08.26 Artist Ray Masters, December 23, 2004, Volume 8, Issue 26, MauiTime

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4 •Film: 2 The Worst and Best of 2004

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DECEMBER 23, 2004

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NEWCOLUMN

BY MANDI SIMMONS

Uh Oh I think I caused the Po’ouli bird to go extinct

The last Po’ouli?

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You’ve got to believe me when I say that I feel real, real bad about this. Oh my God, I feel bad. So bad I haven’t been able to eat for the last few days. Oh my God, do I feel bad. You’ve gotta believe me when I say I had no idea that those two birds my boyfriend and I ate last month were the last two Po’ouli birds that ever existed.

Oh boy, do I feel bad about that. But I should back up a bit. Everything was fine and dandy until last Tuesday, Dec. 14, when I read in The Maui News that people from the Maui Forest Bird Recovery Project were all sad that their little Po’ouli bird had just died, probably of old age. And they were especially sad because it was, like, only the third Po’ouli bird thought to exist.

And they were really, especially, really nervous because the other two Po’ouli

birds still thought to be alive were in the East Maui forest reserve, but hadn’t been seen by anyone for almost a year.

Well, I can’t really be sure and all, but the photo of the Po’ouli bird in the paper and in a Hawaii Department of Land and Natural Resources report from October, 2003 has convinced me that Elliot and I ate the birds during our hiking trip last month. We didn’t mean to, honest. It’s just that we were, well, really cold and tired and hungry.

We’d been hiking along the ridges and gulches in the remote Hanawi Natural Area Reserve and we kinda, sorta got lost. Then we ran out of PowerBars. We had lots of water because it rained pretty much the whole time, but we wanted some real food.

Then one morning we saw them. They were sitting up in a nest. They were two small birds with black faces, like they were wearing little Lone Ranger masks. Elliot thought they were chickadees, so we captured them—boy, was that tough—and then, well, we broke into this cabin we found nearby and ate them.

God, how bad I feel. I still can’t believe what we did. And they were songbirds, too! Why, oh why did they have to be so delicious?

I mean, if it makes you feel any better, it’s not like Elliot and I gorged ourselves on the little guys. We thought about preparing them like Cornish Game Hens, but because they were so small, we just decided to deep-fry them whole.

I ate mine the way you’d eat fried chicken, but Elliot—between you and me, I think he had a few too many glasses of chardonnay—put his between a bun with some lettuce, tomato and Dijon mustard and ate it like a sandwich.

Did I say that cabin we broke into was stocked like a Safeway with plenty of fresh vegetables, bread and condiments? Oh, well, it was.

Anyway, it was an honest mistake. Really. It won’t happen again. MTW

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DECEMBER 23, 2004

NEWS

You were driving a white Toyota Tercel on Hana Highway one recent morning.

Everything was normal until you pulled alongside me at the intersection and started brushing your teeth furiously. Then the light turned green and you sped off, pulling in front of me, still brushing your teeth like your life depended on it. Okay, fine. But then you opened your car door and started veering into the other lane. What the hell were you doing? You almost forced those other cars off the road! Then you spit your toothpaste so it hit the front of my car! Okay, I thought, you were done. But you weren’t! You did the whole thing again at the next light. Wow, what a catch you are. Some lucky girl really has something to look forward to when you get home. So glad it isn’t me.

MAUICOUNTY

BY DAN ABENDSCHEIN

Kula Revealed Confessions of a serial fence hopper

Thank you for your support

Just asking to be hopped I’m a Kula fence hopper. I’m not satisfied with the Kula that exists on the lower side of fences. There are too many roads, houses and cars, and not enough open pasture. To visit the Kula that’s still open I have to jump fences and sneak around people’s property.

Of course, I’m not alone in this practice. Many people are crossing into the thick waddle forests, acres of vicious blackberry bushes and wild cattle that make up upper Kula.

Hopping fences can be tricky. It is, after all, illegal, though I’m always comforted by a reasonable certainty that most Kula landowners probably don’t mind the occasional hiker wandering across their property. Still, there’s something unsettling about climbing over a barbed wire fence.

But that’s only because once you enter somebody’s property without consent, you’re opening yourself up to blame for anything that might go wrong. It’s all too easy to blame trampled plants or trash left on the ground on the guy with one foot perched on top of the fence.

That’s why it’s best to do your fence hopping during normal work hours, when nobody is in sight. The easiest way to get through the lower part of the property, near the owner’s house, is to conceal yourself in a gulch. Then it’s easy to have an unhurried hike up through the landown-

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er’s pastures—far more preferable to running up the hill.

I’ve found from these hikes that the steep green pastures that lie behind the boundaries we’re not permitted to cross attract many others. If you hike high enough up the slopes of Haleakala, you are likely to hear the sound of four-wheel drive off-roading, and maybe even gunshots from hunters out for pheasant and wild boar.

I heard the former when hiking the property of some of my neighbors who had graciously allowed me to enter their property through the gate for my hiking, thereby eliminating the need for me to jump their fence. I was in the midst of a eucalyptus forest, almost up to Polipoli State Park, which abuts the upper line of my neighbor’s property.

My neighbor, who runs a horse ranch, told me it was pretty typical for people to ride their ATVs all over her land. She and her husband never saw them, but could see their tracks crisscross the pasture.

Though they’d like to keep the ATV enthusiasts from intruding on their property, my neighbors do allow access to hunters. In fact, they say most weekends there’s someone hunting on their land. Since the property rises all the way up to Polipoli, it’s got an abundance of pheasant and boar. I didn’t hear any shots up there the day I hiked, but that might be because I didn’t actually get into Polipoli State Park.

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The park resides at about 6,500 feet, 3,000 feet above the bottom line of my neighbor’s property. Three thousand feet is a good stout day hike, far more than I was willing to do. But anyone climbing to 6,500 feet on any Kula property requires crossing a major obstacle— the waddle forest.

On many properties I have hiked, my trip ends at the edge of the waddle forest. The trees grow low, forcing you to crawl under many low branches. That sets a discouraging pace that makes it difficult to imagine ever getting out of the forest. But on my neighbor’s property, cattle—some of it wild—have kept the forest spaced out.

For hours I chased many paths to their ends, seeking a way to higher ground, but always got stymied, usually by giant patches of blackberry bushes. In the end, driving rains and poor visibility made me abandon my search for a path into the park. Had I fencehopped to start this hike, I would have welcomed the rain and mist—it would have covered my descent back to the property line.

Fence hopping can be an exciting way of exploring an area, but it’s always nice to be able to wave to your neighbor without fear of repercussion. That’s why I’ve been thinking that it might be time for more landowners to open up their properties to the public.

In New Zealand, a public-trail system crosses private land many times in many places, but public money keeps the trails maintained and clean. There are even dainty little wooden steps to make it easier to get over the fences.

Perhaps some day we might be able to afford such a reasonable system here on Maui.

Until then I can always hop fences.

MTW

Last spring, I asked then-Liquor Control Chief Enforcement Officer Bill Pacheco why his minor decoys kept ordering Heineken beers when they were performing sting operations. He said it was up to the kid, but they generally just grab something off the shelf or mimic the other customers.

If true, people on Maui are buying some pretty strange booze these days. Take the June 24, 2004 sting op that went down at the Village General Store in Kihei. That minor decoy went in and was able to buy a four-pack of Bartles & Jaymes Fuzzy Navel Malt Cooler.

“Another of our popular cocktail flavored coolers, this delightful flavor has a delicate mix of peach and orange and is the perfect complement to any occasion or picnic,” states official Bartles & Jaymes publicity materials. “Our Fuzzy Navel is truly a delicious and refreshing beverage choice.”

Come on! Who orders Bartles & Jaymes these days? Sure, those commercials with the two old guys who always said, “Thank you for your support” were kinda cool. But that was 20 years ago!

Anyway, on July 1, another minor decoy went into Lamont’s in Honokowai and succeeded in buying a few bottles of Bartles & Jaymes Exotic Berry Wine Cooler.

“This popular flavor is bursting with ripe and full berry flavors and is a taste escape that is sure to captivate your senses,” says B & J. “Packed with flavor, our berry blend is an easy to enjoy flavor and is perfect for enjoying at your next gathering or with your favorite foods.”

Then the next day, the same minor decoy drove up to Makawao with his LC handlers and bought a four-pack Bartles & Jaymes’ brand new Orange Sunset Malt Cooler.

B & J says that one is “an engaging orange color and is a wonderful blend of tropical flavors that is a taste vacation.

“Orange, papaya and pineapple flavors give this blend a refreshing and delicate taste that is easy to enjoy,” states the company website. “These tropical flavors are great for any occasion or picnic and are an excellent complement to any party or enjoying your next sunset.”

Seriously, what legal-age adult is going to get that when manufacturers are still canning Old Milwaukee’s Best and putting chardonnay in boxes? MTW

—Anthony Pignataro

DA KINE CALENDAR

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 23, 2004

5

MAUICOUNTY

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 15

THURSDAY, DEC. 16

Something like 15 people call the office today, which is still a Wednesday which means we’re all trapped inside trying to get the paper published, to tell us that the waves at Jaws are, like, the most massive in the last decade and there are 50 jet skis in the water and big waves everywhere. Thanks for the tips!… Somehow I get a link to a Dec. 13 New York Times story on how the wonderful people who bring you digital television recording service TiVo have “stepped up efforts” to let news know when they’re misusing the trademarked word “TiVo”—using it as a verb instead of a proper noun. Oh, really? This is a huge problem, is it? Well, since TiVo has its trademark protection drones patrolling the internet for violations, let’s run a few sample sentences to see if I’ve got it right. I, being a member of the media, would never want to misuse some big corporation’s trademarked name. So let’s start with a simple one: “I think TiVo and Alviso, Californiabased TiVo Inc. really sucks.” Is that okay? Did I use the trademark correctly? All right, how about this one: “Wow, that TiVo policy of telling reporters how to use the word ‘TiVo’ is corporate fascist bullshit.” Hey TiVo cops, am I still in line with your directives? Okay now, how about this one: “Everybody I know who has TiVo is a complete jerkoff.” Oh wait, that last one doesn’t work. I know a guy who has TiVo and he’s not a complete jerk-off.

Pages A6 and A7 of today’s Maui News have a bunch of Associated Press stories.

One story outlines how President George W. Bush once again “pledges strong-dollar policy,” which is what he and Treasury Secretary John Snow have been saying for the last three years as the dollar has steadily plummeted on the global currency exchange.

Another details how a new missile defense interceptor “fails to launch in test.” Then there’s the story of how Newark airport screeners found, then lost, a fake bomb during a security test. Then there’s a piece on how Social Security is facing a “$3.7 trillion shortfall over 75 years.” Now who says Dubya didn’t deserve another four years as president?

Our own intern Kellie R. Holliday, who also moonlights as a Lahainaluna High senior in her spare time, got two—two!—mentions in today’s Maui News Community section. The first is a color, front-page photo of her photographing some coach who’s getting his head shaved. The second, on the next page, is a “Student Spotlight” sidebar that highlights her many accomplishments, which include being a Maui Time intern, Associated Student Body president, Maui Time intern, Maui District Student Council representative, Maui Time intern, American Cancer Society volunteer, Lahaina Public Library volunteer and Maui Time intern. One of her hobbies?

“Writing for Maui Time Weekly.” Man, doesn’t this kid know she’s a senior now? She’s supposed to be slacking off! Kids these days.

“WHATEVER—MARY KATE AND ASHLEY OLSEN GOT INTO COLUMBIA.” -High school student talking on her cellphone at 505 Front St. in Lahaina, Dec. 16

DECEMBER 23, 2004

NEWS

THE WEEK IN REVIEW

FRIDAY, DEC. 17

OVERHEARD...

6

COCONUT WIRELESS

style property tax changes. So says today’s edition of The Maui News. Oh, and the paper wants Councilwoman Charmaine Tavares be the next council chairperson. “If there is any jockeying for positions, it’s going on behind the scenes,” opines the paper’s staff editorial.

Really? Behind the scenes, you say? Then just who were those people I saw fighting and yelling “I’m the next council chair!” and “No, I’m the next council chair!” on the corner of Main and High streets yesterday? One was a dead ringer for Kane, though his hair was far less magnificent than the current council chairman’s. Anyway, after saying a good chairman would be “pragmatic” and “not an ideologue”— hey, what if he’s a “nutcase?”—the News editorialized that Tavares was the best candidate to take over. In fact, one of the reasons the News said the Upcountry representative and daughter of the late Mayor Hannibal Tavares would make a good chairwoman was that she “has said she has no aspiration to be mayor.” Ouch!

MONDAY, DEC. 20

Hey Steve, if it’s not too much trouble I’d like you to TiVo The Daily Show Monday night—oh hell, I just used the proper noun TiVo as a verb! That’s just great. Now the TiVo cops are going to come after me.

There are nearly 2,000 people statewide registered to use marijuana for medicinal purposes, reports today’s Honolulu Advertiser. The program is just four years old, and this has some medical professionals concerned. I know, I’m shocked, too—the idea that large numbers of people would take advantage of completely legal pot is, frankly, just not something anyone would have predicted. Anyway, dude, Dr. Inam Rahman, who heads the Hawaii Medical Association said that in any case, the docs are reluctant to prescribe weed because, and this surprised me, too, “there’s always potential for abuse.”

SUNDAY, DEC. 19

TUESDAY, DEC. 21

People in Hana are paying $3.16 for a gallon of high octane, four county councilmembers are angling for Council Chairman—and next Maui Mayor, if he has anything to say about it—Dain Kane’s job and Councilman Bob Carroll wants to institute California Proposition 13-

By the way, speaking as someone who grew up in a Prop. 13 California, the rest of the county can kiss its revenue stream goodbye if Carroll gets his way with that property tax “reform” scheme of his. But hey, it’s cool—if he wants to demolish county services. MTW

SATURDAY, DEC. 18

NEWSOFTHEWEIRD “Freegans” are non-homeless Dumpster divers with a political or at least philosophical commitment not to waste perfectly usable discarded goods, including food, according to reports in Newsday (September) and the Houston Press (November). Most are driven by a belief that too many Americans have a fetishized view of newness, pointing out that restaurants discard much unspoiled food simply because they need to sell even fresher food.

(Freegans don’t eat table scraps.) Still, many restaurants elaborately protect their garbage from “Dumpstering” foragers, with locks and razor wire or by coating it with bleach.

SMART PEOPLE

FINE POINTS OF THE LAW Australia’s High Court ruled in October that convicted drug dealer Francesco Dominico La Rosa could indeed write off a casualty loss of A$224,793 (about

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Controversial former chess champion Bobby Fischer, who fled to Japan to avoid U.S. visa-violation charges, and who is smarting from a recent Time magazine description of him as something less than a babe magnet, defended his virility to a Mainichi Daily News reporter in October by pointing out that he wears “size 14 wide shoes. Just keep that in mind when [they] say I’m not a dreamboat.”

After recounting an episode at a hot spring nude bath in Japan in which two fellow customers seemed in awe of his “size,” Fischer then accused Americans of having persuaded Japanese authorities to lock him up in a facility close to a nuclear plant so that the U.S. government can “make me impotent.”

COMPELLING EXPLANATION According to a transcript obtained by the in September, convicted rapist John Horace, 60, was turned down by the New York Parole Board after offering a new excuse for his crime—committed against a nursing home resident in a near coma. Horace, then an aide at the home, said he had read in a medical book somewhere that the sensation of pregnancy would snap a woman out of a coma and that he was thus only trying to help.

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Using parts she bought from the estate of a laser-tech engineer, Julie “Jitterbug” Pearce, 23, built a UFO-attracting device for the roof of her home in Duluth, Minn., and told the Duluth News Tribune in August that her machine’s triangularly patterned strobe light design, looped radio transmissions, and laser light refracted through a quartz crystal may help signal aliens in the area. And In Johannesburg, South Africa, student John Smit, 18, caused a minor curriculum crisis when he willingly took a 30-point deduction on an important English exam because he could not bear to deal with a reading-comprehension question based on a passage from a Harry Potter book, which Smit regards as “witchcraft.”

US$168,000) against his taxable income, even though the “loss” occurred when someone allegedly stole that amount that La Rosa had buried in his backyard and wanted to use for a heroin deal. The Australian Tax Office went nuts at the ruling, and efforts are under way to change the law. And also in October, the federal appeals court in San Francisco dismissed a lawsuit against the Navy, filed in the name of marine mammals, claiming that naval sonar disrupted their underwater communication; the court said federal environmental laws can be challenged only by people or legal entities, not whales.

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Tides & times Tide-times set for Honolulu - adjust as follows: Kahului: 1hr 41min Hana: 1hr 23 min Makena: 0hr 32min Kihei/Ma`alaea: 0hr 22 min Lahaina: 0hr 40 min

23 Sun R 7:06A Thur Sun S 5:56P

H 2:35A +2.2 L 9:56A +0.4

H 1:46P +0.7 L 7:25P -0.1

24

Sun R 7:06A Fri Sun S 5:57P

H 3:07A +2.3 H 2:30P +0.6 L 10:35A +0.3 L 7:57P -0.1

25

Sun R 7:07A Sat Sun S 5:57P

H 3:39A +2.4 H 3:10P +0.6 L 11:10A +0.3 L 8:30P -0.1

26 Sun R 7:07A Sun Sun S 5:58P

H 4:12A +2.4 H 3:49P +0.6 L 11:43A +0.2 L 9:05P -0.1

27 Sun R 7:07A Mon Sun S 5:58P

H 4:46A +2.3 H 4:28P +0.6 L 12:18P +0.2 L 9:40P -0.1

28 Sun R 7:08A Tue Sun S 5:59P

H 5:12A +2.3 H 5:10P +0.6 L 12:55P +0.2 L 10:15P -0.0

29 Sun R 7:08A Wed Sun S 6:00P

H 5:57A +2.2 H 5:59P +0.6 L 1:33P +0.2 L 10:51P -0.1

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579-8030 MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 23, 2004

7

OPED

BY TED RALL

Selling Out the Uyghurs HEMP IS USED IN THE DASHBOARDS OF MERCEDES BENZ AUTOMOBILES

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Why eight million people you’ve never heard of hate us A four-day ride on the westbound express train out of Beijing takes you to China’s Wild West. The massive Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region, hundreds of miles beyond an eroded mound that was once the Great Wall, lies southwest of Mongolia, east of Afghanistan and north of the Tibetan plateau.

Full of dusty deserts, soaring mountains and eight million Muslims, Xinjiang is—like so many geopolitically sensitive places—in the middle of nowhere. Today Chineseoccupied Central Asia is a case study in how American foreign policy turns proAmerican Muslims into deadly enemies.

“From the premodern era until the mid-18th century, Xinjiang was either ruled from afar by Central Asian empires or not ruled at all,” Joshua Kurlantzick wrote in Foreign Affairs. Mao’s Communist Party worked to consolidate power during the 1950s by centralizing

Food Cops The following tale is taken straight from official complaints and inspection reports on file with the State of Hawaii Department of Health Food Safety office.

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8

DECEMBER 23, 2004

NEWS

Establishment Quizno’s Subs

Location 1810 S. Kihei Rd., Unit A

Date Dec. 22, 2003

Time 12:30 p.m.

The complainant reported to the Sanitation Department that even though the employees were wearing gloves while preparing food, they failed to change them after they rang up orders at the register and handled money. The complainant also said they were rude and that the “establishment was [with] no ventilation which must not be good for [the] food.” On Jan. 5, 2004, the Sanitation Department contacted the manager and advised him “to speak to employees about hand washing and hygiene.” The manager said that he was “not aware of any employees using gloves and handling the register. Usually he has one on the register, one making [a] sandwich and another baking.” But he promised to remind employees in the future.

-Lauren Dahl

Chinese culture and politics in Beijing. That meant suppressing the Tibetans and Mongols and any other cultures and religions out of step with the ruling majority Han Chinese.

The jackboot came down hardest on Xinjiang, where in 1955 more than 90 percent of the population were Turkic Muslims—mostly Uyghurs along with smaller portions of such Central Asian tribes as Kazakhs, Kyrgyz, Uzbeks, Tajiks and Tatars.

By the time of my 1999 trip to the Silk Road city of Kashgar in southern Xinjiang, a “low level insurgency” had heated up. The Chinese had torn down all but a few blocks of the ancient old town to put up prefab apartment buildings.

But the Uyghurs weren’t taking it lying down. The largest Uyghur independence group, the East Turkestan Islamic Movement (ETIM), seeks the recreation of the free Republic of East Turkestan declared by earlier

IN XINJIANG: CHINA’S MUSLIM BORDERLAND, GRAHAM FULLER AND JONATHAN LIPPMAN WROTE THAT THIS “U.S. DECLARATION [WAS] CATASTROPHIC” FOR THE UYGHURS. THE UNITED STATES HAD GIVEN BEIJING “CARTE BLANCHE TO DESIGNATE ALL UYGHUR NATIONALIST... MOVEMENTS AS ‘TERRORIST.’” The Uyghurs and their pre-Muslim Buddhist culture were a threat to national cohesion. After all, they had revolted against pre-communist China 42 times in the last 200 years.

“Many Muslim leaders were simply shot,” wrote Kurlantzick. “The Uyghur language was purged from school curricula, and thousands of Uyghur writers were arrested for ‘advocating separatism’—which often meant nothing more than writing in Uyghur.”

By 1997, the Uyghurs had become a minority in their own homeland. But Xinjiang was far from pacified when I visited the provincial capital of Urumqi that summer. You could feel the tension in the hot stinking air of the most landlocked city on earth.

Uyghur separatists had set off bombs all across China, including three buses blown up in Urumqi a few months earlier.

Han policemen manning roadblocks surrounding the old Muslim quarter tried to discourage me from entering the quarantined zone. “There’s nothing of interest there,” a cop told me.

I insisted. When I arrived at the square in front of a dilapidated mosque, Uyghur men wearing white skullcaps glared menacingly at Han colonists driving past in shiny new Volvos. They brightened up when they learned that I was American.

“We love the United States!” one man told me. “They will come help us kick out China.”

“I listen to Radio Free Asia,” knowingly added an older guy. “America is coming to give us our freedom, we know that, but when exactly?”

How could I tell these people that most Americans had never heard of Uyghurs, East Turkestan or Xinjiang?

Uyghur rebels. ETIM separatists, some of whom had trained at jihadi camps in Afghanistan, were blowing up a Chinese government office every few days.

Then came 9/11.

The Bush Administration, wanting to avert a Chinese veto of its invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq in the U.N. Security Council, granted China a free pass to beat up its Tibetans and Uyghurs. Citing the fact that ETIM members had received arms and training from the Taliban, the U.S. State Department declared the group a “terrorist organization” affiliated with Al Qaeda.

