12.37 Civil Right, March 5, 2009, Volume 12, Issue 37, MauiTime by MauiTimes

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CONTENTS

VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 37

4 MAUI COUNTY The merits of cover songs and the future of Maui’s music scene are debated in Letters. Jared Libby wonders if there’s hope for Maui’s out-of-work carpenters. Unruly keiki get scolded in Eh Brah! Football coaches get kinky in News of the Weird. A transparent fish swims through Click of the Week. Rob Report gives us 1,500 words on mushrooms (no, not those mushrooms). A bar gets a death sentence in LC Watch. Coconut Wireless lightens the mood with prison statistics.

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12 12 FEATURE STORY HB444, a bill that would allow same-sex civil unions statewide, has divided Hawaii. We pick a side.

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION

14 ONO KINE GRINDS

What was/is the name of your imaginary friend?

Humuhumunukunukuapua’a at the Grand Wailea twists, and pleases, the tongue.

Editor: Jacob Shafer Bocaj

15 Take 5

Calendar Editor/Staff Writer: Kate Bradshaw Charlie Crist Proofreader: Heather Nicholson Contributors: Jessica Armstrong, Caeriel Crestin, Lloyd Dangle, Doug Levin, Rob Parsons, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower Ren & Stimpy Art Director: Brittany Shaw The Incredible Mr. Limpet

16 MUSIC SCENE Kate tries to find out how jazz rockers The Flying Sheep Problem got their name.

17 Mind Candy

One Call. One Bill. One Company. Lots of Games! Call 643-2337.

18 FILM Barry Wurst II falls for Two Lovers.

Graphic Designer: Kellee LaVars Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers Beelzebubba General Manager: Jennifer Russo Lestat Administrative Executive: Judy Toba Eduardo Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown Pony Web Design: Linear Publishing www.linearpublishing.com

19 Movie Listings

20 DA KINE CALENDAR Kate says “I do” to the week’s top events, including a Women’s Day benefit and a Maui Coastal Land Trust luau.

22 Calendar Listings 23 Grid

Publisher: Tommy Russo

28 BACK PAGES MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2008 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly.

28 Adult Classifieds

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29 Local Classifieds 30 Sign Language 31 Mind, Body, Spirit

Maui Time Weekly 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of the MauiTime Weekly

ON THE COVER: Photo by Sean Michael Hower

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LETTERSTOTHEEDITOR GOT IT COVERED I wrote a letter last year shaking my finger at you folks for your handling of the Music Issue. To my surprise you published the letter in the following week’s issue. Well, this letter is to congratulate you on the recent article about the dilemma faced in the local music scene regarding originals and covers [“Covered up,” February 19]. I believe it may actually serve as a catalyst to encourage more original, creative work here on the island. If the tourists just want to catch a buzz and listen to the “greatest hits of yesterday and today,” maybe the local population should get more involved in supporting unique, original musicians.

they become Guitaraoke players using prerecorded tracks that lock them into the same repeat performances. A solo cover artist can put an original spin on any song if they are not trying to copy the arrangements. If it’s not about earning a living, you are going to be spending much of your life doing something else and making music on the side. There are some decent original acts here on Maui, but few people realize it has taken them years to develop, primarily because they work full-time jobs to support themselves. That’s pretty much always been the case, anywhere in the U.S. Joshua, submitted online at mauitime.com

ANGUS BEEF Jason White, submitted online at mauitime.com

ART STARVED I think Kate Bradshaw showed some initiative in her story about cover songs. She provided insight on the local music scene. One facet she did not address is that great original art—whether it be music, visual or literary—generally stems from artists who have a strong self-awareness of conflicts, irony and the events of the world around them, both personal and global. This appears not to be the case on Maui where mediocrity is not only accepted but encouraged. Ever read a negative review of anything local? Ever even read a critique? It’s not just the music; much of the visual, commercial art is Prozac on walls and one would be hard pressed to find any good writing anywhere in Maui, including its journalistic venues. On an island where the phrase “it’s all good” serves as the equivalent of a Noel Coward riposte and the unholy genetic modification of reggae into something called “Jawaiian” would be enough to make Bob Marley weep, my guess is that Ms. Bradshaw’s hope for a new, original music scene would likely go unfulfilled unless there were some tilt to aim much, much higher.

Aloha and thanks for being the only paper on Maui that reports. Thank you. Can you do the island a favor and do a story on Angus McKelvey’s “no” vote on civil unions? As far as I can recall it’s the first vote against civil rights in Maui’s history. When I questioned him he said that he would have supported the bill if they had approved an amendment that defined marriage as between a man and a woman. This makes absolutely no sense; they are separate issues. Or perhaps not to his crowd. As a single 45-year-old living with his mom, I would assume McKelvey could appreciate civil unions since the bill did not discriminate against heterosexuals living with their unusual households. He told us his constituency was against the bill. We have not found that constituency, besides his mom, since we know firsthand his office was flooded with calls for him to support the bill. We also contacted the very vocal, very active seniors group on this side and they said they passionately support the measure. One stated, “My gosh, my grandson is gay, shame on him.” Can you help us figure this out? Tim Moore, submitted online at mauitime.com Ed. Note: Thanks for the note, Tim. Please see this week’s cover feature for our stance on the issue.

Andy Gross, submitted online at mauitime.com

SCENE IT BEFORE

MAUI’S ONLY CLASSIC ROCKER A little comedy, a little vicodin, a little haole on the mic, a lot of great rock ‘n’ roll

MARCH 05, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

When the people of Maui actually support full-time original musicians, they will have the scene. By support I mean more than turn out and praise. While musicians are not making a living from their art, they will remain amateurs who can’t afford to spend the days/months/years it takes to hone a band. I have over 40 original songs that are written and arranged for a band. It is a joke to try to perform them on a single instrument. Many of Maui cover artists, like myself, remain soloists, or

SEND YOUR LETTERS to the editor via e-mail (letters@mauitime.com), post (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793) or fax (808-244-0446). All correspondence must include your full name, hometown and phone number. We reserve the right to edit letters. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Maui Time Weekly.

MAUICOUNTY

BY JARED LIBBY JARED@MAUITIME.COM

Deconstructed

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Can a green economy put Maui’s builders back to work?

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or far too long, Maui’s builders have suckled at the teat of luxury development. Now, as our economy sits stagnant and new building grinds to a screeching halt, scores of the county’s carpenters find themselves on the sidelines, praying for the economy to turn around and building to resume. But is renewed development the only solution? New housing starts have plummeted nationwide since the recession began to take hold last year. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 466,000 new homes were started this January. That’s 16.8 percent below December’s numbers and a staggering 57 percent lower than last January’s totals. No one on Maui has felt this decline more than the carpenters union. According to William Kamai, senior service representative for the Maui chapter of the local 745 Hawaii carpenters union, over one-third of Maui’s carpenters are out of work.

The recession has benched more than one-third of the island’s carpenters. “As far as the outlook for carpenters being grim in 2009, I think there is hope on the horizon with the possible rail being built on Oahu,” says Markham. “That and the governor’s five-point plan for economic action that includes $1.89

Photo by John Fife

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in January new home construction was down a staggering 57 percent over the same time last year. No one on Maui has felt this decline more than the carpenters union. “Of roughly 700 members, 240 are currently on the bench,” says Kamai. “Business has dried up so much for everyone. It’s scary.” Kamai says the union is hurting statewide, but nowhere more than on the Big Island where nearly 50 percent of its members are unemployed. Since summer, work has steadily declined for Maui’s builders and the outlook for the immediate future isn’t exactly rosy. “It’s looking very grim for 2009,” says Kamai. “We’re hoping the Makena project gets approved.” The state is also pinning its hopes on large construction projects to get people back to work. Ryan Markham of the Department of Labor and Industrial Relations thinks Gov. Lingle has a plan.

billion in capital improvement projects— there will probably be plenty of work for local carpenters.” That’s an awfully big “probably” for unemployed tradesmen, not to mention the rail issue is anything but a done deal. However, if Lingle goes after it with half the gusto she did with the Superferry, there’s little doubt it’ll be bulldozed through. But to Maui’s conservationists, it’s this reliance on development and giant public works projects that have us in this predicament in the first place. “Land is a finite resource,” says Angie Hofmann, community organizer for Save Makena. “This old model of doing things is unsustainable.” Hofmann says that many times, the larger developers bring in out-of-state workers and while they say they’re creating local jobs, many of the specialized

positions are outsourced. Hofmann also says that the existing workforce on Maui would do well to adapt to the growing “green economy.” Alex de Roode, director of the Sustainable Living Institute of Maui (SLIM), agrees. His office—an independent nonprofit created through a partnership with Maui Land & Pineapple, Maui Community College and EARTH University of Costa Rica—has been charged with bringing the idea of a green economy on Maui to life. “We’re seeing significant efforts on the part of the county and local volunteers,” says de Roode. “We’re working with people from the hotel industry, local schools and labor unions to publish a comprehensive action plan.” The plan should be made public in time for next spring’s county energy expo, de Roode says, and will include provisions for everything from more efficient county facilities to green workforce development. De Roode thinks that could be the kick-start local builders need. De Roode believes that “if we can tweak their skill sets just a little bit,” Maui’s workers can help usher in a new era of green building and sustainability. So, with a little cooperation, a little reeducation and a lot of hard work on everyone’s part, Maui’s workforce and economy could be revived and re-energized, without having to sacrifice our most sacred and beautiful natural treasures. Could this really be the dawning of a new era? Is this really change we can believe in? That remains to be seen. MTW

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ehbrah@mauitime.com

To the lady who stood obliviously by while her two little rowdy keiki pulled cans of food off the shelves at Foodland in Kihei: you do realize someone has to clean that up, right? That your bad parenting skills will cause some poor person making not nearly enough to deal with a mess you created and you should be responsible for? Someone commented (loudly enough that I know you heard) that your kids were “horrible.” I disagree. I blame you. The lilikoi doesn’t fall far from the vine.

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NEWSOFTHEWEIRD THAT’S IT, WE’RE MOVING TO BELGIUM Belgian workers take sick leave nearly four times as often as U.S. workers. This is mostly attributed to Belgian law, which grants full salary the first month and then government-guaranteed 80 percent pay indefinitely. A recent study, noted in a January Wall Street Journal report, found that only 5 percent of Belgian leave-takers were proven malingerers, but that the biggest medical problem now is easily-diagnosed “depression” (exacerbated by the worsening economy), leading to free-form medical leavetaking and creative treatments that often go unchallenged, such as for the man who frolicked on the soccer field, bought an Alfa Romeo and reconnected with old friends (all of which, not surprisingly, said his doctor, lessened his depression).

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD CHUCK@MAUITIME.COM

bly regarded her courtroom identification of the man as more authoritative than the mere glimpse deserved.

FINAL DESTINATION Australia’s Queensland Rail agency disclosed in January that it would quickly offer refunds to passengers on a Cairnsto-Brisbane train that crashed just outside Cairns, but reiterated at the same time that it would not pay refunds to survivors of a November 2008 Brisbane-to-Cairns train crash that killed two and injured nine. The difference, according to a Queensland Rail general manager, was that the 2009 trip was just getting underway from Cairns when it crashed, but that the 2008 trip, also near Cairns, was “95 percent over” by the time the deadly crash occurred (and thus, the survivors had basically reached their destination).

TRAGIC IRONIES

On successive days in January in the courthouse in Sheboygan, Wis., 17year-old Alan Jepsen and 17-yearold Norma Guthrie were each charged with sexual assault for having consensual sex with their respective 14-year-old, opposite-sex companions. However, Jepsen was charged with a felony (maximum: 25 years in prison), and Guthrie was charged with a misdemeanor (maximum: nine months).

The $500,000 top prize in Alaska’s January statewide lottery, to benefit the organization Standing Together Against Rape, for victims of sexual assault, was won by Alec Ahsoak, 53, who coincidentally is a twice-convicted sex offender. (2) Sweden’s Hallands Nyheter newspaper reported in January that a police officer had endured four operations at a private clinic in Gothenburg to correct a birth condition that made one leg shorter than the other, but operations on the longer leg cut off too much, so it is now shorter than the leg that used to be the shorter one.

WITNESS PROTECTION

COACH-ON-COACH ACTION

In January, a judge at Britain’s Bristol Crown Court dropped the case against a 20-year-old man accused of robbing a driving instructor because the victim-witness was “too believable” in her testimony to the jury. Judge Jamie Tabor explained that the victim had only seen the defendant for a split-second, but that she appeared so sincere and courageous that the jury proba-

In January, assistant coaches Scott Coy and Darren DeMeio, of the Westminister College (New Wilmington, Pa.) football team, who were in Nashville, Tenn., for a coaches’ convention, were seriously injured during 4am horseplay-wrestling at their hotel. The men, who weigh a combined 525 pounds, crashed through the double-paned window in their fourthfloor room and fell to the ground in their underwear. MTW

LEGAL INCONSISTENCY

‘CLICK’ OF

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Years the Maui General Plan Advisory Committee deliberated before making final recommendations earlier this week

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Number of videos depicting “terror suspect” interrogations that were destroyed by the CIA, according to Justice Department memos declassified by the Obama Administration

Time that elapsed between the 9/11 attacks and the first conversations by Bush lawyers about warrantless wiretaps on U.S. citizens, according to the same memos

weeks

Sources: AAA, Maui County Planning Department, The Maui News, The Associated Press

Call 573-7568 to reserve your tickets or sponsorship tables www.momi.org 30 YEARS EDUCATING MAUI’S CHILDREN

THE WEEK

Scientists at the Monterey Bay Aquarium in California recently solved a longstanding mystery surrounding the Macropinna microstoma, or barrelfish, a deep-sea creature with two glowing green eyes and a see-through skull. The mystery, apparently, was how exactly the fish’s eyes worked. That’s great, and we congratulate those fine scientists on their big breakthrough. But really, we just wanted to watch footage of a fish with a see-through skull. Clearly so did a lot of other people—this particular video, which shows the barrelfish floating in dark murky water while a narrator drones in the background, had gotten over 900,000 hits as of this writing. As one of the comment writers under the video succinctly put it: “that fish is the definition of awesome.” -JS FIND IT AT… youtube.com/watch?v=RM9o4VnfHJU

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 05, 2009

ROBREPORT

BY ROB PARSONS ROBPARSONS@EARTHLINK.NET

‘Shroom for improvement Makawao Mushroom Farm models local food production ut of the remnants of the Haleakala Dairy just above the paniolo town of Makawao, something good is sprouting. It’s part of nature’s grand design to nourish new life out of the vestiges of something once alive but now decaying. In that mode, entrepreneur Rocky Chenelle of Makawao Mushrooms has developed unique and innovative techniques to raise a healthy, gourmet food for local consumption. For the past six years, Chenelle has been cultivating oyster mushrooms (Pleurotus ostreatus), a mild-flavored variety commonly used as a delicacy in Asian cooking. He has devised a way to propagate his mushrooms, found in nature growing on decomposing wood, in bags of sugar cane fiber residue, known as bagasse. The result of his labor is a fast-growing business, with a product so prolific that twice-a-day harvesting is necessary. Hundreds of pounds are sold weekly to Maui restaurants and markets. And Chenelle seeks to follow recycling, sustainability and renewable energy guidelines in nearly every facet of his operations. On top of that, he leads a popular farm tour, capitalizing on the advancing edge of agri-tourism.

friend from the Mainland came to visit and we got to talking. He said, ‘You know, mushrooms would grow really well in what’s left over after they process sugar cane.’ It got me to thinking.” Chenelle says he initially investigated growing shitake mushrooms, one of the staples of Japanese cooking. He discovered, however, that they were very slow growing, taking months to fruit and mature. Chenelle found that oyster mushrooms, on the other hand, could produce in as little as 17 to 25 days. His research revealed that there were no mushroom farms anywhere in Hawaii. here’s nothing easy Mr. Chenelle about starting a new business, and the same is true about farming in general. Several farming operations have closed in recent years, including the Makawao Poultry Farm egg business,

