11.48 Remembering The Children, May 22, 2008, Volume 11, Issue 48, MauiTime

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CONTENTS

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 48

16

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION The last time you took a trip, what city did you visit? Editor: Anthony Pignataro Los Angeles Associate Editor: Starr Begley Honolulu Calendar Editor: Jessica Armstrong Seattle Contributors: Kate Bradshaw, Caeriel Crestin, Lloyd Dangle, Rob Parsons, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey Illustration: Guy Junker, Ron Pitts, Glenn Watson Photography: Sean Michael Hower, Hrad Kuzyk, Wendy Ortiz, Heidi Whipple Art Director: Travis Keenan Tiffin London Graphic Designer: Gwen Arkin, Ocean Lehua Zbiciak Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers Kapa’a General Manager: Jennifer Russo San Francisco Administrative Executive: Judy Toba Honolulu Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown Anaheim Web Design: Linear Publishing www.linearpublishing.com Publisher: Tommy Russo San Francisco

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4 MAUI COUNTY

22 FILM

There’s a pack of downhill bike-related Letters. Kate Bradshaw tries to get to the bottom of the new Molokai Princess commuter fare hike. Then Rob Report shines a light on HECO’s proposed surcharge. LC Watch is saved by really fast note-taking. It’s bad boyfriend-time in Eh Brah! Coconut Wireless is all about doomed Republicans and South Korean massacres. News of the Weird has everything you ever wanted to know about baby wipe candy. And Tesoro looks at big money PR relief in Maui 10.

It’s shocking, we know, but this week Cole Smithey plants a big fat wet one on the 65-year-old cheek of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Maui Time Weekly 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon

24 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Starr Begley visits her alma mater St. Anthony and finds a lot of drama, but in a good way. And in Mind Candy Begley reviews a few summer tunes.

13 FEATURE STORY In honor of Memorial Day, Anthony Pignataro visits the Maui Veterans Cemetery in Makawao and comes up with a few things to think about when you’re firing up the grill.

MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2007 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly.

23 Movie Listings

37 BACK PAGES Sign Language says Leos need to stop getting swept up in the romance of the situation. Restless Native boosts Wild 105.5, but in a good way.

16 ONO KINE GRINDS Starr Begley finds the king of all plate lunches at Kahuna Kabobs in Lahaina. And in Take Five, Jessica Armstrong talks salads.

19 DA KINE CALENDAR

CLASSIFIEDS 33 Personals

Starr Begley goes gaga for Mademoiselle Kiki then swoons over a bunch of Celts and something involving Ram Dass. Then Jessica Armstrong talks up Vince Esquire playing at Charley’s in Paia and and a bunch of really good slackers.

34 Classified Listings 39 Mind, Body & Spirit

28 Grid & Calendar

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LETTERSTOTHEEDITOR LETTER RIDE (Editor’s note: the following four letters are in response to our May 15, 2008 cover story “Uneasy Rider: When will people get to bike down the volcano?”) I am wondering who has bent [reporter] Kate Bradshaw’s ear enough to lead her story astray. Check your statistics Kate, before you make the downhill bike experience sound like a ride to hell. Every vacation my family takes to Maui, we do the guided downhill bike tour and every year it is a major highlight. Want to take a picture of my pretty knees? -Jennifer Scott, via Mauitime.com

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Just did the ride down in April 2008 and it was a highlight of the trip along with the helicopter tour of Maui. I did the ride with the group that lets one ride at their own pace. I stopped at the guy’s house that drives the underwater sub and he let us sample his fruit. He did say we were doing the most dangerous activity on Maui. We plan on biking up the next trip. I am 55 years old and my significant other is 42. Hope this all continues as with any sport, diving, swimming or walking, one does this at his own risk. Some people don’t have balance and don’t belong on any bike but this is not for the state to decide. Those who climb Mt. Everest pay big bucks too and may not belong there but the mountain doesn’t care. Let’s try to educate people so we may all get along without making another stupid law. -Dan Klasna, via Mauitime.com Good stuff. I felt like I understood the issue better. I thought it [the story] was well researched and just as balanced. It [biking down the volcano] is fun. And it is dangerous. People have died. A community is truly divided between providing a valuable tourist activity and the public safety concerns and just plain hassles of locals and visitors alike. To argue all is well on either side is just BS. But compromise is in the air. People are working on this. Nice job, Kate. My only problem was trying to

figure out why you can’t keep your coffee hot on a trip to the crater. They got these travel mug thingys that work really well. -CH, via Mauitime.com With somewhere near 20 deaths and by the bike industry’s own statements, “an accident every other day,” it is past time they were regulated, and their customers were truly told of the risks they are taking. I urge you to log on to bikemauisafety, as well as You Tube (Downhill bike tour hell and Haleakala Hazards) See for your self. Good job, Kate. -Jimmy Muschietti, via Mauitime.com

MMM… CLUMPING BAMBOO Mahalo Sumner Erdman for being who you are and doing what you do (“Ulupalakua: Ranching in the 21st century,” May 15, 2008). Love your creative eco-friendly stewardship of land. Ever thought of growing clumping bamboo timber for profit as well? -Tamara Paltin, via Mauitime.com

Maui Time welcomes letters com-

menting on our coverage, but only if they’re complimentary. If you still wish to complain about something, please have the decency to use plenty of bad punctuation and grammar—that makes it easier for us to make fun of you when we respond. We also reserve the right to edit your letters. Send your letters to the editor via e-mail (letters@mauitime.com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793-1742) or fax (808-244-0446). All correspondence must include your full name, hometown and phone number.

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STARR BEGLEY: “just finished giving myself a haircut with dull scissors. probably shouldn’t have done that. looks like Chewbabca died in my bathroom.” [9:33 p.m., May 15, 2008] Text “follow restless_native” to 40404 to get regular Twitter messages like this one from Associate Editor Starr Begley sent directly to your cell phone.


MAUICOUNTY

BY KATE BRADSHAW KATE@MAUITIME.COM

Commuter Troubles

Photo: Heidi Whipple

‘Obscene’ fuel costs lead to Molokai Princess fare hike Commuters who rely on the 100foot Molokai Princess to get them to and from work every day recently got a surprise from David Jung, president of Sea Link of Hawaii, which runs the Molokai Princess. “Regrettably, Sea Link of Hawaii, Inc. has been forced to increase round trip commuter ferry rates from $15 to $25 mainly due to continual rising fuel prices and a down turn of our economy,” Jung wrote in a letter dated May 7, 2008. According to the letter, the fare hike goes into effect on June 1. Sea Link is also applying with the state Public Utilities Commission for permission to apply a fuel surcharge to non-commuter fares. “That’s understandable that they have to raise the fares,” said Louise Linker, who makes the trip five days a week to get to the Department of Health office on Maui where she works. “But we want to get some kind of subsidy” from the county or state, she added. “Fifteen bucks is a good deal; $25 is pushing it,” said another commuter who wished to remain anonymous. “We need help here. Everybody [on Molokai] needs a job.” Price is apparently not the only issue, according to these commuters. The new requirement that commuters make the trip four times a week or more in order to qualify for rates may make the commute infeasible for some. In an interview, Jung said it’s been

a decade since the Molokai Princess has seen a hike in commuter rates. In that time, he said, the price of a gallon of gas went from a dollar to $4.25. “It’s pretty obscene,” Jung said. “The boat burns over $1,000 [in fuel] every round trip.” Commuters currently pay $7.50 on each round trip fare while their employers pay the other half. With the impending rate hike, they’ll each have to fork over $12.50 per round trip. The commuter program began in late 1987 under Governor John Waihe‘e. It gave residents of Molokai, whose unemployment rate was a painful 10.2 percent in December 1989, a cheap way to commute to West Maui, where job opportunities were more abundant. Some argue that many of these people may have otherwise relied on unemployment or welfare. In fact, a 1988 state Department of Business and Economic Development memo notes that savings on welfare and other programs offset the state’s $1,600 a day ferry subsidy so well that “a case might even be made that the program not only costs the state nothing, but that it actually saves money for the state.” Currently, Jung said, the Molokai Princess crosses the Pailolo Channel—the choppy channel between Maui and Molokai—with a total of 45 commuters who make the trip at least four times a week. Regardless of the fare hike, Jung said he expects commuter volume to increase in the wake of Molokai Ranch shutting down.

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To be eligible for commuter-rates, riders must travel at least four times a week. Normally, the boat crosses the Pailolo Channel four times daily, seven days a week: Kaunakakai to Lahaina twice daily at 5:30 a.m. and 4:00 p.m., and the reverse at 7:15 a.m. and 6:00 p.m. But to cut back on fuel costs, starting May 25 the Molokai Princess will end its Sunday morning round trip, and will only do afternoon/evening runs on Sundays. State money for the commuter program ended in 1996, and Jung believes current conditions mean it’s time to start up again. “It may become necessary for the state to ante up and help us out,” Jung said. MTW

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MAY 22, 2008

5


ROBREPORT

BY ROB PARSONS ROBPARSONS@EARTHLINK.NET

How PC is the PUC? A look at how the Public Utility Commission keeps us in the dark

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MAY 22, 2008

17 Minutes! The hearing room for the May 14, 2008 Maui County Liquor Commission meeting was unusually sparse. The agenda listed just two preliminary hearings, two public hearings and two “other licensing matters,” but it was even emptier than that.

It’s a farce if we testify only based on information from an announcement in the newspaper. -Kula resident Dick Mayer n a time when there is great emphasis on renewable energy to help our state loosen the shackles of its dependency on imported fuels, a newcomer might assume Hawai‘i’s “Sunshine Law” to be a mandate for solar panels. But Hawai‘i’s open meeting disclosure legislation, in effect since 1975, really isn’t about renewable energy... or is it? A meeting with the State Public Utility Commission (PUC) held last week at Maui Waena Intermediate School in Kahului illustrated the extent to which the public is being kept in the dark by the body that approves all new renewable energy projects proposed in Hawai‘i. In order for island ratepayers to address their rising electric bills—the most costly in the U.S.—it may be necessary to closely examine the system that oversees Hawai‘i’s public utility and energy choices. The PUC mainly conducts its business on Oahu, so it was a rare occasion when two Maui applications brought the commission and staff over here for an evening public hearing on May 15. One agenda item was a request by Wailuku Water Company, LLC (WWC) and Wailuku Water Distribution Company, LLC (WWDC) to obtain a license as a public utility and to set rates for distributing and selling waters from four main valleys, Na Wai Eha, of the West Maui Mountains. The other was a request by the Hawai‘i Electric Company (HECO), including Maui Electric Company (MECO), to charge ratepayers an extra $1.80 a month to support ventures into renewable energy projects and infrastructure. While far more people filled the crowded Maui Waena cafeteria to discuss the water issue, the renewable energy surcharge item came up first. “I support the concept of such a surcharge, but I’m concerned about some of the choices our utility is making in the renewable energy arena,” Lance Holter of Paia said. Then he detailed the impacts of imported palm oil for biodiesel, ruining millions of acres of rainforest eco-systems in South East Asia and

LC Watch Recently resigned Commissioner James Viela wasn’t there, of course, but neither were commissioners Blackie Gadarian or Ron McOmber. That meant the commission barely had a quorum. Liquor Control Director Frank Silva was also absent, so Deputy Director Wayne Pagan sat in his place.

There may be more than VOG obscuring Hawai`i's Sunshine

South America. “I don’t want to be any part of this destruction, or have my surcharge support this kind of development,” he said. Long-time Maui Community College professor and community activist Dick Mayer of Kula addressed the two-ofthree commissioners. He reminded them of a November 2004 PUC meeting. “Everyone in attendance at that time asked for an EIS [Environmental Impact Statement] before approvals for Hawai‘i Superferry,” he said. “But you chose to pass the buck and let someone else make that call.” Mayer noted that he had visited the PUC office on Maui, but there was no information available on the file for the renewable energy surcharge. “There was a big fat book on the water application,” Mayer told me later. “I called Honolulu and asked them why it wasn’t posted on the web. They said it’s in the process of being reconstructed, but that’s what they said six months ago.” Former Mayor Alan Arakawa also expressed concern that the public had no opportunity to review the surcharge proposal before the meeting, except for a brief Powerpoint presentation provided by Ed Reinhardt, MECO’s president. “We don’t know how we would monitor

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

the cost efficiency of the chosen technologies for renewables,” Arakawa said. “Why is there no rate reduction from the renewables we use now? We haven’t had an adequate chance to review this proposal, and I can tell you that quite often the devil is in the details.”

see PUC, page 12

Gadarian was always good for a quote or two, but the absence of McOmber was different. He never missed a chance to needle license applicants and always asked at least one question (usually, some variation of “Do you anticipate any construction delays?”). I wondered how his not being here would affect the meeting. Chairman Robert Tanaka started the meeting at 9 a.m. At no time during the hearing did any commissioner ask any question of any of the six licensees or prospective licensees who came before them. The commissioners also never discussed any of the pending applications. Nor was there any public testimony on any agenda item, all of which were approved. Pagan himself didn’t speak until the end, when he told the commissioners about an upcoming liquor rules workshop. Tanaka then adjourned the meeting. I looked up at the clock. It was now 9:17 a.m. “Short meeting,” one commissioner noted approvingly. “We need to tell Ron about this,” another commissioner joked.

-Anthony Pignataro


I just wanted to thank you for eliminating any doubt I had about my decision to dump your ass. Even though I told you not to contact me, you continued to call and text me, saying how much you love me and that I’m the most amazing and attractive person you ever met. Of course, you also said that as amazing as I am, the problem started when I wasn’t able to give up “ownership of your body” and let you mess around with other girls. You said in this 27th year of your life, you needed to be with someone who will let you be “sexually free” with whomever you desire but still come back to OUR bed when you feel your sexual hunger has been satiated for the evening. But then you added that I probably shouldn’t worry about any of that, considering you also said that you most likely wouldn’t want to be sexual with anyone else because knowing you can get any girl at any time “doesn’t make it as appealing.” Well I wanted your honesty and thank God I got it so I didn’t do anything stupid like ever thinking you were comparable to a normal human being. Then I realized how much time I wasted with a complete tool. To ladies everywhere: think twice about trusting the tall, dark and LAME.

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COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

WEDNESDAY, May 14 Hawai‘i needs to attract global investment dollars. So said John Rutledge, “who has advised two presidents on tax and economic policy,” at a recent economic conference, according to today’s Honolulu Advertiser. Maybe this state really is filled with out-of-touch hicks, but blanket statements like that strike me as a tad obvious. Hawai‘i is part of the U.S., which is part of the global marketplace, where money, labor and products flow like water over a fall. What isn’t obvious from the story is that, truism or not, Rutledge probably isn’t a guy we should be taking uncritically. The Advertiser describes Rutledge as simply a guy “who advised President [Ronald] Reagan on a plan that brought the country out of a recession and more recently was an adviser to the [George W.] Bush White House on tax policy.” Neither former job is all that impressive. Yes, recession did plague the early years of the Reagan Administration, and yes, economic growth marked the closing years. But in between Reagan pushed two tracks—tax cuts for the wealthy and unchecked defense spending—that changed our national debt from a fairly minor budgetary issue into a cancer that is today heavily constraining government spending. As far as Bush’s “tax policy” is concerned, that was simply tax cuts, for any and all economic problems. Economy’s growing well? Cut taxes. Economy is falling into recession? Cut taxes. It’s exactly the kind of mindless dogma that appeals to sim-

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO ANTHONY@MAUITIME.COM

pleton like George W. Bush. The end result—to no one’s surprise—has been an even larger national debt than that given us by Old Man Reagan. Is Rutledge seriously the best we can do for economic advice?