In Xinjiang: China’s Muslim Borderland, Graham Fuller and Jonathan Lippman wrote that this “U.S. declaration [was] catastrophic” for the Uyghurs. The United States had given Beijing “carte blanche to designate all Uyghur nationalist... movements as ‘terrorist.’”

Twenty-two Uyghurs have since joined the ranks of the “terrorists” incarcerated at Guantánanamo. Two Uyghur men, 29 and 31, faced a U.S. military tribunal on Nov. 19, charged only with membership in ETIM and attending a Taliban training camp for antiChinese fighters. Military insiders say most of the Uyghurs will eventually be released, but not to China—our ally in the “war on terror”— because they would probably be tortured and/or executed.

Martial law remains in force in Xinjiang.

The post-9/11 crackdown began with hundreds of arrests and the executions of nine “religious extremists and terrorists.”

One of the dead, convicted of “contributing to disturbance by nationalist splittism forces,” had been overheard joking that he hoped America would come to Xinjiang to free the Uyghurs from Chinese rule. MTW

SURF&SPORTS

By Inga Stracke

Mokulele Motocross Two Maui kids dream of turning pro

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Too many times I’ve driven past the Gokart and race track sign on Mokulele Highway wondered what went on there.

Then last Sunday I impulsively took a left at the sign and followed the road until it took me to the rather noisy Pu’unene motocross track.

There were about 50 guys and girls around, some with their parents. They were training on the dusty, bumpy track.

In one corner I saw a few guys do some pretty impressive jumps and whips.

Two of them were 16-year-olds David Durr and Robby Moss, who are also friends and Baldwin High students. Both of them ride Honda CR 125s and work at Maui Motorcycles to afford their hobby.

“We go to school and do our school stuff and then go and work,” said Durr.

“It’s great because we get to work on all kind of bikes and learn a lot and we can also work on our own bikes if we need to.”

Durr said pro riders Travis Pastrana and Jeremy McGrath are his heroes. At the track he also gets to watch many-time windsurfing world champ Jason Polakow riding. Surfers like Gerry Lopez and windsurfers like Kevin and Matt Pritchard consider motocross their hobbies as well.

“We would love to become pros and ride races on the mainland and all over the world,” said Moss. Of course, they first they have to finish school and get sponsors.

“We practice every weekend if we can,” said Durr, who likes the fact that on the Maui track everybody helps each other out. “Some of the older and more experienced guys help me. They tell me how to ride better and how to avoid mistakes, and I help the little kids when I can. Some of the little kids are, like, five to eight years

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old and really have great potential, especially since they got into it so young.”

“I race because it is fun, and I am very competitive when it comes to racing,” said Moss, who’s been racing for the past four years. “I’m also not afraid of getting hurt. It sucks when I crash, but it is all part of the sport. The only thing that intimidates me is the fact that I have to race against grown men who have been racing longer than me.”

Durr’s only been racing for one year but managed to finish second, third and fourth in recent races. “Every time I ride, it’s fun and I get an adrenaline rush,” he said “When I do the jumps, I still sometimes get scared, but I still try some whips to get better and learn more. I’ve fallen down a few times, but you learn how to kick your bike away from you so you don’t get injured. Fortunately I haven’t really hurt myself.”

The tracks gets maintained well by the 700-member Maui Motocross Association (MMA), which has been around for five years.

Of course, in the old days, riders would just tear across pineapple fields.

“I grew up on a motorcycle on Maui,” said Kurt Furomoto, who owns Aloha Cycles and founded the MMA. After getting spotted too many times riding between the fields, Furomoto received a letter from Avery Chumbley, president of Wailuku Agribusiness and a former state senator.

“He’s the one that pushed me to start this club,” Furomoto said. Today the club maintains about 11 acres, but would like to give riders the opportunity to get off the track.

“There are about 200 to 400 off-road bikes on Maui, a lot for a small island,” he said.

“We are happy that the county provided us the place to ride legally but after a while you get bored to go around the very dusty dirt track.” MTW

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DECEMBER 23, 2004

9

Renaissance Man The vivid world of Ray Masters

By Inga Stracke

10

DECEMBER 23, 2004

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On a Thursday night a few weeks ago I dropped by Casanova in Makawao. They had a new English DJ spinning for a special event. The place was packed and everyone seemed to be having fun. Not long after I went to dinner at Café Mambo in Paia. Incredibly colorful and abstract paintings of Robby Naish kiteboarding covered the walls. Later I found out that the guy who painted the Café Mambo pictures and the English DJ at Casanova were the same person.

His name is Ray Masters, and he’s also one of the most successful sports-fashion designers in the world.

You may not have heard his name, but chances are you’ve zipped up or strapped on one of his designs.

In fact, he was just nominated for the 2005 United States Sports Academy (USSA) Sports Artist of the Year Award.

Today he lives in Sprecklesville with his wife Vivienne and four cats, but he was born and raised in North London. Back then, he didn’t think much about becoming an artist.

In 1970, he started working as a racecar mechanic in London. He did that for about five years, then moved to the island of Malta to work on oil drilling rigs off the coast of North Africa. It was hard and dangerous work.

He did that until 1983. Then he moved to Florida to sell used cars.

In 1986, Masters did his first work of art: Six handpainted t-shirts for his brother’s sports video company.

They debuted, if you can call it that, on the backs of models at the 1986 Action Sports Retailer show in Long Beach, California.

“I bought oversized t-shirts which had just started to become trendy in the U.K. at the time and nobody in the U.S. had really seen them,” Masters told me. “I hand-painted them with massive jumbo designs, a big triple sail, an upside-down sailor, pink sails, all totally new to the U.S. A young Fred Haywood, who had just secured the world speed record, wore one. Many people just stared at our gorgeous models wearing those huge t-shirts.”

Representatives from Swatch soon spotted Masters’ bold artwork and contacted him. They asked him to visit them in New York. Two days later they commissioned him to design clothing and accessories—things like wristbands for the company’s insanely popular watches.

“I was just really, really lucky to jump on the right look and have the right ideas at the right time,” Masters said. “And then those companies find me and discover me—that was super lucky.”

Masters hand-drew his first designs for Swatch.

Since this was an inefficient way to produce multiple designs, Masters bought his first graphics computer, an Amiga 1000. By today’s standards primitive—its 16 colors pale before today’s machines that can display millions—the Amiga was nonetheless the top graphics personal computer of the day.

Masters began producing works with just five or six colors, but he enlarged them 500 percent. The result was a blocky, pixilated work with no true curves or shading. He already had a surreal style, and the end result was truly unique art—all the more revolutionary since computers weren’t really being used in fashion design at that time.

“From a young age I had loved the art of Joan Miro who was noted for his bold use of color and his humorous characters and subjects,” Masters said. “I am a fun loving kinda guy”—here he winked at me—“and I think I express my extrovert nature through the use of bold colors and shapes. Never be too serious.”

The contracts started rolling in. Neil Pryde, the world’s largest sail maker and windsurf company, asked Masers to design all their clothing. Elho Brunner, who owned the Neil Pryde rights, then commissioned Masters to design ski wear for their up-market clothing line Elho Freestyle.

“I walked into the SIA Show [the largest winter sports expo in the world] in Las Vegas and there was the Elho booth,” said Masters. “It seemed as large as a city block, with photographs of my work 10 feet high and 20 feet wide. My name was plastered everywhere.

The next day they commissioned me to design clothing for their entire summer line—a huge honor and task. Later that week I sat in front of my brother’s Amiga in L.A. for almost 36 hours and spewed artwork.

I couldn’t get it out fast enough as ideas and visions tripped over each other. I created the entire summer line in that short period, earning over $1,000 an hour in the process.”

This was the first time Masters designed ski wear. By the late 1980s, his neon ski jackets would cover slopes all over Europe and North America.

“I would use amazing graphics and designs that looked great but made the production people hate me,” he said. “They would come back to the bosses and say, ‘This is impossible, we cannot make it.’ It’s crazy but the bosses would just look at it and say, ‘We like it.

Make it happen. We don’t care how.’”

For Masters and his wife, life had become a rollercoaster. He was working 15 to 18 hours a day and turning out at least 50 design concepts a week. On top of that, he was churning out five to 15 different t-shirt designs each week for local restaurants, clubs and sports bars.

“They just saw my stuff and called me up,” he said. “I was so arrogant about my work that I would not do a t-shirt design for less than four figures. It’s still amaz-

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I am the DJ 36”x48” Acrylic on canvas

ing how much work I did in those years. But instead of losing my motivation or creativity, I learned, got more experienced and even more creative. Back then I was like a kid with a new box of crayons. I felt I could do no wrong. They said to me, ‘Do whatever you want.’ There seemed no limit as to how bold I could be and still get away with it.”

Just a year after buying his Amiga, Masters had become an internationally recognized and highly demanded sports fashion designer and artist. Soon he was branching out to other sports. He designed the best selling t-shirt in the history of Wilson Tennis, as well as clothing for Chris Evert, Dan Marino and the highly fashionable Ellesse group. Sports clothing and the name Ray Masters had become synonymous.

Then he got bored.

“I am not a corporate person,” Masters told me over coffee at Café Mambo. “I started to dislike dealing with those people in their suits. So I walked away.”

Fortunately, Masters soon found a new passion: Racecars. On the side, he helped manage a friend’s race team for the International Motor Sports Association (IMSA) sports car series, which included the Toyota Grand Prix in West Palm Beach. Masters designed the

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event poster. His surreal racecar came at a time where every other racing poster had to show the “nuts and bolts,” he said.

“My design was so bloody different from any other race car poster or t-shirt before,” he said. “[It was] unbelievably abstract, but the board members were very cool and tolerant and let me get away with it.”

The t-shirts sold out instantly and Masters had found a new market. Soon other race organizers, team owners and drivers were asking him for designs. Then he got a new idea—limited edition prints of Indy 500 winners, each hand-signed by the driver. He pitched the concept to every driver at the last Indycar race of the 1992 season in California.

“My first one was Emerson Fittipaldi,” said Masters.

“The prints sat on his desk for months, but just before the Indy 500 he signed them. Luckily for me, he won the race and my signed prints sold out that week.”

Three years later he secured the rights to be the exclusive official vendor for the Miami Grand Prix. His line became the most successful racing merchandising line at any Indy Car event apart from the Indy 500. Within days, the people from Daytona, NASCAR, IMG—the company managing the Cleveland and Detroit racetrack—and more called him.

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His flamboyant designs and broad, new style became hugely popular on the racing scene. A five-page, full color spread in the prestigious magazine Automobile referred to him as the “next big star of Sports Art.” It was the Vegas SIA show all over again.

“I walked into the paddock in Miami and all I could see were my t-shirts,” he said. “I mean everywhere!

I stood there with tears in my eyes and could not believe it. I loved being a big player in the motor sports business. Everybody knew me. Rick [Mears] and Mario [Andretti] would say hello. For about four years, I was definitely the official artist of more racetracks than any other artist.

“We made the posters of all races,” he continued. “[We] had the exclusive merchandise rights. I had six permanent people working for me and up to 100 temps. [Then] I started to feel uncomfortable, almost like a corporation. When I started, I worked from my bedroom. All those big racing guys came and sat down to talk business in my bedroom with my cat Miro on their lap, but now I had a real office and warehouse.”

It was time for another big change.

Being a passionate windsurfer, Masters had been coming to Maui for many years and had fallen in love with the island. He even took time off to help his brother on several Maui windsurfing video projects.

They eventually co-directed the Emmy-award-winning video Heart and Soul.

Around the time when he considered getting out of the racing world, the house he always stayed at on the North Shore went up for sale. Masters said he instantly closed his business and said goodbye to his friends and colleagues. Packing his wife and their two cats, Miro

and Ludwig, they moved to Maui.

He began painting again, this time large scale acrylic on canvas. His work is now more personal.

Picasso’s sweeping curves and distorted faces seem to be inspiring Masters lately as he introduces more shading and depth to his characters. Palettes have moved from containing entirely primary colors to new earth tones—subtle apricots and tans—but they’re always bright and vivid.

His work may have changed, but his intense work habits haven’t.

“Now I am back to 12 to 14 hours a day, six days a week,” he said. “Time is so short and I have a gazillion ideas in my head. I want to get out and make a lot of noise. I feel like my talent has exploded lately. Not being big-headed, I just look at what I used to do. I know I always had the soul for art, but now I have the experience and the licks.”

He recently sold his Sleeping with Cat, a 60” by 48” painting, for more than $20,000. And for the last two years, Medéa Gallery in San Pedro, California has featured two full rooms of Ray’s canvases. Corporations and museums that show his art include The Washington Marine Group, Toyota, The Automobile Museum and Ferrari Museum of Japan, Matrix Beauty Products, Marchon Eyewear, The Daytona USA Museum and the prestigious Jaguar Cars Museum in England.

His homage to Emerson Fittipaldi now hangs in the Philip Morris boardroom in New York. His private collectors include many sports, music and film stars.

Last month, Paul Newman and Mario Andretti made a stunning entrance to his debut New York City show by arriving in an Indy Car, which they drove along Madison Ave.

But Masters says his life isn’t about that kind of thing anymore. Even putting in 12 hours a day at the easel still leaves him time to play. When the wind isn’t blowing he’s out big-wave kayaking.

“Now it’s all about Maui and my life,” he said. “I paint crazy surfers, windsurfers, kiteboarders. I just started working on a 3-D version of a DJ. I have my big studio and work on three to five pieces at a time. I start a painting and have to finish it, otherwise I start correcting and over-painting it in the process many times. I feel super fortunate that people like my art and are buying it. I like to give back something, so I have been working with charities for a long time. In giving something to mostly children’s charities, funny enough, I have found most of my clients without really displaying in galleries.”

Recently International Snowboard Hall of Famer Ken Achenbach asked Masters to paint the bodywork of a new BMW 1200c motorcycle, using all the classic icons like skulls, girls, dice and snakes. He spent four months completing the project, which was followed by 18 hand-rubbed clear coats.

Achenbach recently loaned the machine to Masters for the debut of his art show in Vancouver, British Columbia. More of his artwork may be seen around Vancouver and Whistler. He’s also been asked to contribute to the 2010 winter Olympics.

Masters refuses to predict where his work will go next. With sales of his canvases at an all time high and fetching record amounts, you can pretty much expect that his life will have a few more twists and turns.

“One of the most rewarding things about my work has been the sense of fun I have seen in viewers of my art,” he said. “I would much rather hear a compliment on its humor than on its artistic merit. I have always been amazed how many of my clients have allowed me to poke fun at them and their products.”

On Christmas Eve at 9:30 p.m., Masters will DJ at Casanova. Starting Jan. 12, he will present a new collection of his artwork at Café Mambo in Paia. More of his artwork can be seen at his website www.Raymasters. com. For studio visits contact him at 877-2104 or at ray@ bepositive.com MTW

I Love to Dance 48”x36” Acrylic on canvas

A Lover, a Dancer 48”x36” Acrylic on canvas

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DECEMBER 23, 2004

13

ONO KINEGRINDS

Seafood + Pasta = Fuhgeddaboudit!

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she still remembered my name.

I’ve been going to Koho’s since high “The usual?” she asked. school. Weekly, sometimes twice a week.

I nodded.

I craved it when I was away at college.

After we finished our basket of fries—with a When I came home recently, it was my side of teriyaki and a side of ranch—10 minutes first stop after being picked up at the of gossip and two it’s-a-small-world reunions, airport. My friends and I drove there, and a sizzling sound broke our booth-bubble. Our despite jetlag and being full of airplane friendly aloha shirted-server placed a tray peanuts, I already had the routine down stand by our table and served us chicken fajilike yesterday was my last visit. tas, with nicely sliced strips of meat lying on a “Four of us, no, five of us, and a booth, bed of searing hot caramelized onions. With it please,” I said. You’ve gotta have a booth. came a plate filled with It makes you feel chopped lettuce, salsa— like you’re the which, I gotta say, looks only ones there.

275 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului, 877-5588. and tastes more like It makes you feel Open Sun.-Mon., 7 a.m.-10 p.m.; Tues.-Thurs., sliced tomatoes—grated like you can talk cheese, sour cream and about whatever 7 a.m.-11 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 7 a.m.-Midnight. $ guacamole. I also added and whoever you a side of papaya seed dressing for a touch of want and it’d be nobody’s business. tang.

“Don’t tell her I told you, but he didn’t There’s only one way to leave Koho’s, and call her all day Sunday,” one of us would that’s stuffed and satisfied. So if your meal say. didn’t do it for you, I’d highly recommend “Sunday?” another would ask. “All the Kilauea Snowball. It’s a scoop of fried ice day?” cream, smothered in honey and sitting in a “Ya, she text messaged him twice, graham and brown sugar shell. beeped him repeatedly and called his I wish I could explain why I can’t get enough Aunty.” of Koho’s. Maybe it’s because the place epito“And?” mizes island living. You come as you are and “He was surfing.” run into more people than you can imagine.

“So? Can’t he call her in between sets?

Plus it’s the only restaurant I can think of Or get one of those waterproof phones?” where talking on your cell phone is 100 percent “I know!” acceptable. Oh, and any restaurant that makes “Poor girl.” a mac salad a menu item is okay by me. MTW “So, I told her that and she got mad. I was just being honest.”

“And you are… so… honest.”

Until, of course they walk in the door and end up sitting in the booth behind us.

I swear, everyone’s a regular and everyone loves a booth. And Koho’s has at least a dozen, so we’re all accommodated.

(And yes, I know the place is actually “Koho Grill and Bar,” but everyone just calls it “Koho’s.”)

The atmosphere is colorful and casual.

There are bright paintings on the walls and on the menus. In fact, the menu has a cartoon car that twists down a road with a ‘ukulele strapped on the back. But when I finally came back to Koho’s I had no need to look at the menu. I already knew what I wanted.

But of course I had to play it off like I was considering options. Do I get the Teriyaki Plate? Chicken or beef? That sounds good. But then there’s the Koho Plate—chicken with a secret mushroom sauce. Interesting. How about the Crab Buerre Blanc? Mmm: Garlic mashed potatoes, fish of the day and steamed veggies all topped with a crab buerre blanc sauce! Oh, but that’s only offered for dinner? Darn.

Then our friendly waitress came along in her bright aloha shirt. After four years,

Nachos, Koho-style

Dininglistings Central Maui Ale House - Wide selection of food with sports and games all around. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877–9001. $ Aloha Grill - A large assortment of burgers with veggie styles and all the extras. Dairy Road Marketplace, Kahului, 893–0263. $

Manaña Garage - Latin American cuisine with unique and colorful decor. Try the Chicken Tortilla Epozote, vegetarian enchilada and paella. Cool, quaint bar. 33 Lono St., Kahului, 873–0220. $$ Marco’s Grill Deli - A lavish and beautiful setting complements the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 444 Hana Hwy, Kahului, 877-4486. $$

Ba-Le - French-Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Plus, a large variety of tapioca. 270 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-2400. $

Maui Coffee Roasters - Ono grinds and freshly roasted coffee in a fun and casual atmosphere makes this the place to take five. 444 Hana Hwy, Kahului, 877–CUPS. $

Bangkok Cuisine - Casual setting featuring exceptional Thai food with plenty of crisp vegetables and fresh seafood. Lunch, dinner or take-out. 395 Dairy Road, Kahului, 893-0026. $

Maui Beach Hotel - Buffet-style restaurant featuring different foods each night of the week. Features range from Shabu Shabu (tons of meat) to sushi and Japanese. 170 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului, 877-0051. $$

Biwon Restaurant - Fresh and flavorful, authentic Korean food. Open 10 a.m.-10 p.m., lunch and dinner. 752 Lower Main, Wailuku, 244-7788. $

Maui Mix Plate - Traditional foods of the varied ethnic groups who call Hawaii home. 70 Ka’ahumanu Ave, Kahului, 877-0706. $

Café Marc Aurel - Offers an elegantly casual menu, including Gourmet Cheeses, Dolmas, Tzaiki and an extensive By-The-Glass wine list.

28 N. Market Street, Wailuku near the Iao Theatre. 244-0852. $$ Cupie’s Drive-In - Local lunch take-out. Open Monday through Saturday. 134 W Kamehameha Ave, Kahului, 877-3055. $ Curry in a Hurry - Curry dishes that are delightful and delicious in alternative vegetarian eating. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-3328. $ Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food. Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken katsu. Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. 425 Koloa St., Kahului, 871-7782. $ Denny’s - Open 24 hours, serving breakfast, lunch or dinner. Omelettes, burgers, salads. 430 Kele St., Kahului, 873-5550. $ Dragon Dragon Chinese Restaurant Excellent service and fair prices with dishes like Kung Pao Chicken, Crispy Gau Gee Mein and Honey Walnut Prawns. Maui Mall, Kahului, 893-1628. $ Dish - The concept is simple. Every month, the owner and manager decide on a different “menu” of 14 entrees, of which you may select 12 to assemble in their kitchen. Sessions available Wed-Sat. 150 Hana Highway, Kahului, 877-1414. $$ Dunes Restaurant - Adventuresome revisions of local and American breakfast, lunch and dinner favorites. Maui Lani Golf Course, Kahului, 877–7461. $$ Fiesta Time - Superior Mexican taqueria.

Order a la carte or combo special with the freshest ingredients. 1132 Lower Main, Wailuku, 249-8463. $ Gardencafe (Brigit & Bernard’s) - Oasis of cozy European and fresh island fish cuisine in the midst of the industrial zone. Lunch, dinner, catering. 335 Ho’ohana St., Kahului, 877-6000. $$ Ichiban Restaurant and Sushi Bar Breakfast, lunch and dinner featuring modestly priced Japanese and local cuisine. Kahului Shopping Center, 871–6977. $$ International House of Pancakes - (IHOP)Open for breakfast, specialty pancakes, sandwiches, along with lunch and dinner entrees.

Maui Mall, Kahului, 871-4000. $ Little Ceasar Pizza Station - Specialty pizzas along with salads and sandwiches. Located inside of K-mart. 424 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1566. $ Koho Grill & Bar - Comfort food in a casual setting. Breakfast, lunch and dinner Open daily at 7 a.m. 275 Kaahumanu Ave., Queen Kaahumanu Center, 877-5588.

Kozo Sushi - Fast food take out. Open 9 a.m to 7 p.m. Mon through Sat. Sushi platters available. 52 Market Place, Kahului, 243-5696. $ Krispy Kreme - This place is known all over the world for its warm, tasty glazed doughnuts.

433 Kele St., Kahului, 893-0883. $ Mama Ding’s Pasteles - This family owned resturant consist of a variety of breads, coconut papaya bread, apple cinnnamon, Puerto Rican sweet bread. Serving breakfast. Open 7 a.m. - 2 p.m.255 Alamaha, Kahului. 877-5796. $

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Gift Certificates That Come With A Side Of Coleslaw

Available at

Pulehu

874-TACOS

BBQ

1279 S. Kihei Rd. (Next to Bank of Hawaii) Azeka Mauka

BUY 1 ENTREE GET SECOND ENTREE

Shack

HALF PRICE!