It’s part of nature’s grand design to nourish new life out of the vestiges of something once alive but now decaying. In that mode, entrepreneur Rocky Chenelle has developed unique and innovative techniques to raise a healthy, gourmet food. All of this seems unlikely for an electrical engineer transplanted from Southern California. In his straw cowboy hat, muttonchop sideburns and jeans, Chenelle looks like he’d be at home as a fiddle or mandolin player in a bluegrass band. One might be surprised to learn he has become a practicing mycologist of sorts—that is, one who specializes in the study of fungi. “When we finally moved here,” says Chenelle, “I didn’t do anything for the first year except sit on the lanai and watch the sunset. Then one day a

MARCH 05, 2009

Maui Land & Pineapple Cannery and Maui’s last dairy operation. Haleakala Dairy, a fixture on the grassy slopes above Makawao town—known as much for its POG drink (passion-orangeguava juice) as for its milk products— closed its doors in 1999, shipping 1,750 cows to Oahu. Chenelle brought new life to the old milking barn, taking months to refurbish the building and devise a number of contraptions vital to his success in raising edible mushrooms. One of those devices is a large commercial mixer/pressure cooker custom made

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

is a real fungi. Sorry, couldn’t resist. to help sterilize his growing medium. Chenelle describes his mushroom cultivation as “a race between the mushroom mycelium [the unseen, vegetative part of the fungus that derives nutrients from its environment] growing on the inside, and everything else, particularly bacteria that would contaminate it.” Chenelle runs his mixer/sterilizer once or twice every day, in cycles that take five hours. Climbing on a ladder to load the bin, he adds more than 100 pounds of bagasse, sawdust and grass clippings (to provide more nitrogen). Steam is injected, bringing the cellulosic mixture beyond the pasturization point at 140 degrees and on to full sterilization at 160 degrees. Chenelle says the boiler that supplied the steam was running his electric bill through the roof. To solve that problem, he now operates a boiler unit capable of running on biodiesel, and finds it requires less than 10 gallons a week. see SHROOMS, page 10

LC Watch Awesome power Most people seem to realize the LC is a flawed department. (We won’t take all the credit for that public awareness, but we will take a little.) Yet there are still some who question whether they have enough authority to exact much damage. Just a few days ago we got an e-mail from a reader wondering if we’re making a “sea monster out of a centipede” (his line, and a pretty good one) with this column. Don’t be fooled. The LC may look like an innocent little county board without the bite to match its bark, but these guys (and gals) have real power. Scary power. With a wave of the hand, they can close a bar or restaurant. Permanently. The first such casualty of 2009 occurred at the Adjudication Board’s February hearing. Kahului’s Hang Loose Lounge was brought up for the third time on charges of selling to a minor decoy. The last time, in May 2008, the LC suspended their liquor license for 10 days, a crippling blow for most establishments. Hang Loose hung in there, but the third time was not a charm. “We’re revoking your license.” With those four words, Vice Chair Darren Lopez sentenced a business to death. There was an awkward moment of silence as those in attendance tried not to look at the condemned, then an even more awkward moment as Lopez offered a fumbled apology. To his credit, he did actually sound kind of sorry. And in fairness, Hang Loose wasn’t innocent. They got popped three times for the same offense; though we have issues with the whole minor decoy program, it kind of comes down to that old “fool me once…” bit. But even if the facts were pretty clear here, that doesn’t mean they are in every case. The power to shutter businesses with one fell swoop is an awesome one. And as we all know, when it comes to exercising power, the LC isn’t always awesome.

–Jacob Shafer

MAUICOUNTY

COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

BY JACOB SHAFER JACOB@MAUITIME.COM

part): Near the end of oral arguments, Gen. Bennett was forced to admit that Gov. Lingle’s public promise to not sell off large chunks of ceded land even if she’s granted the right to do so is, to put it bluntly, a lie. Or at least a dubious halftruth. Here’s what happened: First, attorney Kannon K. Shanmugam, arguing on behalf of the Office of Hawaiian Affairs, raised the possibility that, in light of Lingle’s statements about having no plans to sell the land, the whole case could be moot. This forced Bennett to point out that Lingle had only promised not to sell the land, but said nothing about transfer or exchange, which are also forbidden by the Hawaii Supreme Court’s injunction. Not sure if it was Shanmugam’s intention to expose this bit of linguistic trickery, but if so his lawyerly skills are to be applauded.

Freedom isn’t free, but the press should be. one of those “can’t please all the people all the time” moments.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 27

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 26 More from the Supreme Court proceedings (and probably my favorite

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 28 Continuing a run of success that already includes a World Series ring and a new $3.125 million contract, Maui’s own Shane Victorino has been selected to represent the United States in the upcoming World Baseball Classic tournament. Here’s the question: If, as some argued, Barack Obama was ineligible to run for president because Hawaii isn’t legally part of the United States, does that mean Shane has to bow out of the WBC?

SUNDAY, MARCH 1 With a Hawaii-born president and Democrat-controlled legislature, it looks like the controversial Akaka Bill—named for Sen. Dan Akaka, who introduced it— may get a shot in the arm. As with everything related to Native Hawaiian rights, it’s complicated. The bill, which has languished for nine years, proposes to “provide a process for the reorganization of a Native Hawaiian government and the recognition by the United States of the Native Hawaiian government.” Supporters say it’s a step forward for Native Hawaiians, a pathway to political legitimacy. Opponents within the sovereignty movement say it doesn’t go far enough, and is a watered-down slap in the face. If the bill does in fact move forward, it’ll be interesting to see how Obama handles it. He’s played up his Hawaii roots and has been widely embraced by locals, but this is

MONDAY, MARCH 2 We get into the same-sex civil union brouhaha in this week’s feature, but I got an interesting tip from Maui attorney Lance Collins about a widely misreported legal distinction that’s worth mentioning here. The civil union bill, HB444, is currently stalled in the Senate Judiciary Committee, whose members are deadlocked 3-3. The dailies have been reporting that the Senate can pull the bill out of committee, but must wait until at least March 10. Collins points out this is inaccurate—if a majority of the senate supports bringing the bill to the floor for a vote, they can do so at any time. Collins says he’s gotten confirmation that this is “technically correct,” but that the Senate is waiting until March 10 because the bill is controversial and some legislators oppose it vehemently. “They recall [non-contentious] bills all the time,” Collins wrote in an e-mail. “However, they almost never do this for contentious bills— and the majority has forgone its power here—for the sake of fraternity and stability. Microfascism all the way around.”… In other news: If you’ll forgive the diversion, I’d like to pause for a moment to say happy birthday to the late Theodore Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss. As a child, I enjoyed his work. As a parent wading through the often insipid world of kiddie literature, I appreciate him even more. (Seriously, contemporary children’s book writers: the fact that most members of your target audience haven’t yet mastered the finer points of the BOYCOT T SEAFOOD FROM CANADA!

This morning the Supreme Court heard oral arguments in the ceded Hawaiian lands case. Thanks to the efforts of fleet-fingered court reporters, the transcript was online within hours (if not minutes) of the hearing’s conclusion. (Mahalo to attorney and Maui Time neighbor Ben Lowenthal for the heads-up.) A few highlights: From Gen. Mark J. Bennett, arguing on behalf of the state, discussing the 1993 apology resolution: “It was, as its sponsor said at the time, a simple apology, nothing more.” Um, clearly nothing simple about it, Mark. More on the apology resolution from Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg: “It’s a nice apology, but it’s without substantive effect.” Doesn’t it sound like we’re discussing a kid who said sorry for pushing another kid on the playground and not, you know, one nation illegally stealing another nation and then admitting it? Later, Justice Ginsburg chides the Hawaii Supreme Court for using the apology resolution as “a crutch,” and calls the state court’s reasoning “a very weak reed.” Onto those harsh words, notoriously cranky Justice Antonin Scalia, addressing the idea of an opinion that simply says the Hawaii Supreme Court shouldn’t rely on the apology resolution, adds this: “OK, we send it back to the Hawaii Supreme Court and the Hawaii Supreme Court smiles and doesn’t do a blessed thing.” Them’s fightin’ words. I smell a state vs. federal Supreme Court Smackdown. Could make for some riveting pay-perview; I hear Clarence Thomas can bust out a mean rear naked choke.

An all-too-rare victory for freedom of the press: Reversing one of the Bush Administration’s more symbolically reprehensible policies (and it’s a long list), the Defense Department announced today it will begin allowing the press to photograph the flag-draped coffins of fallen soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan. The soldiers’ families can still say no, and that’s fair—unlike the stuffed suits in the Pentagon, they actually have a right to ask for privacy.

TUESDAY, MARCH 3 Hey, let’s end on a positive note and discuss…prison statistics! A new report from the Pew Center on the States paints a predictably un-rosy picture of our state and national corrections systems. (Incidentally, don’t we need to start putting “corrections” in quotes? Really—who or what is being “corrected”?) According to the report, one in 32 adults in Hawaii is “under correctional control,” meaning they’re either incarcerated or on probation or parole. That’s actually slightly lower than the nationwide figure of one in 31, and significantly lower than Texas, where one in 22 adults is in the process of being “corrected.” The Hawaii numbers aren’t broken down by race, but it’s a documented fact that Native Hawaiians are disproportionately thrown behind bars. (Frequent Maui Time contributor Greg Mebel explored that issue in these pages in 2007, in a feature titled “Hawaiian Justice.” It’s a good/sad story that’s worth a search of the archives at mauitime.com.) Speaking of racially skewed statistics, here’s the most disturbing part of the Pew Center’s findings, and an excellent way to refute the claims of anyone who believes the election of Barack Obama ended racism in America: one in 9 black males age 18-34 is in prison in the United States. Pause for a moment to let that sink in. MTW

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WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 25

toilet doesn’t absolve you from all creative responsibilities). You’re missed, Ted. (Note: To honor Mr. Geisel, I was going to attempt to write this entry in rhyming verse, but thought better of it. You’re welcome.)

ROBREPORT

BY ROB PARSONS ROBPARSONS@EARTHLINK.NET

SHROOMS: continued from page 8 After the growing medium is sterilized, it’s cooled to 80 degrees and the mushroom spawn, or starter cultures, are introduced to inoculate the mixture. Chenelle orders from companies in Nevada and California and the oyster mushroom mycelium is shipped in sterile packages of grain, usually millet. The mixture is then bagged in plastic columns, some 3 feet tall and weighing 50 pounds with the added water weight. For the first three weeks, the columns are hung in the dark of the old milk storage room, as the growing mycelium doesn’t require any light. Chenelle punctures as many as 50 holes in each bag, from which the fruiting mushrooms will emerge and grow. Initially he had trouble finding a sharp instrument that could poke the right size hole without introducing bacteria to the sterile growing medium. Eventually, he drew upon his previous career and found the perfect implement—a soldering iron. After 21 days, the bags are carried across the hall to the old milking parlor. There, air temperature is con-

trolled, an overhead misting system activates every few hours and skylights allow just enough natural light to induce mushroom growth. nce the fruiting bodies of the mushrooms appear, the growth is rapid. Chenelle must pick twice daily, seven days a week. Once picked, each hole in each bag will fruit again in another three weeks, up to as many as 10 times. Over its lifetime, an individual bag may yield 15 pounds. Chenelle averages more than 300 pounds a week, all sold to local markets and restaurants. At the end of their yield, bags are moved outside. The weed-free bags of compost, sold for $5 each, are a favorite of organic gardeners; Chenelle says farmers sometimes report the mushrooms will emerge yet again in their vegetable gardens. Outside the old milking barn, the composted bagasse dumped in old concrete feed troughs is bursting forth with nasturtiums, rosemary, oregano and an array of other herbs and veggies. Thus the byproduct of one agricultural industry winds up in a perfect cycle, nourishing other crops. Chenelle says the only thing he doesn’t recycle yet is the plastic bags. He’s looking at the possibility of

using cellophane bags, which are usually made from cotton or wood fibers, rather than plastic, a petroleum product. Once a week he drives his truck down to the Hawaiian Commercial and Sugar mill in Puunene and picks up a one-quarter ton load of bagasse, and the process begins anew. Like any farm, Makawao Mushrooms has had to be innovative and learn how to adapt. Oyster mushrooms can grow in a temperature range from 55 to 90 degrees, but Chenelle found that on sunny days the metal roof was heating the interior beyond that range. He installed a solar panel, hooked to a pump in a rainwater collection tank. When the sun shines, the panel powers up and kicks on the pump, which delivers water to spray and cool the roof. The water runs into the rain gutters and back into the tank. Problem solved—and without the need to install costly air-conditioning.

among their many happy customers. When they have extras, fresh mushrooms may be available for those visiting the farm to purchase. The farm’s Web site (makawaomushrooms.com) summarizes their philosophy: “The farm was started with the idea of fresh mushrooms for Maui instead of imported. It has gradually morphed in philosophy from providing fresh mushrooms grown locally to a sustainable philosophy as well. We are committed to utilizing and conserving our resources with a ‘green’ approach to the farm.” Rocky Chenelle clearly is having fun at his work, and is doing well enough to stay afloat even if he’s not getting rich. But sometimes doing things the right way provides a richness or satisfaction that money can’t buy. Makawao Mushroom Farm puts Maui one small step closer to sustainability, and that in itself is laudable. MTW

akawao Mushroom Farm is a family operation. Rocky’s wife Paulette helps with harvesting, bookkeeping and deliveries three days a week. Their son Corey, who manages a store in Kahului, comes up to help on weekends. Mana Foods in Paia, Paradise Market in Kahului and Kapalua’s Pineapple Grill are

Makawao Mushroom Farm conducts tours Wed.-Sat., 11am to 2 pm (by reservation only, 298-8480) for $10 per person. They will also be at the second annual Maui County Agricultural Festival, to be held Sat., March 14, 9am-4pm at the Maui Tropical Plantation in Waikapu.

FESTIVAL HIGHLIGHTS: Education: General public is invited to bring in plants, soil and all questions surrounding plants and growing things on Maui. Ask the Farm Doctor booth will have all the answers. Gain tips on composting. Entertainment: Willie K, Cody Pueo Pata and Halau Hula Ka Malama Mahilani, Alaka‘i Paleka, Luana Kawa‘a, Baldwin High School Band, Robotics Teams of Maui, and food demos. Farm m andd Barnyardd Games: Horse rides, mule-drawn wagon rides, and other games are offered all day long! Grownn onn Mauii Farmerss Market: Maui’s largest market features more thank 50 vendors selling locally grown produce and value-added agricultural products. Mauii Agg Thing: Maui County Farm Bureau and Maui Thing have collaborated to create a merchandise line centered around agriculture. There's one-of-a-kind t-shirts, canvas bags and caps on sale.

March 14, 2009 Lu‘au Grounds, Maui Tropical Plantation 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. Admission is free.

MARCH 05, 2009

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TASTE EDUCATION Don’t miss out! Meet local farmers, ranchers and chefs who are creating menus that matter. Purchase tickets at mauicountyfarmbureau.org. Enjoy more than 15 food stations paired by chefs, farmers and ranchers. Noon 2 p.m. Here’s a preview of some of the menu items: Philipp Wangg off Merriman’ss Kapalua: Menu - Maui Cattle Company Haleakala Ranch Lamb taco with charred Olowalu tomato salsa and Ono Organic Farm avocado guacamole Keokii McKee,, Executivee Souss Cheff Ka‘uiki,, Hotell Hana-Maui: Menu - Kahanu Garden ‘ulu and kalua pork croquette with hot mustard aioli and Kula poha berry sauce

Panioloo Halll off Fame: The State’s Paniolo Hall of Fame exhibit showcases the heritage and history of ranching in the islands. Maui Hall of Fame inductees are honored at 1 p.m.

Alexx Stanislaw,, Executivee Chef/Partnerr Thee Plantationn House Restaurant,, Kapalua: Menu - Grilled stripe marlin and lemon couscous with Kapalua Farms garden vegetable salad "salsa"

Victoryy Farm: We invite Maui to wander a living farm to learn about our main farm industries, including coffee, fruits, veggies, taro, flowers, native plants, aquaculture, landscaping materials, and Maui onions.

Markk Ellman,, Chef/Ownerr Mala: Menu - Babaganoush with eggplant and pita

Wellness: Fresh, flavorful, and nutritious, locally grown produce is vital to a healthy lifestyle for family and community. Health care practitioners from Kaiser Permanente are on hand to take more waist line measurements. Wellness Promotion prizes are awarded for Maui hotel stays and golf tee times.

