McGill Tribune Vol. 32 Issue 25

TRIBUNal

Volume No. 32 Joke Issue

Published by the Tribune Publication Society

curiosity killed the cat

Feature William Shatner suing over use of his name for the SSMU Building pg 16

opinion ssmu exec should have been elected by papal conclave pg 10

@mcgill_tribune ­ • www. mcgilltribune.com ­

Wednesday, March 33, 2013

IN E R E H D L w R O W R E U TH TH

R A IS RTER? PO

Look for me in the Tribune!

Illustration by Ben Ko

HMB STAYING AT McGILL

Munroe-Blossom crowns herself Queen of McGill; university to reconnect with monarchical roots Andrea Kernavavsksis Chief Propagandist of the Realm Early on Easter Sunday, the McGill Community received an MRO from Principal Helga Monroe-Blossom, announcing that, instead of leaving at the end of the year, she will remain at McGill, and will take her new title as Queen

of the Downtown and Macdonald Campuses, effective immediately.

This announcement took many people at McGill—now known as “subjects”—by surprise, with many questioning the legality and sanity of the decision.

Jim Carrey has been announced as court jester. Rumour has it that McGill could not afford a more re-

leveant comedian to take this role, but has emphasized the fact that he is Canadian, which, to Canadians, is important.

“It’s a role I am excited to begin,” Carrey said. “I know the portfolio well, and I think I can bring some entertainment to our new Queen, and whoever she decides to invite to the Castle. It’s al-

ways a party in James Admin.”

“I think this is all great,” History Professor Henry Tudor, who specializes in the British monarchy, said. “It’s about time monarchies made a comeback. They really can be effective in getting things done.

Plus, who doesn’t love having a Queen to bow down to? She could also be an enlightened monarch…

that is always a possibility.”

“A lot of people don’t realize McGill’s monarchist roots,” Tudor continued. “This is simply a revival of a tradition that’s been around for a while. I mean, there is a statue of Queen Victoria outside the Schulich Music Building, for Pete’s sake.

This is where the campus has been heading for a while.”

LIES

local ssmews

McGill to be moved to Ontario

Lasers, magnets, and helicopters to be used in massive airlift operation Ahndra Cernavvssquis Gossip Editor McGill’s Board of Governors has annouced that it has decided to airlift both the downtown and Macdonald campuses in their entirety to Ontario. This decision comes after an eventful year which saw the Quebec student movement, governmentenforced budget cuts, and many clear signs that Quebec hates McGill, according to Provost Manthony Smashi.

The project will take a total of three days, and will occur over the summer so as to lessen the impact on students and faculty. Very strong magnets will be placed around campus, and a section of the land beneath campus will be laser-treated so that it can be lifted all at once. A total of 49, 700 helium balloons with

McGill administration tired of dealing with PQ government. attached magnets will then lift McGill right off the ground and travel across the Ontario-Quebec border to Cornwall.

This move, while expensive, will be worth it in the end, according

RANT The Leacock Building

what people from Ontario pay for school in their province. Also, we will be adopted into the OUAC system, which is very exciting.”

A group of Fashion and Artsconscious female McGill students

How to survive a campus Nobody asked me if I wanted to be restructured

Exclusive autobiographic commentary

The administration’s recent announcement of its plans to restructure the Leacock Building frankly took me by surprise for a number of reasons. The Faculty of Arts had existed—even thrived—in a distinct departmental format for years, and until now this has never been an issue. Additionally, the school’s current economic troubles might not be the best context in which to undertake a costly renovation such as this. Most importantly, however, a project team of 75 people reached a collective decision to tear out and rearrange my insides, and I had to learn about it from the McGill Reporter.

This lack of consultation on the administration’s part is entirely typical of the 48 years I’ve been at McGill. Even when a consultation process is attempted, those most directly affected never seem to be actually involved—I didn’t receive any invitation to the Town Hall that was apparently held in the Redpath Museum. I mean, it’s right next

to Vice-Admiral Marcel the Shell.

“No one in Ontario complains about tuition, and they pay so much more,” the gender-neutral Shell explained. “McGill could do so much more financially if everyone paid

from Toronto have been protesting this proposal.

“I came to McGill mostly to be in downtown Montreal,” said Barbie McKen. “I don’t want to go to Cornwall. What’s in Cornwall? I’ll have to transfer to the University of Toronto and live at home if this goes through. McGill loses a lot of its appeal if it isn’t in Montreal.”

Quebecois students have also been protesting, but for different reasons.

“What is going on?!” asked Jean-Pierre Charbonneau. “This is madness! Are they seriously thinking of doing this? Do I seriously need to give you reasons as to why McGill should stay in Montreal?

Why was no one consulted on this matter?!”

door. I would have at least stopped by.

Furthermore, it’s no secret that buildings face widespread discrimination at McGill; in fact, our voices are often ignored entirely. This restructuring plan is only the tip of the iceberg. During this term alone, the Bronfman Building went on strike, the McIntyre Medical Building submitted multiple requests to be moved closer to campus, and the Burnside basement suffered a severe allergic reaction to a samosa.

Nobody noticed.

Despite all these complaints, the truth is that I don’t even oppose the restructuring. In fact, let’s go even further and rebuild me from scratch. I’m under no illusions—I’m a pretty ugly building that makes very poor use of floor space. My elevators are slow. Many a student have lost the will to live in my second-floor conference rooms. Rather than restructuring my upper floors, let’s make the responsible choice, and get rid of me altogether.

By Sugar Baby Galbraith Studying at McGill carries its own special set of risks: getting ambushed by ‘Yes!’ committees, out-of-control hipster cyclists, lung cancer due caused by much time spent on the McLennan Terrace, and the judgmental stares from every occupant of Blackadder. As a community, we weathered last October’s Post-tropical cyclone Sandy, and Hurricane Irene in August of 2011, which threatened both 4Floors and Frosh respectively, but we have come out stronger because of it.

But, on January 28th, mother nature (or the McTavish Reservoir) threatened the one thing McGill students hold most dear: Activities night.

Chaos spread across campus as students realized they would not be able to enter the SSMU building, or cross McTavish at all. Flooding on University Street further exacerbated the situation, leaving students stuck between trying to cross through the large volumes of rushing water or staying in Schulich. The SSMU exec, led by fearless leader Tosh 3.0—later recognized with the prestigious crimson access card for his efforts to save ‘Flood Girl’—took exemplary control of Shatner, but we’re forced to wonder: should this tragedy arise again, what would we do differently?

Here’s a short but sweet list of fool-

flood

proof ways to survive the next campus flood—because we all know there will be one.

First, keep your backpack well-stocked with a supply kit at all times. This should include at least 10 garbage bags (they’re versatile), enough food to last you 48 hours (your meal plan dollars will forsake you if you’re not able to get to the Redpath basement), and an iPhone charger (let’s be honest, your smartphone can take care of anything else you might need).

Second, keep your kayak readily available, should you need to partake in a rescue mission, or simply wish to survey the situation without getting soaked. When life gives you broken water mains, make use of your unnecessary leisure equipment.

Finally, if you can, find an engineer to be your flood buddy. During the last flood, engineers built an actual, functional dam outside of McConnell! Barter your spare garbage bags for inclusion in whatever the engineers are doing, and I promise you’ll be fine.

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Volume No. 32 Issue No. 25

TRIBUNE THE mcgill

Published by the Tribune Publication Society

feature sugar daddies p 12

curiosity delivers

movie review spring breakers fails to impress p 16

@mcgill_tribune ­ • www. mcgilltribune.com ­

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Battle of the profs: To divest or not to divest?

P5

Hundreds of students attended Battle of the Profs, which featured six professors. (Simon Poitrimolt / McGill Tribune)

McGill announces salary and hiring freezes

Direct action to address government budget cuts begins; other measures include a voluntary retirement program Bea Britneff News Editor On Mar. 26, McGill Principal Heather Munroe-Blum released an email to the McGill community detailing the first measures that the university will take to address the Quebec government’s recent cuts to its operating budget. Among the measures were salary and hiring freezes, a reduction in the operating budgets of senior administrators’ portfolios, and a voluntary retirement program.

According to the MRO, McGill is seeking to cut back approximately $43 million—in response to the Parti Québécois’ (PQ) cancellation

of the former Liberal government’s tuition increase, as well as to the budget cuts—and is initially targeting salaries.

The email lists six cost-saving initiatives, three of which affect administrative and support staff: a hiring freeze, a temporary freeze on “special salary requests,” and a voluntary retirement program for staff aged 60 and over.

Both freezes went into effect on Apr. 2. The details of the voluntary retirement program were announced the same day.

Three other measures announced in the email will take effect on May 1, including a three per cent salary cut and salary freeze for

all senior administrators, a seven to nine per cent cut to “the operating budgets of the Vice-Principals’ portfolios and the Offices of the Principal and Provost,” and a one-year salary freeze for members of the McGill Association of University Teachers (MAUT).

In her email, Munroe-Blum explained that the administration also asked all of the other campus employee groups to accept a one-year salary freeze. MAUT is the only group that has agreed to this request so far.

In a memorandum released to its members on Mar. 25, representatives of the McGill University NonAcademic Certified Association

(MUNACA)—a union which represents 1,700 non-academic employees across campus—wrote that they had discussed the proposed one-year salary freeze at a Board of Representatives meeting, and that the Board voted to reject the McGill administration’s request. “[MUNACA’s] collective agreement remains intact and increases will be paid as scheduled in June 2013,” the memo reads.

MUNACA Vice-President Finance David Kalant told the Tribune that accepting a salary freeze would undermine MUNACA’s recent progress with regard to its agreement with the university.

“In our latest collective agree-

ment, MUNACA finally won the type of payroll scheme—the wage grid—that other Quebec universities have had for many, many years,” he said. “I would like to point out that taking a salary freeze when the cost of living always increases amounts to a de facto salary cut.”

Justin Marleau, vice-president of teaching assistants at the Association of Graduate Students Employed at McGill (AGSEM), also said that the teaching assistants’ unit of AGSEM “voted overwhelmingly” against a salary freeze.

Jaime MacLean, president of the Association of McGill UniverSee “Unions” on p. 2

The TPS Board of Directors is holding its Annual General Meeting Sunday April 21 at noon in Shatner 110.

All members of the TPS are welcome.

NEWS

Unions unsupportive of salary freezes Continued from cover sity Support Employees (AMUSE), said that AMUSE’s Board of Representatives is still reviewing the administration’s request, and will announce its decision by the end of this week. However, MacLean expressed concerns about the effects of such a freeze on AMUSE’s members.

“Our members … are the lowest wage earners at the university,” she said. “A wage freeze … would be especially difficult for [those] who are students—approximately 65 per cent of our membership—as tuition is scheduled to increase by 3

per cent this fall.”

Overall, the three unions’ representatives did not express much support for the administration’s current measures to address the budget cuts.

In particular, Marleau expressed concerns about the impact of the cuts on the quality of teaching at McGill.

“Spending on teaching assistants has not kept pace with increasing enrollment, exam invigilators are barely paid minimum wage, and cuts to course lecturers cannot help but impoverish course offerings,” he

said.

Marleau expressed the opinion that McGill should adopt a similar system to that of Université Laval.

The Quebec government had originally asked Laval to cut $36 million from its operating budget. However, the school has negotiated a plan in which it will make $3 million in cuts in 2013 and $6 million in 2014, with additional reductions to come from the government’s promised reinvestment into the university system.

Marleau said that AGSEM has been asked to meet with the admin-

istration again in April, however, the union has not yet confirmed its attendance.

Last Tuesday’s MRO notes that the university has also planned to implement “$7.5 million of suggested non-salary related cost-savings initiatives.”

McGill will implement its budget cuts in two phases, the first of which is comprised of the finalized measures detailed in the email. A second phase to the cuts, which the MRO says will likely include layoffs, will follow the first one detailed

in last week’s MRO. Kalant explained that although MUNACA members are protected by their collective agreement, those who are in the lowest 10 per cent of the seniority list do not have job security, and are therefore vulnerable to potential layoffs. MacLean and Marleau have expressed similar concerns over their members’ job security.

Campus

Faculty of Arts changes People, Processes, and Partnerships plan 688 Sherbrooke and Ferrier buildings to be addressed before Leacock; McGill community begins to respond positively Andra Cernavskis News Editor Early last week, Dean of the Faculty of Arts Christopher Manfredi announced changes to the plan known as People, Processes, and Partnerships (PPP). While the project was initially slated to restructure how space is used in the Leacock Building, followed by similar reconfiguration in 688 Sherbrooke and the Ferrier Building, Manfredi stated that the PPP project team will now focus its attention first on 688 Sherbrooke and Ferrier, “where solutions are likely to be less disruptive.”

In an email to ARTSMIN—a listserv that includes all faculty and staff in Arts—and an announcement on the PPP section of the McGill website, Manfredi wrote that the project team of over 75 people “will take a few steps back to review [the] issues, risks, constraints, and alternatives with respect to the Leacock Building—and the project overall—with a view toward presenting revised organizational and space scenarios while it continues its work on process mapping.”

Manfredi’s announcement follows a feedback process within the Faculty of Arts that included a Town Hall with faculty members.

At the Town Hall, held Monday Mar. 18, the project team presented two potential scenarios for a re-organized Leacock Building.

Both scenarios involved rearranging upwards of 50 offices within Leacock or to the McTavish row houses, as well as moving all departmental administrative officers (AOs) onto one floor, and converting the third floor of Leacock into a general administrative ‘welcome centre’ for students.

Criticisms of the plan expressed at the Arts Town Hall and the Mar. 20 Arts Undergraduate Society (AUS) Council meeting included the potential disruption to “soft knowledge” that could occur as a product of moving AOs out of their departments and cross-training them to handle students from a variety of departments.

Manfredi has explained that restructuring is necessary as a result of new university policies that were implemented in response to provincial laws, such as the Quebec government’s Bill 100, which requires that universities cut down on money spent on administrative staff.

Additionally, the new governmentimposed budget cuts prompted the university to offer a voluntary retirement program to those aged 60 and above—a category under which sev-

eral AOs in the Faculty of Arts fall.

In his email to ARTSMIN, Manfredi emphasized that the Faculty is taking action out of necessity.

“The project is aimed at meeting real challenges that we currently face and may face in the future, even if there is disagreement with solutions currently proposed,” he wrote.

AUS Vice-President (VP) Internal Justin Fletcher agreed that the Faculty needs to proactively address new realities, but expressed hope that the administration will continue to consult all those who will be affected by changes made to Arts space.

“I think the overall mission of the project People, Processes, and Partnerships is justified,” he said, citing Bill 100 and budget cuts as valid reasons for the project. “Should an [AO] leave a department, they may not have back-up, which can put much strain on a department, which could thus affect the student experience.”

“While I think the intentions of the project are good, I think more consultation needs to be done concerning the floor plan scenarios before proceeding with further aspects of the project,” Fletcher continued.

The AUS also hosted a Town Hall last night, at which Manfredi and two associate deans addressed

students’ continued concerns over the project’s consulation process and how the division of labour among different advisors will now exist.

VP Internal and Events of the History Students’ Association (HSA) Laure Spake, who was among those who spoke out against the initial plan to restructure Leacock at both the Arts Town Hall and AUS Council, expressed concerns that the new plan to first focus on 688 Sherbrooke and Ferrier may be just a semblance of compromise.

“We hope that the [PPP] project is announcing its step back and reevaluation in good faith, but so far we are not comfortable backing off and letting this issue slip under the radar,” Spake said.

Spake also noted that she was informed of the change through an email from fellow student Fletcher and not the Faculty.

Associate Professor of Political Science Jacob Levy, whose office is currently located in the Ferrier building, expressed optimism over the new direction the PPP is taking.

