08.28 Kalaupapa, January 6, 2005, Volume 8, Issue 28, MauiTime by MauiTimes

■ JANUARY 6, 2005

■ VOLUME 8

■ ISSUE 28

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CONTENTS

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VOLUME 8 • ISSUE 28

www.mauitime.com

COVER STORY 10

ONO KINE GRINDS 13

•Cast Away Visiting the Dead and Dying of Kalaupapa – by Barukh Shalev

•Letters to the Editor •Eh Brah!

•LC Watch •To Kulamalu and Back

14 16

Calendar Goddess: Kim Welch kim@mauitime.com

•Bakery Bound

Contributing Writers: Dan Abendschein, Caeriel Crestin, Sarah Elwell, Stephen R. Hart, Eric Paul Shaffer, Barukh Shalev, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey, Ted Rall

•Dining Listings Hours, locations and price ranges of Maui’s eateries

Illustration: Guy Junker, Glenn Watson

•Employee of the Week

Photography: Sean M. Hower, Kirsten Guenther Interns: Kellie Holliday, Morgan Lorenzana, Gabrielle Poccia

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Art Director: Rudi King rudi@mauitime.com Production Assistant: Wendy Higa

19 •This Week’s Picks 22 •Film: Musical Cheese Substitutes

Does anyone know what this thing looks like? – by Dan Abendschein

Associate Editor: Samantha Campos sam@mauitime.com

Exploring the decadent delights of Simply Sweets – by Samantha Campos

MAUI COUNTY

Editor: Anthony Pignataro anthony@mauitime.com

•Coconut Wireless •Overheard...

Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers brad@mauitime.com General Manager: Jennifer Russo jen@mauitime.com

for Horror

The Phantom of the Opera ( ) – by Cole Smithey

•News of the Weird •Ted Rall Cartoon •Op Ed: Save Social Security with the Flat Tax Unlike Iraq, a crisis easily resolved – by Ted Rall

Office Assistant: Becky Spector

23 •Movies & Times 25 •BookHawaiian Review: Kahuna ‘Ukulele Son: The Life and Music of Eddie Kamae by

Web Design: Liko Resources webmaster@likoresources.com Publisher: Tommy Russo tommy@mauitime.com

James D. Houston with Eddie Kamae – by Eric Paul Shaffer

26 •The Grid & Calendar Listings

MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2004 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly.

CLASSIFIED 31 •Personals 32 •Classified Listings 33 •Sign Language 34 •HoloHolo Girl 35 •Mind, Body & Spirit

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TOUGH CROWD Not only did “Uh Oh: I think I Caused the Po’ouli Bird to Go Extinct” (Dec. 23, 2004) have no redeeming qualities whatsoever, the writing was abysmal. In some instances, sarcasm can be employed effectively to enlighten and entertain. Hyperbole can be used to create a dramatic effect through exaggerating a message. Unfortunately, this article made an attempt at both tactics and failed twice. Better luck next time. -Marcia Godinez, via email

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Thanks for your coverage on Maui Land and Pineapple’s new GMO-free policy (Coconut Wireless, Dec. 30, 2004). Just one thing: your blurb on the subject said I’d written your paper saying MLP had removed all GMOs from their lands. Well, I never said that. I have no info that MLP ever had any GMOs to start with. Please, only reference remarks to me which I have actually made. Happy New Year, and thanks for your great newspaper. Overall, Maui Time Weekly rocks. -Eloise Engman, GMO-Free Maui, via email The Editor responds: My sincere apologies for putting words into your mouth. I don’t know what I was thinking. Might have something to do with that apple I ate before I wrote that particular column. It was a good apple, but it had too many spines.

SAY WHAT? Why are you attacking The Maui News, and spreading lies and misinformation? (I think he’s referring to Coconut Wireless, Dec. 23, 2004) Please stop this and begin telling the truth. The truth: On January 3, 200[5], newlyelected councilmembers will likely elect Councilman [Riki] Hokama as chair. The

Maui News endorses Councilmember [Charmaine] Tavares, but only for its own personal agenda. What The Maui News does not realize is that former Mayor Kimo Apana is using Hokama and Tavares to oust current Chair [Dane] Kane from leadership so that Apana can become the next mayor. As the Apana coalition sees it, if Hokama is chair, Kane is out. Tavares says she won’t run for mayor, so if she’s chair, Kane is out. Do we need another four years of the Apana coalition[?] Don’t we have enough wrecked cars purposely strewn along our roads and streets? Despite The Maui News’ endorsement of Tavares, what [reporters Ron] Youngblood and [Valerie] Monson don’t see are the underlying motives of the Apana gang to use Tavares and Hokama for one thing—putting Apana back in POWER. -Mako Mako, via email The Editor responds: Not sure what your point is or, frankly, what planet you’re from Mako Mako, assuming that is your real name. Spreading lies? Misinformation? Everything you’ve just said—except for the speculation— I’ve reported, as has The Maui News.

Maui Time welcomes letters commenting on our coverage, but only if they’re complimentary. If you still wish to complain about something, please have the decency to use plenty of bad punctuation and grammar—that makes it easier for us to make fun of you when we respond. Send your letters to the editor via e-mail (letters@mauitime.com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A-7278, Lahaina, HI 96761) or fax (808-661-0446). All correspondence must include your full name, hometown and phone number.

EH BRAH! Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less, changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A–7278, Lahaina, HI 96761 or send an e-mail to

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NEWS

ehbrah@mauitime.com Enough already! This goes out to the fool at the beach who wouldn’t stop talking on his damn cell phone. Leave the phone at home next time you visit one of our beautiful Maui beaches. Our ocean and beaches are here for a spiritual and cultural experience for everyone. I know you gotta bring it with you but talking on it for an hour while you pace back and forth in front of me is way out of line. What a moke. Don’t you know the ocean acts like an amplifier, man? That means all us locals gotta listen to your lame conversation about nothing. If you’d been talking about something interesting, then maybe, but you were just dull. Maybe I’ll start a petition to outlaw crazy buggahs like you. KAPU THE CELL, BRAH!!!

MAUICOUNTY

BY DAN ABENDSCHEIN

To Kulamalu and Back

Innocence Lost

Does anyone know what this thing looks like? Living in Kula can be a real adventure. Some go hiking while others prefer horseback riding, but me, I just got back from a journey that made all that other stuff pale in comparison. That’s right: I just returned from a search for the secret of the fabled Kulamalu Project, and I lived to tell about it. Didn’t find out much, but I did live through it. Kulamalu’s been publicized as a readymade “town center” for Kula. It will have parks, trees, “old-fashioned” street lights, a shopping center, as well as several doctor’s offices and a long-term care facility for seniors. It’s slated to go up across from King Kekaulike high school. Dick Mayer of the Kula Community Association told me that he believes Kula’s expanding population means Upcountry’s shopping facilities will have to expand as well. Mayer’s a reasonable man, but I wanted to know more. After all, expansion of any kind brings more traffic. Right now Haleakala Highway has just two traffic lights—coming from and going to Pukalani. The slow speeds on the highway are one of the reasons why people enjoy living in Kula in the first place. The weekday morning traffic on the Kula highway already has a tendency to slow to a crawl right in front of the Kulamalu Town Center project. The schools around the area cause the slow down, which varies from a short delay to the occasional 10 minute stop-and-go nightmare. Once there is a major shopping center right there, the traffic is going to be worse. When planning for Kulamalu, the

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Could this be Kulamalu? Kula Community Association decided there would be the need for additional traffic lights in the area. That’s going to add time to everyone’s commute. Of course, the whole idea of putting a “town center” in Kula is laughable. Aren’t town centers usually in the center of town? But from what I know about Kulamalu, it’s a lot closer to Pukalani than to any populated spot in Kula. Pukalani already has a large grocery store, small grocery store, three banks, a hardware store, gym, cell phone provider, Laundromat, drycleaner and several restaurants and cafes. Do we need more of these facilities? Or is Kulamalu to be filled with retail shops, movie theaters, and other businesses that people like, but don’t actually need? As you can see, I’ve got more questions than answers. So I did what any good citizen would do—I called the County Planning Department and asked to see the Kulamalu plans. And called. And called. They transferred me to the building permits division, the planning division, then several other departments, each time telling me the plans I was looking for were somewhere else. Weeks went by before a clerk finally told me in clear and unequivocal language that the county did not have any plans for the Kulamalu. They also didn’t have any blueprints, sketches, environmental impact or traffic studies. Then I called Kulamalu LLC, the project developer, which is headed by Everett Dowling. “We’ll get back to you and let you know if we want to share those plans with you, or not,” Dowling’s secretary told me. My phone hasn’t rung yet, so I’m guessing they don’t feel like sharing. Goodfellow Brothers, who are slated to build Kulamalu, also told me they didn’t have any plans. I hope they’re at least brought into the loop before they start pounding nails.

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People usually accept that living in Kula means having to go down to Pukalani, Makawao or even Kahului to do their shopping. Kulamalu will be the first major commercial development on the Kula highway, a drive I very much like to do right now. It will be a place accessible only by car, requiring massive amounts of parking to sustain itself. It will be, quite simply, just another mall. No wonder no one’s in a hurry to tell people what it looks like. MTW

Buried within the Maui County Department of Liquor Control’s 2004 Annual Report is an amazing statistic. In fiscal year 2004, the LC conducted 227 minor decoy sting operations against bars, restaurants and stores licensed to sell alcohol on Maui, Lanai and Molokai. Oh wait—that’s not the amazing part. I mean, 227 is a lot of times to get some 19 or 20-year old kid and have him walk into some establishment and ask for a Heineken or Bartles & Jaymes or whatever it is the fake-legal age drinkers are asking for these days. No, the amazing stat is that of those 227 stings, a whopping 32 licensees actually went through with the deal and sold the kid booze. Thirty-two. Roughly 14 percent. Or put another way, 195 liquor licensees correctly identified the kid and refused to sell him or her alcohol. Too bad they don’t know it. That’s because the LC doesn’t tell licensees when they’ve passed a sting operation. The Jan. 6, 2005 Liquor Control Adjudication Board agenda exemplifies this practice. It includes four decoy stings from the same night—Aug. 19, 2004, which was a Thursday. The LC spread out across Lahaina Town that night, hitting at least half a dozen bars and restaurants. First to fall was the venerable old Pioneer Inn, which served the minor at about 7:30 p.m. A half hour later, the LC’s minor decoy managed to purchase an adult beverage at Kobe Steakhouse just around the corner. By 9 p.m., the LC was at 505 Front St. Gaby’s Pizzeria served the minor a few minutes after nine. An hour later, Pacific’O did the same thing. But those weren’t the only places hit by the LC. The undercover minors also entered at least two other establishments—the Sly Mongoose and the Hard Rock Café—but were refused service. They know this because they received warnings from other establishments as the LC raid was progressing, their staffs recall minors trying but failing to order drinks and the simple fact that they weren’t busted. At no time did the LC ever tell them or any other establishment that night that they’d passed a sting operation. There was no “Job well done” or “Keep up the good work.” The LC just pulled their decoy out and went somewhere else. MTW

—Anthony Pignataro

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PAI A Fi s h M ar k et Restaurant

Tides & times Tide-times set for Honolulu - adjust as follows: Kahului: 1hr 41min Hana: 1hr 23 min Makena: 0hr 32min Kihei/Ma`alaea: 0hr 22 min Lahaina: 0hr 40 min

6 Sun R 7:10A Thur Sun S 6:05P

H 1:17A +2.1 L 8:38A +0.5

H 12:10P +0.7 L 6:13P -0.3

7 Sun R 7:11A Fri Sun S 6:05P

H 2:02A +2.4 L 9:32A +0.3

H 1:19P +0.6 L 7:00P -0.4

8 Sun R 7:11A Sat Sun S 6:06P

H 2:47A +2.6 H 2:19P +0.5 L 10:17A +0.1 L 7:49P -0.4

9 Sun R 7:11A Sun Sun S 6:07P

H 3:32A +2.7 H 3:14P +0.5 L 11:00A +0.0 L 8:39P -0.5

10 Sun R 7:11A Mon Sun S 6:07P

H 4:18A +2.7 H 4:08P +0.5 L 11:42A +0.0 L 9:29P -0.4

11 Sun R 7:11A Tue Sun S 6:08P

H 5:02A +2.7 L 12:22P -0.1

H 5:03P +0.6 L 10:19P -0.3

12 Sun R 7:11A Wed Sun S 6:09P

H 5:45A +2.5 L 1:02P -0.1

H 6:03P +0.7 L 11:11P -0.1

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MAUICOUNTY WEDNESDAY, DEC. 29 Kahului Airport is looking to host a lot of private jets in the coming new year, reports today’s Maui News. And it’s a good thing, too, the economy being kinda down and all. “They’re in and out everyday,” airport ramp manager Doug Chong told the News. But Chong also said that because of a shortage of rooms for flight crews, many Gulfstreams and Lear Jets will just go to the Big Island instead of paying the airport’s $29-a-night parking fee. That’s too bad. And I think I speak for everyone when I say $29?! Are they out of their minds? A big corporation or rich dude flies his own jet into Kahului airport and all you’re charging to store the thing overnight is $29? That wasn’t even a lot when they invented the jet back in the 1930s. Even I can afford $29, and I’m a LONG way from owning my own jet… Governor Linda Lingle, possibly feeling the need to get a little bipartisan since she and her Republican Party of Hawaii got their asses handed to them during last month’s election—break up the school boards: now there’s an issue that will get people out to vote!—has just announced her new policy of supporting “safe and responsible driving.” I know, I’m shocked that she would push such a radical agenda when our state and nation are so bitterly divided, but then again, that’s why they— oops, I mean we—pay her the big governor bucks. Her new proposals include graduated drivers licenses for the under-18 crowd and increased penalties for speeding, underage drinking and racing through crosswalks when someone’s trying to cross. And she wants to get tough with people who have those bitchin’ devices that let you screw with traffic signals— change red lights to green—when you’re approaching an intersection. Ambulances and fire trucks use them all the time, and they’re so cool—cooler even than those little toys they sell with the tiny computer inside that plays 20 Questions.

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JANUARY 6, 2005

NEWS

Some people are just never satisfied. Looks like 13th District State Representative Sol Kaho’ohalahala isn’t going to be a representative much longer, even though he just won a third term in office. That’s because the enormously popular Democrat just announced that he’s resigning from the state government on Jan. 6, 2005 to take a job in… state government. That’s right, he’s the new executive poobah of the Kaho’olawe Island Reserve Commission, which is

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

part of the state’s Department of Land and Natural Resources. Considering that the U.S. Navy didn’t remove 100 percent of the unexploded munitions from their old island bombing range like they said they would, Kaho’ohalahala really has his work cut out for him. To replace him, Kaho’ohalahala reportedly pitched current Maui mayoral aide Mele Carroll, who’s twice lost bids to get elected to the County Council.

FRIDAY, DEC. 31 This being the last day of 2004 and all, I just thought I’d take a moment to thank someone who’s been instrumental to the success of this column. Without this person, this space would simply not exist. This person has gone above and beyond what’s normally required to make sure that each week I’m able to do my job. More than anyone else, this person has truly made a difference. Now for everyone at Maui Time, I’d just to thank Governor Lingle for a job well done and hope that 2005 is all that we hope it’ll be.

Hawaiians sovereignty is, in fact, a fraud written by “haole right-wing racists and bigots” that are part of the Federalist Society and Hawaiians need to stop pussy-footing around with all these competing groups and identities and form a “government of national unity” or else no one around the world will ever take them seriously, reports today’s Maui News. I know, I’m shocked too—I never thought I’d read anything so interesting in the News. And it was written by Harry Eagar, too—the guy who’s normally careful to ensure that his stories aren’t colorful and controversial. In any case, Boyle looks like a meek little librarian or something, but his views are anything but— the guy is advising Chechnya, the Palestinians and a group that wants Dubya impeached for turning the U.S. into a military dictatorship. Um, what are ya doing living in Illinois, Boyle? We need you out here! SUNDAY, Jan. 2 We’re 24 hours into 2005, and it’s already a bad year for State Senator J. Kalani English. A couple months ago, The Maui News reported that the good-guy senator who represents East Maui had taken five free flights from Honolulu to Maui aboard the Hawaii Air Ambulance in 2002, then didn’t mention the trips on his financial disclosure forms, saying he didn’t think they were gifts. But in today’s paper, News reporter Illima Loomis writes that the period when English was flying the too-friendly skies took place immediately after the senator had lobbied for an increase in Medicare reimbursements to Hawaii Air Ambulance. When contacted by the News, English reportedly refused to comment. Why do I think this story isn’t going away?

MONDAY, JAN. 3 Your 2005-2006 Maui County Council got themselves inaugurated today, which was a generally muted affair until they up and voted Dain Kane out of power! That’s right— Council Chairman Kane is now mere Councilmember Kane. For the next two years, G. Riki Hokama will be sitting in the center seat. What was even more shocking was the unanimous vote that put Hokama there. Kane even co-sponsored Hokama’s nomination! Say, you don’t think this had anything to do with Hokama’s surprising no vote in late November that killed Kent Smith’s Pu’unoa Project for a second time? Man, backroom deals are so cool!

SATURDAY, JAN. 1 University of Illinois International Relations Professor Francis Boyle says the Kingdom of Hawaii is still a sovereign nation, the Akaka Bill supposedly granting

OVERHEARD... “I DON’T KNOW WHY EVERYONE’S MAKING SUCH A BIG DEAL. IT’S JUST ANOTHER HOLIDAY.” -Guy at Fish & Game Brewing Company in Kahana 30 seconds after the new year began

TUESDAY, JAN. 4 The best line in Derrick DePledge’s Honolulu Advertiser story today on how Linda Lingle will miss the first day of the state legislative session to attend Dubya’s inauguration has to be that “The inaugural events, which will reflect a nation at war, include a traditional parade down Pennsylvania Avenue and nine balls.” I’d hate to think how many balls George “Man of the People” Bush would have if the nation wasn’t at war. MTW

NEWSOFTHEWEIRD

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

TAX THIS! Some well-off taxpayers in Washington, D.C., are picking up an easy $30,000 or so from the U.S. Treasury, courtesy of a 1976 “historic preservation” tax code deduction, according to a December Washington Post investigation. About 900 properties qualify, and owners get the deduction merely by forgoing the right to alter the building’s facade (which D.C. law restricts, anyway). Giving up this “right” “earns” them an 11 percent tax deduction, and the average value of qualified buildings (according to the Post) is $1 million (historic facades are not often found on downscale homes), meaning that a claimant in the middle tax bracket would get about $30,000.

GOOD CITIZEN In November, The Amazing Kreskin wrote to the acting governor of his home state of New Jersey that he wanted to help the state shed its image of unethical deals and thus volunteered to sit in government meetings and identify which officials are secretly up to no good.

CUTTING-EDGE ACTION ON PROSTATE CANCER

EXPENSIVE BREAKFAST Citing a police press release, the German news organization Deutsche Welle (DWWorld) reported in November that the reason that motorist Julia Bauer of Bochum, Germany, lost control and smashed into a parked car and a lamppost was that she was preparing cereal and milk on the passenger seat while driving to work and tried to catch her bowl as it was falling to the floor. The cost of her breakfast (in damages) turned out to be about US$27,000.

MMM… THERAPY Sex-despondency among women is apparently such a problem in Japan that business is booming for counselor Kim Myong Gan’s fouryear-old company of trained male professionals who invigorate them, according to a November Agence France-Presse dispatch. Kim charges the equivalent of US$190 for the initial consultation and scheduling, and his men provide hands-on assurance to the clients of their attractiveness and desirability. Most clients are either middle-aged virgins or wives whose husbands have grown to treat them as their sisters.

BIG TOURISM DEAL

Doctors at the Ballarat-Austin Radiation Oncology Centre in Australia have begun inserting three rice-sized grains of 24-karat gold against patients’ prostates. The pellets (cost: about US$300 each) graft permanently onto the gland and help doctors aim the radiation with more precision. And in December, in Vancouver, British Columbia, local TV stations said they were reluctant to air a public service announcement provided by the Prostate Center at Vancouver General Hospital because it featured a prostate-examining doctor reaching inside his patient and pulling out a ticking time bomb (to dramatize the urgency for men to be examined).

Zimbabwe, facing a severe food shortage, is considering an unlikely program to bring rich foreign visitors to the country, according to a government announcement in November. The information minister proposed an “obesity tourism strategy,” in which overweight visitors [especially Americans] would be encouraged to “vacation” in Zimbabwe and “provide labor for (government-confiscated) farms in the hope of shedding weight.” Americans, the proposal noted, spend $6 billion a year on “useless” dieting aids and could be encouraged to work off pounds and then flaunt “their slim bodies on a sun-downer cruise on the Zambezi [River].”