THURSDAY, May 15 And now some bad news for Norwegian Cruise Lines (NCL). Today the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) announced that NCL America will settled a civil rights lawsuit by paying $485,000 to seven former Pride of Aloha workers. Back in June 2004, NCL fired six of the seven workers—all of them Middle Eastern—after one asked another crewmember the location of the ship’s engine room, bridge and security office while the boat was docked on Maui. That crewmember apparently freaked out and contacted ship’s security, which in turn called NCL, which in turn contacted the local Joint Terrorism Task Force, which sent agents aboard and questioned the Middle Eastern worker and his buddies. After a brief investigation, the anti-terrorist guys concluded there was no threat to anyone and told NCL that the guys were harmless. NCL’s reaction was a little different—they fired the six workers (a seventh quit soon after), which prompted the lawsuit. Of course, NCL continues to deny that it did anything wrong, and why shouldn’t it? That fine breaks down to a little more than $62,000 per worker, and as a whole constitutes a mere 0.02 percent of the $2.2 billion in revenue NCL made during 2007. It’s probably company officials actually feel they did nothing wrong, and with a punishment like that, it would be surprising if they thought otherwise.

FRIDAY, May 16 Oh, how I love corporate euphemisms. Reading over this morning’s Pacific Business News stories on the big first quarter losses at the Hawai`i Medical Service Association (HMSA) and the moderate profit at Kaiser Permanente Hawai`i, it’s hard to imagine doctors in this great nation of ours used to make house calls. “The state’s largest health insurer said it fell short of its breakeven point by 2.7 percent of dues revenue in the first quarter of this year, which continues to be outpaced by rising healthcare costs,” PBN reported on HMSA’s $10 million loss. Then 18 minutes later, PBN quoted Kaiser regional Chief Financial Officer David Delaney as saying his company’s profit “shows that we are working hard to continue controlling our costs.” Have we become so crass as a society that we must now refer to “treating people” as “health-care costs?” Perhaps if we were more honest about this—saying things like “It’s getting more

Why can’t more Republicans be like Lingle?

expensive to provide people proper medical care”—then we might be less willing to accept these types of corporate explanations at face value.

SATURDAY, May 17 I can hope, can’t I?

SUNDAY, May 18 I know.

MONDAY, May 19 Both the Honolulu Star-Bulletin and the Honolulu Advertiser tell us this morning that the Grand Old Party (GOP) is in trouble. Governor Linda Lingle—the only Republican in the entire state with any tangible power—wants more candidates for the state Legislature. Really? There are just 11 Republicans in the state House and Senate combined—a mere 14.5 percent. The Star-Bulletin holds up 2001 (when the GOP controlled 22 legislative seats) as some kind of high-water mark, but even that pencils out to just 29 percent. Republicans have never been very popular in Hawai‘i, and these days are the darkest yet. President Bush has broken the back of the GOP on two anvils named Iraq and Katrina—the former scorching our military and incinerating our moral authority abroad; the latter, referring to Bush’s tardy and feckless response to deadly Lousiana and Mississippi hurricanes, exemplifies Republicans’ inability to govern domestically. For all the GOP’s talk of being the “party of ideas,” they provided precious few when given the chance to govern. That a complete inability to govern foreign and domestically—

as well as being perceived as one of the most bitterly partisan administrations since Tricky Dick Nixon—is hurting Republicans nationwide at the polls is not surprising. That this apparent collapse comes just four years after the drubbing Bush gave the Democrats in 2004 is, though, and suggests that Democrats are gaining in power not because of any superior organization or governing skills, but simply because they’re not Republicans.

TUESDAY, May 20 With Memorial Day less than a week away, it’s always nice to read things like yesterday’s outstanding Associated Press story—which ran on the front page of The Maui News—on the mass executions ordered by the South Korean government during the awful summer of 1950. It’s always heart-warming to learn that many thousands of American soldiers fought and died to protect a government that, while the North Korean army was sweeping down the peninsula, was gunning down as many as 100,000 “leftists and hapless peasants” with little or no judicial cause. Oh, and U.S. Army officers apparently stood around and watched, too, during many of the killings, but did not intervene. Kinda makes you wonder what our buddies in the current Baghdad regime are up to these days, doesn’t it? Get snarky news and commentary from Anthony Pignataro sent directly to you cell phone. Just text “follow apignataro” to 40404 and we’ll do the rest.

MTW

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 22, 2008

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A highlight of this year’s Easter promotion by the Jelly Belly company (as additions to its 50 standard flavors) was its surprise BeanBoozled boxes, with odd tastes and non-standard colors. Although garlic beans, buttered-toast beans and cheese pizza beans are no longer available, connoisseurs can sample jelly beans made to taste like pencil shavings, ear wax, moldy cheese and vomit. A Jelly Belly spokeswoman told Newhouse News Service in March, “There are 20 flavors in each little box ... so you don’t know what flavor you are tasting... coconut or baby wipe.”

CHARITABLE IMPLANTS! “Obviously, this is not as important as helping starving kids in Africa, but it’s the same basis,” Karla Rae Morris told Canada’s Sun newspapers in February. “They want to help us out,” she said, referring to her two benefactors who donated over $1,000 (Cdn) each so she could get breast implants, based on arrangements commenced by the Web site MyFreeImplants.com,

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which facilitates e-mail exchanges and chats for prospective contributors and collects the money until the goal is reached. “It’s like donating to any charity,” said Morris. “You feel like you’re doing good.”

REMOVABLE NOSE HAIR! Among the notable offerings at the International Exhibition of Inventions in Geneva, Switzerland, in April were beerflavored jelly (non-alcoholic) to spread on biscuits and artificial, removable nose hair (swabs of pipe cleaner for the nostrils to block pollen and dust). “Most people do not have enough nose hair,” inventor Gensheng Sun told The Associated Press. Italian engineer Enrico Berruti said it was his personal laziness that led him to develop a bed that makes itself, with automatic sheet-shaking and straightening. Diane Cheong Lee Mei of China swore that her novel computer software employed algorithms sophisticated enough to enable the user to detect the gender of any e-mail writer.

FREESTYLE DOG DANCING! “Freestyle” dog dancing continues to thrive, at least in British Columbia, where the first organization sprang up in 1999, amassing an 8,000-person mailing list, as News of the Weird reported. A Globe and Mail dispatch in April noted that Gail Walsh’s school for dog dancing, Paws2Dance, teaches moves like dog “weaves” around its human partner’s legs and “backups,” in which the dog sets its own paces apart from its partner. Holding the dog’s paws and waltzing, as in at-home dog-dancing, is apparently tacky and non-artistic and thus never allowed.

SINGING RECTAL THERMOMETERS! From Nickelodeon merchandising has come a Spongebob Squarepants Musical Rectal Thermometer. It plays the Spongebob theme to, the designer apparently imagines, make the temperaturetaking process less unpleasant. MTW

OVERHEARD... “What’s up with a 14-year-old boy who doesn’t know who Mike Tyson is?! I asked a seven-year-old girl who Mike Tyson was, and she knew! But he didn’t! How can he not know?!” -Guy talking at the South Shore Tiki Lounge, May 16

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MAY 22, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY


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BIG OIL BOOST! Despite Tesoro’s falling profits and steadily declining stock price, there’s hope for the oil company that runs the largest gasoline refinery in Hawai`i. According to a May 9 Washington Post story, Big Oil is starting up “a multiyear, multimedia, multimillion-dollar campaign” to convince people “that rising energy prices are not the producers’ fault.” The American Petroleum Institute wouldn’t say how much they’re spending on advertising, except that it would be “less than $100 million a year.” Guess they don’t want to go overboard, even though times are so tough that people are actually using the term “Big Oil” as if it were “a one-word epithet, said former Oklahoma senator Don Nickles, an energy lobbyist.” See, there’s nothing scary about Big Oil! They even employ unemployed former U.S. Senators! What’s bad about that?

WAILUKU WATER EVERYWHERE The May 11 Maui News reported that Wailuku Water Company wants to become a public utility. Who among us has enough to power to just ask to become a public utility? Well, the County of Maui opposes the request, and local residents don’t seem too hot on the company either. According to Angie Hoffman, a Paia resident who attended the state Public Utility Commission’s May 14 hearing on granting Wailuku Water permits, locals aren’t big fans of the company. “About 45 people testified with only one in favor,” Hoffman emailed me. “Many people wondered why Hawaiian families living in the area, who are supposed to be ‘Kuleana users’ and have grown Kalo in this valley for centuries, should have to pay Wailuku Water a single cent for this water that is rightfully theirs. Others wondered why Wailuku Water needs this water, since they are not growing sugar anymore.” Anyway, normally I’d say the whole thing is a nonstarter, but remember that Wailuku Water Co. president Avery Chumbley is a former state senator. They could easily get their way. MTW

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 22, 2008

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ROBREPORT PUC: continued from page 6 uring Reinhardt’s introductory comments, Kahu Charles K. Maxwell Sr. (“Uncle Charlie”) stood and asked a point of information. Why should the utility speak first, he asked, and should they also be limited to three minutes? Commissioner Les Kondo said Reinhardt had that privilege because he represented the applicant. Arakawa then asked that audience members be allowed to question Reinhardt, for clarification and to gain better understanding. Kondo did not allow that, though Reinhardt’s closing comment was, “I’ll be outside for those with questions.” When it was my own turn to speak, I opened by praising Commissioner Kondo. One of my best experiences during my four years as the Maui County Environmental Coordinator was dealing with the agency Kondo formerly headed, the Office of Information Practices (OIP), I said. Early in 2005, I drafted a letter for Mayor Arakawa’s signature, requesting that the OIP study the refusal by the state Department of Transportation (DOT) to release a requested copy of the Kahului Harbor Facility Layout Study for Hawai‘i Superferry. Under Kondo’s guidance, the study was transmitted to Arakawa within 10 days, and the OIP admonished the DOT for withholding it in the first place. But then I expressed frustration that the application for the renewable energy surcharge was nowhere to be found on the PUC’s website, and that all we knew about the proposal came from a newspaper account from HECO’s spokesperson—essentially, a press release. “Please use your influence,” I implored, “to provide disclosure to the public about how the PUC provides access to information.” Without necessary information, many questions simply could not be answered. How much money would HECO collect for renewable energy projects? Ten million dollars? A hundred million? More? Would MECO ratepayers subsidize projects on other islands? Could such a fund also support unpopular energy choices, such as HECO’s plans to import huge quantities of palm oil for processing in proposed mega-refineries on Maui and Oahu? “Investors should be making investments, not ratepayers,” Mayer said. “We should match our resources with the use of the electricity. For instance, we could match the large demand for air-conditioning in

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our hotels with solar photo-voltaic on their roofs. “Don’t approve this request until you have completed the Wheeling docket,” Mayer added, referring to a pending provision for independent power producers to use the grid infrastructure. “Don’t keep all the power with one company.” he PUC consists of just three commissioners, appointed by the governor and approved by the Legislature. Chairman Carlito Caliboso was absent at last week’s meeting. John Cole, the third member, previously worked in the Division of Consumer Advocacy (DCA), which provides analysis of all matters before the PUC. DCA Executive Director Catherine Awakuni vowed that her office would take an independent look at the request.

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Commissioner Kondo repeatedly attempted to limit the range of discussion on both agenda items. He encouraged people to submit written comments to the PUC, though others claimed there was more value in the open discourse of public meetings. Kondo said that it typically takes six months or longer for the PUC to arrive at a decision, as long as no one files a petition to intervene in the process. One of the few familiar with intervening in PUC dockets is Henry Curtis, Executive Director of Life of the Land. Curtis has filed to intervene in the Wheeling docket, the Biofuel Supply Contract docket and many other proceedings. “HECO [the applicant] has refused to put forth a case and only wants to rebut Life of the Land’s case,” Curtis said about the Biofuel docket. “Life of the Land is

being denied access to all of the information. In each of the 15 dockets we have been in, HECO has invented new procedural ways to try to block us.” Curtis told me that during a recent visit to the PUC office in Honolulu, he asked to see the latest posting of dockets. It was 40 days old. “That is a very serious matter, since the public only has 20 days to legally intervene from the posting date,” he said. Maybe it’s time for the PUC to step out from behind the curtain of secrecy that shrouds the way it reviews energy projects and policies. The abundant resource of sunshine may not only power Hawai‘i’s energy future, but also should illuminate the ways island residents have a real voice in choices being made and how projects are chosen. MTW

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aiku resident Bill Stroud thinks of his friend “Ranger” this time of year.

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“I might have a couple memories, but I’ve balanced things,” Stroud, a member of Vietnam Vets of Maui County and a former mayoral candidate, told me. “I do see my friend, my best pal’s face, though. He was shot in a bar room fight. Stupid stuff. He was shot in the chest, and the guy then pointed the smoking gun at me. ‘Who’s next?’ he asked. Not me, and I ran to get the medic. We took him to the hospital. They cut a hole in his chest and had to massage his heart, but he died. I was a helicopter door-gunner during the war, and this was the closest thing to hand-to-hand combat I saw.” Stroud was 20 when he saw his friend die. Children, to an extent most people never think about, fight our wars. And they always have—Kurt Vonnegut wasn’t just being satirical when he subtitled his World War II novel Slaughterhouse-Five “The Children’s Crusade: A DutyDance with Death.”

(Right) Medal of Honor (Below) Senator Daniel K. Inouye of Hawaii as a combat infantryman in Europe during World War II. Photo courtesy Senator Daniel K. Inouye. (Bottom) Maui gravestone

Memorial Day Observance Maui Veterans Cemetery, Makawao. 10 a.m. Free.

I’m thinking about this as I scan three terse Department of Defense press releases on the desk in front of me. They’re just ordinary DOD releases announcing the recent deaths of three ordinary soldiers. One says 25th Infantry Division Sergeant John K. Daggett, 21, of Phoenix “died May 15 in Halifax, Canada, of wounds suffered May 1 in Baghdad, Iraq when a rocket-propelled grenade struck his vehicle.” Another says that 24-year-old U.S. Army Corporal Jessica A. Ellis of Bend, Oregon “died May 11 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when her vehicle encountered an improvised explosive device.” The last reports that U.S. Army Specialist Mary J. Jaenichen, 20, of Temecula, California “died May 9 in Iskandariyah, Iraq, of a non-combat related injury” and that “the incident is under investigation.” “You’ll pretend you were men instead of babies,” Mary O’Hare sneered at the narrator in Slaughterhouse-Five’s opening pages,” and you’ll be played in the movies by Frank Sinatra and John Wayne or some of those other glamorous, war-loving, dirty old men. And war will look just wonderful, so we’ll have a lot more of them. And they’ll be fought by the babies like the babies upstairs.” It’s easy to forget that U.S. Senator Daniel Inouye (D, Hawai‘i) was just a 20-year-old second lieutenant when he lost the use of his right arm in a horrific battle that later earned him the Medal of Honor. World War II was both relatively quick and a long time ago. But as the war in Iraq grinds on through its sixth year of stalemate, it’s impossible not to notice. Look again at Specialist Jaenichen’s death notice: she was just 15 when President George W. Bush first ordered the invasion and occupation of Iraq. “Dick Cheney and I have a simple message today for men and women in uniform, their parents, their loved ones, their supporters,” Bush told a crowd of veterans in Wisconsin during the 2000 presidential campaign. “Help is on the way.” Since then, 4,582 American soldiers have died and another 30,000 have been wounded in Afghanistan and Iraq. They’ve been dying since the early years of this decade and will continue to die long after Bush finally leaves the White House in 2009.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 22, 2008

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Photo: Hrad Kuzyk ©2004

Photo: Hrad Kuzyk ©2004

ar is waste. All wars everywhere and for all time have swallowed men and materiel whole, with little regard for cost. My father, born a few months after Hitler smashed Poland, would tell me of seeing newsreel footage shot just after the war of perfectly good jeeps and trucks pushed off the decks of aircraft carriers—which themselves were bound for mothball fleets and eventual conversion into pots and pans—because it was cheaper to just dump them in the middle of the ocean rather than haul them all the way back to the states. That’s relatively benign. On April 28 of this year, U.S. Senator Bryon L. Dorgan’s Democratic Policy Committee held a hearing on far more nefarious “contracting abuses in Iraq.” The hearing, which received little mention in the press, contained numerous examples of how private contractors like Kellogg Brown & Root (KBR)—beneficiary of $27 billion worth of contracts with the U.S. Army—have been alleging screwing over taxpayer and soldier alike. “I observed burn pits throughout my time in Iraq, which resulted in millions of U.S. taxpayer dollars being wasted,” former KBR ice plant operator Frank Cassaday testified according to the committee website. “I saw large, ten foot deep trenches dug in the sand where computers, electronic equipment, and military items that could not be burned were buried… It appeared to be routine practice at KBR for employees to pad their hours and for KBR management to staff unnecessary workers on a project… At Camp Fallujah, I observed the KBR ice plant supervisor and the KBR foreman stealing refrigerators from the military.” Cassaday testified that KRB “charged the government $75 just to wash a bag of laundry,” even though the laundry machines were in such poor shape clothes were often returned to the base’s marines still wet.