“It’s true that Arts/Ferrier is a lot easier to handle than Leacock— the complicated pieces of the Leacock puzzle are much less present here,” Levy said. “I’m expecting little disruption and the possibility of some improvement in our access

to administrative support over here.”

Manfredi said he personally received two direct responses to the changes, and that both were positive.

He also noted that two Faculty-wide listservs were notified right away of the changes following the initial announcement made at the Faculty Council on Mar. 26.

“We rely on these recipients to cascade the information out to those they represent, as the department of political science did,” Manfredi said. “I do not know if student members of Faculty Council who received the message forwarded it to their constituents, which is their responsibility.”

Scenarios for 688 Sherbrooke and the Ferrier building have not been completed and will be released as they become available, according to Manfredi. He also noted that the scenarios will incorporate longstanding plans unconnected to PPP, citing “the necessity of moving the language labs out of McLennan Library and into Ferrier, moving the French Language Centre to Ferrier to put it next to the language labs, moving [the] East Asian studies [department] to 688 Sherbrooke.”

Manfredi anticipates that 688 Sherbrooke will be re-arranged fully this summer and that the whole PPP will be completed by early 2014.

The Legal Information Clinic at McGill (LICM) is holding its Annual General Meeting on Friday, April 5th, at 3pm in the LICM office (Room 107 University Centre, 3480 McTavish).

All members are invited to attend (all fee-paying McGill undergraduate and graduate students are members of the LICM).

For more information, email pub.licm@mail.mcgill.ca. We hope to see you there!

Curiosity delivers. |

NEWS

| Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Campus

5

Students worried about employment opportunities at McGill Open discussion on budget cuts and tuition indexation focuses on how new university policies will affect unions Emma Windfeld News Editor 15 people attended an open conversation about McGill’s budget cuts and Quebec tuition indexation in the Lev Bukhman Room in the Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU) building on Mar. 26. The event was hosted by SSMU Vice-President External Robin ReidFraser, and many of those in attendance were elected student representatives to SSMU. SSMU President-Elect Katie Larson read an email from McGill Principal Heather Munroe-Blum, describing McGill’s “measures to address budget challenges,” which was sent moments before last Tuesday’s event began.

Jaime MacLean, president of the Association of McGill University Support Employees (AMUSE)— a labour union that represents half of McGill’s non-academic employees—expressed several concerns about the voluntary retirement pack-

age announced in Munroe-Blum’s email, which will be available to “administrative support staff aged 60 and over.”

“It’s really restrictive, because people need to give their answer [soon] and leave work by the end of August,” MacLean said. “From what I’ve heard, there are four to five hundred people who are eligible for that ... [and the administration is] planning for around 40 per cent of those staff to take it.”

Last Tuesday’s MRO also announced that the McGill Association of University Teachers (MAUT) agreed to a year-long salary freeze.

According to MacLean, professors have no real control over their own salary freezes. “[MAUT is not a union], so there’s nothing they can do to stop that,” MacLean said. “McGill professors are one of the last faculty groups in Canada to not have a union.”

Reid-Fraser suggested that the relationship between campus unions

and the McGill administration has been strained for some time.

“We just had the MUNACA strike [in Fall 2011], which I think raised the tension between [the] McGill administration and the unions,” she said. “There’s always been tension ... because of the way [the administration] treats unions in general, and their attempts to unionize.”

Reid-Fraser’s statement referred to the administration’s response to a move by the Association of Graduate Students Employed at McGill (AGSEM) to unionize course lecturers in Fall 2010, which included ordering pro-unionization posters to be removed from campus notice boards.

Another topic of discussion at the event was the fate of student jobs on campus.

A part-time McGill student and full-time employee at the McGill Bookstore, who asked to remain anonymous, commented on the Bookstore’s plan to shorten opening hours.

“We got an email [today] that the bookstore ... [which] used to be open nine to seven, Monday to Friday, now is going to be open nine to five,” the student said. “That really kills people’s availability .... Not being able to work three [o’clock] ‘til seven, or four ‘til seven, is going to really cut a lot of people. It’s a way of firing people without firing them.”

MacLean also expressed concern over the expected decrease in student employment opportunities on campus. “[Students] depend on getting a campus job, [and] there already aren’t that many of them,” she said.

“Not only are students losing jobs ... it’s [also] reducing access to services for students who need them.”

Larson suggested that McGill’s method of handling these issues might be creating conflict, instead of uniting different members of the McGill community, such as students, administration, faculty, and part-time employees.

“The way the university is approaching the problem is very prostudent,” Larson said. “What they’re trying to do is [please] students by saying, ‘We’re not cutting your classes, we’re cutting our staff.’”

“By doing that, [the administration seem to be] setting students apart from the staff, which … isn’t [effective], because there are many students who are also staff here at McGill,” Larson continued.

Reid-Fraser said she supports the idea of a united approach to budget cuts and tuition indexation, and sees the current situation as a chance to restructure McGill’s employment systems.

“Maybe this is a time to [not] be … thinking about all of these staff as one group taking a pay cut, but thinking about this as an interesting opportunity to have workers and students looking at this bureaucratic environment that they work and live in, and [determining] where are the places where this bureaucracy is bigger than it need to be,” she said.

Campus

Divest McGill and economics students host Battle of the Profs Six professors debate the pros and cons of McGill divesting from fossil fuels; event attracts full audience Cece Zhang Contributor On Mar. 26, professors from the Faculty of Management and the departments of economics, environment, and geography met in Leacock 232 to debate the idea of McGill’s divestment from fossil fuels.

The event, which was hosted by the Economics Students’ Association (ESA) and Divest McGill, attracted a large number of students; seating was filled to capacity and many attendees were standing.

Following an introduction from Divest McGill, three professors argued in favour of divestment, and three argued against.

Those who were in favour claimed it was immoral of McGill to invest in fossil fuels when global warming and climate change are such relevant problems.

“We misunderstand the concept of liberty in our political economy,” Peter Brown, a geography professor, said. “Once the carbon sinks are filled up, we have to re-examine the idea of liberty very fundamentally, because we can only exercise liberty within our fair share of resources and sinks.”

Holly Dressel, an adjunct professor from McGill’s School of Environment, argued that in divesting from fossil fuels, McGill would be fulfilling its mission to serve its stu-

Professors debate divestment from fossil fuels during an event hosted by ESA. (Simon Poitrimolt / McGill Tribune) dents and the community.

“We are in one of the rare institutions where we have a bit of wiggle room on [financial issues],” Dressel said. “We don’t have to be totally focused on economic details.

We are supposed to look at the social, ethical, and service results of what we do with both our money and our institution for students.”

However, the professors who spoke against divestment cautioned that the results of such an initiative are unpredictable.

“Good intentions don’t always produce intended outcomes,” Economics Professor Licun Xue said.

Another main source of concern on the anti-divestment side was the potential cost of divestment for McGill, which is facing the financial stress of government budget cuts. Christopher Ragan, an associate professor of economics, cited several improvements McGill could make with returns from its invest-

ments in fossil fuel companies, such as funding new courses, or creating new scholarships.

Jiro Kondo, an assistant professor in the Faculty of Management, argued that divestment would decrease the diversification of McGill’s investment portfolio.

In response, Dressel proposed that the diversification of investments be increased by re-investing fossil fuel funds in Green Revolving Funds, which could be used to improve energy efficiency on campus and to implement other environmentally sustainable initiatives. According to Dressel, this would yield approximately the same return as 28 to 35 per cent of fossil fuel investments.

The six professors also debated about the effectiveness of divestment. Ragan presented data showing that divestment on McGill’s part would not make a sizable impact on the oil industry.

“The proposed divestment by McGill, [and by] 200 like-sized institutions that we might influence, would represent 25 thousandths of the global market capitalization for oil,” he said. “This is worse than an empty gesture in that it costs something, and affects approximately nothing.”

Ragan proposed that instead of divestment, McGill should use the returns from investment to promote better initiatives to solve the economic, technological, and political problems in advertising sustainability that society faces today.

“Rather than giving away [the returns], let’s keep it, and spend it on doing good research,” he said. “McGill is, after all, about producing good ideas … let’s do what we’re good at.”

Dror Etzion, a professor in the Faculty of Management, disagreed with Ragan, declaring that the point of divestment was not to have a

direct financial impact on the fossil fuel industry, but rather to set a precedent.

“By divesting, McGill makes itself a force for democracy, sustainability, and a better future, which is what McGill believes in,” Etzion said. “It demonstrates McGill really sees itself as a community, which truly embraces participatory governance, and [is] especially student activated. Divestment presents itself as a learning opportunity .... If we don’t try, we’ll never know.”

Students’ Society of McGill University Sustainability Coordinator David Gray-Donald, who attended the debate, asked the six professors to pinpoint how students could get further involved in the conversation surrounding divestment. Following the event, Gray-Donald said he was disappointed that none of the professors provided a direct response to his question.

At the end of the debate, Dressel commended student members of Divest McGill for starting the push for McGill’s divestment from fossil fuels.

“I would like to congratulate those who created this initiative … because whether [divestment] costs this university money or not, it brings to everyone’s attention that this is an unethical, wrong way to invest in our future,” Dressel said.

Curiosity delivers. |

SSMU Council

Highlights from the Mar. 28

guest speaker: principal heather munroe-blum

The guest speaker for last week’s Council meeting was Professor Heather Munroe-Blum, principal and vice-chancellor of McGill.

Motion Regarding Ta CEq secretary general position More than an hour of debate ended in the approval of an additional Vice-Secretary General position to the Table de concertation étudiante du Québec (TaCEQ).

TaCEQ is a lobbying organization comprised of student groups from universities across Quebec, including the Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU). The organization has an annual budget of about $40,000, including salaries

NEWS

| Wednesday, April 3, 2013

By Samuel Pinto

After giving a short introductory speech, she granted most of her allotted 40 minutes to a question and answer period.

When asked how she felt about the new incoming principal, Dr. Suzanne Fortier, Blum responded that she was “thrilled.”

“She has a clear sense of what our mission is,” Munroe-Blum said.

“I don’t think there’s anybody bet-

ter to come in as [principal] at this time.”

SSMU Clubs and Services Representative Zachery Rosentzveig asked Munroe-Blum about the importance of clubs at McGill, emphasizing the recent budget cuts. Munroe-Blum responded by saying that club funding was a business transaction with the university, and said she thought it was unfair “in context of

student development and learning to talk about business transactions.”

Munroe-Blum was asked what she thought was her biggest success as Principal. She said that she couldn’t tell for herself, and that “only history could be the judge.”

However, Munroe-Blum mentioned that she believed sustainability was a theme that would resonate with her legacy.

for the two current positions—Secretary General and Vice-Secretary General.

The motion, which was moved

by SSMU Vice-President External Robin Reid-Fraser, proposed that the position of Vice-Secretary General be divided into two positions— Vice-Secretary General of Communications and Internal Relations, and Vice-Secretary General of Finances and Administration.

By creating an additional position, increased funding would have to be used to pay for another salary, to which SSMU would contribute

approximately $3,200.

Councillors were divided on the creation of an additional position, with several claiming that TaCEQ lacks organization. Some pointed out that the association has no mandate nor mission statement, that assembly minutes and reports have not been properly administered, and that the organization’s website and all its documents are only available in French.

Furthermore, councillors argued that there was no clear definition of what the position would entail.

“The role of Vice-Secretary lacks a proper definition, and we’re creating a new one? Why should we pay for another one?” Brian Farnan, vice-president external of the Arts Undergraduate Society and incoming SSMU vice-president internal, said.

Reid-Fraser fought hard for the approval of the motion.

“We can get so much more out of TaCEQ if we put a bit more of a dollar amount into it,” she said.

The motion eventually passed, with 13 for, five against, and three abstentions.

What happened last week in Compiled by Bea Britneff and emma windfeld

6

motion regarding creation of ad-bloc campaigns committee

Council approved the creation of an Ad-hoc Campaigns Committee. According to the notice, the committee will “be responsible for helping to carry out campaigns related to SSMU mandates, including, but not limited to, issues of postsecondary education policy, environmental issues, and social justice issues.“ The idea for the committee was developed by Reid-Fraser in response to the Divest McGill campaign, which has required large amounts of resources and manpower.

The notice says that the Committee would be comprised of SSMU Vice-President External, the SSMU Political Attaché, and the SSMU Political Campaigns Coordinator. The Committee would only come together when needed, in order to lead and consolidate on large SSMU mandated campaigns, such as Divest McGill, according to Reid-Fraser.

Canada?

Canada withdraws from UN drought convention

drug bust on the high seas

Ralph Klein, 12th Premier of Alberta, dies

Conservative backbenchers stand up against Harper

PQ abandons L’Hôtel-Dieu renovations for new hospital

Last Wednesday, the Government of Canada informed the UN of its withdrawal from the United Nations Convention to Combat Desertification (UNCCD)—an initiative that builds resilience to land degradation and drought in developing countries while increasing security of essential resources.

Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird suggested the withdrawal, which was ordered by the federal cabinet last week.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper said only 18 per cent of Canada’s contribution to the UNCCD goes to programming, while the remainder is spent on bureaucratic measures.

“It’s not an effective way to spend taxpayers’ money,” Harper said during question period in the House of Commons on Thursday.

Following the announcement of the withdrawal, the UNCCD thanked Canada for annually contributing just over three per cent of the Convention’s budget, which amounted to $350,000 last year.

The Convention is the only one of its kind that addresses desertification and drought. Canada is the only country of 193 member states to withdraw from the Convention.

A Canadian Armed Forces ship seized approximately 500 kilograms of heroin, valued at $100 million, from a boat in the Indian Ocean on Friday. The heroin, which was seized without incident, will be destroyed.

A boarding team from Her Majesty’s Canadian Ship (HMCS) Toronto found the drugs while performing an inspection of the transport boat. HMCS Toronto tracked the transport boat for some time before boarding it.

“We ascertained [their crew] were not being truthful about their mission, their voyage, so we continued on with a full search of the vessel and discovered the drugs,” Commander David Patchell told CBC News.

In a release from the Department of National Defence, Defence Minister Peter MacKay said this is among the largest heroin confiscations to occur in a marine setting.

HMCS Toronto currently patrols the Indian Ocean and Arabian Sea as part of a Canadian Forces naval task force with a counter-terrorism mission.

Ralph Klein, who led Alberta’s Progressive Conservative Party for 14 years, died on Friday at the age of 70 in a long-term care facility.

Before becoming premier, Klein was mayor of Calgary, his hometown, for nine years. He is remembered for bringing the 1988 Winter Olympics to Calgary, as well as striving to balance the provincial budget.

Klein was Premier of Alberta in four consecutive majority governments, during which time he instituted the “Alberta Advantage”—a low-tax, low-regulation stance that paved the way for Alberta to become the only debt-free province in 2005.

Klein stepped down as Premier in 2006 due to a decline in his approval ratings, and was subsequently replaced by Ed Stelmach.

Klein was also made an Officer of the Order of Canada in 2012. He leaves behind a wife, five children, and grandchildren.

Four Conservative Members of Parliament (MPs) took a stand against Prime Minister Stephen Harper in the House of Commons last Thursday, and denounced his control over House proceedings.

This backlash comes after Harper denied B.C. MP Mark Warawa permission to read a statement in the House last week, according to The Globe and Mail. The Tory backbenchers expressed frustration with Harper’s ability to control who speaks in the House, and asked Speaker Andrew Scheer to grant MPs more autonomy in this regard.

“The very existence of parliamentary questions and the opportunities that they provide for the representatives of the people to question the government of the day are of constitutional importance,” New Brunswick Southwest MP John Williamson told the House.

According to The Globe, Tory MPs are often assigned the statements they must deliver in the House, and their questions reserved for Question Period are also written by the government, which prevents them from voicing their constituents’ concerns. Williamson has also asked Scheer to change the rules.