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JANUARY 6, 2005

NEWS

If only U.S. finances were this sound

Think back to the 2000 election campaign. Was anyone talking about Iraq? No way. Yet by fall 2002 we’d gotten so riled up—although nothing had changed—that millions thought Saddam was an imminent threat that had to be taken out. You have to hand it to George W. Bush: he can conjure a crisis from a vacuum. Now the same team that brought you “Iraq on $200 Million a Day” is pimping a preemptive strike on Social Security, seizing on Generation X doubts that the program will still be around when they retire and excessively rosy Democratic assurances to drive a stake in the biggest New Deal-era program. Mark Weisbrot and Dean Baker, coauthors of Social Security: The Phony Crisis point out that Social Security can continue to pay out full benefits through at least 2042, and 75 to 80 percent of that after that. So you’re OK if you’re now 65, but not so OK if you’re 18. But don’t-worry-behappy types aren’t telling you that Americans born after 1963 have already lost four years of benefits. (The Social Security retirement age rises from age 65 to 69 in 2028.)

That fact, coupled with pseudoliberal pundits’ evil “even the youngest Baby Boomers will get their full Social Security checks” mantra, creates a generational wedge issue ripe for GOP exploitation. (Believe it or not, John, not everyone is a Boomer.) “It’s very important for seniors to understand nothing will change,” Bush says. “In other words, nobody is going to take away your check.” Gen X response: yeah, we read Tweenlinese. Old-school liberals are far closer to the truth than the reform crowd: there won’t be any Social Security “crisis” for at least three decades. Still, given that it’ll be 125 degrees in the shade because of global warming, there’s no reason not to save spare our kids another headache. Is privatization a good idea? Maybe, maybe not. But let’s get one thing straight: the Bush reform plan certainly isn’t necessary to make the system, which is currently projected to see negative cash flow beginning in 2018, solvent. Unless something changes, the system’s trustees project that Social Security will run up a total shortfall of $3.7 trillion (in 2004 dollars) through 2080. But that could easily be fixed by overhauling the current 12.4 percent Social Security payroll tax, a highly regressive

burden that falls only on people who earn less than $87,500 a year. The U.S. workforce is made up of 228 million employees who earned a total of $6.7 trillion last year. The richest one percent took away a whopping $1.8 trillion, or over 26 percent of America’s national income. Wanna guess where the one percent-99 percent divide is? Interesting coincidence: at $87,500 a year. Slap the same 12.4 percent FICA payroll tax on the over-$87,500 crowd—the kind of “flat tax” that makes Steve Forbes’ cheeks flush—and you bring in $219 billion a year. That puts the system into the black starting in 2037 and as far beyond that as a CPA can see. Whereas elimination of the payroll tax cap would increase the system’s revenues, others are looking to cut expenses. Charles Schwab, CEO of his prominent discount brokerage firm, favors “means testing”—i.e., he doesn’t believe that rich people like him, Bill Gates and George W. Bush should receive Social Security benefits when they retire. “If you’re above $50,000, you can’t apply, because you have adequate income,” he says about his proposal. But $50,000 isn’t that much. And, as the American Academy of Actuaries points out, Social Security’s political popularity relies on the fact that everyone who pays in gets to take out, period: “A much broader loss of public support could result if a means test caused Social Security to be viewed as a government-mandated income redistribution program rather than an earned right.” A third alternative would address corporations, entities whose tax burden—between 15 and 20 percent of revenues collected by the IRS—is at a record low compared to individuals. A Social Security tax on corporate earnings would help compensate for the fact that corporate America has shifted the burden of providing retired workers with security in the form of defined-benefit pensions to the federal government. To their credit, key Bushies including Treasury chief John Snow say they won’t rule out raising the payroll tax cap. But don’t be fooled. Republicans come not to save Social Security but to loot it. Wall Street investment banks want to charge, as their counterparts robbing the newly-privatized UK retirement system do now, 20 percent fees on your Social Security account. (The British parliament imposed a 20 percent limit on fees, which were often even more outrageous.) Personal retirement accounts, proponents promise, will be strictly voluntary. And they will—for now. Once the system has been partly privatized, it will only take the stroke of a president’s pen to transform Social Security into another 401(k) subject to the giddy booms and shattering crashes of the stock market… exactly the problem Social Security was created to avoid. MTW

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alaupapa on Molokai is a land of no children. This isolated settlement was once a living tomb where people infected with leprosy were buried in shallow graves. At its height, 8,000 called it home. Today their descendants—all 35 of them—live in a cottage lined sleepy village near the seashore. They are all old and dying. When the last one dies an era will end that many would rather forget. I decided to spend Christmas there. It wasn’t easy. To get there requires permission and a sponsor. You can fly or take a mule ride from one side of Molokai to the other. The most rewarding way in is to walk. It is not a journey for the weak: in 1864 the writer Charles Warren Stoddard traveled this way, writing, “the whole face of the abyss was a cataract of verdure, breaking into a foam of flowers, and upon this cataract, we were balanced like birds of the air. Going down, Stoddard was dropping, slipping shambling across a sharp flank of cliff that cut the air like a flying buttress.” Kalaupapa is a small town. It has one fire truck, and it’s broken. Been that way a long time. When there’s a fire, which does happen from time to time, fire fighters either push the broken vehicle or arrange to have a car pull it. “It worked perfectly around the block once,” local tour operator Richard Marks tells tourists. “Then never again.” The ambulances don’t fair much better. Shipped in from Johnston Atoll, the antiquated vehicles are in a constant state of disrepair. Like the former Soviet Union, behavior in town is strictly monitored. You have to sign forms and waivers before speaking with any of the “patients.” Photographing people is strictly prohibited and you are forbidden to wander past the village borders without an escort. People here do not want to talk. Who can blame them? Hundreds of journalists have come here, gotten their story on the exotic “Leper Colony.” Photojournalists have shot just about everything. Busloads of tourists arrive daily,

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gawking at the townspeople like caged animals. They are sick of being a freak show. I learned all this the hard way. Ten minutes after arriving, I walked into the post office. A lone woman was shuffling papers. I immediately blurted out a series of privacy-invading, amateurish questions. At first she said nothing. I put my notebook in my pocket. She told me her name is Ku’ulei and that she loves her dog, a Chinese hairless poodle that at the time was wearing a sweater and a haircut. She said she loves her dog like a child. She talked to the dog and nuzzled it like a human baby. “There are about 35 people here and plenty animals, plenty mongoose, plenty cat, plenty dog,” she said conferring with her tiny dog. “We aren’t allowed to have children here so we have animals.” Leprosy degenerates the eyes, so it’s not surprising that many people here are blind. Ku’ulei wears thick glasses that magnified her watery eyes. “You have to stay busy here,” she said. “You will get lonely if you don’t stay busy.” In many parts of the world and for many years, those afflicted with leprosy were treated inhumanly and denied their civil rights. The story of leprosy in society is the story of cruelty. For most, once they were diagnosed with leprosy, the stigma lasted beyond death. Even their children and relatives carried the burden. In Europe during the Middle Ages, a leprosy diagnosis brought a declaration of death. “Lepers” had to wear bells to warn others when they were approaching. Many were simply killed and buried in shallow graves. The Kalaupapa Store has a storage bunker feel to it. There are cans of tuna, spam and sardines stacked upon the sparse shelves. “Everything else is brought by boat,” said one customer. “You need one washing machine, one dishwasher? You gotta wait ‘til next year. The Hawaii Department of Health brings it by barge. You can get one car, stove, clothes, television set by da boat. Everything else, grocery kine stuff, you buy ‘em hea. Plenty food fo’ eat.” A woman harangued me for writing inside the store. “You come here to buy, not to write,” she said. She wanted to know who invited me, why I was here and when I will leave. In Kalaupapa people will aggressively interrogate you. Where are you walking to? What are you doing there? What are you writing? Who told you about this place? Much of these people’s lives have been an Orwellian dreamscape of control and surveillance. They easily turn that gaze on others. Kalaupapa administrators actually outnumber the residents. There is a constant feeling of oppressive paternalism in this arrangement. The crushing bureaucracy of the state dominates conversations. The Health Department wants to do this, the state wants to do that. It looks like a sleepy village, but the obsessive minutiae of rules and regulations blur the line separating town, hospital and prison. Discussions of imminent death—of the patients and the town—are omnipresent. There is an ethos of fatality. They are, in a sense, walking corpses. Religion is close-by in Kalaupapa. The minuscule settlement has three churches. Even

Cast Away Visiting the Dead and Dying of Kalaupapa the graveyard divides along spiritual lines: Protestants here, Catholics there, Mormons and Indigenous Hawaiians over there. There are no atheists. For residents, religion represents a lifeline to the other side, an end to the suffering they’ve endured through their lives. Religion says that salvation is near. Father Damien came here to help these people and paid with his life, having caught the disease. He met their fate, a Christ figure dying for our collective cruelty. He is invariably depicted in either his younger, fresh-faced state, or stricken with leprosy, nearing death with festering sores on his face. The mythology of father Damien makes these wounds beautiful and noble. People have tattoos of his face. There are statues of him everywhere. His gravesite is a place of pilgrimage. Father Joseph Hendricks was my sponsor for this trip. He’s a kind and inquisitive man. He lives in a tiny house on Catholic Church property inside the settlement. His house is filled with tiny knick-knacks, doilies, family photos and books. He spends most of his time on his La-Zboy, napping until it is the time for him to do something better. He’s from Belgium and speaks with an

impenetrable Flemish accent. He often lets visitors stay in his home for a donation if they “promise to behave.” He is also pious. When we met, I asked him if he liked Tin Tin, the classic comic that is from Belgium. Everyone from Belgium knows Tin Tin, except, it seems, Father Joseph Hendricks. “It’s not in the bible,” he said before patting my head like a grandfather. Father Joseph is sick, freshly recovering from a bout of bladder cancer. Age is also taking its toll. He has trouble walking and once asked me to help him put bandages on the corns of his feet. “I need you to be nice to me,” he said. At night he cooked us dinner. In his refrigerator he had a new bottle of Martinelli’s Sparkling Apple Cider that he would save for special occasions. After dinner he poured us wine and I would tell him stories of places I had been in the world. He listened with rapt attention. He said he’s been nowhere in the world except Belgium and Hawaii. He wanted to hear about Athens, Anatolia, Jerusalem, Armenia and Israel—all the holy places he’d read about. He is lonely in his little house in Kalaupapa. One of his favorite things is to get the mail and he always comes in with a neat stack of

Photos & Story: Barukh Shalev envelopes and packages, smiling like a schoolboy. The other day he received a portrait painting of Mother Marianne Cope, a saintly nun who once worked here. Then he received a bouquet of flowers from a woman in London. Later he got a card from a man in Ireland. Many years ago Father Joseph lived on Maui, at the Holy Rosary Church in Paia. Then one warm summer night, after Father Joseph had been on the island for three years, a man escaped from the Maui jail and made his way to Paia. Planning to escape into the jungle, he, being a Catholic, walked into the church just as Father Joseph was completing his prayers before sleep. Father Joseph told me the man was distraught and wanted to commit suicide. He asked Father Joseph for answers and help. He said was in prison for a crime he didn’t commit and they were going to hang him for it. “At this time Maui had this, how you call?” he asked, making a choking motion with his hands. “Hanging,” I said. “Yes, hanging. He didn’t want to be hanged. He couldn’t stand this.” The man told Father Joseph he had killed a guard, which he said meant he would be executed for sure. Father Joseph offered to make him a sandwich. But first he made the fugitive prom-

ise not to kill himself—promise on the crucifix that he would not do it. The man promised that he would not. Father Joseph was in the kitchen when he heard the shot. He ran back and found the man dead, blood, brains and gunpowder smoke filling his room. As he told me all this, Father Joseph bit his lip hard. There were tears streaming down his face and his entire rail thin body seemed to sob at the memory. “It vas the vorst day of my life,” he said. “Abso-loot-lee de vorst.” I decided to see the outskirts of the village on my own. Waiting until I heard Father Joseph snoring, I packed a small sandwich, my notebook and Walkman and snuck out. I listened to Devo as I walked down Damien Road in the dark, using the moonlight for illumination. At the end of the road was a small park where the tour groups would sit and eat their lunches. The tiny island of Okala sat silently in the darkness. Steven Spielberg filmed the opening scenes of Jurassic Park here. In the old days, sailors used the rock as their beacon to get to Kalawao—the narrow canal between Okala and the peninsula. Rather than dock at Kalaupapa, ships bringing the infected

to Molokai would simply dump the unfortunate people into the water. They were, after all, being exiled to a desolate place. There were no hospitals or treatment facilities or even settlements. Society was casting them off, away from everyone else. Those unable to swim drowned. Many others just swam the other way, into the rough Pacific, never to be seen again. Life back then was Darwinian. The law of Kalawao was survival. The motto was A’ole kanawai ma keia wahi—“In this place there is no law.” Soon I turned back and headed into town. Evenly spaced pillars lined the road. They were the foundations of the old Federal Leprosy Investigation Station. Where I was walking, Kalaupapa residents underwent medical experiments. Robert Louis Stevenson, one of the many famous visitors to the Kalawao settlement, remarked how the walls reminded him of those found in rural Scotland, among those who have lived in the same place for generations. The only difference, Stevenson said, was that “these walls were built by those with bloody hands.” In the distance I could see the “Molokai Light,” a formerly powerful lighthouse that residents used as a beacon. One resident, in an interview with The Maui News, explained the importance the light had for the people here:

lep•er (lep’ r), n. 1. a person who has leprosy. 2. a person rejected or ostracized for unacceptable behavior, opinions, character, or the like; outcast. [1350-1400; ME lepre leprosy < L lepra < Gk lépra, n. use of fem. of leprós scaly, akin to lépos scale, lépein to peel] Webster’s College Dictionary, 1991

“They talk about the statue of liberty, well, this light was the first thing that hundreds of thousands of immigrants to Hawaii saw when they came here,” said Richard Marks. “Every one of our people can remember this light looking over us. It has been here longer than any living person has. It is the Kalaupapa light.” If Kalaupapa had a royalty, Marks would be king. Every story I could find on Kalaupapa mentioned him. He’s won numerous honor awards, met Gandhi, the Pope and Mother Teresa. He is the Sheriff, historian and town tour guide, having operated his wildly successful Damien Tours out of Kalaupapa settlement. Perusing through various photo books of the town, his face pops up here and there. He was diagnosed with leprosy at age 19 but had fled the islands years before, traveling the world as a merchant seaman. His once boundless energy is waning and he needs frequent rest. I tried to interview him but he refused, saying he distrusts journalists because they “twist things around.” Back on my secret night walk, I finally arrived at the modest church where Father Damien preached. Inside it was completely dark, silent and smelled old. It was here that many forlorn people received a love and care they thought impossible. The strong moonlight cast beams of light through the windows. I ran my hands along a pew. Looking from one of the windows, I could see Father Damien’s grave. Only his hand is there now, the rest of him having been disinterred and reburied in his hometown of Tremeloo in Belgium. Adjacent to the church is a large field pockmarked with many unmarked graves. I walked out to the center of the grassy field. Once the air here was putrid from the smell of rotting flesh and decomposing bodies. Doctors and the clergy often smoked pipes to cover the smell. About the time I made it to the center of the field, the weather, which up to this point had been warm and calm, suddenly grew violent. The air grew cold and a stiff wind suddenly blew up, knocking the notebook from my hand. A flock of birds from one of the trees circled the field above my head. Clouds covered the moon. I could hear the surf pound relentlessly. I decided to leave. Back at Father Joseph’s home, I opened a book to a poem about Kalaupapa: On the shores of Kalaupapa We stand with heads bent low; Shut away by high barrier cliffs We recall our own vanished Island Farewell, Farewell, beloved home! Never shall we see thee more. Constantly we implore God To lift this affliction laid upon us. On Christmas Eve I wandered through town. Feeble reminders of the holiday popped up here and there. There were little nativity scenes in the yard, Christmas lights and flyers for Mass and parties. I walked past a Model T Ford sitting abandoned on the side of the road, a huge tree bursting out of its hood. Some houses were ramshackle, others meticulously kept up. The town was dead silent, even though it was still afterKalaupapa: continued on page 12

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noon. People stared at me through their windows. Cats approached me as I walked, hoping I had food. But when I bent down to pet a stray it hissed loudly and tried to claw me. Kalaupapa is on the shore of a deserted beach. The sand is just steps away. Standing there, you feel like you’re on a deserted island. The waves are perfect for surfing, but no one’s in the water. Walking along the beach, I almost stepped on a sunbathing monk seal. Maneuvering around it, I bade it a Merry Christmas and continued my walk. As I sat on a park bench near the shore two men approached me. They wouldn’t tell me their names. One said he’s lived there “45 years next month” while his friend has been there “about 60 years or so. “I came here in ’41, right after Pearl Harbor,” he said. “We were so close to the attack they moved us out here. At first we hated it, all us kids but after two months you couldn’t get us out of here. We had horseback riding, fishing, hunting and surfing. In Honolulu you was all cooped up. I came at 14 years old.” He was now an old man. I looked down and saw that his fingers on one hand were gone. His hair was neatly combed and he had a little Chihuahua dog with him. “I can’t see my grandkids,” he said, echoing a now familiar line. “So I keep this dog.” Fuesinas Bar is the only entertainment venue in the Kalaupapa settlement. It’s run by a large, frowning Samoan woman who opens the bar when she wants to. She glared at me as I sat eating an ice cream sandwich and reading a magazine. There was no one else in the room. Then a frail old woman entered with her beautiful granddaughter and a caretaker who adorned his body with Kalaupapa-themed tattoos. They began to play cards and drink beer. The grandmother had no fingers and drank her beer by precariously holding the bottle between her palms. Her upper lip was gone. One beer easily tuned into two, then three and four. Her granddaughter and I argued over Noam Chomsky. I sat watching them, amazed at the physical variation in the human body. In just two generations a family went from frail, blind and disfigured to tall and strong with perfect eyesight. Soon the bar closed. Outside it felt like 4 a.m., but it was actually eight at night. There wasn’t a single person on the street. Every house light was dark. Kalaupapa had gone pitch black. I could scarcely see my hand in front of my face. The collective meowing of hundreds of cats was the only sign of life. From the bushes, dozens of glowing feline eyes watched me as I walked away. On Christmas Day, Father Joseph insisted that I accompany him to the local hospital for services. When I mentioned that I’m Jewish, he said simply, “we are all children of one god.” It was a short affair of hymn singing and a brief prayer for peace on earth. Bernard Punikai’i attended, as did Olivia Brethia. Brethia has lived in Kalaupapa since 1937. Her “intake photo” shows a hauntingly beautiful girl with a defiant stare and Mediterranean features, not unlike an older, foxier version of Anne Frank. The photographer made her cross her hands in front of her chest. An unknown hand is holding

information under her chin, like in a mug shot. Her book, Olivia: My Life of Exile recounts her life in the settlement. I don’t know any of these people—I’m not allowed to talk with them—but am familiar with their writings. They are activists and intellectuals. Punikai’i appeared in a coffee table book about people with leprosy, Quest for Dignity: Personal Victories Over Leprosy and Hansen’s Disease. In it he talks about how hearing “the word leper” makes him feel like he is “being slapped in the face. “You have a disease through no fault of your own and it seems like for the rest of your life you are thought of as a leper,” he’s quoted as saying. “All the efforts, all the work that one does towards eliminating the stigma and fear seems to be for naught when you hear these words.” In the book there is also a photo of him as a child, freshly separated from his mother. The child is handsome with light blue eyes. “This picture,” he said in the book, “was taken within a month of my incarceration on Oahu at Kahili Hospital, also knows as Mount Happy Home… [The separation] was very difficult for my mother and myself. One last embrace and I was there with total strangers, six and a half years old and I didn’t know anybody. I was kind of, I guess you would say kind of tough, so during the day it was easy to forget because you have to go to school, you have to go to the doctors and get tests and everything. But at night, the reality sinks in and the loneliness is very, very strong.” In a speech to the International Leprosy Congress in the Netherlands, Punikai’i recounted an episode where he saw a little girl he “recognized as having the beginnings of Hansen’s Disease. I felt inadequate. I wanted to do something. I couldn’t communicate with her. I couldn’t tell her where to go and get help, which is what I really wanted to do. I wanted to say, ‘little girl, please go to this clinic for an examination.’ But I couldn’t… She was beautiful and with treatment, we all know that she would grow up to be a beautiful young woman, get married and not be institutionalized.” Although the minds that penned these words are still razor sharp, their bodies are not. Having suffered a stroke, Punikai’i is wheelchair bound. When he eats, a caretaker has to show him which side of the fork to use. They are on their way out, these last survivors of an inhumane tradition. This may be their last Christmas. MTW

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BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS

Bakery Bound Exploring the decadent delights of Simply Sweets cheesecake ($26.95), moussecake ($30.95), You might say we have a sweet tooth. and purple sweet potato pie ($11.95). It’s just that we love nothing better than By the second day, after swallowing every a freshly baked pie, pastry or loaf of last crumb of sweet fruit danishes, cream puffs bread. And Maui has some fine bakeries. and savory ham ‘n cheese rolls, we were So we decided to take a tour of some of stumped. With pastry dough and custard this them. Unfortunately, we didn’t get very perfect, we just had to know Calibes’ secret. far. The first bakery we walked into was Was it an old family recipe? An extra cube of Simply Sweets. And then we went back butter? Magic?! the next day. And the next. “Quality is the key ingredient,” says Cabiles. Owner and head pastry chef, Jeff “With good ingredients and quality people to Calibes, opened Simply Sweets Bakery on help you, you’re halfway there. But you’ve still Mill Street in Wailuku eight years ago. gotta work hard.” He then moved the shop to Kahului— Simply Sweets’ most popular item is the next door to the 24-Hour Fitness, in Maui-Sadas, based on the malasada—a deepfact—about three years ago. fried, hole-less doughWait a minute. nut of Portuguese origin A bakery next that is rich with eggs, door to a gym— Located at 150 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 893butter and milk, found isn’t that bad for 0700. They are open Mon.-Thurs., 7 a.m.generally at community both businesses? 5:30 p.m.; Fri., 7 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sat., 7 a.m.functions and county “Either they 4 p.m.; Closed Sun. fairs. Cabiles offers his work harder after version plain ($.75) or filled ($.95) with varior before,” Cabiles says, laughing. Ah, ous flavored custards like haupia, banana yes, but they still get their sweets. Got it. cream, cappuccino, chocolate or vanilla. Cabiles has been baking since he gradThe second most popular item, and Cabiles’ uated culinary school in 1980. He personal favorite, is the Ulupalakua Taco. It’s a worked exclusively in Maui’s hotel induscrisp chocolate-almond Florentine cookie try—Marriott, Kea Lani, Grand Wailea shaped like a taco and filled with pastry cream, and others—for 17 years before he then topped with fresh, Ulupalakua strawberries. thought it was time to venture out and do It’s $2.95 and considered Simply Sweets’ tradesomething else. mark item, selling up to 150 decadent tacos a day. On our first day there, we sampled no “The main reason we created the Ulupalakua less than a dozen different breakfast and Taco is because I love almond roca,” says dessert creations. There were the glazed Cabiles. “This is the closest thing to it.” cinnamon rolls ($2.25 for a big one or Cabiles goes to work early in the morning— two mini ones for $.99), fresh fruit we’re talking 3 a.m.—to start mixing dough. He tartlettes ($1.49), assorted muffins says the best part of his job is when the first cus($1.49), vanilla éclairs ($1.65) and cream tomer of the day comes in. Every morning, he horns ($1.85). There were also pies and watches people’s eyes and nostrils grow wide, cakes, like lilikoi chiffon ($10), mango

PHOTO: KIRSTEN GUENTHER

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What? Don’t you have a bigger plate? fortable with it—well, it’s the same with baking.” And what about our tour? Oh, we’ll continue exploring other bakeries. But we’ll always go back to Simply Sweets. And if this keeps up, we might even sign up for membership next door.

overwhelmed with the sight and smell of the freshly baked goods that fill the pastry cases. And every morning, he smiles and waits as they make their sometimes rather difficult decisions. “The most satisfying part is knowing that God has gifted me in baking and that I’m able to give back,” Cabiles says. “Everybody has gifts, and if you recognize it and develop it and you’re com-

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Theatre. 244-0852. $$

Ale House - Wide selection of food with sports and games all around. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877–9001. $

Cupie’s Drive-In - Local lunch take-out. Open Monday through Saturday. 134 W Kamehameha Ave, Kahului, 877-3055. $

Aloha Grill - A large assortment of burgers with veggie styles and all the extras. Dairy Road Marketplace, Kahului, 893–0263. $

Curry in a Hurry - Curry dishes that are delightful and delicious in alternative vegetarian eating. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-3328. $

Ba-Le - French-Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Plus, a large variety of tapioca. 270 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 8772400. $

Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food. Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken katsu. Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. 425 Koloa St., Kahului, 871-7782. $

Bangkok Cuisine - Casual setting featuring exceptional Thai food with plenty of crisp vegetables and fresh seafood. Lunch, dinner or take-out. 395 Dairy Road, Kahului, 893-0026. $

Denny’s - Open 24 hours, serving breakfast, lunch or dinner. Omelettes, burgers, salads. 430 Kele St., Kahului, 873-5550. $

Biwon Restaurant - Fresh and flavorful, authentic Korean food. Open 10 a.m.-10 p.m., lunch and dinner. 752 Lower Main, Wailuku, 244-7788. $ Café Marc Aurel - Offers an elegantly casual menu, including Gourmet Cheeses, Dolmas, Tzaiki and an extensive By-The-Glass wine list. 28 N. Market Street, Wailuku near the Iao

Dragon Dragon Chinese Restaurant - Excellent service and fair prices with dishes like Kung Pao Chicken, Crispy Gau Gee Mein and Honey Walnut Prawns. Maui Mall, Kahului, 893-1628. $ Dish - The concept is simple. Every month, the owner and manager decide on a different “menu” of 14 entrees, of which you may select 12 to assemble in their kitchen. Sessions available Wed-Sat. 150 Hana Highway, Kahului, 877-1414. $$

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

Dunes Restaurant - Adventuresome revisions of local and American breakfast, lunch and dinner favorites. Maui Lani Golf Course, Kahului, 877–7461. $$

grilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, lime juices and island spices. 275 Kaahumanu Ave, Queen Kaahumanu Mall, Kahului, 871-7726. $

Fiesta Time - Superior Mexican taqueria. Order a la carte or combo special with the freshest ingredients. 1132 Lower Main, Wailuku, 249-8463. $

Mike’s Restaurant - Authentic Chinese cooking and ono local grinds. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Also offer catering. 1900 Main St., Wailuku, 244-7888. $

Gardencafe (Brigit & Bernard's) - Oasis of cozy European and fresh island fish cuisine in the midst of the industrial zone. Lunch, dinner, catering. 335 Ho'ohana St., Kahului, 877-6000. $$

Piñata’s - Fresh and wholesome Mexican food from the kitchen sink burritos to quesadillas. Casual dining and various piñatas available, too. 395 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877–8707. $

Ichiban Restaurant and Sushi Bar - Breakfast, lunch and dinner featuring modestly priced Japanese and local cuisine. Kahului Shopping Center, 871–6977. $$

Pulehu BBQ - Local plate lunches with a Southern smokehouse twist. 1500 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 244-4049 or 244-6159. $

International House of Pancakes - (IHOP)- Open for breakfast, specialty pancakes, sandwiches, along with lunch and dinner entrees. Maui Mall, Kahului, 871-4000. $

Ruby’s - Walk down memory lane at this fabulous ‘50s cafe. Old time American dining morning to night. Queen Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 248-7829. $

Little Ceasar Pizza Station - Specialty pizzas along with salads and sandwiches. Located inside of K-mart. 424 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1566. $ Koho Grill & Bar - Comfort food in a casual setting. Breakfast, lunch and dinner Open daily at 7 a.m. 275 Kaahumanu Ave., Queen Kaahumanu Center, 8775588. Kozo Sushi - Fast food take out. Open 9 a.m to 7 p.m. Mon through Sat. Sushi platters available. 52 Market Place, Kahului, 243-5696. $

“WHO HAS

SAID A GREAT MEAL TO BE EXPENSIVE ”

Chef M a rk E llma n’s

Krispy Kreme - This place is known all over the world for its warm, tasty glazed doughnuts. 433 Kele St., Kahului, 893-0883. $ Mama Ding’s Pasteles - This family owned resturant consist of a variety of breads, coconut papaya bread, apple cinnnamon, Puerto Rican sweet bread. Serving breakfast. Open 7 a.m. - 2 p.m.255 Alamaha, Kahului. 877-5796. $ Manaña Garage - Latin American cuisine with unique and colorful decor. Try the Chicken Tortilla Epozote, vegetarian enchilada and paella. Cool, quaint bar. 33 Lono St., Kahului, 873–0220. $$ Marco’s Grill Deli - A lavish and beautiful setting complements the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 444 Hana Hwy, Kahului, 877-4486. $$ Maui Coffee Roasters - Ono grinds and freshly roasted coffee in a fun and casual atmosphere makes this the place to take five. 444 Hana Hwy, Kahului, 877–CUPS. $ Maui Beach Hotel - Buffet-style restaurant featuring different foods each night of the week. Features range from Shabu Shabu (tons of meat) to sushi and Japanese. 170 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului, 877-0051. $$ Maui Mix Plate - Traditional foods of the varied ethnic groups who call Hawaii home. 70 Ka’ahumanu Ave, Kahului, 877-0706. $ Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with char-

Saeng’s Thai Cuisine - Vegetarian, meat and seafood Thai entrees in a casual garden setting. 2119 Vineyard, Wailuku, 244-1567. $$ Saigon Cafe - Wailuku’s hidden secret! Delicious and affordable Vietnamese cuisine with excellent service. 1792 Main, Wailuku, 243-9560. $$ Sam Sushi - Located inside Wow-Wee Cafe with over 20 years of experience in the food industry. Catering and party trays available. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 873-6400. $ Sandalwood Golf Course Restaurant - Lunch with a view, served from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. 2500 Honoapiilani Hwy, Waikapu, 242-6000. $$ Sheik’s Restaurant - Local favorites including Loco Moco and Shoyu Chicken. 97 Wakea Ave, Kahului, 877-0121. $ Simply Sweets Bakery - Delicious pastries and cakes, savory filled rolls, fresh breads and deli sandwiches. Open M-Th, 7 a.m. - 5:30 p.m.; Fr, 7 a.m.-6:30 p.m.; Sat, 7 a.m.-4p.m. 150 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 8930700. $ Siu’s Chinese Kitchen - Fast food Chinese with daily specials. All entrees are served with rice or noodles. 70 E Kaaumanu Ave., Maui Mall, 871-0828. $ Squeaky’s Family Restaurant - “A Taste of Philadelphia” with real Philly cheesesteak, pan fried trout, vegetarian meatloaf. Open for breakfast. 197 North Market Street, Wailuku, 244-4100. $ Stillwell’s Bakery & Cafe - Specialty cakes and desserts, breads and pastries, with sandwiches, salads and soups for lunch. Open 6 a.m.-4 p.m. Mon-Sat. 1740 Kaahumanu Ave, Wailuku, 243-2243. $ Sushi Go - Presents a concept unlike anything we’ve seen on Maui: Conveyor-belt sushi. Queen Ka'ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744. $ Sub Paradise - Maui’s famous subs since 1990. An extensive list of breakfast bagels, sub sandwiches and salads. Open M-F, 7 a.m.-7 p.m.; Sat, 7 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sun, 7 a.m.-4 p.m. 395 E. Dairy Rd., 877-8779.

Finding your perfect match is easier than washing dishes.

Beer & Wine We now have Brown Rice Pasta! Wheat & Gluten Free! 50¢ extra / Cooked to order so it takes a few minutes longer

661-6633 • 180 Dickenson Street • Lahaina 14

JANUARY 6, 2005

DINING

Pastas, Salads, Pizzas, Sandwiches and Nightly Seafood Specials with nothing over $12.95

And much more fun! Call to place your ad

1-800-710-7835

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

$$→$20-$40

Takamiya Market - Plate lunches, homemade corned beef, sashimi, tossed salads. Catering and banquet facility. Happy Valley, Wailuku, 2443404. $ Tasty Crust - Local style cuisine for breakfast (try their famous hotcakes), lunch and dinner. Serving Maui since 1944. 1770 Mill, Wailuku, 244-0845. $ Tiffany’s - Featuring 103 items of local and Asian entrees, Bento boxes, noodles and fish. Featuring DJ and Karaoke, open 10:30-2 a.m. 1424 Lower Main St. Wailuku 249-0052. $ Tin Ying Chinese Restaurant - A Hong Kong style Chinese seafood restaurant. They have over 100 menu choices at reasonable prices. Buffet style lunch take-out, as well as sit down dining. 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-4371. $ Tokyo Tei - Lunch and dinner featuring teriyaki beef and fish, tempura, katsu, saimin and more. 1063 E. Lower Main St., Wailuku, 2429630. $ Valley Isle Seafood - Known for their luau stew, along with several choices of seafood. 475 Hukilike St., Kahului, 873-4847. $ Wei Wei BBQ & Noodle House - Very affordable Chinese cuisine, counter-service, delicious noodle dishes. 210 Imikala St., Wailuku, 242-7928. $ Wow-Wee Maui Cafe - Unique candy bars, ice cream shakes, bagels, coffees, sandwiches and soups. Also a Hawaiian menu, kava kava, sushi and oxygen bars. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1414. $

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

on Monday and Saturday. Fuhgeddaboudit! 1945 S Kihei Rd., 875–0188. $$

featuring Pacific Rim seafood. Breakfast, lunch, pupus and dinner. Open 8 a.m.-9 p.m. 2960 S. Kihei Rd., 879–2607. $$

Big Wave Cafe - Small cafe serving Pacific Rim cuisine, including lobster and sweet corn fritter with furikake tartar sauce, and coconut shrimp with fruit salsa and ginger lilikoi sauce. Open daily. 1215 S Kihei Rd., 891-8688. $

Harry’s Sushi Bar - Japanese cuisine with fresh and delicious sushi. Open 5 p.m.-12 a.m. 100 Ike Drive, Wailea, 879-7677. $$ Horhitos Mexican Cantina - Burritos, salads, appetizer and “food for gringos,” too. Located next to Hapa’s Nightclub. Open 5 p.m. to 2 a.m. Mon.-Sat. Lipoa St., Kihei, 891-MEXI. $

Bistro Molokini - Blend of California and island cuisine, lunch and dinner. Poolside. Grand Wailea, 8751234. $$ Bocalino Bistro & Bar - Affordably priced Mediterranean cuisine. Open for dinner. Late night menu served until 1 a.m. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-9299. $$

Hula Moon - Enjoy breakfast, lunch, dinner or a champagne Sunday brunch with an open air tropical setting and spectacular ocean views. Featuring fresh Hawaiian fish. 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-7831. $$$

Blue Marlin Harbor Front Grill & Bar - Get amazing seafood, steaks, sandwiches, pizza and sushi. Eat outdoors overlooking the Ma’alaea Fishing Fleet. Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-8844. $$

Humuhumunukunukuapua’a -Hawaiian and Polynesian cuisine oceanside. Grand Wailea Resort, 875-1234 ext. 4900. $$$

Buzz’s Wharf - Steaks, seafood and more, including Sweet Paradise Prawns. Reservations recommended. Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-5426. $$

Jawz Tacos - Island-style tacos and burritos, including choice of vegetarian, mahi mahi, ono, shrimp, chicken or steak. Impressive salsa bar and the taco salads are da bomb! 1280 S Kihei Rd., 874-TACO. $

Cafe Kiowai - Authentic Japanese fare according to centuries-old tradition. Casual dining in a relaxed garden setting. 5400 Makena Alanui, Maui Prince Hotel, 874--1111.$$ Caffe Ciao - Italian cuisine baked in a Kiawe wood oven. Open for lunch and dinner. Dine outdoors poolside. The Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 875-4100. $$ Capische? - Contemporary Italian with a twist and an extensive wine list. Commanding ocean views from every table. Wailea Diamond Resort, 879–2224. $$$ Cafe Del Sol - Sandwiches and fresh fish, daily special. Open for breakfast and lunch. 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. 3620 Baldwin Ave, Makowa 572-4877. $

Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Affordable takeout seafood, chicken, ribs—all deep fried tempura style or grilled. 1913 S Kihei Rd., 874-0788. $ Antonio’s - Italian cuisine in a cozy atmosphere, extensive wine list and friendly service. Trust me--try the Tiramisu. 1215 S. Kihei Rd., 875-8800. $$ Aroma D’Italia Ristorante - Southern Italian cuisine and full wine list at reasonable prices. Open Mon-Sat, 5-9 p.m. 1881 S Kihei Rd., 8790133. $$ Ashley’s South Shore Cafe - Affordable breakfast, lunch and dinner with burgers, local plates, fresh island fish, comfort foods and deli sandwiches. 362 Hukulii Pl. (behind Tesoro gas station), Kihei, 874-8600. $ BadaBing! - Home of the Rat Pack Bar. Pizzas, pastas and Italian specialties created with love and a little attitude. $10 wines and kids eat free

Pita Paradise - Good food served fast. Serving up a mean Mediterranean-style “gyro,” salads and wraps, with outdoor lanai. Kihei Kalama Village Center, 875–7679. $ Royal Thai Cuisine - Thai food with a large selection of vegetarian dishes. Open for lunch (Mon-Fri) and dinner (nightly). 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0813. $

Kihei Caffe - Affordable breakfast and lunch with lanai seating, hearty portions, tasty sandwiches, huli chicken and fresh fish. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 879-2230. $

Sarento’s on the Beach - Contemporary dining near the water’s edge. Italian cuisine, very romantic. Private VIP table available. 2980 S. Kihei Rd., 875–7555. $$$

Ma`alaea Grill - Reasonably priced fine dining overlooking the harbor from the Maui Ocean Center. Ma`alaea Harbor Village, 243–2206. $$

Fernando’s - Authentic Mexican food. Open 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 879-9952. $

Nick’s Fishmarket - Fine dining in open air and elegance with amazing seafood dishes and fresh fish. Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 879–7224. $$$

Sansei Restaurant - Japanese-based Pacific Rim dining, sushi bar and late night menu. Award-winning cuisine, early bird and late night special. 1881 S. Kihei Rd., 879–0004. $$ K

LuLu’s - Ribs, burgers, chicken wings, Black ‘n Blue Ahi and more in a fun, upbeat tiki-fied atmosphere with a huge bar and open-air deck. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9944. $

Enrique’s Resturant - Athentic Mexican Food. Fajitas, Seafood, Shrimp Tequilia Fish Tacos, Enchiladas, Tamales, Burritos, Vegetarian. Open M-Sa 10 am - 9pm Su 10 am - 8pm. 2395 S. Kihei Rd 112. 875-2910. $

Mulligan’s on the Blue - Maui’s authentic Irish pub, plenty o’Irish food, whiskey and beer. Breakfast served till 3 p.m 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874–1131. $

Kai Ku Ono - A tapas-style menu, where everything is a la carte, special late night menu and sushi. Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner with bar and lounge area. 2511 S Kihei Rd., 875–1007. $$

Longhi’s Wailea - Seafood, meat and pasta entrees with many not listed on the menu. Ask the server for details. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891–8883. $$$

Denny’s - Open 24 hours for breakfast, lunch or dinner with omelets, burgers, salads. 2763 S. Kihei Rd., 879-8600.

Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, lime juices and spices from the islands. 2411 S. Kihei Road, Kamaole Beach Center, 879-5005. $

Joy’s Place - “Smart eating” featuring organic foods which are low fat, low salt and wheat free. Open Mon thru Sat, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. 1993 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9258. $

Lobster Cove - Seafood, steak and lobster at its best in a relaxed and casual atmosphere. Open 5 p.m. to midnight daily. 100 Ike Dr., Wailea, 879–7677. $$$

Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food. Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken katsu. Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. 2439 S Kihei Rd., 875-7782. $

shave ice, a full service coffee kiosk, fruit smoothies and shakes. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0414. $

Roy’s Bar & Grill - Mouth-watering Hawaiian fusion entrees in a spacious and upbeat atmosphere. Open nightly from 5:30 to 10 p.m. Fine dining, reservations recommended. Piilani Shopping Center, 303 Piikea Ave., Kihei, 891-1120. $$$

Life’s a Beach - Food and drinks in a fun atmosphere. Nachos, burritos, prime rib and grilled mahi mahi are just some of the specialties. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., 891–8010. $

Cyberbean Internet Cafe - Gourmet coffee, espressos, cappucinos, lattes, sandwiches, smoothies and salads. 1881 S Kihei, 879-4799. $

SOUTH MAUI

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

Ma’alaea Waterfront Restaurant - Seafood and Continental cuisine. Open for dinner daily from 5 p.m. Milowai Condominium, 50 Hauoli St., 244-9028. $$

Ferraro’s - Gourmet Italian cuisine oceanfront with live violin and guitar, outdoor kiawe-wood-burning oven, all-day lunches and cucina rustica dinners. Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. $$$

Marco’s South Side Grill - A lavish and beautiful setting complements the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 1445 S Kihei Rd., 874–4041. $$

Five Palms Restaurant - Local produce and fish

Maui Espresso & Shave Ice - Finest Hawaiian

Seawatch - Hawaii regional cuisine utilizing the freshest island fish and produce. Open for breakfast and lunch 8 a.m to 3 p.m, dinner 5:30 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Drive, Wailea, 875-8080. $$ Shabu Shabu Toji - Healthy and delicious Japanese style fondue. Beef, Pork, or Seafood, and veggies. Open for lunch Wed-Fri; dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m. nightly. 1280 S. Kihei Rd. #120, 875-8366. $ Spago - Gourmet cuisine as presented by worldfamous chef-owner Wolfgang Puck. Oceanfront dining at its finest! Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. $$$ Spices - Steak, seafood and more! Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8860. $$$ Stella Blues Cafe - Healthy, quality food in a casual, homestyle setting. Breakfast, lunch and dinner with daily specials. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-3779. $$ South Shore Tiki Lounge - Killer burgers, sausage sandwiches, mai-tais and the best pizza. Awesome outdoor seating on the Aloha Jungle Lanai. Open 11 a.m. - 2 a.m. serving food 'till midnite! Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444 $

Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner Open Daily: 7:30am - 1am Dinner Served 5pm - 10pm Full Bar - Late Night 10pm - close

Homestyle New American Comfort Food Vegetarian Selections

Locally Raised Grass Fed Beef

Fresh Local Fish

Homemade Desserts

WHERE PEOPLE & FOOD OF GOOD TASTE COME TOGETHER! In Our New Location - Azeka II - 874-3779

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JANUARY 6, 2005

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

Sports Page Bar & Grill - Over 100 menu items, including 1/2 lb burgers and deli sandwhiches with 24 T.V.’s, and a full bar. Open 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. 2411 S. Kihei Rd, 879-0602. $ Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Cafe - Relaxed island luxury in ambience and cuisine, with ocean views and live music. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983. $$ Tony Roma’s - Famous for ribs, barbequed chicken and onion ring loaf, along with daily special. 1819 S. Kihei Road, 875-1104. $$ Vietnamese Cuisine - Hawaiian Opakapaka filet, soft shell crab, New York steak. Open 10:30 a.m-9:30 p.m. Azeka Place I, Kihei, 8752088. $$ Yorman’s By The Sea - Southern Pacific Cusine with a blend of Louisiana Cajun and tropical flare. Open 5-10 pm. Music nightly. 760 S. Kihei Rd, Kihei 874-8385. $$ K

UPCOUNTRY Anthony’s Coffee Company - A full espresso bar, hot and cold sandwiches, ice cream. Make sure to stop in for a great box lunch to go! 90 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-8340. $ Aha’Aina - Oceanfront dining, featuring a delicious chili pork burrito and a large variety of omelets. Island fish, chicken Katsu. Open for breakfast and lunch only. Tue-Sat, 7a.m.-2 p.m.; Sun, 7 a.m.-1 p.m. 7 Aewa Place, Pukalani, 5722395. $$ Café 808 - Local diner-style serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Open daily from 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. 4566 Lower Kula Rd., Kula, 878-6874. $ Cafe O’Lei - Featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch, delicious salads, focaccia sandwiches. 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Makawao Paniolo Courtyard, 573-9065. $$

$$→$20-$40

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

Café Des Amis - Charming cafe with delicious sweet and savory crepes and Mediterranean fare. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-6323. $ Café Mambo - International bistro featuring Mediterranean and Mexican cuisine with Moorish influences. 30 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8021. $ Cakewalk Paia Bakery - High quality baked goods, sandwiches and specialty cakes. 2 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8770. $ Casanova - First class service, first class food. Fine Italian dining at night and Makawao’s favorite deli by day. 1188 Makawao Ave., 572–0220. $$ Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon - Hankering for some grub? Charley’s serves it hearty and healthy from breakfast to dinner and beyond. 142 Hana Hwy., Paìa, 579–9453. $ K Colleen’s - 1940’s style urban bistro serving breakfast, lunch and dinner from 6 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. daily. Haiku Cannery, 575-9211. $$ Fresh Mint - Vietnamese vegetarian cuisine including Summer Rolls, Spicy Lemongrass Soup and Soy Fish in Clay Pot. Open daily 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Catering and take-out available. 115 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 5799144. $ Haliìmaile General Store - Gourmet dining in a charming atmosphere with food from Chef Beverly Gannon’s award-winning menu. 900 Haliìmaile Rd, 572–2666. $ Hana Hou Cafe - Hawaiian homestyle cooking with aloha-filled ambience and local musicians. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-2661. $ Island Tacos - Taco stand with fresh, made-to-order fish, beef and chicken tacos. Daily from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery. $ Jacque’s Northshore Bistro - Tropical yet festive atmosphere, with a sushi bar, indoor and lanai dining. 120 Hana Hwy, Paìa, 579–8844. $$ Jameson’s Grill & Bar - Featuring fine steaks, fresh local fish and seafood, and of course, baked arti-

.00

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DELIVERY • 7 DAYS • 11am to 10pm

choke. 200 Kapalua Dr., Kapalua, 669-5653. $$$ Kimura Saimin Shop - Casual atmosphere, simple, affordable menu with fresh ingredients done right! 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-5228. $ Kitada’s - Saimin for breakfast is a standard. Teriyaki beef, hamburger steak, tofu and teriyaki all available. 3617 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572–7241. $ Kula Lodge & Restaurant - Upcountry’s familystyle restaurant with sweeping views of the island. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Haleakala Highway, 878-1535. $ La Provence - French-style bistro and patisserie with lanai, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Open Wed thru Sun, 8:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. 3158 Lower Kula Rd., 878-1313. $$ Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks, smoothies. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. Sun thru Thu; 6 a.m. to midnight Fri and Sat. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009. $ Lynne’s Cafe - Affordable homestyle local food including breakfast, plate lunch, chow fun and more! Catering available. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-9363. $ Makawao Steak House - Classic and comfortable menu with daily fish preparations and salad bar. 3612 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572-8711. $$ Mama’s Fish House - Fresh island fish with fresh local ingredients at “Maui’s favorite restaurant.” 799 Poho Pl., Kuau, 579–8448. $$$ Maui’s Best Tamales & Local Food - Authentic, fresh and tasty Mexican cuisine along with local favorites. 81 Makawao Ave., Pukalani Square, 5732998. $ Milagros Food Co. - South American cuisine with an island influence. Best people watching spot in Pa`ia! Extensive tequila menu and delicious daily special. 3 Baldwin St., Paia, 579–8755. $ Moana Bakery & Cafe - Pacific Rim dining for vegetarians and meat eaters. Bakery provides wonderful goodies for the sweet tooth. 71 Baldwin Ave., Pa`ia,

WRITERS WANTED MauiTime Weekly seeks Freelance writers to cover stimulating community interest stories.

Send resume & samples to: 658 Front Street. #126A-7278 Lahaina, HI 96761 fax: 661-0446 email: editor@mauitime.com

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DINING

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BUY 1 ENTREE GET SECOND ENTREE

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EMPLOYEE OF THE

WEEK A S T O L D T O S A R A H E LW E L L

Kalei Uaiwa Server at the Blue Marlin I like working at Blue Marlin because we have a good consistent kitchen and you get a lot of good food at a good price. I also like the fact that we have lots of TV’s [for] major sporting events and live Hawaiian music on the weekends. Most of all, I love the fact that I can be at work and see so many whales in the channel during whale season. I started working for the Blue Marlin about four years ago. I had been working for Buzz’s Wharf for about three years when one of the owners decided to open Blue Marlin in the shopping center at Ma’alaea. I used to work more dinner shifts at night, but now I like working during the day and serving lunch so I have more time to coach my eight-year-old daughter’s basketball team and spend time with my family. I like working in the relaxed atmosphere of Blue Marlin. Everybody who works here pulls together as a team and doesn’t mind multitasking to make it all happen. I enjoy working with such a tight crew who will do anything to get the job done. Our regular crowd consists mainly of people who work in the harbor and crew on the boats. Most of our regular customers like to come for our saimin, chopped steak, sashimi and poke. I personally like our macadamia nut encrusted fresh fish with fresh papaya or mango salsa the best. We always have the freshest fish and buy it straight from the fishing boats that work out of Ma’alaea Harbor. We don’t spend money on advertising so we rely on word of mouth. Many of the regular customers send us business from people who go on the boats. Many of the tourists come for our fish and chips because we always feature fresh battered mahi mahi or ono caught the same day. People also like our chowder and ceviche because it’s fresh and a lot of places don’t serve it here on Maui. Many times we accommodate customers with special orders. MTW

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

$$→$20-$40

579–9999. $ Pa`ia Fish Market - By serving fresh local Hawaiian fish daily, they are the hot spot for seafood lovers without the upscale pocket. 100 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia, 579–8030. $ Pauwela Cafe & Bakery - Healthy, low fat deli cuisine and daily fresh baked goods. Open 7 a.m.- 2:30 p.m. 375 West Kuiaha Road Unit 37 Haiku. 878-6533. $ Polli’s Mexican Restaurant - Paniolo country’s premier Mexican cantina, with nachos, burritos, ensaladas and more! 1202 Makawao Ave., 572-7808. $ SandBar & Grill - Casual contemporary island cuisine, featuring salads, kiawe grill burgers, sandwiches and lobster tacos. Full bar, happy hour everyday 4-6 p.m. Open daily from 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. 89 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-8742. $ Vasi Gourmet - The best cakes and patries around, along with delicious salads, quiches and Gyro’s with a variety of teas. open 7 a.m.-8 p.m. 810 Kokomo Road, Haiku Market Place. 5759588. $ Veg Out - Vegan and vegetarian food, from Mexican, Italian and Far East influences. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-5320. $

WEST MAUI A&J Kitchen, Deli & Bakery - Choose from American, Hawaiian, Korean and Chinese cuisines. Bakery with cakes and cookies. Lahaina Center, 667–0623. $ Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Seafood, chicken, ribs, deep fried tempura style or grilled. Great food great prices. 844 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, 667-9009. $ Aloha Mixed Plate - Experience the traditional foods of the varied ethnic groups who call Hawaii home. 285 Front St., Lahaina, 661-3322. $

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

Blue Lagoon - Casual dining with local grinds and bar, surrounded by waterfalls and palm trees. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661–8141. $ Breakwall Cafe - Serving breakfast, coffee, sandwiches, salads, smoothies. Open everyday 7 a.m.-2 p.m. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-7220. $ Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. - Fine Southern foods, with “Forrest Gump” movie memorabilia and logo wear in a lively, casual atmosphere. 889 Front St., Lahaina, 661–3111. $$ Cafe O’Lei - Oceanfront dining featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch and dinner. Delicious salads and Focaccia sandwiches. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661–9491. $$ Cafe Sauvage - Gourmet, hearty, satisfying fare in an unpretentious setting. Extensive beer and wine menu, after-dinner cordials, and desserts! 844 Front St., Lahaina, 661–7600. $$ K Canoes - Casual yet elegant dining serving Polynesian style steaks, and seafood. Lunch 11 a.m.2:30 p.m., dinner 5-9 p.m. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 661–0937. $$ Captain Dave Fish & Chips - Classic baskets of fish and chips. Open daily. 126 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-6700. $

Gazebo Restaurant - Full breakfast and lunch menu, casual atmosphere and beautiful oceanside setting. 5315 Lower Honoapiilani Rd, Napili, 669-5621. $ Gerard’s - Fine French dining in downtown Lahaina. Rich, flavorful yet light foods await your taste buds. 174 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 661–8939. $$$

House of Saimin - Ono homemade saimin, chicken sticks, and Haupia pie are just some of the local favorites here. Old Lahaina Center, 667–7572. $ Hula Grill - Barefoot bar and beachside dining, 1940s style. Menu is a seafood lovers delight. Whaler’s Village, Kaanapali, 667–6636. $$ i`o - Pacific Rim cuisine among awesome sunset views, and indoor or outdoor dining. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661–8422. $$$

Giovani’s Tomato Pie Ristorante - Fine Italian dining located. Open for dinner. 2291 Kaanapali Prkwy, 661-3160. $$

Island Tacos - The best soft shell tacos ever! Choice of beef, fish, pork or chicken. Served with black beans, fresh cabbage, cheese. onions and jalapenos. Open Late night. 744 Luakini St., Lahaina. $

Hard Rock Cafe - Good American food at decent prices amongst rock ‘n roll memorabilia. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667–7400. $

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Coffee bar and cafe with great food, eclectic atmosphere, lounge ambience. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 3350 Lower

China Boat - The best Mandarin Szechwan cuisine on Maui, open for lunch and dinner. 4474 L. Honoapiilani Road, Kahana Gateway Shopping Center, 669-5089. $

Coconut Grove - Steak, seafood and other island favorites. Next to Lahaina Cannery Mall. Open 5:30-9 p.m. 1312 Front Street, Lahaina, 661-5648.

Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Wide variety of tapioca. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-5566. $

Compadres Bar & Grill - Western cooking with a Mexican accent. Oceanview dining and Margarita bar. Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189. $

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Deep-dish specialty pizzas and homemade Pizookies with live music nightly. Overlooking Lahaina Town with ocean view. 730 Front St., 661-0700. $

Gaby’s Pizzeria - Casual Italian dining with pizza and pasta from $6-$25. Open 11 a.m. to 12 a.m. daily. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8112. $

Hecocks - Italian restaurant and cocktail lounge oceanside. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8810. $$ K

Chez Paul Restaurant - Fine dining French cuisine, open for dinner only. Romantic setting. Call for reservations. 820 Olowalu Rd., Olowalu, 661-3843. $$$ K

The Bakery - Fresh baked breads and pastries. Soup and sandwiches available. 991 Limahana Pl., Lahaina, 667-9062. $

Basil Tomato’s Italian Grill - Specializing in Northern Italian cuisine. Come in for the ambience, stay for the delightful dining experience. 2780 Kekaa Dr., Kaanapali, 662-3210. $$

Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie - Maui’s own restaurant brewery, with rotisserie grill, featuring steak, seafood and ambience. Also, late-night menu served until 1:30 a.m.! 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana, 669-3474. $$

Hawaiian Village Coffee - Old-Hawaiian styled coffeehouse with pastries, smoothies, salads and sandwiches, quiche Open 5:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. daily. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy. Kahana Gateway Shopping Center, 665-1114. $

Cilantro - Fresh Mexican Grill island fish, tacos and burritos. Mexican food beyond the border. 170 Papalaua St., Lahaina, 667-5444. $

CJ’s Deli & Diner - Reasonably priced comfort foods like Reuben sandwiches, pot roast, freshly baked pies and more. Open daily. 2580 Kekaa Dr., Fairway Shops, Kaanapali, 667-0968. $

Banyan Tree - “Eclectic Pacific cuisine with a Hawaiian twist.” Lodge atmosphere, ocean views. Ritz Carlton Kapalua, 669–6200. $$$

Feast At Lele - A royal tour of the cuisine of Polynesian sharing the spotlight with music and dance from four Pacific islands. 505 Front Street, Lahaina, 667-5353. $$$

Castaway Cafe - Beachside, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Soups, salads, pasta. Maui Kaanapali Villas & Resort, 661-9091. $

Athens Greek Restaurant - Affordable and authentic gyros, shish kebab, falafel and more. Ya’Sou! Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-4300. $

Bamboo Bar & Grill - Vietnamese, Thai and Japanese sushi. Delivery available, great daily special. Open late with full bar, pool tables. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4051. $ K

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

Cool Cat Cafe - ‘50s-style diner with lanai. Delicious burgers and sandwiches, huge salads and fountain desserts. Lahaina Wharf Center, 667-0908. $ K David Paul’s Lahaina Grill - Fine Pacific Rim cuisine in the intimate dining room on the ground floor of the Lahaina Inn. 127 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 667–5117. $$$ K Dollie’s Pub & Cafe - Pizza, sandwiches, salads and full bar. Open daily 11 a.m. to midnight. 4310 L. Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana Manor Shops, 669-0266. $ Erik’s Seafood & Sushi - Fresh seafood and sushi—great steamers! Open nightly with live entertainment. Half off Sushi Sundays. 843 Wainee St., Lahaina, 662-8780. $$

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667-0908

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$→$10-$20

$$→$20-$40

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

Honoapiilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787. $

and macaroni salad. Napili Plaza, 665–6262. $

Jonny’s Burger Joint - Great burgers, as well as Mexican food, salads and fried items, served until midnight, with bar and pool table. 2395 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kaanapali, 661-4500. $

Mango Cafe - Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. American cusine, along with some local favorites. Full bar Nightly specials. 7:30 am - 10 pm. 2290 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-1929. $$ K

Kahuna Kabob - Healthy food, low prices! Soups, brown rice, veggies and kabobs And they deliver. Lahaina Marketplace, 661–9999. $ K

Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, lime juices and spices from the Islands. 840 Wainee Street 661-8883 Lahaina (and Napili). $

Kimo’s - Fresh fish, prime rib, and their famous Hula Pie, oceanside dining. Live entertainment daily. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661–4811. $$ Kobe - Japanese Steak House and Oku’s Sushi Bar, featuring teppanyaki cooking and fabulous sushi. Dinner nightly from 5:30-10 p.m., Sushi 5:30-11:30 p.m. 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 667-5555. $$ Lahaina Coolers - Off the beaten path surf bistro. Good food, good quality, late night menu. 80 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661–7082. $ Lahaina Fish Co. - Chef’s signature Pacific Rim specialties prepared with fresh island fish. Dine on the oceanside lanai. 831 Front St., Lahaina, 661–3472. $$ Leilani’s On The Beach - Relaxed beachfront dining, specializing in fresh seafood and Pacific Rim cuisine. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-4495. $$ Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks, smoothies. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. Daily. 612 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4213. $ Longhi’s - Elegant fine dining, freshest ingredients, pasta, seafood and steaks. 888 Front St., Lahaina, 667–2288. $$$ MaLa - Oceanfront dining. Organic whole grains cusine, from clams and lobster soup to chicken tikka, beet and goat cheese salads.Full bar. 1307 Front Street, Lahaina, 667-9394. $$ Mama’s Ribs & Rotisserie - Serving ribs and roasted chicken, BBQ baked beans, coleslaw

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

Pho Saigon 808 - Vietnamese cuisine, Saigon steaks, vegetarian delight. Open 7 days a week. 658 Front St., Wharf Cinema Center, 661-6628. $

sandwiches and hamburgers along with a full bar. Open 11:30 a.m. - 10 p.m. 927 Wainee St. Lahaina, 667-7005. $

Pioneer Inn - Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily, with live entertainment nightly. 659 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636. $

Spats Trattoria - Step into old Northern Italy. Tables are private and the Antipasto serves two. Hyatt Regency, Kaanapali, 667–4727. $$$

Pad Thai - Delicious Påd Thai, among many other items. Open daily. 658 Front St., Lahaina, $

Sports Club Kahana Grill - Upscale, healthy restaurant inside Sports Club Kahana. Breakfast, lunch and take-out. 4327 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Rd., Kahana, 669-3538. $$

Moose McGillycuddy’s - Great value, large portions, all you can eat specials, merry atmosphere and a large bar. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667–7758. $

Pizza Paradiso - Award-winning pasta dishes, tossto-order salads, big fat Greek gyros, homemade tiramisu and panna cotta. Honokowai Marketplace, 667-2929; $

Mr. Sub Sandwiches - Speciality sandwiches made to order, with salads and homemade soups. 129 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-5683. $

Plantation House Restaurant - HawaiianMediterranean cuisine. Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily. 2000 Plantation Club Dr., Kapalua, 669-6299. $

Nachos Grande - Fresh Mexican food, fast. Vegetarian, too. Honokowai Marketplace, 662–0890. $

Reilley’s - Known for their choice award-winning beef. Gourmet steaks and seafood. Open at 5:30 pm 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Ste #304 Kahana, 667-7477 $$$

Nalu Sunset Bar & Sushi - Sushi rolls, sashimi, various Japanese appetizer, sandwiches and more. Maui Marriott, Kaanapali, 667–1200 ext. 51. $$ Okazuya Deli - Quality Japanese plate lunch. The best lemon caper mahi mahi and Okinawan potato tempura ever! Open 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. and 4:30 to 9 p.m. 3600 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Honokowai, 665-0512. $ Ono’s Surf Bar & Grill - Casual poolside dining. Now featuring reasonably priced tapas-Hawiian style menu.for supper and late night dining. 6:30 am10pm.The Westin Maui, Ka’anapali, 667-2525. $ Outback Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimp-onthe-barbie, and the Bloomin’ Onion in a casual and lively atmosphere. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kahana, 6651822. $$ Pacific’O - Elegant oceanfront award-winning contemporary Pacific cuisine. Live jazz on weekends. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4341. $$$ Penne Pasta - Mark Ellman’s inexpensive Italian bistro with homestyle pasta, pizza and salad. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661–6633. $

