guest Musician

Rick Glencross

John Bowser

MON- Mel & Soundlab, TUE- Nino Tascano & Paul Bunuan, WED- Guest Musician

Ma’a 6:30pm-8:30pm

Willie K, 9-11pm, $5

Ma’a 6:30-8:30pm

Benny & Rock 6-8pm

MON- Benny & Rock 6-8pm, TUE & WED- Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

Jim Spector, 5:30pm

TBA

Neto, 5:30pm

Island Soul, 5:30pm

TUE- Tantalizing Tues w/Gina Martinelli & Friends 5-8pm, WED-Jim Spector, 5:30pm

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

David Wolf 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON - David Wolf / TUE - The Benoits WED - Ranga Pae (all 5:30-8:30pm)

Pat Simmon’s Jr., 6:30pm-8:30pm

Naor Native Project, 7-9pm

Closed for a Private Event

Celtic Tigers, 7-9pm

MON-WED TBA

Throwback Thursday w/ DJ, 10pm

Hot Friday’s w/ Big Mike & Kamikaze, 10pm

Euphoria w/ DJ Big Mike, 10pm

Video Mix, 10pm

MON-Free Pool all day, TUE- SIN 10pm, WED- Wild Wednesday w/ DJ 10pm

Thirsty Thursdays & Free Pool

Karaoke w/ Brant Quick & prizes 7-11pm

Ladies Night w/ specials 9pm

Dart Tournament, NBA & NHL

MON- NBA & NHL, darts & pool, TUE- $2 Taco Tuesdays, WED- Specials & 9-ball Tournament

KOBE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St. (Lounge Area), Lahaina - 667-5555

KONO’S ON THE GREEN 470 Lipoa Pkwy, Kihei - 633-4220

MERRIMAN’S 1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

PARADISE GRILL

2291 Kaanapali Pkwy, Lahaina - 662-3700

PLAYMAKERS SPORTS BAR 928 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4084

GEMINI NEW MOON SACRED SOUND AND CACAO CEREMONY - Fri. May 26. The New Moon is a time of spiritual gardening and planting seeds of Intentions. Mystical Alchemy Ceremonies bring sound healing, music and ritual together in an inspiring and transformational way and incorporate sacred and uplifting music. Their sacred cacao is lovingly prepared with the finest organic ingredients and offered as cacao nuggets to be eaten. Door fee includes a CD. $15-20. 7pm. Lumeria Maui, (1813 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-579-8877; Lumeriamaui.com

SATURDAY, MAY 27 WEST AFRICAN DANCE WITH QUINCEY - Sat. May 27. Live drumming! Have fun following the beats of the drums, learn new steps and moves with this great teacher. $10. 11am. Pahu Creations, (870 Hali‘imaile Rd., Makawao); 808-385-2642; Pahumaui.com ECO FARM TOURS - Sat. May 27. Join in an educational tour of permaculture design features. $20-25. 4pm. Ahimsa Sanctuary Farm, (4505 Hana Hwy., Haiku); 808-283-8057; Ahimsasanctuaryfarm.com E-CYCLING - Sat. May 27. Items accepted at the E-Cycling program include computers, televisions, microwaves, cell phones, stereos, copiers, fax machines and other items with circuit boards. The service is provided free of charge; the public is asked to be courteous by not leaving any items at the gate after hours. 8am. E-Cycling Program, (901 L. Main St., Wailuku); 808-264-6460; Mauicounty.gov/recycle KEIKI HULA SHOW - Sat. May 27. Enjoy a true Hawaiian hula show from various hula halau, such as Te Tiare Patitifa, Na Kamali‘i Nani O Lahaina, Halau Hula O Keola Ali‘iokekai and Hui Lanakila. 1pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; Lahainacannerymall.com KARAOKE STAR SATURDAYS - Sat. May 27. Grab your friends or go solo for QKC’s Karaoke Night with Karaoke Jockey Dean Sakurai of Star Tracks Karaoke Maui. There will be thousands of songs to choose from and KJ Dean is available to help you select just the right tune. Free. 5pm. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-4325; Queenkaahumanucenter.com