1500-A Lower Main St., Wailuku

244-4049

Must present coupon. Not good with other offers.

Good from 3-9pm. Expires 12/23/04

Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, lime juices and island spices. 275 Kaahumanu Ave, Queen Kaahumanu Mall, Kahului, 871-7726. $

Christmas buffet $19.95

Mike’s Restaurant - Authentic Chinese cooking and ono local grinds. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Also offer catering. 1900 Main St., Wailuku, 244-7888. $

•Soup or Salad (choice of dressing) •Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes or Local Rice •Pineapple Glaxed Carrots with Macadamia Nuts •Broccoli with Garlic Chips •Slow Roasted Prime Rib with Horseradish Cream & Ajoue •Fresh Local Mahimahi with Fruit Salsa •Local Style Kalua Pork •Assorted Desserts

Piñata’s - Fresh and wholesome Mexican food from the kitchen sink burritos to quesadillas. Casual dining and various piñatas available, too. 395 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877–8707. $ Pulehu BBQ - Local plate lunches with a Southern smokehouse twist. 1500 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 244-4049 or 244-6159. $ Ruby’s - Walk down memory lane at this fabulous ‘50s cafe. Old time American dining morning to night.

Queen Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 248-7829. $ Saeng’s Thai Cuisine - Vegetarian, meat and seafood Thai entrees in a casual garden setting. 2119 Vineyard, Wailuku, 244-1567. $$ Saigon Cafe - Wailuku’s hidden secret! Delicious and affordable Vietnamese cuisine with excellent service. 1792 Main, Wailuku, 243-9560. $$ Sam Sushi - Located inside Wow-Wee Cafe with over 20 years of experience in the food industry.

Catering and party trays available. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 873-6400. $ Sandalwood Golf Course Restaurant - Lunch with a view, served from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. 2500 Honoapiilani Hwy, Waikapu, 242-6000. $$

Variety Is Our Specialty 2511 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei • 879-1954

YOUR KITCHEN AWAY FROM HOME Happy Hour EVERY DAY!

Sheik’s Restaurant - Local favorites including Loco Moco and Shoyu Chicken. 97 Wakea Ave, Kahului, 877-0121. $

from 12 to 3pm and 9 to 11pm

Siu’s Chinese Kitchen - Fast food Chinese with daily specials. All entrees are served with rice or noodles. 70 E Kaaumanu Ave., Maui Mall, 871-0828. $ Squeaky’s Family Restaurant - “A Taste of Philadelphia” with real Philly cheesesteak, pan fried trout, vegetarian meatloaf. Open for breakfast. 197 North Market Street, Wailuku, 244-4100. $ Stillwell’s Bakery & Cafe - Specialty cakes and desserts, breads and pastries, with sandwiches, salads and soups for lunch. Open 6 a.m.-4 p.m. Mon-Sat. 1740 Kaahumanu Ave, Wailuku, 243-2243. $ Sushi Go - Presents a concept unlike anything we’ve seen on Maui: Conveyor-belt sushi. Queen Ka’ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744. $

$ 2.25 Pizza Slices 2 Bud or Coors Lt Draft Beers $ 3 Well Drinks

$

A Taste of Lahaina Winner for 4 Consecutive Years

“Best Vegetarian” “Best Meat” “Best Appetizer” & “Best Seafood”

505 Front Street, 661–8112

Sub Paradise - Maui’s famous subs since 1990.

Coffee, an extensstive list of breakfast bagels, sub Sandwiches and salads. Open M-F 7 - p.m Sat 7-5pm, Sun 7-4pm 395 E. Dairy Rd, 877-8779.

Mega Touch Games, Pool Table, Jukebox

KAMA’AINA & SEAFOOD

SPECIALS ALL WEEK LONG

Takamiya Market - Plate lunches, homemade corned beef, sashimi, tossed salads. Catering and banquet facility. Happy Valley, Wailuku, 244-3404. $

NIGHTLY SPECIALS

Tasty Crust - Local style cuisine for breakfast (try their famous hotcakes), lunch and dinner. Serving Maui since 1944. 1770 Mill, Wailuku, 244-0845. $

MON-1-1/4 LB LIVE MAINE LOBSTER $18.95 TUES-KAMA’AINA 50% OFF DINNER ENTREES WED-1LB. ALASKAN KING CRAB LEGS $19.95 THUR-14OZ PRIME RIB $16.95 FRI-KAMA’AINA 50% OFF DINNER ENTREES

Tiffany’s - Featuring 103 items of local and Asian entrees, Bento boxes, noodles and fish. Featuring DJ and Karaoke, open 10:30-2 a.m. 1424 Lower Main St. Wailuku 249-0052. $

Kama’aina valid w/ HI ID & 17% Gratuity prior to Discount

HAPPY HOUR DAILY 3-6

Tin Ying Chinese Restaurant - A Hong Kong style Chinese seafood restaurant. They have over 100 menu choices at reasonable prices. Buffet style lunch take-out, as well as sit down dining. 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-4371. $

$2.75 TROPICALS / WELLS • $1.75 DRAFTS $1.00 FRESH OYSTER SHOOTERS DOLLAR DOUBLE ALL DAY

Tokyo Tei - Lunch and dinner featuring teriyaki beef and fish, tempura, katsu, saimin and more. 1063 E.

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Maui Time Weekly

DECEMBER 23, 2004

15

Dininglistings PRICE GUIDE

$’$10-$20

Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-9630. $ Valley Isle Seafood - Known for their luau stew, along with several choices of seafood.

475 Hukilike St., Kahului, 873-4847. $ Wei Wei BBQ & Noodle House - Very affordable Chinese cuisine, counter-service, delicious noodle dishes. 210 Imikala St., Wailuku, 242-7928. $

ark Ellman’s

Wow-Wee Maui Cafe - Unique candy bars, ice cream shakes, bagels, coffees, sandwiches and soups. Also a Hawaiian menu, kava kava, sushi and oxygen bars. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1414. $

South Maui Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Affordable takeout seafood, chicken, ribs—all deep fried tempura style or grilled. 1913 S Kihei Rd., 874-0788. $ Antonio’s - Italian cuisine in a cozy atmosphere, extensive wine list and friendly service.

Trust me--try the Tiramisu. 1215 S. Kihei Rd., 875-8800. $$

$$’$20-$40

$$$’$40 and up

K’Kama’aina Discount

Aroma D’Italia Ristorante - Southern Italian cuisine and full wine list at reasonable prices. Open MonSat, 5-9 p.m. 1881 S Kihei Rd., 879-0133. $$ Ashley’s South Shore Cafe - Affordable breakfast, lunch and dinner with burgers, local plates, fresh island fish, comfort foods and deli sandwiches. 362 Hukulii Pl. (behind Tesoro gas station), Kihei, 874-8600. $ BadaBing! - Home of the Rat Pack Bar. Pizzas, pastas and Italian specialties created with love and a little attitude. $10 wines and kids eat free on Monday and Saturday. Fuhgeddaboudit! 1945 S Kihei Rd., 875–0188. $$ Big Wave Cafe - Small cafe serving Pacific Rim cuisine, including lobster and sweet corn fritter with furikake tartar sauce, and coconut shrimp with fruit salsa and ginger lilikoi sauce. Open daily. 1215 S Kihei Rd., 891-8688. $ Bistro Molokini - Blend of California and island cuisine, lunch and dinner. Poolside. Grand Wailea, 875-1234. $$ Bocalino Bistro & Bar - Affordably priced Mediterranean cuisine. Open for dinner. Late night menu served until 1 a.m. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-9299. $$

“Who

said a great meal has to be expensive”

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

Blue Marlin Harbor Front Grill & Bar - Get amazing seafood, steaks, sandwiches, pizza and sushi.

Eat outdoors overlooking the Ma’alaea Fishing Fleet.

Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-8844. $$ Buzz’s Warf - Steaks, seafood and more, including Sweet Paradise Prawns. Reservations recommended.

Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-5426. $$ Cafe Kiowai - Authentic Japanese fare according to centuries-old tradition. Casual dining in a relaxed garden setting. 5400 Makena Alanui, Maui Prince Hotel, 874--1111.$$ Caffe Ciao - Italian cuisine baked in a Kiawe wood oven. Open for lunch and dinner. Dine outdoors poolside. The Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 875-4100. $$

Kihei Caffe - Affordable breakfast and lunch with lanai seating, hearty portions, tasty sandwiches, huli chicken and fresh fish. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 879-2230. $

Cyberbean Internet Cafe - Gourmet coffee, espressos, cappucinos, lattes, sandwiches, smoothies and salads. 1881 S Kihei, 879-4799. $

Life’s a Beach - Food and drinks in a fun atmosphere. Nachos, burritos, prime rib and grilled mahi mahi are just some of the specialties. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., 891–8010. $

Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food.

Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken katsu.

Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. 2439 S Kihei Rd., 875-7782. $

Longhi’s Wailea - Seafood, meat and pasta entrees with many not listed on the menu. Ask the server for details. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891–8883. $$$

Enrique’s Resturant - Athentic Mexican Food.

Fajitas, Seafood, Shrimp Tequilia Fish Tacos, Enchiladas, Tamales, Burritos, Vegetarian. Open M-Sa 10 am - 9pm Su 10 am - 8pm. 2395 S. Kihei Rd 112.

875-2910. $

LuLu’s - Ribs, burgers, chicken wings, Black ‘n Blue Ahi and more in a fun, upbeat tiki-fied atmosphere with a huge bar and open-air deck. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9944. $

Horhitos Mexican Cantina - Burritos, salads, appetizer and “food for gringos,” too. Located next to Hapa’s Nightclub. Open 5 p.m. to 2 a.m. Mon.-Sat. Lipoa St., Kihei, 891-MEXI. $ Hula Moon - Enjoy breakfast, lunch, dinner or a champagne Sunday brunch with an open air tropical

661-6633 • 180 Dickenson Street • Lahaina 16

DECEMBER 23, 2004

dining

Lobster Cove - Seafood, steak and lobster at its best in a relaxed and casual atmosphere. Open 5 p.m. to midnight daily. 100 Ike Dr., Wailea, 879–7677. $$$

Denny’s - Open 24 hours for breakfast, lunch or dinner with omelets, burgers, salads. 2763 S. Kihei Rd., 879-8600.

Harry’s Sushi Bar - Japanese cuisine with fresh and delicious sushi. Open 5 p.m.-12 a.m. 100 Ike Drive, Wailea, 879-7677. $$

50¢ extra / Cooked to order so it takes a few minutes longer

Joy’s Place - “Smart eating” featuring organic foods which are low fat, low salt and wheat free. Open Mon thru Sat, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. 1993 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9258. $

Cafe Del Sol - Sandwiches and fresh fish, daily special. Open for breakfast and lunch. 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.

3620 Baldwin Ave, Makowa 572-4877. $

Five Palms Restaurant - Local produce and fish featuring Pacific Rim seafood. Breakfast, lunch, pupus and dinner. Open 8 a.m.-9 p.m. 2960 S. Kihei Rd., 879–2607. $$

We now have Brown Rice Pasta! Wheat & Gluten Free!

Jawz Tacos - Island-style tacos and burritos, including choice of vegetarian, mahi mahi, ono, shrimp, chicken or steak. Impressive salsa bar and the taco salads are da bomb! 1280 S Kihei Rd., 874-TACO. $

Kai Ku Ono - A tapas-style menu, where everything is a la carte, special late night menu and sushi. Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner with bar and lounge area.

2511 S Kihei Rd., 875–1007. $$

Ferraro’s - Gourmet Italian cuisine oceanfront with live violin and guitar, outdoor kiawe-wood-burning oven, all-day lunches and cucina rustica dinners. Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. $$$

Pastas, Salads, Pizzas, Sandwiches and Nightly Seafood Specials with nothing over $12.95

Humuhumunukunukuapua’a -Hawaiian and Polynesian cuisine oceanside. Grand Wailea Resort, 875-1234 ext. 4900. $$$

Capische? - Contemporary Italian with a twist and an extensive wine list. Commanding ocean views from every table. Wailea Diamond Resort, 879–2224. $$$

Fernando’s - Authentic Mexican food. Open 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 879-9952. $

Beer & Wine

setting and spectacular ocean views. Featuring fresh Hawaiian fish. 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-7831. $$$

Ma`alaea Grill - Reasonably priced fine dining overlooking the harbor from the Maui Ocean Center.

Ma`alaea Harbor Village, 243–2206. $$ Ma’alaea Waterfront Restaurant - Seafood and Continental cuisine. Open for dinner daily from 5 p.m.

Milowai Condominium, 50 Hauoli St., 244-9028. $$ Marco’s South Side Grill - A lavish and beautiful setting complements the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 1445 S Kihei Rd., 874–4041. $$ Maui Espresso & Shave Ice - Finest Hawaiian shave ice, a full service coffee kiosk, fruit smoothies and shakes. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0414. $ Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, lime juices and spices from the islands. 2411 S. Kihei Road, Kamaole Beach Center, 879-5005. $ Mulligan’s On the Blue - Maui’s authentic Irish pub, plenty o’Irish food, whiskey and beer. Breakfast served till 3 p.m 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874–1131. $

Dininglistings PRICE GUIDE

$’$10-$20 $$’$20-$40 $$$’$40 and up K’Kama’aina Discount

Nick’s Fishmarket - Fine dining in open air and elegance with amazing seafood dishes and fresh fish. Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 879–7224. $$$ Pita Paradise - Good food served fast.

Serving up a mean Mediterranean-style “gyro,” salads and wraps, with outdoor lanai. Kihei Kalama Village Center, 875–7679. $ Royal Thai Cuisine - Thai food with a large selection of vegetarian dishes. Open for lunch (Mon-Fri) and dinner (nightly). 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0813. $ Roy’s Bar & Grill - Mouth-watering Hawaiian fusion entrees in a spacious and upbeat atmosphere. Open nightly from 5:30 to 10 p.m.

Fine dining, reservations recommended. Piilani Shopping Center, 303 Piikea Ave., Kihei, 8911120. $$$ Sansei Restaurant - Japanese-based Pacific Rim dining, sushi bar and late night menu.

Award-winning cuisine, early bird and late night special. 1881 S. Kihei Rd., 879–0004. $$ K Sarento’s on the Beach - Contemporary dining near the water’s edge. Italian cuisine, very romantic. Private VIP table available. 2980 S. Kihei Rd., 875–7555. $$$ Seawatch - Hawaii regional cuisine utilizing the freshest island fish and produce. Open for breakfast and lunch 8 a.m to 3 p.m, dinner 5:30 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Drive, Wailea, 875-8080. $$ Shabu Shabu Toji - Healthy and delicious Japanese style fondue. Beef, Pork, or Seafood, and veggies. Open for lunch Wed-Fri; dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m. nightly. 1280 S. Kihei Rd. #120, 875-8366. $ Spago - Gourmet cuisine as presented by worldfamous chef-owner Wolfgang Puck. Oceanfront dining at its finest! Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. $$$

Vietnamese Cuisine - Hawaiian Opakapaka filet, soft shell crab, New York steak. Open 10:30 a.m-9:30 p.m. Azeka Place I, Kihei, 875-2088. $$

some grub? Charley’s serves it hearty and healthy from breakfast to dinner and beyond. 142 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia, 579–9453. $ K

Yorman’s By The Sea - Southern Pacific Cusine with a blend of Louisiana Cajun and tropical flare.

Open 5-10 pm. Music nightly. 760 S. Kihei Rd, Kihei 874-8385. $$ K

Colleen’s - 1940’s style urban bistro serving breakfast, lunch and dinner from 6 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. daily.

Haiku Cannery, 575-9211. $$

Upcountry Anthony’s Coffee Company - A full espresso bar, hot and cold sandwiches, ice cream. Make sure to stop in for a great box lunch to go! 90 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-8340. $ Aha’Aina - Ocean front dinning Featuring a delicious chili pork burrito and a large variety of omelets. Island fish, chicken Katsu. Open for breakfast and lunch only Tues - Sat 7a.m. - 2 p.m. Sun 7 a.m. -1 p.m. 7 Aewa Place, Pukalani, 572-2395. $$ Café 808 - Local diner style serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Open daily from 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. 4566 Lower Kula Rd., Kula, 878-6874. $ Cafe O’Lei - Featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch, delicious salads, focaccia sandwiches.

11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Makawao Paniolo Courtyard, 5739065. $$ Café Des Amis - Charming cafe with delicious sweet and savory crepes and Mediterranean fare. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-6323. $ Café Mambo - International bistro featuring Mediterranean and Mexican cuisine with Moorish influences. 30 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8021. $ Cakewalk Paia Bakery - High quality baked goods, sandwiches and specialty cakes. 2 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8770. $ Casanova - First class service, first class food. Fine Italian dining at night and Makawao’s favorite deli by day. 1188 Makawao Ave., 572–0220. $$ Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon - Hankering for

Spices - Steak, seafood and more! Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8860. $$$

Fresh Mint - Vietnamese vegetarian cuisine including Summer Rolls, Spicy Lemongrass Soup and Soy Fish in Clay Pot. Open daily 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Catering and take-out available. 115 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 5799144. $ Hali`imaile General Store - Gourmet dining in a charming atmosphere with food from Chef Beverly Gannon’s award-winning menu. 900 Hali`imaile Rd, 572–2666. $ Hana Hou Cafe - Hawaiian homestyle cooking with aloha-filled ambience and local musicians. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-2661. $ Island Tacos - Taco stand with fresh, made-to-order fish, beef and chicken tacos. Daily from 11 a.m.-4 p.m.

810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery. $ Jacque’s Northshore Bistro - Tropical yet festive atmosphere, with a sushi bar, indoor and lanai dining.

120 Hana Hwy, Pa`ia, 579–8844. $$ Jameson’s Grill & Bar - Featuring fine steaks, fresh local fish and seafood, and of course, baked artichoke. 200 Kapalua Dr., Kapalua, 669-5653. $$$ Kimura Saimin Shop - Casual atmosphere, simple, affordable menu with fresh ingredients done right!

810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-5228. $ Kitada’s - Saimin for breakfast is a standard. Teriyaki beef, hamburger steak, tofu and teriyaki all available.

3617 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572–7241. $ Kula Lodge & Restaurant - Upcountry’s familystyle restaurant with sweeping views of the island.

Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Haleakala Highway, 878-1535. $ La Provence - French-style bistro and patisserie with lanai, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Open

$

300 OFF

Stella Blues Cafe - Healthy, quality food in a casual, homestyle setting. Breakfast, lunch and dinner with daily specials. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-3779. $$

ANY POUND OF REGULAR PRICED COFFEE

South Shore Tiki Lounge - Killer burgers, sausage sandwiches, mai-tais and the best pizza. Awesome outdoor seating on the Aloha Jungle Lanai. Open 11 a.m. - 2 a.m. serving food ‘till midnite! Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444 $

with this coupon. expires 12/31/04

444 Hana Hwy. Kahului

Sports Page Bar & Grill - Over 100 menu items, including 1/2 lb burgers and deli sandwhiches with 24 T.V.’s, and a full bar. Open 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. 2411 S. Kihei Rd, 879-0602. $

Corner of Dairy Rd. & Hana Hwy.

877–CUPS

WWW.HAWAIIANCOFFEE.COM

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Cafe - Relaxed island luxury in ambience and cuisine, with ocean views and live music. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983. $$ Tony Roma’s - Famous for ribs, barbequed chicken and onion ring loaf, along with daily special. 1819 S. Kihei Road, 875-1104. $$

2 OFF ANY PIZZA PIE!

$

Homemade Italian Cuisine

opopopopopopopopop

Made from Scratch

.00

•OFFER EXPIRES 12/31/04 •NOT VALID WITH OTHER OFFERS •MUST PRESENT

Ravioli Lasagna Meatballs Osso Buco Tiramisu

Indoor & Outdoor Dining BOTH with a Great View of the Game

PIZZA • CALZONES HOT & COLD HEROS Phone:

661-6773

Fax:

667-1922

Open Tuesdays thru Sundays 5pm - 9pm

Located in Lahaina Square • Next to Ace Hardware

1215 S. Kihei Rd. (Long’s Ctr.) • 875-8800

DELIVERY • 7 DAYS • 11am to 10pm

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EMPLOYEE OF THE

WEEK AS TOLD TO SARAH ELWELL

Jaya Critchlow Line Cook, Colleen’s

I was growing up in Hana when my mom first taught me how to cook. My first cooking job was at the Hana Hotel. The first special dish I created myself was Macadamia nut-encrusted onaga with wasabi cream sauce. Everyone loved it and it made me feel good.

I’ve worked for Colleen’s [in the Haiku Cannery] now for four years. I had a friend that used to work for Colleen’s and when I moved to the area I thought it would be fun and convenient to work here, too. Colleen used to have a bakery-coffee shop around the corner and I cooked pizzas at night. Now, Colleen’s moved to a larger space and we have a full restaurant, kitchen and menu.

Colleen’s opens for breakfast at 6:30 a.m., and serves lunch, too. I usually work the dinner shift and come in to relieve the lunch cook around 3:00 p.m. When I get to work I start switching the kitchen area over from lunch and prep it for dinner. We serve a happy hour menu until 5:30 during this time and then dinner starts at 5:30. We usually start getting busy for dinner from 6:30 to 8:30.

Our most popular menu item seems to be the Ahi Nicoise Salad, but I think our filet is the best. I also like our ahi poke. It’s always fresh, good quality ahi, and made to order with fresh Hawaiian chili pepper. Sometimes I like to run dinner specials and feature a vegetarian dish or special deserts like crème brulee or chocolate espresso soufflé.

When we first opened the new kitchen at Colleen’s we had two really good chefs that trained me to make fine dining dishes and special sauces. I take pride in what I do and always like to make a nice presentation on the plate. I like to watch the looks on people’s faces when they first see their food arrive and take their first bite. It makes me happy when something is really good and they like it.