Joeyy Macadangdang,, Corporatee Cheff Roy'ss Restaurantss Maui: Menu - Maui Cattle Company Stewed Beef Shank with Ono Organic Farm ‘ulu fritters and Ke‘anae poi Ryann Luckey,, Executivee Cheff Pineapplee Grill: Menu - Thai Grilled Maui Cattle Company Flat Iron Beef, Waipoli Watercress, Kapalua Farms Cherry Tomato Salad, Sesame-Soy Vinaigrette

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“Bigotry and intolerance, silenced by argument, endeavor to silence by persecution.” - Charles Simmons

hen state Sen. Mike Gabbard testified before the Senate Judiciary Committee on Oahu last week, it was hard not to be reminded of Alabama Gov. George “segregation forever” Wallace. While Wallace’s infamous pro-Jim Crow speech has thankfully faded into the sepia-toned annals of history—and is now almost universally viewed as the hateful screed it was—Gabbard’s bigoted tirade was all too immediate. And there are many in and out of government who share his views. According to reports, Gabbard held up copies of the children’s books It’s Perfectly Normal and Daddy’s Wedding and warned that such sinful prose “would be taught in our schools” if HB444—a bill that would allow same-sex civil unions statewide—were to become law.

This is the civil rights movement of the 21st century. It is a simple question of equality, of not penalizing our fellow citizens for a fundamental characteristic no different than race or gender. Even if you’re sympathetic to the gay cause, you may think the above comparison is overly dramatic. Sure, it’s too bad they can’t get married, or civilly united, or whatever—but we’re not talking about separate drinking fountains and old women being pushed to the back of the bus here. Don’t kid yourself: this is the civil rights movement of the 21st century. It is a simple question of equality, of not penalizing our fellow citizens for a fundamental characteristic no different than race or gender. You can throw out religion, you can throw out “values,” you can throw out public opinion—it’s all meaningless.

Opponents of HB444 like to point out that in 1998, Hawaii voters approved by a wide margin a constitutional amendment that gave lawmakers the authority to define marriage as between one man and one woman—an authority the legislature went on to exercise. (It’s interesting to note that many of the people who support this “traditional” definition of marriage cite the Christian Bible, which, while it does contain one famous line condemning homosexuality, is also rife with tales that seem to condone incest and polygamy.) But here’s the point: when it comes to fundamental human rights, the will of the majority doesn’t matter. Surely all thinking people would agree that even if 90 percent of the population wanted to legalize murder—or, to use a more plausible and analogous example, outlaw interracial marriage—it would be the government’s duty to intervene. That’s the reason we have a representative democracy, at least in theory: to provide a filter, a safeguard against mob rule.

MARCH 05, 2009

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We’re often frustrated by our government and its lack of responsiveness, and we have a right to be. But if the state Senate pulls HB444 out of the Judiciary Committee where it’s currently deadlocked, puts it to a full vote and passes it (something the House of Representatives already did), they will have accomplished a noble thing, and offered an alltoo-rare example of governmental action that’s on the side of justice. By making Hawaii just the seventh state in the nation to allow gay marriage or civil unions, our elected officials will have ignored the rabid cries of Gabbard and his ilk, set aside the mass of red-shirted protestors who descended on the Capitol in the misguided belief that they were “defending the institution of marriage,” and struck a blow for progress in our time. Let’s pause for a moment to consider this notion of “defending marriage.” The divorce rate in America hovers around 50 percent (some estimates place it even higher). In Las Vegas, you can get hitched in a drive-through chapel. It’s difficult to imagine homosexuals trivializing marriage any more than heterosexuals already have. Anyway, this fight isn’t about ceremony and symbolism. Whatever the law says, gay people can exchange rings, drink champagne and eat cake in front of a collection of friends and family, with any religious trappings they choose to attach. At issue are things like filing taxes, adopting children, making critical medical decisions. Granting committed couples these fundamental rights does not harm or undermine anyone. Period. One final note: we don’t want to give the impression that we’re pinning all of this on religion; certainly there are tolerant people of faith who support gay rights (some of them showed up to counterprotest on Oahu, and we salute them). Bigotry, sadly, is the purview of the religious and secular communities alike. And not every person who opposes HB444 is a teeth-gnashing homophobe, either. Many are otherwise rational, compassionate individuals. Because of this, it can be tempting to let their intolerance slide and maybe even begin to believe that they have a point—that this debate isn’t a black-and-white matter of equal rights but a moral gray area where people on both sides are entitled to their opinion. Resist that urge; resist the seduction of the misguided majority. This is a moment that will live in history. The stance we take now will be remembered. Sitting passively on the sidelines and tossing up your hands doesn’t cut it. Neither does straddling the fence, trying to placate intolerant people—decent and well intentioned as they may be—who hide behind their clergyman, their upbringing or their own ignorance-steeped fears. The time has come to pick a side. Which one are you on? MTW

HB444, a bill that would allow same-sex civil unions statewide, is stuck in the Senate Judiciary Committee, whose members are deadlocked 3-3. The bill already passed the state House. Here’s how Maui’s representatives voted:

“Yes” Joe Bertram III Mele Carroll Gil Keith-Agaran Joe Souki Kyle Yamashita

“No” Angus McKelvey

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 05, 2009

ONO KINEGRINDS

BY JACOB SHAFER JACOB@MAUITIME.COM

Casual elegance Grand Wailea’s waterfront restaurant offers fine dining for the rest of us

dar, pears, candied mac nuts and an above average mustard vinaigrette; and the ipu salad, a pleasing mix of fresh melon slices and Upcountry Surfing Goat cheese. Often, after a pupu and salad I’m already approaching full. But the preentrée warm-ups at Humuhumu proved

Humuhumunukunukuapuu‘a Open daily for dinner at 5:30pm Grand Wailea, 3850 Wailea Alanui Dr., Wailea 875-1234

waiters wearing jackets nicer than anything I own just make me feel out of place, like an imposter posing above his pay grade. So maybe the best thing about Humuhumunukunukuapuu‘a at the Grand Wailea, for me, was the ambiance. I won’t say casual, because that implies simplicity. Here the open-air wood and thatch décor is carefully crafted and the location— right on the water—is superlative. At the same time, it’s the type of place where you could show up in shorts and shirtsleeves and not feel like the proverbial sore thumb. After settling in with a couple glasses of wine, we began what was destined to be a seafood-centric meal by ordering the coconut prawns garnished with mango, cucumber, mint and a sweet and sour sauce, a delicious and unexpectedly complex blend of flavors that made me wish for a meal-sized portion. This was followed by a pair of salads: the simple but solid Kula butter lettuce salad with white ched-

to be satisfyingly light—I felt like I’d eaten something, and enjoyed it, but I wasn’t weighed down when the main course arrived. Which is a good thing, because that main course took the form of a whole roasted snapper (and I mean whole, though it did come sans eyes, which I appreciate for reasons both aesthetic and moral). I haven’t met many fish that gave me trouble in the plate-clearing department, but this guy proved the exception to that particular rule. And yet despite the daunting portions I was compelled to press on—the delicious lobster orange sauce coating the flaky, fall-off-bone meat made my tastebuds say yes even when my swollen stomach began to say no. My companion went with the everpopular surf and turf, and while I was too preoccupied with my own plate to take more than an obligatory nibble off of hers, it was clear that the classic lobster and steak combo—here augmented by asparagus, roasted mushrooms and garlic mashed potatoes—was executed flawlessly.

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I mentioned something a moment ago about my stomach saying no. On this night I told it to quiet down and, after emerging victorious from my protracted battle with the whole snapper, intrepidly ordered Humuhumu’s version of a mud pie—a tower of brownie and chocolate and coffee ice cream that I am ashamed and disappointed to admit I was unable to polish off. My cohort went with the intriguingly named Chocolate Indulgence, a sampler of several different kinds of cake that she declared “the best dessert I’ve had on Maui—maybe ever.” She’s not given to wild overstatements, about sweets or anything else, so I’ll take her word for it. After our last plates had been cleared I sat back, my face flush with wine, my belly past the point of fullness, and watched the moonlight dance noiselessly on the halcyon water. And I felt like I was in exactly the right place. MTW

Photos: Pan seared scallops; Chocolate Indulgence; Chef Mike Lofaro; awesome suset.

Photos courtesy of Grand Wailea Resort Hotel & Spa

hough like most people I enjoy good food, the fine dining experience has always made me a bit uncomfortable. It’s not as though I’m some culinary Neanderthal who tries to pick his teeth with the salad fork, but all those linen cloths and vaulted ceilings and

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DISARONNO MELTDOWN There’s nothing like a little flaming food to get you fired up about eating, and the Melting Pot is the perfect place to get hot and bothered over a meal. Fondue was especially popular back when parties involved house key swapping in fishbowls (wink, wink). Savor its comeback by ordering the Disaronno Meltdown, a mixture of creamy white chocolate imbued with Disaronno amaretto liqueur and lit on fire at your table. Dipping into this sweet, hot cream with marshmallows, strawberries, cheesecake, brownies, banana, pineapple and whatever else they cut up and stick in front of you is just the beginning of the fun. Melting Pot, 325 Keawe St., Lahaina.

Burnt sugar is a perfect food, but even more perfect is when it’s served as a hot crust on cold creamy custard. Who knew? I blame the French. Might as well get the best—Mama’s Fish House flambés the sugar just right. Mama’s Fish House, 799 Poho Pl., Kuau.

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SHABU-SHABU I like saying shabu-shabu as much as I enjoy eating it. When it comes to clever dishes, the Japanese know no boundaries. First a flame is brought to your table in a sterno, and then a cute pot of hot soup is placed over it. Delectable thinly sliced raw beef, pork, seafood and vegetables are served. Be sure to do your sake pairing here—take a shot, then grab your chopsticks and swish your food through the hot broth. Fresh, yummy and exotic. Izakaya Matsu, 1280 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei.

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SHRIMP FAJITAS The sound of fajitas sizzling toward your table is almost better than the bold flavor that follows. This awesome south-of-the-border finger food is one of those dishes that requires work. Don’t let that intimidate you. I’ll lead you through it: take your tortillas and fill them with hot tasty shrimp, fresh grilled onions and peppers, top it with sour cream, guacamole and a little pico de gallo, then eat. It’s well worth the effort. Ruby’s Diner, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului.

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KOREAN BARBECUE Koreans are serious about their barbecue and the heat in their kimchee. Find both at Yakiniku. If you sat down at the table and wondered why there was a hole in the middle of it, wonder no more—that’s where they put the barbecue. Next up: marinated meats; you cook it all right there. Stop looking foolish and get to work before the Koreans kick you out of the restaurant. Yakiniku Steak House and Lounge, 752 Lower Main, Wailuku 244-7788. MTW

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LIVE MUSIC LATE NIGHT ON SATURDAYS MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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MUSICSCENE

BY KATE BRADSHAW KATE@MAUITIME.COM

Shear genius Jazz-rock outfit The Flying Sheep Problem melds Tool with Coltrane. Just don’t ask about the name ccording to a government Web site, New Zealand has a human population of roughly 4 million and a sheep population of approximately 40 million. Some,

The Flying Sheep Problem Next gigs: Fri., March 6, 5pm at Maui Thing, Wailuku; Saturday, March 14, 9pm at Chez Paul, Olowalu Web site: myspace.com/theflyingsheepproblem namely environmental and animal rights advocacy groups, see this as a threat, or even a problem. The ethical questions and environmental hazards that arise from the ubiquity of the impossibly fluffy Ovis aries have

inspired activist crusades and, in some cases, policy changes. But for others, namely a Maui jazz-funkrock operation called The Flying Sheep Problem, sheep don’t pose any issues— unless one involves a catapult, plane, spaceship or any other mechanism that can render them airborne. Including your mind. The conundrum of gravity-defying livestock may have inspired the band’s name, but the guys are pretty tight-lipped when it comes to specifics. “We don’t like to let on what it means,” says bass player Carey Jolliffe. “It could refer to insomnia.” Or genetic modification. Or misuse of cannons. Those who count sheep in pursuit of unconsciousness may find solace in the first explanation. Those of us who can’t fall asleep—or do much of anything, really—without music should find comfort in the fact that whether the name came about randomly or was inspired by fear of the coming of the sheepocalypse, it’s the music that matters.

Their sound: Take Tool. Add Herbie Hancock. Mix in some Morphine and top it off with Coltrane. To the uninitiated, this mix may seem somewhat discordant. But with the right combination of musicians wielding the right kind of vision, it could actually work. It does for these guys. “We all had the same idea of the kind of music we wanted to make,” Jolliffe says. Jolliffe, saxophonist Marshall Scott, drummer Phil Rummings and percussionist Adam Moor all arrived on Maui within months of each other. Each was a musician seeking a band. They came together by way of Craigslist, and discovered that their musical visions were very much in line. It took them nearly six months to fine tune this vision before they were ready to play out (roughly a year ago). The result is a lively, quasi-jammy, nearjazz sound that gives equal weight to structure and improvisation. Theirs is a careful yet highly whimsical brand of musicianship. “We try to play tight but we let ourselves go off on tangents,” Scott says.

“Sometimes the tangents turn into something of their own.” Highly improvised tangents are a double-edged sword when playing live: They are at once conducive to some impressive on-the-spot maneuvers and the thing that could derail an entire set. Yet they’re integral to The Flying Sheep Problem’s sound. “We really do try and make things different every time,” says Jolliffe. “We go out to the edge and then we report back.” To say you’d be hard-pressed to find an even vaguely similar band on-island would be a supreme understatement, but these guys would be an anomaly pretty much anywhere. Not many bands are likely to have set lists containing standbys like “My Favorite Things” next to songs written about dumpster divers. Their originals are mostly instrumentals, and aim to tell stories by way of things like melody and momentum, moods and textures. They’re one of those bands that’s clearly having fun, which probably makes their stuff appeal most to musicians and others hip to the process of making music. Yet their sound, which teeters between catchy and dark, should appeal to anybody whose appreciation for music goes beyond treating it like wallpaper. MTW

LIVE ENTERTAINMENT - FAMILY FRIENDLY

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MARCH 05, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MINDCANDY

BY KATE BRADSHAW KATE@MAUITIME.COM

WTF?

F a O‘F ain

Kihei Caffe IS

% ma Ka 15 r fo

“Chili” at Night! Open For Dinner 5:30 – 9:30 pm

(aka Beautiful chaos)

CHOOSE FROM ART ENSEMBLE OF CHICAGO Bap-Tizum Hippies. They seem to come up with the most nonsensical names for things. I mean, ganja goo-ball? Aoxomoxoa? The Constitution? Come on. Get a job. It may please you to know, however, that the longhairs that came up with the variety of bottled fruit smoothies branded Odwalla got the name from the title of the tune that closes out jungle-art-jazz combo Art Ensemble of Chicago’s live album Bap-Tizum. At first listen, much of this disc, recorded at the 1972 Ann Arbor Jazz and Blues Festival, is discordant; maybe at times a little scary. Yet it seems, like a Cadillac with a driver who’s three-quarters in the bag, to weave between inspired, improvised jazz and primal humming/screaming/throat-clearing. It’s one of the gutsiest and most innovative records in my collection, right up there with Trout Mask Replica (I’m not sure which is more palatable). The track “Odwalla” is one of the record’s stronger, more straightforward tunes; a finger-snap-conducive cut that has more of a musical narrative than its neighbors. Try this at home: blast Bap-Tizum at full capacity when you have a nauseatingly square visitor or house guest and see how long it takes them to split.

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CONCERT SERIES PRESENTS

MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER AND OMAR KHAYYAM RAVENHURST Principia Discordia While most humans have thus far failed to recognize the detrimental failure that results from buying into organized religion, a small cluster of them have recognized the brilliance and value of adhering to disorganized religion. In the fifth edition’s forward, Ravenhurst writes that “if organized religion is the opium of the masses, then disorganized religion is the marijuana of the lunatic fringe.” One of the most important functions religions like Discordianism serve is that of exposing how silly and archaic the world’s top faiths tend to be. For example, Discordian doctrine renders eating hot dog buns on Friday an offense of the highest order. But there is much more to this religion than what it is not. The anti-religion’s chief deity is the goddess Eris, the Greek goddess of strife (whose Latin name is, of course, Discordia). Her sister, Aneris, represents order and harmony. Discordians distinguish disorder from chaos and stress that order and disorder, like the deities themselves, are human-made constructs imposed on chaos.