SUNDAY, MAY 28 BEACH CLEANUP: KOKUA KA‘EHU - Sun. May 28. Let’s keep Ka‘ehu free of marine debris and research what washes ashore. This beautiful sandy/rocky coastline gets inundated with marine debris from all over the Pacific, and from other parts of Maui. These items are harmful, come lend a hand for a few hours of fun and exercise. 9am. Ka‘ehu Beach, (Kukona Pl., Waihe‘e); SHARKastics.org

TE TIARE PATITIFA - Sun. May 28. Enjoy a traditional Polynesian performance by Te Tiare Patitifa on the mall’s center stage. 11am. Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-871-1307; Mauimall.com FREE ZUMBA - Sun. May 28. Get your sweat ceFit. Free. on with Keoni’s Hot Lava DanceFit. anceFit 8:30am. Keoni’s Hot Lava DanceFit at Outlets of Maui, (900 Front St., otLahaina); 808-344-7122; Hotlavadancefit.com FREE ZUMBA - Sun. May 28. Get your sweat on with Keoni’s Hot Lava DanceFit… at another location! Free. 9am. Keoni’s Hot Lava DanceFit at Maui Mall, (70 E. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-344-7122; Hotlavadancefit.com

SING OUT MASTER CLASS WITH LOUISE LAMBERT - Tue. May 30. Louise Lambert guides you in confidence, mic technique, range expansion, flexibility, stage presence and music theory in a fun and safe space. $15. 6:45pm. Louise Lambert, (Kihei); 808 205 3 808-205-3971; louiselambert.com

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MONDAY, MAY 29 SALSA DANCE CLASS - Mon. iasts and Latin May 29. Maui dance enthusiasts music lovers can take Salsa Dance Classes with Demian and Lasensua, singles and couple welcome. Beginners class starts at 6pm with Intermediate class to follow at 6:45pm. $10 per class, $15 per couple. 6pm. Makawao Union Church, (1445 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-579-9261; Makawaounionchurch.org AUTHENTIC AND FUN ZUMBA CLASS - Mon. May 29. Join the super high-energy Latin Fitness Dance class with Instructor Carolina from Chile. Authentic formula 70 percent Latin Rhythms and 30 percent Pop. Also include yoga stretches at the end of the class. $5 for Gym members, $7 non-members. 6pm. Maui Powerhouse Gym, (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-214-6737; Mauipowerhousegym.com MANAWAHINE WALK4WATER - Mon. May 29. By walking together in solidarity from the mountains to the sea we demonstrate our support for the waters of Maui flowing free. Walk4Water is a 12-mile walk from mauka to makai in support of free flowing water on Maui. Participants will meet at Ho‘okipa, then shuttled by bus to Ho‘omana Spa in Makawao. 6:30am. Ho‘okipa Beach, (Mile 9, Hana Hwy., Paia); Manawahine.org

TUESDAY, MAY 30 UKULELE LESSONS - Tue. May 30. It’s never too late to learn how to play the Hawaiian guitar. Free. 5:45pm. Lahaina Cannery Mall, (1221 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-661-5304; Lahainacannerymall.com

E-CYCL E-CYCLING - Tue. May 30. Items accep accepted at the E-Cycling prog program include computers, tel televisions, microwaves, c cell phones, stereos, copie ers, fax machines and other items with circuit boards. The service is provided free of charge; the public is asked to be c courteous by not leaving aany items at the gate after hours. 1pm. E-Cycling Prog Program, (901 L. Main St., Wailu Wailuku); 808-264-6460; Mauicou Mauicounty.gov/recycle