Happy Hour Daily From 2-5 PM

$2.50 Well Drinks $3.50 Margaritas $1.50 Bud Lights

Sunrise Cafe - Casual and cozy outdoor lanai, serving American food from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. daily. 693 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8558. $ Swan Court - One of the top 10 romantic restaurants in the world, with an extensive list of contemporary fine wines. Hyatt Regency, Kaanapali, 667–4727. $$$ Take Sushi - Open late night for late night sushi lovers. Full menu and daily special. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4051. $

Roy’s Bar & Grill - This fine dinning restaurant has mouth-watering Hawaiian fusion entrees in a spacious upbeat atmosphere. Open nightly from 5:30p.m.10p.m.4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy. Kahana 669-6999. $$$

Terrace Restaurant - Open from 6:30-11 a.m. serving breakfast only. Elegant dining, buffet-style rotating menu ranging from “Breakfast on the Farm” to “Hawaiian Plantation-Style Breakfast.” Ritz Carlton, Kapalua, 669-6200. $$$

Rusty Harpoon Restaurant and Tavern Quench thirst, satiate hunger and watch sports. Large parties welcome. Whalers Village, Kaanapali, 661–3123. $$

Thai Chef - Thai food like you’ve never had it, with curry, Pad Thai, summer rolls and more. Old Lahaina Center, 667–2814. $

Ruth’s Chris Steak House - USDA prime steak and fine wines. Dinner served nightly. 5 p.m. - 10 p.m. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8815. $$$

Tropica - Oceanfront dining on Ka’anapali Beach, features sizzling steaks, fresh fish, prepared in variety of styles. Specialty entrees, appetizers and deserts. 5:309:30pm. Westin, Kaanapali, 667–2525. $$

Sansei Seafood Restaurant and Sushi Bar D.K. Kodama has combined the highest quality sushi bar infused with Hawaii’s cultural flavors. 115 Bay Drive, Kapalua, 669–6286. $$ K

Vino - Comfort and contemporary cuisine featuring fresh pasta and an extensive wine list. Open for dinner nightly from 5:30 p.m. Village Course Clubhouse, Kapalua, 661-8466. $$$

Sea House Restaurant - Looking out over incredible Napili Bay, dining is an amazing experience here under the direction of Chef Michael Gallagher. 5900 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Hwy., Napili, 669–1500. $$

Vinny’s Pizza - Authentic New York style pizza, calzones and heros. Open 7 Days. Delivery 11 a.m. - 10 p.m. 840 Wainee St. Lahaina Square, Lahaina. 6616773.$

Smoke House - Delicious barbeque, ribs, chicken,

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DINING

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Olivia Saturday, 6 p.m. at Hope Chapel, Kihei [MUSIC] There was a time when I was growing up when the words “Christian” and “Punk Rock” were rarely spoken with the same breath. I remember one band from L.A. called Circle One who used to have a hardcore following and their singer was a Christian but that was kind of weird, even then. Perhaps punk rock has changed or Christians and the church have changed their attitude towards them. Probably, it is a little bit of both. Originally from the North Shore of Oahu, but now living in San Diego, Christian pop-punks Olivia are coming to Maui, along with Pennylane from Kauai. Best friends while growing up, the guys from Olivia discovered the joys of punk at a Pennywise show. Inspired by this, Reed, Gabe, Justin and Christian bought the best instruments they could afford and taught themselves to rock. Their persistence paid off. After five successful tours on the mainland, they signed to Essential Records, a subsidiary of BMG. Their debut record will drop on Jan. 18. Already, these surf-crazy kids have seen their single “Shut it Out” quickly move up the Christian radio charts. Having played with bands such as Dashboard Confessional, Homegrown and multi-platinum artists Switchfoot and P.O.D., Olivia promises to put on a high-energy show. In fact, a fascinating aspect of the band is the love and respect Olivia has for its audience. All the fans I’ve spoke to mention how friendly the guys are and how willing they are to hang out with their fans. “The best part of our show happens off-stage,” said one guy. “It happens through conversations with people after our show. The music plants the seed, but the true ministry occurs as we develop a relationship with our new friends.” [STEPHEN R. HART]

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JANUARY 6, 2005

ThIS WEEK’S PICKS by Samantha Campos

Stomp

Michael Franti

Thursday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday, 2 p.m. at the Castle Theater, MACC

Friday, 10 p.m. at Hapa’s

[STAGE] I have a friend who says the best birthday he had was a couple years ago when he went to see “Stomp.” It’s not surprising—he’s a hand percussionist (translation: he plays the congas) so he was giddy with this modern dance troupe’s use of “pipes, brooms, lighters” and yes, even “garbage pail lids” to create a unique musical experience. Now if he promises to stop banging his silverware on the plates when we go out to dinner, maybe I’ll take him to this year’s performance, too. Tickets: $55, $45, 32, $10, half-price for kids. Call 242-7469.

JANUARY SUNDAY

MONDAY

PONO UNPLUGGED

WEDNESDAY

8PM-11PM

PONO UNPLUGGED 8PM-11PM

JAZZ MANIC MON- LIVE 9PM-12AM DAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

KARMA PRODUCTIONS

MALINO 9:30PM-12:30AM

SPANKY 8PM-9PM VINCE ESQUIRE

80’s MUSIC 80’s PRICES

LIVE BLUES

ESTER GODINEZ & FRIENDS

CECE PENISTON

ESTER GODINEZ & FRIENDS

BOBBY INGRAM

9:30PM-12:30AM

JAZZ MANIC MON- LIVE 9PM-12AM DAY

Friday, 10 p.m. at Casanova [DJ] We just can’t tell you enough how lovely this Six Degrees gig is: You get an international groove with DJ El Gato, visuals by Hai Dai, live congas by Elan Rae and dancing, dancing, dancing. And, as always, the most beautiful girls...

9:30PM-12AM

9:30PM-12:30AM

80’s MUSIC 80’s PRICES

Six Degrees Night

MAUI’S TRUE LIVE MUSIC VENUE

TUESDAY

9PM-CLOSE

[MUSIC] Everyone deserves to experience the live energy and music of Spearhead’s Michael Franti just once. It’s political hip-hop done right: positive and smooooth. His performances are simple, inspiring, soul-fulfilling and virtually guilt-free. Not a show to miss, if you know what’s good for you...

LIVE BLUES BOBBY INGRAM 9:30PM-12:30AM

9:30PM-12:30AM

KARMA PRO- COLIN JOHN & COLIN JOHN & DUCTIONS MICHAEL HILL MICHAEL HILL 9PM-CLOSE

9:30PM-12:30AM 9:30PM-12:30AM

744 FRONT STREET • A FEW STEPS BELOW FRONT STREET • 667-JAZZ (5299) • paradicebluz.com 20

JANUARY 6, 2005

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The Pleasure Trap

Stand and Deliver

Wed., 7 p.m. at the Cameron Center in Wailuku

Friday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Sunday, 5 p.m. at the Iao Theater, Wailuku [STAGE] This is MAPA’s presentation of the inspirational drama, Stand and Deliver—you remember that movie from 1988 starring Edward James Olmos, who says cool things like, "Tough guys don't do math. Tough guys fry chicken for a living!"? Yeah, well, it’s actually based on the true story of a dedicated inner city teacher who taught his students more valuable lessons than just trigonometry. Not that I don’t appreciate a good standard deviant from time to time. Tickets: $18 adults, $12 youth. Call 244-8760. (Photo below: “Olivia and Steve H tell Steven off”)

[LECTURE] The psychologist Doug Lisle uses the term “pleasure trap” to explain the “self-destructive rut” that he believes leads some people into obesity. “When trying to make positive changes in diet and lifestyle,” he’s written, “well-intentioned determination is, surprisingly, rarely enough.” But Lisle says he knows the secret to helping people “break free.” And he’ll share some of that knowledge—I say “some,” because he’s also got a book to sell—at this latest free Vegetarian Society of Hawaii lecture.

Joe Cocker Sunday, 7:30 p.m. at the Castle Theater, MACC [MUSIC] Everyone knows Joe Cocker from his classic cover of the Beatles song, “A Little Help From My Friends” or the forever tear-jerking “You Are So Beautiful.” But my fave is that one song, “You Can Leave Your Hat On” from 9 1/2 Weeks with sexy Kim Basinger and a pre-puffy, hot, hot, hot Mickey Rourke. Anyway, Life Magazine called Cocker’s impassioned and distinctive singing, "The voice of all those blind criers and crazy beggars and maimed men who summon up a strength we'll never know to bawl out their souls in the streets." Damn straight. Tickets: $58, $48, $38. Call 242-7469.

Remains of a Rainbow Friday night through Feb. 20 at the Schaefer International Gallery, MACC [ART] Remains Of A Rainbow: Rare Plants & Animals of Hawaii features the photographic works of David Liittschwager and Susan Middleton. According to their press release, Hawaii’s varied ecological communities contain over a quarter of the plants and animals on the “Endangered Species” list for the United States, resulting in Hawaii often called “the endangered species capital of the world.” Here, Liittschwager and Middleton take a closeup, intimate look at the sometimes hidden beauty of these endangered species. “The works, including a video installation,” says the press release, “reveal the often-heroic efforts by scientists and civilians to preserve the living jewels unique to this archipelago.” There’s an Opening Reception Friday, 7 p.m. at The Gallery, which features Middleton, as well as Pulitzer prize-winning poet William S. Merwin, who wrote the foreword to the book Remains of a Rainbow. Middleton will also host a “Meet the Artist” lecture and slideshow on Saturday at 11 a.m. in the Gallery Meeting Room. The Schaefer Int’l Gallery is open Tuesday through Sunday, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., as well as before Castle Theater shows and during intermissions. Free admission.

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JANUARY 6, 2005

FILMCRITIQUE

BY COLE SMITHEY

Musical Cheese Substitutes for Horror Joel Schumacher does Webber by the book Fans of musical theater will work themselves into a lather over Joel Schumacher’s by-the-book film version of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s monotonous play, but most audiences will either fall asleep or hit the cinema doors running. There is nothing imaginative in the film’s musical arrangements or visual style to deliver the screechy play from its corny trappings.

The Phantom Of The Opera

★★★★★ Rated PG/123 mins.

The vocally talented but behavior challenged Emmy Rossum (Mystic River) is oh-so precious as Christine Daae, the lowly chorus girl elevated to leading lady status in the opera’s productions by the mysterious hand of her private music coach—the theater’s livein Phantom (Gerard Butler—Dear Frankie). Minnie Driver does an overthe-top Italian accent as opera diva Carlotta, and Miranda Richardson (Empire Of The Sun) adds a singular shred of realism to the otherwise tedious and affected drone of Webber’s insufferable music. There’s no question that the demand on Joel Schumacher to render an exact adaptation of Webber’s Broadway play doomed the film before shooting began. Had that not been a prerequisite, Schumacher could have taken one of two paths that would have brought about an

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JANUARY 6, 2005

FILM

intriguing and surprising interpretation of what can only be viewed as flawed source material at best. Both methods would have called for Andrew Lloyd Webber’s cringe-inducing musical score to be rearranged and re-harmonized by a modern-thinking composer along the lines of Bill Frisell. As they sit, Webber’s 1980s-influenced arrangements rely on a bombastic use of drum machines that negate any hoped-for atmosphere of horror, which the story of The Phantom Of The Opera clearly demands. Apart from tossing out the half dozen songs that stall the story, the revised arrangements would either emphasize story’s camp aspects (think Rocky Horror Picture Show) or adjust the dynamics of the pieces to bring out a foreboding angularity in the music (think The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari). Either of these approaches would have given audiences a unique experience instead of the incredibly boring encounter they suffer here. The Phantom Of The Opera is a horror story written by Gaston Leroux in 1911, and Andrew Lloyd Webber’s attempt to convert it into a cotton candy musical romance is a conspicuous disaster. To breathe fire into a film adaptation of Webber’s travesty you need a visionary director like David Lynch (Blue Velvet) or Guy Maddin (The Saddest Music In The World) to plunge the story into its dark depths and utilize its music as support to the gory elements of the Phantom. The most galling thing about Schumacher’s relentlessly crappy movie is that audiences who loved Baz Luhrmann’s opaque and soapy Moulin Rouge will likely fall for Phantom’s glittery set design that has things like lit candelabras surfacing from beneath the Phantom’s watery moat in his lair. Schumacher introduces the event as a coded piece of business rather than with a flourish for the magic trick that it is. He’s so intent on reliving the Broadway play and getting on to the next song that the audience gets no context save for Webber’s artificiality and endless squiggles of romance bereft of lust. As an audience member, you just need to know which school of musical film appreciation you fall into. Personally, I think The Band Wagon, West Side Story and Cabaret are the best films of the problematic genre, and I enjoyed Rob Marshall’s Chicago (2002). However, I classify The Phantom Of The Opera as a horror story that belongs alongside Frankenstein and The Creature From The Black Lagoon. Hopefully, some clever director will eventually rediscover the story that Gaston Leroux intended—a gothic tale of physical anguish and temperamental artistic nature. MTW

Less Phantom, more opera

SHOWTIMES

MOVIECAPSULES

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL’S CANDLELIGHT CINEMA

Castle Theater, 572-3456 Fade to Black - R - Wed 5, 7:30

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX

Wednesday, January 12 Fade To Black 5 & 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater

New This Week BIRTH - (R) - Drama - In this metaphysical love story, Nicole Kidman stars as Anna, a delicate young widow who is on the verge of a new life when a solemn little boy appears, claiming to be the reincarnation of her dead husband. Weird. WHITE NOISE - (PG13) - Thriller - Jonathan Rivers (Michael Keaton) plays a man whose peaceful existence is shattered by the unexplained death of his wife Anna, and who is eventually contacted by a man claiming to be receiving messages from Anna through “household recording devices.” What the hell are “household recording devices?!”

Now Showing AFTER THE SUNSET – (PG13) – Romance, Crime – Pierce Brosnan plays—what else—a master thief who’s pulled his last score and retired to an island paradise. But wait! There’s still one last jewel he hasn’t yet swiped! But then his FBI agent nemesis shows up to make sure he’s out of the stealing business! It all sounds like your standard heist picture routine, but Salma Hayek’s in it, so that makes it a must-see. THE AVIATOR – (PG13)- Drama – This is Martin Scorsese’s 168-minute epic on Howard Hughes that includes only a brief interlude of the billionaire’s most intriguing years when he became renowned for living in secret while wearing tissue boxes on his feet and growing out his hair and fingernails to absurd lengths, all while keeping jars of his own urine close by. Stars Leonardo di Caprio as the nutty flyer/film maker and No Doubt’s Gwen Stefani as Jean Harlow. Fabulous! BLADE: TRINITY – (R) – Action/Adventure, Suspense/Horror – The third and quite possibly— we’re hoping—the last in Wesley Snipe’s ultrahip vampire series. In this adventure, half-vampire Blade (Snipes) is pursued by the FBI, teams up with a bunch of vampire hunters and goes after Dracula, who I think is the original vampire or something like that. Also stars Kris Kristofferson, Jessica Biel and Parker Posey, of all people.

Flight of the Phoenix? Oh wait, this is a scary flick. White Noise, yeah that’s right. FAT ALBERT – (PG) – Comedy, Family – The latest in a series of live-action films patterned after cartoons that I grew up watching. No, it’s cool. Really, I don’t care. If Hollywood is totally bankrupt of ideas and is just recycling stuff that we all know and have seen, that’s there business. I mean, just because I write scripts that come back unopened, that doesn’t mean I’m bitter or anything.

MEET THE FOCKERS – (PG13) – Comedy – Four years ago, Greg Focker (Ben Stiller) met his fiance’s (Teri Polo) parents, including ex-CIA man Jack Byrnes (Robert De Niro) and his wife (Blythe Danner). This time, we meet The Fockers—a liberal stay-at-home dad (Dustin Hoffman) and his senior citizens’ sex therapist wife (Barbara Streisand). Usually, I’m skeptical about allstar casts but Bobby De Niro, Tootsie and Babs? C’mon!

FINDING NEVERLAND – (PG13) – Drama – Johnny Depp plays J. M. Barrie, the guy who wrote Peter Pan in this London, 1904 story. You remember Peter Pan, right? Sandy Duncan played him on Broadway. Also stars Kate Winslet and Dustin Hoffman.

NATIONAL TREASURE – (PG) – Action/Adventure – Nicholas Cage and Diane Kruger star in this quest to find some incredible treasure hidden by our nation’s founding fathers, who were nice enough to plant clues on the back of $1 bills. Sean Bean, as usual, plays a “ruthless adversary” in their search to unlock the secret to what the movie calls a 2,000-year-old mystery. Sounds great—wait, 2,000? Um, isn’t the country just—wait, let me get my calculator—228 years old? So it’s a 228-year-old mystery, right? Well, that doesn’t sound like such a big deal.

FLIGHT OF THE PHOENIX – (PG13) – Action/Adventure – This ridiculous remake of a ridiculous 1965 Jimmy Stewart picture stars Dennis Quaid as the pilot of a rickety old cargo plane that crashes in the Gobi Desert with a cargo hold full of people dumb enough to fly in a rickety old cargo plane across the Gobi Desert. Also stars a bunch of actors who should have known better. HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS – (PG13) – Action/Adventure, Foreign – This movie takes place near the end of China’s Tang Dynasty, which was, well, a while ago. Anyway, two cops arrest this hot dancer who has underworld ties, then decide that she’s too hot to bring downtown so they escape with her on some kind of perilous journey. Cool. THE INCREDIBLES – (PG) – Animation, Action, Comedy – A family of former superheroes comes out of retirement to don masks and capes and brightly colored tights so they can, once again, fight evil and save lives. If only all family reunions could be so benevolent! Voices by Craig T Nelson, Samuel Jackson and Holly Hunter. LEMONY SNICKET’S: A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS – (PG13) – Comedy, Family – It says “comedy,” but it stars Jim Carrey, so how funny can it be? This is the story of three little orphans who end up living with a bunch of odd relatives, including a schmo named Lemony Snicket and some dastardly fellow named Count Olaf, played by Carrey.

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA – (PG13) – Drama, Musical, Suspense – It’s the classic tale—and another cinematic take on a Broadway musical, oh joy—about a mysterious masked figure who roams the undergrounds of 19th century Paris, especially lurking around (or under—naughty!) the Opera Populaire, where he tutors a beautiful young soprano. SPANGLISH – (PG13) – Comedy – This James L. Brooks vehicle stars Paz Vega as a beautiful Mexican woman who moves in with an affluent whitebread American family headed by crown prince of evil Adam Sandler. Gold! Also stars Tea Leoni and Cloris Leachman.

GOLDEN GLOBE AWARD NOMINEE BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

“THIS MOVIE SOARS!” -Joe Morgenstern, THE WALL STREET JOURNAL

CLOSER – (R) – Drama/Comedy – Another of Jude Law’s many, many 2004 pictures. This one teams him and three others in a story of four strangers who have chance encounters and overlapping attractions. Sounds hilarious. Also stars Julia Roberts, Natalie Portman and Clive Owen. DARKNESS – (R) – Horror/Suspense – This is the story of a little girl, played by darling Anna Paquin, who moves into a new house with her family, only to find that it holds a dark, terrible secret that could kill them all. Oh my God, I’ve never seen a movie like that before! What’s next, the story of a guy who runs around at night drinking people’s blood?

OCEAN’S TWELVE – (PG13) – Action/Adventure, Romance, Thriller, Crime – This is the heist caper that out-heists the previous heist caper Ocean’s Eleven, which in itself was a remake of the horrendously awful Rat Pack-starring Ocean’s 11. This time around, the band of cons and thieves gets together again to rip off someone really rich in Europe to pay off the Vegas casino guy they ripped off in the first movie. Stars George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts and all the rest.

©HFPA

A spectacular concert documentary that captures Jay-Z's “retirement” concert at Madison Square Garden. Featuring performances by Beyoncé Knowles, Foxy Brown, Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott, Mary J. Blige, Sean “P. Diddy” Combs, Damon Dash and R. Kelly. An intimate look at Jay-Z, with behind-the-scenes material that complements the concert footage. Rated R. 106 min.