Gina Martinelli

W.H. AUDEN “September 1, 1939” You know how at a concert, when the band leaves the stage and there’s that moment when you’re not sure if they’re going to do an encore, every fifth person throws his or her arm into the air and ignites a lighter? For a moment, before people start to burn their thumbs, the image of all of those lighters is analogous to the collective impact of individual expression, of art, of protest. Then, the band comes back on stage and plays the song everyone has been waiting to hear. A cultural revolution occurs. A war ends. This is the image I get when reading the two final stanzas of this lengthy free-form poem, which Auden wrote in the early days of WWII. The bulk of the poem snakes through wars and other insane, chaotic and brutal historical events, and its structure—on the surface haphazard—reflects the chaos of the string of events he’s describing. Yet it ends with a message of hope. The author wishes to “show an affirming flame” while “our world in stupor lies.” The crux of this poem is embodied by the line “we must love one another or die.” MTW

FRIDAY MARCH 6 • 9 PM Dinner reservations start @ 8

Sponsored by Maui Brewing Co. and Ocean Vodka A portion of all ticket sales will be donated to Maui Hospice

Homestyle New American Comfort Food Air Conditioned Smoke Free Bar

Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner • Full Bar

Open Daily: 7:30am - 11pm • Dinner Served 5pm - 10pm

Where people & food of good taste come together! Azeka II - 874-3779

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 05, 2009

FILMCRITIQUE

BY BARRY WURST II BARRY@MAUITIME.COM

Love factually Joaquin Phoenix’s (supposed) final film is a raw, honest look at the dark side of romance oaquin Phoenix recently announced that he’s going to quit acting to pursue a career as a rap artist (yes, you read that right). If he sticks to his word (and I hope he doesn’t), Two Lovers, his third collaboration with writer/director James Gray, is his final film.

Two Lovers

★★★★ ★★ Rated R/110 min.

Phoenix is an interesting actor who can come across as either nerdy or suave, conveying cool confidence or awkward inadequacy, depending on the role. His prior two films for Gray were The Yards and We Own The

MARCH 05, 2009

Night, brooding character dramas about flawed individuals struggling to do right when every impulse guides them towards destruction. Gray’s films are heavy—be warned—but they’re honest, engrossing portraits of human nature. In Two Lovers, Phoenix stars as Leonard, a lonely, depressed, bipolar single man who lives with his parents and gives in when they force him to date Sandra (Vinessa Shaw), the daughter of a family friend. Even as Leonard falls for Sandra and courts her to the approval of his and her parents, he stumbles upon Michelle (Gwyneth Paltrow), a neighbor in his apartment complex with a troubled love life but an attractively wild personality. Leonard is torn between the sweet, loyal Sandra and the sexy, free-spirited, damaged goods dream girl Michelle. Rather than break it off with one of them, he pursues them both. Gray’s elegant drama has the feel of a thriller and is yet another of his explorations of a character at a life-altering

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

crossroads. Phoenix displays stunning vulnerability and naked honesty—you may want to slap him (or at least wonder why you’ve never had to choose between two gorgeous women), but he is somehow both believable and sympathetic. Paltrow and Shaw are both solid but supporting turns by Isabella Rossellini and Elias Koteas are even better and endow the love triangle with dramatic heft. The use of darkly shaded cinematography and somber music give the feel of a tragic, Russian literature-style romance. Many will dislike the gloomy tone. On the other hand, it’s tough not to appreciate the weight and quality of the material. Gray captures the grueling, desperate pain of unrequited love; you feel this movie. Phoenix’s career has been marked by daring choices. The best actors are the ones you can’t pin down to a certain role or genre, and Phoenix certainly fits the bill. If this really is his cinematic swan song, he certainly went out with a bang; this is one of his best performances. Still,

Why kiss hot actresses when you can be a bad white rapper? the guy is young and richly talented. And really, the world already has too many white rappers. MTW Screens Wednesday, March 11 at 5 & 7:30pm at the Castle Theater in Kahului as part of the Maui Film Festival’s Candlelight Cinema series. Call 572-3456 or visit mauifilmfestival.com for more info.

MOVIECAPSULES Maui Film Festival Candlelight Cinema TWO LOVERS - R - Drama - A young photographer, whom some might say is “played by Joaquin Phoenix,” joins the Army on a bet, then drives a Bradley into a hotel swimming pool. Just kidding. Actually, after moving back in with his parents, he gets torn between two ladies; one sensible and reasonably attractive, and the other super hot but kinda psycho. 100 min.

New This Week WATCHMEN - R - Action - Sunshine, lollipops and a full 163 minutes of rebel superheroes kicking the piss out of commies for your Reagan-lovin’ pleasure. The US is amid nuclear war with Russia. Superheroes have been forced to retire, but one lurks in the shadows to fight for justice. Et cetera. 163 min.

Now Showing CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC PG - Thriller - This one actually sounds kind of twisted. A young New York City woman gets herself into debilitating credit card debt due to a grotesque shopping addiction, but manages to score a gig writing a financial advice column. Regardless, she finds her life unraveling because of her debt...this is a Disney flick, so I’m guessing the ending will be a happy one. 112 min. CORALINE (3D) - PG - Animation - A young girl discovers a parallel reality with striking similarities to her own mundane existence. Luckily, there some sinister nonbear elements that threaten to tear away at her host reality. 100 min. THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON - PG13 - Drama - Old baby gets young, life lessons ensue, everyone’s happy. 120 min. FIRED UP - PG13 - Comedy - A couple of high school football dudes ditch football camp in favor of cheerleader camp. There is an infinitesimal possibility that hijinks and/or shenanigans will not ensue, but let’s not bank on that. 90 min. FRIDAY THE 13TH - R - Horror - In this absolutely necessary remake of a classic horror flick, a young dude stumbles upon an abandoned summer camp after going to the woods to look for his missing sister. He ends up among a bunch of partying college kids, all of whom begin to learn the hard way that bears are not the only killing machines that live in the woods. 95 min. GRAN TORINO - R - Drama - Clint Eastwood plays a grizzled racist/Korean War veteran who has remained in his Detroit neighborhood despite white flight (hey, that rhymed!). His concept of reality gets thrown for a loop through his interactions with a family of Hmong immigrants. 114 min. HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU - PG13 - Comedy - A group of loosely-connected young-ish people, all fumbling through the whole romantic relationship minefield, all dealing with their own shortcomings as well as those of the people that surround them, all figure it out in the end, presumably. 129 min. INKHEART - PG - Fantasy - A young girl’s father discovers he has the power to bring certain characters from the stories he reads to life. Unfortunately none of these characters are Jesus, Pan or even Tom Sawyer (all of whom are the topic of about six Rush songs). 106 min. THE INTERNATIONAL - R - Action - Here we have an attractive and unlikely pair (Naomi Watts in the form of a New York prosecutor and an Interpol agent played by Clive Owen) that happens upon a very powerful bank that sees nothing wrong with funding terrorism. As they cruise the globe in search of, I don’t know, clues?, they find that their own lives may be at risk. And not because of bears. 118 min. JONAS BROTHERS: THE 3D CONCERT EXPERIENCE - G - Art, Foreign - A touching exploration of the human condition that chronicles the momentum of a nuanced musical performance that may finally, once and for all, solve the question that has long rattled throughout the halls academia: which Jonas brother is cutest? 76 min. MADEA GOES TO JAIL - PG13 - Comedy A Tyler Perry film involving Tyler Perry done up Big Mama style and ending up in prison aside a young and formerly crack-addled prostitute. Hi-larious. 103 min. MILK - R - Drama - The life of gay activist and groundbreaking San Francisco political

BY KATE BRADSHAW CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

figure Harvey Milk is one of the most remarkable stories of 20th century politics. Milk’s word-ofmouth, pseudo grassroots campaign (there was nothing usual about his approach to politics) emphasized the need to change the public perception of gay men and women from overlooked to empowered. 129 min. NEW IN TOWN - PG13 - Comedy - A Renee Zellweger-esque woman is climbing the corporate ladder. A project that guarantees a promotion lands her in a podunk town where she inevitably meets a dreamy gentleman. Sacrificing one’s career for a dude is the worst thing a girl can do, so let’s hope that doesn’t happen. 96 min. PAUL BLART: MALL COP - PG - Comedy - A scathing commentary questioning the aptitude of quasi-governmental entities that occupy mercantile centers in present-day New Jersey while tackling the most complex of existential quandries. 87 min. PINK PANTHER 2 - PG - Comedy - They made a second Pink Panther. 92 min. PUSH - PG13 - Action - A young dude and a teenage girl are forced to battle a destructive element that works outside the physical realm with hilarious results. 95 min. THE READER - R - Drama - A young man has a bit of a fling with a woman twice his age, who spontaneously disappears. Years later, when he is observing a Nazi war crimes trial, he runs into her again, only to discover she has a secret. 122 min. SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE - R - Art, Foreign - A Mumbai street kid attempts to become a contestant on India’s ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire’ to find the girl he loved and lost. 110 min. STREET FIGHTER: THE LEGEND OF CHUNLI - PG13 - Action - Based on the Streetfighter video game series, this chronicles the life of kickass girl contender Chun-Li. Pro: it’s like a video game, except that you don’t have to do anything. Con: you have to get off the couch if you want to see it. 96 min. TAKEN - PG13 - Drama - It’s been, what, two weeks since you’ve seen a movie or television show involving government operatives, kidnapping and conspiracies? This one stars Liam Neeson as a CIA agent whose daughter gets kidnapped. Good times. 93 min. THE WRESTLER - R - Drama - A retired wrestler, past his prime, attempts to feel the glory of the limelight one more time while trying to come to terms with other stuff. 110 min.

THEATRES MOVIES ON YOUR SCHEDULE GREAT SEATING

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(Or any other time!)

RELIGULOUS (R)

12:00 • 12:05 • 1:30 • 6:00 • 8:40

(Or any time you want!)

SECRET LIFE OF BEES (PG13) 10:20 • 12:05 • 2:30 • 4:10 • 10:10

(Or when you feel like it!)

SOUL MEN (R)

10:10 • 11:05 • 2:20 • 5:00 • 6:40

(Or when it’s convenient!)

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS (R)

10:10 • 11:05 • 2:20 • 5:00 • 6:40

(Or when you decide!)

CITY OF EMBER (PG)

10:10 • 11:05 • 2:20 • 5:00 • 6:40

(Or even right now!)

WITH iCONTROL, YOU HAVE THE POWER TO PAUSE, FAST FORWARD AND REWIND USING YOUR DIGITAL REMOTE. TUNE INTO DIGITAL CHANNEL 990 FOR OVER 100 MOVIE TITLES TO CHOOSE FROM TO ORDER DIGITAL CABLE, CALL OCEANIC TIME WARNER CABLE AT 643-2337

SHOWTIMES Maui Film Festival Castle Theater, 572-3456 Two Lovers - R - 5, 7:30

Front Street Theater 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-F until 6:30pm, Sa-Su until 3:30pm, Discount Tue), Confessions of a Shopaholic - PG - Th 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30 Push - PG13 - Th 4:45, 7:15, 9:45 The Reader - R - F-W 4:15, 7, 9:45. Sa-Su 1:30, 4:15, 7, 9:45. Slumdog Millionaire - R - Th 4, 6:45, 9:30. FW 4, 6:45, 9:30. Sa-Su 1:15, 4, 6:45, 9:30. Watchmen - R - F-W 3, 3:45, 6:30, 7:15, 9:45, 10:30. Sa-Su 11:30, 12:15, 3, 3:45, 6:30, 7:15, 9:45, 10:30.

Ka’ahumanu 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 1-800326-3264 (Matinees: everyday until 4pm), Fired Up - PG13 - Th 11:10, 1:10, 3:15, 5:30, 7:25. F-Sa 11:15, 1:10, 3:15, 5:20, 7:25. Su-W 1:10, 3:15, 5:20, 7:25. Gran Torino - R - Th 2, 4:30, 7. F-Sa 1:45, 4:25, 7:05. Su-W 11:05, 1:45, 4:25, 7:05. He’s Just Not That Into You - PG13 - Th 11, 12, 3, 6. F-Sa 11, 1:50, 4:40, 7:30, 10:20.Su-W 1:50, 4:40, 7:30, 10:20. The International - R - Th 1:40, 4:20, 7. F-Sa 11:10, 1:40, 4:20, 7:05, 9:45. Su-W 1:40, 4:20, 7:05, 9:45. Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li PG13 - Th 11, 1:15, 3:25, 7:45. F-Sa 11, 1:15, 3:25, 5:35, 7:45, 9:55. Su-W 1:15, 3:25, 5:35, 7:45, 9:55. Taken - PG13 - Th 11:20, 1:25, 3:30, 5:35, 7:40. F-Sa 11:20, 1:25, 3:30, 5:35, 7:40, 9:45. Su-W 1:25, 3:30, 5:35, 7:40, 9:45.

Kukui Mall 1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 ( Matinees: everyday until 4pm), He’s Just Not That Into You - PG13 - Th 1:50, 4:40, 7:35 Milk - R - Th 1:45, 4:25, 7:10. F-Su 11:10, 1:45, 4:25, 7:10, 9:45. F-Su 11:15, 1:40, 4:30, 7:30, 10. M-W 1:45, 4:25, 7:10. The Reader - R - F-Su 11, 1:35, 4:20, 7, 9:40. MW 1:35, 4:20, 7, 9:40. Slumdog Millionaire - R - Th 1:45, 4:30, 7:30. F-Su 11:15, 1:40, 4:30, 7:30, 10. M-W 1:40, 4:30, 7:30. Watchmen - R - F-Su 12, 3:10, 4:10, 7:20. M-W 1, 4:10, 7:20.

Maui Mall Megaplex Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm), Confessions of a Shopaholic - PG - Th 1:35, 4:05, 6:35, 9:25. F-W 1:35, 4:05, 6:35, 9:25. Coraline (3D) - PG - Th 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10. F-Su 12, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10. M-W 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - PG13 - Th only 4:30, 8 Friday the 13th - R - Th only 2:05, 4:25, 6:45, 9:10 Inkheart - PG - Th 1:40, 4:10, 6:40, 9:15. F-W 1:40, 4:10, 6:40, 9:15. Jonas Brothers:The 3D Concert Experience G - Th 1:30, 4, 6:30, 9. Th 3, 5, 7, 9. F-Su 1, 3, 5, 7, 9. M-W 3, 5, 7, 9. Madea Goes to Jail - PG13 - Th-W 1:30, 4, 6:30, 9 New In Town - PG13 - Th only 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:20 Paul Blart: Mall Cop - PG - Th-W 2:40, 4:55, 7:15, 9:30. F-Su 12:30, 2:40, 4:55, 7:15, 9:30. Pink Panther 2 - PG - Th-W 2:45, 5:05, 7:25, 9:45. F-Su 12:25, 2:45, 5:05, 7:25, 9:45. Push - PG13 - Th-W 1:45, 4:20, 7:05, 9:40. Slumdog Millionaire - R - Th 3:25, 6:15, 9:05. F-Su 12:35, 3:25, 6:15, 9:05. M-W 3:25, 6:15, 9:05. Watchmen - R - F-Su 11:30, 12:15, 1, 3, 3:45, 4:30, 6:30, 7:15, 8, 9:45, 10:30, 11:15. M-W 12:15, 3, 3:45, 6:30, 7:15, 9:45, 10:30.

Wharf Cinema Center 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day), Madea Goes to Jail - PG13 - F-W 2, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15. Sa-Su 11:45, 2, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15. Street Fighter:The Legend of Chun-Li - PG13 - F-W 12, 2:15, 4:30, 6:50, 9:20. Sa-Su 2:15, 4:30, 6:50, 9:20. The Wrestler - R - F-W 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30. Sa-Su 11:45, 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 05, 2009

THIS WEEK’S PICKS Beachfront property?

That’s right! Music!