Photo: Cpl. Samuel D. Corum, U.S. Marine Corps

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(Left) U.S. Marine watches over the civilian firefighters at the burn pit as smoke and flames rise into the night sky behind him in Camp Fallujah, Iraq, ~ May 25, 2007 (Center) KBR burn pit, Iraq (Right) Forward Operating Base Boneyard, Iraq (Bottom Spread) Maui Veteran’s Cemetery, Makawao

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Linda Warren, a former laundry foreman for KBR, testified that her colleagues routinely stole from soldiers. “KBR employees would break into a ‘connex’ box, which is a trailer full of supplies, and steal items, including lumber, air conditioners and tools meant for the troops,” she testified. “So instead of troops using these items, KBR employees took them for their own use. Sometimes the KBR employees would trade these items with Iraqis.” KBR officials deny all of the above charges. But the abuses Cassaday and Warren and others have alleged are easy to understand. The Bush Administration has steadfastly refused to provide any oversight of the companies operating in Iraq. In fact, they’ve gone out of their way to protect and even indemnify them from possible prosecution. Private military contractors are not children. Many (including Cassaday and Warren) are Republican Party hacks or ex-servicemen and women who’ve already seen combat. In any case, they make far more money and do far easier jobs than anyone wearing a uniform. And in many ways, they’re making the whole concept of Memorial Day obsolete. Increasingly, corporations like KBR and Halliburton are taking over our wars. In fact, there are at least as many private contractors in Iraq today than American soldiers. These companies do everything from fixing ice machines to guarding VIPs. Some, like the notorious Blackwater Worldwide, have even sent men into combat. Of course, when contractors die—even in the act of performing heroic acts—we rarely hear about it. The biggest exception was the March 31, 2004 incident in which four Blackwater guards were brutally killed in Fallujah—an incident that so enraged President Bush he ordered the marines flatten the city, which they did.


nlike previous presidents, George W. Bush has proven extremely paranoid concerning our war dead, even taking the extraordinary step of banning civilian photographers from Dover Air Force Base when cargo planes carrying the bodies of dead soldiers arrive. To date, he has also not attended a single soldier’s funeral. Our war dead, though, are all around us. Every year, a big group of state officials, kupuna, military service representatives, scouts and residents gather at the Maui Veterans Cemetery in Makawao for a Memorial Day commemoration. They also have lots of coffee, tea and donuts, but really, everyone’s there to remember our honored dead. Walking through the cemetery one recent afternoon, I was struck by its size. There are hundreds of graves, the earliest dating to the 1950’s. Most of the World War II vet’s graves carry designations for either the 442nd Regimental Combat Team or the 100th

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Battalion—famed combat units made up of JapaneseAmericans that saw very heavy fighting in Europe. The stones commemorate the old and young, but few in between. Florus H. Cassell, listed as a private in the 2nd Nebraska Infantry in the Spanish-American War, died at 73. William K. Wilcox managed to make it to First Sergeant in the U.S. Army without apparently ever seeing combat, eventually dying in 1980 at the ripe old age of 93. Then there’s Hiroshi Nagamine, a 25th Infantry Division sergeant who died in the Korean War at the age of 20. Staff Sergeant Katshiro Kanemitsu of the 442nd died in World War II one day shy of his 21st birthday. There were various objects left by the grave markers. I saw small flags, flowers, golf balls, leis, shell necklaces, a broken coat hanger, cans of Coke, Pepsi, Coors Light and Budweiser, bottles of water, an unopened bottle of Courvoisier, mangoes and a small stone bearing the following inscription: “No farewell words were spoken, no time to say good-bye, you were gone before we knew it, and only God knows why.” MTW

Photos this page: National Archives

(Top Left) Americans of Japanese descent, Infantrymen of the 442nd Regiment, run for cover as a German artillery shell is about to land outside the building." ~ Levine, Italy. April 4, 1945. (Top Right) Standing in the grassy sod bordering row upon row of white crosses in an American cemetery, two dungaree-clad Coast Guardsmen pay silent homage to the memory of a fellow Coast Guardsman who lost his life in action in the Ryukyu Islands." ~ 1945 (Bottom) Two enlisted men of the ill-fated U.S. Navy aircraft carrier LISCOME BAY, torpedoed by a Japanese submarine in the Gilbert Islands, are buried at sea from the deck of a Coast Guardmanned assault transport." ~ November 1943.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 22, 2008

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ONO KINEGRINDS

The Big Chief Kahuna Kabobs in Lahaina serves up local food with a Mediterranean flair When on the Westside, I’m partial to eating gyros at the little Greek place in the Lahaina Cannery Mall. Humor me; it’s one of the only places to get them on the island. That’s why, when a friend recommended we go to Kahuna Kabobs on Front Street after a long morning of wakeboarding, I nearly threw a fit. I’ll clear the air and admit right now that I’ve never been a big kabob fan. They look great, but pulling charbroiled chunks of meat off of a skewer is just not my thing. But because I was trying to be a good friend, am a total pushover and owe my pal big time, I went along with it.

Kahuna Kabobs

Photos: Travis Keenan Tiffin

Lahaina Marketplace, 6619999. Open Sun-Thurs, 9 a.m.-9:30 p.m.; Fri & Sat, 9 a.m.-10 p.m. $

Kahuna Kabob’s menu was surprisingly diverse and everything on it looked unique and special. In fact, it was tough to choose from all that was available. The house salad looked awesome, and I’ve never gotten very excited about a salad before. We’re talking greens, carrots, tomato and mandarin oranges all tossed in Kahuna’s Lilikoi sesame ginger dressing with a side of grilled, curried pita bread. For a few dollars you can add a kabob of your choice and make it a real meal. I love falafels, so I almost went for the “Veggie Hipster” wrap which is all about handmade falafel balls and stuff like mixed greens, beans, onions, tomato and tandori yogurt folded into a grilled tortilla. The chili also looked good, especially the special chili topped with kalua pork, cheese and mango chipotle salsa. But when it came down to decision time I went with the Kalua pork plate. This was no ordinary Kalua pork. No, my friends, this plate was different. For starters, the meat tasted a little sweet and was piled on cabbage that was neither too raw nor completely wilted. I chose to have it come with the pineapple-fried rice, which was different and delectable. I went with the macaroni salad for a side, but

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MAY 22, 2008

for a small price adjustment could have gone with the grilled veggies. My husband ordered the beef kabob with a mix of white and brown rice. The meat was glazed with teriyaki sauce. By the way he wolfed it down, I’d have to report that he liked it. But my friend got the most delicious plate lunch that I’ve ever tasted, and I’ve tasted a lot. The Indian Blackened Ahi Steak plate with local Ahi, seared and blackened to perfection with “Silk Road” spices comes served over Molokai mashed potatoes topped with thick asparagus spears. The whole dish is covered in a coconut curry sauce and mango chipotle salsa and sits in a beautiful lime green wasabi yogurt sauce. The balance of the flavors was unbelievable and the wasabi sauce was flavorful but in no way overwhelmingly hot. It’s definitely a five-star plate-lunch in my book and something I will go back to Lahaina for in the near future. In fact, I’m thinking that Kahuna Kabobs is my new favorite Westside establishment. Even if they don’t serve gyros. MTW

(Top) Kahuna Kabobs Sign (Second from top) Beef Kabob (Right) Kalua Pork Plate (Bottom) Ahi Sashimi Plate

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MAY 22, 2008

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TAKEFIVE

Places offering big, scrumptious salads

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All of the lunch salads at Café O Lei are huge, but the quinoa (pronounced keenwah) salad is particularly monstrous. A large portion of the protein and fiber rich grain comes piled atop a bed of fresh baby greens and topped with chilled roasted squash, zucchini and peppers, creamy goat cheese and a thick basil vinaigrette. Basically, it’s a salad so big you won’t even miss the double bacon cheeseburger or foot-long sandwich you usually get at lunchtime. 62 N. Market St., Wailuku, 9860044. Open M-F 7:30-10:30 a.m. & 11 a.m.-3 p.m. $

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Photo: Wendy Ortiz

Serving Maui’s Only

LAHAINA COOLERS The Coolers menu has a different take on the typically healthful salad-fried cheese. It’s fried brie, to be exact, which happens to be one of my culinary weaknesses. Yes, there’s a ton of Kula greens underneath all that gooey goodness, a sweet, tangy passion fruit vinaigrette served on the side and I’m sure a bunch of other healthy veggies on top, but in the face of fried brie I pretty much forget everything else that’s going on around me. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661-7082. Open daily 8 a.m.-12 a.m. $

MAIN STREET BISTRO I may be a bit of a freak of nature here, but I’ve loved beets since I was little. When my parents would take me to a buffet I’d load up on the pickled beets and stuff myself until I couldn’t possibly even think about visiting the dessert bar. That’s probably why I love the roasted beet salad at Main Street so much. It’s got big chunks of juicy, ruby red beets on greens with candied cashews, bleu cheese and a light, refreshing Champagne pear vinaigrette. 2051 Main St., Wailuku, 2446816. Open M-F 7-10 a.m. & 11 a.m.-7 p.m. $

CILANTRO You won’t find a typical taco salad anywhere on the menu here. But you will find the Pom pecan salad that I’ve had the great pleasure of enjoying on one occasion. This salad is special because it’s topped with a jicama slaw, roasted corn, caramelized pecans and a bit of salty Cotija cheese. I get it with juicy rotisserie chicken on top. 170 Papalua St., Lahaina, 667-5444. Open M-Sa 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Su 11 a.m.-8 p.m. $

ROB REPORT PROVOCATIVE ENVIRONMENTAL COVERAGE AND COMMENTARY EACH WEEK. Check it out page 6!

18

MAY 22, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH The bar menu at Leilani’s recently got a very welcomed face-lift and now includes one of my favorite lunchtime combos: fruit on salad. It’s called the Sunsplash salad and it’s a sweet union of fresh, local greens, pineapple spears, strawberries and mandarin oranges with big, crunchy pieces of walnuts and a strawberry vinaigrette. Or, as I like to call it, heaven in a bowl. Whaler’s Village, Ka‘anapali, 661-4495. Open daily 11 a.m.-11 p.m. $ MTW


French Kiss Thursday, May 22, 9:30 p.m. at Casanova, Makawao [STAGE] I wasn’t sure exactly how to define this event. Ooh La La? Music? Nope, it’s all that and more. It’s cabaret! Moana Diamond, also known as “Mademoiselle Kiki,” will be coming to Maui to perform Cabaret D’Amour–an act full of music, costume, beauty and Parisian charm. Diamond fell in love with the stage as a child and her first trip to Paris at the age of 15 sealed the deal. Since then, she’s dedicated her life to the art and her heart to all things French. So, bust out that feather boa and slip on some kitten heels and get your bootie to Casanova for a (pseudo) night in Paris! Tickets: $13 in advance, $15 at the door. For more information www.frenchcabaret.net or 572-0220. [STARR BEGLEY]

SEND YOUR LISTINGS & PHOTOS FOR DA KINE CALENDAR TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM OR FAX (808) 244-0446 MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 22, 2008

19


ThIS WEEK’S PICKS by Starr Begley

Attack of the Celtics

Esquire + Charley’s = Awesome

Thursday-Sunday, various times and locations across the island [MUSIC] Seriously, there’s going to be a ton of great Celtic music going on this week. Maui Celtic is presenting Tim Readman and Shona Le Mottee, both high-profile, acclaimed musicians to play four venues in four nights all over the island. Readman’s a Celtic songsmith, guitarist and performer that I hear is absolutely engaging; Le Mottee is the doll with the fiery fiddle who captured the crowd in Michael Flatley’s Lord of the Dance. Here’s the lowdown: Thu. 7 p.m. at Lahaina Methodist church, $15; Fri. 6 p.m. dinner and show at Mulligan’s on the Blue, $39, reservations required 874-1131; Sat. 7:30 p.m. at The Studio Maui, Haiku, $20, 575-9390; Sun. 4 p.m. at Haleakala Waldorf, Kula, $20.

THURSDAY

Friday, May 23, at 10 p.m., Charley’s, Paia [MUSIC] A little kitchen fire isn’t going to stop the crew at Charley’s from throwing awesome parties. Okay, my favorite Paia bar did have to shut down for a few months to completely rebuild and redecorate, but now the place is looking great with a brand new bar, snazzy new floors and a fresh paint job. They also put up for new, better sound equipment, so Maui’s own guitar hero Vince Esquire will rock particularly hard when he takes the stage this weekend. It may be a little less retro now, which I have mixed feelings about, but the important thing is that Charley’s is back. This weekend is sort of a soft opening with a big reopening party planned for next week. $10. 579-9668 [JESSICA ARMSTRONG]

➤➤➤➤➤ FRIDAY ➤➤➤➤➤ SATURDAY ➤➤➤➤➤ SUN

Thursday, May 22nd I n t h e h e a r t o f O l d e M a k a w a o To w n

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY CASANOVA’S FAMOUS

THURSDAY MAY 22nd

LADIES NIGHT Q103 and the Big Hawaiian present

Dj Styles, DJ Jammin J & DJ Shaggy

CABARET d’ AMOUR

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA THE AWARDS

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” and

Featuring

“Mademoiselle Kiki” “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI” (Bay Area Cabaret Artiste Moana Diamond) Music Starts at 10:00pm $10 cover

& the Chez Kiki Trio take you on a romantic trip to Paris, circa 1930’s MUSIC STARTS AT 9:30PM $13 Advance $15 at Door

SATURDAY

MAY 24th

OFF

TOMORROW

NER WofIourN2008 “Battle of the BANDS” MUSIC STARTS AT 10PM

$7 COVER

Friday, May 23rd

Cabaret d’ Amour Featuring

Moana Diamond as Mademoiselle Kiki

singing the world’s most romantic songs transporting you to Paris a la 1935 with a side trip to Berlin. Specially accompanied by the Chez Kiki Trio to create a fabulous Moulin Rouge style ambience. Tickets: $13 Advance, $15 at the door, & www.frenchcabaret.net

Make it a memorable evening. Dine and dance at Casanova. For dinner reservations call 572-0220 www.casanovamaui.com 20

MAY 22, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY


Slackers, but in a good way [MUSIC] Saturday, May 24, at 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC Slack key guitar has been a Brown family tradition for more than three generations. It all began when brothers Kevin and Sheldon inherited the musical gene and a passion for slack key from their father. Inspired by the traditional sounds of old Hawai`i, the local boys formed a band called Waiehu Sons, recorded several albums and performed together for two decades around Maui. Along the way Kevin’s son Ikaika picked up the slack key and joined the party, recorded a few albums of his own and now performs regularly with his father and uncle. Tickets: $30. 242-7469 [JA]

DAY

Enlightened Afternoon [EVENT] Sunday, May 25, at 3 p.m., Studio Maui, Haiku Sunday Satsang featuring Ram Dass takes the meaning of “Talk Story” to a whole new level. Ram Dass will be joined by guests and friends Sat Santokh, a spiritual teacher and social activist who’s–get this!–the former manager of the Grateful Dead; Geoffrey Gordon, a musician, composer and singer with a gift for presenting kirtan and Daniel Paul, a Maui resident and award winning tabla drummer. The point is to collaborate, celebrate and contemplate the divine. As with all things truly divine, potluck follows. Suggested donation: $10. For more information www.studiomaui.com