I always look forward to going to work at Colleen’s and make good food. Everyone I work with is very cool and relaxed. I also enjoy working for a local business in a non-corporate atmosphere. MTW

Maui Time Weekly

DECEMBER 23, 2004

17

Dininglistings PRICE GUIDE

$’$10-$20

$$$’$40 and up

$$’$20-$40

K’Kama’aina Discount

cious daily special. 3 Baldwin St., Paia, 579–8755. $

Wed thru Sun, 8:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. 3158 Lower Kula Rd., 878-1313. $$

Moana Bakery & Cafe - Pacific Rim dining for vegetarians and meat eaters. Bakery provides wonderful goodies for the sweet tooth. 71 Baldwin Ave., Pa`ia, 579–9999. $

Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks, smoothies. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. Sun thru Thu; 6 a.m. to midnight Fri and Sat. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009. $

Pa`ia Fish Market - By serving fresh local Hawaiian fish daily, they are the hot spot for seafood lovers without the upscale pocket. 100 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia, 579–8030. $

Lynne’s Cafe - Affordable homestyle local food including breakfast, plate lunch, chow fun and more! Catering available. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-9363. $

Polli’s Mexican Restaurant - Paniolo country’s premier Mexican cantina, with nachos, burritos, ensaladas and more! 1202 Makawao Ave., 572-7808. $

Makawao Steak House - Classic and comfortable menu with daily fish preparations and salad bar. 3612 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 5728711. $$ Mama’s Fish House - Fresh island fish with fresh local ingredients at “Maui’s favorite restaurant.” 799 Poho Pl., Kuau, 579–8448. $$$

SandBar & Grill - Casual contemporary island cuisine, featuring salads, kiawe grill burgers, sandwiches and lobster tacos. Full bar, happy hour everyday 4-6 p.m. Open daily from 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. 89 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-8742. $

Maui’s Best Tamales & Local Food Authentic, fresh and tasty Mexican cuisine along with local favorites. 81 Makawao Ave., Pukalani Square, 573-2998. $

Vasi Gourmet - The best cakes and patries around, along with delicious salads, quiches and Gyro’s with a variety of teas. open 7 a.m.-8 p.m. 810 Kokomo Road, Haiku Market Place. 575-9588. $

Milagros Food Co. - South American cuisine with an island influence. Best people watching spot in Pa`ia! Extensive tequila menu and deli-

Veg Out - Vegan and vegetarian food, from Mexican, Italian and Far East influences. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-5320. $

Normal Hours

Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner Open Daily: 7:30am - 1am Dinner served 5pm - 10pm

Christmas Day

Homestyle New American Comfort Food

(Sat. December 25th) Breakfast 7:30-12:00 reg. menu Lunch 11:00-2:00 reg. menu Dinner 3:00-9:00 special menu

Christmas Dinner Reservations Recommended 874-3779

lAppetizers

lSalads

Smoked Fish Dip

8.95

Locally caught marlin smoked & blended with cream cheese, red bell peppers, onion and garlic baked until bubbly served with pita bread for dipping

Crispy Crabcakes

10.95

Stella’s Holiday Salad 6.95

Upcountry greens tossed with papaya, mango vinaigrette, dried cranberries, walnuts & feta cheese

Classic Caesar Salad

6.95

Hearts of romaine tossed with home made croutons & Parmesan cheese

Lump Crab, lightly bound and breaded with cornflakes & served with tangy remoulade sauce

lEntrees

Shrimp Cocktail

Traditional meal served with mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, vegetables and cranberries

9.95

Six large poached shrimp served with spicy cocktail sauce

lKeiki Menu Turkey Dinner

10.95

Traditional meal served with mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, vegetables and cranberries

Prime Rib Dinner

Served with mashed potatoes, a jus, horseradish& vegetables

12.95

Grilled Cheese

7.95

Hamburger

9.95

Served with French Fries

Served with French Fries

Turkey Dinner

18.95

Prime Rib

24.95

Served with mashed potatoes, a jus, horseradish& vegetables

Pan Seared Onaga

28.95

Stir Fry

14.95

With a pineapple beurreblanc sauce, rice pilaf and vegetables

An array of mixed vegetables sautéed in a teriyaki sauce served over white rice 16.95 with Tofu with Chicken 17.95

Book your X-mas parties in our fabulous Banquet Room

Where people & food of good taste come together!

IN OUR NEW LOCATION - AZEKA II - 874-3779

18

DECEMBER 23, 2004

dining

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

West Maui A&J Kitchen, Deli & Bakery - Choose from American, Hawaiian, Korean and Chinese cuisines.

Bakery with cakes and cookies. Lahaina Center, 667–0623. $ Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Seafood, chicken, ribs, deep fried tempura style or grilled. Great food great prices. 844 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, 667-9009. $ Aloha Mixed Plate - Experience the traditional foods of the varied ethnic groups who call Hawaii home. 285 Front St., Lahaina, 661-3322. $ Athens Greek Restaurant - Affordable and authentic gyros, shish kebab, falafel and more.

Ya’Sou! Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-4300. $ The Bakery - Fresh baked breads and pastries. Soup and sandwiches available. 991 Limahana Pl., Lahaina, 667-9062. $ Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Wide variety of tapioca.

Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-5566. $ Bamboo Bar & Grill - Vietnamese, Thai and Japanese sushi. Delivery available, great daily special.

Open late with full bar, pool tables. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4051. $ K Banyan Tree - “Eclectic Pacific cuisine with a Hawaiian twist.” Lodge atmosphere, ocean views.

Ritz Carlton Kapalua, 669–6200. $$$ Basil Tomato’s Italian Grill - Specializing in Northern Italian cuisine. Come in for the ambience, stay for the delightful dining experience. 2780 Kekaa Dr., Kaanapali, 662-3210. $$ BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Deep-dish specialty pizzas and homemade Pizookies with live music nightly.

Overlooking Lahaina Town with ocean view. 730 Front St., 661-0700. $ Blue Lagoon - Casual dining with local grinds and bar, surrounded by waterfalls and palm trees. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661–8141. $ Breakwall Cafe - Serving breakfast, coffee, sandwiches, salads, smoothies. Open everyday 7 a.m.-2 p.m. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-7220. $ Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. - Fine Southern foods, with “Forrest Gump” movie memorabilia and logo wear in a lively, casual atmosphere. 889 Front St., Lahaina, 661–3111. $$ Cafe O’Lei - Oceanfront dining featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch and dinner.

Delicious salads and Focaccia sandwiches. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661–9491. $$ Cafe Sauvage - Gourmet, hearty, satisfying fare in an unpretentious setting. Extensive beer and wine menu, after-dinner cordials, and desserts! 844 Front St., Lahaina, 661–7600. $$ K

SAM SUSHI NOW OPEN IN

Canoes - Casual yet elegant dining serving Polynesian style steaks, and seafood. Lunch 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m., dinner 5-9 p.m. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 661–0937. $$ Captain Dave Fish & Chips - Classic baskets of fish and chips. Open daily. 126 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-6700. $ Castaway Cafe - Beachside, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Soups, salads, pasta. Maui Kaanapali Villas & Resort, 661-9091. $ Cilantro - Fresh Mexican Grill island fish, tacos and burritos. Mexican food beyond the border. 170 Papalaua St., Lahaina, 667-5444. $ Chez Paul Restaurant - Fine dining French cuisine, open for dinner only. Romantic setting. Call for reservations. 820 Olowalu Rd., Olowalu, 661-3843. $$$ K China Boat - The best Mandarin Szechwan cuisine on Maui, open for lunch and dinner. 4474 L. Honoapiilani Road, Kahana Gateway Shopping Center, 669-5089. $ CJ’s Deli & Diner - Reasonably priced comfort foods like Reuben sandwiches, pot roast, freshly baked pies and more. Open daily. 2580 Kekaa Dr., Fairway Shops, Kaanapali, 667-0968. $ Coconut Grove - Steak, seafood and other island favorites. Next to Lahaina Cannery Mall. Open 5:30-9 p.m. 1312 Front Street, Lahaina, 661-5648.

Compadres Bar & Grill - Western cooking with a Mexican accent. Oceanview dining and Margarita bar.

Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189. $ Cool Cat Cafe - ‘50s-style diner with lanai. Delicious burgers and sandwiches, huge salads and fountain desserts. Lahaina Wharf Center, 667-0908. $ K David Paul’s Lahaina Grill - Fine Pacific Rim cuisine in the intimate dining room on the ground floor of the Lahaina Inn. 127 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 667–5117. $$$ K Dollie’s Pub & Cafe - Pizza, sandwiches, salads and full bar. Open daily 11 a.m. to midnight. 4310 L. Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana Manor Shops, 669-0266. $ Erik’s Seafood & Sushi - Fresh seafood and sushi—great steamers! Open nightly with live entertainment. Half off Sushi Sundays. 843 Wainee St., Lahaina, 662-8780. $$ Feast At Lele - A royal tour of the cuisine of Polynesian sharing the spotlight with music and dance from four Pacific islands. 505 Front Street, Lahaina, 667-5353. $$$ Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie Maui’s own restaurant brewery, with rotisserie grill, featuring steak, seafood and ambience. Also, latenight menu served until 1:30 a.m.! 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana, 669-3474. $$ Gaby’s Pizzeria - Casual Italian dining with pizza and pasta from $6-$25. Open 11 a.m. to 12 a.m. daily.

505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8112. $ Gazebo Restaurant - Full breakfast and lunch menu, casual atmosphere and beautiful oceanside setting. 5315 Lower Honoapiilani Rd, Napili, 669-5621. $ Gerard’s - Fine French dining in downtown Lahaina.

Rich, ­flavorful yet light foods await your taste buds.

174 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 661–8939. $$$ Giovani’s Tomato Pie Ristorante - Fine Italian dining located. Open for dinner. 2291 Kaanapali Prkwy, 661-3160. $$ Hard Rock Cafe - Good American food at decent prices amongst rock ‘n roll memorabilia. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667–7400. $ Hawaiian Village Coffee - Old-Hawaiian styled coffeehouse with pastries, smoothies, salads and sandwiches, quiche Open 5:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. daily.

4405 Honoapiilani Hwy. Kahana Gateway Shopping Center, 665-1114. $ Hecocks - Italian restaurant and cocktail lounge oceanside. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8810. $$ K House of Saimin - Ono homemade saimin, chicken sticks, and Haupia pie are just some of the local favorites here. Old Lahaina Center, 667–7572. $

505 Front St • Lahaina

Hula Grill - Barefoot bar and beachside dining, 1940s style. Menu is a seafood lovers delight. Whaler’s Village, Kaanapali, 667–6636. $$ i`o - Pacific Rim cuisine among awesome sunset

Dininglistings views, and indoor or outdoor dining. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661–8422. $$$ Island Tacos - The best soft shell taco’s ever.

Choice of beef, fish, pork or chicken. Served with black beans, fresh cabbage, cheese. onions and jalapenos. Open Late night. 744 Luakini St. Lahaina $ Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Coffee bar and cafe with great food, eclectic atmosphere, lounge ambience. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787. $ Jonny’s Burger Joint - Great burgers, as well as Mexican food, salads and fried items, served until midnight, with bar and pool table.

2395 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kaanapali, 661-4500. $ Kahuna Kabob - Healthy food, low prices!

Soups, brown rice, veggies and kabobs And they deliver. Lahaina Marketplace, 661–9999. $ K Kimo’s - Fresh fish, prime rib, and their famous Hula Pie, oceanside dining. Live entertainment daily. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661–4811. $$ Kobe - Japanese Steak House and Oku’s Sushi Bar, featuring teppanyaki cooking and fabulous sushi. Dinner nightly from 5:30-10 p.m., Sushi 5:30-11:30 p.m. 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 667-5555. $$ Lahaina Coolers - Off the beaten path surf bistro. Good food, good quality, late night menu.

80 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661–7082. $ Lahaina Fish Co. - Chef’s signature Pacific Rim specialties prepared with fresh island fish.

Dine on the oceanside lanai. 831 Front St., Lahaina, 661–3472. $$ Leilani’s On The Beach - Relaxed beachfront dining, specializing in fresh seafood and Pacific Rim cuisine. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-4495. $$ Longhi’s - Elegant fine dining, freshest ingredients, pasta, seafood and steaks. 888 Front St., Lahaina, 667–2288. $$$ Ma La - Ocean front dinning Organic whole grains cusine, from clams, lobster soup, to chicken tikka, beet & goat cheese salads.Full bar 1307 Front Street, Lahaina, 667-9394. $$ Mama’s Ribs & Rotisserie - Serving ribs and roasted chicken, BBQ baked beans, coleslaw and macaroni salad. Napili Plaza, 665–6262. $ Mango Cafe - Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. American cusine, along with some local favorites. Full bar Nightly specials. 7:30 am - 10 pm. 2290 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-1929. $$ K Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with char-grilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, lime juices and spices from the Islands. 840 Wainee Street 661-8883 Lahaina (and Napili). $ Moose McGillycuddy’s - Great value, large ­portions, all you can eat specials, merry ­atmosphere and a large bar. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667–7758. $ Mr. Sub Sandwiches - Speciality sandwiches made to order, with salads and homemade soups. 129 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-5683. $ Nachos Grande - Fresh Mexican food, fast.

Vegetarian, too. Honokowai Marketplace, 662– 0890. $ Nalu Sunset Bar & Sushi - Sushi rolls, sashimi, various Japanese appetizer, sandwiches and more. Maui Marriott, Kaanapali, 667–1200 ext. 51. $$ Okazuya Deli - Quality Japanese plate lunch.

The best lemon caper mahi mahi and Okinawan potato tempura ever! Open 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. and 4:30 to 9 p.m. 3600 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Honokowai, 665-0512. $ Ono’s Surf Bar & Grill - Casual poolside dining. Now featuring reasonably priced tapas-Hawiian style menu.for supper and late night dining. 6:30 am-10pm.The Westin Maui, Ka’anapali, 667-2525. $ Outback Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimp-on-the-barbie, and the Bloomin’ Onion in a casual and lively atmosphere. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kahana, 665-1822. $$

News

Cover story

surf

Mark Ellman’s Newest Restaurant

Pho Saigon 808 - Vietnamese cuisine, Saigon steaks, vegetarian delight. Open 7 days a week. 658 Front St., Wharf Cinema Center, 661-6628. $ Pioneer Inn - Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily, with live entertainment nightly. 659 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636. $ Pad Thai - Delicious Påd Thai, among many other items. Open daily. 658 Front St., Lahaina, $ Pizza Paradiso - Award-winning pasta dishes, toss-to-order salads, big fat Greek gyros, homemade tiramisu and panna cotta. Honokowai Marketplace, 667-2929; $ Plantation House Restaurant - HawaiianMediterranean cuisine. Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily. 2000 Plantation Club Dr., Kapalua, 669-6299. $ Reilley’s - Known for their choice award-winning beef. Gourmet steaks and seafood. Open at 5:30 pm 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Ste #304 Kahana, 667-7477 $$$ Roy’s Bar & Grill - This fine dinning restaurant has mouth-watering Hawaiian fusion entrees in a spacious upbeat atmosphere. Open nightly from 5:30p.m.10p.m.4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy. Kahana 669-6999. $$$ Rusty Harpoon Restaurant and Tavern Quench thirst, satiate hunger and watch sports.

Large parties welcome. Whalers Village, Kaanapali, 661–3123. $$ Ruth’s Chris Steak House - USDA prime steak and fine wines. Dinner served nightly. 5 p.m. - 10 p.m.

900 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8815. $$$ Sansei Seafood Restaurant and Sushi Bar D.K. Kodama has combined the highest quality sushi bar infused with Hawaii’s cultural flavors. 115 Bay Drive, Kapalua, 669–6286. $$ K Sea House Restaurant - Looking out over incredible Napili Bay, dining is an amazing experience here under the direction of Chef Michael Gallagher. 5900 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Hwy., Napili, 669–1500. $$ Smoke House - Delicious barbeque, ribs, chicken, sandwiches and hamburgers along with a full bar.

Open 11:30 a.m. - 10 p.m. 927 Wainee St. Lahaina, 667-7005. $ Spats Trattoria - Step into old Northern Italy.

Tables are private and the Antipasto serves two. Hyatt Regency, Kaanapali, 667–4727. $$$ Sports Club Kahana Grill - Upscale, healthy restaurant inside Sports Club Kahana. Breakfast, lunch and take-out. 4327 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Rd., Kahana, 669-3538. $$ Sunrise Cafe - Casual and cozy outdoor lanai, serving American food from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. daily. 693 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8558. $

Waterfront Lanai Dining

py Hour p a H Try many small portions that are designed to share F

Tapas Menu

Serving ‘til 11pm Fridays & Saturdays

3-5pm M-

Full Bar

Martini’s, Fine Champagnes & Wines

Swan Court - One of the top 10 romantic ­restaurants in the world, with an extensive list of contemporary fine wines. Hyatt Regency, Kaanapali, 667–4727. $$$ Take Sushi - Open late night for late night sushi lovers. Full menu and daily special. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4051. $ Terrace Restaurant - Open from 6:30-11 a.m. serving breakfast only. Elegant dining, buffet-style rotating menu ranging from “Breakfast on the Farm” to “Hawaiian Plantation-Style Breakfast.” Ritz Carlton, Kapalua, 669-6200. $$$ Thai Chef - Thai food like you’ve never had it, with curry, Pad Thai, summer rolls and more. Old Lahaina Center, 667–2814. $ Tropica - Oceanfront dining on Ka’anapali Beach, features sizzling steaks, fresh fish, prepared in variety of styles. Specialty entrees, appetizers and deserts.

5:30-9:30pm. Westin, Kaanapali, 667–2525. $$ Vino - Comfort and contemporary cuisine featuring fresh pasta and an extensive wine list. Open for dinner nightly from 5:30 p.m. Village Course Clubhouse, Kapalua, 661-8466. $$$ Vinny’s Pizza - Authentic New York style pizza, calzones and heros. Open 7 Days. Delivery 11 a.m.

- 10 p.m. 840 Wainee St. Lahaina Square, Lahaina.

661-6773.$

1307 FRONT STREET

FOR RESERVATIONS CALL 667-9394

Pacific’O - Elegant oceanfront award-winning contemporary Pacific cuisine. Live jazz on week-

Letters

Now Open!

ends. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4341. $$$ Penne Pasta - Mark Ellman’s inexpensive Italian bistro with homestyle pasta, pizza and salad. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661–6633. $

dining

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Maui Time Weekly

DECEMBER 23, 2004

19

Maui Music Exchange Presents An Evening with

Michael Franti of SPEARHEAD

2 BIG SHOWS: Saturday January 1st Casanova Upcountry Makawao Doors 9pm show 10pm Tickets $22 advance

Friday January 7th Hapas Nightclub Kihei Doors 8pm show 10pm Tickets $20 advance Franti performs solo acoustic & spoken word in these rare intimate club appearances on Maui to start 2005!

Get yours early!

Maui Ticket Outlets: Paia Wine Corner, Requests Wailuku/Lahaina, Groove 2 Music Lahaina Cannery Mall, Hapas Nightclub (879-9001) OR WWW.HULATICKETS.COM

SOME TICKETS WILL BE AVAILABLE AT THE DOOR FOR BOTH CLUB SHOWS

LIVE MUSIC ALL NIGHT!

Erik Pietsch ‘The Whale Shark’ 9pm-11pm The Howard Ahia Band 11pm-1am

No Cover Serving Lunch & Dinner 7 Days A Week

Located on Front Street in Lahaina Overlooking the Banyan Tree

The Wharf Cinema Center 667-0908 20

DECEMBER 23, 2004

DA KINE CALENDAR

Merry Christmas...Eve! Friday night, island-wide [HOLIDAY] Putting the “mele” back in “Mele Kalikimaka,” clubs all over Maui are getting into the spirit with huge DJ-packed nights on Christmas Eve. Check the Grid and DaKine Calendar on page 29 for a complete listing of events...

Forget the chestnuts roasting, honey, and throw some tinsel on yourself as you head out the door to the Love & Light Christmas Party at Hapa’s. They’re featuring no less than FIVE DJs and PRESENTS to the first 50 red ‘n white wearin’ revelers.

Forget the yuletide carols and grab some mistletoe as you joing the folks of Space Ibiza at Casanova’s. DJs Ray Masters, Rainbow and Fernando Bottero will be there providing their own anti-caroling House and Techno music.

Tell that nose-nipping Jack Frost to back off so you can rock out to Vince Esquire at the SandBar. He’s only back on the island for a short time and the SandBar has a new menu of yummies served up until midnight! Save some eggnog for the morning and hey, have yourself a merry little Christmas, y’all. [SAMANTHA CAMPOS]

SEND YOUR LISTINGS & PHOTOS FOR DA KINE CALENDAR TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM OR FAX (808) 661-0446 LETTERS

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 23, 2004

21

ThIS WEEK’S PICKS

by Samantha Campos

Motorcycle Diaries Sunday, 7:30 p.m. at the MACC

Blood Drive Thursday, 8:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. at the Cameron Center, Wailuku [HEALTH] I know the holidays take a lot out of you, what with the eating, the shopping, the consumption of dubious “eggnog” mixers at holiday office parties. But at least you’ve still got something valuable left. And there’s plenty of needy folk who could really use some more of it. That’s right—your blood. So how ‘bout it, hunh? Just one pint of your juicy red goodness could save up to three lives! Call 1800-372-9966 for more info.

THURSDAY

22

DECEMBER 23, 2004

[FILM] Loosely based on Ernesto Guevara’s autobiographical book of the same name, this film tells the story two young Argentines who ride an ancient Norton 500 bike 8,000 miles throughout 1952 South America. The Guevara of the movie is just 23, not yet the revolutionary “Che” who found so much success in Cuba bringing Fidel Castro to power. That insurgent, who failed so miserably at radicalizing the rest of the Americas in the 1960s and ultimately got killed in Bolivia trying to inflame Indians, is a few years off from this mostly adventure story. Even if the film isn’t absolutely authentic—people who try to get their history from motion pictures are a sorry bunch—the adventure is worth admission. [ANTHONY PIGNATARO]

➤➤➤➤➤FRIDAY ➤➤➤➤➤SATURDAY ➤➤➤➤➤SUN

DA KINE CALENDAR

Maui Nui Revealed

Pepper Wednesday, 6:30 p.m. at the Lahaina Civic

Tuesday, 7 p.m. at Kalama 103 in Maui Community College

[MUSIC] The guys in Pepper might be a little sick of being compared to Sublime, and rightly so. They’ve earned the chops to at least be praised on the merit of their outrageously fun shows and seriously tight reggae/punk/rock, Big Island-style jams. If you haven’t seen them live yet, now’s your chance. Westsiders, you have no excuse. And it’s outside under the stars, with that unbeatable Hawaiian breeze to cool the sweat off your fist-raised, moshing/dancing, smiling, nodding, happy little self!

With Maui’s own Gomega and Absence of Void opening. Tickets are $17.50 in advance—get ‘em at Maui Tacos, Request Music, Groove 2 Music, Hapa’s or charge by phone at 877-750-4400.

[LECTURE] Once, a really, really, really long time ago, before cars or fax machines or even sliced bread, the islands of Maui, Molokai, Lanai and Kaho’olawe used to be one island called Maui Nui. I’ve always why we call that island Maui Nui, since no one at the time called it that, mostly because there was no one here at the time. Well, no one that we know of… Anyway, this is a chance to here Smithsonian’s Jonathan Price talk about the geology and biology of that old superisland and why things are rather different today. For more information, call 249-2798.

[ANTHONY PIGNATARO]

DAY

➤➤➤➤➤MONDAY ➤➤➤➤➤TUESDAY ➤➤➤➤➤WEDNESDAY

IN

THE

H EART

OF

O LDE M AKAWAO T OWN

Wild Wahine Wednesday with dj blast

C ASANOVA ’ S F AMOUS L ADIES N IGHT !