Last Wednesday, the Quebec government announced that it has cancelled the former Liberal government’s plans to renovate the L’Hôtel-Dieu hospital in Quebec City. Instead, the government will pursue construction of a modern hospital, which will be built outside the city.

Founded in 1637, L’Hôtel-Dieu is one of three teaching hospitals which form the Centre hospitalier universitaire de Québec (CHUQ).

L’Hôtel-Dieu was the first medical institution of its kind in North America.

According to The Globe and Mail, the Hôtel-Dieu renovations were projected to cost the provincial government over $800 million, which was double the original estimate. However, the new hospital’s price tag currently reads upwards of a billion dollars. A more concrete estimate will not be available until June.

Premier Pauline Marois noted that the Parti Québécois will not be receiving financial assistance from the federal government for the new medical centre. Ottawa has also refused to fund several other key infrastructure projects in Quebec, according to The Globe and Mail.

Ralph Klein (arcticgaspipeline.com)

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TRIBUNE Editor-in-Chief Elisa Muyl editor@mcgilltribune.com Managing Editors Carolina Millán Ronchetti cmillanronchetti@mcgilltribune.com Adam Sadinsky asadinsky@mcgilltribune.com Production Manager Sam Reynolds sreynolds@mcgilltribune.com

No easy answer in dealing with budget cuts Last week, Principal Heather Munroe-Blum unveiled the first round of McGill’s efforts to cut $46 million worth of expenditures in reaction to the recent budget cuts imposed by the government of Quebec. In an email to the McGill community, she highlighted that salaries and benefits make up more than 75 per cent of McGill’s core operating budget. As such, the majority of the measures presented were salary related. While the announcement does present some very real problems, we feel that in a situation with no easy answers, the values that come through are a positive indicator of things to come.

Sifting through the various measures and implications, one thing that stands out is that the administration seems to be showing a willingness to be a part of the solution. The three per cent salary cut for senior administrators is not a particularly large number—especially if it doesn’t include benefits nor bonuses—but it is a start. For now it is a symbolic gesture; but in the unfortunate event that more dire cost-cutting measures are needed, we hope this number will grow as well, rather than cost jobs.

Furthermore, the only direct cuts that the administration made from their own budgets, with the

Vice-Principals’ portfolios and the Offices of the Principal and Provost taking a cut of seven to nine per cent. Making these cuts while choosing not to take money from the faculties effectively keeps the direct burden of the cuts away from students. While there will be some inevitable consequences that will fall to students, such as a reduced support staff capacity and fewer opportunities for student jobs on campus, the most immediate factors affecting quality of education, namely course offerings, and professor salaries, are not being touched.

“Making these cuts

while choosing not to take money from the faculties effectively keeps the direct burden of the cuts away from students.

”

Conversely, it is the administrative and support staff who are being put under pressure. McGill has implemented a freeze on hiring, and on position-rematch and special salary requests. Even though the university’s employee groups have no obli-

off the board Is too much control cause for Celebration?

Ben Carter-Whitney

Opinion Editor

Over Reading Week, I was lucky enough to get a break from this bizarre Montreal spring, and spend a few days in Orlando. During my time there, I visited the town of Celebration, Florida — a masterplanned community originally built and owned by Disney. Although the corporation has divested in the majority of its control of Celebration over the past decade, both the town, and the vision that it was built upon, remain. The controlled nature of the town is reminiscent of certain visions for McGill which have recently been brought to the fore.

The town of Celebration began its construction in the 1990s; it was conceived as a return to the American values of yore, and born from nostalgia for a simpler time. Indeed, driving through residential Celebra-

tion, this aesthetic is constantly present. White picket fences abound.

Perched on the curb outside of each home is a small, classic mailbox. Although the houses themselves range in both size and shape, none could be classified as anything less than picturesque—Rockwellian, even.

Transitioning downtown, there is an array of small shops, coffee houses, bars, and restaurants. Some carry familiar brands, while others seem to be independently owned. A large American flag waves proudly at the centre of a small park.

Somewhere amidst the blissful small-town atmosphere, however, is the nagging feeling that something is amiss. The colour schemes from house to house are too perfectly complimentary with one another.

On the trees and bushes that adorn each property, there is not a leaf or a branch out of place. Every lawn is kept meticulously tidy. For some, the result of such orchestrated precision is idyllic. To my eyes, it seemed cold and soulless; a town stripped of

gation to open their collective agreements, requests have also been sent to each union to accept a one-year salary freeze. Some are rejecting this motion outright, but it becomes a more complicated equation given the way McGill has framed these cuts—the success of this round of cost-cutting will dictate whether or not the next round needs to involve layoffs.

One criticism of McGill’s efforts is that it drastically differs in comparison with how other schools are handling the budget cuts. The Université de Québec à Montréal (UQÀM) is reallocating funds previously set aside for capital projects to deal with the financial burden.

Meanwhile the Université Laval has negotiated a deal with the government. This deal will allow Laval to greatly reduce the cuts it has to make now (only $9 million in the next two years), and have the rest taken from the reinvestment in universities that the government has promised in two years’ time. However, given the number of times we have seen government plans for education change in the past year alone, we agree with McGill’s decision not to rely on the planned reinvestment. If this money does come through in two years’ time as promised, the university will certainly benefit. Until then it is best

all the imperfections that normally give a place character and individuality.

This level of coordination is made possible by the private ownership of the community. In order to maintain the town’s image of American perfection, everything from landscaping to transportation is carefully regulated. A resident who fails to comply with the community’s rules is issued a fine; severe or repeated infractions can lead to dismissal from the town. Extreme as it may seem, that’s the price of keeping such a vision intact.

This notion of sacrificing individuality and personal preference for the good of a greater whole is not unique by any means; on some level, it is the foundation for modern society—our legal system, taxation structure, and welfare state. In moderation, it ensures an enduring and functioning society. In more extreme situations, it can greatly impede people’s ability to ensure that their own beliefs are reflected to any

to be pragmatic, and not risk being taken by surprise later on.

While implementing these budget cuts, we have seen people from all parts of the McGill community look for ways to minimize the harm that the cuts will cause. Notable among these is the Engineering Undergraduate Society (EUS), and the creation of the Engineering Undergraduate Support Fund (EUSF). This sort of initiative, which puts money into students’ hands, allows spending to directly reflect students’ academic values and priorities. While we don’t feel that this is a responsibility that should necessarily have to fall to students, the persevering spirit behind the project is what will keep our community strong throughout the current challenges we face.

Budget cuts come with tough decisions, undesirable consequences, and necessary sacrifices. However, we feel that this latest development is a step in the right direction.

McGill seems to have identified quality of education and research as its top priorities in this process— a principle with which we agree wholeheartedly. We hope that in the future, if more drastic measures are needed, this cohesion can be maintained.

News Editors Bea Britneff, Andra Cernavskis and Emma Windfeld news@mcgilltribune.com Opinion Editor Ben Carter-Whitney opinion@mcgilltribune.com Science & Technology Editor Caity Hui scitech@mcgilltribune.com Student Living Editor Jacqui Galbraith studentliving@mcgilltribune.com Features Editor Sara Espinal Henao feature@mcgilltribune.com Arts & Entertainment Editors Chris Liu and William Burgess arts@mcgilltribune.com Sports Editors Steven Lampert and Jeff Downey sports@mcgilltribune.com Photo Editors Alexandra Allaire and Simon Poitrimolt photo@mcgilltribune.com Creative Director Susanne Wang design@mcgilltribune.com Design Editors Yael Chapman and Heather H. Lee design@mcgilltribune.com Online Editor Victor Temprano online@mcgilltribune.com Social Media Editor Lisa Yang socialmedia@mcgilltribune.com Copy Editor Adrien Hu copy@mcgilltribune.com Advertising Manager Myriam Richard cpm@ssmu.mcgill.ca Publisher Chad Ronalds

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measure. This is the point at which the cost of such a system outweighs its benefits.

McGill’s Statement of Values Concerning Freedom of Expression and Freedom of Peaceful Assembly, which was approved by Senate last week, and its Operating Procedures Regarding Demonstrations, Protests and Occupations, which do not require approval of any sort, offer us a vision for our university that has a lot in common with what I witnessed in Celebration. In exchange for our right to safely and legally protest under clear and defined parameters, we are offered a supposedly stable and safer environment.

In the eyes of the administration, this is an idyllic conception of our campus, one worth the community’s sacrifice. To me, however, a campus that is allowed to be messy at times, and to fairly reflect the community’s values is something to be fought for.

Contributors Mayaz Alam, Matt Bobkin, Joshua Freedman, Abhishek Gupta, Evan Horner, Evie Kaczmarek, Jesse Kim, Anna Kourilova, Bronte Martin, Abraham Moussako, Samuel Pinto, Veronica Rozynek, Jack Tokarz, Jenny Shen, Kieran Steer, David Stein, Marlee Vinegar, Diana Wright, Hubie Yu, Cece Zhang Tribune Offices Editorial Shatner University Centre Suite 110, 3480 McTavish Montreal, QC H3A 0E7 T: 514.398.6789

Advertising Brown Student Building Suite 1200, 3600 McTavish Montreal, QC H3A 1Y2 T: 514.398.6835 F: 514.398.7490 The McGill Tribune is an editorially autonomous newspaper published by the Société de Publication de la Tribune, a student society of McGill University. The content of this publication is the sole responsibility of The McGill Tribune and the Société de Publication de la Tribune, and does not necessarily represent the views of McGill University.

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columnists Set the MPs Free

Joshua Freedman

Commentary

Since 2005, Stephen Harper’s government has been accused of stifling the freedom of its Members of Parliament (MPs), and being overly controlling of the parliamentary agenda. This past week, Conservative MP Mark Warawa attempted to debate and pass a motion in the House of Commons that would condemn the practice of sex-selective abortion. He found his motion declared ineligible by a bipartisan House subcommittee.

Putting alternative energy plans in context

Anna Kourilova

Commentary

The ongoing debate on campus divestment stems in part from advocacy for the large-scale production of renewable sources. However, a full transition from fossil fuels to renewable energy sources while sustaining current levels of energy consumption is not a viable option to cope with future demand.

Many existing renewable platforms are not ready for full deployment, and encounter obstacles such as research constraints in the domains of storage and production, and subsidy issues. Uncertainty also looms regarding the potential of fu-

Useful at a better speed

Abraham Moussako Commentary Inter-city rail in North America is often far below the standards of other developed nations. In many parts of the continent, notably those outside of the Eastern Seaboard and select other hubs, rail service simply isn’t a competitive alternative to driving or flying. The Montreal-New York corridor, spanning two major metropolitan areas across a distance of 381 miles, is an excellent case study of the current issues with rail services across North America, and brings to light some potential solutions. Evidence of the problems is not hard to find—the train current-

9

The clearest explanation for why this motion was not allowed to go to the floor was supplied by Minister Rona Ambrose, who said, “The concern about Mr. Warawa’s motion is that the opposition has positioned it as an issue about abortion, so it becomes a very divisive issue.”

The Conservative whip, Gordon O’Connor, also gave a revealing glimpse into the mind of the government, by comparin Harper’s control of his MPs, to that which a coach would have over his athletes. Instead of playing a vital role in Parliament, MPs are viewed essentially as puppets, and are subject to censure if they wish to state anything remotely controversial.

There are so many dysfunctions at play here, that it is difficult to start with just one. Obviously, much of the blame must fall with the

Prime Minister, who has repudiated the notion of parliamentary freedom within his own party. This not only sets a bad tone for the present, but it will also give future Prime Ministers the precedent to muffle the voices of their MPs. It seems that with every new parliamentary session, the Prime Minister’s office gains more power, while MPs are increasingly relegated to the sidelines. To some extent though, Harper’s concern is understandable. It is likely, had this motion gone to the floor, that it would have turned into a partisan shouting match, with Harper’s opponents accusing the government of finally enacting a secret pro-life agenda.

This fear of an overblown reaction to a symbolic motion, with which most Canadians would probably agree, is another dubious trait

of our current system of government. However, Harper may have miscalculated whether this is really an issue that the opposition wants to fall on its own sword for. I cannot imagine that a large portion of MP’s would be so vocal against this motion, even if they feared it would open a conversation about abortion.

While to be taken with a grain of salt, an Environics poll commissioned by LifeCanada found that 92 per cent of Canadians were against the practice of sex-selective abortion. Thus, Warawa’s motion would theoretically be met with approval, either silent or overt.

Besides the public support battle, Harper is also losing a tactical skirmish with opposition parties.

While Harper appears obstinate, the NDP is busy sticking up for MP independence, with house leader Na-

than Cullen saying that whether one agrees or disagrees with Warawa, every MP should be able to speak their conscience. Though undoubtedly a bit cynical, Cullen has only shown how Harper has positioned his opponents for a win-win situation. If Harper doesn’t allow Warawa to bring his motion to the floor, he is rightly deemed as someone overly controlling of his caucus.

If Warawa does bring the motion to the floor Harper will be decried for wanting to strip women of their abortion rights.

Given the choice between those two unsavory options, it would seem that the right choice regarding both principle and strategy would be to permit Warawa to bring his motion to the floor—allowing at least some modicum of autonomy to be brought back to the House of Commons.

sion fuel as a reliable long-term energy source. The estimated expense of constructing fusion reactors, and economic trade-offs regarding the public cost pose challenges to fusion as a competitive resource.

With added scale, renewable fuel providers could maximize profitability and deliver value to shareholders, yet the importance of fossil fuels as a key economic pillar cannot be understated. The Divest McGill movement, and the greater Divest movement from which it originates, oppose investment holdings in companies involved in the Plan Nord mining development, as well as fossil fuel and Oil Sands’ extraction. To date, four U.S. universities have divested, and reviews are pending for the University of New Brunswick-Fredericton and McGill. However, no campus with endowment exceeding $1 billion has agreed to implement the divestment initiative. Currently, 5.7 per cent of

McGill’s $978.4 million university endowment fund is concentrated in businesses operating under the fossil fuel extraction model. A core issue at the forefront of the Divest movement is that financial effects on energy producers’ bottom lines will be minimal, if any. The argument, then, boils down to social capital—making a harmful impact on the reputations of energy producers involved in the Oil Sands’ operations.

In the past year, over $260 billion were invested in the global green energy landscape. By re-allocating university endowments from fossil fuels to renewable sources, the shift towards alternative energy will be advanced. However, a fine line must be drawn between the viability of short and long-term investment prospects. University endowments must exhibit competitive returns in a short time horizon, while criteria for the longer term differs. Full divestment from fossil fuels may

not be financially viable, although incremented divestment may be beneficial once renewable energy producers accumulate a more stable operational base.

The divestment criteria occupy a grey area; following the same logic, educational institutions should divest from companies that utilize fossil fuels as an input in their operations, as this contributes significantly to climate change. Furthermore, a hypocritical element arises because crude oil-based petroleum is a key input in consumer products frequently used by students, ranging from plastics to electronics and medical products. Ultimately, major players in the oil industry are primarily sustained by operating cash flow, not investment. The sale of oil and related products constitute the majority of these companies’ profits.

As long as consumer demand exists, energy firms will continue to flourish with no desire to decrease pro-

duction.

With uncertainty surrounding the execution of renewable energy platforms on a large-scale basis, the importance of exploring divestment on a partial, long-term basis emerges as a priority. Perhaps this should not be viewed solely as a market-regulated issue, overlooking governmental influence. In order to further develop alternative sources, governmental purchasing power could be re-aligned with clean energy technologies. As a result, private investment would be encouraged, creating a new marketplace for clean energy sources. While the essence of the divest movement is noble, its criteria should be better aligned with target investment objectives, and governmental implications towards the current energy landscape.

ly takes almost 11 hours (when on schedule), substantially longer than taking the bus or driving.