HOUSE OFA Zhang FLYING DAGGERS Yimou Film EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT

NOW PLAYING! W MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX WALLACE

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

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KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 875-4910 Aviator - PG13 - Daily (12:45), 4:05, 7:35 Fat Albert - PG - Daily (12:45, 3), 5:15, 7:30, 9:45 Meet the Fockers - PG13 - Daily (12:30, 1:15, 3), 4:45, 5:30, 7:20, 8, 10 National Treasure - PG - Daily (1), 4:15, 7:05, 9:45 Spanglish - PG13 - Daily (1), 4:15, 7:10, 10

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 Flight of the Phoenix - PG13 - Th only (1:15), 4:30, 7:15 Lemony Snicket’s - PG - Th, Su-W (1:45), 5, 7:45, Fr-Sa (1:45), 5, 7:45, 10 Meet the Fockers - PG - Th, Su-W (1:30), 4:45, 7:30, Fr-Sa (1:30), 4:45, 7:30, 9:50 Oceans Twelve - PG13 - Fr-Sa (1:15), 4:30, 7, 9:35, Su-W (1:15), 4:30, 7:15 Spanglish - PG13 - Th (1), 4:15, 7, Fr-Sa (1), 4:15, 7, 9:40, Su-W (1), 4:15, 7

FRONT STREET THEATERS 900 Front Street, 249–2222 Aviator - PG13 - Th (3:30), 6:45, 10, Fr, M-W (4:30), 8, Sa-Su (1), 4:30, 8 Flight of the Phoenix - PG13 - Th only (4:30), 7:30, 9:50 Lemony Snicket’s - PG - Th-Fr, M-W (4:15), 7:15, 9:45, Sa-Su (1:15), 4:15, 7:15, 9:45 Oceans Twelve - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (4), 7, 9:40, Sa-Su (1), 4, 7, 9:40

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249–2222 Fat Albert - PG - Th only (1:30, 4:15), 7:30, 9:30, Finding Neverland - PG - Fr, M-W (1:30, 4:15), 7:30, 9:50, Sa-Su (11:15, 1:30), 4:15, 7:30, 9:50 Meet the Fockers - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (1:45, 4:30), 7, 9:45, Sa-Su (11, 1:45), 4:30, 7, 9:45 Spanglish - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (1, 4), 7:15, 9:55, Sa-Su (1), 4, 7:15, 9:55

8 7**

™ G R E AT F I

MUSIC MS = LIVE

= DINNER

CHECK THEATRE DIRECTORIES OR CALL FOR SHOWTIMES * with MFF passport (5 films - $35) • $10 - single tickets Phone: 572-3456 • www.mauifilmfestival.com

View the trailer at www.houseofflyingdaggersmovie.com AMPAS MEMBERS AND A GUEST ARE WELCOME.

DINING

Maui Mall, 249–2222 (Showtimes) = Matinee Birth - R - Fr-W 7:05, 9:30 Blade 3 - R - Th (1:20, 4:20), 7:30, 10, Fr-Su, M-W 7:20, 10 Closer - R - Th-Fr, M-W (12, 2:25, 4:45), 7:10, 9:40, Sa-Su (12, 2:25), 4:45, 7:10, 9:40 Darkness - R - Th-Fr, M-W (12:10, 2:30, 4:50), 7:15, 9:45, Sa-Su (12:10, 2:30), 4:50, 7:15, 9:45 Finding Neverland - PG - Th-Fr, M-W (12:15, 2:40, 5:05), 7:25, 9:50, Sa-Su (12:15, 2:40), 5:05, 7:25, 9:50 Flight of the Phoenix - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (1:15, 4:15), 7:15, 9:45, Sa-Su (1:15), 4:15, 7:15, 9:45 House of Flying Daggers - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (1:15, 4:15), 7:15, 9:55, Sa-Su (1:15), 4:15, 7:15, 9:55 The Incredibles - PG - Daily (1:10, 4:10) Lemony Snicket’s - PG - Th-Fr, M-W (12, 1:30, 2:30, 4:30, 5), 7, 7:30, 9:30, 10, Sa-Su (12, 1:30, 2:30), 4:30, 5, 7:30, 9:30, 10 Oceans Twelve - PG13 - Th (12:30, 3:15), 6:45, 7:20, 9:30, 10, Fr-Su, M-W (12:30, 3:15), 6:45, 9:30 Phantom of the Opera - PG13 - Th (12:30, 1, 3:30, 4), 6:30, 7, 9:30, 10, Fr, M-W (12:30, 1, 3:30, 4), 6:45, 9:45, Sa-Su (12:30, 1, 3:30), 4, 6:45, 9:45 White Noise - PG13 - Fr, M-W (12:05, 2:20, 4:40), 7, 9:20, Sa-Su (12:05, 2:20), 4:40, 7, 9:20

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JANUARY 6, 2005

You know Maui Time Weekly’s Mind, Body & Spirit section is the island’s most comprehensive guide to alternative health care, fitness and nutrition. Now get ready for our special Mind, Body & Spirit Issue, where we will explore some of the fascinating and revolutionary ways in which you can enhance your health and soul. Call and reserve your space today! Advertising Deadline: Jan. 14, 2005 Publishes: Jan. 20, 2005

SPECIAL EDITION For advertising rates & information call 661-3786 ext.5 24

JANUARY 6, 2005

DAY&NIGHT

BOOKREVIEW

BY ERIC PAUL SHAFFER

Kahuna ‘Ukulele Hawaiian Son: The Life and Music of Eddie Kamae by James D. Houston with Eddie Kamae Every song by Eddie Kamae I’ve ever heard sounds familiar. No matter what I hear, it’s as though the words and music already permeate the air, so I never know whether the song I’m hearing is a new one or one I’ve heard many times before. That is as it should be. No music in Hawaii is more of and in place than the music Eddie Kamae and the Sons of Hawaii made, because that music made Hawaii what it is today: a land of deep cultural awareness cared for by a people celebrating an abiding and steadfast joy in living. This book beautifully recounts his place among those events. The general manager of Borders Books & Music handed me a volume he was excited about—this is a man who sees new books every day—saying it was the story of “the Duke Kahanamoku of Hawaiian music.” I was intrigued since Duke rates significantly higher than George Washington on my scale of important historical figures. He urged me to read, so I seated myself comfortably with a cup of coffee and began the “Foreword.” Good writing always sounds familiar to the reading ear, but with growing amazement, I realized I was reading James D. Houston as he recounted the “chicken-skin” circumstances of meeting Eddie Kamae (a great tale in itself). I was doubly and pleasantly surprised. I met James D. Houston and his wife Jeanne Wakatsuki Houston on Okinawa in the early 1990s when I was teaching at the University of the Ryukyus. My American Culture class was reading the Houston’s co-authored Farewell to Manzanar (which I also recommend highly), a heart-breaking book chronicling the internment of Jeanne’s family in a Japanese relocation camp in California during World War II. I originally read the book because my uncle was also confined to Manzanar, and meeting James and Jeanne was a delight, and now, here I was, meeting James again. The life of Eddie Kamae, for those of us who knew little of it before this book, is surprising and absorbing. Eddie has been in the recording studio, in the spotlight, jail, Army, director’s chair and, most important, the middle of unfolding events that became history and shaped Hawaiian culture even as they occurred around him. Few biographies are written as closely with their subject as this one was. Kamae and Houston met in 1984, and

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

they have worked together on writing and film projects many times since. Their on-going collaborations and his consummate skills as a writer makes Houston the perfect biographer. He writes of Kamae with a deep sensitivity to the man and the culture with a broad awareness of the cultural context. Best of all, each of Houston’s detailed, informative chapters is followed by Eddie’s spoken and transcribed recollections, his own life in his own words. The duet of voices provides dual perspectives on the details of a well-lived life. The book is a beautiful, hard-bound edition filled with photographs and contains not only a well-written life of Eddie Kamae, but many useful features: a well-organized, comprehensive index, a bibliography of selected references, a glossary of Hawaiian words and

terms, source notes for chapters, a filmography and a discography documenting Eddie’s two interwoven creative paths, and a chronology of important events. Librarians, this volume must be on the public shelves! I don’t listen to music as avidly as some do, and unlike many fans, I’m not attentive to who sings what, so I decided to be sure I listened to music by the Sons of Hawaii as I reviewed this book. Still in the store, I asked where the music of Eddie Kamae was. Enigmatically, one of the music crew pointed straight up. I finally realized that I was already hearing Eddie on the overhead music system, and yes, it sounded familiar. The clerk led me to a stack of CDs, where I chose one. For those who haven’t heard the Sons of Hawaii (and where have you been?), I encourage you to pick up a recording or two when you buy the book, for this is the music that prepared the way for the Hawaiian Renaissance. Turn up the tunes as you read Hawaiian Son and marvel, as I did, how well the words and the music make an unforgettable song of the life of Eddie Kamae. MTW

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NEW MENU! NOW SERVING BREAKFAST SAT & SUN MON-FRI 11AM-2AM SAT-SUN 8AM-2AM

DINING

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CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JANUARY 6, 2005

thursday

01/06

BADA BING

friday 01/07

saturday01/08 sunday01/09

monday01/10 – wednesday01/12

Pono Players, Comedy Improv $15, 8pm

1945 S Kihei Road, Kihei - 875-0188

BLUE LAGOON

TUE - Carroll Brothers, No cover, 7-10pm

658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-8141

BOCALINO

Kilohana No cover, 10pm

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

CASANOVA

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S

142 Hana Hwy, Paia - 579-9453

Neto Peraza $5, 10pm

Gina Martinelli Band $5, 10pm

Fantuzzi $10, 10pm

Ray Gooliak $7, 2pm

Head High 10pm

DJ Shark in the Water No cover, 9pm

MON - Mark Epstein & Friends, Blues & Jazz, 10pm; TUE - Jay Molina & Gilbert Emata, 10pm; WED - Soul Concept w/Curtis Williams, 10pm, No cover WED - Ladies’ Night, $5, 9:45pm Wed - Sunn Lounge w/DJs Sal, Lucky & Kev, $5, 9pm

COMPADRES BAR & GRILL Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-7189

DA KINECALENDAR BIG SHOWS Stomp - Thursday through Saturday This legendary show takes the everyday sounds of newspapers, brooms, lighters and garbage pail lids and creates the extraordinary! There's no speech, no dialogue, not even a plot—just everyday objects used in non-traditional ways by rhythmically gifted, extremely coordinated bodies in a movement of objects and sound. And the result is just phenomenal. Tickets: $55, $45, $32, $10. 7:30 p.m. and 2 p.m. (Sat only), Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Michael Franti - Friday. In nearly two decades of music-making, Michael Franti has grown from a blackbooted voice of youthful rage into a barefoot clarion for social justice. Just recently off a world tour and dates with Ziggy Marley, Michael Franti rings in 2005. Tickets

available at Paia Wine Corner, Requests Records Lahaina/Wailuku, Groove 2 Music, Hapa’s and www.hulatickets.com. Ticket: $20.adv. Hapa’s, Kihei, 879-9001. Joe Cocker - Sunday. Known first for his landmark hit, a character-driven version of the Beatles song “A Little Help From My Friends,” Joe Cocker has survived it all, from the Woodstock Festival and the Mad Dogs & Englishmen Tour, through the new millennium. His distinctive raspy-voiced versions of “Delta Lady,” “Feeling Alright,” “The Letter” and “You Are So Beautiful” are rock classics. Tickets: $58-$48-$38. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

TICKETS ON SALE Louis Hayes & The Cannonball Adderly Legacy Band - Jan 13. Jazz drummer Louis Hayes

Kathy Collins with Willie K in “Tita Out... One Mo'Time” - Jan 14-15. Part of the Talk Story Series, local actress and radio DJ Kathy Collins returns with her alter ego “Tita” and special guest Willie K. Enjoy an evening of humor, storytelling and song—local style. Spooky stories, Hawaiian legends, Willie K's amazing musical artistry, all laced with "plenny pidgin" and lots of laughs. Chicken skin, garans-ballbarans! Tickets: $20. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Warren Miller’s Impact - Jan 14. Snow comes to Maui! Jeep and Warren Miller present the latest release in extreme snow-sports films. Travel the globe to discover the steepest slopes and the skier and snowboarders who are brave enough and skillful enough to traverse them. Tickets $12. Sports Expo at 5:30 p.m., Show at 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

AS HOT AS EVER!

”

has been generating an impressive range of dynamic expression since his association with the great jazz bands of the 1950s and 1960s and he’s still one of the swinging-est stickman in modern jazz. This current line-up harkens back to Julian Edwin "Cannonball" Adderly, one of the progenitors of the swinging, rhythmically robust style of music that became known as hard-bop. Tickets: $25. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

”

– San Francisco Chronicle

Pilobolus - Jan 20. The freshest combination of performance art to crawl, leap, roll, ripple, glide or morph its way across the stage, Pilobolus is a dance company of international influence, acclaimed for a perfect mix of humor and invention. “Exuberant physicality” is their hallmark, as the dancers bend and twist, pose and shape themselves into forms that are at once thoughtful and awe-inspiring living human sculpture. Combining dance, acrobatics, theater and mime. Tickets: $28-$18-$10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

presents

PHOTO © OLEG MICHEYEV

Halau O Kekuhi & Tau Dance Theater in Hanau Ka Moku - Jan 22. The program tells a story of the birth of a new island off the coast of a Hawaii called Kama‘ehu: Mountain child of Haumea earth and Kanaloa sea. Kumu Hula Pualani Kanaka‘ole Kanahele and Nalani Kanaka`ole joined forces with PeterRockford Espirit for this inspired production. Tickets: $38-$25-$10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 2427469.

THE SMASH HIT RETURNS! www.stomponline.com

Thursday - Saturday JANUARY

6-8

Castle theater, 7:30pm • tickets $10-$55

JANUARY 6, 2005

DA KINE CALENDAR

call

242-SHOW (7469)

An Acoustic Evening with Lisa Loeb - Jan 23. A contemporary singer/songwriter who positively rivets audiences with her characteristic blend of melodic, intimate songs, sharpened with a rock edge. One of the most-respected female musicians of her generation, she was the first unsigned artist to reach Billboard's No. 1 spot with her smash gold single "Stay (I Missed You)." She’s also known for her hit "And I Do" as well as her role at the forefront of the ground-breaking Lilith Fair. Special Guest: Maui’s Own Gail Swanson! Tickets: $28. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Jake Shimabukuro - Jan 28-30. Jake Shimabukuro pushes the boundaries of the ‘ukulele into previously undiscovered territory with a mind-boggling exploration of music from finger twisting classics to Hawaiian favorites and jazz improvisation. He is truly a

new breed of ´ukulele player, blending the sweetness of traditional Hawaiian music with the showmanship of arena rock, combining lightning fast technique with great aloha. He’s also the winner of multiple Na Hoku Hanohano awards, including Favorite Entertainer of the Year. Tickets: $28. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Lady Smith Black Mambazo: Long Walk to Freedom Tour - Feb 1. They have become cultural emissaries, bringing the soulful music of black South African mine workers to worldwide attention with concert tours, high-profile “command performances,” and numerous appearances in movies, theater and TV. Their finely nuance a acappela harmonies are “like one deep, rich, resonant and proud voice” transforming serious themes into joyous and celebratory music. Tickets: $28,-$18-$10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. All That Dance - Feb 3. Maui Song and Dance, with Day Dance Company & Friends, present an exhilarating evening of live dance and song. Kimberly Day’s uniquely hot and humorous jazz choreography made her a favorite in Los Angeles theater and television circles. She brings a new fast-paced program of works set to music ranging from Chicago and Cabaret to Magic Carpet Ride. Guest choreographers and dancers expand the evening’s experience with HipHop from Joel Suarez, Lyrical Dance by Jamie Woodbury, Rhumba by Dennis and Jennifer Goss, Tap by Jill Okura, Dance. Tickets: $20. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Ahn Trio - Feb 4. Korean sisters Angella, Maria and Lucia Ahn comprise an intriguing piano-violin-cello ensemble. From their first TV appearance in Korea to their current “AhnPlugged” World Tour, they have entertained and emboldened the classical audience, reaching out to new audiences with a repertoire ranging from Haydn and Beethoven to John Zorn, Astor Piazolla and The Doors. Tickets: $28-$10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Judy’s Gang in "It’s All in the Name!" - Feb 5. An evening of tap and jazz dance with a "name" theme. Join the fun with 130 dancers, age 3 to 84. Tickets: $11 adults, $10 seniors and students. 7 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Keali‘i Reichel: Kukahi 2005 - Feb 11-12. Keali‘i Reichel spreads his message of the living culture of Hawaii`i to the world. His halau is known throughout the islands, on the mainland and in Japan, and his collections of Hawaiian traditional and contemporary music have insured his place in Hawaiian music history by critical and popular acclaim. Tickets: $38-$30$10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Les Yeux Noirs - Feb 17. Les Yeux Noirs (pronounced lays-yuh-nwahr), which means “The Black Eyes,” takes its name from a Russian gypsy tune of the ’30s—perfect for a French sextet with a musical meld of klezmer, Eastern European gypsy, North African melodies and French gypsy jazz. The exuberant combination of traditional and original songs of travel, love, lament and celebration persuades the listener to break free from the burdens of life. Tickets: $25-$18-$10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

thursday 01/06

friday01/07

saturday01/08 sunday01/09

ERIK’S SEAFOOD & SUSHI

monday01/10 – wednesday01/12

Open Mic Night w/Mike Carroll 9pm

843 Wainee St., Lahaina - 662-8780

HAPA’S NIGHTCLUB

Michael Franti 9pm

Ladies’ Night Out 9pm

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-9001

Flava Zone

Salsa Swing Party 9pm

MON - Willie K TUE - Ultra Fab w/Fat Joe, 9pm; WED - Aloha Sin Night w/DJ Fat Joe, 9pm

Booty Shake Fridays, DJ $5, 10pm

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB 36 Keala Place, Kihei - 875-7711

Larry Council Band No cover 9pm

Uncle Don’s BBQ No cover, 5-9pm

Habanero Brothers No cover, 9pm

Gina Martinelli No cover, 6-9pm

Da Hawaiians 6:30pm

Kenny Roberts 7:30pm

El Nino 7pm

Habanero Brothers 6:30pm

NDE $5, 10pm

Copacobana Night, $5, 10pm

Karaoke w/James 10pm

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

MON - Steve Mendoza, 7pm; TUE-WED - Da Hawaiians, 7pm

DA KINECALENDAR Rennie Harris’ Pure Movement - Feb 18. Rennie Harris founded Pure Movement based on the belief that hip-hop encompasses diverse and rich AfricanAmerican traditions, carried forward by a new generation through the ever-evolving interpretation of dance. With its roots in the inner-city African-American and Latino communities, Hip-Hop expresses universal themes that extend beyond racial, religious and economic boundaries. Tickets: $28-$18-$10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469. St. Petersburg String Quartet with Paul GalbraIth Mar 3. - The St. Petersburg String Quartet has built a reputation of worldwide proportions. Audiences from Toronto to Tokyo, from Lithuania to London, consistently give the Quartet standing ovations and great critical acclaim. Phenomenal world-renowned guitarist Paul Galbraith joins the quartet for this program, which includes: Boccherin’s Fandango for Guitar and Strings; Dvorak String Quartet No.10; Castelnuovo’s Tedesco Quintet for Guitar and Strings; and Bach guitar solos. Tickets: $28-$10. 7:30 p.m, Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Airto Moreira and Flora Purim with Kenny Endo Mar 11. Latin/Jazz great Airto Moreira (voted #1 percussionist in the world 23 times in 30 years; played with Weather Report, Miles Davis, Chick Corea and Mickey Hart) and six-octave range vocalist Flora Purim (Return to Forever Band, Grammy nominee and Downbeat Magazine's “Best Female Singer”) join forces with Hawaii’s own taiko drum master Kenny Endo in a rare performance not to be missed! An unforgettable experience of sound and cultural fusion. Tickets: $35-$30-$25. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Hapa - Mar 12. Evocative island sounds are created by the slack-key/vocal team of Barry Flanagan and Nathan Aweau. Barry is one of the most prolific and wellrespected composers, performers and producers in Hawaii‘i. His slack-key innovations are enriched by the vocals and compositions of Nathan, who is as adept at crafting beautiful Hawaiian music as laying down tasty jazz grooves. They will be joined by Charley Ka`upu, renowned for chanting, to provide another summit on a truly magical Maui evening. Tickets: $35, $25, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Dianne Reeves - April 10. Dianne Reeves is an empress in the jazz world, with her expansive range, impeccable pitch and evocative compositions. The simmering effect Dianne brings to songs has earned her many plaudits and special appearances, ranging from HBO to the Olympics as well as the major jazz festivals and the LA Philharmonic. But Dianne says, "The most rewarding thing is to be able to continue to sing with my heart and soul. Tickets: $38-$28-$20. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

EVENTs Dog Training Classes - Tue-Wed, 6 p.m. at Maui Humane Society, Mokuele Hwy. Instructed by Kinee Hanson, dogs will learn basic obedience such as “coming when called” and “walking on a leash.” Dogs must be four months of age or older to enter. Proof of vaccinations are required. Fee $110. For info, call 8773680.