➤➤➤➤➤MONDAY ➤➤➤➤➤TUESDAY ➤➤➤➤➤WEDNESDAY

music visual poetry by Hai Dai 9ish to 12ish Mental and oral stimulation til 1ish 2 for 1 cover, so bring some friends! gecko house playas: daniel j / del sol / tim dawg john scott / justin / jr. waikiki / steve:o oahu playas: g-spot / ikon lovelighthawaii.com double-o-spot.com

142 HANA HWY, PAIA

808-573-8085 www.charleyspaia.com

THURSDAY MAY 22

Coyote Ugly Music 10PM - 1AM $7 Cover

SATURDAY MAY 24

Aisha Kahlil of Sweet Honey and the Rock World Clas Jazz Vocalist CD

RELEASE PARTY FOLLOWED BY A DANCE

FRIDAY MAY 23

Vince Esquire

Music 10PM - CLOSE

CELEBRATION WITH

DR. NAT AND

RIO RITMO

Music 10PM - CLOSE $15 Cover

$10 Cover

808-874-1131 • 100 Kaukahi St. • Wailea MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 22, 2008

21


FILMCRITIQUE

BY COLE SMITHEY COLE@MAUITIME.COM

Atomic Indiana Spielberg and company revive Indiana Jones From the opening notes of its famous John Williams musical score, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull announces itself as a matinee serial cliffhanger-inspired sequel that’s built like a brick smokehouse where audiences will be spoonfed with infectious exuberance. The movie is dotted with immediately recognizable nostalgic elements that play to the kid in everyone. Teens drag race their convertible roadster with U.S. Army personnel on a Nevada rural route, circa 1957, before we discover that the military officers and soldiers are actually a team of wily Cold War Russians taking Jones and his intermittently doublecrossing sidekick Mac (Ray Winstone) to the government’s notoriously secret Hangar 51 to find the contents of a certain crate. Cate Blanchett channels Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS, as a blackbob-haired Ukrainian commandant named Irina Spalko who chews her vowels like licorice-coated borscht. With a smirk and his whip, Indy turns the giant hangar into a carnival of set piece action before escaping the enclosure to its dubious outer limits. The mushroom cloud of an atomic bomb test explosion tests Indy’s survival skills inside a mannequin-populated suburban housing mock-up, and sets up the cartoon action sequences that escalate exponentially. Back in the relatively safe confines of the college he teaches, Jones is fired as a result of an FBI investigation into his loyalty to homeland America. It’s not just the Cold War that’s breathing down Indy’s neck, but McCarthyism to boot. A malt shop meeting with a Wild One era motorcycle “greaser” named Mutt (Shia LaBeouf) convinces Indy that a trip to Peru to look for an archeological object of desire, the Crystal Skull of Akator, is in order. Once there, the newly-bonded duo of Indy and Mutt rescue one very insane Professor Oxley (well played in a squandered supporting role by John Hurt) and obtain the Crystal Skull, which resembles an elongated cranium of the creature from Alien. Irina and her troops catch scent of the skull and offer hot pursuit that fuels a longrunning series of eye-popping slapstick chase sequences involving giant ants, a hoard of monkeys and the dramatic use of one very long snake for rescuing a certain snake-hating hero. With Oxley and the Crystal Skull in tow, our daring trio become four

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MAY 22, 2008

when Mutt’s mother Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen from Raiders of the Lost Ark) is delivered into the story like a romantic reward for Jones, for whom it’s clear she is the only woman. Spielberg’s mastery of the chase form layers elements of small and grand scale spectacle in an orchestrated way so that

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

★★★★★ Rated PG-13/122 min.

every uptick in speed and obstacle is matched with humor and foreshadowing of things to come. The slaps and tickles arrive with undeniably entertaining sword fights and jumping or falling stunts that delight in a magical way that adventure cinema should. David Koepp’s script may not be a perfect example of balanced exposition and dramaturgy, but it doesn’t matter because the message is clear. We love to be taken with our surrogate family of heroes on pretend adventures to unbelievably beautiful and dangerous places where anything is possible, and where the surprises are beyond our wildest imaginations. We always want to go back. This is a movie you will want to revisit again and again. MTW

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

I know I’m forgetting something

Who said AARP members can’t still kick some ass?


MOVIECAPSULES

BY JESSICA ARMSTRONG CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

Maui Film Festival’s Candlelight Cinema

Maui Film Festival Castle Theater, 572-3456 Meet Bill - R - W only 5, 7:30

MEET BILL - R - Comedy - First impressions are everything and my impression of Bill from the reviews I read about this movie is that he’s a tired, boring and uninspired guy with no direction in life. Luckily, he’s got sexy, lingerie-clad Jessica Alba hanging around to cheer him up, because otherwise this movie could be a real snoozer. 100 min

Front Street Theater 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-F until 6:30pm, Sa-Su until 3:30pm, Discount Tue), Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - PG - Th 12:30, 3:45, 7, 10. F, Tu-W 3:45, 7, 10. Sa-M 12:30, 3:45, 7, 10 The Forbidden Kingdom - PG13 - Th-F, Tu-W 3:30, 6:30, 9:10. Sa-M 1, 3:30, 6:30, 9:10

New This Week INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL - PG13 - Action Indian Jones may be old enough to collect social security, but that doesn’t mean he’s just going to sit back with a golf club in one hand and a pack of adult diapers in the other while the world is being threatened with nuclear disaster by some evildoers bent on world domination. No, much like a fine wine--or Steven Spielberg’s directing skills--Jones just keeps getting better with age. That’s the consensus, at least, because this is the only new movie to grace Maui theaters all week. 204 min

Now Showing BABY MAMA - PG13 - Comedy - Leading ladies of Saturday Night Live Tina Fey and Amy Poehler team up to make a movie (and apparently a baby) in this silly little flic about surrogate motherhood. 89 min. BLINDSIGHT - PG - Documentary - An incredibly moving story about a group of blind kids from Tibet who decide to conquer Mount Everest. 104 min. CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN - PG - Fantasy - The Pevensie kids stumble back through the wardrobe and discover that over a century has past in Narnia time. The years have not been good to their beloved winter wonderland and they soon find themselves helping Prince Caspian battle an evil king to take his rightful place on the throne. 142 min THE FORBIDDEN KINGDOM - PG13 Action - Kung fu kings Jackie Chan and Jet Li team up for the first time in this adventure based on the ancient Chinese legend of the Monkey King and a young American martial arts enthusiast who finds a relic weapon at a pawn shop. 113 min. FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL - R Comedy - When poor sap Peter gets dumped by his television starlet girlfriend he flees to Oahu in search of sand, sun and distraction from his broken heart, but unfortunately, his ex beat him to the punch and is already at his resort with her new guy. Luckily the hottie, laid back front desk girl is willing to nurse his emotional wounds with cocktails and flirting. 112 min. HAROLD AND KUMAR ESCAPE FROM GUANTANAMO BAY - R Comedy - Notorious stoners Harold and Kumar get caught smuggling a bong onto an airport (on their way to get completely ripped in Amsterdam) and land themselves in a very grim situation in the worlds most notorious prison, and somehow it’s still really funny. 102 min. IRON MAN - PG13 - Action - A Marvel’s comic adventure adaptation about a wealthy

SHOWTIMES

Iron Man - PG13 - Th-F, Tu-W 4, 7:15, 10:15. SaM 1:15, 4, 7:15, 10:15 What Happens In Vegas - PG13 - Th-F, Tu-W 3:30, 6:30, 9. Sa-M 1, 3:30, 6:30, 9

Ka’ahumanu 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 8754910 (Matinees: everyday until 4pm), Baby Mama - PG13 - Daily 12:35, 2:55, 5:10, 7:25, 9:40 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - PG13 - Th-Su 11, 11:30, 12, 1:40, 2:10, 2:40, 4:20, 4:50, 5:20, 7, 7:40, 8:20, 9:40, 10:20, 11. M-W 11, 11:30, 12, 1:40, 2:10, 2:40, 4:20, 4:50, 5:20, 7, 7:40, 8:20, 9:40, 10:20.

Smile dummy, that’s Jessica Alba you’re standing next to! weapon maker whose trying to stop the evildoers who use his guns to hurt people. Wait, weapons can kill? Why didn’t someone tell him that BEFORE he designed the worlds most destructive toys. 92 min. MADE OF HONOR - PG13 - Comedy - Patrick Dempsey lines up with the ladies on the bride’s side in his best friends wedding, but when he realizes he’s head over high heels for the girl he tries to find a way to win her over without looking like a total schmuck. 101 min.

Oh yeah, this looks like a downer. 109 min. (AP) WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS - PG13 - Comedy - According to this movie if you get too drunk in Vegas you’ll marry someone super hot, win a huge jackpot and then be forced to fall in love with you’re newly betrothed by a judge who just isn’t down with annulment. So that’s why flights from Maui to Vegas are so cheap... 100 min

Speed Racer - PG - Th-Su 11:05, 12:30, 1:55, 3:20, 4:45, 6:10, 7:35, 9, 10:20. M-W 11:05, 12:30, 1:55, 3:20, 4:45, 6:10, 7:35, 9.

Kukui Mall 1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 ( Matinees: everyday until 4pm), Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - PG Th-Su 1, 4, 7, 10. M 1, 4, 7. Tu-W 2, 5, 8 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - PG13 - Th-Su 11:30, 2:10, 4:50, 7:30, 10:10. M 11:30, 2:10, 4:50, 7:30. Tu-W 2:10, 4:50, 7:30

REDBELT - R - Action - In this film about the rough world of Los Angeles ultimate fighters, director David Mamet attempts to coax a compelling, dramatic performance out of Tim ìTool Timeî Allen. 99 min. (Anthony Pignataro)

Iron Man - PG13 - Th-Su 2:20, 5:05, 7:50, 10:35. M-W 2:20, 5:05, 7:50

SPEED RACER - PG - Action - Kids will go crazy while adults get nostalgic over this cartoon adaptation about futuristic race cars, a heroic young racer and the greedy corporate businessman who wants to exploit his talents. Or something like that. Fast cars-that’s pretty much all you need to know. 126 min.

Maui Mall Megaplex

UNDER THE SAME MOON - PG13 - Drama Long story short, little nine-year-old Carlos loses his grandmother, so he must travel from his native Mexico to Los Angeles, where he hopes to find his mother, an illegal alien working as a domestic.

Speed Racer - PG - Th-M 12 What Happens In Vegas - PG13 - Th-Su 2:50, 5:05, 7:20, 9:35. M-W 2:50, 5:05, 7:20

Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm), Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - PG - Th 3:15, 3:45, 4:15, 6:30, 7, 7:30, 9:30, 10, 10:30. FM 12, 12:30, 1, 3:15, 3:45, 4:15, 6:30, 7, 7:30, 9:30, 10. Tu-W 3:15, 3:45, 4:15, 6:30, 7, 7:30, 9:30, 10 The Forbidden Kingdom - PG13 - Daily 1:55, 7:10 Forgetting Sarah Marshall - R - Daily 1:30, 6:50, 9:30 Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay - R - Daily 4:35, 9:55. Iron Man - PG13 - Th 1:45, 3, 4, 4:45, 6:15, 7:15, 7:45, 9:15, 10:15. F-M 12:15, 1:05, 1:45, 3, 4, 4:45, 6:15, 6:55, 7:45, 9:15, 9:50. Tu-W 1:45, 3, 4, 4:45, 6:15, 6:55, 7:45, 9:15, 9:50 Made of Honor - PG13 - Daily 1:40, 4:20, 6:55, 9:25 Redbelt - R - Daily 4:10 Under the Same Moon - PG13 - Daily 1:35, 4:10, 6:45, 9:20 What Happens In Vegas - PG13 - Th, Tu-W 1:30, 2:25, 4:05, 4:55, 6:40, 7:25, 9:10, 9:55. F-M 12, 1:30, 2:25, 4:05, 4:55, 6:40, 7:25, 9:10, 9:55

Wharf Cinema Center 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day), Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - PG13 - Daily 1, 4, 7, 9:45

Wed.. 5/28 5 :000 & 7:30pm

MauiFilmFestival.com m $100 w/pass

Made of Honor - PG13 - Th 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45. Th-F 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 10. Sa-M 12, 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 10. Tu-W 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 10 Speed Racer - PG - Daily 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 22, 2008

23


ART&ENTERTAINMENT

BY STARR BEGLEY STARR@MAUITIME.COM

Memory Lane St. Anthony Drama Club brings back oldies but goodies at their one-night-only variety show When I told my co-workers I was heading over to my alma mater to interview St. Anthony high school’s drama department about the first annual Blue and Gold Variety Show taking place May 23 at the Iao Theater, the response I got was not reassuring. “Won’t that be weird?” one asked. Actually, I didn’t know what to expect. It’s been years since I stepped foot on the campus, but living on such a small island, it’s not unusual for me to run into former classmates. As a teenager, I was notoriously late for school and my mother drove this old Beamer that screeched. It felt good when I pulled into the parking lot this past Thursday in my quiet SUV. The first thing that I noticed was how young all the kids looked; the second was that I was, once again, late. Because I didn’t know where the drama department was, I headed to

24

MAY 22, 2008

the main office and was surprised (and slightly mortified) when I came face to face with Susan–the same Susan who filled out my late slips so many years ago. Remembering me—she did write my name about 400 times—she pointed me in the right direction and didn’t even bust me for being late.

St. Anthony Blue and Gold Variety Show May 23, 7:30 p.m. at the Iao Theater. Tickets: $7 adults, $4 students and seniors. 244-4190.

I’m pretty sure that the room in which the drama students are constructing

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

their theater (they will be using money from the Fukunaga Award they received this year) was my old geometry class, and also the room where I had my second or third first kiss. What was once filled with rows of desks is now empty and “under construction.” There drama teacher Virginia Sandell, a petite blonde in her early 50’s, was directing a group of students and faculty rehearsing for the school’s first annual variety show. In December, she produced Hawaiian Kine Christmas, which brought a large crowd to the Iao Theater. When I walked in, they were working on “Greased Lightning,” one of my absolute favorites from Grease. The girls were lined up in two rows and danced in synch as Dario Rinaldi performed the part of Travolta as lead singer. I was immediately taken by Rinaldi’s comfort in his part, talent and complete lack of inhibition. Throughout the rehearsal he engaged me, the audience, by

eye contact. I don’t remember the boys in my grade being nearly as expressive or willing to dance and sing in front of strangers. Sandell and I left the group to continue their rehearsal and headed to her office. She told me that Rinaldi loves theater and that he is deeply taken by Pope John Paul II, who had a history in theater as a young man. “He wants to be a priest,” she said. Working in theater and film since she was a young child, Sandell went to college on a theater scholarship. She comes from a family of artists–her husband is artist David Sandell and her brother-in-law was nominated for an Academy Award in 2004. This has been her first year teaching at St. Anthony. “Our variety show is just really a celebration of happiness and hopes and dreams,” she said. “We’re doing a few numbers from Grease, I’ve got some hula, guitar and mandolin. We’re even doing an America’s Top Model spoof.” MTW


PREREGISTER to guarantee your space! Call for a reservation. $5 Application fee includes a gift bag.

Love finds the person who is easy to find

Saturday

LAUGH! IT UP

COMEDY

NITE! Hosted By:

EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT 8pm-10pm Live

ENTERTAINMENT

Kennno Ser ra

HAIKU HILLBILLY’S

Magician &median! Co

HAPPY HAPPY HOUR HOUR

DJ & DJ DRINK & DANCING DRINK 333 DAIRY ROAD SPECIALS SPECIALS

871-1414

LIVE MUSIC

8-Midnight 8-Midnight

Seating at 8:30 Show starts at 9pm $6 per person, 2-3 comedians

DINNER SHOW Saturday May 24th 10pm, $5 Cover EVERY FRIDAY! www.GiovanisEntertainment.com COMEDIAN:

W.D. HALL CORKY

2291 KA’ANAPALI PKWY

661-3160

RESERVATIONS RECOMMENDED

RELAX

IT’S AN EIGHTIES PARTY! SATURDAY MAY 24TH $2.50 Wells $2.50 Bud/Bud Light Draft $5 Cover (No Cover if you dress 80’s)

Shot Specials DJ JM KILL SPINNING 80’s MUSIC 9-12

THE WHARF CINEMA CENTER • LAHAINA • 667-0908 ___________________________________________________ VOTED BEST BURGER ON MAUI FOR 4 YEARS IN A ROW! MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 22, 2008

25


The Cultural Adventure Begins... Learn about ancient Hawaiian and Polynesian traditions

Joshua Alo

Witness the birth of a canoe, surfboard, paddle, ki‘i, pahu and poi board.