T E T E C T A HE

VENING

HAT

ARNED

ASANOVA

HE

“ B E S T L AT E N IGHT I N M A U I ”

WA R D

MUSIC STARTS @ 9:45PM • $5 COVER

R 23RD THUR, DECEMBE

TH

FRI, DECEMBER 24

YS E HOLIDWIA OM FORTRATH TH RTY PA E NCE DANC MANTRA RA SHANj KAgA ni - dj Ged - Vadra

E TEIBRSIZ(EA SPAY CMAS ng)

TH SAT, DECEMBER 25

DJ RA DJ RAINBOW (USA) O DJ FERNANDO BOTTERmulations

David Backstrom - Ra er Morgan and Heath

Trans Techno Sti Progressive House and

@ 10:00PM MUSIC STARTSCO VER $10 .00

9:45PM MUSIC STARTS @ $8.00 COVER

VINCANED HIESSBAQNDUIRE

TMAS MSHOW THE CHSICRIS STARTS @ 9:45P MU

$8.00 COVER

Make it a Memorable Evening • Dine and Dance at Casanova For dinner reservations call 572–0220 • Log on at casanovamaui.com LETTERS

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 23, 2004

23

FILMCRITIQUE

BY COLE SMITHEY

The Worst and Best of 2004 Shyamalan pretends to emulate.

This has been an excellent year for movies. Capturing The Friedmans, Supersize Me, Control Room and Fahrenheit 9/11 were energized documentaries that helped give the form equal footing alongside narrative features. It was also the year of the biopic with films about the lives of Ray Charles, Bobby Darin, Howard Hughes and Alfred Kinsey, paying grateful homage to their subjects.

Sports related films enjoyed a resurgence with two highly accomplished movies Miracle and Friday Night Lights.

Between the most over- and underrated films of 2004 were some sensational achievements (The Motorcycle Diaries) and some embarrassing dogs (Open Water).

Here are the 10 films that I believe set the art form back the farthest, and the 10 that helped to refine it the most.

6. She Hate Me Spike Lee’s affectation as an agent provocateur has disintegrated since he barnstormed cinema with his best film Do The Right Thing.

She Hate Me is just as tongue-tied as its ridiculous title.

5. The Terminal I cannot think of a bigger waste of time.

4. Jersey Girl Ben Affleck hits an all-time IQ low when he wipes his baby daughter’s dirty bum from back to front. I blame Kevin Smith.

3. Spongebob Square Pants Anyone familiar with the joke about the difference between pink and purple (it’s the grip) will notice the relentless phallic references that regularly intersperse this despicable “children’s” movie.

THE WORST: 10. Coffee & Cigarettes Cate Blanchett, Iggy Pop, Steve Coogan and Alfred Molina save Jim Jarmusch’s moronic movie from complete insensibleness.

2. Dogville Lars von Trier’s filmed stage play is not even a movie.

9. New York Minute They don’t make teen girl movies any dumber than this double dog-and-pony show.

1. The Passion Mel Gibson’s crappy exploitation movie does a disservice to “the greatest story ever told” by reducing that illustrious narrative to an extended torture episode. Special thanks to Matt Stone and Trey Parker for handing Mel Gibson his ass with their equally offensive “The Passion Of The Jew” episode of South Park.

8. Napoleon Dynamite Offbeat, dim-witted boner comedy is a boring half-movie that’s mean spirited and pointless.

THE BEST:

©HFPA

7. The Village M. Night Shyamalan does not deserve to utter Alfred Hitchcock’s hallowed name, as the master of suspense

10. Spider-Man 2 Sam Raimi sets the bar for the action hero movie genre.

GOLDEN GLOBE® AWARD NOMINEE

9. Ray Jamie Foxx’s career will be forever changed after his uncanny and impassioned performance as Ray Charles in director Taylor Hackford’s dynamic biopic.

8. Riding Giants Stacy Peralta’s up close and personal tour of the surf legends who reinvented the mysterious sport of big wave surfing over the past 60 years is pure cinematic joy.

7. Kinsey Writer/director Bill Condon’s candid look into the complex life of sex researcher Alfred Kinsey promises to renew public discourse about how we view sexuality and dignity.

6. Touching The Void The docudrama genre has never been as well utilized as it is in director Kevin Macdonald’s rendering of this stunning true story of two young British mountain climbers’ near death experience climbing the 21,000 foot Siula Grande in the Peruvian Andes in 1985.

5. Hotel Rwanda Writer/director Terry George breathes considerable air into a potentially suffocating story about genocide. Don Cheadle gives the best performance of his career as authentic real-life hero Paul Rusesabagina.

4. Team America: World Police Geniuses of satire Matt Stone and Trey Parker pull no punches and take no prisoners in this all-out adult parody. The movie is a religious experience in satire.

3. A Very Long Engagement

Passion of the Crap Audrey Tautou is a French woman intent on tracking down her fiancé after his disappearance during World War I in Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s fiercely anti-war movie wrapped in an epic love story.

2. Kill Bill Vol. 2 With his signature use of impeccably hip music, Tarantino delivers a tasty movie made up of choice references to grindhouse film genres.

1. The Aviator Martin Scorsese finally delivers the movie that lives up to his promise as a master of his craft.

Honorable mention goes to Zhang Yimou for his stunningly beautiful Hero and House Of Flying Daggers, Alexander Payne’s highly original film Sideways, Brad Anderson’s thoughtful horror film The Machinist, and to Tod Williams’ pitch-perfect John Irving adaptation The Door In The Floor. MTW

A Tom Moffat Production

BES T FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

“THE BEST PICTURE OF THE YEAR!” -Jami Bernard, NEW YORK DAILY NEWS

LOS ANGELES FILM CRITICS ASSOCIATION WINNER • BEST FOREIGN FILM “‘HERO’ WAS JUST A WARMUP FOR THIS MARTIAL ARTS FIREBALL! PREPARE YOUR EYES FOR POPPING!” -Peter Travers, ROLLING STONE

HOUSE OFA Zhang FLYING DAGGERS Yimou Film EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT

NOW PLAYING! W MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX WALLACE

View the trailer at www.houseofflyingdaggersmovie.com AMPAS MEMBERS AND A GUEST ARE WELCOME.

24

DECEMBER 23, 2004

FILM

CHECK THEATRE DIRECTORIES OR CALL FOR SHOWTIMES

In a Maui Wowie Holiday Comedy Concert!

T WEDNHIS DECEM ESDAY BER 29T H 7:30PM

Castle Theater For tickets visit the MACC Box Office or call 242-SHOW

SHOWTIMES

MOVIECAPSULES

FIRST LIGHT FILM FESTIVAL

New This Week

Castle Theater, 572-3456

DARKNESS – (R) – Horror/Suspense – This is the story of a little girl, played by darling Anna Paquin, who moves into a new house with her family, only to find that it holds a dark, terrible secret that could kill them all. Oh my God, I’ve never seen a movie like that before! What’s next, the story of a guy who runs around at night drinking people’s blood?

See page 26 for showtimes

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX

FAT ALBERT – (PG) – Comedy, Family – The latest in a series of live-action films patterned after cartoons that I grew up watching. No, it’s cool.

Really, I don’t care. If Hollywood is totally bankrupt of ideas and is just recycling stuff that we all know and have seen, that’s there business. I mean, just because I write scripts that come back unopened, that doesn’t mean I’m bitter or anything.

MEET THE FOCKERS – (PG13) – Having given permission to male nurse Greg Focker (Ben Stiller) to wed his daughter, ex-CIA man Jack Byrnes (Robert De Niro) and his wife (Blythe Danner) travel to Detroit to "meet the parents,” who this time around are Mr. and Mrs. Focker (Dustin Hoffman and Barbara Streisand), who are as different from them as can be.

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA – (PG13) – Drama, Musical, Suspense – It’s the classic tale about a mysterious masked figure who roams the undergrounds of 19th century Paris, especially lurking around (or under—naughty!) the Opera Populaire, where he tutors a beautiful young soprano.

Now Showing AFTER THE SUNSET – (PG13) – Romance, Crime – Pierce Brosnan plays—what else—a master thief who’s pulled his last score and retired to an island paradise. But wait! There’s still one lasst jewel he hasn’t yet swiped! But then his FBI agent nemesis shows up to make sure he’s out of the stealing business! It all sounds like your standard heist picture routine, but Salma Hayek’s in it, so that makes it a must-see.

THE AVIATOR – (PG13)- Drama – This is Martin Scorsese’s 168-minute epic on Howard Hughes that for some reason stops before the billionaire’s final Vegas years when he became renowned for living in secret while wearing tissue boxes on his feet and growing out his hair and fingernails to absurd lengths, all while keeping jars of his own urine close by. Stars Leonardo di Caprio as the nutty flyer/film maker and No Doubt’s Gwen Stefani as Jean Harlow. Fabulous!

BLADE: TRINITY – (R) – Action/Adventure, Suspense/Horror – The third and quite possibly— we’re hoping—the last in Wesley Snipe’s ultra-hip

Darkness vampire series. In this adventure, half-vampire Blade (Snipes) is pursued by the FBI, teams up with a bunch of vampire hunters and goes after Dracula, who I think is the original vampire or something like that. Also stars Kris Kristofferson, Jessica Biel and Parker Posey, of all people.

near the end of China’s Tang Dynasty, which was, well, a while ago. Anyway, two cops arrest this hot dancer who has underworld ties, then decide that she’s too hot to bring downtown so they escape with her on some kind of perilous journey. Cool.

CLOSER – (R) – Drama/Comedy – Another of Jude Law’s many, many 2004 pictures. This one teams him and three others in a story of four strangers who have chance encounters and overlapping attractions.

Sounds hilarious. Also stars Julia Roberts, Natalie Portman and Clive Owen.

THE INCREDIBLES – (PG) – Animation, Action, Comedy – A family of former superheroes comes out of retirement to don masks and capes and brightly colored tights so they can, once again, fight evil and save lives. If only all family reunions could be so benevolent! Voices by Craig T Nelson, Samuel Jackson and Holly Hunter.

FINDING NEVERLAND – (PG13) – Drama – Johnny Depp plays J. M. Barrie, the guy who wrote Peter Pan in this London, 1904 story. You remember Peter Pan, right? Sandy Duncan played him on Broadway. Also stars Kate Winslet and Dustin Hoffman FLIGHT OF THE PHOENIX – (PG13) – Action/Adventure – This ridiculous remake of a ridiculous 1965 Jimmy Stewart picture stars Dennis Quaid as the pilot of a rickety old cargo plane that crashes in the Gobi Desert with a cargo hold full of people dumb enough to fly in a rickety old cargo plane across the Gobi Desert. Also stars a bunch of actors who should have known better.

HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS – (PG13) – Action/Adventure/Foreign – This movie takes place

LEMONY SNICKET’S: A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS (PG13) – Comedy/Family – It says “comedy,” but it stars Jim Carrey, so how funny can it be? This is the story of three little orphans who end up living with a bunch of odd relatives, including a schmo named Lemony Snicket and some dastardly fellow named Count Olaf, played by Carrey.

NATIONAL TREASURE – (PG) – Action/Adventure – Nicholas Cage and Diane Kruger star in this quest to find some incredible treasure hidden by our nation’s founding fathers, who were nice enough to plant clues on the back of $1 bills. Sean Bean, as usual, plays a “ruthless adversary” in their search to unlock the secret to what the movie calls a 2,000-year-old mystery. Sounds great—wait, 2,000? Um, isn’t the country just—wait, let me get my calculator—228 years old?

So it’s a 228-year-old mystery, right? Well, that doesn’t sound like such a big deal.

OCEAN’S TWELVE – (PG13) – Action, Adventure, Romance, Thriller, Crime – This is the heist caper that out-heists the previous heist caper Ocean’s Eleven, which in itself was a remake of the horrendously awful Rat Pack-starring Ocean’s 11. This time around, the band of cons and thieves gets together again to rip off someone really rich in Europe to pay off the Vegas casino guy they ripped off in the first movie. Stars George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts and all the rest.

THE POLAR EXPRESS – (G) – Family, Animated – A boy struggles to believe in Santa Claus as all his friends and schoolyard chums make fun of him for being so gullible. Stupid chums. But then a giant steam train pulls up to his house to take him to the North Pole. Oh my God, it’s a ghost train! Run and hide! Oh wait, it’s just the 5:15 in from Baltimore. Late as usual…

SPANGLISH – (PG13) – Comedy – This James L. Brooks vehicle stars Paz Vega as a beautiful Mexican woman who moves in with an affluent whitebread American family headed by crown prince of evil Adam Sandler. Gold! Also stars Tea Leoni and Cloris Leachman.

THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MOVIE – (PG) – Family/Animation – The inevitable movie version of the popular Nickelodeon cartoon of the same name, this ostensible kids’ movie about a talking sponge and his starfish buddy who work in a hamburger joint has a surprising amount of thinly-veiled homoerotic humor. They call their world Bikini Bottom, people! Do I have to spell it out for you? Also stars David Hasselhoff as himself.

Meet the Fockers

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

Maui Mall, 249–2222 (Showtimes) = Matinee Blade 3 - R - Th (11:15, 11:45, 1:50, 2:20, 4:25, 4:55), 7:05, 7:30, 9:35, 10, Fr (11:15, 11:45, 1:50, 2:20, 4:25, 4:55), 7:05, 7:30, Sa-Su (11:45, 2:20), 4:55, 7:30, 10, M-W (11:45, 2:20, 4:55), 7:30, 10 Closer - R - Th, M-W (11:50, 2:15, 4:40), 7:10, 9:40, Fr (11:50, 2:15, 4:40), 7:10, Sa-Su 11:50, 2:15, 4:40), 7:10, 9:40 Darkness - R - Sa-Su (11:15, 1:40), 4:10, 7:05, 9:30, M-W (11:15, 1:40, 4:10), 7:05, 9:30 Finding Neverland - PG - Th, M-W (11:15, 1:45, 4:15), 6:50, 9:45, Fr (11:15, 1:45, 4:15), 6:50, Sa-Su (11:15, 1:45), 4:15, 6:50, 9:45 Flight of the Phoenix - PG13 - Th, M-W (11:20, 2, 4:30), 7:15, 9:45 Fr (11:20, 2, 4:30), 7:15, Sa-Su (11:20, 2), 4:30, 7:15, 9:45 House of Flying Daggers - PG13 - Th, M-W (11:05, 1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 9:55, Fr (11:05, 1:45, 4:30), 7:15, Sa-Su (11:05, 1:45) 4:30, 7:15, 9:55 The Incredibles - PG - Th-Fr, M-W (11:25, 2:05, 4:45), Sa-Su (11:25, 2:05), 4:45 Lemony Snicket’s - PG - Th, M-W (11, 12, 1:30, 2:30, 4, 5), 7, 7:30, 9:30, 10, Fr, (11, 12, 1:30, 2:30, 4, 5), 7, 7:30, Sa-Su (11, 12, 1:30, 2:30), 4, 5, 7, 7:30, 9:30, 10 Ocean’s Twelve - PG13 - Th, M-W (11:10, 2, 4:45), 7:20, 7:45, 10, Fr (11:10, 2, 4:45), 7:20, Sa-Su (11:10, 2), 4:45, 7:20, 7:45, 10 Phantom of the Opera - PG13 - Th, M-W (11, 1, 2, 4, 5), 7, 8, 10, Fr (11, 1, 2, 4, 5), 7, Sa-Su (11, 1, 2), 4, 5, 7, 8, 10

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 875-4910 After the Sunset - PG13 - Th-Fr (12:35, 2:50), 5:05, 7:20, 9:45 Aviator - PG13 - Daily (12:45), 4:05, 7:35 Fat Albert - PG - Sa-W (12:45, 3), 5:15, 7:30, 9:45 Meet The Fockers - PG13 - Daily (12:30,1:15, 3), 4:45, 5:30, 7:20, 8, 10 National Treasure - PG - Th, M-W (1), 4:15, 7:05, 9:45, Fr (1), 4:15, 7:05 Polar Express - G - Th only (12:30, 2:45), 5, 7:15, 9:30 Spanglish - PG13 - Th (1), 4:15, 7:10, 10, Fr (1), 4:15, 7:10, Sa-W (1), 4:15, 7:10, 10 SpongeBob - PG - Th only (1, 3:30), 5:30, 7:30, 9:35

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 [Sun-Wed schedule not available at press time] Flight of the Phoenix - PG13 - Th-Fr (1:15), 4:30, 7:15, Sa (1:15), 4:30, 7:15, 9:40 Lemony Snicket’s - PG - Th-Fr(1:45), 5, 7:45, Sa (1:45,), 5, 7:45, 10 Meet The Fockers - (PG) - Th-Fr (1:30), 4:45, 7:30, Sa (1:30), 4:45, 7:30, 9:50 Spanglish - PG13 - Th-Fr (1), 4:15, 7, Sa ( 1), 4:15, 7, 9:40

FRONT STREET THEATERS 900 Front Street, 249–2222 Aviator - PG13- Sa-W (12:30), 3:30, 7, 10:15 Incredibles - PG - Th only (4:15), 7:15, 9:45 Flight of the Phoenix - PG13 - Th(1:30, 4:30), 7:30, 10, Fr (1:30, 4:30), 7:30, Sa-W (1:30, 4:30), 7:30, 9:55 Lemony Snicket’s - PG - Th, M-W (1:15, 4:15), 7:15, 9:45, Fr (1:15, 4:15), 7:15, Sa--Su (1:15), 4:15, 7:15, 9:45 Ocean’s Twelve - PG13 - Th (1, 4), 7, 9:45, Fr (1, 4), 7, Sa-Su (1), 4, 7, 9:40, M-W (1, 4), 7, 9:40 Polar Express - G - Th (1:45, 4:45), 7:30, 9:55, Fr (1:45, 4:45), 7:30

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249–2222 Fat Albert - PG - Fr, M-W (11, 1:30, 4:15), 7:15, 9:30, Sa-Su (11, 1:30), 4:15, 7:15, 9:30 National Treasure - R - Th (1:15, 4:15), 7:30, 10:10, Fr (1:15, 4:15), 7:30 Meet the Fockers - PG13- Th (11:30, 2, 4:45), 7, 9:45, Fr (11:30, 2, 4:45), 7, Sa-Su (11:15, 2), 4:45, 7, 9:45, M-W (11:15, 2, 4:45), 7, 9:45 Spanglish - PG13 - Th (1:15, 4:15), 7:30, 10:10, Fr (11:30, 2, 4:45), Sa-Su (1), 4, 7:30, 10:15

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 23, 2004

25

FILMFESTIVAL presents

“A ROARING GOOD TIME!”

First Light

London love quadrangle from director Mike Nichols. Rated R. 98 min. (Sony)

Academy screenings on Maui

Tues, Dec. 28

Maui Film Festival First Light screenings will run through Jan. 2.

Many of these films will be showing here in advance of Hawaii or even nationwide openings. The screenings also include a showing for every worthy Academy Awards contender. All screenings will take place at the Maui Arts and Cultural Center. Tickets are $10 per film or $5 for children under 12. A four-film “VIP FastPass” is available for $40. For more information, check out www.mauifilmfestival.com.

-San Francisico Chronicle

Sun, Dec. 26 2 p.m.

ALEXANDER Academy Award-winner Oliver Stone directs Colin Farrell, Anthony Hopkins, Rosario Dawson, Angelina Jolie and Val Kilmer in this wide-screen epic on the triumphs and tragedies of Alexander the Great who led armies of Greeks and Macedonians and built an ancient empire spanning 90 percent of the known world. Rated R. 165 min.

(Warner Bros.)

man’s life becomes more interesting when he enlists rival existential detectives to help make sense of it. Rated R. 100 min. (Fox Searchlight)

5 p.m.

WE DON’T LIVE HERE ANYMORE Mark Ruffalo, Laura Dern, Peter Krause and Naomi Watts star as two couples who must sift through layers of betrayal, the messy excitement of imperfect passion and self-deception when they face their marriages, each other, and ultimately themselves in this delicate and absorbing adult drama. Rated R. 101 min.

(Warner Independent)

7:30 p.m.

BEYOND THE SEA Academy Award-winner Kevin Spacey, who does all his own singing and dancing in this film, also directs and co-stars with Kate Bosworth, John Goodman, Bob Hoskins, Brenda Blethyn and Greta Scacchi in this biopic on the life of the legendary singer Bobby Darin. Rated PG-13. 118 min. (Lions Gate)

9:30 p.m.

CLOSER Two couples—Natalie Portman and Jude Law, Clive Owen and Julia Roberts—come apart when infidelity raises its hoary head in this story of the revolving sexual relationships in a star-crossed

2 p.m.

KONTROLL This thriller, Hungary’s submission for an Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film, is the tale of the strange, dangerous, quirky and comical characters that inhabit the world of Budapest’s subways. A nominee for European Film Award Best Director. In Hungarian with English subtitles. Rated R. 106 min. (THINKFilm)

5 p.m.

VERA DRAKE Nominated for a European Film Award for Best Picture, this drama is an extraordinary portrait of a selfless woman who is completely devoted to, and loved by, her working class family. But she also has a secret life helping women induce miscarriages for unwanted pregnancies. Featuring a bravura performance by Imelda Staunton. Rated R. 125 min. (Fine Line)

7:30 p.m.

MILLION DOLLAR BABY Academy Award-winner and Maui Film Festival Silversword-honoree Clint Eastwood directs and co-stars alongside Academy Award-winner Hillary Swank and Academy Award-nominee Morgan Freeman in this tale of a retired prizefighter who reluctantly agrees to coach a determined female boxer. Rated PG-13. 137 min.

(Warner Bros.)

5 p.m.

SPANGLISH Adam Sandler, Tea Leoni and Paz Vega star in the newest heartwarming dramedy from Academy Award-winning director James L. Brooks. It explores a forbidden romance between the recently named “best chef in America” and the beautiful Latina woman his hypercritical wife hires to work in their Bel Air home. Not yet rated. 132 min. (Sony)

PHOTO © OLEG MICHEYEV

7:30 p.m.

THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES The Motorcycle Diaries is a gorgeous, poetic and soulful epic road movie shot in Machu Picchu and other spectacularly beautiful spots in South America. It provides a glimpse into the 8,000 mile journey of a young Che Guevara, played by Gael Garcia Bernal. Directed by Walter Salles. In Spanish with English subtitles. Rated R. 127 min.

(Focus Features)

Mon, Dec. 27 stomponline.com Thursday - Saturday JANUARY

6-8

Castle theater, 7:30pm • tickets $10-$55

call 26

242-SHOW (7469) DECEMBER 23, 2004

FILM

2 p.m.

