Dealing With Self Worth and How to Increase It

DEALING WITH SELF WORTH AND HOW TO INCREASE IT

Self-worth begins at a very young age. If you have ever observed a toddler, you will have noticed how they jump, make noises and scream; all without any fear of judgment. They seem to give little attention to the clothes they are wearing, the style of their hair, and even to who are watching them. Children, simply, have not developed the notion that they are being judged by others. As these toddlers grow, they start to become aware of what society expects them to be.

The beginning of school encourages children to be like each other. Sitting in the same chairs that are at the same desks, learning the same lessons and writing the same tests with the same pencils; at this age little to no individuality is promoted. This is the starting point to where these children begin to understand the “importance” of how society expects each and every one of them to act, think and behave. As children grow up and begin high school, being like everyone else becomes a necessity. They begin to wear the same clothes, the same shoes, and even speak in the same slang as their peers.

Growing up children are consistently reminded as to “what is and what is not acceptable.” This is when their self-worth becomes tainted, should these individuals not fit into any/all of the categories that their culture/society expects of them. Judgment is developed and insults, abuse or bullying can begin. If repeated enough times, the unsupportive and sometimes offensive messages received from others, subconsciously transmutes itself into our own personal, and sometimes limiting, beliefs.

(Should we repeat something to ourselves, whether it be good or bad, an adequate amount of times, our brain picks up on these signals and is programed to believe it. This is why affirmations and incantations have worked so well for so many people.)

In my opinion, today’s standards of self worth and popularity have drastically changed from those expected in the past 10 years. Before we had things like Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, people would develop a sense of significance or popularity on the number of friends they had, how many phone numbers they had saved, or how many people would talk to them. Many teens today base their popularity on how many friends they have on their social media lists, how many followers they have and even how many “likes” their status updates get.

Should one week they get 100 “likes” on a status, they feel a great sense of recognition or importance but if the next week they end up with 40, their sense of purpose and significance drastically decreases. Teens can then develop a great sense of insecurity and begin to feel self-conscious, worthless and sometimes even depressed.

In order to counter act these negative feelings, people may turn to alcohol or drugs to mask their pain, while some may even begin to induce self-harm in different forms. Their limiting beliefs begin to take over and they begin saying things to themselves such as, “I’m useless, I’m over weight, I’m irresponsible, I’ll never succeed, I’m worthless…” etc. Approaching adulthood, those whom HAVE THE POTENTIAL of going into business for themselves and succeeding, creating the enterprise they have dreamt of, or obtaining that position they’ve always wanted, will be held back if they have a lack of self-confidence. Imagine how many more Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg’s or Warren Buffets there would be if only people had the confidence to create a vision, take action and follow through with it. Low self-worth can literally destroy a life, while the opposite is also true. Someone having a high sense of self-worth can achieve their vision and create the life of their dreams. (While there are many other factors that play a role in our own personal success, self-worth, in my opinion is ranked the highest in terms of importance.)

There is no quick cure for low self-esteem, it is something that needs to be consistently developed and worked on over a period of time. Think of a grand piano that is out of tune. You call a repairman to re-tune your piano and when he is finished, he tells you that he has to return next week again to re-tune your piano. How is this possible? He just finished re-tuning! Being a new piano owner, what you do not realize is that the strings on the piano have been stretched in the wrong direction under the wrong tension for so long that they have conditioned themselves in a way in which they will go back to their original positioning. It is only after a few visits from the

Being around people who are supportive and positive is a great way to increase self worth. As mentioned earlier, repetitive insults can cause an individual to believe them to be true. Using the same method, only in a positive way, hearing compliments and other supportive mantras, can help one in forming new positive beliefs about themselves. If someone does give a compliment, make sure to accept it by saying “thank you.” Accepting a compliment is a form of accepting that particular opinion or view about you, and seeing the truth behind it.

Daily exercise and healthy eating are other great examples of increasing self-worth. The body and mind are interconnected and after exercise a sense of empowerment is felt and can increase ones mood. Making better choices with food intake can also provide the energy needed to help one feel great and be the best possible version of themselves. Even something as simple as physically smiling can help with self-worth; it increases the blood flow to the brain and can also increase ones attitude.

Keeping a list of your accomplishments and positive qualities is a great tool to increase your self worth. Whether someone is a great poet, storyteller, business person, or artist, write down what you are good at and keep the list. Anytime you feel uncertainty in yourself or your work, the list will always be there to give a sense of reassurance and increase your self-confidence.

Exploring a passion or a hobby can certainly increase self worth. When an individual does something that they enjoy and feel passionately about, they can surely develop a sense of purpose or significance, thus increasing their feelings of worth.

Regardless of the path you choose to increase self-worth, it is still something that needs to be cared for, reconditioned, and built upon every so often. The world’s expectations are constantly changing at an incredible speed. If you are feeling inferior, inadequate or fearful of others opinions, take the time to re-evaluate yourself and understand the importance of working and living at your peak performance because you are worth it!

By_ John Ferrara