WEDNESDAY, MAY 31 WEDNES OUTLETS OUTDOOR MARKET - Wed. May 31. The Market will feature chef demonstrations, live music, hula show and cultural activities. Maui farmers and artisans will feature locally-grown produce, handmade goods, creative crafts, apparel, island artwork and more. The Outlets retailers will also host a sidewalk sale with special sales and promotions. Get a free parking validation with any purchase from a market vendor. 4pm. Outlets of Maui, (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-8277; Outletsofmaui.com

LIVE MUSIC WEST MAUI AUNTIE’S KITCHEN AT WESTIN KA‘ANAPALI RESORT - Fri, Live Music 4-7pm; Mon, Live Music 4-7pm; (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3254; Westinkaanapali.com/dining CANE AND CANOE AT MONTAGE KAPALUA - Thu, Piilani Arias 5:30-8:30pm; Fri, Kapali Keahi 5:30-8:30pm; Sat, Daniel Querubin and Dayan Kai 5:30-9pm; Sun, Gary Larson Duo 9am-12pm; Sun, Joseph Chee 5:30-8:30pm; Mon, Kincaid Kipahu 5:30-8:30pm; Tue, Brian Haia 5:30-8:30pm; Wed, Kalani Smythe 5:30-8:30pm; (1 Bay Dr., Kapalua); 808-662-6681; Caneandcanoe.com CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL - Thu, Johnny Ringo 2-5pm; Fri, Will Hartzog 2-4:30pm; Mon, Will Hartzog 2-4:30pm; Tue, Johnny Ringo 2-5pm; Wed, Tori Dixon Band 2-5pm; (672 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0988; CaptainJacksMaui.com

CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE - Thu, Scot Freeman 4:30-7:30pm; Thu, Harry Troupe 8-11pm; Fri, Joe Benedet 4:30-7:30pm; Fri, Harry Troupe 8-11pm; Sat, Scott Freeman 4:30-7:30pm; Sat, Brooks Maguire 8-11pm; Sun, Joe Benedet 4:307:30pm; Sun, Scot Freeman 8-11pm; Mon, Mark Burnett 4:30-7:30pm; Mon, Evan Shulman 8-11pm; Tue, Scott Freeman 4:30-7:30pm; Tue, Brooks Maguire 8-11pm; Wed, Brooks Maguire 4:30-7:30pm; Wed, Harry Troupe 8-11pm; (811 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4855; Cheeseburgerland.com CLIFF DIVE GRILL AT SHERATON MAUI - ThuWed, Local Live Entertainment 6-8pm; (2605 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-0031; Cliffdivegrillmaui.com COOL CAT CAFE - Thu, Will Hartzog 7:3010pm; Fri, Johnny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sat, Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; Sun, Justin Phillips 7-9pm; Mon, Garrett Probst 7:30-10pm; Tue, Jazz at the Cat 7:30-10pm; Wed, Benny Uyetake 7:3010pm; (658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908; Coolcatcafe.com DOWN THE HATCH - Thu, Noa Zeb 10:30am12:30pm; Fri, Corey Rezner 10:30am-12:30pm; Sat, Kendall and The Armadillo 10:30am12:30pm; Sun, Alex Calma 10:30am-12:30pm; Mon, Ian Galleisky 10:30am-12:30pm; Wed, Corey Rezner 10:30am-12:30pm; (658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4900; Dthmaui.com DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Thu, Ben DeLeon 3-5pm; Thu, Garrett Probst and Keali’i Lum 6-8:30pm; Fri, Garrett Probst 3-5pm; Fri, Damon Parrillo and Tim Osbourne 6-8:30pm; Sat, Danyel Alana 3-5pm; Sat, Damon Parrillo and Ron Hetten 6-8:30pm; Sun, Keali’i Lum 3-5pm; Sun, Damien Awai 6-8:30pm; Mon, Keali’i Lum 3-5pm; Mon, Danyel Alana and Guest 6-8:30pm; Tue, Ben DeLeon 3-5pm; Tue, Roy Kato and Guest 6-8:30pm; Wed, Garrett Probst 3-5pm; Wed, Malanai 6-8:30pm; (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Ka‘anapali); 808-662-2900; Dukesmaui.com HULA GRILL - Thu, Kealii Lum and Friends 2-5pm; Thu, Damon Parillo and Friends 6-9pm; Fri, Derick Sebastian 11am-1pm; Fri, Ma’a 2-5pm; Sat, Kawika Lum Ho 2-5pm; Sat, Danyel Alana and Friends 6-9pm; Sun, Josh Lum 2-5pm; Sun, Lahui 6-9pm; Mon, Ua Aloha Maji 2-5pm; Mon, Keali’i Lum and Friends 6-9pm; Tue, Kawika Lum Ho 2-5pm; Tue, Wili Pohaku 6-9pm; Wed, Danyel Alana 2-5pm; Wed, Ernest Pua’a, Roy Kato and Kamuela Hamakua 6-9pm; (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-667-6636; Hulagrillkaanapali.com JAPENGO AT HYATT REGENCY MAUI Thu-Wed, Nightly Entertainment 6-8pm; (200 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-4727; Japengomaui.com