Saturday (Mar. 7), 5:15pm, Old Lahaina Lu‘au

Saturday (Mar. 7), 4pm-12am, Mulligan’s On the Blue

It’s impossible for me to fathom moving through life with a mindset that frames everything in terms of commodity and individual gain. Imagine a life with no sense of aesthetics, no awe, no intrinsic desire to hold some things sacred, not even phenomenally gorgeous natural landscapes. Imagine walking along the shore at Oneloa/Big Beach and, instead of being overwhelmed by the place’s profound beauty and significance, dreaming of the kind of money that would pile up if only you could make the place die by way of development. Yet there are people who think this way, and they often get themselves into positions where they can demolish pristine environments, and are even encouraged to do so by unquestioning elected officials. Thus, people who care about the land have to learn the language of money if they are to be heard. Maui Coastal Land Trust has caught on to this, and for the eighth year in a row is putting on its Buy Back the Beach Luau, which will raise funds for the nonprofit’s coastal conservation efforts. Mana‘o Radio’s Kathy Collins emcees, and Willie K. is slated to perform. $150.

When I say that music may be the most important thing that’s ever crossed my threshold of perception, you may take that as hyperbole. But it’s not. For me music is like air; an essential element that determines the quality of an experience. I get transfixed on a band or album, which subsequently serves to define the era of my life in which I got hooked. (Right now I’m on my third Buffalo Springfield kick.) I know that when it comes to this addiction to music I am not alone. And that is why the South by Southwest music festival/conference exists. This year a few Hawaii bands are headed to Austin to perform during the event, including Maui’s own Anuhea as well as A Kettle Prime. To help cover the costs associated with traveling to and playing in Austin during this week, A Kettle Prime has put together a fundraiser that features a number of local acts, including Erin Smith & the Throwdowns, Ryan Robinson, Kanekoa and yours truly (a little shameless self-promotion never hurt anyone). AKP headlines. The event also features silent auctions and, yes, beer. $12 in advance/$18 at the door.

THURSDAY

MARCH 05, 2009

➤➤➤➤➤ FRIDAY ➤➤➤➤➤ SATURDAY ➤➤➤➤➤ SUN

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

BY KATE BRADSHAW

A long way to go

The brutal truth

Monday (Mar. 9), 7pm, Ka Lama 103, MCC

Tuesday (Mar. 10), 7pm, Cameron Center, Wailuku

This Sunday marks the 100th observation of Women’s Day, a day meant to observe the accomplishments of the female gender. In 1911 the celebration earned the handle International Women’s Day. In some circles the occasion has devolved into a diluted Valentine’s Day, but in others it’s going strong. The day after the 2009 installment of Women’s Day, Maui Peace Action will bring activist Jane Roberts to MCC to talk about the state of women’s health and reproductive issues. Roberts, who was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in 2005, is doing something remarkable. When the Bush Administration announced that it was going to cut the U.S.’s $34 million in funding to the UN’s Population Fund in 2002, Roberts launched a campaign to get 34 million Americans to donate one dollar to replace the lost money (which had constituted over 10 percent of the organization’s budget). The UNPFA is an organization that works to ensure women’s rights to plan their families and live free from worry of contracting HIV/AIDS and falling victim to gender-based violence. As of January 19, 2009 Roberts has raised $4,014,180. Not bad, but she’s got a way to go. Free.

One of the silver linings of our current era is that while it can seem like everything is on the brink of collapse, we still have the opportunity and the resources it would require to change our ways; to transition comfortably into a more sustainable mode. What we eat and how we produce it is one major area we can learn from our mistakes before it’s too late. This is why it’s important for us to know about the pitfalls of the food industry, even if it challenges accepted viewpoints. Farm Sanctuary founder Gene Baur, who speaks Tuesday, will present some of the less pretty aspects of the practices that render cuddly creatures into various meals, aspects he discusses in his best-selling book Farm Sanctuary: Changing Hearts and Minds About Animals and Food. Baur has worked to expose unsavory slaughterhouse (a word most meat producers have ditched for PR purposes) practices as well as his organization’s efforts to rescue and rehabilitate the victims of said practices. Anything to get more people to think about what they’re eating, and maybe even change their ways, is valuable these days. Copies of Baur’s book will be available and vegan refreshments will be served. Free.

DAY

➤➤➤➤➤MONDAY ➤➤➤➤➤TUESDAY ➤➤➤➤➤WEDNESDAY

In the heart of Olde Makawao Town

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY CASANOVA’S FAMOUS

Friday March 6th

THE BIG BANG BREAK BEAT EXPLOSION WITH Dj DANIEL J dubtek/breaks

Dj ZABOGA

jump up/drum ‘n bass

Dj ASTRO RALPH old school/new school Music Starts at 9:30pm $5 Cover

LADIES NIGHT Q103 and the Big Hawaiian present

Dj Styles & dj Jammin J THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA THE AWARDS

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” and “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI” Music Starts at 10:00pm $10 cover

Saturday

March 7th

Q103 presents

TEOMON & THE KRYPTONES DJ HERBALIS

Maui’s Reggae Music Starts at 10:00 pm $10 cover

Make it a memorable evening. Dine and dance at Casanova. For dinner reservations call 572-0220 www.casanovamaui.com

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 05, 2009

Big Shows Sam & Howard Ahia: Generations - Fri, Mar 6. This legendary father and son team from Maui jam on stage with their mellow island tunes. $25. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. A Kettle Prime “Austin or Bust” Fundraiser - Sat, Mar 7. Help a Maui band get to Austin during this year’s South by Southwest music conference and festival. Special guests include Erin Smith and the Throwdowns, Ryan Robinson, Kanekoa and Kate Bradshaw. $12/$18 door. 4 p.m.12 a.m. Mulligan’s on the Blue, 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 96753. 874-1131. Buy Back the Beach - Sat, Mar 7. The 8th Annual Maui Coastal Land Trust Buy Back the Beach benefit lu’au wil feature Kathy Collins as emcee and performances by Willie K and others. 5:15 p.m. Old Lahaina Luau, 1251 Front St., Lahaina, 96761. 244-5263. Mojo Gumbo/Latitude 21 N - Sat, Mar 7. Maui’s favorite eclectic swamp stew music outfit teams up with one of the island’s most prolific jazz bands for a night of blues, jazz, R&B and who knows what else? $25. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Maui Pops Spring Fest - Sun, Mar 8. This Year’s Maui Pops Orchestra Spring Fest has a theme of “Las Vegas Review” and will feature pianist Hyperion Knight and Hawaiian jazz singer Jimmy Borges. $10/$21/$26/$36. 3:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Stage Bus Stop - Mon. A clever comedy, Bus Stop revolves around a handful of unlikely characters

who get snowed in at a diner. This Bare Essentials Theater reading of the William Inge play is free. 6:30 p.m. Iao Theater, Wailuku, 96793. 242-6969. Picnic - Daily. The students at Seabury Hall bring this production, which chronicles life in the fifties, to life. Sally Sefton directs a story that consists of interrelated narratives that portray the lives of a mother, the spinster school teacher she takes in as a boarder, the dry-goods store-owner she dates, a drifter and others. Show runs through 3/13. $11/$9 seniors/$5 students. Fri & Sat, 7:30 p.m.; Sun, 3 p.m. Seabury Hall Performing Arts Studio, Makawao, 97868. 573-1257.

Tickets on Sale Augie T - Sat, Mar 14. This award-winning, megapopular comedian and drive time DJ returns to Maui to crack some jokes about Hawaii life. $25. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Montessori School of Maui’s Crystal Ball Fundraiser - Sat, Mar 14. Camelot is the theme at this year’s swanky fundraiser, so get your Guinnevere on. Ocean Vodka hosts a martini bar, which is pretty sweet, especially when coupled with hors d’oeuvres and gourmet dinner by Celebrations. There will also be a live auction, dancing and fortune telling, among other things, so, you know. $150. 5 p.m. Hui No`eau Visual Arts Center, Makawao. 573-7568.

early for cocktails in the courtyard. $20. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Home: Inside & Out - Sun, Mar 15. Three young Hawaiian men, each from a different island, will perform a series of vignettes that deal with home, family and cultural identity. Tickets available at MACC box office, by phone and through mauiarts.org. $20/keiki half price. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469. India Jazz Suites - Thu, Mar 19. Award-winning dancers Chitresh Das and Jason Samuels Smith perform alongside one another put on a rare, eclectic and captivating performance that spans all genres and embraces both tradition and innovation. $12/$22/$37. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Diana Krall - Sat, Mar 21. Grammy-winning jazz vocalist and pianist Diana Krall comes to Maui for one night of cool, smooth, genre-transcending tunes. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

SOME HERE

ALL

online CALENDAR

MHS 2009 Fur Ball - Sat, Mar 21. Yeah, you read right. It’s Maui Humane Society’s annual fundraiser. Features silent auction, entertainment, dinner, a no-host bar, and more. For the kiitties. $125. 5-11 p.m. Wailea Beach Marriott Resort & Spa, Wailea, 96753. 877-3680 ext. 32.

Journey - Mon, Mar 23. She was just a small-town girl...help me here, on mauitime.com what comes next? Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” is the most downloaded song in iTunes history. Unitard - Sat, Mar 14. The latest Hmmm. Anyway, this late-70s, early 80s icon will installment of Manhattan Mama’s fabulous rock out Maui for your listening pleasure. Coconut Cabaret series, Unitard purveys irreverent $56/$66/$86. 7 p.m. MACC Lawn. 242-7469. sketch comedy wherein nothing is sacred. Come

Na Leo Pilimehana - Sat, Mar 28. The translation of this best-selling Hawaiian female trio’s name is “voices blending together in warmth.” These three family women and long-time friends not only write and record their tunes, but they have even launched their own record label. $12/$28/$37. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Frank DeLima - Fri, Apr 3. One of Hawaii’s most popular comedians, DeLima’s “Chop Suey Nation” sketches feature characters, parodies and sketches that celebrate Hawaii’s diversity. $25/keiki half price. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469. David Benoit - Sat, Apr 11. This five-time Grammy-nominated jazz pianist will be accompanied on stage by Phil and Angela Benoit of Benoit Jazz Works fame. $20/$30/$40. 7 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Poncho Sanchez - Thu, Apr 23. Grammy-winning Sanchez’s musical influences span the globe. His sound incorporates Latin rhythms, R&B, AfroCuban and other genres for an eclectic and danceable sound that Sanchez experimented with in L.A. in the 60s. $12/$30/$40/Under 18 half price. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Events THURSDAY, MAR 05 Habitat for Humanity Meeting - Home ownership opportunities, home renovations and home modifications for seniors will be discussed at the meeting, which is mandatory for those interested in said Habitat services. 5-6:30 p.m. Waihee School Cafeteria, Waihee, 96793. 893-0334. Golden Retriever Club - Take the dog for a walk, meet other goldens and their owners. Meet

THURSDAY, MARCH 5

SOUTH MAUI’S

BIGGEST MONTHLY

844 FRONT ST., LAHAINA • 667-7758

MARCH 05, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

2511 S. KIHEI RD., KIHEI • 891-8600

PARTY

2511 S. KIHEI RD., KIHEI • 891-8600

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 03/05

Friday 03/06

Saturday 03/07

Sunday 03/08

Monday 03-09– Wednesday 03/11

DJ Del Sol No cover, 10pm

Estee Graham No cover, 10pm

Erin Smith No cover, 10pm

Ramzi No Cover, 10pm

MON -Gina Martinelli; TUE - Kahala & Indio; WED Karen Be

Latitude 21 N

BrownChicken BrownCow String Band

Joe Benedett

MON - Open Mic

The Big Bang: Break Beat Explosion; $10, 10pm

Teomon & the Kruptones. $10, 10pm

WED - Ladies’ Night, $10, 10pm

Latin Night

Love N Light Presents

DJ Blast

MON - Manic Mondays; TUE - Hot Latin Tuesdays;

Smokin’ Hot Thursdays 9:30pm

Guerrilla Jazz 10pm

Live Music

MON - Willie K, $10, 9pm

Orin & Junior

Dave Carroll No cover

Quiz Night (Super Freak Out)

Pau Hana

Da Kine

MON - Jordan, 10pm, No cover; TUE - Scott Baird & Merika, 10pm, No cover

Anick Biolette Band

Anuhea/Vince Esquire

Up Next

TUE - Backyard Jam, 7pm

Benefit Party 10pm

Ultra Fab w/ DJ Michael Fong; $10,10pm

WED - WII Wednesdays w/ DJ Michael Fong 10pm

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 891-1011

CAFE MARC AUREL 28 N. Market St. Wailuku - 244-0852

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CELLAR 744 744 Front St., Lahaina 661-3744

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-9668

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema, Lahaina - 667-0908

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

EHA’S POOL BAR 1234 Lower Main, Wailuku - 242-1177

GIAN DON’S 1445 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-4041

MON - Erin Smith; TUE - Jazz Night; WED - Howard Ahia, No cover

Eric the Whale Shark No cover

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

MON - Marty Dread & the Kryptones

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH

Rampage No cover, 10pm

Kid Continental/Bikini Contest

Na Koho

Karaoke Night

MON - Kanoa of Gomega, 10pm; TUE - Lucky Bum Girls; WED - Kahala

Karaoke

MON-WED - Karaoke

Pio Marasco: Chill N Deep No cover, 9pm

DJ Boomshot $10, 9:30pm

DJ CIA No cover, 9:30pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

ISANA 515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

JACQUES 120 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8844

at dog park across from Wailea Fire Station. 5:30 p.m. Wailea Dog Park. An Evening with Wayne Dyer - Dyer will be returning to Maui to screen his first-ever film, Ambition to Meaning: Finding Your Life’s Purpose, which is about panda bears. Just kidding. The film chronicles the lives of three individuals whose lives could use a change or two. The focus here is cultivating a life of meaning and giving. Dyer himself appears in the film. $20. 6:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469. Meet the Author - Feng Shui for Hawaii Author Clear Englebert will discuss how to apply feng shui concepts in everyday life in Hawaii. 6:30-7:45 p.m. Wailuku Public Library, 251 High Street, Wailuku, 96793. 243-5766. Cinema Night - Cafe Mambo will be hosting an evening of classic and cult classic films for the 21 and older crowd. This week’s flick is Austin Powers. 9 p.m. Cafe Mambo, Paia. 579-8021.

FRIDAY, MAR 06 First Friday Celebration - Who says there’s nothing happening in Wailuku? First Friday is always a good time. This month it’s The Flying Sheep Problem, a rock/jazz/funk outfit that’s quite entertaining. Stroll down Market Street, check out the goods and have a beer Check out the Aloha Poetry Slam at the promenade (aka the food court at 2050 Main St.) and Sing Sing, Laugh Laugh at Unisan. 58 p.m. Main Street between Market and Vineyard, Wailuku, 96793. 871-7711. Free Film: Message in the Waves - Hawaii’s top scientists, surfers, environmental activists, Jack Johnson and others discuss the perilous impact plastic has on life in the sea. 6-7 p.m. Maui Ocean Center, Ma`alaea. 270-7000. Maui Waena Band - Check out this free musical performance at center stage. 7 p.m. Queen Kaahamanu Center, Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului, 96732. 877-3369. Sacred Hearts Bazaar - This is the school’s 37th annual bazaar. The astonishing array of performers set to play at this free event include Marty Dread, Erin Smith and the Throwdowns, Kulewa and the Sacred Hearts Choir (Fri.) as well as Gomega, An Den, Silky Ringo and Lau Oho (Sat.). KPOA DJs Uncle Poki and Sista Val emcee and tons

of local fare will be provided by various vendors. Free. Fri. & Sat. 4-10 p.m. Sacred Hearts School, 239 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 96761. 661-4720.