The push for faster rail in the United States has been led most recently by President Obama, who proposed a multi-billion dollar investment in high-speed rail corridors across the U.S. last term. Of these plans, the only current development of true high-speed rail—defined as trains reaching over 150 miles per hour—is a California effort planned to connect San Francisco to Los Angeles. That project, constantly plagued by threats to future funding, is fast turning into a typical boondoggle. While the Obama plan favoured a Boston-Montreal route, over the years there have also been discussions of varying seriousness between New York and Quebec about a high speed rail plan. Ignoring the fact that such plans are far from the main political agenda in ei-

ther jurisdiction, a better case could be made for spending the money now on improvements to the current basic speed infrastructure.

The current Montreal-New York train, the Amtrak Adirondack service, has had an “on-time performance” of slightly over 75 per cent over the past year, meaning that the train has failed to reach either end of the route within 10 minutes of the scheduled arrival time about a quarter of the time. Even though the U.S. and Canadian customs inspections, which generally take an hour to 90 minutes, are actually not the largest cause of delays, they are the ones most obvious to a casual traveler. Shaving that hour-plus off the trip would require pre-clearance facilities on either side of the border, where passengers are inspected by customs officials before boarding the train or after exiting. There was an initiative from several U.S. sena-

tors to bring such facilities to Montreal’s Central Station last year, but little has been heard from the project since.

The other and much bigger causes of delay, train interference, and track and signal issues, are less specific to the international nature of the route. As with most of Amtrak’s services, the trackage of the Adirondack is owned almost entirely by other companies, save for a short section along the West Side of Manhattan. The New York-Albany section of the route is largely owned by the Metro North commuter railroad and freight operator CSX, while the section between Albany and Montreal—generally more problematic in terms of delays—is owned by Canadian Pacific and Canadian National. Amtrak runs on these sections via agreements with the host railroads, and they often give short shrift to less profitable passenger trains when

there is a scheduling conflict. Last year, CP Rail was among the worst of Amtrak’s host railroads in terms of both interference delays, and delays caused by “slow orders,” or reductions in speed on a section of rail below the designed speed limit.

Reducing these delays would require increasing track capacity and making repairs to the sections of track currently subject to these “slow orders.” While the idea of high speed rail as has been seen in Europe and Japan carries the sort of appeal that more basic changes do not, the key to improving American and Canadian rail travel is to first make it competitive with driving on speed and price. Routes that have accomplished this, including the New York-Albany service, have seen substantial improvements in ridership over the years.

science & technology

COMMENTARY

Up in arms against mental illness diagnosis Controversy clouds new DSM-5 mental disorder diagnostic manual Kieran Steer Contributor In times of stress, students are accustomed to the familiar feelings of anxiety and mood changes. However, although people encounter stress from exams, work, and life’s challenges, this natural response to the demands placed on the body should not be classified as severe anxiety or depression.

One of the most important references for mental health treatment, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) published by the American Psychiatric Association (APA), provides a universal standard for identifying mental health disorders, ensuring that a patient in Texas who is diagnosed with anxiety, for example, will receive the same diagnosis across America.

However, the new edition of the manual to be released this May, the DSM-5, is arguably permitting the over-diagnosis of mental disorders by changing the symptoms and descriptions of common occurences.

The DSM-5 is also introducing new, classifications of mental illnesses, such as Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder—mood swings in children—and Mild Neurocognitive Disorder—the decline in one’s cognitive ability.

ASK

By Veronica Rozynek

Though the new DSM does not provide suggestions for treatment of these disorders, many health practitioners fear that further overdiagnosis of mental illnesses will exacerbate the already excessive distribution of potentially harmful prescription medications. These new changes to the manual have sparked an incredible amount of protest amongst professionals in the psychiatric fields.

For example, the International DSM-5 Response Committee, “comprised of leaders in the mental health field within the United States, the United Kingdom, and across the globe,” as stated on their website, has posted a petition called “Stop the Insanity” which strongly opposes the DSM-5.

The Stop the Insanity campaign raises many issues with the new DSM, including direct claims that the manual has “many diagnostic categories with questionable reliability,” inadequate scientific justification, and “may compromise patient safety through the implementation of lowered diagnostic thresholds.” They go on to describe the risks of prescribing medications to patients who could likely recover without pills.

“The danger is that people with milder symptoms who are [considered] normal [by previous stan-

The DSM-5 Response Committee fears the over-diagnosis of patients, particularly children and the elderly. (mercyclinicsdesmoines.org) dards] will be prescribed drugs they don’t need.” Dr. Joel Paris, professor of psychiatry at McGill, said.

As an example, the International DSM-5 Response Committee is raising eyebrows at the Mild Neurocognitive Disorder outlined in the DSM-5, as mild cognitive decline is to be expected in the elderly. Considering the numerous health problems many elderly face, this extra diagnosis, and the medications prescribed for it, is unnecessary.

On a larger scale, the Response Committee argues that “over-diagnosis of psychiatric treatment in the elderly is already a nationwide prob-

lem in the U.S. and other countries.”

In response to these protests, the APA has already begun to revise the DSM before its release this May. The Organization stresses that “news reports and commentators alike are filling the discourse with inaccurate, biased or misinformed criticism of DSM-5… which undermines the important changes that are being made to the manual.” However, with the manual under close examination by professionals worldwide, it is likely that it will align closer to the ideas of the protesters.

In the midst of these vaguely defined psychiatric disorders, it

is important to stay open-minded about the classification of milder mental disorders, like anxiety and depression.

“The problem is that we have no biological markers—scans, blood tests—for mental disorders, as other medical specialties have,” said Paris.

Though the diagnostic categorization fluctuates, the most reliable sources, such as the Mayo Clinic and Health Canada, continually emphasize that a positive lifestyle, regular sleep schedule, and healthy diet can make a significant impact on stress and anxiety.

SCITECH

Why are family meals important?

Recent developments have shown that eating meals with your family could be correlated to overall happiness in teenagers.

According to U.S.A. Today, teens who eat meals with their family are less likely to be mentally unstable, and will exhibit fewer behavioural problems. Research shows that teens experience less angst, fewer identity problems, and greater emotional well-being as a result of healthy family relationships.

While the exact connection between mental health and family dinners is unclear, there is a definite correlation. It’s difficult for researchers to pinpoint the aspect of those meals that results in a psychologically healthier teen.

Some suggest that they simply provide a way to spend more time

with family, and this extra time may formulate a feeling of trust and belonging within an adolescent.

What happens at the dinner table could become a potential area for researchers to explore.

Family behaviour at dinner varies widely across cultures, and this may also impact a teen’s emotional health. While conversation at the dinner table is encouraged in some cultures, in others, it may not be appropriate while eating.

Researchers are now looking to study the intercultural differences across the general population to identify potential differences in children’s emotional health and its correlation with family eating behaviors.

The age of the child may also play a role within this finding. Adolescents, in general, are

not likely to eat meals with their family. In U.S.A. Today, Daniel Miller, assistant professor of social work at Boston University mentioned that his studies have been more focused on the eating habits of younger children, seeing how a wider variety of data can be acquired for this age group. This is due to the fact that a greater percentage of younger children eat with their families, compared to teens.

For young children, family meals are a part of their daily routine. The repetitiveness of this behaviour may form the stability that lies behind increased emotional health for teens who dine with their families.

A study conducted at McGill surveyed eating habits and their correlation with emotional health from anational sample of 26, 069 adolescents aged 11 to 15 years who participated in the

Eating more meals with the family could improve teens’ psychological and mental stability. (multivu.prnewswire.com.jpg) 2010 Canadian Health Behaviour in School-Aged Children study.

From this study, researchers found that the average adolescent ate dinner with parents almost five times a week. Additionally, the study showed that the more meals the child ate with the family, the less lonely that child felt and the more likely he or she was

to be productive in school.

The results of this study are not confined to children, or teenagers in high school. While most students at McGill are studying away from home, it goes to show that we should all make the effort, when we can, to sit down with our families for dinner.

Curiosity delivers. |

science & technology

| Wednesday, April 3, 2013

SCIENCE

11

Design inspired by nature’s simplest formula

Algorithm-based architecture uses computer software to generate unseen, breathtaking designs Abhishek Gupta Contributor Architects are often taught in specific styles that are reflected in their work. But with most of our structures influenced by pre-existing designs, engineers are now asking what would happen if we could create designs completely independent of any references and preconceptions.

Algorithm-based architecture, the use of computer programs to create structures, does just that. It designs buildings without borrowing elements from existing structures in order to represent truly unseen forms.

Nature is arguably the greatest architect of form. Its creations span from tiny hummingbirds in Chile to colossal sequoia trees along the coast of California. All these ‘designs’ are based on a very simple algorithm: cell division. There are two ways that this cell division can occur: either the cells are exact copies of each other, or they divide through asymmetric cell division to form slightly different shapes. This very simple idea allows for an enormous variety of cell forms.

Algorithm-based architecture also works with this simple idea.

Architects write a formula, known

as an algorithm, and input it into the computer. This formula is used to create a multitude of intricate designs, which are then made a reality through the use of a 3D printer.

Just like the small modifications made to cells through cell division, the algorithm used by architects takes a small cube and makes subtle changes to it, known as folds. These folds result in a change in appearance, just as it would if you were to fold paper. Using a computer instead of physical processes algorithm architects make folds a million times quicker, and in countless variations, resulting in many more designs than were ever possible before.

This detachment from physical processes bestows upon the designer the ability to create shapes and surfaces that were previously inconceivable with traditional methods of design—we can now create surfaces that fold on themselves, or become porous. By simply varying the underlying “rule” of how and where to fold the elemental cube, the designer can create a plethora of such designs.

Although 99.9 per cent of the designs emanating from this process are the geometric equivalent of noise (random distributions), the detailed features that this process generates are unimaginably beautiful, and elegant forms of architecture can re-

sult from a long process of trial and error. Furthermore, by analyzing existing structures with the computer, a list of attributes can be generated to aid the final design, such as length of edges, planarity of surfaces, as well as their curvature. Architects can then use these parameters with respect to the rule, allowing them to easily create extraordinary and eyecatching structures.

But we need to be able to construct these shapes in real life, otherwise the whole exercise of creating intricate algorithm-based designs would be restricted to the virtual world. This is where 3D printing steps in. Although there is a tradeoff between large-scale printing and speed at the moment, such machines are becoming faster and cheaper. For example, to create a model column, the entire column is sliced up into cross-sections, and then the parameters are fed into a laser cutter. These slices are individually made, and stacked on top of one another to give the final shape. These models consist of thousands of layers each only a few millimeters thick. Almost all of the details and surface intricacies are preserved in the process of transferring the model from the computer screen to the real world.

Through algorithm-based architecture, the role of the architect has been dramatically altered from

Using an algorithm, the computer makes modifications to a cube to generate intricate designs, not based off of anything seen before. (productplus.com) someone intimately connected to the physical process of creating structures to a master of design, capable of generating rules to portray the structures of his imagination. In the words of Polish-born mathematician

Benoit Mandelbrot, “Bottomless wonders spring from simple rules … which are repeated without end,” very aptly verbalise this abstract notion of synthesizing new designs.

Compiled by Caity Hui

This week in

research artificial obesity

New evidence suggests that diet soft drinks and other artificially sweetened products may induce weight gain, as well as increasing our risk for Type 2 diabetes. According to former McGill researcher Dana Small, sugar substitutes, like aspartame and sucralose, taste more intensely sweet than regular sugar. Those who taste these substitutes on a regular basis could develop altered taste receptors so that less sweet, healthier foods are not as enjoyable.

Along with altering taste receptors, research shows that artificial sweeteners interfere with brain chemistry, and the hormones that regulate appetite and feelings of fullness. Artificial sweeteners change the way the body interprets ‘sweet.’ Since sweet taste no longer signals the arrival of calories, the body will not release insulin when it senses this taste, as ‘sweet’ is no longer a good predictor of the arrival of energy. This makes it more difficult for the body to rely on its mechanisms for regulating eating, and the sensation of hunger, often resulting in weight gain. For example, rats fed artificial sweetener experienced weight gain, and a higher than normal blood pressure.

Nicola Kettlitza, president of Coca-Cola Canada argues against this research. She told CBC News that artificial sweeteners are safe, and approved by Health Canada.

De-extinction

3D Printed Meat

Scientists hope the phenomenon known as de-extinction will reverse the expiration date of species. De-extinction, the process of bringing back extinct animal and plant species, has recently seen advances due to progress in genetic sequencing and molecular biology techniques.

Non-profit organization Revive & Restore is taking the lead on efforts to bring back the passenger pigeon— once the most common American bird—as well as contributing to the revival of other extinct species, such as the European aurochs, Pyrenean ibexes, Tasmanian tigers, and even wooly mammoths.

To restore the passenger pigeon, scientists plan to collect information on its genome through sequencing methods. They will then identify mutations unique to the passenger pigeon by comparing its genome to the genome of its cousin, the rock pigeon. Next, passenger pigeon stem cells will be created by swapping out key bits of passenger pigeon DNA for corresponding rock pigeon stem cells. These will be converted to germ cells, and inserted into rock pigeon eggs. If the passenger pigeons hatch from the eggs and are able to mate, scientists will have successfully brought the passenger pigeon back from the dead. In theory, this technique could be used on numerous extinct species.

However, this research brings up an important question. Now that we know we can bring back an extinct species, should we?

The company Modern Meadow aims to use 3D printing technology to print artificial raw meat. Meat consumption reaches around 240 billion kilograms each year, and this number is increasing.

As this overconsumption poses problems with regards to environmental degradation, animal cruelty, and the spread of dangerous diseases, 3D meat printing is a growing technological and scientific field.

The process of 3D printing involves producing solid objects from digital models, where tiny droplets are “printed” layer by layer through a carefully controlled inkjet nozzle to form the structure.

To print meat, Modern Meadow employs a method of bio-printing. First, scientists acquire stem cells from animals through a biopsy—stem cells can replicate themselves many times in order to increase in volume. Once these cells have replicated several times, they are put into a bio-cartridge. This 3D printer cartridge contains bio-ink, which, as opposed to regular ink, is made of hundreds of thousands of live cells. The meat is then printed into its desired shape, and the bio-ink particles naturally fuse to form the living tissue.

Although 3D printing has been around for years, bio-printing is more difficult, because scientists are required to print live cells. So far, the team at Modern Meadow has produced a prototype of the meat, but it is not yet available for consumption.

Sugar Babies

at McGill

What’s your price?

By Jacqui Galbraith

“What’s your price? This is Leroy.”

T best.

he start to my phone interview with Leroy Velasquez, a press representative for SeekingArrangement.com, was startling at

I am investigating a recent trend of university students using sugar daddy dating websites, like SeekingArrangement.com, to help them pay for their schooling. When asked what exactly SeekingArrangement.com is, Velasquez simply responded: “SeekingArrangement.com is the world’s largest sugar daddy dating website. [It] essentially pairs generous benefactors with attractive members, and they engage in what we call “mutually beneficial relationships.” Whether it be friendship, companionship, or something more romantic, the benefactor takes care of that person, offers them a monthly allowance, and pays for all of their expenses.”

Velasquez explains that there are various terms for the different kinds of people using the site: sugar daddies, sugar mommies, and sugar babies. He describes a sugar daddy as “an older, wealthy man, who is on average 35 years old,” and can make anywhere from half a million to over a million dollars a year. On the other hand, a sugar baby is typically a younger woman— 18-26 years old—whose income is less relevant, but ostensibly much lower. It’s also worth noting that the ratio of sugar daddies to sugar babies on the site is one to 12.