I HEART HUCKABEES Jason Schwartzman, Dustin Hoffman, Isabelle Huppert, Jude Law, Lily Tomlin, Mark Wahlberg and Naomi Watts make up the ensemble cast in this tale of how a

We Don’t Live Here Anymore

PUREVOLUME

SANTA’S TOP FIVE

Various Artists

FirstLight 2004-’05 FirstLight 2004-’05 Consider Yourself Invited! ™

“CHRISTMAS REMIXED”

This album actually came out last Christmas, but it’s still the only seasonal music I can tolerate. Six Degrees has employed fine producers to remix the old standards from the 1940s and 1950s. Dan the Automator updates king of cool Dean Martin’s “Jingle Bells” with a laidback scratch attack. Johnny Mercer’s “Winter Wonderland” gets a Brazilian Beach Mix by Rise Ashen that makes the tune fitting for our tropical climate.

A killer scratch routine and break beat throw-down make the “Nutcracker Suite” much more enjoyable. “The First Noel” by Bing Crosby features a cheesy dance beat and funny vocal loops.

This is definitely the album to put on after Christmas dinner to get grandma boogieing. —Six Degrees Records 2003 [JOE GATTO]

We’re Throwin’ The Holiday Season’s Biggest Party...Again!

15 Days Long, 46 Films™Wide & One Movie High...

Academy Screenings on Maui ★ Best Films Of 2004-’05 Academy Screenings on Maui H Best Films Of 2004-’05

December 23 - January 2

FINNTROLL “NATTFODD” In the cold North, where the winter storms pound the weather-beaten coasts, lies a dark country, with black forests and moonlit lakes, deep fjords surrounded by majestic snowcapped mountains. This ancient and nearly forgotten country is the land of the trolls. Finntroll is the music of this country, using axe-grinding guitars and pulverizing bass and drums.

The wicked, blood-curdling vocals paint horrific pictures of battles long ago. The song “Eliytres” is a frightening, sinister drinking song, where the Trolls use the skulls of the conquered as cups to drink spiced eggnog and congratulate each other on a battle well fought.

Surprisingly, they also use polka beats, or in Finnish, “humppa,” and end up sounding like a metallic Oingo Boingo, or as some call it, “pagan folk metal.” Nattfold is an absolutely fun metal record that is the perfect soundtrack for the holidays and hunting those pesky Hobbits that seem to infest Middle-Earth nowadays. —Century Media Records 2004 [STEPHEN R. HART]

Plus Live Music, Flirting, Dinner, Dessert, Massage & More

The CandleLight Cafe ★ Castle Theater ★ MACC 9 of the 21 Terrific FirstLight™ Feature Films

JACKSON 5 “JACKSON 5 CHRISTMAS ALBUM” I finally got into the Christmas spirit when I ran across one of my favorite Christmas albums. The Jackson 5 Christmas Album is an amazing Motown classic that was originally released in 1970. Back then, when I got the album on vinyl, I was really excited and used to kiss Michael Jackson’s picture on the cover so much that his face turned white. Huh! Each old-time classic song has such a soulful sound, from Jermaine’s beautifully sung, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” to “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” where Michael is at his highest octave. My all-time favorite is “Give Love on Christmas Day.” It’s a more ballad-like Christmas song. Hey, this could be a new type of Christmas carol! —MCA Records 2000 [KIMBERLY L. WELCH]

THE SEA INSIDE Thursday, Dec.23, 7:30pm

ALEXANDER Sunday , Dec.26, 2:00pm

SPANGLISH Sunday , Dec.26, 5:00pm

THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES Sunday, Dec.26, 7:30pm

WE DON’T LIVE HERE ANYMORE Monday, Dec.27, 5:00pm

BEYOND THE SEA Monday, Dec.27, 7:30pm

CLOSER Monday, Dec.27, 9:30pm

VERA DRAKE Tuesday, Dec.28, 5:00pm

MILLION DOLLAR BABY Tuesday, Dec.28, 7:30pm

MILES DAVIS “RELAXIN’ WITH THE MILES DAVIS QUINTET” Is there anything more sonically painful than a poorly done Christmas song? Nothing irritates me more than going to a holiday party and listening to a hack musician’s rendition of “Silent Night.” That’s why this Christmas, you should rock some Miles Davis. Now don’t go buying or playing just any Miles Davis album. Relaxin’… is a terrific choice—or any album off of the Prestige label—for your Christmas gathering. Other suggestions to complement your Christmas shindig are: Mass quantities of those striped Hershey kisses, chain smoking and talking in a raspy voice. —Prestige Sessions/Orig. Jazz Classics 1991 [$AYFOO]

LOS STRAITJACKETS “’TIS THE SEASON FOR LOS STRAITJACKETS” I’m with “$ayfoo”(see above review)—nothing irritates me more than a classic Christmas tune re-vamped by the latest pop-king, queen or princess du jour. I, too, am more of a traditionalist when it comes to the holidays. That’s why I prefer Christmas Songs by Sinatra, Christmas with Dino (Dean Martin), A Charlie Brown Christmas or... ‘Tis the Season for Los Straitjackets. Don’t let the men in Mexican wrestling masks on the cover scare you—it’s a swingin’ vintage surf guitar take on all the classics, like “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen,” “Frosty the Snowman” and “Feliz Navidad.” The album is instrumental and it’s only 30 minutes long, so it’s impossible to get too sick of all those damn Christmas songs with this one! It’s just perfect holiday party music. —Yep Roc Records 2002 [SAMANTHA CAMPOS]

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dining

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Film

Single FirstLight Tickets - $10 ★ Available One hour before showtime at the MACC Box Office FirstLight 4-Film VIP FastPass - $40 ★ Now available at: Maui Arts & Cultural Center Box Office (242-SHOW) and Borders Books & Music (Kahului)

Complimentary Admission to most major Film Industry Guild Members including AMPAS, DGA, WGA, SAG (Nominating Committee Only), HPFA, PGA, ADG, ASC, BAFTA-LA, BAFTA-NY, CDG, MAHG, MPEG, MPSE, VES, ACE and CAS. Guild Members ONLY: RSVP to: 808.579.9553.

Sponsors: Blue Hawaiian Helicopters, Hollywood Reporter, International Mortgage LLC, Maui News, Island Style Designs, KAOI Radio Group, Mama’s Fish House Restaurant & Inn, Mana Foods, Morgan Stanley/Greg Chou, MyMauiBroker.com, SpectraColor Hawaii, Variety and Starbucks Coffee

wwww.mauifilmfestival.com w w . m a u i f i l m f e s t i v a l . c o m ★H 572.3456 572.3456 da kine calendar

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Classifieds

Maui Time Weekly

DECEMBER 23, 2004

27

Arts&Entertainment

By Samantha Campos

Comedy Brunch Talking yogurt, sushi and Spam with Howie Mandel

3 /2

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DECEMBER 23, 2004

DAY&NIGHT

So you find that it’s usually a very popular roll, it’s usually the one that everybody has said is delicious. I think a lot of thought goes into naming the roll after your own place, which is usually your own name. Right?

We all know you do the comedy thing all right…

I know. But I eat everywhere I go and just about everyday. We all do. I should do a comedy show and buffet.

Yeah, why don’t you?

I don’t know. There’s never been such thing as a Comedy Brunch.

That is yummy. And it’s a good question—it really tells the people who I am.

“Where is that guy who has granola, yogurt and fruit playing tonight?”

Yeah! And there really should be ‘cause what’s better than laughing so hard you choke?

I’ve noticed in the Hawaiian culture, sometimes the food is somewhat different than the mainland cultural food in the sense that, uh— SPAM is considered a delicacy.

Oh stop yourself! Now, you’re gonna have to tell me what you’re having for lunch, too.

Yes… is there anything wrong with that?!

The fact that Spam is considered a delicacy? When I was eating meat, I liked Spam— I’m not saying that. It’s put in a different category on the islands than it is on the mainland. You know, it’s CANNED MEAT. I think if you put it in terms of dating, and it’s your first date with a woman you really wanted to score points with, you know, on the mainland, you would never say, “I’m taking you out for some Spam tonight.”

But if you were dating a beautiful Hawaiian woman, you might impress.

I think I’ll have a sandwich—I don’t eat red meat. Is that okay?

The sandwich thing? It’s a little disappointing.

I disappointed you? I started off really good, with the granola and the yogurt and the thing but the sandwich kinda killed it.

Speaking of dating, have you heard of that book, He’s Just Not That Into You?

Well, it’s just so pedestrian.

Yeah—how do you tell if somebody’s not that interested? I live in L.A. so things are more black and white than they are in the rest of the world. Well, if Robert Blake had written the book, you can tell he’s not into you if he leaves the restaurant and shoots you in the head. Then you can tell he’s not into you.

Oh, you were looking for something entertaining?! I could think of something more entertaining to have for lunch but no, I’m gonna have a sandwich. Are there good sandwiches in Maui?

Of course!

Everything you order in Maui comes with those Maui Chips. Everything! I remember I once went out for lunch and I just felt like chips. So I ordered Maui Chips. It came with a side of Maui Chips. I thought it was redundant.

That is so L.A. Isn’t it? We don’t have as much subtlety here in California as we do in the rest of the nation.

I just came back from vacation there, so I would have to agree. But I had a lot of fun.

And I ate a lot.

Do you have a favorite place to eat here?

28

Howie Mandel performs Wednesday, Dec. 29, 7:30 p.m. at the Castle Theater, Maui Arts & Cultural Center. Tickets are $45, $35 and $25. Call the box office at 242-7469.

It’s a food question. If you kept asking me about comedy, I’d have nothing to say. Food!

Mmm… good. Yeah, those parfaits are yummy.

I’m a big sushi nut. Where’s the best sushi place? I don’t know, really. I just go

Howie Mandel

Right! You’re smart…

Yes!

No, I’m sorry. I’m just a little obsessed with food right now. See, it all started at Thanksgiving…

y es...

Tueosusdtica al Groov

There’s usually a “house roll.” The thing is, why would you name a roll, give it the heading and underline your place? This is how you’re going to represent your place. It wouldn’t be the mediocre thing. If you said to Sansei, “How’s the Sansei Roll?” “Eh, it’s okay. It’s not our best thing.” It would never be that, right?

Do they put granola in there, too?

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Um, well, the most popular sushi joint here is Sansei. And it’s really good! What’s your favorite sushi roll?

Howie Mandel: I walk every morning.

After the walk, I have this—they call it a “breakfast parfait,” but it’s like, yogurt, fruit… that’s it.

I don’t really eat lunch. But I’ll have dinner… or… I don’t know what I’ll have for lunch. Are you the food columnist for the paper?

3 nd Live Mo lphia @ St. LoRuis Philade FREE HOT DOG BA et t hoJraezzSSehxow S h t r o N pm FREE

there and if I see a place, I walk in.

Maui Time Weekly: So what did you have for breakfast this morning?

SHOW

FREE

Jo

Howie Mandel is a really funny guy.

He does stand-up comedy, created the Emmy-nominated cartoon Bobby’s World, played a doctor on St. Elsewhere, did this hidden camera thing so many times on The Tonight Show that he got his own new show called Hidden Howie on Bravo and pioneered the art of stretching latex gloves over his head and then blowing them up with his nose. Anyway, he’s coming to Maui. So I talked to him. Mostly about food.

I would’ve guessed that. MTW

Mandel

thursday

12/23

bada Bing

friday12/24

saturday12/25 sunday12/26

monday12/27 – wednesday12/29

Pono Players, Comedy Improv $15, 8pm

1945 S Kihei Road, Kihei - 875-0188

Blue Lagoon

TUE - Carroll Brothers, No cover, 7-10pm

658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-8141

Bocalino

Kilohana No cover, 10pm

Neto Peraza, Latin Night No cover, 10pm

DJ Shark In The Water 10pm

Casanova

Shankara $10, 9pm

Space Ibiza $8, 9:45pm

Vince Esquire X-mas Show $8, 9:45pm

No information available

No information available

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

charley’s

142 Hana Hwy, Paia - 579-9453

Industry Night w/DJ No cover, 9pm

MON - Mark Epstein & Friends, Blues & Jazz, 10pm; TUE - Jay Molina & Gilbert Emata, 10pm; WED - Soul Concept w/Curtis Williams, 10pm, No cover

Gypsy Pacific 2pm, $7

WED - Ladies’ Night, $5, 9:45pm Wed - Sunn Lounge w/DJs Sal, Lucky & Kev, $5, 9pm-1:30am

Compadres Bar & Grill Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-7189

Da kinecalendar lBIG SHOWSl

music. Tickets: $22-$16-$10. 7 p.m., CastleTheater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

ShankaraMantraTranceDanceChristmasParty-Tonight.

Shankara, David Backstrom & Raj Agni with DJ Ged, Vadra and Heather Morgan. Shankara’s first concert since the sold-out Ram Dass programs. Shankara’s mind-bending vocals and multi-instrumentation combined with DJ Ged’s world rhythms creates an ecstatic exploration of the spirit of dance and mantra chanting. Tickets: $10. 10 p.m., Casanova, Makawao, 572-0220.

Pepper - Wednesday. Hawaii’s hottest punk-reggae sensation. Back for a winter party with local favorites Gomega and Absence Of Void. Tickets: $17.50. Lahaina Civic Center, 593-8333.

Howie Mandel - Wednesday. Howie Mandel’s versatile career has encompassed virtually all aspects of the entertainment spectrum, ranging from television, film and stage.

From his work on St. Elsewhere to the Emmy nominated Bobby’s World, Howie has become a mainstay of the American comedy scene. Tickets: $45-$35-$25. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Love & Light Christmas Party - Friday. Featuring DJs Alex Graham (Lollapalooza), Tim Dawg (Stomp), Kidd (Full Tilt), DJ Justin, Daniel J (Love & Light). Red & White holiday attire is required. along with Love & Light presents to the first 50 people. Tickets: $10. 9 p.m., Hapa’s Nightclub, Kihei, 879-9001.

Space Ibiza - Friday. Internationally known artist and Maui party person Ray Masters will be spinning his dance floor filling brand of House music. Space Ibiza will once again bring the Ballieric vibe to the North Shore with DJs Rainbow, Fernando Bottero, along with dancers, video projectors and “intelligent lighting.” Tickets: $10. 9.30 p.m., Casanova, Makawao, 572-0220.

lTICKETS ON SALEl

Mikey Dread - Jan 1. One of the most influential performers and innovator in reggae music. Throughout the years, Mikey has been making impressive and captivating live performances with the Fully Fullwood Band across Hawaii and California. Tickets: $20. 9 p.m., Hapa’ s Nightclub, 41 E Lipoa St., Kihei, 879-9001.

Michael Franti - Jan 1 & Jan 7. In nearly two decades of music-making, Michael Franti has grown from a blackbooted voice of youthful rage into a barefoot clarion for social justice. Just recently off a world tour and dates with Ziggy Marley, Michael Franti rings in 2005 with two exciting club appearances! Saturday, Jan. 1 at Casanova, Makawao, 572-0220. Tickets: $22 adv; Friday, Jan. 7 at Hapa’s, Kihei, 879-9001. Tickets: $20.adv.

Shanghai Circus - Jan 3-4. A perennial favorite for audiences of all ages. Born of a 2,500-year Chinese tradition of athleticism and artistry, the Shanghai Circus features acrobats, jugglers, contortionist and other skilled performers who dedicate their life to the achievement of physical excellence. Witness astounding feats of balance, breathtaking acts of body-bending, and daring displays by knife-thrower and plate spinners all staged with traditional Chinese props and themes and highlighted by dramatic lighting and

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Stomp - Jan 6-8. The legendary show takes the everyday sounds of newspapers, brooms, lighters and garbage pail lids and creates the extraordinary! There’s no speech, no dialogue, not even a plot—just everyday objects used in non-traditional ways by rhythmically gifted, extremely coordinated bodies in a movement of objects and sound.

And the result is just phenomenal. Tickets: $55, $45, $32, $10. 7:30 p.m. (Thu-Fri-Sat), and 2 p.m. (Sat only), Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Joe Cocker - Jan 9. Known first for his landmark hit, a character-driven version of the Beatles song “A Little Help From My Friends,”Joe Cocker has survived it all, from the Woodstock Festival and the Mad Dogs & Englishmen Tour through the new millennium. His distinctive raspy-voiced versionsof“DeltaLady,”“FeelingAlright,”“TheLetter”and “You Are So Beautiful” are rock classics. Tickets: $58-$48$38. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

LouisHayes&TheCannonballAdderlyLegacyBandJan 13. Jazz drummer Louis Hayes has been generating an impressive range of dynamic expression since his association with the great jazz bands of the 1950s and 1960s and he’s still one of the swinging-est stickman in modern jazz. This current line-up harkens back to Julian Edwin “Cannonball” Adderly, one of the progenitors of the swinging, rhythmically robust style of music that became known as hard-bop. Tickets: $25. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. KathyCollinswithWillieKin“TitaOut...OneMo’Time”-Jan 14-15. Part of the Talk Story Series, local actress and radio DJ Kathy Collins returns with her alter ego “Tita” and special guest Willie K. Enjoy an evening of humor, storytelling and song—local style. Spooky stories, Hawaiian legends, Willie K’s amazing musical artistry, all laced with “plenny pidgin” and lots of laughs. Chicken skin, garans-ballbarans!

Tickets: $20. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. WarrenMiller’sImpact-Jan14.SnowcomestoMaui!Jeep and Warren Miller present the latest release in extreme snow-sports films. Travel the globe to discover the steepest slopes and the skier and snowboarders who are brave enough and skillful enough to traverse them. Tickets $12.

Sports Expo at 5:30 p.m, Show at 7:30 p.m, Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Pilobolus - Jan 20. The freshest combination of performance art to crawl, leap, roll, ripple, glide or morph its way across the stage, Pilobolus is a dance company of international influence, acclaimed for a perfect mix of humor and invention. “Exuberant physicality” is their hallmark, as the dancers bend and twist, pose and shape themselves into forms that are at once thoughtful and awe-inspiring living human sculpture. Combining dance, acrobatics, theater and mime. Tickets: $28-$18-$10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. HalauOKekuhi&TauDanceTheaterInHanauKaMoku - Jan 22. The program tells a story of the birth of a new island off the coast of a Hawaii called Kama‘ehu: Mountain child of Haumea earth and Kanaloa sea. Kumu Hula Pualani Kanaka‘ole Kanahele and Nalani Kanaka`ole joined forces

dining

day&night A & E Film

with Peter-Rockford Espiritu for this inspired production.

Tickets: $38-$25-$10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

AnAcousticEveningwithLisaLoeb-Jan23.Acontemporary singer/songwriter who positively rivets audiences with her characteristic blend of melodic, intimate songs, sharpened with a rock edge. One of the most-respected female musicians of her generation, she was the first unsigned artist to reach Billboard’s No. 1 spot with her smash gold single “Stay (I Missed You).” She’s also known for her hit “And I Do” as well as her role at the forefront of the ground-breaking Lilith Fair. Tickets: $28. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

New Year’s Eve

Jake Shimabukuro - Jan 28-30. Jake Shimabukuro pushes the boundaries of the ‘ukulele into previously undiscovered territory with a mind-boggling exploration of music from finger twisting classics to Hawaiian favorites and jazz

E E V I V E L I V L I L SIIC C C S U I US MU M M

S CH RPUP CRUNN 3 2 COVE / 2 O 1

Thurs E BOX PEN JUK O 4 2 / Fri 12 OBERTS ENNY R K NDS IE 5 R 2 / &F Sat 12 THE HALE &A BAND V 6 2 2/ HOT LA COVER Sun 1 NO IGHT NDAY NLL! O M 7 A 2 2/ FOOTB Mon 1 NITE! KE BOX U J 8 2 / 2 Tues 1 OORE JOHN M T E 9 J 2 PRO C Wed 12/

5 Course Dinner by Ivan Pahk Party Favors Champagne Toast at Midnight Live Music & Dancing!

Jazzy Sounds of the Right Click Trio - All for $90 Sorry, No discounts on Friday $20 cover for dancing only

Late Night Specials

10pm to 1am – 21 & over with I.D.

50% OFF SUSHI & Appetizers

FREE KARAOKE - DRAFT BEER SPECIALS

KIHEI, THURSDAY - SATURDAY KAPALUA, THURSDAY & FRIDAY

HAPPY HOUR DAILY 3pm - 6pm

2411 S. Kihei Rd. 879-0602

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL 5:30pm to 6:00pm DAILY

VOTEDBESTSPORTSBAR ON MAUI! da kine calendar

the grid

Classifieds

Maui Time Weekly

DECEMBER 23, 2004

29

thursday12/23

friday12/24

saturday12/25 sunday12/26

erik’s seafood & sushi

monday12/27 – wednesday12/29

Open Mic Night w/Mike Carroll 9pm

843 Wainee St., Lahaina - 662-8780

Hapa’s Nightclub

Love & Light X-mas Party $10, 9pm

Ladies Night Out 9pm

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-9001

Hard Rock Café

Closed For Christmas Merry Christmas

Salsa Swing Party 9pm

MON - Willie K TUE - Ultra Fest New Year’s Eve Rehersal Bash, 9pm; WED -DJ Fat Joe, 9pm

Booty Shake Fridays DJ $5, 10pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

henry’s bar & grill 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

kahale’s beach club 36 Keala Place, Kihei - 875-7711

MON - Marty Dread, Reggae, $5, 10pm

Middle John Band No cover, 9pm

Jose’ & The Hosers No cover, 5-9pm

Closed For Christmas Merry Christmas

Gina Martinelli No cover, 6-9pm

Da Hawaiians 6:30pm

Kenny Roberts 7:30pm

El Nino 7pm

Habanero Brothers 6:30pm

Habanero Brothers $5, 10pm

Copacobana Night, $5, 10pm

Karaoke w/James 10pm

Kahului ale house

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

MON - Steve Mendoza, 7pm, TUE-WED - Da Hawaiians, 7pm

Da kinecalendar improvisation. He is truly a new breed of ´ukulele player, blending the sweetness of traditional Hawaiian music with the showmanship of arena rock, combining lightning fast technique with great aloha. He’s also the winner of multiple Na Hoku Hanohano awards, including Favorite Entertainer of the Year. Tickets: $28. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Lady Smith Black Mambazo: Long Walk to Freedom Tour - Feb 1. They have become cultural emissaries, bringing the soulful music of black South African mine workers to worldwide attention with concert tours, high-profile ‘command performances,’ and numerous appearances in movies, theater and TV. Their finely nuance a acappella harmonies are “like one deep, rich, resonant and proud voice” transforming serious themes into joyous and celebratory music. Tickets: $28,-$18-$10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

All That Dance - Feb 3. Maui Song and Dance, with Day Dance Company & Friends, present an exhilarating evening of live dance and song. Kimberly Day’s uniquely hot and humorous jazz choreography made her a favorite in Los Angeles theater and television circles. She brings a new fast-paced program of works set to music ranging from Chicago and Cabaret to Magic Carpet Ride. Guest choreographers and dancers expand the evening’s experience with Hip-Hop from Joel Suarez, Lyrical Dance by Jamie Woodbury, Rumba by Dennis and Jennifer Goss, Tap by Jill Okura, Dance. Tickets: $20, 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Ahn Trio - Feb 4. Korean sisters Angella, Maria & Lucia Ahn comprise an intriguing piano-violin-cello ensemble.