MAY 25, 2017 25


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SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 - 879-0004

SHEARWATER TAVERN 1279 S. Kihei Rd. - 793-2324

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-6444

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

THREE’S BAR & GRILL 1945 S. Kihei Rd. - 879-3133

TIFFANY’S 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

WHAT ALES YOU 1913 S Kihei Rd. - 214-6581

JAVA JAZZ - Thu, Rick Glencross 7-10pm; Fri, Guest Musician 7-10pm; Sat, Rick Glencross 7-10pm; Mon, Mel and Sound Lab 7-10pm; Tue, Nino Toscano and Paul Bunuan 7-10pm; Wed, Guest Musician 7-10pm; (3350 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Honokowai); 808-667-0787; Javajazzmaui.com KA‘ANAPALI SHORES BEACH CLUB RESTAURANT - Wed, Benny Uyetake 6-9pm; (3445 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Honokowai); 808-667-2211. KIMO’S - Thu, Ma’a 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Willie K 9-11pm; Sat, Ma’a 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, Benny and Rock 6-8pm; Mon, Benny and Rock 6-8pm; Tue, Sam Ahia 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, Sam Ahia 6:308:30pm; (845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811; Kimosmaui.com LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Thu, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Sat, Joseph Chee 7:30-9:30pm; Wed, Scotty Rotten 7:309:30pm; (730 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0700; Lahainapizzaco.com LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Thu, Josh Kahula and Dave of ‘Nuff Sedd’ 3-5pm; Fri, JD and Friends 3-5pm; Sun, ‘Kilohana’ Merv Oana and Duane Feig 3-5pm; Wed, Jarret Roback, Josh Kahula and Roy Kato 3-5pm; (2435 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-4495; Leilanis.com LONGHI’S - Thu, Summer Macedo and Shawn McLaughlin 5:30-7:30pm; Fri, Brian and Meryl 5:30-7:30pm; Sun, Two Cats 6-9pm; Mon, Chad Kaya 5:30-7:30pm; Tue, Wilmont Kahaialii and Shawn McLaughlin 5:30-7:30pm; (888 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-2288; Longhis.com MERRIMAN’S - Thu, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Fri, Brian Massa and Meryl Yecies 3-5pm; Fri, Peter deAquino 3-5pm; Fri, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Sat, Gabe and Austin 10am-1pm; Sat, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Sun, Peter deAquino 3-5pm; Sun, David Wolf 5:30-8:30pm; Mon, David Wolf 3-5pm; Mon, David Wolf 5:30-8:30pm; Tue, Brian Massa and Meryl Yecies 3-5pm; Tue, Phil and Angela Benoit 5:30-8:30pm; Wed, Peter deAquino 3-5pm; Wed, Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; (1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua); 808-669-6400; Merrimanshawaii.com PACIFIC’O ON THE BEACH - Fri, The Armadillo 4:30-6:30pm; Sat, David King 4:30-6:30pm; (505 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-4341; Pacificomaui.com PAILOLO BAR AND GRILL AT WESTIN KA‘ANAPALI RESORT - Thu, Live Music 6-9pm; Tue, Live Music 5-8pm; Wed, Live Music 5-8pm; (6 Kai Ala Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-667-3200; Westinkaanapali.com/dining/pailolo PAU HUAKAI TIKI BAR - Fri, Josh Sumibcay 5-8pm; Mon, Kawika Ortiz 6-8pm; (180 Nohea Kai Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-662-1000; Kaanapalibeach.hyatt.com