“We don’t discriminate against certain demographics,” Velasquez assures me. “For example, we do have a sugar mommy population that takes care of sugar baby males, and we also cater to the LGBT community. We have gay sugar daddy males [and] gay sugar baby females. We have a wide range of relationships on our website.”

While the service is free for sugar babies to use, sugar daddies and mommies must pay a monthly fee for their membership. There’s no minimum income requirement for sugar daddies, but on average, they make around six figures.

“As long as you have the expendable income to spend on a sugar baby’s monthly allowance, we allow you to use our website,” Velasquez explains.

The website even offers a promotion encouraging sugar babies to register with their university email account, which has enabled them to

designerscrapbook.blogspot.com

gather data on which universities boast the most sugar babies. McGill lands at number four on the list of Canada’s fastest growing sugar baby schools. With 148 new accounts created in 2012 alone, it falls behind Ryerson (183 new accounts), University of Ottawa (179 new accounts), and University of Toronto (156 new accounts), which hold the top three spots respectively. L’Université du Québec à Montréal (UQAM) also made the list at number 13, with 58 new accounts. According to SeekingArrangement.com CEO and founder, Brandon Wade, 38 per cent of all female accounts in Canada belong to university students.

“We actually found a huge trend in college students at the beginning of this year,” Velasquez says, “and I can definitely attribute that to factors involving money. A lot of students can’t afford the tuition, especially with school costs increasing [and] the cost of living, as well as student loans increasing.

A sugar daddy just seems like the most ideal and sensible choice when engaging in relationships. The average college sugar baby earns $3000 a month, as well as money to cover tuition.”

It sounds like a pretty sweet deal, right?

Aside from the obvious questions it raises, I wondered if it was too good to be true. Unable to find any experienced sugar babies to speak with, I decided to do the next best thing: see for myself. I created a SeekingArrangement.com account; one fake name, a short blurb about myself, and a couple of Facebook photos later, I was ready to see what all the fuss was about. Most of the messages I got were from men living in places outside of Montreal, looking to travel downtown to meet up. Mostly, they were from towns in Quebec and Ontario, but a few were from the states, even as far away as Texas.

As Velasquez explains it, “You have to put in perspective that the traditional sugar daddy is someone who leads a very active business life. He’s successful, he’s wealthy, he’s generous, but he may not have the same schedule as someone who works a nine-tofive. He may be travelling all the time, he may be constantly working so he has to engage in relationships where maybe he’s visiting the area where you live or he could take vacations or time off with you. When [sugar daddies] first engage with these sugar babies, they message them and tell them specifically what they’re looking for, whether it be friendship or companionship. And

then, there are times where sugar daddies are looking for someone to seriously date.

We’ve actually had numerous members send us wedding invitations over the past year, for those who actually had the chemistry and actually ended up getting engaged and married. There’s a wide range of relationships on SeekingArrangement.com.”

www.topnews.in

He’s right about the straightforward nature of the website. I received messages proposing shopping trips, dinners, and hotel meet-ups right off the bat, but others simply requesting I message them back to see if there was a connection. It was easy to tell who was looking for what, but almost every message came with a phone number or private email, suggesting we correspond outside of the website.

“When members first sign up and register on our website, they have to agree to a terms of use,” Velasquez tells me, “so our administrative team looks for members who message others and solicit them, and we ban them, no questions asked, on the first offence. At the end of the day, we are a dating website, and members have the ability to flag others if they ever feel uncomfortable, violated, solicited, etc., so we do employ a number of measures to maintain the integrity of our dating website.”

Critics of the website accuse it of being similar to an escort service, but legally speaking, as long as a sugar daddy is paying for a service other than sex, say friendship or

companionship, the transaction is perfectly legal. According to the website, any physical relationship that may occur, is beyond the scope of that arrangement.

Whatever sugar daddies are looking for, it seems they use the website to make an initial connection, but would rather their messages not be read by the Seeking Arrangement administrative team. For a service that stresses how honest and straight forward these relationships are, a lot of the profiles I saw mentioned discretion, especially those of married individuals.

Each sugar daddy is required to list their income, net-worth, age, occupation, location, and budget, among other things. Sugar babies must list much of the same, excluding income and net-worth. They also list what they’re expecting in terms of compensation from a sugar daddy. The whole venture comes across as exceedingly mercenary, yet supporters say it’s the safest, easiest way to put yourself through school. Critics argue that it’s like a job, but not quite, and it’s also like dating, but not quite—it’s too much of a grey area. The lines can get blurry enough for the whole thing to feel anything but simple. Success with the website seems to depend on whether or not you have the stomach for it.

According to Velasquez, “It’s what you look for, honestly. Using our website, you’ll see that members look for something different, and they match with someone who has a similar mindset. I’ve spoken with sugar babies who are in a completely platonic relationship with their sugar daddy, and they get the same benefits as someone who’s in a more romantic relationship. So, if you’re looking for friendship, it’s there. If you’re looking for a more romantic relationship, it’s there.”

U1 international student Chelsea* says she considered a Seeking Arrangement account, but ultimately decided she didn’t want to open that can of worms.

“I mean, I pay around $15,000 and it’s mostly in loans—my parents don’t help me.

It’s hard [because] a lot of students who don’t have loans can go travel [after graduation], but I can’t, because I have to pay back my loans right after school. Everybody needs money, and it’s an easy way to get money, but it’s weird. You lose something. If someone’s paying you money to be around them, it’s not real. You lose a bit of autonomy,” she said. “I work at Dairy Queen, and I’m much happier making minimum wage than having someone pay me to spend time with them.”

Although McGill students are split on the issue, SeekingArrangement.com is clearly growing in popularity. Despite the financial difficulty faced by many McGill students, one question remains to be answered: can we put a price on ourselves? *Name has been changed. *This feature is not part of our joke section.

Student living

pro tips

Help will always be given to those who ask for it Exploring your options: academic advising at McGill things, you’d be less likely to visit your advisor.”

Jenny Shen Contributor As the round of second semester finals seemingly springs out of nowhere every year, students across campus can finally tick off another completed term here at McGill. With age comes wisdom, and students seem to rely on McGill resources less and less as they grow more familiar with the school. We come in as first years, completely taken aback by the breadth of campus, the city, and the diversity; and maybe our natural instinct at that point is to seek help. But then, we begin to settle into the comfort of knowing the difference between Trottier and Ferrier, between McConnell, the residence hall and McConnell, the engineering building, and most importantly, between physically going to class, and watching the lecture recordings at home in sweatpants.

“When you come to university, experiencing new things can be uncomfortable,” says Ben Fung, U1 Arts and Science. “At first, you’ll spend more time with your advisor because you’re trying to decide what you’re going to be majoring in, and what you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life. Once you’ve more or less decided on those two

First-Year options As a first-year, one of the best resources is the First Year Office.

Before even stepping foot on campus, they offer information about what to expect when starting at McGill, as well as organizing the Student Life Ambassador Program, which pairs upper year students with first years in order to answer any questions that might come up throughout a First-year’s experience here. The First Year Office’s website also provides information regarding course registration to health insurance to lockers around campus and everything in between. You’re onl a first year for another month or so, so get on it.

Faculty vs. school vs. departmental advising But what if you’re not a firstyear? A good starting point is to understand the distinction between your faculty academic advisor and your departmental advisor, and potentially even your school advisor, if your field of study has one. A departmental advisor might have more information regarding your major.

For students in architecture, com-

Carrot Cake

Recipe

puter science, and nursing, it might be a good idea to seek the respective school advisor for specialized guidance that others might not have as strong a grasp on. An academic advisor, however, is a great person to talk to if you have any questions about your overall curriculum, integrating a minor, or future career goals with respect to your studies here at McGill.

What the future holds The future can be terrifying to think about. With the job market as bleak as ever, students across Canada are graduating from universities and entering the work force with genuine trepidation. So what exactly can a career advisor provide that is unique to the CaPS office?

“Think of an academic advisor as an expert on what courses a student needs to complete to fulfill their degree requirement, and [the help] a student needs to build a solid foundation for their academic career,” says Catherine Stace, Arts career adviser at CaPS. “A career advisor has a different focus. Our vision is that all students become fully engaged in career exploration and CaPS uses the basis of career education to provide students with lifelong tools for career management.”

Service Point is a good first stop if you’re not sure where to go.

(Simon Poitrimolt / McGill Tribune) Beyond advising, CaPS also offers countless other resources to the student population. For instance, the McGill Mentor Program pairs students up with McGill alumni in order to further aid in the student’s career exploration. By communicating with alumni, students are able to discuss career options with a professional in their field of interest—an opportunity available to undergraduate, graduate, and doctoral students alike.

Another CaPS program, the Program for the Advancement of Career Exploration (PACE), was created to help students make deci-

sions about their careers through a series of four workshops designed to administer self-assessments and vocational testing.

Undoubtedly, McGill students have high hopes for their futures, but they are just as likely to be nervous about the uncertainty that might lie before them. We often look to our peers for advice and tips, but it is important to keep in mind that approaching one of McGill’s many advisors can be beneficial. While some are cynical about McGill’s advising resources, you owe it to yourself to expore all of your options. After all, it doesn’t hurt to ask.

In honour of the Easter Bunny, try your hand at a slightly less healthy variation on the carrot: the delectable carrot cake. This classic dessert is sure to delight students and rabbits alike, and it couldn’t be easier to make!

By Jacqui Galbraith

Ingredients: Cake: 4 eggs 1 ¼ cups vegetable oil 2 cups white sugar 2 tsp. vanilla extract 2 cups all-purpose flour 2 tsp. baking soda 2 tsp. baking powder ½ tsp. salt 2 tsp. cinnamon 3 cups grated carrots 1 cup pecans, chopped (optional) Icing: ½ cup butter, softened 8 oz. cream cheese, softened 4 cups confectioners’ sugar 1 tsp. vanilla extract

Method: Cake: Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

Grease and flour a 9x13 inch pan. In a large bowl, mix together eggs, vegetable oil, white sugar, and vanilla extract. Stir in flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. Add grated carrots, and pecans. Pour mixture into pan, and bake for 40 to 50 minutes. Check if done by inserting a toothpick into the middle of the cake and seeing if it comes out clean. Let cake cool in the pan for ten minutes, then remove and leave to cool entirely on wire rack.

Icing: Stir together butter, cream cheese, confectioner’s sugar and vanilla extract. Beat mixture until smooth. Wait until cake is completely cool before icing. Garnish cake with pecans or cinnamon as desired.

Images from dailydelicious.blogspot.com

Makes one 9x13 inch cake

Curiosity delivers. |

student living

| Wednesday, April 3, 2013

15

Eight common McGill-related acronyms explained!

Use this convenient guide to brush up on your campus lingo for next fall

By Jesse Kim

Post-Graduate Students’ Society (PGSS) The Student’s Society of McGill University (SSMU) seems to be everywhere, but what is PGSS? PGSS refers to the Post-Graduate Students’ Society. It serves as a representative body for the graduate and post-doctoral fellows at McGill, and offers them student services similar to those SSMU offers to undergraduates.

Career Planning Service (CaPS) CaPS refers to the Career and Planning Service, which administers the myFuture on your myMcGill homepage. Its most well-known—and perhaps most useful—services are its extensive listings of employment, volunteer, and internship opportunities for McGill alumni and students. You can also use their snazzy resume builder to perfect your CV and cover letter to help you get that summer job!

The Association of McGill University Support Employees (AMUSE) Quebec Public Interest Research Group (QPIRG) QPIRG is the Quebec chapter of the Public Interest Research Group. It’s a non-profit, student-run organization that conducts research and raises awareness on environmental and social justice issues at McGill and the Montreal community. SSMU and PGSS have one member each on the QPIRG Board to represent the student body.

AMUSE refers to the Association of McGill University Support Employees. It obtained official accreditation in January 2010. AMUSE was initially dedicated to unionizing workstudy student employees but has since expanded to include non-student workers. The union’s highest governing body is its entire membership, which operates through the General Annual Assembly.

Student Television at McGill (TVM) Formerly TV McGill, TVM refers to student television at McGill, is a student-run television service funded by SSMU. They’re renowned for their production of many campus-based series, such as McGill Idol and the SSMEWs (a SSMU exec hosted current events show), as well as interviews with a number of celebrities. They also offer various workshops for their general members interested in learning how to produce and edit videos or handle a professional video camera.

Table de Concertation Étudiante du Quebec (TaCEQ) TaCEQ stands for Table de Concertation Étudiante du Quebec, also known as the Quebec Student Roundtable. TaCEQ is a student lobbying organization that differentiates itself from other organizations through its self-proclaimed non-partisanship, and the fact that it represents its members for free.

Although TaCEQ was only officially created in the summer of 2009, it has been lobbying, and carrying out demonstrations on community issues since 2008.

Annual General Meeting (AGM) AGM stands for Annual General Meeting. It can refer to any meeting that happens once a year, during which members discuss and vote on important issues within an organization. Some organizations’ Annual General Meetings, such as the QPIRG-McGill AGM, get much campus and community attention around Montreal. Others, like the Tribune Publication Society’s upcoming AGM, get far less.

holiday

“But what do rabbits have to do with it?”

Everything you ever wanted to know about the sometimes puzzling but always delicious history of Easter traditions

Wherever it came from, the Easter egg hunt is one of our favourite traditions. (www.drsukhi.com) Marlee Vinegar Contributor Festively marked by the arrival of the Pillsbury holiday cookies and the brief respite from classes, Easter came and went this past weekend. Last Sunday, the Easter bunny left its brightly painted chocolate and money filled eggs for children to find in their baskets and on their Easter egg hunts. But if Easter is a commemoration of the crucifixion

and subsequent resurrection of Jesus Christ, what does an egg-laying rabbit have to do with it? Why would we even want eggs laid by a rabbit anyway? Is there a lucrative rabbit egg industry out there? Like Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof, you may ask, “How did this tradition start?”

I’ll tell you.

Easter: As with other Christian holiday traditions, many of the Easter cus-

toms have a non-Christian origin.

The Greek word for Easter, pascha, originates from the Hebrew word for Passover, pesach, indicating the link with the Jewish commemoration of the Exodus from Egypt. The English word Easter is widely accepted to come from the name Eostra, the Teutonic goddess of fertility, which itself is derived from the ancient word for spring. The spring Equinox was central to a number of fertility celebrations commemorating resurrection in the Mediterranean, as spring is a time of renewed life. Ancient Christian missionaries took aspects of Pagan traditions and stories pertaining to these celebrations and incorporated them into Christianity.

The Easter Bunny: In keeping with the popular idiom “breed like rabbits,” rabbits and hares were commonly associated with fertility because of their high rates of reproduction as far back as the 13th century. As such, Eostra came to be symbolized by a

hare. The earliest published reference to the actual Easter Bunny was made in 1682 by Georg Franck von Frankenau’s De ovis paschalibus (About Easter Eggs). The custom is believed to have originated in the German Alsace, where the Easter Hare delivered eggs on the holiday.

In the 1700s, German immigrants brought the tradition to the United States. During holidays, children were instructed to make nests for the Easter bunny, which would leave them multicoloured eggs if they had been good.

Easter Eggs: Like rabbits, eggs are also symbols of fertility and were central symbols of new life and rebirth in springtime festivals. Both birds and hares have many offspring at the onset of spring, and became symbols of rising fertility at the March Equinox. The book Festivals and Celebrations, attributes the beginning of the Easter egg tradition to the Christians of Mesopotamia who

exchanged dyed eggs. The egg came to represent Jesus’ resurrection, with a cracked egg symbolizing his empty tomb.

Eggs, among other objects, were forbidden during the 40 days of penance leading up to Easter, and the tradition of painting Easter eggs marked the end of Lent and the start of the celebration. The colour of the Easter eggs traditionally symbolized different interpretations of spring.