SATURDAY, MAR 07 Swap Meet - From camo hunting gear and koa carvings to vintage aloha postcards and delicate, locally-crafted jewelry, this place pretty much has it all. Killer produce market, too. Admission: 50 cents. 7 a.m.-12 p.m. Maui Community College, Kahului Harbor side. 877-3100. Auwahi Restoration Workday - Take part in a dryland forest restoration up der on da mountain. Wear boots that cover the ankle and clean all supplies and clothing of any seeds that might “hitchhike” to the area. Bring layers, lunch, water and sun protection. Meets at Ulupalakua Store. Call to register. 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Ulupalakua. 573-8989. Holokai Club - This monthly keiki event features arts & crafts, performances, educational materials, activities and other fun stuff. This month’s theme: Whales Ahoy! 10 a.m.-12 p.m. Queen Kaahamanu Center, Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului, 96732. 877-3369. YMCA Yard Sale - Dirt-cheap items available at this sale include children’s items, clothing, books, electronics, sporting goods, furniture, home and garden and more. 7 a.m.-12 p.m. 250 Kanaloa Ave., Wailuku, 96793. 248-8355.

these plants are sold in health food stores. In these times, itís nice to know what you can eat from your lawn. Visit www.haliimailegarden.com. for directions. $5 suggested donation. 1-3 p.m. Email ediblewalk@gmail.com for more information. Sacred Hearts Bazaar - This is the school’s 37th annual bazaar. The astonishing array of performers set to play at this free event include Marty Dread, Erin Smith and the Throwdowns, Kulewa and the Sacred Hearts Choir (Fri.) as well as Gomega, An Den, Silky Ringo and Lau Oho (Sat.). KPOA DJs Uncle Poki and Sista Val emcee and tons of local fare will be provided by various vendors. Free. Fri. & Sat. 4-10 p.m. Sacred Hearts School, 239 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 96761. 661-4720.

SUNDAY, MAR 08 Central Valley 12k - The race, sponsored by the Hawaii Elite Track Team, starts at Home Depot and ends at Kenolio Park in Kihei. Check-in is at 6 a.m. $25/$15 keiki; $10 late registration fee. 7 a.m. Home Depot, Kahului. 280-8051.

Maps! Links! Addresses! Phone #s! CALENDAR on mauitime.com

Rummage Sale Benefit - Find household items, plants, baked goods, clothing and lots more. Proceeds to Perpetuate Hawaiian culture by benefiting Halau Kauluokala. 8 a.m. Ka’ahumanu Church 103 Hight St. Wailuku. 250-8581. Art Fair - Members of the Lahaina Arts Society will display their wares beneath the banyan tree. Includes cultural crafts ad Maui-inspired arts. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Banyan Tree Park, Lahaina, 96761. 661-0111. Medicine at Your Feet - The Haliimaile Community Garden will be specially open to the public for this event. Learn about wild edible and medicinal plants with herbalist and scholar David Bruce Leonard. Often considered weeds, many of

Swap Meet - From camo hunting gear and koa carvings to vintage aloha postcards and delicate, locally-crafted jewelry, this place pretty much has it all. Killer produce market, too. Admission: 50 cents. 7 a.m.-12 p.m. Maui Community College, Kahului Harbor side. 8773100.

Art Fair - Members of the Lahaina Arts Society will display their wares beneath the banyan tree. Includes cultural crafts ad Mauiinspired arts. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Banyan Tree Park, Lahaina, 96761. 661-0111. Mental Health Kokua’s 18th Annual Whale Watch - Check out the whales, support a good cause. $30/$12.50 keiki. 3-5 p.m. Ma’alaea Harbor. 244-7405.

MONDAY, MAR 09 Hula Show - A chance to check out some lovely and authentic hula at Queen Ka’ahumanu Center’s center stage. Free. 10 a.m. Queen Kaahamanu Center, Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului, 96732. 877-3369.

TUESDAY, MAR 10 Vegetarianism Lecture - Farm Sanctuary founder Gene Baur will give a presentation on the ethics of current agricultural practices involving animals. The sanctuary is an animal welfare organization that educates the public, advocates for animal rights and rescues mistreated farm animals. A Vegetarian Society of Maui event. Free admission and refreshments. 7 p.m. Cameron Center Auditorium, 75 Mahalani St., Wailuku, 96793. 298-8544.

WEDNESDAY, MAR 11 Better Breathers - American Lung Association of Hawai`i monthly meeting for people with asthma, chronic bronchitis or other lung conditions. 2-3 p.m. Cameron Center, Wailuku. 244-5100. Reggae With the Whales - Reggae music star Marty Dread, fresh from his appearance at the Jamaican Jazz Festival, will play his tunes while the whales do their thing. A perfect sunset experience. $49.95/$39.95 keiki. 5-7 p.m. Ma’alaea Harbor. 249-8811 ext. 1.

Ongoing Building Supplies Drive - Mon-Sat. New Year’s Resolutions: get rid of the old and make a donation; someone’s trash is another’s treasures, you’ll never know what you’ll find here; a penny saved is a penny earner, find items marked 50 percent below retail; penny pinching can support a needy family build a decent and simple home. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. 399 N. Market St, Wailuku. 986-8050. Ecstatic Chanting Kirtan - Tue. Heather Neeraja Parsons and friends. Heather Neeraja leads kirtan in the tradition of Jai Uttal, Krishna Das and others, blending in her own unique style that welcomes the elements of harmony, English words mixed with Sanskrit mantras, bhajans and sublime moments of silence, prayer and meditation. $5-$10. 7 p.m. 115 East Lipoa St. Ste. 202, Kihei. 874-9642. Free HIV/Hepatitis C Testing and Counseling - Mon-Fri. Available from the Hawaii Dept. of Health. Free Hepatits A & B Vaccines also available. Times and locations vary around the island. 984-2129.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 05, 2009

Israeli Folk Dancing - Every Tue & Wed. The public is invited to experience the music and dance of Israel, sponsored by the Jewish Congregation of Maui. $5 suggested donation. 6-8 p.m. (Upcountry dance sessions take place at Grace Church in Kula Sundays from 4-5:30 p.m.). Beit Shalom Synagogue, 634 Alulike St., Kihei. 280-1051.

Thursday, Mar. 5th

HOT LATIN Latin Takeover $2 Bud Light $3 Fernets Bennie Blanco Drink Specials

Friday, Mar. 6th

LOVE N LIGHT PRESENTS

FUNK SHUI

NATURE BOY • N8 • DANIEL J $2 Bud Light Drafts and $4 Mai Tais 10–11pm

Saturday, Mar. 7th

DJ BLAST $2 Bud Light Drafts

Sunday, Mar. 8th

Speed Dating - Tue. Sit down for a round of three-minute dates. Who knows, you could find true love... or at least someone you might want to spend a whole second date with. Registration: $5. 8 p.m. Wow-Wee Maui Kava Bar & Grill, Kahului. 871-1414. Toastmasters - Tue. Perfect your public speaking skills in this community club. 9 a.m., Kapalua Land Co. training center, 665-5485; 6 p.m., St. Theresa Church, Kihei, 298-3966. Ukulele Lessons - Tue. Learn some strumming techniques to impress you friends with. Free. 5:45 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-5304.

Hula Classes - Sat. Every Sat. Halau Kawaianuhealehua holds open hula classes for children, teen and adult wahines and kanes. 9 a.m. Maui Waena School. Hula Show - Every Sun & Sat. Get a taste of Hawaiian history and culture. Free. 1 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului. 877-8952. Line Dancing - Sun. Practice your tush push ya’ll and come on down for some line dancing by the Maui Paniolo Posse. Lessons: 6:30 p.m.; Dancing: 7 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. Free Parenting Class - Mon. This 12-week course is aimed at parents of difficult adolescents. There is a $25 charge for the accompanying workbook. Call for time. 300 Hoohana St., Kahului. 344-7308. High Hopes Square Dance Club - Mon. A place for beginners to pick up some steps and seasoned square dancers to show off their moves. Free. 7 p.m. Hannibal Tavares Community Center, Pukalani. 572-0671.

Monday, Mar. 9th Alternative Night DJ Astro RAF $3 Cosmos

Free Yoga Class - Daily. Sasha Lessin, Ph.D., Viniyoga Instructor, guides 90-minutes slow-motion yoga—stretching, strengthening, breathing and meditation exercises. 9-10:30 a.m. 1371 Malaihi Rd, Waiehu, 96793. 244-4103.

Positive Parenting “Hands-Off” Class - Thu. This course was designed to help parents of especially, um, challenging children 9 & over deal with the tough times in the best best way possible. Free. 67:30 p.m. Kaiser Permanente, Maui Lani. 243-6050.

Soroptimists of Maui Meeting - Wed. Visitors are welcome at this meeting of business and professional women that’s dedicated to improving the lives of women and girls in our community. 4:30 p.m. Hale Mahaolu Elima Community Hall, Kahului. 264-1775.

After-School Help - Mon-Fri. Hui Malama Learning Center offers after-school homework help and classes. Call for directions and hours. 244-5911.

• Nuff Sed • An Den • Junior Maniaco • E Ori Tahiti • Rio Maui Capoeira

MANIC MONDAYS

Tuesday, Mar. 10th

HOT LATIN Latin Takeover $2 Bud Light $3 Fernets Bennie Blanco Drink Specials Thurs., Mar. 12th -

HOT LATIN NIGHTS

LOVE N LIGHT PRESENTS DJ IRENE • DJ 00SPOT

Fri., Mar. 13th -

Sat., Mar. 14th Mon., Mar. 16th -

DJ BLAST

MANIC MON.

Tues., Mar. 17th -

HOT LATIN

Doors Open at 9 pm

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Non-Profit Polynesian Dance - Tue. Support the kids of the Napili Kai Foundation by watching their Polynesian dance show. $10 adults, $5 kids. 5:30 p.m. 669-6271.

Habitat for Humanity - Sat. Spend a few hours helping a family in need get secure shelter. 9 a.m. Call for details. 893-0334.

Pipe Up - Mon. No experience is needed for drummers and bagpipers at these open, free lesson and practices for the Isle of Maui Pipe Band. 6 p.m. Call for Direction. 876-0154.

BENEFIT FOR MAILE KAHAHANE

MARCH 05, 2009

Maui Singles Investment Club - Tue. This event gives Maui singles a chance to mingle while learning about investments. 5:30-7 p.m. Cary & Eddie’s Hideaway, Kahului. 579-9249.

Shakin’ Keiki - Fri. Come see little hula dancers in adorable outfits doing the cultural dance of their ancestors. Free. 3:30 p.m. Lahaina Center, 900 Front St. 667-9216.

Wailea 670 Cultural Preservation Registration - Daily. Honua’ula Partners is asking kanaka maoli and others knowledgeable of historic areas within the development site to sign up to participate in their Cultural Preservation Plan. To participate, mail your name and address to Honua’ula Partners, LLC, c/o Mr. Charles Jencks-Owner Representative, Pacific Rim Land, Inc., 1300 N. Holohpono Street, suite 201, P.O. Box 220, Kihei, Hi 96753. 268-0303.

KICK IT UP A NOTCH

Low Cost Acupuncture - Mon-Fri. Affordability should not be a factor when it comes to health care, which is why this upcountry clinic is offering treatments for between $20 and $30 a pop, which is a pretty good deal. No appointment necessary. Mon.-Fri., 8-1 and 4-7. Community Acupuncture Clinic, 1170 Makawao Ave. (Next to Casanova). 276-6037.

Papale Pepe Na Kupuna Knitting & Crocheting Club - Every Fri & Sat. This group meets every second Saturday and last Friday to knit and crochet caps, scarves and lap blankets for chemo patients, Hale Makua and Women Helping Women. Group members also share patterns and teach knitting and crocheting methods. Call Alma for further details or to donate. 1 p.m. Kahului, call for details. 214-9864.

Ultimate Whalewatch Experience - Wed. Join Pacific Whale Foundation researchers for an intimate presentation on whale behavior and breakfast, followed by a whalewatch. Guests will receive free whale posters and whalewatch guides. $79.95. 7-11 a.m. Ma’alaea Harbor. 2948811 ext. 1. Maui Golden Retriever Club - Thu. A chance for goldens to meet other goldens and golden owners to meet other golden owners. 3:15 p.m. Wailea Dog Park (Across from the fire station). Biofeedback - Fri. Mary Higgins, QXC/SCIO practitioner, helps you energetically rebalance after living yet another day in a toxin-filled world. Walkins only. Sliding scale pricing. 2-5 p.m. Dragon’s Den. 573-2424. Humpback Whale Outreach - Fri. Volunteers from the Hawaiian Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary will be on hand with educational materials and binoculars for those interested in viewing humpback whales near shore. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Whaler’s Village, Kaanapali. 661-4567. Job Club - Fri. Get help preparing resumes, contacting prospective employers and interviewing. Free. 3-5 p.m. Job Connections of Maui. 871-4143.

Senior Line Dancing - Mon. Line dance lessons for people 55 or better. 8:30-10 a.m. Kaunoa Senior Center, Sprecklesville. 270-7313.

Keiki

Athletic Club Outreach - Every Tue & Thu. Got tough kids? Get them instruction on Olympic weightlifting, power lifting, body building and sports-specific weight training by an experienced team of coaches. Ages 11-19. Free. 4:45-6 p.m. St. Mark Weightlifting Hall, Good Shepherd Episcopal Church, Wailuku. 244-4656. Free Keiki Art Classes - Every Mon, Tue, Wed & Fri. Lahaina Arts Society offers free children’s art classes island wide. MON - Lahaina Surf Hawaiian Housing, 3-5 p.m. & Baha’i Faith Maui Center, Makawao, 9 a.m.-12. TUE - Kehekili Park Terrace, Wailuku, 3-5 p.m. WED - Baha’i Faith Maui Center, 9 a.m.-12 p.m.; Honokowai Kau Hale, 2:30-4:30 p.m.; Ka Hale A Ke Ola, Wailuku, 4-6 p.m. FRI Haiku Boy’s and Girl’s Club, 3-5 p.m. For more info call 661-0111. West Side Storytime - Every Tue & Sat. Lahaina’s biggest bookseller is hosting keiki story time, so get them hooked on reading early. Tue., 10 a.m.; Sat., 11 a.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina. Keiki Shots - Wed. (Central Maui) Bring children up to the age of 18 without medical insurance in for vaccinations. Bring all immunization records. Walk-in basis. Free. 12-3 p.m. Wailuku Health Center. 984-8260. Keiki Issues? - Thu. The Parent Project, a program for parents of strong-willed children. Wrestle the phone away from the child and make that call. Free. 6:30-8:30 p.m. Hui Malama Learning Center. 289-5050.

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 03/05

Friday 03/06

Saturday 03/07

Sunday 03/08

Monday 03-09– Wednesday 03/11

Vince Esquire Band No cover

Kenny Roberts No cover

Way Back Machine No Cover

Kahala No cover

TUE - Da Ha-Y-ans, No cover WED - Chico & Da Kine, No cover

TBA

Ladies’ Night w/ Q103 $7, 10pm

UFC 96

TBA

MON - AnDen; TUE - Hawaiiana w/ Kilo Hana; WED The Crunch Pups, No cover, 8pm

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB 36 Keala Pl., Kihei - 875-7711

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE 355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

Mike & Mark, “Good Times”; No cover, 9pm

KIMOS 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

Karaoke

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

LOS PELONES Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-9900

Karaoke

Mickey’s One-Man Band/To Be Seen

LULU’S KIHEI 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

LULU’S LAHAINA Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

Salsa Night $7, 10pm

TUE - Kimo & Zack

Neto Latin Salsa No cover, 9pm

Inferno Fridays $5, 10pm

JR & the Boys

Reggae w/ DJZZ $5, 10pm

TUE - Rave Night w/DJZZ, $5, 10pm; WED - DJZZ No cover, 10pm

Crazy Fingers Trio 9pm

Hip Hop DJ 9pm

Kenny Roberts 9pm

MON & TUE - DJ \WED - Neto Latin Salsa

MAI TAI LOUNGE 839 Front St., Lahaina - 661-5288

MAUI BREWING CO.