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Nestor Ugale, 5pm

Damien Awai 5pm & Joe Chee 10pm

Joe Chee 5pm & Marc Dumalata 10pm

Vitamin D, 10pm

MON & TUE- Mondo Kane 5pm, WED- Kanoa 5pm

Jamie Gallo, 4-6pm, DJ Big Mike, 10pm

Randall Rospond 4-6pm, DJ Gemini & Ynot, 10pm

Tom Conway 4-6pm, DJ Kamikazee 10pm

Viva La Rumba 4pm, Sunday Lounge w/ DJ Joralien, 10pm

MON- Kanoa 4pm, DJ Big Mike 10pm, TUE- Jon Bowser 4-6pm, DJ Salvo 10pm, WED- Natalie Nicole 4pm, DJ Lobstah 10pm

TBA

TBA

TBA

TBA

MON-WED TBA

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

Natalie Nicole Band, $5 cover, 8-12pm

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

Salsa Night w/ Barbara & Ernesto, 8pm-no cover

Capt Dan, 6:30-8:30pm

Karaoke, 8:30pm-close

Karaoke, 8pm-close

Karaoke, 8pm-close

Karaoke, 8pm-close

MON-WED-Karaoke, 8pm-close

Jason Arbilla, 7-9pm

Marc Dumalata, 7-9pm

Erica Ambrin, 7-9pm

Natalie Nicole, 7-9pm

MON- no music, TUE- Steve Norton 7-9pm, WED- Jon Bowser 7-9pm

PI ARTISAN PIZZERIA - Fri, Danyel Alana 6-9pm; Mon, Scot Freeman 6-9pm; (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0791; Pi808.com PINEAPPLE GRILL - Fri, Johnny Ringo 3-6pm; Sat, Howard Ahia 3-6pm; Sun, Codae 6-8pm; (200 Kapalua Dr.); 808-669-9600; Pineapplegrillmaui.com PIONEER INN - Thu, Greg di Piazza 5-8pm; Tue, Ah-Tim Eleniki 5-8pm; (658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-3636; Pioneerinnmaui.com RELISH OCEANSIDE BAR AT WESTIN MAUI RESORT - Thu-Wed, Braddah Keoki Ruiz 6:309pm; (2365 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-667-2525; Westinmaui.com/dining/relish-oceanside SANGRITA GRILL AND CANTINA - Thu, Live Flamenco Music by Indio and Avi 6:30-8:30pm; (2580 Kekaa Dr., Ka‘anapali); 808-662-6000; Sangritagrill.com SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT AT NAPILI KAI RESORT - Thu, Phillip Stevens 7-9pm; Fri, Phillip Stevens 7-9pm; Sat, Fausto Allosada 7-9pm; Sun, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Mon, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Tue, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Wed, Fausto Allosada 7-9pm; (5900 L. Honoapi‘ilani Rd., Napili); 808-669-1500; Seahousemaui.com THE DIRTY MONKEY - Thu-Wed, Guest Musician 3-6pm; (844 Front St., Lahaina); 808-419-6268; Thedirtymonkey.com