From their first TV appearance in Korea to their current “AhnPlugged” World Tour, they have entertained and emboldened the classical audience, reaching out to new audiences with a repertoire ranging from Haydn and Beethoven to John Zorn, Astor Piazolla and The Doors.

Tickets: $28-$10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 2427469.

Keali‘iReichel:Kukahi2005-Feb11.Keali‘iReichelspreads his message of the living culture of Hawai`i to the world.

His halau is known throughout the islands, on the Mainland and in Japan, and his collections of Hawaiian traditional and contemporary music have insured his place in Hawaiian music history by critical and popular acclaim. Tickets: $38-$30-$10. 7:30 pm, Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Les Yeux Noirs - Feb 17. Les Yeux Noirs pernounced lays yuh nwahr, which means “The Black Eyes” Takes its name

from a Russian gypsy tune of the ’30s perfect for a French sextet with a musical meld of klezmer, Eastern European gypsy, North African melodies and French gypsy jazz. The exuberant combination of traditional and original songs of travel, love, lament and celebration persuades the listener to break free from the burdens of life. Tickets: $25$18-$10. 7:30 pm, Castle Theater. 242-SHOW. Rennie Harris’s Pure Movement - Feb 18. Rennie Harris founded Pure Movement based on the belief that hip-hop encompasses diverse and rich African-American traditions, carried forward by a new generation through the ever-evolving interpretation of dance. With its roots in the inner-city African-American and Latino communities, Hip-Hop expresses universal themes that extend beyond racial, religious and economic boundaries. Tickets: $28$18-$10, 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC 242-7469.

lEVENTsl

lTHURSDAY, DECEMBER 23l Shankara-Mantra Trance Christmas Party - 10 p.m. at Casanova, Makawao. Performing include Shankara, David Backstrom and Raj Agni, along with DJ Ged. worldly rhythms creates an exploration of the spirit of Mantra chanting, and dance. Tickets: $10. For info, call 572-0220.

Maui Blood Drive - 8:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m. at Cameron Center in Wailuku. Save three lives with a single donation!

Healthy community members are needed to donate regularly to keep replenishing the blood supply. For info, call 1-800-372-9966.

900 Front St., Lahaina Info: 808.667.7400

FRIDAYS IN DECEMBER

$5 COVER

MONDAY NIGHT

MARTY DREAD

ift Moose cGates i Certif Great Make king Stoc rs!

Stuffe

X-mas Eve Pajama Party this Friday!

Wait for Santa to arrive in your favorite PJ’s!

Drink Specials

with

$3 Red Stripes $5 COVER

Gift Giveaways

HAPPY HOUR!

3-6pm & 10pm-12am except special events hardrock.com

30

DECEMBER 23, 2004

da kine calendar

lWEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 29l Score with Score - 12-1 p.m. Maui County Business Resource Center, Maui Mall. Learn business techniques on the insurmountable obstacles of running your business and how to make your business more profitable. Meet Brian, Bill, Doug and Richard as they share their business solutions with you. Free. For info, call 873-8247.

lDINNER MUSICl lWEST MAUIl BJ’sChicagoPizzeria–JohnKane,Wed,ThuandFri;Harry Troupe, Sat; Kaleo Phillips, Sun; Clay Mortenson Mon, Tue. All sets from 7:30-10 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

CheeseburgerinParadise–BrooksMaguire,Thu,Sat,Sun and Wed; Harry Troupe, Fri; Gail Swanson, Mon and Tue. All sets from 4:30-7:30 p.m. and 8-11 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

CoolCatCafe-Thu&MonTheWhaleSharkErikPietsch.7p.m.

Howard Ahia Fri-Sun, 6:30 - Close. Hau Phat, Wed. 7 - 10 p.m.

Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908.

Booty Shake Fridays with DJs John Scott & Element “All the Hits-Top 40 R&B”

lTUESDAY, DECEMBER 28l High Tech Maui Job Fair - 2-6 p.m. The Job Fair showcased Maui-based employers and allowed them the unique opportunity to provide company information and recruit kama’ainas who are in Hawaii during the holidays. Free.

For info, call 875-2332.

Cafe O’Lei - Steve Sargenti, Tue-Fri 5:30-9 p.m. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9491.

3rd annual

hrc MAUI

lSATURDAY, DECEMBER 28l The 3rd Annual HolidayMeal-1-5p.m.atBaldwinBeach Park, Paia. Donations for cash and food including, roasted turkeys, baked good, vegetarian dishes. Volunteers are need for setting up, and tree trimming. Free. For info, call 873-0801.

X-MAS SPECIAL! - 20% OFF GOLF SHIRTS

Fish&GameBrewingCo.&Rotisserie-NinoToscano,Thur, Fri;KawikaLumHo,Sat;Damien,Tue;ErnestPuaa,Sun-Wed; Brian Haia, Mon. All sets from 6-9 p.m. 4405 Honoapiilani Highway, 669-3474.

Hula Grill - Kawika Lum and Albert & Billy, Mon; Jarret Roback and Albert & Billy, Tue; Ernest Pua’a and Don, Brian & Roy, Wed; Ernest Pua’a and Bradah Brian & Don Thur; Bradah Brian & Roy, Fri; Kawika Lum and Da Ukulele Boyz, Sat; Kawika Lum and Ryan Tanaka & Friends, Sun. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building P, Kaanapali, 667-6636.

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz – Acoustic Music with Mike Fri-Sat only 7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., 667-0787.

KahanaTerraceRestaurant–HarryTroupe,TueandThu; Randy Reno, Sat. All sets from 6-9 p.m. Sands of Kahana Resort, 669-5399.

Kimo’s – Sam Ahia, Wed thru Sun, 7-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

Leilani’sOnTheBeach–CrazyFingers,Thu,4-6p.m.;JD& Friends, Fri - Sat, 2:30 -5:30 p.m.; Kilohana, Sun, 3:30-6 p.m;

thursday12/23

friday12/24

Kimo’s

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

Kobe japanese steakhouse 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

saturday12/25 sunday12/26

TBA

Closed For Christmas

Karaoke 9:30pm

Karaoke 9:30pm

monday12/27 – wednesday12/29

Life’s A Beach

DJ Nexus No cover, 9pm

Habeneros No cover, 9pm

LAB’s Christmas Party w/ Special Guest

Free Karaoke No cover, 9pm

MON - Open Jam w/Adam 9pm; TUE - Crunch Pups, No cover, 9pm; WED - Guy’s Night Out, 9pm

Lobby lounge

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

Clay Mortensen & George Tavoularis, 8:30-11:30pm

Nils & Anastasia 8:30-11:30pm

Pam Peterson & Rudy Baria, 8:30-11:30pm

MON - Tiffany Lee & Josh, 8:30-11:30pm; WED - Clay Mortensen & Gilbert Emata, 8:30-11:30pm, No cover

No Entertainment

No Entertainment

Four Seasons Resort, Wailea - 874-8000

Lobster Cove

100 Ike Dr., Wailea - 879-7677

Longhi’s 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288 Longhi’s Shops at Wailea - 891-8883

Willie K, $10, 10pm

Custom Tattoos Pain Free

t

e Fruit C Lif

o.

Sw ee

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

Gift Baskets • Fruit Baskets • Flowers

Featuring:

Felix & Jaxon

Delivered on Maui and now Shipping WorldWide.

12pm-10pm Daily

193 Lahainaluna, Lahaina • 667-2156

(808)27-SWEET(277–9338) SweetlifefruitCo@aol.com VISIT US AT www.mauifruitbasket.com

OPEN AT 8PM $10 COVER CHARGE MIDNIGHT CHAMPAGNE TOAST

142 HANA HWY • PAIA

579-8085

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dining

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da kine calendar

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Maui Time Weekly

DECEMBER 23, 2004

31

744 FRONT STREET • A FEW STEPS BELOW FRONT STREET • 667-JAZZ

32

DECEMBER 23, 2004

da kine calendar

thursday12/23

friday12/24

Lulu’s

Merv Ohana No cover, 8pm

The Whillys No cover, 8pm

Larry Council Band No cover, 8pm

Service Industry Night, No cover, 9pm

MON - Monster Mondays, No cover; TUE - Tini Tuesdays, No cover; WED - Karaoke night w/Tyrone, No cover, 8-11pm

Moose McGillycuddy’s

DJ Mackie Mac No cover, 9pm

DJ Mackie Mac No cover, 9pm

DJ Rock Hard Tark No cover, 9pm

DJ Rock Hard Tark No cover, 9pm

MON - DJ Mackie Mac & DJ Rock Hard; TUE - DJ Mackie Mac, & Big Zeck $5, 9pm; WED - DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

Mulligan’s On the Blue

Wailea Nights 8 pm

Wailea Nights 8 pm

Murray Throne 9pm

Celtic Tigers No cover, 7pm

MON - Gypsy Pacific, No cover, 7pm; TUE- Accoustico, No cover, 7:30pm; WED - No Entertaiment

Information not available

Information not available

Information not available

Information not available

TUE - Smooth Tuesday w/Curtis Williams, No cover, 10pm; WED - Kanoa, No cover, 10pm

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

No entertainment

Closed Merry Christmas

DJ 9pm

Willie K $3, 8-11pm

MON- Live Jazz; TUE - Tahition Tuesday, $5, 9pm; WED - Live Blues w/Bobby Ingram, $5, 10pm

1945-H S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944 844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

neptunes

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-2555

pacific’o

505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

Paradice Bluz

Sessions DJ $5, 9pm

744 Front St. 667-5299

saturday12/25 sunday12/26

monday12/27 – wednesday12/29

Da kinecalendar 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building J, Kaanapali, 661-4495.

Highway, Paia, 579-6009.

MooseMcGillycuddy’s-Greg&Steve,Thu;Llayne&Greg,Fri; Mark & Mike, Sat-Sun; Anastasia, Wed. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758.

Moana Cafe - Hula Honeys, vintage and contemporary Hawaiian music with elegance and aloha. Wed, Fri Live Jazz. Sun Anik 6-9 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

Pioneer Inn – Ah-Tim Eleniki (Local-style guitar), Thu; 6-9pm; Greg Di Piazza, Wed 6-9 pm., 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636.

lRESORT SHOWSl

Reilley’sSteaks& Seafood-Livemusic(grandpiano)6-9 p.m., Gene Argelle, Mon and Tue; Joel Gold, Wed; Thu, Darrin Lenett, Fri. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Ste #304 Kahana, 667-7477

Embassy Vacation Resort – Kaanapali Beach 104 Kaanapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000

SeaHouseRestaurant–HawaiianmusicwithAlbertKaina and Kincades Basques, Thu; Kincade Basques, Fri, Sat, Mon,Tues; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed. All sets 7 p.m. - 9 p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapiilani Road, Napili, 669-1500.

lSOUTH MAUIl Bada Bing - Hilarious improv comedy with The Pono Players. Dinner & Show, $35. Seating 5:30-7 pm 1945 S. Kihei Rd. in Kihei 875-0188.

BlueMarlinHarbor-FrontGrill&Bar-Fri,MonBoyKana’e and Ka’ Uhaneleo Sat Braddah Frances and friends 6:30 p.m. Sun Terri Garrison 4 - 6:30 p.m Maalaea Harbor, 244-8844.

Capische? – Mark Johnston; Thu-Sat; Brian Cuomo Su, Wed; Sal & Estaire Godinez, Mon.; all sets 7-10 p.m.

Diamond Resort, 555 Kaukahi, 879-2224.

Maalaea Grill – Benoit Jazz Works, Thu, Fri and Sun, 6:30-9 p.m.; Jimmy C Jazz, Sat, 7-9 p.m. Maalaea Village Shops, 243-2206.

Marco’sSouthsideGrill–Variousartists(piano),Mon-Sun. All sets from 7-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041.

Mulligan’s on the Blue – Fri ,Tue, Wailea Nights, , dinner and show. 8- 10p.m.; Celtic Tigers, Sun, 7-10 p.m., Mon Gypsy Pacific 8-10 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

SeawatchRestaurant-NightlyMusic6-9 p.m.100Wailea Golf Club Dr., 875-8080.

SouthShoreTikiLounge-Sunsethappyhour$3specials.

Live entertainment Sun, Tue, Thu Tony & Peter. Wed & Fri Trevor Jones 4-6pm. Outdoor seating on the Aloha Jungle Lanai. 1913 Kihei Road, Kalama Village, 874-6444.

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café – Wed-Fri; guitar and vocals w/ Brado, Sat; Brian Wittman Sun-Mon; Patrick Mayor, Tue All sets from 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

Yorman’s By The Sea – All That Jazz Band, Wed,- Sun 7 p.m.- 10 p.m. 760 S. Kihei Rd. Kihei 874-8385.

lCENTRAL MAUIl MañanaGarage–NightlyNeto&Friends,Latinmusic,6:30 -9 p.m. 33 Lono Ave., Kahului, 873-0220.

lUPCOUNTRY MAUIl Jacque’s - Mon, Live Jazz; 5 p.m.120 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-8844.

Livewire Cafe - Various Artist Tue 7-10 p.m. 137 Hana

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lWEST MAUIl OhanaBar&Grill:Livemusic,Thu&Wed;PatrickMajor,Fri; Wayne & Friends, Sat; Scott Baird & Gretchen, Sun; Ernest Pua’a w/ Hawaiian music, Mon & Tue. All sets from 5:309:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

Swan Court. The Blue Note Swing Orchestra, Dancing nightly to Swing.Tue,Th, Sat, 2 p.m.- 4 p.m. Spats:Weeping Banyan Lounge with nightly Live Hawaiian Contemporary Music 6:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.

Lagoon Bar Entertainment w/hula dancers, 6-8 nightly: Bobby & Ralph, Thu, Mon and Tue; Ralph & Allan, Fri; Fausto & Kawaika, Sat and Sun; Nathan & Ralph, Wed; torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset, 7-8 nightly.

The Westin Maui Hotel 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525 Tropica: Mitch Kepa, Mon & Sat-Su; Benny Uyetake, TueFri. 6-9 p.m. Tableside magic by Fortunato Tue & Thu, and Wed& Sat 7- 9p.m.

lSOUTH MAUIl Four Seasons Resort Wailea 3900 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge, Hawaiian music w/Steve Repollo and Alan

Villeran, Thu, 5:30-7:30 p.m. followed by jazz w/Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; contemporary music w/Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis, Fri, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; island style trio, Sat and Mon, 5:30-7:30 p.m. w/hula dancer 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria, Sun, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Nils & Anastasia (of VooDoo Suns) live & unplugged Mon and Sat, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata, Wed, 8:30-11:30 p.m. Sunset torchlighting nightly.

Grand Wailea Resort Hotel & Spa 3850 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1234 BoteroBarentertainment,5:30-9:30LiveMusicnightlyWed; Strolling Hawaiian duo in the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a nightly.

The Fairmont Kea Lani Maui 4100 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-4100

Ka’anapali Beach Hotel 2525 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0011 Kupanaha:MauiMagicforAllAgesIllusionsanddinner show Tue-Sat, 4:30 p.m., Kanahele Room; Lanui, live music and dancing, 6-9 nightly. Free hula show, 6:30-7:30 nightly; Sunday Champagne Brunch with Hawaiian music

by Polinahe, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

Kapalua Bay Hotel 1 Bay Drive, Kapalua, 669-5656 The Bay Club: Jazz trio, Fri and Sat, 6-9 p.m.; solo pianist, Sun-Thu, 6-9 p.m.; Gardenia Court: contemporary Hawaiian music, Sun, 9:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m.; Lehua Lounge: Free hula show nightly 5:30-7 and contemporary Hawaiian music 7-8:30.

Maui Marriott 100 Nohea Kai Drive, Kaanapali, 667-1200 Nalu’s: Kilohana, Wed, 8-10:30 p.m.

Napili Kai Beach Resort 5900 Honoapiilani Highway, Napili, 669-1500 Hawaiian Music: Kincaid & Albert, Thu; Kincaid Basques Fri-Sat, Mon-Tue; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed; All Hawaiian music shows from 7-9 p.m.

Ritz-Carlton Kapalua One Ritz-Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200 Lobby Lounge: Live music, 6-10 nightly. Banyan Tree Restaurant: World fusion duo Ranga Pae, Fri-Tue, 6:159:45 p.m.

KapaluaIndoorAmphitheaterMastersofHawaiianSlack Key Guitar Concerts series features traditional Hawaiian music. Every Tues 6 p.m.- 8:30 p.m. Tickets: $40 visitor and $30 kama`aina rate.

Royal Lahaina Resort 2780 Kekaa Drive, Kaanapali, 661-3611 “EddieandEddie”w/EddieLilikoiandEddieSebala,5-9:30 nightly in the Royal Ocean Terrace. Royal Lahaina Luau featuring authentic Hawaiian and Polynesian song and dance at 5 nightly.

Sheraton Maui Hotel 2605 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0031

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DECEMBER 23, 2004

33

thursday12/23 friday12/24 saturday12/25 sunday12/26 sandbar & grill

89 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8742

sansei 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua - 669-6286 sansei Kihei Town Center - 879-0004

DJ Durty & Miah No cover, 9pm

Vince Esquire $5, 9pm

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Closed Merry Christmas

spats trattoria

South Shore Tiki Lounge 1913 S. Kihei Rd - 874-6444

Open Jukebox 9pm

Kenny Roberts & Friends 9pm

Stopwatch Sports Bar

Closed Merry Christmas

Closed Merry Christmas

Tsunami Nightclub

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

monday12/27 – wednesday12/29

Open Mic Night w/Jered No cover, 9pm

MON - North Shore Sextet, No cover, 10pm; TUE - John Moore Project, 9pm; WED - Lawai’a, No cover, 10pm

DJ Chad Benz No cover, 10pm

MON - DJ ED V, No cover, 10pm; TUE - DJ Bad Ass Tony, No cover, 10pm

Hale & The Hot Lava Band No cover, 9pm

MON - Monday Night Football, No cover; TUE - Jukebox Nite, No cover; WED - John Moore Project, 9pm

DJ Blast $10, 9:30pm

Hyatt Regency, Kaanapali - 667-4727

Sports Page Grill & Bar

Crunch Pups No cover, 9pm

1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

3850 Wailea Alanui Dr. - 875-1234

Da kinecalendar Jazz entertainment from 6-9 nightly in the Lobby Bar.

For info, call 249-8811.

Wailea Marriott 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-1922

DoCravings&CompulsionsRuleYourLife?-Mon,6:30 p.m.-7:30 p.m. at the Maui Mystery School. Author, workshop, leader and lecturer Corinna Kaufman speaking on the ten steps to overcoming lifelong addictions. Free. For info, call 1-707-548-8464.

Hawaiian Entertainment w/hula 6-9 nightly in Kumu Bar & Grill. Hawaiian entertainment 9-11 nightly in the Mele Mele Lounge featuring Pam Gamboa Peterson Mon and Sat, Mitch Kepa & Raymond “Mundo” Medeiros. Paradise & Ka Poe O Hawaii perform at the Luau, Mon, Tue, Thu and Fri. Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort 3550 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-4900 Sunset Terrace; Live music by Lono, Thu; Brado Mamalias, Fri; Rama Camarillo, Sat-Sun; Bobby Krueger, Mon-Wed; all sets 6-9 p.m. Wailea Sunset Luau, Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m.

Maui Prince Hotel 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge: Ron Kuala’au, Hawaiian and ­contemporary guitar and vocals, Sun, 6-10:30 p.m. and Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m. Mele ‘Ohana duo, Mon, Wed. and Fri, 6-8 p.m., Mon-Sat, 8:30-10:30 p.m. and Mon, Wed and Fri, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

lEAST MAUIl Hotel Hana-Maui Hana, 248-8211 Hawaiian Music in Paniolo Lounge, Thu thru Sun, 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Hula show, every Thu and Sun, 7:30-8:15 p.m. in the Main Dining Room.

lARTl Mitsuyo’s St. Klair’s “Tropical Breeze” - Mon thru Jan. 2, at Lahaina Banyan Tree. The show features St. Klair’s oil and mixed media paintings, monotypes and digital photography. Claudia Coonen will be the featured 3-D artist, showcasing handwoven baskets.

For info, call 874-5666.

Wyland Galleries Wailea: Meet the Artist - Sun, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Live music and naturalists from the Maui Ocean Center, along with a meet & greet with world famous marine-life artist Wyland as he unveils new works and original paints and original oils to be auctioned. For info, call 875-6633.

lKEIKIl

with

GOMEGA ABSENCE OF VOID and

Tickets $17.50 available at Maui Tacos locations, Request Music, Groove 2 Music & Hapa’s. Charge by Phone at 877750-4400 or online at www.ticketmaster.com. Applicable service charges may apply.

Special Thanks to Arts Education For Children Group.

34

DECEMBER 23, 2004

da kine calendar

Toddler Time with Aunty Ninfa & Grammy Grace - Thu, 10 a.m. at Makawao Public Library. Songs, hand puppets, along with children stores, flannel board stories and simple crafts for ages one to five. Free. For info, call 573-8785.

lLECTURESl Why Whales Do That - Daily, 12:45 p.m. & 3:15 p.m. at the Ocean Science Discovery Center in Ma’alaea.

Multimedia presentation focusing on intriguing behaviors of Hawaii’s humpback whales. Includes thrilling imagery, whale songs and expert commentary. Free.

A Natural History of Maui Nui - Tue, 7 p.m. at Maui Community College, Kalama Building, Room 103.

Jonathan Price of the Smithsonian Institution will present a talk featuring a natural history tour of the Hawaiian Islands with a focus on the ancient island of Maui Nui. For info, call 249-2798.

lPOETRYl

Maui Live Poetry Society - Thu, 7-8:30 p.m. at Kalama Heights, Kihei. Peace Poem will be present at this reading. Public participation is welcome. Free. For info, call 661-0414.

lSPORTSl Winter Baseball Clinic - Sun, 9:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m. at the Iron Maehara Baseball Stadium. Baseball Clinic—featuring Kurt Suzuki, current college baseball players from Maui and MIL baseball coaches. Ages 6-18. Amateur players will learn skills and drills. Lucky number drawings will be held for various baseball items. For info, call 250-6835.

Send your listings & photos for the Da Kine Calendar to calendar@mauitime.com or fax (808) 661-0446

Adult Services

Finding your perfect match is easier than making espresso.