The Greek colour their eggs red to symbolize blood, the renewal of life, and the sacrifice of Christ. The pastel colours are thought to be representative of hope and luck, while other eggs are painted green for the foliage growth that takes place during the springtime.

If you were celebrating this past weekend, I hope you had a happy Easter. For those who didn’t, I hope you take advantage of all the Easter candy that just went on sale. Regardless of Easter’s origins, nothing could be sweeter.

arts & entertainment (www.aceshowbiz.com)

wild

Girls gone

Give me a break Spring Breakers breaks the Hollywood mould, but its message ends up as empty as its morals

Subhead

Will Burgess A&E Editor For a movie featuring Selena Gomez as a church girl named Faith, and directed by a guy named Harmony, Spring Breakers sure contains a lot of godless chaos.

Writer/director and cinema enfant terrible Harmony Korine returns with another movie about rebellious youth, with characters who seek the same variety of forbidden fun as the stars in Korine’s screenplay of Kids in 1995. Much like how Kids was intended to be a contemporary mirror of teenage society, depicting bored, young New Yorker hedonists during the mid-’90s HIV epidemic, Spring Breakers is set in a modern Florida, and features 2013 Disney pop starlets, Gucci Mane, and a score by mainstream dubstep producer Skrillex. All of these are great commercial selling points for

a bubblegum-pop action flick.

Korine, however, takes these qualities further, by exploiting Gomez and co-stars Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Benson’s teen television backgrounds to comment on the culture that idolizes them.

As a concept, Spring Breakers has enormous satirical potential, and the idea of a biting farce lurks beneath the movie’s shiny surface. But the film doesn’t have such a sharp focus. Instead of using the flashy dream-world hyperbole as a lens into something meaningful, Korine hides the lack of substance in his movie behind substances themselves; drugs are depicted on screen with the same degree of abandon as that of the girls who are using them. This is quite convenient for him—instead of making something constructively provocative, he uses the movie’s existential premise as an excuse to not bother. The film is

literally missing content, with flashbacks and montages of the same scenes, coupled with voiceovers of the same eerie refrains of “money” and “spring break forever” taking up more screen time than the original sequences where they first appear. The resulting non-sequential, non-sequitur narrative is not artistically surreal, but rather monotonous. If the film was positioned as purely campy, nihilistic pop entertainment, it might have worked, but a film that uses teenage tedium as a catalyst for its narrative—the girls want to visit Florida because they are “tired of seeing the same things every day”— shouldn’t be boring itself.

Two characters have the potential to redeem Spring Breakers from the dead-end sum of its montages of beach bacchanalia and slow motion shootouts. The scene in which Alien, played by James Franco, tries to manipulate Faith into

staying in Florida is genuinely disturbing, and one of the film’s best. Unfortunately, Faith, scared to tears, exits the film early, which leaves it without its most developed female character.

That leaves us with Alien and his girls, whom, for the moment, appear human. Franco adopts the role, obviously modeled after Houston rapper Jody Christian (aka RiFF RAFF), extremely well, and Alien’s motives are surprisingly unpredictable—much to Franco’s credit. Alien walks a line between gangster jester— his ridiculous persona a source of comic relief—and idiot savant, whose brassy musings on the life of a hustler are profound in their own way. “People tell me I should change …

I’m about stacking change,” he tells the girls. This line almost directly quotes RiFF RAFF himself, and it feels awkward, highlighting that maybe Chris-

tian would better suit the role.

While Franco, a method actor, apparently stayed in character while on set, Christian is so committed to his eccentric rapper lifestyle that many still speculate as to whether the act is genuine or not—and this undermines the efficacy of his imitator. Acknowledging his influence, RiFF RAFF has even communicated his eagerness to star in a Spring Breakers 2, but including him in this film might give it the kick of absurdity that would push it over the edge.

Spring Breakers is a concept with potential, and a film that could have been more. Korine should either have toned down its style in favour of more substance, or recklessly pushed its explicit content to its nihilist limit, eschewing any hint at message or meaning. But in trying to balance both, Spring Breakers’ ability to provoke is broken.

could be good Theatre Henrik Ibsen’s Peer Gynt

Performance Art Collective Individual

Music Saxophonist Colin Stetson

Dance Flamenco star María Pagés

Film Peru on the Big Screen!

Concordia presents the Norwegian master dramatist’s epic play. Originally in five acts with a five hour run time, Peer Gynt was a behemoth that wasn’t even meant to be staged. But that hasn’t stopped many from trying—including Peter Batakliev, who directs this production.

Inspired by the recent popular uprisings in the Middle East, Collective Individual examines the impact of war on civilians. It explores the duality between individual, and collides subjective pain with collective freedom. Presented by Zohar Melinek and Mary St-Amand Williamson.

Stetson—who has played with artists Tom Waits, Arcade Fire, and Feist—brings his world-renowned talent to Montreal as part of the Montreal Museum of Contemporary Art’s Friday Nocturne series.

Stetson explores post-rock sound, at the intersect of noise, drone, and minimalism.

Pagés brings her show Autorretrato to the Salle Wilfrid-Pelletier. Acclaimed for her unique approach to flamenco, Pagés brings together six musicians and eight dancers for a show that celebrates a magnificent and beloved Spanish art form.

A series presented as part of the Montreal Festival of Latin-American Film by the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, Peru on the Big Screen! showcases several selections, in the company of their directors.

Thursday, Apr. 4 to Saturday, Apr. 6 at 8 p.m.; Saturday, Apr. 6 and Sunday, Apr. 7. at 2 p.m., D.B. Clarke Theatre (1455 De Maisonneuve). Student tickets $5.

Friday and Saturday, Apr. 5 and 6 at 8 p.m., MAI (3680 Jeanne-Mance). Student tickets $15.

Friday, Apr. 5, at 5 p.m., Montreal Museum of Contemporary Art (185 SteCatherine Ouest). Admission with regular museum ticket (students $8).

Thursday to Saturday, Apr. 4 to 6, Salle Wilfrid-Pelletier (Place des Arts). Tickets starting at $38.

Saturdays, Apr. 6, 13, and 20, at 11 a.m., Montreal Museum of Fine Arts (1380 Sherbrooke West). Free admission.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013 |

arts & entertainment

Interview

Talking street,

| Curiosity delivers.

straight from the heart

17

Breakout female rap duo Heart Streets shakes up the Montreal hip-hop scene before taking on the world Evie Kaczmarek Contributor It seems as though the notoriously slow Montreal hip-hop world is being jostled awake by up-andcoming powerhouse female rap duo Heart Streets. With their smooth voices, and bold but unassuming presence, they are beginning to create some serious waves on the scene. Heart Streets took to the stage last Friday night at Cabaret du Mile End for the release of their second EP Beats, Blunts, & Broads in front of an enthusiastic crowd.

The group consists of Montrealers Gabrielle Godon and Emma Beko, who founded Heart Streets two years ago. In combining Godon’s soulful, sultry voice with Beko’s swift and raspy rapping, the close friends discovered a unique dynamic that has since captured international attention. With the help of the smooth production of Andre Milton, the girls have developed a style that fills a serious void in the genre.

Godon and Beko say they are often asked what it’s like to be two white girls in the hip-hop industry— and they insist their profiles don’t

change much. However, they do see that it has a certain power in attracting people to their music.

“It brings curiosity,” explains Godon. “People are like, ‘Who is this girl rapping and this girl singing with a soulful voice?’ [We’re] white, and [we’re] young; they are curious to see what we have to offer.”

This fresh, unapologetic attitude certainly parallels the nature of their music. Their lyrics are edgy and real; in fact, they seem to encapsulate the nature of Montreal. The laid-back music video to their single, “Nonchalant,” takes viewers on a street tour of the city, and features the girls’ friends and favourite local hang-outs. The feel is certainly quite old-school, but they also find inspiration from newer artists such as Azealia Banks and Kendrick Lamar.

Heart Streets has been featured on major music blogs such as Pitchfork, The Fader, and The Mirror Noisemakers Issue. They have gained increasing attention, especially following their collaboration with LOL Boys on the groovy single Changes. Heart Streets’ growing success has

brought them to the stages of Pop Montreal and M for Montreal in the last year. They’ve opened for big names like Radio Radio and Bran Van 3000 at L’Olympia, and they continue to fill venues throughout the city.

Five years from now, Heart Streets hopes to be touring around the world. “[We want] to be living out of the music,” says the duo.

There is no doubt that with their spunky outlook and expansive talent they will go on to redefine Montreal’s hiphop story and pave the way for future female artists.

Images from bcbits.com, teena-bee.com

Visual Art

Art Mûr goes for the jugular and leaves a bloody mess Contemporary art gallery fails to impress in latest slate of exhibits Jack Tokarz Contributor With the pervasive yet varied theme of the human body, Art Mûr’s latest exhibitions push the social boundaries of comfort and originality. A striking feature of this free contemporary art gallery and studio is its intimate layout, which immediately takes hold of visitors ,and forces them into a new mindset upon entering.

After the first step into the gallery, one is within arm’s reach of an overwhelming piece from Sonny Assu’s #NEVERIDLE exposition.

Half of the pieces use drums as a medium, while the other half use unique geometric forms; all, however, are made from real caribou skin. The canvas’ uncommon shapes amplify the abstract patterns’ ambiguity, causing the piece in entirety to reflect personal projections, which may include immense sadness, jocularity, or harmony depending on the viewer. Although well-made and in-

teresting, this exhibit seems like an art class’ textbook definition of abstract art; it does not have anything to distinguish itself from countless past works in the same genre.

The exhibition’s narrow hallway opens up into a room containing Bevan Ramsay’s unsettling (to put it mildly) Soft Tissue. This white room contains four paintings and five sculptures, devoted to displaying meat in ways people would not usually like to think of it. The red paintings portray slabs of meat at different distances—from large, thick, whole pieces, to the meat’s structure at cellular level. These pieces complement the exhibition well, but are not nearly as attention-grabbing nor emotive as Soft Tissue’s sculptures.

Thankfully not made of real meat, the sculptures combine various parts of humans and animals into deformed monstrosities. The first piece features a human with bloody pig hooves for hands, kneeling down, appearing to worship the rest of the exhibit. Directly in front

of this creature is what appears to be a massive chicken wing with a graphic, gory gash in its side. The wing stands on a beautifully accurate hand. At about eye level, the wing has an open human mouth, reminding the viewer of what one typically does with chicken wings.

Whether a statement about vegetarianism, the similarities of man and beast, or simply an attempt to make viewers as uncomfortable as possible, this exhibit’s careful attention to detail—no matter how nauseating— evokes a strong emotional response.

The final room of the first floor contains Renato Garza Cervera’s Springbreaker Tsantsas—a basic display of nine shrunken heads with a video of a child holding several others on string. Each head within a glass jar on a podium, this sterile exhibit does not possess any of the previous room’s impact. One would think that shrunken heads would be more spine-tingling, but, perhaps because only their hair is actually human, they did not elicit

What we all think we look like during finals. (Courtesy of Art Mûr) any emotional impact. The heads are surprisingly small, about the size of a fist, and look metallic with a few cracks spread across the face. Perhaps somebody with a greater preexisting affinity for shrunken heads would experience an enhanced appreciation for these pieces, but it certainly did not create one for this

critic.

This series aims to create an emotional response, and in some sense, it does succeed. But simply being visceral or ambiguous isn’t enough to be inspiring.

Art Mûr’s current exhibitions are on display until Apr. 27 (5826 rue St-Hubert). Admission is free.

18

Wednesday, April 3, 2013 |

arts & entertainment

Album Groenland The Chase

Peace In Love

Bonsound

Columbia

A title like The Chase begs the question: chasing what? The album is purposefully coy in providing an answer, but one can rule out ‘talent’ as a possibility—Groenland already has that in abundance.

The Montreal six-piece’s release is staggeringly accomplished for a first effort. The Chase occupies a nebulous arena between indie-pop and folk—though such labels seem pathetic when applied to tracks that brim with such originality. Melodic mastery and expert songcraft characterize the album, which maintains an undercurrent of unceasing fun—a ‘shout from the mountaintop’ joie de vivre. Inventive and memorable melodies twist, turn, and soar, taking on a life of their own in lead singer Sabrina Helde’s vocals. Iridescent at certain times, smoky and snarly at others, Helde’s voice is always remarkable for its realness, an uncanny relatability and likeability that won this critic over in record time.

There isn’t a single song on this album that is melodically uninspired or poorly arranged, and this collective virtuosity makes it all the more difficult to pick standouts.

“Criminals” is one example where all elements work in perfect unison: the light, carefully counterpointed piano chords, alongside the cello and violin as they slide out sly riffs and punchy accents. “Our Hearts Like Gold” begins as a gentle ballad modestly adorned with an impossibly infectious melody, but soon blossoms into a hopeful, upbeat eulogy to conclude the album.

For a debut release, The Chase is incredibly polished and well thought-out. Whatever Groenland is chasing, they’re sure to find it. With artistry such as this, there’s nothing that can stand in the group’s way.

—Chris Liu

| Curiosity delivers.

Interview

Brad Weber pipes up

reviews

It’s baffling that there hasn’t been a band named Peace already, but four Brits have taken the moniker and are running with it. Their debut album, In Love, is chockfull of summery guitars and catchy hooks. Song titles such as “Higher Than The Sun,” “Float Forever,” and “California Daze” are accurate indicators of the album’s laidback, sun-streaked atmosphere.

While the album begins with punchy rock, the first major deviation can be found in the fourth track, “Float Forever.” It starts with sparse guitar and bass, while lead singer Harrison Koisser and his brother, bassist Samuel, sing in harmony.

Even after the drums enter, the song’s slow tempo works, proving the band’s versatility.

The rest of the album is a rollicking affair, filled with guitar blasts, catchy choruses, and a harkening to ’60s rock. Album closer “California Daze” employs Beatles-esque harmonies and drums alongside lyrics such as “she tastes like sunlight,” to exemplify their blissed-out ambiance.

The songwriting occasionally slips into clichéd territory, especially on third track, “Lovesick.”

The song is one of the album’s poppier tracks, repeating the phrases “I wanna get lovesick with you” and “I don’t wanna make no sense, I don’t wanna pay the rent” amidst surfrock riffs.

The album is a decent debut, and establishes Peace as a group to watch as they continue to spread their psych-tinged rock and throwback vibes in the years to come.

—Matt Bobkin

Pick A Piper picks a pack of Montrealers

Ingrid Gatin 1000 Lives Pipe & Hat Few modern artists use the accordion in their songs, and even fewer can use it with the grace and flair of Ingrid Gatin. Her second full-length release, 1000 Lives, is dramatic and old school, relying heavily on piano, and the aforementioned accordion. Winnipegger Gatin has a dynamic, strong voice, and has created atmospheric tracks on the album with the help of Arcade Fire producer, Howard Bilerman.

Despite containing some songs that sound somewhat similar, Gatin’s creation is a compelling and refreshing album.

Standout tracks include down tempo “Cherry Blossom,” which has a haunting, mournful mood, “Take These Walls,” progressing almost like an old-timey waltz—and a rather sexy one at that; and “My Ship, My Crown,” which exhibits Gatin’s vocal chops.

Love is the overarching theme of 1000 Lives, but more of a mature, jaded kind. Don’t expect any Taylor Swift-esque declarations of undying affection here. It seems like the relationship behind Gatin’s album didn’t end too well, and although not quite a break-up record, 1000 Lives is definitely recommended for someone trying to move on from a failed relationship.

The album’s titular track features atmospheric, screechy strings.

Gatin plays piano dramatically behind the strings, building up to a climax near the middle of the song.