SOUTH MAUI BOTERO LOUNGE AT GRAND WAILEA - ThuSat, Contemporary Hawaiian Music 5-10pm; (3850 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-1234; Grandwailea.com/experience/dine/botero-lounge CHEESEBURGER GRILLE AND TAP ROOM - Thu, Mark Burnett 6-8:30pm; Fri, Ben DeLeon 5:30-8:30pm; Sun, Ben DeLeon 5:30-8:30pm; (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-874-8990; Cheeseburgernation.com DIAMOND’S ICE BAR AND GRILL - Sun, Gina Martinelli Band 6-8pm; (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-9299; Diamondsicebar.com GANNON’S - Thu, Ricardo Dioso 5:30-7:30pm; Fri, Fulton Tashombe 5:30-7:30pm; (100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-875-8080; Gannonsrestaurant.com KONO’S ON THE GREEN - Thu, Jim Spector 5:308:30pm; Fri, Sal Godinez Band 5-8pm; Sat, Neto Peraza 5:30-7:30pm; Sun, Island Soul Dance Party 5-8pm; Wed, Jim Spector 5:30-7:30pm; (470 Lipoa Pkwy., Kihei); 808-633-4220; Konosonmaui.com LUANA LOUNGE AT FAIRMONT KEA LANI Fri-Sat, Live Entertainment 7-10pm; (4100 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-4100; Fairmont.com/kealani-maui/dining/luana

MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Thu, Dat Guyz 1-3pm; Thu, Levi and Chad 4-6pm; Thu, Louis and Lewis 7-9pm; Fri, Stay EZ 1-3pm; Fri, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Fri, Alika 7-9pm; Sat, Ron Kualaua 1-3pm; Sat, An Den 4-6pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 7-9pm; Sun, T-Flatz and The Highlights 1-3pm; Sun, Dat Guyz 4-6pm; Sun, Ohana Groove 7-9pm; Mon, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Mon, Josh Kahula 7-9pm; Tue, Stay EZ 4-6pm; Tue, Ohana Groove 7-9pm; Wed, Damien and Brian 1-3pm; Wed, Alika 4-6pm; Wed, Jarret 7-9pm; (10 Wailea Gateway Center); 808-891-2322; Monkeypodkitchen.com/wailea MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Thu, Pat Simmons Jr. 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, Celtic Tigers 7-9:30pm; (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131; Mulligansontheblue.com OHANA SEAFOOD BAR AND GRILL - ThuWed, Contemporary Island Music 4-8pm; (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-868-3247; Ohanaseafoodgrill.com PITA PARADISE - Sat, David Wolf 5:308pm; Sun, Phil and Angela Benoit 6:30-9pm; (34 Wailea Gateway Center); 808-879-7177; Pitaparadisehawaii.com SHEARWATER TAVERN - Thu, Nestor Ugale 5-7pm; Thu, Kanoa 5-7pm; Fri, Damien Awai 5-7pm; Fri, Joe Chee Jr. 10-10pm; Sat, Joe Chee Jr. 5-7pm; Sat, Marc Dumalata 10pm-12am; Sun, Vitamin D 5-7pm; Mon, Mondo Kane 5-7pm; Tue, Mondo Kane 5-7pm; (1279 S Kihei Rd.); 808-793-2324; Shearwatermaui.com

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE - Thu-Wed, Local Live Music 5-8pm; (355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului); 808-877-9001; Kahuluialehouse.com PLAYMAKERS SPORTS BAR - Fri, Brant Quick 7-11pm; (928 L. Main St., Wailuku); 808-244-4804; Facebook.com/Playmakers-Sports-Bar SEASCAPE MA‘ALAEA RESTAURANT - Fri, Kaulike Pescaia 5-7:30pm; (192 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-5149-3071; Mauioceancenter.com/dine