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

FRIDAY, JANUARY 7 1st Annual Daryn Singer Memorial Kirtan - 7 p.m.12 a.m. at The Studio Maui, Haiku. A benefit fundraiser for Daryn’s daughter Lily Fawn Jite. Appearances by Jitendra and the Bhajan String Band, Daniel Paul, Radhe Sarva, Leilan, Kedar, Jagadee Shadas, Heather Neeraja and special guest. A silent action will be held, along with Indian Food, and Chai desserts. Admission $10. For info, call 573-8334.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 8 Studio Maui ‘s Open House - 8 a.m.-5 p.m. at The Studio Maui, Haiku. This is an all-day event that will feature a continuous schedule of one-hour Yoga classes that you can participate in at any level and that will bring the healing and rejuvenating power of movement. Admission $15. For info, call 575-9390.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 9 Ao’ao O Na Loko I’a O Maui - 9:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. at 726 South Kihei Road, Kihei. A ceremony dedicated to celebrate the revitalization of the rock wall of the Royal Hawaiian Fishpond. Guest speakers Ed Case, Perter Young, Allen Tom, Rob Parsons, Kimokeo. Along with a special blessing by Kumu Keli’i Tau’a. Cosponsored by Hawaiian Island Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary. For info, call 879-2818.

E E V I V E L I V L I L SIIC C C S U I U S M MU M

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 12

6 Thurs 1/

Qi Gong on the Beach - 5-6 p.m. at Kam 1, grassy area across from Dolphin Plaza, Kihei. Qi Gong, a form of meditation and energy practice, perfect for relaxing, energizing and rejuvenating the body, mind, spirit. No experience necessary. Free. For info, visit the website: saidamaui@earthlink.net.

Fri 1/7 Sat 1/8 Sun 1/9

DINNER MUSIC

0 Mon 1/1 1 Tues 1/1 2 Wed 1/1

WEST MAUI BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria – John Kane, Wed, Thu and Fri; Harry Troupe, Sat; Kaleo Phillips, Sun; Clay Mortenson Mon, Tue. All sets from 7:30-10 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700. Cafe O’Lei - Steve Sargenti, Tue-Fri 5:30-9 p.m. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9491. Cheeseburger in Paradise – Brooks Maguire, Thu, Sat, Sun and Wed; Harry Troupe, Fri; Gail Swanson, Mon and Tue. All sets from 4:30-7:30 p.m. and 8-11 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855. Cool Cat Cafe - Thu & Mon The Whale Shark Erik Pietsch. 7 p.m. Howard Ahia Fri-Sun, 6:30 - Close. Hau Phat, Wed. 7 - 10 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908. Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie - Nino Toscano, Thur, Fri; Kawika Lum Ho, Sat; Damien, Tue; E rnest Puaa, Sun-Wed; Brian Haia, Mon. All sets from 6-9 p.m. 4405 Honoapiilani Highway, 669-3474. Hula Grill - Kawika Lum and Albert & Billy, Mon; Jarret Roback and Albert & Billy, Tue; Ernest Pua’a and Don, Brian & Roy, Wed; Ernest Pua’a and Bradah Brian & Don Thur; Bradah Brian & Roy, Fri; Kawika Lum and

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

S CH RPUP CRUNN O COVE KE BOX OPEN JU S ROBERT KENNYRIENDS &F THE D HALE & A V RBAN E HOT LNA V O C O X NITE! B E JUK O X NITE! JUKE BO OORE JOHN M T E J PRO C

BAND ADS • EASY • AFFORDABLE • EFFECTIVE

FOR INFO CALL 661-3786

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

HAPPY HOUR DAILY 3pm - 6pm 2411 S. Kihei Rd. 879-0602

VOTED BEST SPORTS BAR ON MAUI! MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JANUARY 6, 2005

thursday01/06

friday01/07

saturday01/08 sunday01/09

monday01/10 – wednesday01/12

The Whillys 10pm-12am

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

Karaoke 9:30pm

LIFE’S A BEACH

Latin Night w/DJ Nexus No cover, 9pm

Kanekoa $5, 9pm

Funky Monkey No cover, 9pm

Free Karaoke No cover, 9pm

MON - Open Jam w/Adam, 9pm; TUE - Crunch Pups, No cover, 9pm; WED - Guys’ Night Out, 9pm

LOBBY LOUNGE

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

Clay Mortensen & George Tavoularis, 8:30-11:30pm

Nils & Anastasia 8:30-11:30pm

Pam Peterson & Rudy Baria, 8:30-11:30pm

MON - Tiffany Lee & Josh, 8:30-11:30pm; WED - Clay Mortensen & Gilbert Emata, 8:30-11:30pm, No cover

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

Four Seasons Resort, Wailea - 874-8000

LOBSTER COVE

100 Ike Dr., Wailea - 879-7677

LONGHI’S 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288 LONGHI’S Shops at Wailea - 891-8883

No Entertainment

DA KINECALENDAR Da Ukulele Boyz, Sat; Kawika Lum and Ryan Tanaka & Friends, Sun. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building P, Kaanapali, 667-6636.

Llayne & Greg, Fri; Mark & Mike, Sat-Sun; Anastasia, Wed. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 6677758.

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz – Acoustic Music with Mike Fri-Sat only 7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., 6670787.

Pioneer Inn – Ah-Tim Eleniki (Local-style guitar), Thu; 6-9pm; Greg Di Piazza, Wed 6-9 pm., 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636.

Kahana Terrace Restaurant – Harry Troupe, Tue and Thu; Randy Reno, Sat. All sets from 6-9 p.m. Sands of Kahana Resort, 669-5399.

Reilley’s Steaks & Seafood - Live music (grand piano) 6-9 p.m., Gene Argelle, Mon and Tue; Joel Gold, Wed; Thu, Darrin Lenett, Fri. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Ste #304 Kahana, 667-7477

Kimo’s – Sam Ahia, Wed thru Sun, 7-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811. Leilani’s On The Beach – Crazy Fingers, Thu, 4-6 p.m.; JD & Friends, Fri - Sat, 2:30 -5:30 p.m.; Kilohana, Sun, 3:30-6 p.m; 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building J, Kaanapali, 661-4495.

Sea House Restaurant – Hawaiian music with Albert Kaina and Kincades Basques, Thu; Kincade Basques, Fri, Sat, Mon,Tues; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed. All sets 7 p.m. - 9 p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapiilani Road, Napili, 669-1500.

SOUTH MAUI Bada Bing - Hilarious improv comedy with The Pono Players. Dinner & Show, $35. Seating 5:30-7 pm 1945 S. Kihei Rd. in Kihei 875-0188. Blue Marlin Harbor-Front Grill & Bar - Fri, Mon Boy Kana’e and Ka’ Uhaneleo Sat Braddah Frances and friends 6:30 p.m. Sun Terri Garrison 4 - 6:30 p.m Maalaea Harbor, 244-8844. Capische? – Mark Johnston; Thu-Sat; Brian Cuomo Su, Wed; Sal & Estaire Godinez, Mon.; all sets 7-10 p.m. Diamond Resort, 555 Kaukahi, 879-2224. Maalaea Grill – Benoit Jazz Works, Thu, Fri and Sun, 6:30-9 p.m.; Jimmy C Jazz, Sat, 7-9 p.m. Maalaea Village Shops, 243-2206. Marco’s Southside Grill – Various artists (piano), Mon -Sun. All sets from 7-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041.

Moose McGillycuddy’s - Greg & Steve, Thu;

Mulligan’s on the Blue – Fri ,Tue, Wailea Nights, , dinner and show. 8- 10p.m.; Celtic Tigers, Sun, 7-10 p.m., Mon Gypsy Pacific 8-10 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131. Seawatch Restaurant - Nightly Music 6 -9 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., 875-8080.

HRC MAUI 900 Front St., Lahaina Info: 808.667.7400

Tsunami Relief Fundraiser MONDAY NIGHT REGGAE

50% OFF SUSHI & APPETIZERS FREE KARAOKE - DRAFT BEER SPECIALS

KIHEI, THURSDAY - SATURDAY KAPALUA, THURSDAY & FRIDAY

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

MARTY DREAD

5:30pm to 6:00pm DAILY

Kapalua 669-6286

with

The Shops at Kapalua

$3 Red Stripes $5 COVER

HAPPY HOUR! 3-6pm & 10pm-12am EXCEPT SPECIAL EVENTS h a r d r o c k . c o m

JANUARY 6, 2005

Late Night Specials 10pm to 1am – 21 & over with I.D.

FRIDAY JANUARY 21ST

Seafood Restaurant & Sushi Bar

DA KINE CALENDAR

Kihei 879-0004 Near Foodland

South Shore Tiki Lounge - Sunset happy hour $3 special's. Live entertainment Sun, Tue, Thu Tony & Peter. Wed & Fri Trevor Jones 4-6pm. Outdoor seating on the Aloha Jungle Lanai. 1913 Kihei Road, Kalama Village, 874-6444. Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café – Wed-Fri; guitar and vocals w/ Brado, Sat; Brian Wittman Sun-Mon; Patrick Mayor, Tue All sets from 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983. Yorman’s By The Sea – All That Jazz Band, Wed,- Sun 7 p.m.- 10 p.m. 760 S. Kihei Rd. Kihei 874-8385.

CENTRAL MAUI Mañana Garage – Nightly Neto & Friends, Latin music, 6:30 -9 p.m. 33 Lono Ave., Kahului, 873-0220.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI Jacque’s - Mon, Live Jazz; Highway, Paia, 579-8844.

5 p.m.120 Hana

Livewire Cafe - Various Artist Tue 7-10 p.m. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009. Moana Cafe - Hula Honeys, vintage and contemporary Hawaiian music with elegance and aloha. Wed, Fri Live Jazz. Sun Anik 6-9 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

RESORT SHOWS WEST MAUI Embassy Vacation Resort – Kaanapali Beach 104 Kaanapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000 Ohana Bar & Grill: Live music, Thu & Wed; Patrick Major, Fri; Wayne & Friends, Sat; Scott Baird & Gretchen, Sun; Ernest Pua’a w/ Hawaiian music, Mon

& Tue. All sets from 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly. Swan Court. The Blue Note Swing Orchestra, Dancing nightly to Swing.Tue,Th, Sat, 2 p.m.- 4 p.m. Spats: Weeping Banyan Lounge with nightly Live Hawaiian Contemporary Music 6:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. Ka’anapali Beach Hotel 2525 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0011 Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages Illusions and dinner show Tue-Sat, 4:30 p.m., Kanahele Room; Lanui, live music and dancing, 6-9 nightly. Free hula show, 6:30-7:30 nightly; Sunday Champagne Brunch with Hawaiian music by Polinahe, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Kapalua Bay Hotel 1 Bay Drive, Kapalua, 669-5656 The Bay Club: Jazz trio, Fri and Sat, 6-9 p.m.; solo pianist, Sun-Thu, 6-9 p.m.; Gardenia Court: contemporary Hawaiian music, Sun, 9:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m.; Lehua Lounge: Free hula show nightly 5:30-7 and contemporary Hawaiian music 7-8:30. Maui Marriott 100 Nohea Kai Drive, Kaanapali, 667-1200 Nalu’s: Kilohana, Wed, 8-10:30 p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort 5900 Honoapiilani Highway, Napili, 6691500 Hawaiian Music: Kincaid & Albert, Thu; Kincaid Basques Fri-Sat, Mon-Tue; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed; All Hawaiian music shows from 7-9 p.m. Ritz-Carlton Kapalua One Ritz-Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200 Lobby Lounge: Live music, 6-10 nightly. Banyan Tree Restaurant: World fusion duo Ranga Pae, Fri-Tue, 6:15-9:45 p.m. Kapalua Indoor Amphitheater: Masters of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar Concerts series features traditional Hawaiian music. Every Tues 6 p.m.- 8:30 p.m. Tickets: $40 visitor and $30 kama`aina rate.

The Legend of Kaulula'au: Young Hawaiians loving their culture and willing to perpetuate an aspect of their Hawaiian culture, the art of storytelling. Every Sunday at 4 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. Tickets: $30 and $27 Kama'aina. 1-888-808-1055. Royal Lahaina Resort 2780 Kekaa Drive, Kaanapali, 661-3611 "Eddie and Eddie" w/Eddie Lilikoi and Eddie Sebala, 5-9:30 nightly in the Royal Ocean Terrace. Royal Lahaina Luau featuring authentic Hawaiian and Polynesian song and dance at 5 nightly. Sheraton Maui Hotel 2605 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0031 Lagoon Bar Entertainment w/hula dancers, 6-8 nightly: Bobby & Ralph, Thu, Mon and Tue; Ralph & Allan, Fri; Fausto & Kawaika, Sat and Sun; Nathan & Ralph, Wed; torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset, 7-8 nightly. The Westin Maui Hotel

thursday 01/06

friday01/07

Merv Ohana No cover, 8pm

The Whillys No cover, 8pm

Larry Council Band No cover, 8pm

Service Industry Night, No cover, 9pm

MON - Monster Mondays, No cover; TUE - Tini Tuesdays, No cover; WED - Karaoke night w/Tyrone, No cover, 8-11pm

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S

DJ Mackie Mac No cover, 9pm

DJ Rock Hard Tark No cover, 9pm

MON - DJs Mackie Mac & Rock Hard; TUE - DJs Mackie Mac & Big Zeck, $5, 9pm; WED - DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Wailea Nights 8pm

Murray Thorne 9pm

Celtic Tigers No cover, 7pm

MON - Gypsy Pacific, No cover, 7pm; TUE- Acoustico, No cover, 7:30 pm; WED - No Entertaiment

NEPTUNES

Special Guest No cover, 10pm

Cool Rush No cover,10pm

Crunch Pups No cover, 10pm

Adam Bowen No cover, 10pm

MON - Hallowman, No cover, 10pm; TUE - Smooth Tuesday w/Curtis Williams, No cover, 10pm; WED - Kanoa, No cover, 10pm

Live Jazz, No cover 9pm-12am

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-12am

Malino 9:30pm-12:30 am

Spanky, Comedy 8-9pm Vince Esquire, 9:30-12am

Pono Unplugged 8-11pm

MON - Manic Mondays, ‘80s Night; TUE - Live Jazz, 9pm; WED - Live Blues w/Bobby Ingram, $5, 9:30pm-12:30am

LULU’S

1945-H S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-2555

PACIFIC’O

505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

Karma Productions $5, 9pm

PARADICE BLUZ 744 Front St. 667-5299

Announcing our Maui full band debut:

The Priscilla Sanders Band

Fr u

Lif e

monday01/10 – wednesday01/12

will give a free public one-hour performance at the MACC Candlelight Cafe on Thursday, January 13 at 6:15pm prior to the 7:30 showing of “What the (Bleep) Do We Know!?” Classic rock to modern hits and original songs. Available for parties, weddings, conventions and night clubs.

saturday01/08 sunday01/09

Custom Tattoos Pain Free

Gift Baskets • Fruit Baskets • Flowers

Featuring:

Felix & Jaxon

Delivered on Maui and now Shipping WORLDWIDE.

Contact: Steven Line, at 573-2736 or islanddreambands@yahoo.com

(808)27-SWEET(277–9338) SweetlifefruitCo@aol.com

s r

12pm-10pm Daily

193 Lahainaluna, Lahaina • 667-2156

VISIT US AT www.mauifruitbasket.com

THE

H EART

O LDE M AKAWAO T OWN

Wild Wahine Wednesday with dj blast

C ASANOVA ’ S F AMOUS L ADIES N IGHT ! T E T E C T A HE

VENING

HAT

ARNED

ASANOVA

“ B E S T L AT E N IGHT I N M A U I ”

WA R D

MUSIC STARTS @ 9:45PM • $5 COVER TH

8 SAT, JANUARY

7 FRI, JANUARY

SOULS ON FIRE

HT D EES NIG 6 DEGR THE WORL NS FROM AROUND

FANTUZZI

) MUSICAL EXCURSIOves) - DJ LUCKY BROWN (Funky House AN al Groo DJ EL GATO (Glob BY HAIDAI - LIVE CONGO JAM BY EL S VISUAL POETRY DISTINCTIVE DANCER

REGGAE AFRO FUNK WORLD BEAT - LATIN

@ 10:00PM MUSIC STARTS - $7.00 with flyer $10 .00 COVER

@ 9:45PM MUSIC STARTS $10.00 COVER

9 SUN, JANUARY ESENTS PR DIO RA ’O NA MA

YLE AYS ACOUSTIC ST UPCOUNTRY SUND riends

F RAY GOOLIAK BaAnRdRET VICTORIA 2PM MUSIC STARTS @ BENEFIT $7.00 COVER TO MANA’O RADIO

Make it a Memorable Evening • Dine and Dance at Casanova For dinner reservations call 572–0220 • Log on at casanovamaui.com LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JANUARY 6, 2005

thursday01/06 Kanekoa $5, 9pm

Fine Line $5, 10pm

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

SANDBAR & GRILL

89 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8742

SANSEI 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua - 669-6286 SANSEI Kihei Town Center - 879-0004

friday01/07 saturday01/08 sunday01/09 Video Evidence: DJs Dirty & Miah, $5, 8pm

monday01/10 – wednesday01/12

Open Mic Night w/Jarod No cover, 9pm

MON - North Shore Sextet, No cover, 10pm; TUE- Indi Kine, 9pm; WED - Lawai’a, No cover, 10pm

DJ Chad Benz No cover, 10pm-2am

MON - DJ ED V, No cover, 10pm; TUE - DJ Bad Ass Tony, No cover, 10pm

Hale & The Hot Lava Band No cover, 9pm

MON - Jukebox Nite, No cover; TUE - Jukebox Nite, No cover; WED - John Moore Project, 9pm

DJ Blast $10, 9:30pm

SPATS TRATTORIA

Hyatt Regency, Kaanapali - 667-4727

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd - 874-6444

Crunch Pups No cover, 9pm

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

TSUNAMI NIGHTCLUB

3850 Wailea Alanui Dr. - 875-1234

Open Jukebox 9pm

Kenny Roberts & Friends 9pm

Voodo Suns $3, 9pm

Evolution $3, 9pm

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

DA KINECALENDAR 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525 Tropica: Mitch Kepa, Mon & Sat-Su; Benny Uyetake, Tue-Fri. 6-9 p.m. Tableside magic by Fortunato Tue & Thu, and Wed& Sat 7- 9p.m.

SOUTH MAUI Four Seasons Resort Wailea 3900 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge, Hawaiian music w/Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran, Thu, 5:30-7:30 p.m. followed by jazz w/Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; contemporary music w/Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis, Fri, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; island style trio, Sat and Mon, 5:30-7:30 p.m. w/hula dancer 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria, Sun, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Nils & Anastasia (of VooDoo Suns) live & unplugged Mon and Sat, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata, Wed, 8:30-11:30 p.m. Sunset torchlighting nightly. Grand Wailea Resort Hotel & Spa 3850 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1234 Botero Bar entertainment, 5:30-9:30 Live Music Wed; Strolling Hawaiian duo in the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a nightly. The Fairmont Kea Lani Maui 4100 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-4100

Hawaiian Entertainment w/hula 6-9 nightly in Kumu Bar & Grill. Hawaiian entertainment 9-11 nightly in the Mele Mele Lounge featuring Pam Gamboa Peterson Mon and Sat, Mitch Kepa & Raymond "Mundo" Medeiros. Paradise & Ka Poe O Hawaii perform at the Luau, Mon, Tue, Thu and Fri. Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort 3550 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-4900 Sunset Terrace; Live music by Lono, Thu; Brado Mamalias, Fri; Rama Camarillo, Sat-Sun; Bobby Krueger, Mon-Wed; all sets 6-9 p.m. Wailea Sunset Luau, Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m. Maui Prince Hotel 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge: Ron Kuala’au, Hawaiian and contemporary guitar and vocals, Sun, 6-10:30 p.m. and Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m. Mele ‘Ohana duo, Mon, Wed. and Fri, 6-8 p.m., Mon-Sat, 8:30-10:30 p.m. and Mon, Wed and Fri, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

EAST MAUI Hotel Hana-Maui Hana, 248-8211 Hawaiian Music in Paniolo Lounge, Thu thru Sun, 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Hula show, every Thu and Sun, 7:30-8:15 p.m. in the Main Dining Room.

Caffe Ciao Restaurant. Jazz entertainment from 69 nightly. Wailea Marriott 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-1922

COME WATCH

PLAYOFF FOOTBALL HERE!

TV’S EVERYWHERE BEER & DRINK SPECIALS HAPPY HOUR 3-6PM PENNY SAYS “THE EAGLES RULE” KANOA SAYS “RAIDERS NEXT YEAR” 30

JANUARY 6, 2005

DA KINE CALENDAR

ART Remains of a Rainbow - Saturday through Feb. 20, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. at Schaefer International Gallery, MACC. Hawaii`i is often called “the endangered species capital of the world.” In this nationally-acclaimed traveling exhibit, David Littschwager and Susan Middleton’s intimate photographic portraits of these endangered species invite viewers into a close-up view of their world. Free. For info, call 242-7469.