But, worry not—the record can be rather upbeat at times, notably on second last song, “Broken Tambourine.” Still, it retains a dose of bitterness. 1000 Lives is worth a listen for its creativity, and for someone who’s tired of manufactured, cookie-cutter female vocalists.

— Diana Wright

Caribou drummer Brad Weber’s solo project takes off. (www.facebook.com) Bronte Martin Contributor In March 2009, Caribou drummer Brad Weber released his first tangible evidence of embarking on a project of his own: a self-titled EP named Pick A Piper. Over the last few years, Weber has found time to pursue and channel his own personal songwriting abilities, while flexing his production skills.

“Caribou has been touring a lot, so whenever I have free time—often in the back of the tour bus—I find myself working solo on drum loops and bass lines,” explains Weber.

He has also delved into a DJ career, as yet another side project.

“Deejaying is something I like to do once a month to avoid mental blocks when I’m actually busy writing music for Pick A Piper,” says Weber. His multiple creative outlets extend and enhance his artistic freedom Caribou originally provides, as all have matured into something of notable substance.

Specifically, Pick A Piper erupted out of a desire to “take any interesting sound and incorporate it into a more electronic palette.”

Juxtaposing acoustic with synthetic qualities came as a transition for the band.

“Our goal now is to create a sound that’s musical starting point is unidentifiable,” says Weber. The sound of their initial 2009 release ignored this goal, as it intensely focused solely on the raw acoustic aspects. The vocals were unresponsive and their songs musically limited, which led Weber to seek out new inspiration. Listening to more contemporary electronic music such as Bonobo, Four Tet, and Shlohmo, Pick A Piper’s aesthetic became increasingly sparse, achieving the analog vs. electronic sound they had in mind. Today, the band led by Weber are set to release their debut self-titled LP, stressing a perfect bal-

ance between prominent harmony, noticeable vocals, and interesting percussive sections.

To further enhance this approach, Pick A Piper worked with talented vocalists on this LP, including Ryan McPhun of Ruby Suns, and John Schmersal of Enon. Weber stated that a highlight track, titled “Lucid in Fjords,” gave him the most hassle, but the final product was worth the effort.

“I almost threw the track away!” says Weber. “The original instrumental was super basic in comparison to what it has evolved into now, and it seemed to not be going anywhere meaningful.” Once McPhun implemented his interpretation on the lyrics and melody, Weber was more than satisfied. There was that balance they so desperately needed.

The Pick A Piper LP, according to Weber, “combines dance-music structures, polyrhythmic percussion, and atmospheric sound design,” incorporating any and all sounds they find energizing. Toying around with anything from Moog patches to the use of a glockenspiel, Weber has surrounded himself with not only experimental band members, but great friends as well.

“I would describe the process as ‘sampling’ my friends. I ask them to record their own interpretations based on a song idea, and I piece everything together by manipulating each and every sound,” says Weber.

Released on Mint Records, the Pick A Piper LP has also been transformed into a live show, touring across the country in the next few months. Pick A Piper plans to wow the crowd with “spacious vocals and prominent percussion,” proving to reflect their musical style altogether: something simultaneously blissful and energetic.

Pick A Piper performs on Apr. 5 at Quai des Brumes (4481 St. Denis). Tickets $8.

SKIers SKIING in skis allene Kennedy FINISHED THIRD IN OVERALL SCORING ON THE WOMEN’S SIDE

David Apap WON FIRST RSEQ MEN’S INDIVIDUAL ALPINE SKI TITLE SINCE 2005

photos by simon poitrimolt

compiled by David Stein, peter laing, mayaz alam, evan horner, steven lampert, Adam Sadinsky

american league east 1. Toronto Blue Jays You may or may not have heard, but the Blue Jays made a couple of significant moves in the off-season. Without a doubt, this team is the most talented in the AL East and looks poised to get back to the playoffs for the first time since they won the World Series 20 years ago. Jays fans might not want to plan the parade route just yet, though, as a couple of injuries could significantly harm those chances on a team lacking depth.

2. Tampa Bay Rays Who can bet against Joe Maddon?

A cursory look at the Rays lineup leaves

a bit to be desired, but this team will be saved once again by a solid pitching staff. Losing James Shields and Wade Davis won’t hurt the club, as Jeremy Hellickson moves up in the rotation, and Matt Moore and Alex Cobb take well-deserved places at the back of the rotation. This is a solid, consistent team, and they should be playing meaningful games in September.

3. Boston Red Sox Red Sox fans will be asking themselves a lot of questions this year: Will their team return to relevance? Will John Lester return to his ace form?

Were Shane Victorino and Mike Napoli worth the big contracts? Is this Jacoby

Ellsbury’s last year at Fenway? Is Jackie Bradley Jr. the future of the franchise?

How many more years can David Ortiz surpass expectations? Were the last two years just a very long and very bad dream?

4. New York Yankees The Yanks and Sox are really interchangeable on this list, but we’ll put New York in fourth because of their long injury list. Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez, Mark Texeira, Curtis Granderson, Phil Hughes, and Michael Pineda are all reasons why this team should be good, but they’re all on the disabled list to start the year, so the Yankees will have to live with Vernon Wells, Brett Gardner, and

Jayson Nix among others. This team is getting older and could miss the playoffs for just the second time in 20 years.

5. Baltimore Orioles But the Orioles are basically the same team that nearly won the division last year... so why last place? Baltimore’s success last season had more to do with luck than talent. They went 29-9 in onerun games and 16-2 in extra innings— numbers that statistically should be difficult to duplicate. Baltimore did little to improve, making the playoffs for the first time since 1997 may have created a bit of complacency, and the team should fall back down to Earth, and the bottom of the division in 2013.

central 1. Detroit Tigers Detroit Tigers — After winning the American League pennant in 2012, the Tigers will be motivated to have a strong 2013 regular season. With high-profile names like Miguel Cabrera, Prince Fielder, and Justin Verlander on their roster, they have the talent to repeat as division champs and should challenge for a World Series title.

2. Chicago White Sox Offensively, Adam Dunn and Paul Konerko will be leaned on heavily to

manufacture runs for the White Sox in 2013. However, with the likes of Matt Lindstrom and Matt Thornton in their bullpen, the White Sox have the necessary pieces in place to complement their starting pitchers. Jake Peavy, youngster Chris Sale, and the usually reliable Gavin Floyd should help Chicago compete in the American League Central.

3. Cleveland Indians Despite adding Nick Swisher and Mark Reynolds in the off-season, the Indians lack the necessary balance be-

tween good pitching and consistent run production. While there is certainly potential for improvement from last year’s 68-94 record, new manager Terry Francona has his work cut out for him if the Indians are to contend in this division.

4. Kansas City Royals A perennial American League Central cellar dweller, the Kansas City Royals were unable to drastically improve themselves during the off-season.

Although they acquired new ace James Shields from Tampa Bay, the Royals will

struggle to score runs. Unfortunately for fans in Kansas City, this could spell another long season for the Royals.

5. Minnesota Twins Even if the Twins receive solid production from sluggers Justin Morneau and Joe Mauer, they lack depth throughout the rest of their roster. A lacklustre starting rotation, coupled with a mediocre bullpen will make things difficult for Minnesota. Unlikely sources will need to step up if the Twins have any chance in the Central.

west 1. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim For the second straight year the Angels landed the off-season’s biggest prize. Last year, it was Albert Pujols, and this year it’s Josh Hamilton. The former Texas Ranger joins an already stacked Los Angeles lineup that boasts the likes of Mike Trout, Mark Trumbo, and Albert Pujols. Last year’s pitching problems were addressed with a complete overhaul of the back end of the pitching rotation. Look for these major off-season acquisitions to actually turn out into a playoff spot this year.

2. Texas Rangers Once the tears dried over last year’s Wild Card loss to the Orioles, and the mass exodus led by the team’s poster

boy—Josh Hamilton—the Rangers jumped into the free agent market, and acquired Father Time and his brother in Lance Berkman and catcher A.J. Pierzynski. After silencing his critics last year, Yu Darvish will once again be expected to lead a very strong Texas rotation. Barring another major injury to Berkman, the Rangers will no doubt keep it very close in this ultra-competitive division.

3. Oakland Athletics How many more times will Billy Beane’s squad totally shatter expectations? The league’s lowest payroll pulled off another Moneyball miracle last year, and won the division crown. While it is tempting to pencil in the Athletics as underground kings, the question marks in

their offence shadow their outstanding defence and pitching. All in all, expect some regression, but keep in mind that a lot is possible in the wild AL West.

4. Seattle Mariners Unfortunately for the Mariners, there is no ‘most improved’ award in the MLB. Seattle had an excellent offseason—acquiring much needed powerbat Kendrys Morales, signing struggling Canadian Jason Bay, and adjusting the fences at Safeco field to better accommodate hitters. In addition, the Mariners locked up ace pitcher Felix Hernandez for another seven years. Despite these changes, the Mariners still remain boys among men in the AL West, and will find themselves out of the playoffs.

5. Houston Astros Everybody’s favourite AAA team will suffer in their first season in the American League. On the bright side, the team has one of the strongest farm systems in the league. Astros fans would be wise to seek advice from their friends to the north about the importance of weathering the storm, while developing the team’s lower tiers. It will be a while before the Astros are relevant again.

Image sources: nationalsportsbeat.com, seeklogo.com, phombo.com, graphicshunt.com, sportsgeekery.com, sportslogos.net, wikia.org

Major League

Baseball season preview

national league

east 1. Washington Nationals

2. Atlanta Braves

3. Philadelphia Phillies

4. New York Mets

5. Miami Marlins

The Braves added not one, but two Upton brothers this offseason to join Jason Heyward in their incredible outfield. However, the team will sorely miss franchise cornerstone Chipper Jones, who retired after an illustrious career. The pitching is strong, as Kris Medlen and Tim Hudson should produce quality seasons. The key will be the emergence of highly-touted fireballers Mike Minor and Julio Teheran; these two could push this team into the game’s elite.

The Phillies are definitely talented—the veteran core that led them to World Series appearances is largely intact. Their rotation is headlined by the three-headed monster of Cole Hamels, Cliff Lee, and Roy Halladay, but questions do exist as to whether all three can stay healthy. Offensively, the Phillies still have the firepower to succeed. Look for Domonic Brown to break out for a club that needs to get the jigsaw pieces to fit.

The Mets lost Cy Young award winner R.A. Dickey over the off-season, and their record should take a hit as a result. The rotation offers some promise; young prospects Matt Harvey and Zach Wheeler seem poised to take the next step. Offensively, the club ranges from abysmal to mediocre, with the lone bright spot being David Wright. However, he can only carry the club for so long, as the talent deficiency will doom the Mets over the entire season.

Jeffrey Loria may be the most hated man in all of South Florida after he organized another firesale.

The team was stripped to the bare minimum after trades that moved Hanley Ramirez, Josh Johnson, Jose Reyes, Mark Buehrle, and numerous others to greener pastures.

What’s left is Giancarlo Stanton, Logan Morrison, Ricky Nolasco, and not much else. Look for this team to struggle throughout the year, falling to one of the worst records in baseball.

1. Cincinnati Reds

2. St. Louis Cardinals

3. Milwaukee Brewers

4. Pittsburgh Pirates

The Reds won the division last year without a healthy Joey Votto—arguably the best firstbaseman in all of baseball—which speaks volumes to the amount of talent on the roster. The Reds feature a dominant bullpen, and have added Shin-Soo Choo to an already dynamic offence. After being eliminated by the San Francisco Giants in the National League Division Series (NLDS), and gaining valuable playoff experience, the Reds look more dangerous than ever in 2013, and will likely repeat as Central Division champs.

The Cards always find a way to win, no matter the situation they find themselves. With a great mix of veterans and up-andcomers, the Cardinals are poised to make another deep playoff run.

However, they will have to overcome another hurdle, as staff ace Chris Carpenter’s career seems to be over, and serviceable Kyle Lohse signed with Milwaukee. Look for the Cards to challenge the Reds for the NL Central division crown.

The Brewers will once again have a loaded offence led by 2011 MVP Ryan Braun. The late addition of Kyle Lohse should bolster an already formidable rotation behind ace Yovanni Gallardo. However, they will have to deal with the loss of Corey Hart, who will be out until May with a recurring knee injury.

The Brewers also have a very unreliable bullpen, making them an unlikely bet to make the playoffs in 2013.

After 20 straight seasons with an under .500 record, the Pirates finally have what it takes to win more games than they lose.

The addition of catcher Russell Martin will have a strong, positive influence on the pitching staff. The X-factor for the Pirates is Pedro Alvarez, who, with a little more discipline, could help propel the Bucs behind phenom Andrew McCutchen. Look for the Pirates to hover around the .500 mark all year.

The Nationals shocked the world last season, as they proved they had the youth and talent to dominate for years. Bryce Harper should continue his meteoric rise in year two, and the other megastar, Stephen Strasburg, will be unleashed from his innings limit restriction. Moreover, the best rotation in the league added all-star Dan Haren. This lineup still has the power, speed, and versatility to rake their way to a divisional title.

central

west

5. Chicago Cubs There is an optimism in the Cubs’ clubhouse that they can pull off the type of season that the Baltimore Orioles had in 2012.

Anthony Rizzo and Starlin Castro will be a dynamic duo for years to come on the North Side, and they are ready to break out in 2013. Everything would have to go perfectly for the Cubs to win the division, so the most we can expect is some minor improvement after a dismal 61 wins in 2012.

1. Los Angeles Dodgers

2. San Francisco Giants

3. Arizona Diamondbacks

4. Colorado Rockies

5. San Diego Padres

Spending money isn’t a problem for this franchise, as the Dodgers doled out almost $200 million in new free agent signings this offseason. Headlining the list are stud pitcher Zack Grienke, and Japanese import Hyun-Jin Ryu, who should both bolster the team’s staff led by NL Cy Young runner-up Clayton Kershaw. The offence looks promising, but the Dodgers will need Hanley Ramirez to play up to his ability if the team wants to win the division title. Our bets are on them doing so.

The 2012 World Series champions barely touched their roster, but that probably isn’t a bad thing.

The lineup is filled with overachievers, who show up in clutch situations. New $167 million man Buster Posey should also contend for another NL MVP award. With the young and established arms, if Tim Lincecum can somehow regain his old form, this team will be scary. The Dodgers’ acquisitions should be enough to win the division, but they also have the talent to claim a wild card spot. Then, anything can happen in October.

After a very average 2012 campaign, the Arizona Diamondbacks underwent a pretty significant overhaul this off-season.

Gone are once promising outfielders Justin Upton and Chris Young, replaced by a bunch of MLB journeyman like Martin Prado and Cody Ross. The D-Backs’ pitching staff is filled with some intriguing young talent and will likely determine where the team finishes in the division. If all fails, keep an eye on Adam Eaton as a potential rookie of the year candidate.

The Rockies enter 2013 without much in the way of expectations. The offensive talent is there, as all-stars Troy Tulowitzki and Carlos Gonzalez anchor a lineup that can produce a ton of runs.

However, the team did little to improve its pitching staff, which allowed the most runs in the MLB last season. The top three of Jhoulys Chacin, Jorge De La Rosa, and Jeff Francis strikes fear in no lineup in the league, so expect the team to hover around the same 64-98 record as last season.

The Padres did virtually nothing to improve their roster this off-season, which doesn’t bode well for the struggling franchise.

Their lineup is headlined by last year’s breakout star Chase Headley, but he will start the season on the disabled list after fracturing his thumb. The erratic Edinson Volquez leads an average pitching staff that likely won’t change the team’s fortunes. San Diego just doesn’t have enough firepower to compete in the division.