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CAFE MAMBO MAUI - Tue, Brant Quick 4-8pm; (30 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-8021; Cafemambomaui.com CAFE DES AMIS - Mon, Mark Johnstone 6:308:30pm; (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-6323; Cdamaui.com CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT AND SALOON Thu, Mark Johnstone 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Charley’s Live Band 7-10pm; Tue, Tom Conway 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, Ryan Robinson 6:30-8:30pm; (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085; Charleysmaui.com NOURISH HEALTH BAR AND CAFE PAIA Sat, Live Acoustic 6-8pm; (161 Hana Hwy., Paia); Facebook.com/pg/NourishHealthBarMaui

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Thu, Jaime Gallo 4-6pm; Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Sun, Viva La Rumba 4-6pm; Mon, Kanoa 4-6pm; Tue, Jon Bowser 4-6pm; Wed, Natalie Nicole 4-6pm; (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6444; Southshoretikilounge.com THE RESTAURANT AT HOTEL WAILEA - Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-9pm; Sat, Mark Johnstone 7-9pm; (555 Kaukahi Rd., Wailea); 808-879-2224; Hotelwailea.com/rhw THE SHOPS AT WAILEA - Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-891-6770; Theshopsatwailea.com WHAT ALES YOU - Thu, Jason Arcilla 7-9pm; Sat, Erica Ambrin 7-9pm; Wed, Jon Bowser 7-9pm; (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-214-6581; WhatAlesYouMaui.com

CENTRAL MAUI BEACH BUMS MA‘ALAEA - Fri, Mike Finkiewicz and Tom Cherry 5-8pm; Fri, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm; Wed, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; (300 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-243-2286; Beachbumshawaii.com KAHILI RESTAURANT - Wed, Ron Kuala’au 4-5:30pm; (2500 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Waikapu); 808-242-6000; Mauiliveevents.com

MAY 25, 2017 27


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by Caeriel Crestin

Horoscope

Sign Language GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

Relating to matters of the heart, you have some relationships that are strictly one-way. That is, your dear friend tells you everything that’s going on for them, but when it comes time to share your own feelings, your mouth might as well be sewn shut. I know you don’t want to bitch or whine about your inner turmoil. You might not even need to share that stuff, since you’re perfectly capable of coping on your own. But sharing isn’t always for you. Sometimes, it’s for your friends. Letting them know what’s in your heart isn’t selfish; it’s actually a kind of gift. Won’t you give it to them? CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

Geminis often have difficulty expressing their emotions; some Cancers, on the other hand, can tend towards the opposite extreme: over-articulation of every little thing they’re going through. Your ability to speak eloquently about your inner world is one of your talents, but it can be taken too far, and ultimately drive people away from you. Letting people be privy to your private inner world is generally a gift. But there’s also such a thing as oversharing. Is it a feeling of intimacy you’re creating, or simply too much information? LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

You can rock this week, if you channel your Sagittarian cousins’ vibe. Let’s review what that means: Archers are truth-tellers and truth-seekers. Check. Wearing your heart on your sleeve and cutting through bullshit are no problem for you. They’re born adventurers, and like things wild and chaotic. Check. You do like to be in charge a lot of the time, but you’re able to occasionally let go and go along for the ride. Sagittarians are never snobs; they’ll gladly and amiably talk to anyone. Yeah. That one might be trickier for you. Nevertheless, it’d be good practice. This week, deliberately develop amnesia about any judgments you’ve made. I’m betting you (and everyone else) will be much happier. VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

You’re actually not an especially brilliant multi-tasker. It’s more that you’ve mastered the art of making everything you do serve multiple purposes. Sometimes, though, that doesn’t always work. It may be frustrating to have to do something that’s uneconomical and only serves one end, but this week, do it anyway, because it’s not for you. It’s for someone you love. Making other people happy is rarely a streamlined, efficient, or logical process. Nevertheless, I hope you realize that, even though you could be accomplishing ten times as much in the same time, this is more important. So quit your bitching and do what you have to do–and do it well.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

There’s nothing wrong with allowing yourself to be led from the path you’d chosen for yourself. Sometimes, though, you don’t even realize you’ve been led badly astray until you meet someone who reminds you of who you really are (or were). Some people challenge you to become something or someone new. That’s great. But some people don’t expect you to be anything more (or less) than you already are, quite naturally. You’ve done enough rising to the occasion lately. This week, find someone who’ll let you take a seat, relax, and enjoy just being yourself.