Featuring: YAP ISLAND NAVIGATIONAL TEAM Chad Kalepa Baybayan SPONSORED BY ‘AHA PUNANALEO, INC.

May 18-31, 2008 in Lahaina

Answer Your Calling [CD] This album is my new “bring on summertime” favorite. Alo, a local boy, has a smooth voice and his jams are extremely skankable. The first track “Irie” is a deceivingly mellow sounding tune that gets all intense with crazy ukulele riffs. The message is positive and one that locals will relate to. “Angel” starts off with this cool guitar picking sound and then goes seamlessly into a catchy reggae beat. The title track, “Answer Your Calling,” is probably my favorite, with a strong message about inner turmoil and resolution. Over all, the album is chill and a perfect addition to a night barbequing on the lanai after a long day in the sun.

Kamehameha Iki Park and Banyan Tree Park on Front Street

Damien Knapp

LahainaTown Action Committee presents

CULTURAL WORKSHOPS presented by

MAUI LAND AND PINEAPPLE COMPANY, INC.

Polynesian Cultural Village

DON'T MISS THE PARADE AND LAUNCH FESTIVITIES ON SATURDAY, MAY 31, 2008 PARADE: 2 pm - 3 pm CLOSING CEREMONIES: 3:45 pm LAUNCH: 5 pm - 6:45 pm Kamehameha Iki Park HO‘OLAULE‘A: 7 pm - 10 pm Banyan Tree Park Sponsored by:

Purchase Your 2008 Festival of Canoes T-shirt NOW! Available at the Lahaina Visitor Center or see www.visitlahaina.com!

EVENT HOTLINE: 667.9194 www.MauiFestivalofCanoes.com! 26

MAY 22, 2008

BY STARR BEGLEY STARR@MAUITIME.COM

Tunes for Summer

Share in a meaningful cultural exchange with participants

Captain and Navigator of Hawaiian deep-sea voyaging canoes

MINDCANDY

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Will You Cry When I Die? [CD] It’s kind of hard to explain the sound of Damien Knapp’s Will You Cry When I Die? in comparison to modernday rock and blues, because it’s not anything like the stuff pumping out of record labels today. Knapp’s got a funky, kind of trippy, easy going sound and voice that sticks with you. My favorite song, “Maui in the Sun,” makes me want to set my boobs free and wear a sundress. The title is deceptive. There is no slack key and it’s very Beatles. Knapp and his late father wrote the songs on the album and planned to perform them together before his untimely death. The sentiment is subtle, but it’s infused into the album. To get a handle on it, you need to listen to the eclectic blend yourself. www.myspace.com/damianknapp

Dani Girl It’s About Time Dani Girl’s got it going on. She’s been performing in Hawai‘i for a long time and has participated in a ton of compilations, but this is her first solo CD. Get it? About Time. True dat. The CD’s got a good blend of R&B, gospel and naturally reggae sound. The messages behind the tracks are also diverse. In fact, About Time is kind of like a sneek peak into this strong local woman’s heart and her musical journey. Track five, “Meeting in the Ladies Room,” is a surpsingly pop addition to the album, but I dig it. In fact, while I listen to it, I have flashbacks from club experiences of my younger years. Blurry and faded, but good times. MTW


DA KINECALENDAR

BY JESSICA ARMSTRONG CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

BIG SHOWS

Martha Graham. Graham was probably one of the

and older crowd. This week’s flick is The Big

most elegant, innovative and famed modern

Lebowski. 9:30 p.m. Cafe Mambo, Paia. 579-8021.

Festival of Canoes - Daily, May 22-31. A cultural

dancers of the twentieth century and is well known

heritage celebration of the history of canoes in the

for making eloquent statements both with her

Pacific with traditional ceremonies, daily canoe and

dance and speech. Move’s impersonation is an

May Day Program - Elementary school stu-

tiki carving and craft fairs. For a complete schedule

entertaining, funny and moving look into her life.

dents showing off in this multi-cultural spring per-

FRIDAY, MAY 23

of events visit www.mauifestivalofcanoes.com.

Tickets: $20. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater,

formance. Free. 8:30 a.m. King Kamehameha III.

Lahaina.

MACC. 242-7469.

662-3955.

French Cabaret - Thursday, May 22. See our

Taiko Festival - Sat, Jun 21. This celebration of the

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make

Picks of the Week section. $13 in advance, $15

fast-paced, energetic art of taiko drumming will get

something beautiful. Charm bracelet, 11 a.m.;

at the door. 9:30 p.m., Casanova, Makawao,

started with the Maui High School Drumline, fol-

Bouquet ring, 3 p.m.; Wire wrapping, 6 p.m.

572-0220.

lowed by familiar and new beats from Zenshin

Maui Bead Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center.

Very Variety - Friday, May 23. The St. Anthony

Daiko. The big finish will be a performance by the

873-8080.

Drama Club present an evening of good, old fash-

premier L.A. taiko ensemble Taikoproject. Tickets:

ioned fun and music with comedy, song and

$15. 7 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

dance numbers. It’s so very retro. Tickets: $7

Elmo! - Fri, Sat & Sun, Jun 27-29. OK, this is really

ing yet another day in a toxin-filled world. Walk-ins

adults, $4 students. 7:30 p.m. Iao Theater,

exciting for kids of all ages. Many of us grew up

only. Sliding scale pricing. 2-5 p.m. Dragon’s Den.

Wailuku. 244-4190.

learning letters, numbers and manners from our

Brown `Ohana - Saturday, May 24. See our Picks

furry friends on Seasame Street, a tradition that’s

of the Week section. Tickets: $30. 7:30 p.m. McCoy

stood the test of time with generation after genera-

Biofeedback - Mary Higgins, QXC/SCIO practitioner, helps you energetically rebalance after liv-

573-2424. Shakin’ Keiki - Come see little hula dancers in adorable outfits doing the cultural dance of their

Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

tion of keiki. Now the gang is on it’s way to Maui

Celtic Concert - Saturday, May 24. See our Picks

with a Broadway-quality production! Elmo is com-

of the Week section. Tickets: $20. 7:30 p.m. The

ing! And he’s coming to put the superness back in

Studio Maui. 575-9390.

Super Grover after he loses it somewhere along the

Barrio Fiesta - A cultural celebration of Maui’s

way. Tickets: $33, $20, $10. Fri, Jun 27, 7 p.m.; Sat,

Filipino community with live entertainment and

June 28, 10:30 a.m., 2 & 5:30 p.m.; Sun 4:30 p.m.

Filipino cuisine. 5-10 p.m. War Memorial Soccer

Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Field. 244-8194.

STAGE Theater for Kids - Thursday & Friday. Honolulu

EVENTS

Theater for Youth is coming for a special presentation of Maui’s Kite: Another Tale of Old Hawai`i. Free. May 22, 10 a.m.. Makawao Public Library, 573-8785; May 23, 10:30 a.m., Kihei Public Library, 875-6833 & 2 p.m., Lahaina Public Library, 662-3950. . Red Carpet Madness - Friday, Saturday & Sunday. Original skits, spoofs, songs, dances and audience participation collide in a variety show presented by the Baldwin Performing Arts Learning Center and the Baldwin Theatre Guild. Tickets: $8 adult, $7 seniors, $5 kids. Fri & Sat 7:30 p.m.; Sun 5

THURSDAY, MAY 22 Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make something beautiful. Sugar cube, 11 a.m.; Dazzling daisies, 3 p.m.; Hawaiian quilt, 6 p.m. Maui Bead

Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080. Come Out and Play - Elizabeth Ann Brandon, MA wants to make friends with your inner child using cognitive therapy, hypnosis and transactional analysis. Free. 12-3 p.m. Dragon’s Den, Makawao.

573-2424.

p.m. Baldwin High School, Loudon Mini-Theater.

984-5656.

Kahului Lions Club - Anyone interested in being involved is encouraged to attend this dinner meet-

Calling All Readers - Mon-Fri. Want to read for

ing. 6 p.m. Maui Beach Hotel. 243-7402.

Maui On Stageís Bare Essential Theater? Roles are announced at monthly readings and scripts are given out in advance. Call Kristi. 244-8680 x23.

Celtic Music - Guitarist Tim Readman and fiddler Shona Le Mottee will perform an evening of great Celtic music. Tickets: adults $15, kids $10. 7 p.m.

TICKETS ON SALE Groundation - Sat, May 31. Natural Mystic Productions presents an all ages show with music

Lahaina United Methodist Church. 264-5190. Films From Down Under - Check out five Aussie short films by Aboriginal filmmakers. Free. 7

by Oahu rockers Ooklah the Moc and local musi-

p.m. Kihei Charter School. 270-7415.

cians Versatile and The Alliez and special guest DJ

Great Gospel - Grammy, BET, NAACP and Soul

Boomshot. Beer garden for the 21+ crowd. Tickets:

Train award winner and gospel great Donnie

$25 presale, $35 at the door. For ticketing locations

McClurkin will share his voice and message at the

visit www.naturalmysticproductions.com. 4 p.m.-

start of the All the Nations Worship Conference.

10 p.m. Lahaina Civic Center.

Free. 7 p.m. King’s Cathedral, Kahului. 250-6964.

Martha at Maui - Sat, May 31. Drag artist Richard

Cinema Night - Cafe Mambo will be hosting an

Move’s show is an exquisite one man tribute to

evening of classic and cult classic films for the 21

ancestors. Free. 3:30 p.m. Lahaina Center, 900

Monday Nights 10PM

LIVE MUSIC One Round Trip Inter-Island

Front St. 667-9216.

Ticket Give Away

Each Monday From

900 Front Street

667-7400

Happy Hour 3-7 Dancing 10pm - Close 5/22 Thurs - Rampage 5/23 Fri -Yo Momma 5/24 Sat- Catastrophe feat, Luke 808 5/25 Sun- Industry Nite 5/26 Mon- Kanoa of Gomega 5/27 Tues- Danny Murray 5/28 Wed- Wii Bowling followed by the Crunch Pups

DANCE DANCE DANCE

THURSDAYS

NO COVER

900 Front Street

1913 S. Kihei Road. 808 891-8010

667-7400

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 22, 2008

27


The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 05/22

Friday 05/23

Saturday 05/24

TBA

Estee Graham No cover, 10pm

Fatima No cover, 10pm

MON-Blu Sol, 9pm; TUE - Kahala & Indio of LAWA, 9pm; WED- TBA, 9pm

DJ Plush $5, 9pm

MON - Jazz Cafe w/ Mana’o Radio; WED - Randal Rospond WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/DJ Styles, DJ Jammin J & DJ Shaggy $10, 10pm

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 891-1011

CAFE MARC AUREL 28 N. Market St. Wailuku - 244-0852

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

Sal Godinez Band No cover Cabaret d’Amour $15, 9:30pm

NITELIFE $10, 10pm

Off Tomorrow $7, 10pm

Coyote Ugly $7, 10pm

Vince Esquire $15, 10pm

Aisha Kahlil $15, 10pm

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-9668

Sunday 05/25

Monday 05/26– Wednesday 05/28

Salsa $7, 10pm

COMPADRES Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-7189

COOL CAT CAFE

Dave Carroll No cover, 9pm

Orin & Junior No cover, 9pm

Wharf Cinema, Lahaina - 667-0908

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB

TUE - HWY 30

Dave Carroll No cover, 9pm

TBA No cover, 9pm

Off Tomorrow, No cover, 9pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

GIOVANI’S

Comedy Night 9 p.m

2291 Honoapiilani Hwy., 661-3160

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

MON - Erin Smith; TUE - Luxury Cruise; WED - TBA, No cover, 9pm MON - Silky Ringo, TUE - Scott Baird; No cover, 9pm

Haiku Hillbillys $5, 9pm

Silky Ringo 9pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

MON - Marty Dread, $10, $5 Kama aina, 10 p.m.

Dance fiddler, Shona Le MottÈe. Tickets: $20, $10

Heart Healthy - Maui Memorial Medical Center

Leo Ho`onani and more. $69 per person. Call for

for kids. . 4 p.m. Haleakala Waldorf School, Kula.

invites the public to get information and advice

details. 1:30 p.m.-late. King’s Cathedral, Kahului.

878-2511.

about taking care of their hearts. Free. 11 a.m.-1:30

250-6964.

Drum Cirlcle - Bring your drum and beat away

p.m. Makawao Hongwanji Mission. 243-3047.

Book Reading - An English and Hawaiian reading

with others in the community. Free. 4 p.m.-sunset.

Non-Profit Polynesian Dance - Support the

of To Honor Mau: The Voyage of the Hokule`a

Kihei. 298-9022.

kids of the Napili Kai Foundation by watching their

Through Micronesia with Hawaiian immersion stu-

Line Dancing - Practice your tush push ya’ll and

Polynesian dance show. $10 adults, $5 kids. 5:30

dents from Lahainaluna High School. Ed Lindsey, a

come on down for some line dancing by the Maui

p.m. 669-6271.

cultural expert, will also be on hand to answer ques-

Paniolo Posse. Lessons: 6:30 p.m.; Dancing: 7 p.m.

tions. A part of the proceeds from book and photo-

Lahaina Cannery Mall.

Comedy Night - Laugh it up with guest

ing of Na Hoku Hanohano award winning group Na

comics every week. $6. 9 p.m. Giovani’s,

Kaanapali. 661-3160.

SATURDAY, MAY 24 Swap Meet - I’ve always wanted to unearth some totally awesome treasure at a random flea market. This might be a good place to start. Admission: 50 cents. 7 a.m.-12 p.m. Pu`unene

Ave., Kahului. 877-3100. Hula Classes - Hula Classes - Every Sat. Halau

graph sales will benefit the Polynesian Voyaging

Kawaianuhealehua holds open hula classes for chil-

Society. Free. 6:30 p.m. Pioneer Inn conference

dren, teen and adult wahines and kanes. 9 a.m.

room. 667-5708.

Maui Waena School.

SUNDAY, MAY 25 Habitat for Humanity - Spend a few hours help-

Saving Singles - Meet up with this fun group to talk about investment issues with other money-savy

MONDAY, MAY 26 Memorial Day Service - A time to remember

singles. Free. 5:30 p.m. Cary & Eddie’s Hideaway,

Kahului. 579-9249.

and honor those who died serving their country. 10

Speed Dating - Sit down for a round of three-

a.m. Makawao Veterans Cemetery.

minute dates. Who knows, you could find true

ing a family in need get secure shelter. 9 a.m. Call

Tantra Temple Services - Embrace the spiritual

Free Beading Classes - Learn new skills and be

love... or at least someone you might want to

for details. 893-0334.

essence of all faiths with tantra, an ancient high-spir-

creative. Hawaiian quilt, 11 a.m.; Charm bracelet; 3

spend a whole second date with. Registration: $5.

itual practice. Free. 10 a.m. 2138 Vineyard St.,

p.m.; Basic earrings, 6 p.m. Maui Bead Shack,

8 p.m. Wow-Wee Maui Kava Bar & Grill, Kahului.

Wailuku. 244-4103.

Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

871-1414.

qued chicken. $7 per plate, on sale at 10 a.m. 6:30

Barrio Fiesta - A cultural celebration of the histo-

Pipe Up - No experience is needed for drummers

a.m.-2 p.m. First Korean Baptist Church, Kahului.

ry of Maui’s Filipino community and delicious

and bagpipers at these open, free lesson and prac-

877-0814.