TOTALLY RELAX AND LET GO Come and experience my wonderful touch. Very sensuous, enjoyable & healing. 250-4557 DIVINE TANTRA Sensual Spa Session 269-2263

Charge it! Š 2004 TPI GROUP

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35

AUTOMOTIVE AUTOMOTIVE SERVICES

ISLAND COINS & STAMPS

WE BUY & SELL

coins, tokens, medals, stamps, paper money, Hawaiiana, sport collectibles

667- 6155

3rd floor Wharf Cinema Ctr.

COMPUTER EQUIPMENT Area 51 Computer Service www.area51maui.comOn-Site Repairs & UpgradesHome Office/Networking 298-9274

ELECTRONICS

283-7725

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES MAJOR INTERNATIONAL

COMPANY ALL CASH CANDY ROUTE! Expanding in Hawaii, seeking financially motivated individual for P/T or Do you earn $800 in a day? Your own F/T position. Call for appointment 808- local candy route. Includes 30 573-1755 Machines and Candy. All for $9,995.

1-800-807-6525. (AAN CAN) LEARN TO EARN $$CASH$$ LEARN TO EARN $10K+/MONTH from home, following a simple sys- Cash now for structured settlements, tem. Call toll-free, 24 hour message. annuities, and insurance payouts. 8001-888-657-9689. (AAN CAN) 794-7310. J.G. Wentworth.... JG. WENTWORTH MEANS CASH NOW EXTRA DAILY CASH! FOR STRUCTURED SETTLEMENTS. $100-$1000 returning phone calls. (AAN CAN) No Selling, No Explaining. Free recorded message 1-888-563-2467.

(AAN CAN)

SPORTS EQUIPMENT

BUY & SELL

CLASSES & INSTRUCTION

NEWS FLASH! POLAR ICE CAPS

JEWELRY • DIAMONDS WATCHES • COINS COLORED STONES MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS SURF BOARDS

CLASSIFIEDS

WEST MAUI GOLD 667-7689 1000 LIMAHANA PL. LAHAINA

36

MELTING AT ALARMING RATE! Learn to SCUBA Dive Today with SHAKA DIVERS, Professional, Safe, Fun Lessons and Dive Tours. Torpedo Dives, Hydro-Optix Masks! (808) 2501234 www. shakadivers.com it’s SHAKA-RIFIC

CHARGE IT! Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for classified and display ads

CLASSIFIED

TEMPORARY HELP NEEDED For the Mercedes Championships at Kapalua 12/27/04-1/10/05.

Car Detailing $10.+ Hr. Cash Paid Daily.

Call Jim at 949-510-1795 NIGHTLIFE PHOTOGRAPHERS

WANTED. Clubs, bars and special events. Will train. Must have digital camera.

EARN $3500 WEEKLY! Apply: www.iphotoworld.com/jobs Answering Surveys Online! $25-$75 (AAN CAN) Per Survey! Guaranteed Paychecks.

CASTING: Process E-mails Online $25.00 Per E-mail. Mystery Shoppers Earn TV series seeks people with painful $57.00/HourShopping!www.RealCas addictions -especially danger, hPrograms.com (AAN CAN) videogames, steroids, promiscuity, plastic surgery. Also seeking troubled teens, $$ A CASH NOW OFFER $$ desperate housewives and groupies.

Turn future money from lawsuit set- www.habitstv.com (AAN CAN) tlements, lottery awards, and annuity payments into cash now. Free Quotes 1-800-815-3503 www.ppicash.com (AAN CAN)

Ad Deadline Monday 4pm To Advertise Call 661-3786 Fax Number 808.661-0446 Email classifieds@mauitime.com Website www.mauitime.com Mailing 658 Front Street #126A-7278 • Lahaina, HI Drop off 505 Front St. Ste. 216, Lahaina

DECEMBER 23, 2004

Bubba Gump Shrimp Company WANNA HAVE FUN? WANT MORE HOURS? See us today for your interview!!

NOW HIRING ALL POSITIONS Apply in person • Aplique ahora 889 Front St., Lahaina

Looking For A Little Experience?

EMPLOYMENT

FREE DIRECTV F/T & P/T SALES POSITIONS TIRED OF YOUR BOSS? Up to 4 rooms free plus 3 free AVAILABLE Train to earn $15K+/month potential months of HBO + Cinemax for $36.99 At Maui Magic Tan in Lahaina. per month. 1-888-777-7115. (AAN from home if YOU ARE SERIOUS! 1800-649-4026 www.cashflow4all.com Beautiful, Fun Place to Work. Call 808CAN) 662-GOLD (AAN CAN)

SEEKING INVESTORS...

3 TOW-IN BOARDS FOR SALE New 6’ Honolua Underground $500. Building the Most Exclusive Club in Timpone 5’10” and Timpone 5’2” the Country on the BEST location in South Florida. Existing clubs in the $400. each Call 283-7666 area. NET 20% return yearly 20 SPA! Million Dollar package, $500,000.00 Overstocked! New 7 person spa dollar minimum investment. For furLOADED! Includes cover, delivery, ther inquiry please call 305-582-7311. and warranty. $2999, was $5999. 1(AAN CAN) 888-397-3529. (AAN CAN)

$BUY & SELL$

FIRE YOUR BOSS! Realistic $15K/month potential from home. Proven system for success.

FT/PT EXECUTIVE TRAINING INCLUDED. 1-800-359-8336 ext 5018.

(AAN CAN)

Is Seeking Interns.

Entry level positions. High school students okay. We will train.

• Must Be Bright & Adaptable • School Credit Possible

• Work With A Fun Team • Gain Valuable Experience

Send resume to: Jen Russo 658 Front St. #126A-7278, Lahaina HI 96761 or call 661-3786 x3# COORDINATOR Out-going, enthusiastic individuals with strong community ties needed to coordinate international high school exchange program. Expenses reimbursed and travel incentives. Contact 1-888-44-SHARE/www.effoundation.org. (AAN CAN) $525 WEEKLY INCOME possible mailing sales letters from home. Genuine opportunity working with our wellness company. Supplies provided. No Selling. FT/PT. (708) 5367040. (AAN CAN)

PLACING AN AD IS EASY! CALL 661-3786

A COOL TRAVEL job.

Now hiring (18-24 positions).

Guys/gals to work and travel entire USA. Paid training, transportation, lodging furnished. Call today, start today. 1-877-646-5050. (AAN CAN) GOVERNMENT JOBS Earn $12-$48.00/HOUR. Available with full medical/ dental benefits, and paid training on clerical, administrative, law enforcement, homeland security, wildlife, more! 1-800-3209353 x2001. (AAN CAN) $ MODELS WANTED $ For calendar magazine and artistic print work. Ages 18 to 35. 573-3712

CLASSIFIED LINE AD RATES 5 lines included – approx. 140 characters

Frequencies of 1-8weeks Frequencies of 9-26weeks Frequencies of 27-52weeks

$15/week* $11/week* $8/week*

Additional lines are $3 per each - bold and/or caps are $3 per line *Does not apply to Backside or Adult Services. Please call for pricing details.

COOL TRAVEL JOB. Entry level positions, 18+, no experience necessary, 2 weeks paid training, transportation, lodging provided. $500 signing bonus to start. TOLL FREE 1-877-646-5050. (AAN CAN)

REAL ESTATE FOR SALE

ICE HOUSE LOFTS “Living in Tucson Just Got Cooler.”

Authentic loft conversion of 1920’s Ice House. Come join our hip, new urban community. 18’ ceilings, MUSICIANS FOR HIRE exposed brick, concrete and wood timbers. 1-3 bedrooms. $249,000KEXPERIENCED PROFESSIONAL $480,500K. Pre-construction conTRUMPET PLAYER tracts now being taken. (520)623Seeking regular gigging situation with LOFT www.icehouselofts.com Metro working band. 572-2527 or 280-0219 Realty Advisors LLC. (AAN CAN)

MUSIC & ARTS

ARTS *MOVIE EXTRAS* Earn up to $200-$600/ day. All looks, types and ages needed. TV, music videos, commercials, films & print.

Work with the best! “Extras on Call” 1-800-260-3949 ext 3001. (AAN CAN)

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) You’re a field mouse in a hawk’s grip. You were careless the last time you crossed the meadow, and a sharpeyed falcon swooped in and snatched you up so fast you barely had time to blink. Whether this was an honest miscalculation on your part (or perhaps part of you actively wanted something like this to happen), or simply fate, is irrelevant. There’s nothing you can do about it now except relax and wait to be consumed—struggling won’t free you, only grind your soft parts against razor-sharp talons. Fortuitously, this particular bird of prey doesn’t have quite the stomach to digest all of you—with any luck it’ll only eat the pieces you’re better off without.

If you feel that you have been potentially exposed to HIV and would like Free, Confidential and Anonymous testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900.

It is important to know your HIV status so that you do not unknowingly pass the virus to others, also early detection is vital to your health and treatment.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) You’re a lab rat, this week, trapped in a maze. You know better than to believe there’s any kind of reward (like cheese), other than escape. Whether the maze is your annual family holiday gathering, winter doldrums, or some other unimaginable labyrinth, the worst thing you could do is slump despondently against a wall and wait for it to be over. Not only will that forestall your imminent discovery of the exit, it would have scientists (or overanxious parents, employers, etc.) prodding you and messing with you for weeks. Wouldn’t you rather suffer a little now (and soon escape into the comfortably familiar privacy of your regular life) than suffer a lot later (and perhaps never get away)?

You’d be embarrassed if your parents learned about many of the things you do (or have done). But that’s only because their value systems are comically outdated, right? Maybe. Maybe not. You’re likely to have at least one of your ideas about Mom and Pop turned on its head this week, as you discover something about their reckless youths you’d never have imagined (or possibly even done yourself). This is not to say they’re suddenly going to be open-minded sitcom parents who’ll work their way around to understanding everything you believe and do, so don’t be stupid and spill all your wisely-kept secrets. But please be flexible. Railroading your parents into only being exactly who you thought they were would be a huge, very regrettable mistake.

S.&W. MAUI CONDOS from $175,000 W. & S. MAUI HOMES from $375,000

For more information on HIV/AIDS, STD’s including Viral Hepatitis and HIV Counseling and Testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900.

In Hana call 248-7801, Lanai 5656722, and Molokai 553-9086.

P.O. Box 11782 Lahaina

(808) 661-1800 A portion of every commission is donated to the Surfrider Foundation of Maui

artists, musicians, interactive expressionists, magicians, poets, aliens, positive productive humans and talents of any kind for a New Years Eve Music and Art Festival. register today. bhiprofuctions@yahoo.com 808.575.7459

YOGA STUDIO-SHARED SPACE

MUSICIAN SERVICES

FOR RENT In Kihei for Yoga, Fitness, Gatherings or Lectures. Call 573-4010

AKAMAI SOUND & VIDEO DJ Services, Videography & Wide Screen Rental. 280-8310

SIGNLANGUAGE

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

Surf the Maui MLS Listings at www.barrybrownmaui.com Barry Lee Brown (R)

Wanted:

HIV COUNSELING AND TESTING

Quit your junk food diet, baby. Right now. Don’t stop with merely tossing the Cheese Doodles. Renounce your addiction to sitcoms, trash fiction, comfortable lies and emotional shortcuts. You’re badly in need of a diet; your beleaguered heart’s valves are clogged with cholesterol, sentimental saccharin and the arterial plaque of dishonesty. It’s not too late for a multi-pronged cure. Change your diet: Start devouring oat bran, intelligent literature, leafy greens and bitter truths. Work up a sweat, too: Unabashed honesty and a forthright distinction between desires and reality should raise your pulse rate. If it doesn’t, you might not be doing it right. Try again, please.

A public health message provided by The Maui AIDS Foundation.

ROOMS FOR RENT

SHARED HOUSING, ROOMMATES ALL AREAS -

NOTICES

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

ROOMMATE.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings WE WANT NEW WRITERS: with photos and maps. Find your roomThe Academy for Alternative mate with a click of the mouse! Visit: Journalism, supported by the www.Roommates.com (AAN CAN) Association of Alternative Newsweeklies and by alternative VACATION RENTALS papers like this one, seeks experiCLEAN, AFFORDABLE enced minority journalists and stuAccommodations in our vacation dents (college seniors and up) for a rental from $49 per day. Call Toll Free paid summer writing program at Wailuku Guesthouse 877-986-8270 or Northwestern University’s Medill www.wailukuhouse.com School of Journalism, Chicago. The SERVICES eight-week program (June 19 August 14, 2005) aims to recruit talented minority writers into the alternative press and train them in magazine-style feature writing. Ten participants will be chosen and paid $3,000 plus housing and travel allowances.

While the program is designed to encourage minority writers to consider careers in the alternative press, candidates of any ethnicity may apply.

For information visit the Web site at http://www.medill.northwestern.edu/ MAUI RECYCLING SERVICE aaj or write for an application: Academy for Alternative Journalism, Picks up all your glass, plastic, aluNorthwestern University, Medill minum, tin, mixed paper, & cardboard.

School of Journalism, 1845 Sheridan Home Pickup; a convenience for Bi-monthly pick up.

Road, Evanston, IL 60208. Email alta- $16/mo! c a d e m y @ n o r t h w e s t e r n . e d u . Commercial accounts avail. Call Now! Application deadline February 11, 244-0443

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) With the prevalence of camera-phones and other cheap recording technology, our lives are less private than they ever were. This is especially dismaying to you Taureans—not because you’ve got anything more to hide than anyone else, but because you value privacy for philosophical, perhaps even sensual reasons. Maybe you also realize that it’s more of a luxury, these days, than a right (all political rhetoric aside). Luckily, you’re in a position this week to do two very important things: One bold action that could help conserve and protect whatever privacy you have left, and another that could grant you the serenity to glide unperturbed through any intrusions you simply can’t prevent. Good luck on both fronts. Do us proud.

Maui Lawn Works

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

“we do all the work . . . so you can enjoy your yard”

Make plans this week. Actual plans; you know, real commitments it’d be hard to back out of. Flying by the seat of your pants is fine most of the time—it guarantees you spontaneous adventures that you adore. But don’t be so selfish. Some of the people involved like knowing what to expect. You don’t really need the thrill of surprise every time, do you? Carefully planned fun might be the only kind some of the people you know are capable of having. Indulge them, would you? No matter how thoroughly you schedule every minute of the coming week, I promise you’re in for some surprises nevertheless.

Jason Meyer

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) Be careful wielding your emotions. With the Full Moon in your sign intensifying their impact on others, you might accidentally screw up your life with a randomly-flung tear, comment or giggle. A burst of anger could set fire to your neighbor’s Christmas tree, a fit of weeping might drown the cat, or the cackle of your zany laughter could shatter windows all over town. You’ve basically been handed a razor-sharp tansu sword. Swiftly demonstrate your supreme control over this much deadly power, before people flee in terror. You’re fated to evoke one of two emotions in the people around you this week—panicked dread or surprised respect. It’s your choice which.

573-1920

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) Resist your impulse to hide under the bed until the week’s over. Your urge to avoid life might feel overwhelmingly irresistible, but you simply can’t afford to take a week off. Risk a nervous breakdown by participating as you know you should—it’s worth the effort. You don’t have to go out naked and utterly vulnerable into the cruel, harsh world, though. Give yourself buffers; shades, iPod and spiked mulled wine are all acceptable self-medication to help you get through the messiness. You can run around nude and unprotected next week, when you might actually want to.

PLACING AN AD IS EASY!

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) Recall (or imagine) the moment when the umbilical cord between you and Mom was severed. Suddenly, ready-or-not, you were required to breathe and eat on your own. Since then you’ve proceeded—almost in a perfectly straight line—towards ever-greater independence and self-sufficiency. It’s important to keep that profound first “step” in mind, because the one you face this week is much like that—something (or someone) you counted on can no longer support you. The umbilical cord’s been cut. You’re on your own. Luckily, you’ve been doing this all your life; it’s second nature. It’s as simple as opening your mouth and inhaling, deep.

SERVICES

2005. Northwestern University is an equal opportunity educator and employer. (AAN CAN) ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Unfamiliar situations can be overwhelming. A new school might resemble an unfathomable labyrinth; the responsibilities of a promotion can induce sensations of drowning; being presented to your future in-laws makes you want to hide in their guest bathroom and overdose on pills filched from their medicine cabinet. Later, though, you’d navigate the corridors and social convolutions of your once-bewildering school with unconscious ease, forgetting that they ever confounded you; you’d breeze through once-nerve-wracking daily work tasks with time left over for an extended coffee break; you’d joke with your in-laws without a qualm. This is one of those times. No matter how messed up and beset you feel now, you’ll get over it—so thoroughly, that in three months time you’ll barely remember ever suffering any doubt at all.

CALL 661-3786 EXT: 5#

Maui Recycling Service

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) In your mind, certain tasks—tending houseplants, cooking or interacting with kids, for example—fall under some kind of mystic subheading, comprising skills that either people possess naturally, or they don’t have at all.

That lets you off the hook, doesn’t it, when your nieces run screaming, or the geraniums lose all their leaves?

Screw that. While these skills might come more effortlessly to some, anyone can learn how to keep a houseplant alive, cook a decent meal and at least not alienate or frighten children. So you weren’t born with whatever aptitude’s required. So what? Acquire it. You can.

If not now, when?

CURBSIDE RECYCLING! FREE Recycling Bins – And No Sign-up Fee!

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)

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You’re used to advocating unpopular viewpoints—you sometimes consider it your job. You’re also accustomed to doing it solo, which is why you might not notice that someone is doing their best to aid and abet you this week, and you might miss out if you’re not paying attention. This ain’t some lame useless sidekick—Robin to your Batman. You’ve got, instead, a potential ally who’s at least your equal. In other words, you both could go twice as far in half the time—if you manage to notice each other. That, my friend, is this week’s task.

244-0443 • www.mauirecycles.com

CAERIEL@YAHOO.COM

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CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 23, 2004

37

HOLOHOLOGIRL

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS

‘My HG went to SF and I all I got was this lousy column’

38

DECEMBER 23, 2004

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It was a typical day in San Francisco—cold, gray and blustery. I had lunch in Potrero Hill with my friend Tim, the editor of the SF Bay Guardian.

Afterwards I accepted a ride with a nice gentleman in a van who offered me a tour of the city. Thankful he didn’t chop me into poke-sized pieces, I then took a bus to Market Street and walked to the Ferry building, where I bought fine cheese, wine and fresh bread at the most gourmet farmers’ market on the planet.

Along the way I stopped to watch an older black gentleman in a slick purple suit sing James Brown on a rigged PA system with seemingly uncontrollable feedback. Then I chatted with a vendor from Mexico City as he made me two bracelets from gemstones and forks.

The next day, at an Irish bar called Martin Macks, my old pal Jeff introduced me to the “widely popular” aperitif Fernet-Branca. He said it was all the rage in the city. The Internet’s Cocktail Database describes it as a “Proprietary Italian bitter-sweet spirit-based beverage/digestive bitters” that is used in such classic concoctions as the “King Cole,” the “Don’t Give Up the Ship” and the “Franciulli Cocktail.” Jeff later agreed with me that it tasted like “old Band-aids soaked and mottled in a glass of medicine.”

That evening I went to a party for my high school buddy Grimes. A thin man in a devilish Christmas Elf costume greeted us. “He’s Santa’s little demon,” Grimes explained. “He’s a character in German folklore who used to go along with Santa Claus and beat the ‘naughty’ children with his cane.” Then another guy dressed as Santa did a striptease while Grimes’ wife, Eerie, spanked him.

On Sunday I wanted to visit the Museum of Modern Art in SoMa, see a musical street play in the Castro, check out an art flick in the Mission, hang out at City Lights bookstore in North Beach and ogle the expensive fineries of Union Square. So I went to the Blue Front Café on Haight for a Depth Charge—a large coffee with a double shot of espresso.

Hopped up on caffeine, I decided to have my first Bloody Mary of the day. As I sat at the divey Gold Cane, I realized that going to a bunch of places for entertainment was unnecessary when I could just stay in one bar and simply talk to the patrons.

Even the cocktail napkins encouraged intelligent chatter. One napkin asked, “What is the inert gas used in fluorescent lighting?”, “Which of the five senses is less sharp after you eat too much?” and “How many times a year does a penguin have sex?” (The answers are Argon, hearing and one, respectively).

I soon met Umberto, a regal and dapper man in his 60s who said he’s a pro-tennis player who gives lessons at USF. The amicably bitter yet really cute bartender Craig was a poet who rattled off authors I’d never heard of.

Every time the door opened, a blast of cold air shot through the bar and chilled my stupidly exposed toes. A couple at the bar played with a dancing, singing Homer Simpson as Santa Claus doll. They kept pushing his button and laughing wildly.

Then a man in a blue parka with a baby on his back walked in. He addressed everyone’s quizzical looks immediately.

“She’s been holding bottles since she was six months old!” he said, gesturing to his infant.

“Why shouldn’t she be here?”

Later I went to Molotov’s, where I sipped a $3 Anchor Steam while skimming an erotic comic book, as the bar TV silently showed old movies and the jukebox played vintage punk.

“Oh, look!” said a girl at the bar. “They’re playing Wizard of Oz!” “Does that go with Stiff Little Fingers, I wonder?” asked the bartender, earnestly.

I assured her it did.

“We should take on characters,” said a guy at the bar. Then to the guy sitting next to him, he said, “You can be Dorothy.”

“You know, [Wizard creator L. Frank] Baum was a socialist,” said his friend.

I love San Francisco.

I wandered into a bar called the Noc Noc with intriguing industrial-art covered doors and dark windows. It had stuccoed walls that curved and jutted at strange angles with thick black petroglyph-like designs. Metal sculptures of 14-pointed stars hung by chains and blue lights over tables with brushed steel countertops, wooden benches and Seussian painted chairs with strangelyangular backs. And the place was filled with beautiful men. I thought I’d stumbled into a gay bar.

“You’ve gotta finish your science-fiction story ‘cuz I’ve been waiting 10 years to hear that shit!” said one guy to his friend.

That’s when I realized it wasn’t a gay bar. But they did talk about skiing in Switzerland and going to clubs in Berlin.

“We’re always fuck-ups but we always make it happen!” said the same guy. “God, I love saké!”

“It’s all about life and art,” said his friend.

“It’s all about cooking and crying,” said the first guy. “You know, more abstract-expressionism, whereas baking is more akin to… pottery.”

Later in the week I went to Palm Springs to visit my family. The first night I learned that my mother—a former Studio 54 partier and rockstars’ bookkeeper who, back then, had frosted hair and six-inch stiletto-hip boots and rode in limos to Vegas and private jets to Tahiti—now collects gravy boats. She prefers farm animals like turkeys, chickens and roosters but she’s not choosy.

“But I really want a pig-shaped gravy boat,” she said. “That would be cool.” MTW

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 23, 2004

39

kcab edis

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~ CLOSED~

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