Company B

Kahana Gateway Center - 669-3474

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

The Silky Ringo

DJ Decka 9pm

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

MULLIGAN’S AT THE WHARF Cinema Center, Lahaina - 661-8881

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-2414

Wee D’ono No cover, 10:30pm Karaoke w/Toby 9pm

Story Time - Thu. Keiki story time and crafts. Free. 10 a.m. Hawaiian Village Coffee, Kahana. 665-1114. Toddler Story Time - Thu. Brush up on the latest in children’s books with your little one. Free. 10 a.m. Makawao Public Library. 573-8785. Yu-Gi-Oh - Sat. Little gamester get out your cards and get ready for a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament! Free. 3 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-4766. Swimming Lessons - Sun. Valley Isle Aquatics is offering keiki swimming lessons in conjunction with the County of Maui, Community Classes. Folks can call or go to www.valleyisleaquatics.com for further information. 12:15-4:15 p.m. Kihei Aquatics Center. 572-4665. Yo Yo Workshop & Demo - Sun. Yo Yo’s are silent, so encourage your kids to learn how to use them and finally get some peace and quiet! Free. 45 p.m. Maui Toy Works. 661-5304. Keiki Chess Club - Mon. For little masterminds age 8-12. Taught by magician Neil Bruce. Free. 2:304 p.m. Makawao Public Library. 573-5313.

Lecture Hopi Prophecy Talk - Fri. Noted Native American cultural educator John Kimmey-Elele will deliver a lecture on the topic of “Hopi Prophecy: From the Beginning of Life to the Day of Purification.” A chance to see what the Hopi ancestors had to say about today’s, um, happenings. Donations accepted. 7-10 p.m. Studio Maui, 810 Haiku Rd. #265, Haiku, 96708. 575-9390. Nobel Prize Nominee Lecture - Fri. Jane Roberts, an internationally-known advocate for United Nations programs for women’s rights and co-founder of 34 Million Friends of the UN Population Fund, will speak on women’s rights, population issues and womenís reproductive health. Free. 7 p.m. MCC Ka Lama 103. 573-3255. Families With Mental Illness Course - Wed. Course aims to help families of individuals with serious mental illness. Free. 5-7:30 p.m. Cameron Center, Wailuku. 572-3757.

Workshops Surgical Weight Loss Informative Session - Thu. Learn about the procedures that work slightly faster than the Atkins. 7-9 p.m. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Kahului. 561-5511.

DJ Dolla Drink $5; 9pm

TUE - DJ Dolla Drink/DJ Decka, $5, 9pm

Austin or But (A Kettle Prime); $12/$18

Cheryl Rae Band10pm

WED - Willie K, $25/$45/$65

Wee D’ono No cover, 10:30pm

The Silky Ringo No cover, 10:30pm

MON - Duh Boyz, No cover, 10:30pm; TUE - Unifires, No cover, 10:30pm; WED - Open Mic

The Silky Ringo No cover, 10:30pm

Ai Pohaku/Kohomua/Super Ho’okoa/Rushouze Dub 5; $20, 9pm Allstarz/Manali’i; $20; 9pm

Fifth World Vision Workshop - Sat. Noted Native American educator and ceremonial leader will conducts this day-long workshop, which will focus on “setting a course for the future.” Bring a cushion and a dish for potluck lunch. $40. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Kolealea, 1120 Kaupakalea Rd., Haiku, 96708. 575-9390. Feng Shui Practitioner Training - Thu-Sun. Do you have a dream of becoming a certified feng shui practitioner? This four-day training will make it happen. Presented by the West Coast Academy of Feng Shui. Kama ‘aina discounts available. Call (650) 7129181 for more information.

TUE - Karaoke w/ Toby, 9pm

Humpback Whale Interpretive Station Daily. Learn about humpback whales and whale watch with a Pacific Whale Foundation naturalist at this free information station. 8 a.m.-12 p.m. Papawai Point, West Maui. 808-249-8811 ext. 1. Kanaha Beach Project - Every Tue & Thu. Join group leader Val Magee in removing invasive species, clearing marine debris and planting native species at Kanaha Park. Bring water, snacks and sunscreen. Wear cool clothing, a hat and good walking shoes—and bring your swimsuit if you wish for a refreshing dip afterwards! Meet at the Canoe Hale at Kanaha Beach Park in Kahului. . 8:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Kanaha Beach Park. 808-294-8811 ext. 1.

Submit Your

Listings

Animal Communication Workshop - Daily. Come learn how to understand your pet’s comon mauitime.com Save Honolua - Tue. Meeting to munication, emotional and behavor calendar@ inform, educate and involve the ioral problems, health issues and mauitime.com community on the proposed develmore. Workshop coordinator Laila opment of Honolua Bay. 6:45 p.m. del Monte is consulted to commuLahaina Civic Center. 870-0052. nicate with “problem horses” and treating of sick and injured animals all over the Smarter than a Sand Crab? - Mon-Fri. Get free world. $315. Studio Maui, 810 Haiku Rd. #265, info about marine life and answers to all those pesky Haiku, 96708. 575-9390. questions that keep you up all night. The Pacific Whale

CALENDAR

Environment

Foundation Marine Naturalists are definitely smarter than a fifth grader. The question is, are you?. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Ulua Beach, Wailea. 249-8811.

Honokowai Valley Restoration - Sat. Visit remote Honokowai Valley, which is closed to public access, with leader Ed Lindsey. Help save archeological sites of old Hawaii, pull invasive plants and possibly plant native species. Get a free t-shirt for your efforts! Sponsored by County of Maui Office of Economic Development and Hawaii Tourism Authority. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Honokowai Valley, West Maui. 808-294-8811 ext. 1. Walk Waihee - Sat. Take an educational guided tour of the Waihee Coastal Dunes. Free. 9 a.m. Call to register. 244-5263. Save the Forest - Sun. The Pacific Whale Foundation is hosting a group of 10 volunteers to pull invasive pine trees near Hosmers Grove. Transportation is provided. Bring warm clothes, long pants and closed boots. Pick ups: 7:30 a.m., Harbor Shop, 300 Ma`alaea Rd; 8:15 a.m., Upcountry Tavares Community Center. RSVP 856-8341.

Sports/fitness Dragon & Tiger Medical Chi Gung - Every Tue, Thu & Fri. This exercise is believed to fight cancer in China. Free class sponsored by the Pacific Cancer Foundation. 3-4 p.m.; 5:30-6:30 p.m. Maui YMCA, REPS Fitness Training Center, Wailea Town Center, respectively. 243-2999. Lahaina Canoe Club Weekly Paddle - Daily. Get buff, talk story, check out the scenery. Thu., 8 a.m.; Sun., 10 a.m. Hanako’o Beach Park (Canoe Beach). 870-6466.

Save Makena Meeting - Sun. Join the folks at SaveMakena.org and find out the latest on proposed developments in South Maui, the status of the general plan and the State Park Renaissance plan. Light refreshments will e served; t-shirts and bumper stickers will be available. 6-8 p.m. Kalama Heights Senior Center, 101 Kanani Rd., Kihei, 96753. 357-3134.

Building supplies - Every Wed, Thu, Fri & Sat. Spring cleaning! Donate new and nearly new building materials or purchase them at reduced prices. Volunteers needed to stock, display and price merchandise. Reduce the amount of usable building materials going into the landfill. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Habitat for Humanity, Market St., Wailuiku. 986-8050.

Full Moon Hike - Mon. Check out the full moon from the Waihee Dunes. Learn about the history and natural phenomena in this area. $25. 6-9 p.m. Maui Coastal Land Trust, 2371 Vineyard St. Wailuku, 96793. 244-5263.

Weed and Pot Club - Wed. Did that get your attention? Push up your sleeves and rake, hoe and pull weeds in a beautiful garden setting. Tools, gloves and drinking water provided. Bring sunscreen and tennis shoes. 8:30 a.m. Maui Nui Botanical Gardens, Kahului. 249-2798.

Group Run - Wed. Stay in shape while taking in some beautiful views! Group meets at Kihei Community Center. Open to runners of all ages and fitness levels. Refreshments will be provided after. Sponsored by Valley Isle Road Runners. Free. 5:30 p.m. Piilani Highway and Lipoa Parkway.

Maui Coastal Land Trust Service Project Fri. The Pacific Whale Foundation’s Volunteering on Vacation program gives you a chance to help save unique ecosystems at Maui Coastal Land Trust in Waihee. Be prepared to help weed out invasive plants or help with other tasks. Get a free t-shirt for your efforts!. 7:45 a.m.-12 p.m. Maui Coastal Land Trust, Waihee. 808-294-8811 ext. 1.

Paddling for Breast Cancer Survivors Every Mon & Wed. Get together with other survivors for canoe paddling. Free. 8 a.m. Kihei Canoe Club. 243-2999.

Daily Onsite Coral Reef Naturalist Program - Mon-Fri. Learn names of fish youíve seen while snorkeling and how to protect Mauiís reefs at Pacific Whale Foundationís free Coral Reef Information Station. Sponsored by Hawaii Tourism Authority and County of Maui Office of Economic Development. . 8 a.m.-12 p.m. Ulua Beach, Wailea. 808-249-8811.

Maui Croquet Club - Every Sun, Tue & Thu. You could be an amazing croquet player and not even know it. No mallet? No problem. 2-5 p.m. Waipuilani Park, Kihei. 879-0087.

Tai Chi - Every Mon & Fri. Get your Tai Chi in during your lunchbreak with Dr. Lorrin Pang. Free. noon12:45 p.m. State Building Plaza, Wailuku. 984-8200.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 05, 2009

Marathon Volunteers Needed - Daily. Care to help out with one of the biggest sporting events on Maui? Organizers for the 39th annual Maui Marathon are looking for folks to fill the positions of head Volunteer Coordinator, Entertainment Coordinator, and Awards Ceremony Coordinator. Are you game?. 280-5801. Volleyball Day - Sat. Bump, set, spike! Open to everyone. Free. 12 p.m. Kamaole III Beach Park, Kihei. SELF Magazine Challenge Membership Drive - Daily. The SELF challenge is a diet & fitness plan that aims to help you reach your goals. If you sign up on SELF.com for the challenge on either of these days, you will win an Aveda package that includes a coupon for a free neck and shoulder massage and other pampering treatments as well as products.

FRIDAY, MARCH 27TH 9:30 PM $20

Art Oil Painting Demonstration - Fri. Maui oil painter extraordinaire Joe Fletcher shows how it’s done. 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Viewpoints Gallery, 3620 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 96768. 572-5979. Artist Reception - Sat. Ellen Levinsky’s work is as nature-inspired as it can be. Her media include feathers and recycled paper. Have a glass of wine and talk story with this Lahaina Art Society featured artist. 6-8 p.m. Banyan Tree Gallery, Lahaina. 661-0111. Lauhala Weaving Demonstration - Sat. Pohaku Koohanohano shows how to go about this lovely craft. 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Viewpoints Gallery, 3620 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 96768. 572-5979.

PAULA FUGA •• Hard Rock Cafe Request Music ERIN SMITH • West Side Vibes THE GIRLAS Tickets available at

“Art of Trash” Entries Being Accepted Daily. This exhibit will open at Maui Mall in May of 2009 and is presented by Community Work Day and Sharing Aloha. Local artists are encouraged to submit works that give new life to discarded objects. Entry forms are available at public libraries islandwide. 573-3911. Artist Reception - Daily. The show is called iKons, and features recent works by Maui artist Carla Crow. 5-8p.m. 84 Hana Hwy. Paia. 579-9245. Maui Glass Art Expo - Daily. Features the work of 25 phenomenal glass artists (no bongs). Work is on display in the open air lobby outside Mala Wailea restaurant. 8 a.m.-10 p.m. Wailea Beach Marriott Resort & Spa. 293-9921. WOW! - Wed. Every Wed. Wailea on Wednesdays presents live island music, gallery receptions, artist appearances and more. . 6:30-8 p.m. 897-6770 x2.

RESINATION

MARCH 21 • 10 PM • $20* *PORTION OF PROCEEDS BENEFITS MUSICIANS ON CALL

Art Night - Fri. Stroll through Lahaina Town’s many art galleries. Special gallery shows, featured artists-in-action and refreshments. Each week features a different guest artist. Free. 6:30 p.m. Lahaina. 661-6284. Artist Demonstration - Fri. Lahaina Art Society member artist Ellen Levinsky’s work is as natureinspired as it can be. Her media include feathers and recycled paper. Every Friday in March she shows you how it’s done. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Banyan Tree Gallery, Lahaina. 661-0111. Oil Painting Demonstration - Fri. Maui artist Jack Hamilton shows how it’s done. 4-7 p.m. Maui Hands Gallery, Lahaina. 667-9898. Art Bistro - Mon. Local artists display their wares, from photography and painting to jewelry and sculptures. Live music, too. 5-10pm. Jacques, Paia. 808-269-0961.

Farmers market, Art/Craft Fairs 10PM–MIDNIGHT • $5 COVER

900 FRONT STREET

MARCH 05, 2009

LAHAINA, MAUI 667-7400

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Farmers’ Market and Craft Fair - Every Tue, Wed, Fri & Sat. Great deals on locally grown produce and locally made goods. 8 a.m.-5 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului. 871-1307. Ho`olokahi Arts & Crafts Fair - Every Tue & Fri. Fresh flower lei-making classes from 9-11 a.m. on Fridays. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Wailea Beach Marriott Resort south lobby. 879-1922.

Ohana Farmers & Crafters Market - Every Tue, Wed & Fri. 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 877-3369. Farmers Market of Maui - Every Mon, Wed & Fri. Sample the goods at this local market for fresh produce. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. 61 S. Kihei Rd. Honokowai Farmers Market - Every Mon, Wed & Fri. Lots of fresh local produce plus baked and canned goods. 7-11 a.m. Lower Honopiilani Hwy. Resort Craft Fair - Every Wed & Fri. Hawaiian arts and crafts. 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort. Aloha Craft Fair - Fri. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Maui Mall. 872-4320. KBH Craft Fair - Fri. Cultural crafts and live demos. 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Ka`anapali Beach Hotel lobby. 667-5978. Organic Farmers Market - Sat. Fresh produce that’s cheaper than the grocery store. 6:30 a.m.noon. Eddie Tam Memorial Center.

Poetry Open Mic - Every night is open mic night at Hawaiian Village Coffee. Kahana Gateway location, call 665-1114. Poetry Slam - Every First Fri. Poets 13 and over are encouraged to share their stuff with the First Friday crowd. Pieces are limited to three minutes. $5. 8 p.m. The Promenade (Wailuku Food Court), 2050 Main St., Wailuku, 244-3993. Express Yourself - Every Mon. Open Mic Night with music, song, poetry! Free. 7 p.m., Cafe Marc Aurel, Wailuku, 244-0852. Poetry Reading - Every second Tue, read your original work, your favorite poem, or just come to be inspired. Free. 6:30 p.m., Lahaina Public Library, 662-3950. Open Mic - Every Saturday the Maui Media Lab hosts an open mic night for poets, musicians and others who want to be heard. Sessions are recorded and fed to the internet. All ages are welcome. Free. 6-9 p.m., Maui Media Lab, Baldwin Ave, zumatribe@yahoo.com.

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Wed-Fri, John Kane; Sat, Harry Troupe; Sun, Greg DiPiazza; Mon, Tue, Marvin Tevaga. All sets 7:30-9:30 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700. Canoes - Sun, Jazz w/ John Maritano, Brian Cuomo & Friends. 3-6. 1450 Front St., Lahaina. 661-0937. Cheeseburger In Paradise - Mon, Tue, Scotty Rotten; Wed, Fri, Harry Troupe; Thu, Sat, Sun, Brooks McGuire. All sets 4:30-10:30 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855. Cool Cat Cafe - Thu, Erin Smith; Fri, Sat, Dave Carroll; Sun, Wed, Whale Sharks; Mon, Mickie Moore; Tue, Jazz; all sets 7:30-10 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908. Hula Grill - (Early sets) Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat Ernest Pua’a; Sun,Mon, Kawika Lum Ho; Tue, Jarret Roback. Early sets 3-5 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Braddah Brian & Roy; Fri, Brian, Roy & Kawika;. Sat, “TBA”; Sun, Ryan Tanaka & Friends; Mon,Oversized Productions; Tue, Roy & Friends; Wed, An Den. Late sets 6-8:30 p.m. 2435 Kaànapali Parkway, Building P, 667-6636. Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Mon-Sat, Acoustic music. All sets 7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapiìlani Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787. Kimo’s - Mon- Wed, Sat, Sun, Sam Ahia. Fri, deAquino Bradaz. All sets 6:30-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811. Leilani’s On The Beach - Fri, Scott Baird;. Sat, JD and Harry; Sun, Kilohana. All sets 2:30-5 p.m. 2435 Kaànapali Pkwy, Building J, 661-4495.