Filipino cuisine. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. War Memorial

tices for the Isle of Maui Pipe Band. 6 p.m. Call for

Ayurvedic Consultations - Margo P. Uma Gal,

Soccer Field. 244-8194.

Direction. 876-0154.

CAP., offers up wisdom on diet and lifestyle from

Filipino community with live entertainment,

A Luncheon to Remember - Commemorate

Women Helping Women - A support group for

Filipino cuisine, dancing, a talent show and coro-

the 110th anniversary of the sailing of the first

women affected by domestic violence. 6 p.m. Kihei,

nation. 10 a.m.-10 p.m. War Memorial Soccer

Fukushima-ken immigrants to Hawaii with the Maui

call for details. 242-0775.

Field. 244-8194.

Fukushima Kenjin Kai. 11 a.m. Maui Beach Hotel,

High Hopes Square Dance Club - A place for

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make

Kahului. 877-0051.

beginners to pick up some steps and seasoned

something beautiful. Quick cluster, 11 a.m.; Silk

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make

square dancers to show off their moves. Free. 7

knotting, 3 p.m.; Basic earring, 6 p.m. Maui Bead

Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

Korean BBQ - Shop for treasures at this community yard sale while you much on delicious barbe-

Barrio Fiesta - A cultural celebration of Maui’s

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make something beautiful. Basic earring, 11 a.m.; Quick

WEDNESDAY, MAY 28

over 20 years of experience as an Ayurvedic Practitioner. Walk-ins only. Free. 10:30 a.m.-1 p.m.

Makawao. 572-2424.

cluster, 3 p.m.; Silk knotting, 6 p.m. Maui Bead

something beautiful. Learn basic crimping methods,

p.m. Hannibal Tavares

Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

11 a.m.; Wire wrapping: 2 p.m. Maui Bead Shack,

Pukalani. 572-0671.

Safety Fair - Get info on a variety of safety

Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

issues. Local musician Derrick Sebastian will per-

Hula Show - Get a taste of Hawaiian history and

form. Free. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Maui Marketplace,

culture. Free. 1 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului. 877-8952.

Kahului. 873-0400.

Sunday Satsang - See our Picks of the Week

training center, 665-5485; 6 p.m., St. Theresa

Bon Dance Practice - Open bon dance prac-

Hula Show - Get a taste of Hawaiian history and

section. $10 suggested donation. 3 p.m. The Studio

Church, Kihei, 298-3966.

tice. Free. 6:30 p.m. Lahaina Senior Center.

culture. Free. 1 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului. 877-8952.

Maui. 575-9390.

Cultural Celebration - This second annual

A Celtic Afternoon - Bring the family for some

something beautiful. Bouquet ring, 11 a.m.; Sugar

WOW! - Every Wed. Wailea on Wednesdays pres-

Cultural Dance Exhibition will feature halau from

great Celtic music, stories, and fun with songsmith

cube, 3 p.m.; Basic crimping, 6 p.m. Maui Bead

ents live island music, gallery receptions, artist

across the state, ethnic lunch concerts, a live record-

and guitarist Tim Readman and stunning Lord of the

Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

appearances and more. . 6:30-8 p.m. 897-6770 x2.

28

MAY 22, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Community Center,

TUESDAY, MAY 27

Shakin’ Keiki - Come see little hula dancers in adorable outfits doing the cultural dance of their ancestors. Free. 2:30 p.m. Lahaina Center, 900

Toastmasters - Perfect your public speaking skills

Front St. 667-9216.

in this community club. 9 a.m., Kapalua Land Co.

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make

661-0640.


DA KINECALENDAR KEIKI Basketball Camp - See Sports.

BY JESSICA ARMSTRONG CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

Keiki Chess Club - Wed. Learn to play chess with magician Niel Bruce, for keiki ages 8-12. Free. 2:30-4 p.m. Makawao Public Library. 573-8785.

ENVIRONMENT

Pacific Whale Foundation Marine Naturalists are

Coastal Restoration - Fri. Habitat restoration at

is, are you?. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Ulua Beach, Wailea.

Waihe`e coastal dunes with Maui Coastal Land

249-8811.

Story Time - Thu. Keiki story time and crafts.

Keiki Shots - Wed. (Central Maui) Bring children

Free. 10 a.m. Hawaiian Village Coffee, Kahana.

up to the age of 18 without medical insurance in for

665-1114.

vaccinations. Bring all immunization records. Walk-

Memorial Day Service Trip - Sat-Mon. Learn

Keiki Issues? - Thu. The Parent Project, a pro-

in basis. Free. 12-3 p.m. Wailuku Health Center.

about the Haleakala crater while you remove non-

gram for parents of strong willed children. Wrestle

984-8260.

native and care for native plant species. There’s a

the phone away from the child and make that call.

LECTURE

Free. 6:30-8:30 p.m. Hui Malama Learning Center.

Trust. 8 a.m.-12 p.m. Waihe`e. 244-5263.

definitely smarter than a fifth grader. The question

Save Honolua - Tue. Meeting to inform, educate and involve the community on the proposed development of Honolua Bay. 6:45 p.m. Lahaina Civic

Center. 870-0052.

free stay at the Holua cabin in it for you. Call for Building supplies - Every Wed, Thu, Fri & Sat.

reservations. 876-1673.

Spring cleaning! Donate new and nearly new

289-5050.

Vitamins and More - Sat. Dr. Steve Blake,

Save the Forest - Sun. The Pacific Whale

Yu-Gi-Oh - Sat. Little gamester get out your cards

author of Vitamins and Minerals Demystified will

Foundation is hosting a group of ten volunteers to

and get ready for a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament! Free. 3

be discussing how proper nutrients can help you

pull invasive pine trees near Hosmers Grove.

p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-4766.

lose weight and gain energy. $20. 10 a.m. Dragon’s

Transportation is provided. Bring warm clothes,

Yo Yo Workshop & Demo - Sun. Yo Yo’s are

Den, Makawao. 572-8371.

long pants and closed boots. Pick ups: 7:30 a.m.,

silent, so encourage your kids to learn how to use

Beauty Secrets - Mon. A colorful slide show and

Harbor Shop, 300 Ma`alaea Rd; 8:15 a.m.,

them and finally get some peace and quiet! Free. 4-

lecture by Dr. Steve Blake on rejuvenating spa and

Upcountry Tavares Community Center. RSVP

5 p.m. Maui Toy Works. 661-5304.

beauty secrets from Switzerland, Austria, Germany

856-8341.

After-School Help - Mon-Fri. Hui Malama

and Romania. He must be one pretty guy. $20 at the

Great American Cleanup - Got a little time to

Learning Center offers after-school homework

door. 6:30 p.m. 1045 Piiholo Rd, Makawao. RSVP

volunteer? Help Community Work Day, a Maui non-

Maui High Ladies Soccer Meeting - Thu.

help and classes. Call for directions and hours.

572-8371.

profit organization, keep the island environment

Maui High girls interested in playing soccer should

244-5911.

Radiation Therapy - Wed. A professional lecture

beautiful. Call for details. Various times. Island wide

attend this informational meeting. 6 p.m. Maui High

West Side Storytime - Every Tue & Sat.

by Jay Gutierrez about low-dose radiation treat-

locations. 877-2524.

School Gym, Kahului. 205-2344.

Lahaina’s newest bookseller is hosting keiki story

ments and why and how it works to strengthen the

Smarter than a Sand Crab? - Mon-Fri. Get

Wailea Tennis Open - Fri-Mon. Watch the

time, so get them hooked on reading early. Tue., 10

immune system and promote DNA repair. Free.

free info about marine life and answers to all those

action at the Wailea Grand Prix tennis champi-

a.m.; Sat., 11 a.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina.

7:30 p.m. The Studio Maui. 575-9390.

pesky questions that keep you up all night. The

onships, the largest tennis event on Maui. For

building materials or purchase them at reduced prices. Volunteers needed to stock, display and price merchandise. Reduce the amount of usable building materials going into the landfill. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Habitat for Humanity, Market St., Wailuiku.

986-8050.

SPORTS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 22, 2008

29


The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 05/22

Friday 05/23

Saturday 05/24

Sunday 05/25

HECOCKS 505 Front St, Lahaina - 661-8810

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

Duh No cover, 9pm

Cheryl Rae No cover, 9pm

I’O JACQUES

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE 355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

WED - Local Boys, Jacob, Tony & Matteo; No cover, 10pm

Gina Martinelli No cover

MON - Da Hawaiians, 9pm

DJ El Gato & DJ Boomshot $10, 10pm

120 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8844

36 Keala Pl., Kihei - 875-7711

Sonny B No cover, 10pm

Howard Ahia No cover, 9pm

505 Front St., Lahaina - 661-8422

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB

Lonnie Williams No cover, 9pm

Monday 05/26– Wednesday 05/28

MON - Live Music, No cover

Vince Esquire

Kenny Roberts No cover

El Vato Loco No cover

Jared & Dale No cover

Q103

Crunch Pups $5, 9:30pm

Danny Murray No cover, 9:30pm

Crunch Pups $5, 10pm

Rampage 10pm

Yo Mama 10pm

Catastrophe w/ Luke 808 10pm

MON - Jared, No cover; TUE - Da Hawaiians; No cover WED - Chico & Da Kine; No cover

KIMOS 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

more info visit www.waileatennis.com. Wailea

est in the ocean and sea creatures. He will be in

Tennis Club. 879-1958.

the gallery discussing his work on Fridays from 4

Golf and Gala - Fri. Get some golf in while you’re

to 7:30 p.m. 10 a.m.-8 p.m. Maui Hands Gallery,

networking at Maui Chamber of Commerce’s annu-

Lahaina. 667-6753.

MON - Kanoa and Friends, 10pm; TUE - Danny Murray, 10pm; WED - Crunch Pups; 10pm

FARMERS MARKET & ART/CRAFT

Natural Ground: The Intentions of Three -

FAIRS

Daily (except Mon). Three artists from three different

Festival of Canoes Art Fair - Daily. Carvers,

at Maui Lani. 871-7711.

Hawaiian islands exhibit their works in painting,

painters, photographer, jewelers and crafters display

Paddling for Breast Cancer Survivors -

drawing and sculpture to interpret the beautiful nat-

their wares during Lahaina’s annual celebration of

Every Mon & Wed. Get together with other sur-

ural environment that surrounds us. 11 a.m.- 5 p.m.

Hawaiian and Pacific Island culture. 9 a.m.-5 p.m.

vivors for canoe paddling. Free. 6:45 a.m. Kihei

Schaefer International Gallery, MACC. 242-7469.

includes two gala tickets. 10:30 a.m.-9 p.m. Dunes

Banyan Tree Park, Lahaina. 667-9175.

Pastels - Daily. Two of Maui’s premier oil

Tai Chi - Every Mon & Fri. Get your Tai Chi in dur-

872-4320. ture the beauty of Maui in pastels. 10 a.m.-7 p.m.

noon-12:45 p.m. State Building Plaza, Wailuku. M-Sa; 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Su. Maui Hands Galleries,

Walk, Run, Train - Every Tue & Thu. Whether

original work, your favorite poem, or just come to be

Paia. 573-2021.

662-3950. Open Mind Open Mic - Every Mon. Open Mind Open Mic with spoken word, poetry, comedy— whatever you have to say here’s your chance. Free.

6 p.m., Moana Bakery, Paia, 244-9091. Open Mic - Every Saturday the Maui Media Lab hosts an open mic night for poets, muscicians and

painters, Steven Burr and Kathleen O’Bryan, cap-

ing your lunchbreak with Dr. Lorrin Pang. Free.

984-8200.

Aurel, Wailuku, 244-0852.

inspired. Free. 6:30 p.m., Lahaina Public Library,

Aloha Craft Fair - Fri. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Maui Mall.

Canoe Club. 243-2999.

with music, song, poetry! Free. 7 p.m., Cafe Marc

Poetry Reading - Every second Tue, read your

al golf game followed by Cafe O’Lei cuisine, live entertainment and a silent auction. $200 per player

Express Yourself - Every Mon. Open Mic Night

Benefit Arts & Crafts Fair - Sat. A portion of

others who want to be heard. Sessions are record-

the proceeds benefit Maui Family Support Services.

ed and fed to the internet. All ages are welcome.

9 a.m.-4 p.m. Napili Plaza. 667-8554.

Free. 6-9 p.m., Maui Media Lab, Baldwin Ave, zuma-

Farmers Market of Maui - Every Mon, Wed &

tribe@yahoo.com.

you’re a walker or a runner, you’ve got a group to

Touchy-Feely - Daily. A group exhibit of artwork

Fri. Sample the goods at this local market for fresh

Poetry Reading - Every second Thu Maui Live

train with. 5:30 p.m. Runner’s Paradise, Maui Mall.

that makes your fingers tingle! Opening reception

produce. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. 61 S. Kihei Rd.

Poets Society hosts an open poetry reading on the

877-5300.

and wine party on Sat., Apr 26., 7 p.m.-midnight.

Honokowai Farmers Market - Every Mon, Wed

West side. Free. 6:30- 9 p.m. Lahaina, 661-0517

Pool Hours - Daily. Pool Hours - Besides the fear

7-10 a.m. & 4-late. Cafe Marc Aurel, Wailuku.

& Fri. Lots of fresh local produce plus baked and

244-0852.

canned goods. 7-11 a.m. Lower Honopiilani Hwy.

of contracting super-strain ukuís, I really enjoy a good swim in a public pool. Sometimes the thought of dealing with sand is just too much to bear.

Viewpoints Exhibit - Daily. Devoted plein air

Kahului, Kihei, Lahaina, War Memorial, Pukalani,

painter Michael Clements will be displaying his

anthe Old and New Wailuku Pools: M-W, F, S 9 a.m-

efforts to catch the landscapes of Maui from road-

4 p.m.; Th 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m.; Sun 12-4:30 p.m.

sides, beaches, mountain slopes, harbors and pas-

These hours can change due to events. To double

tures. M-Sa 9 a.m.-5 p.m.; Su 11 a.m.-5 p.m.

check you can call, 270-6135.

Viewpoints Gallery, Makawao. 572-5979.

TV/RADIO

Ho`olokahi Arts & Crafts Fair - Every Tue &

The Restless Native Speaks - Every Mon.

Fri. Fresh flower lei-making classes from 9-11 a.m.

Maui Time Weekly’s own Starr Begley talks

on Fridays. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Wailea Beach Marriott

story on the Ed and Greg show. 10 a.m., WILD

Resort south lobby. 879-1922.

105.5 FM.

KBH Craft Fair - Fri. Cultural crafts and live

Filipino Language - Mon-Fri. Fred Duldulao, Leo

demos. 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Ka`anapali Beach Hotel

Agcolicol, Rey Patao and Maggie Evangelista host a

lobby. 667-5978.

Filipino language talk show. 4-6 a.m.; 7-10 p.m.,

Art Night - Fri. Stroll through dozens of art gal-

Ohana Farmers & Crafters Market - Every

KNUI 900 AM.

leries in Lahaina Town. Special gallery shows, fea-

Tue, Wed & Fri. 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Queen Ka’ahumanu

Talk Story - Every Mon-Thu. Political figures take

to develop the talent of each player as well as skills

tured artists-in-action and refreshments. Free. 6:30

Shopping Center. 877-3369.

calls and answer questions on the air. 7-8 a.m.,

to help kids reach for a higher goal in life. Volunteers

p.m. Lahaina. 661-6284.

Resort Craft Fair - Every Wed & Fri. Hawaiian

KAOI 1110 AM. Tune in and call 244-9145.

arts and crafts. 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Renaissance Wailea

Mind Body Spirit - Every Mon from 6:30-9:30

Beach Resort.

p.m., Tue from 11 a.m.-2 p.m., and Thu at noon. Liah

Basketball Camp - Jul. 22, 23. Open to boys and girls 9-17 years of age. REACH, featuring Rick Harville and Sherwin Durham, will teach fundamental skills

welcome. Cost: $45, includes T-shirt, certificate of completion, photograph and lunch. For more infor-

Art Bistro - Mon. Local artists display their wares, from photography and painting to jewelry

mation, call 893-2494 or 344-3793.