QUIZ understood

ANSWERS

...to questions from page 4

1: A–2nd 2: D–$472,902 3: C–Rep. Justin Woodson

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

Some people are always late because they just don’t give a shit. Being punctual isn’t the least bit important to them, and they only pretend to feel guilty when they’ve kept you waiting, again. Others, however, are frequently tardy because they simply don’t have a very firm grasp on time; a passing hour can seem like ten minutes inside their heads. You’re habitually punctual, and get annoyed when others aren’t, regardless of their reasons. Since you’ll have to deal with both types of latecomers quite a lot this week, circumvent your annoyance by short-circuiting their lateness. Ask them to meet you a half-hour before you actually want to, and everyone will show up at the same time, happy. AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

Anyone who’s had a kid, a beloved pet or a lover knows that feeling of fierce protectiveness that seems to sprout from some deep, instinctual place. That animal self is a source of power, insight, and strength. While you’re right that you shouldn’t let it rule you, sometimes Aquarians put a bit too much distance between their overbearing, overanalyzing minds, and it. This week, tap into that primal inner spring. What you need the most to get to the next chapter–be it passion, drive, or guiding instincts–can be found there.

VOTED BEST

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

People are often willing to cut you slack. But sometimes you’ve just got to bring it, without excuses, regardless of what else is going on for you. They don’t care if you have a fever, a broken arm, or a broken heart. You either deliver, or you don’t. Many Pisceans are quick to give up when they face this kind of ultimatum. It’s not that they lack the ability to succeed and even thrive despite adversity. They could (and many Fish do). It’s simply because they don’t have the kind of drive and rebellion that would keep, say, an Aries on his feet with two sprained ankles. This week, work on your drive. Are you hungry enough? Show us.

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LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)

Dressing up like a little girl in pigtails and ribbons won’t make you appear innocent; in fact, in most cases it would have exactly the opposite effect. Similarly, you can’t simply put on the appearance of whatever you want to be and hope you’ll come off that way. People will see right through it. If you want to transform, you’ve got to wreak that metamorphosis from the inside out. This will take much longer and require tons more effort than you may have originally wanted to put into this life change. On the plus side, by the time you manifest whatever it was that you wanted to bring into your life,, the transformation will be written all over you.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

Rams are creatures of extremes. Even though they often come off as the boldest and most confident people around, they’re frequently also the most insecure. Aries I know to be brilliant, extroverted and wildly successful have confessed that they secretly thought that virtually everyone they knew was cooler than they were. How many pedestals have you built to put your friends and heroes up on? I don’t know that you need to go running around knocking down imaginary pedestals just to bring your friends down to “your level.” Personally, I’d rather you built a new one and climbed up.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

Some plants are resilient. You can cut off a stem, plop it in water, and the plant will magically grow become viable on its own. Others will simply wilt and die. You could take either metaphorical route this week: opportunistically expanding, even though you’re cut up and put in unfamiliar territory, or giving up and wilting because you don’t have access to your usual sources of nourishment and comfort. Obviously, we’d both prefer you take the former path, but you might not quite know how. Here’s a hint: without roots or leaves, you’ll have to figure out some other way of getting the things you need to survive and thrive. If a plant can do that, you can, too.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

What’s perfect isn’t perfect. In fact, this week you ought to live for the imperfections, the cracks in the façade, the unexpected. You need distraction and adversity to really come into your own. Given total serenity and the “perfect” working environment, for example, I doubt you’d get anything done. You’re stiff and you need to stretch out and use your emotional. That means putting yourself in situations where they’ll get a workout. Choose circumstances which require tremendous flexibility. Forget what’s ideal. Go for what’s exciting. To contact Caeriel send mail to sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

MAY 25, 2017 29


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