KEIKI Two Lego Engineering Classes - Mon-Tue, 3-4:30 p.m. at The Art School, Kapalua. Explore engineering, architecture, physics and math using specialized Lego bricks. For keiki five and up. Drop-Ins welcome. For info, call 298-8921 or visit www.play-well.org.

LECTURES Why Whales Do That - Mon-Sat, 12:45 p.m. & 3:15 p.m. at the Ocean Science Discovery Center in Ma’alaea. Multimedia presentation focusing on intriguing behaviors of Hawaii’s humpback whales. Includes thrilling imagery, whale songs and expert commentary. Free. For info, call 249-8811. The Pleasure Trap - Wed, 7 p.m. at Cameron Center, 95 Mahalani St. in Wailuku. Douglas Lisle, PhD. explains his new book. A recent revolution in motivational psychology that can help people break free from the self-destructive rut. A new understanding of why we do what we do has yielded a dramatic new path toward lasting and positive change. Living Trust - Wed, 10 a.m., 11:30 a.m. & 7-8:30 p.m. at Maui Arts & Cultural Center, Kahului. This seminar will discus how to plan, protect your family from Probate and estate taxes. Guest speaker is Attorney David A. Bernstein. Free. For info, call 243-9890.

POLITICAL Grand Opening of Binhi At Ani Center - Sat, 4:30 p.m. at Binhi At Ani Center, Kahului. There will be an

Hawaiian Blessing followed by dinner. Governor Linda Lingle and Mayor Alan Arakawa to be guest speakers. For info, call 242-6431.

SPORTS 2005 Mercedes Championships - Thursday through Sunday, 8:30 a.m. at Kapalua's Plantation Course. This annual championship is one of the most prestigious golf tournaments of the year. At this upcoming season opener, champions of the 2004 PGA Tour season will compete in four rounds of play for their share of a $5.5 million purse. Early qualifiers include defending champion Stuart Appleby, Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, Vijay Singh, Mike Weir, John Daly, and Sergio Garcia. Tickets: $75-$20. For info, call 669-2440. Jr. Pan Pacific Swimming Championships - ThuSun, 8:30 a.m. at Kihei Aquatic Center. The championships will include teams from USA, Japan, Canada, Guam and several other countries. For info, call 877-7375. 10th Annual Gymnastics Invitational - Fri-Sun, 6:30 p.m. at War Memoral Gymnasium, Wailuku. Featuring University’s Arizona State, Boise State, University of Alaska and University of Maryland.Presented by the county of Maui and the Gymnastics Foundation Of Maui. Tickets: $15-$5. For info, call 283-9340.

STAGE Stand and Deliver - Fri-Sat, 7:30 p.m.; Sun 5 p.m. at The Iao Theatre, Wailuku. In 1982, a troublemaker marched into East L.A. He was tough. He was wild. He was the new math teacher. His name was Jaime Escalante. Sponsored by Maui Academy of Performing Arts. For info, call 244-8760.

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JANUARY 6, 2005

AUTOMOTIVE CARS - DOMESTIC MOVING TO MAINLANDMUST SELL ‘93 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo, Green, Great Condition, 175K miles, AC, CD, $3850 OBO, 303-518-3153 ‘86 DODGE CARAVAN Body Parts Doors, Front End no Trans. Several 2.6L Heads or Everything $300, Call 280-0733 Wailuku

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MUST SELL: USED ELECTRIC WHEELCHAIR w/charger $600. OBO. Daniel 2800733 Wailuku

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CLASSES & INSTRUCTION

HOME CONCEPT! $1000 Daily Potential, Simply Returning Phone Calls! No Selling, No Explaining. Free Recorded Message TEACH ENGLISH Travel The World And Get Paid!!! 1-888-563-2467. (AAN CAN) With Global TESOL College. Please Get Paid To Shop! call for details 1-888-TESOL-US or visit www.GlobalTESOLUSA.com Mystery Shoppers Needed to Pose as Customers! Training Provided. (AAN CAN) FT/PT. CALL NOW!! 1-800-690-1273 NEWS FLASH! POLAR ICE CAPS (AAN CAN) MELTING AT ALARMING RATE! Learn to SCUBA Dive Today with SHAKA DIVERS, Professional, Safe, Fun Lessons and Dive Tours. Torpedo Dives, Hydro-Optix Masks! (808) 2501234 www. shakadivers.com it’s SHAKA-RIFIC

Two Lego Engineering classes after school at The Art School at Kapalua ™

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Pre-Engineering with LEGOs™ (for Keiki 5 to 7) Mon 3 to 4:30

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$$ A CASH NOW OFFER $$ FREE DIRECTV ALL CASH CANDY ROUTE! Up to 4 rooms free plus 3 free months Turn future money from lawsuit setof HBO + Cinemax for $36.99 per tlements, lottery awards, and annuity Do you earn $800 in a day? Your own payments into cash now. Free Quotes local candy route. Includes 30 month. 1-888-777-7115. (AAN CAN) 1-800-815-3503 www.ppicash.com Machines and Candy. All for $9,995. 1-800-807-6525. (AAN CAN) SPORTS EQUIPMENT (AAN CAN)

SPA! Overstocked! New 7 person spa - 3 TOW-IN BOARDS FOR SALE LOADED! Includes cover, delivery, New 6’ Honolua Underground $500. and warranty. $2999, was $5999. 1- Timpone 5’10” and Timpone 5’2” 888-397-3529. (AAN CAN) $400. each Call 283-7666

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BARTENDERS up to $1200 per week. Tips + wages. No Experience Required. F/T & P/T SKIN CARE Multiple FT/PT positions available. SPECIALISTS Call 1-800-806-0083 ext. 202. (AAN And Make-Up Artists Needed At CAN) Maui Magic Tan in Lahaina. Beautiful, Fun Place to Work. Call 808-662GOLD

EMPLOYMENT

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MEDIA MAKE-UP ARTISTS Earn up to $500/day for television, CD/videos, film, fashion. One week course in Los Angeles while building portfolio. Brochure 310-364-0665 www.MediaMakeupArtists.com (AAN CAN) A COOL TRAVEL job. Now hiring (18-24 positions). Guys/gals to work and travel entire USA. Paid training, transportation, lodging furnished. Call today, start today. 1-877-646-5050. (AAN CAN) WANTED: PART-TIME NANNY/HOUSEKEEPER $10./hr. No Experience Necessary. In Wailuku, call Daniel 280-0733 WANTED: ACUPUNCTURISTS & MASSAGE THERAPISTS For expanding Wailuku Clinic to Share/Rent Space-Call Effective Therapies, 81 Central Ave. 242-9664 Daniel Fowler, MAT 2765. $ MODELS WANTED $ For calendar magazine and artistic print work. Ages 18 to 35. 573-3712

WE WANT NEW WRITERS: The Academy for Alternative Journalism, supported by the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies and by alternative papers like this one, seeks experienced minority journalists and students (college seniors and up) for a paid summer writing program at Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism, Chicago. The eight-week program (June 19 August 14, 2005) aims to recruit talented minority writers into the alternative press and train them in magazine-style feature writing. Ten participants will be chosen and paid $3,000 plus housing and travel allowances. While the program is designed to encourage minority writers to consider careers in the alternative press, candidates of any ethnicity may apply. For information visit the Web site at http://www.medill.northwestern.edu/aaj or write for an application: Academy for Alternative Journalism, Northwestern University, Medill School of Journalism, 1845 Sheridan Road, Evanston, IL 60208. Email altacademy@northwestern.edu. Application deadline February 11, 2005. Northwestern University is an equal opportunity educator and employer. (AAN CAN)

COOL TRAVEL JOB. Entry level positions, 18+, no experiALOHA VALUED READERS ence necessary, 2 weeks paid trainWe would like to let our readers know ing, transportation, lodging provided. that we try to screen most of our ads. $500 signing bonus to start. TOLL We read back the ad copy to ensure that FREE 1-877-646-5050. (AAN CAN) it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a ARTS question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org *MOVIE EXTRAS* Earn up to $200-$600/ day. All looks, types and ages needed. TV, music videos, commercials, films & print. FOR SALE Work with the best! “Extras on Call” 1-800-260-3949 ext 3001. (AAN CAN)

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MUSICIAN SERVICES AKAMAI SOUND & VIDEO DJ Services, Videography & Wide Screen Rental. 280-8310

NOTICES DIVERSITY IN JOURNALISM: The Academy for Alternative Journalism, established by papers like this one to promote diversity in the alternative press, seeks talented journalists and students (college seniors and up) for a paid summer writing program at Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism. The eightweek program (June 19 - August 14, 2005) aims to recruit talented candidates from diverse backgrounds and train them in magazine-style feature writing. Ten participants will be chosen and paid $3,000 plus housing and travel allowances. For information visit the Web site at http://aan.org/aaj or write for an application: Academy for Alternative Journalism, Northwestern University, Medill School of Journalism, 1845 Sheridan Road, Evanston, IL 60208. Email altacademy@northwestern.edu. Application deadline February 11, 2005. Northwestern University is an equal opportunity educator and employer. (AAN CAN)

S.&W. MAUI CONDOS from $175,000 W. & S. MAUI HOMES from $375,000 Surf the Maui MLS Listings at www.barrybrownmaui.com Barry Lee Brown (R) P.O. Box 11782 Lahaina

VACATION RENTALS CLEAN, AFFORDABLE Accommodations in our vacation rental from $49 per day. Call Toll Free Wailuku Guesthouse 877-986-8270 or www.wailukuhouse.com

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) If you’ve experienced real bliss—drug-induced or otherwise—you know that it would be an intolerable condition if it persisted for too long, just like agony. Most people prefer, overall, more subdued emotions, such as contentment, serenity or satisfaction, just as irritation, mild soreness or a low-level sting would be preferable to outright misery. Keep that in mind this week; in your hunt for more extreme states, you might get them—and realize they weren’t quite what you had in mind. Letting yourself be quietly serene isn’t settling for less—it’s getting what you actually wanted most, only didn’t know it.

SERVICES

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) You’re marvelously impractical—something that earns you barrels of criticism and pique. You’re used to receiving mostly negativity from your fellow humans, especially if they must cooperate with you on some task. Be it simple or complicated, from making dinner together to starting a business, you’re bound to frustrate folk, because you simply don’t do things the expected way, or even using methods that others can recognize or employ themselves. This week, however, your weird and wonderful ways should attract more positive attention than negative; those nearby will be more fascinated than critical by the circuitous routes your mind takes on its way anywhere.

MAUI RECYCLING SERVICE Picks up all your glass, plastic, aluminum, tin, mixed paper, & cardboard. Home Pickup; a convenience for $16/mo! Bi-monthly pick up. Commercial accounts avail. Call Now! 244-0443

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

HIV COUNSELING AND TESTING

You’re loyal, not intransigent. That’s something less dynamic characters frequently misunderstand. When you commit to someone, it’s an emotional obligation you take seriously; however, its exact form can (and must) change over time. The strongest bonds are resilient; they can stretch and grow in response to the forces exerted on or against them. Relationships and roles that are rigidly defined usually crumble when reality’s torque grows too intense. Try explaining this to those who don’t understand why you’re “not the same person” you were a year ago. Point out that this is a good thing—demonstrating the strength of your connection, not its weakness. They still may not be able to understand your reasoning; however, they have a better chance of doing so this week than any other.

If you feel that you have been potentially exposed to HIV and would like Free, Confidential and Anonymous testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900. It is important to know your HIV status so that you do not unknowingly pass the virus to others, also early detection is vital to your health and treatment. The Maui AIDS Foundation now offers Drop-In HIV Counseling and Testing (No appointment necessary) Drop in hours are Mon.-Fri. 8:30am to 4:30pm, Wed. 8:30am to 7pm 1935 Main Street, Wailuku For more information on HIV/AIDS, STD’s including Viral Hepatitis and HIV Counseling and Testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900. In Hana call 248-7801, Lanai 5656722, and Molokai 553-9086.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) With relief you settle back into your work routine. Most Taureans find the holidays—and their requisite family obligations—both exhilarating and exhausting. It’s great to see the folks again, but also great to see them go. Try to keep things in perspective, however. Your co-workers, in contrast to the family you’re tired of, might seem as immediately desirable as a steaming croissant, fresh from the oven. However, keep in mind that they’re the same highly imperfect folk you were nigh unto strangling a couple weeks ago, before you make promises to them you won’t want to keep in a couple more.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) I hope you made a New Year’s resolution more profound than: “I will never, ever, drink eggnog again.” While this arbitrary ritual of making improvements to your life on January 1st (and at no other time) is pretty lame, it’s better than nothing. Therefore, I hope you gave it some in-depth consideration regarding issues beyond your most recent hangover. Here’s a juicy hint as to which evolutionary direction is likely to benefit you the most: 2005 is likely to be the year you figure out the love and romance thing, or you don’t (for at least five more years to come).

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) Always a rough couple of weeks for you Cancers, the last two were exceptionally grueling and upsetting. That Cancer Full Moon a fortnight ago didn’t help at all. At last, however, the mess is resolving itself; if not shifting towards a state of neatness, at least settling into entropic lassitude that promises not to explode again any time soon. With this week’s Capricorn New Moon, you’ve got a chance to reorganize certain parts of your emotional and belief systems, hopefully in such a way that they’re unlikely to ever get quite this muddled again; here’s hoping future clutter remains more manageable.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) Why is it your sorry recent fate to end up in circumstances that require frequent pride-swallowing and, in some cases, absolute surrender? Because there are lessons to be learned here, and until you get them—deep in your bones—they’ll be repeated ad infinitum. Can you say you’ve mastered the ability to differentiate between situations that would merit from some guidance and control, and those that simply can’t (or shouldn’t) be steered in any direction? In case you haven’t yet figured it out, that’s the lesson you need to master. Until you do, expect to deep throat your ego at least a few more times.

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Four out of five Americans, at some point in their lives, suffer from spiritual constipation. These cases vary in seriousness, sometimes lasting only days, but occasionally persisting for years, or even decades. If you should be experiencing a bout of this dread ailment, fear not. It’s nothing to be ashamed of; in fact, shame can lengthen and exacerbate the condition, because shame-based cases often go unaddressed for twice as long as they would be otherwise. People from all different faiths and belief systems get “stuck” sometimes, discovering that their emotional crap no longer moves, but just hangs around weighing them down. Luckily, you already know someone who can get things moving again. This week, call him Prune Juice and ask him to administer your cure.

A public health message provided by The Maui AIDS Foundation.

(808) 661-1800

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) Rules to abide by this week: 1. No whining. 2. No cursing fate. 3. No feeling sorry for yourself. It may seem like I’m steering you towards some kind of insincere stoicism (or worse, martyrdom), but I’m not. I just want you to realize that even though some of the things that happen to you this week are nothing like what you wanted— in fact, many of them just plain suck—they are nevertheless precisely what you needed. There are many possible analogies, all of them too dramatic (you’re being forged, compressed into diamond, etc, etc), but you get what I’m talking about. A little pain serves you better than pleasure could, so try to suffer serenely, if possible.

“we do all the work . . . so you can enjoy your yard”

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Cue up the spotlights and the soundtrack. Places, everybody! We’ve got one take on this and that’s it. We either get it or we don’t. No pressure, though. I just don’t want you to take the upcoming performance too casually, because if you don’t give it your all—plus some you didn’t know you had—you’re not going to get anyone to suspend their disbelief. The consequences of such a disaster would be worse than a bad review or two. You’d practically be black-listed from your scene-making scene. No one’s going to buy a ticket to your show for ages. So get it right, or get out of the business (whichever business you’re in).

Jason Meyer 573-1920

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

Maui Recycling Service

Scorpios are stereotypically prone to meaningless infidelities. They’re also notorious for convincing themselves that once they get rid of the evidence, no harm’s been done. Unfortunately, this is not simply a case of burning a semen-spotted dress. Trust has been violated, and it’s actually a painless, invisible (but nevertheless serious) wound until it’s exposed, later—at that point, it becomes obvious that it’s been festering so long that it might even be enough to kill the whole creature—namely, your relationship. Sooner is always, always better than later to reveal these things. If you’ve got a secret, know this: there will be NO good time to come clean; now’s better than any other.

If not now, when?

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SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) Any perception that the cards are stacked against you is incorrect, and finds its source in pure defeatism. There is a part of you that wants to see you fail, to suffer, to die horribly. Everybody has some tiny piece of outrageous pessimism that wants to see itself proved right. Resistance to it, however, is not futile. It’s necessary. It’s more powerful than you think. Letting it decide that you’re in for nothing but shit will likely cause exactly that to happen. However, your innate optimism is more than enough to defeat or surmount any bad luck you might suffer—if you let it. Please do.

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CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

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HOLOHOLOGIRL

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS

‘Happy, Healthy and Horny in 2005’ I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world. This makes it hard to plan the day. —E. B. White Already getting a late start on New Year’s Eve, I tried on not less than six outfits in a flurry. All were vetoed systematically by Mr. X, whose nose was a-crinkle at bustiers, peek-aboo fur-lined blouses and fishnets, oh my! A group of us piled into Sasha’s car “Montclair” as long-legged BJ pulled the short straw and had to curl up in the trunk with the cooler. We went straight to the SandBar in Paia, where Kanekoa was back in action. I tried in vain to get Dave to do their signature “SandBomb”—that’s Guinness with a shot of Bailey’s and Jägermeister—with me but he ran away. Then our group met back at Montclair for a little tailgate party while I hopped over to Charley’s to check out The Easy and DJ Platelunch. There was a balloon drop as well as the requisite champagne toast and sloppy affection at the strike of midnight. In front of me, TBB and BJ kissed deep and long. Ugh—married people! As I turned to Sasha to laugh haughtily at this, a dark and handsome stranger grabbed my single friend and kissed her, too. Disgusted and sauced, I ran from the dance floor of love and immediately to the bar to order four Jäger shots that I may or may not have distributed to friends and/or spilled all over myself before we again met with the rest of the gang. With TBB as our DD, we headed up a long and winding road to Kula for a big New Year’s Eve party. After the security checkpoint, the host greeted us in a three-foot tall hat. We went straight to an area called “the bar,” where I was instructed to spin a big, colorful Wheel of Fortune-looking contraption before I ordered my drink. It landed on “Tequila.” Okay, no problem. Then the next guy spun and hit “Take a body shot off the cleavage of the hapless girl who just spun before you.” Uh… hunh? We walked around and discovered two dance areas with DJs and visuals and a huge bonfire. There was even a Medic Tent and a Keiki Camp, with rotating parents keeping guard. And because the organizers asked people to bring canned goods to the event, they were able to donate 80 pounds of food to the Maui Food Bank. Not bad for a bunch of smiley raver kids, eh? Later, I asked the organizer why he would want to go through all the trouble to stage such a production. “Just because I can,” he said. “There’s bad stuff happening in the world and I want to celebrate the fact that I’m alive. Tomorrow is not promised and I just wanted to push the buttons and see what happened.” And so it was that after we started with champagne and BJ’s Secret Juice in Wailuku, and we continued on with the Vodka tonics, more champagne and Jägermeister shots in Paia, and finally, the tequila and more juice in Kula, Sasha passed out in the backseat of her own car. The only other button she would be pushing would be the snooze on her alarm the next day, you know what I mean? On Sunday, I went with a fully recovered Sasha to see the last of the weekend’s First Light Film Festival at the Castle Theater. In his pre-screening speech, Barry Rivers wished us all a prosperous New Year and hoped we would be all be “happy, healthy and horny in 2005.” After the movie, we went to the SandBar, where the infamously mischievous minstrel Trevor Jones greeted us and announced my “17th birthday” to the crowd, who all politely cheered me on. Suckers. Then we sat at the bar and had the happiest, healthiest, most prosperous Crab Cakes ever invented. They even inspired us to tackle an important culinary quandary. “It’s always wine, wine wine!” said Sasha. “But what hard liquor goes well with crab cakes?” With the help of Byron, the movie star bartendress, we determined the liquor of choice would be Gran Marnier—room temp, in a snifter. We then wanted soup and more “pairing” research so we went to Milagros, where Maui Time photographer and recipient of many furry creatures in boxes, Kirsten, was bartending. She recommended a dirrrrty martini with the French Onion Soup and oola-la, was it a good match! “You should probably write that down,” Sasha kept telling me, between cheesy mouthfuls. Next, we ate a moist, double-layered chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream, whipped cream and a triple-layered B-52—that’s Kahlua, Frangelico and Bailey’s—while I tried to get Patrick to recite Shakespearean Love Sonnets to me. Hey, I’m just following Barry’s advice, after all. MTW

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