POETRY

and sculptures. Live music, too. 5-10pm. Jacques

ART

Northshore Bistro, 120 Hana Hwy. Paia. 808-

Maui Hands - Daily. Featured artist Pierre

269-0961.

Chasle photography expresses his love and inter-

30

MAY 22, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Howard, psychic and guests. KAOI 1110 AM. Maui Talks - Every Tue. A live, public affairs, call-

Open Mic - Every night is open mic night at

in talk show, hosted by Nick Nikhilananda. 7 p.m.

Hawaiian Village Coffee. Kahana Gateway location,

Channel 53. Call in at 873-3430 or for info call

call 665-1114.

572-8787.


The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 05/22

Friday 05/23

LONGHI’S 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

Sunday 05/25

Monday 05/26– Wednesday 5/28

I-Chalice 9:30pm

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S

Saturday 05/24

Neto Latin Salsa No cover, 9pm

The Willy’s & DJ Shaggy No cover, 9pm

All Access & DJ Shaggy $10, 10pm

MON - Na Hoku, Crazy Fingers, All Access, WED Karaoke, 9pm

MAUI BREWING CO.

WED - Open Mic Night, 10:30pm

4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy., Kahana - 669-3474

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 2511 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8600

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

MULLIGAN’S AT THE WHARF Cinema Center, Lahaina - 661-8881

ADD Twins No cover, 9pm

ADD Twins No cover, 9pm

DJ T-Money No cover, 9pm

Cyrus C

Celtic Concert $39, $20

Open Mic No cover, 10pm

Unified Soul 9:30pm

MON - Gypsy Pacific; TUE - Randall Rospond & Tom Conway; WED - Steve Sargenti

Wee D’ono No cover, 10pm

Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

Hazmatt No cover, 10pm

Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

MON - Cowboy Chris;TUE - I-Chalice; WED - Open Mic

DJ Nutmeg $5, 10pm

Versatile $10, 10pm

DJ Astro Raph No cover, 10pm

MON - Willie K, $10, 9pm

DJ Blast $5, 10pm

DJ Nutmeg $10, 10pm

DJ Nutmeg No cover, 10pm

OCEANS BEACH & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-2414

OYSTER BAR 744 Front St., Lahaina - 661-9090

DJ Jay P $5, 10pm

Soft Touch No cover, 9pm

PACIFIC’O 505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

DJ Kyle No cover, 10pm

Freaky Friday w/DJ Sonny No cover, 10pm

DJ Magnetic No cover, 10pm

Crunch Pups No cover, 10pm

Bozo the Train No cover, 10pm

Vince Esquire No cover, 10pm

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

Kanoa of Gomega No cover, 10pm

MON-DJ Blast, 10pm; TUE-DJ Boomshot, No cover, 10pm; WED- ADD Twins, No cover, 10pm

DJ Shark in da Water, No cover, 9:30pm

MON - Karaoke, 9:30pm; TUE - The New Project, No cover, 10pm; WED - DJ Del Sol, No cover, 10pm

Haiku Hillbillys $3, 9pm

1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

TIP-UPS TAVERN

TUE DJ Mackie Mac, $5, 9pm; WED - DJ T-Money, No cover, 9pm

Kilohana No cover, 10pm

Tom Cherry & Positive Energy; No cover, 10pm

Ohana Groove No cover, 10pm

Words of Peace - Every Wed-Thu. Prem Rawat

Japanese Language - Sun. Yumi’s long-run-

Cheeseburger In Paradise - Mon, Tue, Scotty

broadcasts messages of world and inner peace. Not

ning Japanese language show. 7-8:30 p.m.,

Rotten; Wed, Fri, Harry Troupe; Thu, Sat, Sun, Brooks

& Pro Ed; Sat, Mark & Mike. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844

KNUI 900 AM.

McGuire. All sets 4:30-10:30 p.m. 811 Front St.,

Front St., 667-7758.

Save Honolua - Every Wed at 8 p.m and Thu at

Lahaina, 661-4855.

Mulligan’s on the Wharf - Fri, AnRil. All sets 7

7:30 a.m., AKAKU Channel 53.

Compadres - Tue, 4 p.m., Live music. Lahaina

p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661-8881.

Cannery Mall, 661-7189.

Pioneer Inn - Thu, Ah-Tim Eleniki; Tue, Captain

Cool Cat Cafe - Thu, Erin Smith; Fri, Sat, Dave

Billy Bones; Wed, Greg Di Piazza. All sets 6-8 p.m.

Isana Restaurant - Daily, 9 p.m. 515 S. Kihei Rd.,

Carroll; Sun, Wed, Whale Sharks; Mon, Mickie

658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636.

Kihei, 874-1811.

Moore; Tue, Jazz; . all sets 7:30-10 p.m. Wharf

Sea House Restaurant - Early sets in the Sea

Kobe Japanese Steakhouse - Fri-Sat, 9:30

Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908.

Breeze Terrace: Thu & Fri, Brian Haia; Sa-Su, Lui

p.m., 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 667-5555.

Hula Grill - (Early sets) Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat Ernest

Teri Lawrence. 12-1 p.m. KAOI 1110 AM Call in

Lulu’s - Wed, 7 p.m., 1941 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9944.

Pua’a; Sun,Mon, Kawika Lum Ho; Tue, Jarret

242-7800.

Sansei - Thu-Fri, 10 p.m., 600 Office Road,

Uncle Charlie’s Corner - Sat. Kahu Charles

Kapalua, 669-6286; Thu-Sat, 10 p.m. Kihei Town

Kauluwehi Maxwell, Sr. talks story. 6-10 a.m., KNUI

Center, 879-0004.

900 AM.

Tiffany’s - Daily, 9:30 p.m., 1424 L. Main St.,

Free Zone/ Zona Libre - Every other Sat. A

Wailuku, 249-0052.

associated with a specific religion. Wed, 9 p.m.; Thu,

8 a.m. Akaku Channel 52, www.contactinfo.org, 800-558-0940. Smallville - Every Fri. Small Town Maui, a onehour, weekly radio program that shares the memories and values of the small towns we love and

KARAOKE

Moose McGillycuddy’s, Lahaina - Fri, Llayne

explores how we can learn from Maui's past to create a better future. 7 a.m. KAOI, 1110 AM. On the Upside with Teri - Every Fri. Political and public affairs, call-in talk show with

multi-lingual, multi-cultural radio program featuring world music, fresh thought, live interviews with

Unisan - Thu-Sat, 9:30 p.m., 2102 Vineyard St.,

Wailuku, 244-4500.

DINNER MUSIC

“TBA”; Sun, Ryan Tanaka & Derrick Sebastian;

WEST MAUI

5 p.m. Thu, Albert Kaina and Kincade Basques; Fri, Kincade Basques; Sat, Coelho Morrison; Sun, Andrew Jauba; Mon & Tue Kincade Basques; Wed, Albert Kaina. All sets 7-9 p.m. Napili Kai Beach

Resort, 5900 Honoapi`ilani Rd., Napili, 669-1500.

SOUTH MAUI

Den. Late sets 7-9:30 p.m. 2435 Ka`anapali

Parkway, Building P, 667-6636.

Longhi’s - Sat, acustic music. 10:30-11 p.m. 3750

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Mon-Sat, Acoustic music. All sets 7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapi`ilani Rd.,

Honokowai, 667-0787.

Wailea Alanui Dr., 891-8883 Ma`alaea Grill - Thu, Fri, Sat, Benoit Jazz Works. All sets 6:30-9 p.m. Maalaea Harbor, 243-2206.

Kimo’s - Mon- Wed, Sat, Sun, Sam Ahia. Fri,

Maui Matters - Sat-Sun. Pacific Radio Group News Director Wendy Osher discusses local issues.

Braddah Brian & Roy; Fri, Brian, Roy & Kawika;. Sat,

Mon,“Derrick & Josh”; Tue, Roy & Friends; Wed, An

local and international artists and NO commercial breaks. 6-10 a.m. Mana’o Radio 91.5 FM.

Roback. Early sets 3-5 p.m. (Followed by) Thu,

Williams; Mon-Wen, Coelho Morrison. All sets 3:30-

Moose McGillycuddy’s, Kihei - Fri, Erin Smith;

deAquino Bradaz. All sets 6:30-8:30 p.m. 845 Front

Sat, Anuhea; All sets 5:30-7:30 p.m. 2511 S. Kihei

Rd., 891-8600.

1-2 p.m., KNUI 900 AM.

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Wed-Fri, John Kane;

St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

Spanish Language - Sat-Sun. Carlos David

Sat, Harry Troupe; Sun, Greg DiPiazza; Mon, Tue,

Leilani’s On The Beach - Fri, Scott Baird;. Sat,

Mulligan’s on the Blue - Fri, Joyce & Gord,

Hernandez discusses news and plays music in

Marvin Tevaga. All sets 7:30-9:30 p.m. 730 Front St.,

JD and Harry; Sun, Kilohana. All sets 2:30-5 p.m.

5:30-8 p.m.; Sat, Sun, Celtic Tigers; Mon, Gypsy

Spanish. 2-4 p.m., KNUI 900 AM.

Lahaina, 661-0700.

2435 Ka`anapali Pkwy, Building J, 661-4495.

Pacific; 7 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 22, 2008

31


DA KINECALENDAR

BY JESSICA ARMSTRONG CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

South Shore Tiki Lounge - Thu, Sun, Tue, Tony;

Moana

Bakery - Wed, Benoit

Lagoon Bar - Nightly, Hula dancing during sets.

■ THE SHOPS AT WAILEA

Fri, Eclipse; Sat, Erin Smith; Mon, Kanoa; Wed,

Jazzworks; Thu Mark Johnstone, Fri, Classic

Thu, Mon, Tue, Bobby and Ralph; Fri, Ralph and

3750 Wailea Alanui

Kenny Roberts. All sets 4-6 p.m. 1913 Kihei Rd.,

Hawaiian with Jocelyn, all sets 6:30-8:30. Sat, Live

Allan; Sat, Sun, Fausto and Kawaika; Wed, Nathan

East Wing - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Marti Kluth.

Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444.

jazz music with Mark Johnstone & Friends, 12:30 -

and Ralph. All sets 6-8 p.m. Torchlighting and cliff

Lower Courtyard - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Jamie

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café - Sun, Mon,

2:30 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

diving ceremony at sunset nightly.

Lawerence and Friends.

■ THE WESTIN MAUI HOTEL

■ WAILEA MARRIOTT

Brittany; Wed, Sat, Merv Oana Thu; Fri Margie; Tue Jamie Lawrence. All sets 6-10 p.m. The Shops at

Cafe

RESORT SHOWS

Ho; Fri, Kaleo Cullen; Sat, Louise Lambert; Sun,

2259 S. Kihei Rd., 874-6284.

CENTRAL MAUI AK’s Cafe - Fri, Ron Kuala’au. 6:15 p.m. , Sat Tarvin Makai 6:15 p.m.1237 L. Main St, Wailuku,

244-8774.

Ono Bar & Grille - Thu, Sat, Steve Sargenti; Fri,

■ HYATT REGENCY MAUI RESORT & SPA

Larry Golis; Sun, Margie Heart; Mon, Ernest Puaa;

200 Nohea Kai Dr, Lahaina, 661-1234

Tue, Brian Haia; Wed, Pam Peterson. Tue-Sun

Weeping Banyan Lounge - Nightly, Live music.

Sunset Terrace - Wed, Thu, Bobby Krueger; Fri, Mahalo Greg; Sat, Rama Camarillo; Sun, Mondo

Mon, Marvin Tevaga; Sun, Josh Kahula; Tue, Ernest

Kane; Mon, Tue, Lono. All sets 6-9 p.m.

■ KAANAPALI BEACH CLUB

Pua`a. Early sets 3-6 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Fri,

■ MAUI PRINCE HOTEL

104 Ka`anapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000

Wed, Benny Uyetake; Sat, Tue, Mitch Kepa; Sun,

5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111

Steve Sargenti; Mon, Josh Kahula. Late sets 6-9

Molokini Lounge - Mon, Wed, Fri, Sat, Mele

p.m.

`Ohana Duo. Tue, Thu Ron Kuala’au; Sun-Thu sets 6-

Ohana Bar & Grill - Wed, Thu, Live music; Fri,

Mic Night. 7:30 p.m. 28 N. Market St., Wailuku,

ceremony nightly.

244-0852.

■ KA`ANAPALI BEACH HOTEL

Main Street Bistro - Th-Fri, Rhythm & Blues

2525 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0011 Kupanaha - Nightly, Hula show, 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Wailuku, 244-6816.

9 p.m.; Fri, Sat sets 6-10 p.m. Sun, Mele `Ohana

SOUTH MAUI

Duo, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Mon, Wed, Fri, Hula perform-

■ FOUR SEASONS RESORT WAILEA

Lobby Lounge - (Early sets) Thu, Steve Repollo

EAST MAUI

and Alan Villeran; Sat, Mon, Island Style Trio with

■ HOTEL HANA-MAUI

hula dancing. Early sets 5:30-7:30 p.m. (Followed

Sun, Hula show. All sets 6:30 p.m.

by) Thu, Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson; Fri, Clay

5900 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Napili, 669-1500

Paniolo Lounge - Thu-Sun, Live music. 6:30-9:30 p.m.

and Anastasia; Sun, Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria;

Main Dining Room - Thu, Sun, Hula dancing.

Wed, Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata. Late sets

7:30-8:15 p.m.

Thu, Kincaid and Albert; Fri, Sat, Mon, Tue, Kincaid

8:30-11:30 p.m. Torchlighting ceremony nightly.

Tom Conway and Randall Rospond. Sat, Live

Basques; Sun, Kapule Paoa; Wed, Albert Kaina. All

■ GRAND WAILEA RESORT HOTEL & SPA

music. All sets 6-9 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd, Haiku

sets 7-9 p.m.

3850 Wailea Alanui, 875-1234

Cannery, 575-2661.

■ ROYAL LAHAINA RESORT

Botero Bar - Wed, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music.

Jacque’s - Mon, Live Jazz. 5 p.m. 120 Hana Hwy,

2780 Keka`a Dr., Ka`anapali, 661-3611

Humuhumunukunukuapua`a - Nightly, 5:30

Paia, 579-8844.

Royal Ocean Terrace - Thu, Fri, Sat, Live

p.m., Strolling Hawaiian Duo.

Morning Glories Organic Internet Cafe -

Hawaiian. 6-8 p.m.

■ THE FAIRMONT KEA LANI MAUI

Fri, Elaine Ryan, 3-4 p.m.; Mon, Karen B, 1-2

■ SHERATON MAUI HOTEL

4100 Wailea Alanui, 875-4100

p.m.137 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-6009.

2605 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0031

Lobby Bar - Nightly, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music.

COME DO WN TO MOOSE’S S FOR THE BEST SEATS IN NT LOTS OHE HOUSE

OF TV’S

&

THE BEST

HAPPY HO UR IN N TOWN!

CATCH THE NBA PLAYOFFS!

844 FRONT ST., LAHAINA • 667-7758 2511 S. KIHEI RD., KIHEI • 891-8600

MAY 22, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Hana, 248-8211

Mortensen and George Tavoularis; Sat, Mon, Nils

Hana Hou Cafe - Thu, Haiku Hillbillys; Wed,

32

ance, 6-6:45 p.m.

3900 Wailea Alanui, 874-8000

Tiki Courtyard - Nightly, Alanui with Uncle Rudi;

■ NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT

UPCOUNTRY MAUI

3550 Wailea Alanui, 879-4900 shows, 6-9 p.m. Mon, 5:30-9 p.m.

nightly.

Ernest Pua`a. All sets 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting

Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744.

■ RENAISSANCE WAILEA BEACH RESORT

Tropica - (Early sets) Thu, Wed, Brian Haia; Fri, Sat,

Café Marc Aurel - Tue, Live Music; Mon, Open

Sushi Go - Wed, Live music. 4-8 p.m. Queen

Mele Mele Lounge - Nighly, Live music. 9-11 p.m.