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

PINEAPPLE GRILLE 200 Kapalua Drv. Lahaina - 669-9600

Thursday 03/05

Friday 03/06

Saturday 03/07

Scotty Rotten

Damien Awai

Brian Como & Friends

DJ Mike Rozak No cover, 10pm

Karaoke

Damien Awai

Karaoke

RUSTY HARPOON 2290 Kaanapali Pkwy - 661-3123

SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 -879-0004

Sunday 03/08

Monday 03-09– Wednesday 03/11

MON - Silky Ringo;TUE - Willie K; WED, Evan Schulman

SANTA FE CANTINA

WED - Junio, Oren & Friends, No cover, 10pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7805

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

DJ Slackin No cover, 10pm

DJ Sonny No cover, 10pm

DJ Magnetic No cover, 10pm

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR STELLA BLUE’S

Gina Martinelli 9pm

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

The Butcher Brothers $3, 10pm

1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIP-UPS TAVERN 1279 2. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9299

MON - DJ Blast; TUE - DJ Nature Boy; WED - DJ Decka; All no cover, 10pm

The Crunch Pups No cover, 9pm

2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

TIFFANY’S

Kanoa of Gomega No cover, 10pm

Karaoke

MON - WED - Karaoke

DJ Malik

DJ Malik, jamallad & the Global Citizens

The New Project

Open Mic w/ Jordan

MON - Karaoke w/ Tyrone; TUE - DJ Astro Raph; WED Bobby’s Blues

808 Underground Club Night; $6, 10pm

Kevin Brown

UNISAN 2102 Vineyard St., Wailuku - 244-4500

Moose McGillycuddy’s, Lahaina - Fri, Llayne & Pro Ed; Sat, Mark & Mike. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., 667-7758. Mulligan’s at the Wharf - Fri, Hawaiian music with Uncle Louie. 5-7 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661-8881. Pioneer Inn - Thu, Ah-Tim Eleniki; Tue, Captain Billy Bones; Wed, Greg Di Piazza. All sets 6-8 p.m. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636. Rusty Harpoon - Thu, George Kahumoku, Jr., 79 p.m., Tue, Willie K., 7-9 p.m., Wed., Evan Schulman, 7-9 p.m. Whaler’s Village, Ka’anapali. 661-3123. Santa Fe Cantina - Tue, Ryan from Silky Ringo; 5-8 p.m. Fri, Mike Carrol & Friends, 4-7 p.m. Sat, Damien Awai; 5-8 p.m. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7805. Sea House Restaurant - Thu, Fri & Sat, Kincaid Basques; Su, Andrew Kaina; Mon, Albert Kaina, Tue, Kincaid Basques; Wed, Albert Kaina. All sets except Sat. 7-9 p.m. Sat set is 6:30-9p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapi`ilani Rd., Napili, 669-1500.

SOUTH MAUI Beach Bums Ma’alaea - Tue, Randall Rospond, 5-8 p.m. 300 Ma’alaea Rd. 243-2286. Haui’s Life’s A Beach - Thu, Erin Smith. 1913 South Kihei Rd., 891-8010. Longhi’s - Sat, acoustic music. 10:30-11 p.m. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891-8883 Ma`alaea Grill - Thu, Fri, Sat, Benoit Jazz Works. Wed., Kenny Roberts. All sets 6:30-9 p.m. Maalaea Harbor, 243-2206. Mulligan’s on the Blue - Thu, Rick Glencross Fri, Gail Swanson; 6-8 p.m.; Sun, Celtic Tigers, 6:30 p.m.; Mon, Acoustico, 7 p.m. Tue, Joyce & Gord; 6:30-8:30 p.m.; Wed, Willie K., 7:30 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131. South Shore Tiki Lounge - Sat, Erin Smith; Mon, Kanoa. All sets 4-6 p.m. 1913 Kihei Rd., Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444. Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café - Wed, Sat, Merv Oana; Sun, Howard Ahia Thu; Fri Margie; Tue Jamie Lawrence. All sets 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

Tradewinds Poolside Cafe - Thu, Kawika Lum Ho; Fri, Gina Martinelli; Sat, Monda Kane; Sun Merv Oana, Mon, Bobby Ingram & Fulton Tashombe; Tue, Rama Camarillo; Wed, Kaleo Cullen. All sets 6-9 p.m. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 874-6284.

Ohana Bar & Grill - Wed, Thu, Live music; Fri, Patrick Major; Sun, Wayne and Friends; Mon, Tue, Ernest Pua`a. All sets 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

CENTRAL MAUI

Tiki Courtyard - Sun-Thu, Leokane, 6 p.m. Friday, Halau Friday Hula show. 6-9 p.m.

Café Marc Aurel - Live Music on various days. Mon, Open Mic Night. 7:30 p.m. 28 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-0852. Kahului Ale House - Thu, O‘Kaleo. 5 p.m. Wed, Kilohana. 6 p.m. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului. 877-9001. Main Street Bistro - Th-Fri, Rhythm & Blues with Freedom. 57:30 p.m.. 2051 Main St., Wailuku, 244-6816.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI Hana Hou Cafe - Wed, Dorothy Betz and Les Adam with Vince Esquire. Thu, Haiku Hillbillys. Sat, Live music. Mon., The Hula Honeys All sets 6-9 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd, Haiku Cannery, 575-2661. Moana Cafe & Bakery - Wed, Benoit Jazzworks; 6:30-8:30 p.m. Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

■ KA`ANAPALI BEACH HOTEL 2525 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0011

■ NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT 5900 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Napili, 669-1500

■ RITZ CARLTON 1 Ritz Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200

future CALENDAR on mauitime.com

The Lounge - Sun, Ron; -Mon, Joshua K; Tue, Tarvin; Wed, Howard, Thu, Hallie.; Fri, Espresso; Sat, Crazy Fingers. Sun-Thu 7-10 p.m., Fri-Sat 7:30-11 p.m. 6:15-9:45 p.m. ■ ROYAL LAHAINA RESORT 2780 Keka`a Dr., Ka`anapali, 6613611 Royal Ocean Terrace - Thu, Fri, Sat, Live Hawaiian. 6-8 p.m.

71 Baldwin

Flatbread Pizza - Every first Wed, Toma Conway & Randall Rospond. 6-9 p.m. Flatbread Pizza, 89 Hana Hwy., Paia. 579-8989. Green Banana Cafe Music - Tu, Shea Argel. Th, Indio. 6-8 p.m. Green Banana Cafe-The Shops at Paia Bay, Paia, 96779. 579-9130.

RESORT SHOWS WEST MAUI ■ HYATT REGENCY MAUI RESORT & SPA 200 Nohea Kai Dr, Lahaina, 661-1234 Umalu - Thu, Off Tomorrow, 6-9; Live music nightly All sets 4-6 & 7-9p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly. ■ KAANAPALI BEACH CLUB 104 Ka`anapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000

■ GRAND WAILEA RESORT HOTEL & SPA 3850 Wailea Alanui, 875-1234 Botero Bar - Wed, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music.

Thu, Kincaid and Albert; Fri, Sat, Mon, Tue, Kincaid Basques; Sun, Kapule Paoa; Wed, Albert Kaina. All sets 7-9 p.m.

See into the

Lobby Lounge - (Early sets) Thu, Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran; Sat, Mon, Island Style Trio with hula dancing. Early sets 5:30-7:30 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson; Sat, Mon, Nils and Anastasia; Sun, Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria; Late sets 8:30-11:30 p.m. Torchlighting ceremony nightly.

■ SHERATON MAUI HOTEL 2605 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0031 Lagoon Bar - Live music nightly, All sets 6-8 p.m. Torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset nightly.

Humuhumunukunukuapua`a - Nightly, 5:30 p.m., Strolling Hawaiian Duo. ■ THE FAIRMONT KEA LANI MAUI 4100 Wailea Alanui, 875-4100 Lobby Bar - Nightly, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music. MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131 Wailea Wednesdays w/ WIllie K - Wed, 7:30-10 p.m. ■ THE SHOPS AT WAILEA 3750 Wailea Alanui East Wing - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Marti Kluth. Lower Courtyard - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Jamie Lawerence and Friends. ■ WAILEA MARRIOTT 3700 Wailea Alanui, 879-1922 Kumu Bar & Grill - Nightly, Hula dancing. 69 p.m. Mele Mele Lounge - Nighly, Live music. 911 p.m.

■ THE WESTIN MAUI HOTEL 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525

■ MAUI PRINCE HOTEL 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111

Ono Bar & Grille - Thu, Sat, Steve Sargenti; Fri, Larry Golis; Sun, Margie Heart; Mon, Ernest Puaa; Tue, Brian Haia; Wed, Pam Peterson. Tue-Sun shows, 6-9 p.m. Mon, 5:30-9 p.m.

Molokini Lounge - Mon, Wed, Fri, Sat, Mele `Ohana Duo. Tue, Thu Ron Kuala’au; Sun-Thu sets 69 p.m.; Fri, Sat sets 6-10 p.m. Sun, Mele `Ohana Duo, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Mon, Wed, Fri, Hula performance, 6-6:45 p.m.

Tropica - (Early sets) Thu, Wed, Brian Haia; Fri, Sat, Mon, Marvin Tevaga; Sun, Josh Kahula; Tue, Ernest Pua`a. Early sets 3-6 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Fri, Wed, Benny Uyetake; Sat, Tue, Mitch Kepa; Sun, Steve Sargenti; Mon, Josh Kahula. Late sets 6-9 p.m.

EAST MAUI ■ HOTEL HANA-MAUI Hana, 248-8211 Paniolo Lounge - Thu-Sun, Live music. 6:309:30 p.m.

SOUTH MAUI ■ FOUR SEASONS RESORT WAILEA 3900 Wailea Alanui, 874-8000

Main Dining Room - Thu, Sun, Hula dancing. 7:30-8:15 p.m.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 05, 2009

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ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy $ MODELS WANTED $ to ensure that it is the correct inforFor magazine print work. $250- mation that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) $900. Ages 18 to 35. 573-3712 that ad is a national ad and was not $600 WEEKLY POTENTIAL$$$ submitted directly to us. If you Helping the Government PT. No have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out Experience, No Selling. Call: 1-888-213aancan.org 5225 Ad Code L-5. VOID in Maryland and South Dakota. (AAN CAN) FREE AND ANONYMOUS HIV

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CLASSIFIEDS CONTINUED ON P. 31

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PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Screw saving the best for last. Right now go for best first, then second or third best later, if you’re still hungry for more. Don’t get to the best course of the meal already too full to properly enjoy it. There are times for frugality, and certainly sometimes it’s important to make sure you have an appropriately tempting carrot dangling at the end of the stick to keep you motivated, but right now it’s about indulging yourself and making sure you don’t miss out on the best life has to offer. If that means you must forego some of its lesser pleasures instead, so be it. Its chief delights are so good that you won’t really mind, I promise.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Fill a need. If you want to make money or be needed you must find a way to provide real value. There is no getting rich quick, not in this economy. But a truly good deal will still find buyers. You’re frequently likely to get distracted by the gaudy promises of something that’s too good to be true. None of that stuff is going to get you where you want to go—the only thing that will take you there is hard work and persistence. It’s a much longer path than you’d prefer, but—unlike the rest of them—at least it’s pointed in the right direction.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) Someone asked you for advice about something. You told them not to do it, but now they’re going ahead with it anyway. I know that bruises your ego somewhat, but don’t let that make you do something stupid, like subtly or secretly sabotaging their efforts, just so you can be right. You probably are right, but let that go. It’d be petty and childish to do otherwise. In fact, if you’re feeling kind, generous, or enlightened enough, you should consider actually helping them succeed. Your aid could make all the difference, and demonstrate that you’re not too stubborn to prove yourself wrong.

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You want to pretend it’s not fear keeping you from fulfilling this particular aspect of your potential, that there are legitimate logistical barriers between you and it. There are, but they’re ridiculously surmountable; using them as excuses is almost embarrassing. I know you’re anxious, because this particular obstacle course lies almost entirely outside of your comfort zone, and you’re so loathe to fail that you’d almost rather not try than risk it. That’s all okay. Own your concerns, but don’t try to make it seem like this is an impossible task just so you don’t have to try tackling it. It may be really difficult, but you can’t go wrong by giving it a go—certainly not as wrong as giving up before you’ve begun.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) A lie of omission is still a lie. In fact, in some ways it’s more devious and insidious than a bald ugly untruth, because it requires good people to ferret out the real story from the half story you’re telling them. Just be real. Be honest. There’s no real reason not to be, in this case, since the people you’re keeping things from would react maturely and compassionately to whatever you’re hiding. Quit the junior-highworthy games. Operate under the assumption that people will figure things out regardless, and you’ll just come off shady if you didn’t disclose and own them from the get-go.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) Which do you like more: playing, or winning? Your natural and understandable inclination is to play your best and hardest 100% of the time. Unfortunately, in this particular scenario, that means you win every time—which is no fun for anyone else. People won’t stick around very long. It’s a drag to play and lose every time, even if the winner is sweet and magnanimous (which, admit it, you’re not, always). I know you’re almost philosophically incapable of throwing even the occasional game, but you might want to consider it—since the alternative is not playing at all.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) You’ve always fancied yourself the noble hero, a legend in your own time. So how is it that you’ve ended up cast in the role of the troll under the bridge? Could it be that every troll is someone just like you? Whether you get stuck here, forever demanding a troll-toll from hapless passersby, or this turns out to be only a temporary avocation, I hope you’ll consider the innocuous route that got you here, and consequently see the trolls you encounter in the future in an entirely different light. They may deserve more of the benefit of the doubt than you’ve generally given them.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Living green (trying not to have a negative environmental impact) is an ideal most of simply can’t meet. We have bad habits, and breaking them intelligently is difficult and expensive. However, I think it’s important to aim for lofty goals that we may or may not yet be able to fully realize. Just heading in that direction is a good idea—it’ll develop your willpower, resourcefulness, and perhaps even make your life richer and more satisfying, if you’re lucky. The wrong thing to do would be to say, “I’ll never get to the end of this particular road, so why bother walking it at all?” Your assessment may be right—you might never achieve this goal. But your conclusion is wrong. In the trying, you’ll become a better person.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) If you went away to college, you probably remember that heady feeling of nearly limitless potential. Since no one knew you, you were free to reinvent yourself from the ground up. No one had to know you were geeky and awkward or boring and popular in high school. You could be anyone you wanted to be, and try on new ways of interacting with people unburdened by your history. Rarely in life do we get that kind of luxury, but something like it (although probably to a lesser degree) is available to you now. Wouldn’t you like to take advantage of it?

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) This isn’t a fairy tale. Anyway, I’m guessing most princes(ses) would rather not marry the royal bores they’re betrothed to. Since you don’t have a king and queen arranging your marriage, I’d suggest you stop holding out for the imaginary prince(ss) you’ve been waiting for. S/he’s never coming. That doesn’t mean you have to settle for the next ogre you meet, but...maybe the one after that? At least be open to the possibility, and perceptive enough to see the real beauty (and long-term compatibility) that may not be apparent at first (or even second) glance.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) The first thing you do when someone is injured is basic emergency stuff: stop the bleeding, immobilize the injury, and so on. Later, though, you make sure it’s properly taken care of; you stitch up wounds and set limbs. It’d be unthinkable to neglect that stuff. Why, then, have you aborted this process concerning your emotions? You applied pressure and kept your broken heart from being life-threatening, but you didn’t do much of anything to really fix it up afterwards. It’s basically being held together by a rubber band and a Band-Aid, and not fit for anything more challenging than a slow walk around the mall, certainly not the rollercoaster ride of a love affair. This week, take the first steps to really patching up that beat up thing, so that maybe soon you’ll be able to actually use it for something truly challenging and fun.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) Sometimes there’s no real point in trying to postpone the inevitable. Might as well get it over with, right? In this case, however, you may have good reason to try some delaying tactics. Push this thing off long enough and you might discover it’s no longer as inevitable as you thought it was, or as awful. I don’t think it’s a good habit to get into, but in this particular case, see what you can do to defer the natural consequences of recent events. Things change. If you’re lucky—and good enough at putting them off—you may never have to deal with them at all.

MARCH 05, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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