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Wednesday, April 3, 2013 |

Around the

W

sports

NCAA BASKETBALL— The horror! The Elite 8 matchup between the Duke Blue Devils and the Louisville Cardinals turned into a gruesome scene Sunday, when Cardinals guard Kevin Ware went up to block a three point attempt. Landing awkwardly, Ware tumbled into his bench, snapping both bones of his lower right leg in the process. The break was so significant that it protruded from his leg and required immediate surgery, causing several players from both sides to collapse in tears. Apparently, his only thought after the injury was that the team stay focused on winning the game, which puts him as a firm frontrunner for ‘Best Guy’ 2013. His message, and a strong 23-point performance from Midwest MVP Russ Smith, paid off as the team advanced to the National semifinal with an 85-63 win.

In the other Elite 8 showdowns, 9th seed Wichita State continued their Cinderella story, toppling Ohio State 70-66.

The Shockers will take on Louisville, while on the other side of the draw, 4th-seeded Michigan will take on the smothering defence of the 4th-ranked Syracuse Orange. The Final 4 begins on Apr. 6.

ater cooler

In case you were too busy scouring for Easter Eggs or immersing yourself in the return of Game of Thrones, here is what you missed this past week in the world of sports ...

| Curiosity delivers.

HOCKEY— Déjà vu! A similarly disturbing injury overshadowed another week of hockey, as Sidney Crosby took a puck to mouth, which splintered his jaw. The puck came off a ricochet shot from teammate Brooks Orpik.

With his regular season most definitely over— although the Pens are hopeful he will return for the playoffs—it is becoming unclear which is more tantamount: Crosby’s prophetic talent, or his unworldly bad luck. Crippling concussions, and now a broken jaw, have caused the Penguins star to miss extensive time, which hurts not only his team, but also the league as a whole. Additionally, his injury really throws a wrench into all fantasy hockey pools, which is roughly equal in magnitude.

In other news, Jarome Iginla made his debut for the Penguins, helping the team secure its league-leading 56th point and 15th straight victory. Calgary fans are definitely ecstatic that Iggy has found success after being dealt by the abysmal Flames ... right, guys? Finally, the Leafs are on a three-game wining streak, which has put them in a dead heat with the Sens, and a handful of other hopefuls for the last three or four playoff spots in the East.

NBA BASKETBALL — Devastating inj ... just kidding. NBA basketball avoided the catastrophic injury bug, while Easter came a little early for Heat Haters. Miami finally dropped a game last Wednesday against Chicago to halt their ridiculous 27-game winning streak (a third of their schedule!). The team was threatening one of the all-time great records in league history, when Jerry West and the Lakers won 33 straight in 1971-1972. The loss did not derail the Heat for long, however, as they started right up again, stringing together two quick wins, including a last second three ball by Chris Bosh, to ice the San Antonio Spurs 88-86.

On Saturday night, Kobe Bryant surpassed Wilt Chamberlain for fourth on the all-time NBA scoring list, as he continues to live up to his self-proclaimed nickname “Vino”—because, you know, he gets better with age. Very clever, Kobe.

The playoff picture is shaping up nicely too, with about ten games left to play. Some teams like the Thunder are eager to get back to the NBA Finals, while others, like the Toronto Raptors, have all but given up and bought into Blue Jays fever.

Last chance to beat us next week. sports@mcgilltribune.com

THIRD MAN IN Everything seems to be going well for Tiger Woods these days: he and President Obama enjoyed a game of golf in February, and he recently announced his relationship with Olympic ski champion Lindsey Vonn (ugh). However, it got even better when Woods sank his final putt at the Arnold Palmer Invitational and won the tournament by two strokes. The win is his 77th on the PGA Tour and third in the 2013 season. However, it served an even greater importance, as the win sent him right back to the top of the Official World Golf Ranking for the 11th time in his career—a spot he once held for 623 weeks and lost in October 2010. After his infidelities became public in November 2009, Woods took an extended break, and his rankings dropped down to as low as number 58 in November 2011. His trophy drought finally ended last year, when he won his first tournament—again the Arnold Palmer Invitational—since the scandal. His ascension to the top spot can only mean one thing: Tiger is back.

There is much speculation on what Woods’ return means to fans and golfers alike. It’s obvious that fans love watching him play; in mid 2008, when he underwent knee surgery and took a

Roaring back: Tiger’s return to the top

leave from the tour, TV ratings for the remainder of the season suffered a significant decline. He consistently draws large crowds at whichever course he plays, and is always coveted by tournament organizers.

There is also much discussion on what Woods’ return means for the tour. His reputation precedes him, as he can easily intimidate many players. An economist at the University of California actually found that golfers played worse when competing against Woods, compared to when he was not in the tournament.

When Woods was on top of his game before the scandal, many players found it hard to compete with him, because fans’ attentions were often directed at him and his seemingly effortless play. Other stars, like Rory McIlroy and Bubba Watson, have emerged in Woods’ downswing.

The old days may be upon us again, as many analysts believe that this is the beginning of another historic run for the highly talented golfer. Woods’ win last week provided him with something he hasn’t had since the scandal—confidence leading into the Masters, the first, and arguably most illustrious major of the season, which starts next week.

Woods, a 14-time major winner, and four-time Masters champion, has not won a major tournament since the U.S. Open in 2008, and is the favourite for this year’s Masters.

Nike, Woods’ longtime sponsor, quickly rolled out an ad after Woods reclaimed the number one ranking, proclaiming, in Woods’ own words that “winning takes care of everything.” This ad was immediately controversial, as it seemingly implies Woods’ past mistakes—which cost him his family and affected his play—are wiped away with regained success. However, the quote was taken out of context, since Woods only commented after he was asked about his game and his opposition last year; “everything” likely referred to the world rankings.

Woods’ putting has been exceptional lately, and it will be interesting to see whether he can carry his momentum to glory next week in Augusta. His success is in his hands. The way we perceive him however, is in our hands and will always be up for debate, whether he’s on top of the golfing world or not.

— Hubie Yu

Tiger sets his sights on the Masters this week. (palmbeachpost.com)

Potions & Magic The real evolution

of science and technology 550 AD —Pre-Socratic philosopher Thales “discovered” that the Earth was flat.

1813 —Charles Redheffer invented a perpetual motion machine.

Previously thought to be impossible according to the laws of physics, Redheffer showed up in New York with a machine that seemed to produce enough energy to keep itself turning.*

1842 —Mummified mermaid discovered in Fiji.**

1938

—Martians first reported to attack Earth. Widespread panic arose due to radio program voiced by Orson Welles, which delivered a series of news bulletins documenting the event. People claimed to have seen flashes in the distance and smelled poison gas.

June 1947 —Spacecraft containing extraterrestrial life reported to have crashed near Roswell, New Mexico.

April 1962

—Colour broadcasting. Sweden discovered how to convert black and white TVs into colour TVs by covering the screen with nylon stockings, sitting at the correct distance, and moving one’s head back and forth in order to align the colour spectrum.

April 1998 —Alabama changed the value of Pi. According to the New Mexicans for Science and Reason newsletter (NMSR), the Alabama state legislature voted to change pi from 3.1415926535... to 3.0 for religious purposes.

April 1999 — Telepathic email invented (for messages of up to 240 characters).

April 2002 —Decline of the blonde gene.

News organizations, including BBC and CNN, declared a World Health Organization (WHO) report stated that blondes would disappear within 200 years. The report stated that the recessive gene for blonde hair was dying out, and soon natural blondes would go the way of the Dodo bird.

April 2007 —Extinct pig-footed bandicoot rises from the dead. Kitten-sized marsupials, once widespread throughout Australia, spotted alive and well.

April 2008 — Flying penguins discovered on King George Island near Antarctica.

April 2012 —Google discovers how to control the weather. With the development of a drop-down menu that enables users to change the weather, science has made significant advancements in harnessing nature.

April 2012 —Teleportation app developed.

Click-To-Teleport, a Chrome extension that allows potential customers to instantly teleport to business locations was released. This app revolutionized travel in the 21st century.

April 2012 — Gmail Tap. Foogle revolutionizes typing with Gmail Tap. By utilizing Morse Code, developers replaced the QWERTY keyboard with only two keys that can type every letter of the alphabet.

April 2013 —Google Nose Beta. Foogle develops technology to allow users to search for smells. The Google Aromabase has over 15 million scentibytes that enables the seamless connection from scent to search.

*Upon closer inspection, skeptics found a belt drive leading through the wall and into an attic, where it was powered by an old man turning a crank with one hand, and eating a loaf of bread with the other. **Later proved to be nothing more than the head and torso of a monkey attached to the tail of a fish.

This week in

By Kady Oui

research

Name change holds key to fountain of youth Research shows positive initials promote longevity A study conducted by the Department of Psychology at the University of California suggests that the initials of your name may have an impact on lifespan. Individuals with “positive” initials, such as A.C.E. and V.I.P. have been shown to live longer than those with “negative” initials, like P.I.G. and D.I.E. Using California death certificates from 1965-1995, researchers isolated 2,287 male decedents with “negative” initials, and only 1,200 with “positive” initials. Based on these results, it was determined that males with positive initials

live 4.48 years longer, whereas males with negative initials die 2.80 years younger, compared to matched controls. Similar trends were observed for females, though (obviously) less strong.

Researchers suspect the longevity effects of positive initials are due to the power of symbolism as a socio-psychological factor. Based on the paper, negative initials are associated with causes of death with psychological components, such as accidents and suicides, while positive initials are associated with shifts away from these causes.

These initial-influenced mortality rates are supported by significant evidence. Men with positive initials

died noticeably less frequently from strokes, accidents, diabetes, suicide, and HIV. This goes to show that the symbolic environment can markedly affect mortality. Psychologists from the study conclude, “A symbol as simple as one’s initials can add four years to life, or subtract three years from it.”

If you would like to get your name changed to more positive initials, contact le Directeur de l’état civil. The application process will take a few months, but keep in mind it could be the difference between living to 88 or 84.

commentary

Smashing your exams with a Binge drinking shows little effect on test performance Stieran Keer Contributor A two week break from Berts might not be necessary this round of exams. New research shows that there is little difference in exam performance after a night of binge drinking.

Dr. Damaris Rohsenow, from Brown University, and Dr. Johnathan Howland, from Boston University School of Public Health, performed an experiment on a group of nearly 200 college students investigating the effects of binge drinking on Graduate Record Examination (GRE) scores, and quiz results from a previous day’s lecture.

In the experiment, each of the students participated in two sessions. During the first, the subjects were required to attend a specific lecture, study the material for one compulsory hour, and then meet together to drink either alcoholic or non-alcoholic beer, as chosen by the administrators of the study. The researchers ensured that the subjects receiving the alcoholic beer reached a blood alcohol level of 0.12—about the point where loss of coordination and slurred speech occurs.

The students were then given a full eight hours of sleep, going to bed at the same time.

The next morning, all subjects took the GRE test, which includes mathematics, reasoning, and verbal skills, and a quiz on the previous day’s lecture.

The second session consisted of the same schedule, but with different subjects assigned the alcoholic treatment and non-alcoholic placebo.

Surprisingly, results showed no variation in test performance between subjects who drank

vodka red bull

the night before and those who didn’t. The average score on some sections of the GRE was even somewhat higher in binge drinkers.

However, before you start looking up drink deals for exam week, note that the study also specified that, “drinking leads to staying up too late… or getting too little sleep, [and] can disrupt next-morning… focus.”

Furthermore, though test-taking skills proved to be unaffected, binge drinkers showed major mood shifts, and lowered reaction time the morning after.

So, while a few drinks may or may not break your exam performance, it is still important to get a good night sleep, and keep a positive attitude walking into the exam room.

national league

SPORTS, BRO

McGill’s

“now that frosh is finally done, i’m really looking forward to starting classes” P 10

Olympic proposals Look to the 2020 Olympics to see these new ‘sports’ in action

M

cGill is not just the 31st best university in the world; it is also the home of many sports. Seriously. Basketball was invented by James Naismith, a McGill graduate.

The first organized hockey game included McGill. And who played in that first ever American football game? Oh right, Harvard… and McGill.

As the International Olympic Committee decides which sports to include in the 2020 Olympic Games, they have once again asked McGill to develop a list for new sports to potentially be included.

After a Consultation Fair— which attracted more stu-

dents protesting the salaries of professional athletes than students with actual suggestions—the McGill community has developed this list as its latest contribution to the international sporting world:

“I should really get around to learning french” p8

—The Bros

- 4Floors line jumping - Dep sprint - McClennan desk wrestling - Samosa eating contest - Pin the red square on the donkey - Efficient budget cutting - Sitting through General Assemblies (the ultimate test of endurance) - Freestyle McTavish flood crossing - Upper Rez mountain climbing - Lacrosse

“female athletes underrepresented on redmen basketball team” p7

Say What?..................

Funny team names from the university world

There is a good chance you know what tigers, bulldogs, and eagles are. But what in the world is a Gaiter, a Billiken, or even a Martlet? As the college sports season wraps up on both sides of the border, the Tribune thought it would be helpful to demystify some of the oddest team nicknames from the NCAA tournament and those closer to home.

Saint Louis Billikens:

This is by far the weirdest name in college sports. St. Louis native Florence Pretz, who allegedly saw one in a dream, created the billiken in the early 20th century as a good luck charm. The billiken looks like an elf with pointy ears, wears a smile, and has a small tuft of hair. The fad eventually passed, which is a good thing, because the so-called toys were really scary looking. Also, one of the team’s early football coaches apparently

bore an uncanny resemblance to the ridiculous lucky charms.

Wichita State Shockers:

You think you know what this means, but you actually don’t.

Located in the heart of Kansas, students at Wichita State used to “shock” wheat to make a little extra cash. Shocking is the process of collecting wheat sheaves into tall stacks to dry them out, and the team was called the Wheatshockers until they eventually decided that “Shockers” was a catchier name.

Just ask sports media outlets how hard it was to come up with headlines after Wichita State ‘shocked’ their way to the Final Four.

North Carolina Tar Heels:

North Carolina’s state nickname is the Tar Heel State. Satis-

fied? Didn’t think so. Basically, before the American Revolution, North Carolina was a major source of pine tar for the British Empire; so, North Carolinians were eventually called “tarboilers” and later, “tar heels,” a derogatory name.

Others say that General Cornwallis’ men emerged from the Tar River (the British filled it with tar to prevent Cornwallis’ advance) ,and walked across the state with tar on their feet. During the Civil War, North Carolina’s confederate troops “stuck to their ranks like they had tar on their heels.” The university’s students eventually took the name for themselves, but the true source remains disputed.

Georgetown Hoyas:

The name derives from a Latin cheer that Georgetown students used to serenade their football and baseball teams. “Hoya, Hoya, Saxa!

Hoya, Hoya Georgetown!” means, “What rocks!” and might have referred to the teams’ strong defences. Later on, the teams just made it their name. Imagine if McGill had named their teams after some of the cheers students learn during Frosh.

Bishop’s Gaiters:

“A gaiter is a cloth or leather leg covering reaching from the instep to above the ankle or to mid-calf or knee.” Makes sense. Good thing the sports teams disregarded spelling and made their mascot a gator. I’m sure that piece of cloth would have gotten the fans really excited.

McGill Redmen/ Martlets:

Sorry Indians, Redskins, Braves, and other racist sports team names that should be changed, the Redmen aren’t in your club. (Saying some-

thing is not racist? In a campus publication? Must be the joke issue).

The name either derives from McGill’s pre-name red uniforms, or from the Scottish heritage of the university, as Celts were commonly known as Red Men due to their red hair. On the other hand, Martlets are mythical birds used in heraldry that have tufts of feathers instead of feet.

According to McGill, “The inability of the martlet to land symbolizes the constant quest for knowledge and learning.” Maybe the football team should name themselves the Martlets, considering all that time spent in the quest for knowledge and learning seems to be cutting into their practice schedule.

—Kevin Lent