All sets 6:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony

Patrick Major; Sun, Wayne and Friends; Mon, Tue,

with Freedom. 5-7:30 p.m.. 2051 Main St.,

Kumu Bar & Grill - Nightly, Hula dancing. 6-9 p.m.

WEST MAUI

Mon, Kenny Roberts; Tue, Ramen & Cora; Wed, Keoki Ruiz. All sets 6-9 p.m. The Maui Coast Hotel,

3700 Wailea Alanui, 879-1922

2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525

Wailea, 875-9983. Tradewinds Poolside Cafe - Thu, Kawika Lum

&

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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33


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No phone calls please OUTDOOR YOUTH COUNSELOR Come make a difference working in the great outdoors. Immediate openings at Eckerd outdoor therapeutic programs in NC, TN, GA, FL, VT, NH and RI. Year-round residential position, free room & board, competitive salary/benefits. Info and apply online: www.eckerdyouth.org. Or fax resume to Career Advisor/AN, 727-442-5911. EOE/DFWP (AAN CAN) $ MODELS WANTED $ For magazine print work. $250$900. Ages 18 to 35. 573-3712 KAHUNA KABOBS-LAHAINA Come and be a part of a great team! Now hiring for: Cooks, Prep/Cashier, FT/PT, apply in person at 126 Lahainaluna Road or call 661-9999 DATA ENTRY PROCESSORS NEEDED! Earn $3,500-$5,000 Weekly Working

34

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YOUR CLASSIFIED AD printed in more than 100 alternative papers like this one for just $1,200.00! To run your ad in papers with a total circulation exceeding 6 SERVICES million copies per week, call the Association of Alternative CONSTRUCTION WOES NOT! Newsweeklies at 808-264-8039. Contractors & Consumers No adult ads. (AAN CAN) Handbook. Clearly-written, simpleto-use, for homeowners/contracFREE AND ANONYMOUS HIV tors. By attorney with 50+ years TESTING OFFERED THROUGH experience in California construction law. Preview: YOUR HAWAII DEPARTMENT OF h tt p : / / w w w. L u l u . c o m , HEALTH Search:1973688 (AAN CAN) Kihei-Mondays at Keolahou Church 11am-2pm. Wailuku-Monday thru Tursday at Wailuku Health Center 8:30 am-12pm. Paia-Wednesdays SILVERHAWK HANDYMAN at Paia Community Center

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HELP WANTED 400 HANA HWY • KAHULUI Hostess AM / PM No experience necessary. Food Servers AM / PM CARS - FOREIGN Experienced only. Ask for “Lucky” 1977 MERCEDES 450 SL between 9am and 6pm daily Lahaina Store Grille and Oyster Bar Convertible with hard top. Clean. New tires. $5,300 or best offer. 744 Front Street (808) 661-9090 SLEEP IN with SHAKA DIVERS! Call 244-0161 or 242-1350 Daily SCUBA Diving Tours at 9am, 2pm, and 6pm. (11am on Weekends!) Hit ‘snooze’ and call (808) 250-1234. Beginners Welcomed. Diving with ‘Shaka~Doug’ is Shakarific! HELP WANTED www.shakadivers.com Earn Extra income assembling CD Looking For: cases from Home. Start Line Cooks & Front of Immediately. No Experience the House Employees Necessary. 1-800-405-7619 ext.150 ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE Apply in person h tt p : / / w w w. e a s y wo r k from home. *Medical *Business 889 Front St. Lahaina greatpay.com (AAN CAN) *Paralegal, *Computers, *Criminal

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ALL AREAS - ROOMMATE.COM Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the know that we try to screen most of mouse! Visit: our ads. We read back the ad copy www.Roommates.com (AAN CAN) to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If VACATION you see the acronym (AAN CAN) RENTALS that ad is a national ad and was not CLEAN, AFFORDABLE submitted directly to us. If you have a question directly concern- Accommodations in our vacation ing AAN CAN, please check out rental from $69 per day. Call Toll Free Wailuku Guesthouse 877-986aancan.org 8270 or www.wailukuhouse.com PREGNANT? CONSIDERING

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AD DEADLINE MONDAY 4PM TO ADVERTISE Call 244.0777 FAX NUMBER 808.244.0446 EMAIL classifieds@mauitime.com WEBSITE www.mauitime.com MAILING 33 N. Market St. Ste. 201 Wailuku, HI 96793 DROP OFF 33 N. Market St. Ste. 201, Wailuku

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GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) Keep your head and heart in separate rooms, so you can only hang out with one at a time. They’ll each be telling you such different things that being subject to both their influences simultaneously would only make you confused, bewildered, and ill. Your brain’s loud instructions about what your heart ought to want could easily drown out your actual desires. It sucks to find out that you didn’t really want something after you get it. You might as well order up a round of hurt feelings for everyone, on the house! Or, you could just make sure neither head nor heart has the chance to override the other, but instead you do your best to heed both—separately.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) Think through all the ramifications of the move you want to make. It’s more complicated than it at first appears. It doesn’t matter how “right” the decision feels, if it turns out you lack the skills or resources to carry it off properly. Take it five or ten steps further inside your head. What will you want or need to happen after that? Some aspects of your wishes will require luck, but as for the others, you should be able to accurately predict what you can or can’t do yourself. Make sure those jobs will get done and figure out who’ll do them—before you make the leap.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) It’s so easy for you to get swept up in the romance of a situation. Picture this: someone looks deeply into your eyes and says, “Let’s hold hands and jump off this cliff together. A leap of faith!” There’s a part of you that’s likely to find that very compelling, simply because it’s so dramatic and romantic. Even if you never thought of this person that way before, you could take them up on their suggestion, swept away by the romance of the situation. Just remember, before you leap: when the rush of the experience is over, you may look longingly at the high place you just sprang from. It could look a lot better than the person standing next to you down here at the bottom—and by the time you realize that, it may already be too late.

BOTOX

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) Although you think you’re speaking in plain, unequivocal terms, most of those you’re addressing are privately confused. Whose side are you on? What are you really thinking? What do you want to happen here? We all want to help you, but we need more direction. I think your lack of clarity is coming from a desire not to ruffle feathers, hurt feelings, or be a bitch. But since you’re more or less the leader in this particular situation, chances are you’ll have to do all three. Suck it up and get the job done, already.

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I tend to have strong opinions about virtually everything. Like you, I can see both sides of whatever issue I’m facing, but according to my perception, one side is usually clearly wrong. You’d probably never see it that way. I appreciate your willingness to consistently straddle a fence that surely can’t be comfortable, and your ability to truly want to be on everyone’s side. Unfortunately, that’s not possible here. Both sides will soon start throwing lassoes and rocks. The push and pull will make your balancing act painful and impossible. Pick a side, fast, so you have somewhere to hide when the shit starts to fly.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) There’s no need to go down with a ship that’s determined to sink. You’ve tried everything you could to steer it in a different direction. You’ve hollered at people, tried tricky navigational manipulations, and protested in every way you could. If everyone else involved is unwilling or unable to change their heading after all that, I’d bail out now, if I were you. They may know something you don’t, or simply have a different agenda than you do, or they could simply be self-destructive idiots. Whatever the case, you don’t have to be in the same boat with them, especially since there’s another ship passing by right about now. Don’t let it sail away with just a wave. Grab a lifejacket and hop on board.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) It may feel like some of the other people involved are dragging their feet, but try to be patient anyway. There are a lot of things happening behind the scenes which you’re not privy to. That’s a good thing, because those dealing with them are far better equipped than you are to get the results you want. However, that takes time, and your impatient nagging and constant questions won’t make things go any faster. So chill out! Find ways to distract yourself, and practice trusting others to get the job done. If you do, they will.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)

– – “Na– ‘Oiwi ‘Olino – People Seeking Wisdom” 6:30a.m. – 9a.m. weekday mornings on

– – “Na– ‘Oiwi ‘Olino – People Seeking Wisdom” is a morning drive-time radio program presented by the Office of Hawaiian Affairs, with hosts Brickwood Galuteria and Kimo Kaho‘a–no.

• • • •

There’s always going to be someone who knows more, has more experience, or is simply better. There’s no need to feel outclassed or unable to get the job done, though, because there’s an alternative: enlist their aid. This is a great week to get the help you need to really excel. It might be as simple as just asking for it, or it may involve a bit more bargaining. Regardless, don’t be foolishly self-reliant when you’ve got someone great who’ll chip in. All you have to do is ask them the right way or give them the right thing, and they’ll get the job done far better than you ever could—which, of course, will actually make you look very good.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) Some things come so easily to you that you excel at them without even trying. Thus when you encounter something you can’t do with one eye closed and both hands tied behind your back, you actually struggle more than most, because you’re not used to having to work so hard. This is one of those times. The task you’re attempting isn’t actually so difficult; it’s just much more of a challenge than anything you’ve been up to lately. You may have to roll up your sleeves and break a sweat here. Don’t freak out; this task is well within the limits of what you’re capable of; it’s just a lot closer to them than anything you’ve done in a long, long time.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)

The Best of – – Na– ‘Oiwi ‘Olino 9:00a.m. – 10a.m. Sunday mornings on

Community guests Classic Hawaiian music Hawaiian news and issues OHA programs and updates Empowering Hawaiians, Strengthening Hawai‘i

Laziness, reluctance to be embarrassed, and excessive caution are your worst enemies right now. You can pretend there are outside factors, but really you’re the only one holding you back right now. There’s no easy, perfectly safe way to get what you want. You quite simply have to go out on a limb, and make some real effort. You need to risk humiliation and to try with all your might. Anything less and you might as well just give up and go home. Do that, though, and don’t expect to ever be invited back. Chances are you’d get the door slammed in your face the next time you came around.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Keep a cool head. Your most stupid and embarrassing moments happen when you let anger get the best of you. I love that you have such passion that compels you to do ridiculous things, but at the same time, blindly riding your wild emotions towards some crazy action won’t take you anywhere good. On the other hand, being too reserved won’t serve you well, either, since people will be convinced that you don’t really give a shit. A middle road between the two is the route to victory. That’s tricky territory for you Rams to discover and navigate, I know, but try and find your way there, anyway.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) Notice how much you’re complaining this week. Don’t bother assessing whether you have valid reasons to complain (you do), but simply look at how much you’re kvetching. At some point, it doesn’t matter how legitimate your beefs are. If people are sick of hearing you gripe about them, your complaints are likely to have more of a negative impact on your life than anything else. Bite your tongue when things are less than ideal. That’s likely to frequently be the case this week; your only real option, though, is to simply suck it up and deal.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 22, 2008

37


RESTLESSNATIVE

BY STARR BEGLEY STARR@MAUITIME.COM

Everything I Need to Know I Learned on The Ed & Greg Show

Publishes:

July 17th The votes are in, and being counted. Soon, the WINNERS will be revealed! Look in next week’s issue for more details!

Unless I totally suck at math–actually I kind of do–this past Monday has marked my 10th month on Wild 105.5’s The Ed & Greg Show. In my humble and biased opinion, The Ed & Greg Show is the best damn morning show on the island. Wild 105.5 is an independently run station in no way affiliated with the giant Pacific Radio Group. Not that I don’t listen to PRG stations, because I do. In fact, if I were a dude, I’m pretty sure that I’d have a thing for Nikki D, who is totally awesome and should really come over one night to play cards and eat boiled peanuts. By the way, Nikki, you need to team up with your co-host Mackie and impose a hostile takeover against Trance. What is this, the Yakuza? Strength in numbers, girlfriend, strength in numbers. But when the Zoo Crew is busy pushing lawnmowers up Dairy Road, pretending to be homosexual Indians, making Nikki wear a bikini in the freezing cold or dressing Mackie in an elf costume, we on The Ed and Greg Show are busy talking about real Maui issues like skanky first graders, drug addled parents, using Photoshop to make your kids cuter than they are, hunting ghosts in Waikapu, why it’s better to let your teenage daughter get pregnant rather than hand her a condom, gambling and why I love it, why we’re cool with Kendall Grove admitting to smoking pot and being a role-model to our kids, how neither Ed or Greg has ever smoked a bowl in their life, the difference between a “moke” and a “local,” boobs–small boobs, big boobs, saggy boobs, fake boobs, pierced boobs–how to purchase a butt-plug for your husband, the environment, politics, what a narrow-minded conservative Greg is, how ignorant I am, how it’s humanly possibly for Ed to be such a complete arse when it comes to MMA fighting, how unfortunate it is that men who kick off their slippers and shout, “What faka, like go?” in parking lots turn me on, the rise and fall of the stripper pole in my house, how it makes me homicidal and pissy to be called “girly girl,” wrestling and how fake-yet-awesome it is, haoles, how Oprah is definitely the anti-Christ and how Google is planning world domination. On my very first segment (I appear on the show every Monday at 10 a.m.), I was scared out of my mind. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I suffered intestinal upset from the stress. To make matters worse, Ed and Greg immediately went off on Holoholo Girl (my supervisor at the time)–who was listening to the show. I totally got busted for it when I got back to the office. But I’ve kept going back week after week and I think that the three of us have gelled and bounce insults off of each other quite nicely. Either that or I’ve just gotten used to making an ass of myself on air. Probably the latter. Starr Begley just went and upset everybody again. MTW

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MAY 22, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY


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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAY 22, 2008

39


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Paid 350,000 - NOW

$299,000

Southpointe 2Bd /1.5Ba ONLY $265,000

Josh Jerman, Broker

283-2222 Century 21 All Islands www.joshjerman.com

MON-SAT 10AM-7PM, SUN 12-6PM

“Professional, Responsible Lending w/ Low Rates & Honest Service” • FHA loans up to 97% • Waikapu Gardens Purchase/Refinance 100% fixed w/ No MI • Construction & Land • NO COST HELOC’s CALL TODAY

872-1161

S top in for a F RE E s a mple !

$10.00 OFF HAIR COLOR!

Kihei Bay Surf Studio

• all natural • locally made on maui • non-dairy • sugar-free flavors

122 KIO LOOP • KIHEI • 268-4769

days a week

Paid 240,000 - NOW

The coolest new frozen treat on maui

coming soon to the Queen Kaahumanu Center

www.morphicdesigns.com

MAUI’S BEST REAL ESTATE VALUES!

Models Needed

Pro photographer needs models for fitness, lifestyle and artistic work. Up to $50 per hour depending on experience. E-mail photo and contact info to ron@ronchapple.com. Or mail photo to RC Studios, PO Box 1758, Kihei, HI 96753. Call (808) 874-5755. CHOLESTEROL AND FAT-FREE ICE CREAM ALTERNATIVE

CUSTOM JEWELRY completely handmade on Maui

$$CASH-IN ON THE HOT HAWAII MOBILE MECHANIC Clint’s Car & Truck Repair, ASE Certified Master REAL ESTATE MARKET$$ Mechanic, Free Estimates, Call 250-4491 seven

Kihei and Wailuku locations. Prices from $184,00 and up. Contact Josh Jerman, Broker 808-283-2222. Century 21 All Islands

Air Maui Helicopter Tours

Call Brad @ 283-3260 or Tommy @ 283-0512

• Scheduled Maintenance to Major Overhauls • Towing • Factory & Extended Warranty Service • Custom & Performance Products & Installation • Collision Repair • Restorations • Detailing • Tires • Wheels • Mufflers • Batteries • Air Conditioning Computer & Electronic Diagnostics

HIGH VISIBILITY! LOW COSTS! BACK SIDE CLASSIFIEDS WORK!

On The UPside with TERI

For advertising rates & information:

661- 8788

265 W. KAAHUMANU AVE., SUITE 201, KAHULUI, HI 96732 (BY MACY’S)

Stop Wishin’ & Go Fishin’ 42 ft. Bertram Sportfishers Catch a 500+lb Marlin & your trip is (16 caught in 2006)

FREE (808)

222 Papalaua St., #130 • Lahaina

(across the street from McDonald’s)

NOW DOING HENNA

SPORTFISHING

amanda.mori@homestreet.com

667-2774

Toll Free 1-800-